Newcomers: Sports, with Nicole Byer and Lauren Lapkus - The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (w/ Christine Nangle)

Episode Date: August 10, 2021

Writer and producer Christine Nangle joins Nicole and Gabrus to discuss the third film in the Fast & Furious Franchise—The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006).Follow Christine on Twitter. Like the show? Rate Newcomers 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts and let us know what franchise they should check out next.Advertise on Newcomers via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Ready. Set. Go! It's called drifting. What do you mean drift? The cars are lighter. The tires are slick.

When you drift, if you ain't out of control, you ain't in control. Still need a dictionary? On the other side of the world, on the wrong side of the law, a new style of racing rules the tokyo underground how you guys get away with this and all the best drivers want in who's the tourist let's see what the kids got and let's race but when you live on the edge

edge anything can happen you came to the wrong place now in a place where life moves this fast there's a lot of money are you moving up in the world you gotta elevate your company the bigger the risk the greater the rush stay away from them all my life people told me I don't fit in. Maybe I've just been in the wrong place. Hey, hey, hey, look what's up! Woo! Life's simple. Make choices. Don't look back. The Fast and the Furious Tokyo Drift. Yes! Wow! Just getting right into it.

It's another episode of Newcomers. Oh boy, what a treat. Okay, so Gabrus is here. He's co-hosting with me because Lauren Lapkus is a little bit preoccupied. She's got something in her home that she needs to take care of. She's got a great gig. It's a gig that's hard to book, but once you book it, it requires years of work, which is exciting.

Years and years of work. Not for me. Not for me. I mean, not for me either. I mean, boy, oh, boy, it's hard to book the person to help me book the job. Anywho, I was getting real inside. It's like, what the fuck are we talking about? Wrong podcast.

This is newcomers, not why won't you impregnate me? The Patreon of why won't you date me? Imagine, and it's just me begging people, being like, please impregnate me. It's people competing to be your IVF partner. It's like a reality show. I mean, it's getting to the point where it might have to become that. She's getting fucking

old. So this is the third episode of the fourth season. You know, we're watching the Fast and the Furious franchise. So we're doing 10 episodes. We're covering all nine movies, along with Hobbs and Shaw. Today, we are discussing a movie.

I keep forgetting you think you saw all these movies, and it makes me so excited that you watched Tokyo Drift, Fast and Furious, Tokyo Drift, the movie we're covering today, which features neither Paul Walker nor Vin Diesel. Well, Vin Diesel is in it for a hot day. Features being the hard verb there, yeah. Real quick, you can get it on DVD

if that's like your jam. Who's still bought, whatever. You get it for free on Peacock. Oh, I didn't know. Or you can buy it on Amazon. I wasted $3 on Apple. Well, actually, I bought the whole series because I was like, one of these days I'm going to watch all my favorite movies.

Turns out I don't know any of them. Now you're doing it for work. Just as fun as doing it for fun, I guess. I mean, Gabrus, do you want to introduce our guest? I would like nothing more than to introduce our guest. I mean, she's a podcasting legend. We share a fucking birthday, which is maybe one of the biggest street creds you can have.

And she's fucking from the right. She's right on Inside Amy Schumer, The President Show, and The Simpsons, SNL, Kroll Show, a lot of your favorite comedy shows, and now also your favorite comedy show, The Newcomers. We got Christine Nangle. Also famously my improv coach for a very long time. That's right.

Hell yeah. That's right. I coached little Nicole back in the Google. One of the people on your team worked for Google, right? Yeah, so we got to rehearse in the Google offices, and there were scooters and ball pits and snacks. And snacks. And it was weird because he was so nice,

the guy that would bring us there. I was the coach, but I feel like I took the most snacks because I had no money. I was so embarrassed to be like, I'm your coach, but can I have the cereal? If you ever coach improv in LA, which I think both of you graduated past, but you're at people's apartments

and you're like, yo, you guys got Oreos? You see shit in the cabinet and you're like, yo, it's hard out here for me. I'm new to this city. Can I take some of these fucking Thin Mints, baby? That makes me so happy, you going to people's homes, being like, yeah, be funnier. Can I have cookies?

Yeah. You guys kind of lost track of the game in the second beat there. so happy you going to people's homes being like gab be funnier can i have cookies yeah uh you guys kind of lost track of the game in the second beat there and yes um my laundry needs to be flipped we're gonna do a group game where we all it's a trust thing we all close our eyes we all cover our ears and then i go into the kitchen and think, what do I want? You guys forget what was in the fridge and never remember what's missing. Wait, have you guys seen Tokyo Drift before? I had not. I had not. Yes, Nicole, I have seen Tokyo Drift.

Honey, I saw Tokyo Drift in the theaters. The answer to this question from here on out will be yes. Yes, I saw it in the theater. All 10 of these movies I saw in the theater because I'm a lifelong supporter of the arts and don't frequently have things to do. When I saw that Gabrus was co-hosting for this, for Fast and the Furious, I was like,

there's no way that guy has not seen all these. And if for some reason he kind of got through life not seeing like, there's no way that guy has not seen all these. And if for some reason he kind of got through life not seeing them, there's no way he didn't already make a podcast out of watching them and talking to people about it.

I like to refer to myself as the old comer on this podcast. Actually, on all podcasts. Yeah, he's the old comer. Don't say that. It's me, the old comer. It takes a little effort, but it's still fun when it happens.

It still happens happens you still do it less frequently but that just is never mind what are we talking about here we're talking about you coming finally do you remember the audience reaction to this movie a little i remember my personal reaction what was your personal reaction very sort of like anthology movies weren't a thing yet you know what i mean there wasn't like series that you watched where it's like it's a different cast each episode that wasn't a thing so it's mad confusing but torrento coming out at the end i'm talking like the day i saw it i was mad confused and then torrento showed up at the end and I was like oh and now this is a thing we know about from Avengers and every comic book movie but this shit wasn't happening in movies previously

where there's like a random sting at the end that's like actually all these movies are connected because also it's the first that was the first time that they used the word family that I like in a real like Fast and the furious type way. They're like, yeah, he knew Han. He's said he's like family. And then that's like the lead into Vin Diesel.

Yeah. The last five minutes they said family, maybe eight times. I was like, okay, I think it's said once each movie, because like, obviously they're building on something,

but this is the movie where they tag it at the end, and then you realize they're closing the whole fucking thing in on itself. They're like, let's start saying family, everybody knows each other, and Bayer, I'm looking forward to talking you through this as we go forward. The events of this movie at the end are retconned,

which means retroactively continuity, like the changing of the continuity twice. So two times we will relitigate what actually happened to Han. Once in five, and then once again in nine. I promise you, it's crazy. Get ready. We're going to keep learning every movie something different actually happened to Han.

Just get excited. Okay. Because I feel like I I heard Han's name. No, it's fine. I feel like I've heard Han's name and I guess I just was like, oh, that must be a character I just forgot about. I don't know why I just kept telling myself I had seen the movies and just forgotten about key elements. I just, I have, I never laid eyes on this. This was about high school kids who were 45 years old. Everybody in this movie was so old.

Oh, my God. That's my major thing was like this dude. The opening scene is like slow motion going through metal detectors. And I thought that they were going to a concert or a game or something. So this dude goes in and he's just not. I mean, he's in his late 20s. And I was like, oh, he's a teacher. And then he's then it was like, so this dude goes in and he's just not, I mean, he's in his like late twenties and I was like, oh, he's a teacher. And then he's like, oh, he teaches shop class or whatever. And then he's like a student.

I was like, no shit. Yeah. Referring to Lucas Black, who plays our lead in this movie. And he's Sean Boswell. He's got a curious accent that I've truly never heard another human being have. Yeah, it's really funny to have that intense of an accent

and then also take your movie to Japan. Like, it's really funny. Like, in Japan, they're like, is this what Americans sound like? It's like, honestly, even people that went to the same high school as him don't sound like this. That's right.

I mean, it was a choice. Also his body is interesting. I mean, I don't want to body shame, but I'm not shaming. I'm just talking about facts. His arms float so far out from his torso and then his feet, he kind of walks like a duck. They're pointed, not straight ahead, but truly to the left and the right. I noticed that. Did you clock that? I noticed that.

It was really interesting. I was like, huh. I was trying to figure out, like, because there's, you know, so many of the other guys in that movie, they walk a lot of slow motion, but kind of like muscly with their like shirt cut really low. And I was trying to figure out if that was like an acting choice that he was like, I'm a teenager, so I'm going to be a little like gangly. But then I can't. I can't have been i think that's just his body yeah i think he's one of those hollywood actors from like the late 90s who's like i'm like a leading man but i am five five so i overcompensate with like stances and like shoulders and shit and like using uh you know about performance enhancements or whatever.

He's 82. He's born the same year as me, so this movie comes out in 2006. He's playing 17 when he is fucking- 24, 25 years old. He looks older than 24, 25. Yes, yes. He's a Hollywood child actor.

Weather. Oh, he's a Hollywood child actor. Weathered. Oh, he's a child actor? I don't know about child actor, but isn't he in, whatchamacallit? He was in Sling Blade. I forget what else he was in.

I thought he was in Friday Night Lights. He is in the movie Friday Night Lights as well. Who gives a fuck about Lucas Black? Does he show up in the other in the other ones because the only one of these i've ever seen is the one where uh the guy died before it and then i went to see it in the theater because i want to see how they put him into it i was like the guy died before it i was like who's the guy who died before it i think you're talking about fast seven or furious seven i believe that one was called uh yeah yes yeah i think you're talking about Fast 7 or Furious 7, I believe that one was called. Yeah, I think you saw 7.

So does this dude show up? Now, he has not shown up again in a movie until 9. Spoilers. Nicole, I look forward to getting to 9 with you in six weeks because 9 features almost everyone

will have seen in all these movies. Nine is like Connection Island third beat of a Harold Knight. They're just like, guess who also is here? They're like, and they're doing time jumps, so they're back in the past and establishing young versions of characters we love. You'll see.

Wait, young versions? Are they like CGI-ing them younger? I'll see it. And also, short answer, yes. I can't wait. Wait till you see young Vince. Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

Oh, Vince is in it? Of course, young Vince. All right, let's get to Fast 3. Tokyo Drift. Fast and the Furious 3, colon, Tokyo Drift. Nangle, thank you so much for diving in here in the first of the movies that feature neither of the two guys that made the first movie popular. I was so mad.

I was so mad. Imagine a third Wayne's World with just like David Spade and Tim Meadows. You're like, love these guys, but why is this called Wayne's World? Just call this movie Tokyo Drift. I mean, truly, it didn't need to be The Fast and the Furious Tokyo Drift. It was written by Chris Morgan, who I think just typed into his computer

and said, I have a movie, and didn't reread it, or ask people if this made sense. He ended up becoming a big architect later on he he's like still part of the fast family chris morgan oh and then it's also while we're on this topic it's directed by justin lin who's hot off better luck tomorrow that mtv films cool asian dude movie from when we were in high school or i was in high school i'm still spent the last 10 years of my life pretending i have no idea how old you two are when i when i was in high school when you guys were in junior high

their uh movie came out called better luck tomorrow that was kind of justin linds and sung kang who plays han and a couple of the other actors from this movie were also in it and so i think tokyo drift is his like you got this great sundance movie let's give you a big budget movie and then he puts han in it who ends up being this like important beautiful heart of the rest of the movies as you'll learn he's like one he's like a fan favorite character and as you can see in this movie he doesn't do much in this movie and this is his biggest role he does nothing in this movie. And this is his biggest role in all the films. He does nothing in this movie.

Yes. And it's his biggest role. And he's everyone's favorite. He literally eats snacks like he just pops chips and corn nuts in his mouth in every movie that he's in. It's his thing. And I'm here for it. He's just a handsome, nice flavor. He's so hot.

Everybody in this movie was pretty hot. It was honestly delightful. Han was hot. pretty hot it was honestly delightful han was hot takashi was hot nila was hot but also i was like worried about her i was like is she okay nila stresses me out watching i mean she's only the third or fourth women woman we see offer herself as a prize amongst men competing but her whole vibe is like when i came here from australia everyone hated me and now the mafia likes me and you're like wait hon you can do better than this yeah you can just have nice girlfriends you don't have to hang out with the mob there's only two ways to do it no friends or mob bitch or mob teen i'm sorry mob teen she's a mob teen all right they all are they're all mob teens

literally committing murder to each other and they're all in high school in this killing each other with no repercut like nobody gives a shit the cops even just go we don't if they go too fast we don't go after them which I thought was fully insane what a great setup for this movie it's like once you hit 140 for this movie. It's like, once you hit 140, no one bothers you. It's like, might as well just turn to the camera and go,

so we can just drive like assholes for the whole movie and no one will bother us. And it's like, yeah, you got it. 40 minutes left. Keep laughing, Han. Or that happened afterwards.

They made the movie and then someone was like, why didn't they get pulled over by the cops? And they're like, all right, give us two days. And then they'll film that. They pick up that one scene and it unlocks the whole film for them. I don't know if Justin Lin meant to do this,

but it might have been the funniest thing I've ever seen. So when they're drifting, Neela is explaining this like sad story. And like the car is just drifting around. And they're like kind of and like the car is just drifting around and they're like like kind of sliding in the car and she's like yeah i'm so sad like dirty dancing is such a weird energy that's exactly what it was like falling like falling in love while smoking their fucking transmission and he kind of loses his mind

because she says something like you know when you're driving everything else disappears and he looks at her like she's the only person that gets me even though their entire world is all people who only want to drive he's only been friends with drivers the only other person we've seen him interact with which we should talk about that opening scene

the thing I remember most about this movie is the older brother from home improvement racing uh lucas black through a fucking like a pre-estab like a neighborhood that is being built i had not seen that before in a movie and it was so fucking fun in this movie it was so wild because they were like we're gonna race and then somebody opens a door to a construction site and they're like, that's where we're racing! And I was like, this is so convenient! What if it wasn't being built?

What if it was being torn down? What if it was a suburban development that they were removing? Well, then he shouldn't have gotten in any trouble. He just helped speed through the process for free. Before we get into the actual plot we have to do the toretto gazzetto oh right let's do a little toretto gazzetto where we hit you with some fast and the furious franchise news trying to keep this

podcast topical yes zoom zoom zoom after impressive box office run f9 i can't believe the movie is called f9 yeah it's just a button on a keyboard it's like the sequel to shift that really got me the sequel to shift well okay so now it's available on uh to rent and vod services it earned 620 million dollars in theaters worldwide jesus christ that's so much money yeah and it only premiered in june june uh in june yeah june 25th it was like the first post pandemic movie uh you know so i feel like it had a little juice and it had a lot of people coming out but also a beloved franchise that makes millions of dollars with every movie. So it makes sense. And Fast 9 was fun as fuck.

I can't wait to get to it. I've been saving it. I was going to go see it, but then I was like, well, got to watch it anyway for a little pocket. Yes. That would be so fun that the first time you watch it is for this. Wait, Nicole, are you watching them in order? Yes.

So, okay, Christine, this is what happened. I, for years, said, I love Fast and the Furious. I've seen all the movies. They're my favorite. They're all my friends. And then watched the first one, was like, yeah, my friends reunited. I watched the second one. I was like, I've never laid eyes on this. And then I was like, wait, I think I gaslit myself. I think I skipped from the first one to the seventh one and was just like, yeah, all the people I don't remember, whatever.

But they're all my friends. During the first episode, we were like talking about it. I'm like, and the second one doesn't even have Vin Diesel. You're like, it doesn't? And I'm like, have you ever seen these movies? And you were like, I've been lying to myself for a decade. I haven't seen any of this shit. They're all so different.

But I've seen Hobbs and Shaw. Listen, you know, she's all over the place. But, okay, so this opening scene, I fucking love it. Because the kid from Home Improvement's girlfriend is like, whoever wins gets me. And I'm like, you fucking slut. What do you mean? I appreciate that the movie gives the woman the agency

to offer herself up as the object of prize and not just the guys deciding it without her but this is still not the feminist moment we're thinking it is where she's like and the prize goes I'll be like if I'm her boyfriend or even the other guy I'm going okay I'll raise him but I don't that's not the way I want to go on a date with a chick is winning her like the claw machine and then later when when home improvement isn't going fast enough or whatever she says I thought you loved

me I thought you said you loved me that was so funny I thought you loved me I watched this with my friend and then my friend's daughter's friend and we were like Ava you can't act like that girl like don't do what she does that's not how people act she's like 12 act like that girl that's not how people act she's like 12 and it's like that's not how

hot adults act that's no that's just a fantasy I looked this up because I was curious like because when I think of these movies I also think there are adult men directing these and lighting them and like micing up these girls and putting on the makeup and everything

300 adult men off camera in every one of these shots. It's insane. And so I was like just looking up on IMDb and the girl who says that is older. She's two years, no, she's four years older than the guy that plays Sean. So she's like 30 in this movie.

She's like 28 or 30. She's 30 28 or 30. She's 30 playing a high school senior. Because I was like, oh my God, this like teenage girl. Maybe they were just like, well, we can't have minors giving their bodies up to men. So we got to make sure she's very old. Hey, the movie's not that creepy. All the chicks offering up their bodies to the winner of car races are 27.

Okay. Good work, guys. I mean, we've said it before, but that's as sexual as this movie really got. These movies are not sexy in any way. I was very happy to unpack this series with you, Bayer, from that perspective alone, because it's so PG-13 sexual. It's so blockbuster movie sexual where it's like

ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba! You see buttcheeks walking in to a Caribbean beat, and then it's like, and that's what sex is in this movie. And that's all you get. I feel like it's more sexual with like the relationship

with the cars absolutely yeah they're filmed like the shots are the same like the way they film the women and they pan across the women is the exact same way that they reveal the cars and the guys like leaning on the cars and like the way that like men walk with like two girls on their arms is like they're standing in between two cars. It's like this movie might as well be cars riding women through the streets. Eliminate the middle man. Let's just watch chicks in cars.

The car is like, let's race our women. The winner gets me. Is the car the prize or the competitor? Both. Who's the judge? A woman. Also the prize. Okay, please unpack this for me so okay so what's his name his name's sean so sean flips clay's dodge viper over which is a very expensive car he told also he may have he easily could have killed two high school kids and everyone's

just watching it via their flip phones and so many shots of flip phones filming something and i was like damn there's two years where this happens in movies and we're watching one of them uh-huh and it's so funny to me because i'm like yeah we do record a lot on our phones but it looks so stupid with a flip phone yeah we do it even more now. And it looked that dumb back then. And we've only picked it up bigger as a habit. I loved his mom, who was like maybe a month older than him. Right. Who was wearing this like, she was dressed like it was like, this lady lives in a trailer park and she's trash.

And she's like, he just keeps getting in trouble. What do we have to do? And they're like, keep him off the streets. So she sends him to tokyo because he's in the navy because his dad his dad her the baby daddy is in the navy and in tokyo and i'm maybe stupid is the u.s navy in tokyo the u.s navy could be a lot of places which is kind of a bad thing about america there's a base there well yeah we have bases in a lot of places, which is kind of a bad thing about America. There's a base there. Yeah, we have bases in a lot of other countries and even under the guise of allies.

There's no mention of Tokyo. Like he doesn't have a Tokyo thing in his room or like he doesn't miss his dad. It's just like he comes so out of nowhere. And the thing about his mom is, I might've been projecting this, but it seemed like she was kind of flirting with the cop a little bit. And he like he like rolls his eyes when he sees that.

But I'm like, dude, you were just about to take a girl as a prize for a car race. But you're mad at your mom for flirting with a cop. Wait, you're onto something. So maybe the mom is maybe she's a sex worker because later we see the dad with a sex worker oh good yeah i feel like i feel like they're hinting at that the mom at least has like a rough go with men and but she is cute and charming and will use her feminine wiles to help her son the crazy thing for me is when they reveal it's like this is the fifth town we've had to leave and it's like i think you send this motherfucker to tokyo on the second town i think you go hey kevin or whatever the fuck your name

is fucking around with your car in tokyo your son is coming now not like on the fifth high school we try well he killed another two high school he paralyzed two more high school kids he better go to fucking tokyo and spend his time with you but i was like why is that an option why didn't he go to jail why didn't he go to like why wasn't he tried as an adult he flipped a car and almost murdered a child something that happens in all these movies too is people agree to these insane races but they edit out the part where anyone would articulate what exactly is supposed to happen because you would be like hey and no cutting through back alleys and driving

through houses it's like yeah you never said that and it's like later on when they're doing the fucking parking garage race it's like oh how does he know exactly. Exactly where to go. Yeah. Oh, it's nuts. So Sean gets to Tokyo and he befriends Twinkie played by Little Bow Wow, which is so funny. He arrives in Japan and meets- Bow Wow.

And he meets a local native played by Shad Moss. Lil Bow Wow. Lil Bow Wow. Shad Moss is Twinkie. That's the dumbest sentence I've ever heard. It's just- He's good though. He's the dumbest sentence I've ever heard. It's just a bunch of work.

He's good, though. He's got so much more charisma than the lead character. Yes, he does. He brings such a relief. I mean, him and Han entering this movie, and even the bad guys, they bring so much energy, and you're like, oh, God bless, and you're like, oh, it's because Sean is bringing,

he's bringing less energy than Vin Diesel, which is a race to the fucking bottom. And that's I mean, he must have watched the movies and be like, the trick is to not move or have energy. To just give the deadest line reads. Just be the just be like because I felt like especially with the beginning scene in the high school or the home improvement kid, he was great. I thought as like a teen bully. Yeah. with the beginning scene in the high school or as a home improvement kid he was great i thought as like a teen bully yeah um but it it kind of just was like a like a 13 year old boy's brain was writing this movie which is like i'm the outsider he's mean he's big he has the girl but the girl likes me and wants me and i'm gonna race my car but i'm poor and he's rich and that's he's gonna have all the breaks and i'm not gonna have any like, it's kind of like a little bit of like an incel type world,

but it's kind of, it's so literal. It's such like a literal thing of like, and the girl secretly likes me, even though she's with him. Yeah. She likes me because I'm a cowboy and no other reason. It's like the most written by the dorkiest American man.

There's no reason. I could show up to Tokyo and make any gaijin fall in love with me because of my cocky stature. It's like, really? Okay. No, it's because you're the only white guy there and they're fetishized. And then, of course, the love interest, they can't even make her Japanese. I thought that was really strange. That was so weird to me.

I was like, why isn't she just Japanese? Why are there so many outsiders here? It should just be just him. Just him. Yes, that would make a stronger story, of course. Or another outsider and them to connect, but they don't even get the real connection chance because it's already the fifth beat.

When they finally go like, hey, we're both outsiders, they've already, like, almost kissed and gotten almost killed three times it's like no one cares that much and also it's a third movie of a trilogy but it is the first time we're seeing this guy we do not give a fuck about his love life no like if you're coming to fast three you're like if it's not brian and george it's not if it's not Brian and Mila, if it's not fucking Paul Walker and Jordana Brewster, you don't need to create love for me. I'm here to see a Fast and the Furious movie. And I feel like they cast Mila because she kind of looks like Jordana Brewster or Michelle Rodriguez.

Yeah, Michelle. Exactly. So they're just like, or yeah, or Eva Mendes. Like, they were just like, eh, she kind of looks like them this is good you like this they're like we figured out the formula it's like a white handsome guy who can't act with like a person of color who can act and we jam them together in a movie and this one will do asian and we tried black and we tried fin diesel so now we'll try asian and it's like we'll shake it they'll figure it out event the fourth movie the fourth movie is like they're just like it's like a native and they're going like as we're like this will work

and it's like does twinkie ever come back in the movies he never comes back until much like much like lucas black he doesn't come back till episode nine baby this is so funny when he showed up when he showed up i was like oh little bow was in this and i was looking at imdb i was like oh shad moss oh my god i'm fucking racist like i thought that was little bow wow oh fuck oh god he looks so much like little bow no and i'm sitting here by myself watching it like all right well no one can fault me for thinking he looks like little bow wow he does look like little bow wow but who the fuck is Shad Moth and I looked and in the thing

whatever I was reading his bio it doesn't say little bow wow for a while and it doesn't have any quotes it's not bolded it's not underlined but I thought he was one of the best parts of the movie he's very charismatic and then he has the wildest car I've ever seen in my whole life. Yeah.

He's got like the Hulk truck that has like paw prints on the walls. Like a footprints and like, like a fists. It's so nuts. And then in Japan, I like, that was a fun little. The garage thing. Yeah. I was like, I want that. That's fun.

That was some like Jay Leno probably has that shit. Hey, look at this. My garage spins cars around. Hand crank. It would be cool to have that on a hand crank. I would never get my car if I had to use manual labor to get it. Well, I don't have a car anymore. It would be sick to have one of those things.

So you can have like one dead, like a dud corny car in case someone was coming up to like rob you. And then like the vibe is off and you're like, oh, here's my minivan. And then if the vibe is right, you just push it for a little bit further and you're fucking amazing Mitsubishi Lancer or whatever comes out. Your brain works in an amazing way. You hit a bump, they're getting laid. You know, movies have ruined my brain where it's like, all right, you race in to save a chick that you're in love with or else

the mob is going to cut her head off in front of you because you're new. Why'd you kill him? He was new. Like if you're the mob, by the end of this movie, if you're Takashi, you're like, wait, uncle,

why are you making this deal? It's so insane. It makes zero sense when he's like, we're going to race. And he's like, good idea. And you're like, wait,

what? But this first race in the garage. Right. Is so nuts. This is where we learn what the drift is. Yeah. But I was like, I've never been in a garage where it's this empty.

Nobody's shopping. Nobody's utilizing this garage. Why would you utilize this garage, people? What if they were doing this during COVID times where people were eating tables were set up in parking garages? Luca Di Peppo in the parking

garage. Fucking car. Fisho in the parking garage. Fucking car. Fish tails and texture. I'd be so upset. Fucking chicken parmoy. Enjoying my spaghetti and meatballs and someone just slams into me. But for whatever reason, Han gives Sean his car.

Yeah. And it's never explained. It's not. And Sean fucks this car up. Wait, let's unpack a little bit i think you're like buyer you're at something interesting here they try to articulate it later on in the movie this is something i didn't remember watching this movie and the way they articulate it later he's like i looked at you and i knew you were like a good person it's like yes why we we the audience don't even know you because and also also, he didn't even, to use a

screenwriting term, save the cat. That boy was getting bullied earlier. And he looked at him and you thought, okay, this guy's going to help this kid who's getting his belly spray painted or whatever. And then he turned and walked away. So they didn't set him up as a good person who sticks up for other people.

But Han knew. Yeah, somehow Han knew. Han knew. Yeah, somehow Han knew. And it was so strange. He's like waiting for him outside of high school. Imagine being like any level of 20-something and you're like, all right, you're a gangster now. It's like, cool, what do you do?

Well, if you want to hang outside the high school and pick up this senior who we want to add to our crew, imagine, like that's what this movie is missing is when they're driving away that kid just going wait you want me to go in i'm a 16 year old american you want me to go into a japanese bathhouse and drag out a fucking sumo wrestler i mean that made me laugh so hard that and so takashi is known as dk the drift king and i can't remember who said it but they were like donkey kong oh yeah sean but why would it be english uh acronym yeah why is he dk yeah that i mean yes christina the logic yes the dairy king now isn't it funny that drifting like it's it's not drifting isn't driving fast or something

It is something that just looks cool So the fact that it's integral to racing in this race is very funny Like if you don't learn that It's like, well it is just driving in a circle Really, you don't have to drift It's like hitting your brakes before a curve And just like almost stopping. But then like I guess you have to hit your clutch and then like shift back into second.

But like it doesn't seem like it's just hitting a curve. Are there judges like in gymnastics where you're watching and making sure there's like you're doing enough drifting? Bad curve. Bad drift. Real quick. We have to take a break. Okay, and we're back. Drifting is like using the L and R buttons in Mario Kart, right?

It's kind of like a way to skid out further. It's just like leaning on the right button. And I like that they treat drifting in this movie like martial arts or like Jedi. Like once it's happening, it looks real. When it slows down and women are

into it, like women are like, whoa, he pulled his e-brake and skidded around us in the room. Give him your number, Gladys. Gladys. There's something about like, I just like the, where I grew up, I just can't relate to this culture at all.

Like nobody had cars. Like we, we didn't like, you couldn't, you didn't drive to high school. You took the bus. Like you weren't allowed. We didn't even have any outdoor you didn't drive to high school you took the bus like you weren't allowed we didn't even have any outdoor space that we were allowed to hang out really like even as a senior you had to take the fucking bus well you had well the alternative was you had to be able to afford a car and then there was like a very small parking lot and also the neighborhood i went to school was okay really bad But yeah, but like you didn't, I didn't get my driver's license until I was 21

because couldn't afford the insurance, but also just like, I didn't need it. Like we had, all the transportation was really good. But around where I live now, I live in West Adams. There's so much drag racing at night and it makes me so crazy. It's so loud. The calls out there winning pink slips

every fucking Friday and Saturday night. Yeah, 36 fucking cars in my driveway stacked right on top of another. Handing them out to people like they're fucking podcast swag. You get a car. You get a car. You get a car. Wait. I want to come to your neighborhood and go to, let's go to a drag race.

Well, it's kind of like, it just happens. Like if it's either fireworks or drag racing and it doesn't make any sense. There's a guy who has this car and he's always cleaning it. I don't think he has a job, but he has a Marine, like US Marines sticker. And he's like in his fifties. And I always like say hi to him when I'm walking the dog or whatever. And he just kind of seems like a sad kind of guy to me. So I'm like, oh, this car is all he has.

And he's always cleaning it. And I'm always saying, ah, you're making me feel bad about my car. You know, nice little friendship. And then I realized he's one of the guys that's doing it. It is so loud. It is the loudest car. I think, like, I don't believe in the death penalty except for people who make their vehicles louder on purpose.

What kind of car is it? Do you know? No, it's you know no it's yellow so it's a taxi it's low and yellow it's crazy taxi what a nightmare uh wait so back to this this opening mall race the race that gets han and our main character connected and gets Takashi mad. And we meet the love interest, Via. Wouldn't you feel insane if you didn't know anyone and you smashed a car? The fact that he fishtails into something. If that happened to me, I would get out of the car and be like, oh, my God.

I am. I cannot believe I'm acting like that. He takes five more fucking rounds. He's like, well, this is car culture where I'm from. It's like, brother, you're borrowing someone's car. You just lose the race. You can't just smash it up

and lose. The first time, I absolutely would be like, I'm so sorry. I thought I could do it. I can't. What the fuck was I thinking on here is your keys? But he also almost kills people. Like, he slides. Like, people are running away from him. And truly, every time almost kills people like he slides like people are running away from him and truly every time he hits something he's like oh boy oh geez whoa no oh babe oh boy oh no and it's fully this scene is insane but uh takashi he like he gets up there, he drifts up a ramp,

and then Sean scratches the whole car up the ramp. It's truly insane. But when you're watching it, you think, I think Sean's going to get better at this. I think he's going to get it. If Han takes him to the dock and really works with him on drifting, someday he'll be able to come back and win his the girlfriend of the mobster's nephew out from underneath him yeah that's the stakes of this film got it yeah the

strangest stakes in the in the world so sean leaves so he lives in a closet in his dad's house like harry potter moves out of the closet and then moves in with han han teaches him how to drift as like everyone else at the garage it's not even a garage i don't it's like a warehouse they like all sit around and he's like it's like a crime den slash uh mechanic shop slash something i don't know with like women girls for who are attracted to uh mechanic things it's really confusing i have no idea it's so strange um and then uh yeah so then he takes him to that fucking place you like the the big man throws him out. This confused me. So he sent him to a bathhouse to say something to that big fat man with a bad tattoo. The man throws him out, but then pays Han.

Yeah. This is one of those classic like, hey, you got to go collect money from Pa. And then he's like, okay, will do. I'm new to the job. And it's like, this is going to be pretty funny. Me and Pa kind of fuck with new guys this way. It makes no sense. The fact that they cut to him inside trading in all his clothes for a towel, which makes sense in that culture, but makes no sense for him to do that for the first time.

And then when he gets thrown out, for him to be in his street clothes, in so much of his clothing, I'm like fighting him, putting his dress pants back on his school uniform. He's taking. So according to the way, the logic of this movie, what we don't see inside is a high school kid. Say to a giant sumo wrestler guy.

Hey, asshole, you owe Han money. And this guy go, fuck you, kid. And then forcefully dress him back into his own dress clothes pull his towel off put his underwear and pants on put his shirt on

and then throw a high school boy into the street i'm just saying i mean that's what happens in that sequence i they should have filmed it that's so funny because that's exactly what would have happened because he is fully dressed when he gets thrown out. He's doing that thing you do with a toddler where he's pulling his pants up and he has to jump. Yeah, he's throwing him into it. He's yoking him up over his arms. He's like, let's go, you little freak. Give me your arm.

Give me your arm. He throws him out twice and then throws Han some money. And we're supposed to be like, they're bonding. It's like that money is for child sex trafficking. It's like we're buddies now. So then Sean asked Neela out on a date. And then Takashi gets mad at him. And then Neela moves in with Han and Sean after breaking up with Takashi gets mad at him. And then Nila moves in with Han and Sean after breaking up with Takashi.

And I was like, how does Han have all of this space? It's crazy that there's a Dawson's Creek level high school drama happening on top of this Japanese Yakuza car racing. Yeah, it's really, really. I have to live with you. Fine. Don't tell Pacey. What the fuck is going on? So I did a bunch with you. Fine. Don't tell Pacey. It's like, what the fuck is going on?

So I did a bunch of fast forwarding. Is it ever explained? Fast and furious forwarding? Even though clearly this movie was meant for me, a feminist comedy writer. But like what? Of indeterminate age. Is there something involved like drugs or gun running or drugs or anything like what is the what why is the why is that why okay so now this is kind of from a globe from a looking at all 10 movies standpoint this is the first time we see the crimes not really being explained because

our heroes are technically criminals like like we're watching Han and Sean, we're supposed to be on their side. So if they find out that they're giving, like if the premise of the movie is like, and then we give the heroin to the children, like they can't like, because we're supposed to be rooting for them. And then later on in the movies,

it's like repackaged that they're like working for the American government or CIA or doing something heroic every time. But in this, so they do that thing where they're like working for the American government or CIA or doing something heroic every time. But in this, so they do that thing where they're like, they're vaguely in crime so that you hope it's like catalytic converters and not like getting kids hooked on meth as babies or whatever. I'll tell you what is getting people addicted to gasoline and that addiction. You know what I'm saying?

Hey, yes, you should. We should what I'm saying? Hey, yes. You should. We should have said speed. The drug is speed. Exxon Val. Exxon executives fucking love the Fast and Furious franchise. Vin Diesel is a Amco plant

sent down. Honestly, it just occurred to me how perfect it is that a man named Vin Diesel is in car movies. I cannot believe it took me this long. Literally, his last name is Diesel, a type of gas, and his first name is the acronym for vehicle identification number. And the person that died, his last name was Walker.

Oh, no. He didn't belong. Who got me, Christine? That was very funny. He didn't belong. Sorry. Who got me, Christine? That was very funny. He didn't belong. So then we get to meet Takashi's uncle, Kamata? Kamata. He's played by Sonny Chiba, who's like a Japanese acting legend.

He's so good. He's incredible. We get to see him in this white ensemble. And I don't think I've smiled harder or been happier to see a person on my television. He is great. He is incredible. He doesn't really explain anything well, except that Han has been stealing from them. But stealing what?

We don't know. Maybe money. He's been taking a higher percentage than he's supposed to. He's leaving stuff out of the books. Classic movie shit of just like, hey, something we've never mentioned before is actually different than we thought it was. It affects the plot of the movie, but don't worry about what it was before or what it is now.

Just be concerned that things are different now. I like that the stakes are- Got it. I'm an audience member. The stakes are accounting. Do you know what I mean? Like, that's not cool. Well, because it can't be.

It can't. Han can't do anything too bad because we want to love him. And if it's like, well, he's a criminal, he should die in a fiery car wreck or whatever. So Takashi cries. He's like really upset that like he did bad and i was like i mean i think you're taking this too hard also you're like in the mob so like be be a badass but whatever he like confronts uh han sean and nila about the thefts and then they flee with twinkie who causes a distraction. And then. Oh, this is fun.

Let's talk about that escape because that's really fun. Twinkie is like sneaks off. And what he does is shut the garage doors, a.k.a. trap the bad guys in with them. Yes. But it does land on one car. But everyone is also able to get into their cars. And then this is our Tokyo street race.

Yes. Where they drift through a crowd of people where they should have killed and i don't even think he was like on his horn i think he was truly just like move move and i was like nobody sees you nobody sees you doing that and the amount of eye contact drivers in these movies can make with somebody else while doing going 110 like I mean I know we're shooting a film so we gotta see their eyes what they're doing but it's

Nicole you're more of a driver and obviously Nangle just recently was able to purchase a car for the first time congratulations for the very first time I just got my driver's license three years ago. Oh my goodness.

But Bayer, you're a car driver. How many gears can you actually go up? Because it always feels like, wait, they had another gear to it? Yeah, it does. How fast are you going in first? I think it's only six. There's first, second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth. Yeah, I think there's only's i think this is the highest you

can go and then it's like they're always doing one more to like cut each other off but i will say this if you slow down you do have to downshift ah so they're doing a lot of downshifting on the drifts and then popping it back in on the undrift i like actually think so yes i think that's what it would be should we should we post an instagram story of the two of us in my Volkswagen station wagon doing drifts in the beach parking lot? I honestly think we should. I think we should. Head gum? Can you cover the insurance?

The winner gets me. Me and Nicole just flip both our cars and Dangle's like, wait, how do I even get home from this drag race? I should have packed another change of clothes. I want a drag race. You can't really drag race in an automatic.

It's just stamping the fucking gas. If it's a straight line. That's not fun. I wonder do people do it if anybody in the neighborhood if you did let us know if people can drag race in an automatic i hope so because then people in the neighborhood can sleep because it's not as fucking loud as regular drag racing let's do only electric drag racing at night so it's just free is this it's weird though like it i always assumed i remember when this movie came out i assumed it Yes, just free as this.

It's weird, though. I always assumed, I remember when this movie came out, I assumed it took place in the snow. Like, I thought it had something to do with snow. So I was very surprised. Oh, yeah. Also, I always think about the little Japanese snow monkeys that, like, sit in the little spas, like the little hot tubs.

You know what I'm talking about? I have no idea. I don't know exactly what you're talking about. Wait, Japanese snow monkeys? Yeah. Japanese? Look it up. That's nice.

Look it up. It's worth it. They sit in like little hot springs, and then they look so relaxed and cute. And the first thing I did when the tsunami happened was I looked up, are the Japanese snow monkeys okay? And it auto-filled. Like so many people were googling other people had that concern as well that's really funny wait they're adorable

so and they have been in this movie like something but then i was just thinking like drift also made me think like this should have been about cocaine or something like drugs in some way or maybe it wasn't it might have been about drugs we just don't know and the only stakes were like not getting in trouble from your mom and dad and somehow also not pissing off your uncle well what if what if this movie was like you know when like they released clue and they changed the endings yeah what if this movie is like, whenever you went to see it, they changed what the business was or what country it was in. It was like,

what are they the mob? They're the mob about what? I watch it at the Belmore Playhouse on Long Island, so it's about Italian ices and it's like 80 yards in. It's like, Hans! Get the Italian ices. Get the water ice. Water ice, yes.

Thank you. I was about to correct you. You guys call it water ice in Pennsylvania? In Philadelphia area. Yeah, it's called water ice. It makes no sense. But isn't that just like an icy with like the shaved ice and the syrup? Isn't that water ice?

Icy, slurpy. It's called a lot of things, but Italians call it Italian ice. I call it Italian ice. Yeah, Italian ice makes the most sense. Water ice doesn't make any sense. There's a place here, Gabriel, that we're all East Coast people. It's called Happy Ice,

and it's like genuine East Coast Italian ice, and it's good. Oh, shit. I have like five Italian ice places in my hometown, and there's no way that they should all be sustainable through the winter and through covid it's like they're clearly fronts for other things it's like how is there ralph's luigi's and mario's in this all within a mile and a half of each other and they've been open for 40 years unbroken it's like every christmas it's open they have the same uncle so funny wait so at the end of this big tentpole fucking race there's like well i guess

the last race is also pretty big but like han tries to hold takashi off also takashi's friend whose name i can't pronounce more Morimoto, he gets murdered. He's killed in the crash. And then fucking Han gets T-boned. And then his car fucking flips over more times than I've ever seen a car flip. And then it lands upside down. And then Sean's like, I'll go get my friend. And then it explodes.

Yes, it does. I did not see that coming. I thought Han was important to the story. And I've heard his name before. So I was like, surely he'll get out. And then he doesn't. If you watch this movie without the context of other movies, it's brutal that they introduce and kill Han in this movie. Because he's so much more magnetic than the leads of the movie before

he's introduced and you're like I don't give a fuck about anyone Sung Kang comes on camera and you go I give a fuck about this guy and then they kill him they just kill him right off and imagine like he should have been the I looked him up he was born in like

Georgia or something like imagine the movie was he was the American who got sent back to Tokyo to be with his dad. See, that would be nice. But you have to remember that movie executives are like, he can't be Asian if he's from America. Nobody will get it. He can't be the lead if he's Asian also. If we're talking early 2000s Hollywood. Guys, I know this. I'm just

hoping for a better past. Well, something that makes this thrilling to give you a little flavor and get you excited, because of the fuzzy timelines, the movies 5 and 6 actually take place before this. What? So that when we watch 5 and 6,

there's a sequence later on where where the hans girlfriend goes where do you want to go after this and he goes tokyo but not yet because we all know he dies in tokyo which also later on becomes untrue. Buckle the fuck up for the next several episodes, fam. Yes, I cannot wait for you to learn. I will off mic break it down for both of you guys, but I think I'll break it down for Nango

because I think I'd rather the audience would love for you to experience it unfolding. Wait, so five and six happened before three. And I'm not even sure about four. Four is the one I'm the least versed in. When we go to watch four next week, will be only the second or third time

I've ever seen it. Wow. Because that's the worst spelling thing. Like five before six, except after three. This is, please excuse my dear Aunt Sally of the Best and Furious franchise. I do remember,

like now that you're saying this, I recall when I saw this, I guess seven, I remember them saying he knew Han and that being enough for something. Yeah, I've heard Han's name. I've heard it a bunch. I just thought it was a character that I forgot about.

Instead, it's a character I never knew about. Let's like have a little side part of this show called the Han tracker, where we just track what is actually how Han's storyline keeps changing to keep this surprisingly amazing like I feel like they were like oh it'd be fun to have this guy for the movie and then everyone's like he actually is the best actor we've ever put in the series he is a really good actor he does a lot with a little that's why I think he gets all

these retcons because it is if you're putting putting Tyrese in the next couple of movies, when they bring Tyrese, Paul, everyone back together, it's like, this could actually use Han. They're like, all right.

Yeah, exactly. Is he all burned up in nine? Is he all like scarred and burned? No, no, no, no,

not, you'll, you'll find out what happens. Oh boy. It's so fun that it just changes like so frequently i like watching i like can't believe that they what they pulled off with this it's like comic book level but with four allegedly just people who drive cars i can't wait to get to it i I just can't believe that the timeline jumps through. They really did whatever the fuck they wanted with these movies, and people were like, yes, I will still watch this.

It's crazy. They did a third movie where none of the stars of the first two were in it, and people were like, yeah, sure, I'll still go see it. Crazier than that is that America went and saw this movie and then they got a fourth. Like, it's like, oh, honestly, it's just the phrase Fast and Furious that people seem to like. It's like, yeah, maybe. There's also movies I knew just because I was searching to find this on Apple TV or whatever called Fast and Fierce. There's like a whole series of movies called that, which feels like it's like Marshmallow Mateys

instead. Yeah, it's like the bargain cereal. There's like a whole production company called Asylum Films who make like transmorphers that come out and it's like at the same time as Transformers, they're like, hopefully you just Google wrong or like hopefully

you're a mom who's like or a deadbeat dad who's just like, yeah, I got you a Pokemon. No, I want a Pokemon. It's like, well, watch Pokemon. It's fucked up and twisted. We could have been watching it because the stars didn't show up. It's like, honey, did we accidentally go into Fast and Furious? it's like it's like how uh one of the lead singer of of the band journey is a is formerly the cover is like a filipino guy who's formerly in a famous cover band of journey or something

like that is it like that yeah and i it's one it's a lot like that i don't know i think i know one journey song and i think it's the one where they ask you to stop believing? Yes, they ask you to actually never or don't stop believing. Please stop believing in everything. Become a fucking nihilist. Please stop. At least they're polite about it.

Please stop believing. It's really funny. I couldn't remember how it went. Just in general. Please stop believing me.'s really funny. I couldn't remember how it went. Just in general. Please stop believing me. Just in stuff in general. Real quick, we have to take another break. We back.

But after Han dies, Takashi literally just drives away, doesn't care that his friend is dead. Sean and Neela go back to his dad's house. His dad saves his life with a fucking gun. And that's the first time guns come out, right? Is this the first time we see guns in this movie? Yes. I think so. I think they have some guns in the warehouse, but they're not using them on anyone. But they are

kind of intimidating people with them. But luckily, Twink, Twinkie, did they accidentally stumble upon a slang word that would become wildly popular and mean something completely different by accident in this movie. Yes. So, yeah, Sean's dad saves them.

They have like a standoff. And then Neela is like, OK, everyone, stop. I'll go with Takashi. And then it ends. Sean's dad. Are you like, no, don't get in the car with a gangster. I'm a grown-up. You're all in high school. Knock this bullshit off.

I don't care who your uncle is. I'm a dad. It would have been amazing if Neela says that and then Takashi's like, it's not about you anymore, bitch. This is like honor and stuff. I don't care about you. My friends are dead. nobody gives a shit about you

your pussy's trash I don't think we're going to prom together she's very um I had to like go close sums up with my speaker on my tv but I had to get closer to the tv when she was talking she was like very like when I got here nobody believed in me. Like she's very

It wasn't your TV. They mixed it poorly. Everything is so loud and she is so soft. A lot of the dialogue is really soft. Okay, good. Good. My TV can stay. Yeah, keep that TV. They fucking the way they decide to

this is maybe the last time or one of the last times it happens in these movies where he, actual car race, not just a car chase, but like a with rules race is a plot device because that eventually is very hard to start working into, keep working into movies. hard to work in this movie sean goes listen i want to race takashi whoever wins wins and then the mob is just like yes the loser leaves town and the uncle is like fair enough and it's like if you're if that's your if your uncle is the mob boss you look at him and go bro what the fuck i'm not just pick me your blood let this white dude leave cause the white dude isn't also

he's not infringing on any mob business he's not like taking some off the top at the pizza parlor he's just there and he and he kind of goes in like

I'm here to propose a peace agreement and I'm like oh it's interesting what is this oh a race yeah okay a race

here we go and like it has to take place on a mountain. This is his mountain. This is Takashi's mountain. No one's ever made it there. Be careful out there, dude. No one's ever beat him on this mountain.

It's just so wild. It's crazy. It's a full-blown 80s movie or like a 50s movie at this point. It's Greece. We're just like going to car race down the mountain. Winner gets the girl and the drug money or something. We don't like fully know the rules. And the respect.

But both people, high school kids willing to die to win this race. When he goes in to propose the peace agreement or whatever, the Nila is in there. She's in the bar like she's like 17. She's fully in the bar with the uncle and his friends. I think this is when she's in the bar. And then at the end of the mountain race, she gets out of the car with the uncle and his old ass friends. It is weird. It's creepy.

It's really fucking strange she's like look we know you're part of the prize so drive around with these old men it makes no it makes it's so crazy when sean walks in there he's like i propose a race and like the guy should be like you could have left town no one would have followed you we don't know who you are. We don't give a fuck about you, man. What do you mean you walk? He's like, I learned Japanese this week, so I'll walk in confidently and challenge you guys to a race. And he doesn't

want to stay. Why does he want to stay? It's not like he bought a house. I think he wants to stay because he found his people and he can race cars where in America he didn't find his people and he can like race cars where in America he didn't find his people and he was racing cars his friend

died I know well then he's the state for Neela you know she's sad and she moved here and she's drifting I love when he was like I've never seen you drift you've never asked that's the anal of the car driving world I've never seen you drift. You've never asked.

That's the anal of the car driving world. It's like, if you want it, you gotta just know what you're asking for. You gotta just ask for it. And there shouldn't be instant messenger during typing class or whatever they were in school. I think it's irresponsible. Select your own font, instant messenger. I love that shit. I also really loved, I'm like jumping back back but when he went to class and the teacher asked him to take his shoes off and they were i feel

like the movie was like look at this cultural difference isn't it wild and i was like honestly we should just take off our shoes like why are we walking around everywhere in our nasty shoes they do play it like yep and welcome to the freak world of Japan. Yeah, truly. They speak Japanese, their language. And like, he's like,

whoa, I'm so lost and confused here. It's like he, his dad or someone could have done him a little bit of a favor, send him to a Japanese language school. I hate that. That's a thing in movies that I hate when, when someone like ends up,

usually like a young person ends up in a new situation, he wakes up and there's a note that says train leaves at 7 or whatever. And then his uniform is just there. You and your dad couldn't have had a five-minute conversation the night before. This is the school you're going to. This is your uniform. Yeah, this is how trains work here. Just get on it.

Well, Christine, his dad, is busy fucking sex workers and ignoring him but also he could have woken him up he sleeps in his closet so as he got dressed he could have been like hey yeah train leaves at seven bye i got an early shift at the naval base in the morning it's like like what are you doing doing why do you have a pistol you're not allowed to have a gun in japan you're in the navy you don't carry like a gun on you like an fbi agent you can't just have a pistol i work as a sailor but i also carry a pistol at home when when gangsters fuck with my son who i haven't spoken to in 50 does his dad come back in nine is sean's dad back in action and oh i don't know no they're at a funeral over a gravestone crying it's probably

his dad i don't know i'm kidding they're like his dad knew han he says he knew han he was like family oh shit no way i like that they uh i mean we're jumping around a lot but at the end they pan up vin diesel's forearms like they're women's legs in a movie. It's so funny. They start with his hands and they're like, what's at the end here? A sort of doughy tricep. Wait, during the race, they did this insane thing where they showed the edge of the road and the trees below like Sean is going to go off the mountain. And then he doesn't. The POV is a camera going off the mountain and then he doesn't the POV is a camera going off the mountain you're 100% right I gasped which it worked on me and then they revealed that

it's like oh and I was like oh he was just close he had to drift away from it just a close little drift that's all well Sean wins that race Takashi tumbles down the hill and is banished. And Sean has to dodge him. Yes. Sean wins the race so bad that he races down while Takashi's rolling, arguably being death rattled, like shook to death. And Sean's like, whoa. And then they show him getting out, like cracking his neck.

Like, oh, that was brutal. And somehow everyone on the flip phones can see all of the race from their one spot. Oh, it's live streaming on T9 Word to everybody's phone. Do you have a next tell? You can tune into the live stream of the race. It's a 40 meg video. The shot is deemed the new Drift King baby. Our synopsis says he enjoys his life with Twinkie,

Neela, and the rest of the crew. Something just came to me. I remember it now. Twinkie is so obviously Justin Lin creating a Asian character for that role, but then giving it to Shad Moss because Twinkie is like an Asian derogatory term. It's like yellow on the outside, white on the inside. And it's like an expression for an Asian person who acts very white. And that just triggered. It's got to be what the original plan was.

Wow. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Interesting. Also, as the white guy on this episode, feel free to edit that out. Well, it would have made sense just like if he was someone from there to anchor Sean to liking it there. If it's a person who was born and raised. He doesn't have one Japanese friend who's not murdered. Honestly, I think you're right about that. I don't think we should edit who's not honestly i think you're right about that

i don't think we should edit it out because i do think you're right i think it is like a derogatory thing but it is a person who is in japan who like identifies with him enough to like be his friend and make him want to stay yeah i think you're like on to something and then i think maybe in production they were like we can't name an asian person twinkie we can't do that we'll just slide shad moss into the twinkie roll but i gotta say when vin diesel shows up i was so excited yeah i was like this is somebody I know. This whole movie, I had to watch a bunch of trash to get to the treasure. And honestly, Vin Diesel, oh, he looks so good. What a sight for Sora. And he's like, I used to run some missions or used to run around with Han.

He's talking about Fast Five, Six, and Seven. And they haven't even talked about filming Four at this point. And he's accidentally just saying, yeah, Han and I had some adventures and it's like, we'll figure that out later in the series. It's so funny. It's like Babe Ruth calling his shot.

He's like, yeah. And Han and I have been friends for three or four movies. You hear like the executives go, excuse me? That was the plan? Or do you think Vin Diesel was improvising me that was the plan or do you think vin diesel was improvising what do you what do you think happened i used to coach his improv team

you can convince me of two things that vin diesel said that and him saying that willed it into existence or i will also believe that vin diesel was like if i'm coming back to this franchise it's gonna be a thing about family and we're gonna do nine two and a half hour movies where everything changes like i believe he's business savvy enough to be like when i come back this shit is for real and we're making it the biggest franchise ever because i i i he's got that sort of hubris that only comes with a little bit lack of self-awareness that Vin Diesel brings so positively where he's like

I've talked about this on other podcasts but he has the football star doing the theater production that month he has that energy where it's like he doesn't know that he actually sucks at acting but his charisma is so crazy that it's working on the crowd. And he's bringing star of the football team energy to our dumb high school production.

And I think he accidentally brings that energy where he's like, the movies are going to be huge. It's going to be out of family and they're going to be a billion dollar enterprise. Everyone's like, cool. Yeah. Car racing movies, whatever you say, Vin. It's like, holy shit. Was Vin accidentally setting these dominoes up to fall 10 years down the road there's a big gap before fast five two oh there is yeah we'll get to it i'm so excited i wish people can see you right

now gabrus like you were like hopping up and down are you so excited are you sitting on an exercise ball or are you i wish i should be my doctor wishes i'm sitting on an exercise ball? I wish. I should be. My doctor wishes. I'm sitting on a Sibian for the entire production. Wait, what's a Sibian? Oh, Byer, don't pretend like you don't know. I don't know. Just Google it. S-Y-B-I-A-N.

Listeners of all of Nicole's podcasts, get excited to hear her reaction to what a Sibian is. Ooh, a sex machine. Now we'll get it this and now did this switch over to why won't you impregnate me because i have a lot of things to talk about oh thank you nangle for the listeners nangle's holding up her sibian into the frame so everyone knows what like so nicole can get an idea of what one looks like why has no one told me about this i thought you would have one in one of your toes in your ass or something.

Oh, my God. This is just my everyday one. I can get my holiday one if you want to see it. The one that has a stocking on? Yeah. It's up in the crawl space. I'm going to get a purple one. Oh, my God. Like a teacher who changes their whole room over for holidays.

Well, because when people are drag racing really loud i'm like you know what i'm turning on all my sibians i'm putting them in the yard and they're loud they talk to each other i think the generator that charges them all that's how i fight back with this drag racing in my neighborhood i can't sleep without the white noise of my sibian going all night should i get a beige attachment chocolate or purple is adding to cart as we're riffing about sibians over here i fucking love it uh that's some good that's a good level of fame to have where you're like hey i heard about a new sex toy it's like well i'm gonna order it click click click is there like a i feel like this has to have been made like a Fast and the Furious movie,

but instead of racing cars, they're just like playing Mario Kart or one of those like, you know, Xbox games or something. And like still the girls are half naked and just rushed to whoever wins and don't say a word. And they still steal drums and like zoom in of butt cleavage for the page of 13 sexuality. Cause I think that's more normal. Not normal, but like more, you know. Even more topical.

One added to cart buying it as soon as we're done here. But I just wanted to do a little bit of trivia. Yes. So over 100 cars were destroyed or wrecked during filming. That's so many. What's the difference? Well, I guess. No, I guess there's no difference.

Wait, are you saying the words destroyed and wrecked on the Sibian website? This will destroy you. This one will wreck you. Would you want to get destroyed or wrecked, lady? I want to get wrecked because I think if I get wreck erect, I can come back from it a little easier. It's only got two settings, destroyed and erect. It's like, I need something. I need to warm up a little here for fuck's sake.

One of them is Han. One of the settings is Han. There we go. That's the light warm up that I'm looking for. Because he keeps coming. He keeps coming back, that's the light warm-up that i'm looking for because he keeps coming he keeps coming back that's for sure wait what is there more trivia there is okay so prior to filming the crew went to japan and bought as many jdm japanese domestic market vehicles as they needed uh because they have the steering wheel on the right. Okay. This is the only Fast and Furious film not to star Paul Walker prior to his death. Tokyo Drift is also the lowest grossing film

in the Fast and Furious franchise. I understand. Well, it just doesn't have Paul Walker's face or Vin Diesel's face. After watching the first two movies, you understand why either one of them can pull a fucking blockbuster together. They have whatever it is that they have. It's not a normal actor's charisma. understand why either one of them can pull a fucking blockbuster together because they they

have whatever it is that they have it's not a normal actor's charisma they have something else but both of them pull it off the fact that this movie is at all watchable without the two of them in it is a testament to sung kang sorry lucas black i'm not giving you credit here but it's a testament to sung kang as han and a testament to a lot of the other extra characters but especially justin lynn he just brought an energy to this movie that made it feel like a fast and the furious movie what they have is a 16 year old fiance that you need i will say the money that this movie made i don't think i'd be like oh we're gonna do a fourth one because the budget was $85 million and then it earned $158 million internationally. And then $23 million, it's open.

Well, it doesn't have total. I think it's $158 million total. That's like not that much of a profit. No. I mean, it is, of course, an insane movie profit, but like not like they are nowadays where you're like, Avengers brings in 11 billion. And it made 20 billion,

so Tyler Perry can do whatever he wants. Oh my God, Tyler Perry's the fast and the furious. Oh my God, imagine. I would watch that. Madea goes fast and Madea goes furious. It's just about a bunch of church wives that get cheated on. Two movies, five hours, one page of script.

Honestly, I would watch Madea's Tokyo Drift, okay? I think it would be very funny. We're driften. It would be like the commercial would have driften, right? Are you talking about a driften? Good afternoon, we're driften. Good afternoon, driften. Good afternoon, drifting. Oh my God.

So we're at the end. Christine. Yeah. What are your final thoughts on Fast and the Furious Tokyo Drift? Will you watch any more on your own? I will watch nine. I'm curious now to watch nine to find out

how it all comes together. I will do the fast forward 10 seconds thing a lot during the races. Oh, you're going to do it a lot because Fast 9 is about 45 minutes longer than this movie.

Oh my God. Which is so... You said that last week and I just... I can't imagine an almost three hour movie about, but I guess Hobbs and Shaw was very long

and I loved every second of it. they're minimum two hours. They're never below 2.5. Should I watch Hobbs and Shaw? Hobbs and Shaw's a good time. I watched Jungle Cruise last night and, Oof,

how was that? I hate to say it, but I think The Rock phoned it in. Like, it was really hard to watch the rock phone it in it was it made my heart i have i have some rock i have some rock based exhaustion we'll talk about it as because he makes his appearance in fast five two weeks from uh now but uh i'm tired of the rock a little bit and he i am applying a lot of stuff that i dislike

about current movie making onto the rock and he is a main proponent applying a lot of stuff that i dislike about current movie making onto the rock and he is a main proponent of a lot of stuff i'm that bothers me but i used to love him so much he just doesn't choose interesting shit i feel like he just chooses money and he's like oh i can make five of these great yeah i'll do the first one now i really liked i really liked uh the oh god jumanji yes i thought he was really good in those those he's taking a little swing especially on jumanji too they're doing like impressions and shit it's pretty fucking fun oh i haven't seen jumanji i mean the new jumanjis are fun yeah like jack black it's like jack black's best movie since fucking uh high fidelity he

deserved an oscar yes for that i thought for sure you heard it here on Newcomers Episode 3 about Tokyo Drift. Christine Nangle and John Gabers think that Jack Black should have gotten an Oscar for Jumanji 1. Wait, really? He's so good at it. Because part of the premise is that there's these players

and then the people playing like he's a teenage girl. He's He's a teenage girl. He's basically playing a teenage girl, but in his body and words and stuff. They're the avatars of different players. The avatar, that's what I'm looking for. So he's the avatar for a 16-year-old kind of like Valley Girl type.

So wait, so Jumanji is a movie about the personification of characters in a game that people are playing? Yes. The yes jumanji the original jumanji with robin williams from the 90s is about a board game that ends up being real life and it's like about jungle adventures you get sucked into the board game to update it for the reboot they made it video games instead of you get sucked into the video game yeah Oh, so, yeah. So back to this, I think that it is like everything wrong with everything. Like sometimes I think like if I could have gone back to one important, I mean, one important time in my lifetime that could maybe have helped sexism be slightly less crazy, it would have been like day one of the set of American Pie.

And just been like, guys, no, no, we can't do any of this. A movie which I love. We haven't made movies like this since the 80s for a reason, guys. Like I know that my, you know, if I had a time machine, I probably should have stopped other things from happening. But I also think that day one of filming

of American Pie would have been a big deal. But this movie was- To be fair, Jason Biggs was one of the architects of 9-11 as well. So if you stop American Pie, you do help us in a lot of ways. I didn't say he was going to die.

I didn't say I was going to kill him. Well, that's the only way to stop American Pie. He still could have done 9-11. Nagle, take this gun and get in the time machine. Quick. He's still going to do 9-11

if I stopped American Pie. But it just like, kind of, just the way, over the top, crazy object. Like I said, like I felt like it should have just been cars driving teenage girls around and racing them against each other. So I was not a fan except Han.

He really like kept me watching and the fact that I had to do this. I will watch Hobbs and Shaw because those are like there is something just about certain actors that are just like you're saying the craziest stuff but i care like i believe if i remember correctly hobson shaw is truly off the rails yeah it's insane you you do remember correctly i'm gonna go out on a linear and say it's the worst plays an insane bad guy yeah yeah he's like an android robot or something right a robot or something, right? Yeah. He's got like biohacking done to the extreme with nanotech. Wait, so that one goes like supernatural?

Because the other ones don't really go supernatural. This one, that one goes the most supernatural. It's bonkers. A guy has like cybernetic enhanced. Idris Elba has, I can't believe I'm about to say a movie that features Vanessa Kirby, absolute crush, Jason Statham absolute crush idris elba absolute crush is kind of boring and bad okay well i will say who they didn't have vanessa kirby made somebody mad in the makeup department because there were some points where i was like just get her chapstick i know she's doing a lot of action i don't need her in a full face of makeup

but these lips they need moisture just give her a little bit of moisture, would you please? Okay, well, now I'm Googling Hobbs and Shaw. We got to end the podcast. Smart. You mean in general or just this episode? Oh, no. No, just this episode.

I'm like, this was a bad movie. I really, it was bad. I like Han. It's about all I liked. It was really, really tough. Yeah, it was like watching a show I didn't like, but oh, this actor, I love him and them in this new project. So it's fun to watch them in this.

But Vin Diesel at the end is what kept me going. I was like, if he had not appeared at the end, I probably would have been like done with i'd be like i don't really want to watch another movie totally but i was like oh you sucked me back in i fucking love vin diesel one day i'll marry him i didn't know you loved him that much this is i cut pictures of him out in my youth and hung them on my wall oh my gosh my first like crush i recommend getting the the Vin Diesel multifacial brand Sibian. Oh yeah.

Watch a multi. Is it called multifacial? I believe it's called multifacial. It's got a Groot attachment. He's got this. I am Groot. Buyer, are you okay? Yeah.

I accidentally called for Groot mid stroke. Christine, do you have? Yeah. I accidentally called for Groot mid stroke. Christine, do you have anything you want to plug? No, I don't want to talk about, I don't want to say that right after a Sibian. Do I have anything? You want to have anything you want to plug?

I mean, unplug your Sibian because the audio is becoming super loud now. Yeah. Well, maybe I'll be plugging the Sibian when I get mine. Yeah. Um, just I'll be plugging this to me when I get mine. Just check out Twitter.com. Please.

Are you happy at home? Perfect. Check out Twitter.com and change that. Twitter truly is awful, but you're very funny on it. Thank you. Yeah, Nango, you crush it. I love you guys, too. I use promo code Newcomers to get 20% off your Sibian. And check out my new podcast, Why Won't You Impregnate Me?

Mostly I just shouted at drag racers around my neighborhood. Why won't you impregnate me? You're going so much faster now. Away from me. That's hurting my feelings. That feels unnecessary. like tap the brakes roll down the window give me a fucking pretend like it's a chance oh man well it was a treat to see you guys it was nice to see you we have our rate and

oh boy our rate and review. Oh boy. Oh boy. Please. Review. Yeah, that's technically there. We got a five star review from a hork who says, welcome to the family. Gabrus is the rock to Nicole and Lawrence,

Vin and Walker. I've enjoyed every season so far, but I'm really excited to hear everyone talk about the insanity of Hobbs and Shaw. Just a few more episodes away, fam. Coming in hot. Also, thank you that I get to be Vin Diesel. I'm really

happy about that. I'm so glad I'm the hairless, sexless Dwayne the Rock Johnson. We're here in the basement gym getting the lift on early and then we're going to eat sushi and drink Terramina. I'm going to read one more

review. This is from Miss Chief Mandy. Oh, Mischief Mandy. Jesus Christ. Thank you, Miss Chief Mandy. I just spent the whole first Fast and Furious episode laughing very much out loud at work. Love. So if you want us to read a review that you write, fucking write it. And then.

Yeah. And we'll say, get your fucking handle set out loud. How fucking fun is that? Yeah. We'll be back next week with fast and furious Thank you. That was a Hidgum Original.