Not Another D&D Podcast - C3 Ep. 43: Blood and Wine (Legends of Irondeep)

Episode Date: September 8, 2023

Duck Team tries to survive a dinner party with King Ecktar and his mysterious new allies! Callie starts court gossip, Sol chugs free wine, and Hardwon gets some new jewelry. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content! Get tickets to our upcoming live shows at naddpod.com/live.Music/Sound Effects Include:"Glass Smashing" by InspectorJ at Freesound.org."A Wizard Tournament" by Emily Axford."Implicated" by Emily Axford. "Angels and Devils" by Emily Axford."The Baron's Estate" by Emily Axford. "Forsaken" by Emily Axford. "A Memory" by Emily Axford. "Shadowfell" by Emily Axford. "Left is Left, Right is Center" by Emily Axford. "Spooky Shafts" by Emily Axford. "Bonkginya, Fia Bonkginya" by Emily Axford. "Illsed" by Emily Axford."The Montgomerys" by Emily Axford. "Malscurial" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What's up, mad Poles, it's Murf here to remind you about our Midwest tour coming up very soon. We're going to be in Minneapolis on September 13th for Dungeon Court Live, Madison on September 14th for an actual play show, DM'd by your favorite, Donkel Caldwell. I will be taking the reins for an actual play show in Milwaukee on September 15th and we'll be rounding it out with Dungeon Court in Chicago on September 16th. Each show will be different. The Dungeon Court cases will be fresh.

Madison is DM'd by called well and you can come see the band of boobs in Milwaukee DM'd by me. Come to one show, come to two, come to three, or hey, come to all four and have a jam barrain with us, you can get your tickets at nadpod.com slash live, that's nadpod.com slash live, get your tickets, no. Welcome to the campaign after the campaign, this is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Bahumi everybody. Bahumiya.

I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy joined by Jake Hurwitz. Hard one, sure foot. Emily Axford. Tees in a taunt to Wendell Restaurant. Oh, I forgot that happened. I forgot he got a name. As did I. You know, you guys doing all the hard work, as per usual.

Yeah. Sometimes the name's on the sheet. Sometimes the name's in your heart. Yeah, that's right. And then of course, we've got Carl Bull Tanner. Oh, Jolly Jousting Frogger giving giant jobbers the Kali Wobbles. It's Saul Bufo.

Ooh. Kali Wobbles.'s Saul Bufo. Ooh. Kali wobbles. It means an upset stomach. Okay. Very nice. Because they're afraid of me now. There we go. Kali wobbles.

Yeah. When you said Kali wobbles, I wasn't sure whether to make fun of you or not, because I thought you were doing maybe a weird rhyme and making up a word, but then I thought Murphy, that's probably a real word, and you're the one who's stupid.

You shouldn't make fun of them. And I'm glad I refrain. Boomer, you fool, don't you understand? We're both stupid for different reasons. There's space for both of you to become, for sure. We're both. No. With that, let's go ahead and do a recap

of all of us being very dumb from last episode. Wow. So last time you competed against a crew of hedge knights in the Giant King's contest facing off against such fighters as the original Jolly Jouster, Iscar Hard Shell, the dragon total born and Jorb. Kali utilized liquor issues levitate ability to navigate the electrified waves of the battlefield and deal massive damage to her foes. Well Saul used his frog jumps to knock flying enemies out of the air and keep his allies alive.

Hard one and Kenna saved each other from various environmental challenges and the two managed to distract Isgar long enough for Saul and Cali to finish off the Jolly Jouster. After defeating Isgar together, you killed the last remaining contestant, Jorb, and were declared the winners. I straight up forgot about him. I had him crossed out when he was at 10 HP in the electrified water, and I forgot about her dude. I had to be reminded of the fighter.

Yeah, sort of. After the battle, you were given a platform to address the king and you used it to question his honor in front of the entire arena, using both Saul and Kenna's memories. You projected a vision of King Ektar's cowardice during his fight with Jaina Bronzebeard, calling the results of the duel into question. You challenged him to a trial by steel and were denied at first, but he was swayed by the jeering crowd and a crimson knight who stopped her soldiers from attacking you.

After Ektar spoke to a mysterious Goliath attendant, he agreed to your terms and addressed the crowd, promising an exciting main event for tomorrow night. As you prepared to leave the arena, you were approached by the Goliath attendant to invited you to a victory feast by order of the King. He implied that denying the request during the coronation could damage your reputation, you agreed and asked for a plus one, and after an argument, you narrowed it down to just a winch

who joined you as you were escorted to the castle, and that's where we are now. But actually, I'm a spoke, we aren't quite there right now. We are actually going to first cut over to our friends called our Kill Day and Jane of Bronzebeard. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. So get that called a Kill Day voice warm.

Oh, okay. Hold on, let me spoke about cigarettes. There you go. So this is not happening concurrently with the tournament. This could be a day or two ago. This could be a little bit in the future. Time is nebulous here on this icy plane. And Calder, you find yourself in your familiar prison.

This frozen tundra, the only advantage to time at being so strange here is that you've been getting a serious workout and a lot of indirect training for one of the best fighters in Bahumia, general, Jaina Bronzebeard. So the two of you have been trying to break down the arcane barriers to make your escape. And much to your amazement, you have made some progress. Each time you break a barrier, you get a little further, but a new one always pops up and shoots you back to where you started. You see, Jaina loads her giant hammer up onto her shoulder as she pants between breaths. Okay, the barriers seem like they're getting weaker as we get deeper, so it stands to reason that at some point point there has to be an end to them

Hi, I general all right, so speed might be more important than power in this instance Can you try the ice skate thing again? Whatever that was What yeah Call their unbuttances jacket Calls his ice skates does a full axle It starts chomping away at the barriers. Sweet, yeah, Calder, you do your expeditious retreat. You grow blades at the bottom of your boots. Jaina loads up her hammer onto her shoulder,

and she goes, okay, ready? Strike in three, two, one, go! Yeah! You strike against the arcane barrier with your great sword, causing cold damage to a small area of it. As the barrier spider webs like cracked ice, Jaina slams it, a split second later with her white hot hammer in the barrier shatters before beginning to reform. Go, go to the next one, to the next one!

Alright, let's do it. You jump through a small window and Jaina follows behind you as you roll yourself ahead, you see another purple barrier appears out of thin air and thrumps with energy. Remember what we practiced, throw the sword and call it back. I boomerang the sword, calling it right back to my hilt. You see, the one that was appearing right in front of you is just in the process of appearing.

So you throwing it causes it to shatter before it can fully form. You're able to call it back and make a new melee attack, just as the next barrier pops up, once again spiderwebbing it, and Jaina does the same thing throws her hammer behind and shatters that one. I'm just speed skating like Apollo Ono right now, and on the ground doing graceful turns. Yeah, you are way faster than Jaina, so if anything, you might have to get out of here first and kind of figure out a way to help her out.

But you get past this next barrier and you rush ahead. You are going fast enough that you might be able to make it to the last barrier before it even forms. There's a window here, but as you leap through the gap, you are suddenly repelled back by a fully repaired arcane barrier.

You slam into it like a brick wall, and there's a magical reverberation that sends you and Gina dozens of feet back, slamming into the snow back to where you started. As you land back there, go ahead and give me a perception check. 21, 21. You clocked what happened even before you were blown back. So you looked up and you saw that normally

when these barriers pop up and deflect you back, it's normally just because your timing was off for a split second and you weren't able to get there in time for it to be weekend or It was starting to form and you weren't able to jump through the window in time But this one appeared Immediately strong immediately a full arcane wall it was unusual and you saw hands up on the other side of it Like someone cast a spell to keep you in there. And when you look up, you see that on the other side

of the arcane barrier, there is a mage in a dark red robe holding his hands up and powering the shield. After he's done this to kind of keep you in, you see that five more acolytes appear in view, doing the same thing, reinforcing the shield. And with an over 20 perception check, you can clock from here that they are almost the exact same height as you. They look like they're goliaths. You see they're wearing dark red robes with a symbol stitched into the side of their cloaks

that feature a knife through an eye. And they also have necklaces with pendants that look off white. From here, it looks like it could be snow or opal or bone or something like that. These small little white pieces as they appear and begin reinforcing the shield you hear they're humming a strange incantation. Jaina kind of takes her hammer and frustratingly slams it into the new barrier in front of you guys. I heard the same thing when I was brought here

from the force cage capsule. There's some kind of arcane jailers. They must be helping Ultras keep us at bake because we're getting too close. They're working against us from the outside. And with that, we are going to cut back over to our party as they are being escorted out of the Colosseum. So we are back with Callie, Saul, and Hard One.

You have just been joined by Winch. You guys are flanked by two of the King's soldiers and followed by this strange Goliath Mage in a red robe who leads you out of the arena. Follow us, sad, to the castle. Of course, and what did you say your name was? My name is Lazar. Nice to meet you.

Yes. I'm going to make a big show of it. Oh, you're taking us to dinner. So if we're, say, food poisoning tomorrow, that'd probably be on your shoulders. Um. It, Kallik, can you get that towards camera? It's not camera. I'm going to make that very clear.

I said this last night. No, but I'm doing it to to make that very clear. I said this last episode. I'm doing it to the people that are wrapped were in a crowd. Yes, there's no game quarters world. All the way in the world like that. Nope, nope, they sure don't. That was a projector based on an item that used the tech of an Artificer genius in his lab

through several hours of like a short rest worth of work. I'm just picturing Winch telling me all this as we're walking. It's not okay, God, it's not what it is. Understood, you gotta try. You guys are brought outside of the Colosseum, but you are still within the castle walls. You see a majority of the crowd is heading out,

this mob of spectators, a lot of whom, as you guys are being brought out, are shouting to you guys and cheering for you guys. Jolly Jousters! Now there's the real Jolly Jousters! Yeah! No jeez, stay Jolly folks! That's right!

Yeah! Stay Jolly! Holly Jolly! Kick giggling everybody! Holly Jolly Jousters! What? Have Holly Jolly Joustmiss. What? Holy Jolly Joustmiss. It's all hops over and kisses a giant baby.

Hey, grabs me. Gally, you guys do see that the mob of spectators are leaving the castle walls, but there are a number of nobles and knights who stay behind, some are heading to the castle, others are heading to other places within the walls. This is, you know, coronation, celebration, a core celebration over several days. So there's several days of fighting, several days of feasting, all of this. Can we, can we change our outfits if we're going to be invited to dinner? I frankly, I'm still dressed as a clown and I'm concerned.

Of course, of course, we were gonna give you a room for you to clean up and whatnot. Okay, great, yeah. Yeah, well, I mean, I don't need to clean up, I just need to change, but yeah. I'm just gonna directly ask you, yes. Is this an attempt to poison us or manipulate us for tomorrow?

Of course not, that would be uncouth. Can I do an insight check? Sure. Yeah, sure. Check his coothness level. 12. You can't tell his coothness level. He is.

It would be uncouth, we know that. You're too coothed for school. He is some kind of politician, certainly, and just keeps a straight face and is just leading you guys along. So you guys are brought up to the archway of this black iron keep. It is massive. Everything is to giant scale. So the tip of the arch is like 40 feet overhead. The tall spires of the towers and stuff shoot up 100 feet above that. And you guys are taken inside and see all around you massive columns with statues

and artwork featuring Ekdar's family, King Ekdar's family. You see the king and the queen that were his parents, Queen Farah and King Rallos I. You see a portrait of his older, recently deceased brother Rallos who looks like a quite capable warrior, maybe a little bit more decorated and celebrated than Echdar, even though he was king for a very short time, and then a very prominent picture of Echdar, like oiled up and looking super buff, and just like standing posed over a bunch of thwarted enemies that have clearly been paid to pose there. Do I see any sculptures or paintings of Ariox?

Go ahead and give me a perception check. 11. 11. You don't see anything dedicated to Ariox, and you don't really see anything outside of this family. You do see that their name is Muse Pilar. The family name is Muse Pilar, the family name is Muse Pilar. Muse Pilar.

And you also see in some of the older photos and some of the older paintings between the older brother Rallos and the younger brother Ektar, there is a stocky young girl that looks to be like a middle child that is only featured in some of the paintings. Is she the one who was the heads of that army? You see, Winch goes, she's the Lord Commander of the Crimson Knights, they're pretty tough. And

almost on cue, you see a trio of Crimson Knights enter the Great Hall. These red armored giants. They wear these intimidating bucket helms with a visor that covers their eyes, and you see the Knight with the White Plume marches over to you guys. Grabbs. All three of you and Kenna. Two in one hand. I wasn't laughing at the oil painting.

I was just looking at it. I didn't giggle at all. Two in the other hand. Mark, maybe. That's not by a man. I'll push you guys up against the wall. And you hear as she speaks, her voice is modulated by some kind of device that projects it through the thick hell.

And you hear, she says, loud enough for everyone in the hall to hear The next time you want to challenge a giant to a trial of steel do it without whooping it up to the crowd or Questioning our honor as a whole if we had no honor you'd have been dead the moment you opened your full mouths dead the moment you opened your full mouths. Is that what kept us alive? Not a very public nature of the accusation. She pulls you guys in out of earshot from everyone else. They need you alive for appearances but they'll try to weaken you however they can. The real battle begins now. And you see she tosses you guys onto the floor and walks off.

Ow, she beat me! What the fuck? That's not true, I couldn't possibly, my family came from here and close and beat me. Yeah, through the helm, which was insane. It's family, I swear. Through the helm. She's got an ant eater mouth. see Lazar hold to Santa Lord Commander Mauregan

Fighting our guests Lord Commander Mauregan it was Mauregan. She is spirited to say the least okay She's just heated because our honor was challenged we understand yeah, yeah, we have an understanding I wink at her I guess we've made quite a few enemies today. I make chop gestures back at her. Eazy, she puts her hand on her head. It looks like she immediately regrets anything she just did. I'm moderately laughing about being bitten.

I know everybody likes clowns, but not for dinner. You see someone else is giggling nearby, so Morrigan has to play into it. You see she just grabs him and bites him. Ah! Oh my gosh! Is she always done that? The Lord Commander beat me!

Okay, so many uses the app. This is Ty thing, does no one know that? Someone uses the out dinner because this It's hungry. I'm so bad. We at least get some rolls out. I mean my gosh You see look at me working walks off biting anyone who's snickering Sal starts bandaging cow it was bizarre. It was bizarre. Look, he left a mark. I'm lying to the point where I forget I'm lying. How do you think you were banned?

It was absurd. Yeah, Kenna believes you. Oh my God, are you okay? Kenna, do you have a bass at Tracin? I think I buy it. I need a tennis shot. She starts digging through her bag. I've got to deal with Spora, do you think that'll help?

I need a tennis shot. Okay. I say I need a tennis shot. I don't need me a Spora. I've got a bit. You see? I need a tennis shop. Okay. I say I need a tennis shop. I don't need me as Boran. I'm going to be it. You see? I'm going to be it me. You see, Lizard?

We're not going to dinner until my girl gets in a warm bath. Soaks this wound. No, no, no. You can certainly take a bath if you'd like. Let me show you to you. I'd like an hot-salt bath for my friend here. I'm so sorry that you were bitten I can't speak out. Rageus we need more to match it

Yeah, what is this? I'm a skeeto infestation here. I mean come on I need a technician supreme healing at the least very well lighting Christ Bringsie down a side all way I keep on muttering. What is this preschool? I'm sorry Some seem invasive you hear real you hear Lord Commander Morgan just screaming at her nights Just taking it out on people Can't help it if it sure it's on sanitary Childish child. I can't believe that happens. That's crazy. We've been through a lot We have been through a lot. We have been through a lot.

Yeah. We've been through a lot, but that was the weirdest event by far. I'm so sorry. And as he's so fucking lucky that I turned the other cheek and bite back. You should be protected. Yes. You see, I'm going to bite. Lazar brings you. I was killed by vampires once. Anyway, sorry. Go ahead, Lazar. Lazar brings you to a guest room. And you guys see, opens the door,

you guys see an enormous bed, a small fireplace, and a window overlooking the fiery landscape below. Take some time, heal from your terrible bite. Oh, sorry about that. You just, I said, you put it in the place where she's moving. I don't know that I deserve it. Do you have an ace bandage? I think we need to bandage this thing.

We're gonna need some derma blast. We could definitely go get some bandages, but take some time, clean yourselves up, and we'll see you in a bit at the feast. And you see, he goes to turn around, and as he does, everybody give me perception checks. Ooh, Nat20. 12.

18. Inspired. And far too inspiration from that performance. he does, everybody give me perception checks. Oh, Nat20. 12. 18. Inspired. And for our inspiration from that performance. A coliope fully believes herself. She got bit. Method.

With a Nat20, I'm going to give you a lot. So give it to me. As he turns around, you see that his cloak kind of swishes. Hard one, you recognize this within 18, a knife going through an eye, that symbol, and that is the symbol of Grumsch and his acolytes, the war god Grumsch. I stop dead in my tracks. He closes the door behind him and Saul, you clock that as he's turning out from under

his robe and necklace swings, and you see there's a little pendant on it You clock at first you're like white stone, but you're like it's a little off-white But it's not it's not shiny or fleckty enough to be like a pearl or anything like that Edgel maybe and you flash back to Ultras' helm and Ultras is Helm. Mmm, and... Antler?

It looks like an antler, some kind of piece of it. Piece of an antler. Okay, he was also wearing this match socks. I don't know if you clocked that. I thought it was interesting. Red and green, and it's not even... It's not even Jolly must yet. Jostis?

Jostis? Yeah, Jostis. He's keeping it Holly Jolly though, and I do appreciate that. But some concerning artifacts on Lazar, I don't know if you saw. Yeah, and that symbol, that's the symbol of Grumsch. OK, I know nothing of Grumsch. What is Grumsch about?

What does he mean? I mean, it sounds like there's something happening in the astral plane with him. What does he mean? I mean, it sounds like there's something happening in the astral plane with him. What does he mean to you? Or chaos, destruction. Really? Violence. Have I?

Needless violence. Have I ever encountered anyone else who follows Grumsh? Yeah, so hard one. I would say you would know that Grumsh right now inspired by events from the first campaign, Grumpsh from The Allis Actions has learned that you can steal divine hearts and empower yourself. So he has been going, he has been planes walking,

going from plane to plane, either successfully killing and stealing divine hearts from gods or attempting to. Right now he is on isgard trying to kill Cord who is who is the god of isgard who is another god of war and as you guys are talking about that as you're relaying that Winch actually speaks up it actually Make sense that if if Grimsch was going around and trying to steal divine hearts from people

that one of the first gods he would go after would be Cored, we call Cored the All-Father. So who you know as Cored, he is a god to the Giants as well, but we call him the All-Father. But there is some matter of disagreements among some factions of giants who think that were actually descendants of a different God of War, Grumpch. And I think you guys would know and solve, you would know from your time at the Academy, Cali from like hearing stories from your mother and things like that, and hard one just from your experience on the Astral Plane in the last 200 years. The difference between kind of cord and grumpch

is like cord is a God of war in the way of like be mighty and heroic and win the day. Glory. I mean cord would probably dictate a lot of the honor and fight. Exactly. So that's like the honor and fighting and everything. Not, you know, good or bad necessarily.

But in terms of like where this giant faction got that I just wanted to go. And Grumpch, Grumpch is like conquering violence. That kind of side of it. Kill destroy, submit. Exactly. So why would he go after court? Is it because they have similar followers

and if he can poach all of his followers, then he can weaken court? Is it because they have similar followers and if he can poach all of his followers then he can Weak and court it could just be collateral damage He's just collecting divine hearts, but it would also mean that he he would take over the entire domain of war essentially hard one What are these divine hearts? I've never even like heard of this Okay, well And like, how's it this? Okay, well, the divine hearts are what make gods so powerful in Bohemia.

Yes, divine hearts are basically concentrated magic. Every humanoid has a little bit of magic that lets them cast spells and stuff, but gods have like an actual rock of it in them. I see. Okay, so this is a little bigger than just Ultras. It would seem, I mean, Ultras is acting as an agent of Grumps and some way. His helm was given to him by Grumps. Yeah.

So it might have access to Grumps somehow. And he, here he has like infiltrated these giants and is making them war more dishonorably. Yeah. Conquering. It's all connected. What, what we're dealing with in the astral plane and what we're dealing with here now, maybe on a smaller scale, but it's all connected. What's that saying? Like acid is above so below something like that. That means, yeah, okay. And hard one, you know that often gods are powerful enough to send avatars of themselves instead of fighting on their own.

Like killing Grumptious Tuff, killing any god is really tough because often you're just fighting against astral projections of them that are almost as powerful as them and you're kind of reading between the lines here and Ultras will probably not as powerful as an avatar of the God himself is kind of acting as one on the material plane as like kind of a loophole because gods aren't allowed to directly act on the plane. He's like a giant agent. I see. Is Grumpsch evil?

Like would it be? Hard one to kill. He killed Cobb. I have divine sense and it can help me detect evil and goods but a lot of times we're working with things that aren't as simple as that. If this is as simple as that then I could could maybe be walking around, sussing out, who is a follower of grooms. I don't know if it works like that. He's evil to me. I can tell you that.

I guess this entire time we knew Ultras when we just knew that he was evil and wanted to conquer, but I don't think I realized that it was in service of something bigger. Do you think that that's why he wants Jaina and Calder? Is there some sort of plan there? I don't know. Well, in the stories that I've heard and in the research I've done, groups, one of the things that made him formidable, besides just being a god, made him able to fight other gods and beat them oftentimes, is he's able to absorb

and to learn the skills of others. Okay, so maybe he's learning their skills. I- It's conquering our most powerful allies. He's only getting more powerful as he goes. You know, would you say that Jaina has a lot of skills? Yes. Yeah, a lot.

Really, but you see, she starts pacing her out. Okay, so it's more mechanical than I thought it was just like, okay, we are kidnapping Jaina and this is us becoming a conquering force in Iron Deep, not just antagonistic, but it's more like he's learning her skills. It could be both, I think they're playing the political situation between the fire giants and the dwarves of Iron Deep to their advantage. I mean, any war is good war for Grumshim sure. Yeah, these, these Goliath guys that are walking around with eyes with knives through

them are new. So I think there's a good chance that Ektar is just playing the short game, thinking he's just going to be King of the Mountain or King of the World, whatever, and Ultras is just playing them like a fiddle. Yeah, I mean, that, that seems pretty apparent. And Calder's like a really good artist, so like Grumsch's gonna get that ability too. Oh fuck.

Yeah, and that's like, she's gonna be a fucking double-fresh. Oh shit, it's gonna be able to doodle. She's gonna be able to doodle and conquer. I'd love to see some of his works sometimes. I fish around in my pockets for something that Calder is drawn. What do you think a colder would have doodled Jake?

Maybe a big blue Clyde'sdale. See, as soon as Kenna sees the beautiful blue horse, she gasps, and then starts pacing harder, knowing that Ultras can now doodle that well. He could paint his own victory murals. This is gonna be bad. It's definitely not bad. I'm more of a tasteful artistic nude's got myself, but I like horses.

I love a nude. You know what? I think I'm gonna case the room and see if we're being spied on, see, I mean, there's nothing innocent about the situation. Correct. And I couldn't suss anything out with an insight check, so I'm just gonna manually go around

and look for every way in which this room is trying to kill us, harm us, hold us back. So then we can look at porn freely. Gotcha. Go ahead and give me a perception or investigation checks. 15. 16. 13.

Okay, with a 16 above a 15, you know they had to try. You see in one of the war droves, there is like a wire connected to the bottom of it that is connected to some kind of magi-tech device that you can imagine is probably recording you. I eat it. You grab it and you eat it. Hey, don't hog everything.

You hear your own voices, start coming back out of Saul, if you're coming burps. Wow, this is weird. Ah! All right, well, I guess I'll take a bath. Sweet, yeah. Yeah, another uncomfortable dinner. Yeah, you can make sure that the water is poisoned, right?

Yeah, I only have one first level spell left, and I feel like I need to save that for dinner. Oh, right, yeah. So. I'll drink the water to make sure. Yeah, I'll just... You wanna have one first level spell? Let me do a key transfer. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Charge it up. You put your palm out, you spread some spores and you guys connect and Calliou gain a little bit of arcane knowledge back. Yeah. I have sixane knowledge back. Yeah. I have six key points back. I think you said it would one has seen me do this yet, so I warned him. This is gonna look weird, and then I just sock Kali in the gut.

And I smile blissfully as mushrooms crawl up my face. Well, come on, she just got bit. As you guys take your short rest and everything, uh, winch goes. By the way, the Lord Commander Morgan is the King's half-sister. Oh, she's, uh, the middle child younger than the last King, but older than Echtar. She doesn't have as much of a claim to the throne because she's a product of one of the... our old King's dalliances. What were the rumblings?

Was there any talk of her wanting the throne? our old King's dalliances. What were the rumblings? Was there any talk of her wanting the throne? I'm sure there were. I know that her father sort of made her part of the royal guard to avoid having to pass any titles long to her, but that's also kind of given her control of an elite squad of knights that the city watch are afraid of.

And she seems like she's on the level aside from the biting, which I hope she can outgrow that. Yeah. Yeah. Just be clear, did she, are we saying you got bit? Honestly, I don't know. I don't know anymore. I don't know. I commit it so hard.

I don't know anymore. Well, I don't know if you can fully trust anyone here. She has selfish needs that could be exploited. Yeah. What? This is maybe a personal question that you might not know the answer to, but what happened to her mother? She's still around? No, she passed. Okay. Her parents were quite old. Okay. Yeah. So just like a hot side affair. I don't know how hot the affair was. Right.

Can you like describe what happened? No, I had no idea. Okay. They don't, they normally don't just walk up to artificers and tell them who the king fucked. Really? You have like no gossip magazines. No, no.

Wow. No camcorders, no gossip magazines. Very honorable. Very honorable. It's unfortunate. Which is like something to watch during our short rest. Which we are going into hostile territory. Yeah, please.

Do you have any sort of like spy gadgetry that we can use? Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh. Ah, you see, Mauser wheels up. Hey. I didn't bring much with me, but I got a little Mauser here. Boop, boop, boop. What come house it to? Mauser, what can you do?

Boop, boop, boop. Starts wheeling around. Boop, he can dance. Yeah, no, he can. You're very neat. You are very cool. Mauser starts wheeling around. I dance with him.

I dance with him. I don't really know what this is. This is what he's saying. I think he's trying to see he's going around in circles. He's trying to say that he could look around and search things. He's got a camera. You see, he has a camera.

Winch pulls out a little device that can show like a live feed that's not recording, but is showing like what's going on. Like you can see through his eyes. It's, yeah, I see. I see, I see. It's beautiful. And when he talks, we can all understand him, like R2D2, right?

I can, but you guys haven't spent enough time with it, I understand. What is that he's saying? What is he saying? He's saying, I'm not dancing, I'm showing you that I can sneak around. How can you ask me sneaking? That's gonna be, this is me sneaking.

I recognize he was not dancing then, but can you, okay, fine. Mouser, can you dance? Buh, buh, buh,buh-buh-buh. Bowser goes around circles doing the exact thing. That's doing the exact same thing. Now it's a party. All right, you can dance,

but can you break it down, Bowser? Come on. Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh- He's explaining that he can and he's sad that he can. He's explaining that he can and he's sad that he can. Hard one starts doing the macarena. He's all those Russian high kick and kicks himself on the face. So is there anything else they give you like an hour to get ready? Is there anything else you guys think you need to do here? I mean, is anyone gonna get in this tub?

It's the water's getting tipped. Well, we should do some tub strategizing at the very least. It's all hops in. Yeah. You see that there's a little like dividers between a few tubs here. I think you guys can take turns.

And can it leave? Where's the mouser? Can you blow bubbles? Make this thing into coosier wet. Mouser begins to malfunction as soon as he touches the water. Wait, no. Everyone just stopped talking about her. You shouldn't have told us that he could talk back.

Great, yeah, you guys take a little time. You take a bath, it is temperature controlled in here, but you do feel kind of intense heat wafting in here as soon as you guys have your suits off. Oh, right. Yeah, we don't want to burn alive. Yeah, we're going to want to keep the suits on. Do we think that's an angle?

How do we keep these suits on us? Because they're going to try to use this against us. This is a vulnerability that I would exploit. Almost certain. I guess we just have to avoid getting caught. Right. Well, I will say something that's been going on with my body. I say as we all sit in a tub together. We're all holding our suits by the way.

We're not like keeping them out of the ice. Well, Ken is not in the tub. Ken is just keeping watch. Ken is just in the corner looking away, looking at the suits. A bod suit watch. Great. You remember all of those sliders

and potatoes skins we had, back and iron deep? I normally, that makes me feel really gross and queasy. But like I didn't feel anything. I think that like one of the side effects of all of the monk training I've been undergoing between swag and frog sun, I don't think I can be poisoned anymore. So like if we need to test something

or if we need to like make them think that they poisoned us, I can maybe be like the fall guy. Yeah, we've got like a cup boy. Yeah a cup frog. Yeah Amazing well, but then you wouldn't know if it's poison, right? So what we need is It's a two-step plan you can do you can do a perception check I think you could tell if something was poison. But what if we all just lick salt? We could absorb some of your anti-poison. Then you would just be a little bit poisoned.

Uh-huh. I mean, yeah, it's worth a shot. I mean, look, we still have a poison bile, but I'm also feeling like we're not in a position that we can be sneaky. But I think we should have it on the ready. I'm going to right before we go summon my unseen serpent and we'll just kind of have that. Cool. Go on about. I think if we can like determine if it's poisoned and

then I'll drink it so that they think that we're all getting poisoned slowly and then Cali, you can give me some acting tips on how to look really poisoned and hurt. Oh sure, yeah. I mean, I've got purified food and drink, and I'm gonna ritual cast unseen serpent, so I'll have like two purified food and drinks. Okay, great. Two opportunities for us to not be poisoned. Right. If you want a prompt,

what if we just go in, you're really hungry, where not? Yeah, that's great. Right. Okay, I'll say, is there like food in this room? They probably put out some food for us. I'll say they filled up an almonds.

Yeah, there's some ch-coudry out here We'll say we lost our appetite when Cali was bitten by the Lord Commander of the Crimson Walk Once I became food, I'm starting to reconsider eating Yeah, and how it just feels really savage it is. Yeah, you see Kena just shakes her head in the corner, just staring at the suits and just going, I resolve to destroy Lord Khabad Dhrbhurakin for biting you, Ms. Petricore. Thank you. Thank you.

It was just so shocking. Yeah, I think we just have to keep our heads on a swivel and maybe only one of us tries every different thing. So there's never all three of us eating, drinking, drinking. I think it's basically like you and me, we can be poisoned, so we choose only two times, and I cast purify food and drink on it. And Saul can just go fucking nuts. How about this? Oh boy, I'm so hungry.

How's that sound? It's great. It's amazing. It's really good. Oh, that's perfect. And then I'll be like, oh, you'm so hungry. How's that sound? It's great. It's amazing. It's really good. Oh, that's perfect. And then I'll be like, oh, you can have mine. You eat my food. Yeah, yeah.

The only issue is that I'm actually very, very hungry. That is a good point. I ruffle around for some old hot dog. Oh, yeah, you got some hot dog. That was in your pocket that somehow ends up in the bag. I find it. I find it I find it, but just hold it in there Yeah, I mean I still smell hot dog from the bags

It's cooked in the tub. Yes, it's just a smell that lingers or something. Yeah, I think what out So hard when it sits on the ground like a really good little boy Yeah, smacks his lips. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, fine, I feed him a hot dog. All right. You mean a chunk of hot dog from the bathtub? Hard one dives into the tub after the dog.

Bath tub water, boiled hot dog. So yeah, you guys soup back up, get out of the bath, soup up, then we soup up. Yeah, I mean, is that anything tricky we can do, it feels like anything tricky we try, we'll just come back on us, worse. I think, yeah, we want to be kind of like on the path of good and noble,

because like they're gonna be looking for an opportunity for us to trip up and kind of like debase ourselves. Yeah, exactly. You guys already got what you wanted, which is a fight with the king. Okay. Anything else is just gonna trip you up. You can't get more than that, really.

Okay, Mauser, we are going to need you to be going around sort of like spying for us. Okay. Okay, I caught that last word. That last word was definitely yes. Two beeps, I think is yes. All right. I'm starting to get it.

Wait. He beeped again. So after a short rest and taking some time here, you guys hear a knock at the door and you see a Lazar cracks it open. We're ready for you. Good, because I'm so hungry. Did your voice get deeper? What? Did your voice get deeper? What?

Did your voice get deeper? No way man, I always sound like this, especially when I'm hungry. It might be because this stomach is so empty that it's just like an echoing cathode. Interesting. Yeah, and I had a big lunch, a really big lunch. Really?

And I'm really traumatized, traumatized by it. Right. I'm so sorry that happened to you. I'm really sorry. I can you. I'm really sorry. I can't. I feel like it's my, one of my responsibilities as the arc mage of the castles and let anyone get bitten. I can't help but you.

Really? That's one of your responsibilities. Here are the rules. Keep wards and guardians up around the castle. Advise the king on all matters arcane make sure no one gets bitten Yeah, I can't say we've we've been to we've been to a lot of castles and this is literally never happened before Okay, that's made me feel a lot of that dragon did bite us in that castle. I don't have that counts though Doesn't it does

Seems like it should count. No. All right, let's, let's, anyway, I think some no biting signs could go along. Perfect. Yeah, you see, Lizar and a couple of nights, lead you guys out of the room.

As for walking, I think I'm gonna, I think I'm having like an allergic reaction. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! allergic reaction. I just wanna... You like President of the Tusion or Rache? Well, I'm acting like I'm having an allergic reaction. I wanna sneeze, but I want it to sneeze.

When I sneeze, it sounds like I said, Ultras. Okay. It's gonna see his reaction. Okay. Okay, it's gonna see his reaction How are you okay? Sorry, I'm an allergic reaction. Oh, she's allergic to being by nobles like us. He's hot to the touch Typically an allergic reaction from an injury or something would be like a rash or reaction from an injury or something would be like a rash or

A rash. This is something perhaps not a certain Implementation on the sinus Puppet T. Maybe it could be that. Can I just see if he if he knew the name when I said yeah, go ahead and give me a perception check Funny plan. I don't know. I just love it. I want to know if he knows them It's 23. You see on his face, he lets a little smirk go. As you say that name. All right. Interesting. Cool. I just keep watching. Walking. So you guys walk and watch as he leads you up a grand staircase to the second floor where a great hall extends past the rest of the castle's architecture over a lake of fire. There was a glass floor below that gives a view of the lava beneath,

but there are rugs of deep burgundy that act as runner shooting off to different tables in the dining area. You see, and there are a lot of people in here. It is not just you guys. It is like nobles from all over Malskirio. You see a lot of the champions that you saw fight today. You see Brazers on the massive tables, Fire Giant musicians playing somber tunes in a minor key. There is a throne at the end of the room with the King's banners all around it, these black gauntlets with fire around them, there are attendants and nobles and stuff sitting around along table up there, but the King's place is empty,

but amongst the nobility up there, if you do see more again, the Crimson Knight with the white plume is just staring at you from the corner and just keeps shaking our head. What's she having for dinner? More small food. Opens up, opens up a little grate in her helm and chumps her teeth at you.

I chomp back. I chomp back. And then I act like, no, no, no, can I be? Don't stoop to her level. You're better than that, Collie. I tell some nobles, can you believe she bit me? We've heard. That's crazy. So Lord Commander is unhated.

Yeah, so hot. Yeah, and I'm about to unhange my jaw, because I'm so hungry. Yum, yum, yum. That's the deepest voice I've ever heard from a bully word. Saul sticks that his tongue in Lix's lips, but it just gets everywhere in his mask. Oh God.

You guys are seated. Lazar brings you guys to the end of a long table. You see there are some other tables that have giant families, like giants of different ages, like older giants, and then younger ones that are still, you know, Goliath's size, like, seven or eight feet tall. But you guys are seated next to other warriors who fought today.

And a lot of them kind of have their backs turned to you and are speaking to each other. A lot of them are wearing like polished armor and things like that. Like they've changed into kind of more ostentatious ceremonial battle equipment for the dinner. And the only person on your end of the table not speaking to anybody is this giant night with a big white mustache has ostentatious armor with flame poldrons that stick out of his shoulders like orange spikes. Lizard gestures for you to sit down and goes, enjoy your meal. Thank you.

Thank you. Now I imagine we'll be seated at very high chairs. We'll have to climb up with ladders. No Was our turns around and leaves and you guys are left sort of maybe to be humiliated a little bit Uh are in these giant seats where you guys are like toddlers having to like fully stand to I'm gonna have to stand to eat Yeah This fork is very big good thing. I had a huge lunch You see across the table the

Mastasioed fire giant night goes, huh? Fellow warriors welcome to the champions table. Well met sir. Can you cut my meat? Of course. Thank you. I am Sir Darriston Chodham Darriston Chodham Darriston Chodham and what what battle did you win today Darristan Chordam. Darristan Chordam. And what battle did you win today, Darristan? Well, I defeated Stuart Gringel's son, how do I gringle a lad of some size? In a joust, and now he has to trim his hedges as to not obstruct my view of the city.

A lad? You said a lad of some size. Yes, is that a lad? A lad of some size, like he has a small lad? A 13-year- old, but he's big Okay, you jousted a 13 yes and knocked him right off that got him or how old are you? He's big but like people said I was over the hill is he big for a 13 year old or big for a He's big for a 13 year old guys over the head

You couldn't just like get the city to trim it Well, I couldn't get the city to trim it because technically we don't know who owns that part of the no one owns that part of the property The city owns that part of the property Which is why I needed to go to the king to sell Congratulations on your victory I Look forward to whatever you you're going to get Thank you the head will not be a bad. I saw I saw your battle whatever you you're going to get. Thank you. The head will not be a problem.

Ah, I saw you're a battle. Did you? I did. What did you make? I was impressed. Yes, you're almost as big as a 13 year old. Oh, that's gotta be the nicest thing a giant could say to someone. Thank you so much.

You're welcome. You're welcome. What are your names? May Pay Pen. May Pay Pen, next time you meet you, I think. They announced you were something different. That's my saying. I don't do a bit, is that true?

There's some gossip of you being bit. Yes, I was, and it's crazy. You see, Morgan is being kind of anti-social, isn't really talking to anyone, and is just staring at you guys. That's crazy. You guys are just playing. He's crazy. You know what I'm saying? It was a great thing, isn't it? A certain level of respect after you win,

and then you just get bit. They are calling her Morrigan the Lady Chomper now. Yeah. I mean, through the whole evening off, if I'm being honest. Yeah. Can I ask who your enemies are, and if you think that's pretty easy?

So it's to a gringo and it's family. And what are they right now? Darestin turns to a giant family quietly enjoying their meal nearby. Gringo! Look alive! Just a spits in an napkin and throws it at their table and it just flop it opens up and is not balled well enough and flops onto the ground. Is the is is a son that this the skinny little giant there? Little giant, look out, it's gotta be seven feet tall. You see that there is a teenage giant

that's got a little welton on his head, and his parents are standing, patting him on the shoulder, proud, just like we're given to the try and keeps looking over his at Darestin. You are a brave and virtuous man and we would love to come look at your hedges from the view on your beautiful porch. Fantastic.

Yeah. It can certainly be arranged. Oh yeah, whenever you're ready. Do you live? Believe it or not, I've lost contact with a lot of friends and family. I was going to ask if you live alone. Yes, of course.

I imagine this event will bring them running back. Well, that's what I'm wondering. Well, I've been trying to speak to these clowns. You see, hey, don't say anything about clowns. Yeah, we are clowns. Don't even know. Yes. You're much funnier than the original Jolly Jouster.

I much prefer these Jolly Jousters. What's he really, the original Jolly Jouster? Was that the first time you've heard of him? You know, I was so caught up in my own drama with the hedges that I can't be tasked with keeping up with who is and who is in the original jolly joster. It's a big kingdom, you understand? Yes.

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slash pop-off. That's rocketmoney.com slash pop-off. One more time rocketmoney.com slash pop-off. Okay, thanks for listening, get your rest of Mars, and enjoy the show. Well, I think that someone's gonna try and poison us tonight. Really? I think it's very possible that will happen to me. Yeah, that's why I'm thinking that we got put at a table together. Yeah.

To poison two birds with one stone. Once again, there were some big children that were drawing on the sidewalk with chalk. And I, of course, called the authorities. Yeah, I was going to say, as you've been talking, you've been revealing yourself to be someone with many enemies, likely because of the power that you will. Yeah, I think they put the most dangerous folk at this table right here.

I think it's quite possible. They're underestimating us. Yeah. Because I'm 102, doesn't mean I can't put a teenager in their place. Yeah. Yeah. Let's keep an eye out for any poison food coming our way.

It's a good thing cameras don't exist in this world. Yeah. Yeah, you're really cool, babe. Yeah. Thank you. Shield, Hannah, from this man. She's 32. Darrison looks scared of her.

And after a bit, you guys see that trumpeters announce the King's arrival. An Ektar arrives with an entourage. Some of them knights, some of them strange accolades that kind of look like the Goliath Lazar that you guys had seen. And Lazar had come out, showed you guys to your table and left and he comes back with some of his guys all wearing the same stuff, all with these necklaces that have like the bone or the horn on it.

They join Ektar and Ektar looks kind of disheveled and nervous. You see that there are, going around to the different tables, serving people wine and stuff There are the smoke elementals floating around Wafting everyone with smells of like cedar and things like that Like incense as they go by and the king as he gets his chair grabs a cup of wine off of one of the trays and sort of

nervously Toast the room and goes my loyal subjects Some more loyal than others uh, toast the room and goes My loyal subjects Some more loyal than others Ha, looks at you guys So you're looking at me? A darest and Terrancy guys Look at your sister, she bit me Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha of today in honor of our champions. And may this be the first of many celebrations for the giants, many celebrations indeed.

I don't know where you're last. Raises his cup, everybody responds here here, and he downs his cup, and you see he motions for the servants to begin serving everyone, but he keeps looking over at you guys, speaking to Lazar, and a couple of these other acolyte guys, but then he storms off before he can be Lazar, and a couple of these other Acolyte guys, but then he storms off before he can be served,

and a couple of tendons go with him. Okay, Mauser. Buh-buh-buh, follow. Uh-huh. I'm gonna send the unseen serpent, along with Mauser, so that the second that we want Mauser to like get into place, the unseen serpent can just knock something over,

just like time it out to have like a auditory distraction whenever a mouser might be in the most noise of all. Got it. Go ahead and give me a stealth check with advantage for Mauser and I will tell you Mauser gets a plus 12 to stealth. Ooh, nice. 33. Jesus Christ.

With the help of the unseen serpent, Mauser is a ghost. Does not do his cute little beeps. You see, in fact, flattens out and gets smaller. And sort of like a chameleon takes on a different color, like an orange to look like the lava beneath the glass and begins writing slowly along the ground, following the king and some of his attendants,

various like politicians and noble types, others are like personal guards and a couple of them are these acolytes that look like the Goliath Mage, Lazar. The king is the only one speaking, the attendants are just kind of nervously attending to him, and the acolytes are dead eyed and emotionless just following along, but the King is grumbling just going to himself. Oh, am I supposed to stomach this dishonor? What is Lazar thinking and fighting them into my hall? Going on and on about how it was like Lazar's idea. And as they're walking down the hallway,

they cross paths with an alchemist. This giant in an apron has like a soot-covered goggles pulled back over her red hair, pulls out a vial of like a sizzling green liquid and hands it to one of the acolytes. The exchange happens very quickly in the alchemist walks off, then the king turns to the acolyte and goes, there, we did our part. Now you do whatever it is you need to do to make sure your guy wins tomorrow.

I am not giving back Jaina Bronzebeard. The Acolyte nods at him, just gluesy eyed, and the king storms away with his attendance while the Goliath's head back towards the dining hall. Okay. What did the king say? Do whatever you have to do to make sure your guy wins? Yeah, so I think that he's getting a champion from the acolytes, a.k.a. probably ultra-s. Yeah. And he procured them some sort of like bubbling green potion, and that's

what I want to get my hands on really badly. Do you think that potion is meant for us? That's what I don't know. Good weekend us or could strengthen the the other fighter huh? Um where was that potion heading? It's in the pocket in front of the acolytes which makes me want to see if the unseen certain can pick pocket. That's a great idea. Oh I'm going to say if you'd like to do this it's going to have essentially commoner stats, so it's going to have a plus zero to this role, and this acolyte is actively, you know,

protecting this thing, so is looking for this type of thing. Okay, I think there's no harm in trying. Okay, right. Because it's invisible, if they stomp on it, it will just go away. Oh, so I think I Wait till that and range that I can give a bardic to the unseen serpent. Okay, so these Acolytes walk back into the great hall as you get within range

you're gonna give a bardic inspiration and Attempt a slight of hand Yeah, okay, and I think I'm going to and give a bardic inspiration and attempt a slight of hand. Yeah. And I think I'm going to prepare an action to press the digitization, like the look of someone else's magic if this gets caught. OK, that is a 21 that you're trying to be on the perception. OK, so it has plus zero, right?

You have plus zero, correct. Hahahaha! Nat 20. Hahahaha! Oh my god! Yes! You didn't even need the bardic! Lee, shit! Wow! Okay, give us the juice, dude!

Hahahaha! Had you not said that you gave it a bardic? I could have pulled the old nat 20 becomes what? And then it's just a 20 and then it loses to my 21. But with a bardic, you hit a 21, even if you're a little one in the bardic. Oh, my throat's so dry. I need the juice.

So, I'm thirsty. I'm so thirsty. Okay, so the unseen serpent slithers over silently, hops up and swipes the vile, and then swims it over to you. Okay, I look at a hard one and saw with like total fear in my eyes. Okay, I just, I kind of got, I just, I got really lucky.

Yeah, we're like, we're the, we're the dog that caught the car. This is that fucking juice. Okay, yeah, um, hide that number one. Okay, we're gonna hide it, winch. Can you identify this? Yeah, maybe you see, winch hides it under the table. Yeah. Here, I'll cover for us.

Three more wines this way. Oh, oh, oh, oh, way. So I'll just start like brazenly drinking wine. Yeah, yeah. So I'll make a big scene because, when you, if you can identify this, or if you can make a dupe of this, we can make them think they still have it. We can try and put it back in. Oh my god. Fill it up with that little wine. With something else. That looks like it. So, Saul, you are taking a bunch of wine, and you need to eat no face from spirited away. Just like gluttonously eating everything.

Yeah, and Daraston's eating along with you. Now, there's a frog with an appetite. Oh, man, this is awful. Is any of it poisoned, Saul, or what? Yeah, I was just kidding. I've even tried to figure that out. I forgot to do a check. I was just enjoying myself. It's really good. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding.

I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding.

I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding.

I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. Good drone. Hard one. Maybe it's fucking terrified because she knows that she's playing with such delicate fire right now that she's actually not going to drink. Yeah. So, hard one starts drinking the wine. Saul is drinking the wine.

Winch looks at the little vile, scans it with something under the table, and then looks up at you guys nervously. As Dara Stin is kind of just like telling Saul some stupid story about like the time he complained to a restaurant and got his meal for free by saying it was too close. I knew it. They put us at the poison table. When she pulls you guys in close and goes, this isn't poison. This is acid.

Acid? Acid? Acid? Acid? Ac acid. What could that mean is it to destroy something? You see Kenna. Oh looks up our suits Okay, okay, okay, so okay,, I know I'm asking a lot of you, okay.

based on the fact that you're an artificer or alchemy or something, is there any way that you could make a duplicate of this? Uh-huh. That is not actually acidic. Yeah, I could just try to, I have a way to, I could kind of press a digitation, just put some green liquid in there, I don't know that it'll sizzle

and pop, but maybe they won't notice. I mean, press a digitization, just put some cream liquid in there, I don't know that it'll sizzle and pop, but maybe they won't notice. I mean, press a digitization isn't gonna last. Or I can die, I have dies. I die, I just start to just die. Okay. If there's some sort of like carbonated salzer, and you could get. I could fart into the tube.

Okay. Okay. Let's talk between a carbonated salzer, hard ones fart, and your food die. I'll say, it'll still like acid. Callie, if you to use your deception check, you can help, winch can be the one. You basically tell winch what to do

and this will be how convincing the fake is. 15. 15, okay. You help winch who removes the acid from the vial. I guess I'll just put it on the ground. Put a napkin over the whole end of the whole end of the ground. It just burns a hole through the ground. Oh, I feel like a chemistry class.

Yeah, okay. Fills it up with this new green liquid and hands it back to you. Okay. Then, I guess I don't think this is convincing. I think it's very likely that They're not going to buy this, but we can it's maybe our best shot. It's better. Better than nothing. I guess. Okay. Yeah Now we need to do a reverse pickpocket. Right. Anyone have any ideas on how to make this work? Why don't you just like get the unseen servant to like drop it somewhere and that'll make the acolyte think that they just mistaked. That's a really good

call. Okay, let's send the unseen serpent to just place it directly at the feet. Okay, so the unseen serpent slithers over, places it down at the acolyte's feet with a little clink, go ahead and give me a deception check against his insight. Just trying to beat a nine. 22. Okay, you see a motion in the acolytes face for the first time. Eyes widen, looks nervous, then quickly picks up the vile and hides it before the others can see that he dropped it. And hard one, as you're drinking wine with Saul and Darristan, Darristan goes, yes, that's what you do, you just go to the restaurant

and you say the middle is uncooked and they take it. Right. Ah. Dary. Dary. Are you worried that you can't go back to the restaurant? But there's a lot of different things. The problem with it is that you have to have a a lot of different things. I need a refund!

I need a refund! I'm going to, I can't believe I'm going to do this. I'm going to lay on hands. You're going to lay on hands. Okay, so you see, Darristan begins choking. Hard one. Go ahead and give me a constitution saving throw. Oh, okay, I'm sure it was the meat that was poisoned

or the bread. Oh, a constitution saved nicely. Don, me, 27. Hard one, you're fine. You feel a little bit of indigestion. You think you may have just been poisoned, hard one. You're just trying to get a refund. I mean, sure, it's not the best vintage,

but yeah, what they have here, be chilled, ideally. Just trying to get a refund. I mean, sure, it's not the best vintage, but you know what they have here. Be chilled, ideally. I think I go do the Heimlich Manoeuvre, and as I'm doing it, I whisper in his ear, you've been poisoned, carry this fucking grouch. Yeah, you go over, you cast landhands, if you use 5HP of landhands.

I'm using 5HP, but I'm making it look like I'm doing the Heimlich Manoeuvre. As you're doing the Heimlich Manoeuvre,hmm. As, as you're doing the Heimlich maneuver, you see, Deriston just barfs on the table. Ha-ha-ha! Wow! Come on. Ah, we could have used that in the vile.

Now we want my meal for free. Think you could kill me. Did you grinkle? You did. Get up, I'll find any of the children. Any of the children, you see? Deriston stands up and thinks that House Gringle has poisoned him. So gets up and starts yelling, and him barfing on the table, there is kind of chaos.

There's like this big kerfuffle and people are being like poisoned, poisoned. And during the commotion, while everyone's distracted, you see the acolyte with the vial sneaks off into the hall. Taking off. Should we excuse ourselves? I look at what does Morrigan look at? Morrigan is just watching your every move. I'm gonna take the wine glass that Dara Stoom was drinking from.

Okay. And be like, he's just a crazy old man. It's fine. And then I just down the rest. Go ahead and give me a deception check, Saul. Can I give him the help I think? Yeah. Because I was such the help, actually? Yeah. Because I was such a good idea.

Shut up to the two crew. Okay. But I have help, I can go with advantage. That's just a flat 10. Okay. You see that is enough for some of the people nearby that have a distaste for Darestin that are just like, yeah, he would do that.

He would do that. There's that right. He's clearly trying to get a free bottle of wine. He's at restaurants all the time, is the thing. He was just telling us. The people who don't believe you are probably the people that might have had something to do with the pleasure.

We see a lot of that like, accolites and stuff like looking around and the nights and everything and are trying to get a handle on the situation, but you see this one dude has taken off. Has there enough of a distraction while Darrison is throwing up that I can, you know, excuse myself? Yeah. Okay. I want to see if I can follow the accolade.

Great. I'm gonna make eyes with Morrigan and nod towards the accolade and follow a hard one. Morrigan gives you a nod and stands up. Meanwhile, Saul is sort of making a big show with, I'll say, Ken is there too, as Callie and Hard One go out into the hallway. And as you walk out into the hall, you see this accolade is walking hood up and then stops in the middle of the hall.

I think I'm like walking farther behind hard ones. So I'm not like bunched up on him. I'm kind of more like almost back up for whatever hard one wants to do. Okay, and I'm not gonna stop dead so they know that I'm following them. I'm just gonna kind of slow my walk. Got him. Okay.

So hard one, you slow your walk. As you do, this acolyte turns around, smirks, grabs the vial at their side. Unbeknownst to him, it's been swapped. It throws it at your armor hard one, it shatters, and you guys are covered in this fake green gun. Ah! Ah!

I let out a shriek, a high pitched shriek. You know, it's burning me. Can I press the geositation like it's working? Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna basically press the jujitation like smoking from his armor. Okay, I'm gonna rye the pain and kind of crawl really

slowly and unthreatening towards him. Like I'm gonna deliver one last final plea, one gasp for help. Why did you do that? And then grab him by the hood and yank him down. Guys, go ahead and give me a deception check with advantage. 28. Dirty 20.

Beautiful. As you grab him and as your armor is sizzling and it looks to this acolyte like he's done the job, he leans down and looks at you with glazy eyes. He will die without his help. He will save you if you ask him. Oh, please, please, who? I don't know, let me ask him.

I need... Ultras will save you. Ultras will save you, friend. You see, he's wearing this necklace. And at the end of it, uh it is this pendant that's bone white. This has the power to protect you from the heat. I would give you my, if you would accept it. He pulls off the necklace and goes to place it around your neck. I grab it right before it goes around my neck. As you grab it right before it goes around your neck, the protection leaves himself.

No, no, I'm supposed to save you. And as just a regular goliath, he begins melting away and he bursts into flames and turns into a charred skeleton, and you are left with just this pendant in your hand. And Kali, you are in the hallway with hard one and you see this dude has just blown up and turned to dust and you are getting a chill from your dagger. Okay, that is the fractured antler from the helm.

It's been decentralized. It's basically in all these different pendants and it seems like these pendants are also offering people Safety from the heat. So I think we need to try to steal some pendants tonight. I see. Okay. I look closely at this pendant and it's it's indeed an antler. Can you can you bring it close to me? Yeah, can I detect thoughts on the antler? Callie, as you do, call her. You hear someone saying the words to a spell

and you recognize the voice as Callie's. And Callie, you detect a presence, the presence of Calder, the presence of Jaina, and the presence of Ultras in this pendant. Ultras is in the pendant? His power. I hold it up to my mouth and I say,odder, I don't know if you can hear this But I feel you in there and we're here. We're so so close Okay, so I need you to keep fighting because in a day I

Think you're gonna have the best chance yet to get out of there. Okay, so don't give up yet We're coming. I run up to the forest field in the barrier and I don't know if I can understand Kelly's message, but I'm just yelling over and over again. Kelly! Kelly! Kelly! It's the acolytes! Get the acolytes! Yeah, you see, uh, Jaina stands up and goes, great, great, yeah, if you can hear us, whatever you have is probably cursed. So don't put on whatever it is. Don't let them trick you.

The pendants are cursed. Okay, we need to collect these pendants, but not put them on. Okay. How many are there? I don't know if you can hear me. How many pendants are there? Do you get a sense of how many barriers you're up against?

Or how many sides are surrounding you? Gally! Gally! Gally! Hold on, we're so, this is the closest we've been yet and you still feel so far away. They're there, I can feel them. We're somewhere so hot. You would be so out of place if you were here.

Gah! Give my best to swag. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha pull away from this. Now since I've got the detect thoughts going, can I do a loop around and feel how many of these little vessels I might feel hanging around? So as you, as you, I'm shrieking, Kelly's named the entire time. Yeah. Yeah. Keep screaming.

Keep screaming. I'm using it like a fine my phone thing. He's tagged it. As you look around back in the main room, there were several other acolytes with these pendants on. And I'll say just passive insight from everything that's just happened. You don't get the sense that you need to steal every one of these pendants. You get the sense that their plan was, get you with the acid. Make it so you needed something to protect you from the heat.

So you put on an item that's like Ultras' helm. So you get trapped like Alder. Ah. Because he's collecting powers. Okay. I see. Oh, ah. Because he's collecting powers. OK. I see. All right.

I think to winch, I say, could you mark up something like this? You see. Make a dupe of these pendants. Maybe we could certainly research it back in my lab before we could get back there. And as he says that, Lazar walks up amongst the, you guys are like, absolutely high dependent.

Yeah, you guys, you hide the pendant. So all this desperately trying to help Dariusin get a free bottle of wine. It's the least you could do. Come on, it should be a nice vintage. I feel like it wasn't poison, but it was definitely a little, I didn't pay for it.

Yeah, I think all the wine is free. Victory feast. Yeah, I mean, we're, our night is ruined. Our night is ruined. We should get another victory feast. I think all the wine is free. Victory feast. Yeah. I mean, our night is ruined. Our night is ruined. We should get another victory feast. I should be able to come tomorrow. Right. Yeah.

Right. Soudre feast. Can you direct him to vomit right where this boiled mages? I'm going to try and pass off this man's remains. It's interesting. It's interesting. It's so slight of hands as solar plexus. You take, you take them out and the holly starts barfing into the ashes of this dude.

But you see, uh, Lizar comes out, um, back in the, the sort of main room, where there was this kerfuffle of this minor poisoning of d'Aristin. Lizar waves his hands and goes, all right, we can't be too careful within the castle. We there's our waves as hands and goes, all right, we can't be too careful within the castle. We'll have to do a full investigation. Everyone stays locked down.

Everyone's staying here tonight. We'll have to pick up my kids. What? I got my kids, they're take care. Yeah. I wasn't gonna bring him to the joust. Deception check with disadvantage. He has full children.

You have, you're relying on a heat resistant suit to go around. Uh-huh. You've decided to have four frog children in a place where they can't live. Right, yeah. They're like a cooler. Yes, they're towels. They're in a cooler. Yeah.

Convincing that. That's the right. I'm curious to how convincing this is. Yeah, they're like a cooler. Yes, they're tadpole. They're in a cooler. Yeah, convincing that To how convinced I give solid-bosic Well, see how convincing this is My deception is plus two so that's gonna be a 17. I'm gonna use my bardic. Okay, a cooler of tadpole is very reasonable Seven okay, so 24 you see that Lazar is not a moron. Okay. But looks around and sees that some other morons are buying your story and goes,

Well surely you should be allowed to go to school. We all have children. I need to pick up my children from daycare. I need to pick up my kid. We can't be left here. Yeah, thanks for the reminder. I have to pick up my kid, we can't be left here. Yeah, thanks for the reminder, I have to pick up my kids. And you see, Morgan walks over and puts her hand on Lazar shoulder. Careful, Lazar.

Looks at you hard, one. I flinch. You somehow, through the visor, see a dead stare. You see, like, red eyes appear through the visor. And she goes, I have been watching the small folk closely and I can tell you with some certainty that they are not the poisoners. If I had to guess, I'd say a mage did it through one of the elementals. It was easily cured so more than likely it was just a distraction for something else. And she looks at Lazar who looks a little nervous for a moment and goes,

a solid theory, but one that needs proof, everyone will stay the night and there will be a full investigation. She goes, you do not control the night here, I do. She turns to you guys. You've accepted my brother's hospitality, and he has proven that it is not safe within his walls. Everyone may go as they please, or I'll bite you.

Ha ha ha ha. I go to shake her hand, but then pull it back and end to a bow. I give her a very respectful curtsy. You see she nods and walks off and you see Lazar kind of looks furious and starts walking off and talking to other people and when she goes, we should get the fuck out of you. Yeah, let's go fuck out of you.

As you guys walk out and the other nobles leave as well, two fire giant knights in dark armor close the gates behind you. Of these Morgan's knights? No, they are wearing the armor of the king. They're wearing like black armor with red trim. Right. As you guys walk off, you hear one go. Hey!

Good luck tomorrow. I hear the king's advisors are concerned for his safety because of the poisoning, so he might have someone else fight in his place. I assumed as much. That seems paw for the cause. Sounds like your King. We're just worried about keeping things jolly.

I do a somber jig. Ha ha ha ha. You see the giant's eyes flash a familiar blue and you hear a chilling voice go, careful, I hear the King's Champion has a reputation for taking your friends from you. I'll see you tomorrow and that's where we'll end our session. Oh, you piece of shit. You piece of shit. Give it back. I can't believe you guys replaced the acid

that was supposed to spray on your, saying that 20. Yeah, that was a great nod to me. I'm really impressed that you used a plan that I feel like we would have come up with, which would just get us to a bathroom. Yeah. I was just trying to get you guys to leave,

because they can't do anything in front of people, really, really true. Yeah, so it was like this minor little poisoning that I knew I wasn't gonna get you with, but I thought I could get you with the poisoners running off. Now go chase them. Oh, that's funny. Yeah, good.

And good. And I might have, because you guys did go after him, but when he had no weapon, he had no acid right. Yeah, and we would have thought that was poison if we hadn't. Totally, yeah, so. If the unseen server hadn't. The reason the vial was cartoonishly poisoned sounding,

a bubbling vial of green liquid, is because it wasn't actually poison, it was something else. You guys were good, we'll talk about this more in the short. We're gonna talk about this in the short press. You guys were placing that file with specific features. Anyway, you can listen to that over on patreon.com slash and adpod that's NADDP. We are, we are, we are, we are.

Don't even think about it. We are, we are. Don't even think about it. We are. And we've got some live shows to plug. Yes, we do. Yes, we do. Yeah, murder. We have. And we've got some live shows to plug. Yes we do. Yes we do. Yeah, murder. We have Minneapolis, September 13th. We're live. Yeah, murder. Madison, Wisconsin, September 14th. Okay. Milwaukee, September 15th. Chicago, for Dungeon, for September 16th.

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