Newcomers: Sports, with Nicole Byer and Lauren Lapkus - Thor: Love & Thunder (w/ Jon Gabrus, Sasheer Zamata, and Ify Nwadiwe | Live at Comic Con)

Episode Date: July 28, 2022

Ok, wow, it’s Headgum’s first ever Comic-Con live event! This special bonus episode taped live at San Diego Comic-Con is brought to you by the power of Thor’s hammer, the power of Gabrus in Hercules cosplay, Thor’s butt in the buff, and Gabrus’s butt in a speedo. Plus new and returning guests Sasheer Zamata (Home Economics, SNL, Best Friends) and Ify Nwadiwe/Tengen Uzui (Grand Crew, Twisted Metal, Maximum Film)! What a way to wrap up our mightiest season yet. Not saying Kevin Feige scheduled the Marvel panel right after ours in different venue because he was scared…but he hasn't said otherwise… Thanks for tuning in and see you all for the next one! Special treat: Watch the video version of the episode on Headgum’s YouTube at 8am EST. Get Surfshark VPN at https://surfshark.deals/NEWCOMERS - Enter promo code NEWCOMERS for their special Christimas' Holiday deal: 85% off and 3 extra months free! Like the show? Rate Newcomers 5 stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Nicole and Lauren to read on the pod! Follow the podcast on Letterboxd. Advertise on Newcomers via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Beep, beep, bop, boop, boop. It's Newcomers. I'm Nicole Byer, and we are covering the Marvel Cinematic Universe. We're discussing the fourth MCU film, if you could call it that. Thor. Ugh! Thor's just, like, hot enough that you can go, I don't mind red flags. I guess I was just really upset that Thor came to Earth

and didn't even text Natalie Portman. Thor was one of the worst things I've ever seen. But I loved this. I finished it and was like, maybe I'll watch it again. I'm going to give it, I think, four and a half, maybe five stars. Ooh, fun bright colors. Ha ha ha, tee hee hee.

Good funny time. Thor's biceps. They're nice and juicy. When he's holding it open as the blast of the star is going through him, his silhouette of his f***ing bi's and delts. But I mean, the disrespect to Jane. I haven't seen Jane since first Thor. I saw the trailer.

She's Lady Thor, and I'm pretty jazzed about it. Hi. Okay, hi, hi, hi. Thank you so much for coming to Newcomers. Okay. So I'm Nicole Byer, and, okay, Lauren Lapkus, she's my co-host, but she's not here. She has a whole family and a life. So she said, I couldn't possibly go to San Diego.

Okay, so the premise of Newcomers, if you don't know, is like, we watch it, we've never seen before. We did Star Wars and other things, and... Oh, what? Lord of the Rings. Fast and the Furious. Tyler Perry films. You know, thank you so much for having a memory.

This bitch is dizzy. So we just wrapped our fifth season. We were covering the Marvel Cinematic Universe, the other MCU, because Madeea is the original one. And we're doing Thor Love and Thunder. Did everybody see it? Okay, good. If you didn't, oops.

Okay, but before we get into it, I want to intro my guests. Okay. Ooh, make it loud for John Gabrus. You see them in a hundred and one places to die. Oh, Party Before You Die on TruTV. He's also been on this podcast. Yes.

Gabrus, what a fucking treat. The people who are listening... Oh, thank God there's a banner here. You guys are going to be looking at a fucking fruit basket all afternoon. For the people listening later, Gabrus is dressed as Hercules and has walked six feet and is already sweating. I love that for you.

Also, burst my belt on the sit down. I love that. We also have a comedian, writer, and actor who works on Grand Crew, Twisted Metal, Maximum Film. It's Ify Wadaway.

Ify Now Nicole For the listeners Who's Ify dressed as? He is dressed as a person You told me Goku Nope Who's Goku?

Why do I know this? Goku's from Dragon Ball Z. He is a person. You're right. You're in the right realm. So this is not Dragon Ball Z. No, this is Demon Slayer. And people here know that. I think people only here know that.

Okay. And our final guest. Ooh, it's my friend and actor. I mean, you guys are both my friends too. Anyway. Well, I think she has the title of best friend. Yeah. We have a podcast together, Best Friends. She was on Estadel, Home Economics, Curly. It's the Cheers and Mena!

Ooh! Oh, boy. Okay. What a treat. Okay. Who am I dressed as? You are dressed as me in a smaller size because I own that dress. Wait, so, Shira, I didn't know this about you, but you see, like, every Marvel movie.

I do. I love Marvel. I love the movies. How did that not come up between you two? You keep your podcast separate. I actually asked to be on the show, and was like do you watch Marvel and I was like yeah like all the time we saw Spider-Man together you're the only

one in the theater who clapped when all three were on screen I couldn't believe it we didn't we didn't go see it like opening weekend so it was just like a regular weekend but like yeah Tobey Maguire came on screen and I was like and I was like starting to clap,

but no one did. Not one person did. And then Andrew Garfield was there and I was like, guys, this is why we're here. It was very funny. I had no clue.

It was so deep. Yeah. Ify, you like Marvel? Oh yeah, I'm deep in it. Yeah, I'm all about it.

It's funny for me to sit up here dressed as Hercules, pissed I didn't get cast in the marvel movie next to someone who's actually jacked i didn't get it if he's like i think i have a stronger case see you have like a gallery of folks you could be i have there's like four that i have to wait for i wasn't old enough for black panther uh let's see and then miles morales i'm too old for it there's no like mr terrific oh yeah yeah Terrific? Oh, yeah, yeah, I know.

Well, I got mad at Echo when he told me that. Both because that's one less superhero for me, but too old, I was like, why'd you wait so long? He was like, I tried to tell you at DCM, but then you got busy. I was like, all right, blame me. Wait, but Blade is black. Are there other blacks in Blade?

Well, Mahershala's gonna be Blade. Oh, but are there other blacks in Blade? No. Blacks in Blade. Anyone blacks in Blade? No. Blacks in Blade. Any more blacks? Any blading blacks? Yeah, I guess I could try some of them. This is a woman who you're like,

you should not go into the theater. Well, is Blade like black? Like a black movie, like a ton of other black characters in it? Oh, no, no, no. Blade is like, you know, do you remember the original ones with Wesley? Oh. That's for, no, no. Blade is like, you know, you remember the original ones with Wesley. No. Oh.

You know I've never seen them. That's for the next newcomers. It's Wesley Snipes movies only. Yeah, yeah. I've seen To Wong Fu, and I think that's the only Wesley Snipes movie I've seen. That's a solid one. Yeah, yeah, I know. That's a great one to start. But yeah, no, Blade is, you know, he's like, technically like Spider-Man

adjacent, because he's, you know, because Morbius, that hit movie that we all, I'm sure we all saw. Jared Leto's in Morbius. I saw the signage. And Tyrese. And who? Tyrese. Tyrese is in Morbius. Tyrese Gibson? Yeah. I didn't watch the movie

but I saw him talk about it on Instagram. We're talking about Roman, of course. Yes, Roman. Roman from Fast and the Furious I know that one now um it's a bummer you guys didn't get my rider that I request butcher paper to sit on because you're gonna need to fucking disinfect this chair I'm developing swamp ass at a rate unseen before by humans. Wait, so Shira, did you read comics as a kid?

I read Archie comics, yeah. Oh, that's not Marvel. But you didn't ask specifically if I read Marvel comics. There were other comics

other than Marvel. Touche, friend. Okay. We're back at white table talk and... Okay, so did you read...

Oh, what? It's okay. I i meant the white table we're at a white table yes for the listeners pull up to the white table we're at a white table and i need to talk to you about comics um did you read like marvel comics at all no i didn't but my dad did he would take me to comic book stores, but I was small, so the ones on the lower shelf were the Archie comics, and those were the ones that I picked, and they just looked more cartoony. Imagine that's how we grocery shopped.

We only went for what we could reach. It's like, this is what's in front of me, eye level. Can't have anything else. Okay, it's time for the Daily Bugle. So Marvel Studios is having a panel at Comic-Con in less than an hour. Please stay in your seats.

Yeah. Yeah, don't go. Don't go. So we don't know anything. Are there any predictions that you guys have? Of like what movies are going to release

and stuff like that? Yeah. Maybe like a solid recasting of Bretttt goldstein and uh hercules and thor uh love and thunder wait that was the one we watched yes when we just watched i wonder what the next one's gonna be called yeah when i saw they chose him for hercules i was like damn ted lasso fucked you over like you're probably like the front runner and then ted lasso came i was like fuck we gotta get him i thought it was his chest hair because that's something i'm like really self-conscious about is how hairless i am i didn't even notice that but yeah you got like that seal yeah i'm gonna get it i'm getting

plugs put in as soon as i make a little bit of money well you probably go so fast in the water in this little bathing suit with absolutely no hair oh yeah well i guess we should just get into uh what we liked and didn't like about thor love and thunder should we just do that no i think yeah eventually we got to do it let's fucking do it okay so the also we'll have like reviews at the end you can find that on letterboxd or whatever. I guess that comes later. It's like as if I've never hosted this podcast before. I will say, Lauren does the heavy lifting. Oopsies.

Okay. So it was written by... I always fuck up his name, and I don't want to. Gabriel, say his name. Where is that? Who it was written by. Oh, Taika Waititi. Yeah, and I didn't want to fuck that up.

And Jennifer Caitlin Robinson is credited. Who directed it? Taika Waititi. Okay. It was released July 8th. Ooh, that's real recent. 2022. What's today?

July 20, I don't know. 23rd. 23rd. So Thor was hot off the press. Okay. So there's a villain named Gore. You saw it in the theater, right? I sure did. How long ago? Like not long ago, right? No, not long ago. You saw it in the theater, right? I sure did. How long ago?

Like not long ago, right? No, not long ago. I think it was two days ago. For you to be surprised how recent it was is funny. I can't believe it. I thought it was released like yesterday or whatever. Or when I saw it, I thought it was like the day. Listen, I think I'm very important.

I thought it was the day I saw it. I thought I was at the premiere screening. I stood in front of the arc line and got my photo taken by an unhoused person. I thought I was shaking hands with Christian Bale, being like, you did a great job. What was that black shit? So Christian Bale plays Gore, which is close to Thor. And they never mentioned it in the movie. Thor wasn't like, ha ha, this is funny.

What did you guys think about gore? I loved gore. You loved gore. Gore was so funny. You mean the God Butcher gore? Yeah. He was a fun bad guy. Okay, here's why I think he was funny.

He talks like this. And then I liked when he was talking to the kids and he was like, this thing likes its neck snapped. But he was still like having story time because he's a dad at heart. And he's good at explaining things to kids. I liked it. What did you guys think about Gorr?

I don't think he killed enough gods to be a god. Like, you know what I mean? I wanted to see him murk more gods. It was like, I want to see him smoke Jesus. Like, I want to see him be like, Jesus comes out of the cave and Gore's like sorry bitch cuts his head off

where you been the last three days let me do Christian Bale where you been the last three days that's better right that was on point that wouldn't be a solid matchup I think Jesus is 0 and 1, right? You know, the Romans got his shit, right?

Yeah, they smoked him. Yeah, they got him. They got him good. They put him right on the cross and said, bye. Yeah, yeah. You know, he came back, though, but I think that's still an L. Wait, did they, like, take down the whole cross and put it in the cave? No, no.

Imagine waking up and you're like, fuck, this thing's here? I can't, everywhere I look. And then he comes back to life and we all have crosses on our necks and shit. He's like, you guys are dicks. That was a really bad day for me. And you're just like wearing it. You guys call it a holiday? Good Friday?

Fuck you. Wait, that's good Friday is the day he died? Alleg you. Wait, that's good Friday's the day he died? Allegedly. That's so fucked up. Why do we do that? He's dead.

Good Friday. So, okay, Gore, he's like all dusty and shit. He needs lotion. How good did it look when he dove

in that oasis? I was like oh I've been there bro I've been hung over as fuck in the fucking hot water yeah oh yeah you feel that toilet

on your forehead you're like I'm back I like that part because I was like ooh Christian Bale is acting well that was the funniest thing about Gore

is like you know like everyone else is probably like yeah we getting our coins we're doing our Marvel thing and like they're doing like they're clocking in they're doing what's it

but Christian Bale's like nah I'm gonna fucking make them give me an award for this yes I lived for six months killing gods right oh

okay bringing that machinist energy here Thor love and thunder but I just don't get why he was so ashy and I get that like I get that like he worshipped the sun god but I was like But I just don't get why he was so ashy.

I get that like he worshipped the sun god, but I was like, did your god make you just chill in the sun for that long that your whole body was chapped? I think that was the thing, that the people believed so hard that their god was going to like save them, that they did nothing to save themselves. And then their land was desolate, and they were just like dying in the sun. Okay, I'd be mad too.

Yeah. Okay. That was a fun moment when the god like laughed in the sun. Okay, I'd be mad too. Yeah. Okay. That was a fun moment when the God like laughed in his face. Like, oh shit, my bad. It was so mean. He's like, you believed in me? Yeah, I mean, I was on his side.

Like that was one of the things. Like I feel like, you know, like I was like, okay, I get this guy's, I'm on his side kind of. Yeah. He should chill, but like, I get it. Clap that God, you know? Yeah, you know God, you don't have to kidnap kids. Yeah, yeah, yeah. but like, I get it. Clap that God. You know? Yeah. You know God,

you don't have to kidnap kids. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was a bridge too far. If you ask me. Taking all those kids. Yeah, that's not nice. Why would you steal kids?

Yeah. To make a point, I guess. I guess. People will listen if you take their kids. Huh. Or some people go, thank God.

Take my kids. This one was loud. That should have gotten a bigger laugh. That's fine. It's just for the 40-year-old comedians in the room. It was very funny. So he's got a necrocross. So wait, he's possessed by a necrocross?

Yeah, when he grabs that sword, whatever controls the sword possessed him. Oh, I thought he was using the sword to power his mission. Yeah, it was like a symbiotic, arguably parasitic relationship between the two. Oh, I see, I see. That was the dorkiest sentence I've said. Elect me your leader, thank you.

Arguably parasitic. Generally, I think the sword was benefiting almost as much as Thor was. There's almost a parasitic and symbiotic relationship between weapons and humans in all of this movie. Whether it be Stormbreaker and Thor or Jane and Mjolnir. Have you thought about that?

Yeah. Everyone's like, yeah. Most basic premise of the movie. Fucking film bro up there. I liked when he got that sword and all the little fun creatures were like, boop, bye-bye. That was weird.

It was like a bunch of little Ewoks just being like, and just hiding in bushes. I loved it. They were so fucking cute, but they were like, we gonna get fucked up. Okay, so then we find out

Thor has been hanging with the Guardians of the Galaxy. And Chris Pratt, did he not know he was filming? He was so small. Usually he's got more muscles. It's not me, it's him. Don't body shame him. Don't body shame him. I'm just confused.

Don't body shame him, except if we're going to talk about his cheekbones. They were like, really? Razor sharp. Yes. I was like, are you modeling now? What's going on? He had fucking blue steel the whole fucking movie. So I wasn't alone.

He was a little gaunt. Maybe he was preparing for a different movie since this part was so small in this movie. He was Terminalist, the Navy SEAL, Amazon Prime show. Why do I know this shit? I don't know my mom's birthday. That's sad. He's been hanging with like the guardians and then like searching for like a

new purpose and stuff. And then he like gets on a weight loss plan and then he's like all Zen and okay. His wig. I just am so confused at Marvel's budget for hair. Yeah. They spend their money in weird places because sometimes the background is like Pac-Man

and the person in the front has like a mod team sketch comedy wig on. Jane's wig was bad too. Oh yeah. I could see the lace. Yes. When they fly away on that fucking Noah's Ark thing her hair was flowing and I was like

I see all the lace what is going on and then Idris Elba at the end we'll get there but oh my god I was like did they have him for 15 minutes from door to door get it on him go action what the fuck was that wig

he was green screened in from the back of a Suburban On the way to set The wildest wig I've ever seen in my whole life Millions of dollars And shake and go I was mad So mad Okay, so then we find out

Uh-oh, Jane has cancer Which is like really fucking sad And do we think maybe it was because she was She had that infinity stone inside of her? What was that inside of her? Wait, she had an infinity stone inside of her? College was crazy. Which movie was it from?

I let Thanos finger me and he lost the soul gem in my pussy. Sorry. As I said that I was like, that's not for listening purposes. I like looked at Shira and I was like, oh my God. Why am I talking like that? Did that happen?

No, I like it. Did that happen in Thor the Dark World? I think so. Because we didn't see that. Yeah. People were saying yes, and then I'm like, I get it. That's the one I did not see. Oh, okay. It was because I missed yes, and then I'm like, I get it. That's the one I did not see. Because I missed it, and then people were like,

don't see this one. And I was like, okay. That's kind of considered maybe everyone's least favorite of the modern Marvel movies. Yeah. Okay, but what happens in it? So she gets an Infinity Stone in her? Yeah, she gets like the Reality Stone. See, that's why we do it here.

We don't need Google. We got y'all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What does the reality stone do? Like, what is reality? It alters reality. Then why are there other stones? Yeah, it's also like the power gem. It's like, now I am powerful.

It's pretty vague, Mr. Nose. I'm not on a first name basis with Thanos. Oh, it's Thanos. Excuse me, Mr. Nose. I'm not on a first name basis with Thanos. Oh, it's Thanos. Excuse me, Mr. Nose. Mr. Nose. Hi, I'm Thanos. Hi, I'm Thanos. But also, I think this is probably the worst cinematic depiction of cancer.

Like, she was straight for stage four, and I was like, oh, I had uncles. It wasn't like that. I know. She looked very healthy. Like she was straight for stage four and I was like, oh, I had uncles. It wasn't like that. I know. She looked very healthy. Like kicking and then they're like, oh yeah, now for plot,

we need her sicker. Yeah. That was interesting. Also, that was the best wig. Her sick wig and I was like, no, that was pretty bad too.

I can see the lace on that too. It was better than the rest of them. I thought that one was like the best and then in the flash too. I can see the lace on that too. It was better than the rest of them. I thought that one was like the best. And then in the flashbacks. Also, why not use her hair? She's got to have hair under there, right?

I mean, maybe, maybe not. Maybe she has like short blue hair like the movie Closer. And it's like that's her actual hair. It's not too old. Sorry. Ask your dads. Her, no, it was pink. Oh, it was pink.

It was pink hair. Thank you. I it was pink. Oh, it was pink. Yeah, it was pink hair. Thank you. I saw that movie. I liked it. No, well, when she was doing press for the movie, her hair looked like long and brown. I don't know why they needed to have a brown wig. Maybe she was like, I don't want people to know it's me.

But it was in disguise. She's like, I'm going fully in disguise. I'm going to put on a pound and a half of muscle and wear a wig. I heard that her muscles were CG. That's what I heard. She's from Long Island, so I imagine she knows how to bench. They check you on the southern state. 3.15 for reps? Keep going, sir.

That's what I got to say. As far as the prat aside, the thickness, the muscle thickness was at a maximum. Hemsworth is diced and he's got fucking mass. When he was butt naked, I was like this is for me too. I was like, I like that.

Because you know, the last time I lost a bunch of weight was after seeing Black Panther when Michael B. Jordan was shirtless. I was like, let me get to the gym. This time it's going to be the opposite where it's like, give me some steroids. I'm not playing sports. I'm not going to get tested. Let's get big.

Everyone in here. Let's get big. Let's all go get trend together. We're going to do it. Trust me. It'll be great for all of us. It's also weirdly a protest because it's gender affirming hormones so we could be like really fucked to be like we need this shit

everybody should be fucking with this yeah see i think we just found a couple of san diego people here sorry i'll lay off okay so jane gets a calling to major. How do I say that thing's name? Oh, no. Mjolnir. I tried to be real snooty and I said it wrong. I was like... Mjolnir. Mjolnir? Mjolnir.

Mjolnir? Correct. Mjolnir. Someone just said, nope. A guy stands up with a hammer. Nope. Honestly, I would love that. Someone threw a Thor hammer at me?

What a treat. Kill me. So she's like called to that fucking little hammer. And then she like picks it up or whatever. And then the hammer kills her more. She like makes the hammer. She weirdly repairs the hammer and the hammer repairs her. Yeah. See, me and Sashir,

we'd be in there. Thor was in love with her and made this weird-ass promise that added a sigil to Mjolnir. And because of that, it was like, we're going to help you, but not with the cancer. We're going to give you a ride to Asgard, but after that, you're on your own,

sweetheart. Check out chemo, maybe? I don't know. I'm a hammer. I don't know how to do that. I don't know science. Google it or some shit. Ask about it at a crowd in Comic-Con.

Someone will shout an answer at you. I do wish they showed that part. Like, showed her actually transform. It's just like, the next time we see her, she's just Thor, but I would love to see the actual, I don't know.

I agree. They play it like it's a to see the actual, I don't know. I agree. They play it like it's a big reveal. We don't know trailers and also the other character in the movie that's introduced. It's like, whoa, who could that be with Mjolnir? Maybe the last actor we saw near it. Yeah, yeah. Frustrating.

Yeah, I wish they had shown more of Jane becoming Thor than the relationship. I get what a relationship is. I'm not stupid. It's also just like a weird montage Jane becoming Thor than like the relationship. I get what a relationship is. Yeah. I'm not stupid. It's also just like a weird montage of them watching TV together. In bad wigs.

The wigs got worse as things went on. Yeah. Or did the wigs got worse in flashbacks until current time where current time the worst wigs?

Did that sentence even make sense? It kind of did and it broke me. But maybe they were trying to match the bad hair from the bad Thor. Man, Thor one fucking sucked. Did anyone here like First Thor? Yeah. One person raised their hand and like six others clapped.

You're wrong. It was bad. I hated it. Okay, so the hammer is killed. Say it again. So let's just you take this. I guess the hammer made her Thor, but it didn't do anything for regular Jane. So Jane was actually getting sicker.

If she didn't have the hammer, she would was actually getting sicker. If she didn't have the hammer, she would also be getting sicker. So it's like whenever the hammer wasn't with her, you would see like, oh, this is what current state she would be in if we didn't see her as Thor. But also, yeah, because she was turning into Thor,

her body wasn't fighting the cancer because it was just put on pause, basically. And so he was like, yo, stay here let these medicines work and and you're gonna be straight and she's like nah i'm gonna come help you save these kids but then in wonderful marvel fashion it's like don't worry no one's dead yeah this is what got me out of comic books for the first time when i was a kid i read comics as a kid and then eventually when like they reset Earth it's like that wasn't really

Spider-Man like Captain every time they do shit like that where they rewind the clock and it's like that was actually

a clone and it's like that just removes all the stakes and teeth from it a little bit so like to see I'm stoked to see

Idris and I'm stoked to see Natalie Portman buff again but at the same time it's like let somebody die in these movies for fuck's sake

that's spoken like a true man who didn't experience strife I was like I got enough strife in my life let Superman come back to life But at the same time, it's like, let somebody die in these movies for fuck's sake. Well see, that's spoken like a true man who didn't experience strife. I was like, I got enough strife in my life. Let Superman come back to life and beat some shit up. You know, let these people come back. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

See, I thought it was because all my family dies young, so I'm like, fucking Superman can come back to life, but Grandma, Papa Jim, Papa Wurst, Grandma Dee Dee, Grandma Adele, all of them can come back to life, but grandma, papa Jim, papa Boris, grandma Dee Dee, grandma Adele, all of them can come back to life. Uncle? I just want to guess my next uncle to die, and he wouldn't like that. Sorry, Mitch.

My wife's laughing because she knows it's true. Oh, I forgot. Okay, let's move on from Jeff. Anyway, I forgot to mention those screaming goats were fun. Oh, yeah. I thought I was going to be annoyed with them. Like, I was like, this is going to be a whole movie.

But then I never got annoyed. I loved it the whole time. Perfect timing. Yeah, each and every time those screaming goats came on screen, I was ha, ha, ha. Yeah. I really tee-hee-heed so hard. And people in the theater, the one person, the one other person in the theater did not tee hee hee with me. He sat directly in front of me.

Yes, I bought the seat directly behind him. You're like, we're watching this together, right? You lean forward. That's Thor. Thank you. I host a Marvel podcast. Do you want to come? I'm going to Comic-Con.

But yeah, I fucking love those little guys. And then I loved when their temple broke. Anyway. So, okay. Thor, Jane, and Valkyrie, and Korg. Wait, who's Korg? Oh, the rock man. That's Taika.

Oh, yes. He's fun. He's really funny. I liked when he became a face. Wait, who's Korg? Oh, the rock hand. That's Taika. Oh, yes. He's fun. He's really funny. I liked when he became a face. Oh, yeah. Oh, and then when Tessa Thompson tied him to the back of her head

with her braids, I was like, way to use natural hair in the movie. Her hair, great. She must have had a personal because her hair looked incredible

the whole movie. Fresh braids in the front. And different styles. Yes. I was like somebody loves her someone's taking care of her she did right by somebody

in the hair department and they said fuck off to everybody else and then Christian Bale they were like I guess we love you too because you're bald

they said we don't fuck with you so okay they go to the omnipotent city where Zeus boy oh boy did I tee. Zeus was so funny.

That was maybe the highlight of the movie is Russell Crowe's cameo. He's so fucking fun. So funny. He's built so specifically to be underplaying it the way he does. Like, he's built like your drunk dad who you're like, pretend like you're asleep. You know? Wait, what? Okay, that's good. That's for the better. Like your drunk dad or you're like pretend like you're asleep you know you don't okay that's good that's for the better

like your drunk dad he just has like a body of like a blue collar dad who's like bitching about somebody from work all the time but it's just funny

to see that with the voice he chose for Zeus is was that a Greek accent I haven't been to Greece but I don't think so I've seen Greece and Greece do,

and they don't talk like that. Tell me more. I think my edibles are kicking in. I'm trying to put my mic down and stop talking. I like the holding of the mic. I get it. It's a terrible lane. I don't like leaning forward,

and I want everyone to be able to see each other. I realized we were being videoed. My posture is just this the entire time. Spread it out. Okay, so then I like this whole sequence with Zeus because Zeus was so mean.

I wasn't expecting that. And what did he say? I pulled too hard when he made him naked. I flicked too hard. Oh, I flicked too hard. Boy, oh boy. Oh, that butt. That had me asking questions about what the Q stands for. The Q?

Yeah, I know I'm not a full B, LGBTQ, but seeing his body like that, I was like, tell me more about this cube. Like, what does that mean? That I maybe jerk off to a guy once in a while or something? Yeah. Or is that like a lowercase b? Yeah, yeah, situational cube. A lowercase b. Just like a little b.

Just a baby. Just a little b. A little b. A little b. I'm a baby. B minus? I don't know. Sometimes I'm a little bee. I'm a bee bee. B minus? I don't know. Sometimes bee, like the vowels.

Sometimes bee. Silent sometimes. I also like that they put a joke on his back, like R.I.P. Loki for all the times Loki died. I was also like, I don't need the joke. I'm looking elsewhere. His butt is so nice. It was like a nice muscular butt.

I wish we had gotten the front. I want to see the real Mjolnir. I'll tell you what, that dick cures cancer. Sorry, Jane. Wrong hammer. You know, you had, also you had like orgies mentioned multiple times. Yes, they never showed it.

Yeah, they're so afraid to show like a gay kiss, but we could say orgy like 50 times in the movie. Yeah, but I was down for it. I was like, yeah, let's do it. Let's like get polyamory in the next one. Let's like, I want to see that. Bro, they got a streaming service. Put like an R-rated fucking Disney Plus.

Yeah, a Disney Plus. I want to watch some fucking hardcore Marvel shit. Marvel Masterpieces shit. Yeah, you know, some Bottle Rocket stuff. I'd just name drop a specific porn parody company. That's why I went over everyone's hair. But it's called Bottle Rocket stuff. I just name drop a specific porn parody company. That's why it went over everyone's hair. But it's called Bottle Rocket. They do a lot of genre porn parodies.

They did the Scooby-Doo one. And the Pokemon one with the weird Pikachu, they did that one too. They did a Pikachu porn? It was a Pokemon porn parody. Why did they ever? Oh man, I've got to watch the Squirtle episode. Why would they ever? Oh, man, I've got to watch the Squirtle episode.

So, Korg. Korg. Korg. So, Korg, so they confront. So, yeah, they go to the black and white shadow realm. This was cool. It was kind of like a throwback, like 1940s sci-fi movie, like them walking in like the... Oh, see, agreed.

Yeah, okay. Oh, wow, you discovered there's a child here. I know, I know. That was the worst time to find out after I like name dropped the whole... Oh, man, no way. You know, it's cool when it's my kid. My kid can know what daddy's up to sometimes.

I was like, no, please. I know what you're up to sometimes. I was like, no, please. I know what you're up to. Okay. I did like the black and white stuff, but I thought it was like a little slow. Yeah, well, I think that's an overall note. I felt like for the movie, I really enjoyed a lot of chunks of the movie,

but I felt like it was rather disjointed. By the end of it, I didn't care. I felt like it was rather disjointed. Sure. By the end of it, I didn't care. It was like, I hope he gets his weapon back or whatever. I feel like it's because we're still trying to make these movies stand alone, but we have just buckets of lore that we have to kind of catch people up on. Like, this is who this person is. This is why they're that way.

This is who Thor is. This is his journey. And they tried to stuff it in that like Korg exposition. And I was like oh yeah there's too much. We're like in almost a decade of 40th movie. Yeah. Like we gotta leave

some shit behind. Like let's just stop bringing it up. Yeah. Yeah. Fair. So then Thor creates a child army and then I thought this was really cute. There's a little girl who fought with a little stuffed animal. And I didn't. You thought it was cute.

And this is where I thought my parent brain kicked in. I was like, this is irresponsible, Thor. These are kids. I wouldn't trust my daughter with my life. Get in the back. Daddy's going to fight or die or something. But you get out of here. As a childless 40-year-old, I was like, yeah.

Cannon fodder. Run them out first. They can get murked and then you come in at the end and win. That's why it's not the same thing. I was like Michael Jordan, fuck them kids.

That was actually my favorite part. I was like, I love these kids getting action and it felt like this was produced by Nickelodeon and not in a bad way but just like, I love these kids getting action. And it felt like this was produced by Nickelodeon. And not in a bad way, but just like, this is where kids can be a kid. Kids are important. We can help too. When Axel reached up a big nose and pulled out a prize covered in boogers.

Yeah, I thought it was very cool. They actually get real action sequences. And a lot of the people who worked on the movie and in the movie, their kids were in that fight scene. Oh, really? Chris Hemsworth's actual kid was Love, was the girl at the end.

That's his actual daughter? Yeah. He was like, let me get the double check. I mean, yeah, she's working too. She's got triple, triple pay rates. And then I think Taika's kid was in it, and other people's kids were. Natalie Portman triple, triple day rates. And then I think Taika's kid was in it and like other people's kids were.

Natalie Portman's kids and Christian Bale's kids were. And that group of kids is like everybody's kids. That's nice. They didn't have to pay for daycare.

They instead got money. Gore's watching them. Don't worry, Gore's telling them a story. And then at the end when he was like, you know, you don't have to wish

for all the gods to be killed. You can wish for your daughter back. I out loud was like, oh my, you don't have to wish for all the gods to be killed. You can wish for your daughter back. I was like, oh, my God, he could. Because it never occurred to me either. But then I thought that was weird because it was like, yeah, you can bring your daughter back. But who's taking care of that kid? Thor.

I mean, now Thor. Everybody's like winking and looking at each other and being like, Thor's going to do it. It's like, did they make an agreement before? Yeah, because Thor had no say. Like, Thor's just sitting there like, wait, I got to take care of this kid, and y'all both about to die? Yeah. Oh, that was wild.

Yeah, the love of my life is dying, and the dad is dying. And now I have this kid I don't know? But, like, imagine being love. I didn't know her name was Love. But imagine being love and, like, getting brought back, and you're like, mm, I was sleeping. Daddy's dead. Instant trauma.

What a terrible way to get brought back. And honestly,, I was sleeping. Daddy's dead. Instant trauma. What a terrible way to get brought back. And honestly, she's taking it pretty well. Yeah, she was a very chill kid. Right? I guess I live with this stranger now and I just fight with him.

That was cool, trippy imagery, like the galaxy inside of the thing, the person that they wished in front of. Oh yeah, that was fun. Yeah, I liked all that. It looked like a background on your computer.

It did, yes. Yes, it did. It looked like that. fun. Yeah, I liked all that. It looked like a background on your computer. It did, yes. Yes, it did. It looked like that. Correct. Computer. So then Love becomes a fighter. She's like, is she like Thor too? Wait, what does she fight with?

Wait, where did the other fucking thing go? Because he has his hammer back, but he doesn't have... She is using Stormbreaker. Oh, interesting. Yeah. That wouldn't be my choice. That's big. Yeah, I think Thor missed... We learned over the movie that Thor really missed that hammer. Oh, interesting. Yeah. That wouldn't be my choice. That's big. Yeah, I think Thor missed,

we learned over the movie that Thor really missed that half. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I did think it was kind of cool. They set the personality up of Stormbreaker, so you kind of cared

that he got it back. Yeah. I thought that was some cute shit with the whole like, Yeah, that was fun. When it was like creeping around behind him as he's talking about it. That got me every time.

Every time it creeped in the frame, I'm like, I love this. I love when you have a relationship with your weapon, like all that stuff. There's a whole video game where you fuck your weapon. What? Yeah, yeah. We'll talk about this offline.

Text me that game ASAP, please. I forget the name of it, but yeah, you date your weapon. This is a real game? Yes, I'm not making it up. I guess I... They're keeping it low key. Probably a gun. You're such a modern woman.

I watched a documentary about a woman who was in love with her bow and arrow. Was she good with it though? She was. She was a champion. Why do I find that so hot? I'm broken. I was like, shit, that's fucking hot. I don't know why.

Okay, so we have a new segment for Comic-Con. It's exclusive. It's going to happen one time, and that's it. It's called The Blip, because I love the fucking blip. Okay, so if I could blip and go back in time, whatever, what movies do you think I should have watched? We skipped The Incredible Hulk, Iron Man 3, Thor Dark World, Guardians of the Galaxy,

Ant-Man and the Wasp, Black Widow, Shang-Chi, or Shang-Chi, I don't know how to pronounce it. Shang-Chi. Spider-Man, No Way Home, no, I saw that in the theaters. Disney Show, Falcon, Loki, What If, Hawkeye, Moon Knight, or Ms. Marvel. Damn. Okay, I'll throw out a couple.

I think you should watch, I think Shang-Chi was one of the better new ones. It was kind of fun to see. Yeah, people dig it. It's got cool martial arts and it's got aqua, and Ben Kingsley is so fucking funny in it. Does anyone fuck? Because in the Eternals, I really liked that.

Yeah, well, if you're looking for fucking, watching American cinema, you're not going to find it. Disney's not going to put it out there. And then I would recommend Iron Man 3 to see our friend Adam Pally. Oh, okay. He's got a fun role. I liked Black Widow.

You did? I did. I think people did it because of women. I just don't know if I can sit through a whole movie where I know the hair department hates Scarlett Johansson. I feel like her hair didn't look that bad in that movie. I think you'll like that the Russian accent trainer also hated everybody

on the production. Let's roll the dice. Everyone's seen one episode of Rocky and Bullwinkle, right? Alright, you ready to shoot a movie? It also was strange because she grew up in a family of Russians but she had no accent at all and was not even going

to attempt it. Interesting. Well, it's kind of like Wanda. Yeah. Wanda said, I'll never be consistent. Sokovian. Yeah. What is Sokovian?

It's Sokovia. You know, Sokovia. It's someone who's from Sokovia. But is it real? Can I go? I don't think so. Spring break? Yeah.

It's not real? No, we can't go anymore. COVID outbreak. Closed over COVID. Like everything that's cool. There was kissing in this. We have a segment called A Kiss in This.

There was kissing. There was a kiss in this. Thor and Jane kissed twice, I think. And there was a Chris in this as well. There was a Chris in this. Chris. There's Chris. Oh, two Chris's. Chris and Chris. Who's the other Chris? this as well. There was a Chris in this. Chris. There's Chris. Oh, two Chris's.

Chris and Chris. Who's the other Chris? The other one. Christian. Oh, Christian Bale. Chris Bale. There's three Chris's. Oh my God.

Was there more than three? Holy shit. And not to mention Christ, who's in all of us at all times. In all of our hearts. Okay. Do we want to talk at all about the post-credit sequences Of this book? I don't think we should No, that's fine

Let's do it I've been sitting here In a pool of my own swamp ass This entire time Okay, so We do have five minutes left So we can talk about them Or if there's something else

We're supposed to do Let's do it No, I was just gonna ask For plugs and shit But that's not gonna take A long time So the first post-credit sequence Was

Zeus Zeus And then we got to see Hercules played by Brett Goldstein but that's not going to take a long time. So the first post-credits sequence was... Zeus. Zeus. And then we got to see Hercules played by... Brett Goldstein. Yes. Roy cunt. He's every fucking where. Sorry, I'm cursing in front of kids.

Yeah, it's from Ted Lasso. We're a bit late for that. You're a bit late for that. Kids are exposed to a lot. Every time... Now I can't... Oh, good. CPS is here.

But I liked it because I was like, in next Thor, will there be Hercules? Will there be more gods? Like, I'm excited. I think so. I think probably like a whole war of gods, yeah. Oh, I'm here for it. And then. Unless there's like a recasting or something.

Like, you don't know. Like, anything can really happen. Anything can happen. Well, the Marvel thing, I'm sure Kevin Feige's there. I'm going to go and start. Look at me. My PMI is through the roof and I'm sunburned. I'm perfect for Marvel.

I wish my name was Chris. That's funny. And then the second one we talked about, that's Jane going to Valhalla? Valhalla. Is Valhalla a place? Yeah. Two towns over, but Valhalla is the eternal resting place of Vikings.

Oh, Vikings. I thought it was like gods. So wait, she's like now an honorary Viking? Seems suspect. Because she like died in battle. I was like, what was explained earlier? Oh yeah, when homegirl was laying there, she's like, let me die. And they're like, no, your arm's there, but not the rest of you.

That was teehee to me. I thought it was funny. I just, those, that wig. So is Martin, like, so when you die and go to Vaharta, does, like, why does the hair get worse? I think we've established the hair's just bad throughout.

I'm just so upset about it. I just can't believe it. If she died from cancer, would she have hair? Like, I don't even, who cares? Some people lose it, some people don't.

So, uh, that's... Some people get worse Some people lose it, some people don't. Some people get worse laces. That's a side effect of chemo is sometimes your lace front shows. Maybe that was the one thing that Hammer actually did for her cancer is make sure her hair stayed on. It's like, I'm trying here, sweetheart.

That's all I can do right now. Your cells are attacking your own body at an insane rate, but I can hold on to that hair for you if I can try. Well, that's it. Do you guys have anything you would like to plug before we leave? Oh, yeah, check out Maximum Film. Also, if you want to weigh on Twitter and Instagram, if you want to see what I'm up to I'm usually

saying what I'm doing over there oh watch Grand Crew it's a good show yeah season two it's on the way hell yeah my social stuff is at the sheer truth and

we have a Best Friends podcast that comes out every Wednesday. And I'm on Home Economics, the ABC show that's going to be, season three is going to come out soon. So watch that. Check out 101 Places to Party Before You Die Thursday nights on True TV.

Co-hosted by my buddy Adam Pelley, who's in Iron Man 3. And my socials are at Gabrus on all of them. And thank you guys so much for coming out. I truly appreciate it. I don't know if Lauren and I are coming back for another season or what we're going to do, but maybe we will, maybe we won't.

Thank you for listening. Okay, toodaloo, bye! Thank you. that was a Hidgum original