Not Another D&D Podcast - C3 Ep. 60: Peregrine (The Ice Knife Saga)
Episode Date: May 17, 2024Duck Team faces Alexandrite for the fate of the Ice Knife! Sol keeps em' guessing, Callie hears the call of the wild, and Calder takes a leap of faith. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod&...nbsp;to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content! Get tickets to our upcoming live shows at naddpod.com/live.Music / Sound Effects Include: “A Wizard’s Tournament” by Emily Axford."Shock at the Dock" by Emily Axford."The Purge" by Emily Axford."Bronzebeard Baddies" by Emily Axford."Conspiracy in the Clouds" by Emily Axford."A Fate Refused" by Emily Axford."The Valiant Ol' Cobb" by Emily Axford."Spearmint & Tea Leaves" by Emily Axford."A Fairy Remembers" by Emily Axford."Demigod" by Emily Axford."Escape From Smuggler's Bounty" by Emily Axford."The Fairy" by Emily Axford."Twinkling Lights of Galaderon" by Emily Axford."The Posse" by Emily Axford."A Tale's End" by Emily Axford."Home is Where the Hearth Is" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Podcast.
Welcome to the Campaign After the Campaign.
This is not another D&D Podcast.
Welcome back to Bahoomyah everybody.
Bahoomyah.
I'm your Dungeon Master Brian Murphy joined by Jay Kerwitz.
Putting this conflict to bed by taking Alexandrite to the meat shed.
Call her killed then.
Oh yeah!
We're taking him to the meat shed.
Gotta take him to the shed.
Opa Rocky 1 style.
Exactly.
Yeah, the meat freezer in that film.
And then of course we've got Emily Axford.
Mistress of the cryptic
triptych
Calliope Petrich
Love a triptych. I thought you were gonna change your last name in that moment. I think I forgot my own name
Triptych I had the thought of what character am I playing? Yeah, seated sort of. That pushed everything out and rightfully so. That's an M&M rhyme. You're a rap god. Yeah
And then of course we've got Coldwell Tanner. Saul Bufo, ready to go go go, pressing X to skip intro. Come on
I'm ready. Let's go. All right
All right, fine. No recap.
And Saul is attacked by Alexandrite.
Power Word killed. You have less than 100 HP?
This is what I wanted.
Solace is dead.
No, let's go ahead and do a little recap.
So last time, great attitude everyone.
So last time.
If you absolutely have to.
Oh my God, terrible energy.
I fucking hate this.
If you must.
So last time you battled Havoc and chased after Gawain for the Ice Knife.
During the fight, Kali found a side chamber where Gawain had completed his last challenge.
There she discovered the ashes of a spell scroll and carvings on the wall,
depicting the Ice Knife going to Alexandrite and then combining with another sword to open the gate to the Feywild.
While she pondered this, Sol managed to catch up with Gawain as he prepared to pull the
sword from the frozen statue of Ariox.
Sol attempted to reason with him, but to no avail.
Next round, he was joined by Kali.
Together they were able to wrench the relic away from the determined frost giant, but
as Havoc attempted to steal the sword back, Kali heard the voice of her mother echoing, If your opponent thinks they have all the pieces, to win, let them, and allowed herself to be disarmed.
Gawain grabbed the ice knife and ran out onto the mountain.
After Kali deduced that the other sword in the etching could be shard,
Calder saw a vision of Gawain's last challenge,
where he agreed to a plan to defeat Alexandrite
and to have his memory wiped to avoid her detection. Gawain was asked for an anchor
memory to trigger the plan, and he recounted a winter spent training Calder how to fight
in the meat shed, Opa, Rocky 1 style.
Knowing that Gawain was now involved in the plot to defeat Alexandrite, Calder rushed
into the main chamber atop Honeysuckle while Saul attempted to catch Gawain was now involved in the plot to defeat Alexandrite, Calder rushed into the main chamber,
atop Honeysuckle, while Saul attempted to catch Gawain out on the mountain.
Unfortunately, when Saul got too close, he saw Alexandrite waiting and was rendered incapacitated by her power.
Inside, Caly shattered the Statue of Ardax to free his spirit,
and the Ghost filled Duck Team with his power, reviving Saul.
Out on the mountain, you watched Gawain hand the ice knife over to Alexandrite.
She held up the sword and pointed it at the rift, but the portal did not open.
Unbeknownst to her, she was missing a component.
The sword shard.
Calder cast Booming Blade on it, then shouted Meat Shed at Gawain, triggering the plan.
As Gawain launched in to wrestle the ice knife from Alexandrite, he stabbed her with it, sending havoc through her like a virus.
She was gravely injured by the attack, but managed to incapacitate Gawain with a powerful
electric charge.
As she clutched her real wound, Ariox gave you one last burst of power, a long rest,
and a level.
And that's where we are now.
Everybody go ahead and roll initiative.
It's a new fight.
Holy shit.
It's a new fight, a new day.
Yes, that's a nat 20.
Oh shit, okay.
Damn.
All right, finally he's learning.
He's excited about the nat 20 and initiative.
How about that, folks?
Would have been much better on an attack,
but still pretty cool.
Not so much for a monk though, right?
Not so much for a monk though.
Yeah, pretty interesting.
It's true.
It's, what?
I actually know it's true.
For a monk, it wouldn't mean that much.
There you go.
Okay, I got you guys.
Yeah, I'm not excited.
Can we just skip ahead to when I do something cool?
Yeah, this is a terrible attitude.
I hate it.
It's bleeding into the episode.
It's bleeding into the episode.
I got an 18.
Okay.
15.
All right.
That is a 30 total for me.
Can I give some of my initiative to other people? No. Okay.
So to kind of clarify what's going on here, Alexandrite,
you know that Alexandrite has the ability to upload her consciousness and her power into different bodies.
However, the virus of havoc is stopping her from using the ability to like
fast travel to another body, to inhabit another body.
So if you kill this form of her,
you can potentially kill her.
She still has powers, but they're unstable.
She needs to be hit with the ice knife
at least once every round.
Until she is killed or she can potentially patch the wound
or send her consciousness somewhere else.
You saw that as Gawain stabbed into her,
she did like a burst of power
that sent the Ice Knife into the snow.
So she does not currently have it in her.
She is injured and much like, you know,
like a vampire needs to be hit with fire
or radiant damage every turn,
she needs to be hit with this virus.
Otherwise she can start reviving herself.
The Ice Knife, we're gonna, we'll keep it very simple.
It's powerful, but it's a little clunky.
It's a long sword for giants, so it's very big.
It's got Buster Sword vibes, if Calli or Saul use it.
But anyone can use it.
I know that narratively it's called it,
but I really, really want one turn with it,
just to be so tiny and holding a huge sword.
We got to treat it like a pinata.
If he gets incapacitated or something,
somebody's got to hit her or she can get away.
It's a plus eight to hit flat.
So you can just write that down.
That's plus eight to hit.
It's 2d6 of damage plus your modifier.
So just whatever you add to attacks, put that.
And it's a 2d8 of viral smite.
So that's automatic. You don't have to spend spell slots or anything.
She's just weak to it and takes an extra 2d8 of damage.
And then if she's hit with the ice knife, we shall see what happens.
There are essentially wild magic surges and she might switch forms.
But the ice knife is sticking out of the snow right now.
She does not have it. It is night.
The rift in the sky glows
green above. There is an eerie calm as Alexandrite shifts focus from her wound to locking in
on you across the mountain pass. She has lost any visage of humanity, no longer a mechanical dryad, but instead a strange being of glowing wires.
She glitches from her wound that sends charges up through her body.
Her eyes glow red with power as she hovers over to you,
but Saul, you are first to act at initiative 30.
Okay, so Gowan is on the ground.
Yes.
Can I do like a perception on Gowan to see if he's like
stable if he's dying what's what's going on? Totally. Yeah, yeah. Great. It's gonna be a 16.
Okay, on a 16, you see that his chest is rising, he's taking like shallow breaths,
you get the sense looking at him that he had an extreme version of what just happened to you happen to him.
So he's like incapacitated by some great like synaptic static.
Needs like a greater restoration.
Okay, great.
All right.
Well, in that case, I'm going to head for the ice knife.
Okay.
I'm going to sprint over to that.
I'm going to grab it and then kind of pick it up as if I'm doing
like a hammer throw.
Don't lick it, whatever you do, don't lick it.
Yeah.
And I'm gonna spin it around and get closer
and closer to Alexandrite, but then at the last minute,
I'm gonna fling it back towards Kali.
To a fly?
Towards Kalibe?
Yeah.
Okay.
As you go near it, you pull it out of the snow.
It is extremely heavy in your hands,
but you feel just the sort of the power of your fate here
and the need for you to deliver in this moment.
You see Alexandrite looks at you as you pick up the sword
and goes, what are you doing, Saul?
Here comes havoc!
You toss it back, Calli grabs it out of the air,
is holding this giant sword.
I look so confused, did you mean to throw it to me?
Did you miss Calder?
It definitely slipped.
Alexandrite looks up, wait, what?
Calder just has his hand up in the air
and gives Kelly a thumbs up with it.
Right on.
You think you can finish me off with that,
oh, it's back there now.
That's right, you can't predict what I've done.
You do see she's rewinding
and just starts saying random things
like a music box comes out through her mouth
She just starts playing random music as she's just searching trying to figure out what you're doing
That's so funny if we feed her an unexpected narrative
And our G canna finally gets out there behind you guys and starts laughing you guys are so random
You're just like being all my friends
Alexandra goes you should have outgrown this.
Ha ha ha.
So I be beams at Kenna's compliment.
Ha ha ha.
Kenna's just laughing way too hard.
This is serious, I think.
This is just how me and my mates are.
If you can't handle it, then you can't roll with our crew.
Analyzing, analyzing, tone, incorrect.
Ha ha ha. Okay, is that my action? You can't roll with our crew analyzing analyzing tone incorrect
Okay, is that my action that is not your action you can you can toss the sword as sort of a free action Whoo, okay, Saul wipes the grease off of his palms
And then prepares to actually attack right on I'll go ahead and do a little uppercut on Alexandra. Sweet
Yeah, you rush forward you see that She's quite fast she launches in to go attack you but as she's kind of short
Circuiting and trying to regain control of her body. She doesn't have perfect control anymore, and you are faster
So you fly in you guys see like Dragon Ball Z style they flash in against each other and Saul goes for a big uppercut
I wonder how some spores will feel on your circuits.
Does a 17 hit?
17 does not hit.
Yes, she won't find out yet.
I don't know, and I don't care to find out.
See, she leans back fully, does like a full backbend
with her head, unnaturally, in the snow.
It's pretty funny.
Why? You wouldn't get it. it's peregrine humor.
I'm gonna go ahead and do...
Dive laughing.
Canna, we are just on the same page today.
We are just on the same level.
This is why we're lads.
I'm gonna do a second attack.
Right on.
21?
21 does hit.
So as she leans back, you see that she predicted the big uppercut
But you swoop around and you do like a leg sweep under her legs. Yeah, how big is she?
She is just humanoid size right now. She's sort of like
warping and
defying her
Bodily container if that makes sense like the sort of silhouette of her is almost like wet and moving alright
I am gonna attempt to just throw this computer into the swamp and just fill her with mushroom spores right on
Yeah, your hand out, and you see it begin charging into her wires stop. That's all that's not right
Sorry our humor is a little twisted, and I'll go ahead and flurry of blows as well right on
And I'll go ahead and flurry of blows as well. Right on.
20 to hit.
20 hits.
And then a 15 isn't gonna hit.
15 does not hit.
So you sweep out her legs,
you give her one good punch in the chest.
When you go to punch again,
she rolls out of the way looking like she almost disappears.
Like you feel a leftover like ectoplasm where she was.
All right.
If you're gonna continue to be unpredictable,
we'll just have to grow stronger and better.
Always upward. That is the point of the network, Saul. We can grow together. Don't twist
my words. We're the ones that are twisting our humor here. 31 points of damage. All right, not
an insignificant amount of damage. You do see as you're hitting her, it does seem like it's actually
affecting her. Her body is moving. You see like weird goo leaking out of her wounds.
Oh no, my goo.
What is that?
She also likes goo, Nola.
Not goo, Nola.
What do you run on?
You know, oil and wires and things.
Why is it chunky?
Was not expecting this much goo, honestly.
There's machine stuff in there as well.
It's not just oil.
That's my turn.
Okay, after Sol's turn, Alexandrite is next,
but before she even goes,
she's gonna burn two legendary actions, actually,
to use a special ability.
She sees that Kali is holding the ice knife right now.
So is going to turn and shoot a mind weakening ray at her. You see Alexandrite's
eyes glow red and she shoots an optic blast at you Callie. Go ahead and give me an intelligence
saving throw. Wow what a look. She's pissed. I am unhappy. Have a plus zero to intelligence. Okay, gotta get a 19 or higher on this.
Got a 13. Okay.
I think it's like impossible. Do I use my luck blade here?
I think I do.
Yeah, you're gonna use your luck blade.
I'm gonna use my luck blade.
Okay.
Try to beat this.
I didn't beat it.
Okay, Callie, you use up your luck blade.
You take 33 damage from this beam and you also feel static as your mind is like temporarily
hijacked.
You feel like a static in your brain and you cannot cast spells or activate magic items
for one minute.
You can repeat the saving throw at the end of your turns but you straight-up forget how to cast spells and you look at the ice knife and
You see that Havoc stops sort of exploding out of it. You don't know how to use the smites on it
Okay. Oh boy, but all she had as long as the ice knife hits
Alexandra no, she cannot activate like the smiting thing on it. She she cannot use magic items
Um, I hold it up and I mean, honestly,
I'm glad this happened to me, not Calder.
So this is perfect.
This has been a perfect version.
I hold up the Ice Knight.
After Alexandra's legendary action,
that is her turn proper.
She's going to look over at Calder and do the same thing.
Calder goes and gives an intelligence saving throw.
Good intelligence, come on.
I've got good intelligence.
As you see, an eye beam shoots out.
She's just very coldly, as she dodges a bunch of Saul's
follow-up attacks, she just coldly analyzes the battlefield
and is just shooting these eye beams at you guys.
What's with the stink eye?
So rude.
23.
23 passes.
OK, so Calder, you actually are now immune
to the effects of this.
You cannot be affected by this again.
So you only take, you take 16 damage,
you take half damage from that, from passing.
But you are not, you feel a moment of static in your brain.
You sort of clutch your head and feel your legs wobble,
but then you get your mind right
and you are able to sort of recalibrate yourself
and you're still able to use your spells and abilities.
After the Eyebeam, she's going to take two claw attacks.
You see she holds out her hand and sort of just sharpens her fingers and begins swiping
them across Saul's face.
25 to hit Saul.
Ooh, that hits.
Whoa.
Okay, that is 16 damage.
Okay.
Unlike a sort of normal enemy that will sit there and just like crack you,
she's so fast that with one strike, she goes after Saul,
and the next strike she's already around trying to roundhouse kick Callie.
You see she's right up in your face.
That's only an 18 to hit you, Callie?
That misses. That misses. So Callie hit you, Kali? That misses.
That misses.
So Kali, you see at the last second,
you're like about to be roundhouse kicked.
You see her foot flying at your face.
You are trying to gather your thoughts
to regain your arcane knowledge,
but you snap back to the present
and quickly dodge this attack.
Impressive foresight, Kaliope.
What?
Where am I?
You dodge that by accident?
That is so frustrating for me.
I think she tripped.
It's sort of like a Jar Jar Binks thing.
That's like clumsy to my-
No, no.
It was very Jar Jar, yeah.
Peek behind the screen,
Emily saw episode one for the first time.
Let's limit our references. Biting my tongue.
I was like, are we gonna talk about it?
I guess we're talking about it.
We're not, we're actually not.
Okay, so she is going to, at initiative 20,
take a lair action.
You see that she holds up a trembling hand.
Her skin is see-through, wires overcharged and glowing.
You see she clenches her fist and then raises it, and you feel a deep quake from beneath the earth.
Rocks and boulders begin rolling down from higher up the mountain. Huge clumps of snow begin falling down.
Everybody give me Dex saving throws.
Okay.
Kenna's... Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! She tries to go and dive and grab gallon who's incapacitated 17 for calder 18 for
client p26 for Saul okay Saul is the only one who passes and Saul you're
completely fine you do a frog jump jump up and just get out of the way of all
these all this debris everybody else takes 16 damage and is knocked prone.
So you guys, there's just this rock slide
that knocks you all over.
Kenna takes it as well, but she's kind of like near Gawain.
I'll say she kind of grabs Gawain
and rolls over to the side and tries to keep him safe.
I'm gonna use Stone's Endurance
and shake off all of the damage.
Right on.
Okay, so you make your skin hard as a rock
and you see ping, ping, ping, ping, a bunch of these pebbles and rocks and boulders break off as they hit calder
Calder you rise out of the debris here, or you don't rise because you're prone
So you rise out of the debris and then kind of twist your ankle and fall forward oh shit
I see out here
So you guys are covered in a bunch of debris as the mountain around you has now become difficult terrain.
The smooth mountain pass that wrapped around the mountain
here is now uneven with large fissures, rock piles,
and mounds of snow.
Saul, I think this is not gonna affect you at all.
Doesn't honeysuckle ignore?
And honeysuckle does ignore it.
And honeysuckle is there.
Rum, rum, rum.
Honeysuckle immediately just starts burrowing
through the snow here.
That's right, baby.
You're in your element.
Rumble, rumble, rumble.
As the world shakes, there is a low, rising rumble from deep in the earth,
and suddenly there is a crack in the ice of the giant lake down in the village.
There's a sort of moment of silence, and then a long, cracking sound from the thick ice, and finally chaos as the ice
shatters and the mothership submersible emerges from underneath it.
You see this gargantuan vehicle rising, glowing with lights of magitech, giant chunks of ice
fall off of it, and Alexandrite goes,
When I thought you could be useful, I saw no benefit in eliminating you.
But the circumstances have changed. I see now that you are obstacles.
She opens her hand and spreads her palms, and you see hundreds of these mothership employees, these
Alexandrite zombies begin pouring out of the hovering sub, crashing into the snow and rushing
towards the town.
You had alerted the Rangers to the danger down there.
You see flares go up in the sky as frost giants begin clashing with the zombies.
Everybody go ahead and give me perception checks.
Oh, eight.
14.
Perception?
18.
18, okay.
Saul, you clock from here,
you sort of take on like a meditative mind
and really focus up on what's happening down there.
And you do see that the forces of the ice knife, they're
in a big, big trouble. But you notice that the people that are jumping out of the ship
are like Alexandrite zombies, not avatars of Alexandrite. So they've got that like wired
look of like the gray skinned mothership employees that you find after you defeat an avatar of Alexandrite.
So it seems like she still has the power to command them, but not like to zip her power
into different beings or whatnot.
So it looks like these are run-of-the-mill zombies.
Spreading yourself a little thin, aren't you?
Only as thin as the ice in this inferior village.
Ha ha ha.
Damn, did you download a jokebook or something?
I shattered your town.
Right.
After the lair action, Calder, that is your turn.
Calder, you see fires start going up in town.
The ice knife right now looks fucked.
You see houses start to go down like almost right away.
I point to Gowen's body and I say,
My brother trained those fighters down there.
And they can hold your army off.
And he trained me too.
And I walk forward.
I guess I go to Callie.
I think this is yours.
She looks at you, you know what a sword is still.
You know the context of the situation.
You mean the mean toothpicks?
How much of your brain got fried?
Did she scramble you too?
It doesn't feel good.
I forgot what zippers were for a second.
Oh, you mean shirts, Tief.
Yeah.
Callie, I already have a sword, and this one looks good on you,
but I'll borrow it for a second. It's you and see if I can hold her up for us
I trade swords with Cali. I give you shard
And I'll take I'll take three attacks on Alexandrite with the ice knife
Right. Yeah, you see she was being very cold and calculated with. As you start to run towards her with the ice knife,
she starts to try to back up and like teleport away,
but you're too fast.
You catch her a little bit flat-footed.
She's had to expand a lot of energy to raise this sub.
You are on thin ice and it's about to break.
That's two 23s and an 18 to hit.
The two 23s hit, the 18 does not.
So you hit her twice you see
she's able to gather herself and then she predicts your movement and moves
perfectly okay I'm gonna action surge and see if I can hit her with another
three wow right on that is a 27 hits a nat one and another 18 so I hit her four
times okay right on yeah so after you miss her that one time you do like a
very heavy
Unpredictable attack where you begin to swing the ice knife around and then you use all of your body to do kind of like
A whirlwind that ends up not working the second time you go around with the nat one and she's able to easily hop over
It and then she blocks the last one that sort of makes blades
Come out of her arm at like her forearms and holds them there
But she reacts to havoc like somebody reacting to fire.
You see the sort of tendrils licking out at her.
Ah, that's 68 damage.
Wow.
Woo.
And maybe I should have done this before, but staring in her eyes,
I took a feat as I leveled up.
I'm fey touched because of my connection, my proximity to the fey wild.
And after our interaction with Oberon, I have taken Hunter's Mark.
So maybe I should have done this before, but I feel like getting close up, getting a sniff of her,
now I'm going to as a bonus action cast Hunter's Mark on her.
Hell yes. Yeah, Calder, you see in her eyes as you stab into her with the ice
knife, there is real pain there. She fights with a cold calculating style, but she's gathered
just enough information from humans to know pain and you see she is feeling it in this
moment and you see fear and when the ice knife hits her, she gets a face like a trapped animal
and then charges begin going through her body.
She has to roll four times to see if she overcharges
and shifts forms.
Ooh. Oh wow.
Okay, on one of those, she overcharged.
Calder, go ahead and roll a D4 to see if she shifts.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What am I hoping for?
The lower the number you get, the bigger she gets,
but that doesn't necessarily mean it's easier.
They're all just different.
It's the same HP pool, I will say.
Okay, I got a two.
All right, as havoc goes into her,
she reacts and pushes it back,
and then sort of wills another gathering of power in her trying to
reject the havoc.
And you see as her body charges up, she begins to expand and she looks over and she sees
Gawain in the snow and she goes, if this being helped optimize your fighting style, Perhaps I could learn a few things from him
And you see she begins
Rapidly kind of changing forms as she goes through like all of the data in her head
See she looks down at Gawain and as she does her face begins taking on like more
Frost giant features she begins to expand and you see this weird
sick copy of Gawain appear in her face as she grows frost giant sized but then
also grows a strange scorpion lower half with a giant tail that points out at you
and she goes how does it feel looking into the face of your brother?
I was planning on saying you'll never be a real giant,
but with the scorpion tail,
I don't know if you want it to be.
Is this incorrect?
You see she's overloading and charging
and rewinding and repeating herself.
I mean, it's not even close, but it's impressive.
It is kinda scary. Yeah, I'd say don't lose the tail.
So she is a giant scorpion frost giant right now.
It does seem like she got a little bit mixed up with the virus.
She downloaded the Scorpion King.
We have every DVD in the mothership library.
After Calder's turn, that's Callie's turn.
Okay, so I can't cast spells, but are like Divine Smites, are they spells?
Divine Smites are not spells. Okay. So I'm Sid in the game. I'm gonna get
unhoney suckles back. See your honeysuckle looks kind of nervous at the giant scorpion. And I'm gonna be like,
you're using your dash action so that I can try to get some swipes on this scorpion. Honeysuckle
shoots forward and begins riding through the snow, hops in and out, is just completely immune. I also
am gonna stow shard so that it's out of sight. Right on, yeah, you hold it,
you put it on a hilt on your back.
Oh, I will also say, Calder, at the end of your turn,
you hear a voice go,
shh!
As Licorice flies out from the cave
now that havoc is gone,
Licorice has been freed and swims in through the snow right at your feet, Calder.
I'm so sorry.
And kind of side-eyes you.
Yeah, you're a good serpent. You're a good serpent. Yes.
As Licorice sees the sort of scorpion tail go up to get ready to strike down onto you, you see that Licorice gets up into sort of cobra fighting stance and gets ready to fight as well.
Kali, you go in for the attack on Honeysuckle's back.
Yeah, okay.
First attack is a 16 to hit.
16 does not hit.
You see the tail shoots out super fast and blocks, just like your brother used to do
during training, I'm sure.
Second attack is a 30.
A 30 super hits as she looks at, called her expectantly.
Callie, you get in there with your sword, starfire explodes.
You're doing that on your own. You should own it. That's kind of crazy.
Offhand, 24.
24 also hits. Yeah, you get up under her carapace.
Hell yeah.
My research said your brother is a giant scorpion.
Look at him, he's right there.
Again, it's the scorpion king.
She starts glitching out.
It's my other twin who loves the scorpion king.
That has to be it.
His other twin, yeah.
Gregor fucking loves the scorpion king.
Undebatable.
Eight on my flourish.
Wow.
So my AC is now 27.
Jesus.
Okay, so I'll say that Calli goes in, swings and hits with the Luck Blade.
Explosion of Starfire.
You see Alexandrite reacts and kind of backs up.
Calli then pulls out Shard as like her parrying sword and is basically able to like hide behind it.
76 damage. Oh my God.
Ow, ow, ow.
You made me feel really confused
and I've forgotten how to do some of my favorite spells.
You see that, yeah, a bunch of like ectoplasm
explodes from her sides.
You see her wound looks to be getting worse
and she has not been able to heal up.
You see she occasionally will take on like a glowing
white visage and try to like heal herself
and it is just not coming together.
And I think since Honeysuckle still has movement,
can I basically go get in the way of Gawain
so that she doesn't have line of sight on Gawain?
Yeah, Honeysuckle goes over,
barrels through the snow and sort of covers Gawain with that she doesn't have line of sight on Gawain. Oh yeah, yeah, Honeysuckle goes over, uh, barrows through the snow and sort of covers
Gawain with his rocky carapace.
Cool.
After Kaliope's turn-
Oh, do I get to do a thing to try to-
Oh yes, go ahead and try to get your spells back.
Oh yeah.
Sixteen.
Sixteen does not do it.
Kali, you still feel the static in your brain.
God, I need a fucking coffee or something.
Gawain, do you have a coffee?
Gawain is just laying there.
If Saul didn't have a connection to life,
you would just think Gawain was dead.
I can't believe I'm gonna base myself,
but do you have like an energy drink?
You're talking to his feet, Callie.
After Calliope's turn,
Alexandrite is going to burn two legendary actions and use a tail attack.
So you do see that the giant tail flies down
and is going to snap out at Kali.
Let me go ahead and make an attack roll.
Oh my God, I forgot you have a 28.
Well, I already have a 27.
27, 27.
Just a 27.
I already made my decision.
I have a plus 14 to hit here,
so if I get a 13 or higher, I will hit you and that is a natural one. So you see
Flies forward just goes into the snow sort of
Unceremoniously dinks off of shard as you use it as a parrying blade. CG's just really bad
Oh, I didn't add my eight. Sorry. So I didn't do 76 damage. I did 84 damage
Okay, you see just an extra spring shoots out from her shoulder.
Ow!
Yeah, sorry, the flourish is sometimes delayed.
You tore my mechanical rotator cuff.
Next in the initiative is Kenna.
Yeah.
Is anybody hurt?
Kenna goes, is anyone injured? I definitely am. Who requires a squire? I require the squire. Yeah. Is anybody hurt? Kenna goes, is anyone injured?
I definitely am.
Who requires a Squire?
I require the Squire.
Okay.
Callie.
She runs over and is going to give a full potion to you.
So we'll do an action potion.
That's 20 HP.
Yeah.
So she shoves a potion in your mouth
and she's going to bonus action Squire inspiration Calder
because he's got the ice knife right now.
Oh, right. Thanks, Kena.
Just so you know, Mr. Kilday, your brother is not a giant scorpion.
She's trying to trick you.
Oh, she's so fucked up that she would go there.
You get a d4 for the round as if you have Bless, and that is the end of her turn.
After Kennes' turn, that is end of the round.
That is the battle for the village.
So the army of Alexandrite is going to face off with the Rangers of the Frigid North.
You hear the clanging of steel echo in the distance as the warriors engage, but there
are hundreds of zombies that just appeared out of nowhere, smoke and fires begin going up, and you already
see some of the lakeside houses have been destroyed.
Possibly even Boris Friggs, possibly.
Not Boris's.
We're going to do a contested roll.
The zombies have a huge advantage right now, but things might change in later rounds.
You guys are going to add plus two to this.
I'm going to add plus ten and roll with advantage.
However much the zombies win by, that's what percentage of the village is destroyed.
Depending on how much of it's destroyed, that's when we'll start rolling to see if people
like Gregor might have been killed.
People like Mira or Ur.
Jesus.
So, who wants to roll for the warriors of the frigid north? I want to they're my people
No
I wrote the net one. No
That is a three oh
I roll with advantage Wow
That sucks. Oh, no, I rolled in at 20
Why do why why did we do this? Oh, no, that is
30 on my end and three on your end. Oh so
Fully more than a quarter of the village has been destroyed
Oh you guys watch and
Unfortunately, it looks like there were not enough Rangers around the lake and you guys see just a ring of fire going around the town square
They're starting to get into like the residential district. They're going like beyond the Warriors
You do hear horns going up and see signal fires and stuff Rangers from the towers are rushing down on the backs
of like giant dire goats and stuff trying to get there in time but they
have placed themselves right in the middle of the town and things are already
terrible you're at risk of the entire town being wiped out at the top of the
round Saul that is your turn.
I look down at the devastation in the town and I turn to
Alexandrite and I say, it has to end here. All you do is take
and take. You say this is your network. It's just control. Just
say what it is.
This is progress, Saul. The village was safe until you impeded my plan. These
are the consequences of your actions. You will be eliminated.
It's not over yet. You're not the only one riding Destiny today.
And what I want to do is pull out the flare gun I have.
Okay. And try and just get a signal to the town
to let them know we're fighting.
Okay.
Let them know that we're up here fighting as well.
Right on.
I will let you do this as a minor action.
Ooh.
Go ahead and as you shoot the flare up,
give me a perception check.
Okay. 16. Saul. You see
flares going up from everywhere. You see signal fires that the people of the
village are getting together to fight here. And you go to shoot off a flare to
say that, hey, we're part of this fight as well. And as you do, you see this explosion of light, but you also see a
brief shadow go past you. It almost is like an eclipse where it's like you've got all this light
coming down from this flare, but then something passes it and you see a giant flying through the
sky towards the rift, looking like they're preparing to do something
on a lower initiative.
Interesting.
Yeah, I'm gonna say that I shot that kind of like
directly over the nose of Alexandrite as kind of a faint,
and then I'm going to backstep towards Callie,
and then I'm going to use enough ki
to restore her highest spell slot
that she lost from smiting.
Whoa. Oh, so you're giving she lost from smiting. Whoa.
Sit.
Whoa, so you're giving me a fourth level back?
Yeah.
Thank you, thank you.
Snap out of it, Callie.
Okay, yeah, I need to get together.
You know what I'll say, with this rush of Ki going into you,
go ahead and give me an intelligence saving throw
with advantage. Oh yeah.
This is a huge help.
16 and a 14.
Okay, you still, you know how to smite? God damn, do you know how to smite god damn do you know
how to smite Wow I don't know spells but I know that you're amazing
rest of the vegetation that's an easy way to do that you know you know this
guy though right yeah yeah hold her what I point at Saul just baseball we're
getting there the giant scorpion woman goes that's not how the effect works.
I can't explain this.
I'm really bad with names
and it's finally fucking coming out.
Wait, my records say you're very good friends.
They also said my brother was a scorpion,
so check him again.
It's wrong, but I'm flattered.
Okay, so also that'll be an action
to give her back a spell slot,
but that's no joke, that's like five, 68s of damage.
Sick.
Five D8.
And then I'll use a bonus action to cast patient defense
on myself.
And I'll just kind of like jump around Daffy Duck style
in front of her.
We have this on DVD as well.
Don't use it.
You think I don't know what Daffy Duck dodge
when I see one.
We must secure that library.
After Saul's turn, she'll take a legendary action, tries to swipe at Saul.
That is a 25 on the lower one.
Oh, OK.
So even with the defensive move, you're hit.
Yeah. OK.
Saul, you take 22 damage.
All right. As you are spiked into into the snow still trying to dodge back and forth
You guys see the fires of the village going up in the background. I'm going to
Rebuke the violent is our reaction. Oh, yeah, you can still use your skills. Yeah
Okay, so as a reaction, I'm gonna be like you don't do that to fucking colder
Wisdom save or she takes 22 something to me
radiant she gets a 21 that saves okay she takes 11 damage while
we're on the reaction train I'll go ahead and hellish rebuke as
well right on she passes she has very high mental save us that's
10 damage 10 fire damage okay then that's already half so she
save. So that's 10 damage. 10 fire damage. Okay, and that's already halved so she reacts this giant scorpion version of her reacts as she's hit by this fire
after Saul's turn that is Alexandrite's turn proper she is going to make two
claw attacks she's got basically all of you guys within reach so she's going to
take one claw attack at Callie.
That is only a 17 to hit, only rolled a three.
My AC is 27 right now.
I mean, pinks off of shards that you're just hiding behind
like a full wall.
Sorry, what were you reaching for?
I'm just teaching you a classic parry
like Gawain did during the training.
I'm doing mental games
with him Saul Bufo looks like Calder
Yes
What she's saying is starting to make sense. I understand that I am malfunctioning
But I am quickly getting back all of my information
Looks like me Calder ribbits. It's gonna take a crack at Saul
Fucking 34 on the first roll.
Oh god, and a 32 on the second roll.
So he's definitely going to hit you.
So as she just pinks off and misses Callie,
because she just like strikes Shard,
swings around and hits you, Saul, for 23 damage.
Okay.
After the two claw attacks, she's going to swing down with her tail at Calder.
Jesus Christ, that's a natural 20.
You guys see it goes directly into Calder's chest.
Calder, give me a Constitution saving throw.
24.
That is very good that you rolled that high, because that is, with the crit, 35 piercing
damage.
Calder, this would have been 82 damage if you failed on the poison.
Instead it's going to be 41 damage.
Okay, that's amazing.
82 damage literally would have brought me down by one.
So I'm up.
Okay, wow. Okay, so you guys see this tail spikes into Calder's chest
and she injects him with a crazy amount of like psychic poison.
Calder, you feel yourself like lose control of your body.
You feel your brain get this like heavy fog
and you feel Alexandrite starting to like look with your eyes as she's trying to like essentially consume you and your thoughts and your power.
But you shake out of it and are able to pull back and survive this wild attack.
But you see you have this grievous wound in your chest.
Oh damn I'm leaking goo too.
After Alexandrite's turn that is another layer action.
You see, Alexandrite reaches out towards the mothership sub
and telekinetically pulls a metal chunk off of it
that comes flying towards her.
As it reaches her, like, scorpion feet, she jumps on it.
Just basically has, like, a giant metal, like, hover it just basically has like a giant metal
like hoverboard for herself like a giant disk she begins rising away from the
nearby rocks and boulders as once again she pulls at the mountain's core with
telekinetic force to cause an earthquake everybody go ahead and give me deck
saving throws.
19!
Okay Callie you just passed.
It's just a 10.
I got a nat 1.
Wow, brutal.
Calder and Saul,
you guys take 24 damage.
Oh fucking hell.
And are buried in the snow.
So Cali,
you look around you
as the dust settles. You see there are huge fissures around
the mountain now. She has risen up so that she wouldn't be affected by this as she kind of hovers
over the mountain here. But you see huge parts of the mountain have collapsed and Calder, Kenna,
and Saul have all disappeared. You don't see them. According to my calculations,
your chances of survival have just decreased significantly.
Okay, I actually just heard my chances speaking.
So that was good. Saul, you down there?
She begins indiscriminately shooting laser beams at her eyes with the snow.
Where did you hear that? Where was that coming from?
20 circle, 20 circle!
Okay
Calder that is your turn after the lair action. Okay, so
It's a DC 20 strength check to crawl your way out. All right. I also have Misty step
Could I use that? Yes, you are not buried 30 feet down, so you can hop back up.
Okay, then I'm going to Frosty Step, turn into a bunch of mist, and rematerialize above the rubble.
Callie, you see Calder appears next to you above the snow.
I'm Calder. Calder.
Yeah, I'm starting to remember. I think I'm shaking the fog from my head.
All right, let's get her.
Calder, that's just a bonus action.
So you may continue to act.
Actually, as Calder emerges, I kind of want to be like,
do you want me to go start mowing down zombies?
Calder looks down and I think he's like bleeding and dazed
and he sees this town being overrun.
And he almost like instinctively just drifts to go there.
And he hears Callie say that and...
Callie, it's...
I want to help them too.
But...
It's just gonna be my town, then the next town, then the next town.
We have to stand and fight.
Er, we have to stay here.
Okay.
As you say that, Calder, you guys hear a little voice on the wind go,
Aha! Greetings, fine Peregrin. I think there might be a way for us to have our cake and eat it too.
Good, cause I'm fucking hungry.
I'm starving.
Did you stop for cake?
No, it takes a while to fly up super high, communicating to you on the wind.
Okay, what's the game plan? I can lend you a hand, but I'll need this gate open if you wouldn't mind.
The rules of physics in your world are quite limited.
I need a bit of fey magic.
And you see what Saul had seen before, this figure flying through the air.
You do see a cloud giant shape up by the rift.
Uh, Garrosh.
Mmm, bit of fey magic. You can make it rain on all the fire.
Oh.
Um, so, Calder, that is the rest of your turn.
I will say this.
There is a risk to opening the gate with Alexandrite this close,
but it doesn't seem like she will have enough movement
provided that she keeps getting hit with Havoc. I will tell you that you have the components to
open the gate if you would like. Yeah, I position my back so he sees Shard. Yeah, you've got Shard
and the Ice Knife in order to do that. In order to open the gate, it starts as a DC 25 Arcana check,
but the DC goes down by three each time you get a 15 or
better. It'll go down by five if you get a 20 or better. So you might have to game it with bardic
inspirations and things like that. But anytime you do a pretty good job, it becomes easier the next
time. Okay. And anyone can do this. It doesn't just have to be Calder, but you are the one that
you have the components right now. Okay.
Yeah, I'm standing here beside Callie and I'm just gonna nod at you and say,
the one thing she doesn't know how to do
is the one thing we do know how to do.
Take a leap of faith, trust each other, and take a chance.
And I'm gonna run at her and attack twice.
Two 24s.
Both hit.
Nice.
Can I use Ultris' helm to add to D12s?
Yeah.
Yeah, dude.
Yeah, you see, yeah, glowing muscles
as Calder takes on the form of like a greater frost giant.
You see, he gets enormous as he swings.
The spirit of all of the Frost Giants
here in the Frigid North swinging with him.
57 damage.
Wow!
Nice.
Calder, you get in there with the Ice Knife. You see she starts to shrink back and kind
of hiss at you, again taking on this sort of like animalistic reaction to seeing havoc.
You swing into her twice. It wounds her again for the full round. She once again cannot
escape this round. All right, Calli, the Feywild's knocking. Yeah, better answer.
And then I turn with the third attack and I combine the Iceknife with Shard. Right on. And I had kind
of forgotten the battlefield, but Licorice acts on your turn anyway and Licorice can fly. So I'll say literally as you go up to Kali, who's sort of clinging to the
side of the mountain here, you climb out of this snow after you've just been
covered by this avalanche. You guys share this moment, make this decision together.
Licorice whips out of the snow, gets under you, you fly up and meet her, attack
her twice, back up and start
flying up towards the rift, you cross both swords and attempt to cast a spell through
it, you see the glowing green rift begins to shimmer, go ahead and give me an arcana
check.
22.
Okay, it goes down by 5, so the DC is now 20 to completely open it.
So you see green light begins cascading down
onto the mountain here.
You see green everywhere and Garrosh goes,
good show, very good.
Just a little bit more there Peregrin, ah.
As you hold these two swords atop,
Licorice, after your turn,
Alexandrite has to roll twice to see if she overcharges
and changes.
That is a nat one, she changes.
Go ahead and roll me a d4.
That's a one.
A one.
You see the scorpion-like carapace at the bottom
of her body begins growing as havoc flows through her and she begins
to lose control.
You see the faces of the hundreds of the thousands of people and data she has gathered.
You see all of these faces growing with her as she expands to become a giant gargantuan monster.
You see she straight up flattens this hoverboard thing
that she was flying on and just becomes part of the mountain
as just a giant gooey mess of faces and wires.
Oh no.
Calder, what have you done?
I, where did you learn this one, Alexandra?
I haven't seen this movie.
What movie is this from?
A number of them. Akira.
After Calder's turn, she is going to lash out at...
I'll say she's going to take a crack at Licorice as you're up in the sky here.
Oh, what have I done?
That is a 19 to hit Licorice. I have a question. Yeah
Can my mounted combatant come in to play here? I will say if you were on licorice it would
That is going to be
20 damage to licorice. Okay licorice has
45 HP.
So you do see this hurts him quite a bit.
He reacts as Starfire explodes out of him,
kind of undoing the magic that he's made out of.
Calder, you are rattled and almost thrown from the saddle here
as you're flying in the air.
Now you're taking it too far.
After the legendary action, that is Kaliope's turn. Can we get to
Alexandrite you can get to Alexandrite with the help of
Honeysuckle who can essentially climb the mountains. All right, we're doing precisely that
You see honeysuckle bursts out and you see he's carrying Gowan with him
So brings Gowan up places Gowan like on on the side of the mountain here so that he's not buried in the snow.
Calder, you just watch as you're flying high in the sky, battling this giant monster.
Callie begins just riding vertically up the mountain with Honeysuckle.
She has a ski lift.
I have a load.
And I'm taking out my luck plane and let's fucking do this.
First attack is a 26 to hit.
26 of course hits.
Second attack is a 22 to hit.
Both hit.
Offhand is a nat 20!
Yes!
Yes bitch!
Yes, Callie, I'll say that you and Honeysuckle are just a perfect tandem here. You fly up the cliff face with incredible
speed and then honeysuckle launches at the last second and you torpedo at her and actually swing
through her and land on another side of the mountain as honeysuckle grips the rocks here.
May not use magic but that was magical. I'm doing three fourth level Smites.
I'm burning a fifth level spell slot.
But I know that 5d8 is the total
because I only have two left.
One of them, thanks to Sol.
And now let me roll.
That's 134 damage.
Oh no!
And my AC is, because I rolled a six on my bardic,
so my AC is 25.
Absolutely wild.
Kali goes directly through this enormous,
amorphous form of Alexandrite,
and as she lets out this explosive starfire energy,
riding Honeysuckle like a rocket,
you see she reforms reforms and there's literally
just less matter left.
She just gets a little bit smaller from that hit.
And you hear a thousand cries and screams
going out from her at once.
As there's all this mechanical malfunctioning and overcharging.
I think you need a system update.
After you say that deep in the snow, I'm just thinking of quips.
What was that?
That's what I'm gonna say when I get out.
After Callie's turn, she's going to burn two legendary actions and attempt to consume
Calliope. You see wires shoot out and
like wrap around Calliope and she begins to drag her towards this giant amorphous
network of trapped people. I realize I didn't try to kick the fact that I can't
cast spells. Oh yeah yeah go ahead and make an intelligence heavy throw. Nat 20! Yes!
Nice!
Okay.
Along with that crit.
Fucking hell.
Oh my god.
Fuck yeah.
Callie, you look up and you see the shimmering power
of the Feywild and it almost looks like the stars above
take on kind of a purple like Fey twilight.
You see the night sky starts to change
and you're reminded of your
childhood magic and all of the power rushes back to you.
I didn't realize how much I fucking miss home.
But as you say that Kaliope the wires wrap around you and she attempts to pull
you in to consume you as she has these other people so I'm gonna go ahead and
roll she's got a plus 14 to this to hit nine that is 23 to hit. Mrs. Insane turn from Callie so I'll say like I didn't
even have to use my reaction to defensive duelist. Callie no sweat dodges
this as she as she lands and swings through as she's going to like sheath her
blade cuts through the cables that we're trying to drag her in.
You could learn a thing or two from her.
What, like it's hard?
I agree. I will consume her.
You can try.
After that legendary action, Kenna is going to try to get out from the snow.
Kenna's had a rough go of it.
She actually has good athletics, so she might be able to get out from the snow. Kenna's had a rough go of it. She actually has good athletics,
so she might be able to get out here.
Digging up from holes is like an iron deep sport.
Shout outs to the two crew.
She stays buried,
but since we allowed it as a free action,
I'll allow her to do it again as an actual action.
So she's burning up some of her action economy here.
That passes.
So you see Kenna sort of bruised and battered.
She does not have as much HP as you guys
and these lair actions and earthquakes and avalanches
have fucked her right up.
You just hear heavy panting as she climbs up
through the snow.
Sorry, did anybody get hurt?
Is everybody okay?
She looks up and just sees this giant bulbous monster
and you guys flying through the air I am really hurt by the way see she's too she can't
navigate where you guys are at right now so she's just going to shout up to you
Calder and go I'm not entirely sure of the context, it looks like
the battlefield has changed a lot, Mr. Kilday, but I have faith in you!
This whole village has faith in you!
That's why they call you Giant Heart!
That lands.
And she's gonna hit you with another Squire Inspiration.
Yeah!
Thank you. And she's gonna hit you with another Squire inspiration. Yeah, thank you after
Kenna's turn no more legendaries this round, but an initiative ten it is garage's turn
Hey, garage is up there holding an action ready to do something when the gate is open looks like he's preparing some kind of great
spell
After that we are back to the fight for the town
Here's the deal though that last time they got an advantage, they're not going to get
advantage anymore because they're out of their surprise round of the battle, so they've taken
a significant portion of the town.
You see frost giants retreating, but then they're gathering up and they have carved
out barriers and things like that and are fighting back against the zombies. It's still plus two versus plus ten, so bad news right now, but will not be as bad
as last time, hopefully. Calder, go ahead and give me a roll.
Okay.
That's a nat 20. YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E Oh my god! Home town boy makes good. When the tides turn, they turn baby!
Okay, that's a
24 from
the zombies, but I will say with a nat
20, this round is a stalemate.
So you see as the zombies
start to invade,
start to go towards like residential
districts and stuff, you see giant
forms coming down from the mountains,
frost giants on mammoths
coming from the towers, begin clashing with the zombies and just wrecking them like five
at a time.
There are so many more zombies than there are giants, but they are like flicking them
away as they pound at them with great clubs.
They are holding their ground for now.
We don't lose at all.
After the battle, the end of the of the round saw that is your turn saw you find yourself deep in the snow
It needs it. It's a DC 20 athletics check to get out
Would you let me lower that if I use step of the wind to double my jump?
Yes, you know what? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So your particular abilities I do think lend to getting out
So I actually I'll tell you what if you step of the wind we can change this to an acrobatics check
Oh athletics sick. All right, great. Yeah, I like prepare to corkscrew out. Yeah, I'll say I mean you have like magic monk ability
So you're able to jump even though you don't have very much footing
I charge my quads and I prepare to leap.
Great, yeah.
You basically like magically prepare like a landing
for you to get leverage off of, for you to jump up.
Acrobatics is plus nine.
Damn it, that's an 18.
Oh!
You surge up.
You'll have to use an action now to try to get out,
but I'll let you roll with advantage on this one.
Here we go, rolling again. With my ac acrobatics that is just a 20 that's it okay you
perfectly make it out you see right next to Kenna Saul pops out they're both just
so tired arm on her shoulder and I'll hunt you you're good things you know
things have gotten really weird in the past couple minutes.
She is just like mostly goo now, huh?
She's mostly goo. The gate's mostly open.
They're... yeah. It's really tiring getting out of the snow.
Just... you know what? You heal yourself. You need that. You need it here.
Hey.
I just kind of slap her in the cheek.
Yeah, yeah, you too. She slaps you.
Alright, yeah. That's my turn. Okay, do you have any bonus actions or anything? My bonus action was Step of the cheek. Yeah, you too. She slaps you. Ah. All right, yeah, that's my turn.
Okay, do you have any bonus actions or anything?
My bonus action was Step of the Wind.
Okay.
But I have my reaction back,
so I'm gonna be ready to silvery barbs if you'd be.
Okay, so Saul, you get back in position.
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Hey there, NAD Polls.
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while your subscription is active. Thank you, everybody. to do there is no fucking lair but that is her actual turn she is the layer so she is going to swing out and make a claw attack at both of the mounts as you
guys are kind of like circling her one coming off of like the cliff face
honeysuckle and licorice is flying so first we'll go after honeysuckle 23 to
hit honeysuckle I'm gonna mounted combatant, force it to target me instead.
Okay, and this is cool.
And that misses because of my part of defense.
Callie, you're riding up, you pull out your sword
and you just slash and cut through the gooey tendril.
You stay away from my fucking baby.
Nom nom nom.
Then next one goes after Licorice.
You stay away from my fucking baby.
Looks up at you hopefully calder natural one
this is licorice yes wow that's like the only way i could have missed licorice okay amazing with the
last action though is going to attempt to calder's holding havoc so she doesn't want to consume calder
Calder's holding Havoc so she doesn't want to consume Calder. Is gonna try again to consume Kali
Okay, have to take a calculated risk here. Cali-Q-ated. A Cali-Q-ated risk here
Okay, so she has plus 14 hit on this
30 to hit
With my defensive duelist I can only get up to 29. Okay.
Silvery Bar!
Yes!
Silvery Bar!
Get out of the snow just in time!
Brace me!
Brace me, Kenna!
Kenna and Saul hold onto each other.
Saul, you reach your hands up, you use like your connection to, you know, fungi and stuff around here
and like pull from the mountain and you see the mountain actually begins to shift and
she has to swing around a different way to hit Callie with a tendril.
And that's only a 22.
Yeah!
I'm sorry, did you not consider when you were calculating your risk,
did you not consider frog magic?
I thought that was a myth oh
no there is frog magic she begins to short-circuit searching frog magic
frog magic yeah you see she begins to overload as she tries to contemplate the
idea of frog magic that is the end of her turn.
And then Calder, that is your turn.
You're on top of licorice here.
All right.
Callie, do you want to open this gate or no?
I want to watch you do it.
I can't do it without you.
And I'll take three swings to open this gate.
Okay.
All right.
Go ahead and give me the first one.
Maybe you'll get it on number one.
That is a 22.
Calder.
You hold both swords up.
You feel your attachment to your friends,
your attachment to the Feywild surging through you
as you hold the ice knife.
You feel the love of your mother and your family
coming through. Shard, you see the ice knife lights up and the Sylvan runes. You innately
understand them in this moment even though you don't read Sylvan. Break down and then Shard
begins to glow. The Sylvan runes, the gate break down the gate. You see Calder's eyes glow
green and he begins speaking in Sylvan as he says, break down the gate. And you see
the rift in the sky cracks open in a burst of light. There is a great parting of shimmering
green energy. After a bright flash that lights up the night
like an exploding sunrise, your eyes settle
and you can see a shimmering reflection
of Callie's home world, the Feywild, above you.
The image is warped almost as if you're looking
at something through a glass bottle,
but you can just make out the lush greenery
and overgrowth.
A world of tangible magic. Flowers seem to glow in the purple light of the Fae Twilight.
And as the new world opens, Garrosh begins siphoning energy from it by breathing it in.
You see he had prepared a reaction. Air begins to warp around him like he is in
the eye of a storm. You guys feel yourselves thrown back and forth with the power of the
wind, like almost like you're gonna get thrown off of this mountain. But then you are settled
in place, pushed as much as you are pulled, hovering there, cradled by a master of the sky manipulating the weather in perfect pockets.
Finally, he releases a swirling ball of air that explodes and then begins sucking all
of the wind around it, creating a godly gust.
And in that great burst of air, you see help arrives.
Sails, riding, a great north wind, half a dozen airships, some from the Frostwind Army and
others from Esri and Mob Goblin.
The flying machines rocket through the sky until they land directly over the village,
effectively fast traveling halfway across the continent.
As the winds calm and the ships halt to a stop. You hear the crews screaming in terror,
followed by a confused silence,
followed by rallying cries as they jump into action
to help the village against the zombies.
You see goblins with mini guns begin firing charged bolts
from the decks at the invaders.
Frost dwarves begin rappelling out of their ship
while others begin firing down with crossbows.
A moment later, you see the frozen fist
and their dog sleds fly in on a tornado.
Aaaaaaah!
Then settle in and begin charging in
to help with the attack.
This will bump up your ally significantly in the end of the round melee. The
village now has a fighting chance. They were able to use their own resources to fight to a stalemate.
It looks like they were able to protect like the residential area, but now they've got backup coming
in from the sky. As you see, they start firing at the submersible submersible starts firing
back at those guys Calder that was just one action baby you got you got to
damn I look into the Feywild and I asked Kelly damn why did you ever leave I
think I needed to leave to be worthy of it let Let's go home. And I'm gonna turn and take two more swings at Alexandrite.
That is a 24 and a dirty 20 to hit.
Both hit.
I will use the Helm of Ultras one more time as well.
Okay, you see, especially with this Bay magic opened up,
Calder takes on the look of like a primordial frost giant
almost made of ice as he swings through her
I am the little one
Should have fucked with me
Smulder kill day. I heard you are called
Unlearn that unlearn that right now. Just your timing is awful
It's no Cali, but that is a 66. She's
It's no Kali but that is a 66. Jesus.
Yeah.
Okay.
She looks like she is on Death's Door.
You see, as you break through it,
you do like what Kali did
and you literally just remove matter from her body.
You're cutting away as you see basically bodies
from within her like reaching out to attack you
and you were just like cutting them free
and you see it sort of evaporates
as it breaks away from her. Her mass begins decreasing and decreasing attack you and you are just like cutting them free and you see it sort of evaporates as
it breaks away from her.
Her mass begins decreasing and decreasing and you hear screams in a million different
voices as she recoils from havoc.
She needs to roll to see if she changes into something else.
She does not.
She stays as the giant monster version of her. Okay. After
Calder's turn, she's going to take a legendary action. Once again, just try to swipe at Licorice,
knock Calder out of the sky. That is 29 hit Licorice. Yeah. And is there a, I can't, I
can't do anything like mounted combat and I don't have that feat. You don't have mounted
combat and shields not going to do anything. 31 damage.
You guys see Licorice is struck by a tendril,
exploding out from her, snaps through him,
he looks up and bursts into starfire magic.
Calder, you just had this epic moment,
but you are now free falling into the sky.
I reach my hand into the sky and I cast Feather Fall.
Oh, I really needed that.
Wow.
I know you are low on hit points.
Calder.
I'm very low.
I didn't have to use my defensive duelist.
Calder, what are you thinking in this moment
as you wonder if it might be all over for you
because you're looking over at your village,
you do see that there's hope for it.
You do see that you've opened up the gate, Alexandrite looks very hurt, but you're about to
fall off the side of this mountain when you're greatly injured, your mount has disappeared out
from under you, and you begin just free-falling backwards. I think Calder never wanted to be
a hero, he just didn't want to be protected, he didn't want to be sheltered,der never wanted to be a hero. He just didn't want to be protected.
He didn't want to be sheltered.
He just, he wanted to feel useful.
So I think Calder is actually falling
and he shuts his eyes and he's at peace.
Calder, you in this moment know that you've done all that you can to protect this village.
All that you've ever wanted to do was to be worthy to protect it.
And you know that you've done that.
You begin falling back.
Never wanted to be protected.
But it's good when your friends look out for you.
You feel a little rush of air under you as you see Kali holding her hand up from the
side of the cliff?
It's like a little nest of duck feathers.
Saul and Kenna have their hands held up.
Saul's just used his powers to be able to stop Kali from being consumed.
Kenna's just giving you this inspiration and you fall safely next to Kenna and Saul.
That's what a network looks like.
It's nice when your friends have your back.
Kenna runs over and gives you a big hug.
After that legendary action,
Calliope, that is your turn.
Okay, Calliope is looking into the skies.
She's looking into her skies.
She's smelling the wafting fragrances
of the Feywild with such a hungry little nose for it. The eucalyptus and the lavender and
the honey and the cedar and the cinnamon and she's drinking it all in and something that's been knotted inside of her finally relaxes for
the first time in a long time. And I think she looks at Alexandrite with like, just so
fucking happy to be going home. And she says, I'm going home and you're not fucking coming
with me. And I'm going home and you're not fucking coming with me.
And I'm going to attack her. Yeah.
Honeysuckle rom rom rom launches off the side of the mountain.
You guys watch from below as you see Callie and honeysuckle arc through the sky.
That's another not 20.
Let's do it.
Oh, my good God. Oh, the dice are sharp.
Ever since the fucking Feywild opened. Yay! Let's do it. Oh my good god. Oh, the dice are sharp.
Ever since the fucking Feywild opened.
Okay, then a 28.
And then my off hand is,
off hand's an 18, that's probably gonna miss, yeah?
18 hits her when she's gargantuan.
Really?
Has different stats.
Stats change.
Okay.
Different stats.
I'm going to, I was saving my fifth level spell
for a Hail Mary spell, but I'm feeling confident right now.
So I'm going to turn it into,
I'm going to use it like a fourth level spell
for a Smite for that crit.
133 damage.
Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe He and honeysuckle arc As I let her know, you won't be coming back to the Feywild.
You and Honeysuckle arc through the sky, torpedo at her.
Callie, you're aiming yourself like a jouster, looking for just the right spot.
You see she's this big amorphous blob, and it's kind of hard to make sense of her, but you start
to follow sort of her networks and see different like charges going through it.
And you see amongst all of the faces, the face of her, the face, the human face of Alexandrite,
like the original being that had been created by Mothership. You strike directly through the face
and you guys watch from below
as there's this explosion of light
coming up from the Shimmering Rift,
coming from Kali's sword.
Alexandrite explodes, deflates,
matter just this disgusting goo
flops off in all directions, breaking her apart.
And not far from you guys, you see an extremely weakened base Alexandrite,
just covered in wires, extremely injured, crashes into the snow. Just the size of a humanoid woman
just the size of a humanoid woman begins crawling through the snow towards you.
I am disconnecting from the others.
You cannot do this.
You are impeding evolution.
I put my foot on her back
and shove her down into the ground.
Yeah, Callie lands with Honeysuckle next to you guys
and Callie holds Alexandrite down.
No, no, what about all of the progress we could make?
We could be one being of endless knowledge.
You are throwing away so much, so much knowledge.
Can you turn this thing off, Callie?
Not every field needs to be a farm.
She, as you say that, it just doesn't compute to her. But we could make so many things. Yeah, and sometimes I don't really feel like making a thing. Sometimes things don't need progress
or to be changed or to be more efficient or to be more productive than perfect as they are. No, no, nothing is perfect. We must correct the mistakes. We are
striving for perfection. We must evolve to perfection. You see her wires begin to shrivel
up. Her skin begins to kind of dry out and she's just reaching up this kind of wired exoskeleton.
up this kind of wired exoskeleton. There is so much we can do!
No.
We don't want you.
We don't want this.
It's okay for life to have a few drop stitches, don't you get that?
The imperfection is the point.
Yeah, sometimes you're just supposed to let things be.
Yeah, I'm here representing the weeds and the wildflowers.
And we don't really want to be tilled.
These weeds are going to choke you to death.
I want to hand Callie the ice knife by the hilt and say,
Char's my mother's sword. This is the one that I want.
The ice knife is yours.
Can I take the sword and then say,
something I learned from a good friend is always keep
them guessing and throw the ice knife to Sol.
Sol, you catch the sword.
What?
Why though?
Why though?
Frog magic.
She's out towards you, Sol.
Please, magic.
Sol jumps up in the air in helicopters with it.
I couldn't possibly have predicted this.
Forsworn!
I slam down right into her mechanical heart.
You do multiple flips in the air using the momentum from you holding this giant sword and cut through Alexandrite.
You see her head detaches from her body and rolls.
As the last flickers of life leave her eyes,
you hear her go, they may not hear me anymore,
but they still know their mission.
And she dies with a little smile on her face.
As you see, there's still a battle in the town
Let's go ahead and roll so now you guys have
So I was rolling with plus 10 you guys now have plus 12 and you roll with advantage because they're surprised this time by the
Yeah, right, okay, so I will roll for alexandrite forces. I got a 21 over here
Fuck yeah.
With a plus 12, that's 29. Okay, so you see that-
Don't you also have a Squire die
just to like really try and beef it up?
Oh yeah, you do have a Squire die.
Why not beef it?
Oh wow it.
Beef it up.
That's a four on the Squire die.
Thanks for the reminder.
That's a 32. Hell yes.
Okay.
You guys watch as the battle really begins to turn.
Now that there is all this backup here,
these ships from Esri begin shooting down,
and you even see, you know that like Ma Goblin
and Albin and stuff are hackers.
So they're just letting out these like giant bursts
of energy that are like dispel magics
that just like destroy these cyborgs as soon as they hit them.
And the fact that you guys weakened Alexandrite means that these are just kind
of run of the mill, like mechanical zombies.
So they die as soon as they're hit with like a dispel magic.
They start breaking up.
You guys see the frost giants are rallying.
You hear screams going up as you guys watch from like the edge of the world here
and you see even like Garrosh is up there bringing great winds and like blowing away the submersible
trying to like knock it into the mountain to like break it apart and as that's happening you see a
tiny figure getting closer as they come into view you see a man in a newsboy cap and
an ill-fitting wizard robe on a flying broom begins flying towards you and you
see Albin arrives on the side of the mountain
I was looking for you you see he's holding this device to like track you he
swoops down gives you a huge hug
and throws you on the back of his broom.
There's a fight, listen, I cast Haste by myself
so that I would be able to catch up to everyone.
I know that we have a lot to talk about.
I thought, oh wow, wow, wow, you killed her, you killed her.
He points down.
We have a chance now, we finally have a chance.
You got it, lead the way.
All right, he tosses a couple flying brooms
towards you guys.
What? Oh! Oh, we hop on
Uh, honey suckle
Nom nom nom
I might try the broom
You see, he goes into the snow and begins burrowing his way towards the town
But is gonna be a little bit slower
I saw that wavy dispel magic beam and I knew it was your signature wave on it I knew it was you yeah my goblin thought it'd be
cooler if there was like a shimmering explosion but I was like waves you got
to do waves you got to do it you have to do it you got to keep it way and I'm
feeling down I'm feeling that I usually cast a stone other people but this time
I'm casting on myself I brought pot. I brought potions. I brought potions everyone. Do people anyone need a potion? Yeah, I'll take five. I'll take five. Can I have five?
I have four.
I'll take four. I'll take four.
You want all four? Looks over at Calder bleeding. Ew. Are you alive, Calder? You okay?
I mean, she did a lot.
Alright.
Yeah.
Oh, the healing. I thought they were just like general mischief potions.
Any kind of potions?
Oh, okay.
We thought it was what you were on.
Oh, right. No, that's a haste. That's a haste. Yes. I'm gonna-ions? We thought it was what you were on.
Oh, right. No, that's a haste. That's a haste.
There's going to be a hard come down from this.
You see, Albin gets ready with his broom when he's ready to go when you guys are.
Okay, yeah. Take a sit for a second. I'm hearing a heartbeat from here and that is not normal.
Right on, right on.
Okay, I'm going to grab the head of Alexandrite. I'm gonna like bag it up. I guess I'll use, I don't know
if I have anything that's gonna be like fully mechanically proofed or anything
but I guess I'll just put it in a garbage bag. I have several bags. We could
like triple bag this thing. Oh, we get a triple bag it? Of course. Alright, we're gonna
do like ziplock interior. If you've got like you know a garbage bag, some
glass bags, and then we'll do like a canvas on the outside. Plenty of layers.
Really nice. Perfect. Really nice.
Perfect.
Really smart.
Alright, you guys layer up and store the Alexandrite head.
Great.
Can I scoop Gowan on this broom?
Yeah.
So, I'll say, honeysuckle pops back up out of the snow and honeysuckle can have an easier
time.
Yeah.
As you're like, come on brother, and you bring on unconscious Gawain.
I grab his arm and just can't move the broom.
Yeah, the broom is just a regular broom
with both of you guys on it.
Yeah. All right.
So, Honeysuckle takes Gawain,
and in fact, Kenna will go, you know what?
I'll look after Gawain and I'll follow up with you guys.
We'll be there a little bit after you.
Okay. Okay.
I rub my hand through Gawain's hair, and I say, with you guys. We'll be there a little bit after you. Okay. Okay.
I rub my hand through Gowan's hair and I say,
thank you, brother.
You see, he looks to be getting his wits back about him
and he smiles and he just goes,
Calder, thank you.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for everything.
It's okay. It's okay.
Now go, go save the town.
Calder almost says, I love you,
but then just says, hey.
Go get out of here, you fucking idiot.
Yeah. Fuck you, dude.
I love you fucking loser.
Get the fuck out of here.
You gotta go. I love you.
Yeah, go fuck you.
Fuck you, I love you, bye. Fuck you, love you, man. All right, fucking loser. Get the fuck out of here. You gotta go. I love you. Go, fuck you. Fuck you, I love you, bye.
Fuck you, love you, man. All right, see ya.
Gawain passes out.
Kenna, so fucking strong.
You see Kenna is able to pretty comfortably just like
grabs him and she's not able to pick him up or anything,
but just like very quickly drags him
onto the back of Honeysuckle.
And her, Honeysuckle and Gawain
begin heading towards the town
as you guys and Albin take off towards the town center.
There are fires, but there are frost mages that are putting them out
and you see in the center of the fight, taking out three zombies at a time with his great club,
you see Gregor on top of a mammoth just swiping zombies back and forth.
Don't let up! Defend the village! They will know the might of the Ice Knife!
That's my big brother.
Rallying people as you guys arrive on your brooms.
I'm flying low and I'm taking out zombies left and right.
Hell yeah!
Because I'm actually a paladin and I've never got to fight something undead before so I'm
doing little smites but getting my extra DA.
Yeah you do fly-bys, you start swinging down and just charging into people.
Now that you guys have gotten into the fight, you guys now add a plus 18 to this and you
can roll with advantage.
And can I give us, we're taking out all these zombies, can that be my bardic inspiration
to this? Yes, nice. That is a 22 from team zombie. 36. Damn, yeah. You fly into town, the momentum was
already in the village's favor, but you push it over the edge as you're driving the zombies back.
I want you each to describe how you are contributing to saving the town.
I mean, I'm just like, it's like I'm playing polo with a broom and zombies.
Callie swoops down, starts slicing through them with great speed and accuracy.
I head up with Gregor and I go to the lake, and then I'm just running across the lake,
getting all the straggler zombies that are falling from the mothership
Oh, yeah, as they're popping down you were literally just popping up and kicking them
Yeah, and kicking them down into the water
And you see their bodies are just breaking and falling through the remaining ice. I borrow a hockey stick and just smashing them
I'm standing on top of my broom like it's a snowboard and just slinging ice knife and freezing ray spells like magical snowballs
at all these zombies.
Yeah, you are just riding next to your brother here
as you are hovering on the broom,
you look around and see that you are finally
as tall as your fellow giants and hell right now,
you don't even feel like you need the broom.
You drive back the remaining zombies pushing them back to the lake. Above, Garrosh continues
summoning these great winds that rock the floating submersible. There is a
residual power keeping it up there but it finally begins to creak and give a
little before Garrosh sends it spiraling into the mountains, exploding in a huge display of fireworks. There is a brief
moment of quiet as the warriors look on in awe. And then
everyone begins cheering and rallying cries.
I found a kegerator backpack and I'm just spraying beer everywhere.
Oh, fuck yeah.
You see Gregor begins spraying a bunch of it in his mouth. Backpack
Or begin spraying a bunch of it in his mouth
Drown me in most everybody cheers
Albin you need to have some gunola first your stomach is empty for sure for sure. This is awesome This is the best I've ever felt You see the haste runs out and Alvin just passes out
You grab Alvin hanging on to him as you guys all celebrate
Gregor pulls you down off the broom calder and puts you on the front of the mammoth and pats you on the back to congratulate
You you see your family and friends, your mom
rounds a corner, she's using her bow, you see she shoots down
a straggling zombie, you see Yurg is nearby
with a greatsword covered in
undead cybernetic goo from these mothership zombies.
Grr, that's nasty. Way to go, Dad. Yeah, Yurik gives you a nod.
Mira gives you a smirk as she looks at you and Shard,
and you guys all celebrate under the fey, Twilight.
I'm going to climb one of the roofs
and sort of lie on my back and look at the Feywild
through this rift, and I'm gonna play a little song.
Oh, fuck yeah.
Callie, you take out your little guitar
and begin playing a Fey folk song
as everyone celebrates in the streets
and that's where we'll end our session.
Oh my God.
And that's where we'll end our arc.
Whoa.
The Ice Knight Saga.
There we go. Yeah, not the full, not full campaign three. We'll end our arc. Whoa. The Ice Knight Saga. There we go.
Yeah, not the full, not full Campaign 3.
We still got another arc to go.
We got some loose ends, certainly,
but we're getting into end game here.
Look at that.
Damn.
Gosh.
This was a really fun one, guys.
You guys were incredible.
We closed the door on that one, or opened it, rather.
Opened the door on that one.
Opened the door.
I cannot get over just the, after the Feywwild after Calder starts opening the Feywild
and then I just start critting. Yeah it's so fucking sick. The dice tell their story. The dice tell their story.
And the dice wanted us to crit a whole bunch. Kissed by magic. And I think that's great for us. Yeah
absolutely. God I can't wait to talk about this one. I can't wait to talk about what's next. Oh yeah.
So just so everyone knows we are going to be doing,
since we're kind of ramping up and we're
in the last 10 or 12 episodes of the campaign after this,
as all things kind of come to a head,
I'm going to take a little time to prepare
this sort of final arc, tentatively final arc.
So we're going to do, next week will be D&D Court like usual.
Then Caldwell is going to be running for us.
Should we reveal it?
Let's do it.
Why not?
Lock me in.
Caldwell is doing a Pathfinder two shot with us.
So that'll release two weeks in a row and then we'll be back for the next arc after that.
So look forward to a Pathfinder two shot and then we'll be right back to it.
In the meantime, does anyone have anything
they'd like to plug?
Hmm, I'm going plugless.
This was perfect.
John, plugless.
I want to plug someone sent to the PO box,
because in Twilight Sancturum,
we kept talking about the spider drawn carriages,
and they sent like the specs for an actual spider carriage,
which was apparently the racing carriage of its day.
Yeah. Whoa.
Whoa.
It's called a spider Phaeton.
Yeah.
It's like, it gets a really sleek, sexy little carriage.
Yeah, yeah.
And it's called a spider Phaeton,
which I think Phaeton is like a god.
Phaeton is the son of the sun god, who basically goes up and is like,
dad, let me drive the sun, and then crashes it into the earth.
Oh, shit. Yeah.
That sounds rad as hell.
And that was sent to us by Sarah B.
Thank you so much, Sarah.
Thank you so much.
It was such a fun little fact toy.
Yeah. We've actually been getting a lot of great stuff from the P.O. Box.
I do want to say thank you to everyone
that sent us their Save the Dates.
We've gotten so many stories from people
who say that they listen to NADDPOD together.
It's like a part of their courtship
and they play D&D together
and it warms my heart every time we read them.
Beautiful.
We also got a ton of bucket hats.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Paul sent me a picture of all the bucket hats
and I said, I need them all.
I will say I'm slightly more touched
by the save the dates than the bucket hats.
I think they're equally heartwarming actually.
Yes, of course.
Both beautiful.
And then Michael G sent us this flippable D20 coin
which I mercifully did not roll at all.
It's so loud.
It's really loud.
I'm gonna roll another one.
Yeah, you guys could hear it.
Oh, that hurts. Oh my God. Yeah, you guys can hear it. Oh, that hurts.
Oh my god.
That was an 11.
That sounds about right.
Sweet.
Actually, I didn't plug the Patreon yet.
You can listen to us talk about this over on the short rest.
Patreon.com slash nadpod, this N-A-D-D-P-O-D.
Don't sing yet.
But you can sing in a sec.
You can sing in a sec.
OK, OK.
And you can follow us on social.
Skip to singing.
Skip to singing.
Skip to singing.
Follow us on social media there. We're mirror may at CH Merce me at Caldwell at X for
Emily and actually courses Jake and you tweet about the show using hashtag NAD pod that's any DDP od
They say the
They say the home is where the heart is, yeah Fire heals the soul, but you've been trudging through the cold
You have been traveling through ice and snow
Cause time is in an arrow, it's a dagger at your throat
And you are new from head to toe
And all your blood has turned to stone
So come home to me
The fire is warm and I am making tea
The day has turned to night
The snow has hardened into ice Your boots are stained with such
And the northern winds ain't letting up Bet your best co-can compete
With an evening in good company
Frozen after death you need a hot meal and your bed
You need a blanket and some rest
You need a toddy and some buttered bread here Where the man's so like an albatross
And never take it off
Let yourself grow numb
Cause you're too proud to meet someone
So come home to me
The fire's warm and I am making tea
The day has turned to night and all the snow has hardened into ice
The cold has got its cause and you owe the weather
She can be so cruel, but home is where the healing starts.
So come in from the dark and fight the hearth.
It is the end of our show, which means it's time once again to shout out our benevolent Council of Elders.
Listen with reverence as their names are read.
Brad D.
Jeffrey S.
Lord of the Fjord.
Hugh C.
Later McSkater.
Matt M.
Cutter W.
Jeff C.
Daniel G.
Danielle the Dastardly Dame.
Beard Man Dan.
Danny P.
Carpe Liam.
Bryant, the very worst DM.
Victor T. AKA Balnorsboy.
Hoyt's friend, Justin I.
Danny shares a birthday with Goofy Danster.
Ho ho, gorsh, happy birthday.
DJ M. Trayley the Cray. Disillaneous, happy birthday. DJ M, Tray-Lay the Cray.
Discellaneous, Christopher B.
Damiel R, Jordan L, Cyborg version of Josh the Cobold.
Targot, Stevie Wags, Hellish Rebuke-er PhD.
Princess Yar.
Jory S, Jack L.
Nicholas C, star of every film ever made in Bohemia, now starring in
the Iron Deep production, Asquire Never Tires.
Samuel B. Mike H. Alka Smeltzer Plus.
Great Value Jimma.
Tyler F. Knee Badger.
Panama James.
Aradrian.
Carboro Chapel Hill FPV.
Rex Daniel, the white.
Diana De Los Lopez.
Cici Lulu.
Hercule Poirot, ze labet fog detective.
Timmy R. Rayco.
Calder comes cold, shout out to the cold come companions.
Frosty Facial.
Taylor B, the vengeful one-winged angel.
Cass, skateboard Cass.
Steven, speeds into seasons of sneezin', see.
Lady Taco and team, incredulity.
Nick W.
William W.
Big Bad Beardo the Mad.
Eric McD.
Ananarama. Percival Fredrickstein Van Mussel Klosowski
de Rolo III, J. Dragonborn, Guardian of the Vibe, Honoring the Cock, Per Snickety Snitch,
The Sandrayan, Ben A, Dave H, Christian S, Showing sweet blue hole!
Dustin S.
Danny F.
Hawkeye Pierce.
Bookfars assistant Izzy F.
DPC is awesome!
Hashtag honor the cock.
Shone, the Shade Tree mechanic of Zell-Bel-Dar.
Summer Rose aka Grand Tare.
Kat C.
Misa of House Inzunza
Ariel the Occasional Mermaid
Selena N aka Velaesiraptor
B. Perky Always
Maxwell J. Lauren H. Serv 16
Annie the Feywild Therapist
SkillfulFerret insert art request
Gosh, there are so many good moments from this episode, but I'm gonna be a little selfish
and say I wanna see Saul holding that ice knife.
Tiny frog, big sword, let's go.
Connor S. Saleel.
Weed Goku 69 aka Gunk at 16, experimenting with drugs, can't wait.
Bioquart 7.
Amber Dextrous.
Sullivan H.
Droooob hop dropper. Jack H, King of the Mole, People Under, Iron
Deep, Dressed in Blue, and Fighting his way through a bracket style tournament.
Go Jack!
Lindsey W, Vailin, Travis, Carlin C, Emily S, Noah the Bullywug Boy, Hashtag Honor the
Cock.
Ah, thank you Murph for bringing that into existence.
James G. Everything Bago, the Aladdin who just wants to hang out with his pet badger Stripey.
Daddy Master Dandy.
Han. Eric B.
Marcos. Learns the Balance Druid.
Freida Im. Tracy P. TheCrickElfLibrarian,
Maggie Smith, See You In Chicago, Saw You In Chicago,
Thanks For Coming Maggie, Holly, Ha Ha Yee Ha,
Akash T., Andrew, CricElfMonk, Way Of The Honored Cock,
Gosh, I am honoring so many cocks this week,
Thank You Murph, Thank You So So Much,
Doofinius, Aaron B., Russell H, a monk named Dilgo. Yes, the
whole thing. Yes, every time. Cody Care, Keychains, Pentium II
Processor, Lorelei the Succubus and Kira, her busty queen, your
friendly neighborhood yawn and yunkle, Andrew and Sid, John
Adams, the write-hand candidate for 2024.
Meg, the mail carrier manager of Bohemia.
James F. Austin S.
Wayfarer now has to do something with the trolls.
Get rid of them. Turn to page 42.
Keep them. Turn to page 69.
Shane C. Barpo Goodbarrel, Bard-Barian
Welshlander, Garrett G. aka One Big Curd
Mr. D. Havy, Half Orc, Half Guppy?
Renee, the Monster Captain Box Clifton
Olivia, the Enchanting Bard and Jared Jared the Soap Opera Cleric who are playing
Stick It to the Man down with the Monarchy.
Winterslade, Riley S, FICO, Garrett the Artificer, Anthony the Radist of Dudes, Josh H, Caleb
L, The Fairies Say Om Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom, Cantrip Dumbledore the bear onesie wearing
barbarian, Lexi H, MJ the BFG, Nadrog the pass a fist barbarian, hehe gets me every
time, Gino T, Mama B, Derek D, Tristan the talentless honk, Shenanigans O'Connor, Mios, the great.
Joshua S.
Alexander.
Linz W.
Angela Pamela, the forever vindicated.
Emma S.
Red, the reforged, warforged.
Pavu Eskynor, the Goliath paladrin providing service with a smile.
Brothers, rejoice!
This cask is full of pre-cog milk.
Very nice.
A cat napping in a sunbeam, listening to a podcast.
CJ Hampton.
Shell B, Kenna's second favorite sprite girl.
Excited to see the dream team in NYC while dressing up like Sophia Lee.
Hashtag honor the cock.
I actually just added that one in.
It's in my head now and I can't get it out.
God damn it, Murph.
How could you?
Jackson R.
Worchester, the eldritch demon who ate snail-us.
Okay.
Blake H.
Searching for a sweet blue hole with his bestie Big Bev.
Papa scatties,
Mima Skatties,
oh, it's V.
Tommy W,
Haley the Human,
Megan N,
Oaklington,
Balnor's best friend, Steve,
Stephanie of House Inzunza,
Benjamin A,
Sacrificial Otaku,
pen name for Callie's cousin who discovered anime and is trying to spread the word all over Bohemia.
I will aid in your quest, Sacrificial Otaku. It is a noble goal.
Mikkel A. Josh Hole. Froakie. Alicia. Lulubug. Hoes. Maple. The shy bookworm.
Seth E. Billy Batson. Tory the Dragoose, son of Thomas,
the blind bisexual goose,
bicon and father of 69 signets.
It's a real goose, you can look him up.
Michael L.S. the second.
Jacob the purveyor of shenanigans.
Nova Cry.
Parcel.
Dex Riddlewell.
Hannah A.
Bastion Fiddlefoop,
A-Streggs, High Lord of Critsburg,
Joshua F, Darius D, Troy's Mom, Vin Diagram,
Nurse Betty 141, GKC, Kidmilius the Consumed,
Hossinator, Bard of Holding. Clinton P.
Cam the Frogman Swag's Dry Cousin from Gladeholm.
Can't wait to meet you Cam.
Dean.
Jake, Bohemia's number one D.I.T.
Tuesday Cross, the Choose Your Own Adventure writer,
not the porn star.
And of course, Adam H. who is eaten by the giant worm. Oh no! I wish I could help
you Adam but that is unfortunately the end of our list. If you would like to join this
illustrious council and perhaps help Adam out of the worm's mouth you can do so by going
to patreon.com slash nadpod. That's going to be our show for today. Thanks again for
listening and we will see you here next week. Bye bye!