NO FOMO - 8. Return of the Dragon w/ Henry Fong
Episode Date: April 7, 2022Welcome Back Fomo Sapiens. This week we have our 2nd special guest; DJ and Music Producer Henry Fong and the gloves are off. Let's Evolve Together, NO FOMO. To Submit to the Show message us on Instagr...am linked below! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fomomusic_/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/fomomusic_ Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/6K4rA9ocjtIaTOEVZ4N6dX?si=Gqh12elJQYO_zfRaW-Q9Lw&nd=1 Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/wearefomomusic
Transcript
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Recording live from beautiful Los Angeles, California.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is No Fomo.
We are here today with an incredibly special guest,
our friend, Henry Fong.
What's up, fellas?
What's poppin', buddy?
Stoked to have you on the show.
Just drinking a Pacifico with my boys.
Just slugging some Pacificos with the boys.
Absolutely.
Can't really beat that, can you?
Speaking of Pacifico, why do I have the headphones on?
Yeah, let's go.
Oh, dude.
Just like to listen to yourself talk.
Gents, what's going on
um i mean for me i did my usual research for this one because you know i don't know any djs
yep i don't know if you notice i don't listen to edm music at all and i noticed you don't really
have a dj name you just kind of went with your own name so i just wanted to come in and i came
up with a couple for you if you want to use them maybe just as a song name or if you want to adopt it, you let me know.
Maybe like a rebrand type thing.
If you were thinking about it.
So you made me like an alias.
Yeah, I made you an alias.
The first one I've got here I think is the best one.
Hooked on Fongnicks.
Okay.
You like that?
That's a good one.
I see what you did there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then I got another one here. It'sry brings the bing bong phong that's huge do you know what my nickname
was in college everyone called me fongo bongo that's way better than anything i have written
down yeah wow he just dumped on similar yeah and then i just wanted to throw this one in there the
little flex one is uh henry big dongong. You just want to throw that in?
That's my favorite.
We can use that one.
I'm down with that one.
That's a good one.
Okay.
Okay.
That's what they call them in the streets.
Those are the streets ones.
Yeah.
I figured the hooked on Fong mix could be a good song name at the least.
That would be pretty fire.
That's my rapper alias.
Maybe that's my mixtape album for sure.
A hundred percent.
Speaking of rapper alias,
this was one of my questions.
If you're a rapper,
what would your rapper name be?
And it can't be a little dreadlock.
Just put a little or a young in front of it.
And you're a rapper.
Young Fong.
That's actually pretty.
I love that.
Or like Henry the eighth or something.
Oh,
how many Henry's are there?
Which is the good one?
And which was the bad Henry?
Cause there's a bad ones and they're good ones.
I can't keep up. There's like, wait, I think they're all bad, right? You want to be a bad one. You? Which is the good one and which was the bad Henry? Because there's the bad ones and the good ones. I can't keep up.
Should we be the, wait, should I be the bad one?
You want to be a bad one for sure.
You want to be the bad one.
I think it's like Henry the 13th.
Whatever one like pillaged millions of different villages and stuff.
Okay, we got some quick fire interview questions here
just so people get to know you better.
Who is your male DJ crush in a camp can't be us my male dj crush yeah well i like i mean from a producer's perspective you kind of
you know you secretly like people's productions maybe somebody like i don't know who's fucking
fire like joyride or somebody right he's the best So this is multifaceted. We'll go one producer nerd out,
and then one male crush.
Who's the best looking dude DJ out there?
And you're not married.
Easy.
Calvin Harris, bro.
There you go.
He's the fucking good two.
He's just the man.
You seen him with his new full bond look,
getting ready for Funkwave Volume 2?
He's looking spicier than that.
The morgue look you mean? Funkwave Volume's putting that out is that that's something wave
bounces remember that album that he did wait that's what it was called it's literally called
funk wave bounces oh he's different and he's putting out the second one yeah summer are you
allowed to call something a volume one before the second one well if you know there's a second one
i guess that's fair yeah it's kind of like alluding that there's going to for sure yeah
he posted him on his like instagram story and I was like, that's fine.
It's going to be 10 summer absolute anthems.
The guy doesn't miss.
All right, let's see here.
I guess we got more of you.
What is the worst thing you've ever said on the mic at a show?
Or the dumbest thing?
Biggest whiff that ever happened.
Run through the whole catalog.
Just like when you forget where you are and you say the wrong city yeah that one that one hits you know you'd be like you'd be in like
ohio and you say what's up miami i mean when you're just in a dark room like god knows that's
a big whiff though if you're in ohio and you call my or you get up there and you're like your voice
cracks you're like what's up wait isn't there a mi what's up? Wait, isn't there a Miami in Ohio?
There is a Miami in Ohio, yeah.
No, there's not.
Oh my God.
Maybe that was the one then.
That one flies.
What is the best way to recover from that?
You just forget it.
You just forget it.
You wouldn't even notice.
Like no one's going to come tell you.
Yeah, no one in the crowd is like, hey.
But you're in your head as fuck, you know?
I don't think you'd even know. Oh, like you just fuck it up and you're just like, fuck it. Yeah, I one in the crowd is like, hey. But you're in your head as fuck. I don't think you'd even know.
Oh, like you just fuck it up and you're just like, fuck it.
I fucked it.
Because no one's going to come up and tell you in the middle of your set.
That's fair.
Sometimes I try to learn the language wherever I'm playing.
I'll just learn how to say one, two, three in the language.
It'll be in China and I'll be like, eat air, sun.
I'm sure I fucked it up a couple times.
You said one, three, two.
Going off the microphone thing,
what's the worst thing that you could ever say
on the microphone?
Or the worst thing you've heard someone else saying?
I've definitely heard some bad ones.
I've heard DJs yelling at the crowd
because they were like not dancing.
Oh my God.
Oh really?
Yeah.
I forget where this was,
but like somebody was like yelling at the crowd because the crowd sucks.
And,
but you know,
maybe the DJ wasn't playing what the crowd wanted.
Yeah.
Maybe that's on you,
buddy.
Yeah.
Can you guys dance?
One way to get the crowd going,
insult them,
you know?
Yeah.
That's what we want to be doing.
Well,
it's just a bold call to assume they're just not into it.
And it's you're playing dank stuff.
My music's fire.
This is on them, not me, right?
You're just like, yo, I'm fire.
What are you, Mr. Brightside, on repeat?
So I don't know why you're not getting that.
Mr. Brightside's future bass remix didn't hit.
Going off the Mr. Brightside thing,
what are throwbacks that just don't hit anymore?
Oh, bro.
I realized I started getting old when I started playing something like, Right side thing. What are throwbacks that just don't hit anymore? Oh, bro.
I realized I started getting old when I started playing some of the – I had these mashups I'd been playing in my DJ set,
and I just replaced the drop every year, but I keep the same mashup.
One of them was DJ Cool, Let Me Clear My Throat.
That shit used to go off five, six, seven years ago when I was DJing,
and now you play Let Me Clear My Throat now, and the crowd's just like –
Because the age of people who would know that just phased out. That's like, yeah, seven years ago when I was DJing. And now you play Let Me Clear My Throat Now, and the crowd's just like... Because the age of people who would know that
is just phased out.
That's like, yeah, you know?
Yeah.
That one and,
you got a hundred dollar bill, put your hands up.
The Fat Man Scoop one.
Yeah, the Fat Man Scoop one.
What's it called?
Love Like This Before.
Yeah, is that...
Did Skrillex sample that for a record as well?
Yeah.
He did, right?
But you play that era of hip hop now,
and like...
Like 90s hip hop?
The crowd's just like, what is that?
Yeah, unless it's one of the largest records from that era.
People don't know the OG 90s hip hop shit anymore.
So that's why you hear in a lot of the big tunes right now,
you hear people sampling more of the 2000s, late 2000s stuff.
It's like mid-2000s R&B and pop and shit.
A lot of Black Eyed Peas.
I think my least favorite shit ever
is when you play a song with two hooks
at the same time. So like when people do a
they do a drop and then with also
lyrics on it. Like they'll do like animals
but also with lyrics on it.
Oh yeah, no you can't be doing that.
There shouldn't be two like hooks
going on at the same time.
Yeah, that's just not gonna work.
Like heads will roll with lyrics over it too.
Yeah, well that's why like the vocal house shit is so popular right now because it's the first like genre that's been popular where you can have a full verse on the drop because the
production's like understated enough yeah you can have the bass is like low too exactly you can't
have a massive big room lead and have a vocal but you can have a fire bass line yeah that's just
like what am i which part am i listening yeah Well, you just shouldn't be playing Animals in a set anymore,
regardless.
Unless you're Martin Garrix.
Oh, another one I used to play all the time
was the Yin Yang Twins Get Low.
Oh, yeah.
No, that shit.
No, to the wall.
It usually has been going off,
and then lately, the last two years,
sometimes I play it,
and it's just like kind of crickets.
Yeah.
I'm like, damn, I got to rotate these out
because we're getting old.
These 18-year-olds just don't,
they don't know shit. It's a strictly spring spring break one what do you think the anthems are for
like the 18 year old the newer ravers right now like if you had to play their version of what
of like that what that would be to us what do you think that is um that's a really good question
fuck i thought we were doing the interview jesus christ dude i honestly feel like most of the I feel like
most of the early 2000s shit is
still popular among like
Yeah, the early 2000s.
What's like some of the huge ones?
What's like the equivalent to like a get low, you know?
From music now or 2000s?
No, like that.
If you were an 18-year-old raver and you walked into a festival
and somebody played a throwback
What is the throwback that you were listening to when you were like 10 if you're i don't know
about you but i'm feeling 22 i think it's like it's probably like a drink song i was literally
gonna say it's gotta be like a drink song yeah like fucking i'm on one or something you know
oh yeah that's the other huge one that um fucking the other big dj called
all i do is win i guess that that's like yeah that's definitely us but yeah that's me too
that's like like on the cusp of those people would also know it you know jay's over here
still trying to figure out what animals is wait there's a song called animals i didn't know we
were talking about that's one of the few ones i do know actually yeah yeah can you sing it for us
off the top?
I was just going to do that.
I was just going to do that.
That was pretty good.
That was not bad.
I wasn't expecting you to go tongue acapella there.
How did I hit the notes with my tongue?
That was pretty impressive.
Yeah.
That might be a new talent for you.
All right.
What else we got?
Morgie Poo?
I wanted to go off a little Florida stuff real quick because I know you're from Florida.
Oh, yeah.
So I put a little segment together.
A whole Florida segment?
Yeah.
There's a lot to discuss there.
It's Two Truths are Alive.
It's the rest of the podcast.
Two Truths are Alive Florida News Edition.
So I'm going to read you Florida news headlines,
and you tell me which one's fake.
All right.
All right.
You can phone a friend for this one.
So the first one is Florida man stabs tourist despite having no arms.
That could fucking be true.
This is the second one.
Florida man gets tired of waiting at hospital,
steals ambulance, and drives home.
Oh, my God. Easily true.
They're all going to be true, man.
This third one is
Florida man charged with assault with a deadly weapon
after throwing an alligator through a drive-thru window.
Oh, my God. Okay, so we
got the stab, we got the ambulance, and we got
the alligator. Alright, I know the alligator one's
true because I've seen it before. Because that was
my uncle. That one has to be true.
That one's true. That's not the only time
that's happened. If one of them was him, that would be awesome.
Stealing the ambulance, probably true. The first one's probably
not real because how do you stab someone with no arms? Just
on that basis of
common sense. But if you didn't have arms, you might be crafty with the feet or like the mouth or something wait did you
guys see that video the guy with the no arms with the rolly backpack and he's got his shirt arm tied
to the rolly backpack yeah yeah he's that's the dave portnoy he's like how's he pulling that
and the guy walked he walks past him with a with a luggage thing tied to his
like stump wow you gotta get creative okay so you're saying what's the verdict here
he's saying which one's not true the first one's not true the other two are true they're all true
i got i got one more one more set for you um this one is florida man admits to killing and
drinking goat for blood for sacrifice.
Will still run for Senate.
Goat for blood.
Okay, we got goat for blood.
Two, Florida man arrested in local park for practicing karate on swans.
Three, Florida man arrested for dancing on patrol car to escape vampires.
Dude, they're all fucking true.
I'm just kidding.
They're all true.
He's my favorite shit ever.
I was literally trying to-
Six truths, no lies.
I found this website of like 20 of them,
and I was looking at them.
I was like, I can't come up with anything
that beats any of these.
Yeah.
They're all, I mean,
because in Florida, we've got our classic meth heads.
You've got your gator swamp people.
So that's just classic news across the board.
I couldn't think of anything that would.
I actually grew up in the swamp, kind of.
Grew up in the swamp?
I grew up in a place called Jupiter Farms, and it's out in the middle of nowhere.
And there would just be alligators coming up the driveway.
No way.
I swear to God, bro.
Wait, so.
They would kill, the alligators would come into our thing,
and they would kill the ducks andators would come into our thing and they
would kill the ducks and the geese in our fucking front yard and we wake up and there would just be
feathers and dead ducks and shit everywhere jesus and so my um stepdad back in the day
he would just fucking get the rifle out and he would open our front door and he would
snipe the gators from inside our house.
This is like where I live, dude.
Truth.
This is the truth.
So the gators would come up trying to kill all these ducks in our yard and shit, and he would be like, bah.
Wait, so speaking of gators, I looked up how fast they can run.
If you guys had to guess.
Oh, it's like 30.
20 miles an hour.
Yeah, it's 15 to 20 miles an hour.
That's why you got to run zigzags if they chase you.
You have to be on.
Dude, what the fuck?
I'm a Florida man.
I'm secretly a Florida man.
You are the Florida man.
All right.
So our last musical related topic here.
Worst and best karaoke song choices.
Oh.
You could take a second.
Well, one time I was in college and we had this like sunday night karaoke
thing and what we started doing is start signing people's names up on the on the fucking thing
like just people you were with like just people that we knew would be like awkward on the stage
the people the guy in the group like group who was like hell no i'm not doing it and you're like
come on so like one of my best friends he's my roommate and he was just like he's like an mma
fighter like total cool guy like never would be on stage karaoke and we're like yo let's go
sign justin up for karaoke guess what song we did that was we put crazy town you're my butterfly
sugar baby that's a good that's a good the whole bar he's like no fuck you guys i'm not doing it
the whole bar started justin justin he had to get up on stage and sing you're my butterfly
come my lady come come that's a banger that's a banger yeah but at the time though it was like
that's not the song you want to be carried that wasn't that wasn't the one you know
that's the worst one though what's what would be your like absolute go-to like favorite for you
sweet caroline no i'm just kidding. That is my worst.
That is my worst.
That's the fucking worst.
I was talking about this with someone the other day,
and we're like, yo, what is the absolute worst college songs to sing at the end of the night?
It's that or fucking Wagon Wheel.
Blow my brains out.
Hold on.
Hey, hey, hey.
Wait, speaking of Mo Bamba, Mo Bamba would go hard.
Oh, are you shitting me?
That would be, that's that would
be like a skill to kind of like show like you know the whole thing
for my all just go best first and we'll all go worse well he already did worse i said sweet
caroline's you go worse oh my worst um i got yg my ninja just because you literally wouldn't be
able to sing it yeah because every other word would be enough you could just be up there just like my my uh my
they'd all be watching you there'd be like my brother my brother
that's a toughie my worst one is uh chop suey system of oh my god how does that go
isn't that down with the sickness is that down with the sickness chop suey would also be horrible
okay down i think chop suey would be kind of lit though the whole bar would go off no yeah i think
you were thinking of down with this i was thinking of down with the sickness whatever that one is we
go wow if you could do it if you could do it it would be sick chop suey it's like the super like
monotone like one i don't know if no that's a that's the one yeah i know that one yeah okay i mix them up i mix there's a clips of gta playing chop suey
they play they used to have like a but this shit goes off man they used to have a sit or they have
a sick like remix or edit of it yeah maybe it's their edit remix it's fucking dope um my goat
mr brightside 100 mr brightside for goat that's my go-to every time. That's a classic. Let's go, let's go woat.
Fuck.
Best one?
No,
you already did his worst.
You already did his worst.
Oh,
that was supposed to be worse?
Oh,
wait.
You said Sweet Caroline was worse.
That was your best one?
No,
that was my worst.
I was going to say,
get it together,
goat.
Goat,
no.
Just said it.
Oh.
God damn,
wait,
hold on.
Someone turn,
switch him on.
Turn your brain on,
dude.
What the fuck is going on?
I just thought,
get this guy another Pacifico
So one thing that I thought
Would be fucking hilarious to do
Would be just to do an EDM song
With no lyrics
Like if you did animals
It just has no words
I'm not even talking about
The fucking animals
There's one thing
Or if you did like levels or something
That'd be lit
And then so I had for
The one I wrote down was
Jizz in my pants lonely island i think
that's what you would go with that's how do you go i'm on a boat yeah i'm on a boat when i just
i forgot about that one that's one of the box with me friday too yeah
or is that was just was that just an snl skit that wasn't like oh you just i think that was
the same guys yeah it was it was when Justin Timberlake hosted SNL.
But it was with Andy Samberg.
Yeah.
That was them.
My best one?
What's your go-to?
I mean, my classic go-to is I wrote Sins Not Tragedies.
Oh, yeah.
Come on.
Oh, come on.
Yeah.
That's fucking all time.
And the other one that we thought of the other day that would be lit would be the SpongeBob
theme song.
Oh, SpongeBob.
If you could hit the.
Are you ready, kids?
And the crowd's like,
aye, aye, Captain.
You got to hope for crowd performance.
Yeah, you need some crowd help.
When I was,
I was like touring in China sometime
and they're like bringing you back
to these like,
these clubs are like super clubs
and they have like crazy green rooms.
And sometimes they bring you back
in the green rooms
and they bring you to these like
karaoke rooms.
But like high level karaoke rooms where it's like they have all the equipment and stuff. And like one time I was just like chilling in there, me and like two or three
people. And then they like brought in these like karaoke girls. And I was like, what's going on?
And then like the lady just comes up to the thing and she just picks a song and she starts just like
singing some Chinese song to us. And we're just like sitting there getting a full-on performance in the getting a performance in the green room and i was like
i was like kind of lit i was like yeah cool yeah there's a place in la it's called like a lot of
them do it red dragon or something and it's like private karaoke rooms so you get like groups of
like 10 that's like the thing to do so sick it was so fun yeah yeah because then it's like less
everyone's like more comfortable you know i need the whole crowd they have like it's like bottle service if i'm gonna perform i need the crowd there yeah i
mean there's something about singing a shitty song to a bunch of strangers that just hits different
yeah would you guys sing uh would you guys sing crazy town butterfly i would wait what is this
song called actually i don't know butterflies yeah it's called butterfly yeah okay yeah i would
absolutely i would rip that now that i think about it so i thought this one was gonna hit i forget if you
were there for it but i did you were there i did a natasha i would was it unwritten or written yeah
dude i did natasha beddingfield unwritten it didn't go and it bombed
is that the feel the rain on your skin it How is that possible? It's like, I am unwritten.
What's the one that goes, feel the rain on my skin?
That's the look, yeah.
And just for whatever reason, the whole bar was just like, what?
No, not only did it bomb.
Oh, you know what would be a banger?
What's the one that goes, making my way downtown?
Is that Vanessa Carlton?
That shit would go off.
That's the girl.
That's Vanessa Carlton, right?
I think so.
Yeah, but what was it?
If I could fall into the sky.
That's a good one.
Why did it go so bad for me?
Well, so it not only went,
but it was so bad that they fake cut the mic.
Oh, we lost power.
They were like, oh, the song cut out.
Someone pulled the breaker on the entire club.
As they're speaking on the other mic and it's working.
Oh, this isn't working. Someone pulled the breaker on the entire club. As they're speaking on the other mic and it's working. No, this isn't working.
So next up we have,
I paid $20 to go to the front of the line for this shit.
Oh, wow.
And I was with a bunch of people, including a girl.
Wait, you can pay to cut the line?
Yeah, I had to pay a dub.
Yeah, you can grease the box.
Someone's low-key banking.
Yeah.
Bro, but I went,
I was with like five people, didn't know that well,
and I went back to the table.
That was rough. And I was just like.
Sweating fucking bullets.
That was rough.
That did not go well.
Trying to drink.
Your shirt soaking wet.
Fucking Christ.
Sweating through a jacket.
Yeah.
Like it just was terrible.
Fully sweating through a hoodie.
Okay, wait, one more quick one, because I forgot we had this one.
Fuck, marry, kill the three of us and why?
I don't know, bro. Well why What you're gonna find out fuck Mary kill there we go
Just one two three you got a kid you're wrong Mary, I'll tell you that
Why are you the wrong mary dude uh because that's mary oh my goodness we'd never get bored man
sweet fucking christ all right you want to fire off your your thingies yeah we just got a couple
little fun debate topics you know uh goat fast food chain goat fast food chain yeah
i already know yours henry what's yours i got a hot take and i want i want your exact order
from that place oh man uh the best one is five guys five guys really five guys that's a bold
claim dude it's better than in and out it's better than In-N-Out. It's better than all of them. Are we all teaming in on that one? We got five guys in here.
Oh, wow.
We do have five guys.
Yeah, our good friend Forbes is here laying on the fucking floor.
Five guys is a bold call.
Our beer bitch.
It's a bold call, but it's actually better.
It's a fact.
I do like how you can customize the shit out of it at five guys.
It is good as fuck.
But it's like $15 versus four.
That is the only problem.
Is it?
Dude, if you get a combo at five guys, it's like 15 bucks. that is the only problem is it if you get a like combo at
five guys it's like 15 bucks if you get like a shake fries burger dude you just walk in and they
have the peanuts everywhere and it's like yeah it's a nice touch i like five guys and i think
it's easily up there but i'm gonna i'm a chick-fil-a guy too oh chick-fil-a is so it's so
simple and i don't know i can't explain it there's just like only two pickles on this fucking thing
and it's so good and it's just like you just I can't explain it. There's just like only two pickles on this fucking thing. And it's so good.
And it's just like you just want to eat it.
Which is kind of bullshit that they still get away with that,
if you're being honest.
Yeah.
You're going to throw two and no sauce?
Like I have sauce in myself?
I house it in Polynesian, you know?
That's true.
Polynesian's the way to go.
Oh, yeah.
I am a little peanut slut at Five Guys, though.
Yeah, you're a nut slut?
I'm a nut slut.
My favorite part is I just get to be a complete piece of shit
and just throw them on the floor.
You know? He gets to be normal complete piece of shit and just throw them on the floor. You know?
Done with my burger wrappers.
He gets to be normal and it's normal for everybody else.
I get to be myself at five.
When I first moved here, I was like,
In-N-Out's the best.
When I first moved here from Florida,
I'd never seen In-N-Out in my life.
I ate it every single night after I went out
when I first moved here.
So you're still a big fan.
But like, I just overdid it.
You burnt yourself out.
Yeah, I burnt out.
I've done that with so many places.
Chipotle, for me, I've run myself thin on.
I used to eat it four or five times a week.
I still eat it.
I still eat it, but I've like curbed it back to like maybe once every other week.
I eat that once a day.
You know how at Five Guys they have the wall where you could draw shit?
Like a chalk wall or whatever?
No, they have the art wall.
You get like a piece of paper, right?
Yeah, they have the –
Oh, you go and paint it on there.
I saw the best thing I've ever seen in my whole fucking life.
Wait, I think I was with you.
I can't remember what it was.
It's the five-guy human centipede.
Have you seen human centipede?
Someone drew five guys a new logo?
You haven't seen human centipede?
No.
I haven't seen it, but I know it.
So long story short, it's like a horror movie about this doctor that ties people mouth to ass.
Oh, okay.
I've heard of this.
Fuck this.
And someone drew five dudes in a human centipede on the wall.
And I was just like,
you're kidding me.
You're sick.
And that person was me.
Best shit I've ever seen
because I did it.
All right.
What's your, what's, well.
Goat.
Okay, so goat fast food.
Wow, we really missed on the fast fire.
Well, I never heard your order.
My order?
From Five Guys.
What do you, what's yours?
Oh, I just get the burger
with fucking everything on it with the mushrooms and the onions and all that just just
load that fucker yeah yeah double i'm assuming yeah yeah you got it one patty's not enough
yeah i'm a born and raised caniac yeah you put that over t-bell for you i don't eat t-bell that
much anymore i would have thought you were gonna say taco bell 100 no i'm a caniac raising canes
is up there for raising canesing Cane's is good.
Dude, I'm putting Raising Cane's in In-N-Out on the same level.
I forgot about Raising Cane's, man.
It's just not accessible sometimes.
There's no locations.
Dude, it's tough to find.
Orange County has a shitload of them.
LA doesn't have hardly any.
Every time I get it, I'm on the way from Orange County.
It's creeping into San Diego.
We've got two locations now.
There's a third one popping up near me.
Yep.
Yeah. You keep it a secret? You weren't two locations now. There's a third one popping up near me. Yep. Yeah.
You keep it a secret?
You weren't going to tell me there's a Cane's?
Yeah, I should have.
Well, last time we went to Raising Cane's, we got the gear.
Yeah, we got it.
They sell t-shirts for $10.
That's a steal.
That's the cheapest t-shirt you can get.
In this economy?
What a steal.
Like, it costs that much to make a shirt.
Yeah.
But so I get the Caniac combo.
I used to do extra toast but i'm a
gluten god now yeah you're he's a celiac he can't eat gluten yeah gluten god the opposite of that
yeah so i do the kaniac combo with the biggest fucking lemonade in the world and so much ketchup
oh yeah you get the card for the sauces for sauces i feel like i stopped there in the pandemic a lot
the one in oc it wears it's right off of like um i know exactly it's like anaheim or some shit it's like literally
you can see it from the freeway it's like right there yeah i stopped that one a lot
you you know me t-bell i'm a t-bell towers
t-bell towers and you're not gonna catch me walking out there without a baja blast
okay if the fries are there, I'm eating in.
You can't take those to go.
I'm not going to take those to go.
I'm going to get them while they're fresh.
You get your food from the drive-thru park and they go inside.
I could fuck up a Cheesy Gordita Crunch.
Oh, Cheesy Gordita Crunch.
With a fiery shell?
The fiery shells are gone, right?
Fuck off fire shells.
It's just a Doritos shell.
Fuck off with your fire shells.
Those are bad. Wow, fuck off to you. Fuck off with your fire shows. Those are bad.
Wow, fuck off to you.
I'm fair with that.
And then I got to get a Crunchwrap.
Crunchwrap Supreme.
Those are kind of a cap for me.
Wait, did you know this?
You can sub out beef for chicken on those.
And they're dummy fire.
Really?
They're dummy?
Yeah.
Shit.
But yeah, you know me.
It's like at least...
I thought you were both going to say Taco Bell.
It's at least twice a week, I'd say. Yeah, you're a fucking demon. I think I'm just going know me it's like at least I thought you were both gonna say it's at least twice a week
you're a fucking demon I
think I just gonna have to go you know
double double actually I get three by three
fries half strawberry half vanilla shake
that's it's game over shake
for I got I got one kind of like that
would you rather
everything in your life
be hot or everything
in your life be cold now we're talking
across the board
we're talking weather
we're talking showers
we're talking food
I'm going hot
hot
100%
hot?
yeah
fuck yeah
hot food
hot showers
hot weather
hot women
let's go
I didn't think about that
cold
I kind of like a cold
a cold mean girl though
well she's cold hearted
yeah cold hearted
she's bad but she's cold I'm going mean girl though. Well, she's cold hearted. Yeah, cold hearted. She's bad,
but she's cold.
I'm going cold.
She's a 10,
but she's cold.
Cold blooded bitch.
You're going cold?
Yeah.
I'm cold all day.
You moved to the fucking,
you know,
middle of the Himalayas.
No,
I just blast a fucking AC.
So it's snowing 24 seven.
It doesn't have to be that cold.
Think about,
say how cold.
Think about this on team hot,
right?
Your car's hot.
Get in your car, leather sticking to your pants dude you're hot because you're
blazing you're sweating and what do you reach for a hot bottle of water because you can only
have everything hot i'm going cold i don't care we we got to figure out a way to phrase the cold
shit bad yeah right well cold-hearted cold cold food ice cream cold showers cold showers would be the toughest
thing to get around but i would do what if you live in alaska and you have to wake up and take
a cold shower okay i didn't say it's 20 degrees outside and you take a cold shower fuck that it's
cold not glacial okay it's not we didn't define the rain okay it's just cold it's just on the
edge of cold you gotta wear a sweater so you're building that mental toughness all day long
yeah well i'm at the beach bitch you know yeah i could be at the beach this is a little
chilly cold sand hey cold sand cold sand hits so does the cold side of a pillow
i'm going hot you're sleeping in a warm bed you're sweating i don't care i'm going hot
you're not gonna change my mind only hot hot guy we're hot dudes. Dude, I grew up in Florida.
The sticky leather when you open the car.
Dude, I love swamp ass.
Makes me feel at home.
What alcohol are you drinking on Team Hot?
Sake.
Fuck off.
The whole rest of your life?
Yeah, hot sake.
Done.
Easy.
Soup?
How many soups can we eat that are hot?
Yeah.
Pho, ramen, anything.
Enjoy your cold bowl of pho.
Oh, I'm obviously not ordering pho.
Enjoy your cold T-bone steak, dumbass.
You ever had cold pho, though?
No.
Exactly so.
It gets coagulated from the animal oils.
It turns into like a fucking...
Ever put ramen in the fridge, dude?
Gelatinous.
Gelatinous.
It turns into Jell-O.
Gelatinous.
All right, that one pissed me off.
I like that one.
All right, let's see.
gelatinous all right i like that that one pissed me off i like that one all right let's see
well the this one like ties into the other one i'm just gonna say like favorite cuisine overall you know i'm big uh asian food fan obviously like if you could only
eat one for the rest of your life i think i'd have to go the same yeah i would i fuck up chinese
asians up there for me thai food well i don't know if you're allowed to classify it as just Asian food.
You know what I mean?
I'm going Thai food.
Because there's Japanese, there's Chinese, there's Vietnamese.
So good.
Yeah.
So I have to pick one of them?
I think you have to pick one because Asian food's way too overarching.
Of course.
You have to pick Japanese, Chinese.
Japanese.
Vietnamese.
Japanese.
Japanese.
Because they have the soups and they have the sushi and they have the-
Yeah, I'm with that.
The barbecue stuff.
Yeah, I'm with that.
Chinese I love, but like a lot of it's- I'm a sucker for a fried rice, dude'm with that. The barbecue stuff. I'm with that. Chinese I love, but like a lot of it's...
I'm a sucker for a fried rice, dude.
I know.
Dude, I'm a Thai boy.
But like, I feel like you can get fried rice
in like a Japanese restaurant for sure, right?
Hopefully.
Yeah.
You can get fried rice just about anywhere.
Yeah.
Okay.
Then Mexican food, fried rice.
God damn it, it's too good.
Yeah, I was either going to go Mexican
or like Japanese for sure.
Sorry for shutting that down.
That was just out of character for me.
That's just out of character for him.
Last time I checked, you're not in charge of what I get to ask.
I'm so sorry.
All right.
We got truth or drink coming up.
Oh, okay.
Well, we're already drinking, so how do we take this to another echelon?
Just take another drink.
My Asian red face is kicking in now after one.
Like if you have to drink, you have to like. Just take another drink. My Asian red face is kicking in now after one.
You guys need to see the Asian red face go from nothing.
It's escalating.
It's escalating quickly.
Oh, it's going to get hot.
The pink tint really brings out the red face.
There you go.
Where's my sunglasses at?
What if we up the nanny? If you opt for drink, it's like finish your drink.
No.
We like to really motivate you
to have to answer the questions, you know?
All right.
Like it's supposed to be a punishment.
Well, we'll do half.
Let's go a three gulper.
You know?
A triple gulp?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
A triple gulp.
I have to gulp.
I don't want to be blacked out by the time this is over.
I have to drive, so I'll double down.
Okay.
I got to be in normal condition later on.
No, we're not trying to get you too fucked up
Let's see
It is a party though so
Yeah alright we're blacking out
We'll Uber you there
If your sex life had a movie title what would it be?
Disappointment
40 year old virgin the trilogy
I like that
Let me think of some movie titles for a second
That's not a truth or drink
How is that a truth or drink.
Yeah, how is that a truth or drink?
Because if you don't want to answer it, because it's so embarrassing.
I mean, you could just come up with a different title.
Trash, dude.
How are you so trash?
Okay, mine's going to be Inception then.
It's a dream within a dream within a dream.
That's fire.
Oh, like pick a movie that already exists.
Oh, I thought you meant just name it. I was like, I didn't say anything. a dream within a dream that's fire oh like pick a movie that already exists that's oh i thought
i thought you meant just name it i was like no anything it had a movie title like
so mine is inception welcome to the dream within a dream okay okay okay
oh shit the dark knight
he's not the hero we need but he's a hero we deserve Oh, shit. The Dark Knight.
He's not the hero we need, but he's the hero we deserve.
Oh, that's good. I need a second for that one. That's the hit.
I was thinking Batman, too.
It's a good one.
I got a good one.
Henry Fong, the movie.
Return of the Dragon.
Yes! Another good one. Henry Fong the movie? Return of the Dragon. Yes!
Another good one. I was previously in a long relationship.
Yeah.
Return of the Dragon.
The Dragon's back, baby.
I have to drink for that one
just because I can't think of a good one.
That's fair.
You guys caught me off guard with that.
Yeah.
Okay.
Batman versus Superman.
Batman versus Superman. me off guard with that yeah okay um batman versus superman batman versus superman at least be iron man iron man they can be iron man this is another good one i love you man that's what i'm just gonna
say step brothers Oh, shit. That's good shit.
It is hot in here, boys.
Holy shit.
Okay.
Your number one red, or your top green red flag.
Let me fucking start. Take a moment.
Take all the time you need to not do that again.
Your worst red flag and your best green flag.
I can tell you my worst red flag and your best green flag i could tell you my worst red flag disney adults is my worst what does that mean like adults who are like worship disney who are
like super into disney they got like a tattoo backpack season passes yeah oh so you're going
red flag green flag for other people oh you're you're saying for me? I think we could do both. Wait, what do you mean?
Oh, you meant my worst red flag.
Yeah, like your own personal red flag.
What is a red flag of mine?
I'm not going to disclose that.
Yeah, no, I'm saying for other people.
Yeah, let's go.
Why would I tell everyone why they never want to date me?
Okay, so yeah, we'll do other people.
You know people listen to this?
Okay, so skip, I'll drink.
Yeah, I'm sticking with Disney adults for my red.
For other people, green flag.
Mm-hmm.
I have so many reds, but so few greens.
Another reds is if a girl.
Reds is just fun to talk about.
Reds are good.
Give me a second for greens.
Hit another.
You guys hit yours.
I mean, lower back tat, red flag.
Yeah.
That's in my greens
i think uh burping and fartings has to be my
for yourself no for others for a girl yeah oh yeah yeah yeah and then green has to be lower back tat
if it's tasteful you know if it says if it says like someone's name what If it's tasteful, you know?
If it says someone's name.
What if it's a Disney lower back tat?
It goes to green.
It's a Mickey Mouse pointing down.
What do we got, Henry?
Mine's kind of serious, I guess, but when they're on the phone too much.
Oh, yeah.
Big red flag.
Always on the fucking Instagram shit, dude red flag. Like always on the fucking Instagram
shit, dude. Yeah, it's annoying as fuck.
And then the green flag is when they're not always on their
phone. Yeah, right. When they're able to
actually exist in reality.
Even when I'm with my friends, it's like I'm trying to
not, we are here right now.
Yeah, I mean the only time that I'd be doing that
is if we're hungover laying on a couch together.
But like I'm trying not to be on my phone
if I'm like engaging with the boys, you know? Getting through these beers. Yeah, we're kindover laying on a couch together. But I'm trying not to be on my phone if I'm engaging with the boys.
We're getting through these beers.
Yeah, we're kind of motoring through.
Would you guys say you're in your prime drinking age?
Yeah.
Prime party phase?
I'm pretty elite at this point in time.
I see your guys' story and I'm like,
oh my God, I'm tired.
We are definitely peak partying right now now which i thought we'd be slowing
down by now but it's not it's not happening you were like scared yeah where were we okay
yeah miami took a toll for sure a couple years off the line i'd say we're definitely we definitely
can't move there we'd die we're in prime drinking age just because i know how much i can drink i
mean the yeah my i know my limits so well that I just
go to it every time.
I peaked at like 23.
Really?
23 to 25.
When did you start drinking though?
15.
I didn't start drinking until like legit
18 in college.
I didn't start it in high school at all.
Oh really?
Yeah, we were just like rambunctious little rascals.
We didn't really party.
So going on this, at this, you're on red leather?
Dude, yellow leather.
Might as well be my second fucking language because.
And what's the first?
Fucking nonsense?
Yeah, absolutely nonsense.
Jesus, morgology.
So at what point do you know you're too drunk?
When I wake up in a pool of my own piss.
The spins, bro.
The spins. The spins. Yeah, I think that's pool of my own piss. The spins, bro. The spins.
The spins.
Yeah, I think that's way past what I know.
But to be fair.
Oh, yeah, that's like super late, actually.
That's like when you get home and you're just like, oh.
Yeah, that's usually like at the end.
Well, I got my natural red face indicator.
Yeah, there you go.
You got the litmus test.
You have a color grading system.
Nope, I'm only at burnt orange.
It's usually when I pile it on fast.
Like if I was like shot, shot, boom, red.
It's the shots that fucking take you overboard.
I think for me, it's when I start forcing other people to drink.
Yeah, yeah.
Because you're like, holy fuck, I'm so drunk.
I need someone with me.
I'm like, hack the pace.
When you were screaming hack the pace in Miami, I was like, bro, we're hammered.
There's no hack and pace here.
We're at full throttle.
Is this mine?
That's mine.
The other night at Bang Bang, he's literally pouring out my water bottles into the plant.
I'm grabbing a water bottle because I'm way too drunk.
And he's not letting you drink water?
He's like, oh, let me see that.
And he grabs it and just pours it out.
What do you let you drink water?
I watered the fake plant, yeah.
Jesus. Garrett, that's when you start just talkings it out. What do you let you drink water? I watered the fake plant, yeah. Jesus.
Garrett, it's when you start just talking to people forever.
I mean, I kind of do that always.
I start talking loud too.
So like when you're in the,
hey, what's up?
And you're like talking so loud
and then people start like getting away from you
when you're talking to them.
That's how you know you're talking to them.
That happens to me when I'm not drunk.
I guess it's when I'm talking to a group of strangers
and I haven't seen my friends in two hours.
Yeah, that's it.
I'm like, these are my best friends.
That's it, for sure.
Okay, let me see here.
Imagine we are your future children.
Give us the bird and bees talk.
Ooh.
Well, he has a son, so he can...
He's seven years old, so we're not there yet.
But have you rehearsed it already?
Do you know?
Oh, he's asked before.
He'll ask, where do babies come from?
He's kind of asked that.
It's like the classic question, right?
And basically, you just say, the daddy puts a seed in the mommy.
Yep.
And a baby grows, and then a baby grows in the belly.
Which is accurate.
Boom.
100% accurate.
That's it.
That's to the point.
Yep.
So what about the 15-year-old talk? What do you think it is? Like 12? It's usually high school, I feel like. My dad never. That's it. That's to the point. Yep. So what about like the 15 year old talk or like the 14?
What do you think it is?
Like 12?
It's usually high school.
I feel like.
My dad never gave me the talk.
I never got one either.
My dad, I never forget this.
The talk for my dad, we're sitting, he says, we're going for a ride.
We get in the truck.
No.
He's never done anything like this.
We're going for a ride in the truck and he's just driving around in complete silence for
like 20 minutes.
And I'm like, what's going on? and then he looks at me and he just goes
you use a condom right i was like uh yeah and he's like all right and that was it
that was the whole thing so scary dude i was like i thought i was gonna get like i thought i was
trying to think of everything i did wrong to that point i'm running through the whole thing oh yeah
i think uh we're in like an era
where there's just so much online and stuff
that like kids figure it out well
before a parent would think they would even.
Yeah, where you think,
when you said 15,
I was thinking for his kids,
it's probably going to be like nine.
No, yeah.
He took a drink for that.
I got mine like the night
before I was about to start
my freshman year of high school.
He's like, oh, you know, when you're in the locker room with some like the older guys.
Because I was like on the baseball team.
And he's like, they're probably going to be talking about, you know, all the stuff with girls and stuff.
And, you know, just kind of went from there and talked about it.
Seems like you had the best experience.
Yes.
I never got one.
I didn't get one either.
Well, you didn't have a dad.
Well, your dad wasn't there.
Not funny at all.
It's kind of funny.
It's kind of funny. funny okay so we nailed that one
thank you all for that why did you act like that's a soft subject all of a sudden
we talked about that our entire lives i can't wait for that edit i'm just gonna put like a fucking
a 21 saturday song okay um tell us the time that you first discovered porn
well back in my day we had magazines magazines for sure yeah it was the magazines and then uh
we were hardly even at the era where mine was magazines oh i was in like a summer camp one
year or something and these fucking kids on the bus had the magazines. Oh, that's fair. That's a cool way to discover it.
Yeah, for sure. That's how I discovered it.
Really?
When I first, I found a magazine,
whatever it fucking was, a Hustler
and I took it and I was looking at it
in the bathroom
and I remember I put it in my backpack
and I took it to school.
We're on the playground looking at it.
What age was this?
It was like sixth or
seventh grade but i'll never forget i the like bell rings and we panic and my friend takes it
and he puts it under his shirt you couldn't just put it back in the back yeah let me hold this i
got us yeah he's like so he puts it under his shirt and he's walking with his freaking hand
on his shirt and we're like getting in line to go back into class and he trips and falls and it's it sprays out right under the teacher's feet like a scene out of it literally just
right under their feet and he she picks it up and she's like okay and she's like she's like
john and i forget his name she's like principal's office right now and i'll never forget we're
sitting in the principal's office and he's looking at me he's like i got you bro i'm not going to say
anything i'm not i will not rat you out bro i got you and they they call us into the principal's office right now and I'll never forget we're sitting in the principal's office and he's looking at me he's like I got you bro I'm not gonna say anything I'm not I will not rat you
out bro I got you and they they call us in the principal's office and he's like I got it from him
I knew that was coming I was like damn dude you sold me out like that not realizing it says my
name and address on the thing that's delivered to the house I hope it was your first name too
that was the best pickup ever from
school. Cause you get picked up and your mom's asking, so how did school go today? What's going
on? And I'm just sitting there and I'm like, nothing, regular day, not even thinking about it.
Pulling your dad out of the water. And then absolutely. I'll never forget. I'm sitting,
she's like, wait in your room for your dad to come home. I can't believe you lied to me. And
he comes in and he's the only thing he says to me, he's like, God dad to come home I can't believe you lied to me and he comes in the only thing he says to me is like god damn it now I can't have those
magazines anymore
not even mad
I found it he's just like I gotta get rid of them
he's like you blew my shit out of me
you fucked me
so for me it was 6th grade
I was watching South Park
and they talk about it
so me and my friend Sean at the time
there's like a computer in the
living room and we we like fucking we gotta see what it's about and we're like deep into it like
we got a favorite chick and shit at this point and we hear his dad just start to open the door
and we're just like oh fuck like fumbling the whole keyboard 30 tabs and then he comes in and we're just like on google and both look out the door
just like what it just says boobies in the search bar
like yeah mine was definitely just i think it was me um and hunter and aaron like my two best
friends growing up and we were just in like the memory you used to have like a computer room in
the house there'd be like a room with the computer when you had like dial up, you know what I mean? And
we definitely straight up just Googled like massive boobies and
like a bunch of shit like that. And then like not even an hour
later, like his dad went to go use the computer when he got home and just like goes to
Google and just, you know how the search history pops like auto pops
up. Just all right.
What's up with this?
There's like big boobs, massive boobs,
just all these Google image searches.
Boobs, butts, girls boobs.
It was literally just Google image.
I miss that.
Yeah, the golden era.
I couldn't even imagine how funny it is
to find a
like a six or seven
year old's
porn google history
as a dad too
it's like
it's all fortnite
it's on fortnite
it's all fortnite related
that's how they find those
have you seen this
if you type in
fortnite to instagram
and press search
and go to accounts
it's all the top
for pages
besides the official
fortnite account
they're all the like character skins, but naked.
I mean, that's what we want.
Yeah.
What?
I'm not going to say it.
And that's just Instagram.
It's on Instagram.
You type in Fortnite to Instagram, and it's on there.
Pretty aggressive.
It's crazy.
Okay, let's see here.
If you had one completely useless superpower, what would it be?
Like just for fun?
Yeah.
What?
Remote hand.
Remote controller hand?
Remote controller hand.
Or I could just use...
Universal remote hand?
I have a universal remote.
Universal remote hand, that's so good.
And it turns into a remote too.
It's like a fucking weird...
Yeah, I just sit there and it turns into the exact remote we need.
My pinky would be a phone charger or any charger I need.
Pinky is a phone charger.
It's pretty useful.
Yeah, that's actually way too useful.
That's too strong of a power, dude.
Oh, hold on.
You need to charge?
Just E.T. it up into it.
I'm thinking, like, turn into, like, a car.
That's also useful.
It's very useful.
It's called being a transformer.
It's impossible to think of something that's useless.
Well, not useless, I guess.
I guess stupid.
Just dumb.
Yeah.
You're not a superhero.
You just got a beta power.
Yeah, like my arms turn into two wheels,
and I'm just like a hot wheel.
You don't even fully turn into a car.
That's a good one.
What do we got, Henry?
I don't know. Maybe just be able to hold my a car. That's a good one. What have we got, Henry? I don't know.
Maybe just be able to hold my breath forever.
That'd be fun.
It's useful, but what are you going to do in your life?
You know what I'm saying?
You're at the beach.
You're like, yo, watch this.
He just comes back in two hours.
I'm going to go swim to Hawaii.
It's pretty useless, but kind of tight.
Bank's getting robbed.
Nobody fucking please.
I got this one man survive.
Any tunnel you drive through with the fam.
There you go.
Yeah.
You got it.
That's good shit.
Oh,
we're so smart.
Let's see.
Morgan. I saw something the other day that I thought of you for,
because you've been repping the Kohl's Cash card for a little while now.
Oh, yeah, the Kohl's Cash.
So I was at the store the other day, and this guy,
you know how you can print whatever you want on your credit card?
He had an Uno Reverse card printed on his credit card.
That's dope.
Really?
And to hand it to the person and see them go,
you can't use that here and then realize the card would be i think you would love that i think you would run that's what you think for sure that's fair because you could just
film the reaction of every single person every time there's no way they're not like i'm not
paying for this that'll be 37.95 oh oh really you guys have anything else
alright I got a thinker
nice discussion topic
if you could live forever
would you
is there a way to die
or no way to die
it's impossible for you to die
I'm Wolverine
fuck yeah why not
it's a pretty fun life,
you know?
Yeah.
Am I at,
what age am I at?
Um,
so now,
yeah,
just,
you get to stay at,
right,
this exact second.
You get to stay exact,
yeah,
we're,
we're,
we're peaked out.
Uh,
maybe.
I thoroughly enjoy being alive.
I think I,
yeah,
I mean,
I think the, the only, the only like, big fan, the think the only debate I've heard to this
is you wouldn't have any urgency
to do anything important with your life.
You wouldn't be motivated to do fuck all.
But you'd have forever to figure something out.
But you'd find something interesting to do.
You'd want to find something interesting.
When you could also do that thing interesting for 30 years and then do something completely different exactly you'd have like a
million careers exactly whatever you want that's kind of cool yeah like i'll go live in a fucking
jungle for a whole lifetime and then come back and the only thing i'm thinking negative about
is i have to find like a whole group of friends like 10 times no you all you all live yeah wait
yeah are you the only one who lives forever? Does everyone live forever?
Yeah, if everyone lives forever, yeah, sign me up.
My uncle was 93.
My uncle was 93 years old, and he had no friends from his original days,
and he just had friends back decades.
Yeah, I was going to say, if you're the only one.
He had to move back to a bunch of 60-year-olds.
I think I'd say if I was the only one to live forever, no.
Because you just watch everyone that you knew die,
and then you just have to restart life.
You have to restart.
Because think about this.
You need some kids.
Let's say right now you don't age anymore, and then we get old.
It's like, do you hang out with us until we're 60?
Holy shit.
Yeah, right?
I'm still raging, and you guys are in a fucking nursing home.
Yeah, I feel like I'm barely able to walk.
If you're the only one, I'd say no. no yeah i'm saying no just because like i enjoy it now but yeah if everyone
did then obviously fuck yeah let's run it up like i want to well how about this if you were uh if
you're gonna live forever and you could live a different have a different career what would be
your next career that you would live life through again i actually have that written down i thought
about this before. Yeah.
What are you picking then?
If I had to go different from what I answered with this last time.
Well, it could be the same.
I think that was like a confident answer.
Well, I said like I'd give a shot
at trying to be a comedian probably.
Yeah, I'd probably go with like acting.
But if I had to do something different.
If I had to do something different
from doing nothing. I'd just start golfing
at like 5 years old
that would be tough not to pick
if I just have
a billion years
to figure out how to putt
at least gonna take a billion for you
you'd still suck ass
considering I've been playing golf for 4 years now
and I haven't gotten any better yet, then yeah.
You need forever to figure that out.
At this rate, forever.
You're going to need eternity.
That's up there for sure.
But I think I'd still pick it.
What about you, Henry?
I don't know.
I'd probably try to be an elite athlete of some sort.
An MMA fighter.
What would my life look like if I was just trying to be
a mixed martial arts fighter?
That'd be wild.
Or like a Wall Street tycoon hedge fund
crazy guy.
Just a ruthless businessman.
Jordan Belfort vibes.
What else?
I don't know.
You're not going with surfing at all?
Oh yeah, pro surfer?
Life as a pro surfer would be sick.
Yeah, for sure.
I couldn't think of a cooler life. I've always wanted to be a surfer? I thought you were going to say that immediately. Life as a pro surfer would be sick. Yeah, for sure.
I couldn't think of a cooler life.
I've always wanted to be a surfer.
I can't do it, though.
It's fucking hard. That would be something that would, again,
take me an infinite amount of life.
It's so much harder than people understand.
Remember when we tried to surf?
We almost died, yeah.
We went to Hawaii, and we did the classic,
they take you to the easy beach,
and push you and start you, and we're up doing it.
And we're hyped, and we're like, oh, we got got this so we go back to the surf shop where we rented the
boards and we're like where's the where's the real waves at send us over and he sends us over to he's
like oh okay if you want to do it this will be fun to watch so he sent us over to like the locals
beach and we're literally probably takes us an hour to get out past the break oh that's like
the hardest part literally Literally, get out.
And there's literally
like a group of locals
just sitting over there
laughing at us.
Because not only
for the reason that
it's taking us forever
to get out,
we're also trying to get out
where there's a giant reef.
So sketch.
And on the way back in,
we're like,
we finally get out
past everything.
We're like,
fuck, we got to get back in.
Org, his board pops up,
hits him in the head.
He's got a knot. He's got an absolute knot if it would have hit me any harder i could
have just knocked out oahu uh i think we're in kawaii why yeah or was it gnarly i forget either
one of the islands the big one kawaii oahu but uh and then me on the way in the entire bottom
side of my board just scrapes a whole reef and just rips it to shreds.
And so we get back in and we're like, well, we—
Nobody was, like, supervising you?
That's what we were thinking.
Like, the locals are just over there laughing at us.
It's like, no leashes, bro.
They're laughing at us, not telling us, you're going to die.
Dude, there's a lot of ways to die out there, for sure.
I fucking—
Actually, surfing has the least amount of injuries out of any sport.
The least amount. The impact is any sport. The least amount.
The impact is super low.
Less than like basketball, football, soccer, all that shit.
It's like literally no impact.
Most deaths, though.
What?
Most deaths, though.
Most shark attacks, for sure, though.
Oh, most deaths.
Yeah, it's got to be.
No.
Because if it's any more than like a dozen.
How many people die playing football and shit?
It's like later on. You know what I mean? The damage happens later on shit it's like i'm like the middle it's like it's like
later on you know what i mean it's just like the damage happens later on it's like a heart
condition like no it's like you're you have cte yeah that's not you're not dying playing the sport
though but i'm saying it's caused by it i know a lot of people that have been attacked by sharks
but really you know a lot oh i have like five good friends that have been see that's why i don't
fuck with those it's like they're very survivable. We're not
in South Africa or Australia or anything.
Like Great Whites. I don't fuck with the ocean.
I have my friends that just have
shark bites on their calves.
One of my friends got his arm mangled by a bull shark.
He was on shark week and shit.
Really? Yeah.
Jesus. Yeah, dude. The ocean,
it's just basically everything in there is designed
to fucking kill you.
This is like
when anyone asked me, would you rather be in a fight
with a shark or a tiger?
Give me the tiger a million times.
No way. Here's my reason though.
At least I'm on land
where I'm quick.
The tiger's quicker.
But in water, if the tiger's
going to go after you, it's trying to kill you.
Sharks aren't trying to kill you. aren't trying to kill you they're just mistaking you for
It also sharks don't have paws that will fucking
So you get a knife
Give me a knife still dying from the time, but I'm just so not scared of not being able to see that's the thing
That's fucking coming at me see it just a tiger will fuck you up
Like I'm ready for it,
I think I'm going shark.
But I'm like,
a shark's just going to come up out of nowhere.
Here's the thing with the water though, right?
So like a tiger's running at you,
you could like dive to the side.
That's not good.
Dude, no.
Agile?
In the water.
Do you know how agile tigers are?
Oh, I'm saying I at least have some athleticism.
In the water,
I could see the shark coming at me.
Like I could see a million feet deep and I could see the shark and i'm still you can't see him in what universe can you see if
i could oh if you could if i could you can't just i can't move dude that happened to me my friend
before we were sitting in this super sharky spot in uh florida and the sharks are like not huge
they're not like great whites but one just was charging at me and my friend and he just had us
we've like put our hand in the water and splash it. And it turned away. We're like,
but the fin was out in the water.
It was like,
Oh my God.
I would fully,
but they're like,
they're like little,
they're like five feet.
You know,
they're not like the most common shark in like Florida.
Black tip.
Oh,
black tip reef sharks.
Fuck that.
The one that fucked my friend up though was a bull shark.
Yeah.
Those are the gnarly boys,
right?
Yeah.
Like his arm,
bro.
If you saw pictures of his arm,
you'd be like,
dude,
how does he still have it?
You got steam rays, jellyfish, sharks.
I'm not going in the fucking ocean.
Jellyfish suck.
I've been, I got like a man o' war wrapped around me before.
Oh God.
And your whole body gets like paralyzed.
And my left leg was just like paralyzed.
I was like, I can't drive home, bro.
Can you drive home?
Dude, that is.
Is it painful or is it just paralytic?
Oh, it's so fucking painful.
Man o' war?
Dude.
That's like the big daddies, right?
That's the big daddy. Yeah. Fuck that. You're not going to die, but. Those are. That's like the big daddies, right? That's the big daddy.
Yeah, fuck that.
You're not going to die, but it's-
Those are the ones that look like floating trash bags, right?
Yeah, they're like purple.
They're like purple bags.
And they're super long.
Dude, people ask, what would an alien look like?
The whole ocean is full of aliens.
That is a fucking alien.
It doesn't have any structure or brain or anything.
It's just this floating thing.
Death thing.
Yeah, floating fucking stingy fucker. All right, I get it why people wouldn't want to be surfing. structure or like brain or anything. It's just this floating death thing. Yeah.
Floating fucking stingy fucker.
I get it.
Why people wouldn't want to be a, yeah,
I don't like those.
I'm a big pool guy.
Huge.
Like if I'm,
I'm like at like a resort and it's on the beach,
catch me in the pool for real.
I'll go lay on the sand,
the tub,
the lay on the sand,
but I'm going in the pool,
the short end when it comes to cooling off,
not going in the ocean.
Yeah. Even besides the creatures, you can die from a fucking wave true you could for sure you get
held under by a wave get taken out by the wind so if a wave would definitely fuck you up now you're
just being i was being vulnerable and you kind of exposed it you know you doubled down on me
you want to um cap us off daddy yeah henry you got anything uh you want to plug on the show or
anything while we got my shit? Listen to my shit.
Huh?
Listen to my shit.
Listen to Henry Fong.
You're just at Henry Fong on everything, correct?
Soon to be hooked on Fong.
Like DJ Henry Fong, right?
Yeah, I think it's DJ Henry Fong on Instagram.
Okay, beautiful.
The guy that took at Henry Fong, when he gave it to me,
I offered him $500.
He's in China and he said no.
Really?
It's like brawl Venmo.
The guy who has FOMO on Twitter has been inactive since 2012. I offered him $500. He's in China and he said no. It's like brawl Venmo.
The guy who has FOMO on Twitter has been inactive since 2012.
Can we message Twitter
and tell them to fucking deactivate his account?
Please.
So what are we at?
We're at FOMOMusic underscore.
At FOMOMusic underscore.
Other than that, Henry, thank you so much
for rocking out with the boys today. Sunday fun day.
Sunday fun day. Couple ales.
Couple combos.
Jesus.
Cut it.
Maybe one too many ales.
All right, ladies and gents.
You guys cleaned up, man.
Yeah, we definitely powered you. Episode eight in the books.
Episode eight in the books. Thanks for listening.
Smash the fucking like and subscribe.
We appreciate the shit out of all that.
We will catch you on the flip-flop.