NO FOMO - 11. Jesus is Back
Episode Date: May 11, 2022Welcome Back Fomo Sapiens. This week we talk the Johnny depp Challenge, Chris Rock getting Rocked, and a plethora of Philosopher's Stone's. Let's Evolve Together, NO FOMO. To Submit to the Show messag...e us on Instagram linked below! Socials: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fomomusic_/ Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@fomomusic Twitter: https://twitter.com/fomomusic_ Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/6K4rA... Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/wearefomomusic
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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to No FOMO with your hosts,
J-Sus, Morgie Beats, and Garrett.
I can't think of a creative nickname for myself that I love.
Yeah, but so it's John Morgan.
John Morgan and Garrett.
I'll take J-Sus at this point.
It's just kind of stuck.
John, J-Sus, Morgan, you can call them whatever you want.
Huge brain, by the way.
Yeah, and I'm Garrett, and we are back with episode 11.
After another week-long hiatus,
we promise this is the last time we're doing this shit.
Episodes will be coming out every Wednesday from here on out,
and you can put that on God.
That's on God.
Yeah.
How we been, boys?
I haven't seen John in, what, this is almost three weeks?
I know.
I've been gone for a minute.
I did the stagecoach hitter for three,
and then I went to Cabo right after that,
no break for five days.
Like you had like a one day intermission.
As the tan shows.
As the tan would show.
As the tan would show.
I got some sun.
The guys look in bronze as hell.
I'm wearing sunglasses, but even without them, no difference.
It's just, it penetrates.
You're almost, I can't even see with the glasses on.
UV fucking 100 right there.
I might have to like reverse enhance the color on your video because.
I was just going to say.
Yeah, you're making us look like shit.
I'm going to turn the browns down.
It was a good ass time though.
Turn the browns down. It was a good ass time though. Turn the Browns down.
It was a good ass time.
Stage coach,
lit,
everybody,
it was a headliner.
You've gone before though,
right?
Yeah,
that's my spot.
The Diplo set on Sunday.
I heard that was a highlight
for everybody.
Oh my goodness.
He just played every song
that you like to hear
through in a little bit
of EDM like transition
and just kept it rolling.
So it's like Mr. Brightside,
a little EDM shit,
and then he's just like,
ooh, I wanna dance with somebody.
It was an hour straight of 45 seconds in a row
of every song that you like to hear
and you're just going nuts the whole time.
Just nonstop.
Bro, I was gonna do a cheeky Sunday show up
and just surprise you guys,
but my fucking phone stopped working.
So I couldn't send it.
That sounds about right for you.
That sounds about right.
That would've been legendary.
Honestly, if you were actual Morg,
you would've still showed up with no phone. Yeah, that's fair.
Well, it's the drive that would have been
very hard. Without a phone? Oh, yeah.
And finding where you are. No directions, no way to
contact anybody. You could have done it.
I could have done it. There's stars.
Yeah.
Just head
to the North Star and you'll find Juicy J.
And then Cabo, though, was
unreal. Cabo's just always a fucking great time.
I got this take.
Bartenders in Cabo are way, like,
100 million times better than any kind of bartender here.
Oh, yeah.
Let me paint you a picture.
You're at a bar in Esty.
You go up, and you order two tequila sunrises,
an espresso martini, and a pina colada.
Who are we in this scenario?
The person ordering.
Okay.
The bartender spits in your face
because he's like, no, I'm not making that.
Order an alcohol and a soda of some sort,
and that's it.
That's all you get.
Mexico, they just look at you,
see, two seconds, done.
Hammer them out.
You're ready to rock.
Like, people are just walking out there
ordering the worst things that you could order at a bar,
and they're just hammering them out nonstop.
They don't give a shit.
They're not always the best drinks you'll ever have,
but they'll be done very quickly. Oh, no, they might not make them right. Or even they're just hammering them out nonstop. They don't give a shit. They're not always the best drinks you'll ever have, but they'll be done very quickly.
Oh, no, they might not make them right.
No, they're good.
Or even they're ready.
They're all AMS.
Yeah.
Thank you, sir.
Why is my espresso martini blue?
Yeah, I'm confused.
And then the last thing,
you guys have got to get a bubble machine
at your next show or whenever you do a pool party.
Two giant bubble
launchers just drop into
the pool right in front of the stage.
Your chin, you're up the chin in bubbles
and you're going nuts the whole time.
We need those every show.
Indoors, outdoors, I don't care.
That was at the hotel
put on these parties.
Oh, just bangers?
I was the oldest person there. It's a bunch of like 19-year-old college kids.
Still like spring break time.
I would have loved to see you
just fooling around in suds, bro.
Oh, it was,
I'm just over there
making little beers and shit
the whole time.
I was just going to say
you took the words
out of my mouth.
It was a time.
You have a whole white afro
and a fucking beard on.
Yeah, I was Santa Claus
laughing at the ground
just smiling.
It is so dark
with these glasses on.
I think I'm going to
take these off for a little bit.
I can't see anything.
You're not built for this.
I can't see anything.
Jay went with the clear lenses, which was a great call.
I literally can't see you guys.
Yeah, well, I'm born this way.
And I can hardly read my computer.
So I'm going to take them off for a little bit.
What else we got going on?
So Mother's Day was an absolute movie.
Oh, God, I loved your Mother's Day.
That was so good.
So I went up to Sacramento. We went to like this church um no it's not church they're like a christian rock pop band thing yes
all of that and let me tell you jesus is back jesus is back i was sitting there just two hands
in the sky jesus is back which which has been restored yeah we have to mention because of that
because you had the best use of that Snapchat filter,
the Cry Snapchat filter has taken over the world.
Is that where it's coming from?
Yeah.
From Snapchat?
Because I couldn't find it.
I thought it was an Instagram filter
and I couldn't find it.
Oh, no, it's on Snapchat.
That's the best filter I've ever seen.
So for those of you who don't know,
on Snapchat, there's a filter
that just makes it look like
you're bawling fucking crying.
It's the best.
And when you're laughing,
it makes it look so much fucking better. It looks like you're howling crying. It looks like you're uncontling fucking crying. It's the best. And when you're laughing, it makes it look so much fucking better.
It looks like you're howling crying.
It looks like you're uncontrollably crying.
And so what you can also do,
what I just found out,
is you could just go in your camera roll on Snapchat
and just put them on any of them.
You can do it on any picture.
Or you can apply it to a picture.
It's like an old picture.
I've been doing that for hours.
Oh, that's gas.
Just do that to everyone in your contact list.
I've just been sending pictures to my girlfriend
and be like, can I post this?
And it's her just bawling, crying next to me,
smiling my ass off.
It's so good.
Yeah, Jesus made a fucking huge Q3 comeback.
Oh, he's about to.
Yeah, he's about to.
We're going to hit a Yahweh remix, I'm thinking.
Yeah, oh, 100%.
It's been a big month for him.
He got Easter and Mother's Day hitter.
Yeah, it was huge.
Yeah, Jesus is alive and well.
But yeah, my mom was having a grand old time. She got us fucking two quad shot drinks when we walked in the door spent a hundred dollars
i love the christian rock they were serving alcohol that's pretty that's pretty awesome
yeah i like that and there was i can get behind a church ceremony with some fucking booze with
some booze in there and there was definitely though two people on drugs were right next to
us they were like doing laps up and down the stadium stairs
in the middle of the concert.
I was like, we're all sitting down.
What in the hell?
You're sweating.
There's kids here.
So they did it right.
They're the only two people that did it right.
They had to have been rolling ass, dude.
Yeah?
100%.
Did you imagine how fun rolling ass would be at a Christian rock?
You're just up there like, holy fuck, is that Jesus?
You'd probably come out like a born-again Christian.
Well, because let me
paint the picture for you.
So everyone's sitting
in the stadium,
well-ventilated.
It's at the King Stadium.
So like,
it's not like a sweaty,
like we're all in the crowd
type thing,
but they're sweating
like they're in the crowd
type thing.
Oh my God.
And it was fucking awesome.
They sell out that big a stadium
for Christian Rock hitters?
These motherfuckers...
There's no way it was sold out.
No, it was pretty close. It was was sold out. No, it was pretty close.
It was just sold out.
No, no, no.
So their name is for King and Country.
Of course.
But they won like Grammys and shit.
They're like actual artists.
It wasn't like.
Who are they up against in their category?
Jesus.
They're up against the hymns from the Lord.
You can't really lose the Grammy
when you got the Messiah with you.
Yeah, if you're losing to Little Drummer Boy or whatever,
what else you got?
Yeah, but dude, it was as lit as it can be.
They had fucking colored streamers shooting off and shit.
Looked like a good time.
Yeah, it was fun stuff.
You get a bubble thing in a Christian rock hitter?
Dude, there is bubbles in there that...
Whoa.
Suds for the Lord, dude.
Love that.
So we got some
little bit of bullshit
coming up
that we didn't anticipate.
Oh, yeah.
Well, we did anticipate it,
but we just weren't for sure
that we were going to go.
But it's looking like
next weekend
we're going to be at UDC.
Yeah, and I think
you're going to have to,
probably going to have to
come with us.
Probably going to have to
come with us.
Fuck, dude.
The bank account
is like screaming no yeah but
john's thinking yes yeah i mean it's hard to it's hard to miss damn all right i mean i'll you'll
consider it i'll consider but here's the thing which is probably yes if you see us at edc it's
bust down on site yeah yep if you see any of us no you fucking didn't yeah
if i have that weird face on, you know what's up.
Borg's going to have the cry face
without the filter, baby.
Last year's escapades
at the Daisy Carnival
were nothing we're allowed
to speak about.
It was easily the most
obscene weekend of our lives.
And I just can't imagine this one,
us going less hard.
Who's the person this time?
Who do I need to know?
Who do you need to know?
Who do I need to start listening to
so I know a song?
It's just everyone.
Every artist on earth.
Every artist on earth.
Yeah, so I mean.
So I'm good.
Yeah, just follow us around and you'll have a good time.
Okay, okay.
But yeah, I think we're going to be at the campgrounds in an RV,
which will be incredibly dangerous.
Oh, I don't know if I can do.
Dude, that was the one thing about Stagecoach.
100 degrees the entire time.
Yeah.
And the difference between Stagecoach and Coachella
is you guys get the green grass
like the whole time.
Like the grass is nice and watered.
They've been keeping it up all year.
It's dust floor for us.
Yeah.
So it's just dust in your neck,
100 degree weather in an RV.
Was rough.
It was rough.
Yeah, like weekend one,
if you go to Coachella,
like the first two days,
there's like a decent amount of grass.
It definitely like dies out a good amount
just from people stomping on it, like all weekend.
So it's not like pristine after like day one,
but it's still better than whatever you guys have to deal with.
Because you're going two weekends of Coachella.
Yeah, it's just dust.
There's no more grass.
It's dust on the ground.
What's Batman's like light thing called?
The bat signal?
I don't know.
The bat signal.
Should we just get like a middle finger?
Just throw it up in the sky?
And then you know where the RV is?
You know where we are?
Yeah.
Yeah, we should.
Definitely.
That's where the RV is.
We need like a big, gigantic fucking light that shoots into the sky.
Yes.
So people can find us.
Yeah.
That's a pretty fucking good idea.
Yeah, I think we're going to have to do that.
The smartest podcast in the planet,
which brings us to,
here it's acne.
No,
no,
no.
Okay.
So no,
but this is,
this is,
this is for real.
So we've all seen the Johnny Depp trial thing.
Yes.
So I've been,
I've been going back and forth. There needs to be the Johnny Depp trial thing. Yes. So I've been going back and
forth. There needs to be a Johnny Depp challenge and I need help from the interwebs figuring this
out. I was thinking it's something like drink a mega pint of wine, X amount of shots and do
something Jack Sparrow related all without shitting the bed. Now, are you thinking about this like a
drink along while you're watching the trial? Like every time Amber Heard makes a dumb face, all without shitting the bed. Now, are you thinking about this like a drink-along
while you're watching the trial?
Like every time Amber Heard makes a dumb face,
you have to like take a shot?
No, because that's like eight hours a day.
You'd have to be unemployed for sure to do that.
So we could do it.
Yeah, so we just need help
thinking of the Johnny Depp challenge.
Yeah, like something everyone can do.
Yeah, so if you have any ideas,
drop them in the comments and we're going to do it.
We'll do it, yeah. Okay. So if you have any ideas, drop them in the comments and we're going to do it. We'll do it.
Yeah.
Okay.
So Megapint, some sort of drinking.
A box that contains some sort of substance in it.
Yes.
Something.
And then maybe like do Jack Sparrow run around the neighborhood.
So whoever has the best idea for the Johnny Depp challenge, we will do it.
Yeah.
Live.
Fuck it.
Fuck it.
We'll do it live.
We'll do it live.
Yep.
Okay.
Yeah.
So that'll be a fun one.
That'll be a scary one.
You got any other?
The only other thing that I had,
I saw that NFTs are dropping.
Oh, like crazy, yeah.
What the fuck were they ever?
Well, they're fungible now.
They're what?
They're fungible now.
Fungible?
Yeah, they're just FTs.
Oh, they're... No, I mean, all of crypto is in fucking shambles right now.
So it's not just that.
I'm assuming it's correlated.
I just, I never got it,
and it was so big for a while
that I thought I was missing out.
Like, I was like, oh, am I fucking up?
I need to buy a fucking monkey in a dress or whatever.
And then now that it's going down,
I'm like, thank God.
No, I wouldn't say it's going away.
It's just, I think all of crypto and all socks are down.
So people don't have as much money to be throwing around at this shit.
But if you do find them.
That's true.
You can't be buying a monkey when bread's $52.
Yeah.
No, but if you find a monkey in a dress, I guarantee you that's going to bring it back up.
That's going to come back up?
Yeah.
Okay.
That will hold value for sure.
Can we just make, can we like draw a series of like, I don't know, like a penis one?
Yeah, anyone can make one.
Like a dick drawing?
Or just rubber fist ones?
Yeah, something.
The rubber fist NFTs?
100%.
The girthy rubber fist?
Yeah.
And it's just iterations.
The no FOMO series of rubber fists.
Different iterations of rubber fists.
Yes, okay.
That'll be your NFT thing.
I'll make a Twitter
to get that as my avatar.
Wait, so does anybody know
exactly how they work?
We can't go into this.
Yeah.
The internet's already been through it.
It doesn't work, is what I understand.
Yeah, the internet's already been through it.
It's just not going to,
the whole episode will be spent on that.
And it'll just be three people who have no idea
what they're talking about debating how they work.
This will be even dumber than it already is.
Yes, exactly.
Which is impressive.
Are we in the gossip here?
I think we're on to weird.
You want some gossip?
This is kind of like a side part of the gossip.
First thing, just did everyone see the entirety of Ozark so far?
No, no, no, no, no.
You fucking suck.
I almost brought it up before we started today.
Just don't.
It's too soon to spoil it, I think.
I mean, I just.
So last night my Wi-Fi was out for five hours
and I was planning on binging it.
But yeah, I haven't been able to lock it in.
We'll give people a month.
It was good.
It was good.
We'll come back.
Watch that.
Everybody watch it.
In gossip news, Ray J, bombshell interview,
regarding the Kim K final tape.
Oh, really?
He went back in?
I saw that.
So he kind of like
unleashed this nuke.
Basically that the tapes,
the initial tape
was released in conjunction
with Kim and Chris, the mom.
So like it was like
a marketing plan
to like make her a star.
Which we all assumed already.
It was never leaked.
Like people kind of thought
that was the case.
He confirmed it.
He also like,
so did you hear about Kanye going and flying to LAX to meet him to get the hard drive that the second tape was on?
Yes.
So he was like going, like apparently he got when there was a second tape that Ray J's had for 10 years or however long it's been.
Uncut, uncut?
Well, we'll see about this.
So he reveals in the interview that Kanye, he agreed to meet Kanye and give him the computer.
And then in this interview, this was like months ago,
in this interview he reveals
that the only thing on the hard drive was just
old text messages and stuff between him and Kim.
And the tape wasn't even on it.
He says that Kim's had the tape
the whole time. And so there's this
scene from the new Kardashian show on Hulu
of her like crying, thinking
Kanye so much for going to get the last tape.
She's like,
Oh,
I'm just so glad it's in safe hands.
And this bitch has had it the whole time,
which is Ray J side of the story.
So we don't know if it's a hundred percent accurate.
Well,
so what I heard is the reason that he came out and said all this is because
Kim was like saying he was threatening to release it.
And he's like,
no,
I wasn't fucking doing that.
He's like,
he basically was like,
you've had the tape the whole time. You're not going to sit
here and make me look to be a bad person
when you've literally had it the whole time.
So if this is true, these are
the fakest people. I mean, we already know they're the fakest people on the
planet, but this scene, we'd have
to play it. It's so ridiculous.
She's crying.
They're all thanking Kanye so much for going to
retrieve this hard drive, and there was no
threat of the tape ever being released because he
gave it to her like years ago. And can
we get the tape
though? I don't know. I think it's locked
up. We need the tape.
No, we won't get the people to get it.
Someone might be able to get it.
I will be refreshing the top viewed on the hub
frequently. This does
explain why Kim K hopped back into the top
25 though in the past couple
weeks. Yeah, there's been a lot of talk. There's been a lot of talk. She's always in top 100 just
because everyone- I mean, she has the most view. It's the most viewed of all time. Yeah.
Yeah. She did pop in the top 25 and I was like, what's going on? Yeah. Now we know. So it says
Kanye had no idea that his ex-wife Kim Kardashian already had the only copy of the second sex tape.
And so he was the big hero that flew and met with Ray J for four hours at LAX.
And he comes back with this big suitcase
of like an actual like Mac computer
and like a hard drive.
And apparently the only thing on it
was just like text messages and nothing relevant.
So we'll let us get those at least.
Fake as fuck.
He's the hero we need though.
Fake as fuck.
And then in other news,
since we missed last week,
we didn't get to talk about the
Dave Chappelle attack. Oh, shit.
That was... I was on Twitter
right when that happened. Yeah, that was fucking crazy.
So the guy had a fucking knife
on him, comes, tries to
tackle Chappelle on stage,
and then gets the living fuck beat out of him
by his security. But they're
only pressing, like, four
misdemeanor charges.
I thought they weren't pressing any charges.
No, but no felony charges.
Oh, that's what it was.
So he's charged with...
Because the knife
was a rubber fist.
It was the no FOMO rubber fist.
So the counts were battery,
possession of a weapon
with intent to assault.
How is that not a fucking felony?
How is it not already
just assault?
But like,
if you have a knife on you,
like if he got the opportunity,
he is probably going to use it.
So we're saying like,
you can tackle someone with a knife on you?
You can try and if it doesn't work out,
you won't get the full charge.
What the fuck is that?
Well, I guess if you don't have it out.
It's not illegal to have a knife on you.
Oh, so he didn't like, he wasn't like wielding it.
No, but like, what do you think was going to happen?
Yeah.
If he got him down,
you don't think he was going
to pull that shit out?
I thought it was fake for a second.
I thought it was like a staged thing.
Yeah, and then Chris Rock comes out.
Yeah, because I was like,
oh, that's too good.
So that's fucking insane.
And yeah, like he's just pleaded
not guilty to all four counts
and he's going to be back in court next week.
How was he pleading not guilty? Yo, not guilty to all four counts, and he's going to be back in court next week. How was he pleading not guilty?
Yo, not guilty.
Well, sir, there's a video of it happening,
so good luck with that one.
But yeah, Dave, Chappelle's fucking pissed.
Maybe he thought Chappelle had a knife.
Hey, so he was trying to protect the crowd.
He was trying to protect the crowd.
Yeah, you got to think sometimes.
So yeah, it was kind of a slow week for any big celeb news.
I was digging and digging.
That was, that's pretty good news for us.
I mean, those are the biggest stories.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's all we need.
That's what we got.
Okay.
We got down bad of the week.
Down bad of the week.
Who wants to go first?
Because I think I got this one.
You think you already won?
Yeah.
Well, I'll start with mine.
Mine is my girlfriend.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, boy.
So we obviously had a great time in cabo and everything but she got sunburned
beyond all belief and her lips got so sunburned that they look like a life raft like she like
the girl from euphoria with the big lips exactly on par with like red lipstick on them. Yeah, it's like, it's so bad.
And then she got sick because she just can't, she can't hang.
She can't hang for five days.
You can't hang.
You can't do five days in a row of just getting plastered.
And then she's got a sore throat, not from the sick.
Okay.
But yeah.
Not from the sick.
That's the weirdest way to say that.
I know, that was the weirdest.
You're usually the big sunburn guy,
which I'm surprised you're absolutely bronzed right now.
Dude, I'm just, I figured it out, dude.
SPF 100.
What day of the trip did she get this brutal burn?
Uh, the last day.
Okay, at least it wasn't day one.
Yeah, because she was like trying,
she was upset that I was so tan.
Of course.
And then, so she was like,
I'm going to stay out another couple hours in the sun.
And not wear any sunscreen.
And just go for a burn so it turns into a tan.
And it was all bad from there.
Just torched?
Yeah.
Torched to the point where you can't move?
She's wearing the mask on the plane home,
and there's a big bulge right there.
I'm just like, holy shit.
That's pretty damn bad.
She couldn't even wear a mask if she wanted to
because the lips would just push it off.
Absolutely not.
Yeah, it's like falling over.
It's actually holding it up better.
Yeah, I feel that.
Jesus Christ.
What do you got, big Gerald?
I got a repeat offender.
I got Amber Heard.
I wanted to do that.
The most recent couple videos of her,
I can't tell if she just is lying
or she's trying to play it up to be so much worse than it is,
but it's like watching a really bad movie.
So going with that,
did you remember when they had the psychiatrist,
the hot one, up there,
and she's talking about this is what her mania thing presents as?
Yeah.
She's explaining it, and she's like,
it's going to seem like she's going to use
a bunch of crazy descriptive words.
She'll talk and explain a scenario that's big and long,
and then you'll be like, what was the point?
And so she's saying all this stuff about how it presents,
and then they just cut to clips of her, and it's what she's doing dude it's so strange like it looks really really bad have you seen all this stuff about they think
she was doing blow and stuff yeah what the fuck was that the little like she brings like a tissue
up to her nose and like oh yeah she legit goes like inhales and then goes like yeah a couple
more times like inward oh a little bit of clean.
And did you see all the videos of her, like, stashing it in different
places? No. She, like, puts it in her sleeve
and then, like, rolls up her sleeve. You're kidding.
And all this, yeah, it's all over the place. Oh, so she's actually doing
blow. I think she's actually doing
some fucking bumpers on stand.
Oh my god. Well, if you're gonna sway the jury,
you gotta have that thing on you.
Yeah. That's true. You gotta be on yourself.
It just came off so fucking fake
and just bad.
I just can't get enough of that.
There's a couple articles
like why Johnny Depp has already 100% won this case.
Yeah, she's pretty damn bad.
But this guy.
Here we go.
Down worse.
Okay, so I got into like a 3 a.m. Reddit red hole.
Red hole? Reddit the hole. Red 3 a.m. Reddit red hole. Red hole?
Reddit the hole.
Red hole.
Red hole.
Reddit red hole.
It's a black hole, but it's a Reddit black hole, so it's a red hole.
Yeah, so this is on r slash no stupid questions.
The title is, my girlfriend goes on 24 to 48 hour long drug and alcohol benders,
and I don't know how I feel about it.
Oh, God.
And he proceeds to write, I'll go out for drinks with my girlfriend. We'll have fun. Then she would generally want to stay out at about three
to 3 30 AM. I'll go home to bed. I feel like that's a solid night. And she would choose to stay out
because she doesn't want the night to end. She's already been drinking heaps of alcohol and taking
lines to stay awake. She'll end up with a group of five to six people might be us i think we fuck out with your
girlfriend kicking at kicking it at someone's place and keep on going to the next afternoon
taking lines and drinking with three other guys oh god it go it gets deeper than that but the guy
just doesn't know what to do about it jeez break up with her first of all well sir you're getting cheated on repeatedly on continuous 24 to 40 hour
sprees yeah can you imagine how like she's just waiting for him to be like oh i'm tired and go
home and she's like thank god finally yeah i can party holy shit and then he goes on reddit
yeah oh there's gonna fix it is Reddit.
But I think it,
it goes without saying that guy's down the worst.
Well,
like that's usually,
it's funny.
Cause it's usually the other way around.
Right?
Yeah.
Like we've all had those nights where our girlfriend's like,
Oh,
you know,
it's time to fucking wrap it up.
And I'm just like,
absolutely not.
And I've like,
not to,
I'm not going to sound like a great guy,
but I've like sent my ex-girlfriend
home in an uber and just stayed out with the boys but it's usually that like that way right
yeah not the girlfriend's like begging to go out well and the other thing about this it's not like
he's calling it a night at 10 30 he's like i'm 3 30 he's like all right babe let's go home that's
a fair thing like she was trying to go home at like 12 or 1 i'd be like you know i'm gonna stay
out to like two or three but this is like 3 3.30 and she's still – that's like –
We're talking two hours and the sun's up and he's like, hey, come on.
That's like scary hours.
Nothing good happens after 3.
Well, no, he's saying she stays out until the next day.
Yeah, in the afternoon.
Yeah.
And then the fact that he goes usually with about three other guys.
Yeah.
Bro, come on.
Come on, bro.
Let me tell you something.
She is popular late night.
She's everyone's favorite girl
that you got with late night.
Because I'll say this.
We have our handful of degenerate nights,
but I would say unless it's like Vegas or EDC,
like you go home.
Oh, yeah.
No, very rarely.
You guys?
Okay.
I mean, very rarely.
It's not like a super consistent thing.
But this guy, it sounds like it's a weekendly thing.
Yeah, Jesus.
So were any of the comments different from anything we said,
I think everyone in the world would have the same.
Yeah, they were all pretty much saying,
you gotta get rid of her.
You're down.
You're down.
You're down.
Down bad of the week, this fucking guy from Reddit, 100%.
Anonymous Reddit poster.
He has my vote.
R slash no stupid questions, bud.
Goldmine?
Stupid fucking question, dude.
Yeah, that is it.
No dumb questions, but that was dumber than shit.
I feel like that's not something I need the internet's take on.
That's like ask a couple of your good friends,
hey, you've seen what's been going on.
What's the deal with this?
They're like, dump the fuck out of her.
Well, his friends are with this girl.
They're all like, no, no, you guys are good.
No, dude, she takes a nap, I swear.
She's so fun.
Terrifying. That guy so fun. Terrifying.
That guy's down.
Terrifying.
All right, boys.
Hit me.
Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, Okay, I keep doing a different one, but I don't remember what's there. Yeah, you always go with Dumbledore's theme.
We're talking about Hogwarts theme, my boy.
Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.
That's Dumbledore.
Yeah, that's what I want.
That's Dumbledore's theme, dude.
They both just, in my mind, they just like, whatever one.
They're back to back.
Whatever note pops in first is the one I go with.
I feel that.
Both great songs, okay?
Great, great.
Absolutely.
If they were on Spotify,
they might be on Spotify.
Oh, yeah.
They are.
They got to be platinum.
They be.
Yeah.
They be.
They be.
All right.
We got our first fan submission question this week from Krista Wishman
at Krista R Wish on Instagram.
With a C.
With a K.
W-I-S-C-H.
Oh, yeah.
Krista with a K.
Yeah.
But Wish.
Wishman.
Wish.
Wish I had a C in my name.
Shout out Krista for...
Is it Kristen or Krista?
Krista.
Krista.
Thanks for your submission.
I thought it was Krista R,
but that must be your middle name.
Krista R. Wishman.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
Shout out.
Krista.
Shout out Krista.
Is it a guy?
It's a Pokemon.
It's a Pokemon. Krista. It's K-star. K-star. Krista. Okay. All right. Krister. Shout out Krister. Is it a guy? It's a Pokemon. It's a Pokemon.
Krister.
It's K-Star.
K-Star.
Krister.
Okay.
All right.
Read the fucking question.
Read the fucking question before I have an aneurysm.
Okay.
The question goes, can slash do guys get the ick and what are your guys' top icks?
Okay.
Before we get into this, I want to know like what you guys define the ick as because I
hear girls throwing this word around.
So that's why I love this question because guys don't talk about shit like this.
Okay, so an ick is
something that kills your initial attraction
to someone. It's like an early stage thing, right?
So for girls,
it's not early stage. It can be late stage.
They're already into someone
and then they do this thing.
I'd say within the first six months stage.
You don't just get the ick for someone
you've been dating for three years.
For me, mine are so instant.
But I'm saying it's not something you get when you're dating someone for three years.
All of a sudden, they give you the ick.
That's just like, I don't like this person anymore.
No, it's something that when you're meeting and getting to know someone.
It's in the dating stage.
Okay, yes.
Just wanted to get that defined for the guys who don't even know what that means.
Yeah.
So an ick is something that just.
It's a turn off.
But not just like, ooh, that turns me off a little bit.
It's like turns off the entire not just like, ooh, that turns me off a little bit. It's like, turns off the entire person.
You go like,
yes.
It's a shiver.
It's a visible thing.
It's a...
I like that.
I like that you guys
both did that.
All right.
Who wants to...
I mean, to answer,
first of all, yes, we do.
Yes, guys, do get it.
Yes.
We just don't usually
call it that.
But yes.
It's the same premise.
The biggest one for me
and this is undebatable is if they fake laugh or say that's so funny instead of laughing oh that's
so good if you sit there and i say something funny that's so funny oh god just laugh just
laugh yeah yeah laugh if it was funny you laughed then. You know what yours just went right in the fucking mind? Having an annoying voice.
Yeah.
I mean, yeah. If someone has a weird voice,
it's just... You know that girl that's like, there's that clip
where she's like,
what's that? The guy's like, you know, you do that
and then it's like,
you go,
mm-mm.
Or like the
Uncut Gems girl. Uncut John.
See, the annoying voice thing would be like,
you wouldn't even have the opportunity to give me the ick
because I just wouldn't talk to you.
Well, no, like you see a cute girl like at the bar or something
and then you go up to talk to her and she has like an annoying voice.
So that's like a phase one.
Very immediate ick.
Yeah.
I know this is a huge one for girls and it's like when you come on too strong,
but it also goes both ways because I think the thing about like dating a new
girl, the fun part is kind of like the chase. You're like, Ooh, you know,
you're trying to sort it out.
So when they're just immediately like want to hang out every day,
which is like, which works for both men and women.
But I'd say for men, that's definitely one as well.
Yeah. It's all about just feeling out the vibe. I feel like, like if you're,
yeah, it's, it's just what it always is. Yeah.
But if they're like, so obviously way too, yeah, it's just what it always is. Yeah. But if they're like so obviously way too into you,
it's right off the bat, it's a little concerning.
Yeah.
Well, it takes a lot of fun.
You get into crazy girl territory there.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Next one I had is the too long nails.
Like if it goes past a certain length.
Because I do like if you have like a little bit of nail
for the head scratchy game.
Like the fake ones you're talking about?
Yeah, but when it's the fake ones.
Oh, they're real and they're that long.
Don't even look at me.
Your name might be Geary.
Fuck you.
My next one was sloppy drunk.
They get sloppy drunk to the point
where they can't stand up straight.
It's okay every once in a while.
We all do that.
Yeah, it happens. It's like a once a year thing. But if it's your second once in a while. We all do that. Yeah, it happens.
It's like a once a year thing.
But like,
if it's like your second
or third time hanging out
and you're like at a bar
or something together
and she's just like falling and shit,
you're just like,
oh, fuck.
Yeah, or if they're,
this piggybacks off of that,
if they get like,
they want to like sloppy make out
all the time in front of people,
like, and you guys are like just,
you're not even like officially dating.
Like if you're like blacked out
at a bar with your girlfriend,
like, yeah, go ahead, get all over me. But if you guys are like barely, like people don't even know you're not even like officially dating like if you're like blacked out at a bar with your girlfriend like yeah go ahead get all over me
but if you guys are like barely like people don't even know
you're like dating and they're like sloppily
just trying to make out with you in front of all your friends
you're just like eh you know
too much PDA early on
that's kind of like
I mean along with yours I just don't want to have to take care
of someone every single time
especially someone like if it's my girlfriend
I'll take care of you no matter what
and I'm not judging you for being too drunk like we all get, like, if it's my girlfriend, I'll take care of you no matter what.
And I'm not judging you for being too drunk.
Like,
we all get fucked up.
But if it's like weird dating
and I'm already taking care of you,
like,
no thank you.
Like,
I had to hold your hand
a couple weeks ago
and that's okay.
Yeah,
because you're my boy.
Yeah.
You know?
We do that.
That's what we do.
I do that anytime.
Yeah,
that's what we do.
Yeah,
sober.
Sober.
Let's do it.
Back to you?
Is it?
I think it's Garrett.
Well,
mine was kind of piggyback.
Oh,
his piggyback.
Yeah.
And then I just had,
this one kind of is like specific for me.
The pick me girl.
You know what I'm talking about?
Do you do explain?
So a pick me girl to me,
because it has a lot of definitions is a girl who waits for a consensus on
anything and then choose the opposite of it to seem cool. Oh yeah. a girl who waits for a consensus on anything
and then choose the opposite of it to seem cool.
Oh, yeah.
So, like, a lot of people call pick-me girls, like,
oh, I like to hang out with boys because girls are so much drama.
But for me, it's like everyone in the room is like,
oh, yeah, I do love Krispy Kreme when I'm high.
That's good.
And they're like, actually?
Annoying voice.
Yeah.
It always happens.
It just came out.
That whole person came out. Two for one right there. Yeah, the pick-me girls is always paired with an annoying voice it just came out that whole person came out
the pick me girls
is always paired
with an annoying voice
so I see why
it comes
it comes in
it's just their whole
vibe is just that
and it's a no
but you know
if the group
switched their decision
to the other side
they would be like
actually Krispy Kreme
is the best
yeah
that's gonna be a no.
That's a hard ick.
I'm just out 10 times out of 10.
Okay, my next one was completely unshaved down low.
Oh.
Interesting.
That's less of like a personal ick and more of just an ew.
You know?
Interesting.
Like a little bit I'm okay with, but just like Bush City,
I'm not trying to go to Bush City.
Oh, completely unshaved.
I thought you were against completely shaved.
And I was like, whoa.
No, no, no.
We love that.
We love it.
Here at NoFoma, we love it.
We love it.
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
No, yeah, and then another one of mine is just like,
as you slowly start to see
how little they get along with your friend circle.
Oh, that's nuts.
This isn't like a specific thing, but it's always something about the way they,
like, because there's always a phase where they're pretending to like your friends.
Yeah.
And then like a month in, you start to see like,
oh, they were just faking it and going along with everything.
The opposite of a pick-me girl just agreeing with everything.
And then about a month in, they start to reveal that they're nothing like you guys.
Finally showing the colors.
And you're like, oh, you actually suck.
Oh, fuck.
Wow.
I'm out.
Yeah.
I should have said this one earlier when you said the too much PDA,
but when they only want to, like, grind on you at the club,
like when you're dancing or something,
and all they want to do is just.
I've grown to not, like.
I hate it grinding at all.
Dude, at, like, festivals, like, I'm trying to like i'm trying to like rage watch down with you
like especially like house music and shit like it's fun to dance with a girl a little bit but
like i don't i can't think of even any type of music i'm down to just like grind i'm having more
fun dancing on my own than with a girl yeah i'm trying to figure out what my limbs can do and
shit yeah it's house music yeah like what what really can i do yeah i've kind of just grown out
of just grinding.
I feel like that's like something you love in like high school,
you do in college,
and you just kind of like,
I'm down to just like talk to you and dance next to you,
but like I don't need the grinding.
Bro, I grew up in the Bay Area.
I used to have motherfuckers holding me up,
and I'm, yeah.
We used to be doing that. No, don't get me wrong.
It used to be the thing to do.
But now it's like,
unless you're like,
unless you meet a girl at a concert
and you obviously can't talk to each other,
you do a little bump and grind.
You do one to let her know,
hey, yeah, I'm in.
One thrust.
And then it's like, yeah.
If you bring a girl to a concert with you,
maybe you dance for a little bit.
I'm not trying to grind it out the whole time.
Yeah, we don't need to grind it out.
It's taxing.
And I don't get to express myself enough.
But if it's me and Jeebus or me and Jay.
Oh, yeah.
That's the main thing.
I need room right there for my boy.
If you're there, my boy should be there.
You're in the way of my boy.
If there's not rooms for my boy.
He used to be a leave room for Jesus.
Now it's leave room for Bungess, you know?
Exactly.
I love how you rhyme Jesus and Bungess right there.
I mean, they just go together like fucking peaches and cream.
All right.
Let's see here.
Oh, so shout out.
That was a fucking great question.
Shout out, Krista.
Yeah, keep coming with that kind of shit.
Yeah, keep bringing fun topics, you know?
We'll shout you out.
We'll discuss it in depth.
You're part of the gang?
And you're part of the gang.
Oh, she came out of hibernation to send that too.
Oh, yeah.
She did state that she like has not even had an Instagram for like months. And she like re-loggedbernation to send that too. Oh yeah, she did state that she has not even had
an Instagram for months and she
re-logged in just to send this question in.
Should we make a no FOMO crew?
Keep a list going of... Discord?
Oh yeah. We're making a Discord.
We'll make a Discord. Anyone who submits
we'll add you in there and you can just throw
questions in there.
FOMO Sapiens Discord coming soon.
Alright, so for now it's us and Krista. We love you Krista. FOMO Sapiens Discord coming soon. Yeah. All right, so for now, it's us and Krista.
We love you, Krista.
The real crew.
Or Krista W.
Whatever.
We're moving on.
Or Krista R.
Krista R.
Okay.
We're moving on.
We're moving on.
Is it Weishman?
I think it's Weichmann.
It might be German.
It could be German.
There's a waa in there.
All right, stop.
Stop. stop.
Okay.
So things to say slash do when you can't get it up.
I got keep drinking and continue to make a fool out of yourself for four hours straight.
The all-time classic is I promise it's not you.
I promise it's not you?
Well, because sometimes you'll feel bad.
Like, oh, why can't you get it up? Oh, can't get it up.
Yes, yes, yes.
You're just like, well, I'm sorry.
It's not your fault.
I've had fucking 14 Jack and Cokes tonight.
Yeah.
I had, uh,
looks like there's going to be
two more weeks of winter.
Yeah.
There he is.
Uh, I got, um,
imagine all the boys right behind you
rooting you on.
Oh, that's something
to think about
oh you're trying to think of things that help you
an action for me is
just be like oh I have to pee so bad
hit the bathroom and just you're just in there
working it
I might even have to pull up like a go to
video of mine just to get something working
that's a good call
I tried to think of some
real ones for this one this time.
Just to
really bring it back.
I
just would say something like
sorry you look too much like a girl.
Right on
top of that I got put the wig on Garrett.
Oh shit.
Hold on let me get my boy in here to help me out.
I have just completely changed the setup.
It'd be like crazy fucking weather we're having, right?
Yeah.
Just divert attention.
Just pretend we're not even trying to have sex anymore.
It's like, so that's been fucking crazy weather lately, right?
If it's one where I was really into the girl and it didn't work,
I'd be like, I think we're just moving way too fast.
Okay, yeah.
I'll try and see my kid at night. That might work. Yeah, just be like, hey, I think this is going way too work, I'd be like, I think we're just moving way too fast. Okay, yeah. That might work.
Yeah, just be like, hey, I think this is going way too quick.
Yeah, I'm not.
Mentally, I'm two bases behind where we're at right now.
Or just say you have to be emotionally in it.
That's almost a backfire one.
Yeah, that's not going to work.
Sorry, I'm not emotionally invested whatsoever.
I'm thinking about somebody else.
In this scenario, you just met. Well, thinking about something else was another one of mine. That might work. Yeah, that to work. Sorry, I'm not emotionally invested whatsoever. I'm thinking about somebody else. In this scenario,
you just met. Well, thinking about something else was another one of mine. That might work. Yeah, that could work. Think about
someone else. Mostly the
boys. Oh, it's a great start today.
Okay. Things
to say slash do when you finish too
quickly. I got a
claim to be a big round two guy, then
immediately fall asleep.
Say, give me five for round two
and then sleep after this.
I'll be ready to go in just a moment.
My honestly go-to is just oopsies.
Oopsies, I like that.
I say that too often.
I got to give a little shout out for this one
because I was struggling.
So then I just asked my girlfriend
and she had a lot ready all of a sudden.
She was like, oh, you're struggling with this one?
I got a lot of ones you say.
I have all of your lines written down.
I had something kind of along with oopsies
was okay, bye, LOL.
Oopsie, bye.
To go with that one,
I got the black dude disappearing meme.
To go with that one, I got the black dude disappearing meme.
That wasn't me.
That wasn't me.
That could work.
I'm not sure where all this liquid is coming from.
I have say nothing and just keep pounding it out,
acting like nothing happened.
That actually was one of mine, too. That is usually the move.
Just kind of ride it out as long as you can.
Roll up that thing in there and slam away.
You just keep going until they notice.
Be like, oh, wow.
God.
I got, kind of going off the last one,
sorry I was thinking about dudes.
Maybe came too quick.
I don't know about that one.
Yeah, so that one?
I mean, that's if you're being dead honest.
Yeah, if you're being honest.
It's about things you can get away with saying.
Okay, okay.
These are lies.
The truth isn't one of those things.
Okay.
So I got put the wig back on Garrett.
This one's a little bit of a stretch.
A wizard is never late, nor is he early.
He comes precisely when he means to.
I love that.
That's beautiful.
I have just a classic for me.
Sorry it's been a while.
That's fair.
Hey, I had a lot saved up.
You really triggered something a little too early.
These things were full.
Yeah, these.
They were begging to be drained.
My last one was just straight up say, Grandma, I'm sorry.
You're disgusting.
I was waiting.
I was waiting for a shut the fuck up, Mom.
Yeah, waiting for something that was just absolutely out of pocket.
I think that's it for me.
That's all for me.
Okay.
Companies we have beef with.
Yep.
I'm fired up for this one.
I like this one.
Lead us up, baby.
The first one,
and this one hurts to say
because it is a favorite brand of mine.
I already know where we're going.
Taco Bell.
Yep.
Okay.
Keep the fucking fries.
Yep.
Or don't.
Stop taking away the nacho fries.
But don't keep fucking dangling them in my face. Yeah. I just don't like
that I don't know when they're going to be there
and when they're not. I don't have the newsletter.
If they have an app where it's like, oh, they're back
and it notifies you. Okay. At least I'm
in the know. They should have the fucking
bat signal of the fries up
when they have them and when they don't.
How good does it feel when you go back and they're back?
And they randomly have them. Oh my god. And you know what?
That's why they keep doing it.
That's a whole other level of euphoria.
Nacho fries, maybe.
But if they were like seasonal,
that's something I can keep track of, right?
Oh, March 1st, they're back.
It's spring.
Nacho fries are back.
It's McRib season.
It's nacho fries.
Give us a fucking clue here, people.
Yeah.
For me, this is a very recent one that I just discovered
that I didn't have beef with before.
But Wendy's put out the Wendy's Biggie Bag,
and they didn't hit us up to sponsor them.
That's fucked up.
The Biggie Bag?
The Biggie Bag.
The Wendy's Biggie Bag.
What's in the Biggie Bag?
It's a Biggie Bag.
It's big.
It's huge.
Too many words to describe it.
I mean, I have one that I feel like everyone can relate to here.
Fucking DoorDash.
I tried to order an $8 meal from Chick-fil-A the other day,
and the total before tip was $25 fucking dollars.
So I'm like, okay, I'm going to pay $25
for a lukewarm fucking sandwich.
I think the best thing about that beef is
is that you do it every time.
Oh, you still do it?
Yeah.
You just sit there and ashamed of yourself.
It's getting old, man.
It's getting old.
Like, explain to me the fees involved
to where it gets from $8 to $25 before the tip.
Because the delivery is supposedly like $1.99.
So what else am I being charged for?
Supposedly $1.99.
Yeah.
It's fucking bullshit.
I have Little Caesars.
Do you have all the same ones as me, dude?
We might.
We eat frequent a lot.
What beef do we have with Little Caesars?
Tell them.
It's not the cheesiest.
No.
And it's not the most bestest.
It's true.
Okay?
It's true.
It simply isn't.
Is it okay?
Yes, it's okay.
If they said the okayest and the most average cheesest,
I'm all in.
Dude, people would be flying off the shelves.
But for $6, I don't think you're allowed to complain.
Yeah, if their tagline was, for $6, it's pretty solid. Yeah, for $6, I don't think you're allowed to complain. Yeah, if their tagline was for $6, it's pretty solid.
Yeah, for $6, it's the solidest.
Yeah, the solidest most averages.
For $6, it's the best.
Mine was a little bit different take on that.
So they came out strong with the $5 hot and ready.
Yes.
But then they just kept on making that $7 hitter way better
and the $5 hitter way worse.
Yeah.
That's my view.
What's the $7 hitter?
The extra most bestest.
Big debt.
Oh, that's the most bestest? Yeah, it's $2 more. So the hot and ready still exists, but it's ass. It's $5. What'd they do to view. What's the $7 hitter? The Extra Most Bestest. Big debt. Oh, that's the Most Bestest?
Yeah.
So the Hot and Ready
still exists,
but it's ass.
It's $5.
What'd they do to it?
It's always $5.
They took away some cheese?
It just looks ass.
It tastes ass.
Yeah.
The Ass is Most Assest?
They slowly made
one of them $2 more
and way better
just so that you'll want
to buy the better one.
I mean, it's still
the Extra Most Bestest.
I mean, they call it
the Extra Most Bestest
for the look of it.
Yeah, so I'm buying it.
Yeah.
For $2? I don't even know any other order little guy. So I'm buying it. Yeah. For $2?
I don't even know any other order.
Yeah.
And I'm having trouble breathing for hours.
Yeah.
We were on a tear when we were living together.
We used to be extra most.
We used to go there, I'd say, once a week.
Yeah.
And just either get our own or just split a whole pizza.
And feel the absolute worstest.
The extra most worstest.
Feel that cheesiest fucking house. That was fucking brutal.
The stomach most,
the stomach most achiest.
Oh, fuck.
Another quick one I got
is just Chick-fil-A
fucking figure it out
on Sundays.
Figure it out on Sundays.
I'd say 70% of the time
I want it is on Sunday
and they're close.
Part of Jesus being back
this quarter.
Yeah, that's,
jump on the train. Yeah. Jesus is close. Part of Jesus being back this quarter. Yeah, that's a jump on the train.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Jesus is back.
The filet is back.
Yeah.
Let's bring the fucking sandwiches back on Sundays.
Like where, what?
You know how many billions of dollars
they're probably losing by being closed one day a week?
I actually read a thing that they make more money doing that.
Yeah, so did I.
Really?
Yeah.
What's on what?
It's like,
just forces you to fucking set a reminder, dude.
Like you, people want to,
because it's not open every day,
you're like, ooh, I have to get it
either Saturday or Monday if I want it.
Because you have to get it.
Like you have to plan to get it.
That's true.
That's pretty crazy.
If Jesus were to come back,
they would open.
It would just have to be just to say,
y'all need to open.
Y'all need to open.
They'd open after service, church service.
Yeah.
For sure.
Which is like, I'm not even awake before then.
But it gets out at 11 or noon, then I'm there.
We have no idea when church ends.
Can you tell me I can't get a spicy chicken Sandy
after the fucking good Lord sermon on a Sunday?
Fuck that.
Unbelievable.
How am I supposed to properly honor him?
Yeah.
Go to fucking Burger King?
Can't do it.
It's fucking embarrassing.
That's honestly probably like worshiping the wrong God.
That's right.
That's Satanism.
It's paganism.
Pagan.
Or whatever that word is.
Carol, what do we say here?
I'm going to phone a friend of my mom.
Garrett?
You got another one?
I mean, Chick-fil-A was mine.
Okay.
I got one more.
And this one hurts to say.
Trader Joe's.
Ooh.
Ooh, Trader?
Stop making a better version of everything that I like.
That's fair. So that I have to go to Trader Joe's to get it now. So fair. Trader Joe's ooh ooh Trader stop making a better version of everything that I like that's fair so that I have to go to
Trader Joe's to get it now
so fair
Trader Joe's fucking kills it
they have a best version
of everything
have you had the pretzel chips
no they have better than
they have better than
regular pretzel chips
dude they're
really
I can't even eat
regular ones anymore
the Prips
the Prips dude
the tea chips
but they only have like
one flavor of everything
I feel like
but it's so fucking good
it's so good
are they the everything ones or what kind no they have have like one flavor of everything, I feel like. But it's so fucking good. It's so good. Are they the everything
ones or what kind? No, they have like three flavors.
They have everything. They have like a parmesan
cheese fucking smacker.
You know what I discovered from there
recently is the everything flavored
kettle chips. Fuck me up, dude.
They're fucking gas. Put everything seasoning on everything.
Yep.
My last one was any company
that auto-ops you into marketing emails?
Oh yeah, fuck that.
I'm coming for you.
You know what I like that they,
or don't like,
is that they'll put the,
like agree to the whatever contract thing,
and they'll have it pre-clicked
like the sign me up for shit.
And so you don't even notice it
because you're like,
oh, I need to click both of those
to get everything done.
And then sometimes you're just like,
oh, I obviously need to check both of these
because you don't read it at all
because you don't give a fuck.
And then all of a sudden,
you're getting fucking three emails a week.
Yeah.
A week a day.
Unfucking believable.
All right.
I think my favorite thing here,
things you could say during sex and at a funeral.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Who wants to start this one?
Okay. It's going to get dark. It wants to start this one? Okay.
It's going to get dark.
It's going to get so fucked up.
Grandma, if you could hear me right now, I love you.
Oh, God.
I'm sorry.
That's a rough start.
Oh, God.
I just have, I'm so sorry for your loss.
I like that one.
That's a good one.
I had, it's okay to cry.
I knew it was going to get dark.
Grandma, if you're with us right now,
just know that we fucking love you.
No, no.
I have a, your mother was a great woman.
That's a good one.
That's a good one.
Why am I still bricked up?
God damn it.
I just miss grandma so much.
Grandma.
So this is usually something you only hear from like a girl.
Is this almost over?
Ooh, that's mean on multiple levels.
I think everyone in the room was touched by them.
You're right.
Especially Grandma.
Yeah, that's the dark side of the moon, ladies and gentlemen.
As soon as we decided to do this, I was like,
thinking of them, I was like, oh, these are all...
I couldn't think of one that wasn't horrible.
Yeah, very dark.
We set that up to be really bad.
That's that.
Okay, I really reached deep a one that wasn't horrible. Yeah. Very darn. We set that up to be really bad. So that's that. Okay.
I really reached
deep in the bag for these.
You find it in...
Nice.
Can he speak?
Yep.
Can he speak, though?
Is English in the cards today?
That's the Zen water.
You find an encoded
treasure map on a desert...
You can't do it.
Fuck you, dude.
He can't speak today.
You can't do it.
That's going to be our episode.
Too many syllables. If there's more than three, I can't do it. That's going dude. You can't speak today. Too many syllables.
If there's more than three, I can't do it. That's going to be today's episode
because Morgan lost his ability to conjure up
an English sentence. You find an encoded
treasure map on a deserted island.
What's your drug of choice for finding the
buried treasure? Drug of choice
for finding the buried treasure? Like, you're
saying, like, how am I going to solve this map and find it?
And you have to. You have to do one.
See, I'm split between two here.
Because I'm thinking in encoded math,
I'm going to need to be in a higher level of thinking.
Yeah.
Do I want to go in the experimental route
and do some LSD or some mushrooms?
You know, so I'm thinking outside the box.
Or am I just ripping a whole bag
and just fucking trying to just grind through it?
I think the focus level would be highest that way.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
But if there is a puzzle increment to it.
Yeah, it's encoded.
That's the tricky part.
Oh, it's encoded.
Yeah, so you have to figure out
how the fuck you're figuring it out.
I think it would be the most fun on mushrooms.
I'm going to go mushrooms.
But I have a feeling I'd look at it
and I'd just start cracking up.
Is the treasure more of the drug that I took?
We don't know.
Because then that could change my choice.
That could change everything.
Yeah, you have, it's one and two, a big bag or mushrooms.
Yeah, right?
There's only two options.
Because a mushroom, a mushroom.
Mushrooms you're thinking way outside the box.
Maybe you're figuring out that code pretty quick.
Or you could just figure it out without even doing it.
You just like stumble around and kind of figure it out. Yeah you might just just walk on wandering around giggling oh there's
the x fuck but a big bag you're gonna figure it out that's what i'm saying like on shrooms i might
just end up staring at the map and laughing for an hour yeah that's fair uh yeah big bag big bag
i think i'm gonna stick with shroomy okay okay Just for the fun aspect of it. Okay. It'd be fun if we were all looking for it
and all took something different.
Fair.
I got a good one.
Okay.
What's one style choice you would make
if you knew your friends wouldn't make fun of you
for doing it?
Something I would like wish I could wear.
Yeah, something you wish you could do,
but you know we would roast the fuck out of you for it
so you've never done it.
I feel like any admission to anything in this
is you're just going to get destroyed.
Yes, that's what I want, though.
I can't think of anything off the tops.
I got it.
Blonder hair.
I was just going to say Morg does it anyway.
Yeah, Morg already does that and still gets roasted.
I was thinking for you, maybe wear a non-base color.
Like branch out and get like a red shirt or something crazy.
No, see, my thing is I see stuff with like designs on it,
but I would want to make my own.
Like if there's going to be text on it,
I want it to be something I thought of.
Okay.
And I just get to the point
where I just don't have the fucking energy to cure them.
See, this one's a difficult one
because in our group of friends,
if you buy a new pair of regular tennis shoes, you're getting shit on.
No matter what.
It can be the most basic thing.
If you're just wearing a new clothing item, roast sick.
It doesn't have to be an outlandish choice.
I had to do one new style a year for eight years to finally get to where I am.
Oh, you had to space it out.
You were like, this is the end point. It's going to take me eight years
to get there. You had to slowly
work your way into looking like a normal person.
Because I remember one time I went too hard
and then you want to go home.
Was that when you did the super tight
jeans? No, it was the
hair slicked back and then like
the very boho like green
jeans. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That was slightly, we gave you a little bit of an off on that
because we thought it was your girlfriend
that did it for you.
Now that I know that was you.
It was.
It was probably her.
Yeah.
She was trying to style you.
Like, I would have never made that decision.
She was trying to style you.
I'd say for me,
it's just wearing, like, a tank top or something.
I'm just too skinny to wear a tank top.
Oh, being able to show skin.
Yeah, like, I just,
it's not even just the boys.
Like, I just don't look good in one.
Yeah, yeah, it's not.
But if I could, with immunity, wear something that I would like to wear, just be like a casual tank. Yeah, take your not even just the boys. Like, I just don't look good in one. Yeah, yeah. But if I could, with immunity,
wear something that I would like to wear,
just be like a casual tank.
Take your shirt off at the pool.
Take off a shirt.
Take your shirt off at the pool.
It's you versus you here.
Yeah, yeah.
I like that.
That's a good one.
Let's see.
Hmm.
Okay, this one, I really got into it here.
What's more likely?
Land a job interview on 40 milligrams of Adderall
or give your life to Jesus Christ at Sunday service
off a point of Molly?
I feel like that's an easy one.
Oh, on 40?
Like an aggressive amount?
No, that's like a healthy amount.
Okay, for you.
For me, I can barely do five before I'm
chewing my face off and staring through your soul. Let's say a healthy amount of Adderall.
You're uncomfortable. No, not uncomfortable. Neither of these scenarios are uncomfortable.
Oh, then when the job interview. Going to church on Molly isn't uncomfortable? No, okay.
Land a job interview on a good amount of Adderall.
Yes.
Or give your life to Jesus Christ at Sunday service
off a point of Molly.
What's more likely?
Oh, what's more likely?
I feel like you nailed the job interview.
Yeah, I think the job interview is locked in.
I thought you were saying like,
I'm tweaked out on Adderall
and the guy's like, what the fuck is going on?
No, no, no.
Sir, you haven't blinked yet.
You're like redesigning the company you fucking-
Yeah, you have great references,
but you never blinked. so you're not getting hired.
You don't think you're giving your life to Jesus
off a point of Molly, dude?
No, I would never give my life to Jesus.
I mean, he's already got it,
so do I need to take the point?
He already has my life.
I like that, I like that.
Okay, let's see.
Go-to artists slash songs
for when you're on Shroomy Woomies.
Flume all day.
Yeah, I don't know any of the artists,
but when I'm on Shroomy Woomies
and my boys put on some of that beat bop shit.
It hits.
It hits.
It does hit.
It's gotta be like Flume or like Odessa or something.
Rufus Dussault.
Rufus busts down, yep.
That's a good time.
It's just gotta be vibey, you know?
You're just feeling it.
Yeah, Flume's my absolute goat for that though.
Yeah, playing in some sand or something.
Yeah, oh yeah, rolling around in the dirt.
Yeah, you're just fucking twiddling
the smallest little thing.
It's cool, noises are going off, sign me up.
Sign me up.
And it's always so, it sounds so much louder
for some reason.
Even the music's not that loud,
you just hear it so much.
Oh, it's more in your brain. It's very close. Very clear. It's very close the music's not that loud, you just hear it so much. Oh, it's more in your brain.
It's very close and very clear.
It's very close.
It's not the loud, it's in.
It's in your ear.
It's very much in the ear.
Yes.
Okay.
Be hungover at the DMV all afternoon
or be too high watching a scary movie?
That's a fucking toss-up.
Okay.
Both are very scary.
Both are horrifying.
I had to go to the DMV recently and I was sober as a bird and it was rough.
10 out of 10 hangover though.
Yeah.
10 out of 10 hangover.
I'm going with the scary movie.
Cause at least I'm like,
I'm in the comfort of my own home.
I'm eating snacks.
I can cover my eyes.
Maybe.
I feel like this one's harder for you because you, Scary High, is a different person.
Yeah, I'm very scared.
Big scary. Scary wary.
The Paranoid High where there's not even a scary movie and I'm
living one. I'm in the scary movie.
But the DMV, it's like
there's no water. You said how long
though? Like the whole
morning. So like 8 to 12.
So I think having that...
Like going to the DMV with no appointment.
Like you're there for like 4 hours. Fuck it, you got an appointment you're still there for the place is hell i forgot to put that in the companies i have beef with fuck oh yeah that's
that's everyone's beef at that point no one's like you know why i fuck with the dmv you know what
i don't really i don't like that take okay so if you're alone i'm taking the dmv but if you got
somebody with you no if you're yeah But if you got somebody with you,
no, if you're, yeah.
But if you got somebody with you,
I'll take the too high scary movie.
Yeah, because at least you can cuddle up together.
Oh, I didn't even consider the fact
that I could be by myself.
Because like too high watching a scary movie alone?
Yeah, but do I, like if I was picturing
like I'm with the boys,
we're all high as shit watching a scary movie.
I think at least with the scary high one,
you're like, cuddle, I'm blanketed up. I'm like peek boys we're all high as shit watching a scary movie. I think at least with the scary high one you're like I'm blanketed up
I'm comfy.
I'm like peeking
through my fingers.
The plastic school chairs
that they have you sit in
with the DMV hung over.
Oh my god.
No.
Hellish.
Shot.
I'm being hung over
just thinking about that.
Burn that place
to the ground probably.
I can't think of a worse
experience hung over
than going to the DMV.
Except for like
maybe having to like
run a marathon or something.
Or like,
for me,
it's like driving back
from wherever you're at.
Oh God.
Like a four hour car ride.
Yeah,
what's worse?
Like driving back from Vegas
hungover level 10
or like sitting in the DMV?
I'd say just having
any interaction with people
you don't want to interact with
makes it 10 times worse.
Oh yeah.
You're just miserable,
but you're just driving.
And you're with the boys
being miserable.
Someone's like, fuck. You're listening to good music. You stop for by yourself. And you're with the boys being miserable. Someone's like, fuck.
You're listening to good music.
You stop for In-N-Out.
No, but for me,
it's like if I'm on something,
like if I'm on a plane
or if I'm on a bus,
it just feels a lot worse
than like being able to like.
Plane,
hungover plane rides are fucked, bro.
Yeah, I'd have to take the DMV there
just because I like to like.
Twitchy morgue on a plane ride
to actually hungover is so different.
It's so scary.
It's so scary.
When he's super tired and, like, every five seconds it's one of those.
Yeah.
Just fucking shit.
Because you're about to, like, get comfortable.
And then all of a sudden you're fucking scared.
You have to calm him down from fucking thinkities on planet Xenus.
I scare myself on, like, different levels.
Yeah.
Like, three different levels.
Oh, my God.
How did I wake up?
Where the fuck am I?
Jesus Christ. Okay. When's the latest you've texted the plug when did we do it when did we do it the other day yeah it was fucking the sun was out
when when when when we were at your house for i forget what we were at your house and we're
laying in bed we're like should we text him and you're like there's no way he's up oh
fuck yeah that wasn't like seven or eight and and we were like, should we text him? And you're like, there's no way he's up. And we did it. Oh, fuck. Yeah, that was at like seven or eight in the morning.
Yeah, we were like, he's probably awake by now, right?
Yeah.
What do you think their sleep schedules are like?
Is it just send it all the way through the night?
I think they're up till at least like four or five.
Yeah, that's the-
It's just ring her on loud.
Yeah.
No, it's got to be ring her on real quiet
because if you're not, if you finally get to sleep,
you don't want that text from us.
I think it's like four or five
and they wake up to 10 messages.
That's true.
What do you think?
What's the plug person, me?
What's the plug's phone ringer?
Fuck.
What's the, it's just, it's like,
druggie, druggie.
It's Rack City Bitch, but Bag City Bitch?
Yeah, Rack City Bitch is a good one
because they're like,
ooh, I don't want to get up,
but I got to go get that money.
Yeah.
It's got to be something motivating.
Because to them, it's like,
I got to go get this bread.
Yeah.
It's just their own cover of Rack City and Bag City.
Yeah, Bag City Bitch.
Might have to do that.
That's going to be on the Patreon.
That'll be on the Patreon.
Okay, let's see here.
Would you rather the bidet water be too warm or too cold?
How warm is too warm?
Like scalding?
Too fucking warm.
Like too warm as in it's hot or too warm?
Too hot.
Like you're not injured, but fuck.
Either one of those, you're jumping up.
I think cold.
I'd rather have it be cold.
Yeah, I'd rather have it be cold. Yeah, I'd rather have it be cold.
Because at least you're like,
oh.
At least cold's refreshing.
Cold's like refreshing.
Hot is like scary.
Cold you might sit back down
but hot you're like,
ah.
I'm sitting back down.
Cold there's an initial shock
but you like realize,
okay, it's just cold
but hot's like fucking ow.
I'm just sitting there
unfazed either way.
Yeah.
Run it.
Switching back between too hot, too cold, just shocking the systemazed either way. Yeah. Run it. Switching back
between too hot,
too cold,
just shocking the system.
Oh, too cold,
too hot.
Okay.
Accidentally get sent
a nude from your mom
or your dad?
Dad, for sure.
I've had both.
From experience,
I can say.
Definitely dad.
Carol sends me
an accidental one.
That's my mom.
At least once a week.
And I think they're on purpose at this point
because it's been five years running.
It's been five years.
Oops, sorry, wrong nub.
For the record, that's Morgan's mom.
That's my mom.
That's fucked up.
They're getting better.
She's getting better.
After the hip surgery,
she's got some new moves.
I think you gotta go dad.
Yeah.
But that's fucking scary.
That's like looking at.
Both are really bad.
That's like looking
into your future though
when it's your dad.
Yeah.
Oh God.
Wait,
speaking of our moms,
wait till you hear this shit.
They're gonna do a podcast
in response to our podcast.
No.
Yes.
No they're not.
That's what they said,
but I don't know
if they're actually going to. That, they're not. That's what they said, but I don't know if they're actually going to.
That would be fucking unreal.
We need to have that on ours.
Yeah, we just air it on our own show.
Like a 30-minute recap episode.
Yeah, from the moms.
The recap episode of... Get your mom
on it. Yeah, we gotta. Get your mom together.
Tell her about it. Holy shit.
That would be good. Wait, are they listening
actively? Oh, God. Yeah, Borg's mom listens as soon would be fucked up. That would be good. Wait, are they listening actively?
Oh, God.
Yeah, Borg's mom listens as soon as it's posted.
That's so bad.
I mean, my mom's done drugs.
What has she said about it?
She said you need to find the Lord. She listens to everyone.
Oh, my God.
She said you need to stop touching your balls, though.
She did say that?
Yeah.
I swear to God.
Yeah.
I've heard that from multiple sources.
I've done good this episode.
How have you?
I've only done it a couple times.
But no, like, minute-long, like it a couple times. But no like minute long,
like fiddles.
Fiddles.
Okay, last one.
You're out at a bar.
Would you rather instantly
have everyone else be naked
or you be naked?
Everyone else for sure.
Yeah, for sure everyone else.
But think of the amount
of things you're dodging.
But I mean,
it's way weirder if it's you.
Even if you're naked, you have to dodge everyone.
But then if everyone else gets naked, you almost have to join.
Yeah, I'd join in.
But I don't want everyone else to just be like, what the fuck is going on?
Why are you naked?
You don't want to be the odd man out.
I'd rather be the odd man out in the right way where I'm wearing clothes.
Okay, let's say you can't get out though.
I'd still rather have the clothes. Everyone else, for sure. Okay, that's fair you can't get out though. I'd still rather have the clothes.
Everyone else for sure.
Okay, that's fair.
Without a doubt.
I got one for us.
This is going off our wheels,
wheels doors.
Okay.
You think there's more eyes
or legs in the world?
I think eyes
because I've seen more people
without legs than eyes.
I'm glad you said that
right off the bat.
You're forgetting animals.
Oh.
Oh.
Are insects animals in this scenario?
They are technically in the...
They are animals, I'm pretty sure.
Okay, so one fly...
Do flies have one eye, or is it multiple?
Let me throw a whole ring in your thought process right now.
Let me fuck you up.
You thought about this way too much.
Fish.
You're really fucking us. Yeah.
Because they all have eyes but no legs, but then you have
spiders which have eight eyes and eight legs or some shit?
Then you got an octopus fucking eight legs.
Oh, fuck you. There's no way to properly
gauge this. I'm sorry.
No, I think you got to go eyes.
I think based off ants alone
you can go legs. Yeah, think about
like a spider, eight legs, dude.
There's so many fish, though.
Not more than ants.
How many bugs are there?
The earth is 70% water, my boy.
Ooh.
I think based off the ocean alone, you might have to go eyes.
But there's not that many fish in the deep seas, my boy.
But we don't even know what's down there.
We don't know.
They could all have legs down there.
The whole bottom of the fucking ocean could be things with legs.
Okay, based off that, it's got to be legs.
But based off every other metric, it's got to be eyes.
Yeah, so if motherfuckers are walking around on the bottom, it's got to be legs.
But what if there's only like 10 fools down there?
There could only be like 10, 15 down there.
I think based off insects, it's got to be legs because there's so many insects.
There's so many bugs, dude.
And they all have like fucking eight legs or centipedes have like a fucking thousand or whatever.
Oh, if you're doing peds.
If you're bringing peds into it, yeah.
Yeah, I think it's legs.
I'm going with legs.
Open for debate though.
But humans don't go on eyes.
You think more people have lost a leg than eyes?
Yes.
I mean, how many people do you see without eyes?
How many people do you see without legs?
At least one a day.
No.
At least one a day.
No, you don't.
Where are you going? Where are you looking at?
We get weird out here.
Jesus Christ. Yeah.
Incomplete. We're not sure. We have to wait
until we find the bottom of the ocean.
We're going to do some research.
We have to go to the bottom of the ocean.
We'll count up the legs down there.
Live from the Mariana Trench.
Live from what's fucking the
rock bottom. From rock bottom? No, he's talking Live from what's fucking the rock bottom.
That's Mariana Trench.
From rock bottom.
No, he's talking about like bikini bottom.
Bikini bottom.
Rock bottom.
Yeah.
Okay.
You want to cap us off, King?
Are we good?
We're done?
All right.
Episode 11 in the books.
Ladies and gentlemen, thanks for tuning in
and for your continued support.
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Yeah.
As you can see, we went off on an eight-minute tangent
of just trying to pronounce this girl's name.
So you'll get some love.
Yeah, make your name harder pronounced.
Some internet notoriety.
But other than that, we'll be back next Wednesday.
Right on time. Let's evolve. Let's evolve together, we'll be back next Wednesday right on time.
Let's evolve.
Let's evolve together,
FOMO sapiens.
Later.
Later.