NO FOMO - 35. Spring Back, Fall Up
Episode Date: November 9, 2022🔔 Subscribe: https://linktr.ee/nofomopod 🎽 Merch: https://www.bonfire.com/store/no-fomo/ Welcome Back Fomosapiens. This week we're talking Daylight Savings Time, Fire Fest 2.0, and Rotisse...rie Chickens. Let's Evolve Together, NO FOMO. Support the Podcast: Get 20% OFF @manscaped + Free Shipping with promo code NOFOMO at MANSCAPED.com!
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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back, back, back, back to the Monster Chicken FOMO Show.
No FOMO.
After a brief hiatus, we're back, baby.
Yes.
Yes.
35.
This is episode 35, part two.
Take two.
Take two.
Yes.
After a lengthy Halloween weekend.
Oh, no, we did it on Sunday of Halloween weekend.
We did it the day before Halloween.
And we tried.
We tried to record an episode.
We were just so fucked up.
It was just not even...
We couldn't put it out.
It was bad.
When your IQ is hanging by a thread,
you do not want to add more BAC to it.
Yeah, you don't want to minus any more IQ points.
What the fuck happened?
Can you get negative on an IQ test? We did that day. any more IQ points. What the fuck happened? Is there...
Can you get negative on an IQ test?
We did that day.
Like, because if you can...
We would have gotten it.
We should have taken one.
For sure.
Yeah, we fell short.
Yeah, so we tried to do 35
and then it just...
We thought we nailed it, too.
That's the best part.
That is one of the best parts of it.
We walked away from that so jazzed.
We were jonesing.
Didn't we like to hang out here all day
and just drink more and fucking chill out?
And we were so hyped off how good we did.
We were just like, yeah, keep doing things.
And then we listened back to edit it and it was just not even.
Yeah, two and a half hours straight.
Okay, so there was a consistent flow of nothing.
Of nothing, yeah.
Yeah.
I couldn't name one thing that we discussed.
There were a lot of questions asked and none answered.
So we had to really scale it back there. Yep. was two hours of are you smarter than a first grader
literally it was it was actually two hours long it was the it was the longest finale episode of
are you smarter than a fifth grader and the answer at the end was no it was no it was a hard no yeah
we fucked up um i didn't even get a chance to listen to it but i'm kind of glad because i feel
like i would have just been horrified.
You didn't want to.
We were sitting on the couch and Morg put it up on the TV
and I was like, can you please turn it off?
I can't look at this.
Actually, it was hard.
I normally can't watch it just because I can only watch myself talk.
But this was definitely bad.
But this one, I was like, yikes.
Watching yourself make no sense is really hard to do.
Yeah, because you're almost mad.
You're looking at you and you're like,
no, you should have said this.
Yeah, like you know what could have made it okay, but it wasn't okay.
Yeah, it was like the equivalent to like, you know,
when you're hanging out with drunk people and you're sober and you're like,
this is very uncomfortable.
It was like uncomfortable the whole time.
And I was like, maybe it's just me when I was editing it.
So I was like, John, I need you to come look at this.
And it was terrible.
Yeah, we got four minutes in.
I was like, yeah, you're right.
Well, yeah, well, we decided, I're right me and John stayed up that whole night and then you were we like decided
we were supposed to record at what noon
and we decided to just call you at 8.30 in the morning
ten times and wake you up and go do it
we're like fuck it we gotta do it now
we showed up ready to play but it just
didn't happen we didn't know what game we were playing
so we'll take this back but now
here we are in non-stop nut November non-stop net yes yes i'm on a what is it today the eighth i'm on an eight
day streak i'm on a nine day streak somehow okay let's be honest i'm like a on like a four year
streak but did anyone actually make it any any kind of distance in it or no i didn't even attempt
to i never honestly i forgot i've never even tried to attempt that.
I think,
I think every time it does change to it,
it's like,
I see the date after I've already failed it.
Yeah.
Yeah. I don't think I even realized it was November until like the third.
Cause last week was just fucked.
Yeah.
That was just,
I was dead till Thursday.
Yeah.
The Reddit thread on no net November is something to be looked at for sure.
I've never peeped that.
Yeah.
It's like just memes. There's like hunters in there and just shamers it's it's a whole thing hunters and
hunters and there's like people are assigned roles in the yeah there's a couple of guys that are like
going hard they'll post every day really yeah and then the memes are just outrageous what do they
post just a full ball sack is proven just an updated ball sack size just a med yeah weight check on the balls
weight check i'm up three ounces since yesterday these things are blowing up so
what do you think medically what do you think is the longest you could really put i was just
gonna say like there's got to be a point where it it just can't you can't handle anymore anymore
feeling you'd think that.
Does it naturally dissipate?
In my experience, what will happen is you'll have a wet dream before.
Really?
I've never had a wet dream.
You've never had a wet dream?
Never had a wet dream.
I've had some fire dreams, but never wet.
You've never woken up in a bowl of clam chowder?
Oh my God.
Also, I'd just like to early apologize for my voice.s were back and cigarettes are back in back no they were back that weekend if you do them a second weekend
in a row they're not back they're so not back oh they're not they were back as fuck on halloween
weekend oh my god jay goes uh uh can you get us cigarettes and i was i was at the halloween store
and i got us fake cigars and i called him and Was like I got fake cigars. Do you still want cigarettes and he's like
Yeah, we're gonna need
They do come back it's like a sick circular. It's a circular cyclical. Yeah a cyclical thing. Yeah, but they're again not back
Yeah, it was on the other equinox right now. I was I'm not gonna lie. I was fiending for one Saturday night
This past Saturday. Yeah, not like hardcore, but I was like I wish Jay was here lie. I was fiending for one Saturday night. This past Saturday?
Yeah.
Not like hardcore, but I was like, I wish Jay was here so we can just experience a dart
together, you know?
Yeah.
I had a breakfast dart this weekend and it was a breakfast dart.
A little cup of Joe and a cig.
A coffee and a fucking breakfast dart.
We were chain smoking them the day we did the podcast.
Yep.
Yep.
I kept that rolling.
Out on the patio?
I went on a little golf trip this weekend.
I'd say I won a hole.
Won every hole.
Won a hole.
And we hacked by then.
And we played 54 holes.
What is it, 20 in a pack?
There's 18 in a pack, I think.
Yeah.
Oh, really?
We played 54 holes.
In a row?
We played 36 in one day, and then the next day we played 18.
Oh, wow.
What else we got here?
Breaking down the anatomy.
What else?
From the weekend or just in general
i was good i was a good boy for the most part yeah sober's in for no sober's in somewhat sober
a little bit on saturday sss what's the quote somewhat sober september no we're in november now
okay yeah sure no no nothing okay yeah this is the first time i've felt 100 this year so i'm
gonna keep on doing this
yeah and you're drinking right now yeah yeah well i feel really good as long as you keep it
under a certain level well you felt 95 now you feel 100 now that you're drinking a little bit
yes yes i'm back at 100 now so you weren't recovering from a 50 to get up to 100 you only
it's a little bit of a wiggle room yeah see what i found out over the weekend was if you try to
just cut it out entirely the shit gets a little gray.
Like, it's kind of bland.
Yeah.
It's gray outside.
You're just like, oh.
And it's a beautiful sunny day out, too.
Yeah.
And I'm not drinking at all.
And it's just like, ah, I'm not going to stay inside.
Like, what's the point?
You know, that kind of thing.
So it's just a couple.
I think a curfew would be our best thing we could do.
A curfew?
I mean, we already tried this.
It was the, you accumulate 12 hours or was it?
Oh yeah, we never even remotely got close to implementing that though.
I don't think we even tried to implement that.
We had good intentions.
So the rule of thumb was where you get 12 hours of.
Every week you accumulate 12 hours of going out or drinking time.
I think you get six would be a better one.
I mean, yeah, it should be less than that.
Because that either holds you to
one six-hour night,
so say from 8 p.m. to 2 a.m.
Or
you get two little
three-hour nights, maybe a little night at midnight.
Yeah, you go watch a game at the bar.
You get a wine Wednesday and a baseball game.
There you go. I think six
hours a week of accumulated
drinking time.
Here's where the issue really lies.
We just don't have any way
of enforcing any of that because the minute
I step outside the house,
I'm a different human being.
The minute I have a beer in me and I'm not
in my home. Money's not real. Money doesn't exist.
Neither do rules.
Neither is BAC. Neither is my well-being or anyone else's for that matter i don't care about you or anything yeah let's invest
in some chloroform we should hire like security and then as soon as you go at a time i just
chloroform your ass we at 2 a.m you get chloroform like at 2 a.m at 2 a.m i track you and if i see
you in pb i uber down there and fucking your ass throw you in the back of the uber and throw you behind a dumpster and you wake up no we'll take your ass home track you, and if I see you in PB, I Uber down there and fucking nuke your ass. Chloroform, you throw you in the back of the Uber?
I throw you behind a dumpster, and you wake up.
No, we'll take your ass home, but you think you got drugged.
You get to feel that the next day.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'll make sure you thought you got drugged.
And a couple just, like, kidney shots, too.
So you wake up to a store.
The whole drive home, you're getting fucking jabbed in the ribs.
We take the floating rib out at the bottom.
You don't need it anyway.
Everybody has, what is it, 12 on one side? How does that work? Sure. Everybody has that, like, half-floating out at the bottom. You don't need it anyway. Everybody has, what is it, 12 on one side?
Or how does that work?
Sure.
Yeah, everybody has that like half floating one at the bottom.
You get three in that motherfucker.
One yank on that.
Maybe, yeah.
I'd pick you up by that. You can squeeze a hand under.
I'd make you out of the bar by the rib.
Yeah, you get that floating rib, float that fucker out.
You wake up bruised.
Fucking water wings on that bitch.
Yeah, but anything's
better than being yeah you kind of you might be in an amphibian by the time we stop but oh yeah
i'm gonna yeah no i'll be out of bones yeah yeah what do they call those if you don't have any
like bones or not amphibian it's uh it's a fucking water boy no no no no like a shark
yeah speaking of sharks do you know how sharks so i saw this randomly
because okay wait did you guys see there was a fucking shark attack where last week
in del mar no really swear to god whoa what happened what happened you got bit by that
thing dude they got fucking bit by a chick got bit by a shark no which is in the water
okay do they know what kind no i'm not fucking dude it's a one a bit it's like one in a fucking billion shot are you lucky i only have this piece of cardboard yeah but anyways stay on
that land my boys and girls um well yeah i don't go in the ocean ever no i've i've stand by this
i'm land born the ocean the ocean is fucked the ocean's absolutely was it like a great white do
we know a great work yeah she got great right once a great a great white? Do we know? A great white. Yeah. She got attacked once. A great white. She survived?
Yeah, she survived.
And then I watched the interview of her in like the hospital.
And I guess.
Don't tell me she was one of those bitches who was like, I don't even blame the shark.
It's their territory.
I'm in there.
It was my bad.
That's on me. I'm in their spot.
You know, that's there.
We know someone who would for sure say that.
It's just doing what it's supposed to do.
I can't get mad at it.
Yeah.
But she was like, I guess she was like ready to. Yeah, but she was like, I guess it's,
she was like ready to go back out.
She's like, I guess it still hasn't hit me yet.
But I mean, I just checked the surf report.
It's, we got eight feet swells.
I'm going to be right back out there.
So at that point, I hope he takes you out next time.
Yeah.
You know, I was looking at like how people prepare against that.
Cause it's pretty frequent that you'll see one out there,
which is why again, like in Australia and stuff and stuff oh yeah in certain places for sure so people carry
like these little metal rods with them really you can just jab it yeah so you can fucking jab it
just jab it yeah but then i was like you just get you get i guess if it if it bites you like if it
bites you and then comes back for more that's where you can come in but i feel like most of
the time they just don't see it and just fuck oh no yeah yeah the thing it's I think you get to pretend like there you can have a lot of prep for
it but if it if it bites you it's whether or not it wants to kill you I think at that yeah yeah if
it's just gonna take a nibble if it's really if it's really hungry it's you're dead if it's about
that life yeah I mean if you're if you're a tasty human yeah if you if it gets you in a good spot
like if it gets a chunk right here in this good meat yeah like if it gets like my skinny ass leg and it just gets like some bone it's probably like what is this yeah if it gets you in a good spot, like if it gets a chunk right here in this good meat. Yeah, you're fucked. Like if it gets like my skinny ass leg and it just gets like some bone, it's probably like, what is this?
Yeah, if it bites you on the kneecap or something, you're out.
But if it gets those thick cheeks, I'm done for.
Yeah, if it gets those cheeks for sure.
Could you imagine how miserably it would be paddling in like with your fucking like leg ripped open?
Like all the salt water in there?
It's completely toasted.
Yeah.
I bet you don't even feel it.
Your body just goes into such trauma.
Yeah.
I bet you wouldn't even feel it at all. I you feel it i don't know you're definitely in some pain
before like when i got ran over and you it hurts yeah i feel like with stuff like that i don't know
because at least you know the car's gone when i like split my knee yeah that's so fair you're
just laying in the middle of the road like where is it yeah i don't feel like there's a high
probability that they're gonna reverse and run you over again yeah but there
is a high chance the sharks coming back yeah yeah so stay safe out there stay out of the water okay
now that it's no longer summer i feel like you know there's no pressure to get in the ocean
just the surf is really good oh yeah dude fuck off that winter those winter swells have you ever
been on a surfboard in your life yeah he surfs surfs, dude. Oh, yeah? I stopped. Isaac will take him out there and push him, get him up.
Yeah, I can see that.
Oh, here's the thing.
If I'm going to go out there and test my manhood and try to surf,
don't fucking offer to push me.
Did he actually?
Yeah, Isaac was like, no, I got you.
And I was like, no, the fuck you don't.
I'd rather drown.
I'm not a toddler on a swing at the fucking park, okay? Don't fucking push me. I'd rather fail miserably than have another man. You're more of a toddler on a swing at the fucking park, okay?
Don't fucking push me.
I'd rather fail miserably than have another man.
You're more of a toddler on a swing in life.
Yeah, but I don't need to push, okay?
These legs are fucking kicking.
What do you got here, Jay?
Let's see.
What did I see in the world today?
I got to check my tablet here.
Yeah, John, you got a new tablet.
Yeah.
Amazon board.
If you wanted to question how well I'm doing a fucking Apple
This was good. Did you guys see the fire fest guys back? No back? Yeah, he's out of jail
He's already got a new thing. He's putting together. Of course. Is it an app?
It's cut so he like put out a video of it and he like really leaned into the fire fest thing
He was like it's gonna fucking suck Like be prepared for it to be ass.
Like blah, blah, blah.
What is it?
Do we know?
It's just some concert at like, you know, the same sort of thing.
Oh, it's going to have everything.
It's going to be on.
Oh, he's doing another concert.
But people are like, they want to go this time.
Oh yeah.
Because they're like, if it does suck, I want to be a part of it.
Oh, he's doubling down on the fucking shit factor.
Yeah, he's doubling down on it being ass.
Yeah.
That's low key genius.
But that made me think.
Of course it did.
If you could pick one thing to make sure that an afters is never a Fyre Fest,
what would it be?
Here are your choices.
There are actually girls there.
The plug is always up.
Never run out of booze.
Or it's always daylight savings time, so you get an extra hour of either partying or sleep.
Up to you.
I didn't even think about the fact that you could get an extra hour of sleep.
Well, it was just daylight savings.
I don't know if you guys enjoy it.
No, I utilize it to party.
Yeah.
The bar stayed open a full another hour.
It was incredible.
I think, which I'm definitely sure was illegal, by the way.
No, because it starts at 2. in a full another hour. It was incredible. I think, which I'm definitely sure was illegal, by the way. Oh, I,
no, because it starts at two.
Yeah, so,
yeah, but I'm pretty sure like the actual law
is like they're still
supposed to close
at that time.
Fuck them.
It's supposed to be like
the amount of hours
they're allowed to be open.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But they did not close.
Yeah, fuck them.
I'll tell you what,
when you don't know
it's daylight savings
and you wake up,
like I was on the golf trip
and I needed some sleep and I woke up when I was like, oh shit, we're
going to definitely have to leave right now.
And I just woke up and I was like, I'm like looking around all distraught.
Like, Oh, I'm like, all right, where is there?
Wasn't everyone up?
And I look at my phone.
I'm like, Oh, it's seven, six in the morning.
There's no fucking way.
I've got way too much sleep.
There's no fucking way.
That's all that.
I think they should not tell us when they do it personally.
Yeah.
And you just wake up one day and you're like i mean this one really i didn't really
know until like that night i thought they were done with it i think that's the last one ever
this is the last one hopefully that mean we passed the bill like last year no it has to go back
though right well yeah we're gonna go back we're gonna go back to the good one and then and then
we're gonna spring back spring spring around yeah we're gonna and then jump down
forward you we're gonna spring back to how we want it and then yes and then okay down to where
it should be yeah and then we cycle back circle around and then and then you yeah you definitely
circle back yeah i mean for starters i think it should be the reverse no fuck no this is the worst
time of the year you would like daylight savings no i know i think it no i'm not saying that i like it i'm saying in the winter when the sun is naturally going down
more it should fucking fall yeah it's the stupidest thing ever when the days are already
getting like it was already getting dark at like 6 30 instead of 8 that's what i'm saying and then
they go okay how about 4 30 instead yeah you know i don't need the sun at 5 okay i'm not trying to
fucking wake up happy as shit i woke up at 5 30 this morning i was like oh dude no the sun's out bro the sun's up now i have to
catch some waves blackout yeah fucking stupid but anyways we should spring back and fall never and
fuck off also yes okay but this is the last one we got coming up hopefully that's that's the word
on the block okay because i'm
done with this shit my sources i hate it which are just hearing it from people yes i hate the
fall in general i hate i hate this time of the year so much i like it this time it's dark early
i think i got a little i have to think about like bringing a sweater when i leave the house like no
i want to wear a t-shirt and shorts motherfucker dude i think i don't you have to think about
bringing a sweater hey i think i low-key got a little bit of fall depression for the first time.
Oh, gang up.
Yeah, dude.
Welcome.
Saw a little bit of gray.
Dude, the sun's very essential to my happiness, man.
It really is.
When the sun's not out, like, I just...
The first day where it was, like, completely just bullshit foggy, like, right after Halloween.
It was, like...
I think it was, like, the day after Halloween.
I was already, like, hungover and fucking depressed.
And then that happened.
It's like...
I'm not doing fucking anything.
At least if the sun is out, I could wake up and be like, okay, stuff is going well out there.
Outside, even if it's going bad.
Someone's doing good.
Even if it's complete turmoil in my house.
Somebody else is doing good.
But if it's cloud.
Someone's having a nice day at the beach or something, I bet.
Hungover, cold, and then you go outside, it's cloudy.
Then you're like, no one wants to hang out anyway.
It's nice to just drive, even if you're going to the nowhere just to get some food and there's just people out on the streets
and it's nice out yeah nothing i feel happy for them you know and it rained yeah what the fuck
dude fuck this time unbelievable but to get back to the question you guys want to hear them again
no no i think i got this okay i'm gonna act we kind of fell off that no that's fine as long as
you get back to it yeah Yeah, we got to rearrange.
If you wouldn't have brought that up, I would have never remembered that question.
Because I'm back at 100%.
Okay, I'm axing the daylight table.
You say it again.
Say it again.
Just for the people.
There's actually girls there.
Read the question too.
Oh, yeah.
If you could choose one of these things to make sure an afters is never a fire fest,
which would it be?
There's actually girls there.
The plug is always up.
Never run out of booze.
Or it's always daylight savings time, so you get an extra hour of sleep.
Or partying.
Your choice.
I might have to just go right to the point and say never run out of booze.
I think I ax D.
Get rid of the savings time?
Get rid of the savings time.
That's for sure out for me. That's just a fun one, you know? Yeah. Girls, I mean, they have cooties. I don't care. I. Get rid of the savings time? Get rid of the savings time. That's for sure out for me.
That's just a fun one, you know?
Yeah.
Girls, I mean, they have cooties.
I don't care.
I'd rather be with the boys.
Yeah.
Smart.
That was a trick one.
Here's the thing.
That was a trick one trying to bait you in early.
Yeah.
Like, ooh, girls.
See, because drugs is like a double-edged sword.
If you have drugs and no booze, then it gets weird.
You're fucked.
It gets really weird really quick.
Yeah.
But if you have booze, you can kind of just, even if you're super hopped up on drugs you can kind of just drink
yourself into oblivion and pass out but if you're like only have drugs you're just sitting there
like a fucking tweaker and then you're like anxious as fuck and like things get really weird
yeah i think you need booze yeah i think you go booze just because you could forget about especially
because the plug is always up there's still a chance he might be, even if we have booze.
Yeah, there's always a shot.
But there's no way to get booze if you don't have booze.
Well, even if he's not up, you can still have the hope.
Yes.
You can still sit with your phone, like, scratching your neck.
Yeah, just opening it every five seconds.
Sit with your phone unlocked, waiting for those three bells to pop up for fucking hours on end.
Yeah, let's go booze there.
Booze.
You can solve most problems that way.
I do think the quickest way for it to instantly be bad is if you show up and they're like did you bring booze
yeah like no yeah like when you show like you walk in the door and they're like did you bring
any booze oh you know it's fuck yeah that's when you know shit's going south true if you get a
phone call on the way there asking if you can bring booze you might as well just go home or
or bring girls yeah if they tell you to bring anything the, you might as well just go home. Or bring girls.
If they tell you to bring anything, the afters,
if it's not set up already, I'm out. It has to be premeditated afters.
There's nothing like showing up and there's three people
in a kitchen and one kid DJing
his ass off. Usually me.
Should we as a group try
and go to the Fyre Fest thing?
We actually should. Document the whole thing.
That'd be lit. What are the tickets like? When is it? I don it i don't know i didn't look at i just saw the video of him
being a total douche that guy's the biggest fucking tool oh he did like an instagram live
he did like a video like fire 2.0 that guy's already out of prison what'd he get like two
years and he probably got fined like millions of dollars well because i think he was able to
kind of branch out the fault to enough people well i think i think it was also one of those things like what can you really get him for yeah I think
they really they talked up a lot he tried he didn't try to do it well he had
a hardcore confidence I mean I would have believed in well cuz it was it's
one of those things were like yeah he did lie but he also was still trying it's
like it wasn't like there wasn't anything there yeah yes well he was
quoting Steve Jobs and shit it's like everyone doesn't believe in you until
you make it happen.
Yeah.
I mean, he just over-promised
and heavily under-delivered.
Yeah.
Yeah, so how much
can you really give?
It's like, hey,
can't knock the guy for trying.
Yeah, if you got in trouble
for that every time I got laid,
I'd be in fucking years in jail.
Yeah, I think that most
of the things was just like,
he was promising people
a lot of shit that
there was just no way
he could have pulled off.
Yeah.
Lying to like investors about shit and stuff.
Yeah, that's what it really was.
It wasn't the people that went.
It was the.
Yeah, I don't even think he got criminal charges.
I think he just got sued by all the people that he fucking lied to.
And then they're like, oh, you don't have any money.
Go to jail.
Yeah.
If you're broke, we're going to have to give you some.
Yeah, I guarantee if you had enough money, he wouldn't have even had to go.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just get fined a couple million.
You're chilling.
It was all just fucking hearsay.
It was just promises everywhere.
Yep.
It was hard. Did you watch like both of those documentaries yeah he's fucking convincing dude
dude he's the guy's a fucking salesman steve jobs of partying dude the steve jobs of partying yeah
but whenever this uh this new iteration comes up we should for sure go do we know when it is
no information on it whatsoever no information yet okay we'll get some deeds we should honestly
go and like document the whole thing like go, like GoPro headcams and shit.
We might be able to turn it into something.
Yeah.
As long as there's a location.
I just hope it...
I kind of hope it is just his ass again.
It would be...
Well, that would be the best.
Yeah, that would be the...
It'd be pretty funny if they just turned it
into almost like a survivor thing.
Like, yeah, you're going to come.
The resources are going to be minimal.
Figure it the fuck out.
I bet you this wasn't even like his thing either.
I bet you so many people, as soon as he got out of jail, were like, hey. Oh, hit him up? Like, hey, we'll invest. Let's do this out. I bet you, I bet you this wasn't even like his thing either. I bet you so many people,
as soon as he got out of jail,
we're like,
I'll hit him up.
Like,
we'll invest.
Yeah.
Like,
let's do it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He got offers out the year.
Cause literally every,
I was reading like comments and every reaction was like,
yeah,
I'm there.
Yeah.
You know how,
like not a single person was like this fuck,
this fucking Joker again.
Yeah.
Cause say what you want.
I mean,
it still took the internet by storm.
Yeah.
You gotta be a part of it.
Everyone's like,
there's no way he's going to fuck it up twice.
But if he did, I want to be there.
I want to be there.
And it was in international waters too.
So it's like kind of hard.
Like who runs the Atlantic ocean really?
Yeah.
Right.
It was just on a random fucking deserted island.
I think it was in Jamaica.
Wasn't it?
Who's running Jamaica?
I don't know.
I don't know what sort of jurisdiction it was in.
Jamaicans might run some deserted island, right?
Yeah.
It was like sold as like one of Pablo Escobar's a deserted island, right? Yeah, it was like sold as like
one of Pablo Escobar's.
No, that was,
see, that was the first thing
and then they had to move it
to an actual
just island.
Oh, that's right
because they tried to do it
at that place
and it was like
not even possible.
It was like Yacht Week
or something there.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, we're there.
We're going for sure.
Yes.
Yeah, I saw that.
No doubt.
All right, ladies and gentlemen,
we're going to take
a quick break from the show
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If you're going to a festival or something, long day out.
Long day out. Or honestly or honestly any day yeah if you're gonna be up for a set amount
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pumpkins by going to manscaped.com and use code NOFOMO for free shipping and 20% off. Now back to
the show. Do we want to get into your uh purity test oh yeah you guys all did it right
yep okay so there's a thing called the rice purity test which essentially i did some research on was
created as propaganda to make like young girls in like christian things like it's a battle to see
who can have the highest score oh really so like it's out of a hundred basically what you do is
you go through this list of things that like it's like starts a hundred. Basically what you do is you go through this list of things that like, it's like starts out with like holding hands,
kissing,
blah,
blah.
It works all the way down all the way down to BC.
Yeah.
BC.
Allie and incest.
Wait,
was that one really on there?
Yeah.
Last question.
I'm pretty BC.
Allie and incest for the last two.
Oh,
I did see incest.
So you get a score in the basically,
basically the point of it was like,
Oh,
I'm a 99.
Like,
and you're in the key girls for doing
anything so the higher the score is the higher is what technically better yeah
so we all took it I got I got I got less okay here's my take on it after doing it
I'm curious what ones that you guys had that I didn't we can pull it up okay
let's take a look let's have a peek but my my take is is that the
reverse of this isn't actually a battle for the highest score if anyone has anything below i think
like six run well i think also if you have above like a 15 you're a fucking loser well yeah because
a lot of them on there i mean we're making it sound like we're like heathens or something a lot
half of them at least 60 of them are like below first base things.
Oh, yeah.
Well, it starts out at third grade.
It's like, have you seen a person of the opposite sex naked?
Have you seen a boo?
You dress in a room with a person with the opposite sex and then it progresses into threesomes and orgies and stuff like that.
Yeah.
Oh, I know which one that you guys have that I didn't.
No, not that one.
Not that one.
I know a couple now.
That's ringing some bells here.
Yeah, scroll down to the bottom.
They didn't mention a mystery box
anywhere else, did they?
No, I think the key component
for the orgy one was
how would you guys even define that?
I mean, I think an orgy would be
the sole purpose.
I think it's got to be like
passing around a little bit.
No, and the sole purpose of it
is everyone's just...
I think you like walk in
knowing it's going to be
an orgy.
It has to be premeditated.
Not like,
oh, I'm in a room
with another couple
and we're having sex
at the same time.
Yeah, an orgy has to be,
I feel like, premeditated.
At least 10, right?
I think it's got to be
at least three groups of people.
Yeah.
Like maybe six people minimum.
And there's got to be
at least two swaps per person.
Yeah, and you show up
with your little bag
of lube and condoms
and whatnot.
I think you've got, yeah. And you have the little mask on an orgy is like it's like
saying have you been to a party like it's a thing yeah go to an orgy but also it's a pretty vague
definition as to what an orgy actually is it pretty much just means doing anything in excess
no i mean we know what an orgy look it up i did look it up no but i mean we know what an orgy yeah
we know yeah but in the sexual without being able to define it you know it is. But I just wanted to see what you guys thought it was.
It's like a multiple couples showing up, right?
I think premeditated is the point of it, though.
Yeah.
Okay.
So that was a no for me.
I think the only way to truly call it a proper orgy is at least two partner swaps and one
with the same sex.
You got to get in there.
You know what I mean?
That's an interesting way to write.
Hey, I'm not saying
i've been to an orgy write that on your piece of cardboard jay yep hold on or you at least have to
kiss a dude or something definition right yeah otherwise it's just i guess it can be one without
it i'm just having some fun over here you have to really get down long story short i've never
been to an orgy that's bold italicized double underline size 45 yeah we
added that to j's but yeah pull up pull it up real quick and then okay i want to go you just
go to the bottom okay i'm gonna go back so this is from rice university is that what this is so i
think this guy is one of the people who like founded some sort of church or something if okay
let's see the purity test has historically served as a seg from O-Week to true college life at Rice.
It's a voluntary opportunity for O-Week groups to bond and for students to track the maturation of their experiences throughout college.
So maybe you take it every year and you see kind of how your...
Oh, I like that more.
How your score progresses.
I'll write...
I think I've been at like a 10 since freshman year of college.
I'm going to put a note down for us to do this again. And if don't have the exact same score something's wrong something's wrong so i've got
i've got some ketchup scroll to the bottom let me let me say the ones that i think are unacceptable
okay let's we had the period sex anal sexes are all fine incest and bc out incest and bc out you
have to have at least two so if you have a one or Okay, so if your score's below two,
you have a fucking problem.
And then I think there was another one.
There's like felony arrest.
Yeah, felony convicted of a crime.
So that's five.
No, no.
Convicted of a crime, I feel like it's most people.
Convicted of a crime?
No, you've never been convicted.
That's very different.
I've been convicted of a crime, yes.
No, you haven't.
Yes, I have.
Shoplifting?
Possession of a fake ID.
Minor possessions of crime.
Did they take you to a separate facility
and put you in the fucking correctionals?
Wait, convicted of a crime?
I guess I got a knock to an infraction,
so technically I don't have a...
No, so then no.
Fuck you.
Okay, I don't have a...
Add one.
Trying to act all core over here.
Dude, I don't want to be core, dude.
Now we're going to have to fact check you
on every fucking one.
Start at the top.
Yeah, you've never held hands.
Have you held hands
with a member of the opposite sex oh fuck but yeah i uh yeah
whatever some of the fucked up ones if imagine if you were at college and you did this as like
a bonding thing and someone said four that'd be fucking gnarly whoa at that point you just i need
to know which four you yeah and they're like they're like, I've never held hands.
Holy, their first four are all the top.
Yeah.
At first when it says, so it goes in this order,
have you ever had period sex, anal sex?
And then it says, I just saw pregnancy, and I thought it said pregnancy sex.
Like, have you had sex with a pregnant woman?
It said pregnancy scare.
There was a fun one on there.
I saw it was, have you ever had or given blue balls?
Yes.
That's an interesting one.
I've given blue balls.
Whoa, dude.
That's the only reason I had to check that one out.
Whoa, dude.
But wait, you guys have all had blue balls or no?
Yeah, of course.
Yeah, shit sucks.
I feel like that's like half of all your high school experience is having blue balls.
Just walk around sore all the time.
No, I didn't get it until I was like later on.
Wait until the end of this month
and then report back.
No, I'm already failed this month.
I feel like the highest probability
of getting blue balls
is like when you're hooking up
with a girl in like high school.
No, highest probability.
You don't really get it.
Yeah, like the movie theater.
Yeah.
You're just getting your shit
rubbed on.
You're getting a little
under the popcorns.
Credits are rolling
and you gotta stand up.
Over the pants blue balls.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But I was going to say based off that purity test um how many years in jail do you think you
cumulatively cumulatively owe oh like if i was caught for things that i've done because i'm
willing to say i don't know anyone that's under at least 10 years including my parents oh like
cumul like so it could be a bunch of minor things that would add up yeah like say you're caught all
at once um i don't know what's up
like if like if i went to do a confession and then like they're like gotcha bitch i mean yeah
if you cumulatively got caught for just all the drugs you've ever had on you you're going to
prison for life yeah right right yeah easily yeah well you're getting at least a year per
time yeah if you if you had all the possession charges you should have, then yeah. And even if you've gone like 100 miles an hour four times or three times, that's speeding
ticket, dude.
No, it's not.
If you go 100, it's endangerment.
It's a felony.
I think it's over 50 miles an hour over the speed limit.
25.
When I went to fucking court that one time.
So if you're going 90, you can get a felony?
You could technically get a felony.
Yeah.
There's no way.
It's reckless endangerment.
All right, whatever.
Well, I mean,
that wasn't the thing
that I was worried about.
But I'm saying...
Yeah, tack on a couple more,
whatever.
Yeah, but I'm saying
as a whole, I don't know.
Two life sentences.
Without saying the offense,
what would be the one thing
that you'd get the most time for
that you haven't gotten
in trouble for?
You don't have to say
what it is,
but just a ballpark,
like what do you think
is the gnarliest thing that you would have gotten? Like the most amount of time for one of haven't gotten in trouble for without to say what it is but just a ballpark like what do you think's like the gnarliest thing that you would like the most
amount of time you would have got for a singular thing i mean drugs are always like five years
right yeah if you get really fucked not if you only have like one thing on you but i've had an
amount where i should have probably had like five years i'd say five seems right yeah i don't know
the sentences back when weed was super illegal like weed in high school, big fucked.
You could have got in just as much trouble for having weed as you would for anything.
Yeah.
All right.
Some more hot news of the week.
Get closer.
My new king.
I think he's an American hero and a national treasure.
The guy who ate 40 consecutive days of eating a full rotisserie chicken.
40 consecutive days of a rotisserie.
He ate a full rotisserie chicken 40 days in a row.
And then on the last day, he was like putting fucking signs
like all over Philadelphia.
He put flyers up.
And like tweeted and he got like 30,000 like retweets and shit.
And like hundreds, if not like a full thousand people
showed up to watch him eat the last one.
Was he huge?
No, he's just a normal sized guy.
It's the best.
The video that I saw that TikTok,
they're playing the Rocky theme song profiling it because he's from Philly. Yeah. And it's just a normal sized guy. It's the best. The video that I saw that TikTok, they're playing the Rocky theme song,
because he's from Philly.
Yeah.
And it's just him.
He literally has this dock blocked off,
taped off, red carpet out to his table.
There's a separation of 100 feet between him and the crowd,
and there's just a red carpet.
There's people out there with signs and shit,
just cheering him on.
It's so good. And it just cuts to him.
They're showing videos of him
and he's just his little face he's like 90 of the way done with the chicken he's just like dude he
looks like he's in shambles he's like so down dude because there's some not so great parts to a
fucking rotisserie chicken did you did you hear the reason that he's they're like people are
interviewing like why did you decide to do it he's like it just seemed like the right thing to do
the right thing to do that guy's a fucking fucking legend. Was there like a political stance behind it?
You just eat.
That's why it's so good.
It's just the most random thing ever.
Sometimes you just got to do shit just to do shit.
What did you say?
You're like, this is the first time I feel like
I've been proud to be an American in a long time.
In years.
We need more shit like that.
It's like the fucking McDonald's thing.
It's wholesome shit.
It was so good to see.
There was literally at least 500 people there watching him.
Oh, it was incredible.
Just screaming, and he's just throwing the plate in the air.
It was the day after Philly lost the World Series and the fucking MLS Cup or whatever.
So Philly was a little down bad, and they just needed something.
They needed something.
The Flyers were so fired.
So good.
Just a picture of him with a rotisserie chicken.
Tomorrow's the last day.
Show up at the dock.
Going to eat my 40th consecutive rotisserie chicken.
You know what would have been the smart thing to do is to keep it going after that just keep rolling fuck it 40
imagine how many imagine how many people would show up for his hundredth yeah like i'd fly out
for that i could just keep it going i would fly i would actually fly to philly for that if you
fucking throw down a hundred days on a rotisserie boy i feel like i need to do that just to put on
some fucking game that's the only way you can i don't think i could eat a whole rotisserie dude
what's a rotisserie chicken at cost? It's still like only $5.
$6.99.
Huh?
$6.99.
That's all it is?
Something like that.
Dude, you could survive.
I feel like you could survive
just off of one a day.
Easily.
A whole rotisserie chicken
is like $30 million.
And you only have to spend
$7 a day?
Yeah.
Dude, that might be
my new vibe.
Costco's the longest standing
like,
standing,
you gotta fucking
capital those A's.
But it's the like the longest standing
place to like feed yourself yeah if you go homeless like you should probably save up enough
for a costco membership because you get that dollar 50 hot dog yeah you don't even need a
membership to go to the food court you don't nope boom and two slices of pizza is like four million
calories something crazy i might have to rip Costco after this.
I actually haven't been there in so long.
Yeah, it's a vibe.
Dude.
They got rid of the combo slice, though.
They got rid of the combo slice?
What is it, just cheese and pepperoni now?
Just cheese and pep now.
I don't like the combo slice anyway, to be honest.
I do.
Not a big veggies on pizza guy.
Well, here's the thing.
Big pineapple on pizza guy, though.
Stupid.
No matter what you get on it, it doesn't taste like much.
Their pizza's good.
What?
I mean, it's fine. Wait, it's fine wait what pizza you guys aren't
a fan of the costco slice i'm not gonna no i'm not gonna down it i'm not i mean yeah it's not
from a restaurant it doesn't taste like much it's as good as like domino's yeah well domino don't
taste like much it's not as good as little caesar's yeah it's not little caesar's rips dude
no little caesar's stock has been down for months.
No, it's up, dude.
They're the official pizza of the NFL.
Yeah.
Fuck off.
Oh, never mind.
Little Caesars is up huge.
They're up huge.
This is their year.
The herbs and spices are going up.
Dude, the fucking deep dish lunch combo,
I still haven't yet to get it.
They went into hibernation during COVID
and came out stronger.
They came out huge.
They took it down to the base
and built that fucker right back up.
You see that new fucking thing they have?
The Call of Duty combo?
The Call of Duty combo?
It's a pizza,
but half of it is cheesy
breadsticks and the other half is a pizza and it comes with a large mountain dew for seven dollars
a two liter for a two liter boy yeah seven bucks for a half pie half garlic cheesy bread nacho
fries are back as shit are they yeah yeah they've been back they've been back they've been back for
like they say you know yeah it i think it was the 17th i haven't been to the bell in a minute
yeah ever since the gluten catastrophe i almost got this morning what was that but the one i went
to was closed oh i want to try that new breakfast uh crunch wrap that looks dank looks pretty has
anyone had the mexican pizza yet i mean i had is that not gone that looks like diarrhea they
brought it back they brought that back too yeah i i had it when it was just a staple and it's yeah
it's me i mean i'm pretty much exclusively just a staple, and it's meh.
I mean, I'm pretty much exclusively just a cheesy gordita crunch guy there.
I'll get like two of those, a quesadilla and a Baja Blast,
and I'm pretty much suited, you know?
You're pretty much suited?
Yeah.
Taco Bell for 40 days would probably be the next.
Now that would be you.
You might die from that.
I could do that easy.
I think you could die from that.
If you only ate that.
If you only ate Taco Bell for 40 days? That's a typical January, dude. Would you not die from that? Can you only ate that. If you only ate Taco Bell for 40 days.
That's a typical January, dude.
Would you not die from that?
Can we start a GoFundMe for that?
You don't need a GoFundMe for that.
Do you think you could actually die from that?
From just Taco Bell for 40 days?
If that's all you ate for a month.
Okay, so if you have to do something different off the menu every time, you might be able to die from that.
If the guy could do the McDonald's for 30 days, you could do do to talk about well because here's the thing if you have to do something
they only do that for 30 or is that like nine supersize me it was 30 30 and you have to supersize
everything but um so no if you had to do something different off the if you had to clear the menu
before going back because you might have to do like 40 orders of nachos in one day
technically why would you,
what do you mean?
Clear the menu?
Like if you had to clear the menu,
like you have one of everything.
Cause like how many fucking,
what's like the worst thing on the menu?
It's all the same.
It's,
they've got six ingredients there.
Yeah,
it is.
It's fucking mixed a different way.
No,
actually they only have six ingredients.
Yeah.
Okay.
I would be,
I,
we should see how much eczema I get if I do,
if I do 30 days of fucking talk about,
I'll break out the ruler on that.
I would be fully covered in 80.
Cause you know what you do?
Uh,
you do the same thing for burns.
You use your palm size is 1% of your body.
Really?
Yeah.
Wait,
what?
Yeah.
So that's how you do it.
Like if when I was paramedic,
if someone got burned and you had to tell them how much they were burned,
you have like full.
So your leg is like 9% or whatever, blah, blah, blah.
But if it's a small area, your palm, just your palm is 1% of your body.
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think I'd have to put like chapstick on my whole body if I ate Taco Bell
every day.
Just dunk and Vaseline.
Yeah.
If somebody starts to go fund me for that, just let us know.
I'll do it. I i mean we'd need to
raise like 80 bucks so yeah that's literally yeah that would be very pricey you know that is that
is a good thing about taco bell yeah if we want to put gluten to the test i'll do a price point
i'll do 30 or i'll do 30 days of taco bell i could do i could do 40 days of costco dogs
no you couldn't 40 days of just costco dogs that's when that's when you might die let me
tell you this you want to know why i know you can't anthony made a ham bean soup for the house
and i ate nothing but this ham bean soup for two days in a row and i thought my body was going to
shut the fuck down wait can you yeah you guys do your like meals or whatever that's what he made
yeah so he made i know he listens to this too that's you're a pig it was a ham hock and ham
steak and then there's things called ham beans ham bonies yeah and you put that it's just basically
a stew but uh i felt my entire body start to kind of like like the blood kind of like crinkle through my skin wow
and then starting to curl as far as toilet time goes yeah we're all wet white people i know we're
all wet white people i know we've all dabbled oh i mean when you when you do it you typically i
assume you're like me you go dry first and then finish with the wet right i do multiple rounds i
do dry wet dry yeah okay i've never had to go back to dry after I,
wet wipe.
When the wet wipe hits,
that's the last thing.
Then you haven't done enough ham.
The last one is.
Off ham bean soup,
I had to rotate through those to get done.
The last one isn't for cleanup.
It's for just drying off.
Okay.
I'm fine with that.
So that's just a one.
Okay.
That's okay.
The job gets done with.
I like to have a little moisture in there.
You like that?
Yeah. Just a little lube. Just to kind of scoot around gets done with. I like to have a little moisture in there. You like that? Yeah.
Just a little lube.
Just to kind of scoot around the house a little smoother.
I have too much hair down there.
It just turns into a big mess.
Yeah.
I mean.
Yeah.
Moisturize that hair, dude.
Wait.
So ham bean soup.
Do you get fat girl legs after seven days?
Oh yeah.
You get those varicose veins are popping.
Do you get office lady legs?
I was doing that lunch lady walk around.
The fucking, oh my God.
Boom, boom, boom.
The collateral leg waddle.
Yeah, you definitely get dump truck.
My keys were jiggling on every step.
You get cellulite after eight days.
I don't know what I ate.
You guys, didn't I ask you guys one day if I looked fat, like my face looked fat?
You did, yeah.
And then I went to see my parents.
I went home to like watch the pod show with my parents the next day.
They're like, you look like you've like put on some weight, like in a good way. Like I don't look like a skinny bitch. No, I don't think it was a good way. And I was went to see my parents. I went home to watch the pod show with my parents the next day. They're like, you look like you've put on some weight.
Like in a good way.
Like I don't look like a skinny bitch.
No, I don't think it was a good way.
And I was like, no, I haven't.
My face is like swollen from something that I ate.
I couldn't figure out what it was.
But I did eat some sausages
that have been in the freezer
like since I moved in, I'm pretty sure.
So I'm not sure if that's healthy.
Were they pre-cooked?
Meat swells.
I don't know if they were pre-cooked or not.
So I just cooked them.
That's meat swells.
You only have six months.
Do you know how long they were in there?
That might have been month seven.
I made it in March.
It was about nine months.
A baby could have been created
and born in the time that they were in the fridge.
That might be a little bit of coagulation.
I got a fucking pre-K.
So just my face was like,
I was like, why do I look chubby in the face?
We're good now.
I'm glad I went away.
Yeah, don't do that again.
Yeah, you're back to skeleton you.
Yeah, I'm back to like a meth man.
Yeah, you look like you're about to pass out at any second.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Now I know you're good.
It's a full moon.
You looked way too healthy.
Hold up.
Two days till the full moon.
Fucking watch out for Garrett out there.
The full moon full?
Dude.
How many days to the full moon?
If you stop getting full moon. Hey, fool. The full moon. The full moon fool? Dude, how many days to the full moon? Hey, fool!
The full moon's coming.
Dude, if there's a full moon out and you just see me
standing at the top of a dark street,
you better fucking run. If your zip code
starts with a nine and a two,
stay inside during a full moon.
Alright, so to close it
out here today, we got some fan submissions
and some games here
all right first one was in light of the new modern warfare coming out we have to do the
proximity chat draft okay who wants to start it well i mean first can we just be excited that
proximity chat is back yeah and warzone is about to be back yeah it's about to be backer than ever
okay so oh for mine we're gonna get slippery boys yeah the first one i had here
um the fuck you fuck you bloody fuck you that that sound wait what is the indian dudes just
yelling back at each other no fuck you bloody fuck you fuck i don't know if i heard that you
don't hear that one oh that's my favorite that's my favorite of all time wait so you're saying
you have a sound bank on fucking yeah yeah and you play that just run around okay if you have
sound banks for the fucking proximity chat.
You're goaded.
If you're not doing that, like you, I don't think you should run proximity chat unless
you have like a voice analyzer or something.
Like if you could like make yourself Trump voice or something.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sound bank is definitely, that's S tier for proximity chat.
Yeah.
What do you got?
I mean, ripping a classic Leroy Jenkins would just hit a little different.
Ooh. Just sprinting it into like a fucking building um let's see what do i what do i want here round one oh are we picking ours oh yeah these are we just throwing out yeah we're picking
it it's a draft here oh i was just throwing out what i had here I think just mocking what you think they're thinking
is up there for me
oh how the fuck did he kill me
dude how did he get in here
I didn't even hear him
I do hope that
you can maybe hear him like obviously post death
too
maybe you stand next to their corpse you can like chat
with them like while you're teabagging them
while you're teabagging them you can talk to them from. You can like chat with them. You can still talk to them. While you're teabagging them. While you're teabagging them, you can talk to them from the grave.
So like mocking whatever they say.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The other one I had here is just playing the Pornhub Amateurs theme intro.
Boobity boom.
Oh, see, you went all into the sound.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just repeating your fucking dog water over and over.
Dog water and or smooth brain.
I'm gonna have to take your mom's a bitch and or hoe.
Yeah, that's gonna sting for a little bit.
I think any kind of moan for me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like distorted to you. That was moaning. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
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Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah that's all time you're my son you're my son you're my son yeah oh my god someone you're my son and or i'm your dad yeah that's the best yeah because you can't really say much you could really
you could come into it nice especially if someone just body bags you're like fuck i might actually
be your son yeah because there's no more gulag for you it's just you're out because you could
be nice with it too you could be like i'm sorry son i'm sorry yeah you could flood my young boy
i'm sorry i had to do like hey man i know like obviously you young boy, I'm sorry. I had to do this for you. It's like, hey, man, I know, like, obviously, you're my son, but I had to fucking Darth Vader you.
Yeah, that's a good one.
For me, just the full-out scream, I think.
The distorted scream.
Just right here.
Anything distorted is ripped so hard.
Yeah, I'll pull it close if I feel like I really got you.
Yeah.
That takes it for me.
I'll tell you what.
I may lose at Warzone, but I won't lose at proximity chat.
Like, no.
There's not a...
You could never.
I'll be catching dubs consistently on that.
Yeah, did they bring back the... Is it proximity chat in the. There's not a... You could never. You're not... I'll be catching dubs consistently on that. Yeah. Did they bring back the...
Is it proximity chat
in the fucking main menu
after too?
Or not proximity chat,
but is there...
They've had that.
Well, Warzone doesn't have
like a menu after.
That's...
Yeah, no, they do.
Because everyone gets out
at a different time.
Only if you win.
Yeah.
No, but they do.
If you stay...
If you stay in,
you could just be in there
and like fuck you, fuck you.
Like when people were hacking,
like the whole lobby
would stay in
just to fucking scream
at the people at the end.
Fucking, fucking piece of shit. Yeah, I feel that. what do you got for us jay um this one's not so
much a game it's just kind of an opening question if you had to take an unreal amount of one drug
before a parent teacher conference what are you picking we're talking like strictly illicit
substances yeah i don't know i'd be like kind but. Well, even if you're off a shit ton of Adderall in there.
Yeah.
That'd be pretty aggressive.
So you have to take too much.
Yeah.
You have to take double what you're supposed to.
Like you won't die, but you're at an aggressive level.
Like you're at like the highest level you can be without dying.
For a parent teacher conference, am I the parent or the kid?
Okay.
You're the parent.
Oh, fuck.
You're the parent.
Yeah.
This is for your kid.
I feel like being blown out would be fucking weird.
Oh, yeah.
What did you say about my boy?
I'm not doing weed because then I feel like you'd get too paranoid.
I would be like freaking.
I would think it's for me.
I would think it's my parent-teacher conference.
I'm like 45.
I'm like, I'm sorry, Ms. Johnson.
Yeah, that'd be like, what's going on at home?
I'd be like, I don't know.
Maybe my wife's been beating me lately. Yeah, I'd be like what's going on at home. I don't know maybe I was you're beating me lately
Yeah, I mean anything that's gonna get you juiced you could definitely flip any kind of you still fun
Yeah, tripping balls would just be outrageous
Yeah, yeah, you're like showing you like the grades or something
You're like you how did you get a fucking Dumbledore?
You're like, how did you get a fucking Dumbledore on this test?
I didn't know you went to fucking Hogwarts.
No, I feel like if you do shrooms, it's like they show you a failed test and you're just giggling about it.
It's not going to go that well.
Fuck, my boy kills it.
What class is this?
Fucking Defense Against the Dark Arts?
That's fucking art.
Yeah, that's a toughie. Yeah, dude.
Molly would be...
Molly would be kind of fun.
You'd just be so sweet to the teacher you'd be like
super into like how do we get this to work yeah yeah like oh man i just love you're just such a
good fucking teacher god damn it yeah i think i think i'm going that because you're rubbing
yourself yeah you're such a good at least we figure out how to get the kid back in the game
you know what i'm saying yeah i think yeah i think a good conversation would come out of that
that's a safe bet very a very passionate conversation would be had. I think I'm going with that.
You're like listening to
EDM on your phone.
Yeah, no, TJ, get it.
For sure.
I like this song, Rips.
Okay, which life
downgrade
would you rather have?
Food has no taste, alcohol doesn't
work, or everyone can read your mind?
Fuck. Definitely not the last one. Yeah, definitely not that. I'm in jail for sure. have food has no taste alcohol doesn't work or everyone can read your mind oh fuck definitely
not the last one yeah definitely not that i'm in jail for sure oh that's that's i just i just lost
every friend in the world oh no yeah true no friends that'd be tough even just even just when
you're not thinking something just some crazy shit will cross your mind real quick should i kill my
boy right now should i just kill him It's interesting that you would go there.
I definitely, everyone would think I'm gay and a murderer.
What do you mean think?
No.
Everyone would now know.
Everyone knows.
Definitely not that.
I think I'd go food, no taste, because I could power around that.
Could you though?
I would eat so much healthier.
Well, because then it's like, fuck it.
I'd just eat whatever.
Yeah, I kind of would prefer like if food wasn't so dank because I would just eat the
healthiest food ever. Or imagine never being able to taste food again. I mean, it sucks. It's one of would prefer like if food wasn't so dank because I would just eat the healthiest
food.
Or imagine never being able to taste food again.
I mean, it sucks.
It's one of like my favorite things on earth.
Genuinely.
Yeah.
But like, that's the reason I also like don't have the best diet is because I love shitty
food.
Or with the alcohol, you can, you could alpha that into your favorite too.
It's like, okay, I'm just not going to drink alcohol now.
True.
So either of those would have benefits and drawbacks.
Cause you don't drink every day.
What do you, what do you think you like more? i guess the taste of food or the feeling of getting fucked up
because i love the taste of food and i love getting fucked up that's like but like on a
daily basis like even in the middle of a shit day if i eat like a dank thing for lunch i'm like
everything's okay for five minutes but think about how easy it is you're just eating like
you're eating like morgue at that point that's true but at least it's still good for i guess
it would be cheap and it would be healthy so i think i'd rather do that because but but like
how long would it take you to adapt to that like not that long fuck but what do you have to look
forward to during the day like an awful day drinking feel i feel like you drink every day
if you couldn't taste food so there's a pro. I think alcohol doesn't work.
You can still do everything else though.
Yeah.
And then I'm just, yeah, I guess I get high now.
I guess I would just do.
Yeah.
I'm California sober now.
California sober.
Um, you definitely, I'm saying either one of those, there's a nice health factor.
Yeah, for sure.
Like you're going to eat really healthy or you're just never going to drink, which are
both probably really good things, you know, but I can't decide which one i like more food i really
fucking like food because like i really like food let's look at the food one so you can't taste
anymore what are you eating on a daily basis the most healthy just blend it up what's like the i'm
making a smoothie out of it's like the highest efficiency like just healthy diet well you don't
want to blend it up every single meal why not You can't blend it because then you get less nutritional value.
Why?
Because there's a lot that goes into it being a solid food that makes you digest it better.
Well, it's still solid.
No, you're thinking of juicing versus blending.
Juicing takes away a lot of the stuff, but if you blend it up, the pulp and shit is still in there.
But it's more beneficial to eat a fruit than it is to blend it.
No.
I'm telling you it is. You're thinking of juicing. I know you're thinking of juicing. No, I know what it is. Think about it. Either way. It's the beneficial to eat a fruit than it is to blend it. No. I'm telling you it is.
You're thinking of juicing.
I know you're thinking of juicing.
No, I know what it is.
Think about it.
Either way.
It's the same thing.
Let's all disagree.
Let's look at it this way.
I saw this on Rogan, dude.
It's a thing.
It's because you digest it way faster.
Like, you just pee it out.
I remember him saying something about how smoothies aren't even healthy for you.
Like, when you eat a banana, your body has to-
Well, because you're not supposed to drink that much fruit.
Well, no, because he's like like you're literally ingesting like four fucking
whole apples at one
time
that's with fruit
because you just
don't want to eat
that much fruit
it's just like
there's too much
like natural sugar
but if you were
blending up like a
steak and potato
dinner
I know exactly
what episode you're
talking about
even if you
okay okay
disregarding that
I don't want to
I win
I don't want to
disregard that
I was up
what hits harder
like a nice meal at like a
fucking dank restaurant or getting
blacked with the boy
the thing about alcohol doesn't work is that
everything else kind of sucks
more like all the other drugs
like you don't just want to be
blown out that's not going to be a good time
that'd be miserable
and Molly you're just thinking about I'm going to die
probably half the time
when I first started taking Molly I would never drink because I thought you weren't supposed to That'd be miserable. And Molly, you're just thinking about, I'm going to die probably half the time. No.
When I first started taking Molly,
I would never drink because I thought you weren't supposed to.
Well, you probably not.
Yeah, you're probably not.
But it hits the same, trust me.
It's fire.
It's not like an anxiety freak out like you would get from other shit.
Yeah, I think I'd just roll and do streams every day
and fucking still taste day food.
Yeah, I think I got to go food. Not tasting food or you still do taste food?
I need the food
I wish I had a better reason to not drink alcohol
If it didn't work, cool
Yeah, I guess alcohol is a better choice for sure
Like you're gonna be better off
Cause you could still eat healthy
Without tasting
With still being able to taste food
But you're not gonna stop drinking if you can still get fucked
Unless unless you like really come on technically you have the option to do
Technically you always have the option to not get fucked
What's more likely like if I can't taste food, I'm you know, if I can't taste food, I'm an alcoholic every day
That's the main problem. I'm saying it's more likely that I'll quit drinking if I can't if I can't taste food i'm an alcoholic every day that's the main problem i'm saying it's
more likely that i'll quit drinking if i can't if i can't get drunk oh wait question question
question if i go the food one does alcohol do i lose the taste of alcohol also that'd be no it's
not a food so i could oh so i could still drink like apple juice and taste it true okay so i need
food fuck it i'll get my I'll drink my flavors drink your
taste
yeah
if you couldn't
taste alcohol
and I'm gonna get
fucked up and laugh
at you guys
if you couldn't
taste anything
including alcohol
that would be lit
yeah cause then
I could get fucked up
and not have to
gag the entire time
true
I would just
I would literally
just walk around
with a fucking
handle of tequila
fair enough
I love how we're just taking it to the absolute maximum, no matter what it is.
How else are we going to do that?
All right.
I think we got it then.
Yeah.
Easy.
I think we nailed that.
All right, folks.
You have managed to survive another hour of us.
Thank you for joining us.
What else we got popping?
I think we got to recommit to the day and time again.
Just because we got lost in the sauce for a little bit there.
Yeah.
I think Sundays are tough.
I think the release. You want to do Wednesdays at noon?
No.
The release? Oh, yeah, yeah.
Wednesdays at noon.
Sure.
I feel like the more we commit to shit,
the more we let people down.
Fuck that. You get it when you get it.