NO FOMO - 7. Grandma’s House
Episode Date: March 25, 2022Welcome Back Fomo Sapiens. This week we get into some of Bidens Babblings, go to Grandma's house, and decipher some next level riddles. Let's Evolve Together, NO FOMO. To Submit to the Show message us... on Instagram linked below! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fomomusic_/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/fomomusic_ Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/6K4rA9ocjtIaTOEVZ4N6dX?si=Gqh12elJQYO_zfRaW-Q9Lw&nd=1 Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/wearefomomusic
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Boys, boys, boys, what's going on?
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to No FOMO.
We are back with episode seven, I believe.
This will be eight.
This will be eight.
Yeah, this is 8.2.
8.2, yeah.
Refresh.
We had eight X.
A little re-record.
The last one, we were coming off a pretty heavy bender,
so we decided we're just going to re-record the whole thing.
Yeah, our brains were way less functional than usual.
Yeah, we thought we had it.
Yeah, we're usually running on E,
so I don't even know what you call this.
What's less than zero of a tank?
Pushing the car into the station.
We were getting AAA towed to the gas station last episode.
FOMO News, we are going to be in Miami for Miami Music Week.
Oh, shit. This coming Saturday, the 26th of March. FOMO news we are going to be in Miami for Miami Music Week oh shit
this coming Saturday
the 26th of March
our Miami debut
we're playing
Nitty and Friends
Showcase
can't wait
super stoked on that
other than that
we've got some
merch for sale
if you want to
check out the
Say No to Drugs
tees
those are
in the link
in our biography
yeah we'll put a
fucking picture up there
yeah we'll slap up a pic
it's the D.A.R.E. shirt but instead of D.A.R.E., it's FOMO.
And it's, yeah.
It's pro.
We do.
We're pro drugs.
Yeah.
Other than that, boys, what's popping?
I just got a couple quick ones.
I want to do a quick shout-out to a TikTok trend that I've been seeing.
Just, you know, with the algorithm and everything,
they found a workaround to showing some tits on there.
Oh, really?
There's tits on there.
If you are breastfeeding on the talk, you can slip anything you want.
So there's just some big old bitties in there.
And if you can kind of block off on the screen the little baby going,
The baby's head?
It gets it done for you.
It's just a good time.
What exactly does it get done for you, Jay?
I mean, it's what you want to see on TikTok anyway.
It's what we're all envisioning
when we see those dances or whatever, those trends.
So it's just, it's a great workaround.
I'm glad we figured it out.
Is there like a hashtag
where the boys should be looking up to find this or something?
I mean, I'm...
Just hashtag breastfeeding?
I'm sure you could type in breastfeeding.
No, I'm going to have to hit up Craigslist for this,
see if anybody needs one for it.
Craigslist?
Yeah, I'll breastfeed if you need one.
Like if anyone needs a...
For the talk? You will be the next. I'll feed up if you need one like if anyone needs it for the talk
i'll feed up oh you won't be the baby let me be let me feed on your feed oh i wonder if that would
actually work let me feed on your feed baby baby professional feed feeder i will feed on your feed
wow i promise all right so we're cutting that we're leaving and then uh and then beyond that
um i mean i'm a slut for any sort of gear.
So I had our friends over at Haircraft give me one half-used thing of hair gel.
Fuck yeah.
So I'm giving them a plug, baby.
That's all.
You send me anything and I'll throw your shit down.
So Haircraft, the boys, they got the shit.
Haircraft, Haircraft.
Ever thought about crafting?
Look at all the flows today except for Morg.
Never look at his.
I mean, that shit's ripping.
Yeah.
I mean, shout out to Haircraft, the absolute boys.
Yeah.
If you need to craft.
I didn't get any product, so we're cutting my portion of the industry. Like I said, it's just for me. You send me anything, I mean, that shit's ripping. Yeah. I mean, shout out to Haircraft, the absolute boys. Yeah, if you need to crush it. I didn't get any product, so we're cutting my portion of the endorsement.
Like I said, it's just for me. You send me anything, I'll plug it.
My portion of the endorsement's getting cut. You send me a fucking
sticker. Until I get it.
Okay.
Are we, we're boosting the Kings?
I thought we were ripping
you apart. Okay, we're gonna start by,
we're bringing back Fuck FOMO.
It's how it's gonna go yeah so i
don't know if anyone who's watching this even knows but back during quarantine we were doing
a segment called fuck fomo fridays where we would just roast we would have people send in roasts of
us we'd post pictures and we're bringing it back it's coming back because the kids heads are getting
a little too big i think it's time to to really level us out yeah yeah we dropped some big views
on tiktok and then and we think we're this we think we're hot shit, but we're not, you know?
So I'm going to throw the pictures up.
Yeah, where are they?
Let's see.
What do you guys want to do first?
I want the hat one.
The prom one is just fucking awesome.
The prom hat.
The prom hat?
Yeah.
Fucking shit Christ.
So for those of you that are just listening this is my is this freshman prom yeah freshman
formal picture i have a fucking hat on that's the fucking weakest fit and first of all you don't
just have a hat on you have is that hat that doesn't match the color you're wearing yes it's
got a lightning bolt on the top of it it It's electric. It's an electric sunglasses.
And it's, you didn't get that size correctly.
When you went to Lids, they sized a watermelon for the hell of your head.
It looks way too different.
Look at the shape of my head.
My favorite part about this picture isn't even the fit though.
Okay.
Okay, here's my favorite part about this picture.
Somehow, you accomplish the task of when there's multiple people taking a picture of you at the same time,
you're looking at both cameras at the same time.
Those eyes are looking at each way.
Which camera are we looking at?
And you go, I got this.
No problem.
Splits his fucking eyes in half.
Oh, yeah.
See, my right eye is definitely looking at this cam.
I'm looking forward cam.
And then every other camera.
I almost feel like your left eye is looking at this cam.
You're crossing.
You're crossing.
And then my other favorite part about it is that the smile that you have on
is that you're so happy that you were able to do it.
Just this little dumb smirk on your face like, oh, I got it.
Hack the system.
I've been training on this for fucking years.
Damn it.
What about that glistening ass forehead?
Yeah, why are you so shiny?
I'm shinier than a bitch.
Jesus Christ.
Dude, I was trying to figure out acne medicine back then,
and it just made my ass shiny. How'd you get your chin
so much closer to the camera than the rest of your head?
This is
fucked up. I take this whole segment back.
It's so good.
Please tell me your date
was wearing purple.
I'd say no.
I'd almost bet no.
I'd bet the fuck no.
Oh, it's the worst purple I've ever seen in my whole life.
But yeah, that's all I got for that.
And it's like the shitty fucking...
What's like satin checkered fucking vest?
Oh, yeah.
No jacket.
No jacket.
No, hell no.
Did you rent that or did you buy that?
Please tell me you bought that.
Rent to buy.
That's a TJ Maxx.
That's a clearance rack type purchase for sure. That's rent to buy. Rent to buy. That's a TJ Maxx. That's a clearance rack type purchase for sure.
That's rent to buy.
Rent to buy.
Rent to own.
All right, we want to go to the next one?
Hit the next one.
Okay.
I am sweating.
Now, the question I had about this one is...
Wait, so if you're just listening,
I have a shirt on that says where's my hose at
spelled h-o-s-e and there's firefight it's a silhouette of a firefighter and he's not even
holding a hose he's holding an axe yeah which is just a great shirt yeah but where my hose out
you literally thought you took the hottest picture of all time wearing that shirt with three girls
under on your arm dude and am i about to touch the ceiling with my fucking head jesus christ bro
he's got that same smirk on his face as the last with my fucking head jesus christ bro he's got
that same smirk on his face as the last picture except this time he's like oh it's so much it's
so much more relaxed because he only has to look at one camera yeah yeah he had it figured out this
time if there was two questions what was the circumstance of this because you've got these
girls are two of them are dressed up uh this is wearing a lei yeah so the one on the my rights
my ex-girlfriend she it's graduation is a graduation party why is the one on the my rights my ex-girlfriend she it's graduation is a graduation
party why is the one on the right so much closer and happier i don't know um also holy fucker egg
head oh that shit was egg you can never shave your head ever again no that's not the look oh
you had to fry that i almost get why you wore the hat to prom now oh dude my jaw didn't come in until this year
so yeah that was the big you were rounded the fuck out oh yeah this shit was fucked up
i had to shave my head because obviously something went wrong something went wrong
hold on a fucker second why your chin is above the lamp in that room
your head is actually touching the ceiling.
You're looking.
You can see the dead bugs collected in that lamp from the top.
I can see everything in that house.
That's on God.
All right, hit us with the next one.
Okay, let's see what we got.
I think this next one's my favorite also.
All these are my favorite.
What do you want?
Anything with Morgan in it.
Ultra or the Cal Poly one with the beanie?
Oh, the Cal Poly with the beanie is fucking dummy.
Jesus Christ. Oh, shit Cal Poly with the beanie is fucking dummy. Jesus Christ.
Oh, shit.
This is braces, Morgan.
So those listening and not looking at this,
Morgan has fucking the largest fake diamond earrings
I've ever seen in my life in his years.
Braces and a fucking Green Lantern beanie
and a Cal Poly jacket when he did not even go to Cal Poly.
Oh, I didn't even get in.
intern beanie and a Cal Poly jacket when he did not even go to Cal Poly.
Oh, I didn't even get in.
Now, I will take, I will like sever a little bit of the roast away from you on the beanie.
In high school, our friend group all got a set of beanies with different superheroes on them.
Okay.
So one of us had a Batman one.
I had a Superman one.
Someone had like a Captain America one.
And it wasn't cool.
Well, because in high school,
we still thought we were going to grow up
to have superpowers.
Is that what you were thinking in this picture?
Did you match the braces color
for this picture specifically?
Oh, yeah.
Or you chose green braces?
A point was on Tuesday
and then pictures on Friday.
So I had to go green on green on green.
Not the braces custom for this picture.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And this is the same girlfriend
right? Same girlfriend, yeah. Is this before
or after that last picture because she looks so much
sadder. And she also looks
about eight inches taller than the last picture
which I'm confused about. Oh, she would go through
spurts and peaks and valleys
with her height, yeah.
No, because I swear to God she didn't even come up to your hip
in the last photo. Yeah, shit
was weird in high school. That's all I can say.
Look at the hope in this picture.
It's like, oh, we're going to go to college together.
It's all going to work out.
Oh, my God.
I didn't even realize the subtext.
Can you imagine this, Borg?
I didn't even realize the subtext of this.
You guys totally took this picture like, oh, we both applied.
We're going to get in.
We're totally going to get in and go together.
She got in, didn't she?
She went there, yeah.
She went to that school.
And I had better fucking grades.
This is horse shit.
That's fucked up.
All right, hit us with the next one.
This last one.
Is this the, we want the ultra pick?
Yeah, this is the.
This one's special.
Okay.
This one has too much good.
Break it down.
You want me to break it down?
Yeah, why don't you let the people know what's going on?
Okay, so I am at Ultra Music Festival 2013
or something like that.
And holy shit, I don't do drugs.
But if you did, you'd look a lot like that.
And it's hard to see, but if you zoom into my pinky finger,
I grew out my pinky nail for a reason.
I forgot you had the party nail.
Yeah.
The only note I had for this one is we've got the man bun and shaka up, bro.
Man shaka.
I mean, can you do a worse thing?
I got to Miami once and just turns into a completely different human being.
Yeah, it's crazy.
To give a light transition to hype my boy up, looking kind of cut in this one.
Yeah, looking a little bit stuck.
If I were flexing, it would be done.
If you didn't have the man bun, you'd just look like you're there to party
and don't look like a complete tool bag.
Yeah, but I do.
But you have a man bun.
Yeah.
I already missed the giant fake earrings
on this picture, though.
Yeah.
I got used to it in the last one.
That would have completed the shit out of it.
Those are a personality trait.
That would have completed the shit out of this one.
I'll never forget when you got those
and we were roasting and he was like,
the bitches like them, dude.
Yeah, the hoes.
The hoes like them, dude.
We're in freaking high school, 17. He's like, the bitches like them, dude. Yeah, the hoes. The hoes like them, dude. We're in freaking high school, 17.
He's like, the hoes like them.
I'm like, who?
Where are they at?
They're roasting you right now.
Lost my virginity senior year,
so that's how that went.
As soon as the earrings came out,
everything started coming together.
No, they were in.
They stay on during sex.
Okay.
All right.
So, okay, were you going to boost me up up now or how is this working now we're just
skipping no that was a trick segment we're not doing that we put that segment in there to make
you think that it was all gonna be okay after but it ain't it ain't okay we got a new fucking
special ass segment here biden's babbles yes this is what we're going to do. We've collected some of the most
legendary, unspeakable,
untranslatable
Biden quotes. No, they're
speakable. You just have no idea what the fuck they are.
He spoke them. So
we're going to pull up these Biden quotes and try to
fucking figure out what the fuck's going on. No context at all.
Not only that, I think a nice little
side piece of this would be to try to figure
out what he was asked. Yeah, the question would be fun. What was he asked piece of this would be to try to figure out what he was asked.
Yeah, the question would be fun. What was he asked to give this answer?
The question would be fun as well.
So what was he asked?
What does it mean?
What was the response?
What is going on?
What is a response?
What the fuck is going on?
Okay, we're going to play it.
We got them all loaded up here.
We got the audio.
All right, here we go.
One of the reasons why I decided to talk about the need to deal with the operation and the gouging that occurs in some of the pricing of beef and chicken and other things is that that's why I think that's why I indicated you were going to look at whether or not there's a violation of antitrust laws and what they're doing.
Okay, so what was the question?
Whoa.
The question was— Was it beef and chicken related?
What do you have for breakfast?
What's your daily breakfast meal?
What are your thoughts on the $1 hike of the dollar menu at McDonald's?
Yes.
That was the question.
We got it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
So he went from, how the fuck did that start when he got to beef and chicken?
The price, the gouge, it wasn't the price.
It was just the gouging of beef and chicken.
I don't know if we're talking about the industry, how we're cutting them up.
How we're slaughtering animals.
We're gouging beef and chicken.
Yeah, that one, I think he was asked what's for breakfast.
What's for dinner later.
Yeah, what's for dinner later, and that's what we got.
Okay, and then we've got to replay that again.
Play it one more time.
Yeah, let's play it again here.
Play it from the top.
of here. Play it one more time. Yeah, let's play it again here. Play it from the top.
One of the reasons why I decided to talk about the need to deal with
the operation
and the gouging that occurs in some of the pricing of beef
and chicken and other things is that that's why I think
that's why I indicated to you we're going to look at whether or not
there's a violation of antitrust laws and what they're doing.
Oh, this is big trust beef.
Yeah.
I guess there was some homework that we were supposed to do in that question.
He said that we were going to look at.
We need to look something up.
We were going to look into it.
We had to do some research and we didn't do it. Yeah. And we asked the question and he was like, you were going to look at. We need to look something up. We were going to look into it. We had to do some research and we didn't do it.
And we asked the question and he was like,
you were supposed to look this up.
This is on you.
You need to have some pre-knowledge coming in.
Yeah, how did you know?
Okay, so he goes,
the beef and chicken pricing having to do with big trust laws?
Anti-trust laws.
Anti-trust laws.
Are there anti-trust laws for beef?
There are.
That's a real thing.
That's a thing?
Don't trust beef.
Don't trust chicken.
That's big trust, don't trust.
Yeah, I don't.
On this week's episode of Big Trust, No Trust.
I have no fucking clue.
So yeah, I'd say we're 0 for 2 on that one.
Maybe fire us off on the next one.
Okay, yeah, that one was easy.
That one.
Okay, here we go.
How many times do you see people pulling up to McDonald's sitting outside during the pandemic
so they could do their homework
because they can get off of their line?
Wow.
Wow.
First of all-
Okay, wait.
If you see the freeze frame of this one
and you see this lady,
one of my favorite things that I found out
through finding these clips,
there's an Australian news
thing that rips him to shreds
the entire time. Their whole thing
is they have a Biden's ballot. They have this
segment. We stole it from them almost. Oh, really?
And they just go, this week, Joe Biden,
oh my God.
And they just play a clip. I know what the
question was. They asked him
How many times
do you see people pulling up to mcdonald's sitting outside
during this they asked him this is the question he just repeated the question
he asked the question
okay that was the question how that was the question do you see people sitting outside
of mcdonald's in their line. Yeah, in their own line.
Dude, I might have to
pull up to McDonald's
and do some homework
just to fucking
get on his side.
I gotta understand.
During the pandemic, though.
This was during the pandemic.
Not just regularly
because that happens
all the time normally.
That's a standard practice.
Get off their line?
Homie, we got Wi-Fi, my boy.
They're trying to use
McDonald's Wi-Fi
in the drive-thru line.
Does McDonald's even have Wi-Fi?
I don't think so.
It's not...
They don't have like
a Starbucks situation
where there's people in there doing work and shit.
Someone's working on the worst group labels.
There is Wi-Fi, but it's not for people outside.
Someone's writing their fucking novel
inside a McDonald's.
If you need a code to get into the bathroom
in McDonald's, they don't have free Wi-Fi.
No, fuck no.
They don't want you hanging out there.
I don't even think,
you rarely even see people dining in at a McDonald's.
It's like not a place,
if they don't have a drive-thru,
like I'm not going. It's a sad day if you dining in at a McDonald's. It's like not a place. If they don't have a drive-thru, like I'm not going.
Oh, the vibe is so off.
It's a sad day if you're eating in at McDonald's.
Oh, yeah.
If you order and you say for here.
I've had a couple of hungovers.
I don't even think they ask you for here to go.
They're like, get the fuck out.
They throw you the bag and say, figure it out, you trough.
You actually have to wait in your car outside,
even though you ordered at the counter.
So what did they say?
I don't think there's something to say about that two for
two that's easy dude what no what what did they respond i think next question who yeah whoever
asked him that question was like thank you mr president yeah what as an interviewer you're just
so thrown off i feel like you just got to be like thank you for that mr president holy shit give him a softer ball yeah okay that went there in the that went way
too hard we need to stop he said give him a softball okay clip three and the third thing is
last year alone 1.2 billion dollars in overtime was denied by our for hourly workers who are not unionized. 1.2 billion.
So you go ahead and you stack spaghetti sauce at a store and in a supermarket.
You control the guy or the woman who runs the run, brings out the carts on a forklift.
What happens?
They make you management.
You can't get paid overtime.
And you see it happen with labor as well.
So the bottom line is I'm for you because america needs you to grow we need okay holy fuck so first of all
they don't have forklifts in grocery stores first of all that's not how you bring in grocery cards
with a forklift they got a guy driving around the parking lot picking up the grocery cards with a
forklift i've never seen that i don't know what market he's
shopping at and then spaghetti that's some trader joe shit that's way too nice you can't even say
he has a slow brain because spaghetti sauce is just so high brow stacking spaghetti trillion
stacking spaghetti sauce is a store dude that's jesus christ and we're not over time we're not
talking about the people doing spaghetti sauce i love how by the end of it he thought he fucking
nailed it too he goes and that's why i'm for you we're like i about the people doing spaghetti sauce. I love how by the end of it, he thought he fucking nailed it too. He goes, and that's why I'm for you.
We're like, I don't even know what you said, my guy.
It's so loud.
This is the NRA lobby.
Everyone's screaming, what's so loud?
He's like, it's cheering.
Yeah.
Wait, what?
What?
What?
Holy shit.
It's a dream, dude.
These are easy.
So that was him like in a debate or like a town hall like trying to –
this was like pre him getting elected, I think.
Yeah, that was –
He was like – by the end, he's just, I fucking nailed that.
Boom.
That's why I'm your next president.
I will say this.
We haven't given these a long enough run to hear the pause
and the point where there would be a pause.
There isn't.
I've seen the whole video.
Trust me.
Sure not.
It's a lot of,
what?
Honey, what did he say?
The guy in his ear is just like,
yes, yes, yes, Mr. President.
I hope there's such a delay in his earpiece
that he's hearing skips around.
He's like, wait, spaghetti sauce?
Spaghetti sauce, spaghetti sauce.
Forklift.
What?
He's trying to keep up and just merges it all into one sentence.
Yeah.
Run the next one.
Picking up forklifts with spaghetti sauce.
I think this one's my favorite one if I remember right.
Okay.
I got a lot of it.
I got hairy legs that turn blonde in the sun.
And the kids used to come up and reach in the pool and rub my leg down
so it was straight and then watch the hair
come back up again.
They'd look at it. So I learned about
roaches. I learned about kids jumping on my lap.
And I've loved kids
jumping on my lap.
This is an all-time one.
This one's so fucked up.
This one is so fucked up.
It's taken more than 100 years.
So you can almost understand.
That helps for sure.
It was at least in control of that.
What was he asked about?
Because he finishes it with,
so I've learned about roaches.
And I've learned about kids jumping on my lap.
So was that the question?
And I've loved kids jumping on my lap.
Mr. President, what do you know about bugs and children?
No, the question is, what color does your leg hair turn in the sun?
No, he didn't say hair.
He said legs.
No, his legs.
Yeah, he was talking about the hair, but he said my legs turn blonde in the sun.
Yeah, so that was the question for sure.
What color do your leg hair turn in the sun?
Yeah, that's a good question.
Nailed the first part.
He is all gray.
Is there any question that his hair is any different color? Does your leg hair turn gray? That's a good question. Nailed the first part. He is all gray. Is there any question that his hair is any different color?
Does your leg hair turn gray?
For him, it do.
Yeah, it do.
Yeah, I feel like it does.
So when then he was in the pool and they would brush the hair down.
The kids would brush down his leg hair in the pool.
So my question for the scenario is, is this when he was a kid?
No, that's so weird.
It had to have been his kid that did it.
Yeah, no.
The only way that's not the creepiest thing ever is his own children.
I don't think it was.
I don't think he has children.
He does.
He does?
Yeah.
Hunter Biden, dude.
The fucking cocaine cowboy.
Oh, the cowboy.
Oh, my God.
The fucking crack man.
So and then roaches?
What was the roaches?
He knows about them.
That's what we know.
He knows about them. Yeah, where did that come from? I have leg hair and roaches are my boys roaches he knows about him that's what he knows about him
i have leg hair and roaches are my boys and boys sit on my lap and he loves it
biden that was 2024 i'll tell you i'm in it's low-key so creepy yeah low-key that's the biggest
key i've learned about kids jumping on my lap and i've loved kids jumping on my lap
through the years it's just grown into a love for him it's started as like all right fine whatever That's the biggest key. I've learned about kids jumping on my lap, and I've loved kids jumping on my lap.
Through the years, it's just grown into a love for him.
It started as like, all right, fine, whatever.
But now it's like, fuck yes. Now I'm used to it, and now I love it.
Now I love it.
Little boys jumping on my lap.
The eye contact for me.
Those are good.
Those are easy.
Those are good.
Those are so easy to decipher.
Now, I would say you probably could use,
like someone should study into this and get like a Rosetta Stone sort of deal going on.
Yeah.
Like someone should learn.
Have a separate dictionary for him.
Biden linguistics.
Rosetta Stone.
Rosetta Stone.
He's got his own language for sure.
Rosetta Stone, yeah.
Because he could have been talking about
a serious political issue that whole time.
We didn't even get that context.
I would love for each one of those questions
or answers to be for the same question,
just at different rallies.
They easily could have been, too.
They're just like, what do you love about Ohio?
And he's just like, spaghetti sauce in the store.
Forklifts with golf carts.
Maybe it's like a secret message, like leg hair is like taxes.
Yeah, that's what I'm thinking.
Or you think it's a cry for help?
If you break this down and use a key that he's given out.
If you play it in reverse, it's like, please help me.
Please help me.
He's in the sunken place.
Yeah.
That's next week's.
He's being used as a meat puppet.
And we see if it makes more sense.
He's being used as a meat puppet for the liberal agenda.
If we play that in reverse, it'd be fucking clear as day.
Yeah.
He's just talking about it.
He's like, I'm going to reduce taxes.
I'm going to fuck.
I have a very deliberate plan.
This is how it's going to go down have a very deliberate plan. This is how
it's going to go down.
Those are my fave.
Okay.
We're right into Philosopher's Tale.
Don't look at my shit, dude.
I'm not looking.
I'm not looking.
That might have been your best one.
Nailed it.
That was good.
Nailed it.
Give me some sauce.
Give me some spaghetti sauce, dude.
Give me some spaghetti sauce.
Stack it on the forklift.
Stack it right on there.
Bring it on the forklift.
Okay.
The female version of a cock block.
Go.
So my first one here, I'd state a lot of sports references on mine.
First one I got is boxing out.
It's just a really good boxing out.
Boxing out.
Download your love.
Boxing out.
Okay.
Beaver blocked.
Okay, solid.
Pussy protector.
Okay.
I'd state offensive here.
Offensive clitorference.
Oh, I like the sports, dude.
Pie plugged.
Pie plugged.
The meat wallet watcher.
Meat wallet.
She meat wallet watched me.
Taco Blocko.
Oh, sleeve screen.
I couldn't figure out a way to get this one.
Just go.
Keep going.
Okay. I got another one.
Submarine the Bean.
Crease Check.
Crease Check.
Burden on the Beef Curtains.
Ooh, she burdened those beef curtains.
So sorry.
Socket Stopped.
Socket stopped. Socket stopped.
Penis fly trap slap.
Penis fly trap flapped me.
Penis fly trap is actually just solid.
I got penis fly trap?
That's a guy version.
That's what you get tricked in.
You got some?
No, no no uh socket stopped
okay okay yeah yeah yeah i got uh this one i had to go way deep no guys for the whispering eye
oh but did she get clam clamped? Clam clamped. I only got one more here
and I'm out.
Muff cuff.
Wallet walled.
Wallet?
The wall...
Which one is...
The wall is the best.
Wallet walled?
They built a fucking brick wall
in front of that wallet?
I got a couple more
just because they're fun.
She stalled.
She stalled?
Just stalled it.
She didn't actually block this one.
She just put it.
This one was like maybe on the next date.
Yeah.
Oh, cookie curbed.
Cookie curbed.
Curbed cookie.
I like that.
Crumble.
Cookie crumble.
Yeah.
Snatch patched.
Snatch patched.
Snatch patched is good.
That's good.
That's good.
That's good.
That's good.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Here we go.
Things you could say at grandma's house and also during sex.
Where's the milk?
Hey, grandma, get your ass in here.
This was just a one-liner for me.
Bingo.
Happy birthday, grandma.
Is this cookie freshly baked where's grandpa oh i actually have that one you have that one oh fuck can we have something other than cream pie for dessert
grandma oh god uh You want to go?
Fuck, hold on.
Just go.
Okay, I got one.
Okay, put your dentures back in now.
You're sick.
I told you I had a tough time not making you disgusting.
You're the best grandma a grandson could ever ask for. You're just sick.
I got one off that.
Grandma, what are you doing?
How much time do we have till Grandpa gets back?
Yours are sick.
They're also with me in there.
I got another one here.
It's okay.
It doesn't matter if you remember my name.
Oh, you're dark as shit.
It's okay. It doesn't matter if you remember my name. Oh, you're darkish. Okay, here we go here.
Those ones are...
I knew we were going to go dirty on them,
like really dirty,
but I thought I was going to be the only one.
I was really glad you met.
Morg met you, right?
I had to have grandma there with me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Grandma was participating in every one of those.
Okay.
Little sub-segment here.
Dumbledore's debates.
Me and Jay actually went in on this one.
It's a little trend going on right now.
Are there more fucking doors or wheels on the planet?
This one's an easy one for me.
We debated this one, so I want to hear your opinion, Gary.
Okay.
This one's an easy one for me.
We debated this one, so I want to hear your opinion, Garrett.
Okay.
It's tough because you're looking at multiple doors per household or even in like an apartment or something.
Correct, correct.
They're like cabinet doors in Shake Count.
Yes.
Okay, so I'm going to...
Those count?
Yes.
I'm going doors because...
No, no, no.
It's not a door because it has to be...
No, no, no.
I looked up.
You're wrong on this one.
I feel like it should be something you have to walk through.
No, it has to be... Cabinet doors count. It's a location to location. No, it, no. I looked up. You're wrong on this one. I feel like it should be something you have to walk through. No, it has to be a cabinet doors count.
It's a location to location.
No, it's not.
You don't call it a covered door.
You can pass through.
You're saying to pass through, you reach through the door.
No, it's just called a cabinet.
You don't call it a door.
Cabinet door.
It's a cabinet door.
Is it?
Yeah.
Okay, we'll count that.
Even despite that, you're wrong.
But keep going.
Oh, I'm still wrong?
Yeah, absolutely.
It's not doors not a
shot well there's no there's no right answer but we're gonna figure it out well i'm hard team wheels
so i'm just telling you you're wrong okay okay okay my my perspective is that in this house there's
fucking 20 30 doors right and between all the people that live here there's maybe three cars
so you got 12 wheels. No.
Well, here's the thing.
You got to cancel out cars completely
because you've got doors on cars and wheels on cars.
Oh, there's four doors on every car too.
Yeah, that's a wash.
It's got to be wheels.
Okay, but here's wheels.
Here's why there's wheels.
Think about a factory where they slide like the packages,
all of those little tiny wheels.
Those are all counting like in machines? Every wheel. Okay. okay yeah think of how many wheels it makes to make skates
okay wheels here's why houses are even a wash because that's like the biggest argument for
doors right yeah office chair you got six wheels per there's like four in this house so fair
that's facts and okay so like a conveyor belt do those wheels count i mean that's what
those are those are belts though you know okay yeah but the ones that are just the wheels that
they slide but you would say we got to fix the wheels on the conveyor belt i mean if it has
wheels yeah but those aren't as many i feel like no think about the ones that roll yeah that's what
i'm saying the rolly ones yeah those are a fuck ton of wheels yeah so we're going wheels 100
shopping carts yeah just a shit ton of shopping carts Yeah. So we're going wheels 100%. Shopping carts. Yeah.
There's a shit ton of shopping carts, dude.
It's just because wheels are so much smaller.
Like, there's going to be more of them.
Well, no, so here's the argument for some of the doors.
You got, like, dollhouses.
Yeah, but there's not that.
There's not that many.
No.
Okay, so if you break it down by house.
Hot wheels.
Because houses are going to be the most potent thing.
But that's, so that's my argument.
Even, like, say the Empire State Building, right?
How many fucking buildings? Or whatever fucking giant skyscraper doors are in there think about how many office chairs are in that bitch true oh at least one in every office
fuck dude you're on like for every door there's like six wheels in an office yeah okay so if you
go by house yeah it's what so like 20 doors in here and then three office chairs so that's 18 yeah we're call
it a wash and then you got a suitcase with some wheels on it you got it's it's team wheels it's
gotta be wheels it's hot wheels because i think about even in the dishwasher there's like wheels
to fucking slide in and out there's just so many wheels we're rolling we're rolling we're rolling
gotta roll yeah i think we're team wheels. It's gotta be wheels. Honestly, if you're team doors, get the fuck out.
Yeah.
Get the fuck out.
Get the fuck out.
Walk out the door right now.
Yeah, walk out of your fucking door and then stay out.
We don't want to knock on the team doors, but...
No, fuck team doors.
You're just wrong.
Fuck team doors.
I'll say it.
We don't want to knock team doors.
I'll lose a fan.
Fuck team doors.
No one got that?
Stop, stop, stop.
No one got that?
Not to knock team doors.
We don't want to knock on team doors. We don't want to knock on team doors.
We don't want to ding-dong bitch doors.
I got one of those for you.
Okay.
Father.
This is just a question for you guys.
Do you think there are more combinations
of how a deck of cards can be shuffled
or atoms in the universe?
I mean, there's an answer to this, right? Yep. I mean, we know the answer to this. It has to be atoms in the universe? I mean, it's... There's an answer to this, right?
Yep.
I mean, we know the answer to this.
It has to be atoms in the universe.
Atoms?
Atoms.
It has to be atoms.
It is not.
Wow.
There are more permutations of how a deck of cards can be shuffled
than there are atoms in the universe.
More than there are stars in the sky.
I don't believe that.
Well, because it has to be 52 to the 52nd, right?
52 to the 52.
It's 52 factorial, right? And then atoms in the universe is something like 10 to the sky. I don't believe that. Well, because it has to be 52 to the 52nd, right? 52 to the 52. It's 52 factorial, right?
And then atoms in the universe is something like 10 to the 78.
But there's...
A star has a shit ton of atoms, though.
So, I understand that.
Okay.
There's no way.
I feel like there's more atoms in your...
Look it up!
More atoms in just Earth than fucking...
Wait, are there atoms in a cell?
Is that how they break down?
Or is a cell a cell a cell?
A cell is a cell is a cell.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Are there atoms in cells?
I don't...
Yeah, I don't know about that.
Like, are there protons in a molecule?
I am telling you...
I am telling you what is a fact.
Oh, that's a fact?
It's a fact.
It's not up for debate.
Like, in the entire universe.
In the entire universe,
there are more permutations of a deck of cards than there are in our galaxy in the entire universe that being said this might be galaxy it
might be galaxy what about i'm not sure about galaxy universe i might have got into multiverses
and then you know yeah i might have fucked that up and that being said this episode is sponsored by
who makes the deck of cards bicycle bicycle bicycle or just bicycles in general run us that
check bitch send me one card out of that deck,
and I will fucking promote you.
And I'll promote you.
He'll shuffle that.
Is that not fucking gnarly, though, to think about?
That's actually absurd.
So how many, what's the number?
52 to 52 factorial.
Like, what is the number?
Something quadrillion or something?
Think about how big it would have to be to be more than that.
It's one quadrillion.
It's 52 factorial, right?
Yeah.
One quadrillion, 512 trillion.
Shut the fuck up.
Factorial, I'm looking this up.
You won't even be
able to pronounce the number.
Oh, yeah. It's 8.0658
with the letter E.
67.
What does the letter E mean?
What does that mean? Exponent.
Okay.
To the 67th. To the 67th power.
Yeah.
That doesn't seem that big.
Garrett didn't pass that class.
Yeah, I did.
After the second time.
Okay.
Okay.
It's 80.
Wait, hold on.
It's about, I've never heard this word in my life.
80 unvigentillion.
That's how you know that's fat.
Is that not one of the terms for a cock block?
For a female cock block?
I got unvigentillioned.
I got unvigentillioned.
Unvigentillioned.
Holy shit.
That's fucking crazy.
Yeah, I can't really grasp that one.
Nope, that one's not going to work out. Okay. Another Philosopher's Stone sub-segment. Tom's fucking crazy. Yeah, I can't really grasp that one. Nope, that one's not going to work out. Okay.
Another Philosopher's Stone
sub-segment. Tom's Riddles.
Tom's Riddles. Okay.
I'm harder than clay,
but softer than metal.
I'm big and stupid, but I put the
pedal to the metal.
Vin Diesel.
The Rock?
Dwayne The Rock.
Let's go!
As soon as I heard pedal to metal, I was like, it's something for fast and the furious I know damn it that's good that
is good I'm a mammal but I'm completely
hairless I do many things but everyone
could care less is it me it's
I'm a man say that one again I'm a
mammal but I'm completely hairless.
I do many things, but everyone could care less.
A mole?
No.
Think.
I'm a mammal, but I'm hairless.
Doesn't have to be an animal.
Careless is the...
Something.
Careless, care...
I'm a mammal, but I'm completely hairless.
Wait, mammals have to have hair. So this think about it so i'm thinking it's not an animal because dolphins are mammals
it's not an animal do dolphins have hair i thought mammals have to have hair or they just have to
give live birth i don't fucking know shit about anything i'm a fucking idiot think about the last question. The Rock? It's Dwayne The Rock! Yes!
Let's go!
Oh, shit.
Okay.
You couldn't defeat me even with a knife.
I can't make a good movie
not even to save my life.
The Rock!
Dwayne The Rock!
Yes!
Fuck him.
Now,
did you come up with these
or did you Google
the Rock riddles?
I made those the fuck up.
You did not.
I swear on my whole fucking life.
Those are impressive.
Okay, this one's kind of like a challenge, a fun challenge.
Okay, look in the camera for this.
Okay, raise your eyebrows.
Do a grr face.
Now lower your eyebrows and flex your stomach at the same time.
Now everyone knows what it looks like when you take a shit.
Congrats, you played yourself.
I also thought of that.
You could have just asked me to do that.
Except mine's more like mouth wide open.
And just...
Fuck.
This guy just gets us every time. I had to all right we got truth or drink truth
or drink you guys are fucked me first yeah go ahead we should low-key come up with our like
sound bites for when we do these segments so we don't have to say it'll just be like truth or
drink yeah we do need yeah that's fair we'll do that make it a little we could do today make it
a little more professional yeah it'll have a big boom. Okay.
When's the last time you talked shit on the other two people in the room and what was it about?
I can't think of one.
Oh, I can think.
The other two people?
It doesn't have to be the same time.
Any of the other people?
I've smacked some gas on Garrett when he was dating his girlfriend
for sure.
Oh, that's the most recent?
Yeah.
Okay. Absolutely. So just most recent doesn't mean like sure. Oh, that's the most recent? Yeah. Okay.
Absolutely.
So just most recent doesn't mean like if you have recently.
Like the most recent.
Yeah, most recent.
For Morg?
I mean.
When I fucking walked in today.
In front of his face.
Yeah, right to his face.
What'd you say?
I forget.
Huh?
What'd you say?
I forget.
Probably something about you looking like a tall goblin bitch.
That's just mean.
I mean, we.
I'm going to drink just to fucking drink
the pain away.
We did just roast
the shit out of you
like 12 minutes ago.
Yeah,
what the fuck?
We just did it
for 10 minutes straight.
No,
you mean like sincere shit?
Sincere shit.
Oh,
like actual talking shit?
Not a lot.
Garrett's never been on time
in his whole fucking life.
A.
A.
That's pretty accurate.
Was that today?
Yes.
The line at Starbucks was fucking long.
Yeah, I tracked you there.
Jay, you're just soft as shit with a girlfriend.
Okay, okay.
I feel like you could have gotten worse.
Oh, no.
You're just an overthinker.
You're like I used to be, which is good to say.
He's changed.
Fuck.
I got one.
When was the last time you sent a dick pic,
and what pose did you go with?
I don't think I ever have in my life.
You need to think harder.
No, I really don't.
I haven't.
I can honestly say that.
Camera doesn't pick up that little pixels.
I've never had a high enough resolution camera.
Now that I have the iPhone 13 though, ladies, watch the fuck out.
Because that thing has some zoom on it.
The zoom's never been strong enough.
It's next level.
I think I've sent more soft dick pics than hard dick pics.
Really?
And what's the angle on that?
I look at it more of a funny thing. No, like literally, what angle
do you take a picture? Yeah, what was the pose?
It's more of like a funny thing
for me. It'll be like,
oh, this guy misses you or something like that.
Oh, man, because I'm just going to air out
your shit. You're a big time grower.
You are not a shower.
And it's still not that big of a grower no even though it grows a lot
it's still not it's a lot the law of conservation of energy and mass oh yes okay learn it okay but
when you lack the mass you can't create energy though right you can't just create mass
you're right it only gets so big yeah he's right when he's right he's right but let
me think about like a serious one no like you were trying to be like fucking sexy you're like
i need this i'm more interested in the pose did you go with a with the down the down at it did
you go with the or were you like did you try and fit the abs in with the from the back yeah were
you like laying down it's laying on you?
Did you go with the side?
I don't know if I've ever sent a dick pic to try to turn a girl on,
but I have an idea.
I mean, you sent them to me.
You're not a girl.
And we already knew you were turned on.
But for the...
Oh, shit.
For the male lingerie party that was supposedly happening...
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You sent them to me.
I had to put a banana in my pants.
You stuffed that, though. Oh, yeah. I put a put a banana in my pants. You stuffed that, though.
Oh, yeah.
I put a whole ass banana in my pants.
Yeah.
No, it's not stuffed.
It's a banana.
Yeah.
But that was like side flexing in the fucking body mirror.
Side flexing in the body mirror.
Let me think harder on this, though.
Well, Jay, what's your fucking answer, bitch?
I think the last one would probably be like high school.
And I think I went with the...
Oh, so none to the...
You went from the formanda?
Not from under, but from this direction
so you can fit in the abs, you know, too.
I would like to see...
Because I got to distract away.
I got to distract away from the little thumb.
Just from under with your face in it?
It's just my...
My face is blocked out directly vertical.
Arms are sticking out
the side of it though.
That'd be actually kind of sick.
G, you don't have any?
I've never sent one, honestly.
It's a good call.
Yeah.
It's always the right call.
Yeah, it's never,
it's just every time I've,
I've definitely taken them
and just been like, nope.
Yeah, that's not,
it's just not my game.
It just doesn't look,
I don't see how anyone
finds that attractive. Like I'm not, someone would have to beg not my game. It just doesn't look... I don't see how anyone finds that attractive.
Someone would have to beg me to do it for me to send it.
Just a soggy nacho fry?
Yeah.
Okay, you got me.
All right, we're all going to go take some.
Let's see what photos we get.
Okay, you got any?
What?
Truth or dream?
No.
I got another one.
This guy, dude.
I got another one.
I thought... I got another one. This guy, dude. I got another one. I thought...
I got one.
Morgue.
Smash or pass.
Eared sister.
Oh, shit.
You had to do that.
You had to do that.
Little Nat boobs.
It is hot in here.
I'm going to have to say...
Smash. All right. Follow up. It is hot in here. I'm going to have to say smash.
All right, follow up,
follow up, follow up.
What about his little brother?
Oh, I knew that was coming.
I fucking knew that was coming.
Shit.
You shouldn't have to think this long.
Could I handle all that?
He's too fragile for you, bro.
He's less fragile than you.
Dude, he's been lifted
more than I have.
He's bigger than me, actually.
What am I saying?
He'd probably fucking
turn Lord around.
That's going to be a hard smash.
Yeah.
All right.
Then this one's a follow-up for Garrett.
How much money would it take for you to let Morg do it?
Oh, man.
You're a demon.
I want to see my boys drink today.
I'm not playing.
Oh, man.
I mean, I have a ballpark number.
It's like I've thought about this before.
I mean, I'm just saying like in my current financial position,
there's not a lot of things.
There's not a lot of things that 50 grand wouldn't solve.
I'm sorry.
And I'm just going to throw that number out there.
I never said specifically.
Your mom is going to love that.
Oh, God.
And that's way too high of a number
because you know 5Gs, you'd be like,
they could do it.
I'd debate it for five.
Morgan would be sitting there like,
I'm going to do it for free.
Yeah.
I'd say $50,000.
I'd pretty much let anything happen.
Oh, shit.
Let's see here.
You got any more?
Yeah, I got a couple more.
Okay. I'll go.
Okay.
If you were a stripper name,
what would your stripper name be?
Oh, that's literally my next one.
Really?
No, mine was give each person in the room a stripper name.
Oh, shit.
I feel like I'd be like...
You had it.
Lil G Baby or something.
Ooh, Lil G Baby.
Now coming to the stage. Now coming to the stage now coming to the
stage everyone's favorite twink g baby okay i might have to get into stripping
morgan some good cash i had one for you
oh you have one for morgan i i thought mean, it was something along the lines of like...
Big Bungie?
The Gangly Mangly Down Under Thunder, something like that.
Like the Jolly Green Giant, but not green.
Yeah, not green.
The not-so-green Jolly Green Giant.
I think Jungle Bungie was okay.
Jungle Bungle?
Jungle Bungle?
The Jungle from Down Bungle?
Oh, Jungle Bungle.
Then you just walk out in a fucking cheetah.
Tarzan.
You walk out in a fucking ghillie suit.
Yeah.
The Jungle Bung.
Jungle Bung.
I like that.
I'll stick with that.
I got one more.
I think you just got to go Juicy J for you.
Juicy J can't?
Yeah.
Juicy J can though for me.
Yeah, Juicy J.
You say no to Ratchet Pussy, Juicy.
No, you also can't.
You can't. Yeah, Juicy J can't. Ju to Ratchet Pussy, Juicy. No, you also can't. You can't.
Yeah, Juicy J. can't.
Juicy J. just can't.
He's incapable of saying no.
I got one more.
If each of us were a sex worker,
what would you pay for us to perform each service on you?
Or simply, what do you think we'd be able to charge?
Oh, what would you be capable of charging?
If I'm out on the corner and someone pulls up in a car
and is like, how much?
And I say, what amount?
Without them laughing and driving away.
What the fuck?
Are you fucking high?
Dude, Garrett's laughing at the bank on this one.
Because they're like, it was a girl.
I feel like I could charge a premium for sure.
If I put on a wig, it's game over.
I think you could get away with saying you're a virgin too.
Yeah.
Like sell your virginity.
I could say I'm like 18.
Yeah.
And then I'd be like, you're going to be the first to hit this.
We should put that on the Patreon.
Yeah.
Garrett's virginity.
We might have to fucking actually sell me.
Add that to the link tree.
Yeah.
Add that to the link tree. Okay. So. I mean, you wouldn't technically be able to take my ass virginity. We might have to fucking actually sell me. Add that to the link tree. Yeah, add that to the link tree.
Okay, so...
I mean, you wouldn't technically be able to take my ass virginity.
Really?
For a guy, so...
I love how you bring it up.
Why do you say technically?
No, let me rephrase.
You would be able to...
This is factually.
Yes.
I don't know, actually.
Okay, how much do I think I can make?
Yeah, how much do you think you can charge?
For the full service.
Yeah, let's get the small ball stuff out of the way.
Let's not break down the full menu, just full service.
We're not talking lips and tips, okay?
Like if I put my account on like the Vegas Yellow Pages.
Yeah, or whatever.
Full service.
We're handing out fucking naked cards, pictures with your picture on them.
And you're showing up and you're bussing some shit down.
I'm at least 500, dude.
I feel like that's fair.
500 for the night?
I get to cuddle with that?
I feel like you have to...
Your little spoon, though?
How much for big spoon?
It's not in the cards.
That's the one thing I won't do.
It's not on the menu, sorry.
No kissing and no big spoon
you have to little spoon me
no kissing because it's cheating on my boys
I'm really disappointed I didn't get any drinks out of that
I gotta be honest
okay
what do most people think is true about you but isn't
most people think I'm about you but isn't?
Most people think I'm stupid.
I'd say that's the biggest one for me. Yeah, I'd say that's a big one for you.
This brain is huge.
You come off fucking stupid.
We say dumb shit.
Yeah.
And then people are like, oh, you had a 4.0.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
People probably think we're all pretty stupid.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
I mean, we've given them-
That is the biggest worry that my girlfriend has.
And we've given them a million reasons to believe it because of this show. Yeah. That is the biggest reason that my girlfriend has. And we've given them a million reasons to believe it
because of this show.
Yeah.
That is the biggest reason that my girlfriend doesn't like this.
She's like, people are going to think you're stupid.
And I'm like, well, fuck them.
We've given people 20 reasons this episode.
Yeah.
What about you?
Besides that?
Besides, those are two good ones for me.
I don't know.
I honestly don't know what people think about me, to be honest. Yeah. Like, because I never, I don't ask. Like, I don't know. I don't, I honestly don't know what people think about me
to be honest.
Yeah.
Like,
because I never,
I don't ask.
Like,
I don't give a fuck.
So,
I'm never like,
oh,
when you first met me,
what did you,
what was your first impression?
Like,
I don't give a shit.
Well,
people have recently
thought me and you were gay.
Oh,
yeah.
Wow.
In Tulum.
In Tulum,
yeah.
Wait,
wow.
In Tulum,
this girl who doesn't speak
any English,
she slides her phone over to us,
and it says,
she had to go to Google Translate to type this out.
She goes,
you guys are actually the funniest people here,
but you're in the closet.
No!
How did I not hear about this?
And we're just like, fuck.
That is fucking ruthless.
It was good.
It was really good.
Holy shit.
And then that other dude tried to come on to you.
Yeah, yeah.
So you were giving off some type of vibe.
He didn't try to come on.
He came on to you.
Yeah, you touched my dick.
That's a making a move.
Yeah, he made a full move.
That's a fucking checkmate right there.
That's something you guys might need to take a look into
because that's twice in one weekend.
True.
I don't need to look into it.
That's just the people that told us. That's not even just me. No, I'm saying you guys might need to explore the idea. True. I don't need to look into it. That's just the people that told us.
That's not even just me.
No, I'm saying you guys might need to explore the idea.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
We just got chemistry.
Like if enough people say it,
like maybe it's true.
Like you don't knock it until you try it.
Don't say it's not true until we're sure.
Never say never in the words of Justin Bieber.
And I'm not.
And I've never said never.
Let's see what we got here here what's the most childish thing you
still do i'm so excited for garrett's answer um the most childish fuck yeah uh fuck
i mean shit there's a lot there's so many i can go first if you guys want to think i can think of like
three for you why why why me because you do them to me like three times a day okay let's go i i i
love i mean i love them for the first of all uh when you just airdrop random shit oh that's my
shit when you airdrop it in public? The dog faces in the fucking airplane
dude. I'll look at my phone back.
Dude, I'll be looking around the whole airplane's fucking
bus and all this. Just waiting for someone to see it.
What else we got?
For you or for me?
I'm trying to think for me.
For me, I pick
my nose a fair lot. Yeah, I was gonna say.
Is that childish though? Who doesn't pick their nose?
Everybody picks their nose. I mean, I pick my nose like a childish amount though. Yeah, that's childish though? I feel like everyone... Who doesn't pick their nose? Everybody picks their nose in the party. I mean, I pick
my nose like a childish amount though.
Yeah, that's for sure. You're digging in there. Yeah. I've done it on
this pod. And I also... True.
Like, bite my fingernails and like, pick
my toenails. Yeah, that's fucking gross.
Oh, hold on. Can we
rewind to the toenail thing? This motherfucker doesn't...
He's never clipped his toenails.
We're in Tulum and up on
the roof and he's picking his toenail,
and not only does he pick it, he just drops it on the ground.
We were outside.
We were outside.
We're on the roof.
There was a strong wind.
There was air.
The wind was blowing.
We were outdoors, but we were inside.
The wind was blowing.
I tried to flick it away.
It landed on my back.
Somebody caught a toenail.
Yeah.
Fucking in passing.
For sure.
That was tough to see.
Dude, toenail clippers freak me the fuck out.
I don't know what it is.
You know what freaks me out?
You fucking ripping your nails off.
It's not a healthy habit.
Like a little goblin.
Yeah, it is pretty gobbling.
I usually don't do it in public, but like when you're-
You usually don't do it in public?
When we're in a house together for five straight days, I'm not going to sneak off to the bathroom
to pull my toenails.
When do you usually do it?
Like in bed or something.
You telling me, I can promise you you've dropped something no i can guarantee just wakes up with a little pile on
i'm not gonna lie i have woken up with a little pile on my nightstand speaking of that
speaking of pile on your chest
i am scared guess where this goes guess where this goes. Guess where this goes. He knows this one.
Sometimes, you know, when you wake up in the morning
and you're just sitting there
and you're on your phone for like an hour, right?
You're just laying in bed.
You've been through TikTok.
You got to have a go.
First thing I do, not first thing,
but sometimes when you pick your nose.
No.
I don't want to flick it.
No.
No.
I don't want to like leave it in a pond and forget about it.
I'll just kind of wipe it on my face.
Oh.
That is.
And leave it there for the shower.
That's grosser than.
Because then you just shower it right off.
No.
That's grosser than fucking anything I said.
Yeah.
That's by far.
How dare you judge me.
I will say that everything I've judged you for.
Everything I've judged you for I've done worse.
Yeah.
So let's.
You just don't know about it.
Let's pump the goddamn race.
I'm going to play that on loop for the last hour of the episode.
Just pile of boogers on my chest. Just pile of boogers on my chest.
Pile of boogers on my chest.
You wipe boogers on your own fucking chest.
And in the mornings when it's like after you've been out skiing a little bit
and you got a nice like honky blutter in there.
Goods and services.
Goods and services.
Yeah, some goods and services.
It's a gross scene.
Dude, that's – yeah, I've woken up to like a murder scene on my nightstand
with just like bloody fucking paper towels and shit.
Oh, yeah.
Just blowing out the worst shit.
I mean, the real solution to this problem is a simple one.
Yeah.
Get a box of tissues next year.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I mean, most people have that,
but we're not that smart.
Try and save the environment.
Like, all my gross things that I do,
I'm just trying to help out.
Yeah, right.
One little thing.
Like, I'm already going to shower,
so why not just wipe them on myself?
That's what I'm saying.
Why not give myself a good reason to shower?
Yeah.
I mean, I've definitely tossed, like, a morning beat
and just let it ride and hopped in the shower.
You just blast on yourself?
That's how I do it.
Is this news?
You guys just blast on your own chest.
Not always, but, like...
Almost every time.
Do you, like, throw a hand up to make sure?
I've hit myself before. You said chest,
I thought you meant chin.
No way!
And then you just wipe it up.
Or you hop in the shower.
And you never wipe up... I never let it ride
to the shower, I will say that. No, I mean
I get immediately into the shower. Okay.
Immediately. Okay, after I make eggs.
You tell me you never did a phone call after the shower.
No way.
Just cresting over.
I would say.
I don't know if these count as child.
It's gotten just as disgusting.
These are just, what's the grossest fucker thing you do?
Yeah, it's actually just gotten into sickening territory.
Yeah, let's get off of this.
Let's get off of this subject before we just get banned from every girl ever.
What's the most embarrassing thing you've done while drunk?
And fucking think about it.
Yeah, shit my pants.
I think we've all done that.
On a bus full of people.
Really?
In Mexico.
Wow.
Passed out, just full on shit.
Like turd it out or just skid it out?
Like fucking pancake in my pants.
You pancaked out?
You paddy bottomed?
I was passed out. You bottomed out?caked out patty bottomed i was passed out you
bottomed out passed out in a fucking chair on a bus and i woke up to everyone just be like oh my
fucking god what does that smell and i just tapped my buddy next to me i go i shit
i'm not kidding they were like 250 true religion jeans i got home and threw them straight in the
trash they were oh my because it like pancaked out oh you got home and threw them straight in the trash they were because it like pancaked
out oh you can't wash that that's in the thread
that's threaded out
you're just going to scrub that into the fibers
yeah that coats threads yeah it was fucked up
which brings has do you figure out your
water butt from Tulum yet
oh yeah yeah you're good
you're back to solidification
one night we were at the club
you said you shit your pants three times.
Dude, I...
And the waddle that backed it up
wasn't like you were joking.
I wasn't joking.
I fucking drank some of the water on accident
and then you're fucked.
You just had a water bottom?
Like if you drink Mexican water.
Yeah, it'll run right through you.
Yeah, so I was just running
for like the past two days
or the last two days at Tulum.
But my thought on this is how many times did you have to do it
to where you were like, hey, if I feel it, I should just go?
Like, I can't tough these out anymore.
No, I had one solid, and then I was like, oh, we're good, and then no.
No, right back?
No.
All right.
You couldn't fend off the fucking dam anymore?
Most embarrassing thing?
Most embarrassing thing I've done while drunk?
I mean, definitely a lot of things,
but I think shitting my pants tops it.
I think it depends on who you think it's most embarrassing.
Because for me,
like, the most embarrassing thing that I do
is, like, if I'm drunk,
I'll, like, think I'm way funnier than I am.
And just be, like,
I'll be going in
and then I don't realize that everyone else in the room
is like, shut the fuck up.
No, I want you to fucking think about this.
Okay, okay.
I'm thinking about it.
Like I'm talking like mortifying shit.
Even you fucking think more.
I got mine.
I mean, shitting my pants on a bus is pretty bad.
That's not that bad though.
You can walk that off.
I quite literally did not.
Everyone was like, what the fuck? You can ask
anyone who was there. To this day, they'll remember it.
I'm talking about the shame wizard follows you
for a couple days. I mean,
that was up there. I was like the poopy
pants guy. Oh yeah, your butt. Butt bow
prey? Booty bow prey. Anytime something
smelled off, it was Garrett. Yeah. It was immediately
my fault. Yeah. So
one of mine is, I've done this a couple
times and every time I just fucking beat my head against the desk afterwards,
I'll fucking, it'll be like 3 a.m., and I'll just be in bed,
and I'll text like 40 fucking, like 40 girls.
You be doing this.
And my favorite is those girls will show me those texts.
And it's just like so, and this is,
drunk me will delete them all before sober me can see them
and then you just wake up with some
like responses what the fuck was that
last night and I'm just like oh my god
hide my fucking whole face
yeah I think
there's not a lot more embarrassing than a drunk text
because a lot of times
people don't see it till they're sober the next morning
so if you don't get a response right away
it's immediately so embarrassing well yeah they don't see it till they're sober the next morning. So if you don't get a response right away, it's immediately so embarrassing.
Well, yeah.
They don't see it until they wake up.
They're just like, what is wrong with you?
Yeah, and I'm not like a big drunk texter,
but the times that I do it,
it's just the whole phone book.
I'm talking high school.
Oh, God.
Oh, so you're texting girls
who don't even have a chance to like,
if they responded, I'd show up.
Oh, my God.
It's just a mood that I don't know how to curb it.
I could tell you how to curb it. Stop
deleting them and own the shame.
No, there's been a couple. When you wake up and see them,
you'll be like, oh yeah. No, I've seen a couple in
there. Some of them work out.
No, but the rate
has to be low.
It's got to be the lowest turnover rate of all time.
Another one is, this was
like college.
I was in like a group of girls and we were all sitting like a group of girls
and a group of people.
I'm not going to give myself that much credit.
Let's stop myself right there.
And we're in like a tight knit somersault
or what's like cross.
Somersault.
Everyone's somersaulting around.
Just rolling around on the floor.
We're in a tight knit circle.
And I have on like tight
swim trunks that are like real tight and i just let out like the fucking tightest fart
and it and everyone just like you know it gets like so quiet like holy shit it's so quiet
they all just looked at me, and I was just like, yo.
That's my bad.
And one of the girls, bless her soul, she was like, it's all right.
I'm used to it.
I have a boyfriend.
I was like, thank you, but I still need to go.
I need to go to bed.
With the legs up, crisscross applesauce? Like the tightest fucking foot.
That's so good.
That is so good.
Like, you know when you put a blade of grass between your hands and like in middle school
when you blow through it like that kind of and it wasn't good that doesn't sound good
i'm here's the problem i'm having right i delete these out of my brain hard yeah you have to
because i'm the type of person that does shame wizard them oh Oh, yeah. I'll mull on something for weeks.
Oh, yeah.
Every time I'm about to go to bed, it's like,
oh, I can't believe you did that four weeks ago.
Fucking brutal.
Let's see.
I think we got one last one here.
If your life was a movie, what would the title be?
Shut the fuck up.
That was so spot on
the movie that never happens
mine would be
the comeback story that never happens
just keep waiting for it
starring The Rock Just keep waiting for it.
Starring The Rock.
Almost come back.
Mine might be something along like The Dumbest Smart Kid Ever.
The Sisterhood of the Traveling Don'ts.
Okay.
Yeah. Wow. Sisterhood of the Traveling Don'ts cap. Okay. Yeah.
Wow.
Sisterhood of the traveling
don'ts cap.
Oh yeah.
You're just shut the fuck up.
Shut the fuck up.
And it's multifaceted.
A trilogy.
It's multifaceted too
because it's like
a series.
It's a show on Netflix
that has so many
it's got fucking
eight seasons.
Episodes daily.
20 episodes a season.
There's multiple arms to it
because it's like hey yo shut the fuck up. There's multiple arms to it because it's like,
hey, yo,
shut the fuck up.
And then like,
sometimes it's like
some of the shit that happens
like,
shut the fuck up.
So that's for sure mine.
Oh, fuck.
That was good shit.
I like that.
All right.
I think that's it for,
is this episode eight?
This is episode eight.
Okay.
Episode eight in the books.
Be sure to follow us on all the socials,
at FOMO Music with an underscore.
And slam those likes, slam those reviews.
Slam those reviews, yeah.
If you review it, more people will see the show algorithmically.
Even if it's one star, algorithmically.
Morgz has been wearing the same glasses beanie combo
for like three shows now.
He needs some money.
He needs some cash.
I'm trying to stay in character, dude.
Yeah.
Take the fucking top of that index, or thumb, I guess
I would say. Yeah, yeah. Take your thumb.
Smash that review. Also, do we want to tease?
I know we talked about this, or I sent
a thing in the chat. We're going to do
a live video of us doing the
mute deaf blind challenge.
Oh, that's a good one. Yeah.
We should do that. Did you see that? No. So basically the challenge
is one of us is blinded.
One of us is muted, can't speak.
And one of us has stuff in their ears so they can't hear.
And we have to try and make a meal.
Oh, fuck.
Yes, let's do that for sure.
Yeah, we're going to do that.
It should be bake a cake because we don't even know how to bake a cake.
Yeah, we don't know how to bake a cake.
No instructions either.
Let's just go to the store and grab some ingredients.
We have to grocery shop mute, deaf, blind.
We have to do all of it mute, deaf, blind.
So blind or drive. So I'll just be be like one of us is running around just flower okay yes okay so look forward to that that might have to be like a full vlog or like a multi-parted
like tiktok series um other than that fucking what's up bitches cut? Cut it. Cut it. Oh, but what else?
So we got the FOMO say no to drugs,
but the drugs aren't listening.
Yeah, T-shirts still for sale.
There's only like five left, so.
Yeah, it's at Vintage Vault Supply Company.
On Instagram.
On Instagram.
Or there's a link tree in the bio.
Yeah, you can find them there.
And fucking tell your friends about this.
Yeah, what's up?
We're playing a boat party in Long Beach, April 3rd. If you can't make there and fucking tell your friends about this yeah what's up we're playing a boat party in Long Beach
April 3rd
if you can't make it to Miami
you're not going to be in Miami
for the 26th show
and other than that
just stay blessed out here
Kings and Queens
let's evolve together
let's evolve together
FOMO Sapiens
we'll catch you next week