Not Another D&D Podcast - D&D Court: The Player's Judge (w/ Lou Wilson & Zac Oyama)
Episode Date: August 19, 2021Dungeon Court is back in session! Join Supreme Crit Justices Murphy, Axford, Tanner, Oyama, and Wilson as we review your cases. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-sh...ow and a bunch of other Naddpod content!CREDITS:Dungeon Court Theme Song by Sam WeillerSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Goodbye, Sweeties.
Hey, everybody.
Just wanted to put a quick message up top
in case you didn't see our Patreon
or our tweet message about this,
but we had a problem with a corrupted SD card
that has delayed the release of the episode
so rather than doing D&D card at the end of the month,
we'll do it this week.
And then next week we will release the next episode of Elder Morn. We've got a really great
episode for you, two great guests, so we hope you enjoy on what the show.
Welcome to Dungeon Cords.
Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, and Bill of Jake is on vacation, but we do have two guests. The players judge Lou Wilson. I'm here.
Yeah, I'm here.
And I'm here and I'm here to defend the players' rights.
That's right.
Because they have them.
And we have a very DM-focused conservative judge, Zach O'Yama.
I'm also here.
And I'm here.
I'm here.
I'm on the DM side.
Always. Yeah. All we know is that one player will die tonight
Hey, and I'll tell you someone's gonna go to court for it tomorrow morning
Okay, well since since bail of Jake isn't here. I've been demoted
Why not because of my partiality for Blasting Grandma.
Um, and I'm cute.
It's usually Black Skin Grandma.
Blasting, okay, Blasting Grandma.
We had a story.
We had a story.
Makes it out of place.
I was like, that is like wild episode of DM course.
We got a question about shapeshifting.
It went in a weird place.
Okay, got it.
God, it was like, we gotta answer this.
All right, yeah. Can we go back to that one?
Oh.
Okay.
Here, ye, here, ye.
Crit is now in session.
The honorable Supreme Crit,
Justice's Murphy, Tanner Wilson,
and Oyaama presiding.
May it please the court.
We have our first case.
Are you already?
I'm so pleased.
I'm so pleased.
I'm so pleased. I'm so pleased. I'm you already? I'm so clean. I'm so clean.
Okay.
Kaden P. writes, may it please the chord?
My girlfriend and I regularly play D-
I know what these are gonna be, and then I wanna laugh.
Okay.
Emily, put on your bail of mask.
May it please the chord?
My girlfriend and I regularly play D&D with some friends of ours,
and I normally help her create the character.
The problem is whenever the time comes for,
I'm not gonna do this.
I'm not gonna do this.
This one is great.
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. your job. Okay. The problem is that whenever the time comes for her to come up with a name,
Emily, you have to read it. You can do this. You've got to. You have to. You have to.
You believe in you. The problem is, okay, all right. We're waiting. We're waving. Just like that,
we're waving. We just asked you. This is about to be 20 minutes of this podcast.
Come on, and we question number one.
Question number one.
She's crying from reading like two dry sentences.
She is.
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Okay.
And this is why you had to start with the beginning
because nothing gets ready to say exactly.
So let's go back.
All right.
We just listened to Send in the Clown.
So I knew to go to that dark.
Yes, there's a context for you guys at home.
Okay, may it please the court?
My girlfriend and I regularly play a D&D
with some friends of ours,
and I normally help her create her character.
The problem is that whenever the time comes
for her to come up with a name,
she always names her character at the same thing.
Please say it.
Please.
And if this outer all quit.
Uh, whatever she always names her character the same thing.
My grandfather's full first and last.
One time I asked her what her character's backstory would be and she said he would have
been in the military and has two kids and three grandkids just like my grandfather and
is even married to a woman with the same name as my grandmother.
I'm normally able to talk her out of this by claiming it would ruin both of our immersion
in the campaign and would honestly just feel a little weird to call her my grandpa's name.
But last time she seemed genuinely upset that I wasn't okay with it.
I wouldn't mind if she wanted to play some sort of joke character or even some other
generic grandfather.
I just would rather she didn't play my grandfather.
Should I allow my girlfriend to roleplay as my grandpa or am I right in thinking it's
kind of weird.
Thanks.
What?
I mean, I'm like in doozy.
There's one like a copypasta, right?
That's crazy.
The idea that this is a situation that this person has been in twice.
Twice, they've been like,
and they said every time, every time they try to create a character.
And they played the indie regularly.
And this time it upset time it upset the girlfriend.
I got to ask, do you think that she does a voice
when she plays the character?
I think she hasn't got an opportunity yet.
Can't impede did not elaborate on that,
but I think we can imagine that we've yet
to see her actually play the grandpa.
This is either the driest joke or this person is crazy.
I'll save my judgment for later, but there is a wild space that this person is occupying
with.
I want this.
I can't imagine somebody honestly looking at me in their eye and pleading with me to be
like, I'm going to be like, let me lie your grandpa.
I think the tell is that she's tried to do this like three times, right?
That's not a possible time.
Okay, it's getting iffy for me then.
Well, I mean, you know, devil's advocate.
If she's gonna commit to playing his grandma, grandpa, excuse me.
And just is really going to dive
into it and just really like be that character and different versions of that character. Sure.
Yeah, you know what? I'm also going to weigh in and say, Murphs, one of Murphs'
grandma's was an awesome person and like, it would be cool to honor her.
Who knows how he he so bizarre?
What is every moment where you like pull a detail?
It's like, yeah, me and like my, my, my steed,
walk up to the frosty freeze where you win like the dry cleaners
when we get a lollipop out.
And it's like, wait, what the fuck is happening?
I'm just picturing someone like rolling up
and saying like, ah, a Betty Ruth, Mounts her steed.
Yeah, it's no good.
I don't like it.
Do they give the grandpa's name?
Is it something like Gandalf or like, is it in that?
Yeah, is it wizard?
Like, is it wizardly?
That's a really good question.
KDMP doesn't supply that information.
And I am led to assume it's because KDMP's grandpa
is an incredibly famous person.
And therefore, cannot resume.
John Lethgow. John Lethgow.. I like to name my character John Littgaon.
When I was in high school, a similar story that happened to me where
I, there's a new kid at school, we had an English class where for some reason for this project,
we had to make new email addresses to do everything on this project with.
And I was like helping this new kid get logged
into the school system or whatever,
and he was like, thanks.
And then when the time came to make up email addresses,
he was like, what's your name?
It's Zachoyama, and he just made his email.
Zachoyama.
Zachoyama at hotmail.com.
And I was like, I was like, what?
Oh no. I feel so
that's the first thing or was he just like he was just strange and had like a
really dry sense of humor and it was it's really funny but I was just like so
dumbfounded I just did not know how to react because I was like, oh, I, uh, okay. Yeah. Please.
Oh my god.
Nobody's emails that way. I'm a hot male by the way. I mean, I don't have it. I don't know.
I will not go miles. Maybe we'll answer.
No. Good Lord. Okay. Yeah. I'm going to say you're also rolling the dice with grandparents.
Right? Because if you start a campaign, uh, oh, grandparents are old. They could pass during the campaign.
Yeah, so you're playing with fire.
Some of the pins are years long.
I'm confused by their constantly re-rolling characters.
I'm wanting to play the grandpa every time it's so funny.
Alright, let's go to the ruling. I'm saying, so funny, love it, but you are right to say that you're not
loving my grandpa.
Right.
It's like, yeah, let's all acknowledge that the bit is good.
Yeah, it's a great bit.
It's a tasty, incredible.
Yeah, great.
Just imagining playing any of your grandparents and I'm already uncomfortable.
What's up, guys?
A solid Wilson rolls up to the table.
That was the DM in a weird spot too,
or it's just like, you have to fight your own grandpa?
I would.
Oh, yeah.
And you're suddenly the grandchild of your girlfriend
in this situation.
Yeah.
Oh, right.
My gosh.
This is co-host.
Yeah, the layers to this are, um, are thick.
It's an nasty idea.
Yeah, as a DM, I feel like I have a lot to consider always.
And it must, I don't think I can handle that.
This is an extra knife.
It didn't occur to me how much now.
After hearing that story, Zach, for the next dimension 20 season,
I may be all be named Zach.
But it's with a K, so it's different.
Perfect, Thank you.
And that's what I was hoping.
It is so truly strange.
If you're out there and you name your thing, Zako Yamma,
I will not acknowledge it at all.
You will get nothing.
You'll get absolutely nothing for me to be able to.
Is anyone defending playing somebody's grandpa?
Of course I am.
If you are, it's the player.
Despite it all.
But despite it all.
All right, do I understand how weird it looks?
Of course I do you're fellow judges. Oh my god. We look at the evidence lay at alpha for us and
We got a freaky situation
Nothing in the players handbook about this
I am I'm not even going to lean on my own words. I'm not leaning on the words of my fellow judge,
Judge O'Yama.
We have to give room to the nuance of the performance.
We are denied, we are never giving birth
to what could be the greatest D&D character
to ever exist.
I have to agree, you know?
Just think about how many lives your grandpa could have had.
Wow, and we get to see those things.
Think about your grandpa while shaping into a tiger.
Exactly.
What if that had been his life?
What if that had been his experience into the war?
I mean, I'll say that my experience with playing characters
is like, there are times when it really feels like you're being inhabited by someone else.
Right.
And if you could, if the grandpa could be coming and making some decisions, perhaps it's the most interesting outcome to play someone who exists already.
I, uh, whatever, I rest my case. The player is right.
He's one over most people not me
I mean that's that's good. I think that's good
Overall did Lou win over enough people I'd say we since there's five of us now we have to
Vote otherwise it'll be a split
You know I'm gonna vote for the girl who wants to play
split. You know I'm gonna vote for the girl who wants to play some crap. Right. Yeah. There's no version of Emily that
doesn't vote that. I do think yeah. Like they've tried it
several times they've suggested the bit. You got to let it
play out. Yeah. You got to end the DM's punishment. The
sentence is to fight your own grandma. Yes. You just have to
play in the game. Exactly. You have to explain this to your
grandpa in real life.
I would say.
Yes.
I'm just picturing this scene with the DMs like Delarax lifts his mighty savor and runs
Pep, Pep through.
Exactly.
I will say though, Kaden, you are absolutely right to think it's weird.
Yes.
So it's actually, you're right to think it's weird, but I also do sign with.
Wow.
I think we got it.
You have to let it play out.
And that will even give you more room to be like,
hey, we did it.
And it was the worst thing you know, you've ever done.
Yeah.
I would like to give the caveat that I
don't support it if they bail on the performance of Grant.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Very true.
I want a full character study. You know, speaking of bail on the performance of Graham. Oh, yeah, yeah. Very true. I want a full character study.
You know, speaking of bailing on performance
is actually perhaps we should sentence first.
So we did.
We did.
They have to explain to their grandfather what this game is.
And their name is being dragged through the.
Speaking of bailing on the performance,
the next one is a story of someone with big dreams, a player
who's big dreams, but they're not following through. My little kid! Right! May I please the court and of course
the disgraced Axford. One of my players has essentially trapped me into letting them play a character
that is obnoxiously complicated, and I'd like to know how okay it is for me to kill them and make them start over.
His character is a changeling with six, with the souls of six characters bound to it.
Each soul is a different 15, level 15 class.
There's a fighter, wizard, sorcerer, or...
No.
...and more.
The soul that he plays as is randomly chosen once per in-game week by rolling a D6.
He also has an artifact that allows it that lets him choose a specific character for one
hour a day.
Sounds cool, right?
Well, we've been playing for a year and the player has no idea how to play any of these
characters.
Last week, you wouldn't have-
Inexcuseable.
Absolutely.
Inexcuseable. Last week, he rolled the wizard been exclusively. Absolutely, inexcusable. That's such a power gamer to win this.
Last week, he rolled the wizard for the first time
and told me, I never picked any spells or a subclass.
I'm sure I don't need to tell you.
It's impossible to build a level 15 wizard
in the middle of a session.
I tried making him reroll, but he just
decided not to cast any spells during this.
It's your killing, Lou.
Your killing, Lou. It has to figure out if you're defending the player. Everyone else talk. I spells during this. It's your killing Lou. You're killing Lou.
Lou has to figure out a different player.
Everyone else talk, I've got this.
At this point, we waste so much time on it
that the rest of the players get annoyed
every time he brings it up.
I have an idea for a way to ice him
involving a revenant made up of the former bodies
of his character, Souls.
If I design an encounter around it,
that's only 99% likely to kill him.
Is that okay?
I throw myself on the mercy of the people's heart.
That is, the fact that this has been going on
a year is surreal.
I love it.
I love it.
It was thrown in so subtly
that the other players are having a bad time.
Yeah.
I mean, it was like, I lost any sympathy for the situation
when it sounded like the character,
the person did not understand how to play the character.
If he one thing if somebody was like,
I wanna do this crazy character,
but I played D&D a million times.
So like if Emily wanted to build four or five
level 15 characters, I think she could do it
and play competently.
This person didn't prepare spell. I actually she can do it and play competently. Yes, this person I
I actually haven't done any spells or
So they didn't cast spells as a wizard. So what did they even fucking do?
Why do they want to do this? Oh, I know some cantraps. I could do that. Yeah, okay
I can I get is this a little yeah, so defend defend this easy. This is this is so easy guys. Okay quite simply this is this I'm not
Okay, all right. Well, it's hot in the room. Oh quite simply. I'm gonna take my keys out of my pocket
They're distracting me you broke a glass, you know quite simply for me. This is on the DM. All right
You know, quite simply for me, this is on the DM, all right? Mmm.
Oh, they did a lot of it.
First time we have been doing this shit turn about for three,
a full year, a full year, ladies and gentlemen.
I understand that we look at the evidence here.
We look at it as it's laid out,
this is a freaky situation, okay?
But we have to ask ourselves how we got here in the first place.
Yeah.
And quite simply, this DM has had
A whole year to say hey man if you rolled a wizard would you know what you were doing?
The wrong person's on trial exactly, but they didn't ask I
I think that the DM needs to step up
Okay, it's just step up and support their players, right?
In helping them shape the story they want to tell.
And this DM is taking the responsibility.
That is his and giving it to the player.
The player is innocent.
The DM is guilty.
I rest my case.
I love how sweaty that was,
but the DM has so much to prepare it if you want to play a complicated character
It's probably on your show. They had they did have to presumably have like a session zero or something where they're like look
I want to do this idea where I play six characters and I roll a new character every time and
This DM said yes
Yes, so maybe that maybe that is the DM's what they did wrong was they allowed it to begin.
And the book stops there, right?
A year in you are regretting a choice you made.
You know, players are little innocent children that need to be held and coddled and taken care of.
I think the victim of the disease is sexually.
We have to look at the institution. to be held and coddled and taken care of. And take them care of. And take them care of. And take them care of.
And take them care of.
And take them care of.
And take them care of.
And take them care of.
And take them care of.
And take them care of.
And take them care of.
And take them care of.
And take them care of.
And take them care of.
And take them care of.
And take them care of.
And take them care of.
And take them care of.
And take them care of.
And take them care of.
And take them care of. And take them care of.
And take them care of.
And take them care of. And take them care of. And take them care of. And I will say, really, on the side of the DM is saying, yes, really, on the side of the player is saying, no.
And I would say it's definitely okay to kill this player.
It's a mercy killing.
And it honestly sounded like a cool narrative.
Yeah. Yeah.
It wasn't like, how to know where.
I was like a revenant of all the bodies they've been
inhabiting and doing a bad job inhabiting.
Yeah. Yeah.
And then you know how to play them all in the player process.
You find out what the fucking subclass of the Wizard is
as it just fucking firebots.
I feel like you don't even kill the character.
You just like bring all these revenants back
and then shame them into giving up these pieces
of their soul that they're not playing.
You're like suck all the characters out of them.
Right.
Now you know what, that's interesting.
Yeah, they get the boring version of their character.
That's their character.
Lou, can you defend not killing this character?
I would argue, okay, here's the thing.
I'd love to make a, I'd like to make a plea bargain.
I would like to take a reduced sentence that perhaps the
Revenant does a soul sucking thing and takes away
Most if not all but one of the characters and leaves them with just my different
Yeah, but just one of them the one that they know how to do right can play for fun the one that they know
That is you and kill all the other one. Yeah, I don't disagree with that
I would love to offer that as a plea bargain. You know, I think I think there's room in there
I know we could write this one for a while.
You want to settle this out of court.
That's what I would love to do.
Especially as a DM, you probably have an idea
of which one they're the best at playing
and enjoy playing the most.
Yes, exactly.
So you're able to, I think creating a narrative opportunity
to refocus them rather than fully be like,
this is gone, let's start again.
Also, you could like, while they're doing,
like let's say you get them down while they're doing death saves,
you can like narrate some crazy thing that is like,
you see tendrils of these former bodies
and then you get to choose which one you grab on to
and then it sucks you back into life.
You like the tendrils.
Yeah, I love the tendrils.
You're on the tail, three dead saves
and like you feel like one of your characters die.
Oh!
You get a character death without a character death.
I mean come on.
Yeah, it could be someone like stealing these characters away and then you have to like rescue
them.
Yeah, that's fun.
I love it.
You can't even burn your ready.
Yeah.
Okay, so we're kind of burning in favor of like it's okay to try and kill the player
But also like be open to these plea bargains. Maybe we settle it outside. Oh, right?
Ultimately kill them or get rid of their character somehow. I think we're all on
So this is someone still needs to be sent in right player. I guess maybe I mean like standard plea bargain
Someone just pays a lot of money. Yes, I was
Play Maybe I mean like standard plea bargain someone just pays a lot of money. Yes, I would play the player. I was actually
$5,000. Yeah, I think we you know, let's involve the dice, right? Let's roll a D
100 and see how much I owe you. You can send that $5,000 to Zachoyama at hotmail.com
The soup can thing up there. Yeah, rabbit. Let's roll, um, okay.
Maybe a D6 times a thousand?
Yeah, D6 times a thousand, uh,
1,000, 1,000, 1,000, that's easy.
We're gonna settle it for a thousand bucks.
Great, guys, thanks so much.
Thank you so much.
I can't wait to call this player
and tell them how great a deal we got.
Because we should be dead.
Quite simply, we should be dead. Quite simply we should be dead.
Just remember, you have Vimbo, right?
I have Vimbo.
Yeah.
And cash out.
Yeah.
OK.
Next one, I'm actually going to pivot to one that's
some bad PC behavior because I literally want to see Lou.
Stop making me do this.
This is hard.
B says, may it please the court,
I DM'd one shot for friends who have played once before,
and one friend who is new, their character name was Trent,
wanting to keep things simple and fun for everyone
I made a really straightforward story.
Hack and slash through a forest, defeat an evil necromancer,
possessing the animals in the forest.
However, at the end, when the big, bad evil guy revealed
he was the one hired to enter the forest
because he needed their divine nature magic to perfect his formula.
Trent, this character said, okay, your plan sounds cool.
I'm joining the bad guy now.
I told Trent that the bad guy didn't need any more henchmen and also didn't seem interested
in the offer.
And even had the bad guy say, if you don't care, I need to kill you so I can just use your
arm.
Immediately Trent described to us and grew some detail how he cuts off his own arm.
While everyone watches I told him are you sure because you'll die he said yes. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Fused why the bad guys magic wasn't resurrecting as well as why the party wasn't helping either
Finally he got pissed at me specifically and told me that
Had it out for him and that I was being unfair was I being unfair?
Should I have not let his character do this should I have done anything differently?
PS it was also my birthday if that
differently, PS, it was also my birthday, if that's- Ah!
Oh my God!
Oh my God!
Oh my God!
Oh my God!
Oh man, this is the whole-
Oh, you need to-
I'm going to condemn the player, the character,
you can't be friends with this person anymore,
you need to leave your home.
Yeah, Lou, what do you have to say?
Oh no.
Can we just talk about it generally?
Just make observations on the story, and then- I think it's time for you to tell us. Yeah, yeah just talk about it generally. It's just making observations on the story. I think it's time for you to tell us.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's the best part as you can tell in the way
that it's written that Trent, like this was a fight.
They got into an argument.
Like he wouldn't ask this unless Trent really made him
feel bad about his choice.
I was so on board with Trent until Trent pitched this.
Hi, I'm glad.
As soon as you hear the name Trent, you're like, uh-oh.
My favorite.
I guess the commitment to chopping off your own arm
for what you believe.
And I'm like, all right, this sucks.
But for what he believes in, the fat guy was like,
doesn't like you, does not have, has enough henchmen
says, don't do this please stop it's
like bowing to Darth Vader being like I would like to join the dark side and being like
you're not a Jedi you're not powerful you suck oh pull my teeth out
Darth it's called oh I do not want you to do that I'm yanking you're not gonna get
you're not going to be my apprentice let me me be puppeteed. Leave. Let me meet up.
Leave.
I mean, I think this is a great example of maybe D&D
or just hanging out with people is not for everyone.
Not everyone should have friends.
That's the way it goes, the problem.
And I won't lie, I'm not going to take this case.
I just, I cannot take this case.
It's your record. I absolutely cannot. This because I think for me is this much
to Merfs immediate point. This goes beyond the spectrum of being a bad PC.
This is a bad person. This is an actively awful, like this, this person is
ruined your birthday. It's ruined your birthday. And I can't defend the person.
I can defend a PC.
I can defend every moment up until he steps out.
His character is dead and he steps out of the game
and starts to get mad at the player.
That I can't defend at the DM.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right, starts to get mad at the DM the person
as the person, as himself, self, the human being.
I'm not an actual lawyer, okay.
I defend people in the...
It's just a shocking lack of awareness on top of a shocking
lack of awareness on top of a shocking lack of awareness.
Yeah.
Whenever the NPC just tells you no, and you keep going,
it's always just, your character is going to die now.
That is just what is going to happen.
Yeah.
When your DM says, are you sure?
Yeah.
And even that's a little bit subtle.
It's like, this is going to be a little dangerous.
Are you sure?
Then you're taking your life in your own hands.
Let alone being like, I joined the bad guy
and the bad guy saying, don't do it.
Yes, no.
The one, no. No, no.
The best part is just imagining the silence
as people are like, okay, he just gruesomely cut it off
for some more.
That's insane.
We're seated to gruesomely describe it for everyone.
I saw it.
And it just like does that.
Then everyone's like, okay, it's their birthday.
We're gonna keep playing at Trigger.
What?
What is this? What?
What is this? Whenever we get questions like there's a movie shocked
because this DM that wrote this question
sounds like a very kind person. I'm like, I could be friends with this person.
Yes. How are you friends with Trigger?
How are you friends with Trigger?
How are you in the same way?
I'm playing a sounding person.
Yeah.
Like, did I do something wrong?
This maniac ruined my birthday.
It doesn't sound I do anything wrong.
I picture literally every hang of theirs ending like...
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, how do you go get pizza with this person?
Yeah, exactly.
What do you mean?
Maybe Trent is a really good pizza chef.
Or maybe Trent rolls up with like,
got one thing,
he's got like a chafing dish ready to go.
Maybe they play at Trent's sick apartment.
Of course, that overlooks the whole city.
And it's like right on the river.
Trends in high banker.
Mixing.
I can't imagine Trends good in a job interview.
No, I can't imagine.
No, I mean, I don't get the job.
I've got to see Trend on the floor.
You've got to see him at the exchange.
Yeah.
Good, Lord.
OK, everyone's against Trend.
Yeah, this guy's got to go.
I say we sent him to saw if he saw off his actual off.
In gruesome details.
Okay, next up we have from Daniel B.
May, please the court and the incredible dashing
and most honorable bailiff.
There was actually a lot of ones that were addressed
thinking that Jake was the bailiff.
Did you write that it was you this time?
Yeah, but it's so hard to hear.
You would have to like read more, define it outside.
I just wanted to read the entire time.
To read the thing you submitted to.
Take Jake's compliments.
Yes, no, they're for the bailout.
I am DMing a campaign with homebrewed magic system,
which uses souls of the fallen to cast spells.
Essentially, you use souls instead of other components.
One of my players is a war forge
she was created by one of two warring kingdoms.
He has a great long-term arc,
coming to terms with being a war forage
and his whole backstory revolves around it.
In a recent session, I gave my players the opportunity
to pull from an expanded deck of many things
and I brought a cool deck of cards
to the session and make it fun.
The war forage decided to draw and drew a card
that would turn him into a human.
The player became despondent and seemed genuinely upset
so I narrated a way for him to turn back into a Warforge
through divine intervention.
Was I wrong to do this?
Should my player have accepted his fate,
I humbly await your judgment.
Oh, it sounds like if your player was actually despondent, then you've got to, you don't want anyone to be and you're just a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more got to go down in like a heroic way.
But in this case, if the character is like,
if they're like, this is why I'm playing this character is for this.
And then once you take that away, I don't want to play anymore.
Then to me, that makes sense for the DM to be like, okay, I'm going to, I'm going to ex this.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, I kind of, I was thinking, I was kind of just thinking that this is just a really nice DM.
And I wanted to include it.
Yeah, that's how they made it.
Yeah, yeah. I mean, did everything right. Yeah, this is like a sad version DM and I wanted to include it. Yeah, that's how they made it. Yeah, yeah.
This is like a sad version of that futureama episode
where Bender becomes a human.
Oh, I don't know if I've ever seen a Bender.
It's a great episode.
It's been a long time since I've seen a Bender.
Oh, yeah.
Bender loves being a human because he can like smoke and drink
and like eat food, but then like he realizes
that like humans die and their flesh is soft.
And he gets tired and hates the fact that when you smoke,
it hurts your lungs.
So I think you've already got that sadness right here.
You don't even have to go through Bender's arc.
He's already sad.
So maybe just build that in.
I mean, you can turn it back instantly
or you can go through a bit of like a little quest.
I guess I was thinking like maybe it could have,
like in the future, something that like this happened,
it's cool of you to clock your player's despondence
but you could also like put it in your backpack and be like,
oh, now I have something that they want
and I'm gonna give it to them someday.
And it's really interesting.
Yeah, I think it depends on what the care,
if the player playing it is like cool,
I will use this and incorporate it into the war forged thing.
That's cool, but there's also just times
where people are like,
this is specifically why I'm playing this character
and this makes me unexcited to play the character now.
I don't wanna play it anymore.
Cause it would be the equivalent of like,
for elder more, if we were just like,
Jabari is now the cast of Spellin' You,
and he's a Piss Your Pants coward.
Oh, okay you.
Yeah, he's so scared.
He's so scared of fighting.
I can play that, that's fun for me.
I enjoy taking come to terms with that.
That's an arc I can get into, let's pivot, let's pivot.
I think it is interesting though to like, think of it in the way of like, you know, depending
on the mechanics of being a war forage in this world, like if it's like they were a
human or something that became like because I think that's like a lot of war forage.
It's like they were like a humanoid thing.
Like maybe they're like, this is just me pitching different story.
Yeah, no, but that's fine.
But like, if they were just, it came back as like
a different guy, you know, like maybe there's something
like, well, I don't want to be just a different guy.
Like, you know, I want to be who I was.
And like, you know, just like making, you know,
in the same way in our home game, like I became a werewolf.
Yeah.
And had to deal with that for a while.
You can just, it's like, it's almost like a
like and threppy kind of thing.
Yeah, I think that's what I'm thinking is that
like I as a DM would probably panic and just be like,
whatever you want, you can be whatever you want.
I am do it.
But I think that there's something cool to like a DM being like,
oh, I see this is important.
Like, let's make this, this will be a quest that has stakes for them.
Like having that sort of confidence to take a step back
and not just immediately give them.
Yeah, yeah. It's really hard to clock in the moment. Yeah, I think I can take a step back and not just immediately give them. Yeah, yeah.
It's really hard to clock in the moment.
Yeah, I think I can take a time out.
Like as soon as that happens,
I say fully, I would just panic and be like,
yeah, actually the death card is the death of the second.
Because the death of the second is the death of the second.
It wasn't worth it.
The word is fondant.
Yes, to me it's not like,
because if somebody's, if you use a word like crushed
or something, that sounds like an emotion
that's in the moment of being like, oh, I'm sad because this character I'm friends like crushed or something, that sounds like an emotion that's in the moment
of being like, oh, I'm sad because this character
and friends with died or something,
like you can use that for motivations, you can change.
When you're just bonded and it's just like,
this person is depressed
because they don't wanna play their character anymore.
And that's no fun.
But maybe if they had a beat to think about it,
that's not insane.
They would have stumbled on one of these stories
just like, oh, actually, I was coming to terms
with being a WarForge, now that I'm not a war forage
I want to be one again. What does that say about me? It's probably not time during the session for them to go out to dinner together
But maybe just like leave everyone at the table and be like we gotta go to dinner. Yeah, yeah emergency dinner
We're going to we're going to CGI Friday
Potato skins and we're gonna work this out
We're gonna get a couple of potato skins and we're gonna work this out. Bear, you guys play strad while we're gone.
Yeah.
Yeah.
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Okay, that's it for me me go team pants and enjoy the show
I would say I mean I think we're all in agreement that you did the right thing by your player
Like yeah clocking that somebody was uncomfortable and then pivoting yeah, you should always do that I think that's great. I think in the future if something like that pops up
I think you can just chat with them about it.
There's nothing wrong with taking a time out.
Can we award a boon as opposed to a punishment?
She has.
Okay, yeah, that's right,
because there's not really anyone in the wrong here.
Yeah.
Maybe just free meal at TGF Friday.
Yeah, you guys just go to TGF Friday.
Exactly.
I mean, it's gonna be free, but my boon is
at their all war forge now, sorry. Wow, I like that. Everyone in the camp. Exactly. I mean, it's gonna be free, but my goodness, they're all WarForge now, sorry.
Wow, I like that.
Everyone in the camp.
God, I wanna play WarForge so bad.
It's just really fun.
I don't know.
Yeah, I think you guys all go to TGI Fridays.
Can you talk out if you wanna,
I'm retcon this or if you wanna retcon retconing it.
Yeah.
There it is.
So email Zachoyama at Hotmail.com.
Yeah, for your TDI Friday's gift art, yes.
Please.
That's a funny joke, Jack.
It is honestly so funny.
It shouts me to this day.
Wait, did he like kind of like have a straight face
and then crack and be like, yeah, that's ya.
Not really.
Like, new kid at the school didn't know anyone like,
yeah, I should probably like talk to him and like,
and then this happened and I was like,
are you kidding?
I can't talk.
You know what I mean?
You know what he did?
Having the confidence to do it.
You know what he did?
He fucking dunked on you for status.
Dr. Yow, but it was like,
I'm gonna zero win on his.
He just hacked him down a peg. No, like, this joke was for no one. I'm gonna zero win on his. It's just hacking down the peg.
No, like this joke was for no one.
I don't think anyone else heard it.
Hey, somebody was literally just burning a bridge.
I think I'm gonna be burning a bridge.
Shock it.
Emily's onto it.
I think this kid was out for your identity.
He was like, how about it?
I'm gonna get some of these Zachoyama emails.
I'm gonna show up at the events
that Zachoyama thinks he's going to.
I'm like, what's up, my myel?
This is true. I'm getting all the at the events that Zach O'Yahlema thinks. I'm a man. Yeah, to keep that email.
I'm imagining he forgot 20 seconds later.
Really?
Mm.
I'm just, yeah, I don't know.
Did you ever just like say a really dry joke
and someone just kind of took you seriously
and then it wasn't even worth laughing at
because they didn't think it was funny.
So you just live with the fact that they hear notes.
I fucked up.
Yeah, and he's like, that's just me. OK, this is actually kind of reminding me of one of,
because there's a weird social dynamic that is it a joke?
Is it not in one of these questions?
Great.
So I will now pivot to Flando M.
May I please the court?
I was starting a new game with some people I'd just met.
The DM encouraged us to write some backstory.
And because it was a virtual tabletop,
we could see what each other had written. One player's backstory
said that he was a player in an advanced sword art online style VR video game
which was simulating our game. When we got together I asked that he changed the
backstory because basically it turned all of us into NPCs and his
he refused saying that how he wants to think
about his character's backstory is his own business.
The DM sided with him and things escalated
to a point of me bowing out of the campaign,
but I need your wise judgment.
Was I making a big deal over nothing
or was I okay calling out another
character's backstory?
As someone who has seen the entire first season
of Sword Art Online, no, you're dead on, you're right.
Do not reward the behavior in that show.
It just is like extreme like first improv group
interview.
This has to be my way.
And if it's not my way, it's not good.
Anytime any of these stories have someone just refusing,
it's so funny to me.
Just the idea that like one of your friends would sit down and talk to you and be like
your behavior is upsetting. I refuse to change.
It is a change.
Some people like find their D&D group just online with strangers.
Yeah, it's like it's so interesting.
The dynamics of that can be anything.
But that's I mean, I think you're right to just leave.
Yeah, that's a deep situation.
That person was like really committed to like,
this is my character's backstory
and it fundamentally changes the reality of the story
that we all tell together.
Yeah, it just, there's better animated pull-from.
My friend, if they like thought that and they were wrong,
that would be one thing.
But the fact that they are supposedly right, I guess.
Yeah, and I will say I'm 100% on the side of the player
because I don't have to support a DM.
I am mad at the DM of this session.
Yeah, damn out of it.
Yeah, I did that the DM was like, no, wrong.
This guy isn't a VR world and all of you are NPCs in that is insane.
It's, it's, it takes away all of the collaborative energy
of it to be like, well, this person from the jump
is seemingly more connected to the world
than the actual world than any of you are.
Imagine just if any of the actual play shows that we've done
or that you've listened to, all of it had the conceit that it was all fake if it was like,
one of the characters in critical roles just dreaming the whole day.
Like how much less popular with the show's day?
You know how wild with that?
It's already fake enough.
Like you don't wear another ray or a ray.
You don't have to be the character that's just telling a story.
By the way, this episode is brought to you by free guy
Fabian takes off his VR helmet
Whoa, that was crazy. Maybe I just dreamed of his resistant real neither is going to go I have lots of normal friends
I love them and I guess I'll pop that CD out now
And at the end
Fabian by and for a god a pretty good movie
Name is in a little house
Oh my goodness. What are you doing in the army?
Oh my god.
I'm truly the saddest little time to go to work.
I'm trying to get more forward.
Yeah, the last episode is just me and a construction site.
It's just me and Brendan and the dome.
No one else.
Just a load.
Yeah, I move a few tons of dirt from over here to over there.
Great. I'm talking to my friend Ray
He's busy
I guess well I'll catch him on Friday night. He's going to let the bar. It's fine. Maybe I'll play fantasy
We call and we back. Because what is that DM gonna do anytime that player goes, I take off my helmet.
Like they're gonna be trapped in like.
Well, in the DMs events because we don't,
we didn't read, like they didn't specify.
It's possible that the DM said,
yes, he's allowed to think that.
So it's possible.
However, it is still weird.
It's still weird.
Yes, if it's a, you die, if you die in the game,
you die in real life situation, maybe.
And then that to be so trapped.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Matrix style.
Yeah.
Matrix style.
Matrix rules.
I think it's got to be like reverse tron rules where everyone can escape into the real world.
And then you get to take over the person that created the game.
Like in the movie free guy.
Oh, I haven't seen it
I did see jungle cruise and really like it though. Oh, it was fun. Yeah, it was fun
Did Duane do a good job? Great job
Duane's little time had on
Should I do one more time? We do a couple more. We punish this person? Oh yeah, we gotta be. We have to absolutely punish this person.
Okay, they wanna be living in a video game.
Okay.
I think they have to watch seasons two and three
of Sword Art Online.
It's good, bad.
They're bad.
I believe in.
Finish, you have to finish.
Well, on a VR headset that is trapped to their head,
they do have to take it all.
You have to describe Sword Art Online to the other dudes,
Grandpa.
Yeah, exactly.
Yes.
Or they just have to, like, from now on,
every single thing they watch and enjoy
has a tag of it being it was all that real.
Each one always ends with somebody going,
that was nice.
What an interesting thing.
You all could barely, but I just took off a helmet in my-
After White was just playing a video game.
Perfect end day.
Wow.
Damn.
Yeah, just a flash is game over on this game.
It comes back.
He's got a full head of hair.
He's like, well, I should go teach Kibba Street.
That was just welcome in the middle.
One of the bad internet episodes I wrote for that
college humorous thing ended with a guy
taking off his headset and he was like well that
was pretty cool and then someone else saying what
are you doing? And then they made me change it.
All right. Okay so next one we have from
Bridget A honorable justices and hardworking
bailiff after a recent session I got a
private message from my DM
saying my character has been charmed by the enemy
and I needed to follow their directions,
but not make it obvious to my allies that I was charmed.
I said I would do that, but asked for clarification
as to how I got charmed,
as my character has high wisdom and resistance
to being charmed.
The DM said they had rolled for me
and even with advantage I had failed.
My question to you is this, was this some bullshit?
Should I have insisted I go, I got to roll my own saves.
We are gonna smoke his.
I wanted to give you a real bad DM
that the player's just.
That's an absolute.
This is where I stand up out of my chair
and just start just
Just stimulating hard you you may approach to this you cannot do this you cannot not roll dice for PC's
Hard
It's the game if you take away PC's own this and their ability to make choices
No, why are we been playing D&D?
I get where this DM is coming from and that, they probably have a cool session planned
and they're like, there needs to be a mole in the party.
But you do that by like, not, you have to do it in a legit way somehow.
Yeah.
Like cast it on, cast a spell at the end of one session on everyone have them
roll and send your send their dice and then play like the numbers game like
somebody is going to lose but they're still the smoke and mirrors of it feeling
like everyone has like control you can't just pick a person and be like I want
you to be my mole and so I will you know manipulate the character or whatever and
I feel like even if that doesn't work in one session, I assume that character that
try to do that or someone trying to do that kind of thing is not going to go like completely.
Like, you can probably bring something like that back.
Like they could have their, like, they could be an NPC in that world that's doing totally.
And also, like, I get it when DMs are like on, when you're on your back foot and you don't know what to do.
So you just like railroad something.
I get that.
But this is a situation where they were prepping a session.
They're like, you know what,
instead of prepping a different session,
I'm just gonna screw over my player for it.
Like you could literally be like,
let me call you on the phone and roll it, die.
I wanna see what happens here.
And if they pass, just plan a different session.
Yeah, exactly
And I you know, I've never real wrote it my player, so I don't know anything
None of us have ever I'm not a hundred percent of the kind of DM who's looked at my despondent players and gone
Well, that's what the dice for
I'm this is the only thing I've thought of. So we're doing it.
So good.
I'm sorry.
So I think, yeah, we're all in favor of view.
We're all in favor of the player who had their dice roll
and rolled for them.
We don't like that.
We don't like that.
We don't like it.
One bit.
Hands off.
Hands off the dice.
So what are we going to send this this DM to?
400 years in jail
You just have to go to prison
Yeah, we usually like I can't look at it. No, just life in jail. Yeah, I like it. Yeah, I like it
It's just a nice cold classic punishment. Yeah, we have to do this every once in a while just to keep the people scared.
Exactly.
Yeah, so every once in a while life says it's not a fun one.
You know, you don't get to talk to a grandpa.
No, I have second thoughts about this, but I already said it.
So you can make your own dice out of toilet.
They would exactly have fun.
Woo, that's beautiful.
I would love toilet porcelain dice.
Wow, really?
Please don't send it to the P.O. box.
Please.
Please P.O. box.
Will you plug the P.O. box?
1920 color seven number 222 list of these California
dice. Fresh toilet.
No, go home people get a new toilet, then make dice.
Carve them.
Where is the most specific holes in our toilet?
So what are you doing with this toilet?
You can just install your house enough. it. Oh, oh no, sir
Grace part is the home depot guys way we're doing that situation. You poop in this
You're gonna ask you to work on put this in the bathroom or what? What's up?
What's up? What's up?
What's up?
I'm a tour of my family.
You think about sharing your brother?
You let me know what you want to do.
That would be fun to shipness.
Oh man, you're going to have so much fun.
You don't have to text me, but if you wanted to text me, like when you do it, I just be
awesome.
You know?
There's a city in Dremel there, you know?
All right.
Honorable Baila family.
Okay.
Okay. Let's go ahead and do one more.
Okay, I just really didn't want to interrupt that conversation.
I really, really, really, really, really, really, really,
good, I'm listening to that for a while.
Okay, Christopher L. asks, may I please the court,
the newly appointed justices, and the sultry Bale of?
You're here.
I am DM-ing.
That's for Jake.
Yeah, I can get it, as unfortunately.
I still take it as unfortunately.
I still take the compliments though.
I am DMing a Fast and Furious campaign set in the year 2000.
Oh yeah.
Whoa.
Pre-9-11.
Yeah.
Whoa.
That's the craziest.
I hope they tackle that.
Yeah, I hope they can.
Yeah, I hope they can.
They can tackle that.
Yeah.
How you can jazz or a huge thing in the world.
I'm so sorry.
One of my players wants to play a character who films jackass
like stunts and uploads them to the internet.
I told them no problem,
but they'd have to pay some sort of fee per month
to rent server space access.
That's it.
That's it.
And free video hosting sites are not yet a thing.
They seem to interest and take,
interested in taking the character
in a different direction once I suggested this.
Was I being too harsh?
Where should a DM draw the line
when it comes to integrating flavor
into something with steak?
Wow.
This is wild for me that this person gave up so quickly.
I know, man.
I know, man.
And just being like, you have to give like a silver once a month
to goDaddy.com.
You're being like, fuck it. That's, I can't do this anymore. You can just like a silver once a month to go daddy.com You're being like fuck that's that's I can't say this anymore
You can just like say you have a job. Yeah
Like you don't actually have to go home. I mean like yeah, you guys just say you have rich parents
I feel like that is like the thing and D&D you could just be like by the way
I'm rich and most deams are like
Okay, I
Yeah, sure.
There's other ways around this too.
Like maybe you've got a contact who knows how to use websites.
Like, it knows a little HTML.
Yeah, the glasses.
It's not expensive.
I'm sure this DM, this DM seems very reasonable.
It seems like it was just like a little bit of a...
It seems awesome.
They're doing a fast and furious campaign set me year 2000.
It's, it's shocking because it makes me wonder like does that mean
everyone else has to like have their finances and that specific matter? Well that's my question
right? Because I think me as the players judge goes to a place of like I see a world in
which the DM like gets very serious it is like hey if you want to upload like I mean
Excel she's with that for but I mean it just feels like a thing that would be a simple
It's being like right. Okay, sick. Well that does it. This is what it's gonna look like because YouTube's not a thing
Versus being like well, then your character needs to have managed finances
I think does make you go. Oh, that does a fun. Yeah, you're playing fast and furious
How much money did you spend how much did your tank tops cost? Yeah?
Yeah, that's true. Yeah, you're selling DVD players that you stole from the back of an 18-gillers
So you're only gonna get about 75 it's fast and furious
So if it's the 2001 back in the day they were like street racers
Yeah, it could be like that they are doing that that money is part of it
The first one is that they're stealing. It's like VHS. Oh, so money matters here. So money does matter, that's the point.
Yeah.
I think it's not fun when it's not family yet.
Not family yet.
Not family yet.
To do a like money matters kind of campaign.
Right.
I think you need to consult the modem table,
which will give you 56K or T1, perhaps a T2.
Oh, you're just missing missions uploading stuff.
Yeah. Like guys, I'm'm sorry I can't make it.
Like, I gotta get this video up to the bottom.
I'm sure I hold on, I'm gonna roll a D100
to see what your Mbps is.
What we're like, so Jackass was not online, obviously.
Jackass was on MTV.
Yeah.
What were those, I mean, all the CKY,
those were on tapes.
So it wasn't even internet.
It's like, I've been 2000 was like ebombs world a thing
Yeah, it definitely was yeah, you can post that shit to ebombs world. Yeah
The I Asia video. Oh that video rules. I think I think I think just to pivot your player is really good at
Macromedia flash and upload stuff to new ground to new ground
Yeah new ground at macramedia flash and upload stuff to newgrounds. To newgrounds. Yeah, newgrounds and-
I don't even know what a lot of these words mean.
You're supposed to look.
I wanted to be a newgrounds animator, so bad.
That was an early aspiration.
A dream of all, yeah.
What was the name of that talking squirrel
who was really mean?
And violent.
And violent.
Oh, I know who you're talking.
I have like a really high voice.
I love those videos.
I love that little squirrel.
I mean, I'm a salad fingers man.
Oh, salad fingers was huge.
Salad fingers was huge.
And, uh.
Do you imagine getting to create salad fingers
for this universe?
I think this is the pivot you gotta take.
I'm gonna roll a character who made up home star runner.
Oh my God. Oh my God.
My character runs the drawing right list.
Strong, bad emails during the day.
And steals DVD players at night.
Yeah, what a life.
I am going to side with the player.
Big time.
Personally, because I think, I think even in the way the DM,
in the question is phrased, it sounds like the DM,
I think put a little bit too much pressure
and not enough support on helping the player find a way
in which their idea worked in this world versus
immediately hitting them with the boundaries of what it means.
The what it means that because YouTube doesn't exist,
here's what you have to deal with. think that I think immediately throwing up fences rather than opening doors is always
going to make players sheepish especially if they're new we forgot to narrate this but Lou is now in a seersucker suit that just
I say I say I say I say I say I will say I will go go back to the fact that this player just gave up so fast.
Yeah, I wonder if that's like a wick.
It's interesting.
Yeah, I think when I'm going to side with the DM, although I sympathize with lose, lose
take here.
I think that's a good take.
I think depending on how they brought it up, it could be, it could be not great. But I think one of my pet peeves is just players
who really, really care about loot.
Like it happens all of the time in,
not with like anybody that we play with or anything,
but a lot of times you'll see like.
I mean, Sia is always like stealing from dead bodies.
Do you edit it out?
I checked the pockets of everyone.
You do check, you check all the dead bodies.
You edit on me laughing every time you do that.
I love living corpses.
That's all of our characters.
No, but we do get a lot of comments a lot of times and it has not happened as much
now that we've been doing the show for a while.
People see that we're playing a narrative show.
But when we were first posting the show, there was a lot of people being like, that thing
that that bad guy have had,
why didn't they go and take his pants?
And it's like, what do you care?
What do you care?
Why would you take galads armor?
Who cares?
I have to admit that when I was finally on the podcast,
had that moment and was like,
you should loot the archmage.
I've been able to scroll.
Wait, Murf, do you edit out Zirk tea bagging everyone?
Yes, yes.
Wow, for your own sake.
Damn, I want the Murphy cut.
I want it all, all right?
Yeah, I'm gonna say, yeah, anytime somebody's like really like,
oh, this is gonna cost me a silver f**k, I'm out.
I'm always a little makes me roll my ass.
I've been with Lut.
With Lut stuff, I never even think to go for that
because everything's always like,
I'm often playing squishy spellcasters
that I can't fucking use anything.
Like, I can't wield that, I can't wear that.
So I'm always just like, whatever.
Right.
Yeah.
There's so many compromises.
Yeah, like give them a spell,
like make, they can upload a video
but it takes a spell slot or something. I don't know. Oh, that's so many compromises. Yeah, like give them a spell, like make, they can upload a video, but it takes a spell slot or something.
I don't know.
Oh, that's fun.
I get to though, but the DM is trying to plan this.
That's really what the magic looks like in this mask.
Yeah.
Oh, that's gonna be not.
It's not.
Yeah, the DM's trying to put this in the early 2000s.
And so he's trying to put up restrictions on the stuff.
Internet videos because having too many internet videos and going viral
is going to make it feel like the present day.
You know what's going to happen is this DM though, if they're too committed to specifically
2000, they might find themselves tripping over their own limitations.
Wow.
What class do you think Dominic Torreto is?
Oh, yeah, he loves, he does love fair.
I think he dipped into barbarian though.
Oh, yeah, of course.
Whichever the one is where he like literally fights with swords in that one.
He has the big wrench.
Yeah, exactly.
Errol's wild.
All right, so I think Caldwell and Lou sided with the player.
Yeah.
I sided with the DM.
What are you guys sided with?
Emily and Zach.
Oh, right, I'm in bail of mode.
Um, fuck me.
I think I have to side with the player.
Okay, I wish, I think that the DM should be able
to have that conversation further there and be like,
I'm not trying to discourage you.
Yeah, I think I side with the player,
but I do agree that like, I'm like,
wondering how this initial conversation went.
They keep up so fast. I worry though that the player like crumpled because they didn't want to
like hurt the DMs feelings or like break the DMs world. That's true. That's true.
That's funny. I feel like I've painted this picture of an innocent small child.
But it's like, can I be a jack guy? The thing of the deal was like, fuck you.
I do wonder if Murphy's right and they were just like, Hey, can I do this?
And they were like, well, I think it would be,
there would be, there would be stuff to it.
And they were like, no.
I think I'm just, I'm just going off our history
of getting all of these messages that are like,
Hey, so on my birthday, I spent 16 hours
planning a session to have my friends over.
And my best friend joins the bad guy and told me to fuck myself.
And then took all the pizza and left because I rude.
I want to play a character named Piss Cronius and I want to upload funny ass videos every
day.
And he said, could your name not be Piss?
No, you know what?
I think I'm just going to come up with a new character.
Oh my god, I'm sorry.
I guess I'll never play this game.
You can be pissed.
Actually, I'm gonna start like a break off session
with everyone else.
What?
You be pissed.
Come back.
You can be pissed.
Good.
All right.
You know what, guys?
Edit that out of the swim plate next campaign.
It is pranious.
Thank you all so much for listening.
We're gonna go ahead and wrap this one up.
Court is gonna take a brief recess,
but we're gonna be back.
We're gonna be doing some more cases
over on our short rest, patreon.com slash nadpod.
That's NADDDPOD.
Don't see it.
Lewin's back, you guys got things to plug.
Let's start with Lew.
Oh, you got it.
You can check me out on Instagram at sweetloosigno.
That's sweetlo and H.O.
Uh, and uh, feel free to watch Jimmy Kimmel live.
Yeah.
That's my favorite Jimmy.
You need the best Jimmy guys.
Check out the show I occasionally I'm on it.
Uh, but mostly I write for it.
That's very cool.
Sweet um, Zach.
We got oh gosh.
I, I, I, I, you know, check out rotating heroes
pod on Patreon as well.
And, um, that's, uh, I check out Jimmy Kimmelon.
I get a chance.
I'll take, I want to take back my Jimmy Kimmelon plug.
I'm gonna add some cast to this and say check out Jimmy Fallon.
Wow.
Okay.
All right.
Well, things just got spicy.
Yeah, let's go on the recess. I can beat up
Call though you got anything to plug or anything I already plug Jimmy fell in a stand by all right
I'm gonna plug Jimmy Stewart's my dad really liked
Okay, I'll throw it in all the Jimmy
Fire emblem three Jimmy's Let's do it.
Let's go.
Sweet guys, thank you all so much for listening.
Follow us on social media that we may or may not use.
At CHMIRFUSME, at Caldwell, at the Extras Emily,
at Sweet Luzinio.
It's on Instagram.
And at Zachoyama is Zachoyama.
I'm, yeah, I'm all social media that,
and I probably won't be using it for a long time
That's why we say we may or may not you know, you know you got a squat on that account in case one day you do need Different things. Yeah, it's I'm just I'm a squatter. I'm a
Book and then I'll be happy that I have
Anyway, you can tweet about the show using hashtag nad pod that's any ddp. Oh, do you?
We are we are the youth of a nation!
We are we are the youth of a nation!
It's the end of the show everybody and that means I need to shout out our benevolent
council of elder starting with Brad D. Jeffreyes, Halder Frostback, Steelbreaker,
and Matt M. Investigators at SCVU-AKA, the Special Crit Victims Unit. They all have expertise on
investigation checks and get in to determine whether a dice roll was fudged with 100% accuracy.
Jordan DJ, Cutter W, Jive G, Dillon B, and Super The Mushroom, other cursed Warforged
adventurers who decided to remain human.
They initially weren't going to, but then they all tasted a monster energy assault and
realized they could never go back.
Danielle the Dastardly Dame, Andrew M, Beardman Dan, Scott D and Danny P, Notary Public,
who witnessed dice rolls and confirmed the results so that there can be no confusion.
To get this job, each notary had to accurately record 300 deaths saves.
Now that's dedication.
Mixologist Michael McDee, Vincent W, Boundorse Boy, Andrew B and Kevin S, DMs who took
their players to dinner, not to talk about the game or their characters or anything, but
because they're all of Garden gift cards were about to expire.
Still a very nice gesture.
Just an eye, Ragnarfe, Fear dwind.
TGM the Noem Barbarian, Alaina M and Traile the Kray Faye,
Souls trapped inside and even more ambitious D&D player
who rolls a D20 every session to determine their character.
It's been years since TGM the Noem Barbarian got to play.
Jerady Austin-Bonesa M.R., Damilar,
cyborg version of Josh LeCobalt,
Engage M, a fast
and furious tabletop crew who took their roleplay a step further and played the entire game
in cars.
It might sound dangerous, but you truly haven't lived until you've rolled a nat 20 while
shrieking down the highway at 100 miles an hour.
Please don't do that.
Richard X Machina, Michael L, Trast the Traveler, and Sir Carl, players hoping to have their
case defended by the players' judge. Each of them flipped out during their last session
and ended up taking shits in their DMs, cars, good luck, Lou.
Jorias, Daneji, Kalamel, and Jack L, players in a virtual reality game called Supreme
Crit Online, each of them takes on the role of a Supreme Crit, Justice, and Tries, cases
in a virtual world full of mischievous
D&D players Jack Ellis currently a level 99 called Waltanner.
flawless whale Sam L, Nicholas C and Samuel B, producers of the deck of many things they
can't leave their home without being chased down by an aggrima of the people whose D&D
campaigns they've complicated.
Mike H, Udishmulick, the baby bronze dragon, Matthew E, Colton B and Adam G, Trent's new D&D
campaign.
They actually all wanted to join the bad guy in the first session, so now they're just
a fully evil campaign, and honestly, Trent is feeling outdone.
Megadass, Nibbadger, Panama James, Cummins the Bard, and Adrian the Halfling Bard, Urlox
and the Fast and Furious campaign who have all pledged themselves to the god of family except Cummins the Bard who plunge themselves to sick drifts.
Captain sigil, Grace G, Drew Nasty, C.C. Lulu and Barnes and Adir, political junkies who are absolutely terrified of the wavering support of the people's justice Wilson, but are absolutely buzzing at the newly people leaning justice oyama.
Michelle O, Timmy R, Jonathan W, the crock wearing warrior, Lucas B, Aron S.
Grandparents hoping to receive the highest honor of all, getting turned into a level 2
rogue, who inevitably gets the whole party into trouble by stealing something from someone
they shouldn't.
It's Kevin, hard ones, horse, shmeet, New York, Steven C and KJ, journalists who work the
Supreme Crit beat and have been actively
discouraged from using clerics to scry what the results are going to be before they happen.
And yet their articles keep getting submitted before the verdict is ruled.
Just do the work folks.
Mike K. Karen J. Ekathore 666 and Nick W. The Makers of Healing Turd.
A spell that makes it look like you're trying to heal the annoying member of your D&D party,
but every time you cast it, it conveniently gets counter-spelt by a clairvoyant wizard
from another dimension.
Sorry Trent, I'm trying my best, but it just won't work.
Taylor A, Matthew R, Esme Am, Kazemir the All-Knowing, Big Bad Beard of the Mad, a group of
players doing the opposite of Michael K's player.
Instead of one person trying to play six different level 15 characters, all five are sharing a level one character,
crazy I know, but five minds means they absolutely know what their Twilight domain
Claire can do and operate at max efficiency as may M never forgets their eyes of the night
feature and Taylor A seems to always show up with a clutch vigilant blessing.
Eric McD, giant monsters on the horizon, Thrath, Burleigh T, J. Dragonborn, and Joe Rodean
Appropro, the guild of grandpa's, an adventuring party made up entirely of characters named
after people's grandpa's.
It's confusing, it's distracting, but the court has decided to allow it, so we unfortunately
can't stop them.
Liam D. the Sanjayan, Ben A. Feldonis, and Dave H. A party of five playing 30 characters.
Each player has six characters living inside them and has to roll a D6 every time they
roll a save, making an attack, do a check, or eat a snack IRL.
Their DM has been forced into early retirement.
Koala Bear, Catherine S, David Kay, Christian S, and Dustin S, followers of Trent.
These brave souls also brutally injured themselves to join the BBEG, then were turned down
and left to die just like their brilliant hero, Trent.
Keith Kay, Connor F, the Timewalker, two left eyes and Big Bad John, members of the Benevenal
and Council who are living in a sort art simulation where they are the only true council members
while everyone
else is just an NPC.
DPC is awesome, Aston S, Blair the Bug, Blair Barbar Blarion, Pork Chop and Chanel M, self-defense
masters who teach a course on how to keep controlling DMs away from your dice, it's all about
risk control.
Vlai C. Raptor, Manette F, Pat L, A Chuta A, Lauren H, and David M, members of a fast 5 adventuring
party so not only can they upload videos for free, but they've got FUMLY.
Elias Hawthorne, Alex H, the eldest berry, Evan V, Ryan S, and the bone duster, the
BBEG's Board of Public Relations, they wisely decided it was best to let Trent die in the
forest instead of letting him become a minion and salient the brand.
Robert C.R.S.P.
Ejrasil, Brent Lee C. Micah B. and Jim Bob X plays, a bunch of grandpa's that in a twist
of expectations have decided to take the names of their grandson's girlfriends.
Ploups, Carlyanne, Laurie P. Spam Gaming, the not-so-skilled gamer, and Connor Savage, the honored few who
have been on an email thread with Zachoyama at Hotmail.com.
Christopher J. Pebblepot, Logan S, Leviathan, Dimae A, Bioquart 7, and Remington CD, Baylor
Jake's buddies, always there for him to race his spirits after a trying day of being referred
to as lowly.
Embroidered extras, Thrill of the the fright, Sullivan H, Everett P,
Trub Hop-dropper and Sidney T,
jurors who sit on the Supreme Crit,
of course all cases are decided by the justices,
but these folks do an awesome job
of nodding along approvingly.
Alex C, the element god,
Lindsey W, champ wild, valon and Sprite Pepsi,
run the food trucks outside the crit house,
are always good for
having Justice Murphy's lunch order on deck 9 monster energy drinks.
Carl and C, Anthony S, Tristan C, the Lucid of 2Scoos, Jake, CCA, and Matthew J, Robemakers
who designed and manufactured robes for the Supreme Crit justices, the very elegant
nornate, and Jake keeps asking for one but CC won't let it happen. Scripps-cripper, Michael S. The Bone Duster, Noah, Wyatt B, Estelle and Ghost,
Crit Room artists who also sell their work on the side recently made seven figures on a portrait of Blastin Grammau.
Rogue Cree, Baroness Soestian's romance partner from the Baronies, Mr. Dude Sky, conflicted DM,
Justin L.B. and Dandy, law professors who teach their students cases from the Supreme
C.R.T. the Vigo Mortensen precedent has broken the spirit of many aspiring lawyers.
Jennifer R. Clifton A. Richard G. M. Barber,
Marcos P. and Pupp K. Lash,
Justice Tanner's neighbors who are penning a complaint because his dog goes ape shit every time he bangs the damn gavill.
Learns the balance druid, Dakota JP, Pago self-proclaimed, Faye Prince, Tracy P, the
Crick-elf Librarian, and a very big bed 91.
Baylif's in different crit rooms who are actually revered and spoken of with reverence.
Jake should work in those rooms, but he's a masochist and loves the D'Rision.
Holly, Anthony A, Leah C. Timothy H. and egg.
Crit room gestures.
They're a little out of place because the supreme crit
is a place of law, but egg is just so damn silly
that justice is allowed.
Thank you all so much for listening.
That's it for this week.
Thank you to all of our listeners,
all of our Patreon subscribers,
and of course our benevolent council of elders.
You can head on over to our Patreon
to listen to bonus cases.
We'll be back next week with an episode in a short rest.
See you all next time.