NO FOMO - 48. Bonus Holes Are In

Episode Date: July 7, 2023

🔔 Subscribe & Follow: https://linktr.ee/nofomopod 🎽 Merch: https://www.bonfire.com/store/no-fomo/ Welcome Back Fomosapiens. This week we go balls deep in Garrett's bonus hole and celebrate our 2nd annual down bad olympics. Let's Evolve Together, NO FOMO. Support the Podcast: Get 20% OFF @manscaped + Free Shipping with promo code NOFOMO at MANSCAPED.com!

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back, back, back, back to the Monster Chicken FOMO Show. Now it's FOMO. Well, here we are. All right. The recovery episode. The recovery episode. No. With three guys after my own heart, and I'm after theirs.

No. Not recovered, or you don't like the title? I don't like anything right now. That's what I'm saying. Do you want the down-bat Olympics? What do you like title? I don't like anything right now. That's what I'm saying. Do you want the down bad Olympics? What do you like better? I don't like anything. Under what umbrella term could you succeed? Nothing brings me joy anymore.

It's over. I have a hype up game down bad style. Down bad hype up? Yeah, hit it. You remember how to play? Yeah, did you already do it though? Okay, you guys how to play Yeah, did you already do it though? Yeah, okay? Okay? You guys ready game time game time? All right, you guys remember how to fucking play

Yeah, I'm not in the movie. Oh boy. No one trust me trust me. You're not in the movie. We're gonna love this It's gonna hype you up. You're gonna love this look at my little Gary. Oh, yeah, trust me Good luck make sure your feet aren't in the picture because it's gonna to scare people off. Yeah. I got it covered with the iPad. Okay, good. I'm going to get touched by the camera. Okay, here we go. It's almost the weekend again. Oh.

Got plans with my blankies. Yeah. The group chat is making plans already. No. Airplane mode. Yeah. A baddie hit me up. No.

Airplane mode. Yeah. My best buds show up unannounced. No. With ice mode. Yeah. My best buds show up unannounced. No. With ice cream. Yes. Ran out of snackies. No.

Went and got more. Yes. Pillows too warm. Turned it around. Yeah. Woke up at 2 p.m. Don't fucking care. I like it. I'm back. I'm back. Those were flow at 4 a.m. I was like you

know what this really needs to about be about is what the fuck just happened yeah well cuz I was like trying to I was trying to be in like a super would be good after snackies run I was trying to be in a super... What would be good after Snacky's run out? I was trying to think of an upbeat, like things are good, but things are not good, you know? No, things are shaky. I've been struggling to keep my eyes open for more than 10 minutes at a time. Most definitely.

Yep. I back-to-back slept in from... Well, so the whole thing was leading up to 4th of July. Missed the entire fourth of july did not even step outdoors when the sun was up i woke up at 8 p.m on fourth of july so he did all this pre-bendering didn't even make it to fourth july pre-bendering term of the week and then got up saw the fireworks and then stayed up all night that night now does does a pre-bender not just go into a bender i mean well it was just a longer bender well no the pre-bender not just go into a bender? I mean, well, it was...

It's just a longer bender? Well, no. The pre-bender was like... The big day was 4th of July. It was the reason for the season. Yeah. Right. And I didn't even participate in the actual main event.

In the actual season? You know what I mean? It's like all month you go celebrating Christmas, and then you miss the 25th. It's kind of illegal that it's on a middle... Like, a Tuesday is fucked up. Yeah, well, I'm... Because that's... I don't think it's ever been on a Tuesday. It's the most blasphemous thing I've ever heard. Just wait until next year when it's on a middle like a tuesday is fucked up yeah well i'm because that i don't think it's ever been on a tuesday so the most blasphemous just wait till next year when

it's on a fucking wednesday is it and we go the week before and the weekend oh that's wednesday is gonna be fucked because at least some people got monday off like half i would say half and half people got monday off before and then they had tuesday off obviously wednesday you're not getting monday tuesday i feel like this the wednesday might be safer because you'll actually just start on Wednesday and then maybe carry it through that week. No, even harder than that. You're going to be like, oh, I'm really not going to be able to do anything on Wednesday

except to work Thursday and Tuesday. And you're like, I'm going to go hard this weekend. People are going to have to work on Thursday. People have jobs. No, I think you take Thursday off and then you just take Friday off. I think people take Thursday, Friday off. Thursday and Friday off. I don't think jobs are going to allow that.

I don't think very many people will let that happen they're cracking down yeah well i mean we have employers don't like that i don't think yeah just random days off after holidays yeah that's fair they don't like you to do anything you guys hearing a holiday into a five-day weekend yeah i'm gonna have wednesday off from fourth and i'm gonna take thursday friday and then saturday sunday maybe take monday off i'm pre-apologizing to the listeners because i developed a cough over the weekend. It's better than the sniffs. I'll try to keep it away from them.

I haven't had the sniffs in a minute. Dude, thank Christ. I used to just hate you. It's because I didn't stop doing cocaine. Do we want to continue the down bad hype? I got some fun news. Yeah, hype it up, dude. Roll with your hype, dude.

Hype it up, brother. Put a lot of thought into this. I love when he's all excited to go to the next thing. He just can't. He's like, we're done talking about it. Let's go. Let's go. Well, no.

Yeah, yeah, run it. I'm hyped up. Dude, I put a lot of fucking thought and effort into these. Okay. Okay. Which Hangover superpower would you rather have? Everything on Netflix is a fucking banger. 10 out of 10.

That's a big one. Levitation. What the levitation what the fuck with the point you're in bed and you're in the bed and you just fucking levitate over the fucking next next you don't like that one okay next one not that one snap a snack snap a snack snap oh that's hot cheetos yeah that would be okay is that free or do i have to pay for that it's a superpower so like oh ice cream sorry like i can select it and it's free yeah like i'm like i'm like oh sucky top that's a sucky top g-raid yeah whatever you want you're sucking down yeah my guys uh lastly I pissed was orange yesterday. I needed something. And then the last one is unlimited head rubbies and back scratchies.

Ooh. I think you guys didn't like levitating. No, I don't. I don't get the premise. I would. It would be over to the fucking fridge. Oh,

you're just horizontal. Okay. Yeah. I didn't get the move. Can I cook, please? I didn't get the move. Yes, you don't. I thought you're just horizontal, full horizontal in the air. Okay, okay. Yeah, let me cook. I didn't get the movement. Can I cook, please? I didn't get the movement. Yes, you don't. I thought you were saying, like, I'm just in there, like, you look in the room and I'm just floating above my bed. I was like, is that just to scare everybody?

No, I'm saying, oh, I need water. No, it's like, I need water. Blanket stays on, you're just... The snapper stack fixes that, though. I think sna water. Blanket stays on. You're just going to snap. Snap-a-snack fixes that, though. I think Snap-a-snack fucked on all of that. No, I think for me, it's got to be Netflix because I could have unlimited snacks. I could levitate. But if I have to watch fucking bullshit.

Yeah, but I'm up around for hours. But if I'm housing like unlimited fucking snacky wax, I'm down to watch a shitty movie. I kind of prefer watching shitty movies when I'm hungover because I never stay awake for him anyway That's true. Yeah, that's so we love shitty hungover movies. Yeah. Yeah, we do love the bad good Like I watch a good movie when I'm feeling up good. Yeah, I'm not ready for it So I'm game for a shitty movie and unlimited fucker snacks. Are you kidding me? Snap a snap? How big of a how how extravagant can the snacks be though? Because are you talking snacks or can I get like a fucking meal? That's not a snack. That's a meal. Okay. What's like the upper, upper limit of this?

It can't be like a heated. I feel like as a food. Okay. No hot items. It's like, it's out of a, it's out of a container. It's out of a container. Yeah. Okay. But like ice cream is fair game. Ice cream, ice cream, ice cream. All I need is ice cream and chips and that kind of shit anyway. So snap a snack, snap a snack for sure. Are we all going to agree, or is Jay out on this one? No, I think I'm on Netflix. Dude, I think I'm going to go head rubbies and back scratchies. I knew you were going to go that. Yeah, just all day.

That would be next level. Well, I would take that. That doesn't even have to be a hungover thing. I just appreciate that. Yeah, yeah. That would be a good all-the-time superpower. Yeah, that's a good all-the-time superpower. Yeah, that would be lit.

Split decision. It would be depending on who's doing it. Like, is that person just completely silent? Doesn't say a fucking word. Well, it's me. Then no. Yeah. It's got to be something cute.

Yeah. It's either someone that I want to be there or they're just completely silent. So it's cool if it's Garrett, but not me. Yeah. I like Garrett doing it with his feet. Yeah. Yeah. Talons.

Fuck off. feet. Yeah, yeah Okay, yeah if it's a if there's a soft touch of a woman Except for levitate dude levitate well levitate a little bit more underrated cuz you know painful It is like stand up to even like do anything so I'm saying but all the other ones made it so you don't have to Do anything that's true, but I think about every attack makes levitation But if you have to go to the bathroom, you're just, I keep a catheter in.

Okay, fair enough. I'll just pee into the fucking Gatorade. Just pee in the Hot Cheetos? Yeah, I'll have so many empty fucking Gatorade bottles, I'll just piss into that. Okay, fine. That's fair. Good work around?

Yep. Okay. On the op. Fuck. There he is. We've all got the fucking vape lug. We've got the ick vape look at the ick Okay on the other side of the coin which hangover scenario would piss you off the most

fall every time you stand up Spill every drink you get Someone keeps pulling the blanket off you so God the lights will not fucking turn off Or always smells like fart. i don't mind the last one yeah that's just normal life with you that's just living with morgan so morg's around yeah morgan's there actually yeah get rid of that one i mean stealing the blankie is also a morgue one too yeah no what would i hate the most hanging out with morgue when i'm hung over or what were the other options or pissing the fall every time you stand up uh i wouldn't stand up that much so that yeah i'd avoid that

easily probably spilling the drink would be the most annoying because that fucks up your whole sitch right that you got a little wet spot and like you need a fucking but i have to get another drink where the light will not fucking turn off though if the lights were permanently stuck on i would suck but i could nook under a blanket if i could no. Yeah, I could nook. I could get some glasses. Yeah, it would suck to spill a fucking Gatorade on yourself. Yeah, especially if it's just I was just thinking water. You're fucking shaking

trying to take a sip and you just spill a whole drink every time. That's kind of a more garty. And you need that. Yeah, that's a necessity. And then you have to get up and get another one.

That'd be miserable. Yeah, that would be tough. Yeah, I don't love that one. We didn't even talk about our twisted twee armor either. Oh, yeah, we could do a little. Explain the picture. Yeah do a little explain the picture yeah we know that I fully did not think that that was ever gonna see the light of day yeah I wasn't expecting a post so and then you did so well our social media our social media team just went

ahead and threw that up yes but I feel like the caption really did it the point five girls yeah that was that sealed it in well yeah you could yeah we know that we had one of the more interesting weekends. Yeah, I feel like we could talk about that one. Because we only really did one thing the entire six days, and that was go to a concert. Be in this living room. The other five days, we just sat here and played video games

and wore Tormor. Cried, laughed. There was a 48-hour span where we drank eight cases of twisted teas between what five people i think it was more four people yeah it was a lot no maybe it was just that 124 hours when we drank eight yeah so after staying up all night the first night and then as soon as we from when we took the mushrooms till nighttime i think we had at least 84 what's that how many fucking 12 times yeah so we stayed up all night and then what at noon the next day

we were so hungover we were like should we just take some mushrooms and that was honestly the smartest play it made us feel I felt so much better that cured me dude and then we stayed up what till like 4am again that night I was literally dancing in the center of the living room.

Dude, that was insane. You were gigging my time. John was just silent with the glasses on, standing up, just dancing forever. And I could not have done that. It was so fucking hilarious. You don't even dance ever. I know. And you were dancing.

I was fucking new shit, too. I feel like we were all on like a unique vibe. It was new shit. I was, but any moves new for me. We were all on some new shit that night. That was crazy. I've never cried laughing more times in my phone. Oh my god the monologues The model was great. It was a lot of my

Conversation back and forth there was a lot of model. That was a lot of one person in court Switch to the next cycle guy by every time Yeah, let's what did you guys end up even doing on the fourth i didn't make it uh the fourth we just had some people over at the house i remember checking my checking by my friends and everyone was there yeah it's just a little glizzy down backyard and i could not i couldn't make it it was funny all the girls were there and like there wasn't enough people there for them to talk shit either there wasn't enough of them to gossip about

other people or only the people there are the people they don't gossip about so they were just lost well were they they're staring at each other like what at one point it was just two of them trying to make it happen yeah oh yeah they're like pushing it and everyone's like uh there's not a lot going on really sorry yeah oh my god they're just sitting there like staring at they were watching baseball that's how i know they were. Wait, but how cool are fireworks for eight seconds? Not even, yeah. One explosion is pretty good, and then you're good off that. That was crazy.

Yeah, was it? Could you guys see them pretty well? We actually went and tried to watch them. Oh, really? We went up to the hill by Bay Park and then watched the whole. Dude, we went to this rooftop across the street, and just every single spot where they were there's just a fucking building right in front of them oh yeah yeah we had a little bit

of that too yeah we also we're in like a cul-de-sac on like side of the hill and there's just like random people out there so they're actually enjoying it so you can't be too down about it oh yeah i made like one joke i was like wow cool we're done now and then like they looked back and like everyone i was with was just absolutely shit face in there they were like it was like literally a full-on rager there was like they didn't even stop the music for the fireworks they were just blasting a fucking dj the whole time and everyone was like turns around for like two seconds like yeah that was cool just gets proceeds to get smashed again i was like when we've got stuff like this... Nothing sacred.

Nothing sacred. Nothing sacred, yeah. There's no light on anymore. Well, they found fucking cocaine in the White House, so I think... Yeah, that is sacred. Did you guys look into that at all? Not really. There's not really a lot to look into.

They found it. They don't know who it was. They don't know how it got there. Dude, the article's pretty fucking funny. Let me pull this up. I think everyone has a hunch. Can you tell me what news source you're reading it from? If you don't say CNN, I'll be fucking blocked.

New York something? Okay, okay. It's just funny how it reads. There's a high-octane mystery afoot at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. What news source is this? An unknown culprit brought cocaine into the west wing of the white house over the weekend leading to a brief evacuation on sunday night they evacuated for coke they brought in i guess they thought it was like fucking anthrax or something okay you know

what it was they didn't they didn't a tiny little baggie like that yeah they didn't know dude the confounding caper has captured the focus of the secret service which is now investigating how a small this you no i'm not this well written what news source is this this is fucking new york times okay you got a sub which is now investigating how a small baggie made its way into what the agency has described as a work area of the west wing a work area who could be this careless while we technically don't have any investigator investigatory power below our four potential suspects it says holiday tourist a stressed out staffer a prodigal son or an inside job i i truly do think it had to be like if i had to guess who it was it was whoever's in charge of like making sure that like biden is like awake enough to do the job yeah they always have that guy's on fucking the clock he's just feeding biden

key bumps but well no i'm not even saying like giving it to him like his oh he's just literally so focused he just has to be on yeah like it's like oh he's drooling in the seat again it's like he just has to be awake yeah but wait who the okay if you find cocaine in someone's house people get arrested well they don't know whose it was if i go to court and say i don't know whose it was well but it's in your house okay but also if they find it in a middle of an amazon like packaging facility they're not going to arrest everyone that works there yeah but the white house yeah but let's get some arrests and there's a lot of people that live there and work there you're saying you're saying arrest biden i'm saying arrest somebody if they don't arrest

somebody this is fucked up well how are they gonna know whose it was can i not just say that in court then i don't know who's yeah but this that's different than your house it's more of a workplace they said it's in a working if they found it it's like finding it in the if they found it at sea world they're not gonna be like oh it was someone here we're gonna arrest somebody can i not want biden to get arrested you can't you can just say that that's what you want yeah fair that could be expressed um let's see here i got a fun question for this if biden actually did the bag what event would he excel most at a second grade spelling bee hopscotch eating with chopsticks or a thumb war with an eight-year-old the thumb war with an eight-year-old? The thumb war with an eight-year-old, because he'd be down to touch the kid.

He'd probably do that off nothing. I bet you that would wake him the fuck up. If we got an eight-year-old in here to fucking thumb wrestle, you'd be like, oh. How about just finishing a fucking sentence in general? Yeah, that would be sick as well. But yeah, I guess the eight-year-old, he's like fucking. Yeah, that would wake him up no coke. Just that I guess the eight year old, he's like, yeah, he'd be, I would wake him up. No Coke.

Like just that sentence. He'd come at like, he'd flash back to when he was 40. Yeah. He's fucking, he's a crazy man. Ladies. We all know it's hot girl summer. We're going to take a break from the show. All right, ladies.

We're going to pause the show for a second. All right, ladies. Morgan's got something to say. God damn it, Garrett. Read it up, baby. All right, ladies and gents, we're going to take a quick break from the show for a second. All right, ladies and gents. Morgan's got something to say. God damn it, Garrett. Read it up, baby. All right, ladies and gents, we're going to take a quick break from the show because... You better not cut this shit. What do you mean?

Just read the ad you in. We're taking a break, baby. Ladies and gents. Hold on just a sec. We're going to take a break. Give me a break. Be right back after the break. Give me a break.

Give me that Morgan bar Give me a break. That manscape bar. Hey, ladies and gentlemen, we're going to take a quick break for Manscaped, ladies. We'll be back in just a second. We'll be back in a moment, but first, a word from our sponsors, Manscaped. Ladies, Morgan, take it away. Let me fucking talk.

Morgan, take it away for Manscaped. Ladies, quick break. God damn it. Be right back. Ladies, we all know. BRB. Manscaped. Ladies, we all know it's hot girl summer. Go ahead. You take it away. Shave that clam. Manscaped. Come on. This is better ad read than

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So they just came out with this IQ test. It's only three questions, and it determines if you're smarter than 80% of the population. Okay. So I don't know if you guys want to do this collectively, on your own, like silently, figure it out, and then I'll give you like a countdown. You got to give your answer. Let's do that. Let's do it separately, yeah. Separately?

Okay, so this is the first question. Yeah, but just do one at a time? Well, I mean, I can't'll give you like a countdown. You got to give your answer. Let's do that. Okay. Separately. Yeah. Separately. Okay. So this is the first question. Yeah. We'll just do one at a time. Well, I mean, you, I can't read them one at a time, but we say our answer. You say it and then we tell her, okay. Maybe write it down or something. So you don't just write it down. Wait, is it multiple choice or no? It's just, it's a think question. Okay. A bat and a ball costs a dollar and 10 cents. The bat costs $1 more than the ball, how much does the ball cost? $0.10. $0.05.

$0.05 is correct. If the ball costs $0.10 and the bat is $1 more, it's $1.10, it's $1.20, dude. Low IQ, you're a cornball. You're already below the top 80. Wait, I don't... So a dollar more than five cents is a dollar and five cents and five cents,

which is a dollar and ten cents. You're not going to get it. You'll get the next one. You're not going to get it. Oh, I see what you mean. If it takes five machines five minutes to make five widgets, how long does it take a hundred machines

to make a hundred widgets? One more time, that's a lot of words. If it takes five widgets, how long does it take 100 machines to make 100 widgets? One more time, that's a lot of words. If it takes five machines, five minutes to make five widgets, how long does it take 100 machines to make 100 widgets? Just hold. Let me know when Gary's got it.

See how quick that is? I was absolutely amazed that these were the questions when I... This is the worst time to do it I can't even think of like how to open my eye socket five machines five minutes to make five widgets yep how long does it take a hundred machines to make a hundred widgets

it's a toughie if you're not like I truly there if your IQ is low this is why they have you have a low I do this I have it okay I think I say yours first yeah I mean I feel like it's only fair I yeah I do yeah go that hamster is working in there i think i got it okay okay well let me let me do some math no i got the question no okay you understand you finally got the question okay that's where we i thought we were at the question probably i thought we made it all the way there five machines five minutes five whizzies don't read it again i'm not reading again yeah five minutes five minutes yes yep okay boom this is the last one don't break your fucking brain there are lily pads in a lake that double in size every day if it takes 48 days to completely cover the lake,

how long does it take to cover half the lake? One more time. There's lily pads in a lake. I know. I know. They double in size every day. I know. I know. I know. Okay, so I don't need to read again? I know. 47 days. Yes. Look at my guys.

You guys are 80%ers. Fuck with me. This is on literally zero brain power. What does it mean if you got the first one wrong? He's not in the top 20% of the population. Well that's not fair. I didn't hear the first one. That's okay. That's okay. I misheard it. Okay, and this is another one that I'm doing with you guys.

It's which fact is true? A game by John. None of them. There's an either or for every one of these. The first one is elephants can hear with their feet or the Great Wall of China can be

seen from space. Is which fact is true? Yeah. The second one. What do you mean seen from space? Because you could use a telescope in space with your eyes. With your eyes? Okay, so it's elephants could hear with their feet

or you could see the Great Wall of China from outer space. Yes. It's the elephants. It is the elephants. You can see the Great Wall of China from outer space. It's a common fact that people think they know that's wrong. I can see my house from space with a satellite.

You can see your shack? Yeah. Okay, next one. Your blood vessels could circle the earth four times. Four times if they were laid end to end. Bullshit. Or a koala bear can ejaculate up to seven times in a minute

due to its dual-headed penis. Do you make these up? One of them's not true. Okay. I think the not true one is the first one koala's nut is what is they not they know you can stretch your blood vessels around the earth four times they're related how they're in my body there's no way there's a way that's dude i'm just giving you how many vessels do we have so many but like around four circles of the earth's worth aren't they microscopic though how is that possible well length they're long still they yeah they're because they're so like

there's like fucking thousands in your hand like the little ones and then you stretch my hands only okay next one fergie voice charlie brown's sister in the Christmas movie, or alcohol kills brain cells. The second one's cat. Like Fergie the singer? Fergie the singer. Alcohol does not kill brain cells. I'm so smart.

We just did an ice cube test. An ice cube test. Wait, Fergie the singer. Fergie the singer voiced Charlie Brown's sister. No, it hurt. There's no way. Which one are you going with, dude? How would I be able to know if alcohol has killed my brain cells?

It's a trick question. I'm just listening to you speak. They're both true. I'm just listening to you speak. I think this first one's true the first one is true Fergie voiced really like in the original movie

which is weird to think of what does alcohol do to brain cells it doesn't kill them it's good for you it just damages them it doesn't kill them just fucking like choke holds them cripples them leaves them like a vegetable it doesn't kill them. Oh, thank God. Yeah, just fucking like chokeholds them, cripples them, leaves them like a vegetable. Yeah, I feel that.

It doesn't kill them. They're still there. Yeah, of course. They work. They're just less operable. That's all I got for those. That's all you got for those? Mm-hmm. I got a question for you guys.

Okay, hit me. What's the guy equivalent of energy crystals? The guy equivalent of energy crystals? Sports. Thinking that your seven-leg parlay is going your seven leg people fucking devote their thinking your parlay is gonna hit thinking you have a lock on a bet yeah yeah you're like dude uh derrick carr's never played good in the rain they're definitely gonna lose by 14 that's the easiest bet ever yeah or just like some weird like sports superstition shit yeah you don't wear your fucking three like 30 year old jersey that you've

never washed that your team's gonna lose even though i just like when it gets to like some crazy it's like a west coast team's never won on the east coast in an early game yeah when it's raining and they had to fly the night before yeah espn stats yeah it's like every baseball stat nowadays it's like no player has ever had 25 hits in 42 days since they introduced the two-seam fastball while wearing high socks yeah exactly everyone's like oh wow that's definitely it it's fucking crazy that's a pretty good i mean there's probably a lot for guys with us honestly do we know what's what's like the closest let's think to crystals well because there's a lot that goes into crystals one there's believing that they have any effect on your life whatsoever.

Yes. Two, there's like the charging them and shit. Yeah. So there's like some maintenance to it. So there's definitely like a superstitious-ish factor. There's like a life guidance factor. What else would be like that for guys? Just.

I'm thinking like maybe like a gym supplement bro oh like a way no like a super like experimental stuff like a guy who's like oh you got to take ashwagandha or just believing everything on joe rogan podcast oh joe rogan yeah that's it that's it yeah joe rogan just believing everything he says yeah and you know it for a fact for sure because it was on there yeah like no there was a guy on there that he chose yeah and if somebody questions you you said you did your research but you really didn't do any research you just listen to it well your research is joe rogan and you never say that that's where you got it from yeah you're never gonna say like no i because you haven't you have enough facts from that three hours to make it seem like you did your research

but that's the only source you got any information from you can always just say a podcast yeah you're like there was a scientist on this podcast. I hope somebody, there's definitely somebody out there that quoted us on some bullshit. Us? I hope so. I feel like he does, that show does a pretty good job of facts, though. That's fair. I mean, but like, yeah.

I think it's a pretty good equivalent. I would say it's pretty close to those, though. I think we got that. I think we absolutely nailed that. Is there another thing? There might be. Let me see. What do I put my faith in?

You guys. The boys? The word of the boys? I'm like imagining this scenario, right? Because if it's a girl in this scenario, some girl's like, dude, I've just been having a really rough week, blah, blah, blah.

And they're like, oh, you know what you need? Some rose quartz. You put that under your pillow, leave it in the sun for three days, put that under your pillow, it's going to change everything around. And like for a guy, it's like... I think they have us beat by a lot, though. Yeah, we just don't really...

In terms of the... We're too simple. The crazy... No, we don't even... That's too deep for us. Yeah. Do we know the origin story behind energy crystals? They work.

They're all... they're eternal. They've been around forever. It's something to do with like, we have those things, like the minerals and whatnot in us. Oh really? Chakras? No, no, no, not chakras. I think that's what they're supposed to be. Is that the same, like, is that the same kind of realm?

Yeah, it's, it's, it's way outside my knowledge. Yeah, my knowledge. The charging them in the sun is where they lose me. No. Or like doing whatever else. No, charging them in the moonlight. Yeah, that's way outside my knowledge. Yeah, my knowledge is... The charging them in the sun is where they lose me. No. Or like doing whatever else. No, charging them in the moonlight. Yeah, that's what you do. Some of them are sun, some of them are moon.

Yep. Way more moon, though. Yeah, way more moon. It's a cleaner energy. It ties in really quickly with astrology. It's a cleaner energy. Yeah. Well, it's funny because they have that, and then they also have astrology.

Mm-hmm. Well, they're kind of hand in hand. And we wonder why they're fucking batshit. Nah, hold on. They base their lives off of stars and crystals. See, it's like we base our lives off absolutely nothing. Well, no, we base our lives off of them, which is the worst part.

But we don't base our lives off of things. We base our moods off of things like that like they'll sit like we'll be like oh the raiders lost everything i feel like shit yes they're like oh mercury is too close to mars i'm gonna have i'm gonna be i'm gonna have a rough couple weeks yeah yeah it's it's basically the same yeah yeah we're just choose to place ours in man-made things true yeah i mean if you're a raiders fan you're just down for an entire six months that's like a whole football season mercury's permanently in retrograde yeah it's another raiders are playing this week i still want to look into who started the crystal so

who started them it's an ancient practice yeah is it really an ancient practice it's not new yeah it's like tracing you don't think some witch doctor's been fucking throwing obsidian at people oh yeah they've been casting spells from books for ages yeah come on now okay fair enough uh this is a good one uh what are some good code names for your buddy's girlfriend who sucks it like uh i was you know like you're sitting there and they're like oh we're about to go do this this weekend and you're like oh is is whomping willow coming oh she who shall not be named yeah i don't know i went all like harry potter on mine i was like oh is moaning myrtle gonna be there oh moaning myrtle's a good one or just like oh great i feel like i feel like it is a good one yeah yeah oh she's coming yeah

great good code names though yeah i almost, I'm almost saying like, I'm almost saying like you're around like the other girls, like you're trying to like, could you get away with saying it without saying it? Is check engine light going to be there? I'd have to think about that. We need, this needed to be a, that's a prep prepper. Yeah. I thought we could get some off the fly Limbless was another one Limitless gonna be there Oh God

Okay, okay, here's something here's something okay if the power of only fans flipped from guys to girls overnight What would be the focus of the male content? Helicopter dick would be the focus of the male content? Helicopter dick would be up. Helicopter dick? Helicopter dick. No, I mean like not sexual. Like would it be like opening jars or something? Oh, if it wasn't sexual.

Yeah. Like girls were paying for. Yeah. Oh, it would be like. Oh, girls are paying to watch guys do shit? Yeah, like grab something really high up. Parallel park. Or what are like the thirst trappy ones the guys do now uh you got the guys

who do like the um shirtless lumber shopper the the lumber oh the lumberjack guy dude chopping wood guy shirtless pottery that guy probably has an only fans oh for sure the wood chopping guy fuck that oh yeah he's on tiktok right i bet he has an only fan yeah for sure he has to yeah fuck that guy dude are you kidding me what do you mean he just absolutely broke this don't he's a he's what we should be rooting for we want more of that yeah we know he don't shoot him down you're like women calling other women whores dude we need to support men no he's like colin lizzo a 10 he's not a 10 no he's a good looking dude who broke the system if you could make money chopping wood in your backyard right now you do it in a quarter second okay he's pretty hot pretty hot. I'll give him that. Yeah. I mean, he's

got kind of like... We need him to champion the movement. More of that. We need more. But when he looks at the camera all sus and his homie has to film it, that's tough. Yeah. Dude, there's no way he doesn't just have a mic stand. No, it like follows him around. Good. Drone. Yeah, I'd love to know who's filming.

Yeah, that guy's fucking savage. Yeah. He's probably a thirsty-ass woman. It's the fucking whack-ass looks into the camera that just destroy it. Why is whack shit so fucking popular? There's a lot of whack people out there. Because the same reason we talked about why are there so many bad movies, why is there so much bad music, it's stuff made for whack. It's also why are we smarter than 80% of the population

that we just proved with three stupid-ass questions. over half like if you guys over half yeah have you guys seen that new fucking song that's everywhere the fucking oh my god that one i love that i love that shit have you ever heard the whole song huh yeah it's a good song next my body dance for you come on come on guys that's a great song and then it's just a girl just doing... It's some fucking stupid thing. No, it's Bill Hader. That's one of the big ones. The big meme?

I feel like he's in all of them. No, but the main thing is girls just do it. There's a dance to it. Oh, there is. The girls do, yeah. It's as simple as dancing. It's weird, because that song's old as fuck. It came out of nowhere.

Is it? Yeah. It kind of slaps, though. Yeah, it does go. Mix that into the DJ rotation. No, I'm pretty sure it's from like fucking early 2000s. It could be. Ooh, here's, speaking of like, how does this stuff work?

Have you guys seen, we've done Ass Slapping League. This is a new one. 2016. This is my favorite one so far. It's called the Thigh Choke League. The Thigh Choke League league so it's dudes with chicks thighs wrapped around their neck trying to choke them out and see how long they could last no way yeah so they just get instantly like locked in like it's not like they have to wrestle under the ground but they're just starting a thigh choke and they're just trying to and the guy's just like

and it's just who can it's like right in a bowl like who can last yeah it lasts like getting unreal do they like standardize it like They have to do the same girl? I saw different girls. It might be like a bring your wife type of thing. Oh, yeah. Are you allowed to get hard first? They don't show that angle, but there is a lot of smelling, a lot of nose breathing. I feel like you need all the blood in your head.

Otherwise, you're going to pass out. Yeah, there's a lot of nose breathing, though, from the guys. Which would be super hard. I got immediately just all the blood. I already get weak. Blood just rushes straight out. Just standing up too quickly, I get a little weak. What's the time brackets on that?

It's just I think whoever can go longest wins. But like how long are we talking? Oh, some of them go for a while. Like over five minutes? I don't know about five. I mean, I didn't watch it that long. It'd be a pretty weak show. I kind of watched the highlight tape to be honest oh you watched the highlight tape yeah it'd have to be a pretty weak show give you do skinny girls do better or the bigger ones no

all the women that did it had some thighage oh so they had some strength yeah yeah i wouldn't say strength more so just size with the thighs like enough to cover your mouth eyes like uh yeah you look like you're wearing a neck brace in there like you're like supported and you have to pass out like that's no you you tap oh you actually tap says how long you can last that's fun yeah i think the biggest decision is like do you pick uh like which which way is the girl to you you know are you getting backside are you getting oh there's options are you getting snatch? Are you getting clam or... I want butt in my face. If I'm face first, I'm never passing out.

It depends on the girl. It could make it harder either way. Oh, like if you're just facing crotch? That's true. You might pass out purely off scent alone. Yeah, if you get a girl who's been through a few rounds already, she's already sweated up. The smell might just take you out without even fucking touching you.

Or take me in. That's what I'm saying. Most of the guys are breathing through their nose. I think that's the technique. That'd be fun to do. Yeah, I would get into it. I'd get me around. I could get into that. I'd give it a try.

What country is it in? Fucking Norway? This looked US born. That sounds pretty US. All the good ones are. It was one of those things it was like it could have been on espn the ocho or like a deep dive on pornhub like either way okay i feel that it's kind of like the uh extreme ironing yes exactly but that's in norway for sure they do that fucking weird nordic shit it's a it's a weird sport or it's a weird fetish i don't know

probably combo both but yeah i could get into it we finally watched uh cocaine bear did we i didn't watch a second did you not watch it it's so bad we gave it a four right why did we hear that people thought it was okay when it first came out did they i could so fucking bad i actually can't give an opinion i don't remember well i guess if you didn't do cocaine you'd probably i think you were gone when we actually watched it oh did you like actually watch it yeah what uh the more when we popped it on the morning before the concert we actually watched it but you were you went you had you had to go on like 17 different errands i did have some errands yeah have we found my fucking keys yet no those are gone those are

still missing those are gone for sure no i mean they're here nope morgue probably threw them away i guarantee you or fuck't throw them away or oh who's are these or he's like oh I'm gonna put these in a smart spot and put them like on top of this

fucking pipe up here hit them somewhere they could be up there low key yeah hey you were hiding something up there earlier they could be up there

we'll check after we'll check you know what I'm surprised about is the amount of people that said we should have recorded us when we were sitting around on mushrooms.

I'd be so down to do that shit. It's just, it's taking a lot of setup. There's no way that that would be good. I don't think any, for the people who are requesting, I don't think you'd want it. I mean. That's OnlyFans. There'd be some funny clips, but it would take so much sifting through because realistically that was like 70 hours. Yeah.

Oh yeah. It was a full day. It was nighttime before they wore off. Oh, just the shrooms you're talking about yeah that was oh not the full bender no oh yeah i was like whoa they wanted the twee armor sit down of the lads the twarmer sit down yeah what we should do is do a fucking time stamp for netflix shows and just have a face cam and just do commentary that would be good you could do that for the bad fucking shows but yeah i don't i don't know how

much people would want to listen to that absurd. Dude, if we're on a good hangover, I feel like it's good. There was a couple monologues that would for sure, that deserve to be filmed. Yeah, we could get G on the mic for a little bit. Yeah, he was crushing it. We'd have to watch it before we release it. That's the main part is the amount of effort to put it out

because you'd have to watch the whole thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's nothing in there that you could even remotely. What you'd have to do is, yeah, you'd have to have like a little clicker where you timestamp different moments so you know we just need to watch like that. Yeah, like after we get done laughing,

just click. Yeah, yeah. And then we have some sections because I'd say 99% of that would either be one, illegal to put on camera or two just retarded. Yeah. That was a whole lot of bullshit. Yeah. Could you imagine how much it would just be like, wait, what did you say? Yeah. Dude. Oh no. I was talking about this. He was my fucking forearms were sore for three full days after we played that much FIFA dude.

Oh dude. Legit had like fucking corinthus whatever that was disgusting oh car was fun though it was nine hours my girlfriend did not believe we were doing that oh yeah i can't believe i was thinking about how stupid i sounded on the phone i was like yeah we just yeah we just played video games for 36 hours like yeah i'd be like bullfuck where were you where were you mexico yeah no fucking way. Yeah, that's so fair. Having to explain yourself when you didn't do anything wrong, but the truth sounds so stupid that it sounds like you're lying. Yeah, I couldn't even describe it to my other friends.

I couldn't even. Yeah. They're like, what did you guys do? I'm like, we quite literally sat around the couch for 36 hours straight drinking Twisted Teas and drugs. Dude, that was actually fucking... Oh, that was one of the... They're like, oh, were you watching stuff? I was like, there was music

on in the background. It was so fun, but like... That was a lot of fun. Oh my god. We really went in on our boys night. Yeah, I'm over going out, dude. Go in. I mean, that was more fun than I think you could have. I'm with that. Here's another one.

I don't know if we have to cut this or not. Just do it. You guys seen the stuff about the bonus hole I've heard you mention it. I mentioned it before. What? So this is the official statement According to the glossary a bonus hole is an alternative word for the vagina and recommending it They're recommending to see which words someone would prefer They also suggest using front hole as an alternative term with the same meaning so to be inclusive to men and people who have transitioned who technically don't have a vagina we should just call them bonus holes oh I don't understand it there's no it's inclusive language it's inclusive language like I'm all for it all we're asking for is inclusive language guys can we not be inclusive

I'm all for it bonus hole I love how that rolls off the tongue so what you're trying to say is say I was a woman and I'm now a man but I haven't no no so you were a man now you are a woman i don't have a vagina technically i have a bonus hole i see i see okay yeah okay that stays in that stays in there's a few parts of it that just don't make sense to me one is uh if you were a man transitioning and you had that done i think you would want people to call it a vagina. Right? Because you're technically saying that you're a woman now, which means that's what you would want to have.

Yeah, you'd want people to be thinking like, you wouldn't want someone to be like, technically, no. I'd be like, no, that's just a bonus hole. I feel like that's almost more offensive. It's meaner, right? Yeah. Like, no, that's not a vagina. That's a bonus hole.

Also, to be inclusive to, I don't know, what percentage of the population falls under man transitioning to women who are like have like maybe a 0.1%. One in 3,000. We need to completely get rid of a word that describes 50% of the population. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Vaginas are out. Bonus holes are in.

Yeah, it's inclusive to. But also. Also excludes. It's also like all that gets rid of the other you can't be too inclusive because then somebody's excluded would to be inclusive you have to exclude why does everything have to be inclusive why can't we all just be different you know we just need to make some new words i can't everyone just be a little i think it would be shocking to be standing there as a dude who transitioned and someone says like say you got it tricked a dude

into fucking you or whatever and he was like damn that's a nice bonus hole you're like hey or he calls he says damn that's a nice vagina you're like hey it's not a vagina imagine just imagine just being in that shouldn't be like damn that bonus hole so talk about the least sexy thing you could ever say like oh you, that bonus hole's so tight. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Talk about the least sexy thing you could ever say. Like, oh, you like that bonus hole, daddy? I'd be like, what did you just say? Why does that word sound so phonetically good? Bonus hole?

Bonus hole, it smacks. But can we come up with a fun, like, sexy little nickname for that? Like, is it a bonus-y? A bonus-y? Yeah. Let me tear apart that bonus-y. shred that but this it's so close to bonehole I think yeah you just called a bonehole yeah bonus challenge out to all the listeners next time you're hooking up with your girl call it a bonus hole see what she does see how quick she dries up no it's not bonus

it's bonus bonus bonus I'm with bonus it's a bonus i'm with that i kind of fuck with it that stays i took all three minutes to fully adopt that i love it totally against it i fucking love it that doesn't make sense we're inclusive i can see myself deep in some bonus oh shit fuck it does make it easy so you never have to worry about messing up either Yeah I also the alternative one That they gave if you don't like bonus hole Front hole

Don't love Hate front hole Front hole no Front hole kind of feels like you're referring to something else Yeah Like maybe mouth or belly button or something weird yeah because there's a couple of them front hole doesn't hit yeah front hole could be nose because it's almost just yeah it's like saying it's the same as the back hole no bonus is good

yeah bonus is better than front yeah okay okay uh i'm gonna write in but that's just that that's what we came up with though bonus hole the best part is we didn't even come up with it. They came up with it on their own. No, yeah. Yeah. No, we didn't come up with it. What organization is that? That's the LBGTQ+.

The Transatlantic Union. Trans plus blah, blah, blah. Oh, so that was real. Yeah. No, this is a real thing. This is off their website. Oh, shit. This isn't a made up thing.

I thought that was J-Fax. In the article. Oh, you thought John made this up? No, I thought there was a little bit of embellishment in the article it's hilarious the girl like presenting this she's like and this is not a joke by the way like she had to like we're being serious that's crazy i mean i get i get it kind of feels like like fun like it's like a it's like a game like a slot machine like a slot machine like oh you hit the bonus hole oh that's good stuff i actually fuck three sevens i think we should call it we should call it the

jackpot that's what we should call it that's what she called that rips that's good that's good jackpot we fuck that hard right in right in yeah i'll tell well i'm sure they already have that in part of it jackpot rips jackpot yeah imagine that oh jackpot. Yeah, I'll tell. Well, I'm sure they already have that in part of it. Jackpot rips. Jackpot. Yeah, imagine that. Ooh, jackpot. I'll stand out in front of a rouse for that. Will you sign this petition?

Just imagine like bonus hold a jackpot. I'm going to fucking. Ditching vagina. It's now called the jackpot. Imagine texting someone just like, ooh, I'm going to tear that jackpot up later. I can imagine it. That'd be fun.

I like it. Like, I feel like I'm going to hit the jackpot tonight. Yeah, I'm going to hit the jackpot. They're like, ooh, yeah, you I feel like I'm gonna hit the jackpot. I'm gonna hit the jackpot They're like, oh, yeah, you are. Mm-hmm. I'm gonna hit the jackpot threes free. So it works I got some lay even if you do hit the jackpot. There's still a bonus hole. Ooh, ooh There actually is yeah, there's a still bonus. Oh, that's the thing about bonus hole is I feel like it's Oh, yeah, the bonus almost more towards the beat the butt. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, like there's a jackpot and it's like It's like you cuz it's almost more towards the butt. Yeah. Like there's a jackpot and a bonus hole. Because it's harder to get the bonus hole.

It's way harder. Like you could hit the jackpot. It's like hitting the hole in one on the 19th hole to put a putt putt, dude. It's a bonus hole. Like you could hit the jackpot, but there's also a bonus hole. I think, see, we just figured it out. Can we send an email? That was good.

That's what this show is all about. Can we draft an email? There's a couple other you're welcome community What community jump? The them we are the world a couple other big news here This is a headline that I read that it just made me die laughing Bill de Blasio Has wondered if marrying a self-described lesbian was like a ticking time bomb

Has wondered if marrying a self-described lesbian was like a ticking time bomb. Wait, what? So I guess he got divorced from his wife and she previously had said that she's a lesbian. Like full bore? Yeah. She wrote an article saying the title was I am a lesbian. Oh. No questions there.

So he... He just now started wondering after their divorce. So he knew... Like not even bisexual she said she's a lesbian she said she was a lesbian yeah we'll see that i would but they got married that's what i'm that's i'm like how is that how early on did you say that before they were married she's a lesbian how did it be way worse if it was after she's like i'm just letting you know i don't like men at all yeah i'm into chicks but i'm done to get married maybe he was just like thought that was gonna be like a hot thing know I don't like men at all. Yeah, I'm into chicks, but I'm done to get married. Maybe he just thought that was going to be a hot thing

and just didn't work out at all. She's like, no, I'm actually not bisexual. I hate men. If that did work out, though, jackpot. Bonus hole. Bonus hole. That's a bonus hole. This is another big news one.

Japan, a Japanese male porn star is calling for help because there are there are seven male porn stars for every thousand female japanese porn stars and he has to do sometimes he has to do seven shoots a day to keep up with the workload did you see there's like some like 80 year old guy who's like some guy came out of came out of retirement because there's so few porn stars in japan should we move to japan well who's not signing up for that this is like telling people that there's a gold rush yeah like why are you don't don't leak on yourself yeah right you're you're in the money dude oh no you have to do seven you have to dump seven shots a day yeah how did that there's no one else to call so you get to do it every time that is

so he's just like saying like i like I'm fucking dying out here guys Yeah, in the thing I read the article and he was literally like I'm exhausted like please help someone Like they can't force him to do it right like can you just take less shoot who's gonna put no horns out to How there's no it for us like being Superman. I'm not gonna not say there's no way he's got enough to get the bad signal I gotta show up dude. He has the lives of millions of men on his back. Dude, how many people need that? Seven a day? He's shooting blanks for at least three or four of those.

No, he's built way more. Right? Yeah, he's probably for six of them. I feel like after like two or three, you're done for. I've done seven in a 24-hour period. But the difference between the first and the last is... The last couple were not healthy. You could probably bust inside a girl on seven

and there's nothing going to happen. Yeah. But things coming out like clear. Yeah, that's fair. That's fair. But prayers... I mean, prayers up or are we answering the call? We're moving to Japan.

Yeah, we're moving to Japan. Yeah, what? You don't want some... Wait, did you read more into into it though like how the fuck why aren't people doing it uh i think they didn't really overtly say this but it has something to do with like the like actual penis size um like there's just not a lot of candidates they're not built for it also there's the whole like so we just go over there and dominate the industry yeah just take over but the the best part was the guy there's literally whole like... So we just go over there and dominate the industry? Yeah. Just take over?

But the best part was the guy, there's literally an 84-year-old dude who came out of retirement from porn to get back into it because there's so few people doing it. So they just have porn with this fucking ancient man. Yeah, he... I saw that guy. He looks like a ledge. Yeah, he does look like a ledge.

Oh, yeah. He's got the loosest life. You get to come out of retirement. You get to work. How many people ever do that? How many people ever think that that's going to happen? No one. Could you imagine that call? They're like, hey.

We need you. I know you haven't done a shoot in like 30 years. We need you. But this guy's going to die if I stick another girl on it. That's how down bad they are. If this guy comes again, he might die. I need you. Oh, that's fucking good shit.

Where's the fucking sign-up sheet? Yeah, I think I would sign up. Easily. What's your strategy if your girl got too fat? What's my strategy? No, this is a tough one. Yeah, okay. Can I get a couple of contexts here?

50 pounds. Right. Okay, but no. pounds right okay but no no the context is like did she have a kid and she's fat now no no kid okay so she's just saying she just she's so loose now she's so in this in this scenario if she just got fat oh and it's 50 pounds 50 pounds i'm blaming i think i'm blaming me more because i watched it happen it's not like someone gains 50 pounds overnight that's like a six month i feel like yeah you really have a very short window to kind I think I'm blaming me more because I watched it happen. It's not like someone gains 50 pounds overnight. That's like a six month. I feel like, yeah, you really have a very short window to kind of nip it. If you don't get it.

Yeah. If you don't get it at 10, you're not getting it at 50. It's a lost cause. So you're, you're jumping in at 10. I mean, this gets tough. No, I'm just saying, I'm saying it depends more on the habits than the weight. Like if, if she's like, I'm not working out anymore. She eats like a tub of ice cream.

If she's just giving up. Yeah. That's one thing. And then, and you're like, oh, those sweats are getting baggier. Like, you know, it's a lifestyle. It's not just like she steps on the scale one day and she's, but she's still active and doing stuff. Well, yeah.

No shit. Hmm. But what are you going to stop eating ice cream? Fat ass. What are you going to do? What am I going to do? That's a good start. I feel like it's got to be like a we thing.

You know what I mean? You just got to lead it. You should make it about yourself. Just be like, oh, I've just felt so unhealthy. Maybe we should start eating healthier. We should start going to the gym more. That's a safe play for sure. That's a strong shot.

But if that doesn't work, I don't really know what you're doing there though is a bunt that's like a suicide squeeze really because it could work but there's a good chance you know that it just does nothing yeah if she's like that would be a good opener yeah you start with that so you start the conversation yeah that's that's that's plan a i feel like it's the only way you can start yeah plan a plan a is we need to do this. And then, like, let's say hypothetically in this scenario, I got a little. I put on some pounds, too.

So it's like we need to do it. Then if I lose the weight and she doesn't, then we have to start doing some guerrilla tactics. Yeah. Have you seen in, like, movies how they have- I feel like you might have to, like, pay a friend to just break it down to her. She'll be like, hey, I will give you five grand if you figure this out for me.

You'd have to do it in a sneaky way. I would like to do that first also. Right? There's so many things I would do before I'm like, yo. I mean, because that would just be shattering. Okay, other way around. You're getting big. Deal with it.

What, how would I want them to approach it? I would want want them to just be like you look like a fat piece of shit I said that one's hard for me to get behind because I just can't see it I could see it I certainly can't see it yeah that's fair it's tough scenario though I could use 50 pounds they probably see you could use 50 pounds yeah be chilling for you yeah I guess the the answer here is's almost the same as like not getting your girlfriend. It's proactive here. If you let the kind of habits sink in and you don't say anything, it may be you think it's a hard conversation then when you're like,

hey, oh, wow, another bowl of pasta? Like you think that's tough? Wait until she's 50 pounds heavier and you're like, hey, I can't lift you up anymore oh it's so uncomfortable of conversation tough tough what would i feel like you'd have to like put them in a situation where they realize it for themselves like maybe like book a trip for like yacht week or something well no no don't bring them in front of a bunch of people well but because then when maybe like a casual like couple trip to like cancun and when she's like trying on bathing suits you're just like yeah you get her you get her to do something

that she doesn't have an outfit for and then she has to buy that size or no you're like get her to try on her old stuff here here's a good way here's a man way of doing it to look like you're just stupid right plan something buy her an outfit in the size she used to be. Ooh. Oh, that's so gnarly. Like a dress. That's fucking gnarly. In a size four or whatever.

And then she's like, oh, I thought that's what size you were. And you're like, oh, you've always been a four. Yeah. Does that mean you didn't even notice? Yeah. Yeah, you like, because you didn't even see it.

And then she's like, oh my God. Because then it becomes like, you're sweet for not noticing, but then she's like grossed out for letting it get that bad. That could work for sure. I think that might be it. That's one of the last ditch resort ones, I feel like.

But you got to, yeah. That would be tough as shit. Because like what if you're like trying to buy like clean groceries and stuff and she just goes and like buys bullshit? Oh, fuck. I mean, yeah, that's how it happens. Or like the couples where like the person's like hiding like a fucking piece of Oreos in the... Yeah, like sneaking cupcakes.

Or just like picking up like a Big Mac on the way home and eating that. Before dinner. Yeah. Ooh. If you hide your food, that's fucking tough. Yeah, you find like fucking 10 empty Big Mac wrappers in the backseat of your car. And it... Yeah, this...

See, I feel like girls have an easy out though. Like if they get pregnant and then they get big it's like we can't say anything well obviously yeah you don't gain that much weight though right i don't know i don't know they're all different some girls do some girls don't the good ones don't Oh, brother. There he is. Oh, brother. Okay, so this is the Mount Rushmore of things to slap. Okay. So the top four things in the world to slap.

I think this is a pretty easy. Are we making our own? I feel like we just collectively do one. Yeah. No, I mean like we're making it. Yeah, we're making the Mount Rushmore. I mean, cheeks. The first one has to be cheeks. Cheeks is on there.

Butt cheeks. Butt cheeks. Cheeks, butts in general, just a butt is good. Yeah. I mean, nothing gets better. Nothing gets better than butts. That's an easy one, one. Like whether it's your boys or your girls, it doesn't matter.

Yeah, it's a 1A. Yeah, that's the best part about it being butts. That's what I'm saying. Sports butt slap with your boys. Fuck sports. How about just like walking through the kitchen? Yeah, bending over to fucking unload the dishwasher. My boy's making fucking breakfast.

If you're in my vicinity, you're blown. Yeah, if there's a butt around, I'm slapping. Yeah, it's getting smacked. Steering wheel? No. No. No, definitely not. Not at all.

But I need to at least have an explanation. Hello. Can you explain why you don't hello also? No? Yeah What are you saying? I'm trying you want help here steering wheel. What is it? Get on my way brother Maybe like drumming at some point like now no no no don't don't help me. Okay Things just we're all how long me to do mine while you... We're all helping each other. Yeah, it's a collective group. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Your own face when you're blacked out? That's one for you. I don't know, that would be a general... Things I slap. I got... I'll help you. This is not for you, but it's... Either a bag of dirt or a large Costcoco bag of like rice oh walking

through good rice yeah just a nice slap on that this is good rice yeah or like a big hunk of meat yeah i like i like slapping meat try tip good meat yeah just you give that a slap nothing nothing beats it okay i'll throw meat on there. You want to do it? Okay, good. Good job. This is another one. Like a big dog. Yeah, just a nice poo.

Just a fucking slap. A good big belly. A big dog. Yeah. You're just sitting there. It sits down between your legs. Yeah, just fucking smack them up. A good belly on a big boy.

Yep. A big boy belly. Yeah, a big boy's belly. I can slap the shit out of that. It's definitely on there. It has to be. Yeah. A good boy's belly. Like slap the shit out of that it's definitely on there it has to be yeah like by the pool a little sweaty kind of pink yeah i think i'm slapping me morg's first few were rough on that yeah i was steering wheel you can't even really slap that you get like a palm well you know fucking know, fucking, you know. Ugh. Yeah, I know. Ugh. A ball out of your fucking boy's hands. Okay.

That's up there. Like a swat. Yeah, I don't know if I'd put that on there, but it's definitely got. Cheeks are just so elite. Tits are also fun to slap around a little bit. I don't know if you slap them, though. That seems too harsh. You don't give them a nice little slap around?

That's like more of like a, you're like bouncing. Juggling. Yeah, I feel like slap needs the sound. Oh, I get the sound. I feel like that's like a more of like a you like bouncing juggling i feel yeah i feel like slap needs the sound oh i get the sound i feel like that that's harmful so what we have here we have butts dogs bags of yeah a large bag of sediment of sorts. Yes, yes. It could be beans, dirt, sand. Yep. Beans, yeah. Like a Costco-sized thing of beans. Yeah, I love walking down the aisle

and hitting those things. Good luck. Good luck not fucking doing that. Yeah, it's almost impossible to not. Like door frame, top door frame? Ooh, okay. Top door frame. It's got legs.

Maybe like a backboard? Yeah. Yeah, I i get behind that gerald what do you like slapping dude i mean you gave a good one yeah butts is a one one it's elite i thought i thought we knew that was going on there yeah you didn't i knew butts was going on there you were going to maybe oh okay uh how about like a watermelon yeah you're testing it out it's not as satisfying uh if it's a good one yeah just because there's no there's no there's no real you know like a pumpkin there's no a good pumpkin slap is good

there's no real rebound to it you know yeah it doesn't have the recoil but it does have the sound it does i'm trying to think of like jiggly things because those are usually the best things to to slap yeah we've got the jiggliest one. A wine bag. A wine bag? That's high up there for sure. I can't believe we didn't get the twee bag this week. Do they sell them? I've never seen them, but

they have them. It's getting bigger and bigger. As soon as I saw it on tap, I knew. It's game over. It's the hottest drink on the market, bro. It really is. We need the sponsorship after the Tormor pick.

What did we used to slap each other for in the face? Remember? That was you when you were getting tired. Anytime someone would yawn. I kind of like that. I hate that. Yeah. More than anything.

Oh, when you yawn. That's a you thing also. Yeah. Okay. I can't stand that. A general public is what we're looking for here like a family feud top four answers morgue when he's drunk not up there yeah that's definitely not up there the steering wheel

down to your last i do the pillow one i can kind of get behind yeah kind of fluffing it up if you're about to no last I do The pillow one I can kind of get behind Yeah Kind of fluffing it up If you're about to nook up And you just fucking Oh like a Like a Getting it ready slap

Yeah Okay I could rock with that Or like During a sports game When you fucking hit the Hit the couch So you're just saying

If you get angry Hitting something Yeah Feels good It's gotta be somewhere in there It's gotta be somewhere in there Yeah Maybe you could just go with like

Maybe like not the The uh, the nice slap. Like when you're trying to like maybe just slapping someone. Yeah. Yeah. Like an open, that's gotta be open and slapping someone in the face of their talking shit is one of the best feelings. Yeah. Okay.

So let's put that on there. We found it. We found it. We found it. All right. Motherfuckers. We're going to go sleep forever. Yeah.

We're going back to bed. Wow. And, uh, but we stayed on track, dude. Fridays. Hey, we got them. We, we are sleep forever. Yeah. We're going back to bed. Wow. And, uh, but we stayed on track, dude. Fridays. Hey, we got them.

We, we are on schedule. Yeah. Despite that's why we just need to do it later in the week. Cause even if we absolutely fucking slam Duncan, if we get fucked by a middle of the week holiday, we can still get it in. Yep.

Thank God. What day is today? Thursday. Yeah. Okay. Jesus Christ. Okay. Well,

see y'all. See you again. See you next Friday. Gang, gang, gang, gang. Hopefully our brain cells come back.