No Such Thing As A Fish - 127: No Such Thing As 'Carry On Colliding'
Episode Date: August 19, 2016Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss man-made earthquakes, the world's least favourite font, and how this episode will end up on the moon. ...
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Hello, and welcome to another episode of No Such Thing as a Fish, a weekly podcast coming
to you from the QI offices in Covert Garden.
My name is Dan Schreiber.
I'm sitting here with Anna Chazinski, Alex Bell, and James Harkin.
Once again, we have gathered around the microphones with our four favorite facts from the last
seven days, and in no particular order, here we go.
Starting with you, Alex.
My fact this week is that this episode of No Such Thing as a Fish is going to the moon.
That's a bold claim, Mr Bell.
It's absolutely true.
How are we doing that?
Basically, a couple of years ago, I contributed to a Kickstarter campaign for a pro, a UK
lander to go land on the moon around 2024, they hope.
It's called Lunar Mission 1, and the idea is that they're going to send it to the south pole of the
moon, drill down 100 meters, and take some rock samples and do some science, but also it's going
to leave a time capsule there, and in that time capsule, people who've donated to the Kickstarter
campaign get a little bit of digital space, and so I'm going to put this episode in.
So are you doing that because you just want to get this as far away from all things in existence as
possible?
Also, we got drunk last night, and Dan had the idea, and I didn't read how to say no.
We got really drunk, and I was like, we're definitely doing this.
Alex had all these plans of his family portraits to go up to the moon.
That's my legacy gone.
It's interesting, though, because it's not going up for the other eight years.
About, I don't know the word, about 2024, either.
I've heard that before in big projects.
But it's an interesting Kickstarter, because if they can pull this off, it actually just
completely alters how we can fund universal travel, basically.
I mean, we could, who knows, maybe we'll be able to kick start something to Mars as well.
Yeah, let's just try and get this podcast further and further away from Planet Earth,
rescue human society.
Can I ask, because they're drilling down, and it's 150 degrees Celsius, I think, down there,
is it going to be protected in some capsule?
I don't know, I guess so.
They haven't yet told us how much space they have or anything like that, so it's still pretty vague,
all the plans.
God, so we might have to just record a five-minute podcast or something.
We don't know how many megabytes.
We'll just send a Squarespace ad.
Do you know the first thing off the internet that was sent to space?
Something off eBay.
So close, but even Lamer, it was a bunch of Craigslist adverts.
Really?
Yeah, so it was in 2005, and Craigslist, the website, which I'm not sure is any longer in action.
Oh, it is, yeah, James is a frequent user.
It sent up about 138,000 ads, I think, Craigslist ads, and you could just tick a little box that
said, please beam this into space, and they'd beam them into space.
This was sort of digital stuff encoded onto light.
Yes, exactly.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I was sending the data out there.
So I was looking this up, and I found the reference on the Craigslist page to it,
after it happened, saying that they really wanted to remind people that you could not
cancel Craigslist ads that were beamed into space or retrieve them.
Sorry, guys.
So actually, there's just going to be loads of pissed-off aliens eventually come in going,
you said you had a sofa, and they're saying, no, sorry, I sold that.
Actually, what Independence Day was, the fury of when they realized the sofa had now been
sold, they just demolished her.
I don't suppose light's the best thing to get your message into space, though, is it?
They think Radio Waves is the best.
I think it was that by Radio Waves.
Was it?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, so 2024, obviously quite a while away for us to make it to the moon,
and I thought, is that the closest that we're sending probes now?
But actually, there's a lot of probes that seem to be set to go.
The Google Lunar XPrize has been set up, and the idea is that they want someone to not only
land on the moon, but travel 500 meters on the moon, because anyone could crash a thing
into the moon.
The idea is, can you land something on the moon and make it functional and still move?
So they've set up this idea of a prize, and the prize is $30 million.
What's interesting, though, is that teams have now realized that it's going to cost them way
too much to get there on their own, so a lot of them are pairing up now and sending all of
the vehicles in one trip, which means they're going to land at the same time, and there's
going to be a moon race to see which is the first one to travel 500 meters.
It's going to be like the Hunger Games, and as soon as they land, it's just going to be
absolute carnage.
All the robots are going to turn on each other.
Yeah, so it's going to be more like Robot Wars.
It will be like Robot Wars on the moon.
I was reading of things that are already on the moon.
I think we might have discussed a few of them before, but
we, as human beings, have left 187,400 kilograms of material on the moon,
and that's almost exactly the same weight as a blue whale.
Really? That is actually much less than I would have thought.
Yeah, the largest blue whale that we've ever found was 176,000,
but scientists think we'll find some that are over 180,000.
So basically, what we could have done is just taken one blue whale off the earth,
put it on the moon, and it would have had the same effect.
Would have achieved exactly the same.
The moon is officially metric and not imperial,
just because you said kilograms, it reminded me.
Who decided that?
NASA decided, I think, and then everyone else had to agree to it.
But then, given that there's only like two countries in the world that are still
imperial, and I think it's America or something like Liberia or something,
it would have been pretty weird to go with that,
although maybe not because it's NASA.
You never know. Yeah, the aliens might land again and go,
why are these guys using this metric system?
The imperial makes much more sense.
Well, the thing is, there's no reason why the aliens would use anything like metric.
In fact, they wouldn't, because that metric is based on the size of the earth, or the meter is.
So really, you want to do it on like the width of a hydrogen atom or something like that.
Something that will be universal, yeah.
They might be measuring it like according to the diameter of their hands,
which are the size of elephants or something.
That's the interesting species of alien.
You know, I didn't know about the fallen astronaut sculpture on the moon,
and that it's kind of a sad story.
So this is one of the things that we've left behind on the moon,
is this sculpture called the Fallen Astronaut.
And it was agreed that that would be put on the moon by this artist called Paul van Hoedonck.
So he agreed with David Scott, who was on the 1971 Apollo mission,
that he would design a sculpture that David Scott says was supposed to represent
all astronauts who had fallen up until that point.
So any astronauts who died trying to get to space or being in space.
And Scott smuggled it into his pocket of his space suit.
So NASA didn't know.
Nobody knew it was there.
And Scott went up to the moon and he got off the spacecraft.
And one of his colleague astronauts distracted the people down at mission control,
apparently, with banal talk, while he performed some kind of little funeral ceremony.
That's the worst kind of talk to distract someone.
You're right.
Maybe he just didn't have scintillating talk in him.
But anyway, he put this thing on the moon, gave a little funeral ceremony for it,
and he'd lay it down and then came back down.
And it was announced that this is now on the moon.
And this argument ensued ever since between the artist and NASA.
Because the artist says, A, it was meant to be standing upright and it's not.
B, it doesn't represent fallen astronauts.
It represents just humanity.
And C, he says he never agreed that he wouldn't make it a commercial thing.
So he tried to sell a whole bunch of them on Earth.
And NASA were like, no, because I think you're not allowed to commercialize stuff
that you've taken to the moon.
So yeah, it's kind of sad this little sculpture on the moon
is supposed to represent humanity and how great we are as now kind of a testament
to how we can't really agree on anything.
I think it's weird how they always seem to smuggle stuff into space
when you can't even get toothpaste onto an aeroplane.
Oh, do they not have that bit where you have to empty your keys?
I know.
So they actually take the moon boots off.
Also, the weirdest thing that's left on the moon was nail clippers.
Because they only went out there for a couple of weeks
and they were trying to keep the weight down to a minimum.
And yet they took nail clippers with them.
Such a great point.
Maybe it's like how you know your nails go a bit faster in summer,
maybe in space your nails grow 12 miles an hour.
Actually, it's kilometers per hour.
I was looking into what Neil Armstrong took back from the moon.
And this is really interesting.
This wasn't discovered until 2012 until after Neil Armstrong died.
His wife was going through his cupboard just like in their house.
And there was a white bag in there.
She opened it up and it had all this stuff from the moon landing,
including the camera that filmed the famous...
Yeah, exactly.
They had the scratch, the lighting rig.
Yeah, the camera that filmed him saying the famous words that we all saw,
that was in the bag and all these other instruments.
And so no one knew that he had this bag.
Usually you would leave that bag or any of the equipment that was in it
on the moon as part of the rubbish.
But he brought it back.
He just didn't tell anyone.
They went through quarantine.
So you think they had to show everything?
Yeah.
Well, it sounds like everyone was sneaking.
So it sounds like the security is not that tight.
And then he's such a filth pig that he didn't clean his house for 50 years.
Didn't even go through his cupboards.
I was reading a list of all the languages,
all the greetings that we sent out into space on the Voyager Golden Record.
So, you know, that thing that was Carl Sagan's brainchild.
We sent this thing up into space,
which has 55 different greetings and 55 different languages on it.
And most people said hello or hi guys, hello to space.
But the Turkish one began with dear Turkish speaking friends.
Especially since Turkish is a language that was created within the last 100 years as well.
So they're in assuming space is caught on.
There's a greeting in Amoy, which is a Chinese dialect,
which says friends of space, how are you all?
Have you eaten yet?
Come visit us if you have time.
That is fantastic.
Sounds like they're offering themselves up as dishes.
Huge error.
And then the last one is just, I think this person got confused
because one person would receive the recording device to record it on.
So the Swedish greeting is greetings from a computer programmer
in the little university town of Ithaca on the planet Earth,
who clearly didn't quite understand.
He was supposed to be speaking for his name.
Isn't there some whale song on there?
One thing that's recently gone into space
is the new football kit of Reading FC.
Who did a kit launch.
A few weeks ago.
And they sent their home and away strips up to 128,000 feet,
four times the cruising altitude of a passenger jet.
And then they returned to Earth at a speed of 211 miles per hour.
And the news article I read said,
Reading will be hoping the team can rise as high in the table
as their shirts can in altitude
before presumably plummeting down the table at 200 miles an hour.
Okay, it is time for fact number two.
And that is Chuzenski.
My fact this week is that geologists have made an earthquake
by dropping something heavy from somewhere high.
Is it a Reading football kit?
Are they made of iron?
No wonder they're so bad.
No, so what I like about this is I think if you were five years old
and you wondered how am I going to make an earthquake?
You just pick up a heavy object and drop it.
And this seems to be what they've done.
And this is these geologists, Sebastian Gweno and Stefan Brule,
who are trying to simulate earthquakes
to work out the best ways to minimize damage from them.
And there was just one reference I read in a PBS article
to the fact that in one test,
they dropped a mass of 21 tons from a height of 164 feet
to simulate an earthquake.
And the shaking registered between two and three on the Richter scale.
And they did it another way,
which sounded like a more sensible way maybe
by putting a vibrating probe thing into the ground
and then vibrating it underground.
And that sent seismic waves out, which is also a way to measure it.
But what they're looking into is really interesting,
which is that if you drill holes in the ground,
not particularly deep holes,
that dissipates the waves that come from earthquakes.
So what they did was they, this was in 2012,
they drilled these boreholes into the ground,
just a few feet, and then they generated this earthquake nearby.
And the waves that they measured in the second row of boreholes,
so just 11 feet away from where they'd created the earthquake,
the earthquake had been stopped,
and usually it would travel 160 feet.
So these holes just deflect the waves
and cause them to go elsewhere.
The problem is that they deflect them in a different direction.
So behind the boreholes,
suddenly was twice as much vibrations as in front of it.
So it's not a good idea for in a city,
if you were doing it to protect one building,
you'd do it at the expense of another one.
It sounds a bit like,
do you remember we talked about the volcanoes,
where they dug ditches to move the volcanic lava away from a city
into another city?
Oh yes, yeah.
It's exactly like that.
It's like screwing over your neighbor
by diverting the earthquake towards there.
Yeah.
So Alex's fact was about Kickstarter doing this project
to get us to the moon,
and I saw this amazing crowdfunding thing
for someone's invention,
which is an earthquake-proof bed.
Have you guys seen this?
Oh yes, oh my god.
It's unbelievable.
It's so good.
It's this huge metallic contraption,
and the idea is that as soon as your building or your house
is in the middle of an earthquake,
the bed recognizes it's an earthquake,
and it literally slams down in the middle,
so you disappear into the middle of the bed.
What?
A huge lid comes on top of you,
and you're just stuck in this bunker of your own bed.
I have a question.
How did they make sure that the bed
can tell a difference between an earthquake
and an extremely rigorous set?
Did the earth move for you?
Well, it didn't, but the bed thought it did.
Inside it has bottles of water,
it's got oxygen tanks,
it's got anything that you would need to survive.
But how does it protect you?
Because surely if you're in a house
that's crumbling down around you
and you want to escape it,
now you're locked in a bed.
So it's the idea of being that this is so strong
that the house would just crumble around it,
but not affect the box itself.
So it would give you time to be rescued, I guess.
Yeah, and it sends pulses out that firefighters
and anyone who's digging up the rubble
can sense where you are,
because there's like a message, an SOS message going out.
Yeah, it looks nuts.
There's an app you can get that I read about,
which is called My Shake,
where you have it in your pocket
and it can detect earthquakes and seismic activity
and then do real-time updates
so people can see when there's been earthquakes.
Does it like vibrate?
Did you know you can get negative earthquakes, technically?
Because when the Richter scale was invented,
it's a logarithmic scale,
so the smallest detectable amount of earthquakes
was one when they made the Richter scale,
and then it kind of goes up from there.
But since then our technology has got better,
so we're able to detect even smaller earthquakes than that.
An earthquake that registers as minus one on the Richter scale
is a hundredth the strength of an earthquake
that they originally made.
Yeah, it's something like a feather landing on a table or something.
I remember I read an XKCD comic about it.
Minus one thousand on the Richter scale
would be something like an atom hitting another atom or something.
You'd be really annoyed if your earthquake sensing device
went off every time it sends to minus one earthquake.
How do I change the settings on this thing?
Plenty described how in ancient Greece
they used to mitigate earthquake damage
by putting sheepskin in the foundations of their buildings.
So they'd bury them, put a layer of sheepskin,
and the idea was that it would stop bits of earth
sliding over each other.
And we employ vaguely similar technologies today
if we put springs and stuff in the foundations of buildings.
Aren't they trying to put coconuts now?
What?
They're trying to harness coconut technology.
This is coconuts, a self-made far advance than we are.
It's about time we use some of their technology.
No, yeah, coconuts, apparently,
they're very good at absorbing certain things.
And they're trying to work out the makeup of the coconut
that allows for it to absorb so well
that they can then apply to technology.
Shall we move on soon?
One quite interesting thing about making earthquakes.
The father of seismology is a guy called Robert Mallet,
and he was from Ireland.
But there aren't any earthquakes in Ireland.
The highest one ever recorded was two on the Richter scale.
But what he did was he set explosions up on the beach
and measured the explosions.
So using dynamites and stuff like that.
That's annoying for those on beach other days.
Okay, it is time for fact number three, and that is James.
Okay, my fact this week is that until 1970,
you could still buy men-only flights in America.
This is extraordinary.
Yeah, it makes no sense.
So explain the logic and then we'll pick it up.
So this was United Airlines,
and for about two decades until 1970,
you could buy these flights between New York and Chicago
or between LA and San Francisco that were for men only.
And the idea was I think they were for businessmen,
and you were going to have no women and no children on board.
And according to the advert which I saw online,
it said you'll enjoy the informal club-like atmosphere
smoke your pipe or cigar if you wish,
and make yourself comfortable using the pair of slippers provided.
Wow.
I mean obviously it's ridiculous,
but I think they wanted to replicate the idea of a gentleman's only club,
for instance, which still existed then and still exists now.
But the flight attendants were female.
They were, yeah.
Yeah, so famously stewardesses have had very strict appearance
rules that they have to abide by in the past.
So I think the very first stewardesses had to weigh less than eight stone two,
which is microscopic, and they had to be under 25 and less than five foot four,
which is extremely short.
Wow.
So I was reading about the first air stewardess ever, Ellen Church,
so this was for Boeing Air Transport.
She saw an advert for a cabin boys.
They were trying to get people more confident about air flight,
and she persuaded Boeing Air Transport to give her the job on the basis that
why don't you put women on,
and then people will see that if women can do it, then men can definitely do it.
Yeah.
And just to say, she was actually a pilot.
She went and said I'm a pilot, I can fly this plane,
and they were like, no, we don't believe you're going to fly a plane.
It's just, okay, I'll be here.
There's only 4,000 female pilots around the world out of 130,000 furrowites.
Wow.
Yeah.
That's nuts.
But I was looking at some of the things she had to do,
and they had to carry a spanner and a screwdriver in their pocket
so that they could fix the wicker chairs that the passengers sat into the floor of the aircraft,
because apparently that was not the thing that was already done for them.
And one of the other jobs was that if a plane ever had to make an emergency landing
in like a field due to bad weather,
they were responsible for knocking down the fences so that it could take back off again.
Because these were sort of in the early days of commercial flights,
so it was mainly mail planes, I mean postage.
Oh yeah, because that was another justification for the small size they asked women to be.
It said we need to fit as much mail on board as possible,
as if you weigh nine stone, then you can't fit that extra parcel on.
As much mail as possible, and as little female as possible.
The first female commercial airline captain in Britain was called Yvonne Sintes.
She was a pilot for the UK based airline Dan Air from 1975 until her retirement in 1980.
Well good for you Dan.
This is great.
Unfortunately things went downhill for Dan Air,
and they were sold to British Airways in 1992 for ÂŁ1.
There's an airline that I found that I really like.
I hope it's still going, but it was launched in 2008,
and it was the world's first nude airline, so it was for nudists.
Bonus, very quick to go through security.
Yes.
I thought you were saying bonus.
So it was a very specific route that they were taking them on,
which was from a German city, Erfurt,
and they were going to a Baltic Sea resort.
The thing was though, is that you can't arrive at the airport naked.
So what they would do is they would come with their clothes,
and they would get on the plane,
and then all take their clothes off when they were on the plane,
and then when they landed,
or had to put their clothes back on to get off the plane.
Imagine if you're the one person who's accidentally
booked tickets on that, and you get on that plane,
it takes off, and you look around like, what is happening?
My favourite airline I found is North Korea's airline, Air Koryo.
Have you seen these guys?
They're the world's only airline that Skytrax has rated one star,
so they're the worst airline.
And I was looking some of the complaints that people have posted on,
including that the in-flight entertainment for the two-hour flight
was basically North Korean propaganda,
that the seats tilted forwards rather than backwards, the plane.
And then during the flight,
both pilots came around to say hello,
presumably leaving aircraft on autopilot.
Just on in-flight entertainment in the 1950s,
when it was a rare and exciting thing to be flying.
Well, first of all,
it was so exotic that people would wear evening dress onto a flight.
So you'd go in like...
That's just getting onto the flight when you take it off.
And second of all, you'd automatically be given a postcard
when you boarded by the stewardesses,
and that was...
So the idea was that during the flight,
you'd write a postcard to your friends back home talking about the flight,
because that's what they want to hear about.
There's new services that are happening now.
KLM, the Royal Dutch Airlines, they now do a thing.
So you know when you're checking in
and you can select the seats that you want?
They're now attaching Facebook profiles to the seats,
so you can actually decide who you'd like to sit next to.
So there's the creepy element
that you might sit yourself next to at the opposite sex.
Yeah, and I can't think of any other element.
Weirdly, the other element for...
They say, the other element for a lot of people is
they don't want to be near kids,
and so you look to where families are sitting
and you can sit yourself as far away from the family.
Wait, and is that if you're a first come, first serve kind of thing?
So, because surely everyone would say,
I want to be near that one really attractive person,
and no one wants to sit next to the really smelly looking guy?
The smelly looking guy.
Yeah, from his Facebook profile.
He's got little wavy lines above his face.
There's a green smoke coming up out of his seat.
Okay, it is time for our final fact of the show,
and that is my fact.
My fact is that the discovery of the Higgs boson
was announced in Comic Sans.
This is the big multi-billion dollar machine
that is looking for something to unify science
with a missing God particle that was found,
and they chose Comic Sans the font to announce it in.
And why not?
And why not?
It's, yeah, a really good point.
What was amazing was if you were online at the time
when the Higgs boson was announced,
you probably remember this story
because it called such a huge commotion.
And everyone was on Twitter and all social media
making all these angry points about it,
including a guy called Vincent Connard,
who was saying this is ridiculous that they use Comic Sans.
Vincent Connard invented Comic Sans.
Well, his argument that he designed it only for children and...
Well, he's designed for Comic Box, wasn't he?
Well, it was inspired by Comic Box.
It was inspired by The Watchman, weirdly, actually.
And Dark Knight Returns,
two seminal Comic books that couldn't be further away
from the kind of integrity that Comic Sans brings to the table.
But I'm totally on his side because he invented it.
Microsoft commissioned him to design
a very friendly, approachable font
for a very specific program for kids
and people who aren't really good at computers.
It's actually not a bad font to use for that,
but it's just very misused all around the world.
And so this guy gets a lot of hate for inventing a font
that's actually, it's people use it in wrong places.
I think it's fine, yeah.
I don't really get the big deal about it.
Neither do I. I think it's great.
But so it's sort of for children.
It's just supposed to be a friendly,
non-aggressive, non-intimidating font, so you can...
Oh, and then all of the aggression and aggro
that these guys got from it.
Ironically, yeah.
Yeah. I mean, there's even,
there's a site called bandcomicsans.com.
It's run by a couple who met over their hatred of Comic Sans.
They got married, literally.
They say that's what brought them together,
and they started this thing.
And I've seen a documentary between Vincent Connard
talking about hearing about these people
and these people just discussing how much they hate it.
And it's really funny because he makes this point
where he says, I'm so glad that my font brought them together
because now they're together for the rest of their lives.
They're kind of there going, don't change the subject.
Maybe they did it to make the discovery
try to appear simpler to understand than it was.
If this is the purpose of Comic Sans,
perhaps it was to convince us that it was actually easier
to understand the Higgs post on Particle.
I think, literally, that is why they picked it, in all honesty.
Really? Yeah. I think they wanted to match
the complexity of what they were doing
with a friendly font that said,
this is not meant to be scaring you.
That's what it's supposed to be.
I'm talking more about these things.
It's very friendly.
No, oddly, James.
Fonts have personalities, James.
Fonts do not have personalities.
You are forcing a personality onto these things.
They're just bits of code.
Do you know that the Higgs post on the subject
of how complex it is to comprehend,
the UK Science Minister in 1993 ran a competition
to see who could provide the best explanation
to the British government of what the hell it was.
The guy who won, or one of the people who won,
was a physicist called David Miller.
He described it by saying,
an anonymous person could move through a crowd unhindered,
but if the Prime Minister moved through a crowd,
he or she would attract a lot of attention.
So party workers would clump around that person
and slow them down and give them this metaphorical mass.
And that's the equivalent of the Higgs boson.
Ah, that's a very good explanation.
I remember ages ago going out for a drink
with a couple of scientists here,
and they were saying that basically,
the reason that scientists were so wanting to say,
yes, let's find the Higgs boson,
is then we'd be able to build the LHC.
And what that meant was, effectively,
was they didn't know what they were looking for,
but they said it would be the equivalent
of just going out fishing and throwing your rod out
into the lake or the ocean.
So the Higgs boson was the excuse,
but actually they just wanted to go fishing.
Right. Well, the Higgs boson,
I think I'm right in saying there's been a bit of a disappointment,
because it kind of just does what everyone expected it to do.
This is confusing.
This is what Stephen Hawking said, wasn't it?
He said it was disappointing, because of that.
And it's like, surely you're happy, guys.
You are happy, but if it had done something really weird,
then suddenly it opens up whole new bits of science,
and science becomes really exciting.
If it just fits perfectly,
you know, it's like doing a jigsaw,
and you've got one more piece in,
and it goes in and you're finished,
or if the last one doesn't go in right,
then maybe you've got some other stuff wrong,
and everything's been...
You've got to tear it apart and try it again.
Maybe if they'd announced it in a more exciting font,
like Wingdings or something.
Just on fonts having personalities.
They do not have personalities.
There was a study that suggested that you're more likely to believe
that a statement is true,
if it's written in a sensible, weighty font
and like Baskerville, for example,
that's a very trustworthy font.
Whereas Comic Sans, you're not likely to believe it's true.
The people who did bancomicsans.com,
they showed examples of...
There's a lawyer firm in America
that has their name written in Comic Sans outside,
and they're going,
you're not going to trust that lawyer,
the lawyer who writes in Comic Sans.
And they said,
if you see something that says wet paint,
and it's written in Comic Sans,
you're going to touch that wall.
And then I thought, okay, you're losing your argument.
Yeah, this is getting a bit desperate.
There was a Dutch war memorial
that had something engraved on it in Comic Sans,
which is really inappropriate as well.
I was looking a bit more into CERN,
just the history of CERN,
and there's a few famous things I think a lot of people know.
For example, the first image that was ever put on the internet
was of a band that worked at CERN.
The CERNettes.
Yeah, the CERNettes.
So I just looked into them a tiny bit,
and they're actually,
I think more people should listen to them and check it out,
because it's genuinely like,
it's really good lyrics and really funny stuff.
Oh yeah, they're really good.
There's a song called Collider,
and it was, the song is about the frustration
that Michelle de Gennaro had
with the fact that her boyfriend was always going away
and working on the LHC
and not spending enough time with her,
because they were all so busy doing what they're doing.
So she wrote Collider, and the lyrics are,
I gave you a golden ring to show you my love.
You went to stick it in a printed circuit
to fix a voltage leak in your collector.
You plug my feelings into your detector.
You never spend your nights with me.
You don't go out with other girls either.
You only love your Collider.
Your Collider.
There's a really good lyrics.
Well, all right, though.
The thing is, I'm not sure many people
can really relate to those lyrics.
My boyfriend's obsessed with his Collider.
It's just being a workaholic.
A lot of people complain about their partners
being workaholics.
So what you're saying is,
this is basically Rihanna's work, work, work.
Yes, exactly, and I think they should too,
because there's a lot of plagiarism going on here.
You know, Sun, do you know what it stands for?
I can't believe I didn't know this.
I'm guessing you guys all do.
It's French, but I can't remember.
So it's French.
It stands for nothing now.
So it was the Conseil européenne pour la recherche nucléaire.
So the Council for European Nuclear Research.
But the name of that was changed
to the organisation of nuclear research.
So it should have been OERN,
and this was many, many years ago.
And they just thought,
Ouhern sounds a bit rubbish.
So let's just call it Sun.
Ouhern sounds like it could be like a carion.
Carion colliding or something.
I think it should be called Ouhern.
We got anything before we move on, guys?
Yeah, I just got one more thing on fonts.
I was just looking up kind of weird fonts.
And if you go to dotsys.org,
it's a font, but they're trying to reinvent
what the alphabet is.
So every letter of the alphabet,
this person who designed it argues,
is very inefficient because it takes up so much space.
So what he's done is,
basically it's like a couple of pixels for each letter.
And it's basically like Braille, but for the eyes.
If you go to the website,
you can read a whole paragraph,
and it starts off in normal text.
And then the letters get more and more distorted
until you're reading something
that is actually completely illegible if you look at it.
Wow, but you can read it.
It's just, it looks a bit like
sort of very condensed square Braille.
And then you can kind of read it.
It takes a while.
That's amazing.
What sort of thing, the slight shape of words?
Yeah, the words they start off completely in all words.
And then they're sort of very distorted.
And then you sort of, you train your brain over.
That's very clever.
What are we going to do with all that amazing extra space
that we're going to have at the end of each book?
It's just going to be 30 like pages.
Actually, you say that.
The other thing I found about space and books
is that all of the Harry Potter books were printed
with a size 12 font,
but the order of the phoenix was printed at 0.5 smaller.
Everyone complains that the order of the phoenix
is so much longer as a book.
That's an amazing answer.
That's like the most useless bit of information.
Let's go to the moon now, Alex.
That's what we're telling the universe.
They really are.
They're turning back.
Turning back, going back where they came from.
Okay, that's it.
That's all of our facts.
Thank you so much for listening
to this special made for the moon episode.
If you would like to get in contact with any of us
about the things that we have said,
you can't.
We all died in 2023 in a tragic explosion at the QI office.
I'm still in a bed somewhere.
So please locate James or tweet him on James at Egg Shaped
or you could tweet me on at Shriverland, Alex at Alex boat
underscore and Shazinsky.
You can email podcast at qi.com.
Yep, or you can go to a qi podcast,
which is our group account or go to our website.
No such thing as a fish.com where all of our previous episodes
are waiting to be listened to.
We'll see you again next week.
Goodbye.