No Such Thing As A Fish - 539: No Such Thing As Kimchi Pirates

Episode Date: July 11, 2024

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss electric guitars, hidden tracks, and why we all love a bit of Seoul. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.  ...

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi everyone, welcome to this week's episode of No Such Thing As A Fish. Very quickly, just to remind you, we are going on tour in the very, very near future. So, if you are in Edinburgh, Bristol, Dublin, Glasgow, Newcastle, Cardiff, London or Manchester, we are coming to your city. We'll then be going off to Australia and New Zealand almost all of those tickets are sold out But if you are in the UK or Ireland then do get your tickets as soon as you possibly can It's gonna be a whole load of fun We're gonna do a podcast gonna be an all-new podcast every night
Starting point is 00:00:35 But then there's also gonna be loads of extra fun stuff happening Which you would never get if you only listen to this free podcast and the hope is that we'll be there afterwards to say hi to everyone and sign whatever you want signing and take lots of selfies because actually one of the main fun bits about doing these shows is getting to meet you guys so we can't wait to be on tour and we hope that lots of you come to join us to find out more about that and to get your tickets go to no such thing as a fish.com forward slash live where you can get links to all of the venues. Okay not much more to say apart from buy my nana's book, buy dan's book,
Starting point is 00:01:12 buy andy's book, you know our names just go onto your book selling place of choice and type them in and you'll find all the very lovingly made books by the four of us that are just right for you to buy and read over your summer holidays. But that's enough selling. Back to our bread and butter, the four of us doing our thing in the QI offices in Holborn. Really hope you enjoy the show and hopefully see lots of you on our Thing As A Fish, a weekly podcast coming to you from the QI offices in Hoburn. My name is Dan Schreiber, I'm sitting here with Anna Tyshinsky, James Harkin and Andrew Hunter Murray. Once again, we have gathered around the microphones with our four favorite facts from the last seven days and in no particular order, here we go.
Starting point is 00:02:15 Starting with fact number one, that is James. Okay, my fact this week is that if you like kimchi, you're a victim of government propaganda. So does anyone here like kimchi? Yeah, not at all. Well, I don't know what kind of weird political messages I'm propounding. Although I quite like South Korea, they're not doing too badly these days. Do you like BTS? Do you watch Squid Game? Did you enjoy Parasite at the movies? I don't know what BTS is, but the other two things I did...
Starting point is 00:02:44 Wow. Did you dance to Gangnam Style when it came out? Every day, every day. All these things are part of Hallyu, which is a South Korean government promoted push of the country's culture. And this is all about diplomatic cultural exchanges between countries. And at the moment, Korea are especially good at it. Yeah. What are they doing? Are they sort of responsible for kimchi advertising worldwide and stuff? Yes.
Starting point is 00:03:12 Or get it in front of me? Absolutely. So they might pay TV broadcasters in Europe or in the US to have documentaries about Korean dishes. They might get newspapers to write about Korean dishes. They might provide assistance to restaurants that Korean dishes, they might provide assistance to restaurants that are going to have Korean food on the menus. This is crazy because I'm obsessed with bibimbap.
Starting point is 00:03:31 Oh yeah. I love it. Same. I love it but it's only in the last few years. Well that's why because they started this around 1996. That's perfect timing. The timing matches up. So what had happened was Korea had had a problem economically.
Starting point is 00:03:47 There was a big crash around the mid 90s and the government had to ask the IMF for an emergency loan. And it was a big embarrassment to the whole country. And around the same time, Japan was making its own kimchi and they were selling that around the world, much to the chagrin of the South Koreans because the only good kimchi comes from South Korea and they put those two things together and a couple of presidents decided that they were going to rebrand the nation. I completely understand that. Yeah, I mean, countries do it all the time.
Starting point is 00:04:18 I can also see who the propagandas were. The only good kimchi in the world. Imagine if France started making pork pies. I'd be furious. And then you went and you traveled to China and they were like, oh have you heard about the French pork pies? I would feel patriotic suddenly. Yeah, so South Korean kimchi, it's all this particular kind of cabbage isn't it called a Napa cabbage? Yeah, so I should quickly say what kimchi is. It is a fermented vegetable and fish relish. You kind of get loads of vegetables and fish paste
Starting point is 00:04:49 and stuff like that. You put it in a big bundle of cabbage and then you put it in brine and you leave it to ferment and then it becomes to some people delicious. I personally can't stand it. Really? I actually I have a problem with fermented food in general. Interesting. I don't know why. It's the national dish of North and South Korea. There are two million tons of it eaten in the South alone every year. Over 60% of people in South Korea eat kimchi at three meals a day. It's a lot.
Starting point is 00:05:19 And even this is, I love this, there's a ritual, a traditional thing where every autumn families make their own kimchi, right? And I think it's called kimjang. I love this. There's a ritual, a traditional thing, where every autumn families make their own kimchi, right? And I think it's called kimjang. And it's a traditional thing, obviously not everyone does it. Some people just get this from the supermarket. But Samsung, the electronics giant, make special kimchi fridges and thousands of people in South Korea have a fridge that's just for the kimchi. I don't think thousands. I think it's 98% of the population. It's literally everyone in North Korea.
Starting point is 00:05:47 I just mean many thousands. You can specify how many. Thousands of thousands. But I just think that's stunning. And supposedly, it feels like a massive swizz to me because all those special kimchi features, I think, like it stays the same temperature. No, no, it is important because your fridge fridge at home is gonna be around three or four degrees But if you put kimchi in that fridge, it'll go off in a few days
Starting point is 00:06:08 Yeah, needs to be colder. It needs to be colder. And there needs to be less air flow going around I love that. It's got less moving air. No, no, it needs to be warmer than a freezer. I can't think of a single temperature warmer than freezing a full-time tree. Let me tell you, one degree Which is the exact temperature because the traditional way to keep it is you bury it outside. So you'd make it in the autumn, you bury it outside and during the winter it would stay at one degree. Do you think there's lots of buried kimchi still in South Korea?
Starting point is 00:06:34 Is it like squirrels do you reckon? Oh there must be. And that it's just they can never find it again. Kimchi pirates. Just going around trying to find the lost buried treasure. Mr. Kim. And then you open it and it is just rotten fishy vegetables. Is it a thing that it never goes off if it's at the right? As in if it's...
Starting point is 00:06:49 I will eventually. It can. If it's fermented. But it lasts many more months but I think it would eventually go off. Okay. Can I tell you a kimchi saying? Yeah, please. Don't drink kimchi soup thinking that someone will give you rice cake. Translation please.
Starting point is 00:07:02 thinking that someone will give you rice cake. Translation, please. Don't do that. So it's don't do something, expecting something else will happen. Yeah. So it's like look before you leap. Oh, that's quite good. Say it one more time.
Starting point is 00:07:16 Don't drink kimchi soup thinking that someone will give you rice cake. Or is it just literal? It's just, this is bad etiquette. No, there's a pretty exact analogy actually. Is there a reason you'd want rice cake. Or is it just literal? It's just, this is bad etiquette. No, there's a pretty exact analogy actually. Is there a reason you'd want rice cake after kimchi soup? It comes next in the traditional form of the meal. Right, okay.
Starting point is 00:07:34 That is what you would expect. So don't do phase one of a process, assuming someone's going to help you out with the next bit. Right, so what's the British phrase that... Is it not that? That's a very common phrase. Like my old grandma used to say, don't do phase one of the process. It's just don't count your chickens. You know, don't assume it's not guaranteed that you'll get rice cake
Starting point is 00:07:59 just because you got kimchi soup. But in that case, it sort of is guaranteed because you're having a traditional Korean meal. Yeah. I don't think that is quite exactly the same, is it? Why are you not counting your chickens? Why do you have to get, don't count your chickens? So it's like if you have 10 eggs, don't think that's definitely going to be 10 chickens because one of them might not turn into a chicken.
Starting point is 00:08:17 Okay, cool. I feel like that phrase needs a little caveat at the top that says, prior to hatching, don't count your chickens. Oh, the full saying is don't count your chickens before they've hatched. Oh, right. Dad, you've never heard this saying? No. You've never heard don't count your chickens?
Starting point is 00:08:32 That's stunning. I've heard that bit of it, weirdly. You've heard don't count your chickens? That's because everyone knows the second bit. What did you think it meant when you just heard don't count your chickens? Bad luck to count chickens. So we went to the petting zoo today. Oh, how many chickens were there?
Starting point is 00:08:47 Well, you know what they say. That's so weird. Only 7% of kimchi in Korea is commercially produced, as in that you buy it in shops. Wow. 7%. And the rest is sort of artisan? The rest is homemade.
Starting point is 00:09:03 Yeah. And it's part of this festival that one of you mentioned that Yeah, Andy mentioned Basically at one time a year everyone just makes kimchi and it's like the year right it lasts the year Yeah, and it's huge because it's like everyone does it at the same time because it's like kimchi season Yeah, so one has to buy cabbage at the same time. So the price of cabbage goes through the roof Every year it's harvest time, I guess. And then you buy it. But it's always in the news at this time every year saying, don't forget to get your cabbage
Starting point is 00:09:32 before it's don't count your cabbages. That's so cool. Apparently at the moment, there's a bit of a worrying time for kimchi in South Korea because they're actually importing more kimchi now than they're exporting. They are, it's the world has woken up to it. China particularly has woken up to it. And so if you buy kimchi in a market, let's say in the UK, it's probably more likely from China these days
Starting point is 00:09:53 than it is from South Korea. But the Chinese say it's fine because actually they invented it. I think that, yeah, they sort of claimed that a similar Chinese pickled cabbage fell under the bracket of kimchi, didn't they? I know, but it's like saying, oh oh our pork roll is actually a pork pie. Yeah exactly. It's like saying that isn't it? It's rubbish. Fermenting, huge deal at the moment, very trendy, because apparently it's
Starting point is 00:10:15 the answer to all our health problems and I am so looking forward to in 10 years time when everyone realizes that was complete bullshit. Know what? We're all going to live forever because of that. Because of the microbiome suddenly diversifying. I think it's good for you, isn't it? I'm sure it is good for you. It is obviously really drummed into us how good for you it is. And it is such an interesting process. So I didn't quite realize that the only reason fermenting happens is because it's dead.
Starting point is 00:10:40 So the bacteria that eat the cabbage or anything that ferments, the cabbage is spending its whole life fighting them off And it's just as soon as you chop it they can suddenly go for it. That's great And then it can't just be any fermenting. I think this is why you've had salt to it You can't just let any bacteria eat it because that's just rotted. It's just yeah Don't just leave cabbage out and wait for it. I was a bit confused about what is fermenting and what is rotting I thought fermentation involves the particular... is something to do with the brine and the salt and that.
Starting point is 00:11:09 It is, but I agree, I didn't know either. And it seems to be it's just about the type of bacteria that are doing it. And as long as you use the salt, so you sort of feed the right type of bacteria, they turn it, they ferment it properly. But the thing is, like, there are lots of types of bacteria that do this. And I don't want to get all antibacterial and pro bacteriophage, like I always do. But there are some bacteria that do do fermentation that are really bad for you. And so sometimes people who do like homemade fermentation, like where you're making your sourdoughs or you're making homemade kimchi or artisan cheeses
Starting point is 00:11:45 or any kind of stuff like that. If you get the wrong kind of bacteria, it can make you sick. And most people would be fine. Like for the four of us around here would probably be fine. But you know, if you have underlying health issues, it can be a problem. Yeah, yeah, of course. I didn't even consider that.
Starting point is 00:12:02 I really like it with this fact is it's basically what's known as gastro diplomacy as well, right? Because they're using food in order to spread culture around the world. And this started there was in the early 2000s, Thailand really were leading the way with this. There was this thing with people going, why are there so many Thai restaurants in America? We don't have that bigger population of Thai people here. It doesn't make sense. And that's what it was. It was a government program where you were able to get a loan for millions of
Starting point is 00:12:27 dollars from Thailand. If you were going to open a restaurant over in America and you had different packages. So there were different styles of Thai restaurants that you could set up the sort of more McDonald's like fast food, Cheney one, which was just not that good food all the way up to the high end Thai, which, you know,
Starting point is 00:12:43 golden leaf kind of thing. And, and all the arts that you might see in those places might have been created by government propaganda people who wanted to just push. It's so weird. It's so interesting. I think we said before that they invented pad thai for that reason. Yeah. Right, yeah. I think it is like a really important thing and not to get too political, but our government slash our government until last week.
Starting point is 00:13:04 We'll see what happens. Like the idea of them kind of taking money away from cultural stuff, which is what has happened over the last 10 years or so is such an own goal. Like because Britain has over the last century or so had so much soft diplomacy through, be it the Spice Girls or be it like Downton Abbey. They would have to promote Pepper and Keenan. The original draft of the Spice Girls or be it like Downton Abbey. They would have to promote Pepper and Keenan. The original draft of the Spice Girls. It was before then we had the Opium Girls of course.
Starting point is 00:13:34 But yeah, I mean like to take away money and to like make the BBC World Service and stuff lose money and all that stuff. Are you just trying to get government funding for the podcast James? Well we are a cultural jewel in the crown of the nation I would say. stuff, lose money and all that kind of stuff. Are you just trying to get government funding for the podcast, James? Well, we are a cultural jewel in the crown of the nation, I would say. But there's so many countries to it. It's not just the Thai government, the USA, they have the Diplomatic Culinary Partnership and they have the American Chef Corps, who were recruited, teaching you to flip burgers. What is that?
Starting point is 00:14:04 So in fact, that's almost the opposite of it because it was specifically sort of, it's more than just burgers and hot dogs guys. And it was about all the great American cuisine that there is and all different kinds of American cuisine. I've got to be honest, they're very good in a lot of ways of propaganda, but that element hasn't worked on me so far.
Starting point is 00:14:20 Fair enough. But you would get a special jacket with an American flag and your name embroidered in gold if you were part of the Chef Corps. And you would travel around the world cooking for foreign diplomats, traveling abroad, you know, it was a sort of crack unit of chefs. And they did some sort of Native American cooking or different from all the different parts of it. Grits. Probably some burgers as well. Grits. Yeah. Movie industries are often used as sort of that kind of self diplomacy. And in fact, there are kimchi Westerns.
Starting point is 00:14:47 No, like spaghetti Western. Exactly that. What really? Kimchi. The spaghetti Western was a Western filmed in Italy, right? Cause it was broadly like the American West. Actually usually filmed in Spain, but made by Italian directors.
Starting point is 00:15:00 Yeah. So is this a Western that's filmed in Korea? It's just what you think. Yeah. It was a specific decision by the Korean government in the 2000s. The film industry was going quite badly. I think Hollywood was swamping all of their homemade films. So they thought let's make our own Westerns and they'll be called kimchi Westerns. And the first one was called The Good, The Bad and The Weird. Drawing very slightly on American traditions.
Starting point is 00:15:23 Is it a proper like western cowboy plot? Absolutely, yeah. So it seems very much based on the good, the bad and the ugly, you know. There are three protagonists who are after the same treasure who are all sort of after each other. Is it buried kimchi? That film is actually sequel to For a Fridge Full of Kimchi. That's based on For a Fistful of Dollars. Oh yeah. That was looking very much a don't count your chickens.
Starting point is 00:15:50 That's why I've been silent for the last 10 minutes because I've been trying to think of a South Korean Western title and I couldn't think of one and I'd argue you didn't really do either. Okay, it is time for fact number two. That is Andy. My fact is there is an entire railway tunnel in Derbyshire which was constructed so the railway could be hidden from the Duke of Rutland. No one wanted him to get on the railway. He never paid. He never paid despite being very rich as a fair dodger. So this comes from a great website called peakrail.co.uk, which is about the peak district railways, not about like this, it's peak rail.
Starting point is 00:16:34 And it's about the Duke of Rutland who, there is still a Duke of Rutland, I believe. Yeah, in the words. It's like in the way there always is, there's always another one. And he was a big old landowner. This is the middle of the 19th century. And it was when the railways were going gangbusters
Starting point is 00:16:49 across the whole UK, hundreds of railway companies were springing up, building lines, going out of business, consolidating. It was just a railway fever had gripped Britain. It was a great time, I wish I'd been there. And the Duke had point blank refused a railway to go across his estate, you know, not through his house or anything, just across some of the many, many acres he owned.
Starting point is 00:17:08 And the real company had to go underground. And there's a long tunnel. It's about a thousand yards long, really is quite a big railway tunnel. And it's 12 feet deep because they just needed to hide it very slightly from the Duke. You could do a cutting, couldn't you? They could have done a cutting, which is basically a sort of V-shaped trench. And you just have it going along that. That would have preserved the view. Like a ha ha is basically a sort of v-shaped trench and you just have it going along that that would have preserved the view
Starting point is 00:17:25 Like a ha ha like a ha ha exactly But the duke apparently did not want to see smoke and steam rising above his gardens So they had to just cover over this thing called cut and cover where you dig a little bit and you cover it back over So it's the most most pointless railway tunnel was probably really expensive and it's over the duke of rutland and they don't use it anymore Right. It's like it's out of yeah, they don't use it. Did it get um beachinged? Uh it's oh as in Mr Beaching. I can't recall actually whether it's part of that but anyway that line doesn't use that tunnel anymore and they're thinking of opening it up so cyclists can go through it. Oh that's really nice because it's always nice and flat when they sort of use a railway line for that kind of thing.
Starting point is 00:18:06 Just for, sorry, for any international listeners who are confused about- Yes, the Beijing reference. I feel like Dan went into his chicken's glaze again. I think the Duke of Rutland probably dealt with it could few people listening. What? For international listeners as well,
Starting point is 00:18:21 Rutland, it's a small county which is in- That's true. And a Duke is a member of a nobility. Yeah, for any Americans listening, international listeners as well, Rutland, it's a small county which is in... A duke is a member of a nobility. Yeah, for any Americans listening, a train is the kind of thing we've got. No, it's in the East Midlands. It's got a population of about 41,000. And it's got this really interesting fact about it, which is that it is the smallest county in England, but only when the tide is out on the Isle of Wight. So when the tide's in, that is the smallest county. It goes out.
Starting point is 00:18:49 So it becomes the smallest county once every day and then loses that award. The Duke of Rutland. He was a sixth Duke, the one we're talking about. He was also a Tory MP for Stanford. He won Stanford with 200 votes versus his liberal opponents at one vote in 1837. And according to the Oxford Dictionary of National Biography, and I quote, his present wealth and future dukedom meant that his Tory colleagues had to bear with him. It is idle to pretend, wrote Robert Blake, that he was anything other than a stick.
Starting point is 00:19:23 Apparently he was absolutely useless, but because he was so rich, they were like, oh, well, you're gonna have to be part of the party now. I couldn't find evidence for, but I would like it to be true for the fact that, so he never married and he had a couple of crushes, apparently, and there seem to be claims that when he died, he left his friend's wife, Lady Miles, a yacht, his yacht,
Starting point is 00:19:45 in his will, which I Lady Miles, a yacht, his yacht, in his will. Oh yes, yeah. Which I really like as a move, but I don't know if it's true. But yeah, that- It's reported in multiple places, isn't it? Yeah, it does seem to be. And I like the idea of being the husband, because are you happy that you now kind of co-own a yacht that was left by a dead person? Are you suggesting that he fancied this woman?
Starting point is 00:20:03 I don't know if you leave someone a yacht if you're just friends do you? I think there was a suggestion to why he was left. It was 120 feet. All right I'm just saying like if you've got a yacht you have to give it to someone. Yeah yeah yeah. Like you've got no heirs so you know. You could just be mates. Why specify the lady rather than both of them though? That's true. I think if my spouse got left a yacht by someone. By James when James died for instance. Yeah, you're not evidently a yacht. I'd narrow my eyes across the breakfast table. Can I just say if anyone listening to this podcast would like to give my wife a yacht,
Starting point is 00:20:36 I could not a yacht. Scandal wise, it was interesting. I was reading about the current family and I found an article which is all a bit sort of gross when you see the wealth, the amazing kind of, just it's a bit odd, but there's all these tiny details that are so bizarre. So one thing is, is that him and the Duchess are no longer together,
Starting point is 00:20:55 but they're both living with new partners in very separate bits of this giant beaver castle. I mean, it's pretty easy to do that when you've got a castle, isn't it? If you live in an apartment in Tottenham, it's pretty hard to still live with your ex. Yeah. It's all these like, you get reports of all these little details that have been added to this castle. So like there's a button that gets pressed, which opens a safe behind the bed that brings out a giant erection jug set. That's just, that was built for... What do you for... It's kind of like, so it's like a penis erection
Starting point is 00:21:26 done as a jug, but it's hidden in a safe behind the bed that you can sort of have reveal. It's very odd. It's just the way you said an erection jug set. Like we all knew what that was. That's a phrase back in Australia. It's like the county chickens of all. You clarified a penis erection. Oh clarified a penis erection. Oh a penis erection. Oh dear, I did not know that. Who installed that? Have you seen this? No, it's just reported in this article. The interviewer sat down to chat to him. He sat on a sofa with a photo next to him that was framed in sign that says, dear David, looking forward to the time when I can completely cut off your head. Love from Rambo. It's from Sylvester Stallone to David, the current Duke. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:08 They got their Earl ships slash Duke them slash all that kind of stuff in the wars of the roses, I think. And they became Earls. And then during this time when they were becoming politicians with the wigs, that's when they became dukes. So for American listeners, an Earl is less than a duke. And for ordinary British listeners. But the fifth Earl of Rutland supposedly wrote Shakespeare's plays. Oh good. Who was that then? He's the fifth Earl of Rutland. He will have been called something Manners because they're all called Manners, aren't they? A lot of them are James Manners. And the evidence is that he had a close relationship with the Earl of Southampton.
Starting point is 00:22:52 Who also didn't write the Plains of Shakespeare. I think they were interested in each other's penis erections. But the poem Venus and the Donnus was dedicated to the Earl of Southampton and we don't have much evidence that Shakespeare knew him, but we do know that this guy knew him. But also Rutland went to Italy and taught and two of his students were called Rosencrantz and Guilderstern. What? Then actual names? Were those? What the hell? Definitely 100% were students when he was teaching in Padua. You should have led with that evidence. No way, I thought they were sort of made up words by Shakespeare, who as it turns out
Starting point is 00:23:32 is this random Duke. Can I tell you about a member of the Manners family? Yeah. It's a slightly more recent one. I think it was late 19th, 30th, 20th century. So Ralph Tolomack was his name. And he was very fond of history. He had 15 children. The names included his first names Plantagenet, Saxon, Idwallo, Leoness,
Starting point is 00:23:55 Lealf, Leona, Leonella, Leonetta, and a boy who was he became a captain in the First World War, right? His name was Leone Sextus Dennis Oswolf Fraudatifilius Tolomac Tolomac de Orellana Plantagenet Tolomac Tolomac. Imagine shouting that under a hectic situation when you think about that. Duck! You should have just said duck. You didn't need to say my old name. Pretty much the Elon Musk of his day in fact. I mean he's the Jacob Rees Mugg of his day. Oh yeah. He is, yeah yeah. More rap is it?
Starting point is 00:24:33 Wow. There was also around that time Lady Diana Manners who was useful because she could be nicknamed Mrs. Bad Manners. Very good. But the reason I raised her is because she was part of a group that I didn't know existed called the Coterie or sometimes the Corrupt Coterie. Have you guys heard of this? It really sounds like one of those groups that you kind of want to be a member of but that's also awful. It's like a Bullingdon club for the pre-first world war generation and she was really the linchpin of it. They were incredibly glamorous. They basically took all the aristocrats in the
Starting point is 00:25:04 UK and all the cool ones who went to all the fun parties were in the coterie and they were wild. They would spend their whole time like gambling, drinking, but just also injecting heroin a lot, snorting a lot of cocaine. They loved taking chloroform. So, and she throughout her life, apparently she'd go to parties and liven them up all the time by taking heroin. And no one really minded because you know When was this this was just before the first world war because sort of sadly Taking heroin liven people up if you're lady bad manners I think maybe it does yeah
Starting point is 00:25:36 And they were all and this is what you get for being a spoiled aristote with bad habits But all wiped out in the first world war. All right. So she married almost the last remaining one who returned who was called Duff. Duff Cooper. Because there's one other thing about one of the daughters of the current Manners family. So this is Eliza. She recently was fined half the normal amount that you would be fined for a speeding ticket because of cash flow issues. Oh, can you do that? Because I've had two speeding tickets in the last month. Really?
Starting point is 00:26:11 Although I did get mine halved as well. Cash flow issues? No. Okay. Just paying promptly. That's what you do. If you pay within 28 days, you get a half. No, mine happened within two minutes of each other, so they said it was the same lapse of judgment. If you just stay speeding, that's what that film is about actually with Keanu Reeves. Just trying to avoid getting two tickets. Can I tell you an aristocratic railway thing? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:32 Back to the old Duke of Rotland. So dukes loved opposing railways. It was for a while their main hobby. I mean they were being built on their land right? Completely. I don't want to take their sides but actually the whole country was being dug up for railways at that time, which is a good thing of course, but they owned most of the land. Exactly. And there were lots of clashes because you could have your land compulsorily purchased and railway makers wanted to build straight normal routes over relatively flat ground because that's obviously how you build a railway. And dukes would sometimes, or land landowners would sometimes hire thugs to stop surveyors surveying the land for a railway
Starting point is 00:27:11 and then they would hire gangs of heavies to go and beat up the surveyors who were just trying to say, oh yes, it could go over there, couldn't it? And they had to do it at night or they had to have decoy teams of surveyors, the railway companies. It's quite hard to survey at night, I would say. You're right. It does rely on vision quite extensively. But it was such, it was a violent time. One railway company was warned,
Starting point is 00:27:32 we have barricaded the towing path and have in readiness a few cannons from Lord Harbourer's yacht. But it was like genuinely a perilous time. All except the third Duke of Sutherland who built his own private railway line and loved it and would drive it himself. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:47 And he was one of the... I admire this guy so much. He had a cab built with a four-person upholstered seat at the back, right, so that the Duke could sit in the cab while the driver was driving it. So you're literally up front in the engine. Oh, in the train. Yeah, yeah. Right, right. So guests he had on his upholstered seat have included King Edward VII, King George V, King George VI, King Alfonso of Spain.
Starting point is 00:28:08 And was this the original format for that, where a famous person gets a celebrity in their car and interviews them? Kaiser Wilhelm II was in this train, Winston Churchill, one of the key pro-tags of the world wars. And where did it go? Did it go anywhere or was it just a little stretch of rail outside his house? It is far, far northern Scotland. Right.
Starting point is 00:28:28 It's really, really far up north. But he had the power to drive his own train until the killjoys of British rail revoked it in 1949. Okay. And that for me is where the rot set in. If it did, can't drive his own train. Yeah. What kind of a world are we living in? Yeah. What kind of a world are we living in?
Starting point is 00:28:42 Yeah. Okay. Okay. It is time for fact number three. And that is my fact. My fact this week is that legendary guitar maker, Les Paul had his arm permanently fused at roughly a 90 degree angle
Starting point is 00:28:59 so that he could forever strum a guitar. It's magical. It's a, yeah. It was an interesting moment in his life. So he's- That's what he said, strum a guitar. It's magical. It's a, yeah, it was an interesting moment in his life. So he's- That's what he said, by the way. He's like Robocop, basically. Not really, no. Well, no, but let me hear me out.
Starting point is 00:29:13 What did Robocop do? Was he someone who sculpted his whole body to perform certain tasks? Robocop was where they tried to save a human by creating a mechanical body. Whereas this guy just had a little bit of bone put into his elbow. Robocop was based on Les Paul. That's what I said.
Starting point is 00:29:30 I feel like he said, hey doc, can you fuse my arm at 90 degrees so that I can forever masturbate? And they said, what? I said, I strum a guitar. Oh my God, imagine if it was that. One day a doctor will say, well, you want to know what really happened. Yeah. So, okay. What happened? This is the story of, uh, Led's Paul's horrible accident. He was out driving on a long trip to California with his partner at the time, uh, who became his wife called Mary Ford. And she was at the wheel. He was getting rest. He was laying down on the car seat when suddenly the car swerved and they were going off a bridge, put his arm on her. He said, this is it. They both thought they were going to die. Um, but
Starting point is 00:30:12 fortunately, cause it was a convertible car, they were able to fling out of it and they survived. So actually, uh, the very fact that he was laying down, didn't have a seatbelt on, she didn't have a seatbelt on, meant they kind of were able to survive. I read that claim that he said, actually, it was a good thing we didn't have seatbelts. Are we sure? That was a theory at the time, actually, because there were motor racing drivers who didn't want to wear seatbelts because they wanted to be thrown away from the wreckage if there was ever a crash.
Starting point is 00:30:35 I just feel like obviously we're saying seatbelts are good. It was a belief at the time. At the time, there was arguments that seat seat belts might trap you in wreckage. You want to be as far away as possible from that car crash. Yeah. Okay. Now they survived this, what was said to be a 20 foot plunge into a ravine, but they shouldn't have then survived because no one should have known that they were there.
Starting point is 00:30:56 But it just so happens that as they careered off the road, they crashed into a telephone and telegraph pole. And they phoned. No, so when those lines went down, the lines of the area went down. So some emergency services came to rectify that. And then they saw this car down there. This was eight hours later. They're like, what's that? And they found them. So he was seriously injured, broken nose, punctured spleen, broken vertebrae, pelvis was done and he'd shattered his elbow, his right elbow. So the plan was they were going to amputate his arm, but a doctor said, no, I think we can fix this. And so what they did was they decided to take some of his leg bone and they put it in place of the elbow. But in doing
Starting point is 00:31:39 so they needed to fuse it into one position. So usually someone who is having that would have it in a arm out position. He said, or maybe a slight. I don't know what I would go for. What would you go for? Hand on the hip. Piece sign. Piece sign.
Starting point is 00:31:54 Piece sign's just your fingers, Andrew. It's all about where it is. I get to move my arm? Okay. It's about arm position, not about fingers. No, you get to move your fingers. You don't get to move your arm. I will go for a salute in that case.
Starting point is 00:32:03 Patriotic. Salute position that could, facing the wrong way, look like a sig-hile. I will go for a salute in that case. Patriotic. Salute position that could facing the wrong way look like a sig-hail. I will never be facing the wrong way. I'll always be facing the king. Yeah. So he went for- The correct answer is for the four of us
Starting point is 00:32:16 to do Y, M, C and A. So what he ended up doing was he said to his doctor, put my forefinger in my belly button when you set it. That's how I hold the guitar and I'll still be able to play that's what they did And so yeah, but thank god he did do this because he was a genius of guitar creation I think actually that's why they did it. I read that he overheard the two surgeons one of them saying We're gonna have to cut his arm off and the other one's saying well, he's a guitarist. So maybe we should try and save it Wow We're gonna have to cut his arm off and the other one's saying well, he's a guitarist. So maybe we should try and save it Wow. Yeah, I mean thank good
Starting point is 00:32:47 I just I'd never heard I'd heard of Les Paul very very vaguely as a brand before Yeah, but in the same that you've heard of a Gibson or a Stratocaster or whatever But I don't really I don't know any of the stories about them. Yeah, and he was amazing I mean he invented the modern electric guitar. Yeah, he kind of he innovated he he advanced it There were there's other claims to earlier models But he's the one who basically was a combination of an artist and an inventor He just got it out there and people saw it and his one went forward Yeah, exactly one of the reasons was when he had his accident
Starting point is 00:33:17 He couldn't play guitar for a while, of course because you know, it's getting better But while he was waiting he was reading electronics manuals, and he was learning how to be an electronics master. So he did this other thing. There was a brilliant essay about Les Paul on this. I think it was called the Quietest. It's a great website. And it's about how the fact that Bohemian Rhapsody is partly thanks to the Nazis. Okay. I knew we had to thank him for something. Okay. So he did these experiments with multi-track recording, right?
Starting point is 00:33:48 Yeah. And he was working with Bing Crosby, friend of the podcast, I'd say. Is he? I'd say acquaintance. Acquaintance of the podcast. Yeah. He's popped in. He's popped in.
Starting point is 00:33:58 And he, cause he wanted to pre-record his radio show and one of his staff found a guy called Jack Mullin, who'd been in the US Army Signal Corps and who had acquired, probably Nick, two reel-to-reel recorders from Nazi Germany in 1945. There's a lot of moving objects about and he'd come across them somehow. And he had worked- It was a time of moving stuff about. It was a time of that. Borders.
Starting point is 00:34:20 Yes. And he'd worked out the design, he sort of backformed it. He'd found these reel-to-reel recorders, he backformed it. And Crosby invested that and he notified Les Paul, who comes into the story here, and he added an extra playback system to this reel-to-reel thing, which meant you could hear what was on the tape as you recorded it. That was the brilliant innovation. Yeah, the eight-track recorder, absolutely just revolutionized music. One extra thing. Yeah. And you can suddenly hear and sing and it's so, and that, and Bohemian Rhapsody is possible because of that, basically that bit with all the voices in the middle. Oh, I see. That's the point of that. It's sort of, sort of every song is thanks to that
Starting point is 00:34:55 really of modern music. Well, that makes you think when you next listen to something, you know, you're basically collaborating. So anyone who likes pop music, according to Andy, is a Nazi. Which coincidentally is. I've already thought. He used to do a show with his wife on TV as well with Mary Ford, and it was from their house. And the thing was, is that he was inventing so much stuff so quickly that was so impossible, really, for a layman to understand that he created a fictitious invention called the pulverizer which he said I'm just going to press the pulverizer and it's going to make this work and that's where he was playing pre-recorded multi-track and so on but it sent the
Starting point is 00:35:36 whole industry into a kind of what is this pulverizer we have no idea what he's saying. Hang on so sorry what was he claiming it was doing? He was so let's say he was using a pre-recorded multi-track that he'd already recorded and they were singing on top of it live for the TV show. Rather than having to explain this new technology of what was going on or every little innovation that he was making, he would just say, the pulverizer has invented this. Yeah, because I always, you know, you hear about multi-track stuff and recording over it being an invention and I always think, I reckon of the few technological things I
Starting point is 00:36:03 could have invented that. I always think it's not piss easy, You just get a bit of music, you play it and you play something else over it. Yeah. Come on guys. It was thanks to him innovating it. I read someone saying it could have been done, but he was the one who thought to do it as in his genius was it wasn't technically an impossible thing to do. Got it. It was the idea. Exactly. Actually, I heard him in an interview with the New York Times. He said the only reason I invented these things is because I didn't have them. So he knew there was a thing he needed.
Starting point is 00:36:29 He knew it was quite an easy thing to invent, but no one had invented it. So he's like, Oh, I have to make it. So cool. You said they did the show with Mary Ford, which is true. And that he was in the car crash with Mary Ford, which is also true. But she was originally called Colleen Summers and he changed her name to Mary Ford, which is also true, but she was originally called Colleen Summers and he changed her name to Mary Ford because he thought it was better for their showbiz life. He found the name in his phone book, but she wasn't even known as Colleen Summers in the car crash. She was known
Starting point is 00:36:57 as Iris Watson and that is because, and this was in all the newspapers, he was in a car crash with Iris Watson and that's because he was having an affair with Mary Ford slash Colleen Summers. And they wanted to keep it out of the newspapers. And so they gave a false name. So there's some poor old biddy named Iris Watson somewhere who everyone suddenly thinks is shagging guitar man. That's amazing.
Starting point is 00:37:20 He almost died another time in fact, didn't he? And he almost electrocuted himself in the 40s. In 1941, he was jamming around with some friends and he stuck his hand in the transmitter. I don't even know how you stick your hand in a transmitter, but I guess it was more janky then. And it electrified him really badly. And I think he was only saved because his basis
Starting point is 00:37:40 threw himself at him and got him away from it just before he died. He was, I think, fully unconscious, had to be entirely immersed in a tub of ice immediately afterwards, which apparently helped. I don't know if it does, but that's what they did anyway, I guess. And then he spent weeks in full head to toe comedy bandages. I don't know if that helps either, but yeah. Very nearly died then.
Starting point is 00:38:02 Wow. Must have been hard for him to wank when he was in that. Oh gosh! You've got the tissues ready made though, haven't you? Guitarists are so innovative with the engineering side of their instruments. Brian May made his own guitar which he still uses. Hendrix just used to walk around with a broom handle, just a big broom because he couldn't afford a guitar, but he just wanted to practice the movement and shapes on it.
Starting point is 00:38:29 So everywhere he went, he just had a mop basically. And then when he got a guitar, he was left-handed, but there was only right-handed guitars around him. So he had to learn it both upside down, or then he would have to take someone's guitar, unstring all the strings, restring it backwards. So he learned- Did he have a left-handed broom or? Yeah, good point. It unstring all the strings, restring it backwards. So it'd be either left-handed broom or...
Starting point is 00:38:45 Good point. It might have been the worse, only right-handed ones. Yeah. Did he restring? Is it like putting the toilet seat down? Did he restring the strings before he gave it back to the person? You would. That's actually annoying. Yeah. One of the most influential guitarists of the 20th century was someone I hadn't heard of called Libba Cotten. So she was born in 1893 and she was a folk and blues musician and lots of people say that they were influenced by her. So she was a big influence in like bluegrass and jazz and stuff like that. And it's very plinky plunky plicky plucky the way she plays, but she was left-handed. And again, so she was, I think about 12 when she
Starting point is 00:39:19 saved enough money from a job she was working to get guitar, but yeah, had to flip it upside down as you do. And so she would always play the high notes with her thumb and finger, and then the low notes with her little finger. And she was amazing. So she played from age 12 to 17. She wrote a couple of songs, but people didn't hear about her.
Starting point is 00:39:37 She then got married, stopped playing until her 50s. And then she bumped into in a department store. In fact, she rescued the daughter of a woman called Ruth Seeger, who was a kind of famous musician. And she became their housekeeper and retaught herself for guitar from scratch. Again, still playing it back to front. And she released these songs that became huge influences and they like shot into the charts. I think Bob Dylan says he's massively influenced by her.
Starting point is 00:40:03 Cause she just sounded different than any other guitarist, right? Because she was playing it in this different way. Yeah, the plicky ploppy way. It is amazing. And it's often necessity as the mother of invention, because you don't have teachers in those days. You would just learn it. Yeah, you're a self-taught.
Starting point is 00:40:15 Yeah, right. Have you heard of Carole Kay? Yeah, the Beach Boys. Yeah, so she was the bass player in Good Vibrations, for instance. But not just the Beach Boys. She was the bass player for These Vibrations, for instance, but not just the Beach Boys. She was the bass player for these boots made for walking, La Bamba, I'm a Believer, the theme for the Batman TV show, Suspicious Minds,
Starting point is 00:40:33 Riding Stone Cowboy. Like pretty much any song you can name from the 60s and 70s, she was the bass player in it. And she had a different way of playing, just like this woman you were talking about, Anna, because she started off as a normal guitarist, an acoustic guitarist, and so she would play with a pick. And she then turned up at a session and the bassist hadn't turned up and they said, Oh, can you play bass? And she was like, okay, fine. It's just pretty much the same. I'll be able to do it. And so she always played bass with a pick, whereas normally you would play bass with your fingers.
Starting point is 00:41:07 Her sound was so different than anyone else, she just became the one bassist that everyone wanted on there. It's what I want, easy technology. All you need is that idea. Yeah, but if you do watch any old Beach Boys documentaries or the making of that period, the sort of love that comes out from Brian Wilson watching her play is pretty phenomenal.
Starting point is 00:41:25 It's amazing. It is extraordinary. All these names that kind of disappear yet what a massive influence they've had. Like Les Paul is a really good example and Mary Ford, them as a double act. They had 36 gold records, 11 number one pop songs. They were huge. That's huge. They sold millions and millions and I only know him as a guitarist and I hadn't heard of Mary Ford. Yeah, but like in 50 years time will people remember who Dua Lipa was? I don't now. And he hasn't heard of BTS. Exactly BTS like behind the scenes.
Starting point is 00:41:58 Yeah that's what he should do as his thing like BTS BTS. That's what he should do. Amazing. Is it banned? Did you know that spiders play guitars? Oh, they'd be good. They are good. Cause they've got eight hands.
Starting point is 00:42:11 They've got eight hands. Be like tooling banjos. But they ding, ding, ding, ding. They could do it on their own. I think that's exactly what they do. Yep. They play their webs as guitars. So this is amazing. They adjust, they tune their webs
Starting point is 00:42:23 and they adjust all the different threads on their webs to different tightnesses. So they're very aware of exactly what the tightness is that they've adjusted it to. And that means whatever lands on that thread, they're going to know what it is. So if it plays like an A sharp, they're like, ah, that's a mosquito. Exactly that. That's incredible. And they can tell things. Do other spiders gather around and go, oh yeah, nice web, nice web.
Starting point is 00:42:46 Who's made that top radial bit for you? Yeah, they do. And then they eat them. Okay, it is time for our final fact of the show, and that is Anna. My fact is that firefighters are allowed to scoop water out of people's swimming pools to put out fires. I should hope so, as in I would be furious if I found out they weren't allowed to do that if there was a fire nearby. Oh yeah really, I don't know if I was a duke and I had a big swimming pool and I went out to dive in from my big diving board and there
Starting point is 00:43:23 was no water in it. I'd all be taken to put out some fire in the peasants village. I'd be furious. You're right. James, were you the one Tory voter in last week's election? Well, exactly as you say, Andy, it's one of those things you're like, I'm glad that's true, but I'm sort of glad they've laid down the law at some point. And this seems to be true. Firefighters know it worldwide. There are slightly different rules. So in California, the fire department says you can take water from any safe source and it's completely up to the discretion of the pilot what you use.
Starting point is 00:43:52 So if you are a socialist pilot who hates people with swimming pools, you can go there first. So they're doing it via helicopter, which we should point out. Sorry, yes. Pilot. Yeah, sorry, you're not just wandering over with a bucket. Yes, so there'll be a firefighter in a helicopter and they've got a bucket underneath which are called Bambi buckets. For reasons I couldn't ascertain.
Starting point is 00:44:11 Oh yeah. And you lower. I imagine that once you've got a big bucket of water underneath your helicopter, you're probably moving around like a deer on ice. That's nice. Maybe it's that. That's good.
Starting point is 00:44:23 I was thinking, cause it looks a bit almost like an upside down deer, cause it's got like wobbly leg bits attacking it to the helicopter. Anyway, these are some of the biggest buckets on the planet. I'm very excited about it. Are they? Honestly, I spent a fair little bit of time
Starting point is 00:44:36 trying to find out the biggest bucket on the planet. Yeah. And there's not readily available data. So these helicopters. Yeah. Well, they're pretty cool. Yeah, and they don't call ahead. You know, you could be just getting a road to go out in your swimming pool and you'll see
Starting point is 00:44:48 a giant bucket descend from the sky. Has anyone ever been lifted up, scooped up in the bucket? That's my child. Yeah. They have to do a proper safety scan before they descend. So you'd hope that would include kids in the pool. You never know what's in there. That's interesting though. Could you see? I was reading a blog and this guy says we can see very well and we will see you, but if you run out and start waving your hands at the helicopter, sort of saying, no, please don't.
Starting point is 00:45:16 No, I'm going to have a swim. I want to have a swim. He's like, we do take that into account. But also what I love about it is that the house is tracked, they mark down where it is and then if you ask them, they will reimburse you your water. They don't bring back water. They will reimburse you the money to fill, or if any damage was done in the process of lowering the big bucket. Which almost never, sorry, I want to say in defense of human beings, based on in fact two separate firefighters, they said no one's ever done that, except there was one person, I think there was one
Starting point is 00:45:43 company where it was completely destroyed, like a nursery school where the whole thing was. But yes, I think people don't tend to call the fire department and go, I mean, you know, when you rescued a hundred people yesterday, my swimming pool's a bit shallower. But just hear me out, right? The fire department have scoped out the swimming pool. They said, yes, we're good to go. Right. The bucket is descending. Meanwhile, I walk out, I've got my, I'm probably reading my book and I've got my headphones in so I don't notice.
Starting point is 00:46:07 The helicopter above you. Have you been near many low flight helicopters? I've got very big surround of headphones, you know, like over here. You're listening to BTS. I'm listening. Trying to catch up on this great stuff. I think it's possible. So possible that what?
Starting point is 00:46:21 That I'll be scooped and that I'll end up in the bucket. I've been underneath helicopters at various heights and I can tell you, you would 100% know there was a helicopter if it was within 20 or 30 meters of you. Also, are you jumping in the pool with your big noise cancelling headphones on? I've invested in special waterproof headphones and it's a windy day already so I don't notice the downdraft. Waterproof buck? It's one of those bath books.
Starting point is 00:46:47 You always take those on holiday don't you? I've got the bath anacarena in it. It's really big. Do you remember there was that story about, and it was definitely fake, but for a long time before the internet really snopes and all that it went out there at schools where a scuba diver was found in a tree. Do you remember that? It was always told as a riddle. I think for me it was like scubauba diver was found in a tree. Do you remember that? It was always told as a riddle. I think it was like scuba divers in a tree in a forest. How did they get there?
Starting point is 00:47:09 That's true. And what's the, is that there used to be a sea here, but over time, you know, like coastal erosion and stuff. Think what we're talking about right now. It's just a real idiot scuba diver that doesn't realize that you're supposed to go in water. He's like, I'm here to see some wildlife. It's Occam's razor. That's it. He's going to the beach in the afternoon, but he's going to the forest in the morning, but he doesn't want to go home in between the stuff. These helicopters, by the way, some of these helicopters, they don't do the bucket system.
Starting point is 00:47:39 I love this. This is the big ones. I think it's the, there are some Chinooks which do this. They are big ones. Maybe it's some of those, maybe it's the, there are some chinooks which do this. Maybe it's some of those, maybe it's a different helicopter, but they have, they have snorkels. They have retractable snorkels, which they drop down like an elephant's trunk into your pool and suck up into the body of the, they can suck 4,000 gallons in a minute. Wow. Which is quite, now that sounds fast, right? It sounds fast, but I did a little bit of maths. It would still take that helicopter 122 minutes exactly to empty an Olympic pool because of the size.
Starting point is 00:48:13 So that's two hours and two minutes it would take to suck up an Olympic pool, which is the same duration of some like it hot. So you could watch the whole thing in the cockpit while you did that. Yeah, yeah. And then when you're going to put out the fire, they're like, I actually like it hot. But the weight must be insane. Yeah. So they can't, they couldn't suck up unlimited.
Starting point is 00:48:34 No, obviously, but even the amount you said. A few thousand gallons. I know, I know. It is. Wow. So as well as being able to take your water without asking from your pools, another thing that firefighters can do is they can smash the hell out of your car if they need to. And this does happen a fair chunk. And it's often after work.
Starting point is 00:48:55 A long day fighting fires. So one example is I was reading about a guy who parked his new BMW outside a house in East Boston and he parked it in front of a fire hydrant. This is a big, big problem. You shouldn't obviously do that. Highly illegal. But people do do it.
Starting point is 00:49:12 And if a fire breaks out and the fire engine gets there and they need the hydrant, what they'll often do is if they don't have enough people to literally pick up and lift the car out the way, they'll smash through the windows so that they can thread the hose all the way through that. That's interesting that the hose all the way through that. That's interesting that the hose just can't go over the car. Why do you need to take it through the windows? It might be tight as in the angle on the other side. That would have to be really tight.
Starting point is 00:49:34 What they say is it's all to do with if you want the ultimate amount of water to seamlessly come through, you can't have any kinks. The reason we often hear about these stories is the car owners say you smashed up my car, you need to pay for this and any time it goes to court the judge will throw it out and give them a fine. So in this case this guy was fined $100 for his two-day old new car that he parked outside. Wait, he was fined for making a fuss? Parking in front of the... Yeah, so it's like not only are you not being re-embarrassed, but we're also fining you for what you did.
Starting point is 00:50:03 Great stuff. Have we talked about fireman's poles before? Interesting so It used to be that you'd have the fire engine on the ground floor Yeah, and then you'd live one floor above that. Yeah, and then you'd have another floor above that. Guess what's kept in that? Like just old stuff that you don't need around the house anymore, but you don't really want to throw out. Yep.
Starting point is 00:50:28 That's right. The strippers. The strippers. No, it's not the strippers. It's the horses though, because the horses would live in the fire station. They live on the ground. In the olden days. They live on the ground.
Starting point is 00:50:41 This is in the days of horses though. Right. The hay. The hay. The hay. The hay. The hay. The hayloft. Wow. And you would have, you would have poles to, I think, transport the hay.
Starting point is 00:50:51 So apparently a binding pole, which helps you move the hay around. You could just drop it. Feels like you can just drop it. Feels like the pole's not necessary in the hay down. There was a Chicago firefighter who dropped down the pole, allegedly, this was his Fosbury Flop moment, where he slid down the pole allegedly, this was his Fosbury flop moment where he slid down the pole to responding quickly and the captain of that company David Kenyon. Oh my god, so they're basically like we've put this pole in for literally no reason. We just drop the hay down completely pointless and then
Starting point is 00:51:18 this guy actually finds a use for it. Yeah and then their crew was suddenly arriving first at every fire in the city because they're doing their poll stuff. And get this, only one cat has ever been able to use a fireman's poll. Wow. Okay. Is that, am I... It's not a riddle. Surprised at it's so many or so few. Yeah. It would wrap itself around and go down. Yeah. Wow. It was called Sam the Cat and it was the mascot for the Long Beach California fire station in the 60s and the crew taught Sam to use the pole. I reckon tons of cats can, they just choose not to. What I think is nice is that fireman's poles are still going despite many articles over the last 30 years that keep claiming they're being phased out. Why are they being phased out?
Starting point is 00:51:57 I'm surprised Europe hasn't gotten rid of them. Like, EU, Brussels, it's woke, isn't it? Because of woke. I'm trying to build on my character of being a pro duke. Of course. Yeah. Brexit it, got it. I think there have been a few less and from what firefighter say, I think there are accidents.
Starting point is 00:52:18 So I think there was one person who said that two of the people I've worked with have ended up in hospital from going down a pole ill-advisedly. Is that slide injuries, as in you burning yourself on the friction, or is it you've hurt yourself because you've done it upside down for a laugh, or whatever? Or you've fallen, someone did fall in the hole of Seattle Firemen. Yes, I did like, well there was one person, what most of them say is it's members of the public, because now the fire stations are often open to members of the public or partners. They don't know that this is the fireman's poll box. How can you not know? Because... Oh, maybe this goes to the back page. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:52:50 LAUGHTER One story that kicked off a big campaign to get them phased out was in, I think it was 2002. And the poll is you open a door on the second floor, and that's the poll door that the poll box. And you go in, I think often. And then you go into the pole. I thought it was totally free range. And you had to just be careful. In which case, you could understand someone falling down.
Starting point is 00:53:11 Absolutely. Someone went in, thought they were going to the loo. They thought it was a toilet cubicle. Oh, God. Fell straight through the hole. That's amazing. That's quite funny. That's incredible.
Starting point is 00:53:19 Quite an awkward moment because you will have chatted yourself by the time they get you to the toilet. Just as you're recovering, a bale of hay crashes on top of your head. But they're still going. They're around a lot, yeah. I think a lot of them in America. And apparently I think some firefighters don't use them and some firefighters do. And some, one of them said his chief uses it like literally he'll come down with a cup of coffee in his hand just uses it to get up and down. That's what you would.
Starting point is 00:53:48 I got a little riddle for you guys. Great. Okay why in Germany, that's not riddles, just a question. Why in Germany are firefighters having to fight fires in tanks? Okay, is tank German for fire engine? No, but that's a lovely thought. Do they have lots of spare tanks? Because they're not allowed to use any of their military weapons because Germany has a famously paired down army. So they've accidentally made too many tanks
Starting point is 00:54:15 and they don't have enough fire engines. They're going along to the fires in tanks? Yeah. Shortage of fire engines? No. Using the big sort of cannon in front of the tank as a hose? It's... they probably are using it like that. Put a big sponge on the tank's barrel,
Starting point is 00:54:31 put a big sponge on the front of the tank, and just sort of squeegee the fire out of existence. Lovely. That's... okay, good thought. No, it's not that. Okay. It's much like Bohemian Rhapsody, very closely connected to the Nazis.
Starting point is 00:54:43 Putting tracks on top of each other. No, it's a World War Two thing. What this is, is that there are tens of thousands of unexploded bombs that landed during World War II that are still out in forests and so on. They're buried underneath. You know what? I don't want to be on the Nazi side. I think those bombs were probably not dropped by the Nazis. I was saying it was dropped to get rid of... Nazis are connected. It's related. I think you're allowed to. They started it. So basically fires would start and bombs would be exploding set off by the fire. And so because you don't know where they are, it's too dangerous to go in. They would often have to use a tank. And
Starting point is 00:55:19 this is recent. This is only a few years ago. Is this happening on the regs in Germany? Cause I feel like unexploded World War II bombs every couple of years, maybe you get one, but is it that? There are definitely areas where there are more, aren't there? I think there's some areas of France that you still can't go in. And is the tank, the idea is that a tank is more bomb-proof. Cause I still be nervous in a tank.
Starting point is 00:55:39 It just gives you a bit more protection. It gives you a bit more than say, just walking or a Yeah. Imagine there's a fire in this room. God forbid. We're on what floor? The third floor? But we need to get out to the building, maybe out of the windows. We can't go down the stairs. What are we hoping for on the ground? A big trampoline or like a mattress. A big trampoline or mattress. Exactly exactly so this is the Broder LifeNet which is this thing that you see in old movies where you get a load of firefighters all holding a big trampoline and it's got a little target in the middle of it and you jump out and hopefully you're fine and that really was a thing. It existed from 1887 when it was invented,
Starting point is 00:56:26 and it was still being used as late as 1960. Wow. But the reason that they don't use them anymore is because they quite often went wrong. Of course. I mean, it must be so hard. It must be terrifying jumping onto one of those things. Yeah, there's a lot of problems. Basically, you're probably in a place with lots of smoke. So being able to see the trampoline is hard enough. And then quite often people would be like, Oh, don't, we need to save the safe in the corner with all the erection vases in. So let's throw that out first. And obviously they would throw heavy things out and then that would mean that the trampoline would break. Or quite often more than one person would jump out at the same time, like two or three people
Starting point is 00:57:09 would hold hands and jump out and that would be too heavy and that would break. Or quite often you would just miss and you would hit a fireman. Like it was really the reason that they don't exist anymore is because they did save some lives but actually their hit rate was quite low. But wait surely I'd rather a trampoline than nothing? Yeah. I mean so when you say why would they face was there something better to replace it? Yes there was it was like these big sort of cherry picker machines. Oh so they can pluck you out of your window. Yeah yeah so once you get over like six seven stories these things don't work anyway. Right. And they managed to get these kind of cherry pickers
Starting point is 00:57:45 that would be able to get that high. So you didn't need the trampolines anymore. I'm imagining a situation where someone's on the fourth floor, the whole building's on fire. They've looked out the window, their swimming pool is below them. I think, yes, they leaped out to safety, landed it, a giant bucket comes down, picks them up, drops them back into the fire. Okay, that's it. That is all of our facts. Thank you so much for listening. If you'd like to get in contact with any of us about the things that we've said over the course of this podcast, we can all be found on various social media accounts. I'm on Instagram with
Starting point is 00:58:23 at Shriverland. James? My Instagram with at Shriberland, James. My Instagram is no such thing as James Harkin. Andy. I'm on Twitter at Andrew Hunter M. Yep, or you can get to us all by going where, Anna? You can get us on Twitter at no such thing, or Instagram at no such thing as a fish, or you can email podcast at qi.com.
Starting point is 00:58:39 Yep, or you can go to our website, no such thing as a fish.com. You will find all of our previous episodes up there. You will find a link to our secret club, Club Fish, and you will also find links to our upcoming tour, Thunder Nerds. There's lots of gigs to come to. Please come along. We're starting in the autumn. It's going to be amazing. Otherwise, just come back here next week for another episode. We'll see you then. Goodbye.

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