NO FOMO - 7. Grandma’s House

Episode Date: March 25, 2022

Welcome Back Fomo Sapiens. This week we get into some of Bidens Babblings, go to Grandma's house, and decipher some next level riddles. Let's Evolve Together, NO FOMO. To Submit to the Show message us... on Instagram linked below! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fomomusic_/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/fomomusic_ Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/6K4rA9ocjtIaTOEVZ4N6dX?si=Gqh12elJQYO_zfRaW-Q9Lw&nd=1 Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/wearefomomusic  

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Boys, boys, boys, what's going on? Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to No FOMO. We are back with episode seven, I believe. This will be eight. This will be eight. Yeah, this is 8.2. 8.2, yeah. Refresh.
Starting point is 00:00:14 We had eight X. A little re-record. The last one, we were coming off a pretty heavy bender, so we decided we're just going to re-record the whole thing. Yeah, our brains were way less functional than usual. Yeah, we thought we had it. Yeah, we're usually running on E, so I don't even know what you call this.
Starting point is 00:00:29 What's less than zero of a tank? Pushing the car into the station. We were getting AAA towed to the gas station last episode. FOMO News, we are going to be in Miami for Miami Music Week. Oh, shit. This coming Saturday, the 26th of March. FOMO news we are going to be in Miami for Miami Music Week oh shit this coming Saturday the 26th of March our Miami debut
Starting point is 00:00:49 we're playing Nitty and Friends Showcase can't wait super stoked on that other than that we've got some merch for sale
Starting point is 00:00:55 if you want to check out the Say No to Drugs tees those are in the link in our biography yeah we'll put a
Starting point is 00:01:03 fucking picture up there yeah we'll slap up a pic it's the D.A.R.E. shirt but instead of D.A.R.E., it's FOMO. And it's, yeah. It's pro. We do. We're pro drugs. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:12 Other than that, boys, what's popping? I just got a couple quick ones. I want to do a quick shout-out to a TikTok trend that I've been seeing. Just, you know, with the algorithm and everything, they found a workaround to showing some tits on there. Oh, really? There's tits on there. If you are breastfeeding on the talk, you can slip anything you want.
Starting point is 00:01:30 So there's just some big old bitties in there. And if you can kind of block off on the screen the little baby going, The baby's head? It gets it done for you. It's just a good time. What exactly does it get done for you, Jay? I mean, it's what you want to see on TikTok anyway. It's what we're all envisioning
Starting point is 00:01:45 when we see those dances or whatever, those trends. So it's just, it's a great workaround. I'm glad we figured it out. Is there like a hashtag where the boys should be looking up to find this or something? I mean, I'm... Just hashtag breastfeeding? I'm sure you could type in breastfeeding.
Starting point is 00:01:57 No, I'm going to have to hit up Craigslist for this, see if anybody needs one for it. Craigslist? Yeah, I'll breastfeed if you need one. Like if anyone needs a... For the talk? You will be the next. I'll feed up if you need one like if anyone needs it for the talk i'll feed up oh you won't be the baby let me be let me feed on your feed oh i wonder if that would actually work let me feed on your feed baby baby professional feed feeder i will feed on your feed
Starting point is 00:02:16 wow i promise all right so we're cutting that we're leaving and then uh and then beyond that um i mean i'm a slut for any sort of gear. So I had our friends over at Haircraft give me one half-used thing of hair gel. Fuck yeah. So I'm giving them a plug, baby. That's all. You send me anything and I'll throw your shit down. So Haircraft, the boys, they got the shit.
Starting point is 00:02:37 Haircraft, Haircraft. Ever thought about crafting? Look at all the flows today except for Morg. Never look at his. I mean, that shit's ripping. Yeah. I mean, shout out to Haircraft, the absolute boys. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:44 If you need to craft. I didn't get any product, so we're cutting my portion of the industry. Like I said, it's just for me. You send me anything, I mean, that shit's ripping. Yeah. I mean, shout out to Haircraft, the absolute boys. Yeah, if you need to crush it. I didn't get any product, so we're cutting my portion of the endorsement. Like I said, it's just for me. You send me anything, I'll plug it. My portion of the endorsement's getting cut. You send me a fucking sticker. Until I get it. Okay. Are we, we're boosting the Kings? I thought we were ripping
Starting point is 00:02:59 you apart. Okay, we're gonna start by, we're bringing back Fuck FOMO. It's how it's gonna go yeah so i don't know if anyone who's watching this even knows but back during quarantine we were doing a segment called fuck fomo fridays where we would just roast we would have people send in roasts of us we'd post pictures and we're bringing it back it's coming back because the kids heads are getting a little too big i think it's time to to really level us out yeah yeah we dropped some big views on tiktok and then and we think we're this we think we're hot shit, but we're not, you know?
Starting point is 00:03:28 So I'm going to throw the pictures up. Yeah, where are they? Let's see. What do you guys want to do first? I want the hat one. The prom one is just fucking awesome. The prom hat. The prom hat?
Starting point is 00:03:38 Yeah. Fucking shit Christ. So for those of you that are just listening this is my is this freshman prom yeah freshman formal picture i have a fucking hat on that's the fucking weakest fit and first of all you don't just have a hat on you have is that hat that doesn't match the color you're wearing yes it's got a lightning bolt on the top of it it It's electric. It's an electric sunglasses. And it's, you didn't get that size correctly. When you went to Lids, they sized a watermelon for the hell of your head.
Starting point is 00:04:11 It looks way too different. Look at the shape of my head. My favorite part about this picture isn't even the fit though. Okay. Okay, here's my favorite part about this picture. Somehow, you accomplish the task of when there's multiple people taking a picture of you at the same time, you're looking at both cameras at the same time. Those eyes are looking at each way.
Starting point is 00:04:29 Which camera are we looking at? And you go, I got this. No problem. Splits his fucking eyes in half. Oh, yeah. See, my right eye is definitely looking at this cam. I'm looking forward cam. And then every other camera.
Starting point is 00:04:39 I almost feel like your left eye is looking at this cam. You're crossing. You're crossing. And then my other favorite part about it is that the smile that you have on is that you're so happy that you were able to do it. Just this little dumb smirk on your face like, oh, I got it. Hack the system. I've been training on this for fucking years.
Starting point is 00:04:57 Damn it. What about that glistening ass forehead? Yeah, why are you so shiny? I'm shinier than a bitch. Jesus Christ. Dude, I was trying to figure out acne medicine back then, and it just made my ass shiny. How'd you get your chin so much closer to the camera than the rest of your head?
Starting point is 00:05:11 This is fucked up. I take this whole segment back. It's so good. Please tell me your date was wearing purple. I'd say no. I'd almost bet no. I'd bet the fuck no.
Starting point is 00:05:26 Oh, it's the worst purple I've ever seen in my whole life. But yeah, that's all I got for that. And it's like the shitty fucking... What's like satin checkered fucking vest? Oh, yeah. No jacket. No jacket. No, hell no.
Starting point is 00:05:37 Did you rent that or did you buy that? Please tell me you bought that. Rent to buy. That's a TJ Maxx. That's a clearance rack type purchase for sure. That's rent to buy. Rent to buy. That's a TJ Maxx. That's a clearance rack type purchase for sure. That's rent to buy. Rent to buy. Rent to own.
Starting point is 00:05:51 All right, we want to go to the next one? Hit the next one. Okay. I am sweating. Now, the question I had about this one is... Wait, so if you're just listening, I have a shirt on that says where's my hose at spelled h-o-s-e and there's firefight it's a silhouette of a firefighter and he's not even
Starting point is 00:06:10 holding a hose he's holding an axe yeah which is just a great shirt yeah but where my hose out you literally thought you took the hottest picture of all time wearing that shirt with three girls under on your arm dude and am i about to touch the ceiling with my fucking head jesus christ bro he's got that same smirk on his face as the last with my fucking head jesus christ bro he's got that same smirk on his face as the last picture except this time he's like oh it's so much it's so much more relaxed because he only has to look at one camera yeah yeah he had it figured out this time if there was two questions what was the circumstance of this because you've got these girls are two of them are dressed up uh this is wearing a lei yeah so the one on the my rights
Starting point is 00:06:42 my ex-girlfriend she it's graduation is a graduation party why is the one on the my rights my ex-girlfriend she it's graduation is a graduation party why is the one on the right so much closer and happier i don't know um also holy fucker egg head oh that shit was egg you can never shave your head ever again no that's not the look oh you had to fry that i almost get why you wore the hat to prom now oh dude my jaw didn't come in until this year so yeah that was the big you were rounded the fuck out oh yeah this shit was fucked up i had to shave my head because obviously something went wrong something went wrong hold on a fucker second why your chin is above the lamp in that room your head is actually touching the ceiling.
Starting point is 00:07:25 You're looking. You can see the dead bugs collected in that lamp from the top. I can see everything in that house. That's on God. All right, hit us with the next one. Okay, let's see what we got. I think this next one's my favorite also. All these are my favorite.
Starting point is 00:07:38 What do you want? Anything with Morgan in it. Ultra or the Cal Poly one with the beanie? Oh, the Cal Poly with the beanie is fucking dummy. Jesus Christ. Oh, shit Cal Poly with the beanie is fucking dummy. Jesus Christ. Oh, shit. This is braces, Morgan. So those listening and not looking at this,
Starting point is 00:07:51 Morgan has fucking the largest fake diamond earrings I've ever seen in my life in his years. Braces and a fucking Green Lantern beanie and a Cal Poly jacket when he did not even go to Cal Poly. Oh, I didn't even get in. intern beanie and a Cal Poly jacket when he did not even go to Cal Poly. Oh, I didn't even get in. Now, I will take, I will like sever a little bit of the roast away from you on the beanie.
Starting point is 00:08:17 In high school, our friend group all got a set of beanies with different superheroes on them. Okay. So one of us had a Batman one. I had a Superman one. Someone had like a Captain America one. And it wasn't cool. Well, because in high school, we still thought we were going to grow up
Starting point is 00:08:26 to have superpowers. Is that what you were thinking in this picture? Did you match the braces color for this picture specifically? Oh, yeah. Or you chose green braces? A point was on Tuesday and then pictures on Friday.
Starting point is 00:08:40 So I had to go green on green on green. Not the braces custom for this picture. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And this is the same girlfriend right? Same girlfriend, yeah. Is this before or after that last picture because she looks so much sadder. And she also looks about eight inches taller than the last picture
Starting point is 00:08:53 which I'm confused about. Oh, she would go through spurts and peaks and valleys with her height, yeah. No, because I swear to God she didn't even come up to your hip in the last photo. Yeah, shit was weird in high school. That's all I can say. Look at the hope in this picture. It's like, oh, we're going to go to college together.
Starting point is 00:09:10 It's all going to work out. Oh, my God. I didn't even realize the subtext. Can you imagine this, Borg? I didn't even realize the subtext of this. You guys totally took this picture like, oh, we both applied. We're going to get in. We're totally going to get in and go together.
Starting point is 00:09:21 She got in, didn't she? She went there, yeah. She went to that school. And I had better fucking grades. This is horse shit. That's fucked up. All right, hit us with the next one. This last one.
Starting point is 00:09:30 Is this the, we want the ultra pick? Yeah, this is the. This one's special. Okay. This one has too much good. Break it down. You want me to break it down? Yeah, why don't you let the people know what's going on?
Starting point is 00:09:40 Okay, so I am at Ultra Music Festival 2013 or something like that. And holy shit, I don't do drugs. But if you did, you'd look a lot like that. And it's hard to see, but if you zoom into my pinky finger, I grew out my pinky nail for a reason. I forgot you had the party nail. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:02 The only note I had for this one is we've got the man bun and shaka up, bro. Man shaka. I mean, can you do a worse thing? I got to Miami once and just turns into a completely different human being. Yeah, it's crazy. To give a light transition to hype my boy up, looking kind of cut in this one. Yeah, looking a little bit stuck. If I were flexing, it would be done.
Starting point is 00:10:22 If you didn't have the man bun, you'd just look like you're there to party and don't look like a complete tool bag. Yeah, but I do. But you have a man bun. Yeah. I already missed the giant fake earrings on this picture, though. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:34 I got used to it in the last one. That would have completed the shit out of it. Those are a personality trait. That would have completed the shit out of this one. I'll never forget when you got those and we were roasting and he was like, the bitches like them, dude. Yeah, the hoes.
Starting point is 00:10:43 The hoes like them, dude. We're in freaking high school, 17. He's like, the bitches like them, dude. Yeah, the hoes. The hoes like them, dude. We're in freaking high school, 17. He's like, the hoes like them. I'm like, who? Where are they at? They're roasting you right now. Lost my virginity senior year, so that's how that went.
Starting point is 00:10:55 As soon as the earrings came out, everything started coming together. No, they were in. They stay on during sex. Okay. All right. So, okay, were you going to boost me up up now or how is this working now we're just skipping no that was a trick segment we're not doing that we put that segment in there to make
Starting point is 00:11:11 you think that it was all gonna be okay after but it ain't it ain't okay we got a new fucking special ass segment here biden's babbles yes this is what we're going to do. We've collected some of the most legendary, unspeakable, untranslatable Biden quotes. No, they're speakable. You just have no idea what the fuck they are. He spoke them. So we're going to pull up these Biden quotes and try to
Starting point is 00:11:37 fucking figure out what the fuck's going on. No context at all. Not only that, I think a nice little side piece of this would be to try to figure out what he was asked. Yeah, the question would be fun. What was he asked piece of this would be to try to figure out what he was asked. Yeah, the question would be fun. What was he asked to give this answer? The question would be fun as well. So what was he asked? What does it mean?
Starting point is 00:11:51 What was the response? What is going on? What is a response? What the fuck is going on? Okay, we're going to play it. We got them all loaded up here. We got the audio. All right, here we go.
Starting point is 00:12:28 One of the reasons why I decided to talk about the need to deal with the operation and the gouging that occurs in some of the pricing of beef and chicken and other things is that that's why I think that's why I indicated you were going to look at whether or not there's a violation of antitrust laws and what they're doing. Okay, so what was the question? Whoa. The question was— Was it beef and chicken related? What do you have for breakfast? What's your daily breakfast meal? What are your thoughts on the $1 hike of the dollar menu at McDonald's? Yes.
Starting point is 00:12:47 That was the question. We got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So he went from, how the fuck did that start when he got to beef and chicken? The price, the gouge, it wasn't the price. It was just the gouging of beef and chicken. I don't know if we're talking about the industry, how we're cutting them up.
Starting point is 00:13:05 How we're slaughtering animals. We're gouging beef and chicken. Yeah, that one, I think he was asked what's for breakfast. What's for dinner later. Yeah, what's for dinner later, and that's what we got. Okay, and then we've got to replay that again. Play it one more time. Yeah, let's play it again here.
Starting point is 00:13:22 Play it from the top. of here. Play it one more time. Yeah, let's play it again here. Play it from the top. One of the reasons why I decided to talk about the need to deal with the operation and the gouging that occurs in some of the pricing of beef and chicken and other things is that that's why I think that's why I indicated to you we're going to look at whether or not there's a violation of antitrust laws and what they're doing.
Starting point is 00:13:52 Oh, this is big trust beef. Yeah. I guess there was some homework that we were supposed to do in that question. He said that we were going to look at. We need to look something up. We were going to look into it. We had to do some research and we didn't do it. Yeah. And we asked the question and he was like, you were going to look at. We need to look something up. We were going to look into it. We had to do some research and we didn't do it. And we asked the question and he was like,
Starting point is 00:14:07 you were supposed to look this up. This is on you. You need to have some pre-knowledge coming in. Yeah, how did you know? Okay, so he goes, the beef and chicken pricing having to do with big trust laws? Anti-trust laws. Anti-trust laws.
Starting point is 00:14:19 Are there anti-trust laws for beef? There are. That's a real thing. That's a thing? Don't trust beef. Don't trust chicken. That's big trust, don't trust. Yeah, I don't.
Starting point is 00:14:27 On this week's episode of Big Trust, No Trust. I have no fucking clue. So yeah, I'd say we're 0 for 2 on that one. Maybe fire us off on the next one. Okay, yeah, that one was easy. That one. Okay, here we go. How many times do you see people pulling up to McDonald's sitting outside during the pandemic
Starting point is 00:14:46 so they could do their homework because they can get off of their line? Wow. Wow. First of all- Okay, wait. If you see the freeze frame of this one and you see this lady,
Starting point is 00:15:01 one of my favorite things that I found out through finding these clips, there's an Australian news thing that rips him to shreds the entire time. Their whole thing is they have a Biden's ballot. They have this segment. We stole it from them almost. Oh, really? And they just go, this week, Joe Biden,
Starting point is 00:15:16 oh my God. And they just play a clip. I know what the question was. They asked him How many times do you see people pulling up to mcdonald's sitting outside during this they asked him this is the question he just repeated the question he asked the question okay that was the question how that was the question do you see people sitting outside
Starting point is 00:15:39 of mcdonald's in their line. Yeah, in their own line. Dude, I might have to pull up to McDonald's and do some homework just to fucking get on his side. I gotta understand. During the pandemic, though.
Starting point is 00:15:50 This was during the pandemic. Not just regularly because that happens all the time normally. That's a standard practice. Get off their line? Homie, we got Wi-Fi, my boy. They're trying to use
Starting point is 00:15:58 McDonald's Wi-Fi in the drive-thru line. Does McDonald's even have Wi-Fi? I don't think so. It's not... They don't have like a Starbucks situation where there's people in there doing work and shit.
Starting point is 00:16:06 Someone's working on the worst group labels. There is Wi-Fi, but it's not for people outside. Someone's writing their fucking novel inside a McDonald's. If you need a code to get into the bathroom in McDonald's, they don't have free Wi-Fi. No, fuck no. They don't want you hanging out there.
Starting point is 00:16:19 I don't even think, you rarely even see people dining in at a McDonald's. It's like not a place, if they don't have a drive-thru, like I'm not going. It's a sad day if you dining in at a McDonald's. It's like not a place. If they don't have a drive-thru, like I'm not going. Oh, the vibe is so off. It's a sad day if you're eating in at McDonald's. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:28 If you order and you say for here. I've had a couple of hungovers. I don't even think they ask you for here to go. They're like, get the fuck out. They throw you the bag and say, figure it out, you trough. You actually have to wait in your car outside, even though you ordered at the counter. So what did they say?
Starting point is 00:16:44 I don't think there's something to say about that two for two that's easy dude what no what what did they respond i think next question who yeah whoever asked him that question was like thank you mr president yeah what as an interviewer you're just so thrown off i feel like you just got to be like thank you for that mr president holy shit give him a softer ball yeah okay that went there in the that went way too hard we need to stop he said give him a softball okay clip three and the third thing is last year alone 1.2 billion dollars in overtime was denied by our for hourly workers who are not unionized. 1.2 billion. So you go ahead and you stack spaghetti sauce at a store and in a supermarket. You control the guy or the woman who runs the run, brings out the carts on a forklift.
Starting point is 00:17:38 What happens? They make you management. You can't get paid overtime. And you see it happen with labor as well. So the bottom line is I'm for you because america needs you to grow we need okay holy fuck so first of all they don't have forklifts in grocery stores first of all that's not how you bring in grocery cards with a forklift they got a guy driving around the parking lot picking up the grocery cards with a forklift i've never seen that i don't know what market he's
Starting point is 00:18:06 shopping at and then spaghetti that's some trader joe shit that's way too nice you can't even say he has a slow brain because spaghetti sauce is just so high brow stacking spaghetti trillion stacking spaghetti sauce is a store dude that's jesus christ and we're not over time we're not talking about the people doing spaghetti sauce i love how by the end of it he thought he fucking nailed it too he goes and that's why i'm for you we're like i about the people doing spaghetti sauce. I love how by the end of it, he thought he fucking nailed it too. He goes, and that's why I'm for you. We're like, I don't even know what you said, my guy. It's so loud. This is the NRA lobby.
Starting point is 00:18:33 Everyone's screaming, what's so loud? He's like, it's cheering. Yeah. Wait, what? What? What? Holy shit. It's a dream, dude.
Starting point is 00:18:41 These are easy. So that was him like in a debate or like a town hall like trying to – this was like pre him getting elected, I think. Yeah, that was – He was like – by the end, he's just, I fucking nailed that. Boom. That's why I'm your next president. I will say this.
Starting point is 00:18:56 We haven't given these a long enough run to hear the pause and the point where there would be a pause. There isn't. I've seen the whole video. Trust me. Sure not. It's a lot of, what?
Starting point is 00:19:07 Honey, what did he say? The guy in his ear is just like, yes, yes, yes, Mr. President. I hope there's such a delay in his earpiece that he's hearing skips around. He's like, wait, spaghetti sauce? Spaghetti sauce, spaghetti sauce. Forklift.
Starting point is 00:19:23 What? He's trying to keep up and just merges it all into one sentence. Yeah. Run the next one. Picking up forklifts with spaghetti sauce. I think this one's my favorite one if I remember right. Okay. I got a lot of it.
Starting point is 00:19:34 I got hairy legs that turn blonde in the sun. And the kids used to come up and reach in the pool and rub my leg down so it was straight and then watch the hair come back up again. They'd look at it. So I learned about roaches. I learned about kids jumping on my lap. And I've loved kids jumping on my lap.
Starting point is 00:19:58 This is an all-time one. This one's so fucked up. This one is so fucked up. It's taken more than 100 years. So you can almost understand. That helps for sure. It was at least in control of that. What was he asked about?
Starting point is 00:20:14 Because he finishes it with, so I've learned about roaches. And I've learned about kids jumping on my lap. So was that the question? And I've loved kids jumping on my lap. Mr. President, what do you know about bugs and children? No, the question is, what color does your leg hair turn in the sun? No, he didn't say hair.
Starting point is 00:20:31 He said legs. No, his legs. Yeah, he was talking about the hair, but he said my legs turn blonde in the sun. Yeah, so that was the question for sure. What color do your leg hair turn in the sun? Yeah, that's a good question. Nailed the first part. He is all gray.
Starting point is 00:20:43 Is there any question that his hair is any different color? Does your leg hair turn gray? That's a good question. Nailed the first part. He is all gray. Is there any question that his hair is any different color? Does your leg hair turn gray? For him, it do. Yeah, it do. Yeah, I feel like it does. So when then he was in the pool and they would brush the hair down. The kids would brush down his leg hair in the pool. So my question for the scenario is, is this when he was a kid?
Starting point is 00:21:04 No, that's so weird. It had to have been his kid that did it. Yeah, no. The only way that's not the creepiest thing ever is his own children. I don't think it was. I don't think he has children. He does. He does?
Starting point is 00:21:13 Yeah. Hunter Biden, dude. The fucking cocaine cowboy. Oh, the cowboy. Oh, my God. The fucking crack man. So and then roaches? What was the roaches?
Starting point is 00:21:22 He knows about them. That's what we know. He knows about them. Yeah, where did that come from? I have leg hair and roaches are my boys roaches he knows about him that's what he knows about him i have leg hair and roaches are my boys and boys sit on my lap and he loves it biden that was 2024 i'll tell you i'm in it's low-key so creepy yeah low-key that's the biggest key i've learned about kids jumping on my lap and i've loved kids jumping on my lap through the years it's just grown into a love for him it's started as like all right fine whatever That's the biggest key. I've learned about kids jumping on my lap, and I've loved kids jumping on my lap. Through the years, it's just grown into a love for him.
Starting point is 00:21:49 It started as like, all right, fine, whatever. But now it's like, fuck yes. Now I'm used to it, and now I love it. Now I love it. Little boys jumping on my lap. The eye contact for me. Those are good. Those are easy. Those are good.
Starting point is 00:22:01 Those are so easy to decipher. Now, I would say you probably could use, like someone should study into this and get like a Rosetta Stone sort of deal going on. Yeah. Like someone should learn. Have a separate dictionary for him. Biden linguistics. Rosetta Stone.
Starting point is 00:22:13 Rosetta Stone. He's got his own language for sure. Rosetta Stone, yeah. Because he could have been talking about a serious political issue that whole time. We didn't even get that context. I would love for each one of those questions or answers to be for the same question,
Starting point is 00:22:25 just at different rallies. They easily could have been, too. They're just like, what do you love about Ohio? And he's just like, spaghetti sauce in the store. Forklifts with golf carts. Maybe it's like a secret message, like leg hair is like taxes. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. Or you think it's a cry for help?
Starting point is 00:22:40 If you break this down and use a key that he's given out. If you play it in reverse, it's like, please help me. Please help me. He's in the sunken place. Yeah. That's next week's. He's being used as a meat puppet. And we see if it makes more sense.
Starting point is 00:22:52 He's being used as a meat puppet for the liberal agenda. If we play that in reverse, it'd be fucking clear as day. Yeah. He's just talking about it. He's like, I'm going to reduce taxes. I'm going to fuck. I have a very deliberate plan. This is how it's going to go down have a very deliberate plan. This is how
Starting point is 00:23:06 it's going to go down. Those are my fave. Okay. We're right into Philosopher's Tale. Don't look at my shit, dude. I'm not looking. I'm not looking. That might have been your best one.
Starting point is 00:23:26 Nailed it. That was good. Nailed it. Give me some sauce. Give me some spaghetti sauce, dude. Give me some spaghetti sauce. Stack it on the forklift. Stack it right on there.
Starting point is 00:23:33 Bring it on the forklift. Okay. The female version of a cock block. Go. So my first one here, I'd state a lot of sports references on mine. First one I got is boxing out. It's just a really good boxing out. Boxing out.
Starting point is 00:23:49 Download your love. Boxing out. Okay. Beaver blocked. Okay, solid. Pussy protector. Okay. I'd state offensive here.
Starting point is 00:23:58 Offensive clitorference. Oh, I like the sports, dude. Pie plugged. Pie plugged. The meat wallet watcher. Meat wallet. She meat wallet watched me. Taco Blocko.
Starting point is 00:24:15 Oh, sleeve screen. I couldn't figure out a way to get this one. Just go. Keep going. Okay. I got another one. Submarine the Bean. Crease Check. Crease Check.
Starting point is 00:24:35 Burden on the Beef Curtains. Ooh, she burdened those beef curtains. So sorry. Socket Stopped. Socket stopped. Socket stopped. Penis fly trap slap. Penis fly trap flapped me. Penis fly trap is actually just solid.
Starting point is 00:24:58 I got penis fly trap? That's a guy version. That's what you get tricked in. You got some? No, no no uh socket stopped okay okay yeah yeah yeah i got uh this one i had to go way deep no guys for the whispering eye oh but did she get clam clamped? Clam clamped. I only got one more here and I'm out.
Starting point is 00:25:27 Muff cuff. Wallet walled. Wallet? The wall... Which one is... The wall is the best. Wallet walled? They built a fucking brick wall
Starting point is 00:25:38 in front of that wallet? I got a couple more just because they're fun. She stalled. She stalled? Just stalled it. She didn't actually block this one. She just put it.
Starting point is 00:25:46 This one was like maybe on the next date. Yeah. Oh, cookie curbed. Cookie curbed. Curbed cookie. I like that. Crumble. Cookie crumble.
Starting point is 00:25:53 Yeah. Snatch patched. Snatch patched. Snatch patched is good. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good.
Starting point is 00:25:58 Okay. Okay. Okay. Here we go. Things you could say at grandma's house and also during sex. Where's the milk? Hey, grandma, get your ass in here. This was just a one-liner for me.
Starting point is 00:26:19 Bingo. Happy birthday, grandma. Is this cookie freshly baked where's grandpa oh i actually have that one you have that one oh fuck can we have something other than cream pie for dessert grandma oh god uh You want to go? Fuck, hold on. Just go. Okay, I got one. Okay, put your dentures back in now.
Starting point is 00:26:52 You're sick. I told you I had a tough time not making you disgusting. You're the best grandma a grandson could ever ask for. You're just sick. I got one off that. Grandma, what are you doing? How much time do we have till Grandpa gets back? Yours are sick. They're also with me in there.
Starting point is 00:27:18 I got another one here. It's okay. It doesn't matter if you remember my name. Oh, you're dark as shit. It's okay. It doesn't matter if you remember my name. Oh, you're darkish. Okay, here we go here. Those ones are... I knew we were going to go dirty on them, like really dirty,
Starting point is 00:27:37 but I thought I was going to be the only one. I was really glad you met. Morg met you, right? I had to have grandma there with me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Grandma was participating in every one of those. Okay. Little sub-segment here.
Starting point is 00:27:49 Dumbledore's debates. Me and Jay actually went in on this one. It's a little trend going on right now. Are there more fucking doors or wheels on the planet? This one's an easy one for me. We debated this one, so I want to hear your opinion, Gary. Okay. This one's an easy one for me.
Starting point is 00:28:03 We debated this one, so I want to hear your opinion, Garrett. Okay. It's tough because you're looking at multiple doors per household or even in like an apartment or something. Correct, correct. They're like cabinet doors in Shake Count. Yes. Okay, so I'm going to... Those count?
Starting point is 00:28:16 Yes. I'm going doors because... No, no, no. It's not a door because it has to be... No, no, no. I looked up. You're wrong on this one. I feel like it should be something you have to walk through.
Starting point is 00:28:24 No, it has to be... Cabinet doors count. It's a location to location. No, it, no. I looked up. You're wrong on this one. I feel like it should be something you have to walk through. No, it has to be a cabinet doors count. It's a location to location. No, it's not. You don't call it a covered door. You can pass through. You're saying to pass through, you reach through the door. No, it's just called a cabinet. You don't call it a door.
Starting point is 00:28:36 Cabinet door. It's a cabinet door. Is it? Yeah. Okay, we'll count that. Even despite that, you're wrong. But keep going. Oh, I'm still wrong?
Starting point is 00:28:43 Yeah, absolutely. It's not doors not a shot well there's no there's no right answer but we're gonna figure it out well i'm hard team wheels so i'm just telling you you're wrong okay okay okay my my perspective is that in this house there's fucking 20 30 doors right and between all the people that live here there's maybe three cars so you got 12 wheels. No. Well, here's the thing. You got to cancel out cars completely
Starting point is 00:29:08 because you've got doors on cars and wheels on cars. Oh, there's four doors on every car too. Yeah, that's a wash. It's got to be wheels. Okay, but here's wheels. Here's why there's wheels. Think about a factory where they slide like the packages, all of those little tiny wheels.
Starting point is 00:29:24 Those are all counting like in machines? Every wheel. Okay. okay yeah think of how many wheels it makes to make skates okay wheels here's why houses are even a wash because that's like the biggest argument for doors right yeah office chair you got six wheels per there's like four in this house so fair that's facts and okay so like a conveyor belt do those wheels count i mean that's what those are those are belts though you know okay yeah but the ones that are just the wheels that they slide but you would say we got to fix the wheels on the conveyor belt i mean if it has wheels yeah but those aren't as many i feel like no think about the ones that roll yeah that's what i'm saying the rolly ones yeah those are a fuck ton of wheels yeah so we're going wheels 100
Starting point is 00:30:03 shopping carts yeah just a shit ton of shopping carts Yeah. So we're going wheels 100%. Shopping carts. Yeah. There's a shit ton of shopping carts, dude. It's just because wheels are so much smaller. Like, there's going to be more of them. Well, no, so here's the argument for some of the doors. You got, like, dollhouses. Yeah, but there's not that. There's not that many.
Starting point is 00:30:16 No. Okay, so if you break it down by house. Hot wheels. Because houses are going to be the most potent thing. But that's, so that's my argument. Even, like, say the Empire State Building, right? How many fucking buildings? Or whatever fucking giant skyscraper doors are in there think about how many office chairs are in that bitch true oh at least one in every office fuck dude you're on like for every door there's like six wheels in an office yeah okay so if you
Starting point is 00:30:39 go by house yeah it's what so like 20 doors in here and then three office chairs so that's 18 yeah we're call it a wash and then you got a suitcase with some wheels on it you got it's it's team wheels it's gotta be wheels it's hot wheels because i think about even in the dishwasher there's like wheels to fucking slide in and out there's just so many wheels we're rolling we're rolling we're rolling gotta roll yeah i think we're team wheels. It's gotta be wheels. Honestly, if you're team doors, get the fuck out. Yeah. Get the fuck out. Get the fuck out.
Starting point is 00:31:08 Walk out the door right now. Yeah, walk out of your fucking door and then stay out. We don't want to knock on the team doors, but... No, fuck team doors. You're just wrong. Fuck team doors. I'll say it. We don't want to knock team doors.
Starting point is 00:31:18 I'll lose a fan. Fuck team doors. No one got that? Stop, stop, stop. No one got that? Not to knock team doors. We don't want to knock on team doors. We don't want to knock on team doors. We don't want to ding-dong bitch doors.
Starting point is 00:31:28 I got one of those for you. Okay. Father. This is just a question for you guys. Do you think there are more combinations of how a deck of cards can be shuffled or atoms in the universe? I mean, there's an answer to this, right? Yep. I mean, we know the answer to this. It has to be atoms in the universe? I mean, it's... There's an answer to this, right?
Starting point is 00:31:45 Yep. I mean, we know the answer to this. It has to be atoms in the universe. Atoms? Atoms. It has to be atoms. It is not. Wow.
Starting point is 00:31:54 There are more permutations of how a deck of cards can be shuffled than there are atoms in the universe. More than there are stars in the sky. I don't believe that. Well, because it has to be 52 to the 52nd, right? 52 to the 52. It's 52 factorial, right? And then atoms in the universe is something like 10 to the sky. I don't believe that. Well, because it has to be 52 to the 52nd, right? 52 to the 52. It's 52 factorial, right? And then atoms in the universe is something like 10 to the 78.
Starting point is 00:32:09 But there's... A star has a shit ton of atoms, though. So, I understand that. Okay. There's no way. I feel like there's more atoms in your... Look it up! More atoms in just Earth than fucking...
Starting point is 00:32:22 Wait, are there atoms in a cell? Is that how they break down? Or is a cell a cell a cell? A cell is a cell is a cell. Yeah. I don't know. Are there atoms in cells? I don't...
Starting point is 00:32:32 Yeah, I don't know about that. Like, are there protons in a molecule? I am telling you... I am telling you what is a fact. Oh, that's a fact? It's a fact. It's not up for debate. Like, in the entire universe.
Starting point is 00:32:41 In the entire universe, there are more permutations of a deck of cards than there are in our galaxy in the entire universe that being said this might be galaxy it might be galaxy what about i'm not sure about galaxy universe i might have got into multiverses and then you know yeah i might have fucked that up and that being said this episode is sponsored by who makes the deck of cards bicycle bicycle bicycle or just bicycles in general run us that check bitch send me one card out of that deck, and I will fucking promote you. And I'll promote you.
Starting point is 00:33:08 He'll shuffle that. Is that not fucking gnarly, though, to think about? That's actually absurd. So how many, what's the number? 52 to 52 factorial. Like, what is the number? Something quadrillion or something? Think about how big it would have to be to be more than that.
Starting point is 00:33:21 It's one quadrillion. It's 52 factorial, right? Yeah. One quadrillion, 512 trillion. Shut the fuck up. Factorial, I'm looking this up. You won't even be able to pronounce the number.
Starting point is 00:33:33 Oh, yeah. It's 8.0658 with the letter E. 67. What does the letter E mean? What does that mean? Exponent. Okay. To the 67th. To the 67th power. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:50 That doesn't seem that big. Garrett didn't pass that class. Yeah, I did. After the second time. Okay. Okay. It's 80. Wait, hold on.
Starting point is 00:34:03 It's about, I've never heard this word in my life. 80 unvigentillion. That's how you know that's fat. Is that not one of the terms for a cock block? For a female cock block? I got unvigentillioned. I got unvigentillioned. Unvigentillioned.
Starting point is 00:34:19 Holy shit. That's fucking crazy. Yeah, I can't really grasp that one. Nope, that one's not going to work out. Okay. Another Philosopher's Stone sub-segment. Tom's fucking crazy. Yeah, I can't really grasp that one. Nope, that one's not going to work out. Okay. Another Philosopher's Stone sub-segment. Tom's Riddles. Tom's Riddles. Okay. I'm harder than clay,
Starting point is 00:34:34 but softer than metal. I'm big and stupid, but I put the pedal to the metal. Vin Diesel. The Rock? Dwayne The Rock. Let's go! As soon as I heard pedal to metal, I was like, it's something for fast and the furious I know damn it that's good that
Starting point is 00:34:50 is good I'm a mammal but I'm completely hairless I do many things but everyone could care less is it me it's I'm a man say that one again I'm a mammal but I'm completely hairless. I do many things, but everyone could care less. A mole? No.
Starting point is 00:35:11 Think. I'm a mammal, but I'm hairless. Doesn't have to be an animal. Careless is the... Something. Careless, care... I'm a mammal, but I'm completely hairless. Wait, mammals have to have hair. So this think about it so i'm thinking it's not an animal because dolphins are mammals
Starting point is 00:35:30 it's not an animal do dolphins have hair i thought mammals have to have hair or they just have to give live birth i don't fucking know shit about anything i'm a fucking idiot think about the last question. The Rock? It's Dwayne The Rock! Yes! Let's go! Oh, shit. Okay. You couldn't defeat me even with a knife. I can't make a good movie not even to save my life.
Starting point is 00:35:55 The Rock! Dwayne The Rock! Yes! Fuck him. Now, did you come up with these or did you Google the Rock riddles?
Starting point is 00:36:06 I made those the fuck up. You did not. I swear on my whole fucking life. Those are impressive. Okay, this one's kind of like a challenge, a fun challenge. Okay, look in the camera for this. Okay, raise your eyebrows. Do a grr face.
Starting point is 00:36:21 Now lower your eyebrows and flex your stomach at the same time. Now everyone knows what it looks like when you take a shit. Congrats, you played yourself. I also thought of that. You could have just asked me to do that. Except mine's more like mouth wide open. And just... Fuck.
Starting point is 00:36:43 This guy just gets us every time. I had to all right we got truth or drink truth or drink you guys are fucked me first yeah go ahead we should low-key come up with our like sound bites for when we do these segments so we don't have to say it'll just be like truth or drink yeah we do need yeah that's fair we'll do that make it a little we could do today make it a little more professional yeah it'll have a big boom. Okay. When's the last time you talked shit on the other two people in the room and what was it about? I can't think of one. Oh, I can think.
Starting point is 00:37:15 The other two people? It doesn't have to be the same time. Any of the other people? I've smacked some gas on Garrett when he was dating his girlfriend for sure. Oh, that's the most recent? Yeah. Okay. Absolutely. So just most recent doesn't mean like sure. Oh, that's the most recent? Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:37:25 Absolutely. So just most recent doesn't mean like if you have recently. Like the most recent. Yeah, most recent. For Morg? I mean. When I fucking walked in today. In front of his face.
Starting point is 00:37:34 Yeah, right to his face. What'd you say? I forget. Huh? What'd you say? I forget. Probably something about you looking like a tall goblin bitch. That's just mean.
Starting point is 00:37:44 I mean, we. I'm going to drink just to fucking drink the pain away. We did just roast the shit out of you like 12 minutes ago. Yeah, what the fuck?
Starting point is 00:37:49 We just did it for 10 minutes straight. No, you mean like sincere shit? Sincere shit. Oh, like actual talking shit? Not a lot.
Starting point is 00:37:57 Garrett's never been on time in his whole fucking life. A. A. That's pretty accurate. Was that today? Yes. The line at Starbucks was fucking long.
Starting point is 00:38:09 Yeah, I tracked you there. Jay, you're just soft as shit with a girlfriend. Okay, okay. I feel like you could have gotten worse. Oh, no. You're just an overthinker. You're like I used to be, which is good to say. He's changed.
Starting point is 00:38:27 Fuck. I got one. When was the last time you sent a dick pic, and what pose did you go with? I don't think I ever have in my life. You need to think harder. No, I really don't. I haven't.
Starting point is 00:38:43 I can honestly say that. Camera doesn't pick up that little pixels. I've never had a high enough resolution camera. Now that I have the iPhone 13 though, ladies, watch the fuck out. Because that thing has some zoom on it. The zoom's never been strong enough. It's next level. I think I've sent more soft dick pics than hard dick pics.
Starting point is 00:39:03 Really? And what's the angle on that? I look at it more of a funny thing. No, like literally, what angle do you take a picture? Yeah, what was the pose? It's more of like a funny thing for me. It'll be like, oh, this guy misses you or something like that. Oh, man, because I'm just going to air out
Starting point is 00:39:18 your shit. You're a big time grower. You are not a shower. And it's still not that big of a grower no even though it grows a lot it's still not it's a lot the law of conservation of energy and mass oh yes okay learn it okay but when you lack the mass you can't create energy though right you can't just create mass you're right it only gets so big yeah he's right when he's right he's right but let me think about like a serious one no like you were trying to be like fucking sexy you're like i need this i'm more interested in the pose did you go with a with the down the down at it did
Starting point is 00:40:00 you go with the or were you like did you try and fit the abs in with the from the back yeah were you like laying down it's laying on you? Did you go with the side? I don't know if I've ever sent a dick pic to try to turn a girl on, but I have an idea. I mean, you sent them to me. You're not a girl. And we already knew you were turned on.
Starting point is 00:40:16 But for the... Oh, shit. For the male lingerie party that was supposedly happening... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You sent them to me. I had to put a banana in my pants. You stuffed that, though. Oh, yeah. I put a put a banana in my pants. You stuffed that, though. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:25 I put a whole ass banana in my pants. Yeah. No, it's not stuffed. It's a banana. Yeah. But that was like side flexing in the fucking body mirror. Side flexing in the body mirror. Let me think harder on this, though.
Starting point is 00:40:40 Well, Jay, what's your fucking answer, bitch? I think the last one would probably be like high school. And I think I went with the... Oh, so none to the... You went from the formanda? Not from under, but from this direction so you can fit in the abs, you know, too. I would like to see...
Starting point is 00:40:54 Because I got to distract away. I got to distract away from the little thumb. Just from under with your face in it? It's just my... My face is blocked out directly vertical. Arms are sticking out the side of it though. That'd be actually kind of sick.
Starting point is 00:41:10 G, you don't have any? I've never sent one, honestly. It's a good call. Yeah. It's always the right call. Yeah, it's never, it's just every time I've, I've definitely taken them
Starting point is 00:41:19 and just been like, nope. Yeah, that's not, it's just not my game. It just doesn't look, I don't see how anyone finds that attractive. Like I'm not, someone would have to beg not my game. It just doesn't look... I don't see how anyone finds that attractive. Someone would have to beg me to do it for me to send it. Just a soggy nacho fry?
Starting point is 00:41:30 Yeah. Okay, you got me. All right, we're all going to go take some. Let's see what photos we get. Okay, you got any? What? Truth or dream? No.
Starting point is 00:41:43 I got another one. This guy, dude. I got another one. I thought... I got another one. This guy, dude. I got another one. I thought... I got one. Morgue. Smash or pass. Eared sister.
Starting point is 00:41:56 Oh, shit. You had to do that. You had to do that. Little Nat boobs. It is hot in here. I'm going to have to say... Smash. All right. Follow up. It is hot in here. I'm going to have to say smash. All right, follow up,
Starting point is 00:42:07 follow up, follow up. What about his little brother? Oh, I knew that was coming. I fucking knew that was coming. Shit. You shouldn't have to think this long. Could I handle all that? He's too fragile for you, bro.
Starting point is 00:42:17 He's less fragile than you. Dude, he's been lifted more than I have. He's bigger than me, actually. What am I saying? He'd probably fucking turn Lord around. That's going to be a hard smash.
Starting point is 00:42:26 Yeah. All right. Then this one's a follow-up for Garrett. How much money would it take for you to let Morg do it? Oh, man. You're a demon. I want to see my boys drink today. I'm not playing.
Starting point is 00:42:39 Oh, man. I mean, I have a ballpark number. It's like I've thought about this before. I mean, I'm just saying like in my current financial position, there's not a lot of things. There's not a lot of things that 50 grand wouldn't solve. I'm sorry. And I'm just going to throw that number out there.
Starting point is 00:43:00 I never said specifically. Your mom is going to love that. Oh, God. And that's way too high of a number because you know 5Gs, you'd be like, they could do it. I'd debate it for five. Morgan would be sitting there like,
Starting point is 00:43:10 I'm going to do it for free. Yeah. I'd say $50,000. I'd pretty much let anything happen. Oh, shit. Let's see here. You got any more? Yeah, I got a couple more.
Starting point is 00:43:24 Okay. I'll go. Okay. If you were a stripper name, what would your stripper name be? Oh, that's literally my next one. Really? No, mine was give each person in the room a stripper name. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 00:43:36 I feel like I'd be like... You had it. Lil G Baby or something. Ooh, Lil G Baby. Now coming to the stage. Now coming to the stage now coming to the stage everyone's favorite twink g baby okay i might have to get into stripping morgan some good cash i had one for you oh you have one for morgan i i thought mean, it was something along the lines of like...
Starting point is 00:44:05 Big Bungie? The Gangly Mangly Down Under Thunder, something like that. Like the Jolly Green Giant, but not green. Yeah, not green. The not-so-green Jolly Green Giant. I think Jungle Bungie was okay. Jungle Bungle? Jungle Bungle?
Starting point is 00:44:19 The Jungle from Down Bungle? Oh, Jungle Bungle. Then you just walk out in a fucking cheetah. Tarzan. You walk out in a fucking ghillie suit. Yeah. The Jungle Bung. Jungle Bung.
Starting point is 00:44:31 I like that. I'll stick with that. I got one more. I think you just got to go Juicy J for you. Juicy J can't? Yeah. Juicy J can though for me. Yeah, Juicy J.
Starting point is 00:44:41 You say no to Ratchet Pussy, Juicy. No, you also can't. You can't. Yeah, Juicy J can't. Ju to Ratchet Pussy, Juicy. No, you also can't. You can't. Yeah, Juicy J. can't. Juicy J. just can't. He's incapable of saying no. I got one more. If each of us were a sex worker,
Starting point is 00:44:57 what would you pay for us to perform each service on you? Or simply, what do you think we'd be able to charge? Oh, what would you be capable of charging? If I'm out on the corner and someone pulls up in a car and is like, how much? And I say, what amount? Without them laughing and driving away. What the fuck?
Starting point is 00:45:18 Are you fucking high? Dude, Garrett's laughing at the bank on this one. Because they're like, it was a girl. I feel like I could charge a premium for sure. If I put on a wig, it's game over. I think you could get away with saying you're a virgin too. Yeah. Like sell your virginity.
Starting point is 00:45:35 I could say I'm like 18. Yeah. And then I'd be like, you're going to be the first to hit this. We should put that on the Patreon. Yeah. Garrett's virginity. We might have to fucking actually sell me. Add that to the link tree.
Starting point is 00:45:44 Yeah. Add that to the link tree. Okay. So. I mean, you wouldn't technically be able to take my ass virginity. We might have to fucking actually sell me. Add that to the link tree. Yeah, add that to the link tree. Okay, so... I mean, you wouldn't technically be able to take my ass virginity. Really? For a guy, so... I love how you bring it up. Why do you say technically?
Starting point is 00:45:56 No, let me rephrase. You would be able to... This is factually. Yes. I don't know, actually. Okay, how much do I think I can make? Yeah, how much do you think you can charge? For the full service.
Starting point is 00:46:08 Yeah, let's get the small ball stuff out of the way. Let's not break down the full menu, just full service. We're not talking lips and tips, okay? Like if I put my account on like the Vegas Yellow Pages. Yeah, or whatever. Full service. We're handing out fucking naked cards, pictures with your picture on them. And you're showing up and you're bussing some shit down.
Starting point is 00:46:26 I'm at least 500, dude. I feel like that's fair. 500 for the night? I get to cuddle with that? I feel like you have to... Your little spoon, though? How much for big spoon? It's not in the cards.
Starting point is 00:46:40 That's the one thing I won't do. It's not on the menu, sorry. No kissing and no big spoon you have to little spoon me no kissing because it's cheating on my boys I'm really disappointed I didn't get any drinks out of that I gotta be honest okay
Starting point is 00:46:59 what do most people think is true about you but isn't most people think I'm about you but isn't? Most people think I'm stupid. I'd say that's the biggest one for me. Yeah, I'd say that's a big one for you. This brain is huge. You come off fucking stupid. We say dumb shit. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:14 And then people are like, oh, you had a 4.0. That's crazy. Yeah. People probably think we're all pretty stupid. Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, we've given them- That is the biggest worry that my girlfriend has.
Starting point is 00:47:22 And we've given them a million reasons to believe it because of this show. Yeah. That is the biggest reason that my girlfriend has. And we've given them a million reasons to believe it because of this show. Yeah. That is the biggest reason that my girlfriend doesn't like this. She's like, people are going to think you're stupid. And I'm like, well, fuck them. We've given people 20 reasons this episode. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:35 What about you? Besides that? Besides, those are two good ones for me. I don't know. I honestly don't know what people think about me, to be honest. Yeah. Like, because I never, I don't ask. Like, I don't know. I don't, I honestly don't know what people think about me to be honest. Yeah. Like,
Starting point is 00:47:47 because I never, I don't ask. Like, I don't give a fuck. So, I'm never like, oh, when you first met me,
Starting point is 00:47:53 what did you, what was your first impression? Like, I don't give a shit. Well, people have recently thought me and you were gay. Oh,
Starting point is 00:47:59 yeah. Wow. In Tulum. In Tulum, yeah. Wait, wow. In Tulum,
Starting point is 00:48:03 this girl who doesn't speak any English, she slides her phone over to us, and it says, she had to go to Google Translate to type this out. She goes, you guys are actually the funniest people here, but you're in the closet.
Starting point is 00:48:15 No! How did I not hear about this? And we're just like, fuck. That is fucking ruthless. It was good. It was really good. Holy shit. And then that other dude tried to come on to you.
Starting point is 00:48:26 Yeah, yeah. So you were giving off some type of vibe. He didn't try to come on. He came on to you. Yeah, you touched my dick. That's a making a move. Yeah, he made a full move. That's a fucking checkmate right there.
Starting point is 00:48:37 That's something you guys might need to take a look into because that's twice in one weekend. True. I don't need to look into it. That's just the people that told us. That's not even just me. No, I'm saying you guys might need to explore the idea. True. I don't need to look into it. That's just the people that told us. That's not even just me. No, I'm saying you guys might need to explore the idea. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:49 Oh, yeah. We just got chemistry. Like if enough people say it, like maybe it's true. Like you don't knock it until you try it. Don't say it's not true until we're sure. Never say never in the words of Justin Bieber. And I'm not.
Starting point is 00:49:02 And I've never said never. Let's see what we got here here what's the most childish thing you still do i'm so excited for garrett's answer um the most childish fuck yeah uh fuck i mean shit there's a lot there's so many i can go first if you guys want to think i can think of like three for you why why why me because you do them to me like three times a day okay let's go i i i love i mean i love them for the first of all uh when you just airdrop random shit oh that's my shit when you airdrop it in public? The dog faces in the fucking airplane dude. I'll look at my phone back.
Starting point is 00:49:47 Dude, I'll be looking around the whole airplane's fucking bus and all this. Just waiting for someone to see it. What else we got? For you or for me? I'm trying to think for me. For me, I pick my nose a fair lot. Yeah, I was gonna say. Is that childish though? Who doesn't pick their nose?
Starting point is 00:50:04 Everybody picks their nose. I mean, I pick my nose like a childish amount though. Yeah, that's childish though? I feel like everyone... Who doesn't pick their nose? Everybody picks their nose in the party. I mean, I pick my nose like a childish amount though. Yeah, that's for sure. You're digging in there. Yeah. I've done it on this pod. And I also... True. Like, bite my fingernails and like, pick my toenails. Yeah, that's fucking gross. Oh, hold on. Can we rewind to the toenail thing? This motherfucker doesn't...
Starting point is 00:50:20 He's never clipped his toenails. We're in Tulum and up on the roof and he's picking his toenail, and not only does he pick it, he just drops it on the ground. We were outside. We were outside. We're on the roof. There was a strong wind.
Starting point is 00:50:33 There was air. The wind was blowing. We were outdoors, but we were inside. The wind was blowing. I tried to flick it away. It landed on my back. Somebody caught a toenail. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:40 Fucking in passing. For sure. That was tough to see. Dude, toenail clippers freak me the fuck out. I don't know what it is. You know what freaks me out? You fucking ripping your nails off. It's not a healthy habit.
Starting point is 00:50:51 Like a little goblin. Yeah, it is pretty gobbling. I usually don't do it in public, but like when you're- You usually don't do it in public? When we're in a house together for five straight days, I'm not going to sneak off to the bathroom to pull my toenails. When do you usually do it? Like in bed or something.
Starting point is 00:51:07 You telling me, I can promise you you've dropped something no i can guarantee just wakes up with a little pile on i'm not gonna lie i have woken up with a little pile on my nightstand speaking of that speaking of pile on your chest i am scared guess where this goes guess where this goes. Guess where this goes. He knows this one. Sometimes, you know, when you wake up in the morning and you're just sitting there and you're on your phone for like an hour, right? You're just laying in bed.
Starting point is 00:51:33 You've been through TikTok. You got to have a go. First thing I do, not first thing, but sometimes when you pick your nose. No. I don't want to flick it. No. No.
Starting point is 00:51:42 I don't want to like leave it in a pond and forget about it. I'll just kind of wipe it on my face. Oh. That is. And leave it there for the shower. That's grosser than. Because then you just shower it right off. No.
Starting point is 00:51:51 That's grosser than fucking anything I said. Yeah. That's by far. How dare you judge me. I will say that everything I've judged you for. Everything I've judged you for I've done worse. Yeah. So let's.
Starting point is 00:52:00 You just don't know about it. Let's pump the goddamn race. I'm going to play that on loop for the last hour of the episode. Just pile of boogers on my chest. Just pile of boogers on my chest. Pile of boogers on my chest. You wipe boogers on your own fucking chest. And in the mornings when it's like after you've been out skiing a little bit and you got a nice like honky blutter in there.
Starting point is 00:52:16 Goods and services. Goods and services. Yeah, some goods and services. It's a gross scene. Dude, that's – yeah, I've woken up to like a murder scene on my nightstand with just like bloody fucking paper towels and shit. Oh, yeah. Just blowing out the worst shit.
Starting point is 00:52:28 I mean, the real solution to this problem is a simple one. Yeah. Get a box of tissues next year. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I mean, most people have that, but we're not that smart. Try and save the environment. Like, all my gross things that I do,
Starting point is 00:52:39 I'm just trying to help out. Yeah, right. One little thing. Like, I'm already going to shower, so why not just wipe them on myself? That's what I'm saying. Why not give myself a good reason to shower? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:48 I mean, I've definitely tossed, like, a morning beat and just let it ride and hopped in the shower. You just blast on yourself? That's how I do it. Is this news? You guys just blast on your own chest. Not always, but, like... Almost every time.
Starting point is 00:53:03 Do you, like, throw a hand up to make sure? I've hit myself before. You said chest, I thought you meant chin. No way! And then you just wipe it up. Or you hop in the shower. And you never wipe up... I never let it ride to the shower, I will say that. No, I mean
Starting point is 00:53:19 I get immediately into the shower. Okay. Immediately. Okay, after I make eggs. You tell me you never did a phone call after the shower. No way. Just cresting over. I would say. I don't know if these count as child. It's gotten just as disgusting.
Starting point is 00:53:34 These are just, what's the grossest fucker thing you do? Yeah, it's actually just gotten into sickening territory. Yeah, let's get off of this. Let's get off of this subject before we just get banned from every girl ever. What's the most embarrassing thing you've done while drunk? And fucking think about it. Yeah, shit my pants. I think we've all done that.
Starting point is 00:53:54 On a bus full of people. Really? In Mexico. Wow. Passed out, just full on shit. Like turd it out or just skid it out? Like fucking pancake in my pants. You pancaked out?
Starting point is 00:54:03 You paddy bottomed? I was passed out. You bottomed out?caked out patty bottomed i was passed out you bottomed out passed out in a fucking chair on a bus and i woke up to everyone just be like oh my fucking god what does that smell and i just tapped my buddy next to me i go i shit i'm not kidding they were like 250 true religion jeans i got home and threw them straight in the trash they were oh my because it like pancaked out oh you got home and threw them straight in the trash they were because it like pancaked out oh you can't wash that that's in the thread that's threaded out
Starting point is 00:54:29 you're just going to scrub that into the fibers yeah that coats threads yeah it was fucked up which brings has do you figure out your water butt from Tulum yet oh yeah yeah you're good you're back to solidification one night we were at the club you said you shit your pants three times.
Starting point is 00:54:47 Dude, I... And the waddle that backed it up wasn't like you were joking. I wasn't joking. I fucking drank some of the water on accident and then you're fucked. You just had a water bottom? Like if you drink Mexican water.
Starting point is 00:54:58 Yeah, it'll run right through you. Yeah, so I was just running for like the past two days or the last two days at Tulum. But my thought on this is how many times did you have to do it to where you were like, hey, if I feel it, I should just go? Like, I can't tough these out anymore. No, I had one solid, and then I was like, oh, we're good, and then no.
Starting point is 00:55:17 No, right back? No. All right. You couldn't fend off the fucking dam anymore? Most embarrassing thing? Most embarrassing thing I've done while drunk? I mean, definitely a lot of things, but I think shitting my pants tops it.
Starting point is 00:55:32 I think it depends on who you think it's most embarrassing. Because for me, like, the most embarrassing thing that I do is, like, if I'm drunk, I'll, like, think I'm way funnier than I am. And just be, like, I'll be going in and then I don't realize that everyone else in the room
Starting point is 00:55:47 is like, shut the fuck up. No, I want you to fucking think about this. Okay, okay. I'm thinking about it. Like I'm talking like mortifying shit. Even you fucking think more. I got mine. I mean, shitting my pants on a bus is pretty bad.
Starting point is 00:56:00 That's not that bad though. You can walk that off. I quite literally did not. Everyone was like, what the fuck? You can ask anyone who was there. To this day, they'll remember it. I'm talking about the shame wizard follows you for a couple days. I mean, that was up there. I was like the poopy
Starting point is 00:56:14 pants guy. Oh yeah, your butt. Butt bow prey? Booty bow prey. Anytime something smelled off, it was Garrett. Yeah. It was immediately my fault. Yeah. So one of mine is, I've done this a couple times and every time I just fucking beat my head against the desk afterwards, I'll fucking, it'll be like 3 a.m., and I'll just be in bed, and I'll text like 40 fucking, like 40 girls.
Starting point is 00:56:35 You be doing this. And my favorite is those girls will show me those texts. And it's just like so, and this is, drunk me will delete them all before sober me can see them and then you just wake up with some like responses what the fuck was that last night and I'm just like oh my god hide my fucking whole face
Starting point is 00:56:53 yeah I think there's not a lot more embarrassing than a drunk text because a lot of times people don't see it till they're sober the next morning so if you don't get a response right away it's immediately so embarrassing well yeah they don't see it till they're sober the next morning. So if you don't get a response right away, it's immediately so embarrassing. Well, yeah. They don't see it until they wake up.
Starting point is 00:57:08 They're just like, what is wrong with you? Yeah, and I'm not like a big drunk texter, but the times that I do it, it's just the whole phone book. I'm talking high school. Oh, God. Oh, so you're texting girls who don't even have a chance to like,
Starting point is 00:57:20 if they responded, I'd show up. Oh, my God. It's just a mood that I don't know how to curb it. I could tell you how to curb it. Stop deleting them and own the shame. No, there's been a couple. When you wake up and see them, you'll be like, oh yeah. No, I've seen a couple in there. Some of them work out.
Starting point is 00:57:36 No, but the rate has to be low. It's got to be the lowest turnover rate of all time. Another one is, this was like college. I was in like a group of girls and we were all sitting like a group of girls and a group of people. I'm not going to give myself that much credit.
Starting point is 00:57:51 Let's stop myself right there. And we're in like a tight knit somersault or what's like cross. Somersault. Everyone's somersaulting around. Just rolling around on the floor. We're in a tight knit circle. And I have on like tight
Starting point is 00:58:05 swim trunks that are like real tight and i just let out like the fucking tightest fart and it and everyone just like you know it gets like so quiet like holy shit it's so quiet they all just looked at me, and I was just like, yo. That's my bad. And one of the girls, bless her soul, she was like, it's all right. I'm used to it. I have a boyfriend. I was like, thank you, but I still need to go.
Starting point is 00:58:34 I need to go to bed. With the legs up, crisscross applesauce? Like the tightest fucking foot. That's so good. That is so good. Like, you know when you put a blade of grass between your hands and like in middle school when you blow through it like that kind of and it wasn't good that doesn't sound good i'm here's the problem i'm having right i delete these out of my brain hard yeah you have to because i'm the type of person that does shame wizard them oh Oh, yeah. I'll mull on something for weeks.
Starting point is 00:59:05 Oh, yeah. Every time I'm about to go to bed, it's like, oh, I can't believe you did that four weeks ago. Fucking brutal. Let's see. I think we got one last one here. If your life was a movie, what would the title be? Shut the fuck up.
Starting point is 00:59:24 That was so spot on the movie that never happens mine would be the comeback story that never happens just keep waiting for it starring The Rock Just keep waiting for it. Starring The Rock. Almost come back.
Starting point is 00:59:55 Mine might be something along like The Dumbest Smart Kid Ever. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Don'ts. Okay. Yeah. Wow. Sisterhood of the Traveling Don'ts cap. Okay. Yeah. Wow. Sisterhood of the traveling don'ts cap. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:08 You're just shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. And it's multifaceted. A trilogy. It's multifaceted too because it's like a series. It's a show on Netflix
Starting point is 01:00:19 that has so many it's got fucking eight seasons. Episodes daily. 20 episodes a season. There's multiple arms to it because it's like hey yo shut the fuck up. There's multiple arms to it because it's like, hey, yo,
Starting point is 01:00:26 shut the fuck up. And then like, sometimes it's like some of the shit that happens like, shut the fuck up. So that's for sure mine. Oh, fuck.
Starting point is 01:00:36 That was good shit. I like that. All right. I think that's it for, is this episode eight? This is episode eight. Okay. Episode eight in the books.
Starting point is 01:00:44 Be sure to follow us on all the socials, at FOMO Music with an underscore. And slam those likes, slam those reviews. Slam those reviews, yeah. If you review it, more people will see the show algorithmically. Even if it's one star, algorithmically. Morgz has been wearing the same glasses beanie combo for like three shows now.
Starting point is 01:01:01 He needs some money. He needs some cash. I'm trying to stay in character, dude. Yeah. Take the fucking top of that index, or thumb, I guess I would say. Yeah, yeah. Take your thumb. Smash that review. Also, do we want to tease? I know we talked about this, or I sent
Starting point is 01:01:13 a thing in the chat. We're going to do a live video of us doing the mute deaf blind challenge. Oh, that's a good one. Yeah. We should do that. Did you see that? No. So basically the challenge is one of us is blinded. One of us is muted, can't speak. And one of us has stuff in their ears so they can't hear.
Starting point is 01:01:30 And we have to try and make a meal. Oh, fuck. Yes, let's do that for sure. Yeah, we're going to do that. It should be bake a cake because we don't even know how to bake a cake. Yeah, we don't know how to bake a cake. No instructions either. Let's just go to the store and grab some ingredients.
Starting point is 01:01:41 We have to grocery shop mute, deaf, blind. We have to do all of it mute, deaf, blind. So blind or drive. So I'll just be be like one of us is running around just flower okay yes okay so look forward to that that might have to be like a full vlog or like a multi-parted like tiktok series um other than that fucking what's up bitches cut? Cut it. Cut it. Oh, but what else? So we got the FOMO say no to drugs, but the drugs aren't listening. Yeah, T-shirts still for sale. There's only like five left, so.
Starting point is 01:02:13 Yeah, it's at Vintage Vault Supply Company. On Instagram. On Instagram. Or there's a link tree in the bio. Yeah, you can find them there. And fucking tell your friends about this. Yeah, what's up? We're playing a boat party in Long Beach, April 3rd. If you can't make there and fucking tell your friends about this yeah what's up we're playing a boat party in Long Beach
Starting point is 01:02:26 April 3rd if you can't make it to Miami you're not going to be in Miami for the 26th show and other than that just stay blessed out here Kings and Queens let's evolve together
Starting point is 01:02:34 let's evolve together FOMO Sapiens we'll catch you next week

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