NO FOMO - 33. Wtf Is Going On?

Episode Date: October 19, 2022

🎉 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/nofomopod 🔔 Subscribe: https://linktr.ee/nofomopod 🎽 Merch: https://www.bonfire.com/store/no-fomo/  Welcome Back Fomosapiens. This week we try to figure out what is actually going on by breaking down some of the most ridiculous things we discovered in the past week.  Let's Evolve Together, NO FOMO.   Support the Podcast: Get 20% OFF @manscaped + Free Shipping with promo code NOFOMO at MANSCAPED.com!

Ladies and gentlemen, what the fuck is going on? It's no FOMO. That's the whole last topic for today. Yeah. I don't know what we got. What the fuck is going on? We're going to be talking for a while. I mean, that's always what it is.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty much standard. Yeah. We don't really usually know what's going on. Yeah, never do. We kind of just piece it together as we go, which is the whole point. That's what's happening. Yes. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. What episode 33 33 sober as can be Three was sober as can be 33

It only took us 30 weeks to get back We try to do sober weekend, but we try to do sober from what the two weekends ago until halloween and we swore on this fucking fumbled the ball you started it okay i all i did was go to the padre game and obviously all you did obviously i got fucked you're crying in your instagram yeah because i was happy i was excited yeah well that that's cool and then uh shout out pods i guess you guys didn't have to come, you guys came to the after party for the game that you didn't go to. So you guys are the problem. I'm not blaming anybody.

I saw you crying and I was like, does he need help? No, he had to come to the rescue. Then we find out it wasn't crying from sadness. It was anger. Yeah. No. It was anger towards John. Pure bliss.

Highlight of the week. Absolute saw red. Garrett tried to fight John. Pure bliss. Highlight of the week. Absolute saw red. Garrett tried to fight John at the club. I tried to kill John. And then immediately just was like, I need to go home. I don't know what happened. John said to me, he goes, drugs are a hell of a drug.

I did say that. I think I was just asleep and thought you woke me up or something. And then I was like, oh, you're dead. He fell asleep at the club and got upset. And then proceeded to go home and fall asleep in the Uber on the way home. And this is why we're sober. Yeah, this weekend will be that. This weekend, I swear to God, we're locking ourselves up. We have to.

We came to the realization that we just have to all I'll be together so that not one of us can Like do something fun, and we'll feel the need to go on's off. Yeah Do not the same couch do not disturb mode is on And we need like five seasons of a show to just we got sinner watch we got sinner But yeah, buddy's haven't you already watched the whole thing with watch three, and then we'll get there. We'll have seven what watch the first three seasons No, yeah, I already did and I watched them all three last night. Yeah, okay the first three seasons no yeah first three i already did i watched them all three last night yeah okay the first three episodes yeah if you guys need a fucking season of the most recent yeah good good yeah if y'all need a show to watch fucking lord of the rings is absolute dog shit

am i am i tripping or that show sucks that show's big but that show's fucking trash i yeah i tried three separate times to watch just the first episode and just fell asleep every time i wouldn't even be tired and i'd just fall asleep. Yeah, we watched a breakdown of why it's bad. And it was pretty spot on. It's just bad. It's just not good. It's just straight up bad, yeah.

There hasn't been a good Lord of the Rings since the third one of the original series. Yeah, since the last. I think that is the last Lord of the Rings. Or I guess the Hobbit ones. But those are all trash too. Those are weird. It's like all kind of like funny kind of

I don't know I don't know trying to be like cute yeah it was weird they're all garbage that whole you know

franchise is just a bust from now on yeah it can't be it can't be done but let's see what else if you fucking like the show like, comment, subscribe, share

here he goes Morgan begging for your approval. Yep. We're doing a shirt giveaway. So we're doing whatever you follow us on. If you follow us, we're going to make a post on Instagram of the giveaway. If you follow us and like that post, we'll put you into the drawing for a shirt. And what the challenge stands, if we do 100 hundred things we'll do the 6 12 18 24

sure do you know where can you get a tally yeah what was it i think it's 21 it was you said it was 28 yeah all right so we've 31 it's close we're getting closer okay we're going up yes we're getting there okay wonderful without further ado i mean we're getting into what the fuck is going on. Yes. In the world. Yes. Okay, so we have... Tell us your thing. My thing?

Yeah. Okay, there's an Adderall shortage, which is fake news. Why is that? It's real news, but Morg's got it. I know for a fact it's fake news, because anyone that does Adderall, they're going to find more Adderall. True. It's fake news. Yeah, we're going to get it.

But if you go to Phil's prescription, can you, are they doing that? Somehow I have not been hindered in any, you're the number one guy. Maybe the next one, maybe the next refill that you might get fucked? I don't know, I just can't see it. The real question is, do you plan on

cutting back in preparation? In case. Like are you going to have like extra toilet paper for if they're out you know funny you said toilet paper because i ran out earlier okay but do i always got it i always got it okay but like what if you go to refill and they don't have it yeah they're just like sorry what would you what would you do start doing cocaine every day no it's too expensive what would i do if i couldn't get it what if what if they're just out of it's done like there is an actual shortage

yeah well let's say it's out for it's gone for two months what are you gonna do the show's canceled the show's everything's done but i've i've known people who can't get it but they keep giving it to me so So I think we're all good. Okay. They know what happens if they know that you with the amount that you take, you know, you don't even take that much. It's just when I do, I'm just solving problems that you never even knew existed. That's true.

You're coming up with problems. You're inventing your own. It didn't exist. You're inventing your own problems. There's nothing I can't do. You're creating issues out of thin air and then solving it. Yes. And they're solved, which is all that matters.

But that got me thinking, I think everybody has a funny Adderall origin story. And I just want to hear your guys, if you can remember. Origin? Like the first time we took it? Yeah. Oh, I remember the first time I took it. I was in, at the SDSU library. I took one and I'd never taken it before. And right before I took it, I got an entire Chipotle burrito and I was very hungry. I was like, oh, I'm going taken it before. And right before I took it, I got an entire Chipotle burrito and I was very hungry. I was like, oh, I'm going to eat this. And I took the Adderall and I started working on my paper. I wrote a nine page paper over the course of eight hours. Didn't look away from the laptop and didn't touch that burrito.

Dude, that is very similar to mine. Same location. I think I was like sick or something and I had a test the next, so I had a test at 9am the next day and I had, I think I had like 60 worth of it and I just stayed up 60 worth, no 60 milligrams worth of it. And I just stayed in there and in my head I was like, I love writing essays. Oh yeah. I didn't even, I hadn't even read the book that I had to write the thing on and I wrote the shit out of that. Yeah. I feel like it's pretty similar for everybody. You just feel like it just took the limitless pill.

Yeah, literally. It was whatever it was. It made shit fun. It made studying fun. Oh, yeah. It could have been fucking the Galapagos Islands. I just remember walking through the library after just sitting at my my desk like in a fucking cubby for like three hours by myself. And I like saw someone I knew or I saw like a table of people I knew and I just fucking went the other way.

Oh, there's no way I'm getting like a word out. Yeah. But you don't think you could speak on it? No, I would. Not at that point. I didn't know how to. Yeah. You're too focused.

I was too focused on what I was doing. I just went up to get some water and I saw people and i was like hey what's up yeah i was just like tweaking so hard i was like i can't even speak yeah i think they don't make it like they used to that that first that first little one fucking well yeah when you're not used to it you're just yeah the first one obviously hits a little bit different yeah yeah i guess maybe i just need to up my dose like morgi yeah to 880 one to four times a week wait are we not are we not uh introducing stimmy boy oh stimmy boy oh yeah yeah so on the topic of adderall i discovered so what was it yesterday so i try to do just no no coffee no nicotine no nothing and uh it can't be done that guy's so I tried to write down funny stuff

oh my god all day yesterday John said you couldn't even have a conversation yeah no no I would be like what do you think about this and be like is do you well do you think it because it will I don't know and I'm just doesn't function. Get it out. Yeah, I'm Stimmy Boy. Stimmy Boy. Stimmy Boy. Okay, are we introducing Stimmy Boy? Okay, so I thought of another fun thing we could talk about on this.

It's what's your most typical side quests while you're on Adderall? Retracing my way back to my real quest. Oh, like getting lost and then going back. Yeah, distraction quests. It's like I'm on my way to thing and then quest oh like getting lost and then going back distraction quests it's like i'm on my way to thing and then it's like oh fold that yeah and then all of a sudden i'm done rearranging that and it's like whoa wait i was going to the kitchen to get water in college it would be like rearranging my entire desktop on my computer uh cleaning my entire dorm something just productive cleaning is relatively useless yeah classic for us. But relatively useless. Yeah, the most fucked up thing I ever did was,

oh, redesigning my fucking computer layout. So it's like I got like this sick gray wallpaper, and I was like, wait, the folders are blue and the background is gray. Gotta redo all the folders. So I found out how to get the gray folder on your folders and icons. But you should see my desktop.

It's, it's real nice. Is it real nice? Yeah. Is it still, I swear to God, how many times have you changed it since I have like a folder pyramid on the side and then super clean.

You'll never see anything out of it's super clean. It's crazy clean. There's gotta be more though. Side quests. Yeah. I mean, there's infinite amounts. I mean,

it's one of those things that like, you probably don't even realize you're doing the side quests. Yeah. Yeah. Beating off is definitely one of my side quests yeah i mean there's infinite amounts i mean it's one of those things that like you probably don't even realize you're doing the side quests yeah beating off is definitely one of my side hours yeah yeah like 14 times in a row well that's your main quest no that's a yeah well that's a side main quest it's i wouldn't say that's why you took it it's it's how i tell i break up the main quest yeah it's like oh i did 10 minutes of that quest yes it's like as well get that paper towel yeah it's like you can focus so well but at the same time your mind's just like what's something else it's like that npc you run into on the way to the side quest and he's like or on the way to the main quest he's like what if you beat off just now

and then you're stuck you help me beat off yes classic. Classic. Good stuff. I think you're fucked if they do run out. Me? No. Yeah. Because I don't want to see that guy. I saw, I got a glimpse of him yesterday. I don't like him. Well, they're not going to run out of caffeine.

So maybe just drink some coffee. You should have seen how sad he was playing ping pong. He's like losing. He's like, I don't get it, man. I don't get it. Why isn't it working? I think it was more so just like the, I feel like the day after a hangover is usually the worst yeah that was but i don't usually after the day i don't usually like drink caffeine or anything

when i'm hungover i usually that makes me feel worse this was the day after the day after yeah so i feel like oh this was yesterday the day of a hangover for some reason is like my best day as soon as i well because you just accept like okay i'm hungover as shit but i feel like yeah the day after when you like are trying to force yourself to be productive if you don't have caffeine or something you're fucked yeah so what i yeah what i tried to do was the day after that i see it's like when you fully come down off everything so you try to just go in raw yeah you can't go in you can maybe quit caffeine on wednesday after hangover but not on monday well i just i i don't i don't think you could just cold turkey not do anything yeah you can't you could do especially when you're still partially hung over that sounds like hell yeah so why'd you

even try to do that I would love to see him in his own brain thinking I'd love to have a like a transcript of what you were thinking I'll just stop all of it right now yeah he's just like he's literally just like I'm fed up with everything not doing anything yeah Mondays I'm all powerful yeah I'm just like okay self-control locking it in yeah i'm not doing making bad decisions no more coffee no more nicotine and then after that it's a bad day yeah so don't do that again yeah you can't you can't triple bury yourself you can't yeah you can't triple do it you have to wean yourself off yeah you could have at least had a cup of joe yeah um we got more or you want me i'll do one the birds aren't real rally happened Oh, yes, what from what I can take through reading a few articles about it is you know lit as fuck apparently

They're just booing bird says they flew. Oh, yeah Anytime a bird flew over I saw one of you just like a massive flock and they're all just like fuck you. Yeah This is one of the quotes from one of the guys giving a speech. He said, the police are out here trying to stop us. Who do you think called them here? And then the crowd said without hesitation, the birds. Wait, does anyone know the origin of this movement?

That's what I was going to say. I need to know. Like, it just doesn't, I don't get it. It's kind of all over the place on what it, so a lot of people thought it was a joke about like weird conspiracy theories. I'm pretty sure it is though, right? It is not though. on what it so a lot of people thought it was a joke about like weird conspiracy theories i'm pretty sure it is though that is not though um it's something so they they went to two years

ago they had a thing trying to on the capital steps of like san francisco trying to get twitter to change this thing from a bird because they're saying they're part of the bird fucking twitter made birds that aren't real twitter made or runs it or something is part of the collection of us i feel like it's this has just got to be a giant there was apparently there was a shit ton of people they have like 400 000 people follow them on their thing oh there was a fuck ton of people there's a rally dude it's not a joke this is real but i feel it just seems like it's just like a fun stupid thing no it's real no birds aren't real well it's not real yeah it is real that the birds aren't it's real that the birds birds aren't real. Well, it's not real. Yeah. It is real that the birds aren't. It's real that the birds are.

Yes. I mean, if the birds aren't real. Wait, when did it start? What year did this start? It was like 2020. It was really recent. Yeah. Or at least when it became like a big social media thing.

I remember seeing like, I think they had like shirts or something. And it was like, have you ever seen a baby pigeon? No. Like, yeah. Which you haven't. No. Have you ever seen a baby pigeon no like yeah which you haven't no have you ever seen a bird's nest yeah yes yes have you though yes not for sure I never went up there and checked to see if it was really

made out of stuff you've heard of bird nests I've seen baby birds in my backyard I've seen baby birds not pigeons though you've seen baby cameras you've seen little cameras yeah you've seen little drones yeah okay you've seen little yeah little the other thing they say is what is the uh the symbol of our nation bird an eagle bird wow it's just birds so we're not real it's a surveillance state yeah okay um if birds aren't real where do we get one that i can use and what kind of bird would you get if they're not real where do we get a not real bird yeah where do we get one that I can use? And what kind of bird would you get? If they're not real, where do we

get a not real bird? Yeah, where do we get one? Amazon. Like if I catch one and hack it? Like if I catch a pigeon outside? I feel like you can dark web it. Oh, it's kind of like interstellar vibes? It's like, oh, pigeon, and you're like fucking... Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're catching the drone out of the sky. We're gonna lose it. We're gonna lose it. Okay. Yeah.

Where do you think you could get one? Yeah, and what bird do you think you'd pick? A seagull's pretty sinister. Oh, I like that that could blend in really well here in San Diego Plus you could just you could just be like walking around the beach pecking at food and shit Plus you get like water surveillance. Mm-hmm. Like you're always Around the sea. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's good a Seagull though. They're kind of weak crows are pretty nasty. Do you think you'd Yeah, that's good.

A seagull, though, they're kind of weak. Crows are pretty nasty. Do you think you'd... Those ones are smart. Those ones are scary. Those are the smart drones. Those are the scary ones. That's the night drone. Yeah, those are like the police, like the actual police.

Yeah, yeah, the FBI of the birds. Yeah, FBI birds. FBI drones, yeah. See, this is why I drink, dude. It unlocks really just everything there is. All the pathways for you. Do you think... I just kicked the shit out of the would camera is it still on me?

Do you think other animals could be drones what like what what animal would you pick to be your surveillance animal? Hold on. What was my nickname in high school? Birdman It was so I was one of many even one of my it wasn't some birdman butters Yes, Morgana West more Gaga Nikki more geeky manajikki manajiki manajikki Butters. Yes. More Gagne West. More Gaga. Nikki. More Giki Minaj. More Giki Minaj.

More Giki Minaj. Was Birdman because I looked like a bird until I got a jaw? Imagine me with no jaw and just a big nose. Ah, I see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's still pretty weak. Oh, and I had a mohawk. Oh, yeah.

And he had a faux hawk for a little bit. That was good. No, it was a full-on mohawk. But you kept the faux hawk into high school with the pierced ears. Well, you have to. And his exact quote was, it's for the ladies. Yes. What was the question again?

If you could switch it up from birds, what animal would you pick? That's my surveillance drone? Yeah. Kangaroo. Smart. No, I feel like a cat would be lit. Ooh. They're just nimble as fuck.

They're pretty sneaky, too. They can get pretty much anywhere. Yeah. They could jump like eight times their own body height. They'd be getting wherever they want. I think a cat can just pretty much anywhere you know yeah they could they could jump like eight times their own body height maybe they'd be getting wherever they want i think a cat can just pretty much get anywhere i mean a kangaroo though that's almost like enforcement as well as surveillance because you could like kick the shit out of somebody yeah you ever seen a kangaroo yeah they're huge yeah they're absolutely can you imagine how smashed you'd have to be to be out there at that rally just screaming at birds in the sky how many people how many people that's

what i'm saying it was they said the entire park was full if you watch the video everyone there looks like they're shit-faced the main like leader guy that i saw was just giving a speech that was just nonsense it sounded like he was just hammered just babbling let me let me see what a bird rally looks like no birds rally birds aren't real rally it's just a bunch of birds yeah dude washington square park holy fuck geese are not real geese are surveillance recreation surveillance dude this looks lit dude people are just out there screaming with foul prowl if i fly i spy oh my god yeah some of the signs were incredible i learned the truth and got rid of my pet bird yeah people are just out there screaming but they had bagpipes playing

fucking do not trust the pigeons wait where washington square as in dc or where was yeah dc holy shit the fight the feathered menace they have vans oh here we go we have a breakdown of it okay cameras in the eyes and Wireless antenna for something in the back microphone is in the middle chest CPU is in the wing And there's a battery somewhere like in the torso where the heart would be Yeah, and they charge they charge in the feet which makes kind of sense of because they land on all the Shits because they land on the wires dude this is so good they charge on that's too good okay i came into this thinking it was like kind of a fake movement it's not

fucking all in fucking all in they can't be real if you know this is oh no this is so good this podcast supports birds aren't real yes 100. I was just going to say that. 100%. Yeah, but that's basically, that went, that happened. Yeah. We've established that. That happened. It's real. Yes. Moving on.

As we just start researching the entirety of the movement on the podcast. I love that. We have to look into it. Wait, wait, hold on. No, okay. An interview with the founder asking if it's a real movement. He just says, I think comedy as an art form has progressed so rapidly. When it comes to Birds Aren't Real, there's an intuitive understanding of what we are doing with Gen Z or people my age has a lot to do with the context of comedy and a sense for the internet.

A lot of older people understandably don't immediately see what Birds Aren't Real means. It makes for fascinating rallies when we mobilize in real life and role play. So they're role playing like a conspiracy. And even the founders say this. No, see, that's a cover. That's a cover for the real movement. Well, that's how you get the government. That's probably how you get the government off your back.

Like, oh, we're kidding. Yeah. Birds Aren't Real. I actually know. Yeah. I see. They're're smarter than shit they're smarter than all shit um than all shit all right we're gonna take a quick break that's too good the leader in below the waist grooming is here to make sure your pubes feel smoother than a beach ball and smell fresher than your girl's pumpkin spice start the season right and join over 6 million men worldwide who trust Manscaped with this exclusive offer for you. Fuck 6 million, join us three.

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if you haven't seen it google it right fucking now it is the funniest fucking pictures you'll ever see in your goddamn life the videos are unbelievable just horse diving it was a sport in which basically blindfolded horses would jump off of 60 foot giant diving boards into a pool wait hold up how the fuck do you blindfold a horse? This seems like animal cruelty. You can cover its eyes. They do it for racing. They have the little gators on the side. That's a lie. This seems like animal cruelty.

Look at the fucking pictures. It's the best thing in the world. We're just soaring through. First of all, 60 foot giant diving board. Olympic diving boards are 32 feet. There's no way. Olympic diving boards are only 32 feet. It's not real. They're're real why is everything you're bringing up not real no it's not this one's a roller coaster but at there's no downwards it's oh you should see so so some of the like

boards they would just like pull out from underneath them so they just fall because no horse is jumping off this fucking of course they're blind but there's one that they said really liked doing it it had a name it was like zippy the diver or something and it would just no this is not fucking real tell me that pool looks deep enough for the horse to lay oh fuck no that's not this looks like the most fucked up thing oh one of these has a water slide for the horse no on jesus wait what were did someone send this in the group chat yeah yeah, we saw it. That's where I saw it. This is not real.

Wait, so how does the competition aspect of it work? I don't know, and I couldn't find out. Whichever horse doesn't die when it jumps? They just jump in. And so they were talking about it got canceled. No shit, obviously. And they were talking about the guy who invented it was talking about how horses like doing it. How would he know that?

And they were saying how the people would get hurt and sometimes die. The horses never died. I don't believe that. If you watch the video of it, it looks fucking horrible. It's like the largest splash I've ever seen. Yeah, I'm not a fucking aqua-quarion or whatever the word is. Equestrian. Equestrian, but how the fuck would a horse swim?

They can swim. Wait, wait, wait. Watch, watch, watch. This is real? Oh my fucking God. Then watch, its little head is going to pop up, and it's just going to start swimming to the end. Wait, okay, that was for sure real. Yeah.

That's obscene. Google it right now. Wait, so is it length, or is it height or distance? I don't even, I'm not even sure it was a competition. No, I don't think it's'm not even sure it was a competition. No, I don't think it's a competition. It's just a show. It was like show up to the pier. Jumping off a 50 foot.

Oh, it's like motorcycles in the circle thing? Yeah. It's just a ridiculous. It's just like, holy fuck, that just happened. Whoa, that was fucked up. It's like Cirque du Sequestrian. Yeah. Morgan, you're going to have to put pictures up there.

But that did lead me down a small rabbit hole of looking up other dumb sports. Love that. Wife carrying. Wife carrying. Wife carrying. Yeah, so you carry your wife through an obstacle course as fast as possible. I've seen this. You've seen that? Yes.

I've never heard of that in my life. You've got the cheese wheel race. What's that? Essentially, they roll a cheese wheel down a super steep hill, and people run after it and just tumble the fuck down the hill. Oh, I've seen that. Oh, that's like a Nordic sport. No, it's in Wisconsin. They roll down this fucking giant fucking giant ass. It's the same hill every time too It's like super dangerous people get fucked up wait. What's that other thing where they just there?

There's another thing where they just run down a super. That's the one I think it's that no It's but you carry your wife on your back. No no this is a different one Okay, this is the cheese wheel race the cheese wheel race. Oh, the cheese wheel race. They're just chasing after a cheese wheel. We've got extreme ironing. Okay. This is actually pretty big. I feel like all ironing is pretty extreme. Extreme ironing.

So, essentially, they just go to extreme places and iron. Really? It'd be like a base of a waterfall, and they're down there fucking ironing out of shirts. Where are they getting the power supply? No. Okay. So, river. Come on.

It's a battery. Birds land on it. It's bird power. It's a battery. Birds land on it. It's bird power. It's a bird power pack. But imagine like river rapids, river rapids. And then you have an ironing board and you're surfboarding on it. And your wife is holding onto the end and you're ironing. Really?

That's not it at all. That's pretty close though. It's close. Okay. You just made that up. Yeah. He made that up. I didn't make that up.

We watched a video of it. No. It's pretty good. It's close close we've also got zorbing explain that one that is watching Morpheus multiple times no that's the one where they're in those giant hamster wheel balls and they're just running down hills mmm zorbing zorbing zorb the classic or sore but if it was watching Morbius multiple times and they're just running down hills. Zorbing. Zorbing. It's a Zorb.

Classic Zorb. Two Zorb. But if it was watching Morbius multiple times, we have done that. Yeah, and we win at that. It took us three. That's Morbing. Right, Zorbing is Morbing.

It's Morbing time. It's the same. It's Morbing time. Chess boxing is one, which I thought was pretty cool. So you do one round of boxing, and then two minutes of chess. And then you'll keep alternating until either a checkmate or a knockout Wow who the

fuck a little little kind of some fucking specimens a little combination legends you just got if you get mated and you're beating the shit out of the guy though the whole fucking time you're just easily rocking him the whole fight you're like next move is a check man I gotta beat the shit out of him um car curling is a cool one what is that uh curling the same thing but with cars how the fuck do they do that is it a neutral when you're sliding on ice you know you get like a three seconds of acceleration and then you gotta hit the brake or just coast and then is it on ice yeah it's on ice well that's pretty is that olympic or no uh it's trying i think it's added

2024 it'll be in there oh my are you making all this shit up no i look these up these are real these are real except for morbing everything besides morbing wait have you seen that this is real i just saw a video of it yesterday The it was on like a SportsCenter fucking Instagram page the fucking soccer ping-pong Anyone see that soccer pit. Oh the um you mean the game like the video game one no no no sock on No, stop her. They're playing ping-pong with a fucking soccer ball in their feet. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, yeah, that is fire. That is fucking absurd. It's called glorbing. No, it's literally, it's called something fucking weird. That one is lit. Yeah.

It's the weirdest thing I've ever seen, though. I thought you were talking about that fucking- It's like a curved table, and they are literally, like, just kicking the ball at each other. And they're, yeah, they're hitting mad headers. Oh, it's all headers. But it has to bounce. No, it's feet. They can kick it and headers.

It's mostly feet. Yeah. It's mostly topspin from the feet. Yeah, I don't know how. Jesus Christ. Those shots are hitting. I don't know how they're doing that, though. It's, like,in from the feet? Yeah, I don't know how. Jesus Christ. I don't know how they're doing that, though. It's like the most impressive thing I've ever seen.

And then the last one I had was dwarf throwing. We've seen that. Wolf of Wall Street. Yeah, that's just a good time. Wait, what's the... How are they doing that currently? Throwing them. Where is it being performed? Everywhere.

This is a multinational sport. They're just hucking dwarves as far as I can. The IDT, International Dwarf Throwing League. IDTL. Yeah, there it is. Do we have a fucking Guinness Book of World Records for this or what? They don't do Guinness. They do Olympics.

So a lot of gold medals. It's metal-based. Merits are based on that. Taiwan actually kills it in that. Do they? Their dwarves are smaller than regular dwarfs. True. They're dwarfs. Double dwarfs. Dumble dwarfs. They're dumble dwarfs?

And continuing. Continuing on. Other things we got. We got the Hasbulla has officially signed a deal to fight in the UFC. Yeah, what is that about? I'm so confused. As of right now, he's only one of his size that there is no he is three foot four and 40 pounds there's no formal weight class there's no 40 pound weight but like are they gonna sign more people of his

stature to fight or they just got who could he realistically fight a brother fucking abdu rozic dude is that the the brown haired guy yeah the other little cutie what if they're out of the weight class how much do they weigh they're like the same exact size yeah they're they're the same size okay so it's like uh so but like are they gonna sign more people for him to actually fight or he's i mean i'm just assuming this is a standalone yeah he's just signed they're not gonna make a weight class for this who do you wish he could fight though like if you got to if you're like first of all hammer pay-per-view oh yeah hammer pay-per-view stock oh as soon as that was shit i mean everyone's watching that yeah so like

i'm just curious what their plans are for this i think i think if you so you have him fight the other one right yeah but like are they gonna sign him too if that goes well you just like what size does he match up against is like a kid is he like a six-year-old kid size well i don't know if it makes sense either way because even if it's like a seven-year-old like they still have better proportions than he does that's why so how old of a kid are you giving him the win against it's gotta be a toddler at best but you're not gonna put it you're not gonna put them in the ring bigger than a toddler he's 40 pounds he's 40 pounds three foot four when's the last time you weighed 40 pounds probably six but you can't put a toddler

they got to be 18 why but he's 19 yeah they do they do like i'm sure they have like kov mcgraw class for little kids and shit but i've seen little kid wrestling. They have shorter arms though. Who? Hasbulla. He's the exact size of a little kid. It's not shorter, smaller. Yes, it is. It's stuck at that size. No,

it's like small person dynamics. No, they have like shorter arms and shit. No, that's not what it is. Are you sure? Yes. Wait,

I'm just reading up on this, but they're selling his fight kit already on UFC's website, which sounds lit. What is that? Like his fight jersey and shorts and shit. It just says Hasbulla and giant gold letters on the side. It's going to be a UFC fight? I don't know what the fuck's going to happen.

I think it's going to end up being nothing. No, it has to be. But I mean, if it is a i don't care if they say he's gonna fight like a fucking cat like i want to see it it's like a fucking he's got like a koala bear in the ring because there's literally there's such a small pool of people for him to fight and none of them are like trained in fighting but he's not is he no okay because here's the thing you can't have a six-year-old there's no six-year-old that's trained in boxing you know he's not trained in boxing though so it's fair but he's 19 he's not

gonna fight he's not gonna fight a six-year-old okay so maybe we up at the seven no he's gonna there's a there's an advantage aspect to it he knows how to fight the seven-year-old's bigger he could fight would be that like Abdu or something like that. You know what I mean? Can you stop rubbing your eyes? Sorry, sorry, sorry. Fucking drive me insane. He's going to, I think, okay, first of all, I'm putting my money on him, whoever he fights.

Yeah, of course. But it's just that one guy. It's got to be, right? I think they could find some guys. Yeah, why haven't they signed the other one yet? Okay, let's put it this way. How many Hasbous can you take? Ooh.

How many Hasboulas can I take? I think like four. He's a feisty little fucker. Yeah, he likes to pinches and grabs hair and shit. Are we in an octagon? No rules. Are we in an octagon? Yeah, it's in the octagon.

It's UFC sanctioned. No rules. He's only 40 pounds. Okay, how often are they let in all whatever the number you say at once it's like a it's like a nazi zombie oh fill the arena it's over yeah i think you could kind of just spin in a circle and they're not gonna be able to hold on yeah i don't know man have you seen him throw some some haymakers are they rabid Have you seen him throw some haymakers?

Are they rabid? Are they just normal people? That's important. All right, all right, all right. Like, if he can bite and shit, I don't know. Yeah, bite and, like, pinch. I think you could take, like, eight. Fill the arena. Fill it?

Yeah. Speaking of fill the arena. But if they start using each other and, like, making, like, a human tower and they can actually get to your face? Yeah. Okay, well, then it's different. It's another organization. Okay, so, yeah, it's like World War Z.

Like, they're stacking each other. like if they build a hasbulla pyramid okay then it's a different story it's a different story okay if they build up if there's like six of them stacked on top of each other if that puts them at 18 feet tall here we go again there's three at the base, so there's ten total. Or is that nine total? Jesus. Stop. You're trying to break down the actual pyramid?

Stop. Yeah. Stop. Okay. Okay. The last one I got of what's going on. We still haven't figured out what the fuck is going on. Which we don't know what is going on. The World Cup in Qatar is going to put people who are drunk in a drunk tank.

No, in like a box. In a drunk box. Yeah, a drunk tank box. Wait, so I'm curious. Are they going to be like in the crowd where they can like still watch, but they're like contained into a little box? So what they said is you will be kept in there until you are sufficiently sober, which doesn't have a number amount or anything.

It's just completely guesstimate Are they even like serving? I'm pretty sure they aren't even like serving alcohol at these events and shit So it's just like people who pregame too hard. They're gonna lock them in a box. Wait, where the fuck is guitar? It's in the Middle East. I'm pretty sure. Yeah Can you I just hope can you just imagine it being stuffed to the fucking? People like sardines in there. Oh my god. Just smashed up against the glass. They're in like a, yeah, glass box, but it's like somewhere in the middle of the crowd where you can see them.

Like they're on an exhibition. Oh yeah. I was saying if they had these at like a Raider game back when they were still in Oakland, the whole fucking stadium would just be like bird cages. Oh yeah. People in there. Holy fuck. Wait, what are the laws in Qatar? Can you even drink at all? I don't know what you can do I know you can't have sex

You can't have sex at all Okay so one person a cage Yeah cause otherwise they'll just start fucking each other Yeah I would love to see this become a regular thing though Yeah if they're like little individual boxes Kind of like just a little glass Like a skybox but for drunk people

Or like we're at Mavericks and they just are like you come on you're in the little fucking room and people are just looking at you like taunting you like a monkey yeah i'd want it to be like somewhere in the middle where everyone can look at you and laugh at you and shit yeah and you're just in there hammered like just fucking laughing your ass off like slamming up pissing on glass. Just turn into a zoo animal instantly. So do we know the actual like... It's very ambiguous as to what the rules are. They said until you are sufficiently sober.

And it did not have like a breathalyzer amount or anything. It's just whatever they deem sufficiently sober. That's a toughie. Is it? Morgan's trying to break it down is it a toughie rules again i'm trying to figure out where they're coming from they don't want drunk people out there i know i know that part okay so what part are you trying to figure out they're caging drunk people that's all you need to know that's that's smart i like that wait We have to get to this just because I can't stop staring at it. What? There's just something in the notes that says Hagrid is toast.

I can't stop staring at that phrase. Oh, God. You're not supposed to look at that. I'm so afraid. Oh god. You're not supposed to look at that. I'm sorry. I just actually scrolled and saw that and I just could not stop staring at it. So Haggard's jokes.

Holy fuck. Cheese ball? Oh god Cheese ball We haven't done enough Oh Let's go Oh these are stale

Stale Alright ladies and gentlemen That has been That's 33 Episode 33 Sober Sober as can be Round two

For the first three minutes Until Morgan decided He needed a drink Yeah Next week it's the fucking It's the spooky so So we're going Oh next week spooky so's the spooky side. So we're going. Oh, next week, spooky side?

Yeah, we got spooky side. We're going extra deep next week. Next week's going to be all spooky shit. Yeah.