NO FOMO - 46. We Hike

Episode Date: June 22, 2023

🔔 Subscribe: ⁠https://linktr.ee/nofomopod⁠ 🎽 Merch: ⁠https://www.bonfire.com/store/no-fomo/⁠ Welcome Back Fomosapiens. This week we talk about staying on land, procrastinating and how much we love hiking. Let's Evolve Together, NO FOMO. Support the Podcast: Get 20% OFF @manscaped + Free Shipping with promo code NOFOMO at MANSCAPED.com!

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back, back, back to the Munchkin FOMO Show. Now it's FOMO. So what's up, fuckers? What's up? Are we live? 46. Yeah, we're rolling with that. 46 long-ass dicks. Throat and dicks, 46.

Ugh. Um, not much. Not much is going on, really. Yeah. I don't know. There's an absolute encyclopedia of knowledge over there. There's nothing happening. Of nothings and muches.

You guys aren't saying anything. What the fuck, dude? We thought you were going to take it away, dude. Yeah, you're the intro guy. Okay, well, reporting live. You're about to get fired from it, I'm just going to say. Reporting live from the bottom of the ocean, we are in the missing Titanic sub right now.

We are the lost ones. We're fine. There's plenty of oxygen. If you were in that, you'd probably make this podcast. That's exactly what our motivations were. Should we explain it for Morg? Because he has no idea what we're talking about. Yeah, I have no idea what it is.

Morg lives under a fucking rock, so he doesn't know. He lives under two rocks. He lives under the mountain of rocks. Yeah. There was a submarine that was going down the look. A submersible device. Yeah, which you know what that is? It's just, is it a submersible device or a submarine?

It's a submersible device. Okay. But no, there's people in it. There's people in it. Okay. But it's not like a full-blown military-grade submarine. Yeah. They were going down to look at the Titanic wreck.

It's lost. The submarine is lost. The submarine and the people inside. There's five people inside. There's like three tech billionaires. The guy who's like the best knowledgeable person about the titanic in the world and then one of the guy's kids okay what do you mean they're lost it is gone they don't know where it is contact with it an hour after it went under the water

and it's been gone for like three days or maybe more yeah past i think it was friday or no what today's today today's wednesday i think it was sunday yeah sund What day is today? Today's Wednesday. I think it was Sunday. Yeah. Sunday. It went under 96 hours of air. Haven't heard anything since. Haven't found it. Wait,

96 hours. What is that? Four days? Yes. Close. Yeah. Right at four days. Yeah,

it is right. Yeah. Uh, the last reports we had, so it's gone. So there's some, yeah, there's some,

there, there, I'm pretty sure like dirt, like this morning, the time passed already. Yeah. Yeah. yeah yeah this is this is i think you're dead yeah um there is some fun little elements to it though um one of them is that one of them is that uh the submarine or the submersible thing was like they did a news report on it like five years ago or something impenetrable and infallible no so the guy who did the interview called it uh mcgyvery and uh something else because they use like a

off-brand playstation controller to control it there's stuff from like camp world to make it work it's got like pipes on the outside like the oxygen supply thing is literally from like camping land or whatever camping world. Yeah. So there's a bunch of pieces of this that are just like, it kind of works. But it's not like we designed something specifically for this. We just bought something and kind of threw it in there. You think they'd have better equipment

when the tickets are $250,000 per person? Yeah. Like they're making a million dollars off of this expedition alone. Well, I don't think they're making any money off of it. The business is collapsing after this. They're going to get sued so far. It's already collapsed. But I guess in like 2008,

there was like a huge, some commission that does a maritime commission like filed a complaint against them, like 36 people, different experts. Oh yeah, like all the top experts were like, nah. No, this is not fit.

You should not do this. But it made it like 15 years before something happened. Did they send it down before? Yeah, it goes down like weekly, more than that. Oh, really? I'm pretty sure one of the guys on it, this is his third trip in the last seven days or something.

Oh, shit. So they just got fucked. Yeah. It's not like they just threw this together and then went down there. They've been doing it for like decades. Yeah, but there was things saying that like, hey, you probably shouldn't do it for a long time now. You should probably never do that, right? I mean, James Cameron did this in like the 90s to film for the titanic really yeah he held the record for like the longest solo like submarine dive yeah he has a world record for that decades another cool little part of it is um the one of the kids of

like the tech billionaires uh like the day after they went missing he's a he went to a blink 182 concert and he posted a picture oh okay i did see that yeah he posted a picture and the captain was like this is gonna see him off color or something but my family would want me to be here they would want me to see blink is what it's like oh my god too savagery yeah but some some crazy shit is that there's are you still going yeah on that i mean i'm just saying the ocean's out no this is this is about that okay the ocean's just out for me you know what's the conflict of interest why they need to be dead for something else to happen so there's conspiracy there'll be some conspiracies once we get some confirmation of deaths here but the

craziest thing is they don't know they don't know it could have like floated up so after 24 hours they have like a ballast that releases, and it's supposed to float to the surface no matter what. So unless that is the specific thing that went wrong, then it could be on the surface somewhere, but they can't get out because you can only open it. They bolt them in with 17 different bolts from the outside. So even if they made it to the surface,

they're still trapped in there no matter what. And they're running out of oxygen. And they're going to die. No, there's got to be an oxygen thing. No, there's an... What do you mean? Like if you're at the top, you're telling me there's not an oxygen... What do we tell you, MacGyver-y?

It's a sealed fucking thing with just an oxygen supply. That's all it is. It's only designed to go down and back up and they get out. There was the report of they've heard like a banging from somewhere down there. And then the banging has stopped. Well, yeah. And in, in a precise 30 minute intervals, they would hear banging for like a few minutes and then it would stop.

Banging from what? Like they think someone, they could be all banging on like the inside of it. Cause they, so what they did is they, the people who are searching for them dropped down a bunch of sonar buoys or buoys on the surface, then dropped a bunch to the bottom. And then it like, obviously it has like pulses that try to like locate anything. And then they have ones that are like for audio too. So they heard like in 30 minute intervals banging. So I think that it's the people like trying to signal them.

Cause that one of them said like, that's, that's something that I guess they're trained to do. Yeah. That's what you're supposed to do. Yeah. It's like, you're supposed to be in specific intervals so that people don't think it's some random thing.

So they're trying to locate where it's coming from, but these things have such, I mean, there's no other noise, right? So it's just like, it's a very vast amount of space that it could be traveling through. Could it be that big of a distance that it's in? They're traveling.

They're searching 25,000 square miles. And there's the underwater currents that could just take it anywhere. Oh, they lost control of it. Well, no, that's what underwater currents that could just take it anywhere. Oh, they lost control of it. Yeah, yeah. Well, no, that's what could have happened. No one knows. Oh, yeah, there's multiple theories.

There's one, one of them that I saw that I'm like, how have we not fucking made sure it's not that is that, because I guess it can go inside the wreckage and they think that, because after a certain amount of time, like the panic thing is,

if it breaks down or whatever, is these things floated to the top. So they're saying they're in the wreckage and it floated to the top but it's just stuck in the wreckage they're searching 25 000 square miles for this thing and they've already covered 10 000 or 12 000 by now i think but like it could like that's a huge amount of fucking space how many people are on that thing five five five people searching for billionaires no no there's five people five people in it no there's tens of thousands of people they have every like yeah every fucking thing that every nation's like coast guard is looking for this and they can't fucking find them no but the ocean's big it's not that big i saw a thing like first scale of like

how fuck this is oh yeah they put the statue of liberty how deep they are well no not just like how deep the ocean is of like how hard it would be to find this thing. And it's like, basically like you're looking from space. Oh, you know what's fucked? And it's pitch black down there. Yeah. When they find it, that's going to be fucked up. I don't think they're going to.

I don't know if they'll ever find it. Eventually, right? I mean, we never found a plane. That's so true. Yeah. I mean, how much longer, after the 96 hours of air thing, how much longer do you even look and they were saying that the 96 hours isn't even really guaranteed because they don't they're gonna panic they don't take into account the panic breathing and also like

also you probably maybe try to kill somebody to see this is where i knew morg was yeah well i did see immediately tweets about i guarantee they they started eating people after like 12 hours which is sick but oh yeah how many how long do you kill somebody well you can survive off eating not eating for 96 no i'm talking about the oxygen 24 hours end up being lost you oh like you kill someone so they stop breathing your air yeah that's what he was saying yeah dude what if the guy just murked them all and he's just like he's got like days and days and days how big is it it's tiny. So they're all crammed in there. They showed a picture of just four people in there

and they're literally like this. It's fucking tiny. I mean, yeah. You're not even allowed to wear shoes because it's so small because you have to fold your feet like this. How long was the trip supposed to be? Just a couple hours or something.

Yeah, you just go down and come back up. Because it takes, well, it's more than a couple hours because I think it takes a couple hours to get down. To down there but it's a day it's a day at the most like 12 hours oh my god yeah i didn't even think about that fuck the cannibalism some they if the guy the guide who actually knows what's up is smart he just kills a whole yeah and then has all the oxygen for himself but that's a toughie though they're all like shoulder to shoulder yeah so what are you doing just fucking yeah it'd be tough to pull off a murder with the four other people.

I like to think that's not what they went for immediately. Oh, it for sure is. We go down together. Well, if Morb was in there, he's strangling us out. Yeah, they were saying like that because of the how tiny it is, like the air circulation, like even if they're not out of oxygen, they could poison the air with so much CO2 before they even add oxygen. Oh, because they're going to be off gas so much.

Yeah. Like the percentage in the air would obviously be so shifted. Who's the person who's doing that? Who's coming up with that? They're like sitting there thinking, they're trying to give us all hope. They've got 96 hours and there's a guy who's like,

technically, they could fucking die way before that. Yeah. It's not even, they could just breathe really hard and they'd die. Yeah, no, they have, I saw this when I went over to, when I went over to the deli. They had it on the news, and the guy on there was just like, yeah, I mean, 96 hours is a pretty wishful thing to begin with.

We didn't even think about the CO2 poisoning from the lack of airflow. I was just like, so they're dead already. He's like, yeah, we've got about four hours left, but I doubt they would have even made it that long. And then also they said that they could easily just die of freezing because at that level it's it's not well insulated enough to like like sustain any sort of well i mean your shoulder shoulder you just take your shirt off you're good no they said like hypothermia it's below freezing yeah down there even inside of the thing wait hold on look at more garas perplexed i'm this though. Between that and the guy getting eaten by the shark,

I'm out on the ocean this summer. Oh, you won't catch me in the ocean this summer. This is no water summer. We are pool boys. This is dry land summer, brother. We're big pool boys this summer. Oh, dude. If it's a deep pool with I can't see the bottom,

I don't know. There could be a shark in there. No, it's kiddie pool summer. I could see myself at a lake this summer. No. Hell no. Are you high? What?

Some little grass touches your foot, you're going to be with that? You heard of the Loch Ness? Oh, grass? I'm out. Some slime? Yeah. You get a slimy bottom?

I don't fuck with any body of water with living things in it. And lakes are always darker than regular water, too. It's murky. Yeah, it's so dark. You just put your head under, you can't see. Yeah, I've seen some pretty big catfish and stuff, too. Oh. Yeah.

Those people that stick their arms in those waters. There's a show called River Monsters. What am I thinking? No. Yeah, no, no, no, no. It's not called Lake Monsters, though. What do rivers go and stuff too. Oh. Yeah. Those people that stick their arms in those fuckers. There's a show called River Monsters. What am I thinking? No. Yeah. No, no, no, no. It's not called Lake Monsters though. What do rivers go to?

Lakes. Lakes. And oceans. It's a pathway between a lake and the ocean. Can't even have it. But no, my question was, how do you lose, isn't there like sonar on the outside of it?

Like what do you mean they've lost it? Okay, this is one of the things. So it runs on the Neuralink from Elon Musk. Not Neuralink. Or not Neuralink. Starlink or whatever. So the thing that it's supposed to do is that thing where it's supposed to float to the top if anything goes wrong,

that Starlink can only connect with it if it gets to the top. It can't reach all the way down into the ocean. But they're tracking it the whole time though, right? They lost it after an hour. They lost all contact. They lost its signal. They lost all like-

Oh, so it's a conspiracy for sure. Somebody in there has the plans. We do need to know who, we have tech billionaires. I'm sure it's fucking some AI guy maybe. I don't think that was real. Huh? The people who were on it. I didn't see anything about them being special at all.

You didn't see that? They're all billionaires. They're all rich people because who else can afford a 250 000 ticket but i don't think they're like some crazy dude they got it's all the opening i guess group outing here are the passengers above oh i have to pay for this nice try new york times yeah they're getting slippery with that they should make a black mirror episode about this yeah this is pretty wild. That's fucked up. Homish Harding, the chairman of Action Aviation.

Okay. They're probably trying to... Black... Flames are out. They're probably trying to go to space. You can't get out of the firm. Sahasda Dawood, who is the vice chairman of Dawood Hercules, an investment holding company based in Karachi, Pakistan.

Got to get rid of him. Need him gone. Paul Henry Nargalet. That's the guy who's the Titanic expert. So they need that knowledge gone. Erase history. Maybe they're going to find out he could have. Oh, and then the CEO of this thing was in there too.

The CEO of the company? I thought I had heard that. Yeah, so that's fine. Fuck him anyway. Yeah, or he was going to get sued into oblivion regardless. They were probably just trying to... They might have hung him. Maybe it was planned.

He was just supposed to be the only guy in there and he brought his buddies. Yeah. I mean, yeah, they're all just rich cocksuckers because... Well, except for the guy's 19-year-old son. That sucks. Oh. Oh, there's a 19-year-old there?

But his other son was at the rock show? He fell in love at the rock show? No, I think that was Hamish's kid. Hamish Harding. Hamish? Yeah, he was a white kid. It says in here, big Blink-182 fan, Hamish Harding. He would have wanted his son to go.

It was a white kid, so it definitely could have been Hamish's son. No, Hamish is, he's like a European of some sort. Okay. Then we've got Shazazdaaz that's the one with the 19 year old okay well we wish him well yeah good luck got a couple hours yeah by the end of this podcast they're either saved or not could you imagine if you like were looking out the porthole and you're like we're at the surface and we're gonna die of fucking not being able to breathe that would be worse than the bottom probably way worse yeah at least at the bottom you can't see

and you're just like, fuck. That's basically buried alive. Like, Jesus Christ, man. But if they did get to the top of the thing, would it win off, right? Well, not if something's wrong with it. Something could be wrong with it. Any number of things could be wrong.

But if they can't find them, they don't know. Fuck, dude. Dryland summer. Dryland summer is in effect. Fully operational. You will not catch my head under the water i would maybe i'm not even sticking my head under the shower water i was gonna say i may no baths under a jacuzzi maybe get a little jets flowing through the hair but

that's about it is dangerous it's gonna feel like big waves hit me in the face that's true also there's like the part where the water gets sucks in what if you get sucked into that yeah and the visibility is poor with all the bubbles true yeah if you go down to the bottom and there's like the part where the water sucks in. What if you get sucked into that? Yeah, and the visibility is poor with all the bubbles. True. Yeah, if you go down to the bottom and there's a little vent sucks you down, just clamps you. Yeah, look, we drink water. That's all we need it for.

We're barely drinking water. We don't need to be in it. Yeah, this summer, yeah. Beer, dry land summer. Water's out for 2023. Dude, fuck. That's gnarly, dude. Too many hiccups. That is gnarly dude there's been too many

too many hiccups that is fucked up and there's the other fucking you see the thing that they think whales are starting to hunt people

or whatever or they're tipping over fishing vessels yeah yeah really yeah well they already

tried to eat the kayak guy well that one's these are the killer whales that are doing this they're like planned attacking boats they're like

you were showing me this right they're like teaching their young to flip were showing me this, right? They're like teaching their young to flip over fishing boats. There's been like more than one. How many killer whale deaths we got for humans? Seven. Couldn't run with it. Couldn't run with it. At least six.

I know of six. There could be a seven. Damn, dude. Speaking of other big news, what else? In summer. Can I have big damn dude speaking of other big news what else you know in summer can i have big news speaking of other big news and summer being on the precipice i think it actually starts the fit when's the first official day today yesterday was the longest day of the year today's the longest we missed the solstice i didn't do fucking anything no the solstice is today oh well let's get after sure yeah and you said you didn't have time to go to guitar center it's the longest day of the year my guy pop a. And you said you didn't have time to go to Guitar Center. It's the longest day of the year, my guy. Pop a fizzle.

Let's get to it. If you don't have time today, when are you going to have time? You'll never have enough time. But I was going to say, obviously, you know, with the big release of Barbie coming up this summer, we took a little BuzzFeed quiz. Oh, yeah. I forgot about that.

Which Barbie that we are. All right, ladies and gents, we're going to take a quick break from the show. I have a question. What's more American than a bald eagle? A bald sack. The 4th of July is almost here and that means

a couple of things. That doesn't answer the question. I thought there was going to be an answer. The answer is there's nothing more American than a bald eagle. They're saying like going bald eagle down low. What's more American than going bald eagle? There's nothing more American than having your eagle be bald.

Yeah. Like a bald eagle. No hair on our eagles. The 4th of July is almost here. And that means a couple of things. Interpret that on your own. Barbecues, pool parties with your head above the water. And last but not least, glizzies.

Glizzies. And it just so happens the sponsors of today's show, Manscaped, are making sure all of the glizzy gladiators across the nation are groomed for the battle on America's birthday. Let's go, dude. There's going to be a battle? There's going to be a battle. We're going World War IV. They just declared World War III on the Manscaped.

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he's missing commas and periods all over the place. Dude, that was a long list. That was a long list. Carry on. Yeah, you're killing it. But have you been practicing reading to yourself? Because I feel like you're doing the best you can. This is next level minus the punctuation errors.

I just, when I take Adderall, I can't read that well. Oh yeah, yeah. Your brain moves faster than your eyes. Fucking take your freedom bells to the next level minus the punctuation errors. When I take Adderall, I can't read that well. Oh, yeah, yeah. Your brain moves faster than your eyes. Fucking take your freedom bells to the next level by going to manscaped.com and get 20% off with free shipping with our discount code NOFOMO.

It's a no-brainer. It's a no-brainer, NOFOMO. No hair. Get your independence back this Independence Day and unlock your confidence with Manscaped. Now back to the show, dude. This is incredibly appropriate as a Swifty and as someone who's elated for the release of Barbie.

Is it out yet? Huh? No. It's not out? No, mid-July. Same day as Oppenheimer. I was going to say, if we miss that, we fucked up. Oppenheimer Barbie double feature. We're ripping that.

So, I mean, without any further ado, our local Barbie. Garrett, what'd you get? I'm over the moon about this one. I got the Dua Lipa mermaid Barbie. What the fuck? Jesus Christ. I could not have nailed it.

What does that one say? You're the person everyone calls when they want to have a good time. You always have the best party ideas, know where all the hottest spots are. Your fun and quirky personality is what makes others so attracted to you. And honestly, between us,

I think everyone wants to be just like you. God, I couldn't agree more with that. I don't know if these are accurate. I think these aren't accurate. So you lost. Yeah, he knew this one, did it beforehand, and picked the red things.

No, this thing just fucking gets it. He is a Swifty. I'll give it to him, but I think the description was bullshit. And I'm in love with Dua Lipa. He's got the same body. Yeah, you do have the same body. As what?

Dua Lipa. As a coke-addicted barbie. As a Dua Lipa? Dua Lipa's smoking's got the same body. Yeah, you do have the same body. As what? Dua Lipa. I like a coke addicted Barbie. Dua Lipa is smoking hot. As a mermaid. Cool. I'll take it. Both of your legs are one leg. Cool. That's because... Mork, what Barbie are you? I got the Kate McKinnon weird Barbie.

Yeah, you did. A unique personality. You tend to shine a little brighter than the rest facts yeah unique is a cool way of saying weird is a really sweet way to put that they really let you down easy and can't help but stand out from the crowd even though others think you're a bit odd keep being you because you're the kind of person who makes history get fucked dude okay okay i think that's perfect that's so me i got nothing to debate that's. I think that's perfect. That's so me. I got nothing to debate. That's so you. Yeah, that's very you. That one's just more.

Nailed it. I got the Nicola Coughlin Diplomat Barbie. Who's Nicole? Oh, that is very you. She's a big woman. Okay. So I'll give you that. What's her name?

Nicola Coughlin. Are you saying more than one word? Nicola. Okay, Nicola. Coughlin. Coughlin, okay. Yeah. Diplomat Barbie. So I'm great at sorting out problems your friends always know that they can come to you when in a

scuffle keeping the peace is your thing and oh my god are you good at it okay yours is wrong yeah that was way the fuck off you're good at keeping the peace no no yeah you're good at stirring the pot i am an amplifier of anger instigator um do we want to go through a couple of our song choices i think the first one needs to be talked about there's a couple that just need to be yeah let's do the big one i didn't know all of them yeah the first one what did you pick okay uh favorite song from the debut album yeah i picked our song our song is our song it's only one it's only tim mcgrath's up there but that's it's a no-brainer it's only one. Tim McGraw's up there, but. It's a no brainer for me. Yeah.

And let's see. There was another one. Fearless. You belong with me. Or Love Story is a good one too, but I picked You Belong With Me. I also picked that one. Okay.

What if we picked all the same ones? No. And we all got different ones? The Story of Us. Enchanted. You went Enchanted. Oh, no, no. You're talking about,

that's from Speak Now. Story of Us. Yeah. The Story of Us. Oh, from this one. No, I picked Enchanted. Okay. Okay. That. You're talking about, that's from Speak Now. Story of Us? Yeah. The Story of Us? Oh, from this one. No, I picked Enchanted. Okay, okay. That makes sense for The Mermaid.

Yes. Okay, this one's a big one here. The Red Album. Yeah, that's a big album. Which one did you pick on that? I think 22. 22 is the only one. I think the first time I did 22,

but the second time I did We Are Never Getting Back Together. Okay, good, good, good. That's a fucking slap too, though. I can't knock that. The rest of them, I barely knew any of the songs. Blank Space? Blank Space, we know. I don't know. Maybe rest of them I barely knew any of the songs Blank Space from 1989 I don't know

maybe I know that one but I just didn't know it got a blank space baby oh okay and I write your name same thing I would have picked that one yeah why would you not

oh I didn't know it was that one I didn't know any from Reputation really Getaway Car I feel like Lover, Cruel Summer obviously is the standout single I mean dude is she the goat

yeah she is the goat she's yoded she fucks hard I bet she doesn't though should we do the other one she's like she's yoated she fucks hard i bet she doesn't though should we do the other one wait what do you yeah you think taylor swift fucks no no but she's a fucking she cries after a lot i don't think she like fucks but like she cries like i couldn't see it being great i could see her ripping a cigarette after also oh she definitely ripped i couldn't see it being great but she seems like a fun hang she's the type of girl that did anal the first few times

before losing her virginity because she didn't want to lose it oh that's fair she was like a little she was gated out early yeah okay i'm not happy about this next question okay the sandwich dude now this one i can only say from so this is what kind of sandwich are you and it's important and i can only say from the questions that they ask we'll get into that later after the sandwiches wait should we this is accurate mine is accurate okay do we do the questions well we'll do the questions after we do the sandwiches okay okay because we want to know why it's correct you know okay uh i'll start with mine okay i got pb and j okay that really yeah that's perfect uh you know what goes together better

than peanut butter and jelly you and life you handsome devil that's what it says yeah absolutely fuck i'll show it i'll fucking send you a fucking drop right now it says you handsome devil yeah and i'm me and life go together mine is so good Mine is so depressing after hearing yours. Okay, so I got the meatball sub. That's awesome. You are a meatball sub. This is the description. What's up, bro? Broski.

Broseph. Professor. Brocidon, ruler of the broshen. Barack Brobama. Lindsey Broham. Don Brolo. A Broham Lincoln. Napoleon Bronapart.

And that's it. That is you. Yeah yeah that's basically your personality dude okay not only does my sandwich suck but it's more the description and then the picture is fucking heinous okay so i just got a hamburger with lettuce instead of buns so god like yeah like a lettuce wrapped burger. The description is literally all caps LOL, period. And this is the fucking picture. Jesus. That's so bad.

All it has on it is a whole red onion in a patty. With the weakest looking lettuce. That is whack. And the fucking, god damn it, the description is so fucking chad. You suck. That's fucked up, dude. You are a fucking, absolutely a fucking dutchman burger at least i made it like a bandit on round one though now yeah now this one what this why i think this one's more accurate because the questions they

ask are just oh yeah we gotta go through the questions um uh pick a website was the first one and it's almost six websites that bing is one of them and and they're all logos well when was this quiz made 2014 14 i was gonna say those logos like that's espn's logos from the 90s yeah um then we have pick a 90s nickelodeon show i didn't know a single one you know any of those no rent stamp i knew i did but i never watched a single one of those. I don't know what Salute Your Shorts is or Guts or Clarissa Explains It All. That sounds just bad. Legends of the Hidden Temple? Never heard of any of these.

Now, okay, so I don't know what they gathered from those two things, right? What personality traits they picked up. How cool you are. The next one is pick a donut. I went with the donut holes. Original glazed. You went donut holes. That's why you suck, dude.

Yeah. Okay, donut holes if they're original glazed. See, that's. That's why you suck, dude. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Donut holes if they're original glaze. See, that's why I went like a sandwich that isn't really a sandwich for you because you picked a donut that isn't really a donut. Ooh. That's so fair.

Yeah. I did it to myself. We have pick a slang word. Swole. I went YOLO. You went YOLO? I went turnt up. That is a good one.

Then pick something green. And I want to know from this one what they found out. How cool you are. There are six pictures of green. You picked the lettuce, didn't you? Yeah, it's how I picked the money. You picked the money. I picked the money, too.

That's not lettuce. That's weed, idiot. No, there's lettuce above the weed. Oh, classic. SNL host? Sure. Norm MacDonald. Okay, that's why.

Bottom, middle, whatever. Now, this one I think I would like to know. This one I just want to know for you guys. sure you know McDonald okay that's why bottom middle whatever now this one I think I would like to know this one I just want to know for you guys what appetizer do you pick from Olive Garden

are you fucking high the crispy calamari dude Olive Garden and breadsticks is the only answer well I'm the fucking meatball sub you guys aren't

okay yeah you're right whatever you picked is better Star Wars character Han Solo I picked Chewbacca I initially did then I swapped to Solo.

Fluffy? The cow. The kitty cat. Oh, you went kitty cat. That's why they gave you. I went pancakes. That's a cute-ass cat, dude. So there's some fluffy-ass pancakes.

If they're going to put a cute cat, that's a cute cat. See, I went the pancakes because that's the thing that I would describe as the most fluffy on that. Even though they're the least fluffy. Cotton candy is way fluffier. Okay. That pillow looks pretty fucking plump itself. All of these collect

on the biggest question of all of them. Pick a shade of gray. And there are six shades of gray. There's a light gray. I can't even tell which one I picked because when you click it, it goes to a different shade of gray. Do you notice that? Yeah, I'm not even sure which one I did. I did bottom middle. I think it's very important.

That is a good shade of gray. I did bottom middle. I think it's very important. That is a good shade of gray. I did top middle. Okay. That's a shit gray. That's like your skin color gray. Okay. Well. That's not true.

Yeah, it is. That's not true. You went Garrett's skin color gray for your room? I think bottom middle is the right one. Yeah. But I mean, sandwich, I'm way more happy with my sandwich. I think mine's pretty good as well. Good sandwich, Garrett. Yeah, mine's shit. You'm more I'm way more happy with my sandwich. I think my are pretty good as well Good sandwich Garrett. Yeah, mine's shit. You do a leap. I love how it just says lol. That's so funny

All right, but um so this happened over the weekend and I I Didn't know that someone could actually do this. So our friends came and he tried to order a half of a gram of cocaine. Have you ever heard of something like that before? In like college, people tried to, but I don't think anyone has ever. So he called the drug dealer and said, I want a half a gram and that's it? Yeah. No, he talked to me first, thank God.

Okay. I was going to say, if he called him on the phone and he was like, yo, how much do you want? And he was like a half. Yeah. That's, that's weird. Right. Um, yeah. Yeah. It kind of starts with one on grams, but that got me thinking, how much drugs are you allowed to buy before it's an issue? And how little are you allowed to buy before you're a bitch? Do you want to do like a month, a month of drugs? Yeah. I was thinking, I was thinking more like in one sitting how much is

too much in one sitting how okay i like that did we just do blow here yeah sure just wait rephrase the question so how little make of blow makes you a bitch and how much makes you, you have an issue for one, like one sitting one night and it's just for me one night out for yourself. Yeah. I think anything over a personal gram is, is pretty fucking gnarly. Yeah.

It might be pretty easy here and it's just like two or a half. Like the thing is like one is, you know, you're going to share, you know, you're going to share it. But if this was like, Hey,

I'm not going to give any to anyone. I have to say everyone's got their own. Yeah. I think anything over a whole gram to the face by yourself is a lot it's also dangerous as fuck that's what i'm saying yeah not that it's not been done but i'm just saying i was gonna say it's not that dangerous it's and what makes you a bitch i don't know because i mean sometimes you'll like split a gram so you're not really a bitch but if you were to just get a half gram no no let's put it like this you got the gram how much how little of it can you do in one night and you're a bitch

maybe like two bumps three bumps that's i feel like two is four bumps two two bumps is like you might not don't even get it what's four bumps i think you're still a bitch if you do anything less than a quarter of it you're a bitch yeah if it looks the same yeah if it looks like if you could literally like give it to someone else and be like yeah here that quarter of it, you're a bitch. Yeah. If it looks the same. Yeah. If it looks like if you could literally like give it to someone else and be like, yeah, here, that's not even like you're a bitch.

It's just like, what? You're a psychopath kind of. Cause if you stop after that little, yeah. Well, I don't know if psychopaths the right word. It's more like you're,

you're a fucking more like you have a weapon. You can stop control. Yeah. You can just stop like that. It's more like a positive negative thing. Like you are capable of stopping when you should. can i give my for for what makes you a bitch is basically if you stop before it's gone it doesn't matter if you went crazy and you ordered two and you stopped before it was gone that's on you you're a bitch yeah i don't see i've never

seen someone make it through the whole night i've never seen a leftover bag in the morning that you knew about sure you forget about it in your pocket. Or unless you like ordered more at like 6 a.m. and then you're like, fuck, I'm not doing this. That doesn't happen. The fuck part, not the ordering it. That happens. Yeah, no, the ordering happens.

But the thing is though, that'd still be the one session. If you get it at 6 a.m., you're just going through the next day. And then you finish it in the session. 6 a.m. is tomorrow's session. The the next day yeah and then you finish it in the session 6 a.m is tomorrow's session the sash translates to the next day yeah exactly i've never heard of anyone ordering a half yeah i thought it was weird as fuck i'd block if i was the drug dealer i blocked her number yeah if i was a drug dealer and someone said can i get a half

yeah so i can totally get like splitting but ordering trying to order a solo half because then what are you going to do with that? You're going to not share that? Yeah, I guess that's just for your personal use only. Sick, dude. Sick fucking engine, bro. Yeah, I don't know. That's weird.

I don't like it at all. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. Let's see what else we got here. It does make me want to get a band. It does kind of urge me to. It's a summer solstice, boys. It's the longest day of the year we might as well do something we got to

take full advantage of the day should we do a little bit since this is the longest day of the year it is the longest day ever do we have any we could we'll save it for off we could we could oh yeah we don't need to debate this right yeah we'll cut this right right guys right guys you want me to rip some of mine yeah yeah go yeah i thought you had a fucking i've got a smorgasbord i gotta take these off to fucking read this a morguesborg um okay there we go this is it um what is so this i'm saying there's a minimum and a maximum here what's the cutoff for acceptable instagram followers before you'll even consider like pursuing a girl minimum i'm not too concerned about but it like if they have like like maybe a hundred so there's a couple schools of thought because if they have if they have super low i'm

like it's more this girl not hot oh no it's more concerning that is she that not hot no fuck that it's not that's not the concern It's what did she delete and restart? Why did you make a new one? Because if you're hot, you just don't not have them. Yeah, that's true. I think the ideal kind of pocket, if I may. Yeah, give me a range. I think an ideal little pocket is between 1,000 and like,

I'd say like 8,000. 10,000 is too many no matter say like 8,000. Ooh. 10,000 is too many no matter what. I don't think it's too many. I think anything over 20 is 100% too many. I'm just not joining that fight. No. Because I'm fighting against 10,000 dudes.

I'm out. I think 8,000 is way too high. I think one to 2,000. Yeah, I think in that range is better. Okay, yeah, I'm talking like dream girl. But I'm talking about if we're being realistic, I feel like most girls in san diego have like 10 000 followers because if you do okay if you have 8 000 followers only 500 or less are girls yeah that maybe if we could see the ratio that would be nice i mean you can acquire more friends

over your comments from girls going like oh my my God, Slay, fucking whatever. No, no, no. If you have 8,000 followers, at least 500 are girls. Around 500 are girls. 7,500 are dudes. It's an overwhelming majority. So that's a shit ton of DMs every day.

I'm just not joining that fight. Well, yeah, I think anything over 10 is not ideal anything over 20 is no yeah and it's not like a hard no it depends but like i wouldn't love it this might be me too i just feel like since i don't have that many followers that if i was dating a girl with that many and like we posted a picture on mine and it got like 250 likes that that would just be something that she would be upset about I did that in my mind like she's like oh we look really cute you should post that and it only gets 250 likes and she's like you're out I want 10,000 like yeah I mean I don't it's I don't like when they have a lot like if you if you meet

a girl and you follow my name they have like 1,700 followers I'm like let's go but what's the minimum there is a minimum let's say let's say it was a girl who didn't restart her instagram and she just had like i feel like a thousand for anyone who's had an instagram since like high school or college is a completely like if if i have that like more than that then that's fair yeah here's what i'm say. If you have less than a thousand, like you just, you don't really understand how the world works. Like you're very disconnected. You know what I'm saying? Does that make sense?

No, I think it just means you could just be like a fucking recluse. But that's what I'm saying. If you have less than a thousand, like you're so uninvolved on the internet, you don't really know what the fuck is going on. Yeah, well, maybe. Maybe they just keep a tight circle, dude.

Yeah, maybe they're just ganging out. Maybe we're missing out on those. They're on circle, dude. Yeah, maybe they're just ganging out. Maybe we're missing out on those under 100s. They don't let everybody in there? Every slobbering dog in the fucking house?

Yeah, no, that's good for sure. What I don't get is when people are private and they still have like 5,000 followers. I'm like, what's you just accepting

some shit that they don't want their dad to see? They've got parents that don't allow what they're posting and they can't let them see it.

Ooh, it could be that. Yeah, definitely. What was I just thinking? I love when he asks these. But like over 100K, whew. Oh, just retire. Danger zone. Yeah, don't even send that DM.

It's not getting to her. Oh, no, I'm saying like, what if you just like happen to actually meet in person? Oh, yeah, just quit. When you pull up to Instagram, just be like, hey, it was nice meeting you. I'm over it. There's no way you could compete with that do you have you guys seen the thing okay how could i wary i love how he has to translate his thoughts into human words yeah he

has to make it sound like he's got just a jumble of like an idea and then he has to literally translate it from code to thought well no cause it's so simple in his head. He's like, you think, you think the orange is cool. Okay. Yes. Come on.

So if a girl does have hella followers, do you think it's, unless it's her job, do you think it's fair to restrict? Like you don't want her fucking posting 10 stories of her just looking hot and shit, right? No,

I don't think it's fair to restrict anything. Well, what am I worried about? Hundreds of thousands of guys. I wouldn't restrict it. I would just be like, this is girls annoying as fuck, I'm out. Yeah, I just wouldn't be into that. I just wouldn't want to be involved with her.

I wouldn't go out of my way to be like- I'm never restricting. If I had to restrict someone from doing something, I would just be like- I mean, I guess it would come down to if they did post that stuff, I'd be like, hey, why are you posting that yeah exactly like what's what's your reasoning yeah i'd ask and if they kept doing it i'd just be like cool yeah if they

didn't have like a good reason they're just like yeah i mean i just i don't know yeah if they're like if their job is to fucking have a lot of followers and do be an influencer or post shit then yeah i mean do what you gotta do but if you're just doing it for absolutely no reason, just full attention. That's fucking stupid. Yeah. This is another one. How many times do you think you've missed an opportunity

with a chick who is for sure down, but you just didn't have any idea? Like a girl was just throwing herself at you and you're just blissfully fucking hanging out. At least a couple does. Right? Yeah. I know of like multiple that I found out of like years later like would you let me ask you this if whatever the number is would you want

if you could like pull it up right now and you could just see all your misconnections like every girl who was i'd be fuming would you want to see that or no i don't think i'd be able to handle it no what would really bother me is like high school stuff. Well, that's the, exactly. Yeah. That's almost more fair when, when there, there was way less going on. Like if you had maybe had ever like talked to one girl and there was like two other girls at the school that were, that would be even more heartbreaking. Yeah.

Cause there's just, that's when it's like way more, people are way shyer. Well, yeah. And yeah, it was probably far more. Yeah. They're like, oh, I posted a picture at Dunkin' Donuts and that one time we went to Dunkin' Donuts and you didn't like reply or anything yeah it's like oh fuck yeah that would just crumble my entire thought process because i mean i would love to pull it up for you say you got that yeah okay imagine if we got to pull up each other's right and you're just reading off

and you're like jay you're not gonna believe this remember remember summer 2018 yeah you're just like water bar absolute missile that walked by and you were like damn she's hot she was apparently not only was she into you she followed you on instagram and you didn't see it and follow her back yeah that would fuck you that would fuck your shit up because i'm thinking how many of those people even if you saw it was from like four years ago you're still gonna just shoot your shot with again or like how many times like like you know when a fucking waitress or something is being nice to you and you're like oh they're just being nice because it's their job but they were like hello

that's lower like i touched your shoulder like please i think that would break my heart i don't think i'd be able to handle because you always have that thought in your head where you're like hey right hey that barista was pretty flirty you're like no no no if i found out any of those girls i've been on an airplane with had something for me oh airplane ones would be game any fucking family vacation girls dude how many times you tell yourself in your head you're gonna say something and then just fuck it and you just absolutely back the fuck out and it's not maybe it wasn't even just that they would it's like they're you get to see like their thoughts oh my god like they're like wow he's really not even talking no i complimented his fucking

absolutely ruined my confidence for life if i saw that yeah i think that would be worse i think i would be worse after that like i'd be overthinking everything yeah because well because and then you it could go the other way too you could be like overly aggressive thinking every girl likes you like well that one girl liked me. Of course she does. Little Caesars pizza fucking. Pizza pizza girl. The pizza pizza girl wasn't down, so why wouldn't this one be?

My Uber driver in Miami that one weekend. So that was actually true. Oh shit. Why did that? A little Freudian sling. She actually did like me a lot. Classic. Okay, okay.

You want this thing? That's a good time. I don't know why that's where my mind went immediately. No, that's how reality is. Okay, this is a good one. This is from our resident master class here at Beaupre. This is free. You don't have to sign up.

They're not a sponsor. The topic is how to procrastinate successfully. The thing is you have to have your own definition of success. Okay, I like that. He's already procrastinating this thing. Do you want to succeed at

the objective or succeed at procrastinating? You want to succeed at procrast objective or succeed at procrastinating? You want to succeed at procrastinating. Okay, this one's really easy. Think about what you have to get done, right? And think about every micro aspect of it, whether they're easy or hard. But as you start to build up all these little things, it becomes, even if it's the easiest task, so much harder

because you've broken it down into the most tiny of steps, right? Let me just start with cleaning my room. First of all, I have to get out of bed. Okay. Right. Then that's a huge one. What would be the most obvious thing to do? Make your bed, right? Then if I want to clean my room, I want to feel clean. I got to take a shower. Ooh, I just remembered I'm out of shampoo. What am I going to do? Go to CVS just to clean my room? Nope. I'm out. Not cleaning the room. See what I mean? This is one of the things I think is really important. You have to not be sure when the thing has to be done by.

Oh yeah, no finite timeline. Like you're like, I'm pretty sure it's due at 12 or I'm pretty sure I have to be done by noon, but it could be three. I don't remember the email that well. So you kind of just, but you don't check it. Nope. You just put it off until like maybe an hour before when it was supposed to be done.

Then you check it and it was due two hours earlier. Nope. You just put it off until maybe an hour before when it was supposed to be done. Then you check it, and it was due two hours earlier. So you're just fully – that's one of the best elements. That's one of the best. Or even – well, it's easy either way. Skip, I'm confused. This whole time we're talking about this. See, for someone like me, like I said, a master, it's easy whether you have a deadline or not, right?

Because if there is a deadline – I know for a fact I'm not starting until a half hour before. If there isn't one, that's where you get to have a little more fun with it. You might do a little bit here, a little bit there. And then when you know you're getting danger close to the deadline, the other 90% of it right before it's due. Yeah, I think for me, as soon as I could perceive a speed bump, I'm out. Okay, speed bumps are big. And you need to make them up.

If they're not there, make them. Like if I don't have the Swiffer wet jet thing, like I may have another way to clean, but if I don't have the most convenient way, I'm out. Oh, yeah. Because the task itself is hard enough. So if I don't have the easiest way to do it available, not getting done.

This is one that's kind of specific to the task, but like it's like maybe like paying a bill or like a ticket or something like that. You need to keep it accessible, but not in sight. Yes. So like you, maybe it's on like your desk or something. You walk past it and you're like, Oh, I need to do that. But it's not where you're hanging out.

So you're constantly reminded of the task. Oh yeah. You're like, Oh, what did they say? I have a week to pay before it doubles. I'll do it later. And you're, so you're reminded of it but it's not close enough to you to bother you I always have something in my life

no matter where I'm at called the corner of fear and disappointment and it's typically like a drawer in a desk or something right now it's a little folder in the corner of my room and I put all the shit that I don't want to look at. But I know that if I check it, I'll remember.

So if I see that drawer, I don't even need to know what's in there. If I see that, I'll remember what needs to get done and I'll not fucking do it. That's a pro move too. This goes back to what you were saying earlier, adding speed bumps. Collect them. And put them all together. And put them in the same area. Yes, keep them all together.

So it's like I can't do just one unless I do all of them. Exactly. It builds up until it's so overwhelming but yet so detrimental to my life that I have to do it all. Because it's an eight hour corner but separately it's an hour a piece. Yeah, but I'm not going to spread an hour of my day over a week. I'd rather just bang out a whole day of misery.

But also not do that. But to do it all at once would be overwhelming. Yeah, so I can't do it all at once. This is another one. It's kind of niche as well. Setting alarms and timers and then turning them off and setting another one. Okay, so El Capitan here. So I'm going to start at 11.

The timer goes off at 11, and you look at it, and you're like, I could do it at 11.30. Oh, 100%. I could just push it off to 11.30. Set another one. Repeat. Rinse, repeat. Rinse, repeat. Rinse, repeat. Oh, yeah. My favorite is I'll be like, okay, I'll do this at 1130. Oh, 100%. I could just push it off to 1130. Set another one. Repeat. Rinse, repeat. Rinse, repeat.

Rinse, repeat. Oh, yeah. My favorite is I'll be like, okay, I'll do this in an hour. And then you just hit repeat timer. Put it off an hour. See, I just don't do this a lot. I knew this was going to be a tough one for you. That's why me and Garrett are kind of just boxing back and forth.

I'll take the lead on this one. This is kind of my forte. Yeah, but you guys definitely haven't figured out or not figured out, whatever. Well, it's all about, it basically comes down to the mentality. And the mentality is there's no way I could do it. And then you Tarantino it from there. I can't do it. But why?

Here, here, here. And then all of a sudden you're at where you're at right now. And it's like, well, all those things are in the way. I can't. Well, a lot of the times it's like, I was absurd to even think that I could do it in the first place. So me putting it off was just like me realizing there was no way I could do this. Here's another part of it too that we haven't even talked about.

You have to get addicted to the high of finishing something right before it needs to be done. You have to love that. Oh, no. My favorite addiction is doing 80% of it. Oh, and you're finishing it? I'll do like I have like my like my everyday laundry like underwear socks and like shirts i wear a lot i keep in like an important like that gets full the fastest then i have like white shirts that i don't wear too often it could be wrinkly they're like nicer stuff

that i'll like i'll wear once a month at the most so i'll like go through and like the the important ones start to overflow into the other ones. And then I'll just do one of them instead of doing them all three. Yeah. And then you have your bed sheets. Those just stay on. No, those get done more than you'd think.

Which is never. No, those get done. No, I've seen them done. I've done them a couple times. I've seen them done. Always a big hiccup for me is if I forget a password or I need to make an email or I need to make something to do the thing. Oh, that's been fucking ravishing my life lately.

Cause you got a new computer. No, just cause I was working with this new company. I have to get all their passwords and then all the verification is through them. So it's like if I'm trying to set something up and then they send a two-factor password to somebody else's phone and then I'm just like, no, it's tomorrow. Well, I mean, if someone else is a part of it, you might as well do it. Oh, yeah. I'm talking if it's solely up to me and that happens,

still not do it. Yeah, that's an easy not going to do it right there. Oh, I have to call somebody? Yeah. No. Yeah. Dude, two-factor identification can just lick my fucking whole ass. Yeah, it'll probably save our asses at some point in the future, but. Yeah, hopefully. AI is fucking whole ass. Yeah, it'll probably save our asses at some point in the future. Yeah, hopefully. AI is big on that.

Yeah, so that pretty much sums it up. And class. That was good. I feel like people learned from that, honestly. Okay, let's see here. Which one of us could get away with hanging out by a kid's playground the longest before the cops get called? Or a better way of asking it is who's getting it called quickest what are we wearing what are you wearing right now

if i'm wearing this i'm for sure out well so i think i think for personally it would be morgue and it's not necessarily anything about his looks which i mean that's already part of it but he would be so stressed out because he wouldn't be doing something. He'd just have to be hanging out by a park that he would look nervous and weird. He'd look like he's about to do something. He'd have like the shakes going.

Yep. But who do I think? Probably trying to hang out with a kid. Yeah. I think Garrett could give the older brother vibes. The longest. I think Garrett would blend in the most. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Like he's just a little bit older than the kids. Yeah, I can see that. Like his parents just don't let him play video games and he has to go to the park. Yeah, you could probably get away with it for a good amount of time. Yeah. Or no, he's like that weird kid and like hiding in the top of the slide or something.

Oh, yeah, he's waiting for it. As long as I can resist touching the kids, i'd get away with it and you can't yeah i've seen it so we'll go garrett for that um what else we got we got um oh this is a good one what's the lamest thing you've pretended to like to get a girl like you her in the essence of it yes yeah more than anything else yeah mm-hmm let me think about this I'm talking like they say something like they're really into like baking or whatever. Maroon 5 was a tough one for me. Ooh, Maroon 5. Yeah.

Music is a tough one. I had a girl that was obsessed with Maroon 5 and I was just like, I fucking despise them. For some reason, I'm really good at getting into the astrology stuff when it's brought up. I mean, I can back that up because it's kind of interesting because it's like funny if you pretend to like believe in it for a second you're like sure it's kind of well it's kind of two-faceted right it is kind of interesting but it's also fun to make fun of so you can kind of pretend you're interested while also making fun of it yeah well yeah making fun of it is the easiest way to but that's not pretending you're interested in

it no but in a way i'm talking like they bring something up and you're like, oh yeah. I was just actually doing that last week. Okay, so you aren't sarcastic. Let me go back. Yeah, like you actually are like, maybe you made a joke about something earlier and she didn't take it well and you're like, oh, I have to like stuff. Okay. Yeah, let me think about it. Let me go back in time here.

Yeah, music's a big one, I feel like. If they just have like an obsession with something that you just fucking hate. And then you kind of dig yourself a hole on that one sometimes. Because you're like, oh, they're coming to town. We should go. Oh, my God. Let me go back to high school. I mean.

Or you get caught on that one. They'll start playing the music and you don't know the songs. Oh, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, I'd be like in the car every Sunday morning. Guess what song? Sunday morning. I'm like, fucking kill me. Fuck. And then she thought it was like our song

I fucking hate this song You're stuck with it forever Every time you get in the car she's like Looking at you hey Every time she picks you up It's Adam and the boys Fuck I feel like if I gave this some proper thought, I could think of some shit,

but it's hard right now. It is a hard one to think of off the top of your head because it's not stuff that you're going to remember. You're not going to remember these lies. I can't think of who, but I remember getting myself caught in a pickle with what comedian was it?

Just pretending I liked this one comedian and just having to watch like every one of his specials. Oh no. Yeah. It was someone like God awful. It's important for me to try not to rely on things like that, that you would have to actually do like in the moment. Like if it's like,

like something, some activity that's bullshit, like they fucking like to paint, go painting or something. I'm like, oh yeah, I love painting. It's not like they're going to break out an easel. an easel hiking hiking got stuck with a hiker in high school a hiker yep you don't like

to hike dude of course you don't like that oh i don't like that dude i love hiking no you do not look at me trying to cover up his lies right now i love hiking what and we just saw it in literal action like religiously like three four days a week no i actually do like to hike because that's the only free thing there is to do on earth no during covid Because that's the only free thing there is to do on earth. No, during COVID. I know. You're a good one. Fucking hikes all over. I swear to God.

Oh, this one's going to water. No, this is why I stopped hiking during COVID. never went again no during covid i went stopped i went on so i went on one hike and this is why i've never been big into it and then i went on one and whoa no during covid i went to go on one hike because you couldn't do anything outside hadn't seen people i live by myself hadn't seen people in other live by myself. I hadn't seen people in weeks. Oh, this is when you were in LA. Yeah. And then I went there and there's like 1,500 people out.

It was a crowd on a hike. That's the only thing you were allowed to do. And I was like, I'm not doing this. I can't believe you never even went on one. No, I have hiked the Hollywood sign a number of times. It was his first date every single time. It's free. What could I get away with for a free date? if i go to be in nature and there's other oh and a guy told me to go fuck myself for not

wearing a mask on a hike and i was like what the fuck oh my god jesus i came i came out here to be away from people and there's a crowd yeah sorry i went outdoors so you did not expect this i was over that shit real quick rei sponsor him. But I do love to hike. Backpacker, hiker, camper, all of it. Outdoorsman. This is a good one here. I fucking loved that one. Just for the record, that one was great.

That one made me happy. What's the adult version of jumping and touching the door jam when you're a kid or carrying a bunch of chairs in church? Chug alcohol to impress a girl to impress a girl yeah uh in college it was definitely chugging alcohol or like shotgunning yeah shotgunning fast i see i don't think i think that's more for the bros i think that's like saying yeah that's 225 i don't think girls touching the tall things for the bros too no that's for the chicks no but that was all they love that he's got a point though. That is multifaceted. If you could do that and another guy couldn't,

you're just like, what's up? Oh yeah. That body. Yeah. Okay. Okay. But I think,

um, um, having an Amex card, I was going to say, I was going to say buying the like drinks for everybody and being like, no, no, no,

you don't have to pay me. Oh, like for a whole group. Like, Oh, let me Venmo you. And you're like, no,

don't worry about it. I got this. I got this. Yeah. Or being the only one with a bag i mean come on yeah that has legs making sure the old one drugs yeah making sure or you have a bag at like a very opportune time that no one else does yeah like you wait till everyone else's runs out that's like being the first kid that could junk in like middle school or something oh hell yeah you're the last guy to pull out a bag. Oh, I've got some. Oh, whoa. That's as close as you can come to having a superpower.

Yeah, for sure. Yeah, that might as well have been what's your superpower that you want. That takes the cake just in general. Yeah. There's more guys and the girls. There's more. There's more adult versions that aren't drug related.

Ooh, like pulling into like a fucking-ass parking spot on the first try. Like parallel parking and timing it up. Parallel parking in one turn. You don't even have to scoot forward. You just nail it that hard. But it's tight, though. Yeah. They're like, oh, I don't think you can fit.

And you're like, I got this. Yeah. That's good. That's good. That is good. I think backing into a parking space in general might be one. You mean parallel or back and up? No, just backing into a place that you would normally pull in. I think backing into a parking space in general might be one. You mean parallel or back and up? No, just backing into a place that you would normally pull in front.

Just backing into a spot. Yeah, that's pretty cool. That's pretty good. That's pretty damn cool. There's other shit. Let me think. Let me think. What do I do all the time?

What is something I do in my daily life? That's just so cool. Let's just think about this. You're in a group. You just walk up. It's us. There's a group of girls. What are you doing to make yourself cooler?

Dude, fucking busy street. Just fucking crossing when the crosswalk sign's not on. That is good. And commanding the whole group to follow you. But also, maybe not even just that. Maybe timing it perfectly to you start walking before it turns. You know it's going to turn. Yeah.

And you're like, obviously you're like in the corner of your eye looking at like a countdown on the other one. You get to zero. You're like, come on, let's go. Yeah.

You're like seeing the yellow light. Let's hit, let's blow this possible stand. Ooh. Speaking of the traffic lights thing, like, uh, like knowing it's going to turn green,

timing a red. Nah, it's not red that's not you ever you ever like recommended a drink at a restaurant and then like everyone's like oh i want the same thing oh that is a really good one revving your motorcycle super loud fucking rip so cool that fucking ghost there's a guy that lives in this building that does that every fucking night. I want to beat the shit out of him. No, that guy should be fucking killed. Yeah. Right.

Just because he's not me. He was doing it for so long. Like Morgan went on the balcony and there was like a guy like talking to another guy, like standing outside his car. Just revving that shit? No, no. They were like behind him. And Morgan's like, what the fuck?

Like screams. And the guys are like right behind them. Like, yeah, what a fucking loser. Right? Like they're like yelling at like, just like. Like, yeah, what a fucking loser, right? Like they're like yelling at like, just like I get pussy though. If he does that on a group of chicks, holy shit.

I bet he does. Yeah, dude. Do you think carrying the chairs worked? What do you think is the reinforcement behind having a fucking, I mean, I guess you had to have gotten laid at least once from it. Oh, there's girls who would definitely have sex

with these two motorcycles. Like girls without teeth love motorcycles. Or a fucking necktie or something. Yeah. That's the only way though, right? Yeah, you're rigging some fucking biker trogs. Yeah, if you can set off a car alarm with your fucking rev dude, you get laid. Okay, I would fuck you if you could do that.

If you set off an alarm. If you could do it on one take, I'd fuck you. Yeah. Yeah. I get it. It kind of makes sense. And peel out of a parking lot. Just bleep.

Like set off a car alarm while you're wheeling and then just dip out. That's sick. That's sick. That's fucking cool. That guy rails pussy. You know what is an unexpected one but hit super hard in high school for some reason? The guy that could do a wheelie on a bike for like a long period of time. Oh, like continue doing it?

Yeah. Yeah. We had this one. I mean, that might as well have been a tray flip. Yeah. It's just cool. Tray flip. Oh, yeah. If you could tray flip in middle school. On demand. Tray flip rig Yeah. Yeah. We had this one. I mean, that might as well have been a tray flip. Yeah. Yeah. It's just cool. Tray flips. Oh, yeah.

If you could tray flip in middle school. On demand. Tray flip. Rigged. Yeah. If someone said hit a tray flip and you did that. Because I could do that. And I remember it was sick.

And you broke your wrist eight times. Yeah. I might have landed two in my life. Yeah. Skateboarding is one of the most difficult fucking things to learn for sure. It is fucking hard. You have to learn it like super young. Oh, this is a good one. This is a good good one saying you haven't seen that movie to a girl

when you mention a good movie and you're just like oh my god you haven't seen that oh you haven't seen inception are you kidding me yeah they hate that they love that that's the easiest way to get laid in the world yep just and you just start listing old movies from like the 80s, the Robert De Niro. You're like, oh, you've never seen Remember the Titans? Or playing any sort of like fucking like knowledge-based game. Like you didn't know that. Oh my God. They love that.

Girls love that. Game over. They love that. Yeah, just looking smarter than another guy. Yeah. Or looking smarter than another guy, but not intentionally looking smarter than another girl. They don't actually love that.

That was the joke. Yeah. They'm looking smarter than another guy, but not intentionally looking smarter than another girl. They don't actually love that. That was the joke. Yeah. They hate that. Oh, you didn't fucking know that? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Being a feminist. Yes. Yes.

That is absolutely pussy city. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's just like being like, dude, the ginger wake up. Having pronouns. Oh, pronouns. That rips. That is a cheat code. That r ginger wake up. Having pronouns. Oh, pronouns. That is a cheat code. Painting your nails.

That rips. Okay, I think I have one more. Do you have anything else? No, that was good. That was a good one. What's your best worst excuse for staying out late with the boys? Like to a girl? Yeah.

Like say this probably be a girlfriend situation. To a girlfriend, yeah. Or I mean, if you want to include this in there, maybe like you said you were going to hang out with a girl and then you ditched it to hang out with the boys

but you like want to hang out there in the future so you come up with an excuse. A timeless classic is my phone died. Oh, phone died's good. I used to just have that fucker off, baby. Yeah, just turn it off. Yeah. You still do that with me. I have an old phone. Battery dies quick. phone died's good i used to i used to just have that fucker off baby yeah just turn it off yeah

you still do that sorry i have an old phone battery dies quick this is when i saw this why it made me think of this someone said um sorry i was i mopped myself into a corner and i had to wait for it to dry and i fell asleep i mopped myself into a corner and had to wait for it to dry i don't know if there's a best for this because you already lost if you have to answer it. I was reading the comments on that one. And one of the things that said the stupider the excuse, the more true it probably is for guys. That's true. Yeah, absolutely.

That guy probably actually mopped himself in a corner. Yeah, something like super rational is when they start raising questions. Like if your phone's dead. Yeah, no service, phone's dead, fell asleep. Family emergency, something like that. But if you say like, oh, I lost track of time because I got 12 episodes deep and chopped. I wanted to see how they're going to use arugula in the last basket. I was two seasons away from our two episodes away from the finale and I just

simply couldn't put it. I didn't even see the sun go down because I was wearing a fucking ski mask inside. The worst excuse. I'm out too late. I'm with the boys. I don't think I've, I've never like none of them are good because I've never,

none of them have ever worked for me. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I've never won. Well, that's why they're the best worst. Yeah. The worst one you thought was going to work. I'm going to imagine you in a kitchen at 5 a.m. with your boys

and you're trying to craft the text and this is what you came up with. I've had that happen too. They said you weren't the best girlfriend in the world? Was it an argument with the boys? I've had where they, we were sitting around complimenting you all night. Okay, that's the best. That's the best girlfriend in the world? Was it an argument with the boys? We were sitting around complimenting you all night? Okay, that's the best.

Write that down. We couldn't stop making compliments for you. Oh, I've literally had one of my personal favorites that actually kind of worked was saying that one of the boys was going through girl trouble and we all had an advice circle for him all night. Oh, that's good.

That'll work for sure. Especially if she has some sort of insight to where he is oh yeah no it was like one of our really close friends i know i remember exactly what i'm circle was just a slamming beers yeah he was going through a rough patch so we got an eight ball 330 he's going through a rough patch so we're trying to hook him up with a waitress all night so we invited the fucking chili's entire staff oh that's good shit oh that's fucking rips yeah maybe maybe try and come up with one for next week like a really good one a really good one there is one there's one there's one we had uh but that's i think that's the end for me i think that's all i had yeah that was we got we got some are we at time yeah

yeah we're at that time well that was a fun one yeah that was a good one that was yeah i feel like it was insightful informative we learned a lot we always do we found the titanic people oh yeah wait we said we're gonna look it up at the end oh yeah yeah wait did they find the submarine the first thing on search which can confirm the missing submarine no are they past the oxygen nope they haven't no wait hold on this is an angle you didn't think of what if you find them and it is what i said and one guy just killed them all and he's that's the reason why he's alive that'd be fucking unreal is that is that fair at that point yeah yeah are do you get out of that no no i think

that might be a weird thing where you're like fighting for your life you could say they tried to kill you yeah you could make up any story there especially if it was like the guide they were like oh they were going to kill me first because they were all buddy buddy yeah you could make up anything or you could just say they died

like the oxygen got low and they died not if there was a fucking knife stab in their neck oh that's true wait is it would it be considered self-defense no matter what i mean if there's 96 hours of oxygen and if you kill them all you get the live longer defense against the time no i think that would

be murder but i think in that scenario you could you could make up almost any fucking story yeah you could make something up here's the thing though how fucked would it be if he did that and then still died that's fine because then they were gonna die anyway but like okay so imagine they find it does it float no it's supposed it's supposed floats that's why the problem that we're having is it floats yet it's missing at the bottom of the ocean well it float eventually no no okay i mean it could it could be floating currently

but clearly something went wrong it's supposed to we don't know where it is let's just say that so yeah it has ballast that keeps it down what they do is release that that fucking water that they keep on board and then it fills with air or then it's just all right all right let's let these people get back to their day you go get back to your day are they past the oxygen time limit yes okay yeah so they're they're gone why can't they find it yeah well all right good stuff fun time 46 chugging dicks yep that's we stay chugging dicks we will have we have any any sort of consistency we can tell these people when we're gonna be posting episodes did we even post last week's yet

yeah last week's is up dude okay we are trying do we just want to say Friday so that we don't have to like rush through the week

we do need to set a day because it was supposed to be Wednesday and it's Wednesday today yeah let's just do it's no FOMO Fridays it's Fridays for Fridays

from now on it's Fridays put that at the start yeah episodes will be available Friday we'll see you on, it's Fridays. Put that at the start. Episodes will be available Friday. We'll see you on Friday. Friday's at 9am. Don't give them too much. Don't give them too specific.

Did you see in the comments recently, some guy was literally like, this is the most inconsistent podcast in the world, but I love you guys. It wouldn't be us if it was consistent. Keep them on their toes. We're changing up weekly. Yeah. New episodes weekly. Turn on notifications. Listen here.

Turn on your post notifications and it'll be there. Yeah. That's what they're there for. They'll let you know. Yeah. Get fucked. Get fucked. See you.

Stay on land. Yeah, land up. Get fucked. All right. See you guys next week.