No Such Thing As A Fish - 98: No Such Thing As Planet George
Episode Date: January 29, 2016Live from the Up The Creek Comedy Club in Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Snowmageddon, the most planety planet, and the world's unluckiest lottery winner. ...
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Hello, and welcome to another episode of No Such Thing as a Fish, a weekly podcast coming
to you from the Up the Creek Comedy Club in Greenwich.
My name is Dan Shriver.
I'm sitting here next to Anna Chazinski, Andy Murray, and James Harkin.
Once again, we have sat around the microphones with our four favorite facts from the last
seven days, and in no particular order, here we go.
Okay, time for fact number one, and that's my fact.
My fact this week is that even though we're not sure it exists, the new planet, planet
number nine, is the most planet-y planet of all the planets.
So this is a major discovery that we've found.
Yeah.
A new planet.
Or didn't find.
Or didn't find.
Either way, it's big news.
I think it exists because of computer modeling.
They've modeled the solar system.
They think this thing exists.
It's absolutely massive, and one thing that is very important with planets is that it
clears out the area of its orbit.
So there aren't other things going around with it, and they think according to their calculations,
this planet has done that more than any other planet, and that's what makes it the most
planet-y planet of all the planets.
According to the guy who discovered it, or one of the two guys who discovered it, Dr.
Brown.
Right.
A new planet-y planet is a planet that no other things want to be close to, really.
Right?
Well, if that's the case, then I am a planet-y planet.
I read a description of it that it was almost certain to be a fifth member of the Jupiter,
Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Quartet.
So it's like the fifth beetle.
But it's like the fifth beetle was cast into deep space.
Yeah.
The really cool thing about the new planet is, you may have seen this in the news, the man
who discovered it, one of the two guys who wrote the paper on it, is the same man who
killed Pluto.
Yeah.
It's like a grudge match.
It's so exciting.
His Twitter account is at PlutoKiller, isn't it?
No.
It's actually.
Yeah.
And he says he still gets...
He gets letters and obscene phone calls from people who miss Pluto.
He said...
These are his exact words.
He said, I got hate mail from young children for many years, and he doesn't get any more
now because young children these days know that Pluto is no longer a planet.
Pluto was named by a child, wasn't it?
Was it?
Yeah.
It's named by an 11-year-old girl, Venetian.
I read such a nice interview with her, which was about five years ago, I think, about how
exciting it was that she'd named Pluto.
And the interviewer kept on asking her why she'd named it Pluto.
It was a NASA interviewer.
NASA interviewer said, and you thought about it because of the Greek and Roman mythology
about Pluto being the god of the underworld, yes?
And she was like, no, no, I don't think it was as subtle as that, no, it was just the
name I knew hadn't been used.
OK, but it was also because the first two letters, PL, have a connection with Percival
Lowell?
No, no, I certainly didn't realise that.
I appreciate it.
It's a boy interviewer, just give me something.
She got five pounds for that.
But they took that five pounds off her when they demoted it from a planet, didn't they?
No.
She said she was in her late 80s when it was demoted, and they asked her about it at the
time.
She said, at my age, I've been largely indifferent to the debate.
She's just saying that to hide all the hate mail she's been sending to Mike Brown, hasn't
they?
So they're going to come up with a new name for this planet, and they don't know what
they're going to call it yet.
The working name is George, isn't it?
Oh, is it?
No, but that's quite nice, because we almost did have a planet called George.
Yeah, Uranus was called George.
Well, it was called George, and they said that's a ridiculous name.
And then they said, let's go with Uranus.
It was going to be named George after King George III, and then they said, no.
Why did they say no to King George III?
Was it after a living?
I think they thought all the other planets were named after Roman gods, and suddenly
some dickhead king's gone, oh, name it after me.
So Mike Brown and his friend, Constantine Batigin, who's the other person who's kind
of found this one, their working name for it is Planet Fatty.
OK, they said that they're going to call it Planet Fatty because it's 1990 slang for
something that's cool.
But I went on to Urban Dictionary, and Fatty does not mean cool.
It means something that I really cannot say on this stage.
Really?
Yeah, something very rude indeed.
Wow.
Yeah.
Fatty for the pH?
Oh, yeah.
So James, you think another news story that's going to come up is that Pluto is going to
be renamed to Planet?
I think it will do in the next couple of years, yeah.
What?
I think what will happen in the next couple of years is...
What?
I'm going to get a lot of hate mail for this.
Yeah, give me a stamp.
I thought the thing was, it's so tiny, and there are so many hundreds of other objects
which are the same size.
So I think all the other hundreds will get cold planets as well.
No way.
That's my guess.
So much more memorizing to do in year nine at school, isn't it going to be?
It's 2,000.
Oh.
Name all the planets well.
How long have you got?
I was reading about the current status of Pluto's current official name is asteroid
number 134340, which is a long way from fallen, yeah.
Why did they call it that?
Was it because it's like an asteroid?
It's named after the ancient Greek god 134340.
Some of the names that they...
Maybe some people have suggested names on Twitter and whatever for this new planet.
Minerva, Persephone, Nix, who's the goddess of the night, is quite a good one.
Some people have said Bowie because of the timing of that.
And the first person to suggest this one, which is my favorite, was at Ted Vogel underscore
Wilson, and he thinks it should be called Pluto.
Very nice.
That's a good name, isn't it?
Very good.
I think we should have more puns in the skies though.
So there's been other news this week, which has been really exciting, in sort of NASA
news, space news, which is I saw an article about Scott Kelly, who's been up there now
300 days, and he was celebrating for 300 days of being in...
Wait, he got up there and immediately started celebrating.
I'm in space, guys!
Actually, it's weird you guys bring that up.
They now factor in allness when astronauts go up.
So Tim Peake, when he went out on his first ever EVA, when he went outside the ship,
they used to have a really tight schedule, go straight here.
They now factor in time because any astronaut who would go outside would find
themselves just going, oh my god, I'm hanging in space, I'm looking at the planet Earth,
and they never factored in time for that.
So they've now given all time where you can just go, oh, and then get on with your work.
So all time is now a thing.
But yeah, so he's up there.
He's with this guy, Scott Kelly, who's been up there 300 days, and Scott Kelly
made this clip to celebrate it by showing how you play ping-pong in space.
And what they do is they have these little bats that are built to move water.
And so this is just as a practical thing in space.
And so what they do is they play ping-pong using a droplet of water,
and you just hit a droplet of water over, and it heads that way, and then you hit it back.
He was playing on his own. I don't think it's caught on as a game yet.
Up in the ISS.
But I was watching this video, it was really interesting, because he's playing
and he's talking about it, and I noticed as I was watching it that he's wearing a belt.
I'm like, why are you wearing a belt in space?
Like, that's not going anywhere.
So I googled it, and I was looking, why wear a belt in space?
And it turns out you wear a belt in space to stop your trousers from falling up.
We need to move on to our next fact in a second.
Anyone got anything else before we do?
Just one last thing on Mike Brown, the astronomer at the centre of all of this.
I just love the title of his 2010 book on the whole matter.
It is How I Killed Pluto and Why It Had It Coming.
OK, it's time for our second fact of the show, and that is James Harkin.
OK, my fact this week is that the first use of the word snowmageddon
came in the same press release as the first apology for the use of the word snowmageddon.
Because of all the snow in America, I thought I'd see, like, the history of snowmageddon.
And I found a use in 2008.
It was a press release from the Canadian government, and they said about how it's snowmageddon.
And then right at the end, in a very Canadian way, they say,
we're sorry we're not trying to, like, take the mickey and say that it's not very important.
It is important. Sorry about snowmageddon.
No, we're really sorry.
And then snowmageddon was kind of not used that much for a couple of years.
And then in 2008 and in 2010, they had a massive storm in Washington, D.C.,
and that's when snowmageddon really took off.
Right.
And according to Wikipedia, there was a few other things.
Snowzilla, within a few hours of snowmageddon.
And apparently that storm also popularized the term Kaiser Snowzee.
Oh, man.
This later storm, it's produced a thing.
Because you guys, I'm sure, have all seen all the enormous snowfall on the East Coast of America.
It's been thundersnow is what's been produced.
Oh, yeah, because Scott Kelly tweeted it.
Scott Kelly, who is on the International Space Station,
I think that was how we found out, very early on when it was happening.
He tweeted thundersnow.
And because he's obviously such a knowledgeable guy, he said,
this is unbelievably rare, by the way, guys.
And it's even more rare that I'm seeing it from the other side of it.
But yeah, it's super rare, isn't it, thundersnow?
Yeah.
So it's where a storm, instead of producing rain, produces snow,
because of the different way the air rubs together or something.
So...
Some dirty bullshit that we're not going to give the time to.
I think when a cloud produces snow instead of rain,
it's usually just because it's cold.
You can blind me with all the meteorology you like, James.
I read today. I had no idea about this.
It snows on Mars.
So it's not your classic snow.
It's not your, like...
It's not like snow, but they...
But they call it...
Like, it's kind of like a snow.
Something cold that falls from the sky.
Yeah, exactly. And so the Mars rover was looking up, I don't know why.
It was just looking up, and it could see the snow coming down.
And it was having all time.
LAUGHTER
Wow, wow, wow, wow.
But so Mars has the craziest of atmospheres.
There's spots in Mars. In the same...
This was the article I was reading, and told me this.
If you stood in a certain spot of Mars,
your feet could be 21 degrees,
but your chest would be 0 degrees.
That's how the difference between down there to up here is.
There's so little atmosphere.
Here, to get out of the atmosphere,
you'd have to go really, really high,
but there, by your chest, you wouldn't be in the atmosphere anymore.
So it'd be really, really cold.
Actually, speaking of hot and cold,
I was reading...
So something that's happening to go back to Space News
is the Kepler Space Telescope
that was sent out a few years ago.
Was it back this year, I think?
And so that's found tons of new planets.
And one of the planets it's found
is this planet called Gliese 581c.
And what NASA says about that is,
so it's tidally locked.
So that basically means that it doesn't really rotate.
So half of it is...
One half of it is scorching hot,
while the other half is constantly frozen.
It is believed to be the best candidate for human expansion.
So the current storms in America,
there is a guy who's capitalising on them at the moment.
He started it last year.
It's a business called shipsnowyo.com.
He's called Kyle Wehring.
And you can buy snow in a box from him.
And he sends it over, and he keeps it cool.
And how does he make sure it doesn't melt?
He packs it in...
It's like an Ineski. He packs it in an Eski.
So he sends it over.
So an Eski is an Australian word for, like, a fridge.
Yeah, it's like, really?
It's like if you're going to the beach and you're bringing some bottles
and you're just going to sit there and down some tinies.
It's that kind of thing.
It's weird, because when the Australian comes out in you,
it really comes out.
It's crazy, by the way. I just can't sound it.
So just quickly, following up on this,
he offers...
By the time your Eskies arrived
and your snow's melted,
he offers you a refund and he'll send you a whole new batch of snow.
There's also someone...
So quite a few people have made it,
even though a lot of people are in serious trouble.
A lot of people actually are quite comfortable
and having a lot of fun with it.
People are making bars out of the snow and serving drinks there.
Yeah, they sold tons of extra booze, didn't they?
As soon as they knew the storm was coming,
they bought as much booze as they could possibly get.
Yeah, yeah.
And someone on Airbnb put up an igloo that they've built.
For $10 a night,
you can rent the igloo.
You've got to bring your own sleeping bag.
But suddenly, since reading the article,
it's been updated, the article,
and it's now no longer on Airbnb.
They're not sure if it was banned or if it melted.
So on naming storms,
this storm doesn't need a name
and the Weather Channel, I think,
is against the US Weather Channel.
It doesn't need a name.
Snowstorm is not a finite thing.
I think one meteorologist,
I was reading, said
it's just an extension of normal weather.
So something like that.
Everything's just an extension of normal.
There's no supernatural weather.
Something like a cyclone
has a very finite start and finish.
You can pick one exactly when it started
and exactly when it finished.
So they need names,
but storms don't.
The Weather Channel has announced
the storm names for 2016
and they are things like
Ajax, so there's going to be a storm
called Ajax, Kyla,
Quo, as in status,
and Zandor, Wailon,
and Yolo.
Storm Yolo.
You've been killed by Storm Yolo.
Well, you owe me die once.
There's a paper
in Canada that came out this week
that warned people
against eating snow.
Because, apparently,
snow is really good at collecting
bits from car exhausts
or bits of toxins from the air.
Snow is really, really good at picking it up.
So if you kind of take a little bit
of scoop of snow from the ground,
like a lot of people do,
and just kind of eat some of it.
Yeah, like everyone does.
It's snowing. Tonight we eat.
The South Korean government
a few years ago
made an explicit thing
to people saying,
you must not eat yellow snow.
There was an actual press release
saying you must not eat yellow snow.
And that's because they'd had this snow
that had come which was yellow
and it had heavy minerals
and stuff from some power stations.
Oh, really? Oh, wow.
And so that's the one reason
that you should never eat yellow snow.
Minerals from power stations.
We're going to have to move on.
There's one thing which is a new theory
that's erupted this week.
Penguins, they think may...
I mean,
there are so many qualifications
in this already.
You can get away with saying anything
at this point, though.
So penguins, they think...
They...
Think may...
Possibly.
When they're about to mate,
they will need a nice...
Wait, is this the they who think this?
No, this is the penguins.
No, the penguins, if it's true, know it.
It's our true thing there.
So they think that the penguins are like,
oh, we need somewhere to have a good time.
Why not here? But, oh, it's really...
It's really cold and icy and snowy.
So they'll poo on it and then the poo melts the snow
and then they go, now, that's where we have sex.
There's a new theory.
It's true that they poo.
Blah, blah, blah.
OK, time for fact number three,
and that is Andrew Hunter Murray.
OK, my fact is that this week we have discovered
the largest prime number ever.
We would have discovered it in September,
but the computer which found it forgot to tell anybody.
So this has happened.
So there are computers all over the world
looking for new prime numbers,
and they're up to really enormous ones now,
and they're very useful in encrypting stuff.
Yeah, they're called GIMPs, aren't they?
Yeah.
Something massive prime...
Great internet, Merzine, which I think, yeah,
Merzine prime search.
Yeah, Merzine. It's Merzine primes.
So these are prime numbers named after a French guy
called Merzine, and you can download
a computer program onto your computer
and it will look for these prime numbers.
And if you find one, then you get like 100 grand
or something like that, or $100,000.
And everyone...
A lot of people have put it onto their computer,
but the people who found it this week,
or last year or whatever it was,
they have so much computer processing power
that they've managed to find loads of them.
Right.
Yeah, I think they found like four of the last five or something like that.
That's right, yeah.
So the new one...
I'm going to read this out from here.
The new number is 5 million digits
longer than the previous largest one.
It's 2 to the power of 74 million,
207,281.
All of that.
Minus one.
If you were going to write it out
and you could write 10 digits
in four seconds, this is a calculation
by a New York Times correspondent,
it would take you three months
without slowing down.
It's got 22 million digits in it.
Like my phone!
LAUGHTER
It starts...
LAUGHTER
It starts...
It's not me when you get bored.
Stop, stop!
And then it ends...
And for people at home...
So you've just given away the ending.
There's no point in reading the middle now.
For people at home, we edited out the other 22 million.
I just didn't say.
And you can download the actual number
on your computer and have a look through it,
which I did.
LAUGHTER
It contains my six digit code
to access my bank account.
James, don't say that!
People will know!
It contains it 21 times.
Wow!
That's how big this number is.
It contains my library number twice,
and at one stage it has eight sevens in a row.
So I'm just giving you the edited highlights here.
LAUGHTER
I was watching an interview
with the guy who discovered it,
or rather the guy who set the computer up
that discovered it, and there was a moment
that, like, this is amazing.
There's the big new prime number it's beyond any
that we've had before. What can we do with it?
He was like, we have no idea.
So most of them can be used
for encrypting things on computers.
Unfortunately, this one is now such a global celebrity
that it will be noticed immediately
by hackers.
The thing is, you use prime numbers
in encryption
by taking two prime numbers,
multiplying them together,
and then it's finding the factors
of that secondary number.
Now, if you have a number which has got
23, 24 million digits in,
you know that one of them must be this number.
So everyone knows that it must be this one,
so it's really easy to crack.
So the only time this will be useful
is when we get some even bigger numbers that we can use.
Which we will do one day.
I'd never heard prime numbers described
like this, but they're the building blocks
of maths really, and they're the equivalent
of atoms in science, because prime numbers
are, because nothing goes into them,
everything else is a factor
of something else.
So everything else can be split up, but you can't split up a prime number.
Like that, the equivalent of an atom.
And something else I didn't know about prime numbers,
because you think that they're kind of so randomly distributed
if we've taken this long to work out
what, you know, the pattern is,
is that all prime
numbers, if you square them,
are a multiple of 24
and then adding one.
Now, you just write that down.
Not the really small ones.
Not the ones under 5.
Anything over 5.
How are we going to go through them all?
Yeah.
11 is, 13 is.
11 is.
Yeah, so they found this using
the GIMPS software.
And this is a weird thing
about GIMPS is
I don't know.
If you go on to Google
and type the word GIMPS into Google,
all of the first 5 things
that you get are about this prime number thing.
The same is not true
of Google images.
This is amazing.
So, Cicadas, you know,
there's that kind of Cicada in North America,
which only comes up to the surface
and breathes every...
Every 17 years.
Well, it's every prime number of years.
So, in some places, it's every 13 years.
In some places, it's every 17 years.
In some places, it's another prime number of years.
And, which sounds ridiculous,
but it was hypothesized
in the article I read that that actually does make sense
because if you come up in a prime number of years,
you have the least chance
of coinciding with predators
which also have, like, periodical patterns.
Because, so, let's say you come up
every 8 years, then if you're
hunted by a panther that appears
every 2 years, then they're going to bump into you a lot.
But if you're coming up every prime number of years,
then you're not going to bump
into predators every prime number of years.
Do you think there's a Cicada that comes up
every 2 to the 74 million
years? And the only reason we haven't
seen it is because, you know,
you'd be pretty lucky to see that, wouldn't you?
I don't know what a Cicada is.
It's a little insect.
Cicada fact, there's only one Cicada
in the UK.
One species of Cicada.
Not just one lonely Cicada.
Lonesome Trevor.
There's only one species of Cicada in the UK.
It's called the New Forest Cicada.
And we think they live in the New Forest,
but they might have died out, because no one's seen one for about 10 years.
And you should be able to hear the
call, but you can't really hear it
because it's outside of human hearing range.
But you can buy an app
and the app can hear the Cicada call
and so you can walk around the New Forest
with your app listening for Cicadas
and if you find one, then you'll have discovered
that they still exist.
That'd be cool, wouldn't it?
So I didn't find any prime number stuff,
but I started looking into numbers
of the week and there's a very famous set of numbers now.
There's going to be a long list now.
Six?
No, there was this week
a set of numbers which was, there was this
massive lotto, the big lottery draw
that went and there was a story about this lady
who thinks she's won the lottery,
has found the ticket that she's won with all the numbers,
but the barcode is missing.
She put it in the washing machine, didn't she?
Yes, she put it in the washing machine, it's missing.
It's one of those things where you think
that must be the worst situation, right,
that you've won the lottery and now you've not won it
because you've lost the thing.
And so I was looking into, is that genuinely
the worst situation anyone's had in the lottery?
And I found a guy that I think contends.
So this guy won the lottery.
Okay.
But this is what led up to him winning the lottery.
His name is Franz Seller.
He was a teacher who was born in 1929.
In 1962,
his train derailed and plunged
into an icy river and he managed
to escape and not die.
The next year, in 1963,
while flying, the door blew out
and he got sucked out of the plane
and he survived. It was all good.
Three years later, in 1966,
he's riding on a bunch.
He's riding on a bunch.
It's Australia, it's an Australian term.
I was riding along a bunch, mate.
Whatever you do, don't check that
on the Urban Dictionary when you get home.
So he's riding on a bus
and the bus suddenly
the bus plunges into a river.
He gets out and survives.
So this is 1962, 1963,
1966, 1970.
He must take no public transport
by this point.
Exactly. He's in his car.
Oh!
He's in his car
and it just blows up in flames.
So he escapes and he's all right.
So that's 1970.
1973, he's still
weary of public transport. In his car, once again,
another fire blows up in his car,
loses all his hair, manages to make it out.
There's a whole nice period between
1973 and 1995 when nothing
happens. He stayed at home.
But then he went out and got hit by a bus.
So that's 1995. Then in 1996,
he's back in his car.
He drove and another, either it was a truck
or a car, is coming towards him. He swerves away.
He manages to escape his car
as it plunges over a cliff, lands
in a tree and then the car
goes 300 feet down
and breaks into an icy river.
In 2003, he won the Lotto.
One million.
That's divine justice. That's amazing.
I think that's worse than losing your ticket
and not winning.
There was a couple, there were two other
very bad lottery stories.
So one couple, I think this was actually last year,
Ed Wiener and David Nyland,
who had an Lotto app
and they got the right numbers
and they sent them off in the app
and they'd won 35 million pounds
and their app broke and it failed.
So they had the photographic evidence
that they tried to send it on the app
and it only sent it after the deadline
and they sent it on their phone
to search for cicada noises
in the new forest.
OK, let's move on
to our final fact of the show
and that is Chazimski.
Yes, my fact is that
in a press release about
the new English language test for migrants,
the British government misspelled the word
language.
But yeah, this has been a big
story over the last few weeks.
There's the new test for migrants
and there's lots of controversy
and people who even if they're on spousal visas
if they fail these language tests
they might be made to leave the country
and it turns out the people who are releasing the press release
spell language with the A and the U
the wrong way around.
There was a very snotty reply from the government.
The Prime Minister's official spokesman said
all of us are open to mistakes at times.
The Prime Minister is fully confident
that his team speak English competently.
LAUGHTER
Touched a bit of a nerve.
LAUGHTER
I went through, I basically
haven't researched that much of this because I just went through
trying to find the mistakes in all government
bits of legislation
over the last 50 years.
Well, first of all, the independent put together
a list of 10 questions that are taken from the government's list
of possible migrant language
questions and here's the
independence introduction to the questions.
Listen to the sentence, the questions below
are taken from practice exams
for the B1 test that those who need to prove
their knowledge of the English language to gain
their indefinite leave to remain
full stop.
Wow!
Ooh, it's like a cliffhanger of a sentence.
LAUGHTER
Full stop.
And then, so one of the questions is,
maybe I'm wrong about this, but it's multiple choice questions
and it's a completely under the sentence.
So one of them is, have you finished with the newspaper
and it's ABCD
?
Is this to gain citizenship?
Yeah, yeah, to gain citizenship.
You have to say whether you've finished with the newspaper.
LAUGHTER
That's the only criteria.
Just give the frickin' newspaper back, you can come in the country.
LAUGHTER
No, it's have you finished with the newspaper and then it's
what is the grammatically correct ending to the sentence?
Have you finished with the newspaper now,
still, yet, or already?
Now, the answer they want,
and I did the test, yet is the answer they want,
already is completely correct.
Yeah, if you want to be really passive-aggressive about it.
LAUGHTER
You can say, have you finished with that newspaper already?
No, it's not that.
It's the opposite of that.
So they want you to find the trap of the American,
have you finished with the newspaper already?
But you could also just ask the valid question,
have you finished with the newspaper already?
Hasn't have you read it that fast?
Have you finished with the newspaper already?
Completely correct.
You could also passive-aggressively say,
have you finished with the newspaper now?
LAUGHTER
What more British than that?
LAUGHTER
It doesn't make any sense.
Yeah.
So my wife, who's Russian,
she will have to take these tests quite soon.
And she was trying out some questions
from the citizenship test,
which is like a general knowledge test.
And she tried them out on me,
and literally I got none of them right.
Really? Yeah. And my general knowledge is not bad.
Right. I brought along one to test you,
because I think your general knowledge is quite good.
OK, well, one of the ones that she was asked
in the practice test was,
what is a national dish of whales?
Oh! Oh!
Oh. Oh. Oh.
Oh, yeah. Cool.
Well, you might think that, according to the government...
Well, exactly, but according to the government,
it's Welsh cakes.
Sorry, fellas.
Sorry, guys.
The Home Office will be sending them.
Oh, dear.
Welsh cakes? Yeah, apparently, Welsh cakes.
But the other thing is,
if I want to become a citizen of Russia,
I would have to take a Russian language test.
And the Russian language test
has all the normal things that you would expect.
But you also have to be able to
interpret hidden meanings.
Wow.
That's cool.
You know, Bill Bryson released a new book,
The Road to Little Dribbling.
And it's all in the beginning.
He talks about taking a test to become a British citizen.
He decided to become it.
And he was saying that not only are there mistakes
in the test, but in the books that guide you
into how to take the test
are just completely filled with mistakes.
One that he pointed out was
they were talking about Anthony Hopkins
and saying that he's someone to be proud of
as a British person.
They spelled his name wrong.
And also, he's taken up American citizenship.
He's not a British anymore.
Tina Turner is Swiss now.
Is she?
Wow.
So, I was looking into the news
for other language mess-ups
over the last week.
And I found one that happened in Sweden.
They were having at their parliament
a political debate about
very serious issues, actually. It was like a really long debate.
They made a mistake, though,
of when they transmitted it.
They put the wrong subtitles onto the debate.
So, you had guys
like Jean Borglund,
who's the Minister of Education,
looking really serious, saying something really serious.
But the subtitles are reading,
I will build the best sandcastle in the galaxy.
I built for him.
And then you had Stephen Loffen,
the Prime Minister,
going, the latest invention,
the Fantastic Dinosaur Submarine.
And then the Minister for Environment
going,
Greetings, Earth Creatures.
I have two pairs of boots.
One red pair and one yellow pair.
Which one should I take?
I'm going to ask my dolls.
I don't know where they got those original subtitles from.
Yeah, it was a cartoon animation
about dinosaurs.
Sounds great.
You know that Godzilla
has just been awarded Japanese citizenship?
It was done as a press PR stunt,
obviously.
But it was in a particular district
of Tokyo that he got a Shinjuku,
which is a very cool, extremely busy one.
I think that it's very near
the famous crossing in Tokyo, Shibuya Crossing.
But they released the certificate
which they'd done.
And it said, previous visits to Shinjuku ward
three, Godzilla, 1984,
Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah,
1991, and Godzilla
Millennium, 1999.
That's very good.
We're going to have to wrap up in a sec.
So yeah, anything you want to...
Just to get South Korean citizenship,
the test requires you to sing the first four verses
of the national anthem. Sing it in tune.
Wow.
That's a tough gig, isn't it?
And the Dutch citizenship,
you have to watch a video that includes beach nudity.
Where's the film?
Do you know what?
I'll do it even if they don't give me Dutch citizenship.
It's because they're such a liberal country,
they want to show you what to expect
if you come to the Netherlands.
If people come from other countries
that are a bit more conservative,
they might turn up into the Netherlands
and think, wow, what's going on here?
Beach nudity.
So they want to show it so that you're not shot
when you see it in real life.
Or you cry then.
Or both.
Feelings are confusing, Adam.
OK, that's it.
That's all of our facts.
That's all of our facts.
Thank you so much for listening.
If you would like to get in contact with any of us
about the things we've said
over the course of this podcast,
we can be found on our Twitter account,
so I'm on at Shriverland, James.
At Eggshapes. Andy.
At Andrew Hunter M. Cherzinski.
You can email podcast.qi.com.
Or you can go to atqipodcast
or go to our site, no such thing as a fish.com.
We've got all of our previous episodes up there.
We're going to be back again next week.
Thank you so much for being here, guys.
We'll see you then. Goodbye!
Thank you.