Newcomers: Sports, with Nicole Byer and Lauren Lapkus - Star Wars Ep. V - The Empire Strikes Back (w/ Jon Gabrus)

Episode Date: February 4, 2020

Does Vader's army know his face looks like a chewed up piece of gum? Why is Chewie always so stressed out? And, is this the best the series is going to get? The girls have questions, and Star Wars fan and #1 fuccboi Jon Gabrus (High & Mighty, ActionBoyz podcast) is here to answer.They also the discuss the best practical effects and worst special effects, the lack of romance, and and the rise of Lucas's production empire. While the girls warm up to the series, Gabrus has a few words for the angry Star Wars fans listening.Be sure to check out Gabrus's other HeadGum podcast - High & Mighty.Like the show? Rate Newcomers 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts and write in the review what Star Wars media you'd like us to cover.Sources for this episode:The Empire Strikes Back WookieepediaThe New York Times review from 1980The Origin of Darth Vader: The VoiceSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. In the continuation of the Star Wars saga, the Empire strikes back and Luke, Han and Princess Leia must confront its awesome might. In the course of the Odyssey, they travel with their faithful friends, droids and Wookiees, to exotic worlds where they meet new alien creatures and evil machines. Culminating in an awesome confrontation between Luke Skywalker and the master of the dark side of the Force, Darth Vader. Luke Skywalker Princess Leia Han Solo C-3PO R2-D2

Chewbacca and introducing Landau Calrissian In the continuation of the Star Wars saga The Empire Strikes Back. Hi, hello. I'm Nicole Byer. I'm Lauren Lapkus. And you're listening to Newcomers. We watched...

We're watching Star Wars. We're watching Star Wars. We've never seen it. We don't... We never wanted to see it. No. We still don't want to see it. We brought this together.

We should learn that person's name and write them a letter and say, We hate you. Thanks for ruining our lives. So we watched A New Hope the other day. Today, the fucking, the emperor struck back. Yes. This movie, I liked it more than A New Hope. I also liked it more.

It was easier to follow. It had more fun elements. Yes. And a lot more, like, cute stuff. Like, it was more, like, labyrinth-y looking points. I thought it was only a couple years later. It was like 1980. So it's like three years later.

It was released May 17th, 1980. Irvin Kershaw directed it. That's also part of it. Different director and different writers. Yes. George Lucas did co-produce it. And I believe a woman was credited as writing this. I thought that too, yeah.

I think I saw. It went by really fast and I didn't go back to check it out. Me either. I said, not important to me. Someone at the studio will know. No, but I was happy about that. And I found it to be much, much more visually pleasing. Yes.

And I liked the changes that I noticed. And like, just even like c-3po was had a sort of different sheen to him he also lost his midsection we should introduce our guest he only had wires did he have that before okay our guest today is uh one of our favorite people john gabrus joins us in the studio hey what's up dork, dorks? So, did he have wires in the middle? Yeah, he didn't have wires in the middle in the first one. Wait, we better introduce our guest. We have this pressing question about C-3PO's stomach wires from the first movie.

His midriff wasn't out. His guts weren't out. No. Yeah, that was new. Yeah, I think he got a little polished up and maybe lost a stomach piece. Okay. I liked his new look. It showed his flexibility when he bent over and

stuff i was also really pleased because yoda was introduced and we thought yoda was going to be in the first movie we're waiting for him well that's what i was wondering when you're watching this movie and you see luke say i have to go to the dagobah system to meet a jedi master do you even know that that's yoda at that point, I did not know that was Yoda. But then Yoda appeared on the screen. I went, that's my dude Yoda. And then Milhiser, my roommate, was like, pretend you don't know that's Yoda. He's like, just go on the journey of the movie.

Yeah, right. Yeah. I was thrilled when Yoda came. And then when he was on his back, when he was on Luke's back, I was like, oh, this is one of those backpacks at Disneyland with Yoda where it's like a backpack. Oh, shit starts making sense. Now I kind of want one. Yeah, did like, did this

open up your eyes? I kind of want one. Mission accomplished. I want it. Imagine if I walked around with a Yoda backpack just day to day. It could happen so soon after watching these. I don't know which way I could go. And that's consumerism, baby. I'm so easily susceptible. Probably for the best that know. I don't know which way I could go. And that's consumerism, baby.

I'm so easily susceptible. Probably for the best that it's after you've at least seen the movies once. You don't want to be the guy like, I like Star Wars. I like this little green backpack guy. I love Yoda. Yoda was so cool and cute. Although I didn't really understand why carrying him as part of the training. He weighs nothing. That was weird.

It was just to not have a puppeteer running alongside. Would be my guess. It's like probably the simplest way to. Here's something I want to ask you guys. You said this one's more kid-like, more like a little more childlike, a little more labyrinth-like. This is classically the best of Star Wars heads.

This is the best it's going to get? I know. Earlier outside, you guys were saying like, I did's going to get. I know. Earlier outside, you guys were saying like, I did not enjoy it. And I was like, guys, I got bad news.

This is, my personal favorite is the third one, Return of the Jedi. Okay, that's our next one. Which you guys will be doing on the next episode. That's the most childlike because that features both Yoda and Ewoks.

Yes. That's the one that I think I saw when I was a little kid. And it opens at Jabba's Palace with like an awesome rescue. Ooh, a palace. Come on now. It's going to be misleading to call it a palace. When you see it, you'll know what I'm talking about. I have to say, though, when it started, I'm going to pull up my notes because I did take some notes.

When Luke came in on the croissant horse, which I see is called a tauntaun. Oh, a tauntaun? Yeah. I was really excited. I loved the way those things looked. The wampa that was like eating his face and stuff. I thought that was really cool and reminded me of those Rudolph movies. Kind of stop motion.

Oh, yeah. Like Abominable Snowman. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Let's talk about this for a second. For me, watching this is so rich because I love the practical effects. I appreciate puppetry and animatronics over CGI. We didn't get to see that. We get to see CGI. We watched the remastered version yesterday. We can't watch the original effects. I appreciate puppetry and animatronics over CGI. We didn't get to see that. We get to see CGI.

We watched the remastered origin yesterday. We can't watch the original one. But this one was not fully remastered. Right, it's not fully. Some of it was. Like some of those

dinosaurs and stuff. Well, Yoda was practical. Yeah, and then also these guys, the Wampa and the Tauntaun. They added a couple of things that aren't in, yeah. They kind of were moving,

I thought, old style. Yeah, when Han, when Han runs into the base on the Tauntaun, and that's... That was weird. That's weird. That's added. Yeah. They kind of were moving, I thought, old style. Yeah. When Han runs into the base on the Tauntaun. That was weird. That's weird. That's added. Yeah. It was moving so fast.

Yeah. While I liked these Tom Toms and Wampas, why did we have to see them? They were very weird. And the terrain is suddenly very icy. It's very snowy and icy. The terrain is suddenly very icy. They're on a whole new planet called Hoth. Okay.

The ice planet. That's honestly important. Hoth. H-O-T-H. Okay, but like, why did we have to watch 20 minutes of, who cares? It was interesting that they spent so long with those creatures kind of, oh, but here's an interesting thing that I looked up. So I thought Mark Hamill looked really different in this movie.

Yes, he does. He got into a car accident. And the reason why he gets hit is so they could use his stitches. Yeah, so he had, like, scars on his face, basically, and so they had... But then there was one thing I read that said George Lucas kind of denied that the wampa eating was him or whatever was not really for that,

and it was already going to be in there, but it kind of worked with it. But Carrie Fisher said in an interview that it was for that, so there's, like, mixed sort of... Yeah, but there's also, like, but it kind of worked with it. But Carrie Fisher said in an interview that it was for that. So there's like mixed sort of. But there's also like Luke becomes sort of a badass too. He does. I thought he got hotter. Exactly.

It adds a layer to him. Isn't he the most annoying? Because I just showed all these movies to Tiffany like only a couple years ago for the first time. She had never seen any of them. That's very kind of you. Yeah. You've been together for a very long time. Yeah, you let her get away with that. Well, I never forced it on her until the new one was going to come out i'm like do you want to

go see episode nine uh whatever episode seven together and she was like yeah i'm like do you want to and so i and we're watching the first one she's like this is luke skywalker this is who the hero i'm like he's so annoying he's a child and you're like yeah he's a total pussy the movie is the piece is a trilogy so when you watch it as a trilogy you're like, yeah, he's a total pussy. The movie is, the piece is a trilogy. So when you watch it as a trilogy, you're like, holy shit.

But if you watch Just New Hope, you don't end that movie feeling satisfied in any way, right? Right, and he's not enough like in that

because he is like such a little child in that first one. But he's cooler in this one for sure. Oh, he's definitely cooler in the facial scar. How about when he

fucking made out with Princess Leia in the hospital bed? And we, Gemberling did tell us that they're twins, so we kind of know that, but we didn't really, we knew someone was sibling. They don't know. Yeah, the storyline doesn't have it. And that is

sick and horny. And do you think that I would say Luke's face after the kiss, Mark Hamill is doing amazing acting there. Because he has this sort of like, that was a surprise, but also looks to Han like, I got it, right? You know, he's playing a very cool, a very hard to display emotion in that moment.

But now, do you think the actors are great in this? Yeah, everyone's great. Oh, I mean, it's made up of like the best at the time, which is great. And now the second one using Larry Kasdan and Irving, Jared Kushner or whatever, Irving Kusher, using those guys instead of Lucas just makes it that much stronger.

Can I read you this bad review from the New York Times about this movie? Okay, so this kind of also talks us through the plot a little bit. This much about the Empire Strikes Back I do understand. When the movie begins, Han Solo and Princess Leia and their gang are hanging out in a cold, snowy planet where soldiers ride patrols on animals that look like ostrich kangaroos, where there are white-furred animals that are not polar bears, and where Luke Skywalker almost freezes to death. Under the command

of Darth Vader, the forces of the Empire attack, employing planes, missiles, and some awfully inefficient tanks that have the shape of armor-plated camels. Somehow, Han Solo and Princess Leia escape. At that point, Luke Skywalker flies off to find Yoda, a guru who will teach him more about the Force. Yoda being the successor to Ben Kenobi

the Star Wars guru. I didn't get that. Who was immolated in that movie but whose shade turns up from time to time in the new movie for what looks to have been about three weeks of work. Obi-Wan is Ben that they're referring to. Obi-Wan is the old Alec Guinness from the first movie. Why does Obi-Wan have two names and one is Ben? Because his name is Obi-Wan is like his Jedi name is he Ben? And one is Ben? Because his name is,

Obi-Wan is like his Jedi name, and then they call him Old Ben because that's what he's become, like Ben Kenobi. Yeah. Like a has-been? Well, Anakin Skywalker is Darth Vader. You know what I mean?

Yes. They have like their Jedi name, which is Obi-Wan Kenobi. Oh. But now that when he lives on Tatooine overwatching Luke, he's, they call him Old Ben or Uncle Ben.

You know, Old Ben, not Uncle Ben. Okay. Uncle Ben's the right. Oh, it's Uncle Owen. Uncle Owen.

I found myself glancing at my watch. It was nice and inoffensive. It's silly. It has no beginning or end. It's a lot of hot air. But he also talks about Yoda being a small,

delightful, Muppet-like troll creature created and operated by Frank Odds of the Muppet Show. And that is my favorite part. Okay, so that was just something that was said in 1980 about the film. Oh, you can...

I love a review from before 99 or before 2000 where it's like, I could not stop looking at my watch. Yeah. I know, it's like nowadays you'd be like, I was on Instagram

for the whole movie. Scrolling, scrolling. Watching this, I just could not picture Lapkus watching this without her phone in her hand. I'm sorry. My phone was in full effect. I was in, I had multiple screens happening. It was impossible. It took me longer to watch because I would get on my phone and be like, I love this.

And then be like, wait, what's happening? I know. And then I'd have to pause it, rewind. Well, did Millheiser watch it with you? Yes. And he was so annoyed with me. Oh, because Mike was watching with me, but he was noticing me zone out and he'd go, okay, that guy's that guy and this guy's doing that.

I was like, thank you. I missed that part. But I am here. And I was trying to pay as much attention as I could. Like, I did everything in my power with my phone to pay attention. Yesterday, we did it. We watched it as a watch-along, and I think that was possibly

the hardest thing I've ever done because we were so focused and recording while we were watching that we couldn't be distracted, and I think that made us both very sleepy. Oh, so sleepy. It took all your energy

to watch a movie. Listen to you guys movie listen to you guys listen to you guys this is the hardest thing I've had to do in my life and both my parents are dead let me tell you it was tough

when I was watching last night because okay we did have a panic attack yesterday I think individually about I can speak for myself but after watching the first one I was like

we've made a terrible mistake how many are you supposed to watch for this all of them wait including the prequels are you supposed to watch for this? All of them. Wait, including the prequels and shit? You're saying all of them. There's like nine or ten now. All of them except for Rogue One and then

the Solo. Who knows? We might do those. We have 20 episodes that we're doing, so it could go. We're going to be covering a lot of Star Wars stuff. A lot. Fan fiction, games, so it could go. We're going to be covering a lot of Star Wars stuff. A lot. Fan fiction, games, all sorts of things. Well, have me back for the Star Wars customizable card game, because that took up maybe three years of my adolescence.

Really? There's a customizable card game? There's like a magic gathering of Star Wars cards. It's super complicated, and I played it religiously. Do you still know how to play? I probably could get going in like five or ten minutes. So do you love all of these movies? Like, we didn't really talk about this on Raised by TV, I don't think.

We didn't get into Star Wars at all. Every time I brought it up, you would go to the producer, cut it, cut the mic. And I was like, oh, all right. Cut it. Star Wars was a huge part of my childhood, like most adolescent boys, but it used to be nerdy. Before it was a huge part of my childhood, like most adolescent boys.

But it used to be nerdy. Before it was a Disney movie, it used to be like... For me to have watched these movies that were made in the 70s and early 80s, I'm born in 82. So I didn't see any of them live or just eventually someone showed me A New Hope on Star Wars. And for a kid who's into... It's just the coolest shit. It's got... Jedis are sort of like samurais and ninjas.

So you got swords. Then you got spaceships. Then you got guns. Then you have weird robots. Then you have bounty hunters. Then you have aliens. And then you have Princess Leia, who's an absolute smoke show. She's beautiful.

And a badass. Exactly. And in Empire, who's an absolute smoke show. She's beautiful. And a badass. Exactly. And in Empire, she's doing very cool shit. But I love her new hairstyle. I love when she has the goggles on and she's just repairing something on the Falcon. I'm like, this movie is like, we think we know what you like about Princess Leia. Let me show you her in a gown. Let me show you her as General Leia.

Let me show you her doing maintenance. Let me show you kiss both male characters. Let me show you her as General Leia. Let me show you her doing maintenance. Let me show you a kiss. She's truly the meme. Both male characters in the movie. She's the meme. Get you a girl who can do both. Yes. She's doing it all.

She's such a, and for like a young kid, she was just so fucking hot to me. And then everything was like Han Solo was badass, but you wanted to be Luke because you wanted to have a lightsaber. And then like part of it was how cute all the little puppets were. But we wouldn't cop to that when we were kids. And then so Star Wars became a thing that you became a fan of and then you read the books, which were the EU, the Extended Universe. Then you played the card

game. Yeah, I didn't know there was books. Yeah, and they've been since wiped from canon. Meaning like all these Extended Universe books that came out in like the 20 years following star wars kind of expanded on the world there was a video game called shadows of the empire which expanded on the world and then they wiped all of that first for episode uh seven to be like we're not including all because so much stuff was created outside of it like luke

and uh like there's kid like han and leia have kids and they have jedis and like chewbacca has a family and shit chewbacca has a family yeah he's got a lady chewbacca oh yeah there's kids like Han and Leia have kids and they have Jedi's and like Chewbacca has a family and shit Chewbacca has a family? Yeah he's got a family Is there a lady Chewbacca? Oh yeah there's a Lobaca I believe Lobaca!

That's cute That's my nickname Did they Lobaca! Did Did you feel like Chewie was like really stressful again

in this film? I feel like he is so emotional He's constantly in a midlife crisis slash anxiety attack slash panic attack well this movie his fucking best friend his teammate is getting frozen in carbonite that's so wild that's crazy isn't that like weird here's the thing well i saw this movie as a kid

and even re-watching it now it's like the context and what's happening is like an evil jedi is freezing a dude to send him to a gambler because he owes debt. And, uh, and all this weird context of like, what the fuck is happening here? Yet the emotional core is there where it's so sad to see a Wookiee be sad. There's so much non-human,

non-real garbage going on. It is a good lesson on like credit card debt because you are in your own prison when they keep calling you. Yeah, that's like Capital One is froze Nicole Byer. They keep calling and I can't move. Oh, my God. I got to say, I did enjoy the lightsaber fight between Darth Vader and Luke. Me too. So awesome.

They really got a budget because that helmet is shining. And the lightsaber looks a lot better. Yeah, it did look better. Like everything was kind of upgraded. I feel like if, I guess if the first movie was a big hit, then they got way more money for the next one. But also, yeah, like they built, like George Lucas owned ILM, well, built ILM around these movies, Industrial Lights and Magic, who are, like, famous special effects people.

So he built, like, as these movies grew, he grew, gained power in, like, the ability to do shit. To be like, I'm just gonna have a Yeah, he's like, there's a Skywalker sound, like, he's got, like, all this he's got, Lucas now owns, like, all these post-production facilities.

And, like, Star Wars was just being made on this campus somewhere, yeah. But whenke loses his hand honestly he didn't react enough he had no reaction he truly was like well that's a hand that i had well he got some other news that maybe overshadows his hand okay so can we talk about that i was kind of surprised they got to it that quickly that you mean hour two and a half of this movie just that no i thought it was gonna be in the next movie too because they said in the first one and it felt like it wouldn't pay off that quickly. But I always thought he said, Luke, I am your father. That's like a Mandela effect.

Everyone believes that's the line. Wait, what was the line? It's, I am your father. He doesn't say, I am your father. He doesn't say, Luke, I am your father. Why do people say that? Because it was in Toy Story? Oh.

Well, I think it was one of those things and possibly maybe like a Vader toy or something like that. And maybe it like cuts to the chase when you're telling it. Like, he's talking to Luke.

He's his father. Yeah. Did you hear, did you talk about on New Hope, like, what the merch for this, for these movies did? No. No.

It was the most insane thing ever is that George Lucas, they didn't want to make it. And he's like, they didn't want to pay him a lot. He's like, fine, don't pay me anything. But I want, like, a huge chunk of all the toys and all the merch that comes after. And they were like, yeah, of course, fine. No one's made. And then Lucas made three movies that are built for toys there's a new character in every frame right like every frame there's a

new vehicle or a new character and you just see it's so obvious he's just building and he's making billions off of the merch because the toys the toys went gangbuster. Like the Hasbro deal or whoever they made it with. It just went insane. And he printed fucking money off this for years. That's nice. And then just kept making more and more movies with more and more. It's like when Transformers and G.I. Joe and He-Man started selling toys as a kid. You started to notice it's like, get in our new He-Man motorcycle.

And it's like, why does He-Man have a motorcycle? And then the next thing you know, it's like, get in our new He-Man motorcycle. And it's like, why does He-Man have a motorcycle? And then the next thing you know, it's like, you could buy the He-Man motorcycle and toys. And you're like, oh, you motherfuckers. And it took hindsight to realize that. But Lucas had built such a huge specific world that they just had so many fucking toys. And imagine being a kid and seeing this movie

and then you can have the fucking X-Wing. Yeah, it's fucking rules. What is the name of that big elephant uh thing that stomped around very slowly towards that robot thing yeah that's like got crushed uh if it has four legs it's an atat walker if it has two legs it's an atst gotta say pretty dumb they moved so slowly right i was like we can't take these out faster. And then to take them out, we put a rope around their little legs and they fall down and go boom. Is that with it? I like that mechanic.

It's really fun. It's like it's impenetrable armor. It's like we got to try to do something else. Oh, it's impenetrable armor. They were shooting it and that's why nothing was hurting it. Oh, okay. They're slow and steady. The little ones with two legs are sort of a little faster.

okay they're slow and steady the little ones with two legs are sort of a little faster but uh you'll see in the next movie too the ats atats the adats if you will come back with the atsts and they get worked again in a different way the empire for all the money and all the limitless uh cloned troops whatever we want to call them uh the stormtroopers for the limitless amount of bad guys they have they really their game plan is weak. They're constantly like, all right, let's slowly walk everyone in there. Oh, we lost Millennium Falcon. All right, throw the garbage out. Also, they lost the Millennium Falcon while it was on their ship.

Yes, it's insane. I was like, come on. I want to say really quickly, it was written by a woman and a man. Oh. Lee Brackett and Lawrence Kasdan. And after the success of the original film, Lucas hired Lee Brackett to write the sequel before personally outlining the saga as a whole and finishing the film script himself. So he wrote a version and then, like, had her write it.

Yeah. I just wanted to fact check that. And then Larry Kasdan, like, kind of, he wrote it with her or also got credit on it because he's kind of what they call the architect of star wars oh okay so he's he did because i think he did another one i think he does jedi as well i do i am really surprised that a woman wrote it i like that a woman wrote it also i feel like you can kind of see i feel like some touches well i liked it more and i wonder if that has to do with it i think more stuff happens in this movie, objectively.

And there's like emotional, seemingly more emotional characters and moments. Like, even Yoda's whole little house and the whole conversation with him in there, I really liked that world that they were sitting in for a little bit. It felt different from, it just felt very different from the first movie. This world you like. By the way, I was blown away that's what his voice really is because everyone's been doing impressions for everyone. I was like, everyone does bad

impressions of Yoda. But then it's like, no, Yoda's voice is wild. My voice wild it is, yes. That's a perfect impression. I'm perfect. Yeah, I really fucking liked Yoda. What a cool little dude. He's so fucking cute.

He's adorable. Before you realize he's the Jedi Master, too, when he's just, like, arguing with R2-D2 over the hot dog and shit. Like, that shit is truly funny. It didn't make me laugh out loud. I did. And he was very hungry. He was, like, going through all this stuff.

Well, he lives in a swampland. Yeah. Alone, too. Right, I think he's the only living being on Dagobah. Oh, dang. What happened to the other? The only living, like, humanoid. What happened to the other Yodas?

Well, that's where the thing gets a little confusing, because we don't, they don't know, because Yoda is, like, 900 years old. Oh, dang. So they don't know if he's just, like, a shrunken old Jedi human, or if he's, like, if he's a race. I'm assuming that's been retconned in some movie,

because, like, Yoda fights in the prequels. He fights? Yeah, when you get to, if he's a race. I'm assuming that's been retconned in some movie because like Yoda fights in the prequels. He fights? Yeah, when you get to, I think it's like episode two, Yoda has a lightsaber and we see him fight. I can't wait.

I like that. And he like flips around. He flips around. It's really funny. It's insane. And it's like embarrassing. Because. Oh, I'm excited.

I do like that. The prequels came out my junior year of high school episode one phantom menace came out my junior high school i cut school and waited in line outside the movie theater to get tickets went that night to see the movie and was so disappointed but i was afraid like i couldn't admit to myself that i didn't like it so i like justified it for like four days i'm like like, well, Darth Maul is cool. Then I went back. Darth Maul? Wait till you meet Darth Maul.

He's actually the only cool part. And then I went. Is Darth Maul a sibling of Darth Vader? Is he the one that looks like the devil? Yes, he's the one with the red and black face. Yeah.

But Darth is like Darth Sidious, Darth Vader, Darth Maul. Darth Sidious. Darth is a title you get if you're in an, if you're of the evil Jedi Order. Darth Sidious sounds like a black man's name. Come here, Darth Sidious. Oh, a title you get if you're of the evil Jedi Order. Darth Sidious sounds like a black man's name.

Come here, Darth Sidious. Oh, it's one word? Yeah. This is my son, Darth Sidious. Yeah. I like it. We'll be back with more Star Wars right after this short break. Wait.

I didn't realize that the scary man in this movie had a name. Palpapine? Palpatine. Palpatine? The Emperor, if you will. Oh, that's the Emperor. Yeah, and that's what he runs the Empire, which is the bad guys. But we didn't see him in the first one.

So did he exist in the universe in the first one or is he a new addition? I think they referenced him in the first one and Vader doesn't speak to him in any way, like in a hologram or anything. Oh, also, what's up with Darth Vader's fucking's fucking head why is it all nasty and then why does he sit in that egg all day yeah what's up with that all right so that's uh vader's like meditation chamber quote unquote he something happened to darth vader to anakin skywalker yes and which you'll see in episode three he's like burned alive oh shit and. And then the only way to keep him alive is to live inside the system that is.

So the Darth Vader mask, the breathing, all that. Oh, so he can't look like anything. Like he will not, he can't be revealed. Right. Because we were wondering if he was going to be a white man in there because... Because I heard he was a white man. He is a white man.

But he doesn't show his face. He does in the third one. Oh. Oh. That's what I look forward to. Yeah. Yeah, it is a white dude and they're voiced by, like,

the most legendarily black-voiced man. Yeah, we found that confusing. Yeah. I mean, was that originally... In order for him to be Luke's father, you kind of... But Gemberling brought up a good point. We don't know if they're actually humans.

They could be, like, a different race of something. Right, right. So the colors of your skin doesn't truly matter. Well, technically humans are born on Earth. And if Luke is born on Tatooine, that doesn't make him a human. Right.

It could be anything. And he's a moisture farmer. Yeah, a moisture farmer. But was it originally... Can you speak to protocol droids? Was the guy playing Darth Vader in the suit originally supposed to be the voice as well? I don't know. Okay.

Yeah, we want to know about that if the voice was added in post. I feel like they had it, they knew they needed a cool, big, deep voice. Yeah, his voice does everything. I mean, it's... Yeah, it's amazing hearing J.E.J. do that. I think, I bet you they would have had

James Earl Jones in the suit. James Earl Jones is a big... James Earl Jones. Yeah, he's a big guy at that point. Right. Not big in had James Earl Jones in this. But like James Earl Jones is a big, James Earl Jones. Yeah. He's a big guy at that point. So he's, they're like, not big in size,

but like in fame. It's like, he's not going to be in a fucking suit. He's like, put me in a booth after the fact. So Lando Carissian is charismatic and cool and like friends with Hans. Oh wait, can I pause you?

Cause I just found out something about that and it's kind of insane. Ooh, tell us. So on the set of Star Wars, David Prowse, who was in the costume... Yes, who's like a giant freak man. He was worried that his lines were being muffled by Darth Vader's helmet.

Not to worry, he was told the lines would be re-recorded, but what nobody told him, according to the actor, was that he wouldn't be the one doing the re-recording. That's fucked up! Yes. Like, with a strong Devonshire accent that earned him the nickname Darth Farmer from the crew

the reality is that David Prowse was never going to be called upon to provide the voice of Darth Vader instead Lucas went through tapes of some of the finest voices

in Hollywood including Orson Welles he eventually arrived at James Earl Jones that is so mean that guy though wouldn't that hurt you that's Hollywood baby

so he was standing there saying all that stuff but it was like everyone couldn't really hear him he was in a trailer looking at stuff, but it was like everyone couldn't really hear him. He was in a trailer looking at size. But if he has a Devonshire accent, too, that's like sort of like almost cockney.

You know, like I'm not. That would be so weird. That's like non-city British accent. That would be such a very different movie. Oi, Luke. I'm your father. I'm your fucking father. Okay, what was your question you were going to ask? Oh, about Lando Carisian. So I'm your father. I'm your fucking father. Okay.

What was your question? You were about Lando Carisian. So Lando and Hans, I call him Hans, even though I know it's not Hans Olo. So they're friends from way back. They're friends. And we trusted him.

Yes, they used, they're both sort of criminal smuggler guys. So they trust each other to a certain degree because they're old friends. We will see their friendship blossom in the movie solo but it sucks oh that despite way later the highlight of it is that donald glover is young lando and donald's pretty good casting donald's the best part of the movie but that movie sucked balls yeah um sometimes a movie when they try to do a prequel they go too too hard so that, like, as improvisers, you know, like, the power of the connection is one thing, but it also still has to be good or funny. Yes.

In, like, these prequels, they're, like, establishing things that we're supposed to give a shit about later on in life. Here, I'll spoil something from Solo that sucks. Okay. He's getting on a transport ship, and they're like, what's your name? He's like, Han. And they were like, what's your last name? He's like, I don't have one. He's like, do you have any family?

He's like, no, I'm all alone. He's like, solo it is. That is dumb. And it's so dumb because no one cares how he got his last name. Right. Anyone has a last name.

Why would he keep it? That's so funny. Yeah, I like that. I am Han Solo. I got no one. I guess. I'm Solo. Dude, the movies make a ton even if they suck.

Yes, at this point. All of them make so much money. The ones that people don't, like the people like universally hate. Well, I don't think, I think it's hard to please Star Wars fans. I liked Episode 7. I liked Rogue One. I thought they were fine. They're not the same as these movies.

They don't have the same heart. And I think a lot of it's like the digital effects. I don't give a shit about what race or gender any of my Jedis are. That's not what I'm here. I'm not here to see white people throw lightsabers around. That's not the appeal of the first movie. For me, it's the creatures and the lore and the world. Yeah.

And so that is in some of the newer movies. So I can appreciate it, but it's not as strong. C-3PO, he gets all discombobulated. Wait, who are the people who take him apart? his legs were up in his face like he was eating his own ass

the whole movie. Yeah, he was definitely trying to S his own D. S his own D. And then I like that Chewbacca was carrying him around and trying to fix him. That was cute.

Yeah. And he put his hat on backwards. That was funny. They had some funny little moments. There was some good comic relief. And how about when C-3PO interrupted that kiss between Leia and Han and I was like, get the fuck

out of here. We're trying to see these people fuck. Those are two of the most attractive people on earth at the time. Man, Harrison Ford. Ooh, wait. What a treat. and I feel like I heard he got he was like George Lucas's like carpenter and Lucas was like this guy is fucking handsome I think puts him in American graffiti for like a small part what it's like maybe we should have

this guy in Hans as Han Solo what did who did imagine that dude comes to your house and like your wife is like you're a man and your wife like, I ordered a contractor to come fix the house. You see it's fucking young Harrison Ford. That's crazy. You're fired. You gotta go. No hot nannies. You can't be here.

No hot contractors. No, thank you. Get them out of here. Okay, wait. Here's what I looked up about that. He met George Lucas when he auditioned for American Graffiti and was cast in the film. After that, he continued to do carpentry and was hired to do some work for Francis Ford Coppola. While working for him, he crossed paths with Lucas again and was hired to read lines for Star Wars Edition.

So being the carpenter did help him get cast. That is crazy. That's fucking cool. So he had to still have a regular job. That's kind of interesting. After American Graffiti. Yeah. I mean.

American Graffiti was a small movie, and I think his part was small. Oh, I feel like it's so famous that I think of it as. I think it's more famous just because it's Lucas' first movie. I see. Never seen it. I saw that one time. Well, hopefully you'll get to it in one of your episodes of this show.

A quick detour to American graffiti. We're watching THX 1138, Lucas' student film. I will say, Hans really comes on to Leah super hard. In a way where I was like, does she want it? I don't know how to feel. But then she did want it and it was okay. She kind of teases it at Hoth that she's into him a little bit, right? Like as they're escaping.

Into Han, yeah. It seems like she starts to become attracted to him. Yeah. I think she's attracted to him in the first movie, but like he is a scumbag. Yeah. But my whole feeling is like just fucking like there's nothing going on you're in he's hot who cares there's pretty much no consequences what's wrong with it just have a relationship well that's where that's where

you're harshly reminded that it is a children's movie in the end right like when you're watching this as despite all the dark images of like your dad dad is evil now. You get your arm cut off. Your friend is frozen. Despite all that, it is a children's movie. It does have blinking fucking robots that are like, deep, deep, deep, talking to each other. But don't you think the fans don't think that? That's what I find.

Also, I get so much shit for this all the time when I'm like, well, Marvel movies are fucking children's movies. They are children's movies. I like them. Yeah. But they're movies for kids. Right. People are like, they're fucking cinema.

And I'm like, all right, fine. Yes, older people can watch them. But they're fucking kids movies. They're PG-13. They're absolutely sexless. Robert Downey Jr. is like 58 and he's Iron Man. He's having a kid in the last movie. It's like, what the fuck is this?

That is weird when you say it like that. This movie reminded me so much of Guardians of the Galaxy. Well, Guardians of the Galaxy, yes, because Guardians of the Galaxy was clearly inspired by this. Ah, yes, yes, yes. Because they made it, they call Star Wars a space opera. Like, that's what they refer to it as. I read that today and I was like, what? What does that mean?

Because it's just like an epic tale told in three parts of the trilogy. And it's like an opera in that there's an evil leader, a rebellion. It's got like, it's like this huge sweeping epic but there's no singing and when they call carmen a hip-hop there's hip-hop in there fair enough they call it a hip-hop they put a t in there well i fucked it up the one with beyonce a hip-hop a hip-hopper a hip-hopper a hip-hopper Luke hears Ben slash Obi-Wan a bunch yeah that's like a running thing in the second and third movie is that uh Jedi's they can like appear as force apparitions as it's called because he didn't die he became part of the force yeah that's how Jedi when you're a certain level of Jedi, that's how you die. Like you die, but you're physical.

You leave your physical form and you become like, yeah. So when Darth Vader in the first one stepped on his robes, he wasn't checking to see if he was dead. He was trying to see if he became part of the force. That's a great question. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah. He was like, where did he go? He was like, I hope that's how I die.

I hope one day I get hit by a car and then just I disappear. My clothes, just a pair of fucking short shorts and a Hawaiian shirt are laying there. So when the whole thing happened with Darth Vader and he's like about to, he's hanging there with one arm, Luke, and it seems like his only option is to join the dark side or to die. But then he basically commits suicide is what you think is happening. Right. But then he just lands on a slide and he's fine.

And then lands on a second slide. Yeah. I didn't, like, did he know, do you think he knew that he would be okay? Like, or is that one of those things where it was like, that was lucky? So there's, there's a lot you can unpack there because it is lucky. Maybe he knew about it. But then Star Wars gets this, and Luke especially, gets a little bit of like a graded on a curve because the force is not fully explained exactly what.

Right. Maybe it's because he has the power of the force. He has the force. So, you know, luck maybe goes in your side. I think it might be in the third one or it's in the first one where like for luck when they swing across, I forget. Like there's a lot of things that happen to our main characters that are lucky which is always classic storytelling like your hero gets lucky right but the force is like a

mystical power of good so maybe it keeps luke alive longer than it should and uh the millennium falcon's able to get there to rescue him or whatever i thought it was fully him using the force i thought he was like my daddy's evil daddy's in front of me i don't want to join daddy oh the force is telling me to exactly because then he actually uses the force and you see him tell leia that he's hanging there right so she can come back to get him well yeah and then there's like the element there's like the elements of like luke and vader know where each other are at times and stuff like that. So I think you're right.

And like when we see Luke training, he's like running and doing somersaults and stuff, which is not something he showed the ability to do ever. And like, that's just something I feel like the force juices you up a little bit and help you in those. I can understand why people get really obsessed with that idea. Like fans of the movie,

because it is a very powerful sort of hopeful thing, like that you have this energy that can help you through something. Well, it's like the same thing that, you know, it's the fantasy elements of Marvel movies where you're like, yeah, I'm a normal fat dude. But what if I was just bit by a spider? And then, you know, and then you see that in something like the Bourne movies. There are all these like fantasies of just like lazy people who become superheroes. Well, it's like, yeah, it's not like Luke dedicated 24 years to training in martial arts. No, he was trying to go to school or something.

He was with Yoda for maybe 15 minutes. Yeah. And well, I do like, and this might be a special edition thing because I don't remember it as much, but like they're really hesitant to let Luke leave. They're like, no, no, no, no, no. You need to do a little more training. You gotta stay here.

And Luke's like, no, no, I'll be fine. 24 more credits you need. But I like that Yoda was like, you're gonna fuck this up. Right. You can't go. You've only been here because I feel like everything in this movie happens in real time because in the first movie i'll talk about this to the day i die they say you have a half hour to get to the front or whatever and then it took a literal half hour we were so mad i couldn't believe it we were like how long is this going on then it was like oh they

said it would take 30 minutes 30 minutes and that's what it did um by the way this won the best sound and visual effects at the Oscars. I buy that. I thought that was true. It was pretty cool. I thought the visual effects were really great in this one. They hold up now. They do.

They do. This movie's 40 years old. Well, I really do feel like a lot of the reasons why I don't get on board with a lot of movies like this nowadays is that I don't really care about like CGI effects. It doesn't make me feel care about like CGI. Yeah, it takes you out. It doesn't make me feel like it's real. Yeah. I like how these are kind of not janky, but like more practical feeling. Like they feel like they were figuring it out.

And it looks almost like it could really be happening. Right. And also even the jankiness is like under the guise of you. It doesn't take you out of the fact that you're watching a movie. Right. You know, you're still watching a movie. But I watch Guardians of the fact that you're watching a movie. Right. You know you're still watching a movie. But I watch Guardians of the Galaxy, and I have a hard time, like,

the background doesn't matter to me. It does. There's no depth, and it feels like you can see that it's five people with fucking, like, markers on their head talking in a green room. Yes. That's like in the NeverEnding Story, what's it, the Luck Dragon?

Looks fucking insane. Right. Like an insane puppet, but I like it. I like it, too. The puppets are an insane puppet but i like it i like it too i like it's cool it feels like it could be a real thing i mean it's same is true for like the original jurassic park where those dinosaurs that are like those practical it feels like that's the real dinosaur yeah because we have never seen a real dinosaur so i could believe that that's what that is and same with this we're like these are fake creatures so yeah it looks like that and it moves like that yeah kind of stiff right like imagine if

the droid was animated like digitally instead of like a c3 yeah it would be a real bummer and it would hold up way less so in the newer ones do they keep a lot of that

like the practical stuff or do they start to become really cgi the uh the the prequels uh go like all cgi and that was part of what made them so awful oh yeah and then because Lucas

is a special effects guy and he gets in his own way because he loves computers and he loves you know he's just like shooting pod racing which you'll learn about in Phantom Menace pod racing? yeah it's like a sport that young Anakin competes in but there's so much

business going on so much shit and it looks cool but it looks like a fucking video game cut scene you know it doesn't feel the same yeah and cgi doesn't hold up because we're constantly evolving to like what's new right like cutting to luke and dac inside their uh speed their snow speeder when they're trying to take down uh yes yes yeah and it's like their sparks and they're inside it's like it looks dumb in a good way. Like, it looks like, oh, help me, you know, like, and the guy's blowing up and shit. Like, that shit cutting to the inside of the cockpit is so real and so fun. Yeah.

And rather than, like, a wide shot of them CGI'd in a cockpit or whatever, you know, what they're limited by helps the movie feel richer. Yeah. Yeah. I agree. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. What's your favorite part? what's your favorite scene in

this movie oh in this movie when i was a kid my favorite scene in this movie is when uh when darth is hiring bounty hunters to hunt han solo and skywalker and we get to meet like the five weird guys that they have there and to me that was just the coolest thing coolest thing, especially then when Tales of the Bounty Hunters, the book, came out. You learned all of those characters' names and their specifics. Like, the big robot is IG-88.

Oh. You didn't know. Like, you're watching it and you're like, I like that part. And then you basically get more backstory and research from these other things.

Or, like, eventually you'll get collectible cards or you'll hear that this guy's Bosk and he's a Trandoshan. A Trandoshan? Yeah. I know way too much. It's incredible how much you remember i know you were like filled with knowledge but like just the sheer

amount of details you remember is incredible it's because it really was like i would say at minimum a decade maybe 15 to 16 years like a huge part of my life like liking star wars watching stars i like identified as a star wars fan you know what i mean like did you ever dress up as a character for halloween or for fun time alone in your room i always wanted here's the thing i always wanted a jedi outfit specifically i really wanted the orange uh helmet you know i think we like that with the yellow glasses yeah we like that we want some yellow that's the look i We like that with the yellow glasses. Yeah, we like that. We want some yellow glasses. That's the look I want.

It's like the yellow. I also think the snow goggles and snow outfit that they wear looks cool. I love Leia's puffy vest. Very cute. Leia is so fucking hot. Like all her outfits in this movie are awesome. It's like, it's literally. She's so cute.

And then also now think about it from the toys perspective. Yeah. Now you can buy. Oh, snow, princess Leia and snow gear. Now you can buy princess Leia in her little robe. Yeah.

You got her in a robe. Now there's four Leias. There's six Luke's you can buy. You know what I mean? It's actually very pathetic how much I want merchandise from this film. By the way, it would took the, they filmed it in Norway and outside of London,

which I think is kind of cool. I was picturing all of this happening in America. So I think it's interesting. And then the first movie was shot in Africa. Yeah. Which is cool. Yes. There's the famous studios in London, which the name is escaping. Elstree Studios. Is that it? Elstree. Yeah. Oh, OK. Yeah. I thought it was something else. They shoot. They shoot a lot of stuff in the studio there. But like, right. Yeah. The first one is in Morocco or something like that. And this one's so cool fucking cool and the sets are really amazing i mean there's one point where i mean i don't i can't remember what exact part it was but certain things were opening up and showing the depth of the place that they were in and it

seemed like it was all real like built all up like that it wasn't like green screen so if it's anything it's rear projection at the time. Oh, interesting. So it's like there's just a big screen back there that's playing that. Oh, wow. It looks cool. It looks cool as hell, right? And I thought about all the people making it, and I was just very impressed, like thinking

about all the work that went into every little detail. Just like when he's like climbing in the X-Wing or they're on the outside of the Millennium Falcon, like someone built that. Yeah. Like that's so fucking cool. And I was thinking about the actors, like being in that set and how you could really get swept away by the world

because it feels so real around you. Yes. And then imagine you are Chris Pratt and Zoe Saldana and you're in a neon green room with fucking balls on your head. Yeah. I think that makes it even harder to act. Yeah.

100%. Right? Like maybe that's why some of those performances are so stilted when there's a lot of CGI. Right. And you want to know what else? Because no one cares about the actors in these movies. It isn't about how good the acting is. It's about the story.

It's about introducing a character. It's about seeing something crazy. No one's like... Well, and that's why we're appreciating these actors so much in these movies. We're like, the acting's really good. It's so good. But it's like, yeah that was kind of the point because you were on

this set with everything yeah and I mean it wasn't like Leia was cast because she is has a hot YouTube hot YouTube series or whatever

yeah it's not like oh we gotta get the favorite is she had a hot UTI that's what I thought you were saying she had a hot UTI

oh it's sizzling give this bitch some cranberry juice but no like so many things now are cast from things like that where it's sizzling. Give this bitch some cranberry juice. But no, like, so many things now are cast from things like that, where it's like, she has a million followers, and you're like, well, she fucking sucks. Yeah, we got a pop record.

I always like to joke that, like, one of the best actors, one of the best characters in the Marvel Universe is played by a wrestler, like the Batista character in Guardians of the Galaxy. He's, like, the funniest one. He's in a movie with Chris Pratt, who's arguably a comedy actor, and fucking he's not as funniest one he's in a movie with chris pratt who's arguably uh arguably a comedy actor and fucking he's not as funny as the wrestler who doesn't understand sarcasm oh dude i can get on my high horse about practical effects for special effects any day of the week

i'm really i mean i like practical i'm a huge fan of it it's so fun just to see it like even like the big worm you know when they get when they're hiding in the ashram. Oh, yeah. That was crazy. I love that. It kind of reminds me of like Beetlejuice. Yes. Yeah.

Yeah. Like the space worm from Beetlejuice. What is your favorite of the series? Is this your favorite or? No, you said the next one. The next one. Return of the Jedi is my favorite. And I think classically most people like this one because it is the darkest.

Which is funny because it was reviewed pretty people liked it and they hated it. It was very mixed reviews. I believe that because it is, if you liked A New Hope, the first Star Wars movie you're like, oh this is a fun silly romp this movie is darker for sure

than the last one. You learn that the dad is evil this, that. There was just more stakes. And there's more stakes because. That's why I liked it. It was nice. It's a better story and it's a more fully realized like standalone story like contained in this movie.

And I think Return of the Jedi, which is my favorite, I think will also be your guys' favorite. Okay. But I don't want to, that's for a little behind the scenes.

I was going to do the return of the jedi episode but now due to scheduling we're doing empire strikes back yeah return of the jedi is right like if what you like about this movie is that it's a little cuter return of the jedi is the cutest into the point where me saying i like return of the jedi the best puts me in like a bad light from star wars oh Oh, okay. I can't wait to see it because all the things I think I know about the series have happened.

Right, right. I don't know what an Ewok is. I won't look it up. No, no. I don't know any surprise. Things are happening so quickly. The things that I've thought were kind of spread over

all of the films are like being knocked out pretty fast. That's really funny you say that. We talk about this a little bit on Raised by TV where it's like you watch an episode of Seinfeld and you're like, oh, these three jokes that I know

are all in this one episode? Yeah, and you're like, holy shit, this show is dense. And that's Star Wars because when the third movie comes, you're going to be like, oh, that's what this is from? Oh, that's what this is from? And now I get this. It's one of those, you're in the weird space too where you watch something that was such

a huge pop culture, like, thing that's been parodied and referenced a million times and never watching the original. It must be wild to be like, oh, that's what that's from? I think it is weird. I was waiting for Luke to scream, no, after I'm not your father, because that's what happens in Toy Story. Yeah. It's like the third time I've referenced it yet

in Toy Story. But that's what I know that scene from. Yeah. So I was like, oh, that's from Star Wars. And I was like, ah, okay.

Yeah. There are these little moments where you're like expecting something. But that's why it was kind of funny when like the line is different than what I thought

or like, I don't know, or even Yoda's voice being accurate to how people do impressions of it. I was like, oh, okay. There were certain things I had made up in my head to be true or not true about these movies.

And so now we're learning a lot. But I mean, I was very relieved that I enjoyed parts of this one. And that I even laughed out loud. I had big reactions actually at home where I was like, what? No, that guy. You know, I was like, I was into it. So I am looking forward to the next one. I'm also looking forward to it.

I got to say, though, I think with every movie, I'm going to hate the first 20 minutes. I think so, too. They do a lot of preamble that you feel like you don't need. Yeah. I like in this movie, Darth Vader kills a lot of people from his own army. Like when he can't fight Luke, can't beat Luke. Just strangling people. He's just constantly.

And they're like, OK, well, I'll do better. I like the one dude in this who's like, I'll go tell Vader. Yeah. And everyone's like, yeah, go for it, man. We know what that means. Do people know that his head looks like a chewed up piece of gum? Yeah. I don't think a lot of people know.

Because I feel like he's putting a comment out when some guy was talking to him. He sort of has like the Robocop head where he has like a face on top and in the back it's like open and shit. Ew, is it going to be nasty? You don't see it that much. Oh, okay, good. Well, there's nothing really played for gore in this. Right. Even the gore is like cartoony, like when they cut open the Tauntaun and he's like, this thing smells even worse on the inside.

All those little intestines. Little guts. Like crystal guts. I know, they're kind of cool looking. Yeah, I like them. And it was like, that's like fucking, what's the three dog night? Wait, so he cut him open and put Lukeke inside yeah like call the wild famously i can't get inside somebody oh yes you can well yeah maybe not anybody but me i think you could squeeze inside me

i want you to wear me like a suit I would do it if it was in your will I would do it at my funeral Nicole Byer will wear my skin your family's like what is she doing I pull you out of the coffin I literally want fan art of this if somebody can draw yes please draw me wearing Gabrus as a suit

and send it to me DM's please hyper specific kink oh also i thought it was funny that they could never get the light speed to work on the millennium falcon yeah it happened twice rule of three it worked on the third time i like that that was fun it's it's such a fun simple little thing that it's like it does the millennium Falcon, the fact that it doesn't always work, adds this layer to Han where he's like, well, what do you want from me? You know what I mean?

It gives him that ne'er-do-well slacker energy that everyone wants from him. So Boba Fett has frozen Hans, so then Lando, I refuse to call him Han. I'm happy about it. I like Hans. So then Lando is driving the Millennium Falcon to go, is he going to go save?

Or they're just, it's ambiguous as to what's going to happen. It's ambiguous as to what's going to happen. But you're assuming Lando, the Vader misrepresented him. He didn't realize all this bad shit was going to happen. And then that wasn't his house everybody was at? Like that nice place where Darth ends up to take?

That is, I don't know if that's lando's house but that is where he lives yeah he lives in the cloud city there yeah that's a nice penthouse in the cloud city oh he's got i mean i liked it he's got capes and shit like he's running yeah yeah he seemed very of the moment yeah he seemed very early yeah so it's okay then he gets his hand chopped off, and he gets a new hand, which I was like, convenient that the hand looks just like his old hand. I love when they show it with the robot thing.

You're like, oh, that looks cool. And then the next shot, they just show him like, yep, okay, it's a hand. I also loved how they hid his hand being gone, because it was just the sleeve pulled up. He was holding it. Yeah, just holding it around. When he was like falling.

Practical, baby. I know. It was like I could tell that he was pulling his sleeve like taut so that his arm could be inside it. I liked it. Yeah, rather than like a fucking brushing it out in post. Yeah. I was happy that it was just being hidden. And then he adjusted so quickly to have it in one hand.

Oh, he's fine with just one. No tears. How does the movie end exactly? Let's go walk through the endings so we can get ready for what we're going to watch next. So he gets his new hand, then they go where? I can't remember what happened right after that.

Well, he's parting ways from Leia and them, right? Leia and Lando walk out of the hospital room. I love that there's like, of all the jobs to give droids, one of them is surgery on your arm. And it's like, they never show him do it because clearly the articulation was not there. It would be like, just stabbing needles into your arm. But it was a different droid, right?

Who did the surgery? Yeah, it was a medical droid. Oh, okay. But yeah, so Lando and Chewbacca, they're just on a mission in the Millennium Falcon. Yeah, they're going to do something. And then Leia and Luke

stay? Where do they go? I think I think if I had to do the work for it, I'm trying to remember exactly how it ends, but if I had to do the work for it knowing how the first one begins, they're figuring out how they're going to get hot. Yes.

Because the opening of three is... I'm hyped for you guys to see that. It's very cool. I'm excited. Yeah. Or opening four or six. Is this the end where Luke has a... No, that might be...

Well, Luke does have a vision of Obi-Wan Ben, and then he sees Vader. Because Vader was like, come. And he's like, no. No, daddy. Daddy, no. It's so funny. It's interesting how they play the evil power of the force, where it's like, they lure you over where it's strong.

And it's not until you master it that you can. It's like addiction or whatever, or like drugs. It's like, no, learn how to take them before you get hooked yeah and be like yes i fucking love heroin let me do it all the time no just take a little hit nod off chill for a little while don't teach people how to do heroin all right that's my 20 episode podcast newcomers we're doing opioids we're doing opioids that's terrible that's not funny stay off that shit it's bad very and horrible. No one should ever do that. All right.

Well, I'm excited to watch the next one. We have to launch right into it after we leave here, basically. These are the longest movies in American history. They're so long. They feel very long. Okay. That is not true. But yes, they are.

They are not short movies. They feel long. I don't think they're intended to be watched three days in a row, by the way. I know, I know. Well, that's kind of good for me, I think, because I'm like, I got to get in this world and crank it out. Can you tell us what you're working on right now? We've got a plug. Yeah, plug shit.

Obviously, this is a Raised by TVR podcast. Some of it's out of the paywall and some is behind the paywall. Right. And if you're cool with the paywall, I have a new podcast, Theino lombardo show that's behind uh it's on stitcher premium as well and that's sort of like a scripted in quotes a podcast where uh gino hosts his own drive time radio show this is the character you do this is the character the only character i can do and character of course is also in quotes. It's essentially you.

Yeah, it's essentially me, but more charged up, a little more racist, a little more everything. A little more racist, a little more everything. I've got 10 episodes, great guests. We're talking, I think I've recorded like 50 commercial parodies for it because it's like a real radio show. That's awesome. So check that out. And then if we're talking staying in the HeadGum fam, check out High and Mighty. Yeah.

Hell yeah. Both of these broads have been guests numerous times. Fuck yeah. Yes. Fuck yeah. And what's your Twitter and Instagram? I'm at Gabrus on all social media. G-A-B-R-U-S.

Tweet at me all the stupid mistakes I've made talking about Star Wars. Oh, yeah, we can't wait for the feed. Oh, yeah, I can't wait. People are going to rip us apart. They're going to be like, you came into it not wanting to see it, and you're right. That's so funny when people are like,

it's not for you, and you didn't like it. Okay, yeah, sorry. You can follow us at Lauren Lapkus and at Nicole Byer and please subscribe on Apple Podcasts and rate and review especially if you like it. Yes. And I do want to beg you

to if you're one of those people who wants to hate on us or whatever think about the fact that we are trying to like we actually we actually found a lot of things we liked about this one. Yes we did. I actually feel pretty optimistic right now. I said this the last episode. I was excited to watch this one. Then that first 15 minutes took me out.

But then I got excited again midway through because I was like, oh, this is fun. So I'm excited to see the next one. I may watch Return of the Jedi just because Empire Strikes Back juiced me up so much. That's fine. I would say if anyone out there is like mad at Lauren and Nicole for not liking it, look at yourself and think about why you give a shit if these two strangers to you care about a movie that you like that came out 40 years ago. I do love that we have not released this,

but we are preemptively putting out warnings because I know they're out there. There will be a ton of people who will be so angry that I call Hans Hans instead of Han. To me, it flows better. We have fun. We're having fun. There's going to be a lot of people who are going to not see the comedy in this at all

and see mostly two women telling them they're losers. No matter what you actually say, they're going to be like, those, I won't give it a chance. I actually feel like I already understand Star Wars fans a lot more from this experience. Like, just even hearing you and Gemberling talking about it, I'm getting more of an appreciation. I'm actually already, like, I could see myself owning some merch. I could see myself getting into this or, like, just accepting it more. Well, yeah, when you think about it as a children's movie, if you didn't watch as a child it's not as burned in the air like never ending story or dark crystal those are weird movies to watch now

they're not they don't i mean i i enjoy them i think they hold up wonderful but if you were to watch them cold like having never seen the end of labyrinth and that's crazy it's a bunch of little fraggle rock puppets jamming with a young what's her name? Oh, not David Bowie. Jennifer Connelly. Yes. And that was insane. I was like, I don't know if I could see this whole movie.

I've never seen that whole movie. I've only seen Hardship. The end is nuts. The movie doesn't even make sense. Oh, really?

If you watch all of Labyrinth, you're like, what's the plot of this? It's great. I like all these puppet movies. Yeah, I'm here for it. I'm a huge fan of

Henson. Frank Oz kills it. Yeah, he's awesome. The practical effects are awesome. I like Yoda these puppet movies. Yeah, I'm here for it. I'm a huge fan of Henson. Frank Oz kills it. Yeah, he's awesome. The practical effects are awesome. Fucking. I like Yoda's house. We love Yoda's house. I love the take on my system.

I like that I finally saw the I am your father moment. Yes. Finally, I know it. Honestly, it holds up. It's pretty dramatic. It is. The way Luke's face changes. I was like, oh, yeah, I buy that you're upset about this.

His emotional reactions in this movie were much bigger I was happy with that he matured in between the first and second movie both as an actor as a man and as a character I feel like

and he's much better in Empire than he is in A New Hope in A New Hope he is annoying he's like I'm ready to fight I'm ready to fight

I guess I'll go be a Jedi I don't have any guardians right and he's always Playing with toys Yeah and in this He's like a little bit

More of a man A little bit more Of a badass Kisses his sister You know Right of passage For everyone Hell yeah

Fucking hot You know you're a man When you kiss that sis Better be a stepsister Than it can be on Pornhub Maybe they're just half That's not even Yeah maybe they're just half

There's no blood Do they have different momsies? No blood no no foul. No, I believe they have the same mom. All right. Do we get to meet the mom? No, I don't think so. There's no other women ever.

Yeah, there's very few women in these films. All right. Well, I can't wait. Thank you so much for coming. Do you have something else you wanted to add? Yeah. Did you guys think it was cute anytime people talk to R2-D2,

like putting the words in his mouth? I thought that was like a fun mechanic when I was a kid oh well i don't know where the you think like reacting to just whistles i thought was such a funny sort of uh device i got upset because he was so dirty after he was in the water after meeting yoda and i was like can someone please give him a towel him off uh that moment when he shoots out of the x-Wing and they're like, where's R2? And he shoots out and he's like, wahoo! My friend JP, I'm going to shout him out growing up, he could do that wahoo sound so good

that we would go to his house and me and my other friends would be like, JP, do wahoo. Was that different than the part where he like touches up basically a fork to an outlet and flies back? There's good gags in this. I laughed.

I laughed. I'm glad I used this moment after the plugs and after saying goodbye to shout out R2-D2. I'm like, I feel like I need to talk about more. Let me get the fuck out of here. Do you want to say anything else? No, I've said my piece. Are you sure? Thank you.

Have me back for 10 more episodes. I mean, we could have you back. Play a card game with you. Have me back for 10 more episodes. We might. I mean, we could have you back. Play a card game with you. Yeah, let's play a card game. Oh, my God. Yeah, let's do an episode about them cards. We got to look into that. That'll be a real niche.

That'll be a real nightmare. Oh, my God. Trying to teach you to anything. Oh, yeah. I retain nothing. I'm like, what's a card? The rules will be lost instantly. Oh, what a mess. Well,

thank you so much. This was a blast. Thank you. Okay. Bye-bye. That was a HeadGum Podcast.