Not Another D&D Podcast - Adventure Book Theatre: Night of Champions (WWE Pick Your Path #2)

Episode Date: November 10, 2023

Merry Champion's Night, Superstars! To celebrate this blessed day, the LoreLords RETURN to the ring for another Pro Wrestling "Pick Your Path" adventure, featuring a once-in-his-lifetime appearance by rookie podcasting phenomenon, Jagg Hurwitz!Buy tickets to upcoming NaddPod Live Shows Here!---CREDITS:Sound Mixing and Editing by Trevor Lyon8-Bit Book Club Theme by Emily AxfordSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey there folks, this episode is brought to you by 10 Speed Press, publisher of Heroes Feast, Flavors of the Multiverse. From the Dungeons & Dragons experts behind the best-selling Heroes Feast, Gums Heroes Feast, Flavors of the Multiverse, a mouthwatering cookbook with more than 75 delectable new recipes for solo adventurers and party quests alike. This culinary tour presents original recipes inspired by regions and settings from across the forgotten realms and beyond. All 76 dishes are developed by a professional chef

from one of the country's top test kitchens. They're delicious, they're easy to prepare, and they're composed of ingredients readily found in our world folks. Dishes are organized by location with options for every occasion, especially game nights, and including otherworldly appetizers like Talith are organized by location with options for every occasion, especially game nights, and including otherworldly appetizers like Talith and Golden Stars, savory main courses like

Steak of the Deep, Plus, Alcoholic and Non-Alcoholic Beverage and Desserts, so never adventure on an empty stomach, grab your copy of Heroes Feast, Flavors of the Multiverseiverse 2-day. Welcome to Ape a book club everybody Hot cast about that book. Welcome to Ape at Book Club, everybody. Yeah! Oh, darn! Wow, yes, wrestling. Welcome everyone, Ape at Book Club. I put up, man, you're cutting the pro over now. Yeah, sorry, I forgot.

I also forgot that we say welcome to Ape at Book Club. It's dumb dumb. It makes you dumber. Yeah, dumb dumb. Yeah, it's dumb dumb. We are your lore, lords booklob makes you dumber. Yeah, dumb dumb. We are your lore lords, Brian Murphy, Emily Axford, and Cold Wolf Tanner and James. What is everyone else picture when we say lore lords?

Lore lords? Because I definitely picture like esoteric, cold and rose. Oh, yeah, I think it was. Like almost like ones that stand outside of time and pull the puppet strings of faith. I actually, yeah. I actually like the watcher from Marvel Comics,

our heads are really massive. Yeah, yeah, I'm picturing completely big, but huge, huge, huge, huge heads that the brains are so big that you see the formation of the brain pushing through the flesh. Oh yeah, you can see the brains for sure. It were big to shit, the whole sating of the brain. We're so big, and we're wearing a katsuki rope from Naruto.

And we're just in a cave. Yeah, a cave that is in outer space. Yes, we are. Oh yeah, we're on a moon. We're on a moon. And then of course, probably not getting out of these references because hasn't been on any episodes I'll pick my head. I'll shave my head right now. I'm down to pick. That's cool. We wouldn't want to do that. Jake

I couldn't help but notice how normal sized your head is man It's actually a huge compliment because it's a little smaller than average Really I'm a huge head. We talked about this before. I can't wear a regular baseball cap. I think they don't have as big a head as you think you do, because I think that your parents... Because my friends razz me so hard. No, your parents always talk about it. They everyone razz me.

They talk about you putting you to sit as a baby and you just falling over your head. I had a huge head as a baby. But I think that you've carried that. You've carried that. I had a huge head. Oh man, as a baby. But I think that you've carried that. You've carried that. I've definitely carried that. But I also, I mean, and I, when I look at you, I don't think,

man, that's a big head. Right, because I carry it well. That's true. You've done the work. I've done the work. Major body bigger, you've lifted weights to like make your shoulders appear bigger as well He's gotten absolutely yolks

Delta now support the head mervis been doing adult tummy time So you can lift up his head back. Yeah, yeah, if you look at when I had long hair a couple of years ago You could really tell how big my head is really but that's not hair shouldn't be about head size It should be about hair texture. No, but you really like to measure your dome. We can measure it, we can measure it. I think that's what we need. This conversation actually has a conclusion and that's us getting.

Just getting the calpers out. Getting one of those sewing, measuring tapes and we're sharing each other's heads. Is it circumference? Is it like height? What is the big part? I think it's big across the board. Yeah, it's just a big forehead specifically.

It's wide and long. Yeah, it's wide and long. Yeah, if I had to wear a trim cap. Oh, and you're kind of narrow. Yeah. So maybe you're saying it's the more the depth. It might be the depth. It might be looking at me head on and being like,

well, that's not so bad. Right. But you got to understand it's also a thick head. It's just even profile. You got a seat understand it's also a thick head. You got to see it in profile. You got to see both. Maybe I'm looking head on too much and I haven't been looking from the side. There you go. Now, somebody that's rocking absolutely awesome long hair is triple H on the cover of this

night of champions. Pick your path number two. Night of champions, is that Christmas themed? Is that what they W-W-E Christmas? Night of champions? What would it be. Night of champions, is that Christmas themed? Is that what they W-E Christmas? Night of champions? What if you're a night of champion? They bring out a giant advent calendar and there's a restaurant inside each square.

Hey everybody, the greatest champion of all, Jesus Christ. Ooh. Well I meant like isn't there in the universe of the WWE to be honest, they don't have Christmas, but instead they have... They don't have Christmas. They play, they play. It's just human beings on Earth.

So Christmas does exist in the WWE universe. Okay, okay, so this is in fantasy, like, candlemiss or something like that. You guys never read a very stone-cold Christmas with Vos and little men that to then just wants to see what Christmas is like. Celebrate it. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I guess there is WWE lore

because the Undertaker is magic. Yeah, and Hane, his brother is also magic, can light things on fire with his hands by just like raising his fist. Yeah, and have they ever celebrated Christmas? I've they ever? Yes, of course. Yeah, raising his fist. Sure. And have they ever celebrated Christmas? Definitely. Yes, of course. Have they ever?

Yeah. Yeah. So definitely. There's Christmas. Because Nito Champions sounds like a nice solemn night where all the champions get together and exchange tickets. Exactly. But the night before Nito Champions.

I think it's more like all of the championship built around the line that night. I think I wasn't watching Christmas ornaments on a tree. Yeah, that's exactly right. Yeah, that's exactly right. You're all fucking, you imagine a giant tree in the middle of the ring and they got a climate to get the belts off. That's actually fucking cool. Yeah, that actually is awesome.

A flatter match, but you're trying to get like the star off the top of the tree. That's fucking cool. Yeah. Okay, anyway, we simply have to start reading this book. Sure. I'm going in with my preconceived notion because I have not received enough Yeah, okay, I'm watching this is based on the fact that the book is green and there's like little snowflakes on the front I'm gonna tell you what I can't even see the cover wow Okay, so I just heard night of champions and I was like classic. They came up with their own holiday season of that

So let's all get in the Christmas spirit. Yeah, the champion spirit. Since Triple H is in the Christmas spirit, let's get in the Christmas spirit. All right, ready, set, Triple H is ho ho ho, go on. Cody Rhodes has the advantage in this match. He's got the wrench by the neck

and is climbing up to the second rope. Looks like he's going for a bulldog, needlessly adding fake wrestlers and really low effort, the wrench. The wrench does not exist in the universe. I'm sure if I went to cagematch.com or one of these websites that logs all professional wrestlers,

there's gotta be someone named the wrench. This the wrench though is not real. Are you sure it's not the wrench isn't like a fallen champion of your Perhaps what if his name was Alan and it was Alan wrench. Oh Alan wrench would be a good character. That is good. Yeah It's really just glossing over it. Yeah Anyway, the crowd roars as you struggle to get out of Cody's grasp the dashing one another fake wrestler Oh wait, no, no, the dashing one is Cody Rhodes at this time. Okay, okay We're going to Cody Rhodes is like back and he's got this big push and everything so the

Dashing one is string that's kind of cool dashing like Dasher one of these Dashing oh my god. Yes. That's really one horse open Oh, yes. That's really one horse open ring. Horse sentences in. Okay, over the ropes we go. The dashing one knocked you into the ring post a few seconds ago and got the upper hand while you were dazed,

but you're thinking clearly now, Cody leaps off the rope and tries to slam you face down into the ring, but you turn the tables on him and flip him over your shoulders. Bam, Cody hits the mat hard, and now you're in control of the match. You straddle Cody grabbing his left leg by the ankle, then you spin around, twisting his legs like a pretzel. Maybe going for a little sharp shooter action.

Okay. Cody strange to get out of the leg lock, but they don't call you the wrench for nothing. So we're the wrench. You're the wrench. Okay, so we are Ellen wrench, sorry. Gui the monkey wrench? We're, I think we're what about Johnny Johnny French Lee wrench. Oh Johnny French Johnny

I meant to say freshly wrench but French Lee French argument is that we have like a tool belt but also we're friends but also Really good the tool belt has like croissants in it. Yeah. Oh shit. Okay when he can't stand the pain any longer He taps out and you hear the bell ring throughout the arena. And the winner of this match by submission is the French Lee Ranch. Wow. A few people.

We, we. A few people. We're in for new. A few people in the 14,000 strong crowd start to clap. But most of them boo, it's not because you're a bad guy. Lately, your fans have been turning against you. What? A chance starts to rise in the stands. Where's the title? Where's the title? Oh shit

You come mad at us for not having to tell I don't know they want a Christmas present I think it's actually supposed to be where is the title? Where is the title? Where is the title? Glad titles to you. Glad titles to you. Okay. This is forced. You pump your fists and victory over your head, but the crowd doesn't care. You may have won the match,

but you've never won a WWE Championship. It's never bothered you much before. You've been wrestling since you can remember in West State Champion in high school. This actually makes sense because we are 37, so we're kind of looking back on our life right now. Right, yeah. We're a real journey, men rest.

Our life is coming to an end. We're the twilight of our career. Yeah, we're starting to wonder where is that title that I thought was going to come. Yeah, I've been twisting this wrench forever, but nothing's ever gotten tighter for me. You joined WWE five years ago as a 34 year old and Mr. McMahon Oh, wait, did I say we're 39 about our age? How old are we? 37 39 we're 37. Okay, so 32 we joined Mr. McFan has been impressed with your dedication your technical skills and your punishing hold

But you've never managed to win a championship match a few months ago Michael Cole started bringing it up every time You enter the ring. He'd say stuff like, here comes Johnny for French Lee Renge. Sometimes a loser, sometimes a winner, never a champion. Sounds like we're a team player, and I don't know what's so wrong about that. Wow. Can I ask one question?

What do you guys think that we were doing before? Because obviously we joined at 32. As Johnny freshly hatched. What was our life before? What was the quarter life crisis that got us into? We were a manager at a Sabarro's. Oh, okay. And then we got into a fight.

Yeah. And somebody was like, you should wrestle. Oh, so we got into a really public fight that got video tapes by everyone. We lost our job because of it But then got recruited. Yes, you put our franchise owner in a hospital Yeah, so we got into fight lost our job. We went to France to kind of Yeah, and then in France everyone was like, oh, you're American. What are you a wrestler? And then we're like, you know what? All these Americans are wrestlers.

They are two guys of American, dirty Americans and pro wrestlers. I'm a wrestler. Yeah, we were at the subarrow at the mall and somebody tried to refill their Wendy's cup at our subarrow. Oh my God. And we got so confrontational.

I don't know why we took it so personally. We weren't a manager or anything. What move do we use on them? The sharpshooter. Of course. We wrenched it. We wrenched them. We wrenched them.

So this is interesting. So we are going into this with sort of the memory of the scent of the Is of the Eiffel Tower. I was too borrow. Yes, we're coming back with a beret and a pizza. That's so, it's all in my clothes. It's all in my killers of cuisine. Okay, but then it got worse.

You started calling you the bridesmaid after that old saying always a bridesmaid never a bride. The fans loved it. Actually, that'd be a really, really fun pro wrestling character. The bridesmaid. Oh yeah. Yeah.

And then, oh, you throw your bouquet. No, I guess you catch the bouquet. It's so good that I'm actually thinking of us. It has a brick in it. Oh, that's really good. So far, you've been keeping your cool and ignoring him. You didn't get this far in your career by letting what other people say get to you.

Then something was flying into the ring. Puzzle, you glance down. It looks like a piece of yellow fabric. Then it hits you. It's a dress. A bridesmaid dress. No! Okay, we get onto the ropes.

We look like we're gonna throw the bouquet, but actually we jump backwards with an elbow drop. It's really good. On to the dress. Into the dress. And then we put on the dress. Into the dress. And then we put on the dress. Into the dress. And then we're Johnny Freshly dressed. Oh, this week.

Yeah, okay. So we prop up the dress. We're so fast, we throw up the dress before it can fall. We do a moonsault hop and put the fucking dress on. And we're Johnny Freshly dressed now. Or if it's French fabric, we could be Johnny Frenzley Dress. Friendly Dress.

Friendly Dress. Friendly Dress. My lightest cigarette off of our ass and smoke the whole thing. The whole dress. We eat whatever's left. Here's something to wear in your next match. Bridesmaid, Cole Tauntz.

Michael Cole is just like a ring announcer. He's like a commentator. But I guess you're some bad guys this time. We've embraced their taunts and turned it into an incredible game. Turn it around, yeah. This has been an incredible journey, such a gimmick. That's all you can take.

You jump out of the ring and storm over the announcer's table. Wham, you lift up the table and flip it over. Michael Cole stumbles backward, and the grin has left his face. You're about to lift him up by the neck, but you stop yourself. Please, sir. Pounding a coward like Michael Cole won't prove anything. You know what you need to do.

You pick a mic off the floor. Listen to me everybody and listen good, you shout. Ever since I saw- We're giving a bridesmaid toast. We're giving a bridesmaid toast. I pull out a piece of paper. Christina is so crazy and I'm so proud to know her. I just love that Michael is able to see Pastor Manyflaws.

Ever since I signed with WWE five years ago as somebody in the early 30s, I have proven myself worthy of being a superstar. I give it all, my all every time I enter the ring. Some members of the crowd cheer for you. They just love that you give it your all. But some people think that I need to win a championship. To prove myself you go on, and it's about time those people shut up.

Oh my God. Yeah, we're gonna make this wedding about us. I like our energy, yeah. Everyone at the wedding looks nervous. Yeah. Let me tell you a little something about Samantha before she met Michael. Yeah.

Yeah. I promise you right here, right now, that I will walk away with the title at the upcoming WWE Night of Champions. The crowd goes wild near feeling pumped. You throw it on the microphone and exit the arena with your arms raised in victory. Backstage is super stars and crew

are all talking about your announcement. You walk past Edge who gives you a nod. It's about time, kid. He says, others aren't so nice. Alberto Del Rio bursts out laughing when he sees you. I'll make you a bet, Ren. She says, after you lose at WWE Night of Champions, you have to wear that yellow dress.

And we'll say, show, you were already wearing it. That's right. I have a question. Do you guys think that before Samantha and Michael were ever at the end? Do you think that there's anything in our history with us at Michael? I think it's all going to come out at the night of champion. Yeah, it's all going to come out at the night of champs. Yeah, it's all gonna come out of the night of champions.

Samantha is the WWE Champion right now. Okay, I'm not going to lose you say confidently, but inside you're hit with a blast of doubt. Now everybody's going to be watching you. If you don't win a championship with the big championship of the whole game, I'm not going to lose. Oh, I just ejaculated doubt.

I got knocked out by doubt. Yeah. If you don't win a champion at the Big Table of You event, you'll never hear the end of it. You try to sleep that night, but every time you close your eyes, you hear the crowd chanting.

It's because we're in our dress and it's really uncomfortable. Where's the title? Early next morning, you get a message on your phone asking you to fly to WWE headquarters. Is it from Michael? It's from Mr. McMahon.

Okay. Shit, it's a destination wedding. Michael got blasted without two. I know. It's so about Samantha. It's so interesting how the sick man is featured so heavily in these books. And also it's weird because it's like in this world, wrestling is not predetermined, but also there's still a ton of logistics.

Have we made a single choice in this book yet? Oh my God. We decided to release being a bride's maid. We've chosen several names. I forgot that this was, I absolutely forgot this was to choose your own adventure. Okay. Really any book can be a choose your own adventure. If you just let the words be a suggestion.

Yeah, that's right. Considering how many choices we have made. Okay. I'm always pasting new words in the books I read. All right, listen up. Okay, here's the deal. Mr. McMahon tells you from his seat behind his large desk. Okay.

I like you, kid. It's about time you stood up for yourself. So I have an opportunity for you. You lean forward curious. Our truth wants you to become his tag team partner. Mr. McMahon continues, you could compete for the world tag team championship, approve your move from Smackdown Raw. You think about it. Our truth has already been United States championship

winner. Why would he want to team with a superstar like you who's got something to prove? What if I stay on Smackdown? You ask then you could compete for a shot at one of the bigger championships. Mr. Meg, applies. But to be honest, kid, you might not want to aim so big on your first shot. I think you and our truth have a good chance of winning the tag team title. Okay, so we've got two eddings this weekend. I like to choose which one it goes to.

So we're choosing between Smackdown and Raw. I feel like the last books punished us for not playing conservatively with our career. It punched us for everything. Yeah. Right. It does feel like this, we need to listen to Vince McMahon, right? Because this is the man who's signing off these books. I thought that-

If it's a chance he's writing them himself. There is no way Vince McMahon knows anything about this book. But I don't think that they would want to dishonor Mr. McMahon in these books, in these paperbacks. Okay, so here's two things that I will say. Yeah. Raw is the flagship show. Raw is live where a Smackdown is taped.

So a staying on Smackdown is a staying on the B show a little bit. So I am kind of like, our truth is reaching out, our truth is cool. Do we want a tag team with our truth on the bigger show? My team is connections and stuff like that. Yeah, I think I need a reset. I think we go back to France. I think we yeah, I think we spend a weekend in Paris Yeah, just to get our thoughts straight. We're even the saying, you know, yeah, we're gonna go to Paris. We go to France, we get all that. We don't change our yellow bride dress. We haven't changed it. And we won.

And we won, of course. We don't pack a bag. We don't even have a toilet tree bag. We just go to Paris. We go through a car wash to clean the dress. We just run through it. So I actually, so I'm, yeah, I guess I am with you guys. I don't know why I was, I think I was confused.

I thought staying on SmackDown was the art truth thing, but art truth is on raw. So I'm down to listen to Vince McMahon. If you guys think, I wanna get a tag team right now. I wanna make a splash on raw. Okay, let's do it. All right, so we're gonna tag team.

Listen, we've all had this signature drink at the wedding and our emotions are getting a little raw. Yeah, and also like, what is a bridesmaid, but part of a collective, really? Exactly, we gotta get a good deal. Bridesmaid is not like a singular thing. We're not a maid of honor. That's Jessica.

Yeah. And maybe Jessica and Samantha only met in college, but they really had a connection apparently, even though known her forever. Yeah, we went to camp, that's deeper. That's deeper. That's deeper because you're away from your parents for the first time.

You are honestly raw. So I would say we have such a rock connection with Samantha that maybe she was intimidated and chose Jessica at, you know, out of fear. Just like Samantha and I, we got hand jobs in the CIT happen. Yeah. We also met Michael at camp. Yeah, go on.

Yeah, okay. I think all team with our truth, you tell Mr. McMahon a smiles pleased. Our truth has a good record as a tag team partner Teaming with him might be your best chance for a title Excellent Mr. McMahon says on Saturday. We're doing a special event for soldiers and their families I want both of you there to announce the new tag team. Thanks Mr. McMahon. You say I won't let you down It turns out the event is going to be a big outdoor barbecue in Texas with bands playing in appearances by WWE superstars.

Can I just say that's a really weird holiday event? Mm-hmm. Yeah, a big outdoor barbecue? Yeah, actually, oh wait, no, because it could be nice because I was thinking, oh, it's cold out. Right. But it could actually be really fun to have a barbecue. Yeah, and they're grilling that big Christmas ham. Yeah.

Okay, go on. I absolutely retract my- Right, so we're going to the Christmas ham, which is. Yeah. Okay, go on. I absolutely retract my- Right, so we're going to the Christmas party. The blast of doubt. The blast of doubt. My back is covered in doubt in the blast. I gave my doubt. Okay, so you meet up with our truth.

You say, hey man, thanks for letting me team with you. You say shaking your hand to be honest. I'm not exactly sure why you asked me. I like your attitude. Our truth replies. We curtsy. In our yellow, right? Still wearing the dress, yeah. The other night you sounded like. I like your attitude. Art truth replies. We could see. In our yellow pride. Still wearing the dress, yeah. The other night you sounded like someone who wants to win.

I'm ready for another championship myself. I've got a good feeling about this. You nod. Me too, you say. Pretty soon the trailer is swarming with superstars as everyone gets ready for the event. The whole thing is going to be filmed for TV. So you're going to assign for you and our truth to make your announcement. You guys, the trailer and assistant, okay, we go. May I ask a question? Our truth. Yeah. When you're saying that, I'm picturing it

being like a subreddit title. How is it actually spelled? Our dash truth. Okay. I know his name in when he used to wrestle for impact, TNA wrestling, he used to be Ron the truth killings. Okay. So I believe this, ouruth is probably WWE made him have a name

that they could have the copyright to. Gotcha. A lot of times they make characters like slightly change their name. So that it stuck with WWE. Okay. So it's not like our truth, oh you are like a shared secret. It is our truth.

Oh, Ron. Well, we could easily let them in on a shared secret. It is our truth. Like Ron. Well, we could easily let them in on a secret. That's right, yeah. We'll feel out the tag team. Our truth comes out and says, we're teaming up to take the WWE Tag Team Championship title at WWE, nine of the champions. The applause is deafening.

We take the microphone from him and try to talk. The crowd is chanting our truthuce name over and over. Wow. Yes. Okay, so we're writing a good, overshadow. No, but honestly, as a bridesmaid, we're comfortable with that. Yeah.

Because we got overshadowed by Samantha and Jessica. Yeah, but honestly, are we okay with being overshadowed by Jessica? I mean, of course, it's Samantha's day, but are we okay with Jessica? You're right, you're right. You're right. Listen, our time will come on the dance floor.

It's fine. Okay, you okay, our truth asks, but you don't answer. Then it's Randy Orton's turn to talk to the crowd. And the Vipers got an announcement too. Mr. McMahon is making me put up my WWE Championship on the line at WWE Night of Champions. Orton says he thinks that there's a superstar out there worthy of stealing my title. I say, prove it.

Suddenly, you get a crazy idea. What if you ran up to the mic and challenge Randy Orton right here right now? That would be awesome. In front of all these families. So, that would be such bridesmaid behavior. After our speech, then Jessica starts talking. We realized we forgot to say something. So good.

We watched back over to the mic. We get to end it, we get to have line the speeches. Because Samantha gave us a pity speech. Yeah, she was like, do you wanna read a poem by the wedding? She's like, do you guys, do you guys, do you guys, do you guys? Yeah, let us read a poem. And we got to quote unquote, MC it. If we stick with our truth, go to page 10.

If we challenge Ordon, go to page 63. I mean, now that I've equated it to interrupting a made of honor speech and a wedding, I have to do that. Yeah, I think we need to. I think we need to. I think we need to. I think we need, we're spiraling. We're thinking about a look that we got during the camp reunion from Michael and it just

was like, he was leading with meaning. Before him and Samantha, even ever were a thing. But we were with someone at the time. So that moment passed, and then like what, like a year later, he gets together with Samantha. It's crazy. And we break up with our toxic ex. We should say, we should say something to Michael at the wedding.

We should. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I think we should maybe. Okay, you turn to our truth. Sorry, you say, but this is something I've got to do. Then you take a deep breath and walk back on stage. You turn to our truth, sorry you say, but this is something I've got to do. Then you take a deep breath and walk back on stage. Grab me the mic from Randy Orton's. He's stealing eyes, seeing the burn right through me.

Massive glass of red wine spilling everywhere. Randy Orton, you and everyone else in WWE knows that I want to win a championship title at the WWE night of champions. And if I'm going to do this, I'm going to do a big, let me prove myself. Give me a shot at your title, the crowd goes to the rules. Yeah. Everyone's wondering how you're gonna react. Orton says, you're either the bravest or stupidest kid I've ever met. Tell you what. Can I be both, I respond?

And look at Michael. Michael looks wistful. But then mouths. What are you doing? I bow back trust to me. But then mouths what are you doing? I now back trust me. What is our, okay, so it says, Brandy Warn says, tell you what, wrench, what is our giving right now? Johnny freshly dressed.

French leech dress. French leech dress. French leech dress. Johnny freshly dressed. Because the dress. Beautiful gowns. The dress. French? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. And also a nod to our diamond

Paris. A four minute diamond Paris. Even though it was only a weekend after we got fired. A weekend. Jesus. Yeah. We walked around the Louvre and thought of Michael. And first I thought this was like we were Samantha's best friends,

so we were upset about Jessica sort of she learning herself in, but we're also in love with Mike. Again, both can be true. Right. We never went for Michael because we're like, we can't do that for Samantha's best friend.

And then we get looked over for made of honor. We're just the bridesmaid. We're just like, oh. And so we're not, we're not best friends. Yeah. Maybe I can steal your husband. And also, we're not friends, maybe I can steal your husband. And also we're not sure that we're in love with Michael. We just know that there was almost a train door that closed and the part of the station

and we're like, can I take a taxi to the next station and catch the train I met? We owe that to Samantha to see that through because otherwise those unanswered questions could back their marriage. And they're not married until all the paperwork gets filed. Exactly, exactly. Now's the time, if anything. Yes, we are.

It's a bit too late. Yeah, they've been pronounced husband and wife, but that actually doesn't actually happen till Monday when the court of. When they go to court, yeah. So if anything, we have the whole weekend. We have the whole weekend of it. I just think it's crazy that Michael was supposed to come with us on the Paris trip,

but he could make it that weekend. Yeah, you guys think what's going to happen? We might have said something, I don't know. Okay, tell you what, French Lee dressed. I'll give you a title shot. Michael's giving us a chance. I have the crowd murmur. You're the crowd murmurs and disbelief.

Wait, Randy Orton, Michael, Randy Orton, a living legend has accepted your challenge. On one condition, Orton continues, you've got to prove yourself worthy. I'll only face you at WWE night of champions. If you take down three superstars as my choice, you think carefully, this could be the biggest picture of your life or the biggest humiliation. Okay.

So we could back out or we could take Orton's challenge. We're gonna take the challenge. We have to choose three people to take on. No, no, we don't. Orton chooses. Oh, okay. So as long as he doesn't take on. No, no, we don't. Orton chooses. Oh, okay. Okay, so as long as he doesn't choose anyone from the wedding party, we're fine.

Well, I was gonna say, I hope he chooses Jessica. Yeah, okay. Shit, could you imagine? Yeah. Okay, we're turning to page. Oh, wait, let's do it. Yeah, we're feeling brave. Okay, we're feeling brave.

We're gonna say yes. So many glasses of free red wine for the bar. Okay, so Orton says, think you can handle the big show. You try not to show the panic building up inside you. Big show is seven feet tall and nearly 500 pounds. He could show you up and spit you out in seconds, but you can't show your fear. No problem.

Actually I'm scared, he's really, really big. Can we ask, do you have anyone small? Small. Yeah. Do you have? Yeah, we do. I just got, sorry, I just got hit with a blast of doubt. Can you go get them all right?

Okay, I just got blasted by doubt. Yeah, can we go smaller? Full the doubt blast. Yeah, I haven't changed my dress in like two weeks. Yeah. Because it's so French. Okay, finally the big night comes. You're warming up backstage when David O'Tonga

and Mason Ryan of the new Nexus approach you. So they're like a stable. I believe they're like bad guys, they're heels. We like you, French Lee Dress, says O'Tonga. Thanks, it's me Chul, it's me Chul. Thank you. A muscular athlete with a clipped goatee. Say the word and we'll back you up tonight.

What do you mean back me up, you ask confused. Ryan Leans in, we'll interfere, he says in a harsh twist. This is like a cause, this is like two of the groomsmen being like, hey, we also think that Michael and Samantha is like one of the groomsmen. I actually had a thing with Samantha that I never acted on. These are the guys that when we stand up to say, I object to their union, they're gonna stand up as well and say, us too, we back you on your flight.

These are, these are Michael's two zany uncles. We're kind of like, we don't like Samantha. They acknowledge our chemistry with Michael. Okay, okay. So I think it's important. I think we want to work with him. I think I'm down to turn heel at the easiest point. What is this, if not a heel run?

Well, although what is it? This is definitely a heel run. Five heels, that is. Here's the problem, we could get disqualified. I mean, no, but then there would be an uneven number of bridesmaids standing next to Samantha, so I don't think they do that. I mean, I'm too curious to take up this offer. Yeah, we have to. Okay, normally dirty tactics like these aren't your style, but it might be the only way

you can win. All right. You say do what you want. I know. When it's time for the match, you get called to the ring first. When Big Show enters, the fans start cheering wildly. They're expecting him to come up our life. And it's so fun. We go into the we go into the bathroom with a shot at tequila and we take it making eye contact with ourselves in the mirror. And we whisper, you've got this. Yeah. No more doubt, bless. As we start marching towards Michael,

he melts, what are you doing, and Bruno Mars comes on. He sees how drunk and emotional we are as the Bruno Mars song that we've requested comes off. Up town, funk you up. Up, down, funk you up. We start doing the worm. You charge George Big Show hitting him with a clothesline.

Someone smaller might have gone down, but not Big Show. He just watches you with a music expression on his face. Next, you try climbing the ropes. You're not usually a high flyer, but you're going to need some extra momentum to make it impact on Big Show. Right, because when we jump up really high, our dress floats like peach from Mario.

So we can do like really cool moves. Wow. I'm surprised I can still do that because it is falling apart from how we keep wearing it and only washing it in car washes. The French, they make their clothes different. So as we try to jump on the big show, he catches us. That's when David O'Tonga and Mason Ryan race into the ring. Big Show tosses you behind his back and grabs each one of the new necks of superstars

by the neck. Bam, he slams the two of them together and then drops them on the mat, terrified they run away. Good luck, French Lee Dress, Ryan calls behind him. We are those of people who said they were gonna back us up. Yeah, yeah, they just got beat up. Shit. You're on the mat, groning.

Big show picks you up again, power slams you and covers you for the pin. You've lost the match and your chance to face right here. Oh no. He's peppy for the pin. You've lost the match and your chance to face the end. Okay, well let's just go back to the point before we agreed. So that's the thing. Okay, so the groomsman who said that they noticed our chemistry with Michael were lying. They just don't like Samantha and one of the men. But they don't want what's best for us. Which, which is of course. They can eat Jessica's stands for all week. Oh, no, they might.

They might. They might. They might. Probably fucking Jessica's goons. Did they bear Jessica's mark? Oh, okay. Okay, so let's go back. We're gonna go ahead and turn down the offer.

Okay. We gotta buy it our time. Yeah, yeah. While the offer from the new Nexus seems nice, it's not your style. You're either going to win on your own or fail on your own. That's right. You know what? We have to do own or fail on your own. That's right, you know what? We have to do this on our own.

Exactly. Until we do it with Michael. That's our tag team partner. We get caught at this time, but we turn things around by swinging your legs around his heads. We're doing like a hercan rana. It works. You still go down, but you're able to take.

What's a hercan rana? It's like when you jump on somebody, like, use your legs to scissor their head and then hold them like you like, yeah, you spin them and flip them over. Absolutely awesome. That's really cool. Pretty fucking sick. Um, Koliope does that.

It works. You still go down, but you're able to take Big Show with you and control how you land. Big Show looks surprised. Suddenly you feel confident. The match rages on for at least 10 minutes. Big Show keeps trying to pick you up and slam you, but you manage to take control of the situation

almost every time. He does pound you on the mat a few times, but you quickly roll away and get to your feet. In the end, you get lucky. When one of your kicks sends Big Show's heads crashing into the turnbuckle. He slumps to the mat and you pin him for the win. You almost can't believe it.

Oh! Oh my God. Oh, you. We just dance with Michael. Yeah, we did. We did. We like kind of cut in during the first dance. Oh my gosh.

And we knew it was going well because the photographer was like hovering, getting tons of pictures. Whoa. So is this all taking place like leading up to the wedding? Is this like the bachelor, bachelor, red party? No, this is the wedding. No, this is the wedding. This is the ceremony.

Jake just said we cut in during the first dance. We just cut in during the first dance. We just cut in during the first dance. And the photographer was swarming, being like, this is a moment to remember. This is a moment to remember. That means that not only have we not sweated off our makeup yet, we are actually glowing. We have to pee so bad, but we're not going to. And Samantha looks furious.

Okay, so we're in, get, get, walk walks into the ring and says, I'm not sure if it was luck or skill that helped you tonight, but you've got two more superstars to defeat. Next time you'll face Yoshi Tetsu on Raw. When you face Yoshi a few days later, the superstar gets you in an octopus hold, his leg is draped around your neck and all his weight is putting pressure on you. You're not sure how you're going to get out of this one. If you're trying a legal move to get out of the hole to go to page 52, if you try to bring Yoshi down to the mat and get out of the hole there, go to page 88. Okay, meta playing dirty seems to fuck us, right? Yeah, yeah. I mean, that's all I want to do right now,

but it does seem to fuck us. There is no rhythm here, though. The last book just punished us indiscriminately, I feel like. Well, I guess I don't know if these books are sequential. It's only the order that we're reading them in, but I feel like author got a note. It's gonna do things better this time. We're gonna do it legit. Our ultimate goal is sabotage, so I think we should save it for the end.

Oh, okay, that's good. All right, yeah, I think we do something honorable. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. So that Michael sees. We're not trying to cheat. We're actually trying to bring truth to light. Okay.

We bring Michael's grandfather an old fashion. Oh. Wow. We're trying to get in with the family. Yeah. Wow. Hey everybody. It's Emily here to talk to you about James Allen.com.

Look, we love magical items here on this podcast and what is an engagement ring, but a wondrous item that gives you a plus one to all saving throws. Thankfully JamesAllen.com is making buying the perfect engagement ring a whole lot easier. JamesAllen.com is the online destination for designing a customized engagement ring your partner will love more easily than you ever thought was possible and saving up to 50% compared to traditional stores. Choose from over 200,000 certified conflict-free diamonds. Once you pick your diamond, you can see it in a magnified 360 degree view so you can see what the actual diamond looks like up close, then you pick from hundreds of rings settings

in platinum, white gold, rose gold, and yellow gold. Best of all, everything from JamesAllen.com comes with a lifetime warranty, free resizing, end engraving, and hassle-free 30-day returns. So get 25% off your order when you go to JamesAllen.com and use code PAPA. That's code P-A-W-P-A-W-A-W-JamesAllen.com for 25% off, jamesallenn.com. Goodbye, Sweeties. drunk, maybe you're sleepy, or maybe you were like me and just really needed to watch all ten seasons of Colombo in some sort of mystery solving fugue state. Regardless of your reasoning, if you're an online shopping amnesiac like me, then you

need Rocket Money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps you lower your bills all in one place. Rocket Money will also recommend custom budgets based on your past spending and they'll even send notifications to you when you've reached your spending limits. It's like having your own personal colombo, who opens your door, questions all your life decisions, and then makes you admit to murder. Except in this case, murder is spending a little too much money. You get it, you get what I'm saying, right?

Anyway, with over 5 million users and counting, RocketMoney has helped save its customers an average of $720 a year, and $1 billion in total savings so far. So stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and manage your money the easy way, by going to rocketmoney.com slash pop-up. That's rock at money.com slash pop-off.

That's rock at money.com slash pop-off. One more thing, rock at money.com slash pop-off. Okay, that's it for me. Thanks again, enjoy the show. Okay, every muscle in your body aches and you're not thinking clearly, then your training comes back to you. There's only one way out of this.

You lean your whole body forward, bringing you and you, you go down on the mat, he loses his hold on you and you roll to the side gasping for breath. That was close. That gets a crowd growing. They even start to chant your name. Fridge lead dressed. Fridge lead dressed. Yeah. We give him a twirl. The next time Yoshi throws a kick, you grab his ankle and apply a punishing ankle lock. Then you drop to the mat, pulling Yoshi's leg like a scissor.

He tries to crawl the ropes, but you don't let him. You want this too much. When Yoshi can't take it anymore, he taps out. You've won your second challenge match before you can celebrate. The arena is based in green light and Shamest's theme echoes through the stands. Oh, no. This is the longest wedding. It's your last challenge and it won't be easy.

Shamest has been WWE champion and King of the Ring. He's got a size advantage on you too. Okay, so Shamus is Jessica saying, Hey, what the fuck are you doing? Samantha's in the bathroom. Okay. So this is my brother's Shamus. Randy Orton sent me Jessica Snarls,

Charles Gaggiew, the bell rings, and that's when the man just begins. Jessica, Charles, that you like angry Rhino. Showing you against the ropes, delivering hard punches to your chest and shoulders. This is beautiful because we're wearing the same dress right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just getting into a fight on the dance floor after having cut in on the first dance. Jessica was drinking a lot. Well, she has a plan to match the right party, so she's finally unwinding. Yeah. You manage to get Jessica off her feet a couple times. You're not winning, but you're holding your own. Then you hear a familiar voice outside the ring.

It's Randy Orton. You want to beat me? Then let's do this here and now, it challenges you. If you leave the ring to face Orton, go to page 22. If you stick with Jessica, go to page 59. We got to finish off Jessica. Half definitely. Jessica will always be a threat. We can't move on.

There will be more weddings and she will be there. Yeah. She's got too many friends. She's honestly like it pains me to say, but she really proved herself as made of honor. The sign of it. She knocked the bed. The party was so fun. It was pretty fun. It was just provocative enough.

It was, it was, it didn't go over the top. Yeah, when, what a rafting and then we went out that night. We didn't make the mistake of like going out the night before. We had a really chill night went to bed early. And at first you were like, come on, let's like go out. But, we said we acted in the morning. Yeah.

We like saw nature and got to party. I know, it was amazing. It right call. We act during the morning. Yeah. We saw nature and got to party. I know. It was amazing. It was fucking perfect. I don't hate the idea of Jessica being our maid of honor when that's happening. Yeah. OK.

You guys did it. You just want to bring us closer together. I think so. But for now, we need to destroy her. So you realize that Orton is trying to distract you on some level that's flattering. He wouldn't be trying to do that unless he was worried about you, but you don't take the bait. You keep sparring with Jessica. Outside the ring, Orton doesn't let up. Come on, French that's flattering. He wouldn't be trying to do that unless he was worried about you, but you don't take the bait.

You keep sparring with Jessica. Outside the ring, Orden doesn't let up. Come on, French Lee Dress. Get out of here, improve yourself, Tonsium. You keep ignoring him and then you realize that he's making Jessica furious. Jessica rushes over to the corner and leans over to yell at Orden.

You realize that Jessica is the one who's distracted and that gives you an advantage. You grab Jessica's arm, climb to the top rope, and then springboard backwards, taking Jessica with you. Slam, the whole ring shakes as she crashes in the mat. You cover her for the pin and she's too stunned to kick out. You've won the mat. Yeah.

Oh! Jessica's been defeated. We reach out a hand and we say, Jessica, I want you on my team. Will you be my maid of honor? Ha ha ha ha. And then we cut into the wedding cake and we say, Jessica, I want you on my team. Will you be my maid of honor? That's right. And then we cut into the wedding cake before Samantha and Michael got to.

Right, because who says that we can't just remake the paperwork for us to get married to? Who says that? Who says that this wedding that is happening right now needs to stop? Right, yeah. It doesn't have, I know half the people here. Oh, like these are most of the things.

Yeah, we're like, we're feuding with most of our siblings anyway. Yeah. Right? In a way, this is kind of our family. Yeah. You cross out Samantha's name on that paperwork, right, ours. We're good to go in. Yeah.

The tightest turning and Jessica is an odoree public. So she can get this done. Yeah. And we never wanted to wear white, our own wedding anyways. Yeah. We wanted to do something different. Yeah. We wanted to be sunny and fun.

Yeah. That's the theme. Okay, so Randy Orton's furious that you've won. That's it, French Lee Dress, he grills. I'll see you at the WWE night of champions, just you and me. Actually, I have a different idea. You recognize Mr. McMan's voice anywhere.

His face appears on the big video screen over the arena entrance. So you scouted me. How long ago did you scouted me from? Secure the camp footage from the Sibarro. I could tell you had a little potential. Do you watch a lot of security camps? You were really upset about that Wendy's cup. And I thought that's what I needed, my, that's the fire I need, my super star. I fight for what I believe in, I wink at Michael. I didn't approve any title match between you and French Lee dress, he tells Randy Orton and you get a sick feeling.

Did you go through all this for nothing? Mr. McMahon sees a look on your face. Don't worry, French Lee dressed. You'll still get your shot. You've earned it, but this WWE Championship match is going to be under my terms. I wanna see a fatal four way on the WWE 9 Champions. Okay.

It's a night of Champions Miracle. Okay. Me, Samantha Jessica, and Michael. Michael. That's the fatal forway. It's a fatal forway already. Yeah. Okay, so Mr. Rinkband says,

Ready or You'll have to fight for it, because John Cena and Rey Mysterio want it too. The crowd goes absolutely ape shit. That's a recipe for a great match. You just wonder how you're going to survive in the ring and some of the WWE's most talented superstars. You spend the days leading up to the match, training as hard as you can.

Nobody thinks you stand a chance of winning. That doesn't matter. You just have to believe in yourself. When the WWE night of champion starts, you hide out in your dressing room. You need to stay focused. Is this guy asking us if we want to go to a party again? You want to smoke trucks, go to page 50.

Shit. He was asking, Michael. Oh shit, maybe our ex from France shows up again Oh shit, it's you it's me Anton We've been got a good time to guess yeah You need to stay focused and the fatal four will be the last match of the night when you're finally called to the ring There's a different superstar in each corner Bell rings and Johnson and Randy Orton immediately go after each other That leaves you and Rey Mysterio the master of high flying moves

go after each other. That leaves you and Ray Mysterio, the master of high flying moves. If you try to go after Ray Mysterio with a power slam, go to page 46. If you try to get him in a submission hold, go to page 86. Ray Mysterio, I feel like would be a great addition to our to our wedding party. Yeah. I have a question. So like, let's use some wrestling knowledge here. Does Ray Mysterio seem like someone that that a power slam could work on? So here's the problem, right? Is that both of these aren't great options. Since Ray Mysterio is a great high flyer and technical wrestler, that if we get him into a power slam, he could easily reverse it and like get it behind us and push us out of the ring. But if we get him in a submission hold, he could potentially do the same,

although he's less known for Matt wrestling. So I think submission might be better. And submission is our move, right? That's why we were called French League Dressed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because of our mind games, that's exactly why we were called French League Dressed. Because we got made fun of and immediately sub-minited

and made the taunt our entire gimmick. Okay, so I think submission holds us the way to go. You try to grab a remisterio in a headlock, but the agile athlete slips right out of it. He quickly climbs the top rope and flies off like a masked missile, wrapping his legs around your neck. You both crash into the ring, but the impact is much worse on you.

The attack leaves you dazed, Ray covers you and pins you. You try to kick out, but the ref counts are three before he can breathe free. What? It's out of the match, it's exactly everyone expected. No, you didn't get the championship you wanted. Why is it exactly what everyone expected? Why is it throwing that word in there?

Michael, Michael said that. Do I have the reputation? The end. Just because I did this at one other wedding. Okay, one other wedding. And seven other sabarros. Okay, so we were punished for going for this submission, which I think is crazy.

Also because we established before that when the big show caught us and tried to power slam us, we did like a high-flying maneuver on the big show. So I thought that was teasing us by being like, okay, we're learning kind of how the mechanics of wrestling work in this book, but that's just, no. That's just not how these books work. Murph, love is messy and so is wrestling.

And you should accept that. There's no right answer all the time. You just have to go in what your heart says. Yeah. And we had just gotten somebody else to submit previously. So maybe it's punishing us for doing the same move twice. Yeah, you gotta keep it going. And yes, we don't want Michael to submit.

We want Michael to choose. We want Michael to choose us. We want to power slam him with doubt. Yeah, okay. It's a cycle. Okay, so he tries to heat with a clothes line, but you block it as he staggers back. You quickly pick them up and turn them upside down.

He's smaller than you, so it's not hard to do. Then you fall forward on top of him, slamming him to the mat. As you fall, Mysterio knocks into Jon Cena who's got Randy Orton cornered. An angry Cena spins around and picks up Mysterio lifting him up over his head. Bam, Mysterio goes down hard and Cena covers him for the pin. Randy Orton breaks out of the corner and starts to shake off the haze. That's Cena put on him. You're one man closer to getting the championship title, but you've got to take out Cena and Orton first. Okay, so Ray Mystera has been eliminated. Amazing.

Okay, great, great. I feel like I wanna go to, I mean, I feel like I wanna go to Randy Orton, right? Like the show that everyone wants at the end is us versus Sina. Everyone wants to see Johnny Frenchly dressed in a battered, stinking yellow bridesmaid dress against John Cena. And I want to cut the line to the photo booth with a sign that says, I love you Michael.

Print it out and leave it on the bridal table. The table for the couple. We also go back into the kitchen and we see if there's any more past apps so we can fuel up. Oh, that's good. And for fun, let's just steal some of the heels that people have kicked off to change into the complimentary flip flops. Right. Yeah, let's talk about the river.

See, awesome. We won't want anyone chasing us out of here. What is the vehicle we're going to take when we leave tonight? Is there like a car or something with like the tin cans? It's a school bus going to the after party. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, so maybe we should slip a tip to the school bus driver to be like,

Hey, so lost in the law. She just so you know, Samantha's probably not going to be on the bus tonight. Yeah. Don't wait for her. Okay. I give him some of the past apps that are in my pocket. I guess it by pocket I mean the top. So here's the real question.

I can't full of tie a girls. Do we go after ordiner? Do we go after Cena? Cause I kinda feel like our feud is with Orton. John Cena was tagged onto this. Right. But it's like it's crazy to go for Orton now. That's what I'm saying.

I think we go for John Cena as well. Yeah, yeah. Oh. Yeah. Orton is the prize. Okay, okay. This one seems like it would be hard for us to be wrong on. I say that so that I can be wrong in five seconds. Do you think maybe that John Cena also has feelings for Samantha? Oh, John Cena showed up.

Michael, did you know Samantha had Yeah, that makes a really famous act. Right. Because he's like really famous. What was what we wanted to tell you that night at the camp where you that Samantha wasn't over her ex, John Cena. You see, there's still a lot of question marks there. They never ended it. For some reason, you want to save Randy Orton for last.

That just seems right. You charge a cross-during at John Cena and he tries to stop you with a shoulder block. He's got his arms at his side and he rams you into a shoulder. They just describe wrestling for a little bit. You quickly stand by Cena's feet and grab a leg and he chand, then you twist the legs in an impossible position, turn around and squat, putting pressure on Cena's legs and stretching his spine to plastic. Whoa!

Oh, the cloverleaf hold. I like this one. No, no, no. I can't believe we pulled this off on John Cena. I know. Yeah. This is really impressive. And in front of Michael, no less.

Yeah. Is Michael looking at us end or is the photographer swarming? Because this is a good memory. This is a great memory. Yeah, we just kicked John Cena's ass on the dance floor. We tie him up with French lace Like a night of champions presence We get John Cena in a classic clover leaf hold Dean Malanco style nice and you use every ounce of strength

You have to keep it on Cena. He tries to kick out, but he can't the next thing you hear is a sound of the bell He's tapped out. Okay. Yeah you here's a sound of the bell, he's tapped out. Okay, that's it. Unrealist. I'm sorry. John Cena's not tapping. You're out that quick. Come on.

Unless he was taking a fall for us. Oh shit. John Cena's actually our friend. Yeah. Right. John Cena winks and was like, I didn't want you to have to be the bad guy. I mouth. Is it about Samantha?

And he mouths back. Yes. I mouth. You gave me the courage to ruin this wedding. I am out back. It was in you all. John says I'd be lying if I said it didn't still have feelings for her, but you've proved tonight that you are the one. He melts that, right? Yeah, he's melting. Yeah. Yeah.

He melts. I was just gonna come to the wedding and be normal. Yeah, he melts I was just gonna come to the wedding and be normal Even though I still kind of have feelings for Samantha, but you've allowed me to free myself. I'm mouth back I saw those cargo shorts and I knew you had to be carrying some baggage John mouths, so what's the after party situation? Is there like a school bus or something? Are we getting on that? I'm out back. I taped off the school bus driver with some past apps, so we're good. Yeah. You can't believe it. You took out John Cena.

Now it's just you and Orton and the ring staring each other down. If you try to take him down with a clothesline, go to page 20. If you try to take him down with a submission hold like a cobra clutch, go to page 92. Now's the time. I feel like now we do the submission, right? We just submitted Jocelyn. I know it's too fast.

Our entire clothesline, Frenchly dressed, doing a clothesline. That's perfect. We have not considered this. Oh, but we haven't washed our dress until now. Right now. So we just robe on the dance floor. Yeah. And we attack Samantha.

It's all come to this. We just robe. Do like a helicopter around our head with the disrobed dress. We're wearing a full, beautiful other dress underneath. Okay. And then we mouth to everyone the after after starts now. Yeah.

A cobra clutches a submission hold that you do with both athletes on their feet. Randy Orton is powerfully strong, so it's probably not a good idea. You'll have better chance getting him to submit if you can get him on the mat first. You gather all your strength and charge at him, close lighting him in the chest with an outstretched arm.

It's a good hit and you're in luck because Orton is close to the ropes. He's propelled backwards and flips over the bottom rope onto the concrete. But just when you think the action is over, John Cena races into the ring and not down the ref. I mouse what are you doing? He mouts back. He mouts back.

Don't worry. I've got this. Then he jumps over the ropes and throws Orton into the ring. He's not happy about being eliminated and he's taking it out on his old rival. Ugh. John, wait on the bus. He pounced. He mouths, don't worry.

He pounced. John, I'm out you're being too brave. He pounced Orton, I love you. He said, what? This whole time. He's mout mounting all of this. Yeah, yeah. This whole time, I thought I was just inspired

by you ruining this wedding to get with Michael, that I decided to ruin the wedding also to get with Samantha, but then I realized it wasn't inspiration, it was feelings for you. We have to call things off with Michael. Yeah, I think we do. It's just John's favorite talking about. John and Johnny, it's too perfect.

Yeah, this is perfect. Okay, John, John, I see you. John goes, this is the first time anyone's ever seen it. And then he goes to wave his hands in front of his face, but he stops and then he opens it like it's a window and frames a perfectly framed smile. He's got a ring in his hands. And then he pounds orn like a punching bag

until he sees the ref start to stir before the ref gets up, seen it slides out of the ring. Now, orn is on the mat where you want him and you make your move. You force his legs down over his chest as you keep pressure on his shoulders for the three count. Orn struggles, but you hold fast.

One, two, three, the ref calls out. You fall backwards stunned. You've done it. Not only are you champion, you're the WWE champion. You slide out of the ring and grab the champion chip, then you jump back in and hold it up over your head, letting the cheers of the crowd wash over you. Johnny freshly dressed has done it, freshly dressed, has done it, Cherry Loller cries. The WWE Champion, no one can give them a hard time again. You got that right, you think. You're not sure how long you'll hold the title, Orton and Cena are sure to come, gunning for you, but right now it's yours, and it feels great with John Cena. Wow.

I did not see him coming. Oh, I did not see him coming out there. I did not see him coming for us. People would sit there. We did not see him until we saw him. For who he was. Exactly, yeah. And for the first time, I felt no blast of doubt.

Yeah. I felt the opposite of us. And you know what? It did require us destroying Samantha and Michael's relationship. Yeah. To find our happiness. But actually, if their relationship wasn't strong enough to face these tests, to be honest, as John Cena and us dance at the wedding that we've now hijacked and turneders to our wedding. And we're just going to add some work. I look in the corner of my eye and I actually see this is really crazy.

Jessica is consoling Michael. What? Oh, who saw that coming? So it's possible that we may be a maid of honor in the future. Yeah, you shit. Jessica smiles at us and just does that, like a Mentos commercial. Yeah, yeah, you go again

And with that we're gonna wrap this one up. Thank you all so much for listening I go to our after show over on the patreon patreon.com slash nad pod We're just gonna walk through our our troubled marriage with I think we will pick a different I think we'll pick a different book, but I think we can carry over some of the drama from. I don't know. This entire bridesmaid thing came from them saying, calling us the bridesmaid, so it's possible. It's pretty organic. Something new will come in that we'll get entirely distracted.

No promises. No promises. Just so fresh in our minds. Just so fresh in our minds. This one a lot better. We only lost and had to cheat one time. Yeah, that's really good, right? I think it was twice.

Twice we lost. I think we lost twice. Yeah, but our eyes were on the prize though. This was a much better run. Yeah, we didn't lose like 10 times. That's how many times Michael cheated too. Yeah, good. The real rumble one, we made the wrong choice

literally every time we had a choice. And this time I think we were like 50, 50, if not like 64. A little better. In favor of like us being decent. I think we're getting better at these books. Yeah, we're getting better at these books. We're so good at books.

Well, the problem with the Royal Rumble one is that there's 30 people in the Royal Rumble. So it's like every single time a new person came in, they're just like, would you like to take a 50, 50 chance to detect this person or that person and you just pick one randomly? And sometimes it makes you lose. Make a 50-50 chance to detect this person or that person and you just pick one randomly and Sometimes it makes you lose make a choice based on zero strategy. Yeah, it's exactly. It's just do you attack John Cena or this person? No, I don't know. Yeah, okay. I attack him alright, but we will be

Doing another adventure book over on our patreon patreon.com slash nad pod Does anyone else have anything they'd like to plug? Yeah, we have, we got shows next week folks. Yes, New Orleans is gonna be November 14th or landows is gonna be November 15th and Fort Lauderdale, aka Court Lauderdale on November 17th to Junction Court live. So be on the lookout for that.

In the meantime, you can follow us on social media, the Remiriamann I use at CHRISME, at Call These Call-Dual, at AX4D Emily, and at Jake Ritz's Jake, and you can tweet about the show using hashtag nag pod that's NEDDPOD. We are we are, you the nation, we are we are, you the nation. They made a book about a video game game game game We made a podcast about that book It's the end of our show, which means it's time to shout out our benevolent council of Elters Please my friends, stand wherever you might be and accept these accolades.

Brad D. Jeffrey S. Lord of the Fjord. Hucy. Later McSkater. Matt M. Cutter W. Feared Al. Daniel G. Dylan Bays. Dungeon Mama. All right fine. It's extremely sexual. Daniel the Dastorly Dame, beard man, den. Danny P, Vincent W, Victor T, AKA Balnor's boy. Hoyt's friend, Justin I, Danny Danster, TJM, Traile, the Cray. Christopher B, Damial R, Jordan L, cyborg version of Josh the Cobald. A sweet blue hoe!

Filled with beans. Princess Y. Jory S. Jack L. Nicholas C. Star of every film ever made in Bahumia. Not currently starring in anything in solidarity with SAG after. Looks like the strike is hopefully coming to an end so you can get back to work, Nicholas C. Samuel L. B. Mike H. Alka Smeltzer Plus. with SAG after, looks like the strike is hopefully coming to an end so you can get back to work, Nikolasi. Samuel B. Mike H. Alka Smeltzer Plus. Great value, Jimma. Adam G. Tyler F.

Niebadger. Panama James. Horadrian. Rex Daniel the White. Diana Deilos Lopez. C.C. Lulu. Hakuopwau. Silwabatfolk Detective.

Lucas B. Reiko, its Kevin, Tucker's wife, Lynn Michelle. Calder comes cold, hashtag CCCforever, stay frosty fairy followers. Taylor B. The vengeful one-winged angel, caskateboard cask. Steven sees Stevens on the seas, see Mike K Lady Taco shout out to Uncle Pepe Jake L knit W, swashbuckling swag snagger, Agniti of the NADCord that's discord.gg slash NAD pod William W big Big Bad Beer O. The Mad. Anana Rama. Percival Frederickstine Von Musul Klasowski-Derolo III. Item, the simple dimples.

J. Dragonborn, the Sandrein. Bin A. Dave H. Catherine S. David K. Christian S. Ryan D. Dustin S. Danny F. Hawkeye Pierce. Bookfars Assistant Izzy F. DPC is awesome! Shown the Shade Tree Mechanic of Zelbaldar. Summer Rose aka Grand Terre. Kat C. Misa of House in Zunza, Ariel the occasional mermaid, Selena in a K.A. Volacy Raptor, B. Perky always! Pat L, Maxwell J, Lauren H, Talia, Nolani, the coffee to brewing fighter of Lin Piao and Bahumia. Ryan S. The Booooon Duster. Annie the Windex Goblin.

Ball business illustrator and sort request. Ooh, you know I got to see your depiction of Johnny, French Lee Dressed. Yes. Carly A. Conor S. Celil. Leviathan. Bioquart 7. Amber Dextrous can't wait for NAD pod in Nola. Connor S. Celiile. Leviathan. Bioquart. Seven. Amber Dexterous. Kentwait for NAD pod. Innola. Me neither.

Sullivan H. Trabhop Dropper. Jack Cubert. Crabsger. Champion of Crod. Scuttling sideways. Towards tomorrow. Stip snip. Lindsay W. Vaelin. Carlin C. Arma Don. The only. Emily S. Saul Sl slimy spunk, hashtag release the sweet blue haul cut. Oh, it is out there and it is glorious.

James G, everything bego, the eladron who just wants to hang with his pet badger Stripey. Daddy must attendee. Han, Eric B, stars and roses for Han forever Marcos Jordan P the occasional grit reporter learns the balance druid Dakota James P free to M Pego self-proclaimed fade king joined in macabre matrimony they will never know a lonely day again as long as I draw breath. Damn, her core. Tracy P. The Crick-Off Librarian.

Maggie Smith, C.U. In Chicago. Hope you had a nice time, Maggie. Holly Hyena, Kristen Z. Leah, Hunter H. Tyler W. Sweet Blue Ho! People have learned they can just type that and I have to say it like that, and honestly, I love it so keep doing it. Pixel Stars, Akash T, Andrew, Crick Plainswalker, can't wait for Orlando. Do Phineas.

Cal, just Cal, Russell H, a monk named Ilgo, yes the whole thing, yes every time. Toilet decision, for a time I shall hiku. Throw dice at called well. Ow! And I have a vague memory of someone. Was it just a dream? About an elder, a trap, a song. Maybe came over. Who was that? Keychains Pentium II processor. Lorelai the Succubus and Kyra her busty queen. Matt Im, your friendly neighborhood, Yant and Yunkal Andrew and Sid. John Adams, yes, like the president.

Meg, the male carrier manager of Bohumia. James F, Jimmy A, M4L, Austin S, Knight of the Living Fulster, C.U. in Denver, hope you had a great time. Wayfarer, upon returning to their faith flower shop, found a completely overrun with trolls! What will they do now? Shane C, Barpo Good Barrel, Bard Barian, Three Awakened Gooses, Welshlander, Garrett G aka One Big Curd, Mr. D, Dena the Daisy, Sean J, Ethan B, Havy the Half-Work, René the Monster Captain, Box Clifton, Olivia the Enchanting Bard who is working hard on her addition for the lead singer of the Mountain Cros. Yeah!

Winter Slade. Riley S. F likeo. Angry Wheat. Anthony the Radist of Dudes, who secured his Carnegie Hall tickets for himself and his lovely partner Josh, the finest of dudes. Josh H. James B. Clementine T. Caleb L. Ferry followers are celebrating Hashtag CCC also HAAAAY! Cantrip Dumbledore the Bear onesy wearing barbarian Lexi H. Mj. the BFG drinking tea by the

sea. The little ferret pal going to CART LARGH your dail. Haha, see you there! Eleanor Kay, Wrath Modius, Geno T, Mama Bell, the Silva serpent, her self, Seen at spell, the wizard, Derek D, Tristan the Taliless hunk, Leon Kumori, legendary hero of Bahumia from a future campaign. BTA Workshop. David, the greatest artifacer, aka, electrician. Shunianicanzo Connor.

Mios, the great. Alex Kay. Joshi P, the public enemy. Joshua S, Alexander. Lins W. Angel LaPamela, the forever vindicated. M.S. Red, the reforged, warforged.

A cat, napping in a sunbeam, listening to a podcast. Hard one's hot, hump, gunk. Shell B. Kinnis' third favorite sprite girl, not only is hard one leaving, but the sprite girls are breaking up. Oh, tough week for Kina. Jackson R, T3R, HX, official Ned Flanders, Troy D, Blaze, future King of the Pirates,

watch out Luffy Blazes coming for ya. Z-Borb, Blake H, searching for a sweet blue hoe. With his bestie, Big Bev. Lloyd wants to think her sweetie talk for the tickets to the New York live show. Shelby C, Papa Skaties, Mima Skaties, Taylor B. Oh, it's V, Tommy W. Mike and Lisa sending love to all y'all. Hey, the human. Megan N. The Big Ilm.

John Fraser, the Dice Lander. Jake's ramen shop, Rip Melky or the Brave, Leonan Warrior, who even cares about the rest of the party. Not me, that's for sure. Tracy P. Carjish, Benjamin A. Sacrificial Otaku, pin named for Calis Cousin, who discovered anime and is trying to spread the word all over Bohemia. Jiggy Merlino, Mikkel A. Channimal, commander of the 5th anniversary live show Pocket Foster Army.

Rrrrng. Angie A. Liloth, Josh H. V. Ultrabarn. Froaky, Nicholas B. Jacob Kisee, Ambassador Goof of KC. Bill M, Naples, the Shive Bookworm.

Nicholas S, Ashley, Quick Draw McGraw, and Franco, AKA Vlad, AKA Pat, AKA Bronze. Woo, that is all of our elders. Folks, thank you all so so so much for your support. If you would like to join this illustrious number, you can do so by going to patreon.com slash nad pod. That's going to be it for us today. We will see you here again next week.

Thanks so so much for listening. Take care. Farewell. Goodbye. Hey n mad pulls. Caught while here letting you know that the two crew has headed way down south for our last live shows of the year. On November 14th, we're going to be at the Joy Theatre in New Orleans.

On November 15th, we're going to be at the Hard Rock Live in Orlando, Florida. And on November 17th, we are headed to Fort Lauderdale, aka Court Lawyer Dale, to hear some trials at the table at the Parker Theatre. Tickets are available at nadpod.com slash live, so get yours now and come watch as the dice and quite possibly croissants fly everywhere. Nadpod.com slash live, we'll see you there. everywhere. NADPOT.COM slash live.

We'll see you there.