NO FOMO - 34. The Cone Head Spooktacular

Episode Date: October 27, 2022

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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back, back, back, back to the Monster Chicken FOMO Show. No FOMO. Live from Florida, ladies and gentlemen, it's No FOMO. Coming at you live, it's Mr. 305. There he is. What's bracken? We got the Conan boys. The Conan boys?

The Conan brothers? The Conan brothers. The Conan brothers. We have Morgan the Cokehead. Cokehead, Conehead. Cokehead, Conehead. And Cletus. Howdy, Cletus howdy cletus the conehead uh it's the halloween spooktacular you know let's go dude we're gonna be talking all things spooky season today we need cheese balls or what okay we got cheese balls we

got cheese balls we're good to go dude i'll fucking dab on my kids today's a big day dude that's a big day dude that's a big day wrap that brand let's get sponsored uh we are on the cheese we are on the precipice of potentially the most dangerous weekend of the year based on the scheduling of it this year yeah because halloween's not till monday so i'm anticipating a thursday through monday sort of what's going on yeah i'm looking at i'm looking at an average of six hours of sleep between the

three of us i think you're gonna hold the whole weekend yeah i think you're gonna need at least two to three costumes ready to go yeah which is a tough halloween i hate that but i might sit yeah with the recession and everything can't just be buying yeah i might sit one night out just so i don't have to get costumes are gonna be down with the recession dude you're gonna the recession, dude. You're going to get some broke-looking-ass costumes. You're going to have some broke-ass-looking costumes. Well, the way Amazon works out, you just return them. That is true. Do they let you return costumes, though?

Oh, yeah, you can return anything. Me and Morg return socks one time. But, like, the actual, like, I feel like that's the one thing they don't let you return is, like, a Halloween costume. If you piece it together, you can. Oh, yeah, you've got to piece that fucking thing. Yeah, yeah. If you buy it all one-in-one. They don't let you.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You think? Because I'm pretty sure. Because it's like if you wear it together, you can. Oh, yeah, you got to piece that fucker. Yeah, yeah. If you buy it all one and one. They don't let you. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You think? Because I'm pretty sure. It's like if you wear it or something like that. Because who, I mean, everyone on earth would just wear it once and return it then. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's how we do.

That's how we be doing out here. Do you guys know what you're going to be yet? Honestly, no. Yeah, I got mine. Yeah, I'm going to figure that out today. Yeah, this was as far as I got. These are good, though. It's fucking Wednesdaynesday all right give me

give me some slack here for me yeah it's time to order though i might just dress up as a dj and wear uh everything that we normally wear you know that would be horrible that would be one of the biggest halloween cough outs ever oh yeah that'd be bad oh i'm me i'm morgan no you could dress up for me for sure yeah yeah there'd be something to stilts sure sure that just says where's my fucking phone yeah that would work um let's see here though you guys got any what happened to y'all this week um padre's lost man just a heartbreaker absolute heartbreaker of a series yeah garrett threw his hat at the tv yeah that was all time that was all time yeah i thought it was gonna break for a second i discovered the best bad movie of the year

what you got for us it's called the requin where's that on it's on hulu it's a shark movie which should be off limits at this point in time those have got to stop yeah but it is holy fucking shit when did you watch this uh it was sunday but it's like somehow the cgi is bad and it's just what do you mean somehow all of them are bad no it came out this year i know i know but all the shark movie cgis are at you remember fucking what was the one we watched with uh sharknado no no it was with uh liam neeson in the snow that's uh that's a wolf movie no no it's a snow it was like snow snow shark snow it was like the one where they're stuck in a cave and he has to like go save him he's just with the with the

retard driver guy oh ice road ice oh that one's terrible ice road the cgi in ice road is worse than like doom when it first came out like videoosions are the exact same in that movie. If you haven't seen Ice Road, you're going to want to see that. I don't get how they keep fucking that up. I think they fuck up the budgeting. Like they were like, we either get Liam Neeson

or this explosion looks good. Oh, you know what I saw last night? Possibly the scariest movie of all time, Smile. Oh, is that good? Dude, it's fucking gnarly. It's that good? It's fucking sketch. I have to go check it out.

It's the best scary movie I've seen in a long time. Let's go. The jump scares, I was going to invite you guys, but it was super last minute. No, I'm serious. It was literally at 8, and then Dana asked me if I wanted to go at like 7.30, and I was like, fuck it. They do $5 Tuesdays at AMC? Oh, and he's just keeping that info from us

too. No, I just found this all out. That's okay. I've never been more scared by jump scares. They just come out of absolute fucking nowhere. Didn't sleep great last night. Neither did I. So no nicotine, dude. Day two. You're only on day two?

Yeah. Did someone have a fumble up this weekend? We started fucking Saturday. That was Monday. We'll talk later okay okay um let's see um shout out garrett for pulling off a kid's costume for the 20th year in a row god damn it i haven't even bought one yet you don't know what size i'm getting it's funny because for whatever reason i just go through the week and i'll just my brain

just think of ways to roast. Okay. He thinks of ways to roast. He can't speak. Yeah. You can't even talk. So keep the roast coming. I let him kind of do it to himself.

Yeah. Did you guys see that Brittany Griner was denied appeal? Yeah, that's fucked. She's going what? Nine years? Nine years in Russian prison? Nine years in Russian jail, bro? That's so fucking sketch. For weed?

I'm over it. Fucker. I don't care. I over it fucker i don't care i don't care it doesn't matter to me brutal that's like one of the most savage things i've ever heard though what nine years in a russian jail for bringing a little weed pen you're super dumb for that one oh yeah i mean i agree she's dumb but like there's a the smallest part of me that's like that's really fucked up. Dude, I think you just don't go to Russia as a rule. Yeah, that's that'd be. Oh, that's a smart play. That'd be rule number one.

Don't ever go to Russia. That's like life rule number one. It's like don't go to Russia. Then don't drive drunk. It's easy one, two, right? I guess. Sure. Yeah.

There's maybe a few more in between there, but, you know. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's a pretty loose list you got there. But, okay, we'll run with that. Yeah, the commandments. Mark's commandments are real bad. You're jumping off point.

All right, so we do have the merch giveaway, though. So we had. There he is. Let's go. Let's see him. Run us through what's going on. Yeah, so we did an Instagram merch giveaway thing. We're doing a random number between 1 and 78 to pick the winner.

All right, the number is 31, which is John Marsh. No way! Wow, that's a big win. I'll take it. That's huge. No, but actually, I was like, wait, really? That's fucked up. You look like fucking fraud

scumbag New Yorker the winner is Anthony Marler so we'll message you brother Anthony Marler yeah or message us with whatever shirt you want we'll reach out and let them know that you won hopefully you're listening and you won congrats someone who's never listened to the show

and then we also have this new segment which we're fucking gonna to do every week now. The roasted or toasted. Okay. Okay. Are we doing it? Are we doing the first one this week? Yeah, we got, we got, we'll get to it.

We'll get to it in a bit. So roasted or toasted. It's either, we'll either roast you or if you're just like fucked up, we'll just, I mean, I guess it's just either way. It's roast or roast. Yeah. It's roast. You can just get fucking roasted.

We just wanted to come up with a cute little name, but we're just going to roast the shit out of you. Yeah. So just send in pictures of you fucked up or like message fails on dating apps or whatever, and we'll fucking tear it apart here. Yeah, I guess the premise would be we'll roast like something funny, or if you're just toasted, send in a funny pic.

Yeah, well, the toasted could be like we're roasting someone else. Like you can. Yeah, we're toasted. I think the toast is just you are toasted. Yeah, toasted is you're toasted and we're roasting you. Okay. All right. Okay, so this one's message fails here.

This is good. These are really good. All right, I guess we just got to read it for everyone. We'll read it for the audio only boys. I think you start from just right there. Yeah, the big one. You probably fucked guys for a lot less, so why are you busting my balls? And second, I'm probably rich enough to take you on any kind of date that you want.

Third, yes, I'm probably going to end up cheating on you, but that doesn't mean I don't like you. Replies, go to bed. The next one says, I'm in Cape Town and it's not nighttime yet. Then it goes, he goes on to say, does his dad also own a four-star hotel? then it goes he goes on to say does his dad also own a four-star hotel um yeah i love i think there is a way to go about being angry about text message or a girl not replying to you and it's start with a list yes yeah go through go through the whole list of why and list your own shitty ass qualities for sure that's's the way to do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like we go through the whole guilt trip.

Like you probably fuck guys for less. Like why not? Why not? Yeah, why not me? Second, I'm rich. And third, you go ahead and shit on yourself. So I think this was an honest representation of what he's bringing to this pitch. Yeah, I almost respect that.

It was an honest pitch. I almost respect it. I mean, yeah, it's honest i do respect uh the go straight to bed yes uh that's a good call didn't work didn't work yeah he refused to uh abide by that now if you're gonna go ahead and say does his dad also own a four-star hotel see i just that's my favorite part yeah like does he though probably not how good is a four-star hotel see i just that's my favorite part yeah like does he though probably not how good is a four-star hotel is that like a really nice motel eight no four-star hotels are actually pretty nice but i just don't think that's a brag like you you could have said hotel yeah if you're gonna be an asshole put an extra star yeah maybe he is lying and it's a three-star

he's just had to amp it up to four yeah maybe he yeah that's that's fair a four-star hotel is like a mid-range chain you know oh see is this okay this is the girl who posts these on her instagram story yeah uh i love that she throws the little emojis of her roast see in the bottom left she put the little yeah oh yeah this girl's a savage yeah she absolutely puts these people on blast yeah i love it which i respect because these people just can't be gallivanting around talking like this. They can't. They have to be put on blast at some point.

You're not allowed to just speak like that. No, it's not. Can we look up where this guy's hotel is and maybe give it a couple bad reviews, get it down to three stars? Yeah, I'd like to do that. We can make that happen for sure. Okay. What do we got next? Let's see what we got next.

Okay. So we got, can you get that ass out the way you're blocking the tile? What does that mean? Title? Maybe he meant title. Okay. Madison. Or maybe your ass is just taking up the entire pick.

You can't even see the floor tile. Oh, yeah. Okay. That's almost good. Yeah. Oh, okay. No, I think he's complimenting it. Yeah, he starts out nice.

Yeah. I think he's complimenting like, yo, that ass is fat. Ah, okay. Okay. We got, when you post an ass pic like that it's like a retard mating call and all the retards just start dming from a guy that's dm yeah which is my favorite part that's really absolutely body bagging yourself yeah he's on fire keep reading keep reading okay you didn't bring it on yourself your ass did shr. Okay. Is there a high-pitched frequency for retards I can't hear when you post?

Oh, so he realized he bodied himself. Yeah. He realized he bodied himself, and he said, I just replied not because of the mating call. Yeah. I just sent this. Okay. Is there a high-pitched frequency?

No, he's saying he got the frequency. No, no, no. He's saying he can't hear it. Okay. Because if not, goddamn, they must be some in the water. I have one downfall of you having a nice ass. I found one con, not a pro. Let me tell you what.

I bet you fart really damn loud. That ass probably acts like a mad amplifier. That's good. This guy is just out of pocket. pocket see and then she keeps she makes sure that guy's thing is on there at the sleepy oh yeah she fucking blasts them these she posts these on her story i respect for that yeah she posts them on her story and then she has thank you for sending him in but she has a video of her going like this like just bapping them like she's shooting them yeah it's pretty good that he's obsessed with the sounds which i love

yeah people are people are down really bad i okay i gotta i gotta admit if he would have just went with that last one i would have respected that yeah yeah it could have worked if he opened with that that's pretty funny i agree yeah it's like there's a couple bangers in there but the in between messages kind of just throw you off a bit. Yeah, he got, I mean, he was trying to, I do want to know what the con was too. Do you think the con was that you fart really damn well? I think he's leading up to that. I found one con, not a pro.

Let me tell you what. Yeah. I bet you fart really damn well. I find that a pro. That's the con of her having a fat ass. Yeah. Yeah, that might be a pro. Okay.

Okay. So somebody did a college research project on our podcast. You're kidding. Did you guys not see this? No, I did not see. Yeah. This is real as fuck. Um, so, uh, it's just all around good. Let's read it. Okay. So for the genre and audience section, first of all, you got to capitalize that a an audience, but here we go in detail, describe the category for this podcast the topics covered and who the intended audience for the podcast is the category for this podcast would be current events and topics in the world of social media festivals and music this podcast

whoever talks about the fun or joking side of these categories terrible grammar for example no fomo's last episode what the fuck is goingO's last episode. What the fuck is going on? They mess it. They mentioned what the fuck is going on, which included current fake news topics such as current drug shortages and whether or not birds are real parentheses. They are not evidence. They stated was that no one has ever seen baby pigeons,

which is true. Yep. That's fair. The intended audience for their podcast is the degenerates of this college generation who as they say like to fuck around and find out i must say i'd like to think that was like the end of a 12 pack of twisted teas yeah no no yeah i was gonna say can we comment on the outside of this picture after slamming there's a bong in the top right is that a bomb yes whoever said this is

a fucking goddamn legend yeah fuck yeah yeah so there's nothing like writing your college paper off a twisted fucking ripper on a podcast about basically the worst shit all right we're gonna take a quick break football's back baby we back to seeing Mahomes sling beautiful balls all over the field, and your friends at Manscaped are here to help you sling your beautiful balls all season long. Manscaped's state-of-the-art tech will have your weapon looking more loaded than the AFC West. Football may be rough, but your balls care doesn't have to be with Manscaped.

Join the 6 million men worldwide who trust Manscaped by going to Manscaped.com for 20% off, plus free shipping with the code NOFOMO. I mean, I know we're talking football here, but we're also talking JD. He doesn't like tattoos. He doesn't like pubes. Okay, so if you want to be set and ready to go, ready, set, hike for JD, shave them pubes. Maybe not all of them. Maybe.

Whatever he likes. It's not about you. It's what he likes. Maybe. Make sure you meet the best value bundle for the Manscaped Pocket Rockets with the Platinum Package. Look, this has got to be a Super Bowl winning roster,

but don't take my word for it. Go to manscaped.com and get 20% off and free shipping with the code NOFOMO. That's 20% off with free shipping at Manscaped when you use the code NOFOMO, Manscaped for turning you into your own MVP. Now back to the show. Hey, Halloween's happening.

I'll tell you one thing that we're definitely not ready for is tiktok on halloween oh we're fucked well i don't know if you guys had tiktok last year during hall i didn't what do you mean didn't browse it very often i don't think i don't think i had it but i don't even think the girls dancing starts happening in oh halloween costume oh i didn't know where you were going with this. Yeah. Yeah. We might as well not even go out. That's what I'm saying.

It's kind of... You don't need to. You might as well just hole up with the boys and just scroll endlessly. I bet you She-Hulk will be trending. Ooh, She-Hulk. You have top girl costumes. She-Hulk has got to be up there. Just body bagging some DaBaby song

with your fucking ass cheeks out. She-Hulk would be gas. Just full green body paint. Yeah. She-Hulk has got to be up there. Just body bagging some DaBaby song with your fucking ass cheeks out. She-Hulk would be gas. Just full green body paint. Yeah. I bet you there's plenty of workout chicks that have that queued up. Oh, for sure. You know there's some bodybuilder fucking demons that are going to paint themselves green. Some absolute standardized out woman.

Dude, bodybuilder sex has got to be fucking aggressive. Oh, did we just discover the year's potential worst couple costume? Hulk and She-Hulk? Just the worst workout couple of all time. I can already see it. Like the tatted up guy wearing a fucking titty tank top. Oh, God. Painted green.

Oh, God. Wait, hold up. With Hulk hands? Oh, you got to wear the Hulk hands stay on during sex. I think we have a pre-emptive if we see that i think that's going to be the worst couple costume of the year i think that's pretty solid she hulk and he hulk yeah she and he hulk would be brutal we did that though oh that i mean that'd be gas now that would be a funny guy thing yes yes i mean and garrett she hulk for sure

oh 100 well i'd be twink hulk yeah he would be have to be something in between i like that pre pre-transform Hulk, maybe. What other couple costumes are we afraid to see? What's his name? Banner something? Oh, Bruce Banner? Yeah, he's just regular old Bruce. Just regular Bruce?

Wait, I have a side note here. You think bodybuilder sex is the most fucking aggressive shit of all time or what? It's got to be, right? It's got to be up there. Like both the guy and the girl are bodybuilders? It would be kind of weird. It's just like two rocks bumping into each other. Yeah, you can't really imagine it being like sensual.

Just thud, thud, thud, thud. There's just so much testosterone from both parties just pent up. There's a lot of testosterone. It's just like two dudes fucking, I guess. I was in the fucking gym though. That's probably even less though. Yeah, that could be tender. That could be tender for sure.

Does every gym have a token guy that screams every time he works out? For sure. I think there's dozens. Do you guys notice that? I haven't noticed because I haven't been in a gym in years. I don't go to a gym. I mean, the other day I was there and this guy was just like, I mean, it was almost a moan.

I wanted to go over there and spot him and do it with him, do the moan with him. Yes. Which I feel like would have went pretty well. I think it would have been a good way to teach him. He probably would have fucking beat the shit out of you. But I feel like it's always like a 40 year old dude. That's like way too jacked. It doesn't look great. And he's bald. He's got leathery, just leathery skin. Is this just me? Veins just bulging out. Like,

yeah, I just haven't been to the gym in like three years. Me and Jay go to a private gym, you know? Yeah. All right. But anyways, um, anyways um what would you guys say is your fucking best costume you've ever worn yeah sure we're talking about we're talking about couple costumes yeah we're talking about couple costumes dude the boy takes a couple shots and he's fucking free flowing lost he looked out at you see him looked at you didn't see me do shit aside from she and he hulk we don't have to call him he hulk hulk and she hulk what other couple costumes are you afraid to see this year am i afraid to see yeah i think anything like what are some all-time woes dude i feel like the emo couple costume you see that shit going on you know there's some weird shit the emo couple costume i can they might not even be dressed up

yeah that's just i kind of respect that yeah if you're not actually email that's kind of a good one yeah if you're emo that's it's you're just instantly what we're joking with you just keep talking you don't have to say what i'm talking i'm out here talking dude you guys don't like the podcast i can't take five shots and just be out here talking yeah i know dude i'm out here just go from one extreme to the other bro dude i'll fucking keep going all day what's up what are we talking about um most i mean yeah yeah costumes we don't want to see yeah i mean worst worst couple costumes worst couple costumes i mean i'll stick to it if you're

a prop in the costume yeah you're a cuck. If you're an accessory to the girl's costume. Yes, your ass. Like, what's a fucking prime one of that? One I just hate right off the bat that you don't see often, but anything like salt and pepper or ketchup and mustard. Okay, so those ones are different. Those are just like if you are a couple's costume that is just two things that go together.

Yeah, yeah. Like the plug and the socket. Yeah. Or like peanut butter and jelly. Fuck off. Dude, if you're the plug and the socket, you get the fuck out of my house. As a couple, that's like doing like a gender reveal. Yeah.

Like that's just something no one wants. We get it. Yeah. A two-year-old could have came up with that idea. Good job. But when it comes to the prop the worst one i've seen is uh a girl was like an influencer and the guy was the ring light oh my oh fuck that's top cuck all time that's that's that's horrendous if you're a ring light that's horrendous the only

good couple costume i've ever seen is a bag of coke and a spoon yes like he's still an accessory but that's a fucking banger yeah or cocaine and pablo escobar is what oh that's a great one were you there for that brian did that he did that his girlfriend was cocaine she wore some fucking like syrup du soleil fucking that's white dress that's gas and he was fucking pablo escobar that was all time that's respectable yeah but i'd say just couple costumes in general they're very tough to pull off decently um yeah i do love how many batmans and catwomans are we gonna see this year yeah that's the new batman oh fuck yeah i mean that is another one i'm trying to think of what else has been big like i can know

this if you're a girl and you're catwoman i'm in but if you're a if you have batman next to you come on buddy wait can you guys give me some props on this when i did white chicks yeah that was with my ex-girlfriend, that's a fucking good couple costume. And I wore heels for that sit. And you, yeah, you went sit, sit, sit. That was a banger costume. Six, eight, me walking around playing beer pong, dunking. Yeah, that was pretty money.

Yeah, you don't want that. I did Skrillex and Diplo one year. That was pretty good. That was pretty good. Yeah. That was pretty good. But what do I not want to see? Any couple costume, really.

Any couple costume is ass. I mean, I'm trying to think of good ones for this year. I was thinking maybe if you were like Johnny Depp and then she was the lawyer. Oh, that's good. Oh, that's good. That could be pretty good. Oh, if you were fucking Johnny. No, if you're Johnny Depp and fucking Amber Heard.

That's kind of a good one. You just fight the whole time? That would be good. Should one of us do this? Should we do Johnny Depp, Amber Heard, and the lawyer? Like a trio? Yeah. I don't know how as guys we can pull that off.

The chicks. But late night, it would be pretty fun. It would be fun. It would be good. Yeah. Yeah, what else would be a trending one this year that wouldn't be terrible if you are damon and and renee era oh that's gonna be number one and two that's that's fuck she hold i don't know if that's a good one though no yeah that's gonna be the one best for

sure i wouldn't i wouldn't hate it i feel like if you're johnny devon amber heard that's like that's yo we're about to break up next week we're just signaling to everyone here that it's over no that's s to your costume this year yeah i think that i think that would even show a strong relationship honestly yeah yeah we're confident that we're gonna be like the worst couple of the year but the guy's just actually in character the whole night yeah just getting ripped he's like body bagging her oh yeah if you were like jack sparrow and what's's her big character from Aquaman? That'd be a pretty good costume. What is she?

She's not Aquaman. She's like a side character. No, she's leader of the fucking... She's Queen Mermaid or something. That movie was fucking terrible. We've divulged some couple costumes. Have you ever done anything heinous? I don't think I've ever done a couple's costume.

No? No. I mean, you definitely have. You're the guy who would not do it, I'll tell you that. No, I don't think I have. He's the kind of guy that would just shut it down immediately. Like, nope, we're not doing that. Yeah.

No, I've never done one. You've never done a couple costumes? I can confidently say that, yeah. All right, what's your most banger costume in general that you think you've done, that you've pulled off? I got this. For you? Yeah, I got this. Oh, I know know ours i know ours wait you were in this too no we i feel like we all have we all did it we've all together we've all had 10 out of 10 costumes but i would say my best one was um okay so we were in vegas and uh we were all doing grandma costumes and it was free drinks for girls at the bar. And I told the bartender

that I identify as a woman dressed as a grandma and they had to give me free drinks. I mean, that's a good, that's a good way to swing it. But the grandma, did you do the grandma's with us? I didn't, I wasn't there for the grandma. That was one of our best costumes ever. I was, I got so fucked up before we even went to the club that I was in character for two full hours of the night just running through the casino yelling about the asbestos. Asbestos? The canes were the best part. No, we had walkers.

Yeah, it was great. Walkers and canes. Okay, so me and Jay were— Oh, yeah, wait. I have a couple's costume. Me and Morg dressed up as our moms. Oh, that's gas. Each other's moms?

That's highbrow shit. And you guys did the dads like the next year. Yeah, we did. And we're dads the next year. So yeah, I've done a couple's costume. Those were bangers. Yeah, we've done a couple's costumes. Yeah, those ripped.

Just you two, yeah. The moms was so, we should do that again, dude. That was too good. I was going to say, we should rip the dads again. The dads is always fire. The dads one is always gas. I'll order us some real dad costumes after this. For sure.

What else have we done? Let's see. What was last year? Was that middle of COVID? I feel like we had some hitters in college. Yeah. I think. Patrick Starr was a good one for you.

Yeah. Anything with body paint. It's a good story for sure. It's a good story. Yeah. I wouldn't say it's a good story for sure it's a good story yeah i wouldn't say it's a good costume yeah no so i was patrick star i was wondering if he was gonna tell it yeah yeah you just paused he had to fucking figure it out here we go so i was patrick star it's pretty difficult to draw the the coral on the shorts i will say in okay and purple sharpie i could see that especially with your shaky ass i could have just bought the coral on the shorts, I will say, in purple Sharpie. I could see that. Especially with your shaky-ass hands.

You probably could have just bought the Patrick Star shorts if you weren't so broke at the time. A whole side piece to that is college trying to put together a costume the cheapest way possible. With like $10, do you mean? Oh, yeah. Yeah, because now, yeah,

I'll just buy the wig and buy the mustache and whatever I need to buy. But in college, it's like I have $17.84 in my bank account in my bank yeah and i'm using 10 of that for chipotle in an hour well so i had to fucking just run train on some gym shorts i was like okay these are out i had lime green gym shorts yeah those those deserve to be ruined yeah yeah so purple sharpie the coral on them but the pink body paint sleeping in that sleeping sleeping in that yeah it's not good sleeping in that yeah leave what there what did you do in your pink body paint morgue let's just say there was another person at the party that ended up also covered in pink body paint someone else's Patrick sorry by the end of the day someone else i'm willing to tell this

story just because it's so far dated it's like oh, oh, in my past, I may have done something. Yeah, yeah. This was 10 years ago. Oh, yeah, yeah. It was so long. You would never do anything like this now. I would never do it again. Yeah.

But just having pink body paint all over your bed in the morning, it's all time. It is all time. Yeah. That was you telling the story. That was the whole story right there. That's the whole story. Okay. Okay.

What else we got here? I had a pretty good Dwight costume mixed in there. Just because I can actually do the middle part. You've been wearing that pretty strong. Pretty tough. Your hair just naturally goes middle part? I'm middled up, dude. Me and Sam did the Miami Coke dealers.

That was a fun one. Just absolutely doused ourselves in baby powder similar to. I am proud to say I've never done like a topical I think that kind of sucks when you do like a squid games like the COVID year or something like that it's good if you're out of options

you know what I mean that's just if you're not creative if you are anything that there's 18 other people at the same party that you're at that are the same thing I can't say I've ever been something that there was another person dressed up as unless i went with that person you know what i mean yeah so other than other than patrick star what else is a uh the best costume a good or bad hookup costume good or bad hookup costume i think well anything with body paint or like an excessive amount of makeup where the other person like i there's this

one picture of the what's that fucking there's like, there's this one picture of the, what's that fucking, there's like a video of this guy at a college party, this African-American gentleman with this white girl and his whole face is fucking ghost white. With her white makeup all over. Yeah, it's so good. Did you just say African-American gentleman? Okay, there's a black kid trying to be PC. That one is an all-time picture.

Dude, that's so good. Just absolutely looking like a fucking ghost. Anything? I do want to take a moment here to recognize the girls who think that they're special effects makeup artists at this time of year. And they'll do a full super gory or something, like a really realistic cut. I think that's an interesting hookup to have to work around. You're like, oh, my neck is sliced open. Yeah, like a fucking murdered bride or something. Yeah, and you're like,

you forget about it and you're like, fucking lick some makeup powder off. You're covering fucking red blood all over your face. Yeah, that's for sure. Alright, so we put together what we think is the Elite Eight of girl costumes for Halloween.

These are the classics, These are the best ones. These are the ones you want to see. They're all quite classic. Nothing innovative here. Yeah, we didn't go anything crazy. This is year on year, back to back. Year after year. Champs.

Year after year. This is the Alabama. This is the college football playoffs. It's the same teams. It's exactly what you expect to see. Nothing changes. Something I will have to note is year after year, girls find a way to innovate, even

within the constraints of such a basic concept. You know what? And you could say the same thing about Nick Saban in Alabama. Okay? He's the same team. He's running on the same track, but they're innovating. They're adding. There's innovation involved. So going in order here, one through eight, we had Bunny. Number two, we have Cat.

Number three was Maid. Number four is Schoolgirl. Five is Nurse. four is school girl. Five is nurse. Six is cowgirl. Seven is cop. And number eight, clean it up, is cheerleader. So we made a little March Madness bracket for these. They're going head to head. We're going to pick a winner. We're going to pick an all time. Yep. In the first round round here we have bunny versus cheerleader the one eight seed i think this is easily bunny without question cheerleaders not my favorite you know it doesn't we had as as the bottom seed here it's overplayed i'm not a big fan of the pom-poms yep okay now when you're talking about ones that girls have to innovate on bunny is one of those ones yeah

cheerleaders tough to innovate that's what i think that's what my gripe is here um you know and then you get the sad like girl who wears their like cheerleading costume from high school or the dance team yeah not even cheerleader it's dance team it's with the step below like i just don't feel like yeah there's just not a lot of room for growth with this one um i'm voting bunny all the way. I would like to also add in that bunny has the advantage of you can really dress down the bunny. Yes. You can really lower the amount of clothes. Cheerleader, you have to keep a certain amount on

to be able to keep the costume together. Exactly. Okay. Mork, are you in agreeance there? Bunny moves? Bunny moves up. Bunny hop. Bunny hops into the next round okay uh so the

next round here we have uh maid versus nurse which i think is a really power matchup this is this is i think this is the toughest sleeper matchup of the entire bracket here um they're kind of similar in in the uh i i you know what i mean it's equal amounts of clothing different color schemes exactly that's pretty much you're going black and white or red and white that's pretty much you're basically wearing a corset and it's gonna be black and white or it's gonna be red and white it's got to be nurse I feel like I do like see the thing about I was gonna does it I was gonna say that I was gonna say that it's the headwear for me but the maids wear the little the little headwear too oh yeah that little bonnet wear the little, the little headwear too.

Oh yeah. That little bonnet. Lacey little bonnet. Yeah. The bonnet. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

This one's a toss. Now nurse nurse does have a couple of little amplifiers that they can bring in. If they do like some sexy stuff with the stethoscope, I was going to say the stethoscope, bring in a sexy stethoscope. They're like, Oh, listen to my heart or something.

Or they have like a little, they have like a little on their tit and you're like, all right. Syringe with shots. Oh, see, fun party. Syringe would do it stick it on their tit and you're like, all right. A little syringe with shots in it maybe? Oh, see, yeah. Fun party trick. Syringe would do it. It's nurse.

It's nurse. It's nurse. It's nurse. It's nurse. I love that we figured that one out. Clap it up. Okay. That's going to be a power matchup next.

What's this next one here? We've got schoolgirl versus cowgirl. Cowgirl. Schoolgirl versus cowgirl. The two girls. For me, I'm going schoolgirl all day. There's no point behind it. I mean, I don't know.

No, see, there's – I love that you started there. Okay. I don't know if you guys have seen the sexy Woody costume, but it goes. It does go. It bangs. That cow print does some shit. If you are rocking – Little – Thong. It's like, yeah. It's not That cow print does some shit. If you are rocking... Little...

Oh, it's like... Yeah, it's not... Basically a denim thong. Yeah, it's what would be shorts, but they're... I don't even know what you call those. Yeah, they're denim... It's denim thong. Yeah.

And boots. You know what? Okay, so here's my argument. I had to rethink it. I had to rethink it. This is... Okay. It's boots for me.

See, that was a thing for me that I don't think I love. Okay. You know what I mean? Okay. Because I hate country music. I'm not a big fan of that whole. See, I knew you were going to be against me on this one. I'm more of your decider here then.

We've got one for one. It's got to be schoolgirl. Okay. Yeah. It's got to be. It's got to be. It does have to be fuck see because they can accessorize two maybe you got like a little uh fuck notebook or something the ruler oh ruler

ruler that's what i was thinking i was like pencil though they're not carrying a pencil but if you got a nice little ruler okay run around smack and move it up let's okay school girl wins okay this next one is cat versus cop um i mean it's i'm cat i'm cat all day it's cat i don't even think it's got to be i don't think we need to talk about it's debatable uh cop does have a lot of fun accessories and stuff it's accessories it's also if you get to put on the persona of the cop. Oh. See how you're getting into the role play aspect. Yeah, if you're giving me the role play cop action, you're fighting up against the cat. But if a girl does one of these.

Oh, it's game over. It's game. It's cat. It's cat. It's cat. It's cat. Wow, this might be the horniest segment we've ever done. I mean, yeah.

Okay. It's just costume. Are we down bad for girl costumes right now? Well, it doesn't help that Morg picked all porn stars for the pictures. The pictures that he put up on the screen are all porn stars. These are all just standard Google pictures. Yep, for sure. These aren't screenshotted from the hub.

All right, we're in the final four, folks. And it's a real doozy. We've got Bunny versus Nurse and Schoolgirl versus Cat. For the NLCS and ALCS. And it's your classic Bama versus Ohio State here in the first round. It's Bunny versus Nurse. I mean, I hate to just let the one seed run away with it, but I just don't really know how you beat the Bunny.

There's only one way you fuck up the Bunny. It's if you're not just wearing lingerie. Yeah, and if you don't have the little tail on the bunny. There's only one way you fuck up the bunny. It's if you're not just wearing lingerie. Yeah. And if you don't have the little tail on the back. If you have a little pom-pom tail, you're shamed. Yeah. Yeah, that's a win.

If you don't have it, your shit's busted. And that's the exact same, if I can go back to the football analogy. Yeah. If Ohio State comes in, and that's Nurse in this case. That's Nurse, okay. And Alabama comes out without a bunny tail.

Yeah. You know, and they're not wearing lingerie yeah you get an upset every you get an upset every every once in a while but nurses got to come out and play a perfect game yeah for the record the picture that you put up the the bunny doesn't have a tail but i'm just envisioning has to some prior ones i've seen well you threw up a lot of roads for for the gang which is i mean that's impossible which i hate to say is influencing this thing but it is it is it is to be honest roads for for the gang which is i mean that's impossible which i hate to say is influencing this thing but it is it is it is to be honest i'm being i'm being completely is it up or

subjective here objective i'm being objective no it's subjective objective okay well yeah i'm going with lana yeah lana moves up around moves up pip it okay all right and and the next round here closing it out see yeah this is a fair this is a more fair matchup i think yeah we've got school girl versus cat but there's a picture you put up of that school girl's not my favorite iteration but uh so that he had to keep with the lisa ann yeah so that's teacher lisa ann you have to imagine school girl okay i'm just imagining i mean what are your thoughts on this one? It's tough for me. So here's, I'll give schoolgirl a chance here

because I don't think it does have, it's another big matchup here for Kat. If Kat does come out in that version of Kat that's up there, the full leather fit, I think schoolgirl wins. 100%. I'm not a big fan of that but if cat comes out if cat comes out because that's more like a cat woman which i like but it's not the cat costume

that i'm thinking of to take this thing home now cat in my mind is strictly just uh the cat ears the the let's be honest it's the horriest outfit you can be the thing about that we're sleeping on about cat is that encompasses the entire family of cats which includes tiger lion yes i don't know any others yeah you can get as soon as you bring stripes or spots it's a whole different aspect of the game um and i don't know if we're just down bad for fake uh animal ears but i think Cat's taking this fucker home. Yeah, Cat's taking it home. I would go Cat here. Yeah.

Okay. Again, if I see a lick of the back of the wrist, it's just like meow. See, that's what brings us into our championship round here, the bunny versus the cat. As the bunny, you don't really have that sort of star power little extra sauce. You also brought up another great point earlier. Cat's versatility. Yeah.

Cat has so many cats. A bunny's a bunny. A bunny's a bunny. You know what I mean? Now, on a road just putting up a fight with that. She's not letting this one go down without a battle. She's not quitting, but I think it's got to go cat. I'm going cat cat and it is because

I'm glad I was struck with that sense of Which way are you leaning? If you had to lean. If you were stepping your toe. Don't worry about us. If you're dipping your toe in a camp, which one are you going in? Without even hesitation.

Let me pitch you a scenario. No, no, no. Let me pitch you a scenario. It's Halloween. You're sitting at the punch scenario. I have to go bunny here. No, no, no. Let me pitch you a scenario. It's Halloween. You're sitting at the punch bowl. A cat and a bunny roll up. It's bunny. Which one are you bobbing for apples with? You're going bunny?

Yeah. Really? She starts nibbling on some lettuce. Does the versatility factor not sway you at all? Okay. What kind of cat are you picturing right now? A black cat. Okay.

So imagine you're picturing a cheetah. A tiger or a cheetah. All right, well, then I have to change. Yeah, exactly. Okay, well, we're just asking you. Okay, so based off the... The pure versatility of it. Yes.

The utility and the versatility. I think it's got to be cat. Are we unanimous? It's cat. Unanimous. It's unanimous. The kitty cat is taking this fucker home. And I mean, let's be honest here

this is these are all classics you really can't go wrong you were going off this list and you were like oh shoot i was going to be a nurse now i have to be you don't know you could be the nurse don't change it up all any of these eight the elite eight of like a trillion variations of costumes yeah so if you're in this elite eight let's just say you're within the best eight dress women at the and let's remember the common theme out of all these that brings them up into the elite eight is lack of clothing so the less clothing you're wearing it's gonna be good yeah if you're wearing like a 1950s nurse gown then maybe think about going yeah yeah or say if you're wearing a onesie like a like a sleeping onesie cat costume or if you're wearing a peter cottontail costume

like a full oh yeah like the kid from uh freaking christmas story yeah if you come out in that yeah no no that's not really gonna work um so it's cat so i think cat's taking home the uh october madness for uh we have another little fun tidbit for you guys okay um we're gonna do our top five where we say to top five and don't tell you the category yeah yeah and it's top five halloween edition okay so without saying the category yep what is your top five halloween edition who wants to go I'll go okay jack-o-lantern the monsters from stranger things vampire teeth candy bowl with the hand that pops up and the sorting hat from Harry Potter this is top five things you can fit in your ass again no it is not it's not this time I knew you were gonna think that that's why I went different one more time uh jack-o-Lantern, the monsters from

Stranger Things. Vampire teeth, candy bowl with the hand that pops up, and the sorting hat. This is a tough one. Yeah, I made it a little harder this time. Okay. But you're going to be mad that you didn't guess it.

Yeah. You guys ready? What was the first one? Jack-O-Lantern. See, I immediately thought it was things you could fit in your ass. The Monsters from Stranger Things. And then there's the hand. See, that one throws me off. Yeah. It shouldn't, but it does.

Hmm. The hand? The candy bowl with the little hand that pops up and grabs you? That comes up and grabs you. It's not things that you want to sit on. Correct. Oh, it's not? Fuck. I love that they're all in the same category, though. up and grabs you grabs you it's not things that you want to sit on correct oh it's not fuck um

i love that they're all in the same category though you know how my brain works i'll give it to you guys halloween pocket pussies oh fuck oh god you're sick yeah that's now the only one on there that should be kind of dangerous obviously the monster from stranger things yeah that one threw me off um but the vampire how would you explain that one holy fuck they open up yeah but they it's a big hole they're not very tender beings i mean but as when it comes to halloween there's not a lot of tender ones that's true yeah this is they're all gonna be they're all gonna be a little rough this is demon kink shit like is it dead oh it could go either way on that I don't know what their throat game is like

should I rip mine? yeah go for it a pillowcase full of candy a wristband from spin nightclub a lightsaber little bow peeps bonnet and one of the boys what you hope you wake up to in your bed in the morning

top 5 things I want to find on the floor of my bedroom after a successful Halloween night. That was close. That was close. So it's right there. All right. A candy corn button down an ET mask, pumpkin patch tickets,

three all night passes to McGuffin's Haunted Tractor Ride and Plan B. A perfect night for Morg. Oh, fuck. Your credit card statement in the morning after. No, it's top five things your mom is paying for in the morning after Halloween. Oh, fuck. Okay, yeah, sure. Wait, so that candy corn button down button down yeah your mom's paying for that

oh that's free yeah oh she's she's all about your whole fit and all the date shit yeah i'm with it okay okay yeah i like that i like that all right straight into the um getting ghosted portion of the this week's episode how do you know when a girl is about to ghost you about to yeah i i don't think it's a gradual process definitely not the texts get a whole lot shorter yeah yeah we're talking dryness of replies i think i think any amount of time over like an hour on a reply without a good, like without like a proper explanation. Like if you're, if you're talking to a girl who's like, Oh, I'm a school teacher or something. I'm at work and she doesn't reply until after school every day. That's fair. That's normal. But if it's something where it's like, it's like a Saturday

afternoon. Yeah. If, if, if you ever, I think if you ever get an, oh, sorry, I was just super busy yesterday. Oh, if it's the next day. Yeah. See you later. If ever it's the next day. Yeah. I think, yeah. So delayed responses, texts are going from like three to four sentence things to like

one word. If you get a ha ha and nothing else. Yeah. One of my things was if you just get a ha ha response oh yeah in general i think it's over oh it's only two ha's yeah if there's no follow-up to her side of the conversation yeah like even if you did say something funny and she did laugh and she only says ha ha back it's like okay you're done well because at least if it was funny you'd get three ha's not two you'd get a ha ha but then you'd get like a follow-up to the joke, another something.

But I think if you ever get just two ha-has in general, it's probably not going well. Yes. By itself, yes. Unless it's following a full sentence. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you just get a singular text that says ha-ha. Yeah, any one-word response. It's starting to get really spooky around that time. Yes, any one-word response.

And also if she invites you to something and it's like, if you want, like you could come to if you want. Yeah. That's, I think that's post ghost. I think that's like if you accidentally caught her in something like, oh, are you going to this? Yeah. Say like she posts on her story, like can't wait for Chris Lake tonight.

And then you're like, oh, are you going to Chris Lake? Like, you want to come pregame together? Yeah. and then you're like oh are you going to chris lake yeah like come you want to come pre-game together yeah you're like oh are you gonna be it are you gonna be at jake's for the pre-game and she's like yeah come through if you want yeah if it's if it's ever if you want it's over but that's that's a girl that's already ghosted you with the if you want i think true true true true because that's like you sending a desperation like attempt to link up but she knows that you could be there. You could run into each other, so she replies just so it's not completely

awkward. They're smart. They're fucking smart. They are. I think about to be ghosted falls into just a category of you're already ghosted. If you're about to be, you already are. These are good signs that it's getting spooky. You know what I mean? When the pace of the conversation starts slowing down. So best ways to get out of being ghosted best ways to get out so this i think

goes along with what we were just saying when you get a dry reply you basically know you have one more shot you get a hail mary yeah you get one shot to make a really good funny or a really big like some we're connecting on some sort of thing yeah something's got to flip the script heavily see this is where i'd go to not text oh so you would you would flip this as flip it on them and start ghosting them well i would go to like your response to getting ghosted is just like she's not replying well then i'm not replying but there's nothing to reply to no so if i was getting ghosted i would go to like i would work i'll send the last message okay i'm not gonna double text no i would if i was getting if i felt like i was gonna get ghosted i would just go to my meme game oh just switch the venue yeah you have to you have to

switch the venue so i would tag her in like something that she would think was funny and then maybe she associates that with you being funny and maybe responds again now i love this for you because you're not funny so you would have to go to associate me with a meme as an attacker well no if you have strong meme game that's absolutely on that's like that's your top skills yeah okay yeah that's a skill yeah so if you could tag her in a meme that's like very relatable and top skills yeah okay yeah that's a skill yeah so if you could tag her in a meme that's like very relatable and funny then i feel like you might have a chance she's like oh he's funny i should text him back yeah if you're like full-blown already ghosted you're not going to shoot the double text you you have to kind of find alternate means of communication kind of like

it's like poking someone on facebook you're really not there's no verbiage you can use to really bring yourself back yeah i don't think there's a message you already lost i don't think there's a message you can send there's no message it's got to be unless you just have like the coolest thing ever to invite them to or something yeah that's the other the other thing is but even then it's kind of like just sad like you're just getting used for whatever you're inviting them oh yeah but you're you're willing to take that you're willing to take it you're like oh maybe i can change your mind if i bring her to this thing you know yeah but i do yeah changing the medium is always i think that's your best bet it's a good route yeah i guess if you change the the section of replies maybe they won't see the fact that they've been ignoring you and how boring the conversation how maybe

hopefully they'll forget and then it's like oh wait he's funny yeah he sent me a meme you kind of have to reply after that i mean we're talking desperation hours here so let's not put anything past anybody here yeah okay so then what is um what's the thing you've ghosted a girl for ghosting me yeah no yes it does work yeah then you feel like you're the one who had you you're in charge it's like oh yeah she didn't break up with me we broke up we mutually agreed she didn't she didn't ghost me i ghosted her even though i sent the last message i wouldn't have replied even if she replied. True. Okay. It's a mental game with yourself. Pettiest thing I've ghosted for? Pettiest thing you've ghosted a girl for?

Just being too into me. I feel like that's a classic. Yeah. Like overly, overly interested. Yeah. You can't be, you can't like, like me. If you like me, I'm out. That's stupid.

Yeah. I kind of went a different angle with this but um piss poor running form when do you get a chance to see something like that it has to be like a high school like a no yeah tell us the story behind this one that's not there's got to be some some sort of okay okay hypothetically you're at the beach and you're playing like volleyball or something and you see her like absolutely just wimping it up yeah oh so not even running it's just athleticism yeah just like bad athleticism yeah can't have that in the gene pool that's okay so morgan's going long term with it yeah he's always looking long clumsy girls get

out how like what's the to your memory what's the longest you've gotten like longest amount of time you've gotten with a girl before you got ghosted so i think all these kind of apply to um times when i've been talking with a girl that i haven't actually met in real life yeah like for me it's definitely met well i mean i've had don't get me wrong i've had those too but i think for the most part it's someone where you're trying to keep you're trying to keep it going without actually having met them and had like some shared experiences yeah those are to go off it's tough to just like small talk

for an extended period of time like that without having like any actual plan making or like recalling or just shit like you have yeah you have to have like a remember wins yeah you know or like like they say something it's like oh like this, remember when's. Yeah. You know, or like, like they say something and it's like, Oh,

like this is you when we were here. Yeah. Kind of thing. And if you don't have that at a certain point, it's like, what's the longest you've talked to a girl without meeting them? I think I've gone like a couple of weeks. Like it's one of those where like you,

you maybe were talking and then you were supposed to hang out on the weekend and then something happened. Then you have to try and stretch it out to another weekend, like a full another week. Yeah. And then it just dies. And you're like, holy fuck. It's tough to keep that. But honestly, if it's me, I just fucking stick those in the ground.

I can't do it. Yeah, I would say probably like six months. Yeah, mine was like seven years. Six months? Yeah, six months. It's like when you try to finally transition between like oh we're just hanging out into like oh we're talking and then it's just been like you try to be like actually nice for the first time or something like that like thrown off yeah and

they're just like uh not responsive at all see that's tough that probably just coincides as soon as you start being yourself they're like i'm out yeah i was gonna. That probably just coincides. As soon as you start being yourself, they're like, I'm out. Yeah, I was going to say that probably just coincides with like actually getting to know you. Yeah, no, I gave it a couple extra months to see if anything would change. But this is just them. All right, ladies and gents, that will do it for the spooky edition of No FOMO. Hope everyone has a delightful Halloween extravaganza. We'll have some fun shit to be reporting back to you about next week.

So we will see you then. Morgan, you got anything to plug? Yeah, if you like the show, make sure to like, comment, and subscribe. And if you want to fucking whip out that credit card, you already know. We got that Patreon with the extended episodes we got uh the

merch store with the mommy daddy merch and the no fomo stuff and uh for every 100 sales we do we're gonna do a challenge the first one is the 6 12 18 24 challenge where are we at on that do we know we're at i think we're at 40 now we're getting way closer so it's scarily close yeah that's actually spookily we might have to retract that whole thing 6 12 18 24 don't forget about it by the time we get to 100 i hope yeah so it's apply one of the following to all the numbers it's um donuts eaten beers drinking beat offs beaten and some miles miles ran yes so apply that to 6 12 18 24 looking forward to that day um if you guys want to submit to the show just hit us hit us up on instagram and uh

we'll see y'all motherfuckers next week gang