Not Another D&D Podcast - C3 Ep.45: Lord Ultrus (Legends of Irondeep)
Episode Date: October 6, 2023Duck Team faces Ultrus while Calder attempts a demiplanar jailbreak! Sol provides too good of a distraction, Callie gets stage fright, and Hardwon calls for help. Support us at&nbs...p;Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content! Get tickets to our upcoming live shows at naddpod.com/live.Get tickets to Caldwell and Jake's Spooky D&D Livestream here! - https://www.moment.co/danddMusic / Sound Effects Include: “A Wizard’s Tournament” by Emily Axford.“Kingshammer” by Emily Axford.“Forsaken” by Emily Axford.“The Purge” by Emily Axford. “Demigod” by Emily Axford. “The Valiant Ol’ Cobb” by Emily Axford.“Into the Fire” by Emily Axford“Angels and Devils” by Emily Axford. "Ghost Dragon" by Emily Axford."Shock at the Dock" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Let's get the show started
Welcome to the campaign after the campaign this is not another D&D podcast
Welcome back to Bohumia everybody
I usually try to hit the welcome a little harder, but some soft came out it just came out kind of just my We're gonna go on you're gonna go soft on us in a mellow episode
It's a mellow episode right final battle against a demigod to stole your friend
No bad feelings here at all easy listening easy listening anyway
It's all about a saxophone. I'm your host Brian Murphy joined by J. Kerwitz.
Hard one short foot.
But also, Calder killed a taking out mages and breaking out cages.
Yeah!
We're back.
All right, the energy's back.
Then of course Emily X Fur.
From the Fey-Round to a cursed home Caliope Petra call.
Woo!
And then of course Cal called botaner.
I'm gonna set called her free with a punching spree
because I'm Saul Bufo when I got that frog in me.
Very good.
Nothing easy about that.
Nothing's soft there.
I always hold my breath when you cut these rhyming promos.
How much you landed it, you fucking landed it, dude.
Thank you, sir.
You really did. I don't know how many times in our life
I've seen you shake your glasses off of your face.
They're gone by the way.
I would take the over on 10, for sure.
Yeah.
All right.
While Caldow looks for his glasses,
let's go ahead and do a little recap.
Thank you, I got them.
Sweet.
So last time you escaped King Ektar's victory feast
with a cursed pendant in tow.
You returned to Winch's workshop and researched the strange acolytes from whom it originated.
These goliaths are from a group called the Order of the Runny Eye.
They are worshippers of Grumps who aided Ultras in his attempt to conquer mainland Bohumia
some 300 years ago.
It would appear that they have reemerged.
Now that Ultras has been freed again.
You were able to use Winchester's technology
to speak to Albin, who further identified the item for you.
The necklace allows followers of Grumpsch to plane shift
to the Demi Plainar Prison in Ultras' helm.
If you aren't a follower of Grumpsch,
you become imprisoned there.
If you are, you can move freely.
Man!
Man!
Albin took the pendant for the night and was able to cast remove curse on the item, potentially
allowing you to use it as if you were a follower of groups.
Man!
I don't know where this is coming from.
Well, it started out as when that we couldn't get.
That we couldn't be freely in that.
Right, but you were excited knowing that the curse was removed.
But now we're all an Al Capone's gang.
Yeah, it went from when to yeah.
Yeah.
You roll a little dice over there.
You didn't see it was hot beforehand.
I didn't see it, it was hot.
And it's not hot.
Roll it up.
It's hot.
It's hot.
Yeah, let's put it to the side.
But before your communication ended,
Albin revealed his findings from Winchester's probe footage.
A virus was recently uploaded to the mothership submersible
by Alex Andrade.
She seems to have been able to enter their system
and has been slowly taking over the employees
as they beam in and out of work via the teleporters.
You assembled a dossier of all this info
and sent
Mauser off to give it to Morgan. Mauser! Mauser! Bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb to a mixed reaction, confusing the crowd without of context show boating.
That's not how I remember it.
You had a jacket on.
Are you not confused?
Yeah, a jacket on that said,
I tamed the Beast of Iron Deity.
No one knows what you're talking about.
I remember that landing really well.
Really?
Okay, interesting.
It's a hit.
Interesting.
The king appeared and announced that he'd be represented
by a champion.
The arena went cold as Ultras appeared, bearing two extra heads.
One resembling Jaina and the other Calder, both sides of the fight managed to land some
brutal hits, but perhaps none more brutal than the emotional blow of seeing Cobb's tortured
soul in Ultras' chest.
With Grumpsch, channeling his power through the giant, it seemed the God was hitting hard one with an otherworldly taunt.
Meanwhile, with Ultras distracted, Calder and Jaina launched their best attempt at escape, and that's where we are now.
Calder, you feel the icy plane shake around you as your friends fight Ultras on the outside. Starfire fireworks erupt in the
sky from Callie, Concussive Quakes, Shake from Saul, Jaina waits for an
opportune time and in concert with an attack from the other side, smashes the
first arcane barrier with her hammer, the magic dispels and two dead-eyed
warlocks draw blades and engage you,
that is your turn.
All right, let's do this.
So I'm going to bonus action cast Booming Blade
and create kind of a polar vortex around my ice sword.
You're all good.
And then I'm just gonna go swing,
swing said ice sword at one of these little mages.
Great, go ahead and take a crack.
Mm, 17 did. 17 does hit. You you see as this arcane barrier goes down these guys pull outside arms
daggers oozing with poison and go to stab into you just dead eyed
Don't you want to stay in here forever? This is your home. I feel like I already have stayed in here forever
I'm ready to go home and you cut through one of their mage shields their mage armor and you do manage to land ahead
Yes, all right, that is 15 damage to that person and they'll take 14 damage
They move okay, so they are surrounded by these shards of cold energy you see icicles appear around them
I'm poking at them any which way they move.
I will take an attack with my sword again.
Right on.
All right.
Yes, 27 hit.
That falls.
Yeah.
13 more damage.
You land the second attack slash against this cultist.
Open up his belly, and you see blood begin spilling out.
And you can view muscle and parts of bone and stuff like
that and he just keeps looking, I'll keep fighting, I have to keep fighting.
You should really go get that checked out.
I'm not going to keep off.
I can't.
I'm going to go have a doctor or something.
We don't have coverage.
We don't have coverage.
You don't have health insurance.
I think they'll still take you to walking clinic and your stomach is pouring out of your
body.
Yeah, you see this dude is would be mortally injured
but is going to keep on fighting.
After your turn, Calder, that is actually,
so Jaina has to use a full attack action.
She essentially has to cast like a dispel magic
through her King's Hammer to break down these walls,
but she does have legendary actions
And you hear her yell out don't let up keep going keep going he's leaving it opening. Yeah, it's done that
Give him another one. Go ahead and take she's gonna use a legendary action to let you use your reaction to attack
Oh hell yes, That is a 25.
This.
Fuck yeah.
Yeah baby.
14 damage.
14 damage.
Okay, this guy is even more fucked up.
You open his guts even more,
stuff begins pouring out.
It's getting tough man.
It's getting tough.
It's getting tough.
You need to keep going.
Yeah.
You need to go home.
I know.
This is home, man.
Lie down or something.
Looks truly so injured.
Then that is the cultist turn.
These guys are going to go to surround you.
The one guy goes with a knife, the guy who's already injured.
How much damage does he take again from the icicles?
14.
That is exactly enough to kill him.
So he had literally 14 life left.
So you see he goes to get around the other side of you and like back stab you stab you
under the ribs.
But as he does, you see he's fearlessly moving through the icicles around him, but they finally
just stab into him too deep and he finally stops.
Oh, I told you to lie down.
You see him freeze and shatter and he is gone.
But you see this other cultist is going to
create a blue flame in his hand
and is going to throw a use a move called Hellfire on you
and Jaina, go ahead and give me a dexterity saving throw.
As he throws a blue fireball between the two of you
sending fire energy in all directions.
Yeah, I don't think so. I rolled an eight. He blows up directly in your face.
Shit. You take 20 damage. Oh, don't be overconfident. Yeah, I was just sure it was gonna miss. Jaina just takes half as she's hit by a little bit
of the fire we run off.
After the cultists turn,
Jaina is going to use another legendary action
to take an attack.
So she can only kind of take one attack at a time
because she's just spelling these walls.
But does Manus to crack this cultist across the ribs?
You see her giant gods hammer,
this war hammer with spirits and all this orange and bronze energy around it
Swings it and cracks this guy's ribs immediately starts bleeding out of his mouth
But he's so dedicated that he just
Straighten himself out you hear his bones crack and he continues to be ready to fight. Wow. I really thought you gave him another stomach
to fight. Wow, I really thought you gave him another stomach. Okay, so now we are going to play the rest of it true to initiative called the rolled an 11 so him and the Coltis
and stuff are kind of right in the middle of the initiative here, but we are going to
go back to the top of the round for rounds two. At initiative 27, Saul, that is your turn.
Okay, you are currently off aways. You were scooped by Honey Suckel.
You and Kenna are off to the side.
You guys have both amounts, licorice and Honey Suckel.
Hard one is doing battle with Ultras right now and Callie has disengaged a little bit
and is maybe 15 feet back by Ultras.
Okay.
Great.
So I'm with Kenna.
I shout to her, if you have a second to give me a potion, that would be great. So I'm with Kenna. I shout to her if you have a second to give me a potion
That would be great because Ultras apparently turns out very strong
Yeah, yeah, okay, I gave I just gave you a potion. I got to wait for my turn to give it another one
But I'm there with fair enough. I don't want to sound greedy, but I'm just bleeding a whole bunch
Yeah, no I can see I do that. I'm riding on honey Suckel. I give Honey Suckel a little pat.
Where he likes it.
That's my fingers.
And then I shout to Callie.
Callie, I think you should survey
what's going on inside the necklace.
I'm on it.
OK, great.
And what I'm going to do.
Hold it out really obviously.
Wait, how'd you get the one of those?
I was kidding.
Those are exclusive.
Alter screams at you.
I think that if I avoid getting hit,
I can keep him distracted for long enough.
So you go in, I'll work on Ultras.
OK, you got it.
And what I'm going to do is just run up,
get two punches in, and then disengage with a key point.
Right, OK.
Yeah, baby.
That is a three and a one
You you yell this plan
Ultras clocks it no turns around you punch twice He holds his palm out. It is bigger than your head you punch twice into his hand is here is so good
Good the practice I
Will be your boxing mitt cool. I use a boat as action to disengage. I just
I'm Charlie Brown walked back running punches giant hands twice to absolutely no damage and then just
Charlie Brown walk away. Colleye if you think that this is part of the act and gives a thumbs up we're gonna get the audience on our side.
Perfect distraction Mr. Bufo.
That was great so.
Does he look distracted?
Yeah you see that Cobb's face goes back into his chest he's just flabbergasted that Saul just...
Did you just...
Did you really think that those going to do something?
I did like a big like windmill spin to warm up for it.
There's one last thing I can do.
When I use a step of the wind, I believe my jump is doubled as well.
So as I'm like Charlie Brown walking back,
I want to kind of jump into the air and kind of just see if I can get a glimpse of what
Morgan is up to.
Yeah.
See if I can like catch walk eyes with her.
Totally.
I'll say.
I should be a plan all along.
And like, and hope she didn't see that, right?
That's the main thing, yeah.
Go ahead and give me a perception check
with advantage check.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Would love advantage anywhere else.
You see the crowd has gone quiet and embarrassed.
Oh, thank you.
Dazies dies away.
Oh, I'll use the dice that I gave.
Yeah, I gotta use those.
These are bad dice.
That's two more threes.
Okay. My perception is not great.
It's more plus four, but that's gonna be a seven total.
We're switching call well to two dyes.
Yeah, there you go.
Two dyes that.
So, you look up.
I'm blessed.
You're blurry eyed with tears from having tried so hard
and fallen so far.
But yeah, you jump super high
and you look into the King's box here.
Don't get a lot of new info,
but you see, Morgan is holding up this cultist
and shaking him down, but he does not,
you know these cultists are willing to die.
They're not gonna give up information.
So, Morgan is definitely not with the cultists,
it would seem,
unless she's putting on some kind of show.
But is kind of going back and forth
between looking at this cultist
and looking at you guys.
You know, from the rules,
that she's not gonna be able to just jump in
and help you guys here,
because that'll be seen as cheating.
But you know, you have her attention,
she's watching the fight.
So if you ever wanted to get a message to her
or something, she's like a where.
You see she, she's wearing a full bucket helmet,
but you see her whole body cringes after your last turn.
Oh no.
I give her a thumbs up.
She gives you a thumbs in the middle.
Cool. Yeah, that's my turn.
Sweet. Okay.
After Saul's turn, Ultras actually has one legendary action left is going to go
ahead and take a crack at hard one who is right.
Right.
So turns back on.
Really?
Because I was just just turning around with sauce.
Just turning back.
All eyes are on salt.
All eyes are on salt.
You're gonna hit me.
You leave yourself exposed to the frog.
I am truly so sorry he just crits.
Yeah, that's fair.
He turns and in one perfect move
Hard one you dive in because of Saul's distraction thinking that you're gonna be able to get a hit on him But that just leaves you open really at all your defenses are down. He swings around you feel the axe hit you and break your ribs
sending you back a dozen feet as you take
55 damage hard one. Oh my god.
I thought just my feelings were when I saw God,
but now everything is shit.
Now I'm distracted.
After his last legendary action to the round,
Cali, that is your turn.
Hard one, are you still standing?
Barely, but yeah.
Hard one's looking wobbly.
I'm gonna look at Kenna,
make sure she's got eyes on hard one.
Yeah.
Everyone's hurt,
mispatch a car, everyone's hurt.
You know what, fuck it.
I'm gonna run over to hard one,
bonus action heel,
and then put the neck of the songs.
Oh wow, okay.
I'm gonna come real quick,
baby goat you some
greater healing. Okay, good. I'm gonna come real quick baby goat you some greater healing okay, and then disappear
Drink it like a hamster
That's right get in the math, please too much on the beers
What are you doing?
What is everyone doing I get drink it from the beard later?
So the crouches it oozes and aas as you guys punches bomb and then baby goat hard one
What's a distraction what's real you'll never know?
15 nice 15 I rolled two falls rad. That's awesome. Okay, so hard one
Uh, you start to focus back up you start to get your feet back under you God
I would love to roll a four and Cal
Cali let me lay out the situation
that you find yourself in.
Okay.
So you do this bonus action,
you feed hard one the potion,
and then you throw the necklace on
that has, the curse has been removed.
As you blink, you enter this dream-like,
demy planar prison.
And as you do, you get a sense that you can
travel where you want. Do I see anything? I'm gonna say that during this
sort of magical transition, as you move to this world, you're gonna need to
make a decision of where you want to be. I think I'm not being very strategic. I
think I put on the necklace and I just have like a montage of every sweet
moment I've ever had with Kolda and just go to that. You think of you guys back in Esri when you
were making the little star map. I'm coming Kolda. You think of Kolda's putting on his big glasses.
You feel the potions at your side grow cold,
reminding you of the times that a coulter
would make your potion super refreshing.
I'm coming colder.
And you open your eyes from this blink
and up here on the frozen plane.
Coulter, you see for the first time in days, months, years,
you don't know, Calalippy Petricor.
Kalippy.
Hi, I fed a bit of a makeover.
I'm a winter elaterer now.
You look fantastic.
So do you. Winter looks good on you.
Thank you.
It's good to see you, Kelly.
Who's asked should I kick?
You see, Jaina and Kali are both fighting this one cultist whose body is already mostly broken
He turns and twists to see you. I'm here
This guy this guy is not with us believe it or not
Does it look like there's anything that else that needs to be dispelled or should I just go out of this?
Yeah, there's call-der-nose, there's at least three or four more walls and probably more dudes behind each one.
I've got to spell magic. Do you guys need that or should I just take out this guy?
I'll handle the walls, you handle this guy.
All right, I'll just lean into this fuck.
That's also a three!
You might be able to hit this guy though.
A 13?
13's not gonna do it.
Okay.
So you see this guy somehow definitely dodges it.
You see he is quite acrobatic.
So he does a weird...
Lipsidizong go.
Yeah, he does a weird owl neck twist and moves out of the way.
Huh!
My neck.
I imagine you two have been having a really hard time with this one.
Put another cleaner on the grill.
I'll do my second attack.
Okay, good, because I don't have a bonus action.
It's 27 to hit.
Hey, 27 hit.
That's the Kelly, I remember.
I'm gonna do a first level smite and do a party.
Great.
28 damage.
Nice.
This dude is on Death's door.
But not dead.
Not dead.
Fuck me. He does- I'm so sorry. Nice this dude is on death's door, but not dead fuck me
He does I'm so sorry
I should have done a bigger smile. I got copy
He does the owl neck to turn and dodge the verse attack
But the second one you do slice most of his head off. It's just hanging there by skin
But he keeps fighting he just starts wobbling, keep gets ready to throw another ice ball.
Oh, had to use my boat of action to heal hope on.
Jaina looks at you and as a legendary action
at the end of your turn goes,
don't be focused on your failures,
focus on your next success, on your next move.
Yes, general.
Keep moving forward.
I got another three.
Oh, why? It's okay, it's fine fine everyone circle up. Yeah, let's all circle up
Don't worry. This guy's for all intensive purposes dead
Right, I got really distracted because I've been thinking of all the sweet moments with me and called it
And I was just excited to see him and I'm kind of in hangout mode not fight mom
This guy's just bleeding over everyone totally.
I can't wait to give you a tour of my tent.
I made a weird doll of you guys.
Did you?
Yeah.
How many to see the way it's all?
After that.
Callie feels comfortable that she did her turn and Saul's honor for sure.
Saul just thinks, ah, callers in good hands. After Callie's turn, back on the material plane,
Ultras charges forward.
And after having hit hard one once with the axe
and knocked him down,
continues to bear down on him.
Oh, not finished with you yet.
Break it on, come on.
Matt Six, that's only a 17 to hit.
That just misses.
Oh!
Just by the skin of your teeth,
you roll out of the way.
You're still a little wobbly.
You've got just enough of your wits about you
from that potion that you're able to roll out of the way.
I'm not running, I'm ducking.
There's a difference.
Second attack does hit.
That is a 24 to hit.
I'm gonna still rebar that.
Okay.
That was the distraction all along.
This one's a 22 to hit, so re-roll.
Still hits.
But you can give him advantage,
or you can give him more Kenna advantage on something.
He probably needs it more as well.
I'll give it to Kenna goes, I'll fight.
You're more than fine, Kenna, you're great.
Thank you so much.
That's hard one is just being pummeled into the snow.
Oh, that was nice.
I think we said in the square.
Oh, fuck.
Hits you for 39 damage.
That's that for hard one.
I'm down.
Yes!
Yes!
Damn.
All right, then he's going to use the rest of his movement.
He knocks hard one down.
You see hard one collapses into the snow as he turns
and looks back at you saw. He holds his hand out, briefly takes on the face of Calder. You see
like one of the side heads moves to be the primary one. Stay cool, buddy.
Freezing Ray shoots out at you. Classic Calder, that's a low blow. Jesus Christ. I would never say that.
13 hit, Mrs. Besson, natural two.
So freezing ray goes off and frees
to someone in the crowd.
Darisden.
I need a refund.
Give me a refund.
I was struck after ultra-sistered.
Now we're in regular initiative mode.
So we are cutting over to the Demi Plain
R prison.
So that is Jaina's turn.
Jaina is going to look at you guys and go, gonna leave this dude to you guys.
Open the floodgates.
She runs over and uses an attack action to spider web and then shatter the next arcane
berry. We got this called a... Yeah, it's no problem. I mean, this guy's basically dead. spider web and then shatter the next arcane barrier.
We got this called a...
Yeah, it's no problem. I mean, this guy's basically dead.
You see the song guy just head hanging on by skin.
It's just wobbling around trying to grab you.
Come here!
I can't believe it.
Come here! You're still a problem.
Maybe I'll find a way to put you to serve a purpose yet.
You see beyond this arcane barrier as it comes down.
Jaina is then swarmed by two more of these cultists, but these ones look like some kind
of blood hunters.
They still wear the dark red robes, but you see they pull out swords, they run their hands
along their blades, which erupt into blue flame and go around her,
and you see Lazar, the arc mage who was advising Echtar. You recognize him, Cali. He walks out
from behind that barrier. I took the bargain. I point to the necklace. No, you absolutely did not.
Yeah, with a try.
Ha ha ha ha.
That's ours.
Give it back.
And he pulls out a staff and gets ready to fight.
Janus turn is done.
She's used to attack action after her turn.
That is Kaldur's turn.
So Kaldur, you've got this dude who's still hanging on.
You can leave him to me. Join the cause, brother.
God, you're, join the cause. You're making me feel sick, okay?
Actually, I think I might, I'm gonna use freezing Ray. Okay.
So I can all attack this guy and then two other cultists.
Ray. Ooh.
With three different rays. Ray. Okay. So I can I'll attack this guy and then two other cultists. Ray. Ooh. That's a bad guy.
With three different rays.
We're down.
So that is a 23 to hit.
Hits a 28 to hit.
Oh, and the last one's only a four.
Last one misses.
Okay, so that is nine damage to the one right in front of us.
Uh, called her, go ahead and finish this guy.
Yeah.
Uh, I guess I, um, I just flick the flap of, uh, next skin that is head is hanging. I guess I just flick the flap of neck skin
that his head is hanging on really hard.
Oh, God!
Oh, wow!
It just farts off his head and he collapses.
He's dead.
Great.
And then actually another nine damage
to one of the other guys.
You freezing Ray, this one dudes head off.
You freezing Ray, this other other guy as he goes to attack jena in the distance
Um, and then you miss big time on the last one
Shoot it off in a random direction. It looks insane. Yeah, I was just trying to do like a firework thing
This guy to go along with galley stuff. Uh, jena is then going to use a legendary action to tell
Kaliope.
Would you mind getting one of these guys behind me?
Absolutely.
Go ahead and take an attack as a legendary action from her.
Oh, yay.
She's so inspiring.
I learned a lot from Jaina.
24.
24 hits.
So one of these blood hunters goes into attack Jaina.
She blocks in a way that grapples this dude's sword and allows you to get
a clean hit on it.
Not making the same mistake, I'm doing a third level smite.
25 damage.
25, okay got it.
Colder, I think I'm having a bit of stage fright in front of Jaina, because I've heard a lot
about her.
Yeah, yeah, she's really intimidating.
Yeah, yeah.
She's doing that intimidating thing.
Where she's coaching you, but she's doing such a good job
that it's really not helping.
She's like, no, no, that's good.
You're doing great.
But she's sweating and has three people attacking her.
It's OK.
You're doing great.
I will rise to this occasion.
I just haven't yet.
For a long time, I frozen front of her.
No pun intended.
Oh, maybe it's a winter her a ladren thing then.
After the legendary action, that is the Blood Hunters and Lazar's turn.
So the Blood Hunters will say both of them will go after Jane at a start.
I did just attack one though.
Okay, I wanna go after you.
I foam at the mouth.
Master Lazar, I think we need to do with this one.
She has rabies.
This one has blood frenzy, has advantage on melee attacks, unrolls against any creature that doesn't have all its hit points. So...
It's gonna be me.
14 hit, God, rolled really bad.
So swings and whiffs big time.
Not that blood ugly are you.
I'm a bit blood-packish.
It gets 20 to hit on the second attack.
That actually misses because I did do a defensive flourish
on my turn, so my AC's 26.
Nice, fuck yeah.
Yeah, you are diving around.
As you say that you're having a performance anxiety,
you're less in your head about the defense,
so you fall back on your old muscle memory
and you swing your sword up and block
as this blood hunter attempts to hit you.
That's right.
This blood hunter is going to attempt blood curse
of binding.
As a bonus action, blood hunter targets one creature
can see within 30 feet,
target must succeed on a DC 14 strength saving throw
or habit speed reduced to zero
and be unable to take reactions.
Kali, go ahead and get me a strength saving throw.
Oh, okay, I'm strong.
I'm really strong.
Nice pep talk.
That's another three.
Okay.
That's right.
Callie, you see the pep talk all they work
because if you believe it, you feel your blood runs cold.
The ice breaks beneath you and you see icy tentials wrap
around you and lock you in place with zero feet of movement.
Is this normal? This happens all the time in here? It's totally in place with zero feet of movement. Is this normal?
This happens all the time in here?
It's totally normal, it's kind of normal.
Okay.
It's normal, ish.
This next guy takes attacks on Jaina.
Jaina takes 28 damage, and then this guy's gonna attempt
to do the same thing, do the blood curse of binding
and hold her in place, but Jaina breaks free of its
trying to saving throws her one of her go-toes.
So she just roars and smashes through the ice and holds up her hand.
In fact, that's cool. What an honor.
My general... after the blood hunter's turn, she's gonna use a legendary action and turn to call her.
Alright, let's get some follow-up, let's get some follow-up, go ahead and make an attack.
Yes, right. Uh, the stand up. Stand up really straight.
Uh, tries to rise to the occasion.
Can I, is there anything I can do for Callie and her trap?
Like, uh, swing at the, I'll say, I'll say, see Tendrils.
Yeah. So she needs to do a strength saving throw at the end of her turn.
I'll say you can do that.
If you want to use your attack to do a, the strength saving throw for her and
essentially try to meet the DC to
shatter the ice tendrils around her.
Oh, sick.
I would allow that.
Okay, yeah, I'm gonna swing my
ice sword at the ice.
Great.
Tendrils.
Give me a strength save.
That's a crit, baby.
Yeah!
You smash through the ice around
Kali and Kali, you have control of
your body again.
Thank you, Kali. I promise I'm gonna step it have control of your body again. Oh, thank you. Call to promise
I'm gonna step it up. It's all good. It's totally normal. Everything normal day around here. She's a normal day. None of us are absolutely shy around Jane
Yes, nobody feeling nervous. Nobody feeling stressed or overwhelmed. Everything is cash. She's she's stressed
I see she's sweating even though it's super cold here. We're all doing good. We're all doing good, but we're all gonna step up.
We're all good.
We're all good to step up.
We're all good to step up.
We're all good.
She's like the head of a startup that's failing
and losing ambassador.
We're gonna turn this around.
We are.
We've got three months and we are gonna use them.
Eva, we've got nothing but time actually.
Time is on our side.
That's not a great quarter quarter guys. We are gonna rebound
that is
Lazar's turn
Lazar is going to
Warp space around
Calder that creature must succeed on a DC
19 wisdom saving throw so Calder you see Lazar
a wisdom saving throw. So, Calder, you see, Lazar hold his staff up to you and goes, we are not finished with you yet, Mr. Kill Day. Your power has been very helpful to the Lord
Ultras. Yeah, I'm done though, so I quit. Oh, that kind of can't. You know what, maybe
I will stick around a little bit longer. That is a 13.
Okay.
Calder, you take 38 damage.
Oh my God.
As you guys see, icy tendrils like the ones that grab Cali, grab Calder and pull him under
the snow.
Cali, you don't see where Cali usually takes.
You don't see where Cal der is, but call der,
you are sent further down the arcane barrier chambers
and you are left in another one by yourself
with no other warriors in it.
You are just stuck between two barriers.
You look through and you see Jaina
and Callie still fighting Lazar and these two blood hunters.
Okay.
I started pounding on the wall with my fists.
After Lazar's turn, that is back over to Hard One's turn.
Hard One, go ahead and give me a death saving throw.
Nat 20.
Oh, yeah!
I got baby, his back up!
Hard One kips up.
Yeah. Yep. Your eyes eyes are closed you're knocked out
You remember the last time you were knocked out by an avatar of Grumpch
You know you can't let that happen again. Just pure force of will
You jolt your heart and get it going again and you keep up back in action
You see Ultras is turned around shooting at Saul.
Ah, welcome back.
A hard one, uh, kips up and then also stumbles and kind of falls on his face for a second,
but then he gets back up, shakes it off.
He says, you should have never brought Cobb into this, um, and I'll take an attack.
That is a 26 and a 25 to hit. Both hit.
So yeah, Ultras turns, but he's too slow
and you slash him twice in the back.
You see this demon oozing blood
begin spraying from his wounds.
Ugh.
God, you're nasty.
That's 32 damage.
Okay, Ultras has taken a significant amount of damage
at this point.
You do see that his body is regenerating,
like he is this dude who made this deal
with an otherworldly being,
but his body is regenerating slower than he's being hurt.
You see, skin is wrapping around his bones
as you deal what should be moral wounds,
but it's not growing back fast enough.
And then I look at him and I say,
you don't know who you're messing with.
As I bonus action, second win myself
because I am at one HP.
Right, right.
Did you just catch your breath?
At the end of your turn, he's gonna turn around
and go, stay down, let the one.
And try to butt you with the end of the axe.
He fucking crit.
I'll use the luck point.
I'm gonna use the luck point.
Oh, there you are.
At least, at least,
hope he doesn't do that again.
Shout out to the two crit groups.
Yeah!
Yeah!
Once again, you are barely standing, just hanging on.
Like the last time when you fought the Avatar of Grimch,
you were saved by
Cobb causing a distraction. You see, as he swings down, you hear some kind of arcane sound,
the sound of like a far off blunderbuster or something. You see, Ultras looks slightly
confused, messes with his timing just enough for you to roll out of the way.
That's a classic Cobb prank. You keep his name out of your mouth
and his face off of your body.
I don't know who that is.
You don't deserve to.
After Hard One's turn, after Hard One dodges this attack,
you see Kenna is going to ride in on Licorice
and she's going to grab Honey Suckel
and bring him along as well.
She has Honey Suckel ride along under hard one,
Barrow beneath him, catch him,
as you guys get eye to eye,
she's going to go ahead and throw a potion
in your mouth for 20.
To bring you back up hard one.
Amazing.
She's gonna bonus action hit,
Saul with a squire inspiration.
So you had a deal for it all the tack rolls and saving throws.
And then she's going to have Honey Suckle
as Honey Suckle grabs you, is going to disengage
and take you 30 feet away from Ultras.
Kenna and Licorice are going to go in the other direction.
So you guys are all in three separate directions.
So we got Kenna's like 30 feet away in one direction,
hard ones 30 feet away in the other direction and Saul's 30 feet away in the other direction
Ultras is in the middle just throwing freezing rays
after
Kenna's turn he's gonna toss a freezing ray
So he'll toss one at
Let's say one more time. He's gonna try to hit solve. I don't ditch you on this one
I'm just going to kill this guy. Well get a new move man
I'm just going to try to hit Saul. If I don't ditch you on this one,
I'm just going to kill this guy.
Wow, get a new move, man.
Ha, ha.
Jesus Christ, can't hit you with this cloak of displacement.
So you see, Saul, you are too nimble
for him to hit this far away,
wastes a legendary action as he shoots off
another freezing ray and you roll out of the way
into the snow.
That is one distracting frog.
Ha, ha.
He is quite distracting frog.
We're dunking on him, but he's quite distracting. I'm undulating in very weird ways. Yeah. He is quite distracting frog. We're dunking on him, but he's quite distracting.
I'm undulating in very weird ways.
Yes.
After that, that is back up to Solstern.
All right.
Okay, so I confirm a hard one and Kenner out of the way.
I'm just gonna go do a take two on my previous engagement.
Here we go.
19 to 24.
Both hit.
Hell yeah. At 19 damage. Both hit, hell yeah.
At 19 damage. This time, you are way too fast, he holds his hand up,
he's watching you, he's shooting ice beams at you,
but you're dodging, you go under the snow,
kind of burrow your way, run under it by choice,
you're fast enough that you can actually
run on top of the snow, but you dive under it.
You appear next to him, he's too slow
and you crack him across the face.
Yes! I do the Mega Man slide right under his ass.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
And then I'm gonna go ahead and bonus action disengage again.
Right.
And as a faint, I'm going to run into the crowd
to where that guy who got shot with the ice beam is.
Yeah.
And I'll be like, are you okay?
That was not called for.
I really ham it up.
Darrison goes absolutely. My God, it knocked my drink over.
I mean, sure, I made it colder and more refreshing,
but I really should get a free one.
I just wanna make sure you're okay.
Do you have any symptoms, any runny eyes?
I shout that so that Morgan can hear.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Morgan, Jenner, you gave her the dossier, dossier,
so she knows she just can't really,
the only, you could tell her to put on the necklace,
but that would mean that Ultras would gain her power
because that one's not removed cursed.
No, so.
I don't want to do that.
I'm gonna just avoid that altogether.
I just wanna like try and like make eye contact with Morgan
just to confirm that we all know what's going on.
Yeah, yeah, she nods to you
and keeps holding on to this one, dude.
Okay, great.
Yeah, you see, there's a little bit of a kerfuffle.
Some of the nights that are on the king side
are starting to have arguments
with the crimson nights up there.
And there's a little bit of a scene brewing up
on the balcony.
And can we get another drink over here?
Where were you drinking, son?
Yes, please.
Ampstel Light, great.
One more Ampstelite over here.
After Saul's turn, he's going to take an ice beam attack
this time at, you know what,
he's gonna be a little bit brutal
and take a shot at Kenna,
but he's bringing it back up.
So he takes an ice beam shot at Kenna.
And good about that, actually.
15 misses, God is rolling like shit.
But shoots off. Kenna holds onto Likaris,
just hugs Likaris and dives under the snow,
gets out of the way.
Way to duck.
After Saul's turn, that is Kaliope's turn.
Kaliope, you are on the snowy plane.
Kolder has just disappeared.
You can see a vague shape behind the barrier.
So you think he might be back there.
On this side of the barrier, you've got you and Jane are being attacked
by two blood hunters and Lazar is there
who just hit Calder with this powerful attack.
Does it look, so it was an attack not a spell he's concentrating on?
No, it was, it was like an ability.
Okay.
You really don't belong here.
This is Calder's home now.
No, Calder's home is wherever I am.
Okay?
And maybe we haven't really said that out loud, but we can negotiate that later.
But your stupid little, icy, prism gem helm is not on the list of options, okay?
And I think I'm going to use my first attack on this bud hunter.
Okay.
And then we'll figure out from there.
Great.
And I try and knock him out right now,
which is four, 14 is not gonna do it.
14 does not hit him.
But me.
Does the owl turn again?
26 will hit though, right?
Yeah, just leaves him prone though, you see cracks, is neck.
Oh!
I'm going to third level smite again.
Last one.
I'm also going to do a slashing bardic to hit the saw.
Wow, okay.
Ooh.
Nice.
28 damage.
Oh yeah.
Luzartic, six damage.
Okay, his blood hunter is on DeathStore.
Okay.
He once again sees skin hanging onto his head.
Like damn.
I'm just going gonna bone his action,
take out my frosty dagger.
Great.
Come on, colliet paint.
Call her, you can just see from the other side
of the arcane barrier, the blue glow
of your old ice dagger in Cali's hand
as she goes to stab this blood hunter.
Get up, Cali.
I don't wanna live here.
I wanna move out.
26 to hit. 26 hits. 26 hits.
Galley, go ahead and finish him. He cannot survive.
Whatever you roll.
I'm going to put my hand on the frost dagger and do what he did with the blue flame,
but it's going to be like blue ice coming up.
Oh. You just freeze over everything on your sword, on the luck blade.
I rub on the window trying to see it better.
It looks so epic.
And then I want to absolutely just gut him and then just carve into his body I'm coming
for you, Lazar.
Jane is going to take her last legendary action and is going to look at you, Callie, and
go like, what are you going for now?
Yes, okay. Oh, fuck yeah
I'm gonna do my fourth level smite. Thank you. It sounds like she's critting out there
68 damage. Oh my god.
OK, Lazar is much stronger than these other guys.
In fact, you see he seems to have more control
of himself in this weird demi plane.
So when you slash through these other guys,
they are really dedicated cultists who
are willing to die for the cause and seem to have sort of
otherworldly constitution.
Lazar seems to not even be entirely real, like he seems to almost be kind of made of dream
magic.
So as you swing into him, you see that at first it seems to not hurt him, but then there's
the smite of starfire that seems to warp his body as he lets out a scream and does look diminished by it.
You see, sweat begins beating down his bald head as he grabs onto the sword and removes it.
That's enough.
Make me stop.
Very well, our Lord will see to it personally.
Lord Ultras, we require your power.
We require your assistance."
Back on the material plane, hard one you're injured.
Kanna was just shot at with this ice beam, but Ultras still looks pretty healthy, and
he laughs, and he goes,
my prison says been the requested elsewhere.
I will be back if you're still standing.
You guys on the outside see,
at the beginning of Ultrasus' turn,
he begins to freeze as the entire battlefield begins to get even more cold. You feel a heavier
chill. It was already the ash and sand down here already turned to snow. You see Ultras
freezes and then shatters and disappears. From the pieces you see ice sculptures of these cultists begin to appear out here and the two sides flip.
Lazar and this bloodhunter are now on the material plane.
As colder, you watch once again from the other side of the barrier.
Ultras has appeared right next to your allies.
No.
And Cali, Ultras is right there next to you. After you slash into
Lazar, Lazar disappears and Ultras now has your blade in his hand. Well that worked out for me.
Did it now? Yeah I was starting to miss you down here. Yeah we shall see. He's going to go ahead
and take two cracks at Cali. Dude. Fuck. 16 ahead?
Mrs.
I am going like ass.
Jesus Christ I'm throwing these dice away.
15.
You guys are just, yeah, you see he's,
he's bloated with all of this magical power
that's he's so fucking strong,
but he just is not dexterous enough to hit us.
I'm sorry, are you jet lags from the travel?
Still he still. I remember my first turn when I came in here. I'm sorry, are you jet lags from the travel? Stay still.
I remember my first turn when I came in here.
I was a bit jet lagged, so I was like, not myself.
Stay still.
But then I got in, if you were.
Stay still in the fight.
If you're still a couple turns, try to be with all
them.
Minimize the negative.
Be with all of them.
So talk.
Don't trick you to pretend like it's just any other day.
Yeah.
Just make sure you don't immediately go to sleep, right?
Yeah. Just make sure you don't immediately go to sleep, right? Yeah.
After Altris' turn, that is Janus' turn.
Janus sees Altris swinging down on Callie,
but sees that Callie's got this.
I look at her and I'm like, I'm healthy for now.
She is going to run over to the arcane barrier.
Call her, you see, she looks at you through the barrier
and goes, you've got unfinished business here.
Why don't you take care of it?
She swings her hammer, shatters the wall.
That is your turn, call her.
Yeah.
Look out, shaking my head.
Damn, so embarrassed, I keep on getting caught
in the damp things.
But then Ultras is there.
So call her finally steps up to face Ultras.
Yeah.
I couldn't help but notice you aren't able to hit my friend.
I'm old for two, but I'm planning to take a few more.
Yeah, well, maybe you can hit me.
I'll give you a reason to.
A 27 to hit.
Hits.
227's to hit.
Nice.
Oh, fuck yeah.
Again, Jaina was beating into you like how good your speed was.
A use-wing faster than this giant.
And as a kid, you were always trying to fit in.
You weren't really playing to your strengths,
but now you're learning to do that.
You're getting in under this guy's attacks.
Hell, yeah.
Uh, that is 25 damage.
Nice.
Yeah.
More of this demon blood spraying from Ultras
as he's beginning to get desperate.
You see it oozing out of him.
After your turn, Jaina is going to yell
for you to take another attack.
My pleasure.
Fuck, yes, that's a Nat 20.
Wow!
Oh!
Nice for showing up.
Three's and 20's, that's a three.
Yeah, the two numbers.
Thank you, General.
22 more damage.
Okay.
You're like a really good manager, Jaina.
Jaina, sorry, I almost said it like someone else I know.
Ha, ha, ha.
After Jane to take the legendary action,
Ultras gonna take his legendary action,
looks at you, call there, and goes,
I've already beaten you.
Turns to Callie, and takes a swing down on her.
Okay.
This dice is gone.
Throw it out. I just threw it across.
Natural one.
Like, fully drops the axe as he swings at you.
Do you want to try one of my best?
Yeah, please. Did you give me try one of my best on me?
Did you give me a cursed dice?
I'll take your cursed dice.
It's not cursed.
Rolls in at one, literally like as he swings down, loses his grip on the axe and it goes
into the ice.
Fuck up, you dropped your axe.
Yeah, I fucking know, dude.
I'm honestly taking Emily cursed dice over a cold-well regular.
Yeah, geez, my regular dice is not doing it for me. After that, we are going to cut back over
to the material plane where this blood hunter
and Lazar have just appeared.
This blood hunter is going to run over
and start taking swings at hard one.
All right.
Natural 20 with M's curse dice.
Why?
Come on!
Emily!
Hi!
Damn it.
Give it back, actually.
Give it back.
Give it back to your other...
Give me another...
Give me another...
Give me another blessed dice.
No, I'm gonna put that one in the garbage, I suppose.
Yeah, wait, let me give you...
Oh, wait, you have to give me an actual blessed dice for you.
Well, this one rolled on at 21.
When I was seeing who was rolling in, it was hot and interesting.
21 damage to your hard one.
All right.
And then is going to take a second crack.
Foo.
And only rolls a four that time.
Miss it.
Woohoo!
OK.
Lucky me.
That then is Lazar's turn.
Lazar looks out at the battlefield.
Mm-hmm.
He's going to roll D6 to see if he can get back his collapse distance thing that he did
to call there to fuck him up and move him.
That's a one.
He does not.
Yes.
Okay.
He begins flinging around his staff, shooting out psychic orbs.
He'll shoot one at Kenna and one at Saul.
So the one at Saul first,
Saul that's a 19 to hit you.
But Mrs.
Mrs. Ice Fizzles out.
Does Manage to hit Kenna?
You see Kenna is struck by this powerful psychic energy
for 27 damage.
Kenna.
Whoa.
She's still okay, but you see Gritzertith.
Ah. Kenna, I need you to be honest with us about if you've had enough. Okay. Whoa, she's still okay, but you see a grits or teeth
Can I need you to be honest with us about if you've had enough okay?
Okay, I've never had enough, but I Bob oh, I'm actually okay for now. Okay great. Okay. Okay That is the end of Lazar's turn after Lazar's turn
Jaina is going to have Calali take a crack at Ultras.
Yes.
Then in turn is going to take a crack at her.
So you guys exchange blows swinging back and forth.
26 to hit.
You hit him, but he hits you at the exact same time
unless you did a defensive flourish this time.
I think you did slashing, right?
I did slashing.
Okay.
So you both go in, you this tiny Aladdin comparatively
to this giant axe wielding demigod
Swings his axe down and pummel you as you stab into his chest and he does
26 damage to you. I only have a second level smite left. So I do
18 damage as mile because I'm still feeling okay
And when we make eye contact I want to ask him did you fight alongside Ariax? 18 damage. I smile because I'm still feeling okay.
And when we make eye contact I want to ask him, did you fight alongside Ariax?
He spits. Small folks scum.
So you weren't even fighting alongside him. He came in to help the giants and you didn't even take his help. Before my time, and I wouldn't have accepted his help,
he was weak.
Wow, that world for you is absolutely going to condemn you.
Oh, you just gave me a peek into how doomed you really are.
If you can't accept help from other people who are strong,
oh, because it would intimidate you,
because then you wouldn't get to be the strongest
and the one who's strong.
I take strength where I need it.
No, I think you're being used.
Uh, Gets feral, and for a moment you see one of his eyes begins to set in the middle of his face, and as he gains more fury, he begins to look more like Cyclops-ish.
Like Grumpsh.
Oh, fuck.
Grumsh, are you in there because your puppet
is kind of like not doing well.
Yeah, shakes out of it.
Grumsh, I think your puppet, bro.
I think your puppet, bro.
Another puppet.
There's no strings on me.
I hate puppets.
I absolutely hate puppets.
Yeah.
All right, then I am a puppet, I'm your nightmare. See.
Call the start shaking.
Hard one, we're back around to your turn.
Hard one, you have this blood hunter
that is attacking you.
Merf, quick question for you.
Yeah.
Since hard one popped back up,
can you still use the silvery barbs advantage?
Yeah.
I see no reason not to.
Awesome, cool.
Yeah, you're, you feel spores, not unlike,
you felt, you know, you'll always have part of the
rapport spores from the band of boobs
because you guys were together for so long,
you feel them strengthened from salt here.
Oh, you got this buddy.
Wow, it feels good to tap into the network.
I'll swing my hacks with advantage at that blood hunter.
Okay.
That's a 19 to hit hits.
Yes, yeah, baby.
Fuck another crit, baby.
Nice.
Hey, babe.
40 damage to the blood.
Wow.
You learn what the people inside the DemiPlan fighting these guys have already learned
that these cultists do not give up.
You swing your axe into this dude's chest,
cave it in, blood pouring out of his mouth,
and you just grabs onto it and goes,
you can't win, we are undying.
Oh, gee, well, let's test the theory.
And then I'm gonna use a battle master, maneuver,
quick toss, and chuck a javelin item at close range.
Rad, yeah, you just pull it out
and just try to stab down into them.
Yeah, that is a 26 to hit.
26 hits?
Another eight damage.
Very hurt, still up.
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okay all right great after hard ones turn back to the demi plane jena bronze beard you guys have
both used your reaction so she's gonna use her last legendary action to take an attack herself. She runs over dives onto Ultras' back and slams
the King's hammer into the back of his head. My bad rolls are starting to bleed over to Jaina. She
misses him. No! She swings her hammer and is kind of grappling onto Ultras' giant back, but he kind of slides out of the way and moves his head
as she is thrown to the side, hits the snow,
and rolls over, gets her hammer up,
and begins to charge back in a battle.
As Ultras takes his last legendary action of the round
to take a swing at Cali.
21 to hit Cali?
Hits.
Okay, Cali, you take 24 damage on that one.
Oh.
So once again, bashes you down into the snow.
Just these concussive blows.
You guys are essentially chasing him as he's just charging down Cali.
Every time he hits her, she's knocked back.
A dozen feet falls into the snow, gets back up, swings, stabs into him,
called her and Jaina beating on him as he moves,
and he keeps just striking down on Cali.
Stay down, little worm.
After the legendary actions, that is back to Kenna's turn.
Kenna is going to ride over to hard one
and I'm with another 20 HP.
You can just squeeze the leftover potion from before,
from my beard into my mouth, do you want to also?
I'll probably just crack a fresh wet if that's okay with you.
Yeah, that sounds fine.
All right.
Make sure to get a little in the beard.
All right.
You see she cracks a fresh potion, hits you for 20,
and then just gonna give you a squire inspiration.
So now you add a D4, you're the one who's blessed.
Right.
She's then going to disengage and move back
and be kind of strategic here.
Back up to the top of the round.
So Saul, you've got Lazar here in the middle of the battlefield.
The blood hunter that is attacking hard one.
And you guys are all beat up,
but everybody's still kind of hanging in there.
All right.
But you know, Ultras is off doing some bad stuff.
And you hear Dara Stins confused,
wait, who are these guys?
Who are these?
I have no context for this.
Yeah.
All dressed, this is bad for the narrative.
Ooh.
But I will say thanks for the break,
and I'm going to rush over to the blood hunter,
who he's like on Death's Door,
or whatever they consider Death to be.
Yes, he's quite close to Death.
All right, I'm going to take two attacks on this guy.
I'm kind of bouncing on my feet,
like hard one and I were when we were shadow boxing.
Cool.
And I'm gonna try a little something, let's see here.
Jesus fucking Christ, that is a two and a five.
Fuck it, I'm gonna do flurry of blows.
Great, great, great, great.
Yeah, you are right.
This guy somehow is way smaller than Ultras,
but still like a seven foot tall Goliath,
so hold his hand out and once again,
just does a punch pad.
Recalibrate, recalibrate.
Are you high-fiving me?
Do you wanna join the cause, the runny high?
Are you willing to die for the awful thing?
I mean, I like your sense of humor, but no.
I'm not funny.
Okay.
Okay.
Ah, 17 and 23.
Both head.
Thank God, okay.
So punch him twice in the palm,
but then hop up onto his hand
and crack him twice in the face.
Exactly, all right.
22 damage, saw, finishes blood hunter.
Fuck yeah.
Yeah, okay.
You see an eruption of mushrooms on my palm
as I punch into him.
You see he starts to like glow
with this bioluminescent light as I suck life out of him
and I'm going to get 14 temporary hit points back.
Nice.
Amazing.
Then I think I shoot some mushrooms
into the sky like little fireworks.
You guys see that from the other side.
Briefly, the snow around you begins to like melt.
You see a little like fungi popping up.
Silly.
After.
After Saul's turn, that is actually Callie's turn.
Okay, I've been trying to stay down.
I'm light in smite.
I think I'm gonna just try to do a thunderous smite and see if I can hit him on one of my attacks.
Okay.
That's a two shout out to the two crew.
Oh, locks it. Yeah, you're getting weaker.
Your legs are getting wild.
19 on the dice.
29 to hit.
But you strike true on the second one.
There we go.
OK.
He has to do a strength saving throw or be not prone.
17 strength save?
Meats it beats it.
Yeah, OK, so he doesn't.
OK, so only one attack, but I'm doing a first level
smite.
I've got the thunderous smite. And also I'm gonna add a defensive flourish. Great. Okay. Yeah, with the thunderous might
You hit him you do stagger him, but he does not fall over
36 damage you
Fuck, Ultras right up
Stagger's back. He's bringing the moment of forward, trying to just cut you down,
and you keep jumping back at him and holding your ground, making him back up a little bit.
And my AC is up, but I'm not gonna turn that on.
We're not gonna tell him, yes.
Oh, you, man.
On Ultras' turn, Cali, as you swing into him, and I'll say, you go to swing into him with a follow-up attack.
You see Ultras at the top of his turn freezes
his body shatters and he once again disappears.
In his place, you see Lazar.
The Lord Ultras had other matters to attend to.
This really is like a puppet show.
What?
You guys are just coming on and off stage.
Kelly, it's not a puppet show out there, is it?
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Back on the material plane, you see that old tris appears again.
Oh, welcome back.
Thank you.
Missed us.
I did, actually.
It was pretty bad in there.
Ha ha ha.
She's what that.
Yeah, you look really roughed up, man.
He's going to charge forward and run down hard one.
Fuck.
Natural one misses big time.
It loses his composure.
You see, he is badly injured.
So he swings, thinking that he's gonna regenerate in time.
But you see, like, you know, part of his elbow
is like fucking ripped off, and you see it dislocates
as he goes to swing it.
Ah!
Oh yeah.
But takes a second swing, it snaps into place.
It's okay to ask for help.
I'm second.
25 to hits on the next one.
Yeah, that does hit.
Uh, hard one, 40 damage on that one.
I'm back down.
Jesus.
Strikes you down.
It's okay to ask for help, for instance, I need it now.
We're going to cut back over to the Demi plane.
Jaina looks at Callie and Calder and goes,
do you want me to go open another barrier?
Yeah, I think so.
Yeah, she's going to use all of her movement
to run further down the battlefield.
You hear another arcane barrier shatter
and three more warlocks jump into the fray. Let's go. It's moving day.
Okay, after Janus turn called her that is your turn. Lazar has appeared in front of you. Janus just broke in this next barrier
You think there's probably only one more barrier to break
But three more warlocks have just entered the fray. So three warlocks and Lazar. You know what?
I think Ultras is a little bit of a coward.
Let's get out there and meet him in the arena.
So Calder's just gonna take two attacks
on these cultists and action search.
So I'm gonna take four attacks total,
just trying to slash my way out of this.
Yeah.
That is a 23, a nat one, of course,
21 and an 18.
Three hits and go ahead and just take your Jaina
extra attack right now.
Thank you, General.
Dirty 20.
Four hits.
75 damage.
He's right.
Jaina breaks his barrier down.
These three dead-eyed warlocks run in. Why won't you join us and
serve us of the all-father? Because then I think I'd be as weird as you guys and I don't want that.
You immediately- I changed that. Before the guy can even finish the sentence, you bisect him in half
and he just falls over and we'll use cleave rules and goes and manages to do quite a bit of damage to the guy next to him.
You guys need to chill out.
Trying out catchphrases, what do you think?
Classic!
Soul smiles.
After Calder's turn, that is the Cultists turn.
Lazar is going to roll to see if he gets his collapsed distance thing back.
The thing that grabbed Calder before, he does not get it back.
So the cultists will act first.
They are just going to, they pull out these like poisoned
daggers and just start stabbing into called her.
Foul, Jesus Christ.
Three hits.
Okay.
That is 49 damage.
Oh my god.
Colder is very, very hurt, but it's standing, wobbling really.
Cali, you watch as these two warlocks have stabbed into Calder and are getting the best of him
after he took this one down. Jaina is going to use a legendary action to jump in and try to smash
the one that's already hurt, try to help
Calder here, and does 30 damage so significantly injure this guy but does not finish him.
But then that is Lazar's turn.
Lazar is going to phase and appear next to you, Calder, and go, are you like me? Have you ever wished that you could be bigger and stronger?
I got breath of it! I was like you, but I'm not like you anymore.
Oh no, you're not, but we all help in our own ways. And you will help us whether you want to or not. He's going to shoot you with two psychic
orbs. Oh fuck. 27 hits you. Yeah. Yeah that hits. 30 damage, Calder. So far down.
Yeah. Callie from across the battlefield, you see called her drops And then he takes the next one and takes a crack at Jaina and does hit her
And you see a psychic orb hits Jaina kind of shocks her and sends her reeling down to one knee for another 30 damage
After Lazar's turn Jaina is going to take another legendary action. You see she gets up and yells after taking this one hit
Has these three
warlocks around her right now, one of them is Lazar, she fucking crits and just smashes the head of
the one that was already injured. And that one goes down, and she does a not insignificant amount of
damage to the other cultist here. After Janus legendary action, that is Ultras going to take a legendary action.
He has to choose whether to move or attack unless he wants to do a far away thing.
So he's once again going to take on Calder's face and take a shot at Kenna.
And that one is going to hit.
You see Kenna drops to one knee and is just reaching for potions, trying to get to them
and trying to get to you guys.
You see, Likarish is standing up
and sort of a python stance getting ready
to defend her, she looks very injured now.
Kenna, I remember what we talked about.
Maybe now's the time to cool it, okay?
We don't have time, Mr. Bufo, we have to win.
Ah, the wisdom of the squire.
Mm-hmm.
After Ultras' legendary, that is hard One's turn. Hard one, go ahead
and get me Death Saving Throw. Sure thing. God damn, that's a not one. What? What? The balance
of critting on my first death, Death save. Got the Dice or Goofy today. That is hilarious.
Two Death Saving Fails for a hard one short foot.
Ultra's gonna take another legendary action.
Kenna has a potion ready to fly over to hard one,
but can she get there in time?
You see, she dashes across the battlefield, a top licorice.
Licorice shoots out in darts through the snow,
trying to get to hard one.
Ultra's takes a shot and gets a 23.
See, shoots Kenna from afar,
Kenna's hit with his ice bolt,
and falls unconscious into the snow.
On Kenna's turn, she's going to take a death saving throw
and passes.
Okay, okay, good.
After Kenna's turn, Ultras turns to you Saul,
and takes a shot with the ice beam at you.
Take your best shot.
One more to go.
Fucking Mrs. She's off in the air.
Just cannot hit Saul.
After Ultras is burned, all of its legendary actions.
Jane is going to take her last legendary action and take another crack at one of these cultists greatly injures them, callers down, Callie still fighting but is very low on spells
was just beaten up by Ultras. Ultras has turned his sights on Saul, Ken and hard
one are down, things are tense. Saul, that is you. You find yourself alone on the material plane with Ultras.
I will say, I will say, most of the arcane barriers being down between the two planes,
you can communicate with Cali.
Really?
Yeah.
Can I like kind of see glimpses of them almost?
Yeah.
Cali, I'm holding things down out here, but it's getting dicey, okay? I'm not as good
on the ice as you are. I think we've got just one more barrier. I think we're gonna get
to that one barrier. Can you last until then?
I'll do my best. Okay, do you have potions? I do. Okay.
Okay, hey, did you see Calder? Oh yeah. I look at his lifeless body.
He's doing really good.
He's doing really, really good.
I think a bit of time away has been good for him.
I hope so.
I've got a really, really warm expired mullsons with his name on it.
I just told him that and he laughs so hard.
Anyways, um, do your thing up there and we're gonna be up just so quickly.
Likewise.
Okay.
Heapsuck and Callie.
Right, yeah, you too.
The crowd, the crowd is confused, what?
Let's do this.
And as I make this grand gesture, I am going to just faint and then sprint directly
towards hard one and give him a potion.
Okay, yeah, you've got plenty of movement as a monk.
Yeah, you dive over the snow, run across it,
and manage to feed a potion, a hard one.
Hard one was on Death's door about to croak.
Hard one, you are suddenly jolted back awake
with the help of Saul, you see Saul hovering over you.
Oh my god. Hey, you I love the smell of Saul, you see Saul hovering over you. Oh my god.
Hey, you I love the smell of mushrooms after I wake up from death.
It's feted, you know, it's good.
Listen, you've got a lot of people that you need to see.
A lot of places you need to go and a lot of lives you need to save.
You're not dying here, okay?
None of us are.
All right.
That's a promise I made to my friend, Calder, and as a his promise I'm extending to you now. So get on your feet, hard one
short foot. Let's finish this. You got it frog. Let's go.
A hard one. Kips back up. Sol, you have the rest of your turn.
I'm going to take two attacks on Ultras. Whoa. Fuck yeah. Okay. 19 and a dirty 20.
Both hit. 18 damage. Okay. 19 and a 30-20. Both hit.
18 damage. Okay, you once again crack them across the face.
You hear bones cracking and breaking.
As he regenerates, he's healing slower than he can fight.
So you see, everything's a little bit off center.
Everything's a little bit off-kilter
and you see flashes of this one eye
in the middle of his head.
Stay still, little tag bowl.
What's the price worth it?
Yes, we'll see.
You know what, I've key points left.
I'm gonna burn as many as I can to try and stun him.
Okay, okay.
Okay, so this was an attempted stunning strike.
He will go ahead and do a con saving throw.
Natural 20, he unfortunately passes.
So you, damn.
But he's got another strike.
Try again. Okay, second time. Second time is a 21, he unfortunately passes. So you, damn. But he's got another 20. Do you want to try again? Try again.
Okay, second time.
Second time is a 21, he passes again.
So again, you're punching him and he doesn't seem
to be getting disoriented.
It just as his body breaks, he just goes with it.
Ugh!
Pops everything back into place.
Kali, that is your turn.
Okay.
On this demi plane, it looks like there is one more barrier
keeping you from getting Jaina and Calder out of this place. There is one more lock left
and Lazar. Okay, I'm going to use my action to feed a healing potion to colder. Okay.
So that's 20 hit points, your backup.
Oh.
Bonus action, face step, hoping to frighten Lazar.
And I'm gonna face step right to the barrier
so that if Jaina asks me to attack,
I can try and take down the barrier.
Rad.
Well, that was a tasty potion.
So that's, yeah, so he does a wisdom save as I face step
to not be frightened. Oh, shit. And if he's frightened, I'd tell him a disadvantage. I'd tell him a good vantage. Storytelling purposes. Oh, no, a tasty potion. So that's, yeah, so he does a wisdom save as I face that to not be frightened. Oh, shit!
And if he's frightened, he'll have disadvantaged.
Storytelling purposes.
Oh, no, no, no.
I'm a windsrower, ladren.
I look at him and I look like a tomb of ice and death.
14?
Fails.
He's frightened, so he'll have disadvantaged on all his attacks and ability checks.
And then I teleport to the barrier and I say,
Jaina, you tell me when.
Kali, as you reach this barrier,
you see a blurry image of what's going on
on the other side on the material plane
and you see that things are dire out there.
You see, hard one is barely clinging to life
is on wobbly legs standing up to Ultras and
Saul is trying to hold off Ultras as best he can
But he's the only one in decent health on the battlefield
You see that Kenna is passed out unconscious in the snow
Kenna Kenna I put my hand up and I beat it Kenna
You scream and you hit on the barrier and And as Jaina hears that Ken is in trouble,
she lets out like a gutter-rule yell
as she's fighting off.
The one cultist that's left and Lazar,
but before she can do anything,
that is Ultras' turn.
Oh, God.
Okay.
So back on the material plane,
Ultras is going to take two cracks down on Saul,
this time not using his magic,
just using regular Ultras abilities to swing it down on you,
does make an attack with disadvantage.
Bring it.
That is a 20 to hit Saul.
That's my AC.
Okay, 20 damage to you.
Okay.
That's it, Saul.
Yes, Saul. Bes you across the chest,
you bounce back into the snow,
and he continues to chase you down.
You see the magic from your displacer cloak
is flickering and stops working
as he starts taking the second attack.
How many people is it gonna take to kill one frog?
Is that really all you got?
Just me.
And that's a 21 on the second hit. That's gonna hit for 28 damage. Your boys still standing. Yeah. Two HP. Shout out to the two HP
crew. That is one tough toad. Bash is you into the ground. Tough toadadies and Yeah, blood leaking out the side of your mouth, but you keep getting back up and
Ultras is looking extremely frustrated and you see he he keeps looking distracted and like
Grabbing at his helm and after the last time he hits you and knocks you down into the snow as you start to get back up
He makes like a frustrated sound
I
Will be back for you toad I left you a little parting gift hellish for buke
Go ahead and make a deck saving throw that's one feisty frog
Does past but we'll still take half damage. So you can go ahead and go your your detends
Okay, three points of fire damage but we'll still take half damage. So you can go ahead and go your, your, your detends. Okay.
Three points of fire damage.
Is he down?
Psychologically, it's, it's a good burn.
Because this dude beat the shit out of this little frog
and this little frog just will not go down.
The entire fight tried to shoot you down, cannot,
and as one last fuck you,
as he begins to do the plane shift, you just send a little bit of fire back at him as he thinks he's knocked to out.
I blasted it down his nostrils and say, what's wrong? Got a little frog in your throat? I will save you for last!
I think he gives a thumbs up from behind begins to pick up around you, dust and icicles begin to
gather around you. As Jaina is trying to fight through this one remaining cultist and
Lazar to get to the barrier, to get to you, you see the cultist and Lazar suddenly freeze
and shatter and disappear on the material plane. You see the frost sculptures of Lazar and the cultist show up
and back on the plane right next to you, Cali. Suddenly in front of you blocking the exit is
Ultras. You're not leaving here. Is your beard a bit singed? Sorry, it just looks like
a bit singed. Sorry, it just looks like, did you get too close to a candle? A candle or something? Yes, just a little damn toe, little damn tadpole. Shut the little spark at me.
Hey, hard one, do you see that? I fit him. Yeah, that was awesome.
And Kali, as Ultras appears here, he is looking fucked up. But he has a great command of this place.
And as there is only one barrier left, you see he reaches his hand up and begins to shift
the world around him.
You see this giant frozen tundra begins to narrow and crunch together until there's
a narrow enough path to the barrier that he can just stand
Right in front of it. You are just in this narrow valley as he grabs you by the collar and prepares to attack you
But he does not get to attack yet. He has to wait for a legendary action. Okay. What are you doing?
Keeping you here. I did not think it was your destiny
to remain on this frozen plan,
but perhaps you and Galdor can be together after all.
After Ultras' turn, that is Janus' turn.
Janus no longer has the cultists on her,
but does not have a clear way
to get through Ultras.
So she shouts to Calder and Cali and goes,
I don't know that we can make it another round.
I need a clear shot past him.
She's gonna hold her turn, hold her reaction.
After Janus turn, Ultras is going to use a legendary action
to take a crack at Cali.
Hey. That is a 23 to hit. Ultras is going to use a legendary action to take a crack at Cali
That is a 23 to hit Hit okay, he grabs you by the collar and butts you in the face with the axe for 24 damage
Cali I
Swallow a bunch of blood, but I'm still standing oh my god these guys will not go down
Yeah, Cal, a broken nose.
Shout out to the core for,
I just can't smell abdominal muscles
and I'm thankful for every single crunch I've ever done.
Okay, calder, that is your turn.
Right.
Okay, well you know what,
Ultras is all about personal glory and Calder was secretly hoping
that his way out of the barrier would be directly through Ultras, but I think I
have to go against the spirit of Ultras and
in the interest of teamwork
and in the interest of teamwork, Calder is going to try to just do like a duet skating move,
triple axle, push Ultras out of the way for Jane to get a shot.
Calder, you run towards Ultras.
Ultras, it has just hit Cali, but Cali does not go down.
Turns to face you.
Although you're doing little mouse.
Yeah, the one thing you forgot about us,
our one problem is that we don't know when to stop.
Calder, go ahead and give me a contested athletics check.
I love that. We always insult ourselves to enemies.
We suck and we don't know when to stop.
We're all too much.
Everyone says this about us, in front of our face and behind our backs.
We're a bit much.
We suck and we don't know when to stop.
The 21.
Okay.
He gets a 22.
Fuck.
On the first attempt.
So you go to push him and he grabs you and stops you as you're using all of your momentum to go
and he goes to like grapple you
but you still have one more attack.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Those small yet again.
Ultras, this is right where I wanted you.
And I just fall over myself, not letting go.
Hopefully that he falls on top of me.
That's a 27 for my athletics.
Oh my God.
The way you described it, I thought you did bad.
I thought you got it now one.
I got him now one.
Jesus Christ.
27?
Yeah.
Okay, he got a 25.
Paulder just wrote what happens as you overpower Ultras and I'll say
Callie's there in his other hand fighting against him too, so call
their describe what happens as you push Ultras out of the way.
Great, I guess I like grab him by the collar, try to throw him down and he grabs me back,
but then once we're locked up, I just flip backwards and kind of toss him over
my body using his own momentum.
Right.
You use his own momentum.
Yeah, he goes to, he does not expect you to be willing to hurt yourself in this way
because he smashes down onto you in the snow and you feel your body crunch into the ground.
But you pull him down onto you, something he was not expecting.
Should've known when to stop.
As Jaina sees an opening and Ultras' hit, Ultras begins to get back up.
Instead of attempting to run through and risk it, you see she holds out the King's Hammer,
crackling with magical energy, and she shouts through the plane.
Hard one, catch!
She tosses the hammer and it moves with otherworldly speed.
Ultras reaches for it, but caulder and cally are holding him down long enough for it to
get past him and shatter the last barrier.
Who?
In the arena outside.
Hard one you see the King's Hammer, aka the Queen's Hammer,
appear out of thin air and begin spiraling towards you.
A little old friend. Hard one raises his right hand, opens his fist and catches it.
Snaps into your hands and hard one you feel it, it feels heavy in your hand, but it feels good.
I gotta admit, I missed you.
I kissed the hammer.
You feel it welcoming you back,
the energy of all the spirits inside.
Back in the demi plane, the world begins crumbling.
Cracks of energy form in the sky,
beams of white light rain down and shatter the ice below you as
the white envelopes everything.
There is a massive explosion and when your eyes clear you see that you have been cast
out into the arena back on the material plane, flung to different areas of the pit.
As Jaina lands, end of her, she rushes over to the injured
Kenneth in the snow, fishes through Kenneth's things,
and feeds her potion.
The squire, the injured squire,
kind of coughs as she comes back to life.
And Beleriide looks up at Jaina and goes,
General Broad's beard, did I save you?
Jaina goes, you did, you did my sweet girl.
And kind of hangs on to her.
And you guys are all out here now.
Calder has been free.
Callie is back.
Saul, you see your friends peer back.
Everyone looks insanely fucked up and insured.
Oh.
Calder, Callie.
Hey, it's good to see you, Saul.
Not like this, but, you know, I guess, given the circumstance.
I want to hug you, but it looks like so many of your ribs are broken.
They are, I wouldn't touch them.
Okay.
The performer in me realizes what's at stake and looks to the audience to see.
Absolutely.
Just silence.
Everyone on the edge of their seats just leaning forward.
And you guys look across the battlefield
and your allies are on their last legs,
but so is Ultras.
Ultras has appeared here from the Dami plane.
You see the idea is fallen to one knee
and now that he does not have the power of caulder and jaina
absorbed, you have done enough damage to him to effectively like kill him.
You see his fallen to one knee spilling this demon blood, this black ooze that sizzles
and sprays as it leaves his body.
He grits his teeth and yells, spitting more of it as his body deflates and decays, shredding
parts of his skin and revealing the thick, giant skeleton underneath.
He collapses to both knees before falling to all fours, but next in the initiative is with the last remaining cultists to Ultras' side.
Lord Ultras, you are a conqueror made in the All Fathers image.
You cannot die!
You are the death that you have wrought!
Lazar lifts his staff over his head and casts a spell
that sends necrotic waves of energy through Ultras and himself.
You see the blood seeping from Ultras
erupts and he screams
covered in black flame and smoke
as this happens.
Lazar and the last Coltus' eyes
melt to black putty
and they deflate and collapse to the ground dead.
Ultras screams and expands putty and they deflate and collapse to the ground dead.
Ultrascremes and expands, as he absorbs the violence around him, his muscles inflate, his one eye disappears
and the other expands, then sets itself
in the center of his face, giving him the appearance
of a godly cyclops more specifically, groups.
And from out of the black flames, warped spirit guardians of long dead giants emerge
and begin circling him. They laugh in chorus with their general.
Hard one, that is your turn.
And you see now, you don't even have a clear path to him.
There are spirit guardians.
You guys luckily were cast out kind of to the edges of the arena here.
There is now like, spoiled, defiled earth under him
as all of these spirits gather around him,
like some kind of insane, super spirit guardians.
Hmm, okay.
Hard one looks at the hammer, looks at this, this God, and he says to the hammer, hey boys, I think we have a friend to avenge.
He's gonna call his spirit daddies
to do some spirit on spirit damage on the battle deal.
Who?
A hard one you call for the dwarf daddies,
your spirit guardians.
And from out of the queen's hammer,
the dwarf daddies, the old
dwarven kings appear around you. But as they do, the magic begins spreading and swirls
around Jaina and Kenna. You see, the spirits begin multiplying behind them. And it's not
just kings, it's generations and generations of dwarves of iron deep kids from the dwarf
image, old warriors of iron deep heroes like Ulfgar true acts.
Behind you you see figures from your past who once fought in the war against Ultras' forces,
your uncle red and gunther, your father Elias and your mother Lydia, they put hands on your shoulders.
And as the circle of spirits grow, they touch Saul.
And behind him up here, the bubble nights of old Ezri,
green nights of Galatoran, other small folk and bullywugs.
And as they gather around Saul, they take less of a physical form.
They begin to kind of warp and gather around his fists, filling them with magical energy.
Alright, the spirits reach Calder, and you see Goliaths and Giants.
Frost, Fire, Hill Giants, the ones who resisted Ultras before he even reached mainland Bohumia.
They take up spectral weapons and stand ready to get their revenge. The spirits fan out and surround Cali, where more ghostly beings emerge beasts of Bohemia,
both magical and mundane, who were driven out of their habitats by war or dominated by cruel
beastmasters.
And behind them, Cali, you see an enormous eladron, the size of a giant.
Frost permeates his long sapphire hair.
His light blue skin is freckled with crystalline snowflakes, and he wields a bow, the size of a
goliath.
Are you hurt?
Yes.
I've read a lot about you.
He kind of chuckles and looks down.
Well, I've been watching you cry, be better, and you have no reason to fear this fight.
Because you are of my blood, and our blood already runs cold.
You see, he readyes his bow.
And a hard one behind you, you hear a familiar voice.
Hey, hey, hard one.
I don't know if you can hear me.
You see the spirit of a lanky old Crick elf, long white hair, eye patch, blender busts
of his side.
He shakes you as he speaks to you.
And it occurs to you right away that he's not talking
to you right now.
This is a, it feels like a recording or a memory.
And you realize that you didn't comprehend it at the time,
but this was your last conversation with Cobb, he
was speaking to you while you were knocked out, and it begins flooding back to you.
Grumptious guys saw me run up here.
I'm gonna take him as far as my old legs can run, but you gotta stay here all right?
Cobb, Cobb, come on.
No. He keeps, come on. No.
He keeps talking through you.
Now don't go blaming yourself. I know you're gonna blame yourself, but...
No, fuck.
I ain't doing you a favor alright.
Cove.
You're doing me one.
Let me die, Cove.
Let this old man believe the world.
Knowing that the kids are gonna be alright.
No. The world better with you and it than me, knowing that the kids are gonna be alright.
No, the world better with you than me, Cobb.
What are you doing?
Look after Moonshinebeth from me, yeah.
You see, he begins to walk ahead of the other spirits and turns back.
Or better yet, you don't Moonshinebeth to look after you dumbass.
Hard one laughs and sob. Keep it light. I begged him to look after you dumbass. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha arrow that explodes, creating hundreds of labyrinth and giant spirits behind him, as all of the
other ghosts and spirits charge into battle. There are explosions of light and magic, ghosts
scrappling rates, banshee's battering spirits, his guardians are now engaged in battle and
have stopped protecting him. Ultras has completely lost control of his own body and reverted to the core of his power,
this deal with Grumps, that he made a long time ago
to make him invincible.
That's all he has left.
He cannot be killed, but he can be banished.
You have all now been touched by the magic
of the King's Hammer's Spirit Guardians
and any of you may banish him into it.
But it will need to be a devastating blow.
You will need to hit a 30 on an attack roll to banish him. Whoa, we don't need to worry about
damage or anything anymore. There are no more spirit guardians. The spirits are all tied up. Wow.
After hard one's turn, that is Kenis turn. You see Kenna springs up, just gets ready to react in case anyone goes down.
After Kennes turn, back to the top of the round,
saw that is your turn.
You see, just a war of spirits and ghosts in the middle of the field
and walking through them towards you guys is, looks like Grimch,
doesn't even look like Ultras anymore.
This is a deal gone bad and we're gonna send it right back.
I guess I'll just run forward using these big spectral fists.
I'm just trying, land a couple hits.
Right on.
All right.
That's a natural one.
Okay.
I trip over so many ghosts. Hey, guys!
You get distracted by the ghosts as you run through them.
No.
I feel like I'm at a fucking rock concert.
There's so many people.
What are you doing? Come on!
Yeah, you go past the Oralbe spirits, get up, and you crack him across the face, but it does not do anything.
You see, he just resets his neck and continues to get ready to attack you.
Okay, I'll attack it again.
What the fuck?
Did you roll another map one?
Two natural ones.
Yeah, once again, swats you down into the snow.
Take his dice away.
Emily, take his dice.
Get this out of here. Put it in your tea.
I mean, I can't Put it in your tea.
I mean, I can't let it in this way.
I'm gonna flurry up a little.
Okay, great.
Yeah, you keep getting knocked down.
You get slapped down into the ground
and you go for two more strikes.
We never know when to quit.
We will never let the big die.
Yeah, we're too much.
With dog teams, we sucked with too much.
No, you did it.
I got it too.
Okay, fix it.
All right, he's going up.
He's going up.
Next one should be a three.
All right.
Come on, come on.
It's either a one, two, or a net.
This is going to be something fun.
We're so hard to make this a cool moment.
I'm so sorry.
That's, it's a seven.
That's a 15.
Okay, a 15's not gonna do it.
A salt, you are distracting him though.
You get in there, you are beat up, you have been injured,
but you will not go down, you go up and you go toe-to-toe.
You're the fastest one, so you get in there
like ahead of some of the spirits and attack right away.
Bravely, but there's a thin line between bravery and recklessness.
And Ultras is going to rain down on you with a legendary action.
Oh, yeah.
19 to his Mrs.
All right.
So you continue to be a distraction.
He is just fury incarn carnage swinging at you,
but can't hit you, and you just keep moving out of the way.
If these spirit-reeth arms,
and I'm just reaching up and tugging on his beard,
like a kid on Santa's lap,
ahhhhhh!
Just absolutely roaring.
After the legendary action,
Callie, that's back to you.
All right, I see Saul, and I'm like,
great fucking work.
You are a slippery distraction.
I know exactly what you're doing.
And I'm gonna take my blade,
and I'm gonna run after and try to get him as well.
We, you run through the spirits fighting each other
and launch in.
I look over my shoulder at Ariax,
and I say say watch this.
First attack is an 18 to that missing.
Okay, yeah, you stab into him, but he doesn't react just demon blood pouring everywhere.
Second attack is a 19 on the dice, but that's a 29.
I don't know why I attack. I couldn't do it either, I have a plus nine.
Callie gets in there, keeps swinging on him,
does not manage to put him away.
And then I think that's the best I'm gonna be able to do,
so I'm gonna look at hard one.
And I'm gonna say, this is your fucking hammer,
finish this job, and I will give him
my final bardic inspiration. Okay. Well, be like, you've got quite a legacy in the
Feywild, but I'd love to add another story to it.
Cali, you go and you stab into him, see that it's not enough to
banish him and then with your next strike, instead of going and
trying to kill him or trying to banish him, you attack in such a way that he has to be kind of distracted and go up and
block it.
So he's kind of wrestling with you and Saul at the same time.
Kali, after your turn, Ultras is going to take a legendary action to once again try to
hit Saul, who has been...
I'm just licking his big eyeball over and over again. On the lower one, try to hit Saul, who has been, I'm just licking his big eyeball over and over
again.
On the lower one, 17 to hit.
Yes, it is.
Again, just frothing.
What are you doing, man?
Ali and Saul just both on top of them beating down into him.
Kelly just like beams and she's like, Saul, it's so good to see you.
There's like, healthy and striving. striving and yeah, I have to HP
After the legendary action that is Ultras' turn proper. He is
For all thing trying to kill Saul
Unfortunately on that one he gets a 27 ahead. Okay. He smashes Saul into the ground for 20 damage.
I turn to Callie and say,
after we're done with this, we should all get brunch.
You mean called, ah!
Saul!
Saul!
He smashes him into the snow.
What did you say about brunch?
He runs to Callie and takes his second attack on Callie.
19 to hit you, Callie.
Hits.
21 damage, Callie. 19 to hit you, Callie. Hits. 21 damage, Callie.
I say.
I'll follow you to brunch, Saul.
I'll follow you to brunch, Saul.
And I fall unconscious on top of Saul.
We were gonna split pancakes.
We were gonna do table cakes.
I thought that was nice.
Callie drops out of the air,
Saul drops out of the air, that is Janus turn.
Janus is going to give the help action
to whoever makes the next attack.
You see she pulls out two side arms,
like two smaller war hammers that she do a wields
and she gets ready to charge in...
...called her that's your turn.
I...
We need to go to brunch.
We simply need to go to brunch.
What is this reference?
I don't understand.
Jaina's just confused.
It's...
It's kind of a meal that you have between breakfast and lunch.
No, I know what brunch is.
I know what it is. Why are we talking about it now?
I'm not sure, Saul.
Run it up. Right. I-why, though. I don't... I. I know what it is. Why are we talking about it now? I'm not sure, Saul brought it up.
Right, I'm wide though.
I don't, I guess I never met Saul.
I called her, is called her have any healing potions on him?
Does he, cause he was not with the crew.
Callie is out of healing potions, but Saul has one on his body.
Yeah, okay.
All right, called her is gonna run to Saul
and use an action to give him a healing potion.
Okay. Saul invisions him a mosa being poured into his mouth.
Okay.
Kenna had also had an action prepared.
So, as Saul pops up from this potion from Calder, Kenna is going to run in and pour a potion
into Cali's mouth to bring her back up.
And then is going to turn to Hard One and give him the Squire inspiration for an extra D4.
We gotta do this now, Mr. Shorefoot. All right. Okay, he's got D4, D8. That is your turn.
Okay, as Hard One, you know, D-A. That is your turn. Okay.
As hard one, you know, watch his cob retreat, he realizes that
he listened to himself instead of his friends.
Moon Shining Bev asked him not to go.
Jane asked him not to go.
And now he found out that old cob had asked him not to go. And now he found out that Old Cobb had asked him not to go. And he realizes
that the only thing he can do is to keep on fighting, just like the generations and the generations
before. He nods to Kenna and he strides up and is going to take a swing with the King's Hammer on Ultras. Right on. I'm gonna use a fainting attack to gain advantage.
You walk up.
At first it looks like you're just kind of like swinging
your hammer and walking dramatically.
As you get close you start to speed up and rush towards him.
Yeah.
Then I do one quick strafe and
Yeah. Then I do one quick strafe and that is a 16 on the die.
Becomes a 26.
Okay, you've got a D-A and a D-4.
Okay.
And hard one thinks about hearing Kali,
he say, watch this.
And with that, he smiles and that is a nine on my D8, my D4.
35.
You get up next to Ultras, you swing the hammer into him.
You see all of these spirits wrap around Ultras, starfire from Callali, spores from Saul, as Ultras' body warps and shifts.
Kali and Saul are able to get their hands on it and help you wrestle Ultras down.
As you see, he weakens once again and begins to collapse.
No, no, I will not go back, I will not.
And by pure force of magic will, Ultras begins pushing against the hammer, but then the spirit
guardians, Cobb and all the others launch onto his back and begin pulling him as he slides
towards it.
No, no, small, small folk fools, you're already dead, you're already dead, I already
paid you."
As he screams his words echo and warp as the Guardians drag him into the King's hammer
Ultras has been sealed away once more the hammer drops onto the ground
The crowd roars and that's where we'll end up
Yeah
Fuck yeah, fuck you Ultras. Oh my god. I will confess to not loving that he's just sealed.
It makes it feel vulnerable, but isn't that like all bad things in life.
You just can never fully get rid of that.
So it's pushing it away.
Yeah.
Right.
But now he's in the line.
Now he's in the hammer being guarded by a powerful spirits as opposed to just being in
a helm in Pritsa Shiverblight's collection.
So.
True. You know, like every time the hammerlight's collection. So, whoo. True.
You know, like every time the hammer hits something,
his head gets hit too.
Exactly.
Okay, great, awesome.
No, no, no.
Sweet.
Thank you all so much for listening.
You can listen to us talk more about this over
on our short rest.
patreon.com slash nadpod.
That's NADD.
POD don't sing yet.
Sweet.
I want to sing this week.
I do it man.
I really want to do it. Do it. Does anyone have anything they like to sing this week. I do it man, I really want to do it.
Let's do it. Does anyone have anything they like to plug?
Yeah. I'm reading a really good book.
Okay. What's your book?
Adventures of Amina Al-Sarafi.
Okay.
So fucking good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sweet. Check it out.
Can we have like a little blurb?
It's basically an aging pirate captain
who goes back to the sea for one more job.
Right on.
It's so sick.
Yeah, I'll get that book right now.
And I'm going to plug some of our live shows.
We're going to be in Los Angeles for Dungeon Court on October 26th.
Yes.
Denver for an actual plan, October 27th.
Sacramento for an actual plan, October 28th.
Portland is sold out for Dungeon Court.
Yeah, me. November 14th will be in New Orleans for an actual plan October 28th. Portland is sold out for dungeon courts. Yeah, me.
November 14th will be in New Orleans for an actual play.
November 15th will be in Orlando for an actual play.
And we'll be rounding it out on November 17th
in Fort Lauderdale with a dungeon court lie.
And when we're there, it'll be for La Durdale.
That's very good.
Oh, right.
That makes sense for Lauderdale.
The court lauderdale. For La long, or a long, or a long, or a long, or long, or long.
Or long, or long, or long.
Yeah.
Really good.
And we're going to escape on boat afterwards
so nobody can persecute us in international waters.
And from now on, all of our shows will be done via boat.
Or a long, or long, or long.
Or a long, or long, or long.
That's the same, terrible.
If that doesn't sell out that show, I know.
Well, well.
It's making me very excited for it.
I got one more plug real quick.
I'm doing a fun thing with Jake on October 20th.
Oh, yeah.
A little live stream with headgum.
I'm calling it the Monster Mash Massacre.
It's going to be kind of like a one shot live stream
with a bunch of monster characters.
It should be pretty fun.
Oh, fine. There's a bunch of monster characters. It should be pretty fun. Oh, fine.
There's a lot of fun guests involved on that.
You can go to moment.co-slash-danDD
to grab a ticket.
It's gonna be a live stream that's up on the site
for like 10 more days after that.
Limited event, I'm really excited about it.
So yeah, check it out.
Sweet.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And you can follow us on social media.
There are a mirror ran out use at T.H.H. or me at call this call dwell, at the extra dimly at J.G. or which is Jake and you can follow us on social media. There are many of you around that news at SageRusme,
at ColddewsCallDowell, at the ExtraDemily,
at J-German's Jake, and you can tune about the show
using hashtag NADPOT that's N-E-D-D-P-O-D.
We are the youth of the nation.
We are the youth of the nation.
We are the youth of the nation.
Well, would you look at that?
It's time to thank our benevolent Council of Elders, and they are.
Brad D. Jeffery S. Lord of the Fjord.
You see, later, McSkater, Matt M. Cutter W. Feared Al.
Daniel G. Dylan B. Katie G. Dungeon Mama.
Okay, maybe a little bit sexual.
Daniel B. Dastardly Dame. Beardman Dan, Danny P, Vincent W. Victor T, Boundnor's Boy,
Madison W. Hoyd's Friend, Justin I, Danny Danster, TJM, Trayle the Cray, Christopher B,
Damial R, Jordan L, Cyborg version of Josh the Cooble, the guy from a recent live show
who gave Coldwool a Flintstone graphic novel who is Mill Walken here. Very nice. Princess Yarr, Michael L,
Jory S. Jack L, Nicholas C. Star of every film ever made in Bahumia, not currently starring in
anything in solidarity with Sag After Thank You for that. Samuel B. Mike H. Alka Smeltzer Plus, Great Value Gemma, Adam G. Tyler F. Nebadger, Panama
James, Harajrian Rex Daniel The White, Diana D. L. L. C. C. Lulu, Heratulpoirot, the
rabbit folk detective, Timmy R. Lucas B. Raco, It's Kevin, Lynn Michelle L. Calder's cold come back gave my spine chills, hashtag CCC forever.
Stay frosty fairy followers.
Brandon J. Taylor B. The vengeful one-winged angel.
Cass, skateboard cast.
Captain of the Stevens, Steven C. Mike K. Lady Taco, Joy T. K. Jake L. Nick W. Swashbuckling,
Swag, Snagger, Agniddy, who's inviting everyone to a little picnic
called Monsha's in Central Park on the Hexcher playground lawns.
Hell yeah, I can't wait for that.
William W. Big Bad Beard of the mat, Anna Rama, Zachary A.
Percival, Frederiksding von Mussel, Klowowski, De Rollo, the third, Aiden, the simple dimples.
Vincent the Duke Duke D. The Sandrane, Ben a Dave H.
Catherine S. David K. Christian S. Ryan D. Dustin S. Danny F. Hawkeye Pierce, Bookfars
Assistant Izzy F. DPC is awesome. Sean the shade tree mechanic of Zelboldar, Summer R.
Grandtaire, Kat C. Misa of House in Zunza, Ariel the occasional mermaid,
Selena and aka Valacy Raptor, Beak Perky, always Pat L. Maxwell J. Lauren H. Talia, Ryan S.
The Bone Duster, Annie M. Faye fluffs the fluffiest of Arch-fei. Melissa, ball-business-illustrator, blu-ps-carly-a-conner-savage.
Salil, Leviathan, Bioquart 7, Amber Dexterous, Sullivan H, Jack H. Crabster, champion of
crad, scuttling sideways towards tomorrow. Lindsay W. Steele, Birdie, Vailen, Carlin C, Emily S,
Saul's slimy, sponk hashtag release, the sweet blue hole cut. James G.
Everything Bego, the Latterin who just wants to hang out with his pet, Badger, Stripey,
Daddy, Master, Dandy, Han, Eric B. Stars, Plus, Roses, Farhan, Forever, Can't Wait for Carnegie
Hall, Us to, Marcos. Jordan P. The occasional crit reporter learns the balance druid Dakota JP Frieda M.
Pagos be trodh self-proclaimed Faye Prince until Halloween 2023. Stay tuned.
Tracy P. The Crick Elf Librarian, Maggie S. Holly Hyena, Christen Z. Leah Hunter H. May be
Pixel Stars, Akash Thakar, Andrew Crick Plains Walker, Dufinious Edison, and Russell
H, a monk named Dillgo.
Yes, the whole thing, yes, every time.
Cody C, voice-havering guitar holder of entirely unacclaimed absurdist punk band The Golly G.
Willikers, our friend Simon, to horny the sing one big bed with Lorelai or Kira, he's
been dripless in Dreamland
too long.
Keychains panty into processor.
Laura Lai, the succubus and Kira, her busty queen, Matt M, your friendly neighborhood
Yant and young girl Andrew and Sid.
John Adams, yes, like the president.
Meg the male carrier manager of Bohumia, James F. Jimmy A. M4L, Austin S. Night of the Living Fulster, C.U. in
Denver.
Wayfarer briefly warped out of the favorail to a strange city called Mini-Apple-Hiss
and met a couple of charming justices and B. How lovely.
Shane C. Barpo, Good Barrel, Bard Barian, Mary B. C. C. Yolanda, Chicago, and NYC, perpetual motion, machine unlimited
free energy.
Three awakened gooses, um, the original Jolly Jaster Baby Ha-Ha, Welshlander, Gareth G,
one big curd, Mr. D, Talisman, the man with the lucky charms for you.
Dana the Daisy, Sean J, Ethan B, Renee the Monster Captain, Gabrielle W. Box Clifton,
Olivia the Enchanting Bard who was working hard on her audition for the lead singer of
the mounting Crow's Winter Slade Riley as FICO Angry Wheat J-3001, Thrath the Demon
Lord of Spite, Anthony the Rattest of D dudes who secured his Carnegie Hall ticket for himself
and his lovely partner Josh the finest of dudes.
Josh H Clementine T. Marissa is going to a little picnic called Mons' before seeing that
by live at Carnegie, three sets of three question marks.
Very nice.
Very followers say hi, hashtag, colder, will come, cold again. Cantrip Dumbledore, the bare onesy wearing barbarian.
Yum hop!
MJ, the BFG drinking tea, by the sea.
Little Ferret Pal, dogs of Babel, Ellen or K.
Mr. Miyawski, Genot, Mama Bell, the silver serpent, herself, Funier, Sinat, Spell,
the Wizard, Hannah, Rose, Three, Derek D, Kalu Kalei can't wait to see you play at Carnegie Hall.
Yay. Tristan, E-talentless, Hunk, MJ, Johnson, BTA, Workshop, Mio's The Great Alex K, Joshua P, Joshua S, Alexander, Linins W. Angel, La Pamela Sandra Rita, as this continues, you know he's getting
sweeter.
M.A.S. Red, the Reforged, Warforged, Aiden M. Sexy, little spider waiting for Merf to stop
being weird about this and just date me already.
John M. Brownie, King, a cat sneaking onto a plane for their first U.S. visit.
Hard one's hot, hump, gunk.
Shelby, Kenna's third favorite sprite girl.
If you want to be my patron is her pre-battle guilty pleasure.
Don't tell.
Hard one.
Stale bread on salad aka Kruton.
Jackson R T3R HX official Ned Flanders.
An Estasia W the Honey Goblin.
Novaby the deathcore bard Z Bour Blake H, Big Bev, Bestie, Lloyd the Rat that will control
your Sarah Bellum at Carnegie Hall.
Yes, Sally is so excited to see everyone in NYC and wants to thank her Dungeon Daddy
Ryan for getting her into D&D and NAD pod.
Shelby C, Pop-O Sky Days, Mimaw Sky Days, Taylor B, O, it's V. Tommy W. Mike and Lisa sending love to Y'all, Haley, the human
Megan N. The big M. John F. The Dice Lander, Stephanie of House and Zunza, Jake's ramen shop,
Tracy P. Cargish, Benjamin A. Sacrificial Otaku, pen name for Kelly's cousin who discovered
anime and is trying to spread the word all over Bohemia. Saved the advisor to Princess Shiverblight who helped decide that it was indeed a good
idea to help out the other dragons.
Very nice, thank you.
A misunderstood kid whose upbringing was mostly just fine.
The terrible trio of George, Chester, and Toad, Michael A. Shanimal, commander of the fifth
anniversary live show Pocket Foster, Army, Hell Yeah, Angie A. Normal Astimal, Commander of the 5th Anniversary Live Show, Pocket Foster Army, Hell
Yeah, Angie A. Normal Astude, and of course Liloth.
Thanks everybody.
That was a Hate-Bum Podcast.
Hey there, mad pulls.
Jake here to let you know about some very exciting live shows we've got coming up on
October 26th.
We'll be in Los Angeles for a dungeon court live at the
Palace theater. There are tickets still available at nadpod.com slash live. In the next two nights,
October 27th and the 28th will be in Denver and Sacramento for some actual play episodes.
Our other dungeon court live is sold out in Portland. So get your tickets either in LA,
Denver or Sacramento while they last can do that over at NADPOT.com slash live.
Thanks so much. We will see you out there.