NO FOMO - 52. Bazzle Dorf and the Slippery Snakes
Episode Date: August 4, 2023🔔 Subscribe & Follow: https://linktr.ee/nofomopod 🎽 Merch: https://www.bonfire.com/store/no-fomo/ Welcome Back Fomosapiens. This week we talk Mormons, Hogwarts, and Aids let&#...39;s get it. Let's Evolve Together, NO FOMO. Support the Podcast: Get 20% OFF @manscaped + Free Shipping with promo code NOFOMO at MANSCAPED.com!
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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back, back, back, back to the Mocs Freakin' FOMO Show.
Now it's FOMO.
Alrighty.
5-2 with the boys.
5-2.
What it do, dude?
The Jackhammers are out today.
Yeah.
They should be fuckin' arrested.
A pre-apology if they fire back up again in the start here.
Did we break down what they were doing?
No.
Did we?
Yeah.
They're breaking down.
They're breaking down the cement. They're breaking down the cement.
They're breaking down the world.
The earth.
They're digging in China, I think.
Come on, Jeebus, say what's actually up, guys?
Are we starting?
I thought you guys were just fucking flapping your fists.
I think we were just starting, right?
Did we just start it?
Bing, bong, bong, bong.
Bing, bong, bong, bong.
Do we want a warm-up song or what?
Yeah, but that one didn't come.
That one didn't.
It's got to come to us
naturally yeah you got to feel it forced energy it's not real energy yeah i didn't like that
i am making it's making me think after we were talking about the other guys digging a hole
and then these guys digging a hole that we should dig a hole if we if you got all your boys together
like 10 boys in a yard some nice like wet earth how deep of a hole
you think you could just if it could that be fun just trying to dig the deepest the biggest hole
we've never been to the beach before okay wow dude way to put it down this is i actually enjoy
this question a lot um how wet is the earth whoa my god how wet it's just a nice like it rained like three days ago it's nice earth yeah
it's not dry 10 men 10 men nice earth and you're in like say you're shaded under a tree you know
and you're just going at it there's no limit you got a 30 rack and your boys what is um 10 guys
only a 30 rack is it per person or is it a race it's just you know we decided we're gonna try and
dig as deep a hole as we can get today.
I don't think there's a limit.
It's until you reach like the next layer of the core.
I actually used to do this a lot.
You run into like some rock and then we get a jackhammer.
We're never stopping.
We're never stopping.
I used to do this as a kid.
My dad worked in like a big open lot and I would just dig holes.
Yeah, you go to the beach where you dig like a big old jacuzzi, you know?
Yeah, but that's just, you're just digging deep enough to bury yourself
Really you know you we'd go pretty deep or when you dig deep enough to get to the water
And then you dig it to the water. Yeah, that's fun. I'd say we'd probably get about I could do that today
25 feet and get well, let's go dig you want to go to
Before I'm like we should stop golf new hobby digging. Mm-hmm. I
Did see this one person was saying...
Wait, have we started their episode?
Yeah, I think we started.
Okay.
That's a great start.
I love that.
This person wrote in on like a thing.
It was like a, hey, should I be worried?
And her husband was just going out and digging a hole for fun.
Oh, he's definitely...
But he was like sneaking away to do it.
Yeah, he's hiding buddies.
And he just had like a big tractor and he's just digging a big hole.
Just in a tractor? Yeah. Did he rent it? No, they like lived in like farm away to do it. Yeah, he's hiding bodies. And he just had like a big tractor and he was just digging a big hole. Just in a tractor?
Yeah.
Did he rent it?
No, they like lived in like farmland kind of area.
He would just go out there and dig.
He's probably making a fucking whatever.
Doomsday bunker.
Or some sort of course.
Doomsday.
Can we get into doomsdaying?
Yeah, I'd love to.
Dude, it's actually a big thing.
Oh, yeah.
It would be fun as shit.
I'll do the plants, the plants the garden and the uh
the aquaponic stuff is there like a netflix show like extreme doomsday there's something
i've seen something doomsday preppers i've seen clips oh it is awesome lit they have these people
on there and they give them a rating so they rate them on like uh how much food and stuff and like
how long they can survive and then they give them like there's a special category because each person has like a special thing like one
person's like oh I built a lake a two million gallon lake in my backyard that
I can siphon water from and stuff or like this guy's like I built a fucking
nuclear protection bunker and I buried my RV in there so that I can live in the
RV underground okay that's pretty cool yeah there people have got it that's
pretty damn but then they also have defense is one of the things. Cause like, if you have this nice thing, like how
well can you defend it? And this one guy has like, he would, he works in the quarries. So he would
like take rocks and he built like a bunch of things that he can pull in like a rock avalanche
will like kill people. This is real. This is fucking smart as shit, dude. Oh yeah. It's the
best. I like this a lot. You know, apparently under the big mormon church over uh there's a bunker in la jolla there's an insane bunker built to hold like
thousands of people yeah with only mormons though yeah no yeah of course they're like legitimately
only for mormons and it has like a full it has like a costco sized like warehouse with food and
shit inside of it like all underneath that that beautiful church really it's like 10 layers deep
10 10 levels fucking
levels underground 10 levels yeah no way i might get killed for saying that but fuck the mormons
dude what the fuck do they do in there how do you even build those things that pointy well that's
just an immaculate oh the top you're talking about the 10 layers i don't know how do you build
something that pointy it's steel with steel uh uh spit and like it's paper mache i think yeah
it's clay yeah yeah you ever thrown a rock at it it goes right there those buildings are kind of
crazy though if i was going to join a religion a cult i would join one that one mormonism just
for that bunker yeah that's a sick cult like if you want to convert me show me something like that
and maybe i'll consider it is that one of the ones you could just get into no uh no mormon's hard more it's
a tough one yeah you can't just say it like there's a multiple choice you can't no i think
you have blood sacrifice there's definitely you have to give them your firstborn you have to
sacrifice something and then you have to give up uh like 25 i'm pretty sure you have to go on a
mission to be like a full-blown mormon have to do that. A two year mission. But you can get into it.
If you want to do that.
You get into any of them.
Do we know how it starts?
What?
Like what?
The first step to get into it?
Yeah.
Do you just go in and be like, your parents are it?
No.
Like if you wanted, like if you didn't have it in the family, you probably just walk in.
I bet you walk in and there's somebody in there who tells you how to do it.
Oh no.
Yeah.
It's, it's easy to get, they'll, they want you. Yeah. They'll, they there who tells you how to do it. Oh, no. Yeah. It's easy to get. They want you.
Yeah, yeah.
They come to your house to get you.
Yeah.
They walk around and try to get you in.
It's not hard to join.
That's crazy that they fucking send people out like that.
Yeah.
Like, for like two years of their lives.
Oh, you have to go recruit for two years?
Yeah, that's the mission.
The mission is two years long.
Oh, your mission is to get more missioners.
You have to work for two years. The mission is two years long. It's basically like the military. You have to pay your for two years yeah that's the mission is two years long your mission is to get more mission work for two missions it's basically like a military you have to pay your own way
there you have to do a tour you're not allowed to talk to your family more than one time a year you
get one phone call if they're non-mormon bullshit swear to god yeah really no even if they are
mormon you get one phone call a year oh when you're on the mission yeah not for life no no not
okay i was like what the fuck now i'm
back out or maybe i'm more in just 12 hours a day that's kind of legendary 12 hours a day you're
just knocking doors trying to convert people into being in your cult is there like a do you have to
convert any amount to like or could i just do it for two years like i don't think there's like a
metric but i'm sure like if you weren't doing well they'd probably be up your how many do they convert all of them like what is the best one do like they get like 10 um well we know someone who
did 80 80 yeah 80 converts door-to-door years yeah door-to-door yeah in texas what's their
spiel in tech or in texas or new mexico where they're like super have you heard about the lord
jesus christ no i don't think they're jesus are they no heard about the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ? No, I don't think they're Jesus. Are they? No, it's the church of Latter-day Saints. Oh,
that's Latter-day Saints. I mean, they believe in Jesus, but it's a different, it's a different
thing. What's his name? John Smith. John Smith. John Smith. Yeah. That's a made up name. You
don't know the Mormon thing. John Smith is a guy. So he had, he found this like hat,
this magic hat that had a decipherable crystal in the top that made it so that he could read tablets written by God in some undecipherable thing.
So then he deciphers them and makes them into the Book of Mormon.
But then this is a cool part about Mormonism.
He lost the papers and they were like, hey, can you do it again?
the papers and they were like hey can you do it again and he's like yeah sure but it's not going to be the same as the first time because it was obviously made up yeah so he's like so
he does it again and it's a little different it's like one of the most falsely grounded
religions there possibly could be but they get multiple wives yeah yeah no there's so many pros
yeah so that's an easy i mean if you're gonna make something up make it good yeah daniel touched it a hilarious joke he's like if my dad
was old enough to be like yeah that didn't fucking happen like it was only that long ago he's like i
don't fuck with it the guy's name is john fucker smith yeah john jesus christ yeah it's a it's a
wild you got when did it get started it was like it was in like the 1900s yeah it was in the 19
fucker hundreds it might have been eight like late 1800s this guy was in the u. get started it was like it was in like the 1900s yeah it was in the 19 fucker hundreds it might have been a like late 1800s it's in the u.s when it was it's some yeah it's the most recent
religion like that exists except for the scientology one yeah he had a crystal hat yeah he
has a hat and he was the only one who was allowed to have it or who could like see it knew it existed
no one even no one even like could see it like no one no one ever saw the actual thing that he
deciphered it with yeah so because the beginning story of it is so great because he only convinces one guy to believe him
in the start so this guy is like the guy who's like writing it down for him or something and
he's telling him what to write down the disciple because i think this guy was illiterate or something
he was probably a great salesman but he convinces this one guy and the in the story like the guy
goes back to his wife and is like telling him about it and the wife is like ah that sounds pretty fucking stupid he's like shut up bitch and he's like no
he's got a crystal in his hand i'm getting another wife he's got a crystal in his hand he's got
tablets from god that he can decipher if you don't believe me i'm gonna find another wife who believes
me and then and then he just came no i mean think until he had imagine coming back to him be like
hey my wife thinks it's kind of stupid he He's like, dude, this lets you have multiple wives.
Fuck her.
Fuck her.
He's like, Oh, okay.
Who cares?
She's an idiot.
That's a, that's super easy.
So you guys, the book of Mormon is the best, like most entertaining.
It's a play, but it is like TV, movie, anything.
The most hilarious thing I've ever seen in my life.
Oh dude, the South park episodes on that stuff.
Well, the guys who wrote the guys who created South park wrote this play.
Oh, they wrote the play.
Yeah.
It's like the most successful play on Broadway ever ever it's the funniest unbelievable it's the funniest
thing i've ever seen it's like four hours long it's the it's you're just pissing yourself because
they're just shitting on the mormon religion the whole time yeah you're like how do they get away
with this because when you break it down the way that they do it's fucking hilarious you're like
wait and it's like everything they say is actually true but they just spin it in like the obviously
like hilarious take of what the truth is the vision of 20 there's just a hilarious like it's
just from an outside perspective it's a hilariously joke of a religion yeah shout out our mormons
anyway it's gonna be at least one right next topic well wait on the religion thing i was thinking
about i think i brought this up with morg if the sorry if we have any mormons if aliens are real
wait i think there's an alien twist somewhere
involved that's science scientology is it okay yeah scientology is the aliens died in the volcano
that's right and then their spirits come out and yep whatever there it is um but if aliens do be
are proven to be real is religion just over yeah no we looked this up remember there's they're
demons oh yeah they're angels and demons.
That's what they say.
Right.
They have something for everything.
That's like when I looked up dinosaurs.
And I bet the verse is like not even close to saying that, but it's interpreted like that.
No, no, no.
Yeah.
All the verses that they used as like.
But if they're like a completely different thing from a different planet, I think the whole thing like falls apart.
Well, that's because the definition of angels and demons are not of this earth.
Yeah, but that's not what they fucking mean.
Technically, the definition of alien is not of this earth.
But that's not what they meant.
It all depends on what they have to say about it.
Yeah.
If they show up and they're like...
Well, it's like the dinosaur one.
When I was talking about this with Morg's mom,
I was like, how do they explain dinosaurs?
And the way they explain dinosaurs is
even though
god said he made it in seven days right he made the world seven days to god could have been
seven billion years his time is his god time is whatever god time is she knows her shit which
makes it way less fucking impressive if he did over seven billion billion years. Yeah. It took God 7 billion years.
He fucking spent 20 years on the platypus.
That's valid, though.
Those things are sick.
He's like, fuck.
That thing took some iterations.
Yeah, he had to run through some different fucking clay animations.
Half beaver, half duck, and it's venomous.
Is it venomous?
Yeah.
Yeah, they have a venomous fucking big stinger on their wrist like Spider-Man.
Really?
Yeah.
No, I think they're like saliva if they clip you with their beak. No, they have a stinger, like stinger on their like wrist like spider-man really Yeah, I think they're like saliva if they like clip you with their beak
No, they have a stinger like a stingray shut the fuck. Yeah, like the thorns guy from x-men. Mm-hmm. Yeah, he's
Always been a fan of the platypus myself. Mm-hmm. Oh, it's top five. Yeah, it's a good one. It's not five and it's not
Anywho
Yeah, so what else we got?
anywho yeah so what else we got a little recap of last weekend had oh yeah had a grandiose time we played at academy fucking burned it to the fucking floor right yeah you loved it the floor
was on fire dude yeah that brought the fucking top down that was a good one that was top down
floor fire so thanks to anyone who made it out to that i don't think any of our fans were there i
didn't see anybody well we have there's... There's got to be some crossover.
There's some crossover.
But yeah, that was a film.
Yeah.
Do you think there are any cross...
I feel like it's one or the other.
You don't like both?
No, we...
There's definitely...
Well, our initial group of fans
would have only known us for the music, so...
Which was few.
They probably stopped listening years ago.
When we start off with the mormons you know
we were well behaved we were well behaved were we though at what point during the set
yeah during the set after that the gloves came off oh i was gonna say during the set is there
any way in future sets we can make it so there aren't 22 photographers between you guys and the
people behind you that's just what happens when you're a hot shot dude yeah because it's kind of it's kind of like you don't you're not even watching
the show they're like blocking your view i do remember turning around and there were six people
with cameras standing behind yeah it's like i can't see you or the crowd yeah from back there
well it's just so fucking important there's just nothing we could do about it oh that's true we
just need to cut the content more with church stuff it didn't happen if we don't get content
yeah go in the crowd maybe rip on some on some baddies they were sweaty out there it's kind of gross i
bet they were they were going to eat shit that was probably the most fun show we've ever played
yeah the boys were going ballistic electric hey for once jay you know it was sold it was sold out
that's number one so john needs to always say that because he's he's been coming to our shows
since day one and let me tell you they were not sold out for a very long time.
We would show up to the club and we're the first people there.
When we start playing, he's like, damn, sold out another one.
That show, when we got on stage, that bitch was sold out.
That was sold out.
The only reason I made the joke about it not being sold out when it wasn't is because when I'm getting recruited to go to these, you guys are like, hey, it's sold out, dude.
You got to come. Well, sometimes it would be, hey, it's sold out, dude. You got to come.
Well, sometimes it would be, but like,
it would be, but like the crowd wouldn't get there
until our set was over.
You know, we were selling out.
Yeah.
For the early set.
Yeah.
For sure.
But yeah, that was fun as fuck.
Any other highlights from the weekend week?
I'm back on my Huberman routine.
Nope.
You got one day in the Huberman and you're back.
I've done two full days, last Thursday and then this Thursday.
Okay.
So Thursdays are Huberman days.
Thursdays are Huberman days. I like like that we could roll with that it's better than
no huberman days no it is no it is though you can't say it's not statistically it's better
i show up on podcast day look at how clear he is today dude i show up on look at how clear he is
yeah don't it's don't fucking mock that your skin did you mean clear skin i didn't mean clear skin? No, I didn't mean clear skin.
Clear skin, clear headed, transparent.
All right, ladies and gents,
we're going to take a quick break from the show.
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free shipping boom oh shit boom motherfucker boom get fucked now back to the show all right let's
see what the fuck holes have all right this one's from toenail at toenail in the discord i'm getting married next saturday what are the drug
use rules for the day the day like leading up like the day of oh okay for your own wedding
for your own wedding that's kind of a good question that's a great question that's really
that's a great question you're definitely because we just we just we just did a big drug wedding
last year yeah but that's different for him no that's what i'm saying yeah
so for for the groom nothing nothing until after the dinner i would say you're allowed to have
one bump pre-wedding no get you back in no no think about because you're gonna be pretty drunk
i'm gonna be drunk well like getting ready for shit you have a couple you have like two to three
beers before the wedding. That's it.
No.
Okay.
Well,
if you fuck that up a bump,
you want to be fucking,
can we write this down?
Clip this.
You want to be sweating?
You're sweating.
If he's three beers in that,
I want to be sweating.
I think an Adderall is more,
is more on point.
You want to be sweating and fucking shaking while you're reading your vows.
One bump, one bump one bump
then you know you don't understand what that means and guess what you're thinking the entire ceremony
i need another bump well hopefully you're a little locked in on your wedding but yeah you think you're
nervous reading your vows no you're just gonna be sweating and shaky because you just did cocaine
off one bump this guy one bump this guy one bump dude just to lock you back let's bring you back
to neutral you're telling me you're not going to do a little bump ski? Not before the ceremony.
Okay, well, use his advice if you want.
I just officiated a wedding and I didn't do a bump before.
Hey, he's allowed to have two different sets of advice, this guy.
Choose who you want to listen to, this guy or the guys.
Do you have to shit or something?
I think you should get pretty drunk before.
And then write...
No, a solid advice.
Like when you're about to walk down the aisle, everyone's getting set up.
Rip one.
Make, have your groomsmen.
This is why you got to have a best man.
Yes.
Check that shit for you.
Make sure you're clean.
And then.
Wouldn't that be a photo?
Fucking like fixing your bow tie and then like looking up your nose.
I think six out of 10 drunk before the ceremony.
Sounds right.
I also don't think I'm'm gonna read vows at mine
oh that you're you're not having a wedding so that's not really that's yeah so it's tough i
guess it's tough for me but i think i would do like maybe like a smaller set of vows for the
wedding but i'm not gonna read like the whole actual ones there that's like the only thing
that happens during a wedding no there's a bunch of other bullshit if it's not like a religious
what the fuck was that six hours we just sat through if the only thing was the vows it was like 25 minutes
the whole wedding the ceremony the ceremony yeah but that part sucks it's the worst part
of any wedding yeah but the only thing it's you read the vows that's what you do there's
plenty of people who don't read vows i don't think that's true at all yes it is what what what they don't read vows at the wedding they read them to each other and then they don't read vows. I don't think that's true at all. Yes, it is. What? They don't read
vows at the wedding. They read them to each other and then they don't read it in front of people.
Who's your stat book? Have you ever been to a wedding? Look that, that is, yeah, I've been to
plenty of weddings and I know for a fact that some of them, they didn't read vows. That is a normal
thing. You guys are in, in your own world. How many weddings you've been to? Less than 10.
you guys are in in your own world how many weddings you've been to less than 10 what does it matter because i guarantee you're bringing up a statistic here if anything there was maybe one
you went to where they didn't read vows and even that doesn't sound right okay but that this is a
thing that people do plenty of people do not read them you're just saying things no i'm not you guys
just don't know something and then you're thinking i'm just saying i've been to a lot of weddings and they always read about how many weddings have you been to a lot how many probably like 20 25 25 there we go
i've been to two that's all of them we got them all done but i would say after the ceremony
it's a molly night i feel like little molly little shrooms lots of cocaine well you have
to remember for after the ceremony there's so many things that they have to do so well yeah i'm saying okay so i think
after you have to get through the dinner yeah it's after dinner after the dinner when the party
starts because you can't be rolling face when your dad's like reading his speech well and you're
trying to eat food and not look like a fucking tweaker true it's probably you're sitting in
front of everyone the more i think about it now it's probably not a drug one for the groom and the bride ah fuck it i don't know i'm back and forth
on it every time depends on who's there if it's a really family oriented thing you probably don't
want me ma seeing you fucking chewing your lip off i think you just wait till after the dinner
me ma dips in dude if you can get me money Meemaw in on it, then yeah, rip it. After the dinner, when the dance floor is ripping, you go off.
Whatever you want.
Yeah, I think the dance floor is where it's got to happen, I think.
I'm with that.
Time it with that.
Yeah.
You're so wishy-washy.
Your advice is invalid here.
Yes, you guys turned on each other.
This is a classic.
You're just making shit up over there.
You just didn't make something up. I did not. Just do well. you don't need to read vows who reads vows i'm not going to do it that's between
me and my wife uh you know the purpose of a wedding it's like a public declaration of your
marriage that's why there's people there yeah so you're supposed to like read that out loud
yeah otherwise why is anyone even fucking there yeah we get're supposed to like read that out loud yeah otherwise why is
anyone even fucking there yeah we get it you guys love each other we could have just said it's a
public declaration of the marriage it's not a public declaration of me saying i love you
yeah it is no it isn't that's why i'm getting married to you goodness two retards arguing
about wedding etiquette this is good this is why you're not having one all right we're gonna we're
gonna get past this all right i'm right about this oh you're right you're right why you're not having one. All right. We're going to get past this.
I'm right about this.
Oh, you're right.
You're right.
Yeah, you're right.
Worst scenario to be in a K-hole?
A wedding.
Is it right now?
A wedding.
Hmm.
I mean, unlimited.
The womb?
Yeah.
Any scenario besides when you're meaning to.
Yeah.
Yeah, accidentally at any point. Any scenario besides after-party or like a concert sounds like hell a school bus ooh
Yeah, a plane a flight a plane yeah
No, you could just kind of be good and it is boarding. It's kind of vibe out
Yeah, you just nuke out and then you fucking land no it's deboarding
Playing in this deboarding when you have to do a task yeah yeah that's what i'm saying yeah if there's any possible time you have to do
something that you don't want to do hey jay you're up it's your turn yeah when you have to stand at
all you have to stand or talk to anyone that doesn't know what's going on that would be
fucking hell oh being in jail yeah that could be dope too though well that means you probably got
it in jail so no i'm like imagine like imagine you like did some and then you got caught like right away
and then you're like holy fuck that would be tough you're getting like arrested oh going through like
processing you're getting like arrested i was thinking in the cell that could be fine no like
you're like getting arrested some cell okay yeah getting arrested like them trying to slap the
cuffs on you and you're just yeah yeah that would be aggressive k-holes are tough there's trying to play there's only there's only a few places
where it is good yeah there's only yeah there's a very select few places where it is acceptable
it's like just a couch with a bunch of other people who also just did yep yeah it's very
selective yeah if you oh being being with like you're the only one on it and everyone else is
like blown out and they're all trying to talk to you that would be pretty shit yeah or yeah doing it by yourself
with people who aren't doing it that would be rough or parenting oh my god teacher conference
yeah a parent teacher conference there's almost infinite scenarios where it would be dreadful
driving i mean yeah i would probably pull over yeah that would be that would be
near impossible you would think you pulled over that's true oh yeah that would be that would be
sketch parking ubers are parallel parking on a k-hole that's got to be the most difficult
ubers are rough on a k in a k-hole are they from experience it's like a moving couch no no but
they're trying to talk to you and you're just like sitting there like looking like a retard and if you have to be sitting up like you don't get to be like kind of just like you got
your feet all up in the back of an uber no you need to touch down in there you don't think if
it was three in the back it's rough yeah imagine you're crammed in middle seat front seat of an
uber oh an uber pool you're with like four strangers in it that is that is the worst
that might take the cake.
I think that's it.
Yeah.
Yeah, there's plenty.
Plenty.
You name it.
Doing anything.
You could even name something that's good.
A good time to be in a K-hole and I could make it bad.
Yeah.
It can go south a lot of ways.
It can go south when it's going good.
Yep.
This one would be fun.
Who was that one from?
This one was from cia agent bro
cia agent bro yeah okay well thank you should have read that before we started yeah maybe the
tag comes first yeah we've never done k uh i don't have the tag for this one but it's that
was all hypothetical right uh jesus christ i feel like jay will have some good answers to this
favorite white lie oh favorite white lie i'm almost there
i just left yeah or what what did you do this weekend and then just saying like oh just kind
of chilled oh yeah just hung out yeah favorite white be there in ten How many girls have you slept with that's is that a white line
To me it's a white
Don't know if that's a little white me there's plenty of white lies all of yours are white. Yeah, they're all white guys
Yeah, it's just a little one. Yeah, a little baby one
The real question is how many white lies can you do before how many lies is it sounds like a full?
It just becomes lying
Two and a half. That's it
You only give me two and a half like what's a half 17?
17 17 five seems fine to the same person yeah, highly of what is what is like a white like what's the white lie?
Scale yeah, yeah, what's the etiquette? Where do you draw the line? I think a white lie is something like,
it's something harmless.
It's,
it's something harmless or maybe it's not to that person.
It would set them off,
but you know,
it's not like,
it's not that big of a deal.
It's like,
what did you guys do after the bar?
And you know,
they went to like someone else's house and then that she doesn't like.
And then to somewhere like home, it's like something that we came straight home from. You really don't want to and then that she doesn't like. And then to somewhere like home.
It's like something that we came straight home from.
You really don't want to tell them.
It doesn't affect.
I had three drinks.
It doesn't affect the grand scheme of things,
but they're just better off not knowing the truth.
Well,
it's the real,
okay.
If we're being honest here,
the more I think about it,
a white lie is just a lie.
You've decided is it for their benefit?
Yeah.
Yeah.
How many for the other person's benefit? Yeah. You've decided in your own mind that it's for their benefit. yeah how many for the other person's benefit yeah you've
decided in your own mind that it's for their benefit it's on a need-to-know basis the information
yeah and they don't need to know yeah how many white what's the opposite of a white lie just a
fucking bold face lie bold face an absolute black hole lie how many white lies equal a bold lie
17 okay so yeah if there was like a they someone asked you what you did that
night and then you have to string together like four white lies i think that culminates into one
lie oh yeah like how many in a row yeah yeah it's about the same thing what'd you do after that you
lied about where you went like oh i went to morgan's you went to like some after party you
went like oh what'd you do after that oh i went to another thing oh i went to jack in the box
okay what were you guys doing there oh Oh, we were just hanging out.
You were ripping lines and fucking drinking.
Yeah, four you're a liar.
I think four you're just, the whole thing's a lie.
Well, that's why you have to lie better.
When someone asks you something, you don't give them a little piece.
You blanket lie.
Yeah, you live in the gray area.
You gotta blanket out the whole.
I think I pass out like 10.
It's always I think.
Yeah.
Gray area.
Yeah, it's a gray area.
I thought I did.
Yeah.
It's a gray lie. Until you show me proof otherwise. Then I'll remember better. Yeah. Gray area. Yeah, it's a gray area. I thought I did. Yeah. It's a gray lie.
Until you show me proof otherwise.
Then I'll remember better.
Yeah.
Yeah, I just misspoke.
That's a lie.
Oh, you have my location showing up?
Oh, yeah, we did go there.
That's right.
I knew you got this.
Is it a white lie if you actually don't remember it?
No, but if you don't remember it and you say something else that you don't remember it you were black you say something else
that is a lie then it you it's still a lie but like if it like it didn't like you didn't realize
you went somewhere in between but you you know it's only a lie if you know it you but through
you not knowing if you made something else up to cover up what you don't know happened that's a lie
true yeah yeah i think that made sense i said it right yeah is that vernacular
sounded right so do you guys sounded grammatically correct that felt right
what was the question again um favorite white lie oh favorite
who's that one from this isn't like fucking lie test oh three or something
morg's ex john's ex yeah seriously uh we got a bunch from you soggy
soggy that was you soggy i think so he's still not writing him down doesn't know i just deleted
it because we we did it oh so you're writing them down not saying i'm deleting them now
no i said you saw me before i
thought all right who's this one from this one's from you are soggy
craziest thing you've ever done to get a date to get a date
if i was every white girl on hinge right now i'd say like downloading this app
yeah right oh my god that's
literally on their profile download um craziest thing i've done to get a date talk to a girl
yeah walk up to a girl in public to get a date like are they saying like like the craziest things
that's ever led up to you getting a date okay like the craziest circumstance of like like a meeting where
then i ended up going on a date with that person yeah uh i had one they had a boyfriend when you
met oh yeah i was that's become best me and their boyfriend me and their boy had a shot right before
um there was one i was on a layover flight from uh canada there was a storm and we were laid over in
the airport for like six hours waiting for a flight and i was just like next to this person
and we ended up going on a date when we got back really yeah so you do have airport game
it took six hours layover games different layover games different because we were just we were
waiting in an area you have common ground yeah we could be like oh this fucking sucks yeah yeah you have you have
fucking southwest all right i'm never flying air canada again
fucking bullshit do we get any more updates should we go grab a cocktail
you want can you hold you want me to hold your spot you come right back
i'm gonna watch your stuff super quiet i shouldn't even hear you let me watch your your i'll watch your back i'll watch your back you don't have to move spots
craziest thing though we could lean up against each other's backs and maybe fall asleep for a
little bit considering i've been on like four dates i can't say i have anything super crazy
yeah you guys have got like 10 dates max between the two of you yeah sorry we're a little more
selective it's not selective it's just know, you're not shooting shots.
Yeah, it's called select being selective.
It's called focus and determination.
Yeah.
You're not getting it.
It's done.
You're not getting it.
All right.
Let's see.
There's got to, I mean, yeah.
I'm trying to think if, I mean, if sending half the messages I sent on Hinge counts.
Yeah, you're just, entire game is crazy.
All right, this one is again from you, Sog is from you soggy yes uh what skill sets would kill the vibe between you and a new chick such as she's handier
and home repairs better at backing up a trailer that's a fucking good one yeah i don't even know
if i know how to back up a trip yeah that you got me They had some good examples grilling and golfing. Oh, I think this is one for you. You should know golfing. I think is cool
But anything too mainly I'd be like fuck. I think I'd feel very insecure. I think it comes down to how
How they're better than me at it like if they if it was backing up a trailer and she grew up on a ranch
Right or something like that
I'd be like okay. No who's letting her drive that fucking trailer?
She worked her dad. She works on the ranch with her dad's parking that okay?
I'm looking at a hypothetical here. Just play along. Can you play along for a second here?
But if we both just tried to do it and it was our first time and she was just better
Yes, okay, that would that would suck. Yeah, that yeah that's a better they didn't have some sort of formal training yeah like if we
both just went bowling for the first time and she just bowled like a 200 i'd be like i think like a
weird skill like that like golfing or bowling i'd be cool with but like something like just like
yeah parallel parking or something being handy would be rough like if she was like oh she's like
if she was like oh she's like if
she was like no give me the phillips you move into you move into a new apartment she mounts
the tv for you okay that would be fucked up yeah i would actually i'd be stoked but i'd be i'd be a
little i'd be a little chapped like they're just buying shit at target and putting it up and doing
it themselves building it all oh i just got this new thing from ikea don't worry i'm gonna put it
together that's doable imagine like your check engine lights on and she goes and just fixes your car
that yeah i would have some questions about that it would it would matter more if it ever came up
if she changed your oil for you by herself yeah she's like no i'll change it i don't i don't go
to that's oil changes are a ripoff i'll do one. She's like under the car on one of those little dollies.
Yeah.
It depends on how it comes up though.
Like if it's just between us and like she changes the oil at the house and,
but then if she doesn't like,
if we're with a group of people and she's like,
I have to fucking change the oil.
Oh,
that I'd be like,
yo,
shut the fuck up.
If it became a point of like roasting,
I'd be pretty upset.
Like if she,
I, I'd be willing to say anything if it was like that, I would learn how to do it better.
Yeah.
But like, for instance, if a girl, like if you're trying to change a tire and she had to do it for you, I would have to just get out.
I would, I feel like I'm done.
Well, yeah.
Well, I mean, that's a thing.
There's some things that if you don't know how to do as a human being then yeah yeah that'd be terrible but if it was like a skill or if she was just like
like yeah if she could like fix the fridge or something or like you guys you guys have like a
you know a gathering in your barbecuing and she's like now and she's like you can do the hot dogs i
got she's like he's trash i'm i'm grilling a video game if she's better you can do the hot dogs. I got all the she's like he's trash. I'm grilling a video game
If she's better than you had a video game. I think that would be kind of cool though
It would be cool if she was good at it not better
Think of how many hours that would have to be what like I don't know
Like that's a lot. I don't know
Like but if you're say if we were sitting and she was right here
And we were talking about video games then she was like
oh I fucking wreck you
and cod you suck
and just one of you
wants me and yeah
and just fucking
you get no
360 no scopes you
yeah I think that'd be
pretty badass honestly
not not
if anyone was around
we were sitting here
watching it just
roasting the shit
I wouldn't want
spectators
no one said that
well that's what I'm
saying if it was
in if people knew
okay yeah
if people know
almost anything
yeah yeah
if it was just between
us and like she she could fix the shit around the house i'd be like fuck yeah cool yeah that's lit
how hard would you have to train if your girlfriend was beating you in call duty dude
you just break up you have to or you just never play video games ever again yeah yeah that's an
easy out yeah that's a good question throw Throw the Xbox out the fucking. Male masculinity right there is at an all time low.
For that whole conversation.
Couldn't let it happen.
Never.
Yeah.
We're just insecure little bitches.
The entirety of that segment.
Dump him.
Date a dude.
Turns out he's better at everything, but you allow it.
Yeah.
He's bigger and stronger than me.
Yeah.
Fine.
Another one from Usagi.
Would you rather every text you ever sent goes public or your porn history?
Text.
I think the...
Fuck me.
Oh, that's a good one.
Is it just me that it goes public for or like everyone gets a picket?
Because if my porn... Everyone can see it, public information. I think the porn Is it just me That it goes Public for Or like everyone Gets a picket Cause if
If my porn
Everyone can see
It public information
If my
If my porn history
Is up there
With everyone else's
Porn history
I don't think
It's that bad
No it's not shocking
But my text messages
Up against everyone else's
Text messages
Would be probably bad
I think the porn thing
It would just be like
Yeah get over it
But if it was just me
Like no one else
Yeah but I would just be like
You know you're all
Doing the same shit
Well see I have some
Dodgy searches From the podcast So Oh that's what you're calling it yeah pre-release
you can justify that but that'd be hard if it was just on a leaderboard and it was all under the
text alone just to like you guys would be criminal oh fuck yeah yeah and not even like sappy text to
a girl like just the text between us later see ya
yeah because i could on the porn i could i could cover up a lot of those with it's justifiable
like oh i was just researching i was just looking it just popped up or just like look i know you're
all doing the same shit but the text messages between friends and stuff is bad yeah that would
fuck a lot of shit up oh yeah well not i wasn't even thinking about done for i wasn't even thinking
i was thinking about like horrendous stuff i've said I didn't even think about like that. That's just roasting people. Yeah. Yeah
Yeah, and then you like have to see that person
I saw this right on all the leader that'd be insane. I saw that entire thread you had with this would be
Our only friends. Yeah, no throw stepsister seduces on there
Yeah, porn porn throughout my porn history way to throw something normal in there is like that's the worst thing you got because you know there's every once in a while there's like the
one oh did you see the girl get fucked by a horse or something you gotta look it up i'm just like
is it really true i'm with him on this i mean i'd get it you ever seen the german shepherd
ah was that like a sixth grade thing yeah it was pretty early on i don't think i saw that
i was pretty fucked up if I remember correctly. It was.
Yeah.
Yeah. Dude, that's one of those things.
Remember how we just used to like watch videos of people getting like beheaded and shit when
we were kids?
Dude, I love that shit.
What was that fucking website called?
It was so gnarly.
There was.
That's just Twitter.
No, I mean like back in like middle school, you had to like find it.
There was like a website that you could get like.
It was.
Oh, the beheadings?
Yeah, there was like all kinds of crazy shit, dude.
Was it like E-bombs World?
One of those weird.
It was some fucking.
That sounds right.
Like 4chan, those sites were all gnarly.
Yeah.
And that was just part of, that was like sixth grade.
I remember like we'd get home from school and like parents weren't home yet.
And we'd like go on those websites and just be like, we're just going to keep scrolling
until we like can't look at it.
Or especially when we actually got like cell phones in high school.
Like they could watch a video.
Yeah.
And you'd just be like, someone would just be like, look at this.
And it's like, look at this thing. Literally like like yeah you're like yo okay yeah fuck that shit's
fucking crazy yeah fuck that you saw it gets worse now or they don't have it no i've seen it recently
probably worse no for kids i mean fuck yeah yeah you can find it on twitter now like you're telling
me there isn't some sick kid in the third grade typing in fucking... I don't know. There's way more...
Guy wears a horse head.
There's way more on the internet.
That's true.
There's way more on the internet.
I mean, I see it on some of that stuff on TikTok.
Like, every once in a while on TikTok, a thing will pop up of just like a chopper gunner
like mowing people down.
Yeah, there's some gnarly shit just on like standard social media.
You don't even have to search for it.
I'll see it on Twitter.
Yeah, Twitter rips.
I don't have Twitter.
Or X.
X, yeah.
X.
Should I get it now that it's X? It's cooler now that it's x is it cooler yeah that's cooler about it it's just it
has an x on it yeah that is cooler but they're still called tweets no i think they are they're
you retweet x's they're called x's and re-x really rex's no i actually don't know i don't know no
they're tweets still are they it's still called twitter isn't it no no it's called x shut the fuck up it literally is he just changed the
name of like the most popular social media spacex xx xxx tentacion xxx xx dot xx v
videos oh v yeah dot v makes sense all right what else is splooge master cream button or whatever
his name is soggy on the leaderboards soggy how unstoppable would you be if hangovers weren't a
thing oh it's unbelievable i don't think i would ever stop drinking yeah that's a good take i would
be more of an alcoholic yeah if i wasn't gonna get hungover because that's a good take I would be more of an alcoholic. Yeah, if I wasn't gonna get hungover
Cuz that's the only reason you ever stop
Yeah, cuz I do most things better. I would just uber everywhere and I'd just be drunk all of them
Yeah, take away driving and I'm fine
Yeah, fuck maybe we'd be unstoppable
We would be a thousand years ahead of wherever we are right now technology wise like if the entire
world was just operating oh if everyone was unstoppable yeah college 4.0 no they'd still
be fat valedictorian no you just do drink vodka oh fair you gotta drink slug beers and smoke
cigarettes that's that would be dangerous that would it would be incredible though isn't that you imagine that you could
just not do that it's not like this is some abstract concept you could just not drink and
that would actually be your life but i like the reset dude you need a little reset you like the
reset you need a hard reset's the worst part i think all day bro yeah i'm hung over his shut
down well i'm hung over i'm just oh i thought you meant the reset was like the hangover like day that is the reset that's the reset oh i thought you were he was
saying were you not thinking he was saying that no i know he's talking about his hungover days
yeah you like that he likes just dude i work a fucking 12 hours but you could just do that not
hung over no i need to turn off my brain it needs to be in like i'm about a low power mode
it needs to get obliterated the night before it needs to be in like i'm about a low power mode it needs to get obliterated the
night before it needs to be functioning which also when we went to the after party on saturday
you were lights out after party that blind tiger you know i was i was i was left right when we got
there yeah yeah i was completely sober i'm not completely sober but i was no you were not okay maybe not no you know you were not maybe not no but i was i wasn't that fucked up yeah okay dude i sweated out
also that kid gave me a bump of k and i just didn't know how to i couldn't function in that
hot fucking desert yeah i got room i got absolutely rock in there dude fuck that place dude i love
that place i love that place but dude you should have seen when we left it was scary in there what was it like six like three four no we left at three okay 435
that place is incredible it was scary it got scary there wasn't any girls left there
there was like eight guys there was eight people there was like eight to ten people. Oh, you were one of them. I was the ninth.
We've done that many times.
Yeah.
It got really, it got dark.
What are you doing at that point?
Well, they, it, I felt like it was, there was like a-
Looking for the girls.
Max exodus at one point.
Like all of a sudden I turned around and everyone was gone.
And then you stayed for like another hour.
We wrote it out to see if any girls would trickle in.
They didn't surprise
surprise all right let's see all-time superpower no hangovers though that'd be oh yeah yeah
do we already do this one you're an inch in your mom and your dad is an inch in you which way are
you going to get out we haven't done that one but I've heard that question before and it's a toughie. Is there any
way out? What do you mean?
You pulling out or pushing back?
Are you pulling out?
Are you shoving your dad's dick more in your ass
to get out of your mom or are you shoving your dick more
in your mom to get your dad's dick out of your ass?
I think I gotta go backwards.
Daddy's dick? I can't go into my mom.
Reach in and pull them both.
Bear hug them both and spin.
Oh, my God.
And 360 out.
Start a doggy pile on the ground.
Oh, God.
Sickening.
Tap in your brother behind your dad.
Jesus.
Call my boys and add to the fun.
Jesus.
Strap a belter on the three of us.
I think from seeing, I've seen my dad's dick i could back up
and it's not that much more it's not gonna be too much yeah me and my dad have the same dick
but i wouldn't want my dick in my ass you would if you were gonna get a dick in your ass you're
telling me you wouldn't want it to be your dick i have a huge dick you know i think your own dick
is the only only appropriate one and a half i don't yeah
i don't think i could push up on my mom like that dude yeah that's that's too much well i could just
you could say it's not even your fault your dad pushed into you so i push harder but that's a
white lie see that's that's a definition of a white lie um yeah we're pushing we're back that's an old uh
rock in a hard place huh quite literally yeah rock in a soft place uh and that's i think that's
like a uh a is true is true is false and false is false yeah yeah if x then y those would be
dreadful yeah i'm backing down daddy's dick that chart right there that's that's
the only answer i could yeah fathom you got to back up yeah yeah it sounds good to see the only
time you get to back up and win yeah real question is how'd you get there yeah i'd like to know what
events led to that what else you got is that was that splurgy cream boy um i don't have the names
for some of these or whatever his name was
If you had to rename the Hogwarts houses, what would you call them? Ooh?
Okay
Basildorf is one
Boomerang
call one of them
Boomerang boomerang call one of them boomerang the boom the boomerangs slidey snake slidey crib slippery
slippery the slip the slithery little snakey snake slippy slippers the slithery little
snakey snake bad icky house slippy slip ravenclaw is like pigeon toe pigeon toe
beak yeah yeah that's beak hufflepuffuffs lizzo's crib fish beak fish beak opposite that
also sounds like like one of the that could i think that's one of the off-brand ones at like
a different school you have fish beaks buck beak yeah buck beak fish horn no buck beak
haggard's big griffin thing yeah is that buck beak it's buck beak. Don't get too close though. Dude. You know what do you you don't know shit?
about Potter
Low
Do we go on the tree hog words? I'm not a wizard Hogwarts
chlamydia
Dog farts for that one genital herpes
Herp herp herp skirt. We try to preserve her ports. No, it's too close thick hog thick bumpy hog
pig
John's dick
Pig dog for Hogwarts pig dog. Yeah, why dog it's good
Are we missing one?
Huffle I did have a puff. I said it's lizzo lizzo oh the lizzo i like that
a lot so what it was dog dog farts no that was that's the whole school name oh dog farts john's
cock the slippery little snaky snakes john's cock slippery the slippy slides slippy slides
slippy it's never the same for that one yeah it's some combination it changes every time yeah that's the magic in it yeah the slip and slides was the dog horns you know what was the first one you said that we
just accepted for gryffindors like bazalvodorf oh bazaldorf bazaldorf yes and then the gardening
house they grow boomerang i thought yes okay let's just add more we need another house what would our house be to split it five ways
grumbleford oh um bubble guts no bubble guts that's a good house what's the fucking
grundle oh grundle the grundles the grundles grundles grundle wall grundle slurp the
under growled the under grundle grundle slurper grundundles the underwalls yes yes okay underwalls
this is nonsense dog the slip sloppy slippy slides yeah yeah this is good i feel like this
is good we got it we had it we had it fucking nailed it you're welcome yeah whoever that was
that was me but i thought it was good i like that mb um what gender would you be if there was a full moon?
Trans wolf.
Definitely something that howls.
Yeah.
Wear trans?
Wear trans.
Vagina wolf.
A trampire?
A trampire? Ooh, trampire. Now we're cooking. Yeah, that's it. We got the namesampire A Trampire?
Ooh Trampire
Now we're cooking
Yeah that's it
We got the names rocking
Count Trampula
Ooh
Yeah
Count Cockula
Yeah I'd be a Trampire for sure
Trampire that'd be lit
Sucking only cock not blood
Yeah
I'm here to suck your cock
We got that one
Yeah that one's good
Yeah we did that one
That one's good
That's quick
You better get it
You gotta get it indeed What was the question again what gender would you be if there's a full moon yeah
that's just a good question you could do what gender would you be insert anything yeah yeah
any scenario if there's like a what gender would you be on a wednesday yeah well that's a tough
on taco tuesday which yeah that's not i can't even answer that On Taco Tuesday, what gender are you? I can't even answer that. Mexican.
Cinco de Mayo, what gender are you?
What's the most telltale signs it's time to get off a multi-day slash week bender?
They put that in there.
Anytime you have to use that verbiage to describe it.
How do I know it's time to give up? I like when you when when nothing is working anymore you just
you just pass out like you're just done toast if you're honestly in that scenario no amount of
drugs is making you feel better when you run out that's the only way no amount of drugs is doing
anything for you but you're gonna keep doing them but i'm saying like you're like dwindling like
you're just like about to fall asleep yeah that's like edc yeah like you could do fucking anything it's just not working you just shut down when you look old i feel like when you
yeah like two two three days you start to look old when your friends start to like scare you
but you're doing the same thing as them yeah you're like holy shit yeah when you look at them
and you're doing it too yeah and it looks bad yeah and it looks scary you're like wow that's
what i look like yeah probably worse it's usually some combination of I catch a smell of myself.
Ooh, yeah.
Combined with like, I'll have like a craving for soup.
If you've been in the same clothes for more than three days.
Yeah.
You're like a little bit of chicken broth would hit.
You have like 37 missed calls from your family.
You're fucking your mom and your dad.
Okay.
There you go.
Yeah.
And you took it there.
No, that's from the callback.
We went there. It's a callback. My bad, man. So that's how you end up there. Yeah, that's how you end it there no that's the from the no yeah we went there call
back my bad so that's how you end up there yeah that's how you end up there multi-week bender
anytime you start to describe i think if you can't remember when you started
yes if if you're just talking amongst people and you're like wait was that wednesday or yeah like
fourth of july weekend i swear to god i don't remember which night was what at all like friday
saturday sunday no yeah other than going to chris lake i don't remember which night was what at all. Like Friday, Saturday, Sunday, no clue. Other than going to Chris Lake, I don't remember what day it was.
Someone says something that happened like yesterday
and you thought it was like last week.
Oh, yeah, that's when you know for sure.
Because the days are long because you're awake for 24 hours.
Yeah, a bender on its own is like three days long.
Yeah.
We need to stop.
We got to stop.
But next question.
Next week, end.
What's it like being single? This is on there. We gotta stop. But next question. Next week, end. What's it like being single?
This is on there.
This is real.
You put this one.
I swear on my life.
It's great.
Yeah, what do you want to say?
I love it.
Well, he said we get to all of them, so I have to read them.
Was that like you trying to jab at us?
No.
He did laugh like it was a jab.
I just thought it was funny.
Why was it funny?
What is it like, Morgan? Huh? huh yeah what's it about to be like that's cool it's fun yeah i enjoy it i can't i've enjoyed it i don't have any negative things
to say about my time being single compared to my not times being single.
Less people to disappoint.
Like happiness per day capita.
Way more on the single side than on the not single side.
Yeah.
You think?
You're happy more days.
Like I'm never like, oh man, I'm dying for a girlfriend.
Mm-hmm.
But when I had a girlfriend, I was like, I'll fucking slit my wrist.
Yeah, there's so many times where I'm like,
this needs to end.
It's good when it's good.
Yeah.
But I know what you guys are saying.
Yeah.
Yep.
It's good when it's good.
Yeah.
It's great when it's,
it's way better than,
yeah.
Like that's the difference.
When you're in a relationship,
it's good when it's good,
but single,
it's great.
But like,
I'd say it's amazing.
There's a,
there's a solid 15 to 20 percent of just any
week where you're like god damn it yeah i would i would say being in a relationship raises your
to it raises your floor of sadness from like you you're never like that lonely and sad but it also
brings down the max happiness you could be because you can't just do like the funnest things also
you're right you're more in the middle also brings up level. You can just be pissed off all the time.
Yeah.
You're way more in the middle,
but when you're single,
you get to ride that high low,
you know,
you get to hit that.
You get to hit them.
Cause nobody's stopping you.
Yeah.
So you ride those highs and then you drill those lows.
Yeah.
Oh,
you bury yourself in those lows.
Yeah.
Skydive into them.
All right.
But overall,
it's good. Yeah, it's good.
Yeah, it's good.
Yeah, I'd say we could...
I can't read those.
I don't even know what it says.
There's a couple more.
Do we just...
Do we want to knock them out?
We might as well.
Yeah.
Fuck it.
This one's from Hufflepuff.
69.
This one's from Usagi again.
If you could be a celebrity for a day, who would you choose and what's the first thing you do
for a day who has who has a day cool a cool day a cool ass day like every day like
i'm trying to make sure like i don't tell like if i said like bezos or something and then i'm
just like in a board meeting that day that would suck but it'd be i was gonna say just like elon musk because
you just have the most money of anyone on earth but you only get to what you get to buy shit for
a day no just do whatever you want i would say like i'd pick like an athlete or something like
and just dunk like lebron and just fucking slam dunk all day you think that would be hella fun
you're only getting a day like if you buy something it's gone i don't mean buy something
i just mean like you could literally just do whatever lebron's pretty rich that's true lebron
is pretty rich i'd spend the morning windmill dunking on a five foot hoop too yeah and then i'd
i'd take my ass to a fucking club and throw bands no fuck that i go to an elementary school and play
against the kids yeah just fucking absolutely do that you just go to an elementary school and play against the kids. Yeah, just fucking absolutely. I could already do that.
You'd just go to jail.
Yeah, it'd be funnier for LeBron. LeBron would be cool.
See, I could pull it off.
You'd end up on a fucking list.
Yeah, now I'd be on a list.
Maybe take a nap.
After you windmill for a minute?
Yeah, just a full morning of windmills.
I just feel like Elon would be cool because you'd have access to the sickest fucking shit.
Ooh, maybe like a...
You could go fly on a spaceship if you want.
Maybe reverse of the dunking is cool part.
Like someone with access to like some information
that's cool. Ooh.
Like Biden. Just to see how fucked his brain actually is.
It would suck to be in Biden's body, but you get
to like, hey, like, hey. You could touch a bunch
of kids.
That. Or you could just like
you could call up all your Secretary of State people and just
be like, hey, what's the down low on all this stuff?
Yeah, fuck that. I'm figuring out about the aliens. Yeah, I'd be like give me everything. Yeah. Yeah, the guy
Give me everything
That's it. Or who's that super crazy fucker?
Alex Jones Alex Jones. I want to be him for a day
He knows everything already and it just I would just yeah because it makes sense to him
So I want to see what that feels like. Yeah. Yeah one of those here
So windmill dunk or nobody that ends for sure.
Okay.
Fuck with that.
Or like...
Windmill dunk sounds like a fun day.
It does.
Just at his rich-ass house, just like...
Or like...
Drake would be sick.
Putin or something.
Drake's a boss.
Putin or something? Oh, a boss. Putin or something?
Oh, another country. Oh, Kim Jong-un.
Just kind of get some intel.
Is it Kim Jong-il now?
It's Un. Un first.
No Nuyens
over there? They all came here?
No Unlaps or whatever? Nuyens?
No, Nuyens. Nuyens? That's not
North Korean. Oh, no, I'm just saying.
Kim Jong-un would bust.
Could.
Yeah.
Unless it just actually really sucks over there and he's just having a bad time.
It's got to really suck.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, he lives like a king, so it's probably chill.
Yeah, he's Kim Jong-un.
I always thought it was King Jong-un.
I think that's the same thing. You just pronounced it. Yeah, I always thought it was king jong-un i think that's the same thing you just pronounced it yeah i always thought i was pronouncing it incorrectly what else you got pig okay she's unbelievably hot but she has herpes are you
gonna jimmy up for mommy or walk i mean up for mommy what kind of herpes
like genital there's there's two yeah yeah i mean i'll wear a condom for once
that's true i could go buy a condom that's more of a like
i mean okay let's be fair there's probably some chicks in college that we didn't even know, and we still did it.
Yeah.
So if I know, at least I know.
Well, okay, let's play another scenario.
Okay.
Like, let's do one that's not permanent.
Like, how hot do they have to be if you knew you were getting the clap after?
I mean, I wouldn't even really care.
Don't you just take, like, a pill?
If it was like, oh, she's she's gonna give you aids now we have a
conversation yeah well herpes aids those are the ones that you can't get rid of anything else i
guess yeah but like aids is a little bit bigger what about just hiv just hiv i don't know if i'd
sign up for that one yeah i think that or risk you even risk that one is that the worst hiv
is the worst hiv then aids they're the same thing at least you have to
have hiv to get aids is that what it is yeah okay i always and then you are aids and then you mix
those up like my left and rights you know yeah so hiv is first yes
lefty lucy righty tighty HIV AIDS waities Got it.
Wow, I was gonna say that too.
Sounds good.
Dream festival to play at?
I guess it's more so the stage that we're on.
County Fair.
The County Fair? Yeah.
Because like I would say EDC, but we've already done that just bigger stage.
Yeah, definitely definitely a bigger stage.
Nah, Tomorrowland would be lit.
Tomorrowland would be lit as fuck.
Coachella's a hair tent just- Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a fucking vibe too. Yeah.
Totally. There's a lot.
There's a lot. There's a lot.
Yeah, all of them, but bigger scale. Yeah. Definitely. Headlining. Yes. Which one would you like to headline? Yeah.
We done for the day? Let's cap it off. Their nonsense hour has concluded.
No jackhammers. That was nice. Fuck. Did we not get any?'s cap it off their nonsense hour has concluded no jackhammers that was nice
they turned it off they were still ringing in my head they turned it off for us oh they're about
to start right back up swear to god are they it's perfect out of way boys well 52 what to do
we will be back next friday right on time baby bing bong bing bong bing