Normal Gossip - Dog Salon Divas with Hayes Brown

Episode Date: December 6, 2023

Hayes Brown joins us to learn just how deranged the world of upscale dog grooming can be. Follow Hayes on Twitter @HayesBrown. Sign up to hear Normal Gossip's next secret here. Support Radiotopia's fall fundraiser! You can support Normal Gossip directly by buying merch or becoming a Friend or a Friend-of-Friend at supportnormalgossip.com. Our merch shop is run by Dan McQuade. You can also find all kinds of info about us and how to submit gossip on our Komi page: https://normalgossip.komi.io/ Episode transcript here. Follow the show on Instagram @normalgossip, and if you have gossip, email us at [e-mail] or leave us a voicemail at 26-79-GOSSIP. Normal Gossip is hosted by Kelsey McKinney (@mckinneykelsey) and produced by Alex Sujong Laughlin (@alexlaughs). Jae Towle Vieira (@jaetowlevieira) is our associate producer. Abigail Segel (@AbigailSegel) is our intern. Justin Ellis is Defector's projects editor. Credits read by Emma Deshpande. Show art by Tara Jacoby. Normal Gossip is a proud member of Radiotopia.

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Join the congregation and listen to scam goddess wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to normal gossip. I'm Kelsey McKinney and in each episode of this podcast, we're going to bring you an anonymous morsel of gossip from the real world. I am so happy to have with me today. Hey, it's Brown. Hey, it's welcome. Hello, Kelsey. I am, I can't, I can't with this right now. That I'm actually doing this with you right now. I am so happy you're here.

I'm going to tell the people who you are before we get into it, okay? Okay, okay. Hey, it's Brown, is a writer and editor for MSNBC daily, MSNBC's digital opinion page where he helps frame the news of the day for readers and appears as an on-air guest on the network. Hayes was previously at Buzzfeed News, Rest in Peace, where he was the deputy world news

editor alongside other semi-random jobs. He also hosted in Peachment today, a daily podcast covering the first Trump impeachment. I love the word first. And then co-hosted the podcast news at clock. His written work has also appeared in Think Progress, also Rest in Peace, the outline, also Rest in Peace, foreign policy, and the week. Any holds a degree in international relations from Michigan State University. Hey, welcome to the podcast. Kelsey, thank you so much. I am just overjoyed to be here with you. I cannot explain

how pleased I am to be doing this. Ah, the words screaming, throwing up, come to mind. I internally, I am just like overstimulated to the point of vomiting and that will continue throughout this entire process. And I think that that's the right vibe just in general for what we're gonna do today. Yes. I was told that you brought a gossip story for me and then also I saw you waving around a piece of paper earlier. Can you, can I know what's on there?

You may. So I sent out a call to some of my good friends and one of them really delivered a best friend Yes, so this story comes pre-anonymized So this friend of a friend. Let's call her Sarah. Okay. Is a lovely woman back in February She was dating a guy that we're calling Dallas Dallas She was dating a guy that we're calling Dallas. Dallas! Dallas, pretty wealthy, divorced, had a kid, but they were really happy together. Sarah had also been married before.

She married young and she's a wimp. Oh, tragic. tragic, but they were good together. But then, Dallas got a seven-figured job offer in Singapore. Right. What's that like? Right? Who knows?

But Sarah is studying to be a nurse here in New York City, and so they realize they have to break up. It varies that. The time difference to Singapore, that's not manageable. Right. So we fast forward to about a couple of weeks ago, right? So we fast forward to about a couple of weeks ago, right? When Dallas gets back in touch with Sarah and says like, look, I really need to talk to you. In the meantime, in that like, yeah, she had started dating someone else, but didn't tell the new guy

that she was going to meet up with her ex because she's like, eh, what if it's nothing? What he wanted to tell her though was that he's not moving to Singapore. And he had actually spent the last eight months negotiating with this company to give him the same salary they would have given him in the Singapore office in the New York office. What?

Because when, yes, because when Sarah said that she wasn't going to move with him, Dallas re-evaluated his entire life, realized he couldn't live without her. And so he showed up to this meeting with Sarah, with a plan to put her on the mortgage of his condo. This is... He showed up with a diamond tennis bracelet,

saying he was still in love with her and wanted to marry her. And if she was open, he would propose when she's ready, but she can keep the bracelet either way. This is like, everything you're saying is like the kind of fantasy that your friend tells you at brunch. Like I just feel that he's gonna do this and you're like, curly, you're delusional.

Like this is never gonna happen. You are a boldly rude look. But this happened and Sarah apparently had the leverage to say, okay, I'll think about it. And then sent him a $35,000 Emerald and Diamond engagement. And he's like, oh yeah, that's doable. No problem, I can get you that.

So she told her person she was dating that she's getting back with her ex. The guy went on a crazy racist rant because Dallas is Asian, so bullet dogs. Wow, truly bullet dogs. So yeah, that happened, that is a real life thing that happened. I know, take a second, breathe, take it all in. I think what's freaking me out is this is like urban legend territory of the reason

that people have false hope, right? Like it scares me because I'm like, there's no way. Like he spent eight months convincing, like, one, okay, girl boss, incredible to convince them to give you seven figures to stay in New York City, but also what? Yeah, apparently he had cut off like most contact with her and she was feeling like some kind of way about.

But turns out he didn't want, it's because he didn't want to give her false hope. So I'm negotiating with this, I'm gonna try and make it happen. So she was like, well, I guess he's like just gone, he's moving on. And so I'm gonna move on. And then he shows up and it's like so, yes. Thank you. I appreciate your reporting of this gossip and your bringing it to us.

I'm sure the listeners will also be very grateful. If Dallas has, you know, brothers or cousins who are similar to him, I recommend him getting touched because I have a lot of single friends who would like to meet them. I would like to. Yeah. I would like to meet them too, would like to. Yeah. I would like to meet them too. Honestly, like, you know what? Yes. What are they up to? I love this

story. Thank you for bringing it to me. Do you want to hear the story that I have? I want nothing. Oh my god. Okay. Let's get into it. You ready to gossip? I'm ready to gossip. I'm ready to gossip. I'm ready to gossip. I'm ready to gossip. I'm ready to gossip. I'm ready to gossip. I'm ready to gossip. I'm ready to gossip.

I'm ready to gossip. I'm ready to gossip. I'm ready to gossip. I'm ready to gossip. I'm ready to gossip. I'm ready to gossip. I'm ready to gossip. I'm ready to gossip.

I'm ready to gossip. I'm ready to gossip. I'm ready to gossip. I'm ready to gossip. I'm ready to gossip. I'm ready to gossip. I'm ready to gossip. I'm ready to gossip. I'm ready to gossip. I'm ready to gossip. Can you tell me about how you get your haircut? Yeah, sure. So I actually, it's actually pretty ridiculous.

Okay, great. Because I started growing my hair out. For years, I just got like a super short like buzz cut kind of thing going, right? And then around like 2017, 2018 started growing it out, but it had no idea what to do with it. A classic problem. A couple of very bad hair fans that see you. Where it's like, oh, should I just buzz it all off and start over? And then I found a place that it's a salon that specializes in black hair, it's unisex.

And the problem is though that since the pandemic, it has over doubled in price. I'm sorry that happened to you. That's bad. That's bad. It's very boutique. Very is pretty bougie. I love that. I'm not going to lie.

Just take my money. I'm going to not think too hard about that. Incredible. I ask because our friend of our friend today, Amber works at a bougie salon. She started there like right after high school and she loves it. It's communal, it's gossipy, it's lighthearted. This space is like not large,

but it's very well decorated. Like tall check-in counter, nice host, like huge mirrors with frames, like stainless steel washing stations, right, like beautiful. The customers are adorable, usually, but sometimes they're bad. I mean, yeah, they wine, they moan. Sometimes they bark.

Oh. Yeah, because it's dog salon where she works. Oh Okay, you know you had me. Yeah, you really you got me. You had me I was there and then you pulled the twist you pulled the rug out from under me and I appreciate that. How do you feel about this? About dogs allons in general about this particular bougie both I Mean I appreciate the. I think that I have never taken my own dog to a dog salon. Mostly because he hates leaving the apartment. Forlatable. Right. He does not enjoy water. So I'm like, my stress boat is out. I am very curious about the pricing structure. And I like, I'm like, why stress boats of us out? I am very curious about the pricing structure

and I'm one of the, I judge a little, a little bit. I mean, some dogs need it. Yes. Like a long haired breed, like an English sheep dog or dogs that were with fur that cannot, it's necessary, I get it. Someone has to take care of that. Okay, so I think your inclination to being judgy is correct here because this is like

a fancy dog salon, which is why we call it a dog salon and not like a dog wash. Right, a dog wash. Or a dog wash, yes. This salon is called Houndstooth. Oh, that's beautiful. Oh, no, that's, oh, that's so toad. Mm-hmm. Yes.

Houndstooth. I am impressed and annoyed at the same time. The dogs that come to this place are fancy. They are like little fancy dogs that go inside purses. Big fancy dogs with too much hair, show dogs getting ready for their big day, and also muts that just have really rich owners. Right. Amber loves this job. She's like, I love dogs, I love making them pretty, I

love the vibes at Huntstooth, which are like a maculet. But what she really loves are like her coworkers and the people that she gets to hang out with all day. Right. But one summer, all of her coworkers start leaving. One bought a house, moved to a more affordable city, one yelled at a customer who said that she wanted her dog to have extensions. No. No, wait.

So was she fired? I was saying, for yell. I mean, why? No, because the customer was wrong. Don't need extensions. Oh, no. Hold on, this is going to take a second process. I'm so sorry. I know you have more of a list.

No, good. I'm going to be stuck. The phrase dog extensions. Sometimes the customer isn't right. The phrase dog extensions is going to be playing in my head on loop for days now. OK, continue. One of our coworkers was left because they started dating

the owner's daughter. Escondola. Escondola is at this place are huge. So now poor Amber is the only one left at this boutique dog salon and she is drowning in appointments like way too many dogs. And she's mad because she's usually at this place whoever the newest employee is has to do the worst task. Obviously. But the worst task here is cleaning out the drains, which are full of dog hair, which is disgusting. And now Amber has to do that.

And she's like, I've been here for five years, I should not have to do this. You're above drain duty, Amber. Yes, your Amber, what do you do? I mean, I start asking my friends, hey, who likes dogs? Does anyone want to come work with me at this great dog salon?

It's a workers market. I'm just for here. You can negotiate for a great salary. It might be better than mine. Oh no, it's just come on and please save me. Yes. And also you have to deal with dog hair. I love that plan.

Amber is like, I'm gonna talk to the owner of the lawn and be like, I can't keep doing this. I'm gonna die. So she goes and talks to the owner of the lawn and is like, hey, I am working all the time. There are so many dogs I'm drowning. Please help me. And the owner is like, would you consider becoming the manager?

Oh. Do you think she should be the manager? I mean, I have no idea about her organizational skills, but being manager automatically means that there is going to be someone below you to deal with the dog hair drain. So, not bad. I mean, bump up that salary, make sure it's not just a title boost. Remember, the owner also should be desperate here, considering there's only one employee. Yes. An employee. So, uh, uh, play your cards right, Ambers do this I yes take the job but negotiate Yeah, Amber's like I know Cheryl Sandberg exists lean in baby. She's like I want to raise

Immediately she's like and I'm interested in being a manager, but manage who? Yeah, I'm the only one here. So she's like, I want three people hired by the end of this month. Ooh, we like Amber. Amber is a go-kater. She is, and the owner is like, done. She's like, I've been hiring your first hire starts tomorrow.

That feels like something that Amber might have should have known before that, but okay, sure, spray it now. No, why not? Next day comes. It's her first day as manager. She's like, here I go. She arrives to open the salon. And already a woman is there. She's in her like mid-60s. She has purple hair. This is Queenie. Queenie is the new hire. Okay. Okay.

I were talking purple like old woman like light lavender purple or we talk it purple like deep like rich royal purple. Love it. Love her wonderful. Here's Queenie's deal. Queenie used to be a nail artist for fancy celebrities. I really hope you were about to say for fancy dollars. That works too. No, she like did fashion week nails. She did like nails for people going on tour, nails for Hollywood superstars.

And all of those people drove Queenie fucking bunkers. So one day after some model was like, you have to remove all of my acrylic nails because they're like one millimeter or two long and put them back on. Queenie was like you have to remove all of my acrylic nails because they're like one millimeter to log and put them back on Queenie was like no more divas And so she quit doing celebrity nails and she went to like dogs salon school Which is a thing I've just learned apparently as you took like a ton of supplemental classes And so she's like now the only divas for me are dogs and guess what dogs can't talk Correct. We love a late-in-life career shift. Good for you, Queenie. Yeah, exactly. So Amber's like welcome Queenie

So glad you're here. Here's your station Queenie immediately starts pulling out like fancy products And so as Queenie's doing her first dog, Amber is like, oh, I realized like what kind of stylist Queenie is, which is that Queenie creates a spa like atmosphere for the dog. She has very expensive shampoo's and conditioners. She's pampering the dog, massaging the dog,

playing like calming music for the dog. Like that's her whole thing. Okay, okay, yep, sure. You know what, as long as the owner of said dog is willing to pay for such fanciness, yes, sure, why not? Oh my God. Can you foresee any problems on the horizon at this point? Are you still feeling good?

I'm feeling cautiously optimistic. Like my biggest concern right now is that Queenie might outbuji the other future workers. So that's like she's said in a bar pretty high for everyone who's to come after. So I'm like I'm hoping that the owner is looking for squeany level people at this. The first week with squeany goes great. She's a great worker. She's got all of her shit in order. She's very well organized and very good with the dogs. Yes. Early the next week the second hire starts. Her name is Savannah. Savannah is like, really? I am not here to make friends hours. Like she is like, I put my headphones in, I come to work, I do my work, I go home.

Okay. Which is efficient. Yeah, absolutely. And she's not like, as into the swanky stuff as Queenie, which is like helpful because sometimes you have dogs that just need to be like, shampooed. Doesn't have a ton of her own supplies, but that's fine. Savannah and Queenie only talk like at lunch.

The rest of the time they are working independently. And so Amber is like, I'm the best manager of all time. Like everyone is doing great. But then two weeks after Savannah is hired, Amber goes into the little break room and Savannah and Queenie are whispering and when she comes in they stop. Red flag, red flag, danger, danger. What? Why danger? Well, one, they don't talk. Why are you talking? Two,

why did you stop when Amber walked into the room? I mean, as as someone who I wouldn't say is paranoid, but given like the circumstances of the story telling environment, I'm worried for Amber immediately. Yes, Amber is also worried for Amber immediately. Amber is like, are they whispering about me? So she like has absolutely no chill. And it's like, if you guys have something to say to me, please just say it. I mean, yeah, go for it. I mean, as someone who can be more conflict avoidant, I'm honestly impressed with that sort of attitude that just like, you know what,

I just want to nip this in the bud. If there's anything that's wrong, just let me know, as opposed to me, who'd be like, you know what, I'm sure you'll get to me eventually if it's something that's a problem. Like they'll just tell me. I'll just talk to all six of my friends about

how I'm really concerned about this for a month and never asking anyone about it. Yeah, I relate to that. Precisely. Yeah. The good thing about being direct is that you get a direct answer immediately. So Quidi and Savannah are like, no girl,

we're not talking about you. And Amber's like, okay, but then who were you, who were you talking about? If it's not about me, like I want in. And they're like, we heard something on the rumor mill. It's gossip within gossip. It's gossip within gossip. It's a play within a play.

We're doing an ad with your kids. It's a tablin baby. A family. Amber's like, what did you hear? And Queenie's like, we heard that Hounds Chuth has hired Dina. You say that with such implications and I would love to know more about this Dina and why they are so famous slash infamous. You will. Amber is Amber knows who Dina is and Amber is immediately like heart rate racing. She's like, where did you hear that?

And Queenie is like shrugging. She's like, oh, you know, all the stylists are talking about it. Queenie is like, do you know anything about this? Like, do you know if we poached Dina? And Amber does not know anything about this. What do you do? Okay, first of all, if it's a poach situation,

that means that Dina is working somewhere good and she is good. Yes. So on the one hand, yay, on the other hand, the owner is really not sharing vital information with her manager at this point. And that's got to change. This information blackout situation is very stressful to me and I'm assuming

Yes, Amber immediately calls the owner. And she's like, hello, excuse me. Did we hire Dina? Like all the girls are talking. And the owner is like, oh, I wanted it to be a surprise. And Amber is like, okay, maybe let's not do that. Surprise it. Like, I need to know what's happening here, please.

But she is also psyched. Because Dina, as you have surmised, the dog stylist in this city. She's got hundreds of thousands of Instagram followers. She makes like beautiful little reels and tic-tocs of like the dog transformations. She traveled out of like out of the country to learn Japanese grooming styles so that she can turn the dogs like hair

into these like special shapes. She is like inspiring the next generation of dog stylists. Well, as long as she's inspiring the user, I can't pull. Amber is thrilled because she's like, Dina is insanely technically talented. Like, she can do things that no one else can do. Like, she can do perms. She can do highlights.

Amber is like, if anyone could add extensions to a dog, it's dine up. Oh, but would she, but does she know enough to not? Like, that's my question. Wow. Would you like to see an example? Oh, God, yes. Oh, God. Oh, no. Oh Oh no. Oh no. I- oh, it looks so happy, but it should have. No. Tell the listeners what you see. What I see is a before and after on the left, it looks to be like a beijon frise, some kind of fluffy white little dog. On the left is it it's overgrown furs in its eyes, its whiskers are too long and have those little brown streaks on it that are very tragic that white dogs get. And like buddy clearly can't see just not great. And on the right is the after where on the one hand the pup looks so much happier. The fur is very neatly cut,

tight, like instead of having loose curls everywhere, it's very teddy bear lamb looking. But then on top is what I can only describe as a very 90s flasso, like a shorter version of Gerald from Hey Arnold if you're of a certain generation, you know, like full on like, if that were a character in a 90s sitcom, his name would be Jermani. That is the hairstyle we're talking about. Would you like to see another example of what Diana can do? Yes, please. Here it is. Oh, hmm. I don't know how I feel about this one. So it took me a second to process what I'm looking at.

And this is, it does resemble in a sense, dog extensions. It's a husky, malamute-y looking dog, black and white. And in there for, there's feathers, like bright, multicolored, some striped feathers, like put in its hair, put put in its like below its ear like it's where you would see like a ponytail hanging or something like that And I'm like is this appropriation? What's happening here? Like I don't know who would be appropriated but it makes me immediately think What are you mimicking and why is it feel a little offensive on the inside? Yes, it's like

What are you mimicking? And why is it feel a little offensive on the inside? Yes, it's like, um, White Girls in 2010 at Coachella, hours. Yes. In this dog. Right, it's like, wow. I, you know what, if you can scam someone out of,

I'm sure hundreds of dollars for some tacky feathers in their dogs fur, you know what, more power to you. Sure, I guess on that one level, I will accept this level of scam. But, hmm, weird. Amber is like thrilled. She's like, I'm so glad we got Dina. Dina is a genius.

Dina is supremely talented. And that is where your problem starts. Like working with geniuses never goes well unless they are like, they're very like, so assume like geniuses, one person of the world, right? 0.1% of those people are well-adjusted, normal people that you want to spend time with. Yes.

Amber immediately goes like, Waltzing back into the break room and is like, great news we got, Dina. And Queenie and Savannah are so excited. They're like, she's so talented. This is so great. Like, how's to this really moving up? I'm shaking my head because I feel like they're overlooking

a couple of key issues here that I'm really curious. So I feel like issue number one is you're now working with the genius. Everyone's going to want to book the genius. You are automatically the backup to Dina in terms of bookings. And going back to my original genius point, like, yeah, she's very good, but I've heard nothing about how she is to work with and like, oh, I've heard she's so nice, she's so funny. Just know that she's so talented. And like, that is a red flag to me.

Yes. Dina arrives the next morning. She's 15 minutes late. She is wearing those like tiny tiny sun glasses. She like looks like the stylist from the Princess Diaries. Yeah. She has two suitcases with her roller bags. They are filled with products. Like she has mousse-s, she has like gels, she has scissors, she has feathers, she has like sparkly tinsel, who knows what that's for?

She has protractors. And she also has like dog treats and dog toys. Protractors is what we're doing right now. Because if you guys had seen like with your eyes, the image of these dogs, then yeah, you're gonna need a protract to get those angles so exact. Exactly. Dina shows up everyone's so happy to meet her.

She introduces herself and then she does not stop talking for the entire eight hours that she's there. About what? You know, whatever she thinks of. Oh, no. She is just a talker. Yep, okay. Amber is like, maybe she's nervous.

The next day is the same. She comes in, she like turns down the music so that they can all talk. Oh, okay. So Savannah is already like, I'm just here to listen to my music, not listen to Dynah, so this is already a problem brewing. Yeah. On the third day of Dynah's tenure, everyone is swapped. When this little tiny dog is brought in, This dog has a problem that I have now learned

is extremely common in dog salons, which is that the dog has a lot of matting in its fur because he isn't brushed for whatever reason. And so the stylist needs to brush out all the mats. But the people who bring in these kinds of dogs that are very matted, they always have the same excuse, which is like my relative watched the dog over the weekend, and then he just became very matted by magic in like three days. Within, yeah, clearly, like, I brush Lord Fantleroy here, thrice daily,

and then when my instructions were not followed once, look at him, look at him. Looks like garbage exactly So the woman who brings in this dog is like I want What did you say Lord fontol Roy brushed and I want him Unmatted and I want to pay the same amount that I would usually pay for a dog to just be groomed Yeah pay for a dog to just be groomed. Yeah. No, I'm sorry.

Like this is houndstooth plus dino. Exactly. This is, we have a scale here and those scale is only for rich people. So Amber is like, okay, we'll take the dog. You're going to have to pay extra for us to unmat it and the, the woman's like, sure, whatever money is no object to me. Like, please make my dog beautiful again. And Amber's like, great. So she goes around and she's like,

Quini, do you have time for this dog? And Quini's like, no, I have like eight dogs on my schedule. They're all returning, they're all fancy. Amber's like, okay, she goes to Savannah. Savannah takes out her earbud where she's like listening to music to ignore Dina. And Savannah's like, no, she goes to Savannah. Savannah takes out her earbud where she's like listening to music to ignore Dina. And Savannah's like, no, I'm doing 20 dogs today. Like I don't have time for this.

Amber's like, I also don't have time for this because I need to work the front desk and I need to like manage. So she goes over to Dina. Dina has spent all morning braiding the ear hair on a cocker spaniel. I'm the horror. God damn it Dina. Amber's like Dina. I really love what you're doing here. Really respect this. Could you help me with this severely mad dog instead? And Dynast, like, I'm so sorry, but I've only done one of these cockroars being ill, so I have to do the other one. And Amber's like, okay, so she goes back to Queenie,

and she's like, Queenie, please, can you please fit the stock in? And Queenie is like sure, but she is clearly pissed. Yeah. You have to manage them. Yeah. Yeah. How? I feel like if I'm amber at this point, like, I don't know, my personally type is like, I would have bitten the bullet in as amber. I'm like, well, okay, if they're all busy, I'm just gonna do it myself just to make sure it happens. So I don't make anyone else upset. I might fall behind and I might have to stop and start to like go help people up front, but they're all doing their own thing.

So I'm gonna take Lord Fountain Roy and spend like an hour and a half brushing out his mats. When I really just wanna take a razor and buzz it all off because that's what that's what the owner deserves at this point, but no, I'm going to be a good worker. Amber hands off Lord Fontler Roy to Queenie and she's like, thank you for your service. The next week, word of Dina being at Houndstooth has gotten around. So people are coming in with like truly the most arranged requests you could possibly

imagine. Like they're like, can you make my golden retriever look like this poodle? And Dynas like, yes. And then she spends all day making a golden retriever look like a poodle. And that's cool. But that also means she's doing a dog a day. Yes. When everyone else is like eight, 10, 20 dogs. Yes, that is exactly the problem. It's like in the different styles, right? Savannah can do the most dogs because she's not doing anything fancy.

So she's also making a good amount of money because she's doing like 15, 20 dogs a day. Right. Queenie is doing her little like bougie version, like 20 dogs a day. Queenie is doing her little like bougie-er version, like 10 dogs a day. And Dina is doing one or maybe two dogs per day. Mm-hmm. So now you have like a little bit of a resentment problem. Shock, I never could have seen this coming. On Friday, things have gotten so bad that when a woman comes in with a fluffy dog and

she's like, oh my god, I'm so sorry, something crazy happened on the way and he got a scorpion stuck in his tail. Can you take care of that? Excuse me. Excuse. As in the scorpion is alive and you just have to catch and release it and try not to get stung in the process. Yes. Taken to the vet first.

But no, you guess you had in the point. Yeah, she has an appointment. Things are so bad in this salon at this point that Amber is like, I'm going to deal with the scorpion. Like I cannot even think about asking someone else to do it because they will all lose their minds. As they should, because what I mean, it could the only thing worse would be a snake. If they had come in and said, okay, the scorpion is stuck there, but it's inspiration. So not only can you make my dog look like a scorpion. As no ma, she does moment in time. Amber does it.

Like it takes her a while, but she gets rid of the scorpion and is like, I'm successful or whatever, but now she's in like the worst mood of all time because she spent all morning trying to not get stung by a scorpion. Yeah, and not get the dog stung by a scorpion. Yes.

She's in this shit mood. When Queenie comes up to her, it is like, I need to talk to you And Amber's like okay And Queenie is like Dina is stealing my very expensive dog conditioner and using it Okay plot twist did not see this being an issue when she'd already come in with several rollerbags and stuff. Though now I'm looking back and thinking how much that did I not pay for. Did she just load up her rollerbags at the last dog to allow her way out? Because Spearsy Fury. I am full on. I

believe anything about this point. Amber is like, okay, how do you know that she's stealing your very expensive dog conditioner and using it all? And Queenie is like, my product is always moved when I go into wash my dogs. And Amber's like, okay, but dogs are like a little rambunctious. So sometimes things just get moved. Like they hit the conditioner with their tail and then it gets picked up and put somewhere else. Like how do you know? And like Dina has all these fancy products she brought with her. Like why Amber's like this, things aren't making sense to me. And Queenie is like, I know she's

doing it. She's such a diva. Oh my God. Queenie's having PTSD flashbacks. She's back in her own personal celebrity now, right now. Yes. Oh, poor Queenie. She's like, this is my worst nightmare. I've been returned into hell. And the hell is women who think that they are the most important thing in the world, doing whatever they want all the time.

Amber is like, okay, I hear you, totally understand. Let's take a breath. Maybe she used your conditioner just because she had a difficult dog or something. Let's wait before we freak out. And Queenie is like, okay, but then the next week, she comes back and it's like, there is less product than before she is stealing my product

Hmm I This is a tough one because there's really no evidence At this point to point fingers Ed Dina there's no like I saw her pick up the bottle and use it When she thought I wasn't looking it is vibes only yeah and use it when she thought I wasn't looking. It is vibes only, yeah. There's no, this dog smells like this conditioner that she was working on.

And I know that she isn't have this scent in her, there's nothing, not even circumstantial evidence. Amber is like, I will talk to Dina. So she goes to Dina, she's like, Dina, is there any way that you could be accidentally using Queenie's products when you are washing your dogs? And Dina is like absolutely not. I have a sponsorship with this fancy celebrity dog product line. I would never use Queenie's products. Oh, again, I'm torn between admiration and disgust at this point.

Kim, there are people dying. There are people dying, Kim, is how I feel right now. This is our real Kim, there are people dying, story. Just across the board. Amber is like, thank you, Dina, for this information. And then she goes back to Queenie and she's like, Queenie, Dina says she's not using your conditioner. She says that she always uses this one brand. She's like, I don't know what to tell you. And Queenie is like, not happy. Things are like slowly escalating. But after like a month of all of these women being

hired, Amber is finally able to let someone else open this lawn instead of her. She's like, great day for me, I get to sleep in. Terrible day. She's sleeping in when her phone rings and it's Dina. Do you answer it? I mean, yes, because what if it's like, oh my god, this lawn is on fire, help, Yes, because what if it's like, oh my god, this alone is on fire, help, or like, uh, oh no, a dog has been brought in with like a bear trap attached to it. We can't convince that owner to go to the vet. Like if there's like an actual emergency, yes, but my, my gut is saying it's not. But it's her first time.

She's never been manager or never let someone else open the store, she picks up the phone. Amber is like, I'm sleepy if it's an emergency they'll call again. Immediately, Diana calls again. God damn it, Diana. So Amber's like, hello, what? And Diana is like mad, mad. And she's like, Queenie, open the salon.

And so then she got to delegate who gets which dogs and Amber is like yes That's how opening works and Dynast like okay, but Queenie has nine dogs and I only have one Excuse me wait, mm-hmm. I'm sorry, is she mad about the system as it has functioned here to four? Mm-hmm. Yes. She just mad the someone else has decided this? Yes.

I'm confused on several levels now. And she's like, I just can't believe that Queenie had the gall. And then when I asked her how come she only gave me one dog, she said, you only ever do one anyway. And Amber's like in her head, like, that's true though. Oh yeah. Thank you.

Like, okay, and any alternative is worse. You get that right, Diana, that's worse. If you're normally given like four or five dogs and you do one or two, that's worse. I need you to understand that that's worse, Dina. Amber's like, I'm so tired. I don't understand what anyone is talking about here. She's like, okay, so the problem is that you only have one dog and Dina's like, yes.

And Amber's like, but you usually, no offense, only have one dog and Dinaas like yeah but not a yellow lab Queenie has given her just like a dog that needs to be shampooed Okay that's really funny actually that is that's actually really funny I am sorry but That is the perfect burn I'm so proud of Queenie for the level of snow that went into that. That's a foresight.

That is her years of experience of dealing with divas at work right there. Nothing that could really be like harmful or anything just enough to let her know that you're not as good as that. Amber is like, okay, okay, thank you. I will text Queenie whatever. She texts Queenie. She's like, Queenie, I see what you did here. Can you please give Dina one more dog. Please. And Queenie I refuse to split my earnings with that thief. Oh, oh, face crack. Wow, she's still all in on that. Uh-huh.

Et, wow. Okay, sure. We're doing it. Amber's like, okay, uh, the problem here is that you still don't have any proof. If you had proof, that would be different. I really need to go back to bed. Please just fucking give Dina one more dog. And Queenie's like, okay.

Things do not get better after this. Queenie keeps trying to split the work the same way. Dina keeps only doing one dog per day. Amber has to do more and more dogs every day because Diana is so slow. The only person having a good time is Savannah because she just comes in with her headphones and does her 15 dogs and leaves. Bless her. Bless her. You're getting the same rate, same base rate as the others, you know what? Great. And you know, that does occur to be like part of why Diana's so mad about this

because not only is she being artistically stifled but the the basic dogs their owners are not tipping like the fancy dogs. They're like oh you did a shampoo? Great here's an extra $30 which sounds like a lot to like to normal people. Yes, but she's I'm sure you used to getting like, Oh, you made my dog look like a Mufasa from the Lion King falling to his death specifically. $300. Yeah. Great. Here. Have five grand, like, or whatever. You know, just ridiculous things like that.

So yeah. Wow. Because of this dynamic, Dina and Queenie start to like throw little bombs across the salon. Like, Dina opens a box using Queenie's like specialty hair cutting scissors. Oh, wow. Oh. And then when Queenie starts just like using

the loudest blow dryer they have, every time Dynas trying to take a video. This is beautiful. Dyna posts a pic on her Instagram and in the background, Queenie is like in the middle of Edica Sandwich. Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! It's so petty. It's so beautifully petty. Oh wow. It's so petty. Quidi, who was like always on time, starts getting there early so that she can like place dibs on dogs before Dina shows up. Yes.

And Dina like winds to Amber about this and Amber is like, she's here early, like, I don't know what to tell you. This is going on for weeks and weeks and weeks. Like the vibes are just getting worse. Yes. Let's check in how, how are you doing? How do you feel? As an observer, I'm loving this. Like, I can only imagine bringing in my dog for their, like, you know, monthly shampoo or whatever and being like and observing this going on, being like, what is going on? I think I'm gonna take lunch because I just want to watch this for the rest of the day. As a staffer, I mean Savannah's had the right to do the whole time, shout out to Savannah,

but if I'm Amber, I'm losing my mind. Absolutely, just like, cause how do you, how do you stop this wolf? How do you end the fighting? I don't know, I just don't know. She is miserable. This is going on for weeks. One day she's working the front desk

and she gets a phone call. And on the phone call is a very important and fancy woman. And the fancy woman is like, I am in a bind. I'm sure that money can help you go up. Exactly. And she's like, I have two dogs. They both need to be groomed and styled. And their normal stylist is sick.

The woman on the phone is like, my special beautiful dogs. It will take them each like all day to be styled, and it has to happen tomorrow because they're going to the regional dog show competition. Oh. Then she is like, both of my dogs were sired by a previous American Kennel Club finalist named Shinin Blanc and they are very fancy. I mean finalist. I'm kidding I'm kidding it's a very fancy. This woman is like can you please groom my two dogs at Houndstooth tomorrow?

It needs to be very precise. It will take all day, but my dogs are on the rise. This is their big break. They need to match. Wait, you're entering both dogs of the same breed into the same show. There could be the against each other.

That feels like a bad strategy personally. Like, I guess maybe you're maximizing the odds of your dogs trying to reach the finals of whatever, but if they look exactly alike, they spend your money fancy, women spend the way. Amber is like, thank you so much for calling House Youth. We've had love to help you with this problem. What kind of dogs are they? And the woman is like, oh, they're B-Shan Freises. Yes, of course they are. Of course they are. B-Shan Freises is just like the fanciest of little dogs.

Like if you want fancier than a toy poodle, you go for the B-Shan Freises. Like, they, even the name, feels like you're ordering at a French restaurant. It sounds like a salad. Like with a goat cheese ball, right? Like... Picture a cotton. Now make it a dog.

That's a bea-john freezer. That's the head is pure dandelion fluff round. The shape is round. You stuck like a little like a cotton ball with little cute tip on the body. That's that is a B-shop free say. Obviously, this is a hard dog to groom. Because the word you kept using is round, right?

Which means that like that dome of hair needs to be symmetrical. You are working in three dimensions at all times. Yes. So the clear choice of who you would give this dog to to groom is Dina. Correct. But there are two dogs. Also correct.

And Dina famously works extremely slowly. Yep. So do you think that she can do two in one day? Like what do you do here? Okay, I just want to say that this has full-on after-school special vibes now. Like this is the moment, or for the nerds out there, the neon Genesis Evangelion moment, where the two competitors have to work in sync, side by side, perfectly symmetrical. Otherwise, everyone is doomed. Like, this is the high school sports movie moment where teamwork is key. Do I think Dina can do it in one day? Probably not.

Like, that might be a risk you have to take, but in theory, this is a moment where Queenie, Dina, put aside their differences, work together for the good of Hounds Tooth and make these dumb dogs exactly alike. Yes. Amber tells the fancy woman on the phone. She's like, absolutely we can do this. And the woman's like, great, I'll drop them off at open,

I need them back by 5 p.m. Amber's like, no problem. She goes to Queenie and Dina and she's like, can I talk to you? And they're like, mm-hmm. And Amber's like, listen, I've cleared both of your schedules tomorrow. I know that you are in a feud. I have gotten you a bonding activity. Yes! She says the name of the owner. She says, Shin and Blank, the dog's dad. says the name of the owner. She says, shinin' blonk the dog's dad.

And both Queenie and Dynas jaws drop. And they're like, which one of us gets to do the dog? Amber's like, no, no, no. There are two dogs. You will each do a dog and they will match. And Queenie and Dina are both thrilled. Amber's like, I'm the best manager of all time. I'm a genius.

Oh no. Oh no. You can't just do that and then walk away. Like, yeah, they're thrilled. But Amber, sit down with them, make a game plan. Like, okay, what's the mission brief? Like, how old are they? How long is their hair coming in?

What's the achieved goals? I need old are they? How long is their hair coming in? What's the achieved goals? I need to see sketches rough drafts of like, how you're planning on doing this before I leave you alone. You're drawing like a football coach schema on the board. Like, we're gonna run this play. Yes. Right, we're starting at the tail. Yeah.

The tail needs to be like 14 millimeters long at the end. Moving up to creating a up to the head. She's drawing. Right, like the head needs to be a perfect hundred age degree art, if not mission failure. Yes. Amber arrives at the store at 15 minutes before it's supposed to open.

Queenie and Dina are both there. And she's like, well, well, well. And they look happy. They're chatting. They open the store. And Escalade pulls up. The woman gets out of the Escalade with her two dogs. She's like, I know they look bad.

I had to let their hair grow to be as long as possible for the show. And that's why I needed you to block the whole day because like they don't look fancy right now. This is not a picture of these dogs but it is the right vibe. Oh buddy. So the picture I'm looking at, that dog's name is Scruff and they're a very good pup. You know they are not a show dog. They are just like, Scruffs has been like your family friend's dog for like most of your life, it feels like

you just love to give them a hug every now and again. They can be a little testy as they're getting older, but you know what, they're a very good patient dog. That is not a show dog, that is just, that's good old school. This is a dog that's like a regular at a bar, right? Like, he's not fancy. And she's like, these are my dogs.

The stylists are like, okay, thank you so much. The woman drops her dogs off and they leave. And Amber's like, this is so great. We're all gonna work together. We're gonna make a plan. We're gonna make these two dogs like full glow up, they're gonna look incredible. And the stylists are like, this is a good old

fashion style off. And absolutely, it hit me like right before you said it that oh no, these two are absolutely going to be like, which dog looks better, not do these dogs look exactly alike. Yes, Amber is like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is not a style off. Queenie and Dina are like, it's a style off. Oh.

First, the dogs must be bathed. They take them into a little baby group. They wet them all down. They like to massage the dogs with their shampoo. Queenie adds the special conditioner. Dinos using her celebrity dog products. They both do the shampoo like very gently, they're like massaging the dogs between their eyes, to like make sure that they are very clean. The dogs are just sitting there, they look bored.

Yeah, the dogs, they're used to this. They're very well-made. It's like, it's like rich kids not being used to like the fact that they're used to this. They're very well-baked. It's like, it's like, it's like rich kids not being used to like the fact that they're going through something that normal people get to do. The dogs are just sitting there. Dina decides to wash her dog again. Oh.

And Queenie is like, oh, is that how you're using so much of my product? And Amber is like, stop it. Queenie, double conditions her dog. They both apply like heat protectant, and then they dry the dogs to the towel, and they blow dry them. And Dina is like yelling across the dogs alone. She's like, you hold the blow dryer too close.

Like if you back it up, it'll work better for this. And Queenie just turns the music up They have to brush the dogs while they blow dry so this is like a very long process everyone's getting like an elbow repetitive use injury, right? Like it is hard Yeah, then they have to use like a tiny razor to shape in between the dogs little paws So you can see the paws and then they have to use like a tiny razor to shape in between the dogs little paws, so you can see the paws. And then they have to trim their nails. Next, they have to trim the body of the dogs. V-shans are all about shape.

I have watched a lot of videos on how to groom a V-shan for competition. And the best way I can describe it is that it's like trying to trim a hedge right it's like about shape so they're like stiff, stiff, stiff, stiff, the tiniest pieces of hair are falling to the ground. Dine and Queen are backing up 10 paces. They're looking at the dogs. They're coming back. They're smoothing again. They haircut is supposed to be like close to the body in the torso and then fluffier in the legs. The whole time they're sipping, they're also spiping at each other. They're like, your dog's hair is too long on his stomach, they're not gonna match.

They're like, your dog's nails are too long, they're not gonna match. By 3 p.m., they have been working all day. They are done with the bodies and they are moving on to the big fluffy heads. Dynastog is like slightly answer than Queenie's dog, and keeps turning to like look across the salon, and Dynastog is like, can you to Amber? Like, can you make Queenie and her dog move? She's distracting my dog. I mean, have these dogs been fed and walked in this time or have they been just on the table on the slab?

Amber is like, no I will not move her dog. Like find out what your dog needs and figure it out. Queenie and Dina are both using the finest tooth combs you could find to pull these dogs hair out, out, out, out, out. Right, and then the tiniest steps. Yes, their heads are like beach balls, right? Like they're like the biggest round dog heads in the whole world. They're using a razor to get like the eye crusties out,

to make like their eye holes look like little like port holes to hell, right? Like they're holding the dogs nose, like it's a drawer handle. While they're like scissors snip, it's insane. Meanwhile, Savannah has styled like 22, while they're like scissors snip. It's insane. Meanwhile, Savannah has styled like 22 dogs today to pick up the flag. Yeah, she's just walking back and forth with big dogs this whole time,

cleaning them up and setting them back out. The woman is coming back at five. Amber is becoming stressed because Diana keeps stopping to take videos. Ah, Diana! Bye! Her dog is looking really round and fluffy. Queenie, who has been going slower all day because she is clearly less used to this, is also has her dog looking very round and fluffy.

At 4.45, Amber is like, Queenie, and Queenie looks over her. And she's like, there's a little hair that's like, way too long in the back of your darks head. Like, can you please get that? And Queenie's like, oh my God, yeah, good eye. And she darts over to get her like scissors out of the sink.

And as she darts, she bumps into Dina. Oh, no. Who has the scissors in her hand? Oh, no. Shops, a little chunk. No! I've had the bottom. Oh, the gills of the gills.

Oh, the gills of the gills. Oh, the gills of the gills. The gills of the gills. The gills of the gills. No! Kelsey, no. To be clear, the dog is five. Oh, yeah.

No. It is the seer shape that is no longer five. Uh-huh. Absolutely. Yeah, I get that. I get that they have they failed their mission now. Unless you take a chunk out of the other talks head to be like clearly that's the style, right? Yeah, what are you gonna do here? You have a chunk missing.

I mean, I'm assuming that glue is not enough. Oh, you know what? I got it. I have this solution. Wait on me. Dog extension. I love this plan and I don't think it would be a bad idea if they were not running out of time. Yeah.

Queenie is so apologetic, right? Like she did not mean to bump Dina at all. And Dina is so angry Like she's coming and like this cannot be fixed and she's like Amber What do I do and Amber is like you're gonna have to make the whole sphere smaller Like to make it look even Yeah, that's the only real solution and then you have to do the exact same length on the other one. And that, well that's Dynas Point. Dynas Lake, well this isn't fair. If my dog has to have a smaller head, Queenie's dog has to have a smaller head too. But then the question is, do you

use this woman who specifically grew her dog's hair out? Do you think it's more important to her for them to match? Or for the circle to be as big as possible? That's the question, do sure. Or for the circle to be as big as possible. That's the question, do you? I mean, I'm not familiar with AKC standards. I don't know if it's like a specific length for the shape of the beach on freeze-ahead to be The sensible thing to do would be to call her and be like, hey, I know you're on your way. I just wanted to ask Which is more important to you, size of roundness or exact matchiness because we are so close to being finished but we just wanna be sure that we know your preferences.

I love that, that's not what's gonna happen here. No, it isn't. Amber is like, she's like, we're just gonna leave one of them bigger and the two of you are gonna have to work together to make this dog's head a perfect circle in the time before this woman gets here. No one is happy about this. They are like both grumbling.

Dina is so angry, there's like steam coming out of her ears, like they're furious, but they give this dog's head made a smaller circle, and they're like, fine, it's done. They have like five minutes left. Dina is so pissed. She's like, you did this on purpose to Queenie. And then she merges into the back room. All the dogs are barking. The music is so high.

And she unscrews the lids on Queenie's shampoo's and conditioners and dumps them down the drains. No. Oh. on Queenie's shampoo's and conditioners and dumps it down the drains. Oh wow, that escalated quickly. Queenie goes strutting back there. She begins dumping Dynast celebrity dog products down the drain. That's less effective. She has a sponsorship.

She's going to get more of that for free, Queenie. That is less effective. Do you intervene? And put your body between the product wars. Yes, you intervene, but only for the sake with the client is almost there. And this is not how we behave at Hounds Tooth. Amber is watching. She's panicking. They are both yelling. A lot of dogs are barking because people are yelling.

Queenie is like accusing Dyna of cheating at dog grooming. Dyna is accusing Queenie of like being low class. They're getting like closer and closer together. And Amber is like, oh my God, are these grown women gonna fist fight? Like that is deranged. As this is happening, Savannah, headphones in, comes in with her little like golden retriever, puts it in the bath, they're yelling at each other.

Savannah turns the water on. She turns her out, she takes her headphone out. She's like, um, hey, sorry to interrupt, where's the shampoo? And they're all like, what? What? You don't have your own Savannah? You don't have your own shampoo. You think there's a communal shampoo?

Savannah after all these weeks? They're like, what do you mean? And Savannah's like, oh, there's no shampoo here. Like how am I supposed to wash the dog? And Amber's like, what shampoo have you been using? And then Savannah is like, oh, you know, whichever one's usually in here. And she picks up Queenie's bottle off the floor. I wish I had said something.

I had been wondering whether little quiet Savannah has been the culprit this whole time. But I'm like, you know, we're just gonna let that lie. You know what? Because Savannah is over there, minding her own business. And you know what? Let her do her thing.

Amber is like, oh my god, this is great news. This whole feud was a big misunderstanding. She's like, Queenie and Dina, isn't this so funny? It was Savannah. Savannah has moved on. like Miss Under Sandy. She's like, Queenie and Dina isn't this so funny? It was Savannah. Savannah has moved on. She has her headphones in. She's shampooing the dog.

She's oblivious. Amber is like the two of you can chill out now. Like your feud was based on nothing. And Dina's like, what are you talking about? And Amber is like a Queenie thought that you were stealing her conditioner. And Dynas like, why would I steal her cheap conditioner? And Queenie is like, you're a bitch.

And now they are like, really fighting. Oh no. So, I just a backtrack, it appears that Queenie has never actually told Dina what the issue is. Just let this build up until it became this absolute toxic cesspool that has become. Wow, wow, wow, going back to the beginning, turns out Amber had a great idea by talking and speaking up instead of letting things sit. The fancy lady will be here in an evening. Your two dog rumours are screaming at each other.

How do you get them to stop? Grab a squeaky toy, squeaky squeaky? Close. And Amber grabs the nozzle and sprays water at their feet. Yes! They both shriek. And she's like, listen to me. You have to stop. Like the fancy lady is going to be here at any minute.

And when she gets here, we need an explanation for why one of these dogs has a smaller head than the other. Queenie and Diner are like, what are you going to tell her? And Queenie is like, Diner did this. Diner's dog is the one with the smaller head. And Diner's like, you literally hit me. And Queenie is like, but my dog looks perfect. Both excellent points, however, not the fancy lady's problem. Yes.

And Amber also knows that the fancy lady, all fancy rich ladies, want there to be a consequence for any problem that they face. So she's like, I'm gonna have to blame someone. Probably, I'm gonna have to tell this woman that someone's head rolled for this. So she's like, Queenie fucked up Dynastog, but it was an accident. But if I get rid of Queenie, Dynastog only does like one dog a day. But if I get rid of Dynastog, I lose like the prestige of the shop. Right. What do you think?

I think that you take firing off the table like Heads will roll like I get that in theory like fancy lady understands money Mm-hmm. You might be able to appease her by offering like we're only going to charge you for the perfect dog which huge below and then you have to determine though who gets what tip and what payout from that day. And honestly, the best solution might just be, you know what, in honor of both of you keeping your jobs after being so unprofessional, Amber keeps them money, sends them home, they come back, start fresh the next day, and that is the solution I propose. Yes.

Amber is like both of you go home. Like I don't want you here when this fancy lady arrives and I will take care of it. The fancy lady shows up. Amber's like, here are your dogs, aren't they? So beautiful. And the fancy lady is like, they are beautiful, but isn't that one a little bit smaller? Hmm, and Amber is like is it?

Roll for bluff Amber roll for bluff and the woman's like I want the littler one for free There you go. Yeah, and Amber's like okay There you go. And Amber's like, okay, the littler one is now free. And the woman's like, okay, thank you. But then she does that thing where she's like, can I speak to the manager? I am the manager. And Amber's like, I am the manager.

And then this woman lays into her. And she's like, what are you gonna do about this? Like this place is poorly run. Dada-dada-dada. And Amber is like, I'm so sorry, we'll do better next time. This woman leaves and then Amber calls the owner. And she's like, I quit. Yes!

Yes! Take the money and run, Amber. She's like, goodbye. And she quits the houndstooth salon forever. We are at the end. How do you feel whose side are you on? Let's debrief. I am clearly still on Amber's side. Amber has done nothing wrong in this entire story.

Bless her for doing her best under difficult circumstances. And also, surprisingly, I am still on Savannah side. Wow. Like, I know, like, she's just there doing her job, putting in her hours. The fact that no one told her that you have to bring in your own product to use on these dogs is clearly someone's fault. Yes. Do you want my final updates?

Of course I do. Okay. My final updates are Amber did move on. She like got a new job. She's doing fine. Great. Queenie? Like a couple days after this incident, remembered very vaguely that the first week that Savannah

started. She was like, of course you can use my products. No problem. Oh. Oh. Oh. Wow, that's 65 year old memory really came back to bite her in the end.

Within the next two weeks, Queenie, Dinah, and Savannah, all quit. The Hound's tooth is toothless. The Hound's tooth is toothless. The Hound's tooth closed. Wow. Because there were no employees left and no prestige. Zero prestige. Oh wow, the owner is out so much dog money.

Yes. And it's a shame that the Hound's tooth Solan doesn't exist anymore because the fancy lady's dog won Big head or small head One on a free hair My heart is racing right now. I am...

Wow! Wow! Every dog has its day in a matter of the size of its fluffy hand. Wow! Hey, thank you so much for coming on the show. It was a delight to have you. Kelsey, the pleasure was all mine. I am so happy right now for everyone involved. Thank you for listening to Normal Gossip.

If you have a gossip story to share with us, email us at normalgossipatifector.com or you can leave us a voicemail at 2679 gossip. If you love this podcast, want us to keep making it, become a friend or a friend of a friend at supportnormalgossip.com. You can follow the show on Instagram and TikTok at NormalGossip. You can follow Kelsey on all social media at At McKinney Kelsey. This podcast was produced by Alex Sujong Laughlin. Justin Ellis is defectors projects editor. Jasper Wang and Sean Poon are defectors business guys. Tom Leigh is our editor in chief. J. Toviera is our associate producer.

Abigail Siegel is our intern. Dan McQuade runs our merch store which you can find at normalgossip.store. Tarr at Jakobie Designed our show art. Thanks to the rest of the defector staff. Defector Media is a collectively owned subscriber-based media company. Normal Gossip is a proud member of Radio Topia. Normal Gossip is hosted by Kelsey McKinney. I'm Emma and remember you did not hear this from me. Radio Tapio. From PRX. Radio til P.R.X.