NO FOMO - 37. Turkey is Street Meat
Episode Date: November 23, 2022🔔 Subscribe: https://linktr.ee/nofomopod 🎽 Merch: https://www.bonfire.com/store/no-fomo/ Welcome Back Fomosapiens. This week we're talking Thanksgiving, Qatar, and the end of times Sheep Circle.... Let's Evolve Together, NO FOMO. Support the Podcast: Get 20% OFF @manscaped + Free Shipping with promo code NOFOMO at MANSCAPED.com!
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back, back, back, back to the Mocs Chicken FOMO Show.
No FOMO.
What's up guys and welcome to another episode of No FOMO.
If you like the show, make sure to subscribe to the YouTube or find us on socials at NoFOMOPodcast underscore.
And if you want to support the show, check out the link in our bio for merch and more.
Let's go.
We're good, G?
So good.
I'm good.
I'm great.
Jesus Christ.
I feel really good.
Can you fucking just rip it
off i'm ready to just start yelling i'm ready to start yelling what do you mean you're being
sorry you're gonna take it over here okay welcome back to episode go count for your fucking selves
with your street meat family yelling uh because nobody's listening to me and it's a problem and
i need to start fixing it now. Okay.
Um, do we want to start off with some confessions?
Wait, hold on.
Why do you think you're, why do you think no one's listening to you, Jay?
Are you okay?
Yeah. Everything good.
Look, man.
Are you going through it?
We're not going to do it right now.
We'll do it after.
Okay.
It's Thanksgiving week.
It's Thanksgiving week.
Confessions.
Thanksgiving is coming up.
It is.
But before we go to Thanksgiving, so we met yeah i got a confession so we met the awesome
powers impersonator oh yeah well do you want to just like give any context you're just gonna yeah
so we went to uh we went to the like you just showed up to your fucking house or what no okay
so we went to the friday beers fucking was it just like a it was like a live stream-a-thon like a 12
hour fucking booze fest and they had had a bunch of impersonators come in.
Awesome powers are there.
Tried to fuck me.
Tried to fuck me.
He verbally gave me his address.
He was trying to fuck me.
He was hitting on Morgan kind of aggressively, which is weird.
He gave me his number on Instagram.
He wants to go on a sushi date.
So what's like a proper...
Course of action?
Yeah, proper amount of like mics that we can get
go on the date i mean i'm not just gonna go on it like we need we need some i mean you should i
think if okay look i have so many so many if this guy's trying to take you out and fuck you let's
set up some ground rules like if he wants to do it like he's got to spend like maybe he buys you a
nice what if he bought you like a new car or something no i think we let the listeners decide the austin powers impersonation business
is that fruitful where he'd be i don't know if he can even know we let the listeners decide
x amount of shares i'll fuck him okay yeah i'm done with that so we have to go like that
i'm just what what this guy has some superb confidence to think he can just hit on a guy
while he's dressed as awesome powers
when you gave no signs of no he was super being interested no he was super normal as awesome
powers but then he sent me a selfie through instagram oh yeah that was fucking of him
without the costume he literally goes this is who you're going to sushi
it's not good it's not good but yeah so like scary what's a proper amount of views on the
youtube i'll go on the sushi day i will start there no you're not i'm not gonna you're not
gonna do that you won't why do you even lie and say that you would ever do that you wouldn't do
it would you say how many then okay 10k views i'll go on a fucking street oh yeah okay make
it something impossible it could be dude no that ain't gonna happen okay well anyways i just i don't i don't get how that whole thing even transpired i didn't even see you like really
talking to him oh we were absolutely flirting with awesome powers well he told me he's
he pulled me aside he's like man you just have really good energy like as soon as i met you and
i was just like yo what's going on dude where was I when this happened yeah it was
it was a quick pull away wow like took an arm back oh it was like yeah he was aggressive grab
dude I could just tell like you've got it dude I know you didn't say that not say you got it
you told me I got it and then did the Jack Sparrow impersonator get really drunk or was I just really
drunk no he was really good at acting really drunk, but he definitely took like a few rounds of shots with us
Yeah, no, but like I was talking with him on the side and he was like a lot of character for like a second
Now he was nearly fine, but he he could do that like the little Jack Sparrow wobble so well
Yeah, no, he was like, oh he's hammered
Yeah
remember when we right when we walked in and we're going up the stairs And I just turned around and see Austin Powers
Like randomly behind me
And I just started cracking up
And then he starts laughing
In his Austin Powers voice
And then I could not stop laughing
At his laugh
To where we were just going back and forth
The whole three stories up to the fucking building
Dude that guy killed it
All the impersonators were great
Shout out Friday Beers gentlemen
for having us over there. Yeah, that was lit.
Alright, alright, alright. Thanksgiving.
Alright, anyway. Thanksgiving.
The Thanksgiving side of things. Family.
Can we all agree that fucking turkey is the
fucking woe meat of all time?
It's the woedest meat there is.
It's dry as shit. It's not good.
Even if you get, like, someone
cooks it really well, it's still not good.
Even if it's juicy and not dry.
Pretty good for next day sandos, though.
Yeah, I like it in a sandwich or something.
I don't like it just sliced on its own.
It's got to be sauced the fuck out on a sandwich.
Gravy dipped.
Yeah, gravy dipped.
Gravy slipped.
Gravy ripped.
I don't even know if I love Thanksgiving food in general.
Okay.
I mean, I feel like there's
better shit there's too much nostalgia with it to not like it yeah no i like it i'm just like
i'd rather go to like a restaurant what do you think should be the sorry well i remember that
one year when we did like we did a fucking bunch of fucking prime rib steaks and shit
yeah that was dang see i think prime rib is goaded, but we always eat that for fucking Christmas.
You do Christmas?
Yeah.
I think the cow should be the mascot for Thanksgiving rather than the turkey.
Yeah.
Well, when are we going to do turkeys then?
We don't need turkeys.
No one ever eats turkey ever.
Everybody eats turkey once a year.
Literally, right?
Yeah.
Let's take it out.
It's so good.
Wouldn't you eat it like maybe another meal a year?
And they can't even fly.
Get them out of my face.
They can't even fly. The bird out of my face. They can't even fly.
The bird can't fly.
It can fly.
A turkey cannot fly.
A little bit.
They get off the ground.
No, they're not like chickens.
They do like chickens.
No, they don't do like chickens.
Chickens don't fly.
Chickens get way up, though.
We looked it up last time.
Yeah, it's bullshit.
They use it as like a little boost.
A turkey can get human head height.
For sure. No, a chicken can. A turkey can. Oh, yeah. A chicken can. a turkey can get human human head height for sure I know a chicken can a turkey. Oh yeah, chicken here turkey can get it, but like twice that a
Turkey is fucking landborn. They start swinging the giblets right here, and they kind of launch themselves like Thor's hammer
Oh, they fly backwards because of the fucking it's like a backwards
Yeah, easily they like feeling the wind on those markers
yeah easily they like feeling the wind on those fuckers
what's like the woe part of the thanksgiving spread do you think
cranberry sauce i don't even touch that oh fucking the yam shit fucking yep no the marshmallow yams fuck that yams i don't even touch that it's what you do you love that shit i bet you do you
think i'm a marshmallow yam guy marshmallow yam city dude you've never seen me eat marshmallow yams
up in there slapping that on your plate because she makes your plate for you still because you're
a child does she really yes i bet she does i'm a tri-tip king you want mashed potatoes you guys
have tri-tip on thanksgiving yeah see that that's the tri-tip fox yeah tri-tip fox you know we're
like the only state that like eats that regularly what tri-tip fucks. Yeah, tri-tip fucks. You know where like the only state that like eats that regularly?
What?
Tri-tip?
Like other states that do like barbecue and shit, they don't even fuck with tri-tip.
Yeah, I guess like.
It's like ass to them.
In like Texas barbecue, they don't really do tri-tip, do they?
They do like brisket.
Yeah, it's butt.
They say it's butt.
I think brisket is butt.
I mean, I'm just a fan of all sorts of that type of meat other than fucking turkey.
Street meat's number one.
Like barbecue meat is all is all
dank as fuck but true turkey fucking oven oven cooked street meat though would you rather have
a bacon wrapped hot dog or turkey on thanksgiving i mean just bacon wrapped turkey just because the
bacon wrapped dog is so classless i think i'm just gonna have to continue with the thanksgiving
turkey that is pretty sad That's pretty fucking sad.
If you got hot dogs on your... My parents would fucking disown me.
I think I'd rather have a bacon-wrapped dog than turkey.
Yeah, well, you probably...
Yeah, I'd rather have it,
but I can't pull up to the fucking dinner table with that.
Yeah, well, it's hypothetical.
Imagine, like, you show up,
and, like, that's what you brought for your, like, dish.
Some boiled dog.
You got some boiled bacon wrap.
All right, everyone grab a bun.
I brought something special today.
Some fucking boiled up dogs slathered in the juice.
Let's see what else we got here.
Yeah, okay.
So the question is, statistically,
who do you think is the most annoying family member at Thanksgiving?
Just across the board.
This isn't your family.
This is just across the board. Yeah, this family this isn't this is just statistically across the
board yeah this doesn't have to be a single adult probably single so like single aunt or auntie
like an aunt oh if you have if you have a rogue like 60 year old aunt or uncle that's still single
oh yeah 60s like 50 or 60 years old yeah just like they're not it's not happening again yeah
i think drunk grandpa's got to be my top for sure.
Like no kids, like nothing.
Like just, it's just them.
And they're coming because they just are going to fill up those combos with a bunch of fucking
bullshit.
Well, yeah, they, cause they don't interact with people on a regular basis.
No, I think I'm really into fucking making stained glass now.
And you're like, shut the fuck up.
I think overachieving sibling is definitely out there.
Oh, okay.
You don't know anything about that though. Yeah. You don't know. I've been to a lot of Thanksgiving's dude sibling is definitely out there. You don't know anything about that, though.
Yeah, you don't know.
I've been to a lot of Thanksgivings, dude.
I'm out here.
True.
I feel like a drunk grandpa would be hilarious.
No, drunk grandpa's number one.
That's top.
He's goaded.
Goaded, yeah.
Honestly, whatever the drunkest is best.
The drunkest is the best one.
Drunk dad and his team is down by 20, also goaded.
You know who it is?
It's got to be like an ex-drug addict or like alcoholic uncle who like no longer drink and
they're just sitting there like pissed off the whole time and doesn't have a job yet yeah and
like well you know what you know when somebody's at the dinner table and like just this total
estranged yeah absolute hated family member yeah the worst. The drug addict homeless
shows up is definitely bottom.
Yeah, it'd probably be the bottom of the list.
I'd say anybody sober has just
got to be up there as the woe.
If they're underage, if they're of age.
Yeah.
I feel like Thanksgiving, though, is the time when your underage
siblings get a little fucking... They get like a glass of wine.
They get a glass of wine or something.
Someone gives them like a shot. like one shot and they're like oh
shit someone it's you yeah john gives them a shot i've been trying to push beers on my cousins for
years really oh yeah they need it he and he's like oh i don't want it i'm like you don't know
you don't get it you don't know he's like he looks at me like down on me because i'm drunk
wait yeah are you now like a drunk fucking i guess you're just still a cousin yeah are we He's like, he looks at me like down on me cause I'm drunk. Wait, yeah.
Are you now like a drunk fucking, I guess you're just still a cousin.
Yeah.
Are we just the drunk older siblings?
When are we like the, when are we, when are we the woes?
Oh, we're getting close.
We're getting close, right?
Yeah.
We're the almost 30 year old cousin slash uncle who just gets really drunk and doesn't
really have a job.
Wait, did we just describe ourselves?
We're the drunkest unemployed fucking single no we're employed this is a business dude
unemployed and single all right so we're designing the woat thanksgiving dinner table
yeah all right jay you want to should we start with dad we're gonna do dad I'm down with dad yeah dad mom brother
okay
my dad
I'm bringing the zuck
Zuckerberg
as my dad
that's a fucking good one
Lizard King energy
cause yeah
Lizard King energy
barely able to speak to him
in sentences that make
any kind of sense
he's probably not gonna eat
the food
true
and he's talking to you
while you're chewing
yeah he's like
he's just staring at everyone
while you eat like he's just got a full plate in front of you're chewing. He's just staring at everyone while you eat.
He's just got a full plate in front of him.
His eyes are haunting.
Just staring you down.
So I'm getting meat sweats and Zuckerberg sweats.
He's only talking about Facebook the whole time.
Remember that video of him just talking about how he loves grilling meats?
I bet he brings some gas food.
I didn't think about that.
But it's probably fucking shit.
You know, just grilling meats.
But the uncomfortability, I would say, is 10 yeah 10 discomfort is a definite 10 on that like my
mindset was if it was just these people that i brought holy fuck most uncomfortable yeah we're
having a tough time okay i like that one that's a pretty solid one um i mean i i don't i don't
know if anyone could beat who i'm bringing and And I know Morgan's probably bringing the same guy. He's a fucking goat.
Top G.
Top G.
Dude, he would body the fucking table, bro.
He's stirring the pot a lot.
He's just shitting on every single female there.
Yeah.
Trying to convince all the males why we should not respect them.
I imagine him with like, if it was just him as the dad and like our family, like our Thanksgiving,
like my mom and your mom just being like asking stir the pot questions to him, like trying
to just like religion him down or something.
And he's just fucking firing back with.
Dude, he'd be going off.
Like, could you imagine Carol?
He's religious.
Could you imagine Carol like being there?
And he's just like, yeah, I have a bunch of, a bunch of girlfriends.
She's like, no, you need to, you need to find someone to love. And he's just like, yeah, I have a bunch of, a bunch of girlfriends. She's like, no, you need to, you need to find someone you love.
And he's just like, why would I do that?
The debate, the debates would be fucking all time.
Yeah.
That, that, that's a good one, but it, it, it does depend on who the other ones are.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It does.
Yeah.
Well, the other people I brought, it's, it would be great.
Yeah.
Okay.
For mine, I'm doing Bane, but he's super polite, but still trying to kill everyone
So we got
surpassed the turkey
Gravy is your
Like that just for the quotes it would be good. Yeah, but everyone's still on edge
You know like I'm trying to kill everyone like I like actively
Yeah, like it's it's suspicious as fuck. Okay but he's being polite he's hungry so he's being
polite yeah he's gonna wait till after dinner okay okay so you don't know when he's gonna strike
okay yeah so bane top g and zuckerberg they're all pretty fucking good i think i think i gotta
go zucker there suck i might i'm able to agree with that because you gotta you gotta go off do
you want it to be basically if you're going do you want it to be basically, if you're going... Uncomfortable? Do you want it to be really uncomfortable or do you want it to be stir-the-pot subjects?
Yeah, like crazy conversations, which would honestly just be so entertaining.
Which is just almost like regular Thanksgiving, though.
Yeah, that's true.
The Zuck would be incredibly uncomfortable.
Yeah, Zuck, I'm like, I'm itching a little bit.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, if he was my dad, too, and I'm like, I have like, if you came, I'd be like...
Let's put it this way.
It would be fun to get in a debate
with andrew tate but it would just be uncomfortable as shit to have to talk to mark yeah i'm itching
no matter what with zucky there yeah okay we'll go zuck dad zuck daddy zuck mommy okay uh i picked
chris jenner for this one oh because i just imagined her oh i thought you meant i thought
you meant caitlin okay oh no no i thought about that but i went chris on this one uh i'm just thinking she's gonna be sitting there talking like
instagramming the whole thing yapping taking pictures trying to like absolutely talk about
her daughters the entire time and no one gives a fuck she's gonna be that mom that's just like
yeah my daughters are non-stop yeah and now we got zucky involved so he's just over there i bet
he has no idea what she's talking
about no but have you guys seen the show no more you're the only their vocabulary is of a fucking
third grader at best it's just like everything's so nice yeah so good yeah well how do you feel
nervous like it's so bad pretty good dude it's so fucking bad i'm just sitting there just like
what it's i think it's fucking hilarious just because it's so bad it's bad good or it's it's so bad pretty good dude it's so fucking bad i'm just sitting there just like what it's i think
it's fucking hilarious just because it's so bad it's bad good or it's it's good bad it's good bad
here's the thing i feel like if chris jenner's involved it's she's hosting it so yeah you're
getting a banger meal that is banger house with like private chefs and shit i didn't think about
all the pros there's a lot of pros there's a lot of woes though like but he makes it i think that you
guys are gonna have some that don't have a lot of pros yeah i i feel like i messed up there on that
one i gotta say you haven't even said yours yet and i already feel like yeah it's gonna be
fucking rich as shit yeah it is gonna be rich but the woes weigh out the pros i think because
like you had to take a bunch of pictures and shit oh Oh, yeah. You'd have to do like a... Oh, here's an angle. Also pro.
Are Kendall and Kylie there?
Because then she's...
No, no.
She's not bringing her own daughters?
No, you can't get that.
Why?
I want it.
You can't get that.
I want it, dude.
I want it.
Don't get that, bro.
I've got just the woad of the year, Amber Heard.
Oh, that's really good.
That's really good. I didn't think of that. We don't even really need to say why that's really good that's really good i didn't think of that that's we don't
even really need to say why that's good that's just she'd be just down horrendous fishing about
crying or something yes you know the amount of drama that would ensue have having her there she
wouldn't have any money for anything because she's fucking sued till she didn't bring anything
that didn't bring she didn't she just shows up in like a fucking sweater and she's all just
depressed the whole time.
She brings the bacon wrapped hot dogs.
Yeah.
She brought the fucking street dogs.
Not even pigs in a blanket.
And she's wearing that fucking just face.
That face.
She has a scared her the whole time.
What else goes into her?
I mean, that's just.
She might shit on the floor or something.
That's true.
Oh, she shits on the table?
When she says she's going to the bathroom, you got to make sure she goes into the bathroom yeah she brings like follower she brings like truffles or something
yeah everyone's got to question it oh yeah truffles yeah yeah oh god she brings her own
dessert yeah i do like that one um for mine i had britney spears oh oh that'd be now we got
the drunk dance moves maybe on the table yeah and. And we got the possibility of blacking out.
And her and Zuck would be a pretty good combo because I feel like they could have a combo.
Yeah.
That would be a good.
They'd be able to talk it out.
They might be able to level.
The dysfunctional combo of the century.
Wow.
I'm going to go ahead and do my vote on that.
I think I like Britney Spears.
Britney?
Okay, Britney and Zuck.
You're getting a performance.
Yes.
That's going to be bad.
And there's no way she's had a coherent
conversation for the last 10 years.
And she's going to eat a lot and feel bad towards the end.
Am I going to get a nip slip in there?
I don't know if I'd want a nip slip from her
at this point in time.
Britney and Zucky? Britney, Zuck, mom, dad.
That's a great mom, dad.
I've got the fucking best one ever for the daughter.
I have a really good one.
Are we doing daughter now no our
uncle we're doing drunkle yeah uh oh i've got a baby i'm going i'm going with the top drunkle
ever probably i'm going mel gibson oh okay i like that we're getting racism you better make sure
we're getting we're getting is he racist oh he's big racist. We're getting racism. We're getting racism.
Wait, Gibby's racist?
Oh, he's heavy racist.
Oh, shit.
You ever heard those fucking voicemails?
Oh, he's got racist voicemails?
He's like, he hates Jews.
Yeah, hates Jews.
He's big on that.
Zuckerberg Jewish?
Definitely.
That's a very interesting last name.
Zucky?
The Zucky's is a little, he's got a little Jew in him.
Zuckerberg is Berger.
Bergenstein?
Bergenstein.
It used to be Bergenstein when he took the Mayflower.
I was like, imagine having gifts in there and like another Jewish person there.
That's true.
Okay.
So you got Gibby, Gibby, Zucky, and Brandy.
I've got a great candidate for drunkle okay hunter biden
oh shit don't even say yours fuck here he's bringing a prostitute he's bringing crystal
meth yeah got to win a win yes you guys bringing some crack yeah i think i'm gonna have to go with
with jebus what was yours though i have white Goodman from dodgeball white good
Because you might try to fuck the turkey yeah pizza scene yeah Yeah, he's going in on the food, and he's got a dodgeball in hand so at the table
You're like checking everybody at the table pelton. He's in that yeah, yeah
But yeah, I still got it. Yeah. No that's hunter Biden. No, but holy fucking shit. that's good yeah no that's hunter biden no hunter biden
holy fucking shit that's a good one hunter biden britney and zucky okay now we got sister yeah
okay um for mine i'm doing bell delphine oh my god that's who is that the e-girl dude like the
cat girl oh you have to look it up she's like the ultimate fucking like anime chick. Anime chick, yeah.
But she's also like a porn star.
Yeah, she's an anime porn star. B-E-L-L-E Delphine with a P-H.
You might find some crazy shit if you look her up.
Yeah, if you Google it up, you have to have safe search off.
You'll at least recognize her.
And that's just for everyone else.
Oh, I know her.
Yeah, I know her.
Oh, I know her. Yeah, you do. Wait, is this still? Sorry to interrupt. Is this still recording? TikTok, I know Yeah, you do
Tick-tock I'm 18
Dude, yeah, she's uh, she'd be interesting and interesting everyone
I'm just imagining if like if we only got one character to bring and it was her have you heard her talk to oh?
Yeah, she yeah, it's like the most like a little like
Like a total little fucking anime kid.
Morg's mom would be going nuts.
And she'd show up in like a crazy slutty outfit.
Yeah, she'd be in a fucking pink hair and fucking cat ears and all that shit.
No, there's no my mom.
It's fucking Brittany, dude.
Brittany's going to be confused.
Zuckerberg is going to have no clue what's going on.
And Hunter Biden's trying to fuck her the whole time.
Hey, want to smoke some crack in the bathroom?
Hunter Biden's trying to fuck her the whole time.
Hey, want to smoke some crack in the bathroom?
I've got a fun debate-oriented candidate for the female here.
Greta Thornburg.
Greta Thurnburg.
Oh, the little girl?
The climate girl?
The climate girl?
That's a stir-the-pot one. That's a stir-the-potter.
She shows up on a sailboat.
That's a team-up with Zucky?
I guess, right?
Yeah.
We could maybe.
If Mel Gibson was there, I feel like.
She's got a little autism too, I think.
So she's.
Yeah, she's got something.
She'd hit her and Zuck and Brittany would hit it off.
Yeah, that might be just the most entertaining trio of all time.
That's pretty good.
I had Regina George.
Regina George.
Because, oh, that Mean Girls.
From Mean Girls, yes.
Because you got the backhand comments about the
food like oh these mashed potatoes are so good these are so good for you yeah yeah and then you
did a really good job trying to make these she's just like looking at britney spears all the time
like oh my god yeah and she's worried about gaining weight the whole time so yeah they got
that who do we got for this one wait let's okay zuckerberg i feel like this one has to be contingent on the other yeah it's got
to roll with it it's got to roll with it or be completely backwards yeah to make it worse
i'm sticking i i gotta i'm being selfish here but i think i think you gotta go because of hunter
biden i think she would be very fun because there would just be some interesting yeah like she'd be
the fucking drinking the gravy with her tongue.
Yeah, she'd be doing some crazy weird shit.
And Hunter Biden's literally like masturbating under the table.
He's over there beating off, smoking meth.
He's a ledge.
You could have done Hunter Biden for every one of the things. Yeah, probably.
For mom, I have a Hunter Biden.
All right, so we got the Zuck, Britney Spears, Hunter Biden, and Belle Delphine
as our candidates for the worst combination of humor.
Make that into a meme.
At a Thanksgiving dinner table.
I think we did pretty good there.
Yeah.
I'd show up to that Thanksgiving.
I would easily.
Well, we're there.
I would kill them.
And us three.
We've got our own.
Oh, and us three.
That would be the best fucking Thanksgiving ever., I don't have to say shit. Yeah
Just take it all in
We're gonna take a quick break
It's never too early to play holiday music and it's never too early to start thinking about gifts
Whether it's for a friend or the friends in your pants
You can make this a season to be jolly with manscaped
Do your little drummer boy a favor and use the lawnmower 4.0
to avoid another silent night in the bedroom that one hits that's a good line manscaped is on it
they're on it then add in manscaped's top of the line shower products to have the people thinking
all i want for christmas is you santa cares about his sack and shows. So should you look nice when you get naughty
by going to manscape.com and using the code no FOMO for free shipping and 20% off. Now I will
tell you that the platinum package 4.0 sitting under the tree is a guarantee to put anyone in
the holiday spirit. So make sure you get 20% off and free shipping with the code no FOMO at
manscape.com. I'm going to say it again. Like I haven't said it a thousand
times, that's 20% off with free shipping. You'd never get anything shipped free these days
at manscaped.com with the code nofomo. Manscaped, get your jingle balls ready for the holidays.
Now back to the show. Let's go. All right. Are we on sheeple? Shepherd's circle?
The sheep circle? Yes.
So there's a circle of sheep that have been walking in a circle since November 4th in China.
And it's like, there's like a hundred of them.
Yeah.
There's a large amount of them.
It's ridiculous.
They walk in a perfect circle.
So this is at a farm for them.
Apparently there's 34 pens of them and this is the only
one that's doing it okay there's 34 pens of that many sheep of that many sheep and this is the
only one that's doing it they've been doing it for uh since the fourth so 20 days already yeah
almost so what they'll do is like a couple of them will go eat and bow out and drink some water for a
second and they come back and they just tap in and just keep walking there's shifts to this there so we need to know the why and i don't think it's
good yeah and i need to know one of the things i need to know along with that is why isn't it
bigger news true why why aren't we panicking i want to because they have video of it right yeah
there's like a live stream of it. I want to see how it started.
Because there's no way it just starts with one.
Walking in a perfect circle. Yeah.
Right?
So there was one thing that someone tried to explain it.
And they said there's a disease.
Yes, I saw this.
That causes this.
But they die after two days from this disease.
So it's not that.
So they've been going for far longer than that.
It's not this.
Because it's called like the circling disease or something.
Where they just like lose their mind or something.
Yeah, it's like mad cow disease but for she okay
but yeah they would die after two days okay and they've been and they've been going for like three
times now it could be the start of covet 23 i hope yeah dude if we just start ganging up with
our neighborhoods and just circling out could you imagine if there was a pen of humans that were doing that? No, but I think... First of all, break that down.
A pen of humans.
Like just neighborhoods all go to the park and they're just...
Yeah, like what other animals would be doing this?
And if there was like birds just flying in a circle for this long, we'd be freaking the fuck out.
Yeah, what else has to happen for this to be like a national thing, do you think?
Like does it need to be crop circles mixed in with it?
Did we just see this on Instagram? I can't remember where we saw it's it's on a bunch of things it's world news so yeah it's it's news but it's not
like why isn't there like full panels discussing this because it is a pretty fucking big mystery
because people just try and explain it this is what anytime something cool happens yeah people
are just like oh they're herd animals if one walks in a circle, they're going to follow it.
But not for three days.
20 days.
20 days.
Three weeks.
Wait, we've got to see if it's still happening.
It is.
I just looked up yesterday.
As of last night, it was still happening.
Is it like an actual live stream or there's just video of it?
I've seen the video of it.
Because if it's a live stream, I'm pulling it up and I'm just having it running 20 minutes.
Yeah, I would watch that nonstop.
Yeah, I would stop watching it.
I mean,
this is the most obvious answer.
There's a glitch in the fucking simulation.
Yeah.
That's I'd have that.
It's gotta be a matrix large scale glitch.
Yeah.
And they're,
it's like Twitter employees there.
Whatever's running the matrix is down on employees right now.
And they haven't been able to get to this.
Yeah.
Everyone else is busy keeping the rest of the matrix running.
And they're like,
hopefully they just don't notice the sheep.
Yeah.
They're like,
fuck.
We're yeah. We're, we have a couple people out on sick
leave our sheep squad is fucking low on employees yeah yeah put the charge on domesticated animals
we're trimming some fat on the staffing and yeah we don't think anyone will notice the sheep
they're probably running tests on what we will notice they're like to keep the sheep
they've been going for three weeks no one's yeah no one not one yeah this is the start of the end yeah beginning of the end
yeah and then shit just starts trickling further and further out i do think the end is close though
i will say uh oh as a whole yeah existence just in general yeah yeah i could see like some some
else one more thing i feel like every fucking day something absurd is going on i just feel like it's
got to be building up to something i'm telling you if if a pod of dolphins was swimming in an octagon, and
then birds were doing a triangle in the sky,
I'd call it. I'd just say, we're done.
Something's up. What other
shape do you think would make it so
it's over? Like if they switch
shapes. Oh, if they start walking in like those.
If they switch shapes at any point
to any other shape, it's worth it.
It's completely over. If they do a perfect
square or something, they're just turning
on 90s oh my god yeah or an octagon then then you have to really question like everything that's
ever happened ever right yeah yeah there is another little side segment to this that's hilarious is
there's a bunch of comments uh from the right wing about the left wing people about democrats and
libs based on the based on this because it's cheap walking in a circle like drop joe biden there he
wouldn't even question and he just started walking in a circle oh my god they're like wonder
how this started the democrats probably gave it to them oh my god of course i was just like dying
i was like yeah sheep doing anything they're like oh yeah got him got him it is in china isn't it
it is in china what are they doing the animals over there dude yeah what it could just be some insane testing they're doing maybe
it has to be it's new covid another fucking covid yeah so watch out for testing out on sheep watch
i bet you anything this year covid people are gonna be like yeah i just couldn't do anything
besides make a left turn wait 10 hours ago they claimed that they solved it did you read up no did you look it up this
recently no i was in the middle of the night let's see scientists claim to have solved the
mystery behind an eerie footage of a huge flock of sheep walking in a circle in china let's see
i'm trying to find where it's unacceptable yeah it was it's just a similar thing to what you said
where they just exhibit flock mentality so that like maybe a couple of them just started doing it but like
why the fuck did a couple of them even start doing it in the first place dude how are they
not exhausted yeah what is going on like do they sleep no that's what i'm saying like what the
fuck actually they they have confirmed from the farmer that they'll like bow out to get like some
water a couple like they'll dip out for a second but yeah i didn't even think about the sleep
factor mad shepherd's disease mad shepherd's disease mad sheppel sheeple yeah i don't
fucking know it just says this is not good it couldn't it couldn't be holy i'm telling you
i swear to god it's like two weeks from now, there's going to be like
a volcano that explodes or something.
Something's happening.
Because like, isn't it, don't animals always notice like when shit goes wrong first?
Yeah.
If a fucking volcano, like what's the big one in Mount Fuji or something's going to
go off?
Yeah, the closest, whatever the closest one to where they are.
There's going to be a massive earthquake and it starts right there on that circle.
Oh, it starts in the middle of the circle that's what it is could you imagine because
no they'd run away from it
sheep might not all right straight into the world cup in qatar yes why the fuck is it there
um so they do like a a lottery i'm pretty sure. And Qatar wins the lottery?
No, so there's actually a thing on Netflix.
Yeah, I just saw it.
Talking about how corrupt it is.
So however, Qatar with the airlines or something, they paid it off.
Yeah, so they think that they just bought their way into having it there.
Interesting.
Have you guys seen the facts about Qatar?
Which?
Hit us with them. Okay, so men outnumber women three to one really in the whole country so i mean how do you live like that
three to one how's that even actually possible though that's probably the best ratio that we've
ever had for anything ever wait Wait, there's a girl?
Yeah, what?
Imagine if there was one girl here, we'd be jazzed.
Would we though?
Yeah, if there was one, it's better.
We're at zero.
Better than none.
So that got me thinking, what's the worst guy-girl ratio you could have
and still have a successful event?
One.
More.
Three to one. Three to one. I guess they figured it out a successful event one more three to one three to
one i guess they figured it out for us yeah three to one i don't i don't know realistically it
depends on how large the how large the group is yeah yeah yeah because if it's like two to one
but there's only you know six people there yeah it's not great yeah i think after two to one you
have to stop there you have to stop
letting more guys in like it can't get worse than that yeah because then it's just weird
i think i think that's even a little rough yeah i'm thinking about everything i've ever been to
it's got to at least be one to one i think yeah ideally but that's never happened yeah
college the parties they would be four to one girls yeah that's that's never happened. Yeah. That's never happened. I was told in college the parties, they would be four to one girls.
Yeah, that's a good event.
Yeah.
College.
It stopped heftily after college.
Yeah, yeah.
That's a good event.
But so what's the worst that can be and it's still okay?
Two to one.
Two to one, I think.
But I think it matters the size.
Because if it's like, I think the smaller the amount of people the more okay it is if it's like 10 guys five chicks or that would be three to one
that'd be two to one that'd be two to one that would be 15 people one third oh i was thinking
come on more yeah you're better than that no that's still two guys to one girl yeah that's
still two ten guys five girls you're right yep that's still two to one right yeah so that's still two ten guys five you're right yep that's still two to one yeah so that's fine
if it's like 10 guys five girls i feel like it depends what the event i mean i guess you
gotta consider because if it's that small you can consider who the people are yeah i think the
bigger it is purely just off the number then yeah that's not great but if it's like 10 guys and
you're like oh those four dudes have like girlfriends yeah i think the bigger it
is the the more room for error there is yeah like if there's 50 girls and 100 guys it's still shitty
but yeah you figured out maybe i don't know i don't i think it just it really depends on the
event the people that are there i think any of anything over two to one. Yeah. Well, I'll just say this,
not going to Qatar.
Well, yeah, as a country.
Based off that singular stat, pass.
I'm sure you have worse.
Wait, but how do you even sustain a country like that?
That's what I'm saying.
How is that even a functioning society?
Because most of the people stay there for a long time.
Isn't China sort of like that too?
Because of the fucking one.
Most of the people stay there for a long time.
You mean like they live there?
No, I mean like,
it's not like a big you could leave type scenario it's like there's a monarch
and shit and it's there's they got a big people live there yes yeah people do live there yes yes
but like how do you how do they have like proper families and is there a lot of just single
older dudes probably right with that math yeah there has to be there's a good amount
of throuples i don't know but i'm just saying like statistically how does that even happen
well i mean we are we've already sure china's like that too because they used to have the one
baby thing and everyone would just keep yes we broke this down the population collapse is coming
dude we're fucked good it's about that's good that's good news we like that okay outside of their ratios what else yeah what else you got as far as okay so the we know that
the public consumption of alcohol is illegal they got rid of just drinking in general right they
completely axed it out they were gonna sell beer there for the up until the last day before yeah
and it was gonna be like 90 for a beer and then the day before, they were like, nah, just kidding, no beer. Yeah, and then they made it so there's no publicly served alcohol,
but the FIFA officials will have their own stash and super wealthy guests.
Yeah, of course.
Oh, yeah.
So it's corrupt issue.
If you're rich, you're not walking out.
Yeah.
Okay, so what's the okay so that the punishment for breaking that
is six months in prison and a fine of 800 hours or more so the question is what's the maximum
punishment you'd be willing to take to supply the qatar afters um what uh what is the current
punishment if i was caught with like a bag on me a bag on you i don't
even think they have in here like in the u.s oh the punishment for a bag on you yeah in the u.s
yeah like do we know it because i'd say equal to that i'm willing to do that what is the punishment
for a bag you can really get if you just had like one yeah if i just had one bag on you i don't
think you which is supplying the after i think'd get a misdemeanor and a fine
yeah I don't think you'd get
than that
I don't think you'd go
to jail for that
that would be the most
I'm willing to take
do you go to jail for a bag
you might
a possession of
I think you'd have to have
over a certain amount
I don't think just possession
would get you
put in jail
I think it'd be like
enough to like sell
yeah you might get like
community service
for like 150 hours
or something
no I don't
know punishment for a bag bag one gram of cocaine is equivalent to something this is enough for the
state to bring felony charters penalties include 180 days to two years in state jail no way, bro
Bro, no fucking way. Yeah, I bet it is Oh for California here We go for a typical conviction like with no priors or anything maximum sentences up to one year in jail and probation
Or a combination of the two yeah, you'd get a misdemeanor in a hefty fine and community service for a first-time offender
I mean you could for sure beat it down. Yeah, yeah but that could you could get a year that's fucked up
so i guess i guess that then i guess a year i'd double it to supply the i'm no i'm saying you're
in qatar i know i know i'm saying that so i'm willing to bring cocaine to an afters here and
that means i'm willing to take one year in jail possibly
so if it was the afters in qatar give me a year if it's if if it's guaranteed that this is going
to be one of the more legendary after parties ever like it's a world cup after party yeah it's
down to take a year for a fucking yeah like the players that's not even that do i get messy and
ronaldo there yeah if there's yes i mean of course messy ronaldo yeah give me a year but you're
taking a punishment further than the punishment.
I understand.
I'm saying I'm willing to double it.
Oh, you're willing to double it as long as it's a fucking lit act. Yeah, or if it's a fucking ripper, I'll do a year.
Yeah, okay.
And it's three to one.
Yeah.
Yeah, and the ratio is good.
That's fair.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Three to one.
Yeah, you show up, it's all fucking dudes,
and you're like, I took a year in jail for this.
That's fair. The other one one was i let that rip so if you lived in qatar or i guess you don't even
have to so hypothetically what's something you'd never do again if you had to be sober every time
like a public activity like if you were in qatar
like if the qatar rules were here now Probably go to any sporting event at all.
Yeah.
Because it's objective. Half of the fun of doing that is getting some beers.
I'd almost be willing to say leaving the house.
Yeah.
I'm honestly willing to.
Because being at a party with a bunch of people would be extremely awkward if everyone was sober.
Yeah, I wouldn't.
The draw to get me out of the house is people are going to be drunk out there night
clubs are out night clubs are out oh I would never go to a night club bars don't exist
that's not even a place you could go I'd still go to festivals but I wouldn't go to a night club
festival would be tough too though but at least like that's fun like night clubs are objectively
I think I think an entire festival would not exist anymore you could go to a show
if you couldn't get drunk there's no way they're getting you out there for eight hours I think an entire festival would not exist anymore. You could go to a show.
If you couldn't get drunk, there's no way they're getting you out there for eight hours.
Yeah, you'd go for just a couple sets or something. Yeah, you'd go for like one set.
Wait, does alcohol rule the world?
Absolutely.
I mean, like I would still go to a concert.
I would not go to a nightclub.
Nope.
True.
What did people do?
Nightclub would be fucking miserable.
Oh my God.
They already are kind of miserable.
Nightclubs are pretty miserable. What are you looking at i don't think i would go to what did
you go to like a football game even or anything like that i already don't even do that yeah right
tv is way better i'd rather just watch it on tv yeah what are you looking at what people did during
the prohibition what for fun find a way to make alcohol yeah find a way to get their own alcohol
yeah so maybe i just there also was just nothing to do back then i i could guarantee you if it became illegal i would become
like a liquor dealer or zucky bergy yeah find a way to i'd find a way to supply oh you'd be that
you'd be the plug you'd be the i'd start making it or something that's fair i think any activity
that involves like a group a large group of people i'm out like i think that's how you
tolerate big that's how i tolerate anyone besides the people in this room
oh my god like it's not that i yeah it is it's not that i don't like it it's just way better that way
yeah i don't know it's just more fun i digress if we're alcoholics just move on yeah so qatar's
fuck don't go there all right straight into fan submissions and games all right so this question
comes from a girl that recently got ghosted um she's she's wondering what goes into a making a
girl dateable versus just a hookup i okay you have to i have to want to hang out with you for more than just sex i think i think
the big thing is not hooking up the first time you hang out uh no i don't think that matters
that doesn't matter to me that doesn't matter to me if i want to hang out with you
and there's no chance that we do have sex then that's that's about as good as it can get i'd say that's
a pro like that's that's a that's a number one requirement like if the only reason i want to
hang out with you is because we're gonna have sex then it's we're not gonna date oh yeah i mean if
you actually that's the whole premise way to break down the question okay yeah now for some insight okay um i think the morning
after test is just the number one thing if you like wake up and you're like oh my god get this
person the fuck out of here yeah okay so you're like okay this is probably not going to be someone
i want to date so it's definitely similar interests are a huge thing so like you have to you have to
break down like what you spend your free time doing it's like you have to have like netflix is like a huge portion of the
whole thing like you spend a lot of time watching shows i feel like you need at least some some
common ground there that you enjoy just gotta like your friends and work in the in your group i think
that that like you're skipping so many steps ahead though yeah like but that's deep you don't even find out about similar interests if you only hang out one time yeah like or not even hang out if you
just hooked up one time i mean does it say did she give us any kind of info as to how she got
ghosted or what their scenario was or it was just she got ghosted i think it was i forget the entire
context but yeah it was just like that i mean it's tough in today's day and age because
if you're trying to get laid like you will pretend to like stuff yeah but like if it happens to work
out where it's like you're talking like you have to have the same viewpoint ish kind of things yeah
like you like you could like different things but if you have the same general like i don't know morals maybe is it a good way to
put it i mean yeah there's just a lot of different factors that play into even wanting to pursue
hanging out the one other time yeah fuck this is actually a really hard question you gotta find
someone who's lonely i don't know desperate as fuck wait hold on let me let me think about this
entirely you gotta find someone who
also just got I think you guys are going to even too deep on this what even just gets you interested
enough to hang out the second one other time like just like there's girls that you hook up with and
then the next time you don't even consider ever texting them again you're like that girl wasn't
that cool um okay so this is where so there was that thing you said about how girls and guys
definitions of the funny thing how did oh yeah yeah so it's like guys define funny as they make
you or guys want a girl to be funny and they laugh at our jokes yeah and girls want the guy to be
funny yeah so guys in general i guess the the statistic was guys want girls to
think they're funny and girls want a guy that's funny but i would disagree with that i would say
if i think a girl's funny then i will pursue further yeah i think yes i think the first
thing that i noticed from a girl is is not if she laughs at my jokes because i'm an idiot
if she's actually funny and like adds to it and like fucking banters with you, like that's, that's, that's a big one.
Yeah.
They can like,
if they can like hang and like take roasts and roast you,
like I love that.
Oh,
flirt to roast ratio.
Definitely got to be up there.
And then like,
yeah,
like some of it's like fun,
like,
like actual like flirty shit.
And then some of it's like,
they're just shitting on you.
Yeah.
Fuck.
Yeah.
I mean,
I think,
I think it,
when it comes down to like a ghost situation,
like you just have to know that like like do people some people not know that
like there's just a lot of dry points in like hang like you know when you're hanging out with
someone that you know isn't like that kind of person and you're like there's a lot of dry points
but if that other person is like so into you that they don't notice it or like they want it so bad
that they look past that like you can't look past that stuff yeah i think that's a problem yeah you gotta be one-sided you'll like blind yourself by thinking the other
person's like because you're so like you've built them up to be this thing or you're so into them
that you don't notice like this they're not having that good of a time yeah yeah like or this isn't
that great like there isn't that much chemistry here but i really like them so i don't care yeah
self-awareness is huge for sure like you have to be able to
fuck I mean a lot a lot of people are about it there's just like reading
another person's reactions yeah I mean you just got to kind of be a it's hard
to even put into words it's like you got to be on the same level as the person
it's also hard exactly yeah we try to be nice guys so like maybe what are we i would just be are but yeah i think we are we're
objectively nice i would say so and funny so like even if a girl's kind of like a no even if a girl
is kind of like annoying or i'm not really interested in what they're talking about i guess
i might lead on that i'm still like listening yes this is where this is where it comes into
care about what they're talking about yeah in this day and age you have to be really good at reading people because there's so many like everyone's trying to save face all the
time like no one's going to be mean to you in public but i'm saying like even if i'm being
just the base level nice enough to where i'm not being a dick but i'm not really interested
but you should be able to pick up on that you should be able to notice that yeah like there
it'd be obvious if i was like sitting there like a fucking puppy dog like listening to every word
you'd be like okay this guy or actually engage in the conversation if like was like sitting there like a fucking puppy dog, like listening to every word, you'd be like, okay, this guy's actually engaged in the conversation.
If you like, you tell a story or a joke or whatever it is.
That's yeah.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
Like if I'm like, oh fuck, that's, that brings up something I was thinking about.
Yeah.
Like we had a real conversation.
We had a friend that would, we had a friend that would announce every time when they killed
the conversation.
Like when, you know, when you ask something and it's just like a very short answer.
Like that's the kind of stuff you have to be able to notice in order to not get ghosted.
So like you have to say something and the other person has to be equally as involved as you.
Yeah.
Does that make sense?
I think I guess for girls then what Morg said about not hooking up the first time would be key.
Oh, if you're a if
you're a girl and you want to and you're really interested in a guy definitely if you want to if
you want to be sure if you want if you want to be sure you need to have because they need more
they need more data yeah so if i hook up with if it's if you're gonna give it to me the first time
and i've only had to put in two hours of pretending you're not getting enough data
to know you're not getting because all that hours of pretending you're not getting enough data to
know you're not getting because all that as the girl she's not getting enough so yeah if you make
him hang out with you a couple times and then you notice like the second time he's like oh he's not
putting as much effort then he's just waiting he's just there to try and get it well because a guy
will go blind deaf and dumb after he gets after he hooks up with a girl that's a good i guess that's a good like i wouldn't rule a girl
out if we had sex or hooked up the first time but like uh how would they know how would they know
yeah yeah if you're a girl definitely i wouldn't rule them out but it might for them you don't
they don't know it wouldn't be because of that that i'd rule them out it would just be like oh
they sucked but yeah i would be i would say a safe bet is like four or five hangouts until you actually easy maybe well maybe not just straight
dates but like maybe we're hanging out with a group of people yeah yeah because like a motherfucker
could hold out for three like without even being that interested yeah that's fair yeah but like
four or five at that point it's like you yeah especially if you're not even like
amping it up a little bit like like on the on the basis scale like maybe like second when you kiss
because then he's like okay i'm making progress but then i would say a month but then again dude
i don't know a month i would say a month but i would say that's op that's in today's day and age
that's a tough call there's some guys that are so like either desperate or like just
strange so they will actually like this might even be a bigger leading on thing because they'll make
you think you're interested for five dates and then they finally get it and then you get ghosted
yeah well that's where you got to be good it was like not a not good sex or something but some guys
some guys will fake the fuck out of it but you have to be really good at reading people these
days i don't think there's a right answer i don't know yeah i don't know there's not okay first of all every time we get
a layer deeper i'm like fuck but then someone actually would just wait because then wait that
many times till they have sex and then ghost them every time we add something to it i run it through
that scenario in my head i'm like okay did that did that did that then the guy fucks her and he's
still just like nah i'm good yeah exactly yeah so it's like there's just okay okay here's where it gets
fucked up too okay it's like the norm in like dating it's like you don't want to ask somebody
exactly what they're looking for you don't want to get serious too quick because then it's kind
of like people back off so you don't want as a girl you don't want to be like what are you looking
for oh because then it feels like a weird fucking question you're like we but it's something you
really want to know because i'm just trying to hook up oh yeah no either way but you can't ask yeah it's fun i don't know it's like all things
full systems yeah it's like a reverse societal norm to like not bring up do we have this girl's
name um it's in my phone but i can't check well without the name do you ask the wrong people
i mean we okay in my experience i would say waiting to hook up for sure okay um
if from the girl's perspective like making sure you have a connection you might have to read a
fucking personal like research book on like human behavior to get that down maybe you have to do
some sort of like test like this is just every time we add something i think of something else
because then like waiting to hook up okay maybe like there was like some weird nervous tension the first time
so then you're like oh i wasn't even interested that interested in hanging out with them and we
didn't even hook up like i'm not gonna hang out with this girl again yeah like you don't even get
to like pursue like pursue it from a different angle i don't know this is tough it's tough okay
here's what i'll say all the times yeah and we leave it all this all the serious times i've talked to a girl they we haven't hooked up the first twice once which is once i mean so i'm that all the
serious one time yeah i mean i've only talked you mean one i've talked to like four or five
girls talk slash dated maybe four or five girls my entire life so that's what i'm saying they
ask the wrong people yeah collectively
we have what four relationships in this room i have two i have three you have two high school
don't even know that doesn't count i have one i mean i had two i have one one that trickled
into college one for a long time and then one that was short it's hard out there in the streets yeah i count one
another one of mine is a half honestly yeah yeah that's a tough fucking question good luck out
there good luck out there folks okay next one if you're fucking cool and funny yeah you'll probably
get another date hey there we go hey clap it up no i yeah we did it we did it if you're cool and
funny and i like you all day be cool and funny okay okay next question we could have really done that quick yeah well
i feel like that's that was a good segment no no we brought up some good no no we did it we
but we just circled around nothing the entire time but i feel like that's how most people are
thinking at a certain point yeah yeah that's how most people are really just depends on the specific
girl yeah and the specific guy. The next question was
how do you make friends as an adult if you don't drink?
That's a good question.
I've seen these people.
You join some weird fucking clubs.
You're in a
kickball league.
How are you making that kickball league
friends? You join the team
and then you just start hanging out. You free agent that kickball league friends you join the team and then you just start hanging out you free agent a kickball league yeah people oh my okay well okay fair don't
have that could work you don't have friends you got the free agents the whatever the first agent
life you're the free agent life you live that free yeah if you don't have friends and you need to
make friends as an adult you don't get to just like find a group of people that yeah without it
being an odd weird
ad.
I mean, that is a good idea because I would say like gym gym is incredibly awkward.
You're not making a friend at the gym.
Yeah.
And I was gonna say like the only time I've ever made friends in like a work setting is
if like you somehow go out and get drinks after because then you get the walls come
down a little bit.
Yeah.
Then they're because then they're like, oh, they're a co-worker.
I don't really know how much I want to divulge.
Like if they're cool enough to actually be friends with yeah, or maybe they'll fucking tell people at work well
I got that yeah, but if you're both drunk and you're just like they're just fucking drooling. I ate so many skittles
I've actually done this before let me think the only way to do it is whatever weird thing you like
Maybe it's kayaking you find a joyaking group there's a there's definitely a
facebook group that meets up on wednesdays and goes kayaking somewhere and you show up that day
and you're like hey i'm morgan i want to come kayaking and then you start talking to people
about kayaking because they're all weird and like that just sounds like the lamest group it does
i mean we're taking alcohol out of the equation it's gonna be boring no matter what yeah you go
to the not club club.
That's not a thing.
The kayak club.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you go to a different sort of club.
You go to the daytime activity club.
You go to a daytime activity club.
Yeah, you got to join like a cycling group or something really lame.
It's going to be exercise-based because those are the people that have the time to do that
because they're not hungry.
And also like, yeah, don't drink.
True.
Yeah, it's like very usually like fitness-based.
And it's going to be exactly like work friends are because it's like someone's like, say
you're 25.
There's going to be a 40-year-old.
There's going to be like a 19-year-old who's just really into kayaking.
It's going to be a really random.
It's going to be a weird, you guys don't have anything in common besides this thing that
you do, but those are your friends now.
Life be hella weird, dude.
Wow.
I didn't even think about how difficult that would be.
Yeah.
Because if one of us decided to go sober,
we'd still already have a big group of friends.
Here's another aspect of it.
Start drinking.
I've got the easiest fucking solution of all time.
Have a beer.
Start drinking.
Go to a fucking bar
and sit there and drink. He's back!
He's back, dude!
How did we fucking not think of that?
He's never left and he's back.
Ladies and gentlemen, Jonathan Marsh.
Oh my god.
Roll up to a fucking bar, sit down and start
ripping shit off of you.
You'll have some more fun conversations than the fucking
kayak club, I'll tell you that. Yeah, I act club is not it
I feel like we got a DJ's game or we're the way over time. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we want to get the game
Yeah, all right motherfuckers. So this is I don't know if it has a game. It's we're gonna
Morgan verse
Yeah, it's just a little
Quiz game little quiz game. A little quiz game. They have varying loss spice levels.
It's all spice.
So when we lose, we have to eat something at various levels.
We need to get our faces out for this.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The first one here is just, these are atomic fireballs.
Okay.
Okay, this is John's hot game.
These are John's hot.
Do you guys want to pick?
John's hot seat.
Do you guys want to pick the category you do first?
Okay.
So remember, you're going to have to write these down.
I don't know if you guys are okay with typing it out and then showing or whatever.
You guys want to accept the rules.
Yeah, I say just pull up a note thing.
Pull up a blank note.
Type out one answer.
Okay.
Okay.
The categories are sex ed, music, and movies.
What one do you guys want to start with?
Sex ed.
Sex ed.
Hold on.
Hold on.
And is this like a timed thing or how do we do it?
We'll just do whenever you guys have it.
Maybe like 30 seconds.
Okay.
They shouldn't take that long.
These aren't like incredibly hard.
What STD is commonly referred to as the clap?
You want to show them?
Chlamydia?
Chlamydia, yeah.
It's gonorrhea.
Well, let me see.
It's gonorrhea.
No, it's not.
You guys are both wrong.
Yes, it is.
No way.
Gonorrhea has been referred to as the clap since the 1500s. Really? Yep. Damn it. You both got it wrong
Okay, you guys getting points?
Okay, this next one
What name is given for the sexual fetish for cheating?
Like if they like to do it
It's a fetish for cheating.
Cuckold.
That is correct.
Yes, dude!
I put cuckold.
That's the same.
This comes down to the tiebreaker question.
Okay.
What percentage of people reported using a condom none of the time?
Is this real? This is it. This is us. time what percentage of people what year this was a 2019 study okay I've got an
answer none percent of the time none of the time so they are active though yes
all these people were active so we're. So for the tiebreaker ones whoever's closest
Okay, so I'll show you mine
40
66% Holy fuck. What'd you learn one that round? Holy fuck
That is fucked up never
That's actually absurd no wonder there's so many fucking STDs. Is that not fucking absolutely crazy? Okay, these are like cinnamon, right?
Those are, yeah, those are just, that's your classic.
They're not really, I don't love them.
Those aren't great.
It's a jawbreaker, so don't like bite it.
Just suck on it until the end of next round.
Okay.
So the next two are music.
I don't like this.
Yeah, no one likes it.
Music or movies?
Movies.
Sure.
Okay.
Oh, I don't like this at all.
Yeah.
It's like not good yeah Yeah, they're bad
Okay, hotter than I remember in the matrix okay does neo take the blue pill or the red pill?
Red pill he does that is correct both got that one right go dude. Okay. Fuck. This is uncomfortable. Okay. This is even spicy
It's just annoying what?
No, no water
You're not if you're taking water now you're fucked
What is the title of the eighth Fast and Furious movie? Oh my god
Fuck you fast eight
The fate of the furious oh fate with an eight okay then this one comes down to the tiebreaker question when is the rock's birthday oh closest
date closest date oh come on fuck why would anyone know this i didn't think you would but
it'll be fun it's you, you got to do some deduction here
What's the rockiest month? The rockiest month? He's probably born on Christmas or something crazy
It's really gonna be can you get the year because I don't think that's gonna come down to months
Oh, yeah
Oh, fuck this. There's so many factors.
Yeah. It's a tiebreaker question. You guys could have just got one right.
You don't know the fate of the furious.
Okay.
January 1st, 1978.
78 and you put 68?
He's closer. It's May 2nd, 72.
Yes.
Really?
I have to do the mega guy?
Yeah, you can take that out.
This, for the viewers here, is the little Nitro, the world's hottest gummy bear.
You gotta chew that fucker up, too.
Yeah, you gotta chew. I need to see it chewed in your mouth.
How about chew it the whole time until the next fucking thing?
Okay.
That would be tough.
Okay.
How is it?
Go.
This is the last category.
Okay, you want to say what the punishment is for this one first?
Oh, yeah, sorry.
The punishment for this one is... The Pacwee One Chip Challenge,
Carolina Reaper and Scorpion Pepper.
There's a scorpion pepper now?
I'm going to read the label for this one it says warning do not eat if you are sensitive to spicy foods allergic to
peppers nightshades or capsicum or if you are pregnant or if you have any medical condition
i'm pregnant keep out of reach of children after touching the chip wash your hands with soap and do not touch your eyes or other sensitive areas
Seek medical assistance should you experience difficulty breathing?
Fainting or extended nausea, it's that fucked up. It's just the warning
It's just a little spicy chip. There's people like pass out from this. Okay. Well, don't lose
This is music. You guys should be good at this. Okay? Oh
This is music. You guys should be good at this.
Okay.
Oh, god damn it. Which band, group, or artist is credited as the best-selling worldwide all-time?
Hold up.
Okay, that's pretty good.
I'll allow a swallow.
How are you feeling?
I'm bodybagging this.
Okay.
Read the question again.
Best-selling worldwide all-time.
Which band, group, or artist is credited as the best-selling worldwide all time
record sales best selling oh fuck is it that hot
hold on i didn't even think about how unfair this is if he's that He's crying! Am I allowed to get water?
No! We gotta get through the round, dude!
For those listening, Morgan, only listening, Morgan looks so fucking visibly uncomfortable.
Okay, okay, okay.
Okay, you got yours?
Yeah, I mean, I don't think this is right, but...
Hold on.
It's not.
I think I... The Jonas Brothers brothers are you fucking serious it's
the beatles i see okay i thought it was gonna be michael jackson drake is the most streams of all
time but who did dua lipa collaborate with on her 2018 single one kiss that won that went on to win the 2019 Brit Award for Song of the
Year. I already got it. Okay.
Morgan? You can't think at all.
Sid DaBaby?
Calvin Harris!
Calvin Harris.
Oh, God.
Okay, so you are
this, okay, well, I don't know if we do
the tiebreaker question. Yeah, it's 1-0.
Okay, so we'll do the tiebreaker and then I'll have to I maybe I'll have to come up with another one wait
No, no, I won technically one. No, it could tie. Okay. Well, we could there's one question left. Yeah
How many Grammys does the most winningest person hold? Oh
This nominations or wins wins wins wins wins
seven
31 is the right answer
31? I got 30
Yes dude!
Go get some water
Go get some water
Okay Morg so
Do you want me to give you
It has a what to expect section on here
With 5 rounds. Do you want to know those before
Or do you want to go through them and then I'll tell you as they're happening
There's no way. He's blacked out.
He's literally blacked out. He's crying.
What?
We can't finish the show.
We're finished. We're gonna be fine.
We'll- we'll- we'll- we'll handle the stuff. Don't worry.
You're gonna be fine.
Yeah, that's part of the... You agreed to this.
This is so great.
Dude, look at him.
You might as well just get it over with.
Yeah, I don't know why you're putting it...
It's going to be worse.
You're going to prolong.
This is spicier.
You're going to pro...
This is way spicier.
Look at him.
You're going to prolong the amount of time you're uncomfortable.
Here's how I want to put it so that you'll understand.
You have to do it.
So you might as well just do it.
And I'll go refill the stuff for you.
You're going to prolong how much pain you're in.
No, I'm going to have a heart attack.
It's just spicy.
Mine never matter.
Put your hand out.
I've never seen him crumble this hard before.
Whatever you do, don't touch it.
Remember, wait, can we run it back to embody?
Embody this.
Oh, you really wish you didn't lose this one.
I'm going to have a heart attack.
Well, let's make sure you do.
Come on.
Put your hand out.
Wait, is he actually in medical danger with adding this into the mix? No, he's going to be fine. Because this one's fucked up. Let's make sure you do come on Take put your hand out
How did you not know that the Calvin Harris one was a layup
You get fucking sabotaged. Oh dude. That bear's kicking.
I fucking did. Mark, trust me, you want to get started.
You want to get this over with.
Wait, read off the steps as he's going through them.
Okay, I'll read off the steps.
No, you're not waving it off, dude.
I hate to do this to you, but you can't.
You can't. If it was anyone else
in the room, what would you do? You'd be like, fuck you
bitch, do it. Yeah. If this was me, you'd be like
no, fuck that. Just do it. If this was me, you'd be like, no, fuck that.
Just do it. Read your steps!
Alright.
So it has a what to expect.
And there's five rounds.
The first round is a spicy punch.
The second round
is the scorpion sting.
Then round three is where it gets not great.
That's where it's called the
vision disruptor and then round four is the gut the guts and round five it just says roasted
i'm already in the gut slash well you're gonna then get this started you don't want to have
different attention i'll do it but not right now you're gonna do it, but not right now. You're gonna do it. You need to back up
Do you remember when Britain the girls he just swallowed he was completely fine. She just swallowed. Oh, yeah
I swear none of those guys were in this much
Loki bits
much fucking pain.
Look at him.
Yeah, you're being a low-key bit.
Look at him.
Finish the show.
You are so fucked.
We're going to finish it with this.
Okay.
Then what's the point of you doing this if it's not on the show? Yeah, if it's not on air.
Okay, let's wrap the show up and then people can stick around and watch him die if they
want.
Okay, okay.
All right, guys.
Before we go, if you want to see me die eating the hottest chip in the world, then make sure
to go check out the video portion on YouTube.
Also, we're doing
Manscaped giveaways every week up until Christmas. So follow us on Instagram at
nofomopodcast underscore to win some of that free stuff. We'll see you guys next week. Peace.