Not Another D&D Podcast - C3 Ep. 42: Elimination Chamber (Legends of Irondeep)

Episode Date: August 25, 2023

Duck Team faces a slew of hedge knights in a multi-level melee! Hardwon teams up with Kenna, Callie goes jetskiing, and Sol loses the crowd. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content! Get tickets to our upcoming live shows at naddpod.com/live.Music/Sound Effects Include:"Crowd Cheering" by Gregor Quendel at Freesound.org."Sea Waves" by janrou at Freesound.org."A Wizard Tournament" by Emily Axford."Malscurial" by Emily Axford."Starspawn" by Emily Axford."Gunvar" by Emily Axford."A Fate Refused" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a Headgun Podcast. Howdy friends, call well here letting you know that NADPOT is hitting the road again this fall for an all new live show tour. This time we're doing actual play sessions and a few D&D court lives. Tickets are available right now at nadpod.com slash live. For a full list of dates and venues, just listen to the words coming out of my mouth. on the 16th. Then, we're coming to Los Angeles on October 26th, Denver on October 27th, and Sacramento on October 28th. After that, we're headed to Las Vegas on November 10th, New Orleans on November 14th, Orlando on the 15th, and finally, last but not least, Port Lauderdale on November 17th.

Again, tickets are all available at NadPod.com's Flash Live. Get yours now before they sell out, and don't forget to bring a sweater because it might get chilly, and also sometimes, Murf forgets to pack his. One more time that's nadpod.com slash live and we'll see you on the road. Bye bye. Welcome to the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Bahumia everybody. Bahumia.

I'm your Dungeon Master Brian Murphy joined by Jake Herwitz. Hard one, surefoot. Emily Axford. Feeling sad about a really hot guy wearing a bag. What? I think that's cool. There's a lot of projection going on with chain song or draw.

All right, be rest in bag. We're all wearing bags over our heads while we record. Yeah. Right. It's sort of your veil. Your mail is a bag. Yeah.

And then of course, we've got Cullbill Tanner. Pummler of Batella's, Mangleer of Meniscus, the carnage of the cartilage, lock up your knees, giants, because Saul Bufo is coming! Yeah! Lock up your knees! Lock up your knees! That sounds painful! Actually, lock up your knees that could cause injury.

Uh-huh. Ah, yeah, that's true. Lock up your knees because he's gonna lock up your knees. There you go. Exactly. It's gonna make you a little... Stand really hard. You kind of keep your leg straight

to to straight if anything. Yeah. You can't see, but I'm nodding under the bag. Yeah. Notting would be one of the few things I would be able to see. It's a really big bag. It's really big. It's really big. It's so huge. It's a garbage bag. And you can't see, but I'm wearing two pairs of glasses on top of each other.

Okay, that seems under the bag. Especially because you can't see but I'm wearing two pairs of glasses on top of each other. Okay, that's a nice story. Especially because you can't see because you're in the back. Well one is sunglasses, one is regular glasses. Okay, still doesn't make any sense but thanks for clarifying I guess. Appreciate you guys. You can't see but I am naked. Yeah, okay. Okay, we can see that.

Yeah, the bag on. Yeah, the bag on. Oh, I can't see that because I have a bag over my head. Right. Exactly. Okay. With that, let's go ahead and do a little recap. Last time, you found yourselves outside of King Ektar's castle as giants all around you

toasted to the capture of Gina Bronzebeard, and an attempt to psych out the competition for the next day's tournament. Callie approached Chainsaw McGraw for a very one-sided flirtation. Wow, really felt reciprocal. Really? Timber. He definitely attacked people with a chainsaw. I thought there was something there.

Yeah, there's something for sure. Yeah, something. Afterwards, you headed to Winches Workshop, where the giant artificer helped you iron out your request for the king. Should you win your tournament, you resolved to provide evidence of Ektar's treachery through a projection of salt memories using magical bracers created by Winch. Hollow Hands. The Hollow Hands really forcing that name. I don't know that it's going to take. I don't know that it's going to take. So you guys hoped that once confronted with this, Ekdar would hopefully be forced to face

a trial by steel against the party. Winch left to get supplies for your potions while the rest of you hung out on his balcony. There you found a half finished teleporter that began interacting with Hardwands communication equipment on one of his receivers Hardwan found a distress signal from moonshine siren. I know her moonshine siren. I'm not bad. You tell you've never listened to campaign one, come on now. She, along with Bev and his forces, were under siege in Cords Great Hall on the plane

of Isgard where the rogue god Grumpsch was attacking. Hard one tried to get to them right away, but wasn't able to because Winches arcane battery was not providing enough power. But after prompting the magical serpents to help out, the device seemed like it could be functional in a couple days. That night, Sullen Hardwan had a sparring session, and the latter conveyed that he was happy that he could finish this last job with them. After, Sullen saw proposed a hard one that he could take swag with him to the astroplane.

Meanwhile, Kali spoke to Kenna about her mother and the promise that she made to protect the serpents, eventually landing on two names for the beasts, Honey, Suckle, and Lakerage. Yeah, so cute. But sometimes you just gotta be a little sincere. Sorry, sorry everyone, sometimes you gotta be a cutie. How dare you? How dare you, so cute. Oh, that's adorable.

Sorry, sorry we're cute. The next morning you arrived at the Colosseum and were brought to a waiting area. There you debated poisoning chainsome agrar. So much time dedicated to deciding if you're going to poison chainsome agrar. And it was just so funny. In detail, try to figure out if we want to inject a hot dog. Yes.

We have it to rinse so we can inject a hot dog. The problem is, is ultimately had you guys decided to poison Shane Summa Grah. I think he would have eaten whatever you put in front of him. The problem is, is if he was very obviously poisoned, you guys might have been arrested before you could be even gotten on the floor. Oh yeah, yeah.

Let me forget about rule. Right, yeah. In honor. Yeah, yeah, you guys are kind of going into this competition, trying to prove that the king did something dishonorable, so if you win in poisoning someone, it might not be a great look, but you did. You didn't. So we're all like, we never promised. Yeah, but we're really cute those the thing. That's true. We are cute on our behalf. We have a fabulous

set. So after deciding against poisoning, I change some of the graph, you were ushered into the arena. You and your seven fellow competitors were separated by arcane barriers, literally locking you into your starting brackets. That was a fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking heavily pouring. You can edit it out, my friend.

This is a choice you can make. Oh, okay. I know this is, I you can make. Oh, really? Okay. I know this is. I tried to let it go, but it was such a huge pot of tea and it took you so long, Jerry. It was loud and then it was also long. And it was the whole paragraph. And then it was the whole paragraph.

It also covered the noise of me peeing, which you have. It did sound like a little tingle. So you guys were locked into your starting brackets. You managed to overcome your first challenge quickly and put an end to Chainsaw Magra in one round. The southern barrier of your quadrant then broke off, connecting the entire left side

of the battlefield and putting you in the middle of a fight in progress between the original Jolly Jouster and a fire giant warrior. And that's where we are now. All right, so. OJJ. and a fire giant warrior. Oh boy. And that's where we are now. Woo! Right, so. O-G-J. Chainsaw, McGraw is electrocuted and explodes.

The crap goes, ape shit as you'll mourn his loss. Is there anything left of his face? Yeah. God, a roller luck check. We'll say 15 or higher. It looked hot when he came out of the bag. Just a seven. Okay, no, he completely explode

And it's very disgusting as you look at all the sizzling meat and search for his face I mean, I guess the mystery and the possibility that it was hot is kind of the hardest thing now You do find a bag full of gunk Well, and this is you know actually hot you know from the explosion I use my action to try to reconstruct who he really was. We have to find a cleric. The original Jowlester kills you. And the pain is over.

Someone cast a generate just on his face. The campaign is over. Everyone. So we had fun. As the crowd goes crazy and Shane Sama Grah breaks apart, so too does the Southern wall, opening up the lower left quadrant. That area had been filled with water. So it immediately begins flooding into your area quickly,

dousing the entire left half of the arena. You all were atop a platform. As the water flows beneath it, you begin to float up. The platform under you is a 20 foot square. Okay. So your original environmental challenge was this magic sphere that was causing wind and lightning and kind of pushing you guys,

trying to push you into the arcane barriers. That has dipped into the water. So it's now combined with the water here. As you see, it begins channeling powerful lightning energy through it. And the wind effect has begun to cause rapids and waves in the water and spinning to create a whirlpool effect. No longer bad winds, but you're now on the shaky platform that rattles back and forth

as there's waves everywhere. And the water is like electrocuted. And the water is electrocuted people. An electrocute tempest. Yes, there you go. like electrocuted. And the water is electrocuted in people. An electric tempest, of course. Yes, there you go. So the two left quadrants have been connected. You are plopped down into the middle of a battle between a fire giant named Barg Snib

Fax, this fire giant that looks kind of skittish, wearing leather armor. And Barg is fighting a colorful cloud giant called the original Jolly Jouster. He has slicked back green hair and messy clown makeup. He's gone on a purple duster that is opened up to show off his shirtless tattooed study. Actually, I think that you are borrowing someone else's ideas. Me? How but true original. I'm pretty. You see, he pulls out the a joke. He has an Ed Hardy branded metal playing card of the Joker. You can be the Jolly Joker. Clearly you're going for a Joker thing.

No, I'm the Jouster. He has a laugh. We have a signature laugh. Yeah, we do too. Yeah, we all laugh one after another. You're trying to imitate a true original year. Yeah, you'll, you'll, you'll. Here's mine.

Huh, that's funny. Here's mine. Hey, good stuff. And here's mine. Yeah, we're going for sort of like a small muted thing. Okay, being big and so over. You see, you see he goes, well, I guess I'm just, uh, and he pulls open his duster further, and you see a ribcage tattoo that says misunderstood.

I wouldn't expect you all to get it. Well, we didn't have time to get tattoos because we just thought of this yesterday, but we are going to get tattoos later. I also got this tattoo yesterday. It's so raw. Dude, I'm sorry, did we come up with the jolly jowster thing first? The tattoo is so fresh. Yeah, it looks like... No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You see, that green hair dye is leaking shut up. Everyone shut the fuck up.

It's a price tag, I'm gonna let her... You don't understand, you don't understand. I'm misunderstood, I'm a freaking mind-free, okay? Your shoes look like they haven't been broken in You just put those things on that playing card is so fresh. It's not even crease. It's metal Dude, it's hardy. Yeah, well, it's not even scuffed Okay, so here's the situation you find yourselves in so yes So this wall has come crashing down the jolly jowster does look like he can fly

So yeah, so this wall has come crashing down. The Jolly Jouster does look like he can fly. He is hovering over the water, deeper down the battlefield. So it's basically you guys on one platform, then 20 feet of water, then another platform with barge on it, then the Jolly Jouster hovering over the water on the other side of him,

at the top of the round that is Cali. I think I take out the fly potion. Ooh. And I think I say, So smart. Do you mind if I give Licorice the levitator raid? L Lvitator raid.

Yeah. Okay. All right. Licorice is immune to lightning damage. So Licorice is cool to be in the water. Amazing. Oh, interesting. So he might not even need the... Likersh actually, so Honey Suckle has a burrowing speed

and Likersh can levitate. So Likersh cannot fly. Really? I'm not sure if he can go over the water. So all three of you cannot go on Likersh at the same time. In that case, Likersh at the same time. In that case, Likersh will definitely sink, but one of you and Saul could. Okay.

And a hard one with 20 feet, you could potentially jump from platform to platform. Hot, okay. Then I think I'm gonna look at Bog and be like, we could make an alliance so we could just try to get rid of him right now. And I think I might wanna cast Shatter on his platform. Okay, okay.

I will say at the start of your turn, as you look to your allies and are trying to decide whether to kill or work with bark, you do have to do a deck saving throw. And I'll say you're about in the middle of the platform, so you got about 10 feet to work with on either side, to see if you'll fall in. Dirty 20.

Dirty 20 passes. Yeah, yeah. So, can you hunker down, you hang on to licorice, like riding a bucking bronco, you feel the rhythm of the waves, and just kind of go with it, and manage to stay on the platform without moving, and you are free to act.

Okay, do we want to try to work with Bog or should we just try to take him out? We should ask Bog, who he thinks is like the more original Joestar. Hey, Bog. Ah! Just looking back and forth, I'm seeing double here. Oh God, so obviously not the same.

Do you yield, sir? Ah! Do you yield? Maybe, maybe. Bog, do you promise to join our team and work with us? And if we win together as a group, then you will surrender and give us the win. Yeah, Barg, you could be like our Harley Quinn.

OK, perfect. Wait, no. There can only be one Joker and Harley Quinn. I mean, Jolly Jouster and Harley Quinn. Yeah, there you go again, taking our idea. Barg looks at the J jowlster and goes, okay, I'll be on your team too. What?

Okay. I'm on everyone's team. Bark, come on. I'm on everyone's team. Bark, bark. Bark, bark. Bark, bark. Bark, bark, bark.

Bark, bark, bark. Bark, bark, bark. Bark, bark, bark. Bark, bark, bark. Bark, bark, bark. Bark, bark, bark. Bark, bark, bark. Bark, bark, bark. Bark, bark, bark.

Bark, bark, bark. Bark, bark, bark. Bark, bark, bark. Bark, bark, bark. Bark, bark, bark. Bark, bark, bark. Bark, bark, bark. Bark, bark, bark. Bark, bark. Bark, bark, bark. Bark, bark, bark. Bark, bark. Bark, bark, bark. Bark, bark, bark. Bark, bark, bark. Bark, bark, bark. Bark, bark, bark. Bark, bark, bark. Bark, bark. Bark, bark, bark. Bark, bark. Bark, bark, bark. Bark, bark. get a tattoo. Barker, you're gonna let him talk to me that way. I don't know who you are. Bark, look us to tattoo appointment right now. Look at the original Charlie J. Okay, he starts looking for Magitech, almost falls into the water. I think that we might need the platforms for like our own transportation. Yeah, it would be cool.

So I'm gonna not shatter the platform. But I feel like Bark is not Harley material, if I'm being honest. He's really not. Huh, Come on, Mr. Jay! I'm going to go after Bob. Okay, so on licorice, you ride across the water like a fucking jet ski, but on a surface, just shopping through the waves, lightning goes up and hits Likrish. Doesn't do anything, Likrish just absorbs it, you just start by her, gathers around him,

and you ride up onto the platform with Bark here who screams and turns to you and begins getting ready to wildly swing his sword. And I'm gonna take two attacks. See, you didn't even quit. You had so many opportunities to quit. I thought this was just a regular bracket tournament situation. Why are you in my thing now?

How is this fair? This isn't regular. This is strange. It's a Joker thing. You wouldn't get it. Yeah, you wouldn't understand. It's too twisted for you. We're damaged.

Opens up the coat even further to show a damn. You wouldn't have had to's too twisted for you. We're damaged. Opens up the coat even further to twist down. You just, you and that had to color all day. Yeah, yeah, you're actually damaged. That looks super infected. It is. 29 to hit, 22 to hit. That hits. You go up and begin making quick work.

You and Likarish with around this platform. It's slick from all the water. You guys slide around dodging swings from barg as you stab into him and get under his armor. And I'll do my bonus action attack to see. Also, it's 20 teeth a hit. Sick. Yeah. After hitting him twice with your primary weapon, you pull out the ice dagger, you feel it cold in your hand, and stab into his side. Oh!

They hit him. I'm- How many of you are there? Do you need defensive floors? flourish given myself plus eight to my Full ice shield go up around you what is up with your theming your ice but also lightning but also you're the Joker Okay, I never said I was the Joker you are the one Okay, I never said I was the Joker. You are the one who is the Joke. You're not the Joker, okay? Once again, your...

I'm not, we give you no. Show us another tattoo, but this one says misunderstanding. What is it? You have every declassion of the word we're not aware of. Every way to say misunderstood, is that's what I am. Yeah. My parents fought sometimes.

Sometimes? Yeah. Just on occasion. And other times it was fine. Yeah, my parents fought sometimes Sometimes yeah And other times it was fine Other times it was fine Okay, this is insane I rolled so well it didn't even smite and I got on those three attacks at totals 43 damage Shit nice. Okay, so no smites just swinging around way faster than Barg as he clumsily swings at you You expertly dodge and get in under his armor and stab him for a staggering 43 damage between Damage you took the first turn and that's bark is already looking quite hurt

And looks up at the original jolly jowlster. Okay, mr. J Looks up at the original jolly jowlster. Okay, Mr. Jay And I squirt up with him because I have a fucking 27 AC After Cali's turn that is Saul's turn Saul you are on this platform. Uh, start of the turn deck safe 18 18 will do it. All right. Yeah, so you feel a rush of water coming underneath you guys and begin to like almost capsize the platform,

but you jump with it. I in land in a three point stance, you're good to go, you can take your turn. I'm gonna like yell at Callie and say, hey, do you need help with Barg? I mean, you are so quick, you could probably come finish him off and then travel up.

Great plan, I love that. So I think if I use Step of the Wind, I can jump 24 feet. Oh, six. Oh, yes, I'm gonna fly and kick right towards Barg's kneecage. Go ahead and make it a tackle. Okay. No athletics check needed, you fucking just frog jump

from one part of the other. I mean mean these are lily pads, right? You're in your element Okay, first tech 18 18 hits second time 19 sweets. Yeah, the knee assassin gets in there Flying kick from 25 feet away just absolute nightmare right into the back of his knee. He just grabs it and collapses. Oh my God! No! No! You'll never be a bird of prey.

The original Jolly Jaster goes, he is twisted. No, like a butterfly, sting him in the knee. What? Chinnick. Go ahead and do your name it. 17? Okay. Berg is pretty hardy but looks quite injured.

You blew out his knee. He falls to one side. This is the worst day of my life. I thought I was going to fight one guy and then another guy and then a guy after that if I won. But I'm in a storm and there's little guys everywhere screaming like they're the Joker. I was gonna try and finish off Barg with Floria Blows,

but I already used bonus action step of the wind. I do have a lot of movement, so maybe I start practicing towards the OG JJ. Oh, I'm going to point at Barg's, say funny thing about people with knees, they got two of them, and I

Springboard off of his other knee and launch myself into the air Hey, you springboard off his knee. That was like a move from cheer He does get an opportunity attack. Yes, he turns and he swings the sword at you Okay, only an 18 hit Mrs. Mrs. Swings whips big time 18 to hit Mrs. Mrs. Wings whips big time and you jump where you still have enough speed. My movement is 50.

Okay, so yeah I jumped 24 so I can jump 24 more feet. Great, okay so there is another platform, another 20 feet away that will put you on the other side of the Jolly Jalester essentially. Great, he's in the middle in the water. Sweet, you jump, he's a little bit higher in the air. You see, he kind of moved to the side as you buzz by his duster that flows in the wind here.

Easy, I got this at Spencer's gifts. What? What even? What's your hard to understand? When, when, because I'm so into think that you still, oh, fuck him, man. Yeah, that's the last guy. Let me see the receipt.

Yeah, can I see the receipt? Yeah, fine. Pulls out a receipt. It begins working on it real quick with a fan. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're editing it. No. Also, you're just wearing normal pants.

Why didn't you buy special pants? I didn't have time. This is all adding up. That's Levi's Joker-ish bootcut genius. Let me look. Saul lands on the other side on another platform. After Saul's turn that is hard one's turn, hard one, you are on this platform with Kenna. Well so much has happened. Yeah, I feel bad for this, Barg guys. Should we just go and just misery?

Start of your turn. Go ahead and get your deck saving through a hard one. 22. 22 passes. You're good. You stand, you take a stance like a surfer, I just kind of ride the wave. All right, how far is this Barg platform for me?

Can I jump to it? 20 feet. You can jump, you have 20 strength. Barg Barg, good. Barg, you want to this bark platform for me? Can I jump to it? 20 feet. You can jump. You have 20 strength. Bark bark. Bark. You want to hear a knock knock joke? No! Oh.

I do. I do. I do. Okay, perfect. Hard one runs and jumps. Yeah, hard one. You get a little bit of a running start. You back up a little bit and then run and jump and it with a super human feet of strength, something that you have not

gotten to do in a very long time. I've planned on a three point stance with your ax out, bang into the ground here right next to bark. And I say knock, and then I swing the ax really, really hard at his chest. I say knock, I ate this joke. Okay, shut up to the two go. Oh, man, try, throw it, roll your blast, maybe.

Oh yeah, okay. Maybe we're gonna throw it. He is wearing leather armor, so he is a slightly different than normal fire giant, he has 16 AC. Okay. Can you hit it on a far? Oh, 16. I just did.

Yes. No, no. Oh yeah. My knock knock joke is gonna land. So hard one, you land. It's a little bit of a shit, it looks bad ass, but you're kind of off center when you go to swing your ax, so you just barely graze him as you're swinging by, but it doesn't seem

too effective, it does seem to hurt. Yeah, I feel like laughing a little bit at my own joke. Shit, that was good. My second attack is a 17 to hit. That also hits. Ladies and gentlemen, the joking jouster. Yeah. That is 25 damage for Barg.

Okay, he is on death's stoop. Yeah, well, you know what, I'm gonna use, this is not Barg related, but I'm gonna use a battle master maneuver, quick toss, and chuck my javelin at the jolly jouster, the OG. Oh, yeah. And that is a 27 to hit. I see someone else with shopping on the internet

for cool weapons. Actually, we earn these weapons by adventuring, okay? Yeah, no, I was given this javelin by like a god, I think. You don't remember where you got it. It's no big deal that it's been a few, it's been 200 years, all right, Kelly? Oh no, we can't stop infighting now. And that is just eight damage to the Jolly Jouster.

After swinging around twice and hitting Barg, a greatly injuring him, as he goes to swing back at you, you kind of roll out of the way, grab a javelin out of your pack, and while the original Jolly Jouster is distracted by all of this, you throw your javelin and manage to hit him across the ribs, damaging one of his new tattoos. Ah!

Wow, you're gonna need to get that touched up. Missunderstoo. You're misunderstood. Shit. You only thought of one joke. Fuck, hard one. Fuck, no, you are a damn it. After hard ones turn, that is some of the other fighters in the other quadrants, but then we get down to the Jolly Jouster.

The Jolly Jouster is going to turn around and look at you, Saul. Separating from the pack, but you're not alone wolf like me. And it's going to be... Yeah, I'm a frog, man. Wait, I'm clearly a frog. She's not alone frog like me.

He's going to light up one of his Ed Hardy metallic playing cards and toss them at you. Rolls with disadvantage, only a 15 to hit. It sticks into the platform next to you, but misses. Seize how hard you are to hit as you pop back and forth and turns around and goes, new strategy.

He's going to fling a weapon at, let's say, Cali. I turn to the crowd and say, I guess he has a little light on his feet. It's just silence. I think they probably just can't hear you over the storm, Saul. Hard one, I need you to write jokes for me. All I had was a knock knock thing. That is 23 to hit, Cali. It misses because my AC's 27th.

Oh my god. Impossible. Yeah, you see card flies at Callie. Big ice barrier stops it from getting near her and you see it falls and shakes and just settles on your platform. Well, okay then. And is then going to use an ability called CloudStep

and is going to bonus action teleport another 30 feet beyond you saw over more water. And there are no more platforms on that side. So you just over open water, 10 feet above the water. After the original Jolly Jousters turn, that is Barks turn, Barks just screams and swings at a hard one. Hey, what have I ever done to you, Barks?

Everything. You did everything to me. Why did you end to this? I thought it was going to be a regular tournament. Can I ask like, yeah, if you, If you won, what were you gonna ask for? I was gonna ask for regular armor, metal armor. I was gonna ask for metal stuff. I don't know, I should be here. At the end of this, I'm gonna give it, okay,

secures to some. 28 to hit hard one. That does it. Okay, I'm not giving it to you anymore. That's 25 damage. I'm not giving it to you anymore. 25 damage. I'm not giving it to you anymore. That actually fucks me up a lot, Mark. Yeah, I know I'm strong.

Second attack is only a 15 to hit hard one. Thank God that misses. Whiffs? Can I need a potion? Can I? I'll try. I'll try. You see Kenna, not terribly dexterous,

does have to roll a deck save at the beginning of her turn. Kenna cannot possibly pass. She rolled so low, that's a natural three. So you see on her turn, Kenna is rocked by the platform suddenly going up under one of these waves and she full on, falls into the water. You see she is shocked by the lightning there, and it is difficult terrain to try to get out.

Can I take the fly potion? Take the fly potion. She does not have the fly potion on her. That was not established. She has only health potions. So she is struggling trying to get to the platform. She needs to do a strength saving throw to not get pulled deeper into the world.

Can I swim? Come on, Kenna. Okay, strength saves, she passes. So she does not get pulled deeper into the world. Can I swim? Come on, Kenna. Okay, strength save, she passes. So she does not get pulled further. She uses all of her movement to get herself back up to the platform and now is gonna do another strength saving throw. Come on.

Pull herself on there. Ugh, Kenna. Kenna, this is- Yes, Kenna. And with a natural 19, and it's just to get back up. But Cana is not built for Dex saving throws. You see, she pulls herself back up just soaking wet and sizzling from having been just like hit

by lightning and stuff. Yeah. I'm good on the potion. Poseidects turn. Do not worry about it. Poseidects time. Poseidects time. Cana, I'm fine.

We are going to get that levitate potion to you. I mean, I'm like, I'm like, I'm a the square, of the square, I don't require any help. I do. The helping, thank you very much. Screaming from across the battlefield. Look, we're all each other's squires here. She took a little damage from the water, but had to use her whole turn to get back onto the platform.

So she is just laying there on the platform, looking a little hurt at the end of the round that goes back around to Callie. Okay, okay, okay. Can I, with the Warhorse movement of the serpent? Can I, yeah, of licorice? Can I use licorice's movement to give the fly potion to Kenna, like a full fly?

Yeah, yeah. For her to take net rounds. Great, so you grab the fly potion, you put it into a pack that's strapped to licorice, you dart over to Kenna, toss her the fly potion. Thank you. And then come right back and bog, we are settling this right now.

Settling what? You're dead to me. You really fucked me up, Bart. Yeah. You fucked me up. Bart, you. That's 20, baby. Woo! Yeah. You fucked me up. Bard, you. Not 20, baby. Woo!

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then I, 20 to hit. And then I know you're not 20 on my office. Oh my god. Because I have a mounted combat. So Bard, greatly underestimates how fast liquorice is.

So see is that he's hurt hard one and begin swinging down, breathing heavy, just like, oh, gotta take one of them out, gotta take one of them out. As Kelly darts away, he thinks he's got this opportunity, but now he's got his back turned to her as Kelly flies back, stabs her sword into him with all the momentum of liquorice's levitation.

37 damage. Finish him. All right. I'm gonna take him into my arms. What? Why? Can't this just be a regular fight? You had a chance to make an alliance,

but now you're gonna get electric you is. Oh my God. I push him into the car. And Bargit Snibfax has been eliminated. Sorry. Here we are. Thanks for doing my dirty work for me. I guess I should call you my henchman.

Yeah, I hear him. Wait, is that a different laugh than before? I feel like that stuff. Try that stuff, try that. Okay, this is not the time to work, job. Yeah, yeah. Oh, so we've already attacked you. Dehenchman attack the people that they're working for.

Sometimes they disagree on stuff. You really, you should keep your henchmen in check more. If the henchmen are brave. I'm gonna give you a hard note. Okay. You're a broken mess. You're a hunk in mess. There's no consistency in anything you say or do. You ripped off a litigious property. You ripped off a litigious property.

I didn't rip anything off. And you abandoned an instant. I didn't get an instant. The only thing that I ripped off, which one, how can you say, you're not ripping things off. If you're shopping at Spencer's gifts, more than stuff, we have to know.

You're basically buying a costume, right? That's not a costume. It's an outfit. I'm curious. Again, let me see that receipt. I want to see when you bought it, I want to see what it's called. Fine, you're taking it. Drop's called. Fine, here take it.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, drop it in the water. Oh, shit. The ink's all gonna leak. The Chris, okay. It's perfectly crisp. Wait, no. Sweet. Yep, there it is.

Okay, Barg is dead. Kelly's just gone, Saul, that's your turn. You are 30 feet away from the Jolly Jouster, who I guess has been shouting, because he's like 70 feet now from those guys. Right. But he's pretty close to you, he's 30 feet away.

30 feet away. I'm going to use another bonus action, step of the wind. So jump 24 feet. And then would you allow me to use my tongue to spider-man my way, the rest of the way to him? Basically, just like attack with my tongue, grab grab onto him and then punch him in the air I'll let you do a grapple check to try to hang on to him if you want to be hanging on over the water If you're spider-man and he's the Joker is the Marvel versus CC

This is getting really easy. Oh, no. I don't know if I can get is there another platform? There is no other platform. Okay, that's like really the only way I can get, is there another platform? There is no other platform. This is like really the only way I can do this. He's using the fact that he can fly to get himself out of arms reach of people. Okay. I think I can like next turn, I just had to give Ken the fly potion, so I had to backtrack.

But next turn, I can just like, we can scoot you out there. Yeah, maybe I'll hold my turn, hold my action and wait for Callie to get in position. Great, great. So what I do is I pick up the metal card that he threw at me, and I just lick it tauntingly. That's sick. I must admit, actually first things first, Ali and Saul give me deck saving goods.

I don't think we did the money turns. 26. Sick. Okay, you guys are all day. 28. Besides my NPCs and monsters, nobody falls in the fucking water. Wait, what are you gonna ask for if you win the tournament? Me? Yeah. To be understood. Well, then your tattoos wouldn't make any sense, right? I would just get the miss change just to like a freaking eagle or something.

Oh, okay, so it just be eagle under stew. I would, I would, MIS, okay. Well now it says under stew, so yeah. I'm gonna, yeah, I'm gonna have to get this. See, this is the inconsistency I'm talking about. I'm talking about what the eagle has to do. What, being the joke? You're freaking sick, okay? They fly like me. Okay? I feel like your

grasp and at straws and not reach in any. And they'll all fall in into the water. After, so it's all holds is turned. I'm waiting for Callie to catch up. Yeah. That is Hard One's turn. Hard One's start of your turn. Dex saving. 23. 23 passes. Yeah, that is hard ones turn hard ones start of your turn Dexaving 323 23 passes. Yeah water rocks under you, but you're just rock solid take a wide stance and you're all good This guy's pretty far away from me still too, right? Yeah, so he's so 20 feet of water 20 feet of platform another 20 feet of water So he's 60 feet away from you. Okay, um, you know, I think I might hold my action as well. Okay. See what's what. Great, okay, so you ready a javelin, get ready to attack the Jolly Jouster.

If you can. Sure, yes. After hard one's turn, that does get back to the Jolly Jouster. He's gonna go ahead and take a chance and try to cast suggestion on Saul. And he, uh, fucking so suggestible, looks at you Saul and goes, look, we're both sick, we're both twisted. But at the end of the day, we don't want anyone to get hurt and just wire back there. She looks like she's in trouble, okay? It doesn't sound jolly at all. I'm sorry. It was like jolly about your

demeanor. There's really jolly about your job There's nothing jolly about this just cutting through all the noise Say I'm concerned about your squire back there and I think you need to go back there and just hold her in place and make sure She's okay. Go ahead and give me a wisdom saving throw. I don't know. Oh JJ That doesn't sound like you're in character. I'm just cutting through the noise man Just trying to cut through the noise. I. I'm just trying to cut through the noise. I'm actually pretty pleasing, Frays. I'm just trying to cut through the noise. Oh yeah, that's 13 plus 5, 18.

You pass. Yeah! The fact that this is so off-gimmick makes you see that this dude's even more of a fake than you thought he was. JJ, what are you talking about, man? Cut through the noise? I thought you would love noise. Yeah, what are you talking about, man? Cut through the noise? I thought you would love noise. Yeah, I shouldn't be having to tell you

to slice flies back. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just being so random right now. What? Yeah. Oh, guys, actually, now you are consistent.

If you just say I'm being so random, you are being really consistent then. can take it back just a roll to see if he gets back his Cloud step I And he does that's random so he's so random. I was gonna go further back So he's about another 20 feet back. So he's about 50 feet away from you Saul. Okay. How far is he from me? 90 feet. After the Jolly Jowster's fucking wasted turn, that is the end of the round.

You guys have killed Barg, which opens up another one of these walls between quadrants. You are in the bottom left one, fighting the Jolly Jouster. Kenna is still in the original area where you started in the upper left. You see the arcane barrier to the right of her brakes. Opening up the chamber where Jorb is dueling another giant atop higher up platforms.

Water from the left side of the battlefield begins flowing into Jorb's chamber, but you guys are pretty far away from it. The only person close to it right now is Kenna. Okay, um, Kenna take that potion. Oh, right. Yes, Kenna does still need to go. So first things first, um, started around. She has to do a text saving throw.

She's possibly fall into the water. But after this, she natural one, she fucking. No, wait, I have an, I the water. But after this, she, natural one, she fucking, oh no! Wait, my action is held and I'm only one platform away, right? Oh! Oh! Okay, so as soon as she looks even a little bit unsteady,

I'm gonna jump back, jump back. The whole platform that she's on begins to tip like it's gonna flip over and you run over and jump to the other side. I'll say, do an athletics check and that will replace her deck saving throw. Okay, nice, 19. 19 passes, okay.

So you jump to the other side, you get on her platform just as it's starting to tip, you jump on the other side and your weight brings it back down and as she's sliding off, it levels out. You guys crash back down, electrified water, going up all around you, spraying, but you guys are not injured. Thank you, Mr. Shorefoot.

We can't lose you, Kenna. That wouldn't be jolly at all, now would it? No, it wouldn't. See, this is a sadon theme. It's time for a duke, Ghibbik, the lion squirre, I just said on theme, it's time for a dude, give it the lion squirre and get an iron board. And she shugs the fly potion. Woo, so that'll be, we'll do that one as a bonus action.

And then she floats over to you hard one and she will use an action to do a greater healing. When you use it as a full action, you get max, so you get 20 HP. So she burns over. Yeah, I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. when you use it as a full action, you get max, so you get 20 HP. So she burns her. Yeah. I love it. I love it.

I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it.

I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it.

I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. and his opponent, this other fire giant named Holocaust Skurge. They are atop platforms, but now there is this weird black hole above their quadrant that is pouring electrified water, just like a pillar of water between the two platforms. And those guys are kind of a little bit like barg, they're kind of panicking and just, they're just throwing rocks at each other, not wanting to go through the pillar of water. So they're on these platforms. I above the water just chucking rocks at each other near this electrified waterfall.

Sick. And you just hear a sustained scream coming up from you. So they also thought that she's going to be normal. Yes, they also thought this was going to be normal. One guy who does not think this was going to be normal as you see, Iscar Hardshell, the total dragonborn, knocks out his opponent by bashing him against his giant iron shell, then stomps down

and pops the head of the guy that he was fighting against. Your sins will take you to show. Oh, and just squeezes the guy's head. Is he the one that has an octopus? There's an inert crack in his chamber that is just right now uselessly flopping around, but you do see at the end of the other round, another barrier opens up.

The one allowing Isgar to get to Jorbs Quadrant. Uh-huh. This is turning into just like a soup of death. This is getting messier than the Joker's whole situation. It's the Jouster, the Jouster. Is it man? You said Joker, like so many times. I never said that, then why the playing card, right?

Name the one time I said that. You are? Oh, I'm sorry that I had a Joker in the playing card, right? You have a tattoo that says, I'm the Joker. Oh, I don't. Once again, you're misunderstood. You have a tattoo that says, I'm the Joker. No, I don't. Once again, you're misunderstood. You misunderstood me. Okay, he's quoting me.

He's got a tattoo that says, Miss Quote. Wow. That is Callie's turn, top of the round. Okay, I'm going to rev up my fucking jet ski licorice. And I want to licorice has 120 feet of movement. Oh my god. It takes a dash. and I want to, licorice has 120 feet of movement. It takes a dash.

So I want to like rev it up, pull over, spring water everywhere and be like, so get on and then get right up to him. Sweet, you can get underneath him. He's, I'm gonna say about 20 feet up now. So all does like a stage dive backwards onto the Jetski. Hell yeah, you get onto licorice Um, you're standing up as you guys ride across these raging waters full with lightning you get right under the Jolly Jouster

Um, who prepares his throwing cards I'm in a way because Saul has a held turn Okay, I feel like you're gonna be able to really get up there. Yeah, I think like once we're in range I'm going to just like leap up, basically try and do a couple of kicks and then land back on the surface. Great, so you jump up, straight up, just frog jump from the serpent and begin kicking at the Jolly Jouster.

Who begins trying to defend himself, go ahead and make your attacks. This time I'm going for ankles. Okay. That's got some expert in fighting giants. I saw the way you locked Barks knee. Now 20! Yeah! Oh! Wow! That's got some expert at fighting giants. I saw the way you locked Barks knee Legs are so long the longer they grow the bigger the ten days

You see vicious snapping of his ankle. Oh my god. I'll go and roll the second attack see if I double crit try walking to the mall now 19 almost a double crit I rollerblade at the mall Fine try doing that now. Because your ankles are fucked. You've been full of the blade at the mall. Well I put on roller blades and then I fly. I feel like you have too many hobbies. Do you know how to roll her blade? If you put on, then flying.

I feel like I'm at ease rolling the blade. I feel like negating that thing. The blades, the wheel spin. I make amniars pose. You make them spin. Why? Because I touch them and I make them go and then I fly so you like you know What you know what I actually do misunderstand you I don't understand you at all I misunderstood I misunderstood you I don't understand you man 27 points of damage

Yeah, you do two brutal kicks to his ankles. Oh my god, I'll never roll a blade again. You were never rollerblading before. You don't know. It doesn't say in the dictionary that that's not rollerblading. Honestly, it might. I think the wheels have to make contact with the ground. You think it might stay there. Also, they're just like, air-flating or something. That sounds rad. It's a great idea. Try to own it a little bit.

Yeah, and Saul, I'll say with that nat 20, you don't even have to do an acrobatics check. You land safely back down on the serpent. I would actually like to flurry of blows. Great. So, I think what I'm going to do is I'm going to use my tongue to grab onto his ankle right where I broke it. Right. Kind of swing around and just like sock him right in the face.

Oh, don't put weight on it, don't put weight on it. You swing around with your tongue. After grabbing his ankle, swing around, and go for a punch with all this momentum. Does it 19 hit? 19 does hit, and a 14. 14 misses. Okay, so I hit one more time.

So you see, bloodied with two broken ankles, having just been hit in the face, immediately begins to bruise, blocks one punch, and goes, nice try, but you'll need to be better to hit the jelly toss. That's gonna be 10 more damage. Okay, he is hanging in there. I kick right in the edge of his mouth,

so it makes him do a big weird smile. Hi. Hi. After Sol's turn, that's hard once turn. I kick right in the edge of his mouth so it makes them do a big weird smile After Sol's turn that's hard ones turn. Oh, it's I saw him. Oh my god Souls back down right yeah, so I'll have jumped back down All right, yeah I was hoping someone would use those We said we painted them to look like duck eggs. Yeah, I was hoping someone would use those. We said we'd hate them to look like duck eggs. Yeah, I like. Squeeze, foster, and it pushes out.

Spits it out. Okay, he needs to do a dexterity saving throw. Jesus Christ, that's a five. Go ahead and do five D6 piercing damage. Okay. 16 damage. Okay, great. So yeah, you throw this grenade perfectly timed.

Wait, what grenades are in play? Huge explosion. He's back. I just didn't want to use my resources on you. Recoil says he's hit by this huge explosion. So it turns to the crown, says, look like there's egg on his face from huge cheers to... Oh yeah!

Because he looked like a duck egg! Yeah! After Callie's turn, that is Saul's regular turn. Saul, you just had a held action. Yeah, I guess. Like, I just want to use the grenades now, too. Like, why not, right? It's just kind of fun.

What is the theme here? You guys are more open-minded than me. The theme here is you fucking dying. Me? Well, it's actually just pretty random as well. Yeah. We're actually taking this seriously. I don't know about you, man.

I'm just trying to cut through the noise. Like you're creating a lot of noise. What's your real name? You don't know. It's so weird. It's so weird. You wouldn't even understand. It's weird. It's so weird. I's so weird. You wouldn't even understand. It's weird.

I'm going to guess it's Wendell. It's not Wendell. I've seen the receipt. It's Wendell. Damn, I knew. He's the credit card to pay for. It's so weird. This spends the same restaurant. It's so weird. Wendell restaurant. I mean, that is weird. You know, I agree. That is weird. That is weird, yeah. Did your grandfather like, and spent restaurants? Yeah, I might try to think,

because if your grandfather was just like a restaurant tool, right? Because sometimes people like, on the end of it. Yes, my grandfather invented restaurants, okay? But it wasn't easy for me growing up, because my parents bought some time. You said Stomptime,

but the other times it was, was it mostly good? It was fine. Yeah. For the restaurant, my parents were successful. Of course. It was mostly good, but it when it wasn't good It was okay Starts vaping So I'll take your goddamn turn cars of course. Uh, Saul jumps into the air I was gonna flip over the jostres head

Mm-hmm try to like pull the back of a shirt see the name tag tag that says, Wendell and then shove a grenade down. Right, you jump up, you throw a grenade at Wendell Restaurant. He'll do it next save. That time Wendell Restaurant does pass. So, okay, 5D60 takes half. 5D60. We're down to five grenades and it's so worth it. So, you do see he does sacrifice the purple duster.

So, as he feels the grenade go down his back, he wraps it up and he goes, if you saw that receipt, you know how much of a sacrifice I'm making right now. And he tosses it away as it loads up. It was on clearance. It's still a lot for me right now. Again, I feel like you could have bought armor or something.

There's nobody just buying armor. I don't know. I just buy a car. I don't know your damage. Oh, another 17 damage. Oh, you know, 17 halved, so eight damage. After Saul's turn, hard one that is your turn. Okay, so what is the distance to Jorb and not other platform? It's 50 feet up and about 60 feet to your right. Okay, do I have a grenade?

If you guys split them up. Yeah, of course. Yeah. I feel like we would. We always give out grenades. How far could I chuck a grenade? We get the scooter, we're gonna give it to hard one. You could definitely, you could throw it 60 feet,

certainly. Okay, I'll, yeah, I'll hook a, everybody's doing it. This is our, hey, this is right, juggling act. I don't know, great. Here's what I'll, yeah, I'll hook a, everybody's doing it. This is our, hey, this is right, juggling act. I don't know, drink. Here's what I'll say. Comedy comes in three and so do grenades. If you would like to have it hit one of the dueling giants,

it's within range. I'll also let you do an athletics check instead. If you wanna try to throw it perfectly between them and possibly get both of them. Ooh, yes, I wanna do an athletics check. Okay, go ahead and give me an athletics check. We will say DC-18. Okay.

That's like there, that's their armor class. That's a 13, but I'm gonna use a luck point. Okay. That's an 18. 18, okay, so hard one. You chuck a grenade, you see this ruler? Well actually what I do is I pretend that I have to sneeze really hard.

I say, oh, oh, oh, and then I throw it, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Waterfall falling down from this black hole between the two platforms and blows up on impact. Hitting both Jorb and this other guy who are going to do deck saving throws. Is it fuck up the platform too? It doesn't fuck up the platform. The platforms are pretty sturdy. Go ahead and roll your damage. They both failed.

They're both gonna take full damage. 15 damage. Okay, hard one. Yeah, you throw, you see this impact, this explosion, these guys are both blown back, are hanging on, now we have kind of like fallen over and are just hanging onto this platform, trying not to fall into the water deep below because their platforms are up super high.

Meanwhile, Iscard is running towards them, just yelling, you two are gonna get dragged down to show. That's H-E double hockey sticks! Oh, is he afraid to swear? Do you guys think... You guys are freaking screwed! I keep it clean, everyone, no blue humor! Yeah, it's car, you saw him brutal, he murders someone. And those guys look like they're afraid of Iscar.

He seems like a fucking heavyweight. Oh, I guess I also might just use my movement to try to get closer to them. Great. OK. You know what, I don't want to have anything to do with the Joker anymore either. So I think I'm just going to, I'm

going to extract myself from this situation to your environment for me. And I'm going to go over there now. Cool. There's another platform that's sort of the halfway point between the upper left quadrant and the upper right one. You use your movement, you're able to jump 20 feet from one to the other.

You weirded out our friend. Look, our friend's leaving because of you. Of course I weird people out. I'm damaged. I'm done here. Windle, you really gotta accept yourself for who you are. After hard ones turn and he jumps from one side to the other, that is the Jolly Jousters turn.

Jolly Jousters are so mad. It's just gonna start throwing cards at fucking Callie. Someone get hit, please. Oh, Wendell, these look valuable. I pick them up at the end. A 20 to hit Callie. Hit. Okay, second attack.

19 to hit Callie. Hit Hit. Okay, second attack. 19 to hit, Cali. Hit. 47 damage, Cali. Oh! Whoa. Yeah, two metal cards fly down. They've got these psychic powers on them that he seems to be kind of like commanding them,

like telekinetically, where to go. As they hit into you, you do feel like this psychic sting. I lose, bless. I lose blast. Bless goes down. After the jolly jowsters turn, that is canistern tied for some flyer and the squirre. And is going to, you know what, she will actually follow hard one. A flyer squirre, very nice. And why not feed him another potion

So hard one you get 20 HP as she burns another greater healing She's also gonna do squire inspiration so that gives you a D4 for all attack rolls and saving throws So you essentially are still blessed for this round hard line camera. Oh, yes, Kenna Hey everybody, it's Emily here to talk to you about Dark Dice. Dark Dice is a free, horror, actual play podcast. It's a legitimately scary podcast that does a great job bringing a horror campaign to life. The episodes are short, averaging 30 to 45 minutes, and the cast is a mix of first-time players and folks you might recognize, like Jeff Goldblum, Lily Peachoo, and Jasper William Carright, friend of the pod. Look at that! Dark Dice has won over 20 awards for sound design, acting, and music. They edit combat to

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But then reaches down with all of his giant strength, breaks off a chunk of the platform underneath him and tosses it like a rock right up at the guy fighting Jorbs. You see it cracks this dude in the head and just instantly fucking kills him. This dude was already on Death's Door. He falls off and splatters into the water here and you just see the water goes up

and begins like electrocuting him. What in the shell just happened? Hey, that's my thing. As that dude dies, the last barrier goes down. The four quadrants finally connect. And the water that has been locked away in these individual quadrants floods out and fills up the rest of the battlefield.

And you guys see in the bottom right corner of the battlefield, the inert crackin that was just flopping its tentacles, finally gets to use its swim speed, dives under the raging waters that crackle with lightning energy and disappears before you see two tentacles sprout up from below the surface and begin snapping out

at random competitors. It does not act yet. It is now you guys, the Jolly Jouster, Jorb, and Iscar, the Dragon Tour of Horn. And Jorb shouts down to you hard one. Drew's, right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, good.

Get this guy. I got your back. We're good here. Go ahead and give me a deception, Zach. That is a 16. With a not one, he, okay good, yeah! I think three of us could take him. I crossed my fingers for the crowd.

After Iskars turn, that is round five. We are back up to Cali. Cali got the jelly. Okay. I was through above you here. Yeah, so I can't hit him with my smites and I don't want to use my face step on him because I'm worried about a lot of other stuff going on.

I think I got someone I can try. Okay, then I'm gonna hold my tent. Okay, sweet. Kali, you hang on to Likarish. You guys are not doing deck saves right now because Likarish can levitate so you're not affected. It's only on the platforms. All right, what I want to try and do is grapple him

and basically shove him down into the whirlpool. Okay, you will have to do a grapple check against him and then you'll have to start doing shove attacks to push him. Okay, I can try and keep pushing. Basically, like get on top and bicycle kick him down. Yep. Yeah.

Okay, let's do it. That is exactly what I'm gonna try and do. Okay, do it. So your acrobatics against his strength, first roll for him is a 21. Okay, acrobatics. Okay, so yeah, Saul jumps straight up. Does an axe kick down, tries to hit him? So not one. That's an a 21. Okay, acrobatics. Okay, so yeah, Saul jumps straight up, doesn't Axe kick down, tries to hit him.

That's an at one. That's an at one. Okay. Okay, so it's going to the next one. I'm moving on to the next one. Yep. Oh my God. Shout out to the two crew.

I'm gonna go ahead and bonus action, flurry of blows. Okay, okay. So yeah, so blocks twice as you're kicking down on him, just has his hands up and his blocking. No. Yeah! Yes, yes, yes, yes! Take that, that's terrific. Within that 20, I'll let that push him 10 feet.

Okay. So after striking down twice, and failing to hit on these bicycle kicks, you do this big ax kick that cracks him directly on the top of the head, as he begins to fall down. It gets within 10 feet of Callie. You do still have one more attack

that you can get him another five. He's gonna do a contested athletics. He rolls a 14. 14. We can do this, we can do this, we can do this. 14 on the top. 23. Yes.

Callie, you watch this after two blocked kicks. Saul lands a solid one, knocks him out of the air a little bit, and then Saul gets one last desperate drop. Yes, sir. It gets him within five feet of you as he falls back down on top of Likris. I expect two fucking attacks. Yes, getting the hole.

25 to hit. Hits. And 28 to hit. Both hits, yeah. And, too pronged attack. He's not prepared for this. Has his hands up, trying to block Saul, gets knocked down directly in in front of Cali.

Cali slashes into him as he has just opened himself up. And I'm gonna fucking smile. Yours, why not? 48 damage. You stab into him, quite hurt, but still alive. After Cali and Saul's turns, that's back up to hard one. You and Kenna have gotten on this middle platform, and then you see up in the air are these two pedestals

that the one guy just got killed off of, and Jorb is kind of hiding up there. And then you see Iscar Hardshell is just ripping up platforms, whatever he can grab, to throw at Jorb or to throw at whoever. Okay. I don't care who the shell I kill. Oh, shell yeah.

Okay. So me and Jorb have an alliance. Right, right. And I give him a solid thumbs up. Jorb gives you a thumbs up. And I guess I feel like internally I'm thinking if I attack Iscar, then Iscar will attack me, but I might rather have him attack, Jorb.

So I'm gonna roll the dice, and I'm gonna hold my turn. Oh, I'm just seeing. Which one of us he randomly attacks? This is a pretty good plan, Mr. Shorb. Oh, God. Jorb, I'm ready to defend you. Don't worry.

Get him, get him. Get him. I whisper. I can't hear you. Well, I can't hear you. I Don't worry. Get him, get him. Get him. I whisper. Get him. Why can't he hear you? I can't hear you from up here. I'm gonna, I'm gonna stake it. I can't hear you.

I can't hear you. The best thing that I should do to support us and his team. Great. Right here. Hard one, you hold your turn. That is our friend of the jolly jousters turn. Jolly jouster is gonna roll to see if he gets his cloud step back, and he does not.

Yes! Yes! So he is going to take a chance, and instead of still wants to be able to get a tax off, actually, you know what, he'll do two slam attacks to start the round. So he just loses any pretense, drops the cards, and just starts punching you guys in the face.'m a fucking giant what the hell am I doing?

Wendell come back. I'm not the Kelly just drum window restaurant What would your grandfather say? You'd be proud of me for embracing the restaurant This would make your parents fight a little bit. That is 17 hit Kelly Macy's second attack 26 to hit Cali. Hits. 28 damage Cali.

Ow! And then he is going to use his movement to fly up 40 feet away. Opportunity attack, then. Okay, go ahead and make your opportunity attacks. Do we both get him? Yeah. 17 hits. 19.

Both hits. Yeah, you guys are too quick and swing back and slash it. I mean, 17 hits. 19. Both hits. Yeah, you guys are too quick and swing back and slash it, I mean, catch him. Doing a second level, Smite. 18 damage. 11 damage. So 29 damage between the two of you? Yeah.

Describe what it looks like as the two of you destroy the original Jolly Jouster. I think that I hold up a mere and I say, what do you want to say to him? And I point to his reflection in the mirror. Because you're acting like we all misunderstand you, but I'm thinking you misunderstand yourself. Wendell. Maybe it was me who misunderstood all along. He looks at his tattoo.

He looks at all of his other tattoos. He looks at the receipt. Okay, can I live? I put them into the water. You guys just kick them into the water. And he blows up up and that is the end of the job. He fucked me up so much. You okay? I'm not.

I'm not okay. Did I get the last hit on that by the way? Yeah, yeah, he did. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We say that I got the last hit so that I can get the 10 HP. Yeah, buddy. You just, uh, you go and kick him as he falls into the water. Yeah. Wait, are you coming to help me? You're coming to help me. the 10-HVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV Everyone really appreciates it. They see how hard you're working. The more I dance, the more blood comes out. At initiative 12, the Kraken acts.

The Kraken is just going to roll. Whoever gets closest to in the initiative is going to be who the Kraken goes after this turn. With a 15, the closest is Jorb. You guys rolled so high back your favorite. So you see that as Jorb is trying to hide hanging onto this platform as this maniac is Scar Hardshell is throwing rocks at him and he's trying to yell to you hard one to work with you.

You see a tentacle flies up. It actually misses him. So you see it flies up and snaps at his ankles and goes like, whoa, what the fuck, what the fuck? Starts backing up, this thing gets a second attack and grits on the second attack. Jesus Christ. Don't worry, Jordan, I got your back.

What the hell? You see, Jordan takes 29 damage as the Kraken's tentacle flies up and wraps around his neck and pulls him off the platform. It begins getting ready to like fling him off into the water. Help, help man, help, you gotta help me, you gotta help me. A hard one pretends to reach for me. I can't reach you, Jorb.

My friend. You're like secretly pressing the closed door elevator button. Yeah. After the crack and turn, that actually is Jorb's turn. So Jorb is going to try to get out. You can do it, Jorbs. 16, he does not. So just tries to fight against it.

Kraken uses a legendary action to fling. It's just going to throw Jorbs into the water. So you see right next to where you and Kenna are a hard one, Jorbs splashes into the water. Massive wave of water and lightning, splashes, amists past you guys, as Jorob takes... Good Jorob. 15 damage and reaches out for you,

and goes, please! What the hell? I can't, I can't reach you. Reach it, please! Reach it through the bar! Reach it through the bar! It's hard to get that in bedding over a guy. Reach it through the please, reach it through the heart. It's not even bending over. Reach it through the heart.

Reaching his hand. And, uh, Jor looks truly, truly fucked up. That is Kenna's turn. Kenna is going to, I think, look down the battlefield and yell, anybody at the fly in, squire in. Desperately. Oh, yeah. First things first, she'll do squire inspiration again

on hard one as a bonus action to give you a D4. And then she is going to fly across the battlefield 30 feet in between the Jorb fights and Calli's so that she can toss a potion to Calli feed it to her as she flies by. So she is there, she is ready. You know, I don't think you need to make helicopter noises when you fly Are you sure? It's working yeah, I have to say

I'm making jet ski sounds though. You might as well make tough sounds after Kennis turn that is is Scar, Harchel the dragon, Torell, born You two have been talking a lot about being on the same side. What the shale's up with that. You heard that. How the hell... How the shale is your hearing so good? I've got little holes.

Point's that is, Turtle ears. Me too. Nice. Me three, I lie. Don't hurt us. We're all brothers. Iscar Hardshell is going to tuck his head into his tank like Shell and just charge across the platforms that you hard one like a runaway freight train just in a straight line 30 feet. Go ahead and give me a strength saving throw. Fair enough. Can I use my held action at this point, too, to counter attack?

Yeah. Strength save was 15 15 is a fail Hard one you take 57 damage now And he pushes you 30 feet so you fly into the water You take 14 damage as lightning strikes you in the water here. Oh Okay, what the shell just happened As lightning strikes you in the water here. Oh. Oh, okay. What the shell just happened? Ah.

This gimmick has legs. Actually, wait, wait. Kenna has her ability. She turns and says, Side step, Mr. Shorefoot, side step. She's gonna reinforce. Go ahead and reroll that saving throw. Oh, gotta beat it to 21.

Oh my god. Thank you, Kenna. That is a nat 20 big step. Woo! Okay, I have to remember to sidestep. You sidestep? What the show was I thinking? Yeah. That's my gimmick, dude.

It's really good. So with that miss, that's a huge attack, but that is the only attack that he gets that round. So he tries to charge you, you move out of the way, you don't have to take all of that damage. You're able to sidestep because of Kenneth's thing. She has used her ability for the round on that. Okay, but I want to use my held action to attack Iscar.

Oh, right. Great. Now that we're in it, I'm just gonna, you know what I'm gonna do a fainting attack to give myself advantage on the first attack. Great. That's a 19 to hit. 19 actually does not hit. You hit his hard shell.

Okay, that's a 23 to hit on a 23 to attack hit. Yeah, you see he kind of tucked in so that it could hit you like a fucking freight train, but you do a jump up and just stab into his shell where he's tucked in. Guess you've seen turtles before, huh? Yeah, you know, I work with a lot of amphibious creatures. I'm gonna action surge and use two more attacks.

Great. Yeah, you jump up, you grab onto the shell and you just start swinging down with your ax. 27 and does a 20 hit. 20 does not hit. I'm gonna use a luck point, try to hit him at least three times. Oh wait, dude, you also have squire inspiration. You have a D4, so I won't use a luck point. to hit him at least three times. Oh wait dude you also have square inspiration You have a d4 so I won't use a lot of point. Yeah, you don't need to

So that's a 22 hit use that square inspiration for that first 19. Yes, you could possibly hit if you get a three or four That's only a two. Okay, so I hit sorry his AC's 21. Okay. All right, so I have four time. Spider inspiration does it So yeah, so I'll say canna, because she all she did this round was like, fly and she's just waiting with a potion. She's just looking across the battlefield, just like, okay, just gotta tie that for a perfect poor with Cali and then look at Hardwood. Mr. Sharfut, little bit of a sidestep.

And then you're gonna want to strike down. Turtles tend to, you know, hide in those shells there. So just kinda haggard. P pivot point, get a good pivot point. Really wish you could come with me to the Astral Plane. 67 damage total. Oh yeah. Wow. Oh yeah.

Okay, you see he goes from looking completely badass and unbelievable to very clumsily missing you, and then you slash into him a bunch and goes, I'm so soft inside my shell! You figured out my weakness, my body! Wow, right. That's why you're so shell-focused, I guess. Now we go back to the top of the round, Kali, that is your turn. You've got Kenna waiting for you at the halfway point. This betrachor, I have your order ready. Yeah, can we do dry fly? Yes, of course, fly by.

So I want to kind of like maneuver the serpent right past the. 20 HP right away. Yes. And then can we go join hard one against Isgard? Yeah. So Isgard is fighting hard one, is tucked into his shell, as hard one has just grabbed on, is just swinging his axe inside. The crowd's going nuts, as you guys begin to overcome Isgard.

Let's do it. 28 for the first attack. Okay. 17 for the second. Okay, 17 misses, but the first one does hit, so you join hard one grabbing onto this dude's shell and stabbing in. This is disturbing imagery. He's vulnerable inside the shell. He's don't hit me in my body. I'm gonna use a luck point to try to make this and that into a hit. Not to any!

Oh my god. Yeah, yeah. That's my luck point from my luck point. Okay. Yeah. Yes, I'm gonna do such a fucking high level. And then let's see if my off hand hits. I'm feeling jolly. My off hand misses, whatever. I'm gonna do a fucking fourth level smite at with the credit.

With the crit, Jesus Christ. Yes, you just see, as Cali stabs in, light starts shooting out from the shell, looking like there was a huge explosion inside like some kind of fucking cartoon 88 damage The actual shell Cali stabs down into the shell huge explosion of energy Iscar is extremely hearty,

but he is rattled now. You see smoke coming from the inside of a shell. I wasn't expecting that. That's right, that's right. And then I think Saul is in range. I don't know if you used your time. Yes, after Callie's turn, that is Saul's turn. That's right.

Well, first of all, what's your HP like? It's, Kenna really helped me? Are you okay? Are you sure? Because we're right next to a big dangerous turtle. I'm at 36. Okay. Actually, saw before your turn, as you say that, the Kraken is going to attack someone randomly. So has use the fling to fling Jorb. So we're gonna roll to see who their closest to in the initiative with an 18. that is closest to hard one. So it's going to take a swing at hard one, hard one.

You see, as Jorb reaches up to you from the water, let me get back up with the platform, the electricity really hurts, the electricity really hurts. Yeah, I sort of wave my hand lightly just above him. Hard one, you see, as you're taunting Jorb, a tentacle wraps around your ankle and shocks you. Does that supposed to happen? Jorb, do something quick, I can't.

Does 19 damage to you, Hard one? Ooh, I'm not. And you are grappled. Okay. After the legendary action, Saul, that is your turn to act. Okay, so Hard one is grappled now. Hard one is grappled.

Okay, so you see it starting to pull him off the platform. Oh, that makes this much easier I'm going to uncork a potion which I've labeled a colliope petra more I say keep hidden and then I'm going to sprint across the platforms towards hard one and try and just like Punch the suckers of this crack and and try and get it to release them. Yeah, punch it where it's sticking. I'll say you can do the escape DC for him. So if you can do an acrobatics or an athletics check, equal to DC 20 hard one will get loose. I think I want to like try and like squeeze myself in using my like stickiness.

I'm going to live up to my juicy jowster name, and I'm gonna try and like pry him open my big legs. I've been forgetting to jewel. Oh. Yeah, hard one. You are maybe going to be saved in the most disturbing way possible. You see, so I'll get super slick

and then just get in between the tentacles with you and you just hear all of this goo as you guys try to slide out. Don't you have like a grappling hook or something. Always jolly. That's why I love your hard one. Oh my. It's second natural one.

Jesus. Oh no. You have multiple tax, right? Yes, I do. Okay, yeah, you squeeze in and you feel like you're getting stuck with hard one here. Like you're also just grappled. Oh man, this thing's really strong, huh? I feel like there has to be a better way to do this.

I wonder if we can brainstorm for a second. What the, what the shale are you guys doing? You guys sound so squeaky. Do you want to use your whole body? I just, like, someone's making a balloon animal. Use my whole body. What would my butt have to do with this? There we go.

That's a 16 with my acrobatics, that's going to be a 25. Great, you managed to slide in, find a weak point, push out, and with a loud squeak and a crack, do you in a hard one disgustingly plop down to the ground, covered in tentacle juice? Glad that happened in front of an audience. I learned this from Winch,

because this is what a winch does I think. You just hear ooo from the crowd. I lost their goodwill. I pour the um potion into my jewel. Okay uh Callie gets a little bit of health from vaping a potion. That's why they call her the july jowse. Yeah everyone, I forgot my gimmick. You just hear a lot of people say, I remember that. I got so distracted. I thought you saw Joules or something or Joules.

No, different kind of Joules, like you, oh. That's awesome. I'm sorry. People see that is confirmed healthy now. You saw it, feel her, right? But her Joules is powered by Joules. Interesting. Please throw Joules at her. You see everyone her jewel is powered by jewel. Interesting. Please throw jewelry at her.

You see, everyone begins vaping in the crowd. Now that they know for sure it's super healthy. They're fire giants. They're made of vapes. Julin and jet skin. That's what I'm about. Then a hard one, that is your actual turn. Oh, you say.

You plot back down under the platform. Cracking no longer has a hand on you. Help me up. Help me up. Use your action. Help me up. Jorb is use your action, help me up. Jorb is reaching from the water. I step on his hand as I walk.

Ah! The turtle guy. Sorry, my hands are too slippery, I'd help. You know, juice. I'm gonna take two attacks and one of them will be a distracting strike. So the next person to go against Iscar will have advantage. Shit, okay.

That's a net one. I'll use a luck point. That's a net one. I'll use a luck point. That is a 22 hits and a crit base. Yeah, I'll say you guys just figured that figured it out. You just stand on top of this giant dragon turtle and just swing down into the hole. 41 damage. Jesus, okay. He's on death stoop. one damage. Jesus. Okay, he's on death stoop. I was here to raise shell, not go to shell. But since I didn't curse, I won't go to shell. Oh, I'm exactly your game. So it wasn't for that exact reason. I murder people, but I don't, I don't, I don't cuss. Are you super religious? I don't know. What? He's your religion.

Talk to me about your god. Yeah, we got like the whole story from window. I'm not what yours. Is this she'llville? You read last name What are you running from what are you running from I guess I'm running from Not killing people and running towards people. I'd like to kill what about did your parents ever fight sometimes? They fought against other people What about did your parents ever fight sometimes? They fought against other people By running at them really hard as a giant You said the shellville or is it like the devil but for shell correct this guy gets it

I thought it was a small bill record I thought we had more super heroes After hard ones turn We have more super heroes. Excuse me. After Hard One's turn, Iskar's looking fucked up. That is Kraken's turn. Kraken is going to take two cracks randomly. Damn, I should have said that. Jesus Christ. 19 is closest to hard one. So once again, just really wants to grab hard one.

Yeah, Kraken's got it out for me. I feel like I must have done something to a Kraken before. 21. 21. 21 to grab hard one. Yeah, it's crackin's got it out for me. I feel like I must have done something to a crack and be for. 21. 21. 21 to hit hard one. That does. 20 damage as it wraps around your midsection, kind of cracks your ribs.

Then it's going to use its second attack to fling you into the water hard one. As you disappear beneath the surface and take 10 damage as you feel lightning and currents going through you. I can see you. You and Jorp are like flapping around down here in the water freaking out.

We're gonna get out of here, man. We gotta get the fuck outta here. After the crack and turn, that is Jorp's turn. Start of Jorp's turn, he is electrocuted by water. He's truly so injured. He's going to do a strength saving throw to try to pull himself up on the platform. He just barely makes it.

You see a sizzling beyond injured jorb just lays down on the platform next to you guys, Callie and Saul. And that is the end of his turn. After that, that is Kenis turn. Kenis is going to rush over, fly over, do some more flying squirrin, administer a potion to Cali, give her 20 HP, another potion, after healing Cali for 20, is going to go over

to the side of the water and is going to reach into the electrified water and attempt to pull hard one in. Oh, what? All right, I got this, I got this, I got this. You're definitely wearing metal armor, don't do this. Yeah, you see she does take damage, 15 lightning damage. As you see she just digs down and takes a wide stance and reaches out for hard one.

And with a 19 athletics check, manages to grab him and pull him onto the platform as both of you guys just flop over. Wow. Thank you, Kenna. Kenna, that was a very brave. You're a high-flying squire. You need us to like, sign some school paperwork

or something, just let us know. I would appreciate that. After Kenna's turn, that is Iscar Hardshell's turn. I won't at him. What? What the f- He cursed for the first time. What the f-?

Am I misreading, sir? Oh my god, now I'm gonna go to show! You made me curse! He's gonna take- Wait, don't you wanna go to show? Because that's where the show will is? Look, it's complicated. Only 16 to hit on the first attack.

Macy. All the three. Makes a second attack. That is 21 to hit on that one. Macy's because I have a 22 right now for my 82. Thank you so much to my ball day. He grabs you and pulls you in to smash you against his shell, but your armor is so firm that both of you guys

just clang off of each other. I breathe really heavy and say, you wanna smash? What the fuck? What the fucking fuck is your deal? Oh, you're never getting into Shev'n now. I know, it's over. It's over.

Everyone's out spooing now that he started cursing. Wait, you went back on your word! They brought their kids to see you. What's wrong with you? Yeah, you're gonna need a new writing. This is a scene! This is a guy in PG 13! People covering baby fire giants ears. Callie, that's back up to you.

Um, okay. Oh, actually, sorry. At the end of Iskars turn, the Kraken is going to use two legendary actions to attack a random person. Hey. Yikes. On a natural three, closest is Kenna. So Kenna is going to get attacked.

Ooh, hey, take it. You see, as Kenna pulls hard one back, she goes, are you okay, Mr. Shorefoot? Yeah. And then you see a tentacle wraps around her, shocks her and begins to pull her towards the water. Are you okay, Kenna? I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.

Wait, I'm gonna try and use silvery barbs on this. I can't let that good deed go unrepaired. Okay, then the Kraken will resolve. Rear-old. Wow, goes from natural 10, which is a 22 to hit, down to a natural three, which is a 15 hit misses. Nice. So yeah, as Kenna is getting dragged towards the water,

Saul, you stick your tongue out, stab into it, break the grip, and the tentacle retreats back into the water. Get a little slow. Did you just lick that octopus? Saul lifts his hands in and are you not entertained? Booze rain down from the crowd. Those must be for discard, don't worry. He's got such a potty mouth. After discard turn, that is back up to Kelly.

Okay, I'm just going to attack him. Great. Gorgeous. 27 for first attack. Great. Gorgeous. 27 versus 10. Yeah, with help from hard one, hard one is stabbing down into the shell, but then jumps down, slashes the back of his leg, so he kind of bends over, falls over, exposes his head and his neck,

and Cali gets a clean shot. 22 for my second attack. Both hit. And then I'm gonna bonus action, try to hit again. 17. 17 misses. Ah, both hit. And then I'm gonna bonus action, try to hit again. 17. Ah, 17 misses. Okay, hit twice.

I'm gonna do another fucking fourth level, smite. Yes. And then I'm gonna do a third level, smite. Jolly, jolly, jolly, jolly. Jolly, jolly, jolly. Jolly, jolly. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. That is 63 damage.

Callie, finish, Iscar, hard shell, the dragon Callie, finish. Iscar Hard shell the dragon turtleborn. Iscar I'm flattered but this wasn't the time to bring up the hit. What the fuck? It was so unprofessional man. It was also crass. Let's be honest. It was a crass.

It was Rook. Fuck you. Fuck you dragon. It was cracker. It was cracker. It was cracker. It was cracker, fuck you, dragon. It was dragon. It was dragon. It was dragon. It was dragon. It was dragon. It was dragon. It was dragon. It was dragon. It was dragon. It was dragon. It was dragon. It was dragon. It was dragon. It was dragon.

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It's so fun. So, Jorb is still around, so. Jorb is just next to you. That is Solsturm. Okay. How hurt does Jorb look? So hurt. Can I like summon Mauser onto the platform?

Boop, boop, boop. I want to like put Mauser on my fist so that Mauser can punch a jaw. Brad, go ahead and make your attack. He's got five HP left. Justice. You see, looks up through hazy eyes. What the fuck? Is that that freaky little fucking thing?

Ha ha ha. Language. Ha ha ha ha. Yeah, I want really into clean language. Good clean fun now. Keep it jolly, man. Come on. Everyone cheers.

It's murder, but let's make it jolly. 21 to hit hits. There we go. That is 11 damage. Saul finished George. Yeah. I like launch, Mauser with my punch. And I guess Mauser just goes like straight for Taylor.

Taylor. Taylor. concealer. Little, little, little, little. Yeah, man. As he's hit with this mortal blow, tumbles off into the water and disappears into the whirlpool beneath. You guys hear cheers go up through the crowd, just huge eruption of cheers as the the Jolly Jousters have just won.

You guys see the arcane barriers around the arena drop and the water beneath you begins to drain. As you see, the Kraken begins like sort of uselessly snapping. It's tentacles up at you guys, but can no longer reach you as it's being pulled away. I just thank you with my tongue one more time. Hey, I get it. It requires and goes back. The platform beneath you breaks from the ground and begins rising,

levitating towards the center of the arena, and rising you up to about I level with the king in his viewing box. And you hear the MC go up. And winners against all odds. The Jolly Jouster. Actually, O.G. Jolly Jouster. OK, everyone, get on my back quick. Let's do the, let's do the, let's do the,

yeah, we, we suit back up. You guys suit back up. Lapse and sheers throughout the crowd. I really ham up how hard of a time I'm having buttoning the trench because it's like a little slap. Oh, there's too much. Get the hat, get the hat. You guys get the hat on.

The people are cheering all around you guys. You're getting the standing ovation even from some of the nobles in like the nearby boxes. And you see the new King, King Ektar is distracted, just kind of drinking and mingling with his fellow royals, but upon seeing everyone else's excitement and seeing you guys kind of like raise up, stand up and begins clapping performively as he meets your gaze.

And you hear his voice is broadcast with magitech. Small folk, but with a giant fighting spirit, what do we say, Malskirio? And everybody cheers. And even as he's talking to you guys, it is very performative and he's opened up to the crowd the whole time, like barely looking at you guys and he goes, now on this day, my coronation, I will honor any reasonable requests. Tell me, Jolly Jousters, what would you ask of the King of Giants? King Ektar, we know that you cheated in your battle against Jaina Bronzebeard.

We hereby demand that you free her or face us in a trial by steel. And then we play the video. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. You see, let's give the King a hand. I clap the hollow hands together. As you say,

trial of steel to defend your honor, essentially accusing him of acting dishonorably or committing some kind of crime. You hear gasps from the crowd, and Ektar looks taken aback, but before you can even speak, Saul, you slapped together these Magitech bracers and project your memory. The crowd is like gasping and looking at each other and kind of turning on you guys, but very quickly They see this projection of a red

monocolor projection of rictus the giant who you guys had met as he was dying who you helped pass on who had witnessed Echdars deceit and He you watch through Saul's memory. Saul you go into this meditative state and you watch through Saul's memory, Saul you go into this meditative state and recall this connection that you had with Rictus and you guys watch the projection as Rictus explains through pain to breaths that Ektar was losing to Jaina Bronzebeard and used a device designed for the capture capture of the bronze serpent to gain the upper hand. The crowd goes from sort of jeers and gasps to silence and ect our breaks, whatever spell was making him project his voice.

And instead turns and begins speaking with advisors furiously and begins pointing over at you guys to like grab you But then you see Kenna puts her hand on Saul's back Saul you feel A connection to her now and and and feel that you can project her memories as well And she was there and actually witnessed the fight so you see Jaina bronzebeard fighting this one-on-one battle

against Prince Eckdard. You see they're going back and forth, but Jaina is getting the better of him and eventually, bashes him in the gut with her hammer, bringing him down to his knees. You see the two are wrestling, but she's overpowering him. And sweaty and panicked, as he's losing, he reaches for the force cage capsule at his side and opens it. And Jaina disappears in a white flash. And Ekdar is seen clutching the device in his hand at first in disbelief, but then begins celebrating like he won the fight. The nearby dwarves that were part of Jaina's entourage here begin squabbling with the nearby giants,

but many agree that it wasn't a fair fight. You see, Rictus getting in Ektar's face and demanding that the fight continue and a couple of guys on his side and then a couple of Sikha fans that just want to get in with the crown arguing on the other side. Suddenly, the squabble is interrupted by the enormous burrowing serpent, who senses the

nearby violence and flies through to collapse the cave. Rick Dyssencana, our cast-off in one direction, a couple of Rick Dys's allies that were backing him up are crushed instantly, but Ektar manages to escape unharmed with a couple of sick of fans who were defending him and they run off before trying to help anyone else. I strut to the audience and I say, is this your king? As you turn to the crowd and you say this, people begin jeering the king. Shame, shame! Which tyrant is tiny now? Uh, some people laugh and begin shouting and Prince Ektar was a little controversial to start with, but not only is there a vocal contingent of people that see this and are like frothing at the mouth mad about it,

there are also people that are defending him and are screaming for Ektar to take the challenge and kill the small folk. So you, even the people that are against you, still kind of ultimately want the same thing because they're like, Ektar, kill the small folk, show them, show them, show them that's not what happened. Go on, come on, kill us. All we want is a fair fight. Kill us if you think you can. And you see King Ektar once again begins projecting himself and goes this is

Madness Who do you think you are? Small folk winning a hedge knight tournament. You don't even have names and using it to slay. You don't even have honor Kill them who you or or your guy you all you're gonna get someone else to kill us just like I am This is all you had a lot of problems, huh? Yeah, do you want to put us in a cage? You see, he motions to a box of elite looking fire giant knights in Crimson Armor. They step forward to take the command,

but their leader, who has a white plume on the back of her helm, holds her hands up and gestures to some mages nearby, who begin looking like they're doing some kind of scan and stuff on your projection to see if it was like authentic and stuff. You see... I'm Cameron and I've been just to the audience being like, is this the best of you? Is this how you want to be seen on the fucking international stage?

We were so excited to come to Mel Scurril and see the honor of the Giants, but apparently that's nowhere to be found. I squeeze Kelly's hand. If you're afraid, we're three small people. Okay, not one giant. Yeah, the trench coat thing is an act, so you can actually fight the three of us. You see, Ektar turns now sort of desperately towards the crowd that is during him and goes, regardless of how much this footage was doctored, we can

all agree that I won the fight. There's no rule against using the tools in your tool belt, right? She had a hammer. Rule against the tool. What's up with this guy? You're trying to steal our jolly chowster hat. How tenuous is your grasp on Jane of Brons' beard if you're not even willing to risk going up against three small folk to keep her.

As you say that, the Crimson Knight with white plume turns up to Ektar and projects her voice and goes, That device was meant to capture the beast. For all we know, it's still out there. There's only one way to restore your honor, brother. And she gestures to you guys. You see, Ektar looks concerned, turns around, speaks with some of his attendance as the audience continues to cheer him. But you do see amongst the crew up there, you see a small giant, a lanky like Goliath, man, pale and in a red robe, is whispering something to the king. And you see, Ektar seems to take comfort from it, and Ektar finally addresses you guys, but

mostly the crowd and goes, If you insist on me proving myself, even though I think my honor has already been proven, then I will do just that, but it will cost you your lives small folk. We have a new main event for tomorrow's festivities, King Ektar, in all his glory. And you see he raises his hands up and there are cheers from the crowd, there are still some cheers but regardless if people like him or not, people are excited to see the King fight. They're excited for this fight. So there's all these cheers,

and you see that he gives you guys a death stare, turns around, talks to that attendant, and your platform begins lowering, and as you are being ushered out, you see the pale Goliath that was speaking to the king levitates down and approaches you. Congratulations on your victory! King Ektor has requested your presence at tonight's victory feast. How long are the hotdogs? Very long! Can I scan over his shoulder for Ultras? You look over his shoulder and there is no Ultras in sight.

Do I sense Ultras from this pale Glyath? You do not get the sense that this Glyath is Ultras, but you sense that he is somewhere in the area. Your dagger is cold at your side. I think that we should be amongst the people. So you'll be turning down a request from the king on his coronation day. I just want to clarify.

I think what I'm gonna say is, you know what, we have these hollow hands. Why don't we turn this into a bit of a reality show? Why can't we just project everything that happens tonight for the enjoyment of your mess? Yeah, let's get mic'd up. So I'll start following Callie around like a cameraman. Ha ha ha ha.

I keep looking directly into camera and like mugging a little bit. It's just great little kisses. Everything all out in the open. Yeah, okay. We have someone we'd like to bring can I Place one yeah, he's part of our crew you see he looks kind of frustrated and then just walks over and talks to people and goes all Four of you may have one plus one Wow, okay, so get that fire goblin too, okay, I'm gonna go all four of you together get the one plus one. I have it on camera

that you said all four of us get a plug. That's what I said. That is what I said. There's two ways. There's two ways to take that sentence. I'm telling you which way it is. Okay, should we have the public vote on which way they think it was men? We're not going to do that. I look at the camera. I don't even think that's how these devices work. It's not a live feed. I think maybe for you to have used this, you had to spend time putting your memory into it. It's a delay.

We're not live. We're not live. We're not live. You see, Winch makes his way through the crowd and joins you guys. But you do see that this Goliath turns gestures to a couple of guards who gruffly escort you towards the castle and that's where we'll end our session.

Oh, yummy. Going into the castle, like normal dinner. Just a normal one. Ah. And with that, you guys can head on over to our patreon listen. Let's talk about this patreon.com At slash nat pot that's any ddp od don't sing it You better not do it. Don't it guys. You got it. I do what I can't do it. Don't do it. Go Pretty good. This is good. Yeah, okay. Thank you so much. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. We got it. Go, this is good. This is good. This is good. This is good. This is good.

Okay, thank you so much. Okay, okay, okay. We got it, we got it. We got it. And we've got some live shows to plug first off. Thank you for helping us sell out a Carnegie Hall. That was so fast. So incredible.

Thank you so much. We're so excited for that show. And we're so excited for a bunch of other shows that do still have tickets. September 13th, we're gonna be in Minneapolis for Dungeon Court. It's gonna be fun. Madison still have tickets. September 13th, we're gonna be in Minneapolis for Dungeon Court. Madison, Wisconsin, and September 14th. Milwaukee on September 15th.

Chicago for Dungeon Court on September 16th. Yes. And we've got, bring all your messiest story. Bring your messy stories. Los Angeles on October 26th for Dungeon Court Live. Surfset. Oh, sure.

October 27th will be in Denver. October 26th. Yeah, ski, ski, ski. October 27th will be in Denver, October 28th. He's up. He's up. October 28th will be in Sacramento. October 29th. Why don't we go to South? Everyone's up. 29th will be in Portland, but that's sold out.

Nice. Keep words up. November 10th will be in Las Vegas. November 14th will be in New Orleans. November 15th will be in Orlando. And finally, we'll be landing it out with Dungeon Court in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, on November 17th. You powered through all those,

so Coldwell couldn't say anything. Yes, I sure did. Yep, yep, yep, yep, you got me. And with that, we're gonna go ahead and wrap this one up. Thank you all so much for listening. You can follow us on social media there, maybe right now, use Etsy at Hershmeat, at Coldwool, at the Extra Demole,

and at your girl, which is Jake. And you can tweet about the show using hashtag, madpod, this anyDDPOD. We're the, we are, we this NADDDPOD. We're the U of the Nation, we're the nation, we're the nation. We're the nation. Well, well, well, would you look at that? It's time to thank our benevolent counsel of elders, and are. Brad D. Jeffrey S. Lord of the Fjord QC later Mick Skater Matt M. Cutter W. Fierd L. Daniel G. Katie G. Dungeon Mama okay maybe a little bit sexual. Daniel Dastardly Dame, Beardman Dan, Danny P. Vincent W. Victor T.

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Funier, bow chick a wow, wow, Derek D, Tristan the talentless hunk, Leon K, legendary hero of Bahumia from a future campaign can't wait to meet you. Meos the great Alex K, Joshua P, Joshua S, Alexander, Lins W, Angel, La Pamela, Sandra, Rita as this continues, you know he's getting sweeta. I see. Emma S. Red, the reforged, warforged, the godly king, a cat casually basking in the sun and enjoying the soothing sounds of NADPOT. Hard one's hot hump gunk shall be yes that singer from Sprite Girls and is heading this year's Fairy Fire Festival. Okay, Stalebred on Salad aka Kruton Jackson R T3R HX Michelle Andrew S Nova B the Death

Corps Bard, Kaitlyn D Z Borg Blake H Big Bev's Bestie, Lloyd the Rat that controls my Serid Bellum Opa Remi from Ratatouille style. Shelby C, Pop-O, Skydays, Mima Skydays, Tommy, W, Mike and Lisa, excitedly scoring tickets for all of NADPods midwest tour can't wait to see you all amazing. Haley the Human, Lord Damon, Duke of the Dungeon, Megan and the Big M, John F. the Dicelander, Stephanie of House and Zunza, Jake's ramen shop, Tracy P, Cargis, Benjamin A, and sacrificial Otaku pen name for Cali's cousin who discovered anime and is trying to spread the word all over Bahumia. Thank you, everybody.

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