NO FOMO - 50. Kayaks Are Sick

Episode Date: July 21, 2023

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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back, back, back to the Monster Fakin' FOMO Show. Now it's FOMO. LeBron James, LeBron James, LeBron James, LeBron James, LeBron James. It doesn't get, to me it doesn't get old. I hope it gets old for you guys because that would make it even better for me. Morg's making it old because he's not ready. Are you ready? I'm ready.

He's like having a fucking anxiety attack over there. Check. Check. This is your check. LeBron James. Nope, we no longer say check ever again. We go LeBron James. LeBron James. LeBron James. Nope, we no longer say check ever again. We go LeBron James. LeBron James.

LeBron James. Are we ripping? We are ripping. All right. Ladies and gentlemen, what's going on? We're coming off one of the densest three, four-hour extravaganzas of our lives. We just got out of the Oppenheimer premiere in IMAX. The Oppie-Hemie-Pareemie.

And first thought, long. It's a long film. It's not short. It's not short. It wasn't medium length or short length. I couldn't tell if it was the two cocktails, but I was sweating, first of all. Oh, it was warm in there.

It was warm in there? It got warm while I was wearing a sweatshirt. You were barefoot in there, so that's probably why you thought it was. I'm prepared for it being warm. Yeah. But usually, if anything, I always wear, or at least bring a sweatshirt because I'm usually cold. But it was getting hot.

You just do that normally for any occasion, though. Yeah. Okay. Mute point, but I like to be cozy. Did you say mute point? Yeah. Have you ever heard of the phrase? No.

Have you heard of that? Really? Yes, you've never heard of mute point? Expand your vocabulary. You don't read or do anything, do you? I try not to. Yeah, it's pretty obvious. Let's just, we'll discuss in a moment,

but I want to just rapid fire round robin just your out of 10 decimals included rating. Out of 10? Seven, seven. Seven, seven? This one's tough for me because I don't think I'd watch it again. And what does that have to mean for my rating?

It has to be lower than what I originally said. Not true, though. Not true. No, there's plenty of movies that I have that are good that I would just be like, why would I watch that again? There's just, yeah. But yeah, I do get it, though. It's not like one of those twist movies where it's like, oh, the twist is ruined, so I'm not going to watch it again. You just don't think you'd watch it again?

Or it's not like anything where you're like, oh, like i missed that in the beginning i gotta re-watch it i just feel like the length alone i have to watch it again like i would watch it literally tomorrow you think that makes you want to watch it more i mean i just there's a lot of really good movies that i didn't love the first time like dune is one no you love dune you're in it i like dune but i like dune a lot. But I've watched it like 25 times since. And it's also a very long movie. And like when I'm in my bed,

and I'm not like- How long is Dune though? It's like two and a half. See, two and a half and three is very different. But okay, it felt just as long as Dune, to be honest.

No, that was an eight hour movie. Yeah, that was long. Yeah, I wasn't expecting to be able to walk out. I said we'll debate it. Just give us a rating. I mean, it's very fresh, so you can take some time to deliberate. I'm giving it an 8.5. Oh, 8.5?

No way. I'll do an 8.2. Okay. I was going to go 8.7, but I thought I'd get some lashing. I don't know if I'd ever watch it again, though. That's fine. I don't think it's a re-watch movie, though. That's fine. I don't think it's a rewatch movie, though. What makes a movie rewatchable?

That's a good question. I think there's like... Right? I just thought about that. I mean, there's a lot of things. Yeah, I don't know if I had a defense of saying it's a rewatch movie doesn't make sense. Yeah, if it's really good, you watch it again. There's either like it's super complex, like Inception, where it's like I simply don't

have a fucking clue what just happened. Yeah. Where you like, I feel like I get it, I appreciated it, but I don't get it. And then there's like nostalgia. Maybe like some like- Like, oh, there's just one scene that's so cool that I would watch it just for that. Or the ending's so good, I would watch it just for that.

This was kind of just like overall really good. It wasn't really thought-provoking either, though. This? Like, you know, like some movies, like we were talking about Limitless on the way out. Yeah. Like that's one the entire time you're watching, like, oh my God. So you rate Limitless higher than Op.

Like I probably watch Limitless 10 times. I would say I would watch Limitless again. That's like a very rewatchable movie. Yeah. So that's what I'm saying as far as rewatchability. It's pretty like boilerplate, casual, entertaining. As rewatchability though, like while you're watching it, like the multiple times through, you like think of new shit.

It's like thought provoking. This is also very intense and like dense. But like intense like action just like yeah so just it was a dense film i'm really trying to think should we say spoilers or something like no spoilers no no spoilers i mean there's not really anything to spoil yeah i don't think there's really a lot of oppenheimer made the bomb that's he did that he doesn't make it they blew it up and they killed a bunch of japs i'm japanese people oh you you know what I did appreciate is the slight hits at the Japanese and that. The slight racism that they threw in? Yeah, that was funny.

They didn't tiptoe around that much. No. They really hit them. And you know what? It stayed true to the reality of the film. There were some really funny scenes. I will say that. His relationship with the political people was hilarious, actually.

When the president's in there, it was comedy. Oh, and the fact that our president was a douche was absolutely... Oh, yeah. Get that crybaby out of here. I'm like, yeah, that's probably how they were. That kind of hit when he said that.

I was like, fuck. I didn't realize how dark that story was. Yeah, 200,000 dark. No, I mean, I knew he would probably have some internal conflict, but the fact that they tried to fuck him and, like, make him look like just a bad person. But I wonder how much of that is, like...

It's all true. I know it's true. It's all true. No, it is. It's based on a book about him. Well, I know. I'm not saying that. I'm just saying, like,

I don't feel like that was in, like, the public eye, obviously. Like, he was getting dragged. But this was all in this book. It's called American Prometheus. That's what the movie was written off of. That's a good book title. Yeah. Right?

Well, he's got a name in that, but he decided to name it Oppenheimer because it's about the man. It's about him. But yeah, dude, that quote at the beginning, I was like, holy shit. Oh, did we miss the part of that? Oh, I think you might have.

I saw it on the way in. You were just behind shit. Oh, did we miss the part of that? Oh, I think you might have. I saw it on the way in. You were just behind me. Oh, I want to look that up, actually. Because it really was like the entire premise of the movie. If you could get that with one Google search, I'll suck your cock. Let's see. American Prometheus. You think you'll get it?

Oh, is it from that, though? Well, no, I mean, it's a quote. It's a quote. It's not like they made it up. No, I thought he was going to be like, quote from the beginning of Oppenheimer. I mean, you could probably look that up too, but I'm just going to look up American Prometheus quote. Where is it?

Me and Garrett were talking about in the car how it's banned in Japan, which is fair. Yeah. The movie's banned? I saw that. I'm not 100% positive. It's about killing 200,000 Japanese people. Why would they ban it?

I mean, if there was a movie out... It's not a shining moment in their history. Maybe not banned, but I could see Japanese movie theaters being like, we're not playing this. I mean, you could probably get it online. It's not banned. They could get it.

They're not showing it over there. Yeah, they're like, yeah, we don't really feel like it's a good idea for us to play this. I don't think they'd want to see that. Because that's just one generation. Like, hey, we could probably not sell any tickets if we had a bunch of theaters playing this a lot.

Yeah. Like if some country made a... If we lost a war. If we did. The quote was about Prometheus, right? Sure. Yes, I knew I'd get him with this. What do you mean, get me?

You can't find the quote, dude. You can't find the quote. Dude, will you guys relax? Look at how zesty he's sitting right now. A little zesty. You can't find the quote dude. Well you guys relax but uh Zesty sitting I'm feeling a little zest. He's got a couple he's kind of had a couple Barbie Kolata's yeah You had a Barbie Kolata feeling mint was that what it was called the pink one yeah? What was it was a pina colada would just pink the strawberry pina colada was okay that rippling you didn't tell me you were getting those I probably had one yeah, if you would have said were getting, what was the Oppenheimer drink?

Cyanide. Potassium chloride. A Jäger bomb into fucking napalm. Okay, here it is. Gary, can you just get the mic out of your face? Yeah, whatever. Well, okay. So Prometheus was the titan who stole fire from Olympus

and gave it to mankind. We know that. And then they punished him by chaining him to a rock for eternity. Is that the one where he has to push it up the hill? I don't think that's him. That's not Prometheus. But I guess an eagle gnawed at his. That's Prometheus.

An eagle ate him alive while he was chained to a rock for eternity. Oh, yeah. No, that's the guy. An eagle lands and chews. I think it like eats his liver out yeah it's his liver it goes back oh speaking about eagles eating people alive do you guys follow the tiktoks that talk about medieval torture devices no i've been getting really into this lately sure you have

wait john what was the thing last episode we had something that he's like borderline fucking serial killer too what's going on with this shit dude what is going on brother like i explore all that girls in video games or something something weird oh yeah it was like it was defying i'm sitting here he's watching tiktok and he think he literally thinks he got me he goes okay garrett explain this how are there pictures of satellites i was like uh i don't know from another fucking satellite he's like well how do they control that? I was like, dude, they're fucking, he's like, well, they're in orbit. You can't control.

I was like, yeah, you fucking can't. I don't think they do. Also, they could. He literally thought he got me. He's like, well, how is there a picture of a satellite? I'm just not convinced yet. He sent me one. He sent me one.

That would make perfect sense. You're fucking retarded. He's like, look at this. This looks like space, right? Well, it's actually not. He showed me so many of your dumb ass. Dude, this shit is a diss, bro. I swear to God.

You are a dunce, bro. You are so fucking dumb. I swear to God. Just on top of the movies before we move on. Yeah. I thought we were talking about medieval torture. Yeah, no, wait. You didn't even tell me about that.

Okay, I don't want to hear about it. No, he's stupid. I like to hear his stupid stuff. Some of these are really fucked up. I don't believe in it. It didn't exist tell me about that okay and i don't want to hear about it no i want to he's stupid i like to hear stupid stuff no some of these are really i don't believe it i love it didn't exist medieval times weren't real so it was flat back then it wasn't it was flatter yeah yeah uh so one of them was these are all fucked up so they'll one of them's called the bronze shoes and they like light up a fucking lebron's they light up you gotta wear they made shoes made out of bronze and then they like fucking heat them all the way up and make you walk in them that one was pretty fucked up like they they're burning scolding your feet okay yeah sounds pretty nearly yeah i mean that was pretty mid as far as like medieval oh we're

getting there we're getting there oh you're warming up yeah okay another one is like they put your body in a barrel in uh and they just let you flow down a river and like just insects will just eat your limbs while you're still alive. Why insects? Like larva and stuff will land on you and it'll just like eat you from the outside. You'll just slowly die?

Yeah. Or you're just like trapped in a barrel. That seems kind of mid also. That would be fucked up if just fucking maggots and shit were eating you shit. You would die way before maggots fucking eat you alive. Right? I think you would die just from thirst. You die just just die like probably drowning in the bed like the barrel

flips over face no it was set up so that you wouldn't drown it was fucking torture i feel like you die of hunger or thirst before you get eaten alive by larvae dumbass oh my god you're so dumb do you come with the middest shit i just gotta know like every part of it for you guys you just come with the what do you mean no i accept but it's just, that's like a weak torture. No, I think that, no, the catalyst was they put, like, fucking... Honey on your fucking arms? Yeah, something like that. Not so a bear comes by?

No. Not so a bear comes by, you fucks. What do you guys want from me? Something cool. A cool one. Winnie the Pooh pulls up? Huh? Winnie the Pooh pulls up and fucking munches a box?

Yeah, Winnie the Pooh fucking poops up on you. Yeah, dude. Let me see if I can think of any other cool ones. Yeah, honey on your pussy. Think of one of the cool ones not other cool ones yeah no i haven't heard one so another one would imply that if i was in the torture room and they're like these are the ones we're gonna do you i'd be like really but it's gonna float me down the river and okay lies are gonna land on my nose so i remember one it's it's the same sort of thing like with restraint and then i guess they put fucking

Some sort of food on your arms and a goat will lick your skin to the fucking bone What dude I don't feel like I really just don't even feel like that. You want look some up. Do you want? I don't want you to okay. No, we're past medieval torture. Yeah, dude. I'm sorry for that present. I was pretty whack dude You're whack. Well. I just Dude, I'm sorry for that presentation. That was pretty whack, dude. You're whack for this. Well, I just don't feel like those are effective at all. They're not even cool, either. Dude, if a goat was licking your skin off to the bone, dude, why would it do that?

How long would that take? Hold on, hold on. And how bad would that even really hurt? Like, it's, like, slowly... How about, like, we threw you in a pit with a fucking bear? Also, lick your skin to the bone? I don't think that... Like, how long is it licking you for?

Fucking 10 hours? Like, once the food's gone, they're probably over it. What is... No, hold on. Why are they it licking you for like once the food's gone they're probably over it what is why are they licking you they don't lick people like that yes they okay hold on he's not on tiktok it's real see here's the problem is that you see something on tiktok and you're one of those people that thinks it's real your instantaneous belief i looked into it the victim of this torture technique is laid out in front of a goat and his feet are covered in salt water the goat begins to lick the sole of his foot and the tongue is so rough that it literally rips layers of skin off. These have been cases of this method of torture exposing

the bones of the feet. Show me a video. I don't believe it. Huh? Show me a video. I don't believe it. So TikTok would be good or YouTube? No, like a live video on TikTok. No, I mean, I believe that thing. It's just still mid that's pretty fucked if you want it should we go the number one one let's see oh yeah oh fucking a what one was that what number was that one that was only four so i was getting there all right this one's called the rack one of the most famous rack your mom just sits in front of the racks the one they do and you get hard to die of heart huh they put a lot of blow on your chest and i rail it until you die yeah that's the braveheart one. Where they pull you apart?

Yeah. So that one's pretty fucked up. Empowerment? Yeah, that one's fucked up. See, I like that one. When John says it, it seems fucked up. Yeah, the rack, I'm scared. If they tell me goat foot is my torture... The rack?

They strap your mom's rack to your chest and I suck it until you die? A goat licking my foot sounds like a type of torture that I deserve for, like... Fucking a goat? Like, not feeding a homeless person or something. I don't know. Yeah, definitely. It's like, oh, you're sentenced to community service and a goat's got to lick your foot a little bit. I just don't even feel like they would that aggressively lick your foot until that happens.

They're telling you that it would. If the salt thing, maybe. Here's one that's pretty fucked up. How rough is a tongue of a goat? Rough enough to lick them feet, baby. I mean, for a little bit, it's kind of fun, probably. one that's pretty fucked up how rough is a tongue of a goat rough enough to lick them feet baby like i mean it's for a little bit it's kind of fun probably it's like at the very beginning you'd be giggling yeah you'd be like oh come on mr. Mr. Goat um one of them is they'd rip girls tits off

the breast rippers stop okay you're done this is on it i know but you're done we're done we're just yeah or maybe it's a bad list. It's just not a fun... I just don't like this. It's not really interesting, yeah. Wait, hold up. This one I think was pretty sick. I doubt it.

No, I don't think it will be. I highly doubt it. I don't think it's just really the audience, you know? We're not like a medieval torture sort of pod. Well, that's what we're trying to get towards. We're trying to grow that part. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that what you're grooming our audience for?

This is a... First, you brought on fucking serial killings, and now you're, like, into... I have some serial killers. I got a little quick question for you guys. Garrett, are you more of an e-girls guy or an i-ladies guy? I don't know the difference.

E-girls or i-ladies? I know an e-girl is. I don't know an i-lady. I'm trying to get your ass. i-ladies. That's a question for you. My dude is about to get that. That was good.

I couldn't help it. But e-girlgirl for sure what's high lady you got cat ears you got cat ears i knew you did you know that one no i didn't i just know you you got headphones with cat ears marry me yeah that's fair oh speaking of that bullshit what is up with the npc shit yes thank you so good okay it's china psyop dude for i think it's indoctrinating us to ai like they're they're making people act so stupid that when they come out with the robots that are fake people we're gonna be like oh dude it's way better than this it's way better than oh roses roses oh okay gang gang gang gang fucking i came up with a term for him two terms we can either call them e-tards ooh or or thoughtistics ooh both out thought talkistics thought statistics i mean that bitch makes more money than us so who's really dude i think it's a china psyop

they they public no that girl just fucking hit the jackpot brother but i'm saying china's pumping money into the fucking lives, so half America thinks, oh, we could do fucking TikTok live, and then we're all NPCs over here fucking... Who's throwing money at that? I cannot believe that. Chinese psyops, dude. Spot accounts.

You're a fucking idiot. It's possible. That's got more legs than me thinking someone would pay for that. You don't think China would do that? Well, no. The people that are paying for it is tipping 50 cents at a time. It's not... If you were on there and you're like oh i want to see what the hot dog one which he does for that or whatever you'd maybe throw 25 cents but i wouldn't i wouldn't

we wouldn't yeah but the people who know would there's eight thousand so he's saying like there's like chinese like bot accounts that are just doing it and making it making it like super popular so that dude if you're trying to pump a hundred mil into fucking paying us to be npcs and then our whole country's retarded like someone saw that and their new career plan is that's what they're gonna do that's what i'm saying they're getting our next generation well okay first of all i don't think this is gonna last longer than like a week express i would be i would be if you don't think tiktok's a whole psyop has to be mark it has to why would it not be china hates us what does that have to do i love morgan's conspiracy corner dude china fucking hates us dude why this world war three

psyops baby psy what is wrong with you why would they not do that um ladies and gentlemen i apologize they fucking hate us for what you're having to listen to what do you mean who they fucking hate us not more russia and china hate us this is globally not doing this on the podcast you cannot this is you cannot talk about this kind of stuff on here it's true though no what do you mean the government yeah so the government would do that to us okay sure all right we're gonna take a quick break from the show it's time to unleash the beach beast within you. This summer, Manscaped is here to help you level up your beach game. Quick pause from the show. With their new Beard Hedger Pro Kit.

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to all your stubble trouble with Manscaped's beard hedger pro kit motherfucker. Get free shipping and 20% off with code NOFOMO at Manscaped.com. Quick break now. Now back to not breaking. Anywho. The Island Boys are on OnlyFans.

Oh, is that real? You mean the Island Men? That was real. It was real? Yeah, they were making out with each other. I usually don't get uncomfortable about gay stuff. Like, it's usually fine. Well, that was a lot. That had nothing to do with being gay. That was fucking weird.

So what kind of stuff do they do? I don't know, but I might... We have to pay for that. I might subscribe right now and find out. I bet you there's a leaked, if you looked it up. I think they're just doing kissing for now. No way. I'm looking it up. They're probably singing and sucking. I might subscribe right now. I bet you there's a leaked if you looked it up. I think they're just doing kissing for now. No way. I'm looking at it. They're probably singing and sucking.

There's no way. You think those dogs, are they brothers? Are you kidding me? Yes. Right? They're twin brothers. I mean, that's what I'm saying. Are they twins? They're just like making out with each other? See, I just don't know a whole lot about them. Island boys. They're the island men now. Island boys. I mean, I just don't know a whole lot about them. Oh, you just don't know. Island boys. They're the island men now. Island boys.

They're the island sucky teens. I mean, I just feel like that's really fucked up. Are they like, I guess it's just kind of my curiosity into what a man would do on OnlyFans. So they just like make out a bunch. They make out? Yeah. It's them doing stuff? You haven't seen this?

The clip of them making out? Well, I thought that was like maybe like a publicity stunt and then they would be like hooking up with chicks or something maybe. they gay or like ai heads or something or gay for each other i don't know well they're not that's incest that is incest yeah that's what i'm saying it's a little weirder than just gay because there's like girl twins ones that don't even make out with each other um they responded no they do they responded don't yeah they do they responded to incest they responded to incest criticism saying we're both straight males and kissing is not counted as a sexual act. They looked that up or what?

They had to have. Those? I don't use this. I don't argue with that. I don't use this lightly, but there's a couple people I would kill without any remorse. They're up there. I don't think they have any... I'd like to murder them.

Can I say that? There's no redeeming quality. Yeah, no. I mean, they are... Because they're sick tattoos. They are fucking... Good music, sick tattoos. I mean, the fact that we've let something like that happen time after time, people like that retarded, sorry, fucking stupid get popular

is just... we're fucked. We're fucked. I mean, look at everything. We just went over the NPC thing. That's what I'm saying. And then we've got that. And then the most popular, like, celebrity news right now is a porn star letting his wife fuck another porn star. It's like one of the biggest news things that's going on in the world.

That, I think, was on purpose. The more I look into it, there's no way, dude. No, I mean, it was on purpose. Yeah, he let her do that. I know, but I'm saying it's like, it was like a money thing for them to get married. They have a podcast together, and what they do is they interview a porn star,

and then they both fuck him. Yeah. Why the fuck would he let a dude fuck his wife, dude? That's, okay. Because she's a porn star. Well, she is a porn star. She's never done another male scene. And he let Mandingo fucking Blackcock BBC-er us.

I will say, I think it was publicity, obviously. Yeah, yeah. Like, they hyped it up. But that's got to be semi-destroying to your ego. But it just made him look horrible. Yeah, he looks so bad. All his responses to it and shit have just been, like, pathetic. There was one that was, like, I saw him, him like responding to a video of the guy saying like that

He fucked her better or whatever and he's like he's like first of all you couldn't possibly fuck her because I do because I've got love He's like I have a four-letter. Oh, dude He's like I I have a four-letter word that you don't have love and yeah, he looks really bad horny as shit Yeah, second of all wrong. He's got a fucking missile. Yeah, he fucked her bit better, dude And then they were talking they talked about it in person like together on a podcast oh yeah and she was like i was sore for like a couple days i'm like what dude well and she said it wasn't hard to come back to your dick that's all that shit too that's so bad it's sad it's sad so what did he okay they didn't do it for money they have money like i just can't figure out why the

fuck you do no they did it for more money. How much fucking money do you need, brother? I mean, I don't think he made that much money. I'd like to kind of dig a little more into it and see why they actually did that. Because there's got to be something deep here. Because usually they interview, like, some, like, porn star girls and they, like, fuck her. It's only girls, yeah. Yeah.

Well, there's a video of him... So maybe she was just like, I want to do something. There's a video of him and her on Andrew Schultz's podcast. And he's interviewing them. And he asks... After it happened? No, it was's podcast, and he's interviewing them, and he asks. After it happened? No, it was like three or four years ago. Oh, before. And it was before, and he's like,

would you guys ever consider doing a guy? And he's like, fuck no. Oh, yeah. I'm 22, and he's like, no, not a shot. And then he let the Thunderman just come in. Yeah, and then you let the absolute missile dropper drop his wife. I don't get, like. I just don't.

Well, it's like I couldn't still love that woman the same fuck no he did let her do it how much money can you really get from that that's what I'm saying dude they're in an open relationship obviously which is hard for me to grasp open on his side only

I think it was like only if they do it together I don't think they're just out doing their thing he talked it. They said they were they've done like swinger stuff. Yeah, that's why they're over here Yeah, this so they have an open aspect to it. Yeah, but so like okay So maybe she at some point was like hey, we're fucking all these girls I think that's I kind of do that, but then it's like okay. I'm down with that you did the aspect of picking the largest penis. Have you seen it?

I haven't seen the video. And then filming it. You haven't seen the video? No. Have you seen it? You paid for it? I'm uncomfortable. No, you just type it in.

There's like a million free ones. Are you kidding me? It's like the most popular. Where'd you get them? You can't really guess this one. I've seen like, I've seen like, you just type in Lena the Plug and the guy's name and go fucking not safe search. It's the first fucking thing on there.

He was talking like hell of shit. 29 minutes, dude. He was talking like hell of shit on like a different show. Yeah. Not shit, but just kind of like. Which, the black guy? Yeah, yeah. Just kind of just like big dicking Adam.

Oh, yeah, he was big time. And he rightfully so. I mean, quite literally big dick. Well, there was a, one of the fucked up interview things that I saw is he cream pies her at the end no he doesn't

yeah he does and apparently that wasn't planned for the scene and then she eats the cum out of the cream pie no

I'm sorry it's gross that's so fucking I mean I liked it in the aspect of the porn part but cause you saw yourself

getting cream pie I feel like he was like I could taste it I feel like he probably just like oh yeah fuck I don't give a fuck I mean, I liked it in the aspect of the porn part, but... Because you saw yourself getting creamed by it. I feel like he was like... I could taste it. I feel like he probably just like, oh, yeah, fuck, I don't give a fuck, whatever. And now he's just like, holy fuck, that was a little much. I think he said he watched it, which is crazy. I couldn't... You definitely couldn't...

No, no, he watched, like, the video. Oh, I'm sure he did. Why? Something's wrong with the guy. You've got to protect yourself in some way. They just have, they're weird. That guy's just weird. They are weird.

Right? It doesn't make any sense. I couldn't even fathom. Like, there's not an amount of money to where I would want to watch that. Right? You have to protect yourself a little bit. Even if I was just dating a girl, I'd be like, a million dollars maybe. Yeah, how much of that's...

If I'm like expecting to, like like that and then i have to stay in a dating girl situation it's your wife he's been married i'm saying even if i'm just dating yeah i'll be like no what all right how about you to let somebody fuck your wife i don't think like no money no matter what at the end she's not my wife yeah like no money right no money uh there's an amount there's always a money. There's an amount. There's a money. Is there though? What are the ground rules? Like $100 million?

Is it on the internet? Do I have to watch it? I'm saying no. $100 million? On camera like that? There's not an amount. If it's on the internet and I have to watch it, the amount's large. If I just have to know it happened and I don't have to see it.

It doesn't matter. I'm divorcing this person anyway, okay? Okay, that's I'm saying you know I'm out of money Where you have to like get over it? Oh? Where I have to emotionally get over it guess where I'm getting emotionally over it with somebody else fucking with my hundred million dollars in Whatever country I want to go to that's true Yeah, that's on my yacht with a bunch of Leo's fucking rejects.

Yeah, that's just not something. I don't understand that. And they are married, right? Yeah. Yeah. 100%. They have a kid, I'm pretty sure. No, they do not.

I'm pretty sure. I'm 90% sure. I'm almost positive. Really? Yeah, I'm pretty damn sure that they do. No, so that kid is eventually going to see that. Well, they have like dozens of tapes. Well, I think it's a little different seeing another guy fucking your mom.

Definitely. And still, like, could you imagine trying to reprimand your kid and he's like, dude, fuck you, dude. What are you gonna do, you cuck bitch? I'll go call that guy, dude. That's my dad. He's my dad. Could actually be his dad.

The next one. Is it true? Do they have kids? I hope not. Well, I mean, I'm sure they plan on it. I mean, go for it hold up oh yeah no i have one in about nine this is the pathetic video i saw he said someone's like roasting mo like watch like your next baby come out black or something he's like if it does i'll treat it like my own and i'll love that no he did not swear to god it was on a live. They're lost, bro.

Everything is lost. He's like, because I'm a man. And I'm like, no, that's not what that makes you. That doesn't dictate you being a man. I'm just wondering if the whole thing is staged. Like, what if that's not their kid and they just planned the whole thing to get rich as fuck?

Dude, look at Conspiracy Morgue. Why is that where your head goes? Why does it have to be so complicated? That's not their kid, and they just plan the whole thing to get rich as fuck. Dude, look at Conspiracy Morgue. Why is that where your head goes? Why does that have to be so complicated? Why could they not just want to make more money? I mean, no matter what, it was no money motivated, no matter what. It's not like these guys are millionaires. Adam the Plug is a millionaire, dude.

He has one of the most popular podcasts on YouTube. He was like an OG big-time podcaster. Okay. I'm saying as soon as I'm a millionaire millionaire I don't think I need that much money. They don't live within their means as much as we probably do. Maybe they're struggling. I think it's more likely that it's a conspiracy

than it is I let somebody fuck my wife and come at her. They're porn stars. More of the conspiracy is he actually doesn't give a fuck at all and he's pretending like he cares to drive up the fucking popularity that's more that's more likely i think well that that yeah or maybe they're not even actually married that's if anything's conspiracy the government yeah it's probably china might be japan dude you guys got to start getting on this stuff no we don't it's really don't and you should get off you need to get out real whatever it is you need to get out of here i'd rather you be on like heroin than whatever you're on right

now i would so much rather find out you're just addicted to drugs yeah you know how much of a relief that would be if i you just one day i found like a needle in your room and i was like oh it's that explains just that he's been on pcp damn it oh my god what does that one do again turns into a fucking superhero yeah cranks your heart rate to like 200 and makes you feel invincible. That's the one where people could fight like eight cops and just fucking run away. That's the one? Yeah. It gets your adrenaline fucking all the way up.

PCP. I think PCP is like basically just adrenaline. I don't know. Like. Sounds lit. Yeah. I mean, I'm down. Yeah.

That's one I've never really considered. See, that's why when you get the rage room. Is PCP addicting? They all are, right? I don't think any of them are not. I mean, you don't hear of like, oh, that guy's a PCP addict. I don't think it's more of the readily available ones anymore. I think we kind of had...

I feel like the old PCP and some of the other stuff, we phased those out. That's kind of gone. We've refined the cool ones that they like to do now. Yeah. Because Steve-O was addicted to PCP, I'm pretty sure. That's how he would do those stunts. He just couldn't feel anything. Yeah.

It's like Quaaludes, our version of Quaaludes. Why'd they get rid of those? Found better stuff, dude. Now we got Molly. Dude, I wonder how many people are just actively trying to make drugs out there. New drugs? A lot, probably. It's got to be a lot of people.

I think it's more like they're trying to make a drug for something else, and then people take it, and they're like, whoa. Yeah. And it's like, oh, now we got ketamine. Yeah, that's definitely how it works. But I bet there's a healthy amount of people just trying to make new drugs. Well, there's a Vice documentary on 2C-B, which is a relatively new one. The 2C?

Yeah. It's pretty interesting. Which is dank. Yeah, that shit will make you go. If you're like, oh, it's like LSD, yeah that shit will make you go you're like oh it's like lsd moly and ketamine combined it's like it's just a research chemical that feels like kind of all those things but it's not it's not like it's people literally think it's just like adderall and acid or something i thought i mean that's like the feeling you get like energy but

also like it's a hallucinogenic yeah but it's not it's just like it's its own thing that one's a good whoever's doing that one keep that yeah but yeah the people that guy's murdering the people it's like a whole thing about one's good. Whoever's doing that one, keep that going. That guy's murdering it. It's like a whole thing about the people making it, and they're like, oh, have you ever tried it? They're like, no, I've never touched this fucking garbage. It's like literal people living in huts in Colombia. And they're like, no, I wouldn't touch it. Oh, really?

Yeah. Oh, well, they're dumb. Yeah. Because we love it. I don't like that one. You don't like that one? That's the one I threw you to the choke slam you to the ground on. I got violent.

Was that that one? Yeah. When you got mad at me because I made funny? What did I say? I was like asleep. Yeah, you were like asleep. In the middle of the club. I mean, I laughed.

It was never serious. I don't think I realized where I was. And you were just like this pest. You just kept waking me up. No, I was, I was on a, at a, at a booth,

at a table. And then I just got up and just grabbed you by the neck and tried to throw you to the floor. And then I was literally just like, I'm going home. That was, that was weird. That felt wrong. Good times though.

Yeah. It was good times. What else you got? Fucking conspiracy, man. No, don't fucking. No, this isn't a conspiracy don't entice him um i had something i was trying to get to before we went oh yeah i was gonna say what like since we just had the

movies like what what would you categorize who's the worst person at the movies right you have like the couple talking you have the guy who's like either like actively texting or maybe like picks up a call like sam did right next to me or you have like or you have like chair tappers slash kickers chair kicker can suck but i'll nip i'll nip all of them in the bud yeah like what's the woe though if you bring out your phone i'm i might hit you like i smacked sam's phone right against them but that's like your friend i'm telling you verbally to put your phone down. Yeah, if, like, the person next to me that I didn't know busted out their phone, I'd be like, yo, no.

But I think worse is, like, people, like, talking behind you. Talking bugs the fuck out of me as well. Like, I will turn around and say, shut the fuck up. Yeah, you should be killed. I'll actually, like, fight a random person and probably get my ass beat for that. Yeah, there's only two fucking rules in there. And that's shut up and fucking don't.

Don't talk and get off your fucking phone. Yeah. But chair kickers piss me the fuck off, too. Chair kickers one, too, where like. It's not like the obvious accidental little tap. I'm talking like consistent. It might take me a while to say something for that one because I'll give them the benefit of the doubt. But if it happens like three plus times.

Yeah. Yeah. That's an easy one, though, because you can just be like are you like are you fucking kidding me and they're like oh my yeah usually they're like oh my god i would you know what else that's the first time in a movie that like those type of theaters that i haven't had like the really nice seats in a while that haven't had the really nice yeah it kind of sucked they were decent we had mad leg room though am i tripping we did have good leg room like i walked past you guys in the aisle and like i didn't even have you didn't even have, you didn't have to

stand, you didn't have to move. Yeah. I thought IMAX was supposed to recline though. Yeah. There, I was expecting at least like a little, like it doesn't have to be like this, but like a little nudge. Yeah. Like IMAX is fire, but like, I think I would rather just start at the lot and just being

literally horizontal with like a pizza in front of me. Yeah. What's the rooftop one? The rooftop. Have you seen that one? There's like a rooftop one where they're like sitting in like beanbag chairs, like giant pizza in front of me. What's the rooftop one? Have you seen that one? There's like a rooftop one where they're like sitting in like beanbag chairs, like giant beanbag chairs. Yeah, I think that's the only, I'm not sure.

It's just like a summer series. You sit in like a fucking lawn chair or something. I don't know if it's like new. No, they're like dank little seats. They play like whatever came out last year. Oh, it's not like a new theater. It's not a theater. It's like the rooftop of an apartment.

They're like, oh, fucking come on up for community night. We're serving fucking cheese and crackers. Well, that's the kind of seat I want They're like, oh, fucking come on up for community night. We're serving fucking cheese and crackers. Well, that's the kind of seat I want to be in. Yeah, beanbags? Like a giant beanbag chair. Oh, if it's beanbags. No, dude, the lot. The recliners?

Which one's the lot? The one with the fucking recliners and there's not anyone. There's a bunch of recliners. No, like I'm talking like flat. Is that the one downtown? Liberty Station and... Oh, you know what the lot is, dude. It's the one at the lot. It's the like... Yeah. Flat. Is that the one downtown? Liberty Station and... You know what the lot is, dude. It's the one at the lot.

It's the lot. Yeah. Liberty Station and La Jolla. There's not a lot of them, though. Yeah, there's not. And realistically, it was probably cheaper than what we paid for the IMAX. Was it? Yeah.

We had to do it, though. We had to do it. Yeah. I thought it was going to be a problem at the start because it felt like we were too close and it was kind of fucking confusing. Why was the screen so curved? I got used to it, but it was so curved. I was like, yo.

I was kind of getting a little queasy. Yeah, it was weird vibes to start. But we were immersed in that bitch. Yeah, we were. Yeah, the world was kind of shaking. The sound in an IMAX theater is like 10 times louder, too. Yeah, it's loud. It was long. It was loud. It was long.

It was loud. It was long and loud. I'll give it both of those. And it was an 8.7. I'm leaving it there. It was an 8.77. It's kind of crazy to think that it's louder. Like, how fucking hard would it be to just make them all that loud?

Yeah. But anyways. That's a good point. Do we want to get some fucking random shit or what? Yeah, what do you got, dude? I'm tired of Morgan. You're just tired of him? Can you just zip it for the rest of the episode? I can. You want to get some fucking random shit or what? Yeah, what do you got, dude? I'm tired of Morgan. You're just tired of him? Can you just zip it for the rest of the episode?

I can. You want to go? He got you there. What episode is this? Go ahead, bud. What do you got? All right, all right, all right. Let's get right into...

What do you think girls are thinking about when they're trying not to cum? That's just a funny question you because it's not something that happens you have whatever it is it's really good you having sex with her they're really good like whatever it is we need to ask them yeah ladies how do you do it it might be better for you if you just tell us yeah they're thinking about the sex they're having right it has to be their mind is blank they're so in the moment they're just so in the moment yeah this is crazy underwhelming do you you're wanting us to honestly there's not an honest answer

there's a great setup, but there's nowhere else to go. That's a really good setup. Yeah, that was a good one. Okay, yeah, we just, you know. Yeah, there's no real answer to that because I think they're thinking of, they're trying to think of things to come. It's the opposite.

Yeah, I know, I know. They're like, please, fucking God, anything. Yeah, they're sitting there like, imagining Liam Neeson or something. That's fair. Oh, here's a good one. Do you think all guys say random shit and then piggyback off each other

until they're speaking gibberish like we do? Like when we... You know we'll say one thing and then we'll just keep on saying different iterations of it? Yeah. I do think everyone does that. I don't think everyone does it the way we do it in a lot of different voices.

We do it to an elite level. It's like the voices, the baby talk that we'll get into yeah me and john were having the conversation the other day that if they if we were ever which we are being recorded right now but if we didn't know we were being recorded and we were having like just a random not even it wouldn't not even inappropriate it's not a conversation it's just a baby just the shit that we say to each other. Doesn't make a lot of sense. Like if we're like singing to each other from across the house, like we'll just be singing some ridiculous like mock of a song.

We would never get a girl to talk to us. I feel like we do that in front of girls. No? No, not at the level that we get into. Not like, yeah, maybe in front of like your girlfriend. I'll do it in front of a girl that I know. But even then, we definitely pump the brakes. Like there's some shit. I'll do it in front of a girl that I know. But even then we definitely pump the brakes. Like there's some shit that I'll catch us saying

and I'm just like, what the fuck is going on? If it was ever played back to you, like in a hearing and someone played back a recording of it. Mortified. Like when you were singing in the shower the other day, me and Anthony were sitting on the couch and he's like, this is from the minute he wakes up. He's like, he'll just come up with a random song that he's just dialed from the minute he wakes up so like he's like

he'll just come up with a random song that he's just dialed in on for the day and it's so valid it is bad we'll just start

like making up lyrics to a song like what's been our recent one we've been going in on something what was there was one

that I was see but I can't manufacture it it's just gotta feel it just comes out of nowhere and then the best part is when you hit a good one then like 5 minutes later your boy sings it

and they add lyrics they add lyrics and I'm like yep we're onto something we're onto something big yeah they hate it and they're like shut the fuck up and then they'll be like I feel you on 22 and you're just like fuck that's some good shit there's something wrong with us

I hope that that's an aspect of all there's something wrong with us i hope that that's an aspect of all male friendships though if it isn't incorporate it you'll have a fucking time you'll expand your brain you know yeah i feel like that's like creativity like we'll just like make a sus remix of every song on earth sus remix needs to be added to every different group in the world yeah i feel like that's just like a whoever you're hanging out with on like a sunday morning that's gonna happen you know hungover energy definitely breeds that for sure yeah but you'd be surprised like 2 p.m on a tuesday it comes around oh yeah whoever you live with that's yeah that's the first thing i did this morning started screaming something and anthony pops out of his room he's

like i'm on a call you're like oh god he literally was just sitting on the couch on his phone he's like all fucking day dude he loves it that's like you're telling me no he loves it screaming i forgot what that one was that was a good one too it's always some like old ass song with like just horrific remake lyrics yep yeah anything from the 90s i feel like yeah it was pretty stupid it's hard to think of even one right now I couldn't do it I could like and there's some

that we sing so regularly I can't even think of one yeah it's a spur of the moment thing oh like I'm blue I would be I could suck off a guy

I would suck off a guy I would suck off a guy I would suck off a guy we've got some we've got some hitters in the arsenal that we go to regularly yeah we need to

honestly weird out all the shit out of it. My ass wide open. My boys give me everything. We can go all day. This is new. Honestly, play a song and we can suss rap. Right?

I'm thinking, okay, let's. Just go blind. Suck on his fucking balls let him come let him come it's gonna be he had that he had that cock with the girth

with the girth yeah see looking at him next thing you know That cock with the girth. With the girth, yeah, see. Looking at him. Next thing you know. My heart blows, blow, blow, blow, blow, blowing my dog. Yeah, that's easy. That's easy. Not our finest work, but it's like that. Well, the thing is, it gets refined.

Oh, yeah. When you're actually doing it. Yeah. Yeah, catch me off guard. Well, you'll catch like a good line from your boy, and then you add that to the repertoire and then it just kind of we kind of get hung up

on like maybe one to two songs a day yeah easily we like to have fun I don't know fun guys it's kind of an autism thing

I think for me sue us yeah it's definitely an autism copyright infringement click fuck off yeah no

boys are balling the boys are balling dude the boys are balling what else you got shrimp let's see. Do you have any desire to see the Barbie movie? The Barbie movie?

No. What did it get rated? We talked about this last time. It got rated pretty high. What does that mean? So did a bunch of shitty movies. What did it get rated? I don't trust Rotten Tomatoes. It got like a 92.

No way. Yeah. You saw how many people were dressed in pink today at the movie theater. That's them. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, got it 7.. No way. Yeah. That's every girl. You saw how many people dressed in pink today at the movie theater. That's them. Yeah. Yeah, I mean. It got a 7.7 on IMDb.

What did Oppie get on IMDb? Like nine or something. I think it did. Okay, so if I said Oppie was a 7.7, I'm saying I would think Barbie's probably like a 3.5. It got a 3.2 from users.

Yep, that sounds right. Barbie? Out of 10? 5. I mean, I just don't see a world where that's going to be good. Yep, that sounds right. Barbie? Out of 10? Five. I mean, I just don't see a world where that's going to be good. No, I'm out. No. And like, low-key, like, I love going to the movies,

but there's very few movies I will do it for, and Oppenheimer was like my one that I was like, I have to go. And then even that, it was so long that I was just kind of like, fuck. You can't do it that long, dude. I can't be in a theater that long, man. I was thinking of like, fuck. You can't do it that long, dude. I can't be in a theater that long, man. I was thinking of this, too. If that was a three-part miniseries on HBO, like three one-hours, that would be fucking dang.

Oh, it would have been. You're right. Like, second one ends with the bomb, and then the third one is the fucking... That would be so... Because that was a full separate hour. Yeah. That's a good take. That is a good take. That's a that's a clean take look at that dude some takes are coming out dude

i've never give me the take i would love for fucking nolan like tarantino to get into some like fucking limited series bro that shit would fucking right i think that's what it has to be from now on limited series hit dumb dude because i'm just horizontal as you could ever they really do one day or i feel like yeah like five of my favorite series of all time are just like eight episodes. That's it. Yeah. What's the Russia one? Oh Chernobyl that shits good fucking true detective. Oh my god. Yeah HBO just a good Sunday afternoon. Just buy just erase it. Mm-hmm. Yeah, and then you like cool Nolan You wanna make a three-hour movie? Let's make it eight. What's the one? What's the other detective one that we like with the weird guy the weird like gray haired guy oh sinner sinner that one's pretty oh yeah that was okay

no that latest season ripped anything where i can't fucking figure it out it's good so most things what else you got um let's see here a fucking single thing all right going off the sus stuff um here we go. Yes. Yes, our expertise. Do you think if a dude was trying his fucking absolute hardest, you'd get a boner? Like, at what point? Yes.

What do you mean? What do you mean? His absolute hardest? Like, he's like, get off my cock? Yeah, you're just standing there. He's going to town. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, 100%. You just, okay.

At a certain point, it just feels good. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, 100% you just okay at a certain point. It just feels good Yeah, I don't think there's a certain point I'm like that feels good If you just throw it live to you, I just closed my eyes I'll be like fuck she's hot Yeah Damn, she's hot is he throwing around the lip if I could have my phone in my hand, I'll fucking later. Yeah, it's a large mouth bass. Okay. I mean, that's what I was thinking, but you guys nailed it.

I've got a horrific iteration of that. It was one of us. That is horrific. I love how you went straight there. But yes. Where else am i gonna go like you didn't even need to go that far down the rabbit hole to get that question no it popped in my head it was right at the top that was that was very when he imagined okay okay because

obviously he's like yeah because obviously the answer was like yes to the objective so you think it's higher probability or lower probability it's not lower i don't think it's lower because i mean objectively if it's going to be a guy i want it to be one of good-looking home well cuz okay here's because I know you'd be good at it Well if it's a random guy yeah, I got a way about it Yeah, I know my boys would throw down you think you would throw it like a demon my boys with I don't have a gag Reflex is that valid yes, that's fast I have a horrific game. That's a no gas full of vitamin. What? Yeah, you do no I do not

swear to God oh That's no cap. I take very swollen vitamins, bro. Yeah, you do. No, I do not. Really? Swear to God. Oh, fuck. I can't wait to click. Well, that answers the age-old question. Full mask. If a dick goes down the throat and doesn't gag, was it really down there? Say that again?

He said the age-old question. I was doing a play on, like, a tree falling in the forest. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Is there a burn in my shorts? It doesn't gag, did it? Yeah, did it even go down there? Yeah, the lack of gag reflex is a quality i look for in a woman yeah well i mean i i want

to know that our kid is not going to have it either so it's a dominant we found the line i think it's a recessive gene so you have to find double we found the line and we stopped it's in every generation so yeah it skips? No. It's just a family. Yeah, that's a family trait. You're getting it. That's a dominant trait. It's not recessive. X, XX.

Double dog. I would love if your kid had it for sure. Yes. Well, yeah. He's gonna. Yeah, he is. As he pipes down your kid. What's the rules if we have kids the same age?

It would be my dream if they fucked. What's the rule on me? Oh, if you have a daughter, can I date her? No. Why do you think I've been staying single so long? I'm just waiting, dude. I am too, just so that can't happen. We're all playing defense right now?

You guys are all playing hardball? Yeah. That's good. That takes a lot of strength. That was darker. That was darker. Won't take a lot of strength, trust me. For the record, I just want to say that I'm talking about

when his kid turns 18. Oh, I wasn't. Okay. I'm talking. No one was thinking that. I don't know why you said that. I'm talking sleeping in the nursery. You know, he's a fucking'm talking sleeping in the nursery You know

You throw out fucking kids Call me the bassinet boy There he goes The bassinet Alright Alrighty then The bassinet bandit Alrighty then

Here we go folks What else you got? Okay Just Wait where is that one? You have had it? Just what? Bear with you?

As we're trying to do constantly Are you going to do the hand motion for this one we might have done this yo let's jump right into uh all right so now fucking nothing no i don't want to get like this dark with it okay why not what is this we're just what are you talking about we almost went as dark as you can possibly go this is probably an up a light-hearted question talk about having sex with your unborn child. The fuck else? Everything's on the table. Okay, okay. If there's an apocalypse and it's just you and your sister,

how long does it take you to go for it? Well, it's not like it takes me to go for it. It's a requirement. Like, we need to repopulate, right? That's what I'm saying. As long as it takes me to talk her into it, I guess? I don't know. What?

I mean, is she making me prove that there's no other women around or anything? Wouldn't that be something? No proof for years? You're just on this hunt. Just a longest walk. I'm like, dude, I'm telling you. We cover every square inch. We're just like, well.

She would make you search the whole fucking world before you smash her. No, I'd riz her up. You'd riz your search the whole fucking world before you smash her. I'd RZA up You raise your sis yeah, I mean you know you'd know how right yeah, definitely yeah, right Garrett. I will drop this You already answered me by saying that made it sound like that's something I'd I have It's a goner that's something I have. Flippin' it, tagging her. Send that directly to her. Let me retract that. Flippin' it, tagging her. Hey, yo, you better check your boy. In a super not weird way, next topic.

Okay, if you were a pastor, what do you think your favorite sin would be? Dittling kids. You think... That's their favorite one, right? There's a reason they're all doing it. Well, no, I said pastor, not fucking priest. What's the difference?

Is that different? What's the difference? There's no... What the fuck? One's a conspiracy? Because priests can't have sex. What, can pastors? Yeah, with kids.

Yeah. No, but I mean, like, secretly, what do you think your favorite sin would be? Yeah. Because, you know, it it's gotta hit a little different if you're not supposed to do it that much like when you do like you just finished a whole sermon on one of them

yeah and then you just go home and you just fucking like yeah rip a line um I think I'd be digging

I mean that was a loaded fucking question for the record yeah what do you mean if you were a rapist what would your favorite sin be raping I'd like to rape kids

no I said pastor yeah no shit it's a fucking it's synonymous it's not I get there's what would your favorite sin be? Raping. I'd like to rape kids. No, I said pastor. Yeah, no shit. It's a fucking... It's synonymous. It's not. What would my favorite sin be? Yeah, fucking little boys. What do you think?

That's the funnest one that no one gets to do. The Sunday school fucking swiper. We got dark. Yeah, whoa, we went heavy. Oppenheimer's got us in our darkness. We can be dark. I think this is fine. This is fair game.

Darkness is our ally. This is completely fine. Darkness... this is fine. This is fair game. Darkness is our ally. This is completely fine. Darkness. No, it also is dark. Continue. Go ahead. Here we go. Here we go.

Okay. Did you think of anything like just like thought provoking or was it all just like horrific when you came up with these? I'm loving these. No, I like it. I just want to know what kind of vibe you're in. Do we actually have fan submissions? Because the fans, they get hyped when someone commented on our video.

They're like, I was so stoked when you brought up my question. Yeah, we're doing them all at the end. We're doing them all at the end? Yeah. If you guys had fuck you money, how would you fuck on other people? Like what would be like the first couple things you did? I don't know if I'd use it for evil. Yeah, what?

Fuck you money. I think you're just a bad person. Yeah, dude, are you just a horrible dude? If you had a bunch of money, how would you ruin other people's lives? Well, I wouldn't. I said fuck you money. It's in the question. Well, but fuck you money doesn't imply that you're fucking people with it.

I'd give a blind person a fucking Lamborghini Huracan and say, have a good time. Yeah, fuck you money is like... You do whatever the fuck you want. Yeah, exactly, but it doesn't have to be whatever I want to hurt other people. Yeah, I'm not is like... You do whatever the fuck you want. Yeah, exactly. But it doesn't have to be whatever I want to hurt other people. Yeah, I'm not saying I'd do it. I'm just saying, what would you guys do? I'd give a homeless man on methamphetamine a fucking Tesla and say, have at it.

Just watch him torch the city. Wait, so yeah, in this hypothetical scenario, I'm rich. I don't know. I don't think like that, Morgan. Yeah, this isn't one that resonates for me. It would take me a little while to conjure up something so sick. No, I'm not saying you have to do something fucked up. I'm just saying like you let you literally phrase the

question that yeah well that's how you're backpedaling no i'm i'm forward pedaling like what what do you think like piece of shit things you do first i don't that that's what i'm saying i don't think i would do okay i could i'd come up with some shit but i'm saying like ordering fucking something stupid to your house or something i'm not saying like go fucking enslave this doesn't inherently come to mind but I can think of some shit

like I'd find out like what some dumb shit I would use like I'd find out where like an ex-girlfriend was going to dinner and I'd like buy out the restaurant for the night

or something like that okay okay some petty thank you yeah some petty shit like that'd be fun like oh sorry Mr. Beaupre's

reserved the whole spot and I got like 80 bitches with me yeah yeah you see like a chick post that she's going to some concert or something and just like pay the or like they're literally there and I got like 80 bitches on me. Yeah, yeah. You see like a chick post that she's going to some concert or something and just like pay the farmer.

Or like they're literally there and I'm like, I'll give you a million dollars to fucking kick these fuckers out and give me the whole restaurant for the night. They're like, absolutely.

See, now you're getting warmed up. Or just cancel the show. Oh yeah, like a concert? Yeah. Yeah, like, oh my god, it's Blink-182, I've been dying to see him.

You're like, hey, Blink-182, here's a billion dollars. I'll give a security guard like 500 bucks to kick them out or something. Okay. I would do some petty shit. I can even think of like who i would do that to but if i've had a person to do it i would do it yeah that's maybe that's the problem i don't have

anybody i really care about enough to any shit would be fun yeah have you seen that i bawled my boys the fuck out oh yeah for sure of course but um wait have you guys seen that prank that people are doing or not not a bunch of people are doing but they'll like hand somebody airpods in a walmart that are not paid for or i did see that yeah they'll be like they'll pretend like they won them yeah on their show but they stole them well no they were just like in the store like they're in walmart and oh they're in the store yeah so they'll be like grab them off the shelf and they'll walk up to someone and be like oh hey like here's oh and then people walk out with them yeah and then you're like you won and it's like fucking going off the

that's good that's good that's a classic already that's good stuff all right we could do some fan subs here why do you sound so like it's like why do you sound like this is like this is I'm most excited all right we could do some no I for one appreciate the only people that allow this show to exist are fans no i'm not i don't even like to call them fans because they're our friends morgan has a conspiracy that we don't have any fans and they're flat and space is real here's a word from no one would buy this little fans for us dude it was a conspiracy that's the that's how they keep it for that he finds a conspiracy within a conspiracy conspiracy okay these are their friends subs. This one just says, thoughts on kayaks.

Whack. Oh, I was a kayaker. You would. You would. My dad was big into kayaks. I would kayak around. Don't use that as a crutch. It's a good way of amplifying aquatic sports.

You get to places that you couldn't. Have you ever been on a jet ski? That amplifies it pretty heavily. Yeah, but you can- I'd rather go 80 than fucking paddle in a fucking canoe. Yeah, jet skis are a little much, though. Like, you can't take a jet ski in, like, kelp areas where we would, like, dive down and get, like...

So you're getting out of your kayak and then you're fucking diving down with the kayak on top? Yeah, you have an anchor on the kayak. Or you tie it off to the kelp. Wait, do you have anchors for kayaks? Is this facts? I don't know. I've never been in such a bad position have an anchor on the kayak. Or you tie it off to the kelp. Wait, do you have anchors for kayaks? I don't know. I've never been in such a bad position where I'm on a kayak. I would not know.

You guys don't do a lot of things. I had an anchor on my boat. You can anchor those fuckers. Wait, how much does a fucking kayak anchor weigh? What do you mean? It doesn't have to weigh a lot. It's just to hold it in place. So it doesn't float away when you get off it. It's not like a fucking anchor.

Yeah, I can see that. It doesn't have to be extremely heavy. But yeah, kayaks? But they're gay. Yeah. They're pretty high up there, right? I'd say there isn't a gayer thing you could be in in the water. Unless you're literally floating on a man's ass with your dick inside him

he's like holding his breath and you're on his back you're trying to blow him up yeah being inflatable yep through the backside you're blowing the back air up his ass to keep him afloat when you're blowing your boy up through the back like like an inflatable fucking army arm. Only gayer thing would be using your boy as a kayak. Arm floats. Only thing gayer than a kayak is your boy as a kayak. Probably straighter. Kayaks are gay. Well, what about like the ones

I'd rather be on a paddle boat than a kayak. What about the boats where you have to fucking pedal? Ooh, those are gay. Those are stupid. You could like... Okay, wait. I think we're Yeah, but like, you could like... Okay, wait. I think we're talking about kayaks where you're on like just...

You're just chilling on the ocean. No, I get there's rafting and all that shit. But like the ones where they're going down fucking waterfalls is kind of cool. Okay, kayaks are sick. They're kind of cool. Kayaks are pretty sick. So there is a cool part.

No, they're almost always sick. You could do it on a jet ski, though. No, you can't go... Fucking launch off the cliff at 80? Yeah. Just can't go fucking launch off the cliff at 80 yeah but you can't whitewater jet ski though i'm saying kayaks rip yeah well don't backtrack on me i'd rather ride my homies taint down a fucking waterfall than a kayak. Okay, that's just something that we all want to do.

It's a personal opinion. That trumps everything, though. I could say that for everything. No, I think kayaks rip, dude. That's so... Imagine me with a fucking colorful helmet on, fucking white water. Like, I'd rather be... Yeah, see, that I'd like.

I'd rather be pedal boating in a literal swan than on a kayak with a girl. No, but pedal boats kind of go stupid. You have, like, crackers and fucking salami So I'm saying you have a little animal cracker charcuterie bottle of wine the ones with a little like you could like laugh at it In a kayak everyone's laughing at you and in the pedal boat you're going nowhere like you're laughing You're laughing in in the Swan knowing it's kind of corny in a kayak you're like oh, I'm fucking ripping like no You're not but if you are ripping then you can rip whatever. Whatever, I'm not going to budge on this one. Class 5 Rapid.

I think kayaks rip. I'm putting my mark on the sand too. Pedal boats too. How often do you think you're going nowhere on a pedal boat? Paddle wax, dude. Paddle yakking? Paddle yakking? Yeah, pedal yakking.

Oh, if you had pedals. There are kayaks with the pedals. I bet there is. That's the worst combo you could get. You need a bigger anchor for those ones, for sure. The anchor? Yeah. You got to lock. That's the worst combo you can get. You need a bigger anchor for those ones, for sure. The anchor? Yeah. You got to lock down.

Yeah. Only if you're getting out, though. If you're not diving and stuff, you're not getting out. You've actually done that before? Are you fucking around? Yeah, I've been around, dude. Shit, damn it. Garrett, you love kayaks.

Kayaks rip, guy or girl. I forget who it was. That was a good question. Yeah. I love it. It was really good. That was a good one. That's why are the water version of those like lay down bikes. You know what I mean where you're like sitting, okay? I was thinking about this with the lay down bikes and shit

Here's the deal. Do you've seen the lay down bikes? You've seen the fucking like the escalator bikes or like the fucking ones with the all the types of bikes Yeah is the original bike not just the best bike? No, because you can't lay down. Is a jet ski not better than a kayak? Well, no, but these are just iterations of the bike. Okay, wait. How many different bikes?

Okay, we have the sit down pedal with your feet still bike. Just a regular bike. Yeah. And then you've got the lay back bike. Yeah. And then you've got the one back bike yeah and then you've got the one where you're like there's like a treadmill on their bike yeah what is and then you have a treadmill bike then you have a tandem bike okay those go objectively fuck those go

mental as shit is the best those fuck yeah don't slander a bike why i just why are there so many different types of like why do kayaks exist? People are whack, homie. You can't jet ski off a fucking river. You have to use a kayak to be a whitewater ripper, dude. I'm telling you, put me on a jet ski in a whitewater raft. I'll fucking torch it, bro. All right, who is that one from with the current

you don't do the ats with the current I'm going 140 you really don't like the fans they're friends not fans say their names my bad I wasn't fucking taking them down I responded to everyone though why don't you take their names

sorry Morgan's lost complete control this show So if you know off the absolute rails brother, what do you mean, dude? Do you not understand why people send stuff in cuz they want they'll fucking know that yeah, but they want Time I will get the name. Oh you guys got the names you got them and it's not that they want to shout out because you I want to give up in the open all the DMs before any of us can ever look at him ever Yeah, yeah, because I love them more than you guys. You just want to talk to them. You don't actually want to give them props.

Fucking liking girls' messages without letting one of the boys fucking DM her back. It's obscene. Yeah, dude, come on. My bad. They're not talking to you. They're not talking to you. They're not talking to you. Okay, well.

They think they're talking to us and you're doing it. Well, be more on it. They say a question and you just double tap. They're like, oh, they feel thought and heard. I responded to all of them they're like oh they feel thought and i responded to all of them thought about oh yeah you respond to all of them sure yeah next question guess you got no thanks for that question dude morg was probably gonna try and pretend like that was his until we made this segment anywho um we're off the fucking rails today you're a piece of shit talk about ask the can you give the next person their question please yeah um i fly private jets and I'm a professional DJ

But I can't get any girls. What the fuck do I do? This is real. I didn't fucking make this change genders Transition I fly private jets and I'm a DJ stop being a DJ You'll get mad pussy. Stop DJing and invite some fucking... Stop DJing and invite some bitches on the private jet. Yeah, what the fuck? Why do you need to be a DJ? He's cool. He probably rids the shit out of him

and he's like, let me play you guys a song. He's probably playing Weekend. You probably just got weak tunes, my dude. He's cool, but he invited me to fucking... Throw that guy's ass. Half off Pitcher Tuesdays at fucking Johnny's Pizza Shop. He's DJing. Yeah, quit DJing.

You fly private jets. What the fuck are you DJing for? He DJs in between trivia questions at trivia night at the local bar. Oh, yeah. Plays like 30 seconds of a song. Oh, alright next question! This one's from the office! Yeah, stop DJing. That was almost too good at doing it. That's why we started a podcast. We're done DJing. Yeah. DJing's for fucking losers. You time warp to 20-30 and you get one google search what are you looking up um this one kind of threw me for a loop this is that's a good i'm thinking immediately

like price of bitcoin or something wait so i i'm just in 2030 i get one google search and i come back toward this time yeah you just get one search oh Ooh, I might just rip, like, next year's, like, Super Bowl winner and just put the house on it. Yeah. That's good. Or, like... Yeah, like, you just type in 2024 Super Bowl winner. If I get one...

Oh, that's good. No, if I get one search, I'm going... How many mission impossibles are there? In the last six years, what was the highest odds of... Oh, biggest upset in the last five years of a super bowl team winning no just sporting event yeah because it doesn't it doesn't matter yeah biggest upset sporting event in the last five years like if the odds were like fucking five five thousand and one or yeah like fucking harvard won the like college you could throw like

fucking 10 grand on it and be a fucking trillion yeah because you do have to teleport back now and we don't have a lot to throw on it so true i think i could get some people behind it though i always think about that like i've got five right if you teleport yeah or like you knew right like you actually almost powerless you do but you know you know you're gonna be right like you can't really okay people on the gambling one i feel like i know the giants are gonna if i came to you and i said i would you believe me i don't think i would seriously i mean i would hope i would you have some explaining to do you know like how much like like i would give you like maybe 500 bucks i came to you and i'm like bro i swear to god i just got teleported to 2030 i know who's winning

the fucking i don't have so many questions i know who's winning the fucking... I would have so many questions. I know who's winning the college football championship this year. I promise at the house. But give it to me. It's tough. No, this would be easy. Oh, no, fuck, it wouldn't. No, the way you do that one is you just search the last 10 Super Bowl winners. You predict the one,

and then after that, you just get the next one. That's fair. Yeah. It doesn't have to be the next year yeah it could just be the biggest you could do super bowl okay yeah say it's in five years i'm like i'll tell you the exact one for the last that's why i was saying you pick like the last five years so then because then you say i'm glad i could prove yourself i am glad and i'm like that you know what if that ever happens not even gonna fucking tell you

oh okay so if we do not money things like what would be just like a curiosity thing that you would do um i'd check my facebook status if i have a girlfriend yeah i'd probably google my google yourself yeah so that i know if i need to jump or not yeah if it's even worth going back yeah just walk in front of us bro imagine okay that might be a waste though imagine you go just shot out of a cannon here imagine imagine you go, go on your Facebook, and it says, in a relationship with a dude. That's not a waste of Google. Would you think it's a joke?

Can I click on any links for my Google search? You get one shebang. But, like, do I get one search and one link? Imagine searching, like, your own name, and it's, like like just no one, you're so deep down the list you can't even find yourself. Yeah, the name would be a tough one. I wouldn't do that.

Because if it was you, nothing would pop up. Exactly. No results found. And even if you died, it might not even be on there. Ooh. It could say died though. You'd have to be pretty important to have that on there. Okay, if I get one Google search, I'm not just typing in John Marsh. I'm going to type in John Marsh facts about my psyched birthday

so that it goes to me. What would you type in to make sure it's you? Make sure you're alive. Huh? I wouldn't check if I'm alive. That's not the first thing I'm hoping when I Google it. If it wasn't money related, I can't think of anything that interesting. Was there any good movies in the last decade?

Yeah. Was Barbie good? Was Barbie too good? Morbius 5 is the number one rated movie. Was Morbius 5 as good as Morbius 1? I'm killing myself. All right, I'm going to end it. What else you got?

Who was that one? Props to that person. Morg hates you, though. Didn't put your name down. Would you go to Epstein's Island if he was still alive? Next that one's that one's that one's just too ruthless. I mean obviously I mean, it's just simple answer. Yeah, okay You're on a shit not saying I'm outside it outside of the kid part of it. It probably was a fun party Like just a party part. I mean, it's a sick spot.

Yeah. It had to have been, right? It's an island. Kick your feet up. I'm assuming round-the-clock service. It was probably like a good time. Meals were probably off the charts. Yeah.

Snacks, entertainment was probably good. Snap your fingers, you get a pina colada. A little toddler. Barbecue party. You know who's taking it to you. Yeah, that's where it gets tricky. Yeah, yeah. Because it goes back to the old...

The old kid debate? All right, all right, next. We can get rid of that one. We were joking. Why are you taking so long? Just read the next one. I just... I try to minimize the amount of things I have to cut.

I'll just rip it. You're on a shit ton of blow on me, that 10 out of 10 chick, but she has a micro penis. Would you? From experience, yeah. Oh, fuck. Large clit, micro penis, no one knows.

Yeah, it's the same thing. The balls were a dead giveaway, though. I'm on a shit ton of blow. I'm rocking a penis to rub that shit together yeah right just about might make a whole penis yeah it's a nub rub you put that together that's an actual combo into one whole penis 10 out of 10 if she had a micro penis and a bonus hole like what do i yeah can i just fuck her in the ass yeah what do you mean then yeah i'm rubbing i'm rubbing up i've fucked worse yeah 10 out of 10 yeah oh that's an interesting question what's the offset for like a 10 out of 10 tranny to a x out of 10 girl four

what i'd rather fucking 10 out of 10 if i pull up this bitch's instagram you guys don't know so much confidence in the number you guys don't know she has a cock i pulled this girl's instagram you're like oh yeah fucking no you're right we're not saying you're wrong and then i pull up a four you're like oh god i mean no you're right as shit you're right it was're right. And then I pull up a four. You're like, ooh, God. I'm like, no, you're right as shit. You're right. It was just the speed. It was the speed.

I may have thought about it. And the confidence. The speed and confidence was just unparalleled. It may have run through my head before. Okay. Oh, that was good. That was a fan sub from Garrett. Yeah.

He fan subbed himself. Made a burner account, sent it in. Yo. Trying to validate my own feelings. That was fucking good. Okay. Let's see. Next one. Are Crocs better than hay dudes? Yo, trying to validate my own feelings. That was fucking good. Okay. Let's see next one

Our Crocs better than hey dudes does anyone know what hey dudes are I don't but Crocs feel like we're Crocs are superior in I ladies Crocs are superior to all what are hey dudes He looks up our Crocs was it maybe he responded because I asked I was like what the fuck does that he was it a Is that like an autocorrect thing? Healy's maybe oh Healy's no crocs are not better than healy's if that's fuck no crocs You could probably get healy's on him though at this point healy crocs would be he still has my healy's does she have my healy's You have healy's he's got her healy's for me, and she said she got him, and I never she ordered you healy's yeah I haven't asked her Katie shout out. Let me get my Heelys. She got me ones with flames on the side.

I can text her. I don't know. Text her right now. Should I text her right now? Yeah, text her right now. Should I call her? No, don't call her. Wait, let me see if I could get...

Why did she order you Heelys? She used to work for Heelys. Katie Garcia. Yeah, she used to work for Heelys, and I asked her if she still knew anybody there, and she's like, let me text them, and she asked. I vaguely remember this conversation. Oh, here's one that just came up. How did I let this slip out of my mind?

This is important stuff see this is why I know if you have his he leaf yeah His hey dudes his hey dudes oh Man that would be so cool if she has him. I'm excited. It's gonna be a good year he leaves fuck I Would have been wearing the shit out. I probably would have worn them to death at this point. I would get outside more if I had Heelys. I could see myself turning into one of those stupid skater kids with the fucking, like, super wide pants.

Like, dicky wide pants. Yeah. And, like, a beanie. Like, a super late 90s. Like some late 90s shirt. You just convert to late 90s. Yeah, and I'm just Heelying around. You have, like like the rail pads

on them oh I'd get so into it fuck did he say what hey dudes are it's gotta be heelies oh wait hold on hold on if it's heelies

it's heelies if it's heelies it's heelies it's heelies does any of you own Crocs Crocs? Crocs?

No, I've thought about it. I feel like they kind of rip. Yeah, I feel like they're really good. If you just keep them, do like an indoor thing. Yeah. Have you ever tried a pair? Like, they're really comfortable. Yeah, they're comfortable. I mean, I wear Uggs, so.

Yeah, that might be worse, actually. Yeah. I mean, Heelys, Uggs. You wear Uggs with shorts. It's really kind of disgusting. It's a fun play. For who? Me.

They're so comfortable, dude. Sure. In the winter? Repulsive. Ankles hot, knees cold. It is crazy how absent your sense of style is. I literally just told this girl I was on a date with that one of my red flags is

if you want me to go to something nice, you will have to dress me. Yeah. And I will... And now you started talking to this girl because I dressed you. I will probably also fight you on it for some reason, even though it looks good.

Just because I don't like wearing it. Because it objectively won't look good because you're wearing it. Yeah. Yeah. Well, anything new i think looks bad well just anything in a mirror to you looks bad looking at myself exactly yes or anyone else looking at you fuck i can't check this fucking question all right dude we already debated the

whole thing next one okay okay we're running a job dude he's going to contribute healy's i can't think of anything else hey dudes yeah um would you rather take dick for the rest of your life or enjoy the taste of shit and crave it? That's pretty. That's kind of good. I don't know about that. When it's these ones, it's like. I'm trying, dude. We could add this guy.

So like I just can't stop eating shit. You love the taste of shit. You love the taste of shit or take dick. Shit's good. But do I like dick? Would you rather take it or enjoy it? But am I equally as content? Yeah, do I?

I bet after a while you're enjoying it. But to start, you're just... What if I already like it and it's not even that bad? Yeah, to start doing what I'm doing. Because one's a punishment, one seems like I'm stoked. Like, give me some shit. Well, it'd just be a weird thing to have to tell people. Right?

It's like, oh, you just... Hey, are you done with that like every time don't flush it you're just always knocking on the door hey don't flush oh the toilets you just you'd break the toilet my toilets are broken yeah why is there a fucking butterfly net at the bottom of your toilet don't worry about it i just i'm in there brown um so yeah dick for sure I thought you were going to go shit for shot it wouldn't be the worst

thing though want to eat shit just keep it on the low I guess you're right this was 50? this is 50 episode 50? yeah 50 is shit

or half centennial half centennial almost a full year's worth of episodes yeah that was a if you's worth of episodes that was a if you thought that was long that was only a third of Oppenheimer go check that shit out if you were sweating

if you can't sit through that don't go to the fuck and see that don't I wish you all well in your next seven days whatever you get into we'll keep busting these fan subs i'll get the ads in there do do we want their ads if it's yeah they want their ads god you're an ape well like if you're asking if we want the taste of shit like do you want your ad in there you know

well well that's make it let maybe let them know don't send something like that all right that was yeah if someone's asking that question they're probably like us and they don't give a shit look we said a hundred things worse than that on this episode. That's very true. So it was a good episode. That was good. Alright. Later. Gators. Haters.