Not Another D&D Podcast - Eldermourne - Ep. 32: People on the Inside

Episode Date: August 27, 2021

The Third Mates are split after Fia's daring save! Hank upgrades Spoony, Fia joins a mission to help an old friend, and Zirk does his best to not be murdered by his new commander. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music / Sound Effects Include:"Drum Cadences" by Kiddpark at Freesound.org."Forest Fire Inferno" by Dynamicell at Freesound.org. "Anvil" by MrAuralization at Freesound.org."A Wizard's Tournament" by Emily Axford."Zelbuldar 3" by Emily Axford."Irina" by Emily Axford."Bonkginya, Fia Bonkginya" by Emily Axford. "Honey Trap" by Emily Axford. "Goblin Dirigible" by Emily Axford. "Harenford" by Emily Axford."A Risky Gamble" by Emily Axford. "The Blacksmith's Hut" by Emily Axford. "Hospitable" by Emily Axford. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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brush processing. Code www-A-W-P-A-W. Goodbye, Sweeties. Welcome to the campaign after the campaign, after the campaign, this is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Elder Morn, everybody. Oh, Lord. Oh, Lord. Oh, Lord., I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy joined by Jake Hurwitz. Once above Foon, now a Dragoon.

Henry Hawkes. We shall see, we shall see. Very good. Mirly a Rick Stilagoon though, still a good. Oh shit, I jinxed it. Yeah, Dragoon emphasis on the goon. Not a goon, not yet a drag-goon. Beautiful. Ooh, aspirational.

Then of course, Emily Axford. Wondering what's in store after her dimension door, fia bulginia. What is in store? Yeah, so wondering. Instant death. You teleported into a wall, night crawler style, you're dead. What happened?

I didn't even know that was a possible. Well, he's always afraid of that. That doesn't happen. That would be really at the time of the day. Where's the D100 every time you use the spell? Eightier below you die. What? This is absolutely home brewed,

and I should have been warned of this. You've been lucky. And then of course, Cogultanner. You surping enemies and working with synergy as I slurp monster energy, it's Zerk Verve for vein yee ha Getting that monster. Oh Operatic yee ha and clashing of genres. That was yeah the Yahoo

Yahoo That was the Yahoo Yahoo, that's that's how they used to say Yahoo in the night was their jingle. How come on website has a tagline for when they would do Super Bowl commercials. Yeah, they would do commercials and they'd be like search things with Yahoo. Okay. Yeah, I'm so glad you caught that, Murph. So the search engine of eldermore is Yeehaw is what you're saying. Yeah, Yeehaw. I got time. That's yeah, one Zork makes makes the Alcaro Lixer. He's going to focus on creating the world's first search engine. All right, guys. Let's go ahead and do a little recap.

So last time you guys began with Fia attempting to contact Arena, the sending spell fizzled because of a specialized arcane block around the city, but it seemed to imply that Arena was somewhere nearby. The third mate set out to explore the city and decided to join the Therong of People heading to the Coliseum. There, you witnessed a scary combination of Nationalistic Fervor with new metal energy as the Lord sighed, whipped the crowd into a frenzy, a terrible terrible concoction, new metal and Nationalism. You know butter and battery acid, you know?

Yeah, there you go. Ooh, yummy! Six sandwich, dude. Slap it on a slice. I do love peanut butter. You'll die. Combines were chosen randomly from the crowd and hanged through the short straw,

leading Fiya and Zirk to change their cards to support him. The three of you, along with a throng of undead, faced the great scale worm, eventually defeating it and sending it back to its burrow. After the battle, the Lord sighed, honored you, by letting a few of the combatants join his dragoons as recruits. Um, you were among the chosen few, along with Isaac the sick ass bloodhunter. After being lined up, you were set to witness an execution, and undead, ogre named Glorg, was dragged out and sentenced to death for feeding information to the awakened, but before he could be killed, Fia grabbed him and

dimensioned Dord out of the Colosseum. The place, absolutely fuck my plans, the place erupted into chaos as the emperor called for her head. Oh my god. Oh yeah, they're all absolutely all after you. 100%. Yeah, this is. Yeah, you've on my head because I'm so smart. Yeah, this is all my brains.

All the stars in GTA. You've got helicopters after you. You've got to get a new coat of paint. Henry and Zirk cleverly feigned ignorance and pretended to be just as furious as everyone else. And that's where we are now. Who was that jerk? Yeah.

We must arrest her. She's clearly so smart. She's a danger to our nation. Hank Kicks dirt, Zirk angrily waves his fist. Judge this bitch is still echoing through the Colosseum. We're going to start with Fia. So Fia, you've just mentioned, Dord. You appear with Gorg, the ogre.

You remember his name was Gorg from when they were announcing the execution. You guys appear just outside of the Colosseum. You are a little bit ahead of your pursuers. But just in case you end up really unlucky Go ahead and roll a luck check to see if you happen to encounter anyone right as you appear Okay, first up I show up and I say hello. My name is via bogeyne. I'm a witch one time the Reaper tried to judge me I was trying to save you from the same fate. Is this okay? You see, Gorg just waves his hands around and goes like, oh, yeah, yes, of course, thank you.

Okay. When we gotta get out of here, we gotta get somewhere safe. Follow me. I rolled an 18 on my luck check. 18 on your luck check. The coast is clear. The streets are mostly empty here. You appear on the side of the Colosseum,

not facing the entrance. This was kind of mandatory attendance or borderline mandatory. So almost everyone in the city was there. So you are lucky enough to be kind of ahead of the charge right now. So, Glorke kind of grabs your hand and goes, I can get us somewhere safe.

Okay, if you do this, then I can, I'm going to cast invisibility at a third level So that I can target both of us. Great. Um before we go though my friends. They're back in the Coliseum I couldn't get myself out. Can you can you do exactly what you just did except go in and grab two more people and come all the way back out and Without anyone grabbing you or getting them. I think I have misled you as to how powerful I am. I certainly cannot do this. Maybe I should whisper to Philip. Philip is knocked out.

I clutch the limp of wet pages of my new friend. Okay. Okay, but I need to get a message to them somehow. We'll have to figure that out in a minute. Okay. We have to run. I'm gonna get it, lady. but I need to get a message to them somehow. We'll have to figure that out in a minute Okay, we have to run I'm gonna get it lady when I find you Through our fingers. Yeah, I will say fiat you don't hear that right now But you heard that as like you were disappearing like okay, you know that like you guys were in disguise Fias smiles weekly and says, they are a good actor.

Right? Acting? I don't. This is acting. I have truly, lady, I have no idea what's going on. We need to go, okay? Okay, let's go. I'm sorry.

I assumed you had a planned. You grabbed me, but thank you. Thank you for grabbing me. You got the cherry impulsive, very. Trust your impulses, if that's what your impulses are. Follow me. Glorg grabs your hand. You guys both turn invisible, and he begins taking you

through the winding streets here. Go ahead and give me an encounter check one more as he takes you to the sort of hideout he has planned. OK, well, any encounter we are invisible. You hear Glorick goes, that'll be helpful for most of the Emperor soldiers, except for the Peacars. The Peacars can see through invisibility.

The Peacars? Yes, you don't know Peacars, they're terrifying. I found them. Peacars. Peacars. Roode. Roode? Very rude. Oh, like a peeper? No, it's a peaker. Peekers. Peekers. Rude. Okay. Rude.

Very rude. Oh, like a peeper? No, it's a peaker. Okay. This is different. Different things. Oh, I got a 3A. Good Lord. Oh.

Fiya, as soon as you dimensioned or you heard chaos coming from the Colosseum, you also saw like lights going up and war horns going off. And as you run through the streets here, invisible, you see a wiver night flying overhead, like just happened to be patrolling in this area of the city and go ahead and give me a perception check. 16.

16, okay. Not only do you see this one armored like white on the back of this wiper, you also see this little gray gremlin looking dude with huge yellow eyes that take up most of its face, looking out and scanning the streets below, Fia go ahead and give me a stealth check. What's up for the peeker. He's peeking.

If I fail my stealth check, can we at least enter an issue, and hopefully I can stop him? Yes, certainly. That is a nap one on my stealth check. Okay, good Lord. Good Lord. There's too many papers flying in front of Merceface right now.

I don't like it at all. I like it. Go ahead and roll initiatives. Okay. Ooh, I need this to be good. Come on, I have a plus five, so let's see. Come ahead and roll initiatives. Okay. I need this to be good. Come on. I have a plus five So let's see. Come on now 21 nice. There we go. Okay, Fiya. This peeker sees you

Tells the wiver night the wiver night like goes to blow a war horn and do like a dive Towards you, but you act first at initiative 21 Okay, here's what I would like to do. I would like to use my movement to try to run up a building, then misty steps so I can get within range to cast momentary stasis on this night without blowing the horn. That is so fucking sick. So momentary stasis is a skill, not a spell, so you can do both. So, oh my god. Yeah, Fiya, you and this peer make eye contact with each other. This dude

goes up to do the horn. You rush up. I also, I also before I do, I go to the ogre and I say, I'm going to go really high and fall really hard. Please catch me. That's about all I can do. Fiya, you go, you, you misty step, you kick off the wall, you turn and face the wiver night, who is in the process of diving down to grab you in the street. It makes a what saving throw? Constitution saving throw. That is a natural four for him. Freezes in place, the beast looks confused.

And you see, as it's going to dive, it suddenly pulls up and starts like hovering and kind of not sure what to do. And you see the peeker on the back, this little gray, gremlin thing with yellow eyes, it's just like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, and just pointing at you and yelling.

But Fiya, you, managed to do this, you jump. Go ahead and give me an athletics check to land in Gorg's arms Gorg is going to do an athletics check to try to catch you Campley Henry's not seeing this Okay, that is a 14 14 Gorg gets a 19 so you see you go do this kickoff I'm speeding down like a corkscrew

or like one of those little seedlings. Oh hell yeah. Yeah. You do a sick corkscrew and Glorke catches you perfectly. And then on his turn takes a dash action and runs away. And you already feel yourself start to lose them. Because the wyvernite couldn't even see you was going off of the directions

of this other dude. So they lose a full turn, you guys get ahead 60 feet as you like rush through an alleyway, you see a gorg takes you to this place, it looks like a tavern, it's got like this old swinging sign that's too like dusty and fucked up. I'll even say you know what the sign is off the hinges There's just like To like metal chains there that are rusted over that look like they at one time maybe held like a lantern sign You see this place it looks run down an old boarded up doesn't even look open You see glor rams his shoulder through the door and busts it open

Pulse you in then closes the door behind you. You see you're in an old tavern, there's a dusty bar with casks behind it, stools and tables stacked in the corners like it's been closed for a long time. You see, Glorg pulls out a couple of stools and crashes back into one, kind of catches his breath. Arvisae fieriglorg. crashes back into one kind of catches his breath. Are we safe here, Clark? No one's been here for a long time. This should give us a little bit of time before we can get somewhere safer. But first off, who are you?

Why did you save me? Thank you, but why? Yes, I'm Fia Boginia. I'm a witch. And, well, I wasn't dispatched to save you. I made an impulsive decision because I, I, I, I once was treated unfairly by the Reaper and I saw I didn't see fear in your eyes, but I, I still couldn't help but see myself in your position.

You are much braver about it than I was. I've whimpered like a little girl. I was a little girl. I don't think anyone could question your bravery, Fiboginia. I'm glad it's a pleasure to meet you. It's a pleasure to meet you as well. I do a polite cursey. Oh actually I reach my hand out for a kiss. He gives you a little kiss on the hand and he goes, but let me ask you, did you experience Malice on the part of the Reaper or of the Reaper's followers? The Reaper's followers indeed.

I would say it was fully followers driven. I think that is the problem. Glorick, I'm sorry, but I'm so worried about my friends. Okay, I know that they can only keep up this act, which it was an act, of course, when they were saying all those mean things about me. They can only keep it up for so long. I'm worried about them. Well, there's not much we can do right now at the moment. The whole city is on high alert. Do you trust them? Are they capable? Incredibly so.

Girl, I'm just so pieved as all. You'll never get away with this fee feeble trader. with this fee fee feeble trader. Ha ha. You see, Gorg kind of looks at you quizzically and goes, your accent, I've heard it before. Do you know a sorceress with the same dialect? I can think of one. She's actually the reason that I came here.

I am looking for her. Why do you know this? You know Rina. Wait a second. You know Rina. You know Rina. You know Rina. You know Rina.

Yes, I know Rina. You know Rina. I've known Rina for like a year now. Wow. Fiya rings her hands with a little bit of jealousy. Oh, that's nice. Okay, well, she's actually five. We came here.

We've been looking for her. I'm kind of like her guard. Oh, well, we're happy to have you. I'm part of a group of embedded awakened here in the capital. Our Senate was disbanded a couple years ago, and the disciples have taken complete control. Oh, Tab will be very disappointed she voted in that election. Tab, you know Tabitha, who traveled to the mortal. Yes, she came with us, she was trying to lead us to the safe area, but then we got pulled down here.

Right, yes, the outer rim. Well, listen, your friend Arena is helping us with our mission. Really? We are going to expose the truth and show the people that the Emperor is a fraud. I just have to ask, why is Arena here? Did she come for this purpose? Or I haven't seen her in so long and I know so little about what has transpired in her life. And I just am wondering. Fia, go ahead and give me an insight check.

17. You see he looks a little hesitant as if maybe he had some personal conversations with her or something and feels a little weird like divulging all of it. Okay, I read his expression like a book and I think I'm trying to be polite because I haven't seen the Rina in so long and I don't want to come across as some kind of busy body.

I'm not 100% sure what brought her here in the first place, but she spent some time on the outer rim and eventually came to here, the capital of Endotera, and took up our cause. Okay, well, any cause she is pledged to, I am as well. That is what a guard must do. Well, we could use all the help we can get, because I was nabbed about 10 days ago, and I don't even know how many of us there are left. But before I was caught, we had a mission. Below Endocassel are the ruins of Zelbaldars' castle district.

The Lord's sithe hides it behind massive vault doors and hordes the ancient relics and knowledge to himself. It said that the deep folk knew the nature of the gods themselves might even know the secret as to why we awakened, why we stopped being horrors. We're not sure exactly what's in there, but we are sure that if we can get to it, we can prove that Lord Scythe was not divinely chosen. We can expose him as a fraud, show the people the truth, and inspire a revolution. Now your friend, Arena, is an extremely powerful sorceress. Yes. Her magic cannot be detected by even things like the Peacars. They can't see through her disguises. So she's been able to get inside and ingratiate herself

with the arc-mage of Endo Castle. We've also got a team of rogues out here who are supposed to sneak beyond the castle walls and work with tandem with a team of bruisers who will ingratiate themselves with the dragons. Once the teams are in position, we'll take out the security system and head into the vault. I think Fiya takes a minute to kind of like, she's hearing this mission, but for a second she almost wonders if the Zelbladar knowing the nature of the gods if Irina is looking for her mother in some way. As you think that you think you could really be on to

something. She had this like natural power when you knew her as a girl and apparently she has grown in power to the point that she was able to get to endotera without the telefork. So she, unless somebody else got it to her, you don't totally know, but you can imagine she could have some idea of where her power is coming from or something and might be looking for answers. So it occurs to you in this moment

that while arena likely does believe in these people's causes, she might also be doing it for her own purposes. Okay, I fully keep this to myself. It was just a little curiosity for Fiat, a sort of work around in her little head. After a moment, Glorke gets up and goes, I should tell the others that I've been freed. I should tell them about you. And you've got friends now on the inside. Yes, I do at least last I saw.

And friends is kind of assuming that they're acting and not just saying, but they've been thinking all along. I deeply insecure. I just made friends. As far as I'm concerned, you have a friend for life with me because that was good see as hell. We could have been torn apart by those waverns. Do you know, Glorke? I think I owed it to the world because what I did for you, one time someone did for me. And maybe now the scales are a bit more balanced. Endotero would be a much better place if there were more people like you feel Bukinia. You see he walks over, he finds like a panel in the stone tile floor here and lifts one

up, revealing like a little cubby, and inside it, he pulls out this stone and explains to you that this is a sending stone, and that while a normal sending stone won't work, some imbued items Normal sending stone won't work. Some imbued items are designed to get around it. These are sending stones, they come in pairs. It's like a can in string, together around the fact that there's no Wi-Fi. Exactly. Don't know any of those words, but yes. Wi-Fi issues which is worked.

Right. The sister stone to the one in my hands is in the hands of someone embedded with the dragoons. She was supposed to meet with Isaac's team, but perhaps she could bring your friends into the fold as well. Okay, okay. Can I send her a message? Please do. You see, he hands you the sending stone. And with that, we are going to cut over to Zirkenhank. We are actually going to backtrack a little bit and find out what happened immediately after everything went to shit. So you guys are in the arena immediately after Fiya has taken off.

Place has erupted into the arena. Oh, no way. Oh, I got her! Grab her! What the heck? Seize the drydars! Oh, ruptured to the wall. Oh, I got her! Grab her! What the heck? She's the dry nurse! Why would she leave us? We're mad about this.

The Lord's Scythe is screaming for someone to find her, but you see he is quickly ushered out by his guards. You see a bunch of dragon's hop into action, jumping on skeletal horses and nightmares, riding out of the arena. You see overhead, several of these wiveren nights fly by, these mounted nights on these like dragon like creatures, but the dragon captain who is the one reading the charges to Glorg turns to all of the recruits, like swings his lance out, like for you guys to get back in line,

and he goes, all right, just because we've got a fugitive doesn't mean we can't be orderly recruits, report to the barracks, Sergeant Grimton, lead them there. Oh, wait. Sergeant Grimton? You see, as the captain jumps off onto this wyvern,

you are approached by Dragoon Sergeant Grimdung, a wide-framed, mostly decayed white with glowing blue eyes. As you yell that, sir, he appears right in your face and he goes, yes, is there something funny about my name? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, White of hand to cover my mouth. Sure. Yeah, you can do a side of hand instead of deception if you want. Shout out to the two crew, but I get a plus 12, the slide of hand. So that's a 14.

14, OK. Yeah, baby. Shout out to the two crew on his inside check. All right, nobody's in the right mind. Lazily, as you're on your knees, he kind of lazily kicks you over and goes, you're not enlisted yet. Get up.

Right away, sir. In line. Ugh. Just kind of grunts and points for you to join the other recruits. You guys see an iron gate opens up down here in the sand pit, leading you beneath the Colosseum. It stretches far and curves up, suggesting to you that you are going behind the castle walls,

and out of the sort of residential section of the city. And amongst the people being hustled through the tunnel with you is Isaac the Bloodhunter. I will say with the same insight check that you guys used last time to see that he was upset that the ogre was about to be killed, looks a little amused by all of this, but is like keeping it to himself. But he's kind of separating himself, not joining in like the camaraderie of the other recruits or kind of like pumped at the chance to join the drag groups.

Can I raise my eyebrows at him? Not as in like awesome, but more like whoa, you know? Like not like, basically showing I'm not entirely pissed. A little bit. Okay, surprised. Go ahead and give me a theory. Anybody could see that and be like, wow, that guy is just, yeah.

He's just impressed by the chaos of it all. I will say he will do an insight check and you can do a persuasion check with advantage to see how much you're able to convey with your expressive eyebrows. Alright, great. Henry does have notoriously bushy eyebrows. I believe I said. Canonically. Oh, alright. Persu- oh, I don't have notoriously bushy eyebrows. Okay. I believe I said canonically. Oh all right

Persuade. Oh, I don't have anything for persuasion. Well, I should know Eugene Levy's at him. Um, it's only an 11 and 11 Okay, my little caterpillars. He rolled a natural 18 and he's got okay wisdom. Um, so you see that He avoids eye contact with you at first looks back sees that you'reids eye contact with you at first. Looks back, sees that you're making eye contact with him and he's going to make a persuasion check with his eyes. But you see that he's just got like blood red eyes that don't show much emotion. Doing a bad job conveying whatever he's trying to say. And you can't quite tell if it's him being like

Yeah, crazy or if it's him being like I'm on your side. It's just like he's just like giving you like a sup nod Okay, cool. Yeah, I smiles back at that You guys emerge and find yourself on the other side of the castle walls the blue lava river find yourself on the other side of the castle walls. The blue lava river flows from a waterfall that bisects the castle walls, then winds around the area before turning into a moat that guards and do castles, which is this menacing dark structure that sticks out of the edge of the mountain and hangs precariously as if one of its towers could collapse at any moment. There is this aura of panic, but everyone is very orderly. You see, some squads of dragons are let out through the castle gates, presumably to patrol the city.

There are wiver and roosts with a couple more of these wivered riders. They set off to patrol and presumably to fight fear. It's like concerning. You even see you clock Isaac like looking at the wiverns and kind of giving you like a I shake my head in like a way like that's just too much. But also cool. He gives you a nod like wow these guys are scary but also in a way of like kind of cool that they're scary right. Right. I shrug and smile, just a sheepish grin. Zerk tries to communicate alongside them,

but Zerk's face has been altered into a skull, so he just rattles his jaw. He's like, you see Isaac keeps looking between you two, looking baffled. So you guys are ushered over to the barracks, which sits in the middle of the camp. It's a pointed structure kind of shaped like an L,

made up of a few small buildings. There's a training yard out front with a sand pit and dummies, as well as like an area for jousting. It's pretty big. They clearly do a lot of sparring here. In fact, even though there is this like city wide alert, they're not so unorganized that like everyone's just going

and rushing, you see that there are new recruits like out here training You see flags with scales on them dot the whole area and you see Grimdung Just very mumbly and almost to himself Looks at you guys as you approach the barracks and Grimdung goes First calling is tonight. Empire won't waste time training weaklings. You'll prove yourself in one-on-one combat

against the other recruits. Just looks at you guys and Dodds. Good. Points to the other two guys that aren't you two in Isaac and goes. You bunch, go to the other two guys that aren't you two in Isaac and goes. You bunch, go to the training yard. E3. I'm poised to you guys.

You're a mess. Need new weapons. Armor. No shorts. Poised to you Henry. Oh come on. What was that? Did you say?

Nothing sir Damn right nothing sir Follow me. I grab Hank on the shoulder They're gonna take away my shorts. I'm making new shorts better shorts. Grim Dong takes you guys and Isaac over to a nearby Smithy Small building with a thatched roof, smoke coming out of a chimney, outside, there's a woman pounding away on a piece of metal, on an anvil, Emily, would you like to describe your character? Yes, yes. I would! Okay, so you all say, brimstone Billy. She,

Brimstone Billy. She, yeah, Endo Taras, best and cute is Little Blacksmith. Oh. I'm swinging a huge hammer on an anvil. My hair is crimping and frizzin' in the heat of the forge. Smoke and soot is stainin' my flesh, my, like, undead zombie flesh. Kind of like Tideye. Very funky. Instead of a Smithies apron, I'm wearing a black shiny little dress that looks like a ballerinas tutu. And when I smile, you see I've got one metal tooth and down at my side, I have my faithful little bug,

my steel defender shaped like a spider named Inga. Inga! Scotland about. Inga is working the blacksmiths' bellows. I'm really hands for that. That's really effective. Zirk Whisperer's to Hank and says, I think I might defect.

I am down. I am down. I'm sweating. The sweat is making interesting patterns and all the smoke and so it's awesome. It's very psychedelic. Really working that so it. Billy, you see Brimdung approaches you with Isaac who you recognize

and two new gentlemen. And you see Brimdo's kind of interrupts you from your work, you were a little bit in the zone and goes, yeah, really. Yeah. Grimmy. Yeah. Grimmy, I'll be the new crew.

Yeah, yeah, these three, new armor, new weapons, get rid of the old stuff, just kind of just your same old. Same old. We found it some million times, Grim. And then he kind of perks up like he forgot something, which for Grim Dung, perking up is kind of just like twisting his lips and being like, I've never seen him this animated. Yeah. Yeah, turns around and looks at the three recruits and goes

Yeah, first Culling has a two options. You can take the trial of the mind or trial of the body Which one are which one you guys gonna do? I'm just gonna hung up on the word Culling That seems intense right. Yeah, of course you're tense here. You gotta get rid of the guy So do we make do we make the call and then find out which, you know, what they are? It's a, yeah, the body is, you do like a drows thing to the death, you try to kill them.

To the what? To the death? Just to the what? To the death. To the watch of death? To the verge of death? The child of the mind is, you know, wizard, the bacon, fours kind of thing. To the death. To the what? To of death. Trow the mind is a wizard, Beck and Forrest kind of thing,

you did a death here. To the what? To the death. All right, you want to do the mind, dirty the body, because that'll depend on what kind of equipment you get. Okay, body, body, I guess.

Yeah, yeah. And Zerke looks at his body and goes, mind. Hahaha. Isaac goes, I'll do the body. And Grimdung looks at Billion goes, alright, alright, get points to Hank. Get in the sky from a shield and some goddamn pair. Shield. It's shield. Get the other guy, pants. Yeah, pants. No problem. No, I don't have a five.

I think that's great. If the shield's big enough, do you really need pants? Yes, yes, yes, he needs to goddamn pants. That Billy has a point. She doesn't. She doesn't. Sure, my friend is very proud of his knees. All right, just in my patience here, cooling.

Yeah, okay, no, I am surely going to die. Okay, I'll die in pants. I will be a pre-culling if you're not careful. All right. Look and you get the other guy a small guy a weak guy get him some like leather armor or whatever No weapons. No weapons for you. All right. I take this all in I make a slide at Isaac to kind of like get on the same page being like kind of like I see you I see you And then I say grimy actually it's so fortunate that you are here. I have a huge favor to ask of my favorite sergeant Yeah, my fat absolute favorite I you, I get absolutely slammed on arena days and Lord Sive is like fucking fuming and looks like it's hissy about everything that happens.

So he's sending all his top generals to get more, you know, get the equipment tip top shape. Could I borrow these recruits for a couple hours to just sort of like, you know, a couple extra hands really can of like, you know, a couple extra hands really can fill out an ombre. I could do the bellows, me and the spider, sir. Oh yeah.

Yeah, circuit tips to lift a hammer. Yeah, I could help. Spider looks like he's doing a good job at the bit of. Yeah, but the spider actually just unionized, so he's about to take lunch break So I can get someone who's not I will I will scab I will cross that line Billy go ahead and give me a persuasion check if you can buy me in Hank that's basically eight arms Is my shit, so I

basically eight arms. The Swagant is my shit, so I swear to fucking God, I just quit. Oh my god. Yeah, you see, you see Grim Dong is very into the idea of scabs breaking up unions. And is also weirdly kind of one over by Billy for being this very kind of grim person. I shoot him my metal tooth. And my little dimples come out. Oh, sure. Quite a smiley guy, though.

Zombies can have dimples too. Yeah, dimples, just like me. Did you craft those dimples yourself? I hired a chisel behind my back. All right, yeah, you can borrow them for a couple of hours. I'll be back in two hours for the culling, alright? No more than two hours. Thank you, Grammy, you're the best.

Yeah, alright. Thank you, Sergeant Grimmy. Yeah, you're the best. Full name for you guys. Grimdom. Damn right on the list. Sergeant Grimdom. Don't worry, it doesn't take long to get on Grimmy terms with him. He takes a long time. He's a softie. He's a softie. Damn run, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry I'm always going to call it later. Good to hear it from you, because you just seem like he would kill us if he had the chance.

Yes, so I'm Grimdung walks away, Billy. OK, so as soon as he walks away, I think I look at Isaac. And I'm like, you take your team in there. And I point my little like Smithy Hut. It's like a door with like a little spider door knocker. Yeah. So I'm like, you in there, I'll create a distraction. And I want to kind of like put a bunch of coal on the forge

and cast like fog cloud to basically make it look like the forge is so busy that you're here. Oh, right. Yeah, there's definitely like drag goons around and stuff. So like you said, you needed these guys for work, but you're just going to make it like really hazy. So it's stuff for people to see. So you create this fog cloud,

I didn't even start billowing yet. You didn't do that, it's, it's magic. Wow, I must be a natural. Give the, give the bellows back to the spider. I noticed that the spider inflated a tiny little red. I thought that unionized. Pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff yeah, yeah, all right. You're the only time to make a tiny sign. You're a God. Damn it.

Yeah, and then whenever they, like, I basically just do that to like kind of obscure it so that we can go inside without seeming suspicious. You make a big thing of smoke. As the smoke goes up and Isaac walks off, Isaac goes, oh yeah, these, not exactly my team yet, but we'll talk about that inside. Okay.

Yes, we're not a team yet. We must be called first. We must die or come to the edge of death. Okay. Okay, so I guess I go, I open the door. I like them in. You know, what does your little home look like here, Billy? Okay.

My little Smithie's heart is basically just like a humble little like one room place there's like a little fire in the middle with like a be all kind of like roasting on a spit. There's a little dog bed for Inget there's like jewelry tools just about you can see I'm kind of like into making jewelry. And then there's also like little like all slash lanterns filled with lava from the moh, kind of like little lava lamps. Whoa! Whoa! I guess I'm getting groovier and groovier as we go. How did you get the lava to stay suspended in there? What sort of glass are you using? How did you get the lava to stay suspended in there? What sort of glass are you using?

Oh, it's It's a really special glass. It's lava glass is what it is. Lava glass. Don't look at it. Don't look at it. I stand in the way between Zork and the glass. If you put sand in a volcano, it can turn into lava glass. That's how I did it and that's scientific and mathematical. So that... Well, yeah, it's blue lava, so it works different here. Right, right, the properties are different, it makes sense.

Yes, this must be, so... Some sort of enchanted glass. Yeah, it sort of makes like a glass bubble, and then you can sort of like decorate your walls with it. That's great. No one knows shit about endoteraphysics, so no one can fucking combat that. Okay, wait, hold on. Isaac, what the, this isn't your team? What the fuck is going on?

Okay, let's calm down with the t-word in front of the new people because I'm not 100% that they're, that we're what? Oh, yeah, we're all team Reaper. I'd nudge Hank. We love, hey, I don't know about you guys, but I can't wait to be a dragon.

Right, and I sort of nod my head, and like. Right, and I personally live every single day grateful to live under the reign of fucking Lord Sy. Yes, raise the roof for that guy, yes. We all perform really jilted, raise the roof for that guy. Yes. We all perform really jilted raise the roof. Sight for life. We love it.

Everybody go ahead and do insight checks. OK. I just grew it again. This is really shit. Wow. The little deer face means Lord. Whoa, we're destined to be friends. Fuck yeah. I rolled a 19 so that's a 24.

23 for me. Good Lord. Yeah, everybody, the jig is up, everybody sees that everybody is lying. Okay, I lower the roof. I'm lowering the roof now. Hey, great job. Lower roof. It's a fucking, it's a floor.

It's like the fucking true foul. I saw those folks who were giving me those eyebrows. They were so expressive They're very expressive. I know I have a mind to the lines. There could be no lies in the blue lava light. I have to be honest when I first saw you I thought they're pretty small to be the bruises that was sent in for me. Right. Yeah, here's the thing Billy So I came in with a team and they were all killed when we were fighting the scale worm. Were they on the west? What?

They were in the east, I think. Oh, well, were you there? Were there some seas? I was, yeah, maybe, but I feel like the east had a really strong shell. I heard that the east was the weakest quadrant. I think so. I got freaking every stat sort of like gossip passed through the camp. I think so. I've got for kids. That sort of like gossip passed through the camp. How high is it impossible?

Last arena everyone said East is a beast. This time they said East is the least. Oh fuck. Well let's not completely dishonor the dead here because a lot of good people brave people were killed. Right. Yeah. So my team was wiped out.

Oh no. But then as we're being brought in, one of the other combatants who wasn't involved with us jumped in and saved Glorick right before he could be assassinated. That's our friend Fia. That's our friend Fia. Wait, you know the person she rescued? You know Fia?

You know Fia? How could you know? Well, I know Fia has a lot of weird acquaintances. I don't know Fia personally. I just got a message from Gorg. What did it say? Tell us! Yeah, Billy, um, what did Fia say in her message? Okay, well, I-I'm assuming that since you're not on the reaper side,

that it's okay if I divulge this in front of you, I don't even know that. Yeah, fuck that guy. Two of you are even fucking from, but we'll get to that. If the friends of this FIA person, she literally saved Gourg's life. So if you heard from Gourg from his sending stones, so they're okay. Gourg sent me a message.

FIA is safe and she wanted someone named Henry and Zirk, who made it through the battle. She wanted someone to look after them, make sure they were safe and let them know that she is a little busy right now, helping my people on the outside, but she will come find you soon. make sure they were safe and let them know that she is a little busy right now helping my people on the outside, but she will come find you soon. Okay, that's us.

That message is for us. Okay. Oh, I point to Zirk and I say Henry and then I point. Henry say Zirk. You know, either way, we're, we love nicknames. I think I hug Zirk. I'm really happy that he is okay yeah wow Zirk just hugged Henry just call us

either way yeah wait tell you meet my shadow sure the new fear we have a plan yeah well I apparently she had some plan and she's working with them out there and now Isaac and I have to figure out how to support that in here. Well, then I guess we are your team. Would you be? I want to be a part of whatever fear is a part of. Okay.

Well, I want you to know what we're doing is incredibly dangerous. It's the culmination of two to three years of me infiltrating this camp and it's going to require stealth, courage, bravery, strength, wits, and a little bit of brandy. I was thinking I wasn't your guy right up until the end there. Yeah, sign me up for at least two of those and the brand It's like a beetle bladder like yeah, they put I think I'll be a bladder of a brandy and I say yeah Okay, so we start with the brandy. I'm on board. It's tongue darts towards it So you guys all share a drink and I'll say that

Billy and Isaac can kind of also convey to you guys a lot of the things that Glorg told Fia that their mission is that there is this vault under endocassal that holds secrets from the deep folk that the Lord's side is hoarding for himself. So getting these secrets out, getting the secrets of like the nature of the gods, or whatever, could help inspire a revolution here. But not only that, you also find out that arena is involved in this, that she is also on the inside. So not only does this kind of mission line up with your duty as blades to protect Sarenesis,

but you also think there is some personal stuff here like Hank, you know you're cursed by a fairy called Leonora, but you don't know how to break it, you don't know why it happened in the first place, you don't know if there are any other effects or what happens if you die or something like that, Zerk, you asked Gres if it was possible if like the deep folk knew how to make the Alkyr elix. And Gresh said she didn't know, but that there were, you know, she became a cleric because the deep folk like were known as having some of the most powerful clerics. So this place won't necessarily have the answers to all of your questions, but this is the kind of the most likely place to hold lost ancient knowledge or like techniques pertaining to supernatural?

Zirk here is secret vault full of forbidden knowledge and starts vibrating. You want to put your mouth on that for sure. Which part of the beetle do I drink from? The bladder. You go back to front. So I was wrong. but this is right. So basically that's what we're doing and unfortunately or fortunately I don't know how you see it, it's going down tomorrow.

I wish it were happening before the culling, but I guess we'll have to survive that first. It's actually good that it's happening after because we can get you into dragoon outfits, we can get you dragoon grunt credentials, you'll be walking about the castle grounds, not with respect because you will be actually kind of like lowest in the social space. Yeah, but you'll be walking around fitting in. A small bead of swagger, we will. Can I see a small bead of swagger, we will enjoy. I could use one of those. I could use one of those. I could use one of those.

I could use one of those. I could use one of those. I could use one of those. I could use one of those. I could use one of those. I could use one of those. I could use one of those. I could use one of those.

I could use one of those. I could use one of those. I could use one of those. I could use one of those. I could use one of those. I could use one of those. I could use one of those. I could use one of those.

I could use one of those. I could use one of those. I could use one of those. I could use one of those. I could use one of those. I could use one of those. I could use bits of drink. Correct. Uh, I can I use my tool proficiency? Sure. Ha ha ha ha. That's a not one good god. I really could have gone either way when I heard that laugh. That's a joke.

Zirk creates a marble with that like Stussy S on it. Ha ha ha. And I'll say that as you breathe into laugh at your own joke, it shoots up your nose. And if you get choking, you can help me. Use your thin hands to get that marble. I lead over to Henry, and I say, Henry's a bit of a clutz, huh? Yeah, that guy's an idiot.

Zork is just so happy to be called Henry Henry because he respects him so much that he doesn't change it. They call him illuck Henry so that makes sense that that just happened to him. Illuck Henry. Illuck Henry. I love it actually. Zerg the spider is going down my shirt. Zerg help.

Oh shit that's me. Did you guys change names like for fun or something? I don't know. Is that your names? Yes, okay. Are you slacking me off in? We're trying to be honest with each other. Everything in our life is really bad, so we have to make fun where we can.

I'm sirk actually. And I'm Henry or Hank, whichever you prefer. Isaac pulls out his sword, and how are we supposed to trust you? Oh, I show my eyebrows again. Oh. I bought my crossbow, I join Isaac. Yeah, how can we trust you? You lied.

Shank, Shank. We work as a... I move Shank to the side because we've been sort of cohabitating. Hey, maybe it's just proof that we're good at subterfuge. We just wanted to prove ourselves to you. Huh?

I love it. I really am, trust me. Yeah, sure. All right. Thank God you're here, Shay. And an amazing display of to see you're in both of you. Whatever the fuck your names are. Yeah, you see I'm writing Isaac Pipes up and goes,

yeah, if we can win our matches in the culling, then we will establish ourselves as dragoons. Hopefully we can find ourselves back here. Billy, maybe you can work your magic and get us some kind of assignment where we can be with you. I think I actually made a really good impression on Grimy today.

Yeah. Almost, it's almost like I made the best impression I possibly could make. Yeah, you just didn't have eyebrows, but I feel like they raised. I thought I clocked a smile as he walked away, at least the curl of the lips. The hat.

Right, I've ever seen him for sure. What I saw, yeah, what I saw was not a brown. I'll tell you that. Yeah. Billy busies herself in her jewelry. I've ever seen him for sure what I saw yeah what I saw was not a brown. I'll tell you that yeah Billy busies herself in her jewelry I just I can't need to keep my hands busy. You have so many pairs of pliers. I do do you want some? Oh, I mean I would never turn down a pair of pliers. I could probably give you something in return tweezers It's rude to get tools without exchanging.

Yeah, I give you a huge set of pliers that I've engraved and done all this metal work into for a pair of tweezers. These are great fulfillment work though. Oh, true! Absolutely true. By the way, you're right, this is massive. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs. There a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age old

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Could you engrave something for me and in my little friend? I pull out Spoonie. Oh, thank you. No, I could have done that for you at any time. Yeah, I wanted it to be special. Whoa. Zergosin looks at the lava lamp. Can I just like behold it? Can I just do like an insight check to I really want Billy to sense that this has once been alive Got it good doing our connoissech, I guess 16 16 There's some residual magic on it magic has been cast on this in the past like day or two There's like a whiff of witchcraft on this

What what would you like engraved craft on this. What would you like engraved? Maybe just an anchor. An anchor? Just like flat on its face or on its handle. What do you think Spoonie? Oh, I say can you pretend to be Spoonie? Yeah sure. Buddy, I want it on my voice. Yeah, voice. So I wanted to be like, I want to get like two. On your handle, like a sort of like a sleeve. Yeah, I want like a sick, I want like a nautical star going into like, have kind of like smaller little stars

around it. And right next to it, like an anchor. And then like a banner around it that says, live free. I'm fucking proud of you. Go on about this. Go on about this. And just like absolutely destroys this spoon.

We're not a cool imagery. Ah, so Spoonie gets absolutely tatted up. That's a fuck. I accept Spoonie back with fucking tears streaming down my eyes. You were right to wait. I could not haveie back with fucking tears streaming down my eyes. You were right to wait. I could not have done this Hank. This is beautiful work.

But, Zerka, I will use this to spoon your potions into my mouth. I promise you that. And I will also say that, that Isaac and Billy described to you guys that the plan is kind of twofold, that there's gonna be this team on the inside, which would be you guys, like once you get in on the dragoons.

We're on the inside now. That can kind of move around freely. And then there's a team on the outside that was supposed to be led by Glorg before he was captured or that at least was kind of masterminded and he's like the like plans guy that is supposed to converge with the inside team tomorrow. I have always thought of myself as an indoor kid, so this works out.

So I guess, is there anything you need because now that we're a team, if I can say it, weapons in, friends. But the spoon, I put the spoon in, and I say, there's nothing more I could need in the world. Right. I take my huge heavy crossbow and accidentally knock the spoon out here I say there's nothing more I could need in the world. Right. I hit. I hit.

I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit.

I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit.

I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit.

I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. I hit. ol. ol. ol. on you during your fight, you might be disqualified. The culling is like kind of pretty particular, and it's like easy to pick someone off and get disqualified. But I promise, I swear, on my lack of a heart, that I will make sure that your weaponry is totally safe and ready for you when you succeed. Oh, thanks, Billy. If you need it for any spellcasting or something, you can hide it on your person, but just don't whip out your weapon in the trial of the mind because it is specifically supposed

to just be you versus another mage. Oh, I have many ways of casting spells. I hold up my beat of swagger. She's back up in the nose. I don't even get that out of your nose. Oh, I'm just covered in gum. How did you get that out of your nose with about tweezers?

Why is it so slippery? My tweezers, try me back, try me back. He hacked it up, yep. I kick him over and then shove the tweezers up and grab the beat out Just like a really a really like no nonsense dentist. Oh, I'll figure something out. Don't worry So I'll say by the time you guys have like gotten all this info out and like eat had a had a drink Had a little bit of time getting to know each other

I'll say enough time has passed that now it's about time to start getting ready if you have any spells You'd like to cast or anything. Okay. Hank needs a shield and some armor for his joust and Zirk needs some new armor and needs to hide his weapon if you want to raise it and spell casting focus or something. I've got two things. I go to Henry, the real Henry, because I know of her names now. And I say, I have two options for you. I can give you armor that makes you feel super powerful.

Or I can give you a shield with a little bit of fuckery. Hmm. I like fuckery. I like fuckery. Let's fuck with this guy. I go to my like sick wall of weapons that I guess I didn't mention when we first got to in. Oh wow! Oh, they remind that bed sheet. You can only mention the lava lamps in the spider bed, but not the web. Yeah, they're behind that beaded curtain. Yeah. I grab, and I use an infusion for repulsion shield, and I give it to you. Oh, Ruby. What does repulsion shield do?

A creature gains plus one bonus to armor class wall, wielding the shield. The shield has four charges. While holding it, the wielder can use a reaction immediately after being hit by a melee attack to expend one of the shield's charges and push the attacker up to 15 feet away. immediately after being hit by a melee attack to expend one of the shield's charges and push the attacker up to 15 feet away. The shield regains 1D4 expended charges daily at dawn.

Sweet. Ooh, look at that thing. And then I love that. I think I look at my little jewelry station and then I say to Zirk, Zach, from one experimenter to a napa. Oh, yes. I was wondering if I could try a little something on you. Zach, from like one experimenter to a nava. Oh yes.

I was wondering if I could try a little something on you. Zork starts taking off his shirt. I let it out. Wasn't it? Actually, I say, you know what, I can work with this. And I want to give him a belly button, Pierce. Oh, my God. Zirk closes his eyes. We don't like it.

So he doesn't see this happening. Basically, I'm just using the jewelry as a way to cast-warding bond. Sweet. So what are you gonna, oh! Just Pierce. And it's just like a little enchanted room covering belly button ring.

Yeah. Zirk sees the belly button ring go in and then this phantasmal chain connecting the two of us. And then I'm like, and then I look at it and I'm like, I'm so sorry, I didn't even ask you. Would you have preferred nipple? Maybe one day, let's work up to it. Okay. I've never seen a pierced outy, very interesting.

And then right before we go in, I'll have a little something else to cast, but that's it for now Sweet, thank you. Yes Thank you to help us not get called. I really appreciate it. Yes, of course anything to help you know this person that help Log. Yeah, huge fucking fans. We're huge Glock fans. We're freaking and we're all all huge fans of fear now I can't wait for you all to meet fear can't speak never matter never matter

Could be cool could be shit. I don't know. I think it's good Lord if you're a glorke fan. It should be a fear fan I would say that fear is like glorke level solid. Oh god. Wow That's a borderline blast for me, but I'll let you get away with it because I have warding bonds. So if I attack you I attack myself Just please do not rip out my belly button ring with your spectral chain So yes, we should say what warding bond is but basically I'm sure if you gain resistance to all damage Because you're going to be sharing it now with Billy Billy will take have your damage Wow, so pretty freaking rad. And then you also get a plus one bonus to AC and saving throws.

Zirk has never been on a date and he thinks that this is what dating is. Thank you, my lady. Anytime, babe. The beat of Swagger has gone to his head. It literally has. It went up his nose. The thing is behind his eyes, I can see it. I can get it.

I can grip it out with the tweezers. I'm gonna need thinner tweezers. We have to throw that beat into the fire. It's gonna keep going up there. So I'm gonna say, Isaac doesn't really need anything because he's known, like you guys didn't know about this mission, Isaac knew that he was gonna need to joust in everything, he does look a little hurt

like emotionally but he doesn't need it necessarily. So he's like, yeah, no, I'm fine, yeah. And I've studied the blade and I've studied the lance. So sorry, why would you be sorry for when I'm capable. Cause like, the thing is the third infusion's for me. Right. Yeah, and of course, and what would it be? For me.

Yeah. Actually speaking of that, I want to, I presumably already had it, but I take out a vial of perfume. It's the perfume of bewitching. And when I spray it on myself, I'll have advantage on charisma checks just in case. Fuck yes. I mean to socially handle this situation. Parties should just be three alchemists, part of it.

It's the best class. Sweet, so I'll say time has passed now, so it is time to get going to the first colleague. Okay, so right as we're going, I hit them. I hit, I feel bad for Isaac, so I'm going to hit Isaac and Henry with a heroism. Okay, oh, and I will use tinkering to enchant Isaac's blade with some cool neon red flames. Whoa. All right. I'm not above a neon red flame. Henry looks down at the ground.

I got more tinkering slots, bud. What do you want? No, it's fine. I tinker, I tinker the spoony so that it also has red flames on top of its nautical nature. It shouldn't go together but it really works. Wow. So you guys are brought to the training yard outside of the barracks.

You see there are a bunch of drag wounds crowded around making a circle like getting ready to watch and you guys are lined up with other recruits. You recognize some people for being like the couple of guys that you came in with that were in the fighting pit, fighting the worm, but you see that there are other recruits that were presumably grabbed from other places. And you see Grimdung speaks up to the line and goes, very recruits, who will take the trial of the body? You see most of the recruits are, you know, gladiator types, so a bunch of dudes step forward, do either of you step forward.

I step forward. Okay, hang steps forward, go get him, hang. You see Isaac also steps forward, you see Grimdung begins pairing people off and sets Hank to face off with this like wide shouldered gladiator looking white with a skull helm. You saw that he had had an axe when you guys were in the fighting pits, but now he has a lance

like everyone else. And Hank, as they usher you off to get ready Grimdung speaks up to the line of recruits and goes and Who will take the trial of the mind You see a few magic users step forward I will I say it in like the exact intonation that Grimdung speaks There you go. Where will it doing anything for you Grimdung pairs. No, very good. Where will it do anything for you? Grimdung pairs Zirkup with a battle mage looking guy with like long, white, stringy hair.

One and a half of his face is fully exposed to skull, breastplate over a dusty black robe. You guys hear the sounds of military drums as they begin getting everyone into position. The training area is large enough that they look like they are going to do several fights simultaneously. Billy, you are in the crowd here.

You have positioned yourself between the two fights. Everybody go ahead and roll initiative. I rolled a one. Oh God, what is that though? Oh yeah, you know, it's a five. Well Hank, you are lucky because with a joust. Is he? It's just gonna be one attack. So it's just on a five. Well Hank, you are lucky because with a joust, it's just gonna be one attack,

so it's just on a pass, you guys both attack, so all that having a low initiative means is that you lose like a tie. Got it. Cool. So the dude is gonna be a little bit like faster on the jump than you, so if you guys kill each other on the same turn,

he's gonna win. Right. But you guys attack on the same initiative essentially. Okay. What did you get, sir? I got a win. Right. But you guys attack on the same initiative essentially. Okay. What did you get, sir? I got a nine. Okay. Oh, and also as we're walking into the stadium, I want to kind of like discreetly chug another alter-self potion so that you can see that like the bone horns on my face were like starting to shrivel. And I like drink this potion and my skull Fassad kind of reappears rad. Okay, so Hank you are given a skeletal horse and a wooden lance You see across the field from you is your opponent this gladiator on a skeletal horse

He's handed a lance as well Grim dung goes over the rules with you guys There's no magic no weapons you get knocked off the horse, you get back on, you fight till you die, winter joins our ranks. And drinks a beer with you tonight maybe. Sir! A zirc, you are brought to a nearby sand pit, looks slightly different, doesn't have a bar down the middle to like separate the two jousters.

You are placed about 30 feet apart from the battle mage who stares at you from across the battlefield. There's like a line in the middle of the field. You see Grim Dong walks up to you guys and goes, only magic, no weapons, can't cross center line. You fight till you die. Chaos orb will change every round. You see, I'm sorry, he just, I just are cold up his hand.

Ah, did I forget to mention that? Really? Right. Also, there's a chaos orb. I knew that all along. It's not new information to me. You see, he produces a sphere that looks almost like a crystal ball and tosses it in the air, where it begins hovering, flying to the exact point between the two of you. With a crack of purple arcane lightning, it goes from clear to cloudy and begins emitting like colorful magic. So this is how it's going to work.

Hank, you are going to be doing jousting rules. These are based on some jousting rules by somebody named Humbru Humunculus. So thank you for creating these rules Humbru Humunculus. Basically, on a pass, you attack once. You just attack with your proficiency plus your strength with the lance. All hits are charged. So every hit is a D12 plus your strength plus 3D6 of damage from like getting a charging start. As you charge, you can choose an attack style or you can stay neutral. So you can just attack normally or you can be aggressive, which is plus 5 to attack, minus 5 to AC, or you can be defensive, minus 5 to attack, plus 5 to AC.

You can also choose a horse riding style, which is minus 5 to attack plus 5 to AC. Whoa. You can also choose a horse riding style, which is minus 5 to attack, but plus 5 to strength save, which will stop you from getting knocked off the horse and taking more damage, or you can be high in the saddle, which will add plus 5 to attack, but minus 5 to your strength save.

Or again, you can just do it neutral. Okay, wow, this is awesome. If you fall off the horse, you will be taking more damage, so you awesome. If you fall off the horse, you'll be taking more damage so you definitely don't want to fall off the horse, but also you might not want to be that conservative because you got to do damage as well. Right, then for the trial of the mind's zirc, the chaos orb changes the battlefield at the top of every round. The effect is decided by AD6. AD6. Most of the things that will just like flash

and do something right away, but some of the things are a little tricky, so you might have to do like in our conno check to determine what it's gonna do. It might need like a certain trigger, so you'll kind of find out as the fight goes. Can I send my steel defender to work with Zach? Oh, so you basically want to pretend like it's Zerks familiar?

Yeah. Okay, go ahead basically want to pretend like it zirks familiar? Yeah. Okay, go ahead and give me a deception check. Can I have it like melt into sort of like, instead of being a spider, like which everyone might know me for? Yeah, they do, for sure. I like to turn it into like, I might turn it into like a little snake.

Sure. Ooh, what if I pour it? That's not my snake. What if I pour it out of a beaker into my hands and it turns into a snake? Sweet, go ahead and give me a deception check with advantage That's a one in a three But three plus wait my my deception is really good eight eleven

Okay, um, you see that as Zirk as you go to like pull this out you see Grim Dungos. Er, no no familiar snow Oh, oh, this is a gift for you. For, it'll fetch you more beers. Er, er, er. For when we're hanging out tonight. Just takes the vile and throws it. Ah! Sweet, okay, sorry Billy.

At the top of the round, the gladiator rolled really good on decks. So Hank and the gladadiator are first. You guys are both at top of these skeletal horses. Normally this might take some sort of animal handling check, but Hank, this is like a zombie horse like commanded by probably necromancers here. So it is the most docile, easiest horse to ride

you've ever had. It just, without even obeying any of your command, it's just like, oh, it's time to joust. Grimdung said, go, all right. You guys both charge at each other. Do you have an attack or a horse riding style that you would like to do? Yes.

Feeling comfortable on this horse, like a tiller in my hands, since it's on autopilot. I'm going to attack aggressively, so I'll add plus five to attack, minus five to AC, but I won't go whole hog yet, I'll hog fish, I should say. So I'll just do a standard riding style, normal. I'm going to say this dude is going to do aggressive attack style and high in the saddle. So he has right now like a plus 18 to attack.

So you guys charge at each other, go ahead and make the attack simultaneously. All right. Okay, that's a 24. Okay, super hits this dude, but he also hits you, he got a... Imagine, with's a 24. Okay, super hits this dude, but he also hits you. He got a- Imagine, with a plus a 27 to hit.

So you guys both hit each other. You guys see they crash into each other. Hit each other shields. The Lance is break and hit each other like both in the chest with concussive damage. Go ahead and roll your damage. Hank, do a D12 plus your strength plus 3D6. Just like a boat with legs, Hank.

Okay, that's 24 damage. Nice. He did 21 damage. So you guys blast into each other. Huge crash. Zirk, you hear it from across the battlefield. These dragon's are like too well trained to just like cheer. They begin just like Pounding their lances like into the ground in appreciation. Should have done the mind should have done the mind

Can I expend a charge from this shield as well? Yeah go for it. So that is gonna push him 15 feet is that right Emily while holding it the wielder can use a reaction immediately after being hit by a melee attack to expend one of the shields charges and push the attacker 15 feet away. The shield regains 1-4 expended charges daily at dawn. Sweet. Oh, I see. Okay, so you go down to three charges, but as you guys collide, this dude is knocked back. So it looks like you just cleaned the dude's fucking clock. You hear people banging their lances. This dude flips off, go ahead and do an extra three

d6 of damage as this dude crashes into the ground. Come on, three sixes. Nine. You gotta teach me that infusion. Sweet, and Hank, you took 21 damage. Go ahead and do a dc21 strength check for you to stay on your horse. Okay.

So you are rocked back as you hit this dude. How far away is Hank from me? Oh, you, I mean, you're not gonna be able to help him. There's too many people around. Yeah. It's only a 17. 17, Hank, you are also knocked off your horse. And you take an additional 11 damage. You crack, you like land on your neck and roll over.

And you feel a bunch of drag drag wounds run over and grab you. It's like a it's like a wrestling lumberjack match. They just throw you back on the horse. Yeah, get back up there. Get back in the saddle boys. I'll see you with the tavern tonight. This other dude like looks fucked up, but looks tough and Just gets back up on his horse After those guys go actually go ahead and roll a D6 see what the chaos orb does starts glowing and Rotating around there's this explosion of arcane energy. What does it do? Oh, I'm so distracted by this orb That's a five. A five. Ooh, go ahead and make a DC 16

arcana check to get a spell slot back equal to your intelligence modifier. Whoa. So if your intelligence modifier is four, you can get two second level spells or a fourth level spell as long as you pass the arcana check. Basically, you see the orb like explodes with arcane energy. You and this other dude both begin like surging with power. He is fresh for the day so he doesn't really get any benefits from this but you might get something back that you lost. Okay, so my Arcana is not, that's gonna be a dirty 20. Dirty 20 passes so you can get a level 4 spell slot back or two level twos or four level ones., however much but I have to intelligence so I could get one third level back and that okay.

Yep, yep, yep. Oh shit, I can take my third level and my two first levels and be it full. That's incredible. Great. Yeah, Zirk opens his mouth up and you see these like sparks of arcane energy just fly in. Rat, that is the battle may just turn. Um, and it's going to cast a fourth level in Fernel Calling and summon a barbed devil. You see this little like, orcupine type like

fucked up, little devil dude. Pops up, um, right next user. Bleh, blah, blah, blah! Um, and, uh, gonna roll initiative for the barb's devil fuck Who's this guy huh is this fair? There's a guy here now. Yeah, I thought you said no familiar I thought you said no guys It's under recent guess a spill to spill goddamn it. No, you totally right barb devil rolled higher than the battle mage on His initiative so does not go yet.

Oh, okay. Does not go until next round. So you see this Barb Devil just appears next to you. Zirk. Hey. Then it is your turn. I want to survey the crowd and see how they're feeling about the Barb Devil. Everyone is so stone-faced.

Stanley is trying not to root for the devil, but she is wearing a, we love the devil shirt. Yeah, as the devil pops up, there's some respectful hitting of stabs into the ground. And that's going wild for this audience. Oh no. Is it really like a stone-faced audience? Yeah, it's absolutely a stone-faced audience.

Okay, Stanley is trying so hard to not express all the emotions she normally does. All right, get ready for a heel turn. Zurker is gonna cast Dispel Magic on the Barb Devil. Whoa! Rad! Yeah. So that is a level five spell. So do you still want to cast that? It means you could fail the role, but you'll probably pass. We have Flash and Genius. Yeah, I was going to try and use my Flash and Genius on it. OK, so go ahead and it is a DC-15. I've got my glowing dice absorbing sunlight on the windowsill. Rad? I'm going to use the roll one of those.

They did you bad last week, I think. Yeah, they weren't full of sunlight, those were. Oh, there you go. They had charged up Okay, that's a six okay, but plus 10 That's a 16 right I take out a big vat of acid and I just poured it directly on The bar devil Yeah, you immediately disintegrate this barbs devil Meltzerway is gone, and even I hold up my hands to the crowd.

This extremely stoic crowd, you do hear one just, boo! We are back up to the Gladiator and Hank. Hank, go around for round two. Clash of the jousters, this dude is nervous after having just gotten knocked off. So he's gonna go neutral on his attack.

I'm gonna go for the same, plus five to attack aggressive, but the standard horse saddle. Cause, you know, I'm feeling this thing. I really, I like the way a horse feels between my legs. Sweet. 31. Good. 31. Good. I mean, yeah, yeah, you hit him.

He got a 17 to hit. I'm gonna imagine that hits with the minus five penalty you took. I got so excited for a second, but yeah. No fucking way. Yeah, yeah. Sweet, so both of you guys, once again, just both fucking crack each other so hard.

Go ahead and roll 3d6 plus a d12. He does 26 damage that time. I do 23 damage, and I am also gonna expend a charge and knock him with the Billy's shield as well. You see he goes flying off, is gonna take another 3d6. Go ahead and roll 3 more d6 of damage.

Just explodes off. Looks like Hank is just really getting the better of him. Oh, that's another 13 damage. Good lord. Yeah, this dude's like, I got my good luck charm, which is Spoonie, sitting in my pocket. Go ahead and give me a strength saving throw

because you got hit for 26. 17. 17, you also fly off. You guys are just murdering each other. Just like two unskilled horse riders, but good warriors just crashing into each other. You both fall, Hank, you take an additional 11 damage. Okay.

After Hank, that is the D6 for the Chaos Orb. Go ahead and roll it, Zirk. All right, I almost forgot about the Chaos Orb. That's a two. A two. Go ahead and give me an intelligence saving throw. As you see, arcane lightning bursts from the sphere. This dude is-

Plus one to it, by the way. Yes, this dude is also going to do an intelligence saving throw. Ooh, baby, I failed. Good. That's good. I got a Nat 20. Whoa! Whoa!

Yeah! All right. That was a nice surprise damn this dude takes 16 damage from this lightning as it hits him But you dodge is only room for one devil here. That's me. Yeah, right. I'm the real devil You'll see fuck you this dude just cast a uses a second devil his second fifth level spell Last one to cast off fifth level fireball I'm going to give me dexterity saving throws. Erk. I'm out of flash of geniuses Shout out to the two crew. Jesus Lord. Oh, what I do for damage, but we'll be sharing it. Oh, yes That's true. It's oh thank god. This is the all even fire? Yes, she's just gonna take a bunch of it.

Fifth level fireball. I've done that before and it feels good. God damn it, it's probably feeling really good. 47 damage. Oh my God. Which becomes? 23. 23.

That's huge, huge, huge, huge. Yeah yeah you see burst of fire hits you Zirk head on but you feel a healing surge through you as your connection to Billy let's her take half of the damage for you oh millions of little healing needles inside the armor, perfect! That is back to Zirk. Zirk from his pack pulls out a bazooka-sized tube. You see some magical liquid bubbling in the end of the tube, and Zirk fits like a big chunk of metal into the edge of the tube, and basically makes a glass potato launcher and is gonna fire it directly at this mage. Sweet! I dedicate this shot to Captain Grimdung! Drinks on me tonight!

Shots! Shots! Shots! I'm a sergeant. Right, sir! I'll drink to that. Just Captain Sergeant! You deserve all the ranks! Dexave... fails. Woo! Alright, that is gonna be 3D8 bludgeoning damage. Good. That is a 16 damage, okay?

And after I deal this damage, I go to use Healing Word, which I think I can do with collateral healing, or is that tied to my gun? That is tied to your gun, that's one of your guns abilities. Here's what I will say. You can do that, sir. You have it on your person, I'll say that. It's under your like armor right now.

If you wanna do a sleight of hand, I will say it's not a super hard DC, but obviously a big failure means you're eliminated and they kill you. Don't use the glow in the dark dice. I'm gonna hold off for now, because I'm not super hard up for hit points, but I will consider this option in the future. That is Hank in the Gladiators' turns. Hank, anything with your fighting style? Yeah, Hank is gonna go for broke. I'm trying to bust this guy's ass. I'm gonna ride aggressive, pack aggressive.

Okay. All out. This dude is gonna do the opposite because he's been fucked up a couple of times. So he's gonna brace and he's gonna ride defensively. Whoa. All right. So let's go ahead and roll.

I mean, I rolled a 19 on the die. That's, Jesus Christ. It's gonna be like 30 something to hit. So that's 28. 38. 38. Good. Cause he has a 26 AC right now. He has an ability that lets him add three to his modifier, but he cannot get up that high. But he does hit you. Cause your AC is so low and you're alive. No way. No way. Believe it or not, you high in the saddle. So go ahead. Both you guys roll your damage. I love that this is just you guys just fucking ramming each other

Clearly not cut out to be a jouster just trying to outlast him Yeah, and either is this guy 20 damage from him and I'm gonna Use another charge on this thing and knock him off. I don't want him to make the save. He gets knocked clean off Okay, that is 35 damage total total Henry finish him. Yes, yeah, baby So yeah, I kind of like get up legolas style surfing or Yeah, like surfing on the on the horse And as I knock him off with the joust I reach into my pocket grab Spoonie and I just Jab him really quick right in the neck.

Jesus Christ. To finish him. Yeah, you stab this dude in the neck. He falls off the horse limply. You ride to the edge of the jousting area. On your horse, you like plot back down. And you see respectful stern lances and stabs hitting the ground as you do like a victory lap.

I really resist the urge to rip off my leggings and reveal the shorts, but I don't think Grim Dung would like that. So Hank has one his jousting thing. I would like to ride around to view Zerks fight. Okay, yeah, in case I can be useful. You can see his fight. That opening act is over. Now it's time for the main event.

Zerks go ahead and roll the D6. Four. Four. I can all the different numbers. Go ahead and roll an intelligent saving throw. You see, once again, lightning burst from this thing, but it turns into like a psychic tentacle and it tries to wrap around both of you guys.

Okay. He got a not one. He's grappled. Oh, yeah. Ha ha ha. Uh, I got a 26. 26, you pass. That is the battle major stern.

Battle major is not going to fuck around. Just going to throw a fourth level fireball at you Uh, go ahead and give me a deck saving throw zirke. You'll see who the devil of the dragon's is That's a nat 20 my friends the second nat 20 of the episode nat 20 passes So you're just gonna take half which will be halved again, right? Which will be halved again. Order 29 halved is 14. 14 halved is seven. Jesus, you only take seven, they have a sporting bond. Is a good spell.

Billy, you're- He bites her knuckles. Let's get a say, Billy, you're in the crowd. Just like, It's a good game out, baby. It was a good hustle. Well, Billy, I feel great. So I will say, Hank, unless you have anything you want to like slight of hand or do stealthily we'll just go right back around a

Zirk. Yeah, I'm just gonna I'm watching. I think a Zirk has tried a lot of stuff. It's time to make this motherfucker milk. Great. Let's go. I'm gonna cast a Melf's acid arrow. Sweet.

At a third level. Cool. So this is an attack roll sweet 15 15 just hits yes, I love my little triangles Force force force force nine plus my modifier which is five so 14 damage Zirk you were facing a glass cannon go ahead and finish Yes Yes, Cannon. Go ahead and finish him. Yes!

I was like, toss this like highly corrosive beaker at this mage. I said, go and join your spiny brethren. And I just blast it. And then I stand under the orb and let it's light shine down on me. I try to start another clap, but no one joins me. Yeah.

As Hank and Zirk both finish off their opponents, you see Isaac has also won his fight in the joust. Afterwards the Dragoons begin pounding their lances and staves on the ground to show their approval. All in perfect tandem just boom boom boom boom boom boom boom. I pound my Lance along You guys see Grimdung Walks up to the winners line to you guys up again and goes on your knee Yeah, you see Isaac gets down on his knee Zirk unzips his pants so that his fleshy knee can touch the ground. Grimdung pulls out a sword and goes, repeat, mudblood for the Lord's side.

My blood, my bloodblood's side. Yeah, we're gonna say it, my blood for the Lord's side. You see he gives you guys like a little cut on the cheek. Oh, it does a nighting motion, dabbing the blood on both your shoulders and goes Welcome to our elite order You are no grunts Report to the barracks for first assignment Sounds elite and Maybe drinks later sir Right. Yeah, just like when are you free? Uh, go ahead and give me your persuasion check

With advantage or advantage obviously. Yeah Fucking hell shout out to the two crew No, I'm a feeling I know what assignment. I'll be giving you great cool. I wish for the Hank to skeleton's go to the bathroom Is the real a train here? Can I catch Grim Dong on his way off? Yeah, you see Grim Dong is Walking off after telling these guys Grimmy You know those recruits were so helpful to me today Can I have it? I mean Lord'sife is fucking filming from what happens and I've got so many

Swords to fix and whatnot. Can I borrow those recruits I had earlier today? Grunts, you want to grow? They were so helpful. Go ahead and give me a persuasion check. Can I still use my perfume of bewitching? Certainly, yes. I bat my eye and lashes. be with it. Certainly yes. I bat my eye on lashes. Okay. Whoa. That is a 23. Good Lord. Yeah you see Grimdung looks bashful. I love it when you blush. It looks so good on your under face. Thank you. I like your smell good. Smell like a smell. You like that? I smell like a smell You like that I smell like the fold Gestures over to is it weird that I think I'm kind of attracted It's the sexual tension is really earnestly blushes

It's palpable Hank is gonna go over and talk to them, but then catches this and thinks better of it. Oh, never mind. It's weird, because we've like worked together so so long. Yeah, something just hit me. Hey, I think he's the first one we have to kill. Be wrong. Never to. You know, we can't make stuff, bitches.

Yeah, no, no, that's absolutely true. Absolutely true. Anyway, yeah, no, that's absolutely true. Absolutely true. Anyway, yeah, I just, yeah, I will. I'll hope you. Yeah. All right. Hey, it turns to you. I'm Hank and Sirk and I think goes like,

you're right. Bucksmith. Yeah. All right. Um, yeah. Sure, I guess. Yeah, no, you don't go to the berries. You go to damn Bucksmith, all right?

All right. All right. Yes, sir. All right. Yeah, sure I guess yeah, no go to you don't go to the berries you go to damn blacksmith Yes, sir And if I may speak freely I wish you would listen to your heart sir Billy absolutely blushes and it looks like metal turning to Melting so it's like an orange blush You see Grim Dong walk away looks like metal turning to a melting, so it's like an orange blush. You see, Grim Dong walks away. And he's like, something about how few words he says. You see, yeah, Isaac and Hank and Zirk walk over and they are now kind of fully under your command here, Billy.

Okay, I think I've only got you for like a night. So I think I'm just gonna like kind of like corral them, bring them in. First off, say, congratulations, we've scattered out there. No. Where are you guys? I, yes. Okay, Isaac.

What? I truly would have been fucked without this shield. So thank you for that. Oh, of course, yeah. Yeah, this wording bond was the only thing that kept me alive. Cool. Well, I think I corralled them, lead them towards my heart. I think I have to send a little message to Glog to say, like, we're in.

Tomorrow's on. Let's fucking do this. We're fucking getting into that fucking ball. And if there's any words left, could you say like zorkin saying hit zorkin Yeah, what do you want to say to your friends? Zorkin say hi. We're alive. Yeah, hi. Okay. How are life also from Henry and say hi. We're alive. That's just awkward enough. You are alive. That's crazy because that's really unusual down here. Oh yeah, did we mention that? Yeah, flesh and blood and the whole thing.

What's it like to just have a heart just loudly beating in your chest, blood rushing through your, is it like living in a water park? Tell you what, it's not all that's cracked up to be. It's kind of like a constant chemistry project. It's fun. You can adjust the balance of things. You can drink too much, drink too much coffee, drink too much water. You got a pee. It's a whole kind of balancing act. It's a mystery project, it's fun. You can adjust the balance of things, you can drink too much, drink too much coffee, you can drink too much water, you got a pee,

it's a whole kind of balancing act, it's great. Oh, you can be undead and drink coffee. In fact, come with me, I will show you, I've got French press. Right, so you guys have Billy lead to you guys back to the Smithy, Billy, you send this message, we're gonna cut back over to Fiya. Fiya, you've just had this long talk with Gorg,

and I'll say you guys are kind of patching up his wounds because he tells you that he's been imprisoned by the disciples for like 10 days. So he's like pretty messed up, so like you guys, I'll say. Why did they do to you when they're? You know, just beating beatings trying to get information out of me trying to break me down showing me propaganda just yeah just showing you really showed you movies sort of yeah projections fucked up yeah but he does, he pours you guys, you guys have like a drink, like one of these like funky, funky beers.

And after a bit, you guys receive a message on the sending stone from Billy, this message that Sirkin Hancker, okay, and that they are in. You see, Gloria looks up at you and goes, the inside team is secured, time for you to meet the guys on the outside. Okay.

And that's where we'll end our session. Oh! Wow, we look in there. We look in the outside. That's right. The outside guys. We got a heist going here, people. That's cool.

Yeah, it's coming up. So, you guys, thank you all so much for listening. You can hear us talk about this over on our short rest. Over on patreon.com slash nad pod. That's any DDP-TV. DDP, don't sing yet. I was so about to. Sorry, anybody have anything they'd like to plug? Oh, there's a new Jake and Amir episode out.

Red. Brand new. Check it out over at jacandamir.com. Check it out, guys. Oh, I would love to just quickly plug some stuff from our PO box. Cool, 1920, Hill or stab a new number 222 Loosefully, it's California 9000 27

How a lot of people send in in Wedding announcements, so I wanted to shout out some of those people because you know what love is a beautiful thing So big ups to these nubs here. We go Cassie and Ethan and green Bay Megan and Jacob and Connecticut Casey and Caroline and Vermont Ryan and Ethan and Green Bay, Megan and Jacob and Connecticut, Casey and Caroline and Vermont, Ryan and Mel and Missouri, Ian and Annelise and Wisconsin, Elizabeth and Matthew and Washington, Emily and Steven and Florida, and Tabitha and Jackson and North Carolina. Thank you all so much. Wow, love wins, I guess.

Cool. Thank you, all right. Thank you, all right. Everybody can grasp the registry. We want to contribute Yes, we'll be buying the most expensive thing on each of your registries so expect that soon We're buying all of you a king bed California King sweet guys. Thank you all so much for listening I you can follow us all on various social media that we may or may not use at see each one for me, at called these call dwell, at the Extras Emily and at Shake or Witches Jake and you can

tweet about the show using hashtagnadpod.com that's any DDPOD. We are we are, the youth of the nations, we are we are the youth of the nations, we are we are the youth of the nations, we are we are the youth of the nations, we are we are the youth of the nations, we are we are the youth of the nations, we are we are the youth of the nations, we are we are the youth of the nations, we are the youth of the nations, we are the youth of the nations, we are the youth of the nations, we are the youth of the nations, we are the youth of the nations, we are the youth of the nations, we are the youth of the nations, we are the youth of the nations, we are the youth of the nations, we are the youth of the nations, we are the youth of the nations, we are the youth of the nations, we are the youth of the nations, we are the youth of the nations, we are the youth of the nations, we are the youth of the nations, we are the youth of the nations, we are the youth of the nations, we are the youth of the nations, we are the youth of the nations, we are the youth of the nations, we are the youth of the nations, we are the youth of the nations, we are the youth of the youth of the nations, we are the youth of the nations, we are the youth of the nations, we are the youth of the youth of the nations, we are the youth of the youth of the nations, we are the youth of the nations, we are the youth of the nations, we are the youth of the nations, we are the youth of the youth of the nations, we are the youth of the youth of the nations, we are the youth of the youth of the show, my love, Liz, and you know what that means? It's time to shout out our benevolent counsel of elders, starting with Brad D. Jeffrey S. Holder Frostback, Steelbreaker, and Matt M. Dragoon recruits who chose the much less popular trial of the stomach where you compete in a high stakes beetle eating competition. Shank is furious that Henry didn't choose this option. Jordan DJ, Cutter W, Jive G, Dylan B, and Shoebbert the Mushroom.

Peekers who watched Fiya absolutely wrecked the Wyverns shit with momentary stasis. They should have called for help, but they were all in shock from how badass and move it was. Danielle the Dastardly Dame, Andrew M, Beardman Dan, Scott D, and Danny P, soldiers under Sergeant Grim Dung's command. They are all highly trained warriors who took an oath of silence, partially to aid their focus in battle, but mostly so they wouldn't be tempted to laugh at Grimdung's name. Mixologist Michael McD, Vincent W, Victor T. Boundor's boy, Andrew B, and Kevin S. Dragoons whose weapons were made by Brimstone Billy, they all feature Rodiron, Ribbon's, Steelflower petals, and no less than 12 inspirational quotes engraved in a elaborate cursive script. Attacking one of these dragon's involves a DC-20 wisdom check not to be distracted.

Just an eye. Ragnar Fared Wind. TJM the gnome barbarian. Elena M. and Trayla the cray-fay. Isaac's blood hunter buddies. Each of them has studied the blade. In fact, they all took some blade exam together and now run a pro bono blade firm in Endotera. If I need someone to represent me in a duel to the death, I know who I'm calling. Jared E. Austin Bonesaw MR. cyborg version of Josh the Cobalt, and Gage M. The makers of Barb Begon, the compound Zirk used to melt the Barb Devil.

It's also great for melting yetis, waterweards, and even normal people. Don't let the name fool you. It's just acid. King of City Pigeons, Richard X Machina, Michael L. Trash the Traveler and Sir Carl, Sergeant Grimdung's drinking buddies. Once after a long bender, they watched him perform a fully improvised one act play that brought everyone in the bar to tears. Jory S. Dana G. Calum L. and Jack L. Dragoons that ride, a type of Drake, known as the What Fern.

It's exactly like a Wyvern, but responds to every command with a loud, WHAT? Only the most patient and even tempered dragon's can tolerate these powerful yet extremely annoying beasts. Flaless Whale, Sam L, Nicholas C, and Samuel B, Endotera's ear, nose, and throat doctors, who spend most of their days wrestling beads of swagger out of noses. Mike H. Udishamurluk the baby bronze dragon, Matthew E. Colton B. and Adam G. A set of tattooed

cutlery that if Spoonie met they would run away with. Megan S. Nabajar, Panama James, Cummins the Bard and Adrian the Halfling Bard. The seamstresses behind battle pants. There are the reasons the drag goons are so intense about pants over shorts. Turns out calf coverage raises your AC by 2. Armor class, more like armor calf, thank you. Captain sigil, Grace G, Drew Nasty, Ce.C. Lulu, and Burnsinator. Inget's steel defender bug crew.

Grasjee is a beetle. Drunasty amelipid, C.C. Lulu's a worm, Captain sigil, and Ant and Bardsinator. Unfortunately, didn't get the memo and is an adorable Jack Resilterrier. Michelle O. Timmy R. Jonathan W. The Croc-Waring Warrior. Lucas B. and Aaron S. Joust-Leaders. They're like cheerleaders, but instead of cheerleading, they just quietly perform stone-faced basket-tosses and cartwheels. It's Kevin, hard ones horse-smeet. New York,

Steven C. and KJ. Teachers at Grimdung's Grumble, a school of romance that teaches aspiring romantics to Grumble their way into their crush's hearts. Michael M. Mike K. Karen J. Eccathor's 666 and Nick W. Peacers, who had the night off but still couldn't help but watch via sick parkour misty step off the side of a building. Whooo! Taylor A, Matthew R, Esme M, Kazumir the All-Knowing, and Big Bat, Bird of the Mad, the artist behind Dragun Tunes, the beloved animated children series that the End of Terror Gazette has referred to as Kid Friendly Reaper Propaganda. Eric McT, Giant Monsters on the Horizon. Thrath, Burley T, J. Dragonborn, and Joro the Ana Pro Pro.

Grimdung's Wingman. Not that that guy needs it. The grumbly psychopathic drill sergeant thing does it for everyone. Liam D, the San Drian, Ben A. Feldonis and Dave H. Inget's playmates. These unfortunate souls have been trapped in a metal web and Billy's forge, subsisting on Lava Limp,

Goulone. Koala Bear. Catherine S. David K. Christian S. And Dustin S. Scouts for medieval times who were impressed by Hank's performance, but fear

the joust to the death thing might not be right for their family dinner show. Keith K. Conor F. The Time Walker. Emilio D. Two Left Eyes and Big Bed John. Devils rights activists who are furious with Zirk for dispelling the barbed devil. Zirk's Twitter inbox is an absolute mess right now. My man has been dragged! DPC is awesome. Aston S. Blair the Fug Blair Barbarian. Pork Chop and Chanel M.

Grimdung's Exes. He used to be so boisterous and loving until these heartbreakers put him through the ringer. Valacy Raptor, Minette F. Pat L. Achoovae Lauren H. and David M. The Council in charge of the Dragoon dress code, Hanks request to allow shorts has been heard and they've responded, with they warrant for his prompt arrest and execution. Elias Hawthorne Alex H. The eldest Barry, Evan V, Ryan S, and the Bone Duster.

The creators of an Endotera YouTube channel dedicated to videos of jousters absolutely destroying each other and falling off their horse on every pass. Naturally, it has 5 billion subscribers. Robert Crisp, Idrasil, Brently C, Micah Bee, and Jim Bob X plays. The team inside the team on the inside, these sentient carbohydrates are going to power Billy and the crew with the power of macro nutrients. Ploups, Carlyan, Laurie P, Seth AJ, Spam, Gaming the not-so-skilled gamer, and Conor Savage. The owners of the weird store at the mall where Billy gets all her lava lamps, they also have smoke machines and glow in the dark posters of mushrooms.

Christopher J. Pebblepat, Logan S. Leviathan, Demi A. Bioquart 7, and Remington CD. Cheerleaders who saw Glorgh catch Fia and are now recruiting him to be a base on their squad. It would be fun, but he'd kind of be cheering for the Reaper. Tough decision, Glorgh. Amber Dexterous, Thrill of the Fright, Sill of the H, Everett P, Trobe Hop, Drop-Bur, and Sidney T, Dragun recruits who heard about the first calling and decided to go back to the arena and just do their own thing, filling up on Beatles and Beer, etc. Alex C, Jesse DLR, The Element God, Lindsay W. Champ Wilde, Valon, and Sprite Pepsi. Synchronized Swimmers who perform in the blue lava around the castle.

Every few shows someone melts, but it's just such a lucrative gig. Carl and C. Anthony S. Tristan C. The Loose Put Up To Scuse. Jake, Sessie A. and Matthew J. The only hippies and endotera who have found their home in Billies Fords with all its psychedelic lava lamps. That smoke isn't just from a fire folks. Scripps-Scripper Michael S. The Bone Duster. Noah. Wyatt B. A Stell. And Ghost. Professional eye readers enlisted by the Dragoons to seek out any traders in their midst. Fortunately for Hank, his bushy eyebrows obscured his true intention. Rogue Cree, Baron S. S. Weston's romance partner from the Baronies, Mr. Dude's Guy, conflicted

DM, Justin LB and Dandy. Tailgators from the arena who do all their grilling on a custom skewer set forged by Billy. The ironwork is so beautiful people often remark that they wish they could devour the skewer instead of their food. Jennifer R. Clifton A. Richard G. M. Barber. Marcus P. and Pupp Kalish. Rodeo clowns who help in the joust trial not by distracting the animals after the jousters hit the ground but by amping them up.

They play a lot of limp biscuit. Learns the balanced druid, Dakota JP, Pogos self-proclaimed fave prince, Tracy P, the Crick-Elf Librarian, Andy E. and a very big bed 91. Very cool zombies who wear matching necklaces made of dozens of beads of swagger. They're very stylish and also practical since the whole necklace can't go up your nose. Holly, Anthony A, Leah C, Timothy H, Egg, Swarth King 777 and Commodore Galaxy. Tattoo artists who saw the amazing nautical sleeve that Billy forged into Spoonie and instantly quit because they will never do anything nearly as fucking metal.

And that's it. That's us wrapping up our Council of Elders. We love y'all. You're so good to us. Goodbye my sweeties. That was a Hategum podcast. Council abouters, we love y'all. You're so good to us.

Goodbye, my sweeties. That was a Hate Gum podcast.