Newcomers: Sports, with Nicole Byer and Lauren Lapkus - The Fast and the Furious (w/ Betsy Sodaro)
Episode Date: July 27, 2021Lauren and Nicole have covered Star Wars, The Lord of the Rings, and Tyler Perry's body of work. This season, guest co-host Jon Gabrus guides Nicole through their next feat—the Fast & F...urious Franchise. Comedian and writer Betsy Sodaro joins them for the first film of the franchise, The Fast and The Furious (2001).Follow Betsy on Instagram and Twitter, and check out her podcasts A Funny Feeling and We Love Trash.Like the show? Rate Newcomers 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts and let us know what franchise they should check out next.Advertise on Newcomers via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Original.
One race, 2G buying. Winner takes all.
I don't have any cash, but I do have the pink slip to my car.
You brave, you brave.
You're in.
Do it fast, do it furious.
On the street where reputations are made.
It don't matter if you win by an inch or a mile.
Winning's winning.
In a world beyond the law.
Get in!
You drive like you've done this before.
No, never.
If you have what it takes.
You want a beer?
Yo, Dom! Why'd you bring that fool here?
Because he kept me out of handcuffs!
You can have it all.
My brother likes you.
Usually he doesn't like anybody.
But when rivalries are a way of life...
I thought we had an agreement.
You stay away, I stay away.
When loyalty is all that matters...
You don't know this punk, Dom. Watch your back.
You break her heart, I'll break your neck.
Would you be willing...
You're gonna stick by me?
Maybe.
To risk everything. It's a new episode of Newcomers.
Okay, guess what?
Laura Lapkus, she's sitting this season out.
She's got things to do.
She's a busy lady.
And you better believe I got an amazing co-host,
and it's John Gabrus!
Boop-a-da-boop, boop-boop-boop-boop-boop.
Oh, yes.
Finally able to monetize my ability of hating how little movies Nicole Byer has seen in society.
Here's the fun fact about the Fast and the Furious franchise.
I love the Fast and the Furious franchise.
I would hope fucking so.
It's right in your wheelhouse, Byer.
I mean, I love it so fucking much.
So, I mean, this season is like, it's just going to be a little different because I've actually seen the movies,
but I haven't seen Tokyo Drift
and I haven't seen maybe the third one.
I don't know why.
Tokyo Drift is the third one,
so you probably didn't see the fourth one,
which we kind of call Ampersand
and is kind of known as the worst one.
Yes, I have not seen the fourth one.
Okay.
I, on the other hand, am an old comer to this
and an old comer in bed. I have seen these movies countless times, almost all of them in the theater,
and I'm excited to scream about them with you and other friends of ours. Hell yeah. And this season
is going to be 10 episodes. So we're going to cover all nine movies along with Hobbs and Shaw.
Oh, yeah.
So today we're discussing the first film in the Fast and Furious franchise, The Fast and the Furious.
It was made in 2001. It is available on DVD with a subscription to HBO Max.
You can also watch it for a little fee on Amazon, Apple TV, Google Play, and Vudu.
And guess what?
There's going to be spoilers, so sorry about it.
Okay.
Yeah.
Let's just say objectively if people are tuning into a movie podcast where they're talking about a movie from 20 years ago, there just might be some spoilers, people.
You know, just like a little bit.
We might talk about the ending.
We might spoil it.
Wait, what happened to Dom in Fast 1?
I have no idea.
Does he die? We don't know.
Does he die? He's got eight more
coming after this, so maybe...
He's risen like Jesus.
There is resurrections
in the Fast and the Furious franchise, and we
will get to them eventually, but yes.
Wait, there's resurrections?
Spoiler alert, we'll get to it.
Don't you worry.
Okay, we'll get to it.
So I guess I am a newcomer, kind of,
because I pay attention to nothing.
But our guest today-
It's all new to you.
I'm like a baby seeing the world every day
with fresh eyes going, what is it?
Our guest today is Bessiesy cenaro she's a writer
she's an actress you've seen her on disjointed duncanville golden arm honestly if you have not
seen golden arm please do yourself a favor and see it betsy is so fucking good in it
also co-host the podcast a funny feeling and we love trash. Ooh! Betsy! Vroom! Vroom!
Vroom! Vroom!
Vroom! Vroom!
We're on Zoom
talking Fast and Foo, baby.
Betsy, have you seen
any of the Fast and the Furious franchise?
I've not seen any of it
and I had no real desire
until I heard about Resurrection
and the fourth one being god-awful. I heard about Resurrection and the fourth
one being god awful.
Maybe I should just skip to the fourth.
Yeah, maybe.
What were your initial thoughts?
Ooh, well, I
immediately was like, this
feels very Point Break-y.
Yes. It's exactly Point Break.
It is Point Break with cars. Yes!
I had no clue! Fast 1 is Point Break with cars. By the end, it's exactly Point Break. It is Point Break with cars. Yes. I had no clue.
Fast 1 is Point Break with cars.
By the end, it's Avengers with cars.
Like Fast 9 is like fully a different Justice League with cars, but slightly shorter.
Yeah, I agree.
Because I did see Hobbs and Shaw.
And I believe at one point, The Rock is like holding a helicopter and a car together and i saw it in theaters and i just
went no he can't that's bonkers yeah this is weirdly enough the most grounded of all the movies
which is horrifying because it's hardly grounded with some of the stunts they pull up. Every single other machine that is driving
is going unbelievably fast.
Like the trains,
the semis are
going...
Like those fast cars are having
to keep up. The truck drivers
also never slow down no matter
what's happening on the road around them.
If people are leaping onto the truck, they're still like
keep flooring it.
We got to get these DVD players somewhere.
I think it's a commentary on the state of America where truck drivers, they can't even take a break.
They got to make their deliveries to get paid.
There it is.
They're the frontline workers of the Fast and the Furious franchise.
This was, I think, a premonition to fucking Jeff Bezos blasting off to space while everybody else is working.
Isn't that stupid?
He went to space.
It's so dumb.
Like, it still hasn't hit me how wild it is.
Like, it feels like we're in an episode of The Simpsons or something.
It feels like we're in, like, feudal times and kings and queens are just eating venison
sloppily all over themselves while
the rest of us are at the plague
and shit.
Lisa,
can I have some more?
Lisa. More, you say?
Watching
this movie, I was like, wow, this
feels like an indie. And then
I was like, Nicole, maybe you like an indie. And then I was like, Nicole, maybe you
haven't seen an indie in a minute. It does. It's funny you say that though, Bayer, because
blockbuster culture in America, in our cinema has changed so much that it's blockbusters have to be
enormous now. And this movie was wildly popular. Uh, and it, And it's arguably a little small.
It tells a small story about street racers turned criminals
before they become agents of the U.S. government
and save the world and all that shit.
But it's so crazy.
We're so conditioned to movies having to be like,
aliens are invading, save the world.
And that's the only stakes that matter.
Where on this stakes,
though it matters is Brian coming across as kind of cool to Dom.
And I'm here for it.
It's such a-
And truly kind of cool.
I would love to just point out
the Paul Walker and Vin Diesel dynamic on camera
is, it's magnetic in this movie.
It really is. I was blown blown away it's a little bit
of a love story not right oh it is it it's a it's a bromancey love story it's a heterosexual
love story letty is definitely bi and then like gets it on with dom and you're like yes
but like i'm missing her with a woman. I kind of want to see that too.
Yeah, I was saying the same thing in 2001.
And in 2021 when I watched it last night.
I was like, let's get a few more ladies up in here.
It is funny that when Brian saves Vin Diesel from the cops
and there's a party going on.
Like, one of the first shots of the parties
is just two girls making out,
and I'm like, okay, 2001.
I feel like this is something,
knowing my co-host Nicole Byer here
will come up in every episode,
is the level of sexuality of Fast and the Furious movies
is very confusing.
It's more sexual than Marvel movies, which are asexual.
Never seen them.
It's still PG-13 sexual in which it's like butt cleavage and boobs or like women walking in bikinis set to like steel drum music or like a calypso beat.
It's such a common occurrence in the Fast and Furious movies where it's like the exact level of sexuality is like a music video from 94.
And I'm here for it.
I'm here for it.
Truly, I am.
It's perfect.
Who would have thought that based on modern culture, we were only going to get more puritanical in our movies and less sexual.
Like, whereas Hobbs and Shaw is like two asexual human beings fighting over a girl.
You're like, what the fuck is this?
two asexual human beings fighting over a girl. You're like, what the fuck is this?
I loved in the drag racing scene
the first one where Ja Rule
who I think had to do ADR
because his mumbles didn't match his mouth
but when that girl was like
if you win, all
this is yours and you can have
her. And then he's like
Monica!
When he starts to lose he's like, Monica! When he starts to lose, he's like, Monica!
Like, okay, this is funny.
This movie's funny.
Ja Rule is super fucking great in this movie, weirdly enough.
And his song at the end is fucking fire.
Yeah, wait.
The fast.
Wait, how does it go?
It's literally like fast and the furious.
Yes.
It was like, in case you forgot what you just watched, Ja Rule will remind you.
Ja Rule hitting us with the Gilligan's Island theme song that goes, Fast and the Furious.
You gotta be fast and furious.
Steal DVD players.
It's just like repeating the entire premise of the movie.
Pretty much point break.
Woo!
Okay, real quick, we to do a new segment and we're,
we haven't picked a title for it yet.
So it could be the Toretto Gazetto,
the Speeders Digest,
Fast and Curious,
the Tire Wire,
Tom Digest,
or We'll Read.
My vote is for the Toretto Gazetto.
I like Toretto Gazetto.
But I think we hold on to Fast and Curious for any sexual things we're feeling throughout the movie.
I'm fast and curious about Paul Walker in this movie.
Dude, he's so pretty.
Okay, so F9.
Is it really called F9?
I haven't seen it yet.
Yes, it's called F9.
Isn't it like three hours long? It's two hours and 40 minutes. Yes, it's called F9. Isn't it like three hours long?
It's two hours and 40 minutes.
No, it's not.
I can't even give you guys spoilers because it's so all over the place.
It's so different than this movie.
It's going to be comical when we get to it, Byer.
Wait, it's just called F9 and then they didn't edit it down.
It's two hours and 40 fucking minutes.
Dude, all the naming concepts of Fast go.
We'll get to them, but they get weird.
Isn't there another one called Fast and Furious?
Yes.
Not The Fast?
Uh-huh.
I almost watched that one.
There's Two Fast, Two Furious, which is two.
There's Fast and Furious colon Tokyo Drift, which is three.
Then there's The Fast and The Furious,
which is what people call ampersand,
or I learned that from Griffin Newman.
That's fourth.
And then five is Fast Five.
Six is like Fast and Furious.
They devolve until it's Fate of the Furious.
They just keep mushing it around.
Fast and Furious.
How many ways can we put these two words together?
It's like anime where they're like colon battle angel or whatever.
And you're like, okay.
All right, fine.
Well, F9 breaks pandemic box office record.
F9, the latest installment of the Fast and Furious franchise, broke the box office records in both us and canada it brought home an estimated 70 million dollars in the u.s alone
making it the biggest uh box office opening since 2019 star wars rise of skywalker wow
whoa it's a weird weird sort of title to claim we're the highest ranking movie since before the
pandemic not bad guys but i will say say My first major theater experience back
Was seeing the opening night Fast 9
In the theater
It was
Fast 9, we got that episode down the road
We're on Fast 1 now, right?
Fast 1
Let's focus on where it all begins
I'd like to point out something that
The movie franchise eventually is built on
Family and relationships
And it gets so fucking crazy,
but they really hammer down their love and appreciation for each other
in this movie.
I mean, that dinner scene.
Yep.
Yeah, I love it.
You got to say grace.
Oh, that comes back in almost every movie.
Oh, boy.
Maybe I haven't seen as many.
I don't think I've seen six either. Oh, boy. Maybe I haven't seen as many.
I don't think I've seen six either.
Okay.
When you first saw...
I dip in and out of the franchise.
Understandably.
When you first saw The Fast and the Furious, Gabrus,
how old...
Did you see this in theaters?
Did you see it when it first came out?
I saw this in theaters.
So I was like 19 or 20.
It was like during college or I was home from college.
And,
uh,
it was,
it was cool as hell.
And like street racing was kind of new.
Then it like kids in my high school had like dropped civics with black lights
and subwoofers and shit.
And that was kind of hitting the culture.
And then that art,
I guess it's based on an article called racer X about street racer culture and seeing seeing it in the movie you're like now it feels rote it feels like yeah we've seen
we've seen 18 hours of these characters specifically no less hundreds of hours about
street racing but it was a real fucking when we first saw it we were all like i drove home like
a fucking maniac from the belmore playhouse all i could talk about for like the
year after i seen this movie was nos it was like give me some fucking they say not so much
because i kept seeing it like when paul walker gets to the the place he works i kept seeing
nos and i was like what the fuck and then he starts going, NOS, NOS, I need NOS. Where's NOS?
I need two NOS.
And I was like, what the fuck is happening?
Now, NOS is laughing gas.
It's nitrous oxide.
Wait, really?
So they could use it for two things.
They could use it to get high as a motherfucker.
Or they could use it.
Make that car go, go, go, go, zoom, zoom, fast.
Car, car, go, go, zoom, zoom, fast.
When I first saw Fast and the Furious, I saw it on VHS.
My mom bought it for me because I like cars.
And when I watched it, I wasn't like, cool, they're going fast.
I was like, all these cars are attainable.
That's what's cool.
It's like only the one Lamborghini from the fucking douchebag.
But the rest of it is like, and that's what kind of the movie,
they're like, oh, you can scrap together with some know-how.
Jesse has a Jetta.
I think Dom has a Mazda RX-7 or RX-8.
I'm not sure.
Brian ends up with a Supra.
He starts out with an Eclipse.
And these are all like economy coupes economy coops yeah these are what like
high school kids drove in the 90s like everyone had their mom's buick century or ford taurus or
mazda rx7 yeah i fucking love it i fucking and then it's like it's all about what's under the
hood and it's like 15 grand under the hood i like that moment where they shit on him for just spending
money and not like know how or like uh because uh dom will say it multiple times but it's not
about the car it's about who's behind the wheel i mean this movie made me love Vin Diesel in a way that I cannot explain to you.
Like, he's so sexy and bald and, like, he owns everything.
I love him.
He's perfect in the movie.
Because I had never, I don't know.
I don't know if I've ever, I think I saw that one where he's, like, a babysitter or something.
The pacifier.
It sucks.
Yeah.
But then watching it, I was like,
Oh,
I see why he's a star.
He's so good in this world.
And in this role,
you should watch his short film.
I cannot remember what it's called,
but it's about him like auditioning and not being black enough.
And it's great.
I think it's still on YouTube.
Oh man. Have you guys seen it? No, I gotta find it. It's great i think it's still on youtube oh man have you guys seen it no i gotta
find it great and then after that watch him sing uh stay by rihanna it's honestly transcendent
little vin diesel fact i might this might come up 11 times throughout this pod because i gotta
tell every guest he has a microphone in every room in his house for potential, for potential karaoke, for potential singing.
He has a microphone in every room in his house.
I love that.
Love him.
Okay.
We'll real quick.
We got to take a break. We back.
Okay, some info about The Fast and the Furious.
It was written by Gary S. Thompson, Eric Berquist, and David Ayer.
And it was directed by Rob Cohen, released june 22nd 2001 wow uh and then we
should go through the plot summary gabrus do you have it in front of you uh no but i could do it
off the top of my head no i'm just kidding open your fucking email no i know but we don't need
to do you want to read through it we should should have discussed this before. Well, I guess we don't have to. But let's talk about it a little bit, I guess.
Okay.
So we see, we don't know Brian is an undercover cop
at this point in the movie.
It starts with a dope heist.
We don't know who that is.
And then the next day we see Brian racing his car
and he visits Toretto's Market,
which is a sandwich stand.
That's nasty, dude is a sandwich stand.
But it's like a weird sandwich shop because he asks for tuna
and then fucking
Mia makes it just in front
of him. I was like, was this
refrigerated? Where did you get
the tuna from?
Then he wants the crust cut off and I was like,
are you six? What's happening?
This whole scene is so, it's like,
this is like meatheads who write car racing movies
trying to figure out why,
how this guy and Mia could have a relationship.
But it's like, ask him to cut the crust off.
You're doing a sandwich.
That's what chicks and guys interact like.
I mean.
The market is like attached to a garage.
It's like, oh, I gotta to a garage. It's like, I got to grab a sub.
It's so dirty.
Like everyone, they put like, they took dirt and swiped it over the lens because everybody
is just filthy looking and it's like grim.
It feels, cause it's in the middle of LA cause you leave it and it looks beautiful you see like a beautiful view of
downtown la but it feels like it's from like a horror movie like the house of wax or something
where it's like you will die this is a pretty solid la movie and i do think like we are the
city that has like amazing taco trucks in a Chevron station or like the most random,
you know what I mean?
So it kind of fits,
but it's just funny that it's called Toretto's cafe.
It's like,
it's Toretto's garage.
Name the cafe,
something else.
You're Dominic Toretto.
You're an ex gangster.
You don't have any fun.
You're an ex criminal.
We're not a gangster.
Sorry.
Yeah.
Get it right.
Come on.
And then we get, we meet Vince. who's the big white guy in the crew.
And he is not a fan of Brian.
No, hates him.
Because he also likes Mia.
Hates Brian.
And rather than discuss that with Mia at all and give her her own agency,
Vince decides to just attack Brian.
Yep, which was insane. And then mia was just like dom get out there
they're fighting over me and he's like i'm reading my paper and you just see like the back of his
head and then letty's like come on and then he like gets up slow and then man this like power
walk out and then you see like a a closeup on letting it's great.
I thoroughly enjoyed that.
It establishes the entire dynamic of the crew in this moment.
And that is like,
Dom do something.
You're the dad.
Uh,
then ladies like the mom,
like be careful out there.
And then it's like,
hurry up.
You know,
it's like,
that weird Jesse guy is just like,
Oh yeah.
Hey man.
He's so strange.
I thought he was going to die.
Yeah, it's a bummer he didn't.
I thought for sure he was going to die in that race or whatever.
I was like, yeah, one of them's got to die.
Did he die getting gunned down later?
Does he die in that moment?
I don't remember.
Wait.
Yeah, I think he does, right?
In that moment, no.
But Jesse dies later
later shoot when that okay the motorcycle yeah yeah which really is i was very upset okay so
anyway so brian like i said has a 95 mitsubishi eclipse he brings it to the fucking uh street
racing party it's a party every time they set up a street race in the fast and
furious movies it's got like a banging music cue and we see like three women that would never dress
like this doing something that women don't do in public and then like other guys like just looking
at hoods of cars being like hell yeah that's an engine That is a muffler.
Get your mouth off of it, brother.
But Brian doesn't fucking bring money
because he didn't do his due diligence
to be like, do they bet money?
Do they bet cars?
So he bets his fucking car.
He wants respect.
It's pink slips is like a term
I know from Beach Boys songs.
I just know it from Grease I think
I know mine from Grease
It's like, the reason for the pink slip
Tell me more, tell me more
Like does he have a pink slip?
No, that's not the lyrics at all
It honestly might be
I'd like to give Vin Diesel the pink slip if you know what I mean
I would give him all two of my pink slips.
Get it?
Whoa!
Do you get it?
I will help you understand it in the next sound effect I make.
So they fucking race.
Brian's, you know, pressing his, he's got a whole computer set up in his car.
That was funny. Brian's you know pressing his he's got a whole computer set up in his car and he's typing away and he's
hitting his nose and then
fucking his car falls apart and sparks
and then he almost beats
Dom but he was never gonna beat
Dom because that's what Dom says later
you had me
you never even had your car
I live my
life one quarter mile at a time.
For the listeners, I'm doing the Vin Diesel stance
because he knows it makes his shoulders and arms look good.
You had me.
You never even had your car.
And everyone at the street race is like,
ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Hello, Dom.
You just won his pink slip.
Everyone is a big fan of Dom, and I love it so much.
And we'll see that no matter what country he goes to.
Everyone there knows who he is going forward in these movies.
He's like, what I love about the Cuban people,
he has like an accent out of nowhere,
and people are like, what?
Just wait and see. You're going this so then lapd fucking is all over this everybody zoom zooms away uh dom parks his car
just in this random garage that i think is next to largo and uh he just leaves his car there and
then brian's like get in and then he's like, get in. And then he's like, all right.
And then,
uh,
and then they evade the police and,
and Dom's like done this before.
And he's like,
no,
never.
And he's like,
no,
I got your whole record.
You ain't to Juvie.
You boosted cars.
And he's like,
got me busted.
Can you take me to a party now,
Dom?
I want to finger your sister.
Well,
before they go to that party,
Oh baby,
we got Johnny Tran and his cousin,
Lance.
I think Mugen.
And I don't really understand the like rivalry.
It's not really explained.
Well,
it almost never makes sense until you're just like
they have to like show them being bad by putting gasoline in that dude's mouth just so you go okay
then they're bad guys because now you've only seen both sides do illegal shit and you're like
who's the good guy that's exactly where it's like everybody's kind of shitty right now everyone's a
criminal as far as society is concerned. The way Dom introduces
him, he's like, that's Johnny Tran
and that's his cousin in the snakeskin
pants. And I was like,
what?
Who cares?
Then they shoot up that car
and then we have Dom go,
Nas!
They
established that these guys
always have silenced Uzis
on them so that it can come into play
later it's like Chekhov silenced Uzi
we establish it and then we're gonna
spray down the fucking Toretto house
with it later
the Toretto house which survives like 11
terrorist attacks over the course of this
series
truly is like rebuilt three times that's so fucking funny like the fucking avengers tower
but also this car blows up in a way that everybody in a 10 mile radius would have heard it
and no cops come not one person said everybody okay right nobody was Nobody was blown. Like, Paul Walker, it felt like, was like 10 feet away.
Truly.
He was just kind of walking away.
Like, your back would have been on fire.
Between Paul Walker and Vin Diesel's short film,
we know why the cops weren't after them.
Yep, yep.
Vin Diesel's like, if only I was black enough to deal with police.
So now they're at that fucking party
where
The buster
got me home!
This buster
got me home!
So fucking crazy. I haven't heard buster in a long time me
i don't think i've ever heard it one time i've never heard it like that i heard it in like the
90s look at this fucking buster like some loser just dork loser that's where i've never heard it
like that me either i had not heard it in 20 years in this movie. I just like, what's with the
buster, Dom? This buster!
Like, just keep using it. And he's like,
my name is Brian.
You can have any
Betsy you want as long as it's
a Sardaro.
That made me laugh. As long
as it's a Corona.
You can have any brew you want as long as it's a Corona. You can have any brew you want, as long as it's a Corona.
They love Corona and Snapple.
Why do they love Corona so much?
Why did he say that?
I guess they had a tie-in?
No, they did not.
But you will see.
Eventually, they do.
Corona's in every movie also.
I mean, Vin Diesel's not in every movie.
And I think Corona is in a few.
Wait, Vin Diesel's not in every movie and I think Corona is in a few wait Vin Diesel's not in every movie?
get
strap the fuck in
this might be
a new
this is newcomers
all over again
here we are folks
I guess so
I thought I saw
most of the movie
I know I missed two
I guess I missed most
I don't know
we'll get to it
week by week
week people
Nicole Byer
mind being blown
over and over again
as she realizes, what movies have I been watching?
Have I just been staring at my TV while it's off?
I saw Fast 7.
It's a bunch of fish swimming around in circles.
Byer, that sounds like an aquarium.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
That's my favorite one.
So Brian, he gets pulled over by LAPD,
and then it's revealed what we knew all along,
that he's an officer himself.
Back up three steps to the right, hands behind your back.
Yeah.
Was there any line dancing?
What the fuck is this?
Grab your partner, do-si-do.
What the fuck is this?
Grab your partner.
Dosey dough.
But then they go to this like beautiful house. And I was like,
I don't know what weird,
weird house.
It's like classic,
like cops being like,
well,
the budget is for a safe house.
Let's get a fucking sick Airbnb with you.
We're cops.
After all,
we got to game the system
constantly for our benefit.
Yeah, Gabriel,
spit that truth.
Do-do-do-do-do
to run the police.
The only anti-police
Fast and the Furious podcast
that's out there.
We side with the street racers
and the thieves, motherfucker.
Hell yeah.
Steal those DVD players.
Suck it, big DVD.
It is so funny that it's DVD players because, like, they're obsolete now.
It didn't age well.
Oh, I know.
There were a couple I saw in the very beginning, a couple of tiny TVs with a VCR in it.
You know?
I was like, oh, buddy.
I feel even in 2001, that was like, I don't think so.
Yeah, it's like, we've moved on a little bit.
Not to jump ahead, but in Fast 9,
the thing they're after is two pieces of a bomb
that could destroy the world.
And in this one, they're after all DVD players.
It's very funny.
The hyping is incredible.
That's wild.
Two pieces of a bomb.
That if they touch together,
literally like a video game,
it's like you have one and the other.
You can make the bomb
that could stop the world.
That's the world.
Fast one is like the delivery.
And also, we'll get to it,
but why are these truck drivers
so willing to die
on behalf of DVD players? That's the thing. I'd be like, no, the truck get to it, but why are these truck drivers so willing to die on behalf of DVD players?
I'd be like, bro, the truck is fucking yours, man.
Right?
Yeah, because the cops are like, the truckers are arming themselves.
They're going to start fighting back.
Climb in.
I'll hit you with my bat.
I'd be like, bro, have the fucking truck.
Yeah, take it.
I don't care.
I'll pull over.
You don't even have to shoot the grappling hook
into my car.
I'll literally just
wave me over
and point the grappling hook
at me and I'll be like,
you got it, bro.
These guys don't step
on the brakes once
in these interactions.
Not one time.
No, it's crazy.
And they're going so fast.
It does make for like
a western feel though,
like galloping along
a wagon and like
leaping off.
It kind of is like
a modern western.
They're all cowboys on their cars.
On the steel horse I ride.
On the four-wheeled steel horse.
So then Brian, he brings,
it looked like a burnt up fucking Toyota Supra
to Dom's garage as his 10-second car
because he still owes him that car.
And then Jesse is just like, what is this?
And then he like opens the hood and he's like,
oh, wow.
What a cool engine, man.
Yeah, I guess we'll have to overnight some parts from Japan.
And I was like, okay.
Yeah, whatever, man.
I do like this jargon sequence
where they all start saying the stuff they want to do.
I love jargon in any situation and like this jargon sequence where they all start saying the stuff they want to do. I love when I love jargon in any situation and like car jargon, which is something cargan, if you will, is something I don't even know about.
So here I like no oil change is like as deep as I go with cars as a city boy.
And so like, let them just fucking go.
They're like, oh, the 10G fuel intake.
Nice try.
And you're like, sure, man.
And I bet the writers had a good time, too,
of like, nobody will know, right?
You can just kind of say stuff,
and nobody will give a shit?
Okay.
Yes, 2001, they're like,
ask Jeeves about car parts on the internet.
So one night, Dom and Vince discover
Brian investigating a garage, and it's never explained
why dominic or dom and vince are there yeah i was i was confused by that i was like well why are you
guys here turn the table on them paul i feel like it's because vince suspects brian i'm doing work
for the movie here i don't know fully what they're saying but i think it's because vince suspects brian and he's like you got to come with me dom he's a cop he's a
piece of shit let's go get him and then they go to see what he's doing and he's just like i'm here
wait what are you oh we're both here okay let's hide while these guys commit a fucking absolute
assault of this poor bit small business owner, they were so mean to that man.
They put gasoline in his mouth.
He said, kiss my shoes.
And then he fucking kicked him.
I would have been very upset.
I would have said, that's not part of the deal.
You said, kiss your shoes.
You can't kick me.
Yeah, I kissed him.
Now you kick me?
It's rude.
So then the SWAT team goes in and fucking arrests Tran and Lance.
And then Brian also is part of the SWAT team.
And I was like, but you're undercover.
Yeah, that doesn't help his story at all.
He gets caught wearing full SWAT gear.
He's just like, I was just investigating this garage again.
I just wanted to see.
I'm going to a costume party with your sister, Mia.
Was this the very funny, like, 2001 montage moment of, like, was there, I think there was a montage, right, leading up to this of, like, SWAT team getting ready.
Yes.
Vin and Letty, like, kind of dry humping against the car.
It was so perfect.
I was like, okay, this is good.
This is good.
To a funny song.
You're right.
That is like a portion of a lot of movies from that era where it's like,
all right, five minutes set to a song where we show everybody where they're at
emotionally.
In slow motion.
Coming in his fucking Wranglers with lady's legs around his shoulders
and i love that letty almost exclusively wears like leather pants in this hot garage where she's
dirty like what is going on i forget who said it but someone one time said it should be letty as
dom's sister and mia as dom's girlfriend just based on like looks and attitude wise,
it would make way more sense if Letty was Vin's sister in a way.
I mean,
they make a great couple and she,
and you got to have her in the movie cause she's a fucking queen.
But it just,
it just,
it feels so weird that his sister is like a 75 pound woman.
Like,
and his girlfriend is like a person who has the same voice as him
that's that's why i think it's perfect dom would be the person to fuck himself
yeah if he could that's the choice vin wrote that in he's like dom has to be a fucking narcissist
and only fucks people that are like him they're like let's see what we can do, pal. Okay, man.
So, all the electronics, they're proven that they're purchased
legally.
I want to pause you for a second.
It's like, why is Johnny Tran
in the legal purchasing of electronics
business? Especially when he's
like, shoving oil down
someone's throat and carrying
Uzis around. Well, he's got a big
family. They caught him at dinner. Maybe
dessert was going to be some DVDs.
But yeah, the cops are just
like, you're going to have to consider Dom.
And he's like, no, Dom's not organized
enough to do it. And they're like, yes,
you know it's him.
So then they go to fucking Race Wars.
Race Wars.
Great name for a place.
Great name.
Definitely attracts people of all different races if you call a place Race Wars.
You might get the wrong kind of white guy showing up.
You can't call it race wars.
It's very intense to have a bunch of people pulling up to something called race wars, which is in the desert.
That is so fucking funny.
They arrive and it's truly just like an actual race war.
But we thought we were supposed to race cars.
Dominic, we don't know what side to put you on.
Please watch my short film. He'sic, we don't know what side to put you on. Please watch my short film.
He's like, I don't know either.
So then Jesse, he bets his dad's Volkswagen Jetta against Johnny Tran
in his Honda S2000, which is a very cool car.
Jesse.
As a Jetta driver, my first car out here was a Jetta.
And in the late 90s, when my friends were getting cars,
Jetta was one of the cool, cheap cars you could get.
So anyone whose parents bought them a new car,
it was always a new Jetta.
That's insane.
Yeah, and it was just so popular.
And Jettas were so cool that when I saw this movie,
and I was like, oh, you could soup up a Jetta.
That popped for me.
I feel like the old Jettas, before they redesigned it, were very like, oh, you could like soup up a Jetta. That like popped for me. I feel like the old Jettas before they redesigned it were very like super mob.
They ruled.
And then when they redesigned them, it was like every 16 year old girl will have a Jetta.
They're white and have four doors now.
And it's like before it was like had a spoiler and it was dropped and shit.
Then the Golf GTI kind of took over.
Ooh, baby.
I love a Golf.
Those are so rad.
Yeah, I've had two Golf wagons back to back.
I'm not a car guy,
but I do drive a station wagon for the last seven years.
I love it.
You love a hatchback.
Hell yeah.
I love it.
You gotta have a place to keep my beach chairs.
True story, beach chairs always in the trunk of my car
Smart
I love that for you
My apartment's too small
I gotta keep it in my car
You are surrounded by boxes right now
You truly are
It is disgusting
Don't worry about that
I'm moving out
I gotta divorce
Oh no
You heard it here first
He's a newcomer to single life
I'm gonna be coming new a lot Oh no! You heard it here first. He's a newcomer to single life.
I'm going to be coming new a lot.
So, okay.
So Jesse, he loses his car because he races the pink slip for whatever reason.
And he just Forrest Gump's himself out of the stadium.
He just keeps going.
Just left.
He leaves race wars in his rear view mirror. That made me laugh. And like yes smart man get out of here yeah just leave you got a car you
don't have to give your car to someone just leave um so then brian sees dom and the crew leaving and
then that's when he's like they're the hijackers he's like mia i'm a cop what what okay come on let's go find him
she's like well that's okay
because it's been three days so I'm
already in love with you
we did build this relationship in the last
72 hours on a lie
of who you really are
I'm still gonna believe you
and follow you to the end of the earth I know it's my
brother you're here to arrest but
I love you brian it's like wait what yeah it's so fucked up yeah i don't it's funny
that he has to reveal it too and then like we get like a triple reveal where he's like i need a trace
on that and then also later when he does it to vin he's like I am undercover unit please send a chopper or whatever and everyone's like he's like I already told seven
people for the audience it's like
the 11th time we've been revealed that
he's a cop you're right he just
spent the last 15 minutes of the movie being like
I'm a cop
hello I'm a cop call 911
I'm a cop kind of like how cops
actually act constantly telling you they're a
cop by their just basic behavior.
But Dom, Letty, and Vince, and Leon are like, all right, we're going to do one more heist.
And then Letty's like, we shouldn't do this without Jessie calling out that, like, this is going to go bad.
She literally tells us that this is not going to go well.
I feel like I think all of them are like, I don't know.
Something feels weird about tonight. Yeah, this is going to go bad. not gonna go well i feel multiple like like i think all of them are like i don't know something
feels weird about tonight yeah this is gonna go bad and then just like whatever we gotta do this
i i misremembered this part of the movie and on the rewatch last night i was like oh i remembered
it being some weird loophole as to why they weren't the actual heist people.
And we had to do it to get these
illegal things back into the hands of who
they, like, but this is the first
movie so they don't have to make them superheroes.
They can just be kind of grimy
bad guys. I was wondering that because I was like
there's so many more movies but they're
bad guys.
How's this gonna work out?
But then it worked out. But this is like pretty intense. How's this going to work out? But then it worked out.
It worked out.
But this is like pretty intense.
I enjoyed this.
They're fucking,
what's his name?
Vince?
Leon.
Oh, Leon.
Vince.
Vince is wearing a motorcycle helmet.
He jumps on the truck.
That truck driver is like,
Bob,
you.
Wait, hold on.
Vince puts a motorcycle helmet on.
A stuntman with a motorcycle helmet
jumps onto the truck.
And then for all the insert shots, he takes the helmet off.
We got so obviously that you put it on for just the big move.
And then why would he need to take it off in that moment?
It would arguably save your life.
I didn't even think of that.
That's my favorite.
I didn't even think of that.
That's so fucking funny. That's my favorite whenever it's like,
especially when people are like lit on fire in a movie,
where it's clearly just like a way bigger dude,
just like so many more articles of clothing.
Oh, I love it so much.
It's like, that's not the person at all.
But when you have a killer actor like Matt Scholes,
the guy who plays Vince,
when you have him, you got to get the mask off and let people see who he is.
Gotta get that mask off.
Show that beautiful face.
Show that Hollywood face.
I will say Vince has got a great look for like a street racing crew.
He's like weirdly big in a scary way, but not in like the rock way.
He's like not muscular.
He just looks like a big dude
who like used to hit people with bats or something.
Right, who has like anger problems.
Yes, yes.
Okay, I'm scared of you, man.
And you're like,
I would make a mistake and fuck him a couple times.
Yeah.
Yeah, that is the truest statement of the century.
And Nicole, thank you for saying that,
because now we're inside Mia's head,
and we know how she's like,
I guess I accidentally let this guy on.
But Paul Walker is a little bit of an upgrade for me.
Just a dad.
He looks like he showers.
This angelic tuna-eating freak shows up.
Just gotta fall in love with him.
But then, okay, so they call
a helicopter to get
him and then later Brian arrives at
Dom's house and then
Dom's like, what? Just to jump back to the action
sequence, imagine shooting
a shotgun while driving a big rig.
It's like, I know!
Both of those things are like three-handed
operations. Like to load and
shoot a pump action shotgun and drive a huge this guy is so casual and he's ready to die or to blow
his own truck up over dvd players i just don't understand i hope there's the next one is going
to be a prequel about that dude's life. Fast 10 is just a pickup train.
It's just a guy in truck driving school who's like,
I'm so tired of getting fucked over
by freaks in cool cars.
Here we go.
You do not need that for day one of truck driving
school, man. He's like a sharpshooter.
He hits every target.
He's very good.
He blows Dom's car out uh this the end of
this movie feels good because later on we learn that dom is the best driver in the world in the
later movies but we see him fuck up big time twice at the end here which is kind of yeah and
letty gets like she goes off the road his tire blows out she's all fucking bloody it's pretty and like it's it's a good like action scene that's
also like believable in a way his arm gets vince's arm gets so fucked up and later in fast five he's
got scars all over his arm the character is really cool i was worried that it was gonna rip off
i was like oh no he's gonna lose his fucking arm, dude! And then the truck
driver takes the arm and swings it
around, and he's like, I'll fucking
kill you all!
Vince switches his arm out with a NOS booster
and he's like, finally!
NOS!
NOS! NOS!
So then we're at Dom's
house. Dom's like, I'm gonna go get Jesse, but then Jesse're at dom's house dom's like i'm gonna go get jesse but then jesse arrives and he's like
i don't know man i just fucking left and then fucking johnny tran's like pop pop pop pop
and i was like just take your car you don't have to fucking kill the man that's okay thank you
this is what i was screaming at my tv he was like the car's there and you have guns. I feel like you could just take the car.
Just take the car.
And you don't know
that Brian's a cop
at this moment.
He's about to witness
a fucking murder.
Like,
you could just,
just take the car.
Leave your motorcycle.
Leave the gun.
Take the cannolis.
And then,
so he chases
Johnny Tran down,
shoots Johnny Tran, kills Johnnyny tran and then he goes
back to get dominic and it's like oh no he sees dom has his dad's uh dodge charger and that's
that story my dad died in a car crash and as the flames grew higher, I heard my dad screaming, but they were like,
nah, it's just you.
It was you screaming.
I was like, what the fuck?
It reminded me of that part in Gremlins
where the girl talks about why she hates Christmas
because her dad got stuck in the chimney and died.
Dude, we talk about that a lot on Action Boys
because it's the middle of a kid's movie about Christmas.
And it's like, dad got stuck in the attic and it's starting to smell.
And you're like, what the fuck?
This has nothing to do with gremlins.
This is so depressing.
And I'm fucking nine.
Just show me Mogwai.
I'm here for fucking gizmo, baby.
I just want to see some fucking gremlins rocking out.
Do some rock and roll music, man.
Come on.
Can we talk for a second about how Brian looks?
He shoots Johnny Tran from the car, which is such a funny.
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
Leaning his arms on the, like, he's got his window down, shooting guns.
It's like, why is he killing this guy from behind anyway?
If he's a real cop, you've got to arrest him.
You can't just shoot a dude in the back as he know you really can't but you know that's what i guess
he did they shoot to kill yep i thought he was black under that helmet that is not an excuse
you're not allowed to say that out loud sorry about it but it's what I thought. So then they race.
So Toretto's in Papa's car.
Yeah, he's in his daddy's car.
They race for no good reason.
They jump these train tracks.
A train almost hits them.
And they're like, yippee, we made it.
And then fucking Dom crashes into this truck.
I guess that truck driver is like, I'll get my revenge.
Right?
It was a truck, right?
Yeah, it was probably the same guy.
God, I hope it's the same dude
being like, give me your garbage truck.
Give me your garbage truck.
He was like, all I'm trying to do
is deliver these DVD players.
Meanwhile, there's like a bunch of kids
who are like, we promise you
the DVD players will be here soon.
We know you're all dying of cancer,
but you'll be able to watch your favorite movie.
This was our make-or-win.
Yeah, we just wanted a portable TV-DVD combo.
But then the movie ends with Brian giving Dom the keys to his car,
solidifying that they are friends,
and that I guess that the betrayal isn't as bad as we think it is.
Yeah.
What about, what does Vin Diesel say
when he pulls him out of the, by the way,
little Paul Walker pulling out the human teddy bear
that is Vin Diesel looks so funny.
He's so big and he's trying to pretend like he's limp,
but he's just so broad-shouldered.
Vin Diesel's doing all the work.
Yeah.
I think he's even like,
oh, that didn't go as my plan there's something he
has some funny ass something like that that wasn't how i thought it was good yeah that's how not i
intended it to go uh so some trivia about there's a there's a great piece of trivia oh sorry keep
going i was just gonna say there's a great piece of trivia in there that fucking frankie muniz
bought that jetta that's driven in the movie when he was like malcolm in the middle like this is
post malcolm the middle so it must be like one of his first cars was jesse's white jetta that is so
funny yes oh my god i love frankie muniz okay yeah no yeah that's uh that's in the That's in the trivia
That's awesome
And then you were also right that
It's based on
Racer X a Vibe magazine article
Remember fucking Vibe?
1998 which
Detailed illegal street racing within New York City
Wow
Another piece of trivia
I was going to say I was going to read the next piece of trivia
I didn't know if you had it open yet Oh baby Wow. Another piece of trivia. What? I was going to say, I was just going to read the next piece of trivia.
Yes.
Well, I didn't know if you had it open yet.
Oh, baby.
I got it all open when she yelled at me.
Neither Michelle Rodriguez nor Jordana Brewster,
who I took an acting class with while in LA.
Cool.
And she was very good for the acting class. And she's also in the Fast and the Furious movie.
But they didn't have driver's licenses or learner's permits.
They learned on the set.
Wow.
Whoa, really?
Yeah.
I mean, that's the most actor bullshit ever is like,
can you ride a horse?
Yes, sir.
Is it National Network?
I can get on a fucking horse.
And you're like, all right, here comes the day.
You're like Googling how to ride this horse.
How do I do it?
The amount of times I've been like,
yep, I can drive stick.
Yep, I speak conversational Spanish.
Just cast me, hurry.
I'm fucking broke and desperate.
Another piece of trivia is over 1,500 cars were at race wars.
Whoa.
This I didn't know.
Vin Diesel and Michelle Rodriguez
Were actually dating off screen
During filming
Their sex must have been so hot
That's why that dry humping scene
Is so real chemistry
It's good
So real chemistry
That's so real chemistry
I'm barely speaking English
At the end here
Thinking about it
It's a real chemistry
It's so real chemistry.
Those two smashing together,
I would pay to watch that.
I would.
That would be insane.
Good chunks of money.
That would be insane.
Fast 10 better be them
just going ham on each other.
Vin Diesel like 20 years older,
but still bald,
same skin tone,
same everything.
Just somehow looks exactly the same
20 years later.
Like the fucking marshmallow state puff man.
Just never changes the way he looks.
Looks great.
So, okay.
There's some awards to be had
and nominated for.
Erickson Core, the film's cinematographer,
was nominated for a
Cinematographer of the year
award at the afi awards wow yeah wow damn dog
that's sick there's more vin diesel and paul walker won best on-screen team at the mtv movie
at movio movie and video awards it was also nominated for best film paul
walker was nominated for best breakthrough performance and then diesel was nominated for
best male performance wait paul walker was less wait breakthrough shouldn't that be flipped i
thought paul walker was more famous than ben diesel at the time no this is like one of his
early has one of his early uh movies i feel like. He's just like a young, hot actor coming up
into this movie. I don't know how much Vin Diesel has at this point, because he's
in Saving Private Ryan and Boiler Room. I don't know if those are before this,
but he's getting by playing some small parts in some movies.
You need to watch Tammy and the T-Rex. Paul Walker's in it.
Yes. Tammy and the T-Rex. Paul Walker's in it. Yes. Tammy and the T-Rex?
So is an anthropomorphic T-Rex.
He died.
So Paul Walker dies, but his brain is saved and put into a robot T-Rex.
Wow.
It's Paul Walker and Denise Richards.
And has a crush, right?
Yeah, on Denise Richards.
We'll watch it.
I have it on Blu-ray.
This is wild.
Wait, should we get a DVD player from Dom?
Should we renegotiate our contract for 11 episodes of Newcomers?
And the 11th episode is...
Is Tammy and the T-Rex.
I love it.
It's a prequel, man.
Where Brian becomes Brian.
Oh, wow.
So the reception was, okay, critically, the film was not well received.
It currently has a 54% fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes.
I mean.
But the audience loves it.
The audience gave it 74%.
And that's all.
That's all.
Vin Diesel's not making movies for critics.
He sure is not
he'll eventually become
a producer on the series
but for now
he's just acting
in these movies
and he is planning
on making family films
about a family
that are for families
to watch
yes
yes
yes
I can't believe
how much money
this made
it's budget was
38 million
and it earned
207.3 million worldwide.
Damn, dude.
And $40 million in its first weekend.
So it made back its budget plus some in the first fucking weekend.
No, and no superheroes, no bullshit, no aliens, no Star Wars.
And that was 2001, so that's like, what, trillions of dollars now?
Yeah, I don't have time to do the math.
To calculate the rate of inflation, it's $10 trillion.
Betsy, thank you so much for coming on Newcomers.
Thank you for having me.
I had a blast.
I can't wait to watch all the other ones.
I feel like also I want to say, Nicole, thank you for having me.
Gabrus, thank you so much for doing this.
This is a dream.
I like how you refer to Lapkus as busy.
Yeah, she's busy.
She does things.
Well, I'm glad she is because I got to scream with two of my favorite people, Nicole and Betsy,
about one of my favorite movies in one of my favorite franchises. So
be busy, Lapkus. I don't give
a fuck.
Betsy, did you
plug anything?
No. Please. No, I
didn't.
Yeah, I got some
podcasts, Funny Feeling,
and We Love Trash. Check those
out. And then, yeah, watch Golden Arm.
You can rent it or buy it.
And it's going to be on HBO Max at some point.
I don't know when.
And check out Duncanville.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
And why don't you guys, the listeners,
after you check out all Betsy's stuff,
write a review of Newcomers
because we will be picking one to read on the next episode.
Yes.
And spoiler alert, the movie we're covering in the next episode is...
Too Fast.
Too Fast.
Too Furious.
Too Furious.
The first of the Fast and Furious movies to not feature Vin Diesel.
Get ready.
Wait, this is...
Already?
Then I haven't seen Too Fast, Too Furious.
What Fast and Furious movies have I seen?
We're going to love Too Fast.
It's going to fucking slap.
How wild that they already don't have them in that one.
Oh, well, I'm going to watch it too.
I'm going to watch it.
I got to watch all these.
Also available on HBO Max.
Get with it.
Get on it.
Ooh, baby.
I bought them a while ago.
I was like, I'm'm gonna watch them all one day
and then you know i got to watch them all so i they're already bought they're in my itunes movies
because they sold it as a collection and i was like some people buy the criterion collection
i buy vin diesel's collection the diesel collection if you will
okay oh bye The Diesel Collection, if you will. Diesel Collection. Okay. Bye-bye.
Bye. Thank you. so that was a Hiddem Original.