NO FOMO - 45. Episode Whatever With Your Sleep Paralysis Demons

Episode Date: June 17, 2023

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Is it actually the summer solstice? When does summer start? Um, summer starts like the 20-something. It's the lunar. We're close, though? Yeah. Because we, uh, yeah, we did just go ahead and get prepped for it early. We got some fucking hot summer fits, baby. We've got a sponsored fit. Yeah, we have.

Move the tits, dude. Oh, move the tits? No tits? We've got a sponsored fit. Oh, I'll just go fucking full Bud Light. We got Morgie in the Bud Light fucking NBA warm-up jumper. Your man's favorite outfit, the Bud Light fit. Does it look good? Johnny in the Casamigos Miami kingpin quarter zip.

And I'm rocking a full fucking one-piece twisted tee. A whole fucking onesie, a twisted tee onesie. It's lit. A twisted tee romper. Dude, I'm like, yeah, it's me. I love this. How we doing, gentlemen? I feel electric in this thing. I feel like I can conquer the world. Yeah, yeah, it's me. I love this. How we doing, gentlemen? I feel electric in this thing.

I feel like I can conquer the world. Yeah, it does look very good. It feels wrong not drinking a twist of tea in it, I'll tell you that. Yeah. If we're seeking sponsorship and I'm not drinking one, what's going on? Yeah, you can't have nice, nice, nice. Just to let them know. I know the executives are watching, of course.

Greg and Steve. I drink more twisted tea than anyone on the planet. No. What do you mean? How do you drink more than I do? Come on. You think that's fair? Dude, you built like a fucking seven-year-old.

Every time we get a 12-pack, it should be a 4-4-4 split. He has eight. It's an 8-2-2. We know this. Okay, but you drink less often. Yeah, if we make up for it. See, I would still argue I'm a better sponsorship deal. Why?

This is a... It's for all of us. It's not... Why are you trying to single anyone out here? I'm going to hide that email if it comes. That's what i'm saying well i'm changing email we can all be sponsored we could you're you have a great sponsorship but like feels right you're correctly sponsored suits you perfectly yeah but there's stocks in a tank even harder after people see this shit no it's gonna's going to be full of... Get ready for another dip. We shorted the fuck out of him before we put Morgan on camera

and that thing. What episode is this? This is 45. It's irrelevant at this point, dude. Episode 45. If you clicked on the episode, you saw the name. It's in title.

That's true. Keep up. I'm sick of bringing this up. Keep up or get up. Keep it up or fuck off. Well, welcome back to... Welcome back. Episode whatever

with your sleep paralysis demons. Yep. Wait, what was that? What did you send me the other day? The sleep paralysis? What did I say? I said something and you're like, you're literally living sleep paralysis. Oh, I thought we all were.

Garrett is a sleep paralysis demon. I did something just blasphemous. He is my sleep paralysis demon. You did something blasphemous? That's insane. It's not news. It was something specific to this week that I did, and I can't remember what it was. Usually people are like, wow, you guys go out a lot.

And I'm like, it's Garrett. Didn't you go out last night? You went to park last night, you slippery little dog. No, I didn't. Yeah, you did. Did you park out? Are you high? You went somewhere that wasn't here, and it was on top of park or under it.

No, Katie's staying over at Luke's place over there. Was it a park over there? Huh? Their park is underneath it. Okay. Okay. So, okay. Fair enough.

I saw that, and I was like, this guy just can't be stopped. He's in. No, I was not. I don't even know if it's open on a Wednesday. No. Or Thursday? It might have been, but I wasn't there. Okay.

Okay. We'll give you this round. I been, but I wasn't there. Okay, okay. We'll give you this round. I went to bed at a reasonable hour. Sleep paralysis demon. I like that for you. Yeah. Still woke up at 11. Doesn't let anyone else

go to sleep, but he'll go to sleep. Yeah. What does that mean? You're a demon. Okay. Yeah, I mean, I have to go to sleep

so that I can haunt you in your sleep. Yes. That's the only time. Yeah, you get me in my dreams. It's part of my transcendent process. What is that?

Is that Freddy or Jason? It's Garrett. It's Garrett. it's gary it's gary you are the type of motherfucker to watch somebody sleep though no if you that was a weird phase in college i stopped doing that a long time dude if you put your arms up like this and sit in the corner i'd be like is it a person or is it or is that my hoodie is that my damp hoodie or is that a person who's wearing an extra small hoodie in the fucking corner? That is a youth medium all right, what is this episode? I was feeling so spectacular in this twisty outfit. You didn't want to say the number so we had to go off It's the episode 45. Let's fucking jive Every odd episode is a fucker it episode

What every single one is a fuck you episode? No, just the evens. Okay. Yeah. And John just slips away like... Prime numbers. Prime numbers. I feel good today, dude. Yeah, you look good.

Yeah, you look good. Took a couple days off the Milli Vanillis. I'm on the Milli Vanillis, dude. Bro, you're back on? I'm back on the Milli... You can't be doing them every day. It's not good for you. No, yeah, every other.

Yeah. You're lucky that I had somewhere to go because you not being here two nights in a row, I was about to lose my shit, bro. Dude, I got a little sicky with it, and I had to fucking... Yeah, you got a little... I had to get well-rested and shit.

You were probably just jonesing. Jonesing? Yeah, you were probably just, like, fucking coming off that Adderall streak. Yeah, you were probably on withdrawals. You weren't sick. Oh, yeah, that's minor withdrawals. I didn't have the sniffles or a sore throat or anything,

but my body was going to break in half. The only thing that's going through my mind is the only thing we're not allowed to talk about. God damn it. Why can't I think of it? Oh, come on. Think of the only thing we can't talk about. Legally.

You are so fucking dumb. You're a fucking ape. Damn. The most exciting thing happening in your life right now. Oh, yeah. Jesus Christ. My bad, my bad. My life is so exciting that I don't know.

No, it's really not. You're like, huh, what could it be? I was gonna sit in my room all day. I was gonna sit in the dark today and edit videos. Hmm, couldn't be that. It's not that. Yeah, sometimes when people ask me how my day was, I like try to keep a small list of things to say so it doesn't sound like, oh the bullshit.

You keep a list of things to tell people? A of lies well no like i'll keep like a like highlights of the week kind of thing because my days are fucking it no it's i would literally like our lives we we try to not say all the like redundant shit that we do because yeah it's like okay yeah we went out this weekend but we do probably come off really boring because we don't even talk about that anymore because it's so just like it's just not even cool it's on it's on repeat and other than that we don't do anything yeah it's just be dark our life has just been on a loop it's kind of like the last few seasons of like friends or something like it's the same yeah it's the same but i did fix my diffuser so that's like a highlight that's huge yeah fucking i pot over it got all the info out it got stuck and i

just fucking mashed it on the table. That's nice. And the fucking top came off. We got haircuts. Oh, we got haircuts, dude? That was exciting. That's huge. Morg got a bad one. Dude, I think mine's strong.

Where are you going these days, man? Why don't you just come with me? Dude, Floyd's. It costs a little bit extra, but... Floyd's, dude. Your boy Floyd is riffing up your dome. If I need same day... If it's a chain, I'm not going there.

Dude, if it's same day, I'm hitting... If it's not a chain, Morg's not going. That's same day I'm not a chain morgues not going that's true Yeah, it was a king of the soup if it doesn't have super in the first word or cuts in the last My place they give you free beer Hot towel little head massage. Oh, yeah, I get a lot free. I guess it's a lot more, but I get free fear at Floyd's You get sweating up until the moment she turns that shit around and you look in the

mirror. I can't handle that. That's why I'm willing to pay a little bit more because I can't deal with that. The turnaround. I can't deal with

going somewhere where I've never met this person and it's like a, you know, it's a mid level priced haircut. I just can't trust you. No, especially I don't

actually know if it's worse if you get to watch it happen or if they do the reveal. That's what I was just going to say. If it's a chain, you're for sure not facing the mirror yeah i noticed when i started going to a nicer place that they don't turn you around they let you watch what they're

doing oh yeah 100 no there's a mirror on both sides there's a mirror on both sides of you well because if you when they turn you around you can't see that their fucking hands are shaking like mine that's true i feel like it's the opposite though usually when i go to like a shitty place i watch i'm watching it happen to me i've never experienced this and this is off the record off on the record i don't think i've ever had like a really attractive girl cut my hair before like really attractive oh are you worried that your barber's gonna no no but no but my the new girl that i've been going to is really attractive and when she's like standing in front of me i don't know where to look bro i like no shit. She was wearing like a crop top with like a like a like a jacket over it What do you mean you don't know where to look?

You know where you want to look. I literally like I was like It was just right here, so I Just I closed my eyes And I started like looking she's like can you turn your head straight for me? I was like yep Yeah, yes mom so straight. I was freaking freaking out. I don't know what the fuck I don't know what to do can you stop making that I got some going to her dude the most alarming part of my haircut Was I get there and I was like yeah, what's up dude like how's it going and he's like? It's going oh, he's gonna fucking rape me dude. He's having a bad day. He's like fuck this yeah, Jesus Christ

What the fuck was I just gonna say though? Something stupid. Oh it was the usual dumb it was something i fixed my diffuser yeah dude that's that's a highlight for me hey let the kid cook that's all he's got let him cook he's dude i'm big on chef morgardy his biggest night of the week is when he goes and sleeps over at macy's it's peaceful over there he's like well i need to get out of the house it's not peaceful here this is a this is a tranquility no you live here and i don't know if you're fucking in my room or not i've never i've been through that window frequently while you're asleep do you no i mean i have john's done it once i've done it once yeah it's kind of funny yeah morgan has like morgan doesn't

have any windows in his room because his room's on like the interior of the of the place and he has just a window that goes out into the window like a airplane window yeah it's like it's like at the top of the ceiling it just lets a little bit of light yeah it's eight feet he does his best to block it out that's purely for fire code yeah it's gotta be like no function what is the function of that i think you have to you are legally you have to have a window in a in a bedroom how do you know that called a bedroom a firefighter i don't think that's huh no that's 100 true i think that's just because i'm a real estate agent dude there'd be no light there'd be no light you forget this there would be zero light in that room if it didn't have a window yeah yeah that's why it's yeah you have to have a window though or else

it's considered a closet oh that's yeah it pretty much is that's why i guess the window makes sense windows big it's huge what else happened that we got that thing behind your head there oh yeah why don't you guys chat that up dude oh yeah media based yeah we've never talked about number one worst record yeah so i don't even know if half the people know they probably don't yeah well yeah if you don't know this at all which you shouldn't we we are music producers morgan and i john's are uh groupie i'm the music producer you guys play the music yeah yeah if If we have some new listeners that only know the show, Morgan and I have a group called FOMO.

We had a record that came out at the end of last year that went number one on dance radio and number two on billboard dance. We just got some sick plaques in. If you're watching, you can see the one behind Morgan's dome piece. The other ones are number 8, 20, and 35. They put the number one up. No. The other ones are number 8, 20, and 35, so they put the number 1 up.

No. Just straight to 1. Just straight to 1. The other one says number 2. I'd get up and get it, but I don't want to mess up Morgan's little mic setup here. Call yourself out. Okay, shut up.

He encourages us to talk about it just so he can roast us. Fuck you, John. Where's yours at, John? Dude, I've got so many number 1s up in my room. It's stupid. It's wall to wall. Top asshole of all time. Top piece of shit. Top in my room. It's stupid. It's wall to wall. Top asshole.

Number one. Top piece of shit. Top piece of shit. Top dumper. Biggest wagon. All right. So is that recapped up? I don't have anything.

I don't know. What else? You weren't even here last weekend, huh? No, I had to go home. We hung out with our buddy Freakon Vinny, the man. We watched a fucking massive brawl happen outside the window. That was pretty epic. Oh, yeah.

It was like we were sitting here watching a movie, and there's always screaming downtown, always screaming. But it went like a minute longer than it usually does. A minute. So I got up, and I was like, what the fuck's going on? And there's literally 20 people fighting, like girls punching guys, guys punching girls, girls punching girls.

No guys punching guys. Yeah. It was a sex war guys punching guys yeah it was an inner it was a sex rape um sex war a sex war but there was when i when i first got like someone that was already asleep on the floor i was convinced they were dead because people were just tripping over them and they were just limp and then i didn't start filming until like four minutes later and there's still like 10 people going at it dude people were getting slapped in the video it was good stuff i heard them it's like 3 a.m i'm like what the fuck are they screaming about out there i get out there they're just like that was the highlight of it yeah for sure that was good shit we had a perfect bird's eye view of it do you want to go or you want um yeah this is

uh an interesting thing that i stumbled across um the title is drug sniffing bees okay oh now you have my curiosity so obviously we've got drug sniffing dogs and whatnot they've trained bees uh nice love that um summer dude this is how they this is a crazy process i'm gonna go through it step by step with you so they train the bees by giving them the smell of the bombs or whatever shit chemicals bomb drug drug? Bomb and drugs. The bees are then rewarded with a bit of sugar. So they then are trained to stick their tongue out to receive the sugar when they smell the smell. Bees have tongues?

How? They have little... That's cute. That they slurp out some sugar. It's more like a dick nose thing, but it has a tongue on it. Yes. So then the bees...

That's not cute. The bees that pass this training process are then loaded into what look like cute the bees that pass this training process are then loaded into what look like little gun cartridges that hold them and then that gun cartridge is loaded into a fancy vacuum okay so then they stick the vacuum in a bag and it's smells up all the smell and then they have sensors in these cartridges that see if the bee sticks their tongue out if they smell the stuff there's no way this yes this is real and so they're loaded in the gun vacuum they vacuum up the smell so they'll just stick it in people's

bags at the airport and they stick their little tongues out and the sensors give a fucking boop and then that's though it's the craziest looking thing you've ever seen your life that's absurd wait so in court they're explaining that and I and the jury's supposed to be like, okay. Well, in court, they find a bomb. Yeah. No, but, okay, so say it's like an eighth of weed or something. No, no, it's for bombs only, not drugs.

I'm sure it could do drugs if it has bombs. Yeah, they can do drugs. Yeah, but they're more concerned with the bombs. I'm just, here's my thing. Why did they decide bees? I don't know how that would cross my mind. Because they love sugar you're you're coming up with it they're like well dogs are too much dogs are too big we got to find

a smaller animal well think about you could have a hundred bees to one dog by size how many different animals did they like try before that's what i'm saying they didn't try like rats or like they had to have um hummingbird i don't fucking know no rats are committed to cocaine committed yeah they're just their team cocaine yeah they're big they're big on wait what did I hear the other day if you put mice or rats or whatever in like a open forest they'll and you put a bunch of wheels in there they'll fucking still run in the wheels did you know that wait like like you know how they love running in the wheels in a cage? Hamster wheel type? Yeah, the hamsters.

So if you put them in the wild and you just put wheels out there, they'll fucking just go to the wheels and fucking still hang out in the wheels. Really? Isn't that crazy? How did they... Why? Why? Why do they need to know that?

Well, I guess it's just... There's like a comparison to human beings. So it's just like... We need to reel in these fucking studies because they got funding for that someone crowdfunded or got us oh no that was probably government funding they government funded that like sixty thousand dollars to go out get cameras wheels let some rats out in a forest or someone just spent a hundred dollars doing it that's true i don't know if it was sixty thousand that seemed a little aggressive.

Dude, some of these studies, you see like they just get released a fucking shit ton of money to like see what bird's wings flaps sound like. Oh yeah, there's some dumb ass shit going on out there. What do they sound like? Well, if it's a barn owl, nothing. Let's do some experiments this summer. Let's have a productive summer.

Let's see what the most... Summer of science. Let's see the most addicting alcoholic beverage to like a fucking... Something humane. A human man. Something humane. Yeah.

Let's lock each other in here and just put booze in here and just see what she gets to finish first. Let's do some experiments on ourselves. I was going to say, I have plenty of experiments I'm willing to do this summer. Yeah.

It's going to involve us. Yeah. I'm willing to test myself we'll conjure some shit up but scientifically the data might be skewed it would be because we'd be self reporting and we'd be fucked up so if you're a scientist

hit us up you can be the fourth member we'll have like a science what do you call it not like a liaison we'll just have like a little science guy that comes on the show with us a little lab lad that comes on the show with us. Little lab man. Little lab lad.

Should we sign ourselves up for a study? Like an actual study? Like maybe each of us does a different one? That's what this whole podcast is. What kind of studies? I don't know, like some random... Like a drug trial or something? Like a drug trial, yeah.

A clinical drug trial? Something like really gnarly too. Anything but male birth control. I'd sign up for that. that see that's one I would do because then you get to test it what if you get the placebo well and you're just trying

my dick got way bigger so you're on the placebo I guess they probably don't test the efficiency in the manner that we're thinking they probably just

not with who you'd want them to test it with in that manner there's no the women that are signing them for that test or not the ones you want now you probably it's probably all dudes They probably probably just go into a cup and they just look at the count, you know Mmm, I was thinking you just got to go out there and figure it out. But yeah, it's probably not like that It's probably not which would be a blast, but we're still gonna we're still gonna go all in on that experiment Which would be a blast, but we're still going to go all in on that experiment.

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All right, all right. This isn't funny, but it made me laugh okay oh so there we go we really there's not preface that i have to got something funny too it's not funny no this it's funny but like the content of it is it's not a funny thing so it's not funny for legal reasons it's not yeah this isn't funny so um god connor mcgregor denies sexually assaulting woman at nba game did you guys I did see this? Okay, so This is the same night. He knocked out the fucking mascot. Yeah night, you know that so that was supposed to be a skit But he just actually beat the shit out of him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, cuz I thought it was like

I didn't think he just walked out on the court and knocked him out. Yeah. Yeah Okay, so The story goes allegedly that the unnamed woman was trapped inside the men's bathroom by security before the mma fighter appeared aggressively kissed her and tried to force her into multiple acts fucked up if true but i thought the funny part was she said the wait how does it go oh no so it says in the article the woman repeatedly repeatedly elbowed Conor McGregor and was able to escape. That's where you lose me. Cut the whole thing. Holy.

Is that not fair? That's horrific. It's fair, but you can't say that. Why not? Okay. Okay. That's bad. I'm happy you brought it up.

If he gets who you got. Get her in the MMA is what you're trying to say. Yes. If true, get her. Yeah. Well, you're trying to say yes if true get her get her in the deal well yeah I mean if sign her up for Amanda Nunez versus this woman

there have to be some pretty powerful bows yeah I mean if he gets any one of us it's game over I regardless if we cut this or not it will be

do I have to cut this I don't think we have to okay we'll roll with it we're on the right we're on the right side of here we're on the right side of here but like

at the game I just don't see how this is feasible. So in this scenario, the security guards were in on it and trapped her for him? Yeah, in the bathroom. Which I don't see. His wife was at the game with him. Probably. We don't know that. No, I do.

I've seen pictures of him courtside. The picture that they showed of this news article is him sitting courtside with his wife. Okay. So none of this news article is him sitting courtside with his wife. Okay. So none of this maps out, really. Yeah. I mean, if true, horrible. But I'm not buying it. I'll let the judge be the judge.

Yeah, I'm not. If I was on the jury, I'd be skeptical. I'd be skeptical. Fair. Do you think we have to cut that? No. I think us asking if we have to cut it shows that our heart's in the right place. Yeah. You know what yeah yeah i mean yeah we're in the right spot our hearts in the

right spot um this is a little nugget that i thought of the other day when i was trying to do this um how fucking pure are naps when your boys are taking a little nap but why does it piss you the fuck off when they're taking a nap oh like it's so because there is a moment where you're looking at your boy he's so peaceful like he's just nuked out there's a moment of rage and then as soon as you realize you're not getting to do that i want to fuck him well yeah when me and you were napping the other day morgan came out here ready to beat the shit out of yeah he's just being loud slamming shit yeah well because i swear everybody when they nap they're they're smiling a little bit yeah you do have

that right well because you know it feels wrong yeah it feels wrong like you know you're being bad that's why they're so good that's why they're so good they're kind of it bit. Yeah, you do have that little smile. Well, because you know it feels wrong. Yeah. It feels wrong. Like, you know you're being bad. That's why they're so good. That's why they're so good. They're kind of a... It's like this defiant... It's a taboo sleep. This little defiant act.

Yeah, it's a taboo type of... Like, ooh, everyone's working right now. What if I were to just sleep? What if I was just nuked out on a Wednesday at noon? What if I was just asleep? Dude, nap time should be in everyone's schedule. Because that just, first of all, sounds good. I don't need them too often.

Like, usually Mondays is a big nap day. If we have like a big weekend. I haven't taken a nap in forever. Normal days, I don't need them too often. Usually Mondays is a big nap day if we have a big weekend. I haven't taken a nap in five years. Normal days, I don't really. Dude, do you nap every- Shut the fuck up. I've seen 30 pictures of you sleeping on this couch. That's sleep. One in the afternoon, it's no longer sleep.

So I took a nap for 12 hours? If the sun's out, it's a nap. You literally napped Sunday after you woke up. No, I was just making you think I was asleep. You've taken naps. Okay, if anyone took as much Adderall as you, yes, they probably wouldn't need to nap either.

Okay, well, there we go. I think I do need a little, there's some sort of therapy needed in that though where I get angry. I don't know why I get angry. When you see someone napping? Yeah, like when, it's because I'm very happy for them for like 10 seconds like i look at them and it's just so pure they're just pure sleepy little counting sheep being and then all of a sudden i'm like what the fuck are you sleeping what the fuck are you doing who do you think you fuck i think i think it's it's one why if i'm here why are you sleeping not hanging out with me two why am i not

napping with you it's like one or the other how come you didn't bring me with neither of those then i'm mad so it's maybe it's kind of a fomo situation yeah yeah fear of missing the tie-in the tie-in i love missing out on a nap trying to think of what else kind of gives you that same feeling oh like anything that makes my friends happy yeah if i'm not involved in it anything that brings them joy yeah you come back and you just say you had the best time doing something without me fuck off yeah no yeah if like you like we like laugh at the story and then because you're like oh that was funny that was cool and then you're like wait a second fuck if you like went home early and then turns out your boys went to like the sickest after party of all time I'm like well fucking kill me yeah that does suck or like oh this is a good

one like if you're if someone else is looking for parking and you're just you're behind them you're like and they get those each no like you want them you like you don't want to be patient and then every time you're doing it you're like come on fuck you motherfucker okay no here's the thing though i have never and will never do the thing where you're sitting there waiting for someone to pull out yeah that's not like when at costco when people are like loading up the back of their car and people just park right there and wait, like, 10 minutes, like, you will find a spot faster driving around. That's fair, but Costco does get pretty packed. I can kind of back it up there.

You got to know the secrets. Most places, no. See, I'll just go for the back every time. Yeah. Like, the back. You can walk. Left corner over there? No, I'll go for the furthest back thing I see.

Oh, yeah. I don't think it's worth the time. It is for me. I don't like to walk. That's your classic dadness coming out of you already, just grabbing a spot 30 miles away. The worst part is I've watched him pull into a parking lot at the front. There's plenty of spots, and he'll still drive to the back.

I'm like, what are you doing? I don't want somebody to cut me off. You got to get your steps in, says some dad shit like that. Yeah, right. Just walk fast, dude. You'll be able to work off the meal we're about to have. I was thinking about grabbing a slice of dollars off. They have great deals here. Costco does hit, though. I fucking thinking about grabbing a slice of dollars off. They have great deals here.

Costco does hit, though. I fucking hate that place more than anything on Earth. Yeah, the people in there. The people in there are just fucking woated, bro. I just don't like browsers.

I don't... Actually, no. Fuck. It's not Costco. Fuck everybody. Every time I go to a grocery store, any time I go to a Target,

I'm just like, no. Fuck all of you. Can't stand them. Why are you here? Shouldn't you be at work? Go home. Order it.

Order it. Yeah. Okay, what do you got? Slipdick? Slippery cock? Let's see what I got here. The buttest of light? Buddy light.

That's what they're calling you. Pal light. Some of these fan submissions are actually pretty good. I have actually a couple good fan submissions as well. You want to go or you want me to go? I do like... This first one's quick. Let's get it out of the way.

Carbonation's good in drinks. Is it though? Some drinks. Why isn't it in some foods? Like carbonated soup oh i don't i i am coming from a place of i don't really like carbonation and drinks would you like soup if it was carbonated i don't like soup to begin with what do you what do you mean what don't fuck with soup what does that even mean that's a lie you've how many times have i watched you get a soup and go fuck soup okay how many times have i gotten a soup too many times how many times have you watched us eat

and you're like fuck food yeah that's true you just don't like food come on dude no soup no it's like if i'm gonna eat i don't want to slurp up some hot bullshit that i takes me an hour to fuck dude first of all it's relaxing it smells good if i want opens up your sinus i want relaxation i'm not looking for a soup i I'm going to fucking beat off. I think everyone hates you right now. Yeah, you're wrong. Soup's whack. I think the listeners might hate you right now.

What about soup? It's like, I'll just have a nice drink. But it's alcohol. No, I don't like hot liquids in general. I don't like hot coffee. I don't like hot soup. It's painful to fucking consume. I'll allow it, I guess.

I like pho, but I don't like the soup part. I to fucking consume i'll allow it i guess i like pho but i don't like the soup part i just like the noodles and shit i would just argue that okay what do you want fucking cheddar broccoli soup like you know okay no you pick the worst yeah they're all right they're all bad what do you eat when you're sick you don't chicken noodle down i don't get sick i'm a fucking robot oh my you were sick for like a year last year on the podcast all first 40 episodes that was from cocaine my sinuses were caving in on themselves but okay okay better question is why the fuck does carbonation exist at all uh it's bubbly shit dude like was was it people were drinking water and they're getting bored yeah is it supposed like the process is just even interesting like how did you even come up with doing that? That's a good question. Scientist shit?

I don't know. No, I'm just like, for what purpose? Well, dude, think about it. You're in the drink game. You've got to spice it up. That's true. Yeah. That guy at Corner Office.

I mean, because soda without carbonation is literally just sugar water. Yep. So they had to spice it up. But a lemonade goes hard. Why did we need to top that? I mean, lemonade, yeah. I always would get a lemonade over a soda. I guess without carbonation, there would be no Baja Blast, and therefore. I'm thankful. I'm grateful for that. Yes carbonation. Just cover up how shit soda tastes

Have you ever had a flat soda? It's literally just first of all I've drank a flat Baja blast plain time still ribs, okay? Baja, but it's like yeah, that's also not fair. Yeah, okay. It's built a flat coca-cola fuck off Yeah, Coca-Cola in general, but flat, no. Because it's literally just syrup and water if it's not carbonated. So it kind of. Okay. Well, let me swing it this way. What if it was like carbonated like spaghetti?

Like the sauce, like a carbonated ketchup. I feel like the carbonation for food is just like spice. Food carbonation is spice? That's such an interesting observation. I mean, it's like the X factor, you know? Okay, if spaghetti had carbonation. Just a little Pop Rocks in there sort of deal. I can fuck with that.

I don't know. Food people out there, run with it. I think I've seen some fancy restaurant makes like Pop Rocks, but it's not like candy flavored. They like use it as like a topping but maybe it was in the menu i think it was in the menu that movie wait so they put on some like they they have some weird little machine that puts on these little like pop rock like salt crystals yeah okay now that sounds pretty good yeah that's lit poppy salt crystals so we found a middle ground yeah we

did poppy salt i don't know if those are real but it's in the movie i'd imagine they're real to be honest it's got to be okay um okay this one was pretty interesting what's the worst movie or type of movie to put on during netflix and netflix and chill netflix and kill worst type of movie to put on um like a i don't know i don't know. I don't know. I know the best ones. Yours might be the worst one. I don't know why that's your go-to. Shrek is wholesome, dude. That's, hey, now, you're an awesome. No, I think that might be the worst one, but that's Jay's number one, so. I mean, I think an easy one is just an action movie, right?

Would be the worst type? Anything with machine guns or girls looking at that, she's like, I'm out, dude. Yeah, I think I was gonna, I was initially gonna say like some cheesy action i would think even though i do shrek like a because that's not it's a kid's movie but it's not like a kid's movie i would say like a kid's like if you put on like despicable me or frozen no despicable me might go but like frozen well frozen's work for me well i'm just i'm just imagine plowing down here like frozen and the beast would be weird kind of play on some good songs in it at least it does it's true i don't know it's hard to say yes just depends on on uh who you're with i suppose maybe it's more of a volume

setting sort of deal yeah if it's something with like absurdly loud action that would be kind of i don't know that could be motivating that could be like you're in a war scene yeah fucking mission impossible through the puss dodging laser beams yeah you kind of want the background music music of an action movie yeah maybe like a james bond like yeah right no i know like a super super sappy drama would be the worst yeah like like there's been like someone lost a child or something oh oh yeah like the room or something like that would be bad. Yeah, oh that would be terrible or like prisoners It's a river prison and it doesn't all be the guys just like you're gonna love this watch the girl with the dragon tattoo Just play oh my god rapes. No if you put on the if you put on the room

You're fucked That would be that would be that would honestly be you could be having the best time and they're the most down and you put that on they'd be like because like i'm out of here like horror movies solid play you know yeah why is that because they get a little scared it's like are you not aware i'm scared but no i'm scared the problem that is i'm the one who's i'm fucking horrified so that that's a great one. Comedy, you can't really go wrong, unless it's a really shitty one. Just like a normal rom-com, you know, dramedy. I mean, honestly, the worst Netflix movie to put on is selecting the movie.

Yeah. If you take too long doing that, it can just fuck everything up. Oh, that could fuck your whole shit up. No, you have to just have a couple go-tos. Yeah. The amount of times I've just put on a movie that I've watched a hundred times just because i'm just like oh yeah have you seen this cool neither have i yeah what's the longest time you think you spent doing that a day looking for a netflix movie in general like no like one session the longest amount of time that you

fucking sat there out like with a girl are you just talking about in general i guess in general because i i know that at at our house in, it was like two and a half hours. Yeah, because sometimes I'll do it, and then I'll be like, fuck this, and I'll get on my phone, and then I'll be like, okay, movie. Oh, no, this was two and a half hours of like nonstop. I'm not even kidding, because there was eight of us.

So every single person had seen every movie, like, oh, I just saw that. Someone said that about every single movie. I fucking hate that. Dude. It's almost like... Especially if it's something that's new that came out. Yeah, it's like, oh, I just watched that by myself. It's like, why? Okay. This is what it's for like if it's something it's new that came out yeah it's like oh i just watched that by myself it's like why okay this is what it's for that should be a hungover moment

i did kind of blow it and watch two of the new black mirrors last night you're a piece of shit there's new black mirrors already yeah he's a piece of shit and you already watched two what is wrong there could have been another striking vipers and you watch it alone you're sick imagine if you watch the striking vipers there's still four more dude you watch two black mirrors by yourself no i was over there what is it over there so with katie i was with oh my god you might as well watch it by yourself i was with uh friends you watch it with katie dude no she was actually asleep cut his mic she was cut his mic for five minutes you watch it with a dog by yourself you're You were asleep, so you watched it by yourself. Even worse. You watched it with a dog by yourself.

No. Cut his mic for five minutes. He's on timeout. You're scum. Jay, what's up? Yeah, dude, let's have a little chit chat. What's the next thing? I got to go in for you.

That's just me and you. You're placing the WNBA today. What's your stat line, game one? What's my stat line, game one? A double-double. Right? Yeah. Animal style? right yeah animal style you're done you're not even coming on a double double for sure like at least like at least i'm getting if i'm not because maybe my scoring is still i'm not a great shooter but athletically like rebounds a couple steals yeah like i'm i'm running fast breaks faster better yeah because i mean the the big

thing is just that we're just bigger than them like i don't think there's that many girls in the w nba they're above 200 pounds i mean oh no yeah you yeah you would be you would be the big man so i might be lebron in there i don't know dude i think at least like we're talking six man of the year like points like you know like a stat line that's maybe it's not we're not dropping 30 but it's like 12 8 and 6 yeah yeah so you know but have you ever played with like uh you probably never would have but i played a game one game my whole life with uh like girls that played in college and they actually are fucking good oh no they can like they yeah skill-wise they're good they're not i'm not saying that they're bad yeah yeah no i'm just saying like athletically because i mean i just

was watching like the the non-highlight clips the other day yeah of them like literally just like dropping like a wide open pass or missing a wide open layup but like just slamming it off the backboard and i'm like yeah at least i can do like i could get as open as that yeah my you wouldn't do anything he's not not here. Okay, dude. Listen to the fucking 90-mile-an-hour fastball over here. You said you topped out at 90. No, I never fucking said that. Yes, you did.

Wait, for the record, I'm going to say this on the pod. When we do test that at the fair, I say you throw 63 max. I threw 63 when I was literally 15 years old no they're they're hyping i don't think you've gotten stronger than that oh we're can't we're having fun guys have guys can't have fun gary grab a grab your cocktail back ribs come on gary come back i'm out he's mad at us do we have to make it up for him like i'm if we're trying to have a conversation don't just shut me up oh geez i'm sorry dude but um you come back dude we're trying to have a conversation, don't just shut me up. Oh, jeez. I'm sorry, dude. But you can come back.

Dude, we were just playing. We're just having fun. Carry on. Okay. He's not. We're not good. Did you hear that? You're going to take that as good?

That's why your relationship is never going to last. You just believe that. What trait or group of traits would counterbalance a micropenis? Counterbalance? Dude, I need to get this enunciation down you when you're normally talking you're fine you can't read i can't read you can't read my dad's dyslexic so can you read that one again okay what trait or what trait or group of traits counterbalance a micro penis it's all about the energy. Big dick energy. No, nothing. You're fucked.

You're completely fucked. You're actually completely fucked. Did you hear the story about there's this one girl who like she was dating this guy and he like secretly had a micropenis and he just hid behind the guys of like, oh, I don't want to do anything until we're married. Like I'm old fashioned. And then like at their what is it after the wedding fucking yeah um honeymoon honeymoon there it is at their honeymoon micropenis oh that's a deal breaker at all times right that's why the the no right after the marriage yeah like right after you get married

on the honeymoon that's a deal breaker. And to think of all the time she had just waiting for it. Oh yeah, she's just been like, she had to have thought that. That has to cross your mind. Yeah, you had to have think that. Because I think they said in the thing he wasn't like religious. But there's no way you don't at least see each other naked at some point in time. She said they never did.

He never let it happen. No way. Like that's the biggest red flag. Well, that would be like, imagine if you had a toupee. You'd be like, oh yeah, I've never seen him in a pool until after the marriage. Dude, that's a divorce. That has to be. But you love him.

But I mean, people with micropenises still get married. Do they get hard? You were willing to get married to him without sex. You loved him that much. Do they get hard? Yes. What's considered a micropenis? It's hard.

What's considered a micropenis? I don't think there's actually a definition. It's just a small dip. No, there is. You could trust this. There is. No, I mean, I'm sure there's a dictionary.com definition. It just says whatever John Marsh has over here. There's a picture of you next to the word.

Yeah, it just says whatever John Marsh has over here. There's a picture of you next to the word. Yeah, it just says... It just says abnormally small. A micropenis is typically diagnosed at birth. How fucking small? No, here we go. About eight centimeters when erect. Eight centimeters? Yeah.

What is that, two and a half inches? No, that's way less than that. An inch is 2.54 centimeters, I think. Don't ask me why I know that. Okay, so how would it be? Four? No, let's way less than that. An inch is 2.54 centimeters, I think. Don't ask me why I know that. Okay, so how would it be? Four? No, let's see. How many?

What did it say? Eight centimeters. Eight centimeters. So three and a half inches? No, that's not... There's no way that's micropenis because then I have micropenis. How is it diagnosed at birth?

That's what it says right here. Wait, what? Okay, this is the definition. Okay, micropenis, an abnormally small penis. A micropenis is typically diagnosed at birth. So what, it's just like a, it just, you can't even see it? Yeah, it's got to be small as shit. Oh yeah, so the condition can be caused by irregular hormone levels

during the third trimester of pregnancy. An adult penis is considered abnormally small only if it measures less than three inches. John. Went erect. He's got a half inch on him. Depends on if you're doing the right calculation. Usually self-diagnosable.

Don't need to go to the doctor for that one. Just hold up your pinky. Yeah. Fuck. I mean mean you could still do something with that no I think I think we're thinking like the worst case like this cuz like three is fine right three is good enough because there's if it's that small I don't even think you could really get in there if

it's this small cuz like I've gotten a pinky in there. No, you could get that in there. No, I'm saying just like based on like the curvature of your legs and shit. You have to do the right positions. Like how often are you like bapping it to the base? You know what I mean? All the time. I know, but like... It's like when you start...

So it has to be like flat to even get it in. Well, no, that's what I'm saying. There's no thrust. There's a weird position. It's a lot of rubbing. It's just missionary with the legs right here. Pile drive. But there's no thrust. They're a weird position. It's a lot of rubbing. It's just missionary with the legs right here. Pile drive. But there's no thrust.

They're like... Pile drive? Yeah. I mean, they can only go back like two inches without it falling out. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. You just got to mess around. It's circular.

Yeah. Yeah. It's more... See, they like that thing on top. There's three inches remaining when I'm fully in. No. It's called the bottom out. No, he's done.

He's done. I'm back, bitches. He's back. Yeah, but I mean, sorry if you do have one of these. No. Listeners of this show do not have microphones.

Okay, but redeeming qualities. You're willing to let your wife fuck other dudes. Redeeming qualities. Send her over here. Yeah, I mean, that's it, right? Send her to the wolves, baby. I mean, or...

Like, I guess you're just like a fucking vibrator dildo city, right? Vibrator dildo city. I mean, let's be real. From what we've heard, they're just always faking it anyway. There he goes. No, I'm telling you.

Buried by self. I would like not to think so. But I mean, you've heard the stories. About you? Yeah. No, remember that sex podcast we were listening to? It says literally less than 20% of women can even have an orgasm from penetration. Oh, from alone.

Yeah. Yeah. Penetration. That's why you got to do other stuff. Well, yeah. I mean. Yeah. You don't know how to talk to.

Spitting, farting, twirling. Farting on it works usually. Farting on it usually does work. Vibration in my cheeks. In my experience. I guess, but like if it was this scenario and you got the woman to marry you without sex, like whatever that guy did, it's got to be good enough, and you got the woman to marry you without sex, whatever that guy did, it's got to be good enough, right?

Or the girl was just lame as fuck. Well, I mean, she probably was. If she's not religious, and he's not either, and she's like, oh yeah, let's totally just not. In this scenario, I'm imagining, because I didn't get to see what they looked like, I'm imagining he's just way out of her league. He is?

Yeah, he's a good-looking dude, probably. Oh, that's his fatal flaw. He's got a good job, and that's is? Yeah. He's a good-looking dude, probably. Oh. He's got a good job, and that's his one flaw. That's his fatal flaw. His Achilles penis. She was like, yeah, I'm willing to look past not even seeing your penis and get married to you. That's how beat I am.

Damn. So it is possible. Don't give up hope. Don't give up hope. Let's see here. What's the strangest thing you've used to do a bump? This might take a minute. Take a minute.

Take a minute? What do you think? I'm trying to think of a couple. I'm trying to think of... Have you used a potato peeler? Yep. Oh, yeah. That's a pretty wide surface.

I remember that. Yeah. That one was shovel-y. Or the side of a can opener? Or no, the side... Is that a can opener? What side? the side... Is that a can opener? What side? Wait, no, I'm trying...

What was that thing? It wasn't a can opener. Some weird utensil. I would say every kitchen utensil has been tried. For sure. Or like the end of a fork? Yeah. The other end?

Oh, but that's just... That's like a good one. Yeah, that's... No, like the fork end. You get four mini bumps. My homies dick? I had your ass cuz yeah, we've done that Mm-hmm. I feel like every I don't know maybe we're just horrible people, but I feel like everything's just pretty standard As long as it gets every device. It's just like what's the closest thing?

I think if I had to say that like worst one that I've, I've used or used is when people have like a necklace fucking spoon. Like I always feel like a piece of shit when I do that. Yeah. Anything. I feel like I'm in good company in that. I'm like, this guy came fucking. No, I feel secure.

Probably some really good drugs. I feel secure, but gross. It's like using somebody else's straw. If you think about it, the, the, it, the girl's fingernail bump seems okay, but day three of a festival, think about it. It's gross. You see your fingernails on that last day of a festival, imagine those long-ass fucking claws.

Yeah, that's... That's pretty weird. And I'm talking about a girl I've never met in my life in the crowd. Mm-hmm. That's kind of ratchet. But it's such a good one to use. It is, and it just feels cool. Yeah.

But that's kind of ratchet. I had a girl fucking almost one to use. It is, and it just feels cool. Yeah. But that's kind of ratchet. I had a girl fucking almost like scrape my fucking inside of my nose out doing that one time. She got like bumped into while she was doing that and just went straight up my nose. Oh, just touched that brain one time? Holy fuck. Oh, probably faster delivery. Didn't even have to sniff? No, it just injected straight into my brain.

Just locked fucking deposited it in there? Yeah, it just lodged it. You were up for a couple minutes, so I have to bet. Lodged it in me. Straight to the bloodstream or something? Yeah. it in there just you were up for a couple minutes so i lodged it in me straight to the bloodstream or something yeah um i have i have this one too in the weird news i saw have you guys seen the guy who's aging backwards okay that what is going on benji buddy so he's like this 44 year old dude and his main thing that he's doing is injecting his son's plasma into his body and through like all the tests that they run like of his genetics or whatever he technically has like the body of like a 23 year old now

but he looks weird as shit well have you seen what he looked like before no he looked like an old 44 year old dude and now he looks like young really yeah he looks weird he looks like he got plastic surgery yeah he looked like big serial killer vibes but this is the thing that goes with it he spends 18 hours of his day doing treatments to make himself younger what type of fucking trust fund did he have to so one of the things he wakes up at 4 a.m and takes 65 pills and then at night he takes 25 more so you're just wasting your life trying to stay young yeah he's literally wasting his current life trying to make himself younger instead of just i mean he is his current life is just going to be eternal so it doesn't really matter yeah

he's gonna live forever time when you're never gonna die yeah well i mean if he does live forever jokes on us he does all kinds of shit he does like uv light laser beam shit like i don't i don't know like a scientist or what is this dude no he's just like some rich dude who's like obsessed with being younger but the weird part is that he takes his son i was gonna say how is he getting that well his son has to fucking unload some plasma he has too much plasma every day every day what do you get i'm sure they maybe take it out on like a monday they take out a week's worth plasma's in your blood right yeah they take out out a week's worth plasma's in your blood right yeah they take out like a week's worth of plasma

maybe from the kid on a Monday and he's just out cold for the rest of the week just like sickle cell anemia yeah he's like jacked though and looks young dude if you ask your son for blood plasma okay well here's the easiest part

you don't ask him yeah i mean don't do that for sure but how weird okay no i'm saying you don't have to ask him it's here you're my clone yeah i'm with that well we'll see how that go do the dishes and go get me your plasma i think i think for me one of the weird things is like how long if so say he successfully has aged himself to 23 body now how long can he can he stop doing it and it's just like now it's from 23 on or does he have to keep doing it to stay 20 does that make sense yeah it does say he stopped we definitely don't know the answer but i'm down to explore because i would do it because he's i feel like you could you could just you would like so it

essentially reverses your your genes to like ag backwards yeah so i think you could just, you would like, so it essentially reverses your genes to like age you backwards. Yeah. So I think you could just do like a cycle to where you get back down to like a baseline and then maybe go like 10 years and then do it again. That's what I'm saying. Like, would you, I would be willing to take like a year off. Of life.

Like once I get 40, just take a year of whatever this guy's schedule is and then just go back to 20. Just go right back down. Maybe that's the future. That's what we do. We all go into like a little hyper sleep chamber and get fucking reverse age for a year and then we come back and we're lit but what what does it say like the actual data on like how old he's supposed to be now he's 44 years old what do you mean data that's but like what is what what are they saying he is not 23

23 year his his all everything that they test comes back the same as a 23 year old. So it's working. So like if they tested a 23 year old's whatever they, I don't know the exact shit they test. The baseline. Micropenis. And then his, it's the same. Okay. I'm, I'm kind of excited.

That's pretty wild. Yeah. So if you weren't going to have a kid, here's one pro. Yeah. That's, that's kind of, that's something. And then, hmm, I wonder, it doesn't have any effects on the kid though, right? You're just donating blood. It's basically just taking blood out, yeah.

He gets a cookie on Mondays after he gets blood. How old is the kid? I think he's like 22. He's like 20? Yeah. So if he's smart, he has a kid right now and does the same shit. Yeah, I would start doing it. Yeah, could you go too far back?

Like you age your body to like nine and then you don't have cum anymore? You're just shooting blanks? Yeah, like I wonder how it affects every aspect, right? Because would it affect your brain development? Like you go back into development phase? I don't think there's a way. He just like forgets how to feed himself. Maybe he's just trying to steal his...

He's yearning for breast milk all day. He's trying to take his son's chick, probably. I wouldn't doubt it. All right, these are stupid. We're going to try them. I have one more good fan one, I think. Oh, you have? Okay, this is one.

How do we break the cycle of we don't like anyone who's at all interested in us, we're absolutely repulsed, and we are in love with people who show no interest at all um i'm not like that you're not sure you are what do you mean or you'd have a girlfriend why why because girls like you and they're not interested it doesn't if just because i don't like them doesn't mean it's because they like me.

Because maybe I just... Only whack-ass girls like me. Have you ever thought about that? Have you ever thought about that angle? Oh, shit. Well, try and put... Maybe I'm not cool. Try and put yourself in the scenario.

You've definitely had a girl who... Oh, no, I've it's definitely like maybe you were interested in them and they weren't that interested in you and then as soon as they kind of started showing interest you're like i'm not as into it you just you have to you legitimately have to stop putting interest in the people that aren't like you have to define your search results better and only go for that well but like why why do i why because i mean for me i definitely do pursue people who are neglected to me more like i'm way more into it yeah that's just because it's kind of fun for a day but why like everybody wants people there's people who do actually like it's because those girls are more attractive than you are qualified to get. That's what it is.

That's every girl. No, I think it's just... The swamp donkeys that you play with, sure, of course they like you. That's most women. That's just human nature. You want what you can't have. You just got to be better at getting what you can't have. No, I just think you're just the wrong people.

Well, but even for me, someone that i am interested in as soon as they kind of like flip the switch into like wanting to talk more or like whatever i'm like really i'd be stoked yeah because no one wants everyone's talking i'm agreeing with you i just said i'd be so you're saying how do we solve this like is what is what is the problem the problem is a lot of people don't don't know what they want. Okay. So you have to be very clear with yourself about what that is. So maybe you're just lying to yourself about what you want. Yeah, almost everybody will.

Like, oh, I say, oh, I want this, I want that. Well, also, like, the girl that doesn't give you the time of day, you don't, like, know anything about them. But I know that I want it. Of course you're a little more interested. I know that I love them. You're more interested because you haven't got to know them at all. They could be horrible people. And then the girls that like kind of throw everything at you.

You're like, OK, I kind of got a good idea of what's going on here. And I don't like them because they're girls. Well, yeah, but the dynamic of hope that that other one that isn't talking to me might be a dude secretly. That's an angle. Well, the whole thing is that the dynamic. I think that's why angle well the whole thing is that the dynamic i think that's why people eventually start dating it's because the the timing where you seem like you're not that into the person perfectly lines up so that you both are like oh i'm actually into you like you both

yeah that's what i'm saying also it's like both sides it's like for each person yeah it works it works both ways for sure yeah because like you could have a flip too where you're like oh i'm not that into that person and then when you are into them they're not into you yeah it seems it's like always oh yeah no i've that scenario has happened yeah i think when you do flip like that that's when you actually date someone if you like put it up like if you like put someone off for too long and then like you're like oh wait they're actually like super cool and then by that time they're just giving up on you because you've just been a dick or whatever then it's like fuck that that can easily happen how do we prevent how do we get it to line up better well it just it just happens it just has to happen i mean if you if they if that is the person you end up dating but it is yeah

it's because that means it should work out like you both kind of realize like okay this person's actually because everyone has their guard up a little bit you're not just gonna especially like in a city like fucking san diego yeah dude now that i think about it all three of my relationships there's been a flip one way and then a flip the other, and then you finally fucking... Yeah. That's crazy. So you just gotta... Well, it's like if it's... But it can't line up

too early. No, it has to be over time, for sure. Well, yeah, as cheesy as it is, if it's supposed to work out, it typically would a little bit further down the road, you know? I think it's usually about three months it takes for that to happen. So one you hate them they like you month two yeah so it's like the opposite it flips and then month three is like oh we actually both like each other yeah i think it's usually like you hang out like three times and you're both pretty into it and

then somebody come draws back and the other person's like fuck you but they're still into it and then it just flips well yeah because it's either like one person becomes annoying because the other person's over it or yeah then from their perspective like you're just like reaching at fucking straws you know what i mean you're like why am i wasting my time with this shit so i guess now with that knowledge you just got to fucking force that on everything no but it doesn't work if you know what's happening yeah it doesn't work if you know it so there's no solution because if you're if you're just like over some chick and then you're like oh i'm gonna like them next month i guess that's why you can never plan yeah that's why i've just stopped pursuing it's just up to the universe that's why girls are out for me that's why i

just haven't uh spoken to a girl in quite some time we We don't know. Huh? We don't know. We don't know. That's true. We don't know shit. Okay, so the answer... That's a good fucking question. That was a good question. It's a good question. I think that's as much

as we can provide. Yeah. Yeah, well, I mean, I don't think we've ever had a fan question that we've answered well. We do our best. Yeah, we do.

We're only... You know what you're getting from us. They're not looking for the fountain of knowledge here, folks. No, absolutely not. They're not from us. They're not looking for the fountain of knowledge here, folks. No, absolutely not. They're not asking Siri. If your farts were made into a cologne, what would it be called?

If your farts were made into a cologne, what would it be called? Baja Blast. God's word. Ooh, Taco Bell. I was thinking something like the Lazy River. Ooh. That'd be yummy by Garrett Boper. Or by Gucci. Splatter by Morgan.

Splat by Bunchy. Okay, we can end it there. Those were dumb. Summer's here, bitch. Alright, ladies and gents. I'm Garrett. That was episode 45. Perfect. That was a perfect Garrett. That was episode 45. Perfect. That was a perfect ending.

Yep. Podcast. That was it. If you guys want to submit questions to the show, just cut that. No, cut it. Nope. Come on, man. We did it.

Episode's over. Okay.