Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 100: Heart of the World (The Chosen Saga)
Episode Date: May 10, 2020CAMPAIGN FINALE!!! The Band of Boobs confront Thiala in a battle to save Bahumia! Hardwon fights selflessly, Bev goes fungal, and Moonshine keeps her promise. Support us at Patreon.com/N...addpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music/Sound Effects Include:"Small Forest Stream" by CraftCrest at Freesound.org."Conspiracy in the Clouds" by Emily Axford."The Writing on the Wall" by Emily Axford."Jolene the Green" by Emily Axford."Apotheosis" by Emily Axford."Paradise" by Emily Axford."A Memory" by Emily Axford."Demigod" by Emily Axford."Into the Fire" by Emily Axford."The Twinkling Lights of Galaderon" by Emily Axford."Alanis" by Emily Axford."Hardwon Takes the Wheel" by Emily Axford."The Blows of a Friend, Not a Foe" by Emily Axford."A Wizard Tournament" by Emily Axford."Greener Shades" by Emily Axford."Oh, Melora!" by Emily Axford."Torn Apart" by Emily Axford."One Big Bed" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This is a Headgun Podcast.
Hey everybody, it's Emily here to talk to you about Adam and Eve.
Who wants better sex?
And who wants to start having better sex immediately?
The best way to level up your sex game is to go to Adamaneeve.com right now.
Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item.
Plus free shipping, which includes rush shipping.
More than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy.
They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority.
Plus 100% free shipping with rush processing on your entire order.
Doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy,
all will be packaged and sent
discreetly. So don't wait, better sex is just a click away. That's 50% off one item,
free shipping with rush processing. Bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your bedroom.
Just go to Adamineve.com and select any one item. It could be an adventurous new toy or anything you desire. Just enter offer
code PAPA at checkout. That's www.atamineave.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to the podcast
so be sure to use the code PAPA to get your discount 100% free shipping and get it fast
with brush processing. Code P A W-W-P-A-W.
Goodbye, Sweeties.
Welcome to the campaign after the campaign.
This is not another D&D podcast.
Welcome back to Bahumia everyone.
Bahumia.
Bahumia. Bahumia.
Oh, yeah.
I'm your Dungeon Master, Brian Murphy joined one last time by Jake Hurwell.
Oh.
Ah.
Hard one.
I'm going to make me cry while I do my fucking intro.
Hard one, sure, foot.
And my dear wife, my partner in life, my partner creatively, Emily Axford.
Moonshot, I'm having a fungal queen and posse mother, earning a gold star with a bronze
beard lover.
Oh, very good.
I didn't know if I could get through it because you gave such a touching introduction.
And then my other podcast brother who started 8-bit book club with Emily and I, I saw
the pre-ordered.
You're laying it on, sir.
I'm laying it on thick.
We're getting into it, y'all.
That started at all, honors to have you here with me, Caldwell Tanner.
Beverly Toggle the fifth. As everything ends, I fight beside friends,
to save the world, and also Erlin.
Oh, very good.
Tirt is.
Not one last turn.
All right, come on guys.
One last. Let's play, okay, let's just play, huh?
I'm trying to feel nostalgic about this. You razz me.
I've a joke to hide the fact that I'm devastated.
Oh my goodness.
Of course, we're being melodramatic.
There will be another campaign.
We will be having Trinny Vale
and we'll be having a few things in between this
and, uh, can't be too.
I'm gonna get these.
We've got Trinny Vale and we've got
a whole new cast of characters that y'all are gonna meet
and that are gonna be total idiots.
That's right, we promise.
And who knows, they might have to play again in Bohemia because they might have to clean up the mess left by the band of boobs dead at the Alice feed.
No, no, no, we won't be cleaning up a mess.
We will be writing an injustice performed by a DM named Brian Murphy.
Right.
Okay, guys, you know what?
Let's go ahead and do a little recap, suppose we must.
So last week, you guys helped Balnor recover
from his brush with death and put him in bed
aboard the SS Stormborn.
You spent time with your friends and family in Glade Home.
Bev was visited in the night by his father, who possessed Balnor, then cursed his sword with necrotic energy for the
Thealophyte.
Munchine visited the Crick with Mima and learned a little bit more about the history of the
Druid's Timeless Body, before discovering the critters of the Crick safely hunkered
down inside the Grammotry.
Hard one was reunited with Kaka
then completely forgot about Kaka
as he ran off to party with his door of in brethren.
I'm glad this campaign's ending.
Later, hard one and moonshine got laid.
Wee!
Bapapapoo!
I just, honestly, just went to town on
so so graphic so much more graphic
than just having sex is going down
up so far for an hour.
An hour? No, no, no, no, no.
How long? Like, Jaina, you take your
time.
It got a day.
An hour is not taking your time.
Hey, moonshine, would you call that a selfless snack?
Oh, wow.
That's.
I would.
Thank you so much.
Very good, guys.
You sit in the mood, making sure it's nice and dour.
Yes, so hard one in moonshine got laid after Janna revealed a hidden attraction to moonshine
and hard one went off behind a tree with a dwarven barbarian named Chival.
And I'll never tell what happened in all the sex that we had behind the tree.
Meanwhile Beverly and his halfling friends attempted to goof scout master Denny only for it
to end with Bev and Denny falling out of a window and plummeting out of the city. Very tail ending.
Very tail ending.
After Bev and Scott Master Denny survived, Bev was gifted his advanced humor patch from Denny
and then was visited by Luna who informed him that she'd located the court of gods buried
in catacombs under what were once the Iron Deep Mountains. You reconvened then had one last, one big bed under the stars,
before being given a heroes farewell by Luconis and the rest of your friends around the city.
As the citizens of Gladehome cheered you on,
you took off on the stormborne out of the protective bubble into the storm and towards the court of gods,
towards theala.
And that's where we are now.
Whew!
So you guys are out amongst the wind and rain aboard the SS Stormborn.
The crew navigates the storm with the no-nonsense competence of people who have better things
to worry about.
When you were heading out into the cataclysm,
the first time, Nerman and the dwarves
were panicking a bit, but now,
as you head towards a literal god who wants to kill you,
a shipwreck would not be the worst thing in their eyes.
So you all travel through the wreckage
of the Iron Deep Mountains.
The cataclysm has shifted the old valley
and completely destroyed the road
that once connected the eastern and western sides of Bohemia.
It's now covered in rock and debris
from where the mountains collapsed in on themselves.
But you're able to follow Luna's coordinates on your map
and you eventually find the spot.
You guys lower your ship and see a top of hill of rocks
is a flag marking the entrance to the catacombs.
You guys are still up in the ship right now
with cordone and the dors.
What do you guys do?
Did Luna communicate to us precisely how long the trek to get inside is?
Luna told you that she was able to get into these kind of unnatural
catacombs but she got to a door that wouldn't allow her in.
I guess I'm just trying to figure out there's like a couple things that I would like to do
once we are
approaching the time that we feel that we may be about to fight the yola. Yeah, I'm trying to gauge
when I should pull the trigger on a few things. Yeah, I want to do a couple push ups just to get like a
pump going as we're going in. Yeah, that's essentially what I'm talking about. Flammer muscles.
That's really all.
You really got to gauge the pump before you.
Can we do a role to see if it's pump time?
Yeah, go ahead.
Traps and lats, quads, that's the point.
In sight to see if it's pump time.
They really does have foresight on him.
So literally everything he rolls today will be with advantage.
And everyone who rolls against him will have disadvantage
because his me, mom, moonshaw loves him very much.
Oh, thank you, sister.
I will go ahead and roll again
because I did get a three on my first roll.
Oh my God.
What a good use of that spell.
That's two, three's in a row.
Oh, good Lord.
Nido.
Get him out now, get him out now.
Bev jumps off the side of the ship.
Bev, with that kind of insight,
you know all the time is pump time.
All right, I like that philosophy.
Hey, I could have told you that, Bev, really.
But realistically, you guys can assume
you're not gonna jump into this whole
and instantly be attacked.
Like you probably have to travel a little bit.
If we're taking a little time to prep and pump and prep
and prompt, I would like to go
into the captain's quarters and do some last minute preparations on my own.
I drape a blanket over my oil paintings.
I was actually hoping it'd be okay if I use some of your art supplies, hard one.
Wow.
They're not mine.
They were left here by the previous captain, so have at it, Hoss.
Sure. Okay. What's his is mine, I suppose. Yeah, I go to town. I get a little
crafty while everyone else is making their preparations. With the plan to
rejoin everyone when it's time for one last inspiring speech.
Oh, that is true. I would say that in a time it took Moon Shion to pen to paper a new trend
for her and wrote little notes to everyone to put in pop-up, you know, in case anything
happens to her. But she doesn't do this obviously. It's like a little note to the con, it's
a little note to be more. In worst case event, but she doesn't do this in an ostentatious
way because she's not trying to put those sort of dark thoughts in other people's heads. It's contingency that. Are you giving it to Papa as like his
mission or are you just hiding it in his hair while he's like eating peanuts or something? Figure
like a little fold of fat or something like that I can kind of just show it in. Are you letting him
in on this though or are you just... I'm not letting him in on it? Hmm. A.C. Papa just furiously eating almonds
and
and just completely distracted.
It's just for me man.
One hand holding out slow dominance.
Maybe I like to walk them spores and just stick it to them.
I just glue it to his fur.
Yeah, you leave a bunch of notes for your friends and family.
Should anything happen to you in pop-offs for?
Actually, you know what?
Maybe I could, hey, pop-off real quick.
I guess I just rip them off and I just
stow them in the boat somewhere.
OK.
Yeah.
So I guess I just, like, I take pen to paper,
write a little note for me, Ma, write a little note for Lucana,
in the event of anything happened.
There's an empty cubby, there's a cubby in the captain's quarters that used to have my oil paintings and now it's free so.
You keep saying oil paintings but they're so watery, I thought they were watercolor for sure.
Well, we're suffering through the cataclysm right now so it's running a little bit.
Right, yeah. The oil and water don't mix unfortunately.
My main beef with the olives that she destroyed my art.
I guess I'll put the notes just in that little cubby.
Just, it's just a contingency.
As Moon Shine comes in and does that, because I'm in the captain's quarters, it's okay.
It's like I'm not here.
No, no, no.
I think we might kind of have the same idea.
Oh. And I hold up a sealed letter for Irland. Oh
Yeah, I mean do you want to put them in the contingency cubby with mine?
That seems like a good plan out of sight out of mine. I'm hoping it. I know
It's I know it seems like a dark move, but really I think it just gives us a little more courage in the battlefield.
Yeah, I think I need to leave some of this part of me behind if I'm gonna fight as bravely as we need to.
Yeah. Okay.
Well, I'll put mine in the contingency cubby and then leave Bev so that he can have, you know, some time.
Yeah. I put my letter to Erlin, which I hope that he never has to read.
And then I also write one last journal entry in Erlen's journal and I put that in there.
And I close up the contingency cubby and then I go rejoin the others.
Great.
I think Balnor is going to do the same thing.
Balnor writes a little letter, seals it away and puts it in the contingency cubby.
Whoa, who did that?
Oh shit.
Oh shit.
I don't know how to write,
but I'm gonna draw a quick little watercolor.
Pop-up can dictate to you.
If you ever pop-up can write for you.
He's an excellent scribe.
I mean, it's a misuse of a legal brilliant legal mind,
but he can scribe.
That's great.
I whisper in Pop-up's ear for five minutes.
And
say it.
Addictate a letter.
Papa helps you put a letter together.
He leans over your shoulder and shows you how to do all the different letters and
markings.
And a hard one.
You see your letter away in the contingency cubby.
And you see you see cordone cordone leans in and he goes,
did you want me to proofread these at all?
Yeah, these are deeply personal.
Okay, so no.
So no.
Just like a spell check or...
If you've got a good rhyme for the word love,
that would be pretty helpful in mind.
Okay. Do you want me to take a pass hard one? Yeah, sure.
Take a gander.
Some of these are stretches.
Some of these are slant rhymes.
You see, Cordone?
That's poetic license.
Cordone, carefully with a letter opener,
opens hard ones letter, and reads reads it and just nods respectfully.
As a fellow beat poet, I nod too.
Let's come so far.
Hey, hard one, you have for one last squat?
Yeah, and Bev, why don't you lead this workout?
Gladly.
Ooh, okay, I get it on that.
I get way too low every time.
Alright, really relaxed kid. This is really painful.
That's right. Tailbone to the floor. No, too much of a hip opener. Yeah, this is.
That was a bet. This is torture, man. Come on. Hard one shows us how to do the easier version
to get on the timbers. So you can get limber. Let's do this game. No modification.
Get on the timbers so you can get limber. Let's do this game. No modification.
Assa Wood means you're doing it good.
We need the modification, but give me the modification.
That was dying.
If you're hitting the planks, your glutes will say thanks.
Oh no.
Sorry.
Alright, hit the floor and you can do more.
Why don't we just start a left style brand huh?
She was just starting to gym.
Let's turn around right now and start a gym and a left style brand.
Now that we've had a really tough leg day, should we, should we go try to hunt down this God?
Yeah, thanks.
Yeah, I think before we go though, if it's all right, I'd like to
delete us all in one last speech, one last one last moment of preparation. If that's okay.
Okay. I take a knee like a football player. I take a knee as well. No dog in it y'all.
No dog in it. Okay. It's less of a speech in more of a song actually. It's a battle hymn written at the very end of the green tea in handbook.
And it's all right, I'd like to sing it for you.
It's more than all right.
Please.
Please do.
Kill your idols tear them down so that your heart grows stronger, or in the shadow of a crown, your light can
shine no longer.
So give your gold to those in need, your love to friends and mothers, or when their statues fall to dust,
we still will have each other.
Calu, Cala, this is the way our task is true and vital.
And so we must refore chart trust by killing all of our idols.
There's ten more verses and I sing all of them. I'm going ham on my woodblock turn out.
I'm the middle out. I'm selling garlic grilled cheeses in the parking lot Bounder is absolutely sobbing. He's got such a haunting boy voice
It makes me want to cry, but also I'm scared
I feel like I feel too. He's just alone in an abandoned church
Exactly what I was going for, Bounder. Thank you. I hope you feel someone inspired by this hymnol.
I do. I absolutely do. That was a beautiful rendition, young babe.
Thank you. Thank you.
You have so much more to give to this world than just pain,
but you are really good at delivering pain as well.
It's an honor.
That broke my heart, so you deliver pain in all the right ways, too.
Let's go break some more hearts, huh?
Specifically divine ones.
Divine ones?
All right.
We're the hounds, baby. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, in on it, Cordone hesitantly joins. Arth, arth, arth, arth, arth, arth.
There's hope for him yet.
Oh, Cordone, is Cordone intended to join us?
No, my lady.
You are a demigod.
I am a butler.
Yeah, I think that's it the best.
Yeah, I wanted to, I wanted to keep you out of harm's way
considering we enlisted your help.
I did not want to put you in harm's way.
Yes, but my lady, if you don't come out in, let's say,
16, 17 hours, I will fetch your bodies.
Thank you.
I feel like the all of might not give us the kindness
of leaving a body, but that's very optimistic.
Thank you.
I'll make sure your letters get where they're supposed to go.
Thank you.
Truly appreciate that. Bows deeply.
All right, Skippy, then you're off.
You see Nerman salutes you. All the door of salute you.
I salute them and I put the captain's hat on Nerman.
Oh, until I get back. Oh, I see.
Until I get back.
This is your ship.
He looks extremely proud.
And he gives you a predator handshake
and he pulls you in for a hug.
Hug him.
I also realize that I do have to put a fifth level spell
into Paw Paw.
So I'm going to put one of my spell slots into Paw Paw.
And you told me off mic that you don't want to tell me what it is. You want to just show me
I've been written down on a piece of paper. It's really not like a big surprise or anything.
I just I don't know. Yeah, it'll be more fun. I don't want to show you my hand. You got it.
Love it. Samoochine holds her hand over Paw Papa and fills him with some kind of energy. Oh wow,
he looks bloated. That must be a potent spell.
Yeah, just throws up some almonds.
Cool, let's get to it. Yeah. All right. I I kicked down the rope ladder.
Swede. Swede. Stormborn. Hard one. Kick the rope ladder over the side.
You guys all take care to go down carefully.
It is very rainy and windy, but you guys
are able to make it to the ground safely.
When you guys get down here and you see this flag that Luna
has left for you, you see that she has secured a javelin
here and sort of a
makeshift flag. It's not a real flag. You see she has taken her old chosen
tabard. The one she wore over her armor and she's fashioned it into a flag. The
white tabard flaps violently in the wind. Its edges look all frayed like they were
destroyed by the weather.
But you see a claw mark through the golden sword in the middle that looks quite intentional.
Wow.
You know, we may be Titans, but there's so many people in this world that are so much cooler
than us.
It's important to remember that.
We're here.
Yeah, she's just a damn werewolf with a redemption arc.
I mean, we're here.
I can't compare that.
Don't forget flying because that's a big part.
She does really important edge flies a lot.
As you guys are down here,
go ahead and give me a perception checks.
Oh, Murf, by the way, can we say that I summoned
Jaja last night?
Yes, of course.
Yes, of course.
Yes, of course.
29.
Yeah, 29. You other guys don't even need to roll.
Moonshine, you spot this right away.
You see that near the flag.
There is a clearing in the rubble.
A small tunnel that leads into darkness.
It looks like you need to crawl at first.
All right. I'm going to, I'm going to fungal form.
Okay. Just in case.
I got another one in case it's too soon.
But yeah, I guess let's y'all ready to get on your hands and knees.
I mean, where the?
Let's crawl.
Where the hounds.
That's what hounds do. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I think that I will go first and I'll go into a rage so I take half damage in case that
it gets dangerous.
Okay.
Does that feel good to people?
Yeah.
Cool.
I'll follow you.
As hard one's going in, I hold him back for a second and I pull out the tome of demons
and arch demons and I go to hand it to him, except that I've altered the cover to be a children's book
called Hard One Keep Swinging.
I thought this might be a little more your style.
What's it say?
You'll know in time.
There's like three words there, man.
I think that that that bough not.
He's just picked up on something, right?
I mean, the picture on the cover is amazing, Beverly.
Okay, thank you.
I know without knowing that you honor me,
and I appreciate your brother.
That's what's important here.
You know he honors you, man.
It's got like three words.
Then you say, I'm Boundar,
or if you're so fucking smart.
Hard one keeps swinging.
I weep openly.
Hard one keeps swinging. I, weep open. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha in what order? Yeah, so I mean my thought was I could go first because I can go into a rage and take half damage.
Okay, sweet. If there's like any falling rocks or anything unless anyone else will prefer to go first.
You lead the way. I think that's my- You know it's two half-ling sandwich huh?
The old half-ling sandwich. Hey Valnor, now we're the sandwich. Now what's the tuna? That's fun.
Tune in the middle, tune on the bottom, my favorite kind of sandwich.
That's fun. Tune in the middle, tune on the bottom,
my favorite kind of sandwich.
Hahaha.
Hahaha.
Gross.
Hahaha.
That's absolutely foul.
I talked about a tuna sandwich made with two tuna steaks.
Hahaha.
Can tuna in the middle, too.
Well, I guess so.
So if moonshines in the front, presumably bevasecond,
that hard one, then balnor.
So I figured that balnor was in the middle with me,
and hard one was, oh, oh, stubble stuff to tune a sandwich double stuff to the sandwich. Yeah, I stand by how absolutely disgusting but curious
I am about the all tune on the bottom can you guys don't like all tune on the bottom?
Yeah, you slather a little tartar on the bottom your hand gets all wet, but then the top of your mouth gets all ready
Now looking fun. Yeah, what kind of world are we trying to save?
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
We'll do the traditional Halfling sandwich.
Me and Bev will go in the middle.
Sounds good.
Sounds good.
OK.
Hard one brings up the rear.
And Moonchain is in the front.
So you guys crawl through the tunnel.
At first, there is a bit of rain water getting through the rocks,
but it becomes tightly packed enough as you keep going
that it no longer can get through.
As you crawl through the darkness,
moonshine go ahead and give me a perception check.
Papa scampering along next to you moonshine.
Yes, baby, 28.
28.
Oh my God. You have dark vision so you could see Shine? Yes, baby. 28. Oh my God.
You have dark vision, so you could see a little bit, but it's still very, very dark,
still hard for you to say.
You see you almost run into it.
You feel another javelin stuck in the rocks here.
And as you reach around beyond it, you see that the rocks give way to a pit.
There's a whole leading deeper into the earth.
It looks like Luna left a javelin here, so like you guys wouldn't fall face first in
there and give you like a moment to gather yourself.
Wow.
What an honor to trace those esteemed steps.
Y'all pit ahead.
Prepare accordingly. I shout at the top of my loss.
Everyone takes 10 psychic damage if your comes first.
Okay, falls in behind us.
Yeah.
Does it seem as though it's like a trap or does it seem as though we have to descend
into the pit?
It seems as though this is where you need to descend.
You see, in fact, Luna has left more of her tabards down here.
She's put like a stake into the side of the pit.
You see a white piece of cloth over the tunnel leading down.
I leave a thank you note.
Yeah, should we just y'all just want to grapple our way down?
Use ropes like spulunkers.
Yeah, or we could use the jawgeye elevator.
True.
That's right.
Oh, you're too.
I die all the time, but I'm here.
Oh, and earth, are you bidding in this cave?
I'm kind of a ghost.
Oh, dad, am I dead?
Well, I think that you are something special and unique and beautiful. Oh, thanks, dad. Absolutely my son
Now if you don't mind we all love to get on your back and play turtle elevator. All right
You see you see Jaja kind of goes through moonshine the spectral turtle
And begins floating down the pit.
All aboard.
Yeah, hop on. Sweet.
You guys hop on Jaja's back and you make your way deeper
and deeper down the pit.
This does not appear natural as you get lower.
It looks to be like a network of catacombs.
As you take the turtle elevator down,
the turtis elevator down,
you pass tunnels that are perpendicular to the pit,
but none of them feel right.
You feel called to go deeper.
Okay, I swear going though,
I am keeping an eye out for anyone
trying to like shoot an arrow at us.
Yeah, sweet.
That's good.
Just cuz.
Just like a unrelated skeleton warrior.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You see a side quest?
Hey, he follows us.
Yeah.
You see an angry looking mole man
with a little crossbow shakes as you guys go down.
Not talking out of the way with my hands.
Ah!
This is not your fight. Go home.
You can't just next week, okay?
I defend the mole city and I have a quest for you.
Sweetie, just like...
I'll be back to liberate the Moll City.
Don't you worry.
Hard one is just so serious.
Say that you are.
Hang tight, young hero.
Hard one just has so much reverence for critters.
Now we have to succeed.
As you guys, as you guys go lower,
none of these tunnels feel
right until you start to descend below one and down it you can see a dim blue
light. I mean can I just do like a straight-up insight check just to make
sure this a't a trap.
Can I do like an artichoke to be like,
what's that blue light?
Yeah, go ahead and do our con out or insight.
Blue.
That's a 20.
A 20.
As you look down the hall and see this dim blue light,
you see it flickers and there's a little bit
of blue script on the wall,
but you can't make it out from here.
Blue script.
All right, good thing I spent so much time in the library.
Let's get to reading again.
Hooray!
I whisper some epic final battle.
Yeah, I think just real cautiously approaching.
Sweet.
Yeah, you guys hop off Jojo.
Jojo begins hovering behind you.
And as you guys walk through the tunnel, you see the glowing blue script begins to appear
on the walls all around you.
And all at once you hear thousands of whispering voices,
sounding desperate. Everybody go ahead and give me wisdom saving throws.
With advantage because of heroes.
Heroes feast.
Heroes feast.
Still thinking about that breakfast.
Don't forget dad, plus six as well.
Oh, thank God I rolled really poorly.
Okay.
So my whizzed in.
So my whizzed in plus four?
No, and a D4 as well,
because of your dedication,
there are any.
Oh, because this is actually huge.
This is amazing.
I have zero to wisdom,
but with all of these buffs,
and I rolled high at the 27.
Wow.
31, and I only rolled a six. Oh my god.
Because I rolled a four, and I have plus 11 to wisdom,
because obviously I'm a druid.
And 27 for me.
Wow, great job, guys.
Good job, everyone.
And just so everybody at home knows the band of boobs,
now that they have part of a divine heart,
are able to exceed what a normal player would be able to do.
What a normal character would be able to do. what a normal character would be able to do.
So I believe Munchai now has plus six to wisdom
and Bev has plus six to charisma.
So you guys succeeding so wildly on your wisdom saving throws,
you kind of close your eyes and you try to concentrate,
hearing just this cacophony of whispers
and you begin to be able to make out what they're saying.
They're all saying different versions of the same thing.
You hear old people, young people, children?
Please, please let my family be safe.
I don't want to die.
Give them strength.
God bless our Titans and our hour of need. Protect
us Titans."
You realize that these are prayers about you or to you by people around Bohumia. You see
that the glowing script on the walls begins to make sense to you.
The writing is constantly changing to match the words of these prayers, depending on what language they're speaking.
And all signs point to this being the way to the court of gods.
It would make sense that gods would hear the pleas of their people as they went into decide their fate.
And here you, having a piece of this divine heart, are able to hear the people around
Bahumia and their faith in you.
Wow.
That's humbling.
Yeah.
That's...a lot.
Can we write back?
Uh, go ahead and give me a religion check!
Ah, 23. What do you write on the wall?
We are here. We are here for you.
You feel an overwhelming sense of relief. What you have just done is essentially somebody praying to God
and God coming back and being like, I'm here.
You hear the whispers come back in your head,
oh thank the gods, thank you Titans, thank you, protect us, we have faith in you.
Of course, gladly, yes, I'm like writing a lot of thank you notes now.
Don't overdo it. Don't overdo it.
Yeah, yeah, seriously, you know, be careful.
Sincerely, Beverly Toggle, the fifth. This is gonna take a while actually.
Oh, okay. Yeah. All right. Maybe we don't put our names in because that, you know, might have a stink of arrogance to it.
Seems rude to not sign it. You guys see light from the blue script floats down and circles around you and you guys
all get a d10 of inspiration. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, is intimidating. Is it, do we subtract a detour?
Yes, cutting words.
It's overwhelming.
You don't feel us though, we can only live up to it.
Do you guys think that the gods were scared when people look to them?
If they weren't, then they weren't doing it right.
Yeah.
Bel know our nods.
I don't know what's gonna happen after this, but this doesn't seem like the responsibility
that I want or that we deserve, but that's a conversation for another day.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Let's use what we have
and do what we need to do.
Alright, well, it was good that you gave those people some comfort, Bev.
I think a lot of people are reaching out right now.
Yeah, it's just, you know,
it's nice to be nice.
Where's to live by?
Hey, Dad, that's true.
Shall we keep going.
Yeah.
Does this look like we're leading into another tunnel?
No, it looks like this tunnel leads to a doorway.
All right.
I was wondering if you all thought that this might be the kind of fact
that we blow our little horn for.
I would love to see those guys one more time.
OK. I've missed the sound those guys one more time. Okay.
I missed the sound of that horn.
Yeah, then I guess I want to do like kind of a quiet,
sort of a piano blow, just like kind of quiet.
So I'm just, you pull out the horn of a holla,
I choose this, the teeniest.
Just a two.
I like the hard one.
That wasn't me.
Go ahead and roll for your berserkers.
Okay, we got six.
We got six berserkers.
What kind of pirates would you like?
I believe you guys have had frost dwarf pirates in the past
and just regular pirates.
I was thinking that I'm my cast animal shapes on them.
Okay.
Do you hate this, Merv?
No, this is crazy.
Okay, so Merv, here's what I like to do.
I would like to blow the horn of Vahala,
bring out these berserkers.
Then I would like to, on the thinking cap,
cast conjure woodland creatures and conjure eight pixies.
I'd like to put four of them in the bag of holding and then use four of them to cast fly on four of the berserkers which
then I will cast animal shapes using my own concentration to turn them into
elephants. We can go into battle on flying elephants. Just let me know if you
want to leave me. Good Lord. Oh, that's insane.
But I've looked up in the monster manual.
I've got ghosts here because technically the horn of Valhalla
has spirits that come out.
It doesn't say anything about condition,
immunity is about it not being able to change its shape
so you can change it to an elephant.
And the language of animal shapes is you change a willing
creature and from what I saw online ghosts are creatures. Great. And these are
Berserker stats anyway so I can make a ruling that it was Berserker stats.
Simunshine, you conjure woodland animals, you make pixies appear. For the pixies in the bag holding.
Okay.
Then four of them cast fly on a rolled for it.
We have six berserkers.
So two of them are just normal elephants.
And then four of them are flying elephant.
Okay, great.
So you've got six elephants with you.
I get off a normal elephant onto a flying one.
They are, I mean, I guess they're spirits,
but right now they fill up like the entire hall.
Are they tangible?
Like, could we climb on them if we wanted to?
Yeah, they can attack and stuff.
So yeah, they can climb on top of them if need be.
I'm on one, don't worry.
Don't worry, I'm on it.
So you guys have these elephants. I'll say that you can't climb on top of them if need be. I'm on one, don't worry. Yep, I'm on it. So you guys have these elephants.
I'll say that you can't climb on them
until you get to a bigger room.
But you can imagine the gods were bigger than what you guys were.
Like this tunnel is very, very big,
but the elephants are like pushing it
a little bit like they're all the way at the edge,
like not super, super comfortable
and just kind of walking along behind you guys.
Are they wearing little pirate outfits?
That some of them do have little bandanas on?
So good.
Yeah.
This is like when you are in a cutscene in a video game
and you're choosing, you chose the stupidest outfit option.
Yeah. I was just making it the angels are gonna be flying.
No, this is good. Thank you, Mochina.
Energy I want. You know how much I love creatures.
Oh, that's true. Maybe I don't give one to hard one.
Bound the War Hop on, don't be shy.
Alright. Okay.
Is it halfling on an elephant?
Game of Thrones finale did not deliver elephants, but we did.
So you guys continue down the hall.
I want to call my dwarf daddies as we're walking down the hall.
Okay.
Oh, all right.
We ready for how the body man, we already win this one.
They're just I know at this point, it's bad man.
It's bad news, but hey, look, there's ghost elephants.
So, you're not bad.
That's incredible.
They're terrified of elephants.
Let's get that thing away from me, man.
Come on, it's awesome.
What do I get?
It's really cool.
Freakin' wooly man, without any hair, man, it's weird.
I don't like him.
They're ring pants, it's fine. It'll make like him. They're wearing pants, it's fine.
It'll make sense in a few minutes.
All right, God, it's.
So you guys continue down the hall,
and when you get to the end of the hall,
you see an ornate door made of white marble
with intricate gold carvings.
You see an image of a tree with 20 branches
that extend out into symbols of the original deities.
Some you recognize, some long forgotten.
I definitely look for a Melora.
Yeah, I was going to look for a Melora.
A Melora is there.
You see a symbol of a sunburst.
You do not see Melora there, Moonshine.
Wow.
She's the new class.
Can I carve in a little Malora?
Moonshine, as you touch it, you see the door
begins to light up blue.
You see that some lines in the tree, light up with blue
and light up some of the symbols across the tree.
Ooh, hands in my fellow Titan.
You guys all put your hands in.
Hell yeah, get them in.
And you see that the tree carving glows blue.
The same magical glow is the script on the walls.
And finally, after you've all touched it,
the entire tree glows and the door slide open
revealing the court of gods.
Wow, the most exclusive club.
You have to be a deity to get in.
You have to have at least one-fifteenth of a divine heart to be there.
I think these elephants are underdressed.
You guys go past the doors, you enter this quote unquote room, but it is not part
of the cave at all. It is an endless sea of stars. Dark space, bright stars, is this
a pocket plane? Is it heaven? Or is it just how the gods see us as distant specks of dust?
You guys levitate as you walk in, staying safely at the same level as if there
were an invisible floor beneath you. Oh, so we didn't even need flying elephants.
We'll see. Yes, yes we do. They'll come in handy.
I'm still on my elephant.
The elephants that aren't flying are really pushing the limits of this levitate and are
like starting to sink a little bit.
Think light, think light.
This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs.
They're a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall in the age
old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered.
Now we all know when the legwear war begins and we're forced to choose a side, it's
gonna be difficult.
Luckily Bird Dogs has made the decision of which pants and shorts to buy a little easier.
Bird Dogs stretchy khakis are designed to fit slimmer through the thigh and leg to give
you a truly sculpted look.
And instead of making their clothes out of restricting cotton, Bird Dog's invented
a cloud knit fabric that looks just like khaki, but stretches so you get a way slimmer fit
without having to sacrifice movement.
And trust me, you are going to need all the movement you can get when you and your brothers
and legs are out there on the battlefield kicking the shit out of your rivals.
So when the lower body battle begins and brother is forced to kick brother, make sure you are
wearing bird dogs.
To get yours and a free Yeti style tumbler, go to birddogs.com slash pop-off or enter promo
code pop-off at checkout.
That's birddogs.com slash pop-off or promo code promo code Papa for a free Yeti style Tumblr.
You won't want to take your bird dogs off, we promise you.
Okay, that's it for me, go team pants and enjoy the show.
Um, BSC amongst the ocean of stars, there are stairs going up to a white marble platform,
and on the platform are 19 grand thrones
that look like they could see giants,
like the door that you took to the strange place,
the thrones are all lined with gold,
and suddenly you guys hear a voice booming from above you.
Ah, my fellow gods of the material plane, court, is finally in session.
You see, from space above you, theala floats down, sitting in a throne that dwarfs the others in grandeur, while the others are uniform, the
back of this one features the elaborate symbols of each of the primordials.
You know from what Lunatul did, that back when they walked Bahumia, the gods would take
turns sitting on this great throne as they led the others, now the alas sits on it,
God of gods. The last time you
guys saw her, when she caused the cataclysm, she looked almost alien with glowing radiant skin.
Now she looks like the first time you saw her. Just like a powerful human, she wears white
plates with the long golden sword of the chosen in the middle of her breast plate.
She's got long blonde hair, two great swords at her side.
The only thing special about her are two yellow gems socketed into her head above each
of her eyes.
And you see she's wearing another gem around her neck. I mean, I'm assuming I don't even have to roll our con.
It'd be like the gems in her head are Alonus and Ulfgar and the gem that she's wearing is Irland.
You can tell right off the bat, you can sense that.
You know he'd look better as a belly chain.
Her throne slowly descends and settles amongst the others on the platform.
And you see, she motions towards the other chairs.
Go on, take a seat.
This is the first time in millions of years that God's met here, and we have much to discuss the fate of the world itself.
I do a lot of discussion standing up, so we can just get straight to that.
I don't need to rest my cheeks.
Yeah, we did do a lot of squats earlier, but we're still fresh.
I look at Balnor.
You see, Balnor was already sitting, but then just pops back up.
Yeah, our legs aren't sore at all.
Now we're good, we're good.
We did the regular version and not the modified one. And we're okay with that.
I nod really hard.
We did the cheeks to the streets version.
See, she nods and she goes, I understand why you hesitate.
We all know where this is leading, but I'd like to take you somewhere.
To Elysium, the former domain of Polor.
You would take me?
To the sight of his murder?
Were you broke?
The foundation of light that made me who I am?
Fine, take us.
Show me what you did.
Only if my elephants can come. They're with us. My God, you brought a small army. I guess I should be
flattered. Your smile is a big service. I'm just saying, only if my elephants can come is sort of a
creed I'll live by. Right. Beverly, to your point, I am not the first God to kill another look around you.
You see, she gestures to the symbols on the back of her throne.
Aren't there a few here that you don't recognize?
Do you think Polora's hands were clean?
Of course not.
You don't get to this council with clean hands. I know that. I
may be young, but I know that. Although I will say just for the record, we've done a lot
of unclean things, but the divinity in us was gifted to us, so there is another way to get a divine heart. There is another way to get one ninth of a divine heart, maybe.
Isn't that enough?
Seems like plenty to us.
We'll see.
You see the Allah waves her hand, and the court of God's
is transported to Elysium. The starry sky
changes to a heavenly abyss, blue skies, white fluffy clouds. You hear the sounds of
wildlife and feel an overwhelming sense of peace. You hover over a gorgeous floating island,
teeming with life. Colorful parakeets, perch and trees, bearing delicious fruits,
animals, frolic, powerful bucks, and beautiful doves bouncing through the fields.
You see thousands of humanoids as well. Thealis followers, the people who bent the knee.
thousands of humanoids as well. The Alice followers, the people who bent the knee. They play games, they splash in the clear water, they soak up the eternal sun. You feel joy, a buzz of happiness,
just being here, but you are brought to the reality of the situation when you can spot in the distance the wreckage of Polores floating pleasure
yacht in the sky.
It's just like in the stories.
You see, the Aala gestures to the floating islands below.
This is it.
Some might call it heaven, but it isn't truly.
Like a flower in a vase, it is beautiful, but it will not grow.
People don't age here, they don't procreate, it is a paradise frozen in time.
So it is not a paradise at all.
But what if we could take this?
A life without lies, murder, thievery, and bring it to a place where life can begin.
So you're saying that I believe that the reason that it is the paradise you believe it is,
which by the way, anything can a lot of things can look
like a paradise from an aerial view.
But...
All it takes is light.
Yeah.
Yeah, you got nice lighting.
Kudos.
You put a nice fucking filter on this shit.
Fucking kudos.
Valencia, very forgiving.
You see, if you angels nearby are making the light look really good on the
island. Look at that bounce. But here's the thing. Yeah, part of it is because it's frozen
in time. What about when you subject it to the vicissitudes of life? You think it's not
going to change or warp. You think it won't need maintenance? You think it won't have weeds that grow?
I think that's why we need a strong hand.
Listen, I know what I'm doing is wrong.
Oh, great. Good. Stop.
But, but I am willing to be a martyr for this cause.
One last sin to rid the world of murderers, criminals, thieves,
and liars. I can cleanse the souls of Bahumia and save them. We can bring heaven to earth.
You can sit on my counsel and advise me like the gods once did.
I mean, you realize the second that you subject these people to
You realize the second that you subject these people to life lived on a timeline and they see people they love died and they see people they love not want to be with them and they
procreate or can't procreate or all the other difficulties that come with life like that
is where a lot of cruelty will crop up and by pampering them
You're not preparing them for that experience. You can't just
Sin one time and expect everything to be perfect forever
Not to mention the way that you recruited people for this little
You know adult summer camp you got going on. The way you recruited them was literally
by choosing the cowards.
The people who are here are the greatest cowards.
You're not starting with the best stock.
The people who are heroic, the people who care,
the people who are individuals,
they're back on Bohumia.
You see, when you call her followers cowards,
you see she lets down the sort of blase, godly,
high horse thing, and she sneers, and she goes, you call us cowards.
Polore had the power to end evil, but shows not to.
All I'm saying is you're showing me this pretty pastoral picture, but personally, I wouldn't want to live here.
Plore couldn't have ended evil. It's foolish to think you can.
Evil always grows in. A garden must be pruned. It must be cared for.
What you're trying to end is freedom. You want to lock everybody up so the world can stay perfect.
What I want to do is exactly what Beverly's saying.
I want to prune the world.
Right, so you want a fancy little topiary in your backyard that you could say,
look, look how neat and nice that is.
But I'll tell you what, what I want is not that.
What I want is a fucking garden overgrown.
I want to see what nature has to offer.
You want chaos free.
You want chaos.
Yeah, we want chaos.
You can't hurt us.
Yeah, we do want a little chaos.
You can weed sometimes, but sometimes,
one of the weeds that shows up is kind of fucking dope
and so you keep it in there.
I got some fucking ivy.
That's an invasive species and that shit is beautiful.
You leave flowers in a garden, they stay the same.
But when you let them grow free, that's how you get wild flowers.
Yeah.
And their beautiful is shit.
I think the real difference is, is you think this is your story and we think this is our story.
Not our as in the five of us, yes I'm including Papa, but I mean our as in
everyone's story. So it doesn't, it's not one gardener, it's a bunch of fucking gardeners.
You're all young, you think you have all the answers? No actually, I think that we don't have any
of the answers and neither do you. I know how your story ends. The Wheel of Suffering turns over
and over again.
You see she raises her hand and the platform leaves Elysium and enters a strange Plain-Arvore
text.
You are hurtle through orange and black matter swirling around you.
Eventually the matter around you takes the image of different periods of Bohomia's
history.
Your story has been told before and it ends the same way every time.
You see Elias Stormborn standing triumphantly at the head of the SS Stormborn with Lydia,
Red and Gunther.
They look happy, excited, another adventure on the horizon.
It flashes forward to Elias insisting to stay behind to fight Galadon the Chosen, forcing Red and Lydia to abandon him to protect hard one,
breaking the party, and their family. You see Mima, Cobb and Maribel adventuring together
in the living wood. Cobb and Maribel infatuated with each other, and Mima just infatuated with
life itself, a big smile spreads across her face, as she rushes up and hugs a triant.
That whisks her up in its massive branches, flash to Mimo standing desperately trying to heal the same triant,
covered in crick-rott weeping as a corrupted Maribel attacks the crick. Cobb tries to plead with her,
but she lashes out a poisonous pseudopod that takes out one of his eyes.
You see flashes of the same thing happening over and over, heartbreak, tragedy, betrayal,
Mishka and some of the other folks of Moonstone come together to fight Shadowfangen or wiped out.
Erdan is attacked by his own parents.
Luconus is shunned by the high Elven nobles for trying to get the elves involved in the war against Osmodius.
Finally, you see Ulfgar, Alonus and Theala in the Hungary Trout tavern. The
same place where you all met in Moonstone. Ulfgar drinks an el while Alonus puffs on her
pipe. Theala tentatively takes a sip of el before laughing and joining in on the revelry.
You see them defeating the dragon shadowfang, rallying the troops in battle against Osmodeus'
forces, traveling to hell and defeating Osmodeus himself.
During the battle you see Alonus's hurt and the ally heals her, she shields an unconscious
off-car from a spray of fire from the devil's attack.
Through it all, I healed them, While Ulfgar delighted in taking lives, and Alonus
manipulated the fabric of reality to suit her cause, I healed them. Now we have a problem
with it because I'm taking lives. How many lives is Ulfgar taken, with Glee, with bloodlust?
How many lives of you taken? Points to hard one. Hey, I never, I would never harm an animal.
If that's what you're...
That just makes me think you've harmed animals.
All you did, all you did just now was show us how great life is.
Thanks for showing us the old, the old clip of Mima and, and, and, and, and, and,
and God, that was great. a my parents together ain't that beautiful
There's highs and there's lows and that's what makes life worth living. That's what makes it good
I'm glad you were happy once
But your problem is that you don't know how to let go
You see the slightest twitch in her eyes
Not of anger just of like a brief sadness, and that she
steals herself and she goes, so the wheel of suffering continues.
So does the wheelage. One more turn. The Ella draws her swords. As you hurdle
through space, you see two spectral angels covered in chains with sides
arise from behind you and vacant thrones.
Everyone go ahead and roll initiative.
Wow.
See the fact that y'all angels have chains on them,
that should be telling.
Oh, you look at them.
These look like they might have at some point been
like Polores Guardians or something.
These don't look like Chosen Angels.
These look like Trapped Angels.
Oh, those are Polores Cabin boys these don't look like chosen angels these look like trapped angels. Oh those are Polores cabin boys
17 for me that's a 23 that's going to be a five for me
Okay, we are gonna say moonshine all of your critters are just gonna go on your turn because otherwise it would be way way too
complicated and we want to get into it
Hard one you're up first you see the goddess theala pulls out her two great swords, two angels with sides come
up to strike you guys from behind.
Angels, if they are angels, he has antipathy.
They are not going for hard one.
They're going to go for the other people.
Okay, but just letting you know if they're within 60 feet of him.
The Enchantment causes creatures of the kind you designated to feel an intense urge to leave the area and
Avoid the target. When such a creature can see the target or comes within 60 feet of it the creature must succeed a wisdom saving throw or become
Frightened. The creature remains frightened while it can see the target or is within 60 feet of it. While frightened by the target the creature must use its movement to move to the nearest safe spot from which it can't see the target.
Cool.
They will roll wisdom saves on their turn.
Okay.
I'm going to try to duck these angels and swing my hammer right at the olive.
Sweet.
I'm going to use great weapons master and minus five to see if I can.
At ten.
You've got to attack her recklessly.
Oh my God.
Hard one, devil may care, charging after her.
That's a 27 to hit.
She is going to go ahead and use a reaction.
She's going to parry.
You see she gets her sword up and is gonna block you.
Her AC is now 29, so she blocks it.
Whew, got it.
Okay, well I've got three more attacks.
Go for it, go.
So I'll do that
That's a crit baby
Used it on that one
So I'm gonna roll the extra attack right now cool
That's a 26 to hit that doesn't hit I guess that does the reaction just for one attack. It's not like shield
Okay, then I'm gonna attack again. That's a 23 to hit.
That hits. That is another crit. That's not 20 baby.
Good God.
Tell you.
So this is my final attack. Got it.
25 to hit.
Does hit?
Okay, and I'm going to action surge.
Oh, good God!
Get going.
At the end of this, will you tell us exactly how much damage you did total?
That is the plan.
That's a 23 to hit.
That hits?
Okay, so now I think for the final three attacks, I'm just gonna use the great weapons master on every single one.
Great.
Mmm.
That's another nat 20.
Good God.
Wow, we.
So we're just going to add up the damage at the end.
So yeah, you guys see what happens is hard one goes up, swings recklessly at her.
She gets her two great swords up and blocks in kind of like a display of power.
It makes her too slow and hard one just swings around, magical power of the dwarf daddy's
making him unnaturally fast and he wham, wham, wham!
In the ribs, both sides.
And that elephant too, don't forget the elephant.
Yeah, I am on an elephant.
I wrote into battle standing on the elephant.
Does it 22 hit?
22 does hit.
God damn, that's another crit.
That's a 19.
That's insane.
And a 23, which also hits.
And I did the extra 10 on each of those two.
So that is 297 damage. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, morning at Moonshine. I'm still thinking about that goddamn breakfast.
You gotta touch the floor, it's all I'm saying.
You go toe to toe with this God
and deal a crushing blow to her breastplate
and you see it actually knocks her back
and you see a little bit of blood
trickles out of her mouth and she smiles.
Not bad.
Not enough divine hearts, huh?
And now my dwarf daddy's actually get to go.
Hard one.
The dwarf daddy's swing into her.
You see it does not affect her.
She's immune to radiant damage.
Sweet.
So they're just tier for moral support.
That's right.
Great swing.
Great form.
Use your hips, buddy.
You know what? Words of affirmation is my love language, so I appreciate it.
Sweet, so end of your turn, she is going to use two legendary actions to cast a spell.
She is going to do just a third level dispel magic, so it will...
Uh, counter spell.
Okay, fuck yeah.
Yeah, sorry.
Damn, you don't deserve to sit in that chair.
Moonshan counter spells.
You see, she smiles.
That is the allis turn.
She holds her hands up, and she goes,
normally I don't tolerate failure, but I know how he annoys you so
She's gonna cast a ninth-level true resurrection
Come to me
Galadro Zell
You hear a distant
Strike true No! You hear a distant strike.
True.
Honestly, Theo, I'm fucking glad I,
counterspelled the other one because I'm fucking glad
to kill this dude again.
Yeah, one more head for our collection.
You've made a huge mistake.
You gotta see glad appears.
What a person to cast true resurrection on.
Do you realize what a broken spell that is
and you brought back Galadiron?
He's the white, he's the white rose of Galatoron.
You see Galadiron's else shows up in his gleaming armor,
looking like he did in Galatoron.
Beautiful, looks like a replica of Rosaline essentially.
Looks like the same of Rosaline essentially looks like the same as Rosaline
He's brought back like as he was in
El form shows up golden yellow hair
My goddess it is so such an honor to get to serve you for the light
Just do not fail me this time. He doesn't annoy you
Just do not fail me this time. He doesn't annoy you.
A sure a little bit.
Maybe he's fine. Glad is fine.
I'm fine.
The God is the ex I'm fine.
And I thought I'd disagree with you about how to govern the world.
But I mean this, this, we really can't meet anywhere close to the middle of it.
A lot of other important people that have died.
This seems like maybe a slight waste of the spell.
And you would probably know, Moonshine,
that that spell is supposed to take an hour to cast,
so the oldest power is immense.
And that is actually her layer action.
You guys see the moving images in this void
begin to spin in a hypnotic rhythm. You begin to lose your bearings.
It's difficult to stay standing.
And hard one, you briefly lose consciousness.
You open your eyes after a moment.
You're in a house.
Is the fight over? No. It's only just begun.
You hear stampeding feet and shouts from outside. They're coming here. To the house, this
is your house. You need to defend your honor, your family's honor. You grab your axe and
catch a glimpse of yourself in the reflection. It looks like you, and yet, something is different?
Darker hair, maybe? No, it is you. This is how you look. You must be going crazy.
You hear the soldiers approaching from the outside. You wait a beat?
After you hear a commander call for them to charge the door? You swing the door open as the first
night goes to ram their shoulder through it. The momentum drives them into the room. You swing the door open as the first night goes to ram their shoulder through it, the momentum drives them into the room, you swing your axe and plant it in the back
of their head, that's one. A line of them charge in, but a few of them are nervous. They
don't surround you quick enough. The braver ones are the first to go down. You almost respect
them. As the rest of their allies shoulder their way in, you see him.
The commander.
That sniveling weasel, Galad Rosel.
He really needs to blow his nose just like one time.
Take care of that deviated septum.
The knights begin to overwhelm you.
Cut a sharp pain, stab something broken broken, cut, seeing red now.
The tunnel vision sets in.
Gotta do this now.
If you can take him with you, this will all be worth it, right?
You charge past the soldiers, letting out a primal scream
that burns your throat.
They get a few more shots in, but you get what you wanted.
You're within swinging distance of glad.
He wasn't expecting this.
You swing your axe with a speed and might of one of Cords' champions, he barely gets
his great sword up in time.
What was it called again?
Rosie?
Who names a fucking sword?
You reign blows down on Galad.
He is on the defense.
He's trying not to get hurt, but you are trying to kill him and advantage maybe?
No. Each time you
swing, he blocks with that damned sword. You heave and grunt. Bloodloss getting to you
now. His allies are closing in. Tunnel vision. You're slowing down. One night swings their
sword and slashes a tendon in your leg. You shudder and fall to a knee. The last thing
you see is Gladrozelle plunge his stupid sword into your knee. The last thing you see is Galaderozel plunge his stupid sword
into your chest. The last words you hear are...
Strike true!
And then it all turns inward. You didn't win, but you bought them some time, didn't you?
You have regrets in these final moments. You regret that you'll never get to know
your son, but more so, you regret that he won't
remember you, and you know that makes you a bad person.
You hear the Allah's voice.
And this is how the great captain stormborn dies, without a crew alone.
Go ahead and give me an intelligent saving throw.
God dammit.
I've got 16, so I'm going to use the Barty Conspiration. Go ahead and give me an intelligent saving throw. God dammit.
I've got 16, so I'm gonna use the bardic inspiration. Okay.
That's an eight, so that's 24.
Ooh, that is still a fail.
Oh god dammit.
Hard one, you take 69 psychic damage.
Epic, what's it?
Love that for you.
You feel as if you were actually just stabbed in the chest and when you flash back to your
body, you feel as if there's an actual wound there and you heav for a moment as you stand
toe-to-toe with the other.
Oh, thanks for the reminder of how bad I want to fucking kill you guys.
Let's get him, let's get him together by my goddess.
I'll attack from the back.
See, you complained about me making fun of your followers, but...
He is not the end-all-be-all of chosen followers.
Yeah, that's right, up whenever you want my goddess.
I'm a little dog.
I'm a stupid little dog.
We met a bunch of them, honestly.
Yeah.
Yeah, there's a lot of embarrassing flavors
of chosen out there.
That is actually on an initiative 18,
Boundor's turn.
Boundor is going to go up and I guess he'll take some cracks
at some angels because they are near him
right now. So there's two angels, Gladrozelle and Theolano. Correct. Cool. He takes
three attacks. He hits twice. Balnor does 30 damage to one of the angels. There we go.
That look pretty scared of hard one right now. They both whisper to each other and
keep motioning over towards hard one
It just looks like they're afraid of the hammer as they should be at the end of
Balnor's turn
She is going to use two legendary actions and once again cast to spell magic on
Hard one on antipathy to get rid of that you know what though you need to fucking roll
Yeah, that's the ninth level right? That's what, though, you need to fucking roll. Oh, yeah, that's a ninth level, right?
That's an eighth level.
So you need to roll.
I wish I was in there so that I could keep you honest.
You can come here and look if you want.
I feel like I should, right?
Should I go?
Go take a few.
And get up real quick.
Pick behind the screen.
She's a plus 10 to this.
20.
I'm glad Emily saw it. At least. Yeah. You know Ugh, I'm glad I definitely saw it.
You know what, you still had a fucking waste of turn doing that, so.
Damn right, true enough, that's a slot.
Lots of slot.
Moonshine, that is your turn.
Okay, four of the pixies that weren't in the bag
are gonna go invisible and go in the bag.
Okay.
The pixies that are in the bag are gonna hold their turn.
Okay. They're gonna hold their turn. Okay, they're gonna hold their action
I think I just want to make sure that all the damage that hard one does sticks and all the damage that Bev
I'm sure is gonna do sticks so I'm going to
Chill touch. It's just a can trip
But it means that she can't regain hit points.
Wow. Until the end of my next turn.
Okay.
I'm gonna chill touch her. Try to chill touch her.
Okay.
Does a 25 hit?
Yes, it does.
She takes 22 necrotic damage, and now she can't heal.
She can't heal.
She can't regain hit points until the start of my next turn.
You see it looked like she's got Irlin
as a necklace around her neck, the gem.
You see it was glowing.
It looks like she may be using it as a holy symbol.
You see that as you do chill touch,
that the glow around it starts to dull,
and you see she looks furious.
Isn't it funny, you come all the way to the top,
and it just leads you right back down to the bottom, huh?
Uh-huh, great turn, moonshine, careful with that gym.
Right.
Wait, oh wait, it looks like I hurt, Irland.
No, no, no, no, not at all.
And now all six elephants are gonna go. Good God.
So they are going to trampling charge
since the antipathy was dispelled
and Boundor did some damage.
They're going to trampling charge
this, the angel that Boundor hurt.
Okay.
Does a 23 hit?
Yes. 18 damage and he needs to do a DC 12 strength saving throw.
They pass 19.
Okay, next one's going to come after you.
Does a 15 hit?
15 does not hit.
Okay, next one is also going to miss.
Does a 21 hit?
Yes. Once again, strength seven throw DC 12 fails
fails okay so he is now knocked prone he takes a rolled poorly so he takes 12
damage and is knocked prone and now that elephant gets to make another attack
sweet you see this elephant crashes into this angel with its tusks and
smashes it down to the ground, stops levitating, stops hovering in the air. He
takes another 26 damage and now he's prone for I think the last elephant to
then have advantage, right? Good God, yeah. And since he's prone, okay, he's gonna
hit so since whenever an animal's prone they can use a bonus action. So he's prone, okay, he's gonna hit. So since whenever an animal's prone, they can use a bonus action. So he's actually gonna hit again for 14.
And since he's prone, he gets to stomp,
which is definitely gonna fucking hit
for another 16 damage.
This is the best circus I've ever seen.
And I have seen a lot of circuses.
So I believe that's all the goring and stomping
from the elephants and four of the pixies have held their turn.
Good God. Bravo. all the goring and stomping from the elephants and four of the pixies have held their turn.
Good God. Bravo. And Papa will also hawk 24 points of necrotic spores at theala. So
Papa uses his action to use your spores and does 24 damage to theala. You have a possum spitting on a god. And you think you're the good guys.
That sounds like me in a fucking bitch.
It's an insult by my god, it's an insult.
Your pet is way lamer.
And of this god for sake and turn,
Diola is going to use a legendary action to take a crack at hard one.
Oh.
25 to hit.
That hits. 44 damage at hard one. Oh. 25 to hit. That hits.
44 damage, hard one.
Gleaming great sword shines bright with radiant energy.
Strike true.
Yeah, she said it.
She said the line.
OK, after moonshine, that is the angels turns.
The one that is prone and is getting beat up by everybody is not going to be able to get
away and help the y'all.
Okay, this one is going to pop up and take two attacks on Boundore.
This is the hurt one.
Ooh, crits.
Oh, and hits on the second one.
Boundore gets sliced with a Scythe for Good Lord 110 damage.
Wow.
Excuse me.
Wow, that's not good.
Boundor looks rattled by that.
Ow, didn't love it, but he's pretty hearty because of all the extra things.
So he's not a death's door or anything. This other angel is going to go up and
swing on a hard one. Oh, wait. First attack is a 21 to hit. That hits. Okay. That is 40 damage
hard one. Okay. Scythe goes through you. Takes another swing. 25 to hit, 41 damage, hard one.
Alright.
As you are tangled up fighting theala and you have this other angel swinging
aside on you, you see glad Rosel sneaks up behind you.
I've got him, I got his, I will help, I challenge you hardwood, sure foot.
Bring it on, you little shit.
That is a 21 to heads.
Fuck this guy. I'm gonna cast shield.
Yeah! I should have casted you all fucking turd.
I should have casted it earlier, but I just can't stand it.
I can't stand him.
He cast shield.
You're not touching me.
And you see Theala goes,
you're the only one who missed Rosel.
Try harder. Come missed Rosel.
Try harder.
Come on Rosel.
Yes, I got it.
She'll get a missed time.
I promise.
Oh, I'll try.
Watching him get upgraded by his goddess is almost better than watching him die.
He got another 20 misses with the shield.
I promise on this one.
The other please. That one is a 26-hit.
That one just hits. Hard one. He swings into you. Strike true, Rosalene 2.
He's gonna go ahead and cast a fifth-level divine smite. He named her Rosalene 2.
Rosalene 2. That's respectful to that's what kids do with their
fucking goldfish. I'm not a kid Rosaline to his big goal fish. How's your sword feel
being named after its ex? Yeah Rosaline's right here. Tear rolls down his cheek. 56 damage, hard one. Woo! That hurts. I'm gonna hellish
review this motherfucker. Okay. Beautiful. You
throw up the um uh your hair to hair tie. My
hellish man bun. Fix his nose. You demon,
you see and you use fire instead of the
light. Well you turn fire think fire is just different light
Does get a 21 on his save so just gonna take half okay?
He's only gonna take four damage
Whatever you made your point
He's still afraid of fire and he's really see it it burns some he has really really beautiful hair and you give him split ends
No, I turned it the all up. This is your best friend. This is not my best friend He has really, really beautiful hair and you give him split ends. No.
I turned it the all up.
This is your best friend.
This is not my best friend.
I can't believe this is your best friend.
It's a little, you know, it's seriously.
Did you hang out with him?
It's a little embarrassing.
I just feel like I personally haven't even considered
taking the true resurrection spell
and I only would if one of my best friends died.
So what I'm getting from this is that he is your best friend.
Let me make one thing clear.
Nobody, nobody likes galad, least of all me.
What?
What do you say?
Like, I got this.
I seek to bring pain to you.
And I realize that it has, I've hurt myself by bringing him here.
And now you've just inadvertently hurt Galadolot.
Yeah.
Let me make, again, let me make one thing clear.
I don't care if I hurt Galad's feelings.
That's fine.
You could hurt me.
I got it.
You got the likes a little bit.
Oh, he's into it.
I think he kind of is.
I'm going to have to just start being indifferent.
I can understand, you know, it can be a little fun,
a little power play.
That is Bev's turn.
See, the outlook's uncomfortable.
I wink at her.
I wink at her.
The one thing that's that super religious person,
super uncomfortable by, all right, come on, let's be
serious now.
Never.
I turn to moonshine.
And I say, hey, moonshine, you want
if I try a fungal format?
Yeah, do it up, young Ben.
All right, I think I've got enough spores
rattling around in here.
Yeah, you've been around me long enough.
I might have infested you.
Absolutely, they are bubbling up
and I think it's time they came out.
Ha, ha.
And with my turn, I want to use my elder champion ability,
which as an action, I can activate.
You see, in addition to the flowers in my hair,
mushroom starts sprouting as well.
My hair glows green and starts floating through the air
as if I'm underwater.
And I have taken on my Elder Champion form.
I-
Whoa.
Fully, I fully was trying to be strong in front of the all.
I weep, because all long,
Bev has been this fancy little lad
that I never knew if he understood
what a dirty day I was.
And then seeing that I've rubbed off on him
and he's embraced it, has moved me to tears
and this is how I'm plural.
He just brought the funk.
He's just brought the funk. These shrooms will spell your doom. I
wake out. And so when I use Elder Champion, I use that as an action, but as a bonus
action, I can now use Paladin spells. So for my bonus action, I run up, I jump
under the back of one of the elephants as they're all flying around and
attacking. I jump off that elephant onto a flying elephant,
then I jump into the air, grab my sword,
mushroom starts sprouting from my gauntlets,
and I slam down and do a destructive wave
on everyone within range.
Amazing.
I'm gonna say the angel and galad came up behind hard one,
the elus on the other side,
you can either get the alibi herself
or the angel and Galad.
I'm gonna get the Angel and Galad.
I wanna take care of these minions.
Okay, so they need to make a Constitution saving throw, okay?
But as I am an elder champion now, you see spores and pollen floating all around me.
And all creatures that I do paladin spells on have disadvantage on their saving throws.
Yeah, baby.
That's a level 20 bullshit.
I love it.
I love it.
Okay, so Glad has a plus six,
and he has an indomitable ability,
so he might be able to beat this, let's see.
He still fails because of disadvantage.
So he's gonna take the full thing.
The angel is gonna roll with disadvantage.
Ooh, only a 15 already fails.
Yep, fails, both of them fail.
So that's gonna be 22 thunder damage to everyone,
and then 17 necrotic damage.
Yeah, young bib.
Mm-hmm.
You see a wave of thunder and necrotic energy
go across the ground and galad crumbles over
Rosalie to protect me.
Hippoly.
This is your BFF.
This is just so sad, y'all. Are those bracelets, I see? I don't like galad. This is your BFF, this is just so sad, y'all.
Are those bracelets, I see?
I don't like Galad, this is my own bracelet.
Galad made his to copy me.
No, my God, it's.
It's taking yours all.
It is a friendship bracelet.
Fine, I'll take off the bracelets.
And before my turn is over, I would also like to send
Jaja to circle around moonshine, preparing to use his shield ability.
Great!
Yeah!
That is back up to Hard One's turn.
Oh, sweet.
Yes!
I'm going to take a little gander of those amulets.
Please do not that I need it.
You're looking a little worse for where, Hard Bun?
God damn it's going to be hard not to just attack him but I
must I'm gonna swing exclusively at theologian and I'm going to attack
recklessly and I'm going to minus five to add ten okay so that's a 25 to hit
is gonna hit all right that's a nat 20 got dead
Two more tax that's a 20 to hit I imagine that that misses
That's another nat 20 good dude what get Jill in here CVs cheating
Babe show us your dice man. It makes sense. He's a role. He's rolling with advantage so much You see the see the one attack that you do miss,
Galad is just hanging onto your leg and slowing you down.
Stop.
Are you biting me?
Yeah.
That is another crit that's a 19.
Woo!
For fuck's sake, you're beautiful.
I'm gonna kill you.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
I'm gonna action search and attack her.
Good God, man.
That's a 24. Okay, okay, I'm gonna action search and attack her again. Good God, man.
That's a 24. She will use her parry on that one.
That's a 26.
That hits.
That's another crit, that's an 18.
Good God, man.
Oh my God, that's a 19.
I crit again.
Oh, the crit show.
This is ridiculous. Wow, that is a 19. I crit again. Oh, the crit show. This is ridiculous.
Wow, that is 285 damage.
What?
What?
What?
Is that correct?
I mean, if you attack eight times in crit three,
when what are you doing?
You're doing,
and I'm adding an extra 10 every single time because I'm minusing five.
Theala looks hurt.
The El, wow.
Oh God, looks hurt.
She's upset, I'm upset.
Ha ha ha.
But don't worry everyone, it is my turn.
But she can't be healed.
She cannot be healed.
That much is true. The
Ola is truly so mad at you, hard one. She is going to take swings on you.
She's also going to use leadership. You see she points to glad and leadership.
If the creature can hear her, it can add a D10 to one attack roller saving through what makes before, uh, the Allah's next turn.
She points to him and goes,
GLAD!
Do not disappoint me again!
I will not- did you- did you see when I smote him?
When I smote him, my goddess?
One out of three is bad.
You know what? I listen to an inspiring leadership speech
this morning and I gotta say yours does not compare.
Oh, she's gonna take three swings with advantage.
Right.
Oh baby, that's a crit.
That's a 27.
Oh, the crit is actually now in 11.
Okay, so that's a 25. That's, take away that crit. Great, take away the hit. The crit is actually now in 11. Okay, so that's a 25.
That's take away that crit.
Great, takes away the crit.
Second one also hits.
Third one is a 25.
Okay.
Hard one, you take 110 damage.
Okay.
Still up?
Yeah.
Great, I mean, not by a lot.
That is the Allah's layer action. Oh, once again, you guys see the void around you begin spinning in a hypnotic rhythm
and moonshine this time you are the victim.
You feel yourself go out of consciousness for a sec and then you come back and you see
yourself in a forest.
You see your mother, Mima, in Maribel's clutches.
Mother?
No.
That's your best friend, Joleen.
And that fungal monster that has her tendrils wrapped around her?
That's the only woman you've ever loved.
You look down at your blunderbuss, hands shaking and sweaty.
You have to do this.
This isn't Maribel.
She must be stopped.
Jolene's got her hurt. One shot could end this. Unless you hesitate. You see the pseudo pods
wrap around Jolene's neck and pull her closer. Her face turns red and she lets out one last
horrified choke. You need to shoot. Now Jolene is going to die. Damn it. Shoot. No, no, you might hit her.
You might hit Jolene. You can't shoot because you might hit Jolene, right? Isn't anyone gonna help? No.
This is on you. You have to help Jolene. You have to help Maribel by not letting her kill her sister.
You raise the blunderbuss. You take aim and you fire a shot off into the back of the only woman you've ever loved.
The explosion tears her back up.
Living shredded fungi, splits and riggles, but that's not what hurts her.
She's just angry when she turns and sees that it was you.
That's what hurts.
For a second, she looks vulnerable again.
She's no longer a devil, she looks like Maribel again, and she's sad.
She's sad because you've done just about the worst thing anyone could ever do.
Did you really have to shoot her in the back?
An explosion, Jolene calls down lightning, a streak of white hot light hits them both in
a powerful explosion.
Their bodies fly back and scatter across the ground.
Is Jolene dead?
Is Maribel dead?
Shh, she died a long time ago.
You rush over to Jolene, she's still breathing.
Good, good.
Maribel's a few feet away and she's still breathing too.
Good.
No, no, shit.
This is on you now.
You have to finish this.
You grab your blender bus and stand over Maribel,
a writhing mess of corrupted fungi.
You take aim, you can do this, you have to do this.
How many crick-elves did you kill?
How much harm did you cause?
But what was that look she gave you before?
She didn't look like a monster, she looked like a woman betrayed.
Maybe she's still in there. Maybe you can save her, no, no, if Jo-Line couldn't save
her, no one can.
But that look, you hesitate, she recovers slightly and teleports away, in that moment
you know you made the wrong decision, because you're chicken shit.
Gutless.
You hear Theala's voice.
The cost of mercy.
How many more died? Because he couldn't do the difficult thing for the greater good?
Moonshine, go ahead and give me an intelligence saving throw.
I'm gonna go all out.
I'm gonna use my inspiration.
Nice.
24.
Moonshine, you take 66 psychic damage.
Not sexy.
You need six.
So it's, is it even possible for me to keep the concentration?
Even with a plus six and a d4, you can't do it?
Oh!
Come on.
Twenty-a, I can't do it.
Okay, moonshine, you break concentration and the...
But they're still berserkers.
They're still berserkers, they stop being elephants.
Still berserkers.
I can still ride this, I can ride it.
Ha ha ha ha.
Hard one just crashes down on top of a pirate.
Ow, manward.
What are you doing?
I'm not an elephant, dude.
That is Boundore's turn.
Boundore is gonna take cracks at this angel.
Hits on two out of three attacks,
does 30 damage to start, and then why not? We'll use one of his action surges. Yeah, I'm
getting pumped up. We ain't got the elephants anymore. It's never me to be the elephant,
give him the tusks. Give him the tusks. It's okay, we still got berserkers, y'all. We still
got berserkers, I was not lost. Trust the tusks. It's okay, we still got berserkers, y'all. We still got berserkers, all is not lost.
Trust the tusks.
This one has really big ears.
Hey, man, I'm really insecure about that.
They actually have a pretty similar hit point,
so it's more just the abilities that are better
of an elephant and the idea of an elephant flying.
Boundor does 40 damage after a crit and a hit
on the action surge.
This one angel is looking pretty messed up,
but it's still okay. At the end of Boundor's turn, she is going to command allies. She chooses up
to three creatures you can see. If they can see her or hear her, they can immediately use the
reaction to make one weapon attack with advantage on the attack roll so galad's gonna take a crack at hard one the angel
is gonna take a crack at hard one and the other angel is gonna take a crack at
Belmore. One of those angels is prone. Cool so these the angel and galad are gonna
roll regular because they would have, but they have disadvantage because they're prone 28 to hit from galad
I'll do it and a 19 to hit from the angel that one misses that one misses
Okay angel misses hard one galad is going to go ahead and use a fourth level
Divine smite on your hard one makes sense. How am I doing my goddess?
You're doing you're doing fine, Rosal.
Oh my gosh.
God, you're a fan boy.
It's the worst.
Galad with the smite does 45 damage to your hard one?
That'll do it.
That brings me down the same way my old man went down.
Oh God, Galad stabs you in the back and you go down?
No.
That's right.
You guys see, hard one drop.
Oh, that hurts my heart.
That Galad did that good, God.
Yes, yes, I did it.
I brought him down.
Another storm, boy.
The other angel, mostly, I'm dead, so I can't really say it,
but that's what I'm thinking.
Those are my final thoughts.
That is the other angel is going to take a crack at Balnor and does manage to hit Balnor
for 40 damage. Then that is moonshine's turn. I'm going to start it off by
bonus action, healing word hard one. Oh, hey! Look at that, look at that, Gladion. Didn't do shit.
Somebody get him. I did it. I swear you didn't finish the job, glad. Looks like you struck
false, buddy. So that's 24 hit points for hard one. Thank you. And then I am going to once again,
make sure that this, the damage we've done sticks.
Does a 25 hit.
Yes.
Oh yeah, it's a can trip.
So, oh, you are dirty.
It's just a can trip.
You are dirty.
It's just a can trip.
Isn't that fucking funny, Theo,
that the thing I came in,
the thing that when I was strategizing coming up
against you the most that stood out to me
was just a teeny tiny
cantrip. She's forgotten about the power of small things. So I do 18 acrotic damage. She can't be healed
until my next turn. Pixies are still going to keep holding their action. Papa is going to embody the spell that I put in him, which is a fifth level healing spirit.
So, he becomes Spectral Paw Paw Files.
I am back, mother.
I am here to heal.
So anyone who is, anyone, basically hard one, if you start your turn, you'll get five
d6 heals from him and
anyone who does so I guess I'll go ahead and get that fucking sweet one and
it's right now and it's start of your turn until the spell ends whenever you or
creature you can see moves into the spirit space for the first time on a turn or
starts its turn there okay okay so I will take that five D6 and everyone just like come sip at the cup that is pa pa.
Now this is milk.
You wouldn't understand.
But he also, since that's a bonus action,
he's also gonna spore his for 24, necrotic damage.
Good God.
And since I hit her with the chill touch,
she can't heal until my next turn.
And then the berserkers are gonna go.
Ha ha, yep.
The berserkers are gonna go, who looks the most hurt?
One, a glad actually looks pretty hurt.
Okay, that's who I wanted them to go after.
Is he prone still?
He attacks from prone, right?
Yes, he did.
First one gets a 20 to hit hits. Second one gets a
24 to hit hits. Next one gets a 19 to hit hits. A fourth one up we're a 1 and a 2 that's gonna fail.
Final one gets a 23 to hit. Hits? You see all of these ghosts just around.
So glad. Five.
No. I'm scared of good, good, good ghosts.
What do you a Scooby-Doo character get it together?
You really should have summoned Barrett Brisden or something.
I don't know. I don't want to do your job for you.
So they hit him for 46 damage.
Oh, yes.
He's quite hurt.
And that's my turn.
The pixies are still holding their turns.
Okay, hey moonshine, could you remind
Jojo to use his breath weapon you didn't do it yet?
Jojo, use your breath weapon.
Can you wanna roll for him?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And who do you want him to attack, Beth?
Probably galad, let's get galad, okay.
So I'm gonna say he can only hit galad because he's been surrounded by these ghosts.
So, um, Jojo can essentially float up and just hit Galad.
Great, so it is a DC-13 concept.
Uh, he passes.
Uh, so, uh, Galad gets singed for 12 damage.
Galad looks very messed up.
Galad is on DeathStore.
The humidity must be playing so many tricks on his hair at the end of moonshine's turn
The L is going to use a legendary action to take a swing on hard one. Oh
29 to hit that sure hits 39 damage to hard one. I am right back down. Oh
That is the death-packed angels turn. You see the one is
gonna take two swings on prone hard one? Of course. Okay wait, these pixies have held their action.
Can they do something? Can they cast confusion on this creature? Can one of them cast confusion?
You can try, yeah. I'll say this happens before the attack. You see this angel of death hovering over a hard one
about to swing down on them with the side while he's out.
Okay, so one of the pixies,
they all have greater invisibility on themselves.
So I don't know if that affects how this goes out,
but one of the pixies goes to cast confusion on him.
What kind of save?
DC 13 wisdom save.
16 saves.
Okay, another pixie comes out to cast confusion on it.
They do have magic resistance,
so they're rolling with advantage.
So they're gonna roll again.
17 that time.
Okay, I only have one more because I need to save one,
so a third one comes out to try and cast confusion on it to try.
Okay.
14.
That saves.
Okay.
Boundore is gonna use Chrono Shift.
Thank you.
And try to stop that roll.
That doesn't do it.
Rolls even better that time.
You see this angel of death...
Swings down on hard one...
Hits on the first one, critical hit.
Two death fails.
Takes a second swing.
No.
Not 20.
You see...
Swings down...
Scythe goes through his chest.
Hard one...
You see black.
Pfft!
No.
No.
No. It's- It's the fucking world you want, Theala. Youfft, no, no, no.
It's-
This is the fucking world you want, Theala.
You want to kill the people who are heroes so you can keep around your complacent little
Galadros' elves?
That's what you want.
You want to keep the Galadros' elves alive while the fucking greatest hero that Bohumi
has ever seen, fucking goes down.
The greatest hero that Bohumi has ever seen, he will be forgotten.
When all this is over, your names will be wiped from history.
It doesn't matter if they're wiped from history, I don't give a shit about history, I
read the history books, they're all fucking biased bullshit.
What matters is right now, right now he is a fucking hero and you are swapping him for
fucking Galad Rosel. Let me be clear, I don't like Galad.
Well, the way you're acting, just fucking made a real strong case against that.
That is actually the other death-packed angel who's gonna swing on Balnor.
Hard one is cold and dead on the ground.
The other one hits Balnor once, misses the other time. 41 damage on Balnor.
Now it is a glad turn, glad we'll take some strikes at the berserkers.
Let me tell you what their AC is. 13. They actually have better AC than the
fenging elephants. I still hit on the three attacks. And he'll do, I'll say, a first level semi-dentied one.
OK, give me your damage.
32 damage, 30 damage, and 25 damage.
They all look fine.
Good job.
Why did I waste my time doing that?
That is Beverly's turn.
Beth, if you want to be near Papa, you can regain, uh, 5d6.
Yes, come to me. I feel like I got lost in all the death and whatnot, but I am here. I do have milk.
I'm actually, I'm feeling pretty sated at the moment, but it's good to know if you could like put some milk on ice for me, I would really appreciate it.
Ice milk.
If you could like, uh, pump out a quick like milkshake for me and just keep it cold, all the angels
start looking their lips.
This is possible.
You would not like it.
Cool.
So I turned a theala with tears in my eyes and I say, when is the last time you smiled?
When is the last time you felt the light that you so professed to love?
Because the man you killed brought so much joy to me and to others.
He made the world so big and so beautiful and I'm not letting you take him from it.
And as my bonus action, I will cast Revivify on hard one. Oh, my bonus action Revivify.
Oh, my baby, what is action Revivify?
Yo, you love to see it. I keep up.
Hard one, go ahead and roll your death saves.
Oh, right.
Okay, so Bev runs over, hands on hard one.
Okay.
That's a four.
Okay, so that is a fail.
Oh, don't forget to add the plus six.
So that is a ten.
Oh, okay, so that's already, and yes, that's true.
Yes, the power of friendship, my friends.
There it is.
Yes, you also get the D4, so, but even with just the plus six, you automatically get a ten,
hard one go ahead and roll again.
Everyone should be friends with paladins, huh?
Shout out to the two crew yikes. Um, go ahead and roll a D4 because if you roll a 1 you still fail it
Good on me. That is a 1 wow
You know what I'm gonna use I'll use inditable okay and I re-roll that yeah, please do
Hey, there's a 12 that's a 12 baby
Never been so happy to see a 12 you love a 12
And then hard one then plus the two crew one last death save
There we go that's a 19.
Woo!
Wow, now you keep back up.
No, I keep-
Sinti popped back up.
Would you say that's like him entering Pop-A's spectral
healing area?
Yes, hard one you may use spectral Pop-A.
So I keep up right into Pop-A's team.
And I look at Galad and I I say now this is a god worth worship
What are you doing man?
You wouldn't understand thanks for the refive if I but absolutely anytime I give me a crooked thumbs up
I give him just a
Mangle of fingers in return
I give him just a mangle of fingers in return.
Cool, so as my action, I'll give him 50 HP from Touch Hands.
Wow, yes.
It's already been touching you so much.
Okay, keep it up.
I'm fucking drinking possum milk.
We're gonna touch you family, okay?
No bad news, baby.
We're gonna eat you dogs.
Everyone need on me as we drink of my milk.
I am your big possum mommy. Bugs. Everyone need on me as we drink of my milk.
I am your big possum mommy.
I cheers a glass of possum milk with hard one and then we like link our arms and chug it
down and he gets 50 HP and then I'm going to action surge.
Oh yeah.
You do have an action surge.
I do indeed.
Crazy guy. Glads looking hurt right? Very, extremely hurt. Very I do indeed. Crazy guy.
Glad's looking hurt, right?
Very extremely hurt.
Very, very hurt.
Very hurt.
Wait, Beverly, okay?
Just hang on.
Let's talk this out, okay?
Again, Pia, please pay close attention
to what's gonna happen because that is the fault.
That is your followers.
No, no, no, nothing's gonna happen, okay?
Just remember that you and I have a history, okay?
Bev for the life. Remember I didn't realize that killing your idols meant I got a two-for-one today
And I'm gonna take it. I definitely thought he was gonna proposition him with something looed
So that's why I said come on an offer. We've all heard. I've watched him proposition some pretty good things.
I never said that.
I don't remember that.
I'm going to slash into Galadrozel.
More mushrooms sprout from my hand and my sword
as I power up on a chronic smite.
Moonshot is weeping like a proud aunt.
Okay.
Beverly Necromancy, you should have had
you need the light, Beverly, any of the light, Bev.
You gotta look on the dark side, bud.
Um, and I slash with the power of Shadow Fell
and my friends behind me.
Cool.
And I'm gonna roll with advantage.
Yeah, roll everything with advantage, my little one.
Does a 22 hit?
A 22 does hit glad yes.
Woo!
All right, so we're gonna do, folks,
we're gonna do a second level necrotic smite.
You hear as the sword whizzes down,
you see your father's face in the black smoke.
Good job, not dog in its son.
We've had a knucklehead in our path and soon that knucklehead will reside on my friends Bell
Oh, yeah, this is real glad this isn't like some fake spectral glad so his head will indeed be real
Y'all dope so that's 32 damage on the first attack
Beverly finish him
I slice him up so that he falls to his knees. God. And then I move out
of the way and let hard one do what he will. Take a shit on him. Take a shit on me.
I I stride up to glad Rosalio swirling the the God's hammer. I say, you know what, Roselle?
I could kill you with this thing,
but you're just not worth it.
And I kick him in the face and shit on his head.
You just brutally just like break his nose in his skull.
And you hear for one split second,
you fix his deviated septum.
And he goes, no hard one, no.
Strike true, find the light.
That's beautiful, fully holy fuck, that's beautiful.
That's what a voice.
And he falls over as you shit on his head.
What could have been?
And I sort of, I do my best to shake off the fecal matter
as I tie his hair around my butt.
You're not putting that in the bag, I'll tell you that much.
I'm not gonna hang out with you.
Don't worry, don't worry.
No, it's going on my person.
Okay.
That's maybe worse.
I give hard one a towel to assist with cleaning off
this shit-covered head.
I use it to wipe my face.
Just a little bit of sweat. with cleaning off this shit-covered head. I use it to wipe my face. Ha-ha-ha-ha.
Just a little bit of sweat.
Ha-ha-ha.
I guess I'll head towards the angel that's attacking Balmour now.
That's okay.
Uh, you're gonna take a, an opportunity attack
by, from the other angel.
That's fine.
Mrs.
Woo!
Ha-ha-ha.
Uh, I blow some spores in his face
as I yippy-skippy-right-passed.
Ah, yeah.
Oh yeah.
It's not on those.
They won't do anything, but you're pretty annoyed, huh?
Cool.
Then I will attack this angel that's harassing my dad.
Sweet.
Does it 23 hit?
Yes.
I'm going to save my third levels for a vivify because we are already having a rough
go at it.
I think so, yes.
But that seems smart.
I'll do another second level necrotic smite on this angel.
Okay.
Wait, no.
Divine smite because this angel is a death angel.
Yep.
So that's 29 damage radiant for all the fans listening at home to this angel sweet
End of Bev's turn the Ella takes a legendary swipe at hard one right 25 to hit that it's hard one
That is 37 damage still standing baby still standing baby
Bevin pop all hook me up
That is hard one's turn.
So I pull up my pants and I pick up the hammer.
And I...
Did your pants fault, oh right you were shitting.
I took a shitting.
Yeah.
I took a mid battle shit.
The hero bohumia took a shit on your chosen.
You're the great hero that everyone was just crying about.
You took a shit on a man's head.
This is what keeping a light is all about.
I'm cheating, Cry.
I was gonna save that for later.
I'm more of a private cryer, thank you.
You know what?
We know that you're steamed because she's
shat on your soulmate for life and life hereafter.
But I'm sorry.
This is the way it's gonna be in boon.
Take his friendship bracelet off
that's my bracelet he copied it. I tie it tighter. We're not that strong. Untie it. Untie the bracelet.
You're you're allowed to take yours off. Why would I take mine off? He copied me.
Hard one is touched for a second and I'm like did they really say I was a hero while I was dead?
Several times.
Don't get inspired, shut up.
Hit me with your damn hammer.
Alright, I'm going to take some attacks.
I'm going to attack recklessly and I'm going to minus five to add the ten.
So that's a 27 hit.
That hits.
A 20 to hit.
Dirty.
Not now.
Mrs.
I'm going to use a fucking luck point.
Okay. Yeah! Oh yeah, and that's a 22 hits
That's a 25 okay, I think I I think I am sort of
Give her the middle finger with my chilled touch in the cry of a can just so she knows this is coming for her
That's a really weird thumbs up. You're doing moonshine
It's a mean thumbs up. Whoa. That's a not 20. It's a really weird thumbs up you're doing, Loonshine. It's a mean thumbs up.
Whoa, that's a not 20.
It's a thumbs down, honestly.
You could fit again.
That's a not 20 baby.
Fucking bastard.
How many 20s is that?
I don't know, too many.
Wow.
It makes sense, because for anyone who's like,
oh my god, he's cheating.
No, no, no, of course not.
He's rolling with advantage four times in a row,
eight times in a row.
Yeah, and also Jesus Christ personally loves him that is 165 damage
Beautiful
God is a pleasure, sir
It's a goddamn pleasure. Sorry for dying all the time
But every time you bring me back. This is what I'm gonna try to do
Hard one you
Smash her in the chest.
Dent, her breastplate.
Swing back around, hit her in the back.
You hear her back crack as she flies forward.
Hit her in the face.
You see her neck snaps back.
She turns it back to you.
Blood pouring out of her nose.
Blood pouring out of the sides of her mouth. She tries to look strong,
and then she staggers, and she falls a little bit forward, and she goes, all right, the negotiations
are over. Your opinions have been noted, but I am the God of Gods, and I decide what is best for the realm. Perhaps I should show the people of Bohemia what happens to people who oppose me.
You see, light shining from under her plate mail, which melts away to show a radiant being underneath. A flash of radiant light blinds you as the court of gods
is teleported back into the sky of Bohemia,
the material plane, overlooking the Iron Deep Mountains.
The Allah has taken a new form.
She looks as she did when you saw her create her cataclysm. She is a being
of pure radiant light with hair like starfire. She grows to the size of a giant 16 20 feet
tall with glowing radiant wings. The two socketed gems in her head now now glow yellow, and as they flash, you see her face begins to take the shape
of her former allies, Othgar and Alonus,
and each time she speaks, you hear all their voices at once.
I will broadcast your judgment to the world.
This won't be my first time on TV if you know what I'm saying.
Down in hell, I put on a good show.
Oh no, that's not sure I'm pretty true, actually.
It's not even a video.
It's kind of a whole, we actually kind of a whole
meet-all video here, but I'm kind of watching from
out of the store to listen to that.
It's a good podcast, it's kind of, I'm out of it.
I'm out of it, right?
I'm out of it, I'm out of it.
It means a lot that you're enjoying it.
I'm crazy.
I'm out of it.
I'm out of it.
I'm out of it.
I'm out of it. I'm out of it. I'm out of it. I'm out of it. I'm out ready to subscribe and tell your friends You're going to laugh Where did the mouth go so long away?
I'm going to laugh
Too much because you're talking over with God right now
Why are we getting out of here?
Alright, catch up soon
What time do you guys are?
Okay, yeah, yeah, whatever you said
I'm going to make the green stuff
I'm going to make the green stuff
Kisses
Kisses
Hard one
You've only taken a couple of tax, right?
How many, or did you take all your tax to kill her, right?
I took all my attacks.
I'm gonna second wind real quick.
The hard one, bonus action, second wind.
And that is theala, form two's turn.
By form two, do you mean form final or?
Two of question marks.
I will never tell you see she is going to swing two
swords down on hard one looks like herself but just a radiant being you see like
starfire come out of her hands dang you got a crush on hard one or something
huh I do not have a crush on him look if you want to make a play. We could do
I don't I don't yeah, all you have to do is check me up
She's wearing the same bracelet as you I was wearing this one first
Dude is everyone keeps copying my bracelets
That is a 30 to hit you hard one.
Yeah, you know what that actually is.
Yeah, that is 23 damage hard one.
Okay.
Sweet.
She's going to take a second sword attack against you.
37 to hit.
Oh, that one misses.
Wow, unbelievable.
22 damage hard one.
Okay.
You see her face takes the shape of Ulfgars,
and she swings a spectral accent you for the last one.
This one's gonna hurt the most.
That is a 30 to hit.
Also, yeah.
31 damage, hard one.
And it did.
Then on initiative 20,
that is the Allah's layer action.
You see rather than crazy things happening
in kind of the world around you to entrench you,
Bev, you see she just looks at you directly in the eye.
You see a flash of white.
I put on my solar eclipse goggles and I'm totally fine.
Ha ha ha. Beverly, you open your eyes. I put on my solar eclipse goggles and I'm totally fine.
Beverly, you open your eyes and you are in the one hells.
The one hells? No, the nine hells.
Asmodius is domain.
You are in the middle of a fight with your greatest enemy and it is not going well.
The embodiment of evil, a mad god with a crown of fire,
rips into Oofgar. He still hasn't recovered from his fight with that dreaded mushroom woman,
even you can't seem to cure him. You have to bring him back! You turned to her, Alonus.
She screams from across the battlefield, skin scorched with fire, robe of
frayed, you stare, incredulous. She can't be serious, ill-set is our enemy. He worked
with us for his own ambition, not because he has truly changed. He will betray us just
as he betrayed Osmodius.
Theala, this is not the time for your moral posturing. We need help.
Moral posturing.
You mean having morals?
Maybe she's right.
Oofgar can't take much more of this,
but what if he dies?
You don't have the strength to cast many more spells
and you would never forgive yourself
if you lost Oofgar to help him.
You look over at the dead body of Ilsa,
the Necromancer, and Pallor help us. You rush over to the dead body of Ilsa, the Necromancer, and sigh. Polar help us.
You rush over to the side of your enemy, the Necromancer who brought the wrath of the
Nine Hells to the material plain and reach out with a life-restoring touch.
Mercy cannot be wrong, can it?
But why does it feel wrong?
His eyes shoot open and he sits up.
Without so much as they thank you for pulling me out of the abyss,
he pushes past you and goes to work against Osmodeus.
The scale is tilted ever slightly in your favor.
In a maelstrom of axe swings and arcane explosions, you are victorious.
Ulfgar scores the killing blow and rips the God's heart from its chest.
Is that a heart? It's strange. It's gold. It's beautiful. You
an Ulfgar and Alana stare on in disbelief as osmodeous collapses. Evil incarnate defeated.
No. Ilsaid snatches the Hellfire crown and you are banished back to the material plain.
Fool! How much evil will he rot because Alana was wrong wrong? From now on, you will trust your instincts.
Bev, go ahead and give me an intelligence saving throw.
That's gonna be a 28.
That passes.
Woo!
You take half.
You take 31 psychic damage
and then you are shocked back into reality.
And you are there in front of this radiant God flying high over Bahumia.
I know the pain of past mistakes.
Don't make one more.
There's still time.
You have so much power and so much potential.
You don't need to use it this way.
Just keep working.
Don't abandon this place.
Stay with us. You plead. Use it this way. Just keep working. Don't abandon this place.
Stay with us.
You plead to Theala and you see in this form, guys go ahead and everybody give me insight
checks.
27 for me.
With a single 27, moonshine can relay this to everybody else.
And you guys can kind of just see it and read it on her face.
This form of her has a little bit less of her human ambition.
She has lost her humanity.
She is this God powered by her divine hearts that has the power of herself, Alonus, and Ulfgar, and you see part of Alonus' intelligence coming through.
And she takes no joy in this, she just looks at you Beverly, and she goes,
There is a chance, however small, that you are right.
But you yourselves are practically deities.
Perhaps this is just another meeting of the gods, a debate.
Yes, we shall find out who is right in the end.
Can I do a role to see if Alonus is making the Aula a little high? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Um, that is Boundor's turn. Uh, Boundor's gonna take some cracks at these angels.
Shout out to the two crew, Mrs. On the first one hits on the second one.
Boundor does a big 30 damage.
Woo!
You see this one that Boundor and Bev has been fighting?
Is, is hurt.
Could be taken out by like a round of attacks by someone.
In fact, you know what?
Boundor's gonna use his last action surge, cause why not?
He's probably not gonna be the guy who takes out the alla.
But you know what, I'll take one of these damn birds
to hell with me.
That's right.
You put your ass to the ground
so you can put their ass to the ground.
Dope.
Hits twice.
Ask to the grass.
Hits twice.
Crits once.
You see Bounder cuts down this angel of death.
That's right, with a hounds, baby.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, her head, light again,
and you see her face takes the shape of the lannises.
You see she holds her fingers in front of her mouth
and blows a like arcane mist.
Everybody go ahead and give me a deck saving throw.
Is this a spell?
No, this is like an action.
Okay. So this is, this a spell? No, this is like an action. Okay. Okay. Um, so this is it's
only 10 feet wide. So who was like closest together? Yeah, I think I like got some of the tasty,
tasty, possum milk. And then I ran over to where Balnor is. Oh, okay, Bev is okay. So it's basically
okay. So I'm going to say there's two sides of the battlefield right now. Yeah. There's the hard
one side with all of the ghosts because they just helped kill Glad,
and then there's the bev side with Bev Balnor,
and-
I'm probably near Pa, Pa, to be honest.
Okay, so you're near a hard one.
Yeah.
Got it.
Okay, so only moonshine and hard one need to make saves
and make a save for the ghosts.
So I got 22.
I got a 26.
You guys both fail.
Okay, so none of them even have a chance to pass.
Okay.
Or rather a 27, would a 27 pass?
Yes.
Okay, then I'm gonna roll to see if anyone crits.
One of them crits!
One of them does not get hit.
Okay, so one of them did fucking crit.
Okay, so 90 damage to everybody who failed.
Okay.
Oh.
And 45 damage to the ghost who passed.
You see, he's one extremely dexterous ghost.
He stands.
He stands, but I'm down.
Oh no.
As I fall, I say, just let me lie here.
Do what you have to do.
What I have to do is bring you back, hard one.
Yeah, because honestly, none of us are gonna be able
to do 200 damage and run around. Yeah, because honestly, none of us are going to be able to do 200 damage in one row.
Yeah, my entire strategy was built around making sure the damage you did stuck.
So I'm kind of not a solo act in this one.
Yep.
So it looks like you're stuck with it.
I pass out with a smile on my face.
That is Moonshine's turn.
All right, Spectral Paw Paw is going gonna give you five D6 hit points.
Rad.
And then can I do some kind of insight into this new form?
Sure.
Like is this like some kind of wizardly form?
Basically, I built all my stuff around
sort of like a spellcasting cleric
and that's, I've been saving these counter spells
and I have a pixie who's supposed to cast a spell magic
and all this stuff, so I'm trying to sus out.
Go ahead and give me an insight check.
Yeah, shout out to the two crew.
Okay, you can't really get a read on it.
I could maybe make sure that she can heal herself.
Oh really?
Okay, that would be great then.
In that case, I'm gonna do six level heal,
70 hit points to hard one.
Wow, hold on a good one.
And Papa's gonna do the 24-nacrotic damage.
Oh, what did Papa has to be out?
Oh, Papa's out.
I mean, did he have, he would have taken 90,
or 45-year-old if he saved.
Yeah, okay, so Papa's out. Okay, so you see Papa has...
So Papa's out, don't take that 56 health then.
Okay.
And I'll just heal you for 70.
And was Jojo was protecting moonshine, right?
Yeah.
Jojo get hit by that too.
Jojo's HP is 45.
Jojo exactly dies even if he's...
Okay.
You beautiful bastard.
So, I guess I'm just, I guess I'm gonna look at theala
and be like, hey bitch, I fucking know how it feels
to be the healer.
So I don't fucking feel bad for you.
And then I use a six level spell to heal hard one
for 70 hit points.
Sweet, thank you.
And I do have that one dude.
I'm not gonna be a zerker.
He's gonna try to, he's a flying one,
so he's gonna try to hit the yalla.
Oh, that'd be good.
He's gonna be good too.
He's just like Dr. Manhattan now so confused.
You bring a ghost pirates to fight a god?
Yeah, he was a flying elephant,
but you made fit to see that done with.
Yes, don't make fun of his big ears.
Does it 23 hit?
No.
Okay, so he misses.
God bless his soul.
It's all about heart though.
All right, so that's what I do.
Sweet, at the end of your turn,
she is going to swing at the ghost that's right there.
Does it, she turns into Ulfgar again
and swings a, like, axe of starlight down.
Moonshine, did he attack recklessly?
Absolutely.
Okay.
This was this man's last moment in He knew it.
Good God.
So sad.
37 damage.
That's super nuts, obviously.
This hero of Valhalla.
Returned to Valhalla, good dumber.
I was in Elephant.
Who came into life and then became an Elephant and then became just a berserker again, returns
to his Val Hall and spirit form
and says goodbye to us once and for all.
I pour one out for him.
That is the Angels turn.
There was an angel that was over by Hard One.
It's gonna take some swings at Hard One.
Ooh, shout out to the three cream misses.
And the next one, he was only an 18 to hit.
I believe that misses you you. Mrs. Twice.
Alright, got a little bit of Galad Rosel Rubin on it.
In the distance you are a straight, true hard one. I hate how much of a part of this he is.
He really came back, didn't he? Then that is... she gets another legendary action.
She has to stand to this form gets five.
Please cast a spell.
She spends two live to do her arcane breath thing again
as a lawnmower.
She's doing it on the other side now towards Balnor and Bev.
So Balnor and Bev, go ahead and give me deck saving throws.
Get load head.
That thing hurts.
I'll use my shield reaction to add plus three, so that's going to be 28.
That passes.
Bev, you take half, you take 35 damage.
I take zero if I take.
Oh my god, awesome Bev. You hold the shield up
get behind it. Can I still take the damage in a half Balanors? If you want to
use your reaction I'll let you split the damage with Balanore. Yeah awesome I
do that. Sweet. Bev you see Balanore stumbles back trying to get away from it.
You hold your shield up bravely able to block both of you but you guys both take
a little bit of the runoff. You guys both take 35 damage.
35. But Bounder would have failed for sure. Thanks, bud. It's okay. Our elbows got a little cooked,
but that's all right. Sweet. That is Bev's turn. So I want to do my normal attacks, and then I will
So I want to do my normal attacks and then I will actually... So I'll cast a spell as a bonus action again.
Okay.
I power up the necrotic side of my sword and I kind of hold it over my eyes
and I offer a quick prayer to my dad and say,
if you can offer any help from Shadowfell, now it would be a good time.
And I want to use Spirit Shroud,
which is an unearthed Arconis spell,
whohoo, which allows me to summon a shroud
of necrotic spirits that kind of surround me
and give me an extra deate of damage,
but also if you get hit by them, you can heal.
Ooh.
And this was approved to anybody at home.
That's true. That's true.
Getting mad at Caldwell.
This was approved.
I checked with daddy because I call upon the forces
of Shadow fell.
I'll let you flavor it how you will.
But I think it'd be pretty fun if Red and Gunther came out.
Yeah, you see, you see, Lord Stormborn's sword
Horde shows up.
You see the spectral forms of Bev Sr. Red and Gunther appear behind him.
You need me to like stab this god in the back or what?
Yeah, wherever you can stab.
Alright, you get out of the plate.
We'll stab our best.
Do you want to just scurry under her plate if you can?
Yeah, I mean, I'll try my best.
I think I've got to go with the sword, kid.
Ha ha ha ha. Probably smart. Yeah, I mean, I'll try my best. I think I gotta go with the sword, kid.
Probably smart. Okay, then I rush in and I'm gonna take two attacks. Nice.
Um, does a 26 hitter. Yes. Great. All right, let me do that damage.
So that's gonna be 25 damage on the first hit. Nice. And then I will attack again.
So that's gonna be 25 damage on the first hit. Nice.
And then I will attack again.
Alright, another 26 to hit.
Yeah, you see necrotic damage going in against this insane radiant energy.
You see the sword of Bev Sr. swinging along with you.
The spear of Gunther and the dagger going in like hiding behind you guys going in to try to get up under her ribs of Uncle Red.
The Force War and Stormborn Horde.
George!
The Stormborn Horde, George!
It's ridiculous and we go in but we do the damage and we get the job done for 22 points
of damage.
Nice.
Nice.
Hard one that is your turn.
Oh shit.
Yeah, awesome.
I'm still alive. Okay. I'm gonna attack Dialla.
I'm gonna do it recklessly.
I'm gonna minus five to plus ten.
Good God.
You see she looks at you.
Why do you do this?
You do this to defend the wicked?
Why do you want to die?
Why do I want to die?
I wanna, I wanna live.
You're taking the freedom of life away from people.
You understand that.
You're not giving anyone anything.
Go ahead and make your attack.
I did crit.
I did, God.
And you know what, he has the freedom to do that.
And a crit again.
Pity.
Tune.
That's a 19.
All right, so that's two crits.
Does a 20, 24 hitter? No. PEE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE It's insane. This fucking dice. I'm gonna I'm gonna put it in a museum. Well cuz he crits on
1819 17 18 19 20 right but creating three times every turn is still statistically insane
It's mostly been 19s and 20s true and that it's a 25 on my bonus attack that hits
God it feels fucking good to crit Emily was right that is 163 damage dude what wow we yeah you hit her you see her like form begins to kind of give way as
there's these just like flashes of radiant light but then that is her turn and she is going to swing back at you.
You have fought admirably.
Swinging me, I expect no less.
35 to hit on the first attack, 32 to hit on the second attack and the last one as Ulfgar
29 to hit.
Thanks, Ulfgar.
Yeah, I'll hit.
81 damage.
That'll do it. That'll not be down. That is the
layer action. Moonshine. You are targeted this time. You once again see a flash of yourself
as Olcob hesitating not being able to pull the trigger on Maribel. Go ahead and give
me a intelligence saving throw.
Shout out to the two crew.
You take 55 psychic damage.
That is Balnor's turn.
There's still one angel left.
Balnor's gonna go after that one.
Shout out to the two crew on the first attack.
Hits on the other two attacks.
Does 29 damage at the end of Balnor's turn.
She turns towards the, I guess she's just gonna go
for the side with the most people,
which means hard one's gonna get hit.
It's not a melee attack, so it's not an auto crib.
Is it a spell?
No, it is an ability.
She takes the form of Alonus and blows like an arcane mist out.
Everybody go ahead and give me deck saving throws.
I guess it's just moonshine, balanor, and hard one is out.
So hard one just fails a death save.
Just one.
28.
moonshine you pass.
So you take half.
moonshine you take 43.
Balanor takes 85, and falls.
Oh, okay.
And I'll like it when two people are down.
That is Moonshine's turn.
All right, then everyone, bring it in.
Girl, for us, angrily and resentful,
as you seem about being the healer,
y'all put a female in the healing position.
I will mask your wounds to bring up hard one and Valnor and Paw Paw.
Oh, you got it.
Let's go ahead, I'm back, okay.
Everyone gets 43 hit points.
Whoa!
Paw immediately jumps up, uses a, does 24 necrotic damage to her.
I would like to do another insight check just to figure out, like, because I'm worried
about if Bev's concentration goes away, like, do we need to worry about her healing herself?
Am I stupid for even saving my counter spells at this point?
She does not seem to be casting many spells,
so I wanna do some kind of like-
Go ahead and make an insight check.
Okay.
21.
21.
Moonshine, you notice that when she was casting divine spells,
like when she cast true resurrection
to bring Galad back,
the necklace containing Irland was glowing. Yeah. And it has not glowed since and anytime
she's taken the form of like herself she has just been swinging. Well all that
time in the library. I am gonna send handy Andy to try and steal the necklace.
Yes.
Whoa.
Okay, I approve.
Moon-Chang, go ahead and give me a... he has enough movement.
Go ahead and give me a stealth check and then a slight of hand check.
Okay. Her perception, I will tell you right now, is plus 26.
She rolled a four, so she only got a 30.
Okay, his stealth is 19.
Boundo will coronal shift, use his last coronal shift.
Ha ha.
Woo!
Okay, he got a 31.
Oh my God, successfully is able to,
you see, hand to Andy, just like slightly getting
cinched by the starfire is able to crawl up her unnoticed
and gets over to the necklace.
I'll say, give me a slight of hand check.
I'll say she already failed her perception check.
Good enough slight of hand, you'll be able to a slight of hand check. I'll say she already failed her perception check good enough slight of hand
You'll be able to rip it off. Wow
I rolled a nat one, but I will use my 19 portant roll
Get the fuck out get the fuck what is his slight hand plus 13? Oh my god, you got a 32
Moonshine handy Andy scrolls up there
Pulse the necklace off of the alla you see she reacts
What how did you do that how how
Andy bring them back to bed handy Andy scrambles over to Beverly you've been tricked by the crick
Wow unbelievable
She is going to you're on the same side as you're with
hard one and Balnor and everybody, right? I'm with hard one. Yeah, hard one, pop up.
Okay, she's gonna use a legendary action at the end of your turn. Okay, maybe scratch
everything I just, to once again, do her arcaneane mist go ahead and give me deck saving throws plus six deep four me and pop off both fail 27 that passes hard
one you take half you take 42 oh my good lord moonshine you take 85 I'm down. You see Balnor also goes down. So Balnor, Moon Shender Down, that is the Angel's turn.
I guess we'll keep swinging on a hard one. It was right there with hard one. 19 is the highest
roll. Misses on both attacks. Yeah. God. At the end of the Angel's turn though, she is going to take a swing as Ulfgar down on you hard one
within Axe and crits
Why don't I use my final lock point to see oh
Rolls-moor not a bad idea
Okay still hits
31 damage. Yeah, it doesn't matter. I'm down hard one goes goes back down, hard one's down, bounders down, moonshine's down. What? Oh boy. Bev, that is your turn. Can I take a look at
this gym in my hand now? Yeah. That's just a 15. A 15.
Bev, this is very strong magic that
that you probably could not have broken
not too long ago, but you are a titan of Bohemia. You could smash this thing with some divine magic.
You mean like a smite? Yes. I would essentially let you make an
attack and do a religion check. Well, first and foremost, let's go ahead and use a bonus action spell.
I'm going to cast Aura of Life so that everyone can get back up.
Ooh, okay.
Until the spell ends, the Aura moves with you. It's a 30-foot radius.
Each non-hostile creature in the A aura has resistance to necrotic damage. Hitpoint maximum can be reduced. In addition, non-hostile
living creatures regain one hit point when it starts its turn in the aura with zero hit
points. So I don't know if I can heal everyone, but I feel like I can try and get this aura
up so everyone can stand up again. And then I think I've got a friend who might be able to help me heal.
So I hold this gemstone up and I kind of speak to Erlin
and hope that he can hear me.
And I say, hey, Erlin, I don't know if you remember
that first jamberine we went to
when we were both trying to learn our green teen healing
spells.
I wanted that patch so bad and I just couldn't figure it out.
But then you came over and you showed me the way and you taught me the words.
And then I hold my hands up wide and then I clap them together as I scream. Touch! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE That's a 19 plus nine, that's gonna be a 28.
Bev, as you use the inspiration that you got
from the prayer wall and as you speak to Irlin,
you see blue energy swirl around you
and as it passes by like your ear,
you hear Irlin saying the same thing, going, "'Touch hands!'
You clap your hands together and there is a crash of light.
You see the gem shatters.
And when the dust clears,
you see a extremely exhausted Irlin
is laying there on the ground. Hey, goes, dude, is that you?
It's me, dude.
Here, eat this.
I give him a sticky bun.
He takes the sticky bun, he takes a deep bite.
He's covered in goodberry jam.
Bev, you see Irlin looks extremely exhausted.
Mechanically, he has four levels of exhaustion, so he only has half his speed and stuff.
He only has half his hit points.
Looks pretty injured, but he looks over and he sees the Allah and he's like,
I'll be your dude, I'll heal him.
We're doing this.
I put my amulet around his neck.
As you lean in to put it around him
He pulls you in close and gives you a big kiss
He's in back pushes you back and he's gonna cast a mask your wounds
Irland can choose up to six creatures. So he's going to just heal everybody
Everybody get even pop up
Everybody gets 30 HP nice. I don't know how many of those I have left dude, but
happy to help
You see Irlin
Looks over at you hard one as you stand back up. He looks extremely
fucked up
Just like hair drenched and maddaged just been in like a prison forever and he
gives you a crooked thumbs up and he goes he's scoundmaster jamboreen is back on
yes it is I give him a perfect thumbs up for the first time in my
first one everybody looks fucking shocked what is he doing with his thumb?
he's a broken?
he's a broken? he's broken? he's broken? with his thumb? Is it broken in those bushes with shivu, huh? I died and I came back like this did the olive break your thumb?
Why is it so straight real fix it? Well cast a greater restoration after the
hard one. I don't understand it anymore. I jam my hand into my pocket
I'm gonna say Irlin is going to play it smart
He only has half his movement because he's very slowed down.
He is going to position himself in a spot where,
essentially, if she wants to attack him,
she has to only go after him to kind of like
see himself from getting hit.
So he kind of goes in the middle between everybody.
So Erlin looks super tired and messed up,
but he can still cast a spell.
He's still helpful.
That is back around a hard one, Stern. I guess I stand up after having been knocked out and
brought back so many times. I use my hammer to get up and I say, you see the
Aura, how many times I fall and I get to keep on fighting. And you know what, you know what I have that you don't have is friends.
You really, you really gotta have friends by your side
and you're standing here all by yourself.
Yeah, you damn right, you don't got shit on the hounds.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
I start snarling like a dog.
You see, early looks confused.
This is the thing we do, we buy it now.
It's good, yeah, we buy it, it's cool. Get in or get out, you know
So oral wise up or wise out
Mochina too. Are you mad at me?
No, sorry, I just died
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, right, you know. I'm pretty pissed. You wanna yell at each other, Mochak? Mark my friend. He punches you.
Okay, I'm gonna take my attacks with the minus five to plus ten.
Wow.
And I'm gonna attack Rick, loosely.
Oh yeah.
That's a 25 to hit.
Uh, that hits.
Another 25.
Hits.
That is a crit that's an 18 oh
Shout out to the two crew you know you got to miss sometimes you got to miss sometimes and I also did crit again
Wow that is 172
Damage I will never not bring you up good
Lord my friend
You see this version of her, while more powerful,
appears to be less stable.
You see she begins like shifting forms more rapidly.
She begins to like kind of lose her corporeal form
a little bit like the flashes of radiant light
or like a little bit wavy.
But then that is her turn.
You can bring me down again if you want to. You can't do anything to me that hasn't happened a hundred times before.
I guess if you had sex with him, that's only happened once.
I could've been.
That was already five times.
That was 30 fucking five.
Wait, it's come, Master, you got laidman.
Oh yeah.
You got laidman.
That's hard one first time. Good job.
Yeah, cool. Keep it chill. I tap her in the up.
A gentleman never tells about all the stuff.
He's told us several times.
Hard one, go ahead and give me a post strength check.
Ooh, what's yours like plus one?
It's a 19.
19, okay. She gets a 38.
You see?
She's raised.
She grabs you by the throat.
If you won't stay down, I will just have to put you down.
And she goes over to the side of the platform
and she throws you with such velocity that she breaks the fabric of the plane itself.
Directly under the platform, you see that the material plane shatters and warps to be
the corrupted version of Melora's Demiplane.
This dark place with a glowing divine heart in the center, the heart of the world.
Hard one, you land.
Next to the heart, you see Talaine is there. She reacts for a split
second, but then closes her eyes and maintains concentration, trying to help Malora. She's like
meditating there. You see she flickers in and out of existence. It looks like she's going to have to
essentially give up her corporeal form as well. And you see, Thialla shows up in the plane with you, and
she goes, perhaps this world is already lost. Yes, I will destroy it and build a new one.
She shrieks and lets out an aura of radiant light that further shakes and disturbs the world.
You see tendrils of yellow energy shoot out from Melora's Divine Heart and struggle to keep the world together.
You see Tulane completely disappears as she fuses into the Divine Heart, strengthening it.
You are surrounded by tendrils of yellow energy now, pulsing, holding on, trying to keep the world together.
And as everything shakes, moonshine, Bev, Irlin,
you guys feel yourselves like flashing kind of in and out
of Melora's Demi Plane.
And you guys can absolutely get to Theala,
but first she has two more attacks.
So she swings into you hard one,
trying to like push you back into Melora's Divine Heart.
28 to hit.
Does.
Ooh, shout out to the two crew.
21 to hits.
Oh wait, no that hits.
That's all.
Oh.
Oh.
Goddamn it.
Come on two crew.
Thanks two crew.
That means a hit.
Wow.
Good.
Take 50 damage.
I've plus 10 to hit.
I am down yet again.
Noxu, Noxu back down. That is Balnor's turn.
Hard one. The last thing you see as you start to fade is Balnor in this
demi-plane with you.
Hopps off of the platform of the gods and starts charging up to Theala.
It's gonna take his swings.
Oh yeah, brother.
Hits once. Hits once.
Hits once for 14 damage.
She shrieks and staggers forward, looks pretty messed up,
but still very much alive.
That is Moonshine's turn.
So I'm in this demi plane with everyone.
You can absolutely get there, yeah.
Hey, Irland.
Hey Irland, here's a deal.
I feel like I gotta go down there and save Boundlor's life.
If Boundlor dies and I do a cool spell, that's fun, but not necessarily healing him.
It will be on my shoulders.
You see, Erlin looks at you so serious.
Uh-huh.
I've got him.
Nobody's going to die.
Are you totally sure?
I promise you, Scout Master of Mochai.
I am also cool to just spam heels heels you and I can both just like
Absolutely heel. It's just the question of how I use my high level spells. He gives you the green teen salute scout master moonshine
I'm the healer
Okay, Ellen
I
Will go down there
I will go down there
Wherever they went with pa pa pa pa was gonna go ahead and making a tack with advantage
He misses Falls upside down
Trying to bite the tendrils of energy. I do my spores my final spores and then I turn into an adult gold dragon
spores and then I turn into an adult gold dragon.
Thank you, Theo. I got to be honest. I thought I was on spamming you with cantrib's duty, but y'all give me the opportunity to turn into a gold dragon.
You see, as Tulane disappears, the spiritual successor appears and a gold
dragon appears behind Balnor.
Goodness, we got a lot of girls shine.
So I'm gonna say she threw hard one forward.
So hard one is on one side.
She turns towards Balnor and moonshine the dragon
and is going to use two legendary actions
to do the arcane breath on you again.
Well now I got all the hit points in the world.
Yeah, go ahead and give me a deck saving throw, Mochain.
I got a 25.
That doesn't do it.
Oh.
Oh, hard break.
You take 73 damage.
You see, Boundware goes down, but you are still up.
You see this arcane breath that looks very much like it's
mimicking your dragon's
breath.
Just dragon on dragon as you as this gold dragon stare down, Thiala.
Papa also fails, he goes down.
Papa goes down.
That is the angel's turn.
The angel is going to swing at Biv.
I'm still here, everyone forgot. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh you for. Oh, that hits, my armor glass is now. Oh, actually, I think Shape Change says
that you take the higher stat, so it's 20.
Okay, you take 31 damage, Munchan.
That 20 on my concentration role,
so I'm still dragging.
That is Bev's turn.
Is Erlin still outside of Malora's realm,
or is he in there?
Yeah, you guys are both like up on the platform.
You guys can like jump down and get there and it's turn easy.
I turned Irland and I say, it's really good to see you, dude.
We tried to pull a prank on Diny and it went so bad.
We really needed your strategic mind for it.
Next time, it sounds hilarious.
Did you make sure to board up any windows beforehand?
See, again, that is the sort of acute mindset. Yeah you got to be
safe with your goofs man. I always tell you. He went right through the window unfortunately.
It's a good thing I had featherfall but like really you got to be there next time. We're gonna
we're gonna play so many great goofs. We're gonna play so many goofs. We just got to get through this.
We got to get through this. Are we going? He holds a stand up to take your hand. Let's do it, man. Come
on. Do it. You guys hold hands and you jump off the platform, the court of gods and land
in Malora's Demi Plain. Bev, you have your turn. Awesome. So just so you'll know, my aura
is back up in this area. So anyone that's down, we'll go back up with one HP. Dope. Poppots back up.
Ooh, it happens on their turn.
Okay.
So you easy poppots like Twitch.
Spicey little rodent.
I can't get this rodent down.
I feel safe now that Irland's here.
And I think that I'm going to use
one of my higher level divine smites,
sweets, to try and take her out.
Cool. So I'm gonna do my tax.
Great. 27 hits.
27 does hits. Okay, this is gonna be a fourth level in a
chronic smite.
Oh, yeah, you see the power of a Lord Stormborn sword hoard.
So with a fourth level divine smite, I do 56 damage on my first hit.
Damn!
Oh yes.
Stagger's back, lets out a powerful yell.
You see the world shakes around you.
And the tendrils of energy coming out from the Divine Heart try to hold the world together.
But everything is shaking.
I will destroy this plane if need be we will build a new
Everything is fine just the way it is and by fine. I mean extremely messed up and bad
But we're gonna do the work to make it better and we don't need you here for that
So you can go wherever it is that old gods go when they die and aren't needed. Yeah get husked
Get husked to get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get husked! Get hus banishing smite. Okay, which is a fifth level smite. Damn, okay. That's a 28 to hit. You hit.
Um, that's another 52 damage. Damn. So here's the wording. If this attack reduces the target
to 50 hit points or fewer, you banish it. She is not quite there yet, but she is within like
humanoid levels of hit point. She is beginning to, yeah, she's beginning to just like lose her form.
She's just becoming like a mass of radiant energy.
Okay.
I tried to Husker, but it didn't quite work.
That is Irland's turn.
Irland is going to do a bonus action mass healing word.
He's going to, up to six creatures of your choice.
So everybody, he gives everybody, he'll do it at a fourth level because he's got more fourth level slots
But he does not have any more fifth do mask your wounds. Hey babe. Why don't you take a gander of that amulet too?
It's not a bad idea
so nine
HP to everybody. Oh nice. That's good for pop on now pop is back up.
Erlin is going to go cool idea. I'm actually super exhausted and I have half of my
maximum hit points so I'm just gonna roll over here and hide if that's okay
with everyone. Absolutely. Hey do you want my shield? No I'm okay babe. Hey
everybody um just the gibbering's back on remember
So back on it's so back on I get really defensive. I'm like nobody touch him. All right, okay
He had a fucking rough day everyone just back off give him space. He moves out of the way
She once again is gonna take her arcane
breath What is everybody get on their deck saves? She once again is gonna take her arcane breath
What is everybody get on their deck saves?
24 for moonshine. That's not gonna do it. No, and pop-paw doesn't do it either. Okay. I'm not gonna do it either. Okay
I got a 28 plus 32
Jesus. Yes, you pass. Great. You guys all take
73 damage
Can I split my damage again since I would be taking zero? It's not gonna help many people
I think Bounders pretty much down no matter what hard ones pretty much down no matter what that's correct
It's pretty much not gonna help. Yeah, it's good for you to stay up. You can do damage in here
That is back up to hard one's turn, hard one.
Go ahead and give me a death saving throw.
Gladly.
Shout out to the two crew.
Yikes.
I'll use my last endominable.
Okay.
That's a 15.
Okay.
Great.
Woo.
Okay.
That is the allas turn again.
The allas is going to greedy swords out take some swings on moonshine the dragon.
That's a not one.
This is my first time seeing this.
Absolutely fail.
She fails.
Second one is a 22 to hit.
Uh, does hit.
Um, moonshine you get hit by one of the swords and one of the Ulfgar Axes.
Each one, uh, one of them is 25 and one of them is 28.
Drink it in.
You're hitting against the savior of the dragons.
You don't stand a dang chance.
That is Balnor's turn, Balnor's out, Balnor makes a death save, Balnor passes.
There you go.
That is, um, end of Balnor's turn.
She is reset.
She's gonna do her fucking thing again.
Everybody give me Dex saves.
Not I.
Oh, this time I got 31.
That certainly passes.
22.
Okay, Bev, you take full, you take 70?
Okay.
Moonshine, you take 35. Uh, that is Moonshine's turn.
Ugh, come on.
Just fucking hit!
There's a 21 hit.
No.
Ugh.
Does a 29 hit?
Yes.
Yes.
And does a 25 hit?
Yes.
Okay.
42 plus 24 spores.
Mochad?
Yes.
Finish her.
Yes!
I'm gonna fucking eat her.
Holy fuck. Yes. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha You guys see, BOODSHINE just lunges, just unhinges her jaw, swallows the allahole.
You see this ball of radiant light inside BOODSHINE's dragon stomach, flashes, flashes, flashes.
And then there is an explosion of radiant light that rocks the world.
You see, moonshine, you come out of dragon form, you are knocked back, but you are...
You got radiant puke everywhere.
Radiant puke everywhere.
What did I eat?
So you guys are not quite out of the woods yet.
What?
Yes, after the light settles, you see that the world around you continues to shake.
In fact, it gets more violent.
You look in the center of it all and see that the heart of the world, Malorah's divine
heart, has cracked.
And the yellow tendrils that were coming out of it appear to weaken and slack.
It looks that even with the yellow defeated,
the world is still set to end.
You saw this in the previous timelines
that Alana showed you, a battle of gods
on the material plane will destroy it.
And you guys see your own pieces
of the divine heart glowing in your chest.
Okay, but hard one in B Balnor are still out, right?
Yeah, you see Erlin looks out.
He sees that Balnor is down.
He runs over.
He'll go ahead.
Erlin's exhausted, right?
He is exhausted, but he has-
I go over to him and I cast a greater restoration.
Oh, hey, little thing.
It's good to have you back, young and-
Oh, thanks, kelp master.
He gives you a hug. as he leans in,
you give him a cleansing touch
and you see his hair was like all matted.
He was like sweaty in a way where he was like sick
and you see the sweat kind of goes away
and the color kind of comes back to his face
and his hair gets like fluffy and curly again.
Just making sure you look good for your boyfriend, you know.
His freckles are beaming!
Thanks. Thank you, Moonshine.
He's gonna go over and cast Cure Wounds on.
Actually, you know what? He'll just go ahead and do another mass healing word and bring up
Balnor and hard one. But yes, you guys see,
world-shaking violently around you. Hard one, you wake up.
You might not even know that the all is dead
You just what did I miss cataclysm just shaking everywhere hard one with your final swing you took out the all
Yet again, I fucking knew it team
Where are where is she though? I'm like wiping moonshine's mouth off you get the last bit of the all our way radiant
Spiddle dripping from my mouth
Yeah, she just smithereens bud. Yeah, absolutely destroyed her. Yeah, it was awesome that freakin axiars is cool
But you're even cooler guys
You can you can butter me up all you want, but I know we did this as a team
Of course well, I think hard one Balanore
Y'all got that oh
Papa as well pop up your backup. Yeah, Papa's back up. I think Matt's healing word hit him as well
Papa, I know that you've grown quite fond of
Malores power living in your
mhmm, concave chest, but I was wondering if you were part ways with it for the sake of Malora.
Rian!
You see Papa puffs his chest out, and you see a little glowing yellow lights begin floating out from him
towards the heart of the world in the center of all this.
What a selfless little gentleman except when it comes to food.
Rainer.
It's all men's food aggression, just like me.
I guess that, yeah, I do the same.
I was only ever borrowing this Melora and honestly, you know, you know what?
I was only ever borrowing this to lane.
So I send it back to to lane.
Moonshine, your piece of the divine heart floats out from your chest and joins the heart
of the world.
And I think I whisper into it to lane.
I wasn't kidding about bringing dragons back.
You know, I don't know if it's entirely necessary, but I'm gonna pop my shirt and see if this
thing will float out of me like that.
Hard one. Needlessly pops his shirt. You see, Balnor just goes, ah, come on, man.
I'm not sorry. Your piece of the Divine Heart floats and joins the heart of the world.
Seeing our powerful and intelligent leader, Papa, offer up his heart.
I know that I must do the same.
I walk forward and I unbutton my shirt a little bit.
You could pop that full thing.
You guys don't need to pop, but I don't think mine just came out just one more button maybe one more no you don't I drop the top of my overall
early what do you think one more button yeah yeah all right okay we'll do one more I show off my
three chest hairs uh two moora and the world shit two of those are new. I think he got him during the fight honestly.
Is that bonus action or a vivip?
Yeah, it's that elder champion, it gives me two chest hairs and 10 HP every round.
Yeah, I approach the heart of the world and I say,
this power was always meant for everyone.
And more and now that you have come to embody the world,
so too shall this power be granted to all those who need it.
Bev, you and Balnor give up your piece of the Divine Heart and you It's strengthened. It has not been in one piece. Since Malora and Talaine
split it long, long ago, you have quite literally left the world a better place than you found it.
Yes. Are our Malora and Talaine one now? Yes, you kind of feel, you see, Melora does not return to her corporeal form, nor does Tulane,
but they don't need to.
You just feel their presence protecting the realm in an even more meaningful way now.
Isn't that beautiful?
And you guys see the tendrils of yellow energy come out again from the strengthened heart, and you also see
from below you, deeper down in the mountains, streams of blue lights begin flying up towards you.
You all gave up your power so that the world would have the power to heal itself, and you feel quite
literally the new power of the people of Bohemia flowing past you and joining the heart of
the world.
The stream of blue light, the inspiration you felt from the prayer wall, the manifestation of Bohumius' faith, hope and love, joins the divine heart,
and strengthens it. The tendrils of yellow energy join the blue and turn to green, restoring
Melora's demy plane from this twisted version to the colors of nature. And as the energy passes over you, you feel the love of
your friends who were wishing you well before and during your fight.
Hard one. You like Cobb because he's quick with a joke. He likes you because you're quick
with a laugh. Jane sees you as a younger brother and she's proud of you. Nerman is just proud of the fact that he got to like you before everyone else did.
You say that you keep your walls up, but your mother already knows you and loves you deeply,
and shivu is looking forward to hanging out again.
Munchine!
You asked Mima if some people were once in a timeless body lifetime and she said yes.
When she said that, she was thinking of you, the second coming of her headstrong rebellious sister Maribel
and the first coming of the unique, wonderful, brilliant individual that is you.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Anyone would be proud of a child who turned into a demigod, but Lucana just wants you to come back so you can do magic together
Pendergreens for the first time in his life has a friend a best friend and
He hopes you can come back to hell soon so you guys can quote
Dr. Shirao kick it or whatever maybe own some knobs
I don't even understand what he said, but I mean the emotions coming through
And Jaina is really looking forward to hanging out again.
I was up.
Yeah, I know she is.
Beverly, Cran and Durlin feel blessed that they got to grow up with you and that their
kids will get to grow up with you as well.
Your dad is proud that you followed his lessons better than he did and you did it all while
being kind.
Your mother doesn't worry about you because you found such nice friends, a going loves
you and wants you to come back safe and next to you, in the real world, you feel early
and hold your hand as you watch this all in wonder.
You guys see the realm stabilizes and
Melores demi plane fades
You guys are back in the court of gods still in the sky of Bahumia
But it is no longer raining you look down and see that the tremors and earthquakes have stopped to
The Allah's cataclysm has ended
You feel a slight breeze and as all the makings of a beautiful day, except the sun is still hidden behind the clouds. You
all see on the platform, the platform of the Court of Gods, the unconscious, still breathing
bodies of Ulfgar and Alonus.
Oh, thank the Lord. I was literally going to make a joke about
how I spit up two jams.
They, they look like they've been through hell.
Like they've had, they were a little different than
Irlin. Like Irlin was trapped and kept in a prison for a long time.
These two have had their power drained by the Allah,
but it looks like they will recover.
They look like how Balnor did after the raised dead.
So they're just out, but they're breathing.
You see steady breaths as their chest rises.
Okay.
I mean, should I hit them with a greater restoration right now as well?
It will be in the end of my spells.
I'm trying to understand if that would be ill advised.
I'm just sure that hard one get this one. He's got a little healing left. I feel in my
satchel and I've got a hardcovered book and I take a knee and I open it up for the first
time in my life and I read a passage. Hard one, go ahead and give me an intelligence check with
advantage. See, do I get any of Bebsa? That's stuff, right? No. Okay, it was a 12. Okay, a 12's not bad. That makes sense.
It's above 10.
Hard one.
You struggle, but you get through the words,
table of contents.
This reading thing isn't so bad.
You're too angry.
Just don't do it in excess though.
It's like anything else.
You do it too much.
It saps the life from you.
Hold the book up.
I don't know, Mochan.
This book doesn't seem very biased.
A literal book by Paladin's on how to kill devils.
Yeah, they deliver both sides.
My heart is in.
So hard one, you use this power, the power of reading.
You use the lay hands from within the book and are able to heal and stabilize Ulfgar and
Alonis.
Again, much like Balnor before, these guys are still out, but you see they breathe easier
and they're going to make it and you guys also see near Alonacend
Ofgar you see
Theala is gone
But you see two glowing divine hearts these floating yellow rocks
emanating with power
one that once belonged to the devil as modias and
One to the god palore
What do you guys do with the last divine hearts? Dibs. Yeah, I hold pop pop back. No, pop, you got to taste for it.
I mean, I think I look to Bev because Polore is his God and I would, you know, I'm not his
follower, but I would be honored to return what's his to him.
But you are his follower and I want you to choose.
A part of me feels like this much power is a dangerous responsibility, but part of me
just wants that old light back, that classic light that got me to where I am.
A part of me wants to know that that's there again.
A part of me wants to feel the sun shining down, and just that warmth that feels like summer in your childhood again, maybe it's selfish,
but I think it's okay to want that.
I mean, I think it's okay to keep some things the same if you change other things.
And from my experience in knowing you, Poloord did a lot of good through you.
So I would not be anxious to return that power.
Yeah, maybe.
I know that the Alla said that there was a danger
in letting the wheel continue to turn,
but a wheel moves forward.
Also, a wheel is pretty elegant design. So you know, you don't need to, you can kind of just
upgrade it sometime.
And also if you cast fly on the wheel, then you've got an airship and that's pretty cool.
Hey, I love circles.
Besides, I don't think we need to follow any of the all this fucking advice.
Yeah, that's true enough.
Yeah, she got eaten by a dragon.
I mean, slain by hard one.
She what? She got beaten by hard one. I mean, slain by a hard one. She what?
She got beaten by a hard one. That's what we said.
Moonshine keeps belching,
and I'm really trying to fucking understand why.
I keep burping up radiant bubbles.
Look, there goes another little circle.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Beauty everywhere.
You guys offer up this first divine heart to Polar and see that it floats upwards into the sky, up, up, up, until it disappears behind a cloud.
You can still see its glow from behind the gray clouds until it expands and you see the sun breaks through the clouds.
You can just make out the silhouette of a buff-tan Santa Claus in the sky.
Great job, Beverly. You've done your part. Now let me do mine. It's five o'clock somewhere, baby.
It's five o'clock somewhere, baby. Your God is a pro wrestler.
Ha, ha, ha.
My God is an awesome God.
The sun shines out from behind the clouds,
and you guys see flowers begin to bloom
from the earth deep below the court of gods.
Look at that, a little dozy dough from Melora and Polora.
A little Polora action.
The sun shining on the earth.
No one pick a flower.
Beverly, I was wondering if you could commune with Polora or reach out to your dad in
Shadowfell because I was thinking after we destroy the hellfire crown, that there will be a throne, I think,
that the lady that your dad follows
could maybe turn it into something
really helpful for a lot of people.
Could it turn it into a place that
I wish Maribel had first gotten sent to?
Are you suggesting that we turn the one hells
into a sort of seat of penitence where
folks can go and be judged?
It just seems like when we were there, the reason we kept it around was because there
are a lot of good people who made bad deals, sometimes for unsavory reasons, but we didn't want to just get rid of that. So it seems like, it seems
like she's got something going on that really helps people.
Change change for the better. Yeah. We've given the world a second chance. I think all those
lost souls deserve one too. Yeah, just think of the dead eyes and the maribales and I just want to know
that they will go somewhere that they will be received favorably. Can I use
Balnor as a dad kind of channeling device to get like a three-way call
sweet-a-dad to dad actions? Absolutely. I'm gonna say, like, you guys literal like streams
of energy around you.
You absolutely like, Bounder goes,
what, what are you talking about?
Oh, hey, Bounder, good to see you, bud.
Oh, I could also just put the thinking cap on you.
Great hustle out there.
No, this is fun.
This is way easier.
I'll take Bounder for a sec. Okay, hey, fun. It's way easier. I'll take Balnor for a sec.
Okay, hey dad, we're wondering if you could talk to the Duskmother and if she could talk to Polor
about maybe a bit of a promotion for her. You you think it about taking her operation to the to the outer planes, making her a full deity?
We think it's time for prime time for the Duskmother. We she's got what it takes we think she's got the chops. It's either a promotion or a favor We're not entirely sure we're not entirely sure
But it does come from come with a divine heart, but one that belonged to a devil
Pros and cons so you guys do you guys do know that like
She does have some type of divine heart.
Like, she was like born of the gods,
but you also know that she lives in like a weird pocket plane
that is off from Shadowfell.
So she is not a full-blown deity.
So you guys absolutely can help her out majorly with this divine heart
and kind of take her operation global, like bigger.
Yes, girl, I love a female CEO, hell.
So you see, Bev Senior looks moved,
and he looks happy to help out you guys
through the Dusk mother, and he goes,
I think whenever you all are ready,
whenever you've sealed away the crown,
come to Shadowfell and we can get you in touch
with the dusk mother.
In the meantime, if you could sort of show her
some like monster truck rallies or something like that,
because that's kind of the aesthetic there, right?
Get her amped on the monster trucks.
Yeah.
He gives you guys a salute,
and you guys see returns to Boundoar.
Ah!
I blacked out.
And after a bit, you hear a voice behind you guys, who
has suddenly just appeared on the Court of Gods,
go, you've done it, you have saved us all. You guys see the person that has appeared
here is a woman in a purple robe with long white hair coming out from under her hood. Is that Alannus?
You see a... Purple robe?
A smile from under the hood,
and she goes,
I just can't be mysterious and wizardly around you, can I?
You see, she pulls her hood off.
It takes you kind of a second to recognize her,
but this is Alannus.
She's an elf, so she ages quite slowly, but you see that she's definitely old for an
elf.
You can see they stay ageless for a very, very long time, but towards the end of their
lives, they begin to age, not like humans, but you can tell that she has been around
a long time. And she goes, I have lived nearly a thousand years
across many timelines.
I have traveled back many times
to try to help this world.
And we've finally done it.
I pat Ballinor on the shoulder.
Ugh, yeah, I was there too. You see Ballinor on the shoulder. Yeah, I was there too.
You see Ballinor is looking confused from old Alonus
to young Alonus who's knocked out,
to old Alonus to young Alonus was knocked out.
I cover young Alonus's eyes.
And you see Alonus goes, there are two of us.
One who is native to this timeline and the traveler who came back
to fix it.
I am the traveler.
I have worked with the alonis of your time and she has kept my secret.
She has many as all good wizards do, but my time is coming to an end, and I am here to finish my life's work.
See she reaches her hand out.
It's time to go, Balnor.
You see Balnor looks confused?
What do you mean?
She takes a deep breath and gestures to the world around you at this place
at this time when
The hope and the inspiration of the world is a literal source of power. I
believe I can cast one last powerful wish
To bring you back to your timeline to your village and your family before the attack.
You are strong enough to save them now.
You see Balnor gets a thousand yard stare and he goes, Bobby.
And you see he looks extremely happy, but then he looks at you guys and he looks sad.
It's okay, Boundor.
Like all the most powerful things in this world, I knew I was only borrowing you.
Boundor just immediately begins crying.
And he goes
Are you guys Gonna be okay carrying your own bags
We've got Budler blue yeah, we've got Budler and I'll be honest
He's got some train in a dude
He's got some train in a dude, I feel those shoes. Belnor, thank you so much for being there when we needed you.
But there's a boy named Bobby who needs a dad who needs someone to teach him out of
catch.
The biggest tuna upon is ever seen and to peel the mayo nuts and Belale nor be sure to tell them about the hounds, all right?
He looks at all you guys any smiles and he goes the first thing I'm gonna do when I see my son
It's tell them all about you guys. I think I've got enough stories for a million bed times
Just don't tell him how you broke my heart, huh, by all the more? That's the only reason thing.
I started barking like a dog.
He goes, you're damn right, we're the hounds now.
Being your knight was the greatest honor.
I think it's time for the knight to go home and be the king.
Drawing that card was the only time I've ever been lucky.
Bounder is a fucking mess. He sobs and he hugs you and he pulls you in.
I'll hug him.
And he gives you guys all hugs and kisses.
You see Boundor walks towards Alonus who smiles warmly and rests her hand on his shoulder.
He turns to you one last time and he goes, I left a letter in the contingency cubby.
Why don't you guys read it at next year's
jamboreen so I can be there with you? I think hard one I'll actually do the honors on that.
I'll figure it out by next year I know, or I'm not a fucking hound. I trust that you will.
you will. Oh, oh, oh, oh Alonus takes Boundor's hand.
The two travelers are surrounded by blue light and then disappear back to their time.
I know that this is all real painful for all of us, but if anyone's trying to sort of
put off feeling sadness, just imagine the fucking epic showdown.
He's going to give the people who try to come to his village.
That's going to be a fucking action movie.
It's going to be a thrashing, and I wish I could see it.
It's a happy ending that that hurts a lot somehow.
Yeah. Oh no. Oh no. Action movies always make me cry. So over the next few days, you guys reunite
with your friends. Lucanus follows you to the one hells together. You perform the spell ritual
that he and Jonathan created to seal away the hellfire crown
You create a magical
Plain-ar prison that allows pender greens to seal away and digest the hellfire crown over time
He can regenerate
But you kind of have to during the process
Open them up and perform surgery to create an effect in his body and place the hellfire crown there
So you guys have like like a sheet up to cover him almost like he's open him up and perform surgery to create an effect in his body and place the hellfire crown there.
So you guys have like a sheet up to cover him,
almost like he's getting like a C-section or something.
Oh, good job, tell me just look bad.
How was it, alright?
There is so much take out in here.
Oh, alright, he's out there, leave that there.
He swallowed the utensils that came with the take out. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,. You know the gipsy- Oh, chopsticks, Jesus Christ.
They give that to you.
They give them to you.
Yeah, they give them to you to eat the kung-pow.
Right, you eat the kung-pow,
they eat the chow-pow.
You swallow the fortune cookie hole, wrap it all.
I still don't know how this armor is sweating.
It doesn't make sense.
Or a rabbit or a dog, guys.
Pedagreens, whales and pain.
And you guys seal away the crown.
And Pender greens is forever free of its influence.
You see, in fact, he's kind of powered by it.
You see the gaps in his black plate
that usually look like a dark specter
are now red with fire.
You no longer has to wear the crown it is sealed away.
Oh it looks pretty fricking rad right?
Yeah, it's red trim.
Hey, you know what, the fire...
If this thing gets digested in the next couple hundred years or so,
moonside we can hang out on a material plane.
I was just gonna say, where do you think you're gonna sit,
you're gonna station yourself down
and hear and hell for a while?
Yeah, I think you know, one of my stomachs
kinda settles and I let the crown kinda go away.
I got bad guys right now, not gonna lie,
I'm gonna cook.
You have that before, to be honest.
Maybe I'll give you like a month
before I plan shift down for a visit.
I pretty much exclusively drink Baja Blast.
Uh.
Uh.
Oh, speaking of which, I got this, I give him like a slurpee.
Oh.
Slurpee machine.
Yeah.
And one big cup so you can mix them all.
First time, is this magic so you don't need to buy ingredients.
It just fills it up with a slurpee whenever you want it.
Yeah, I'm a wizard.
You see, Pender Green's Weeps,
for the first time in his life,
and gives you a tender hug.
And then you guys travel to Shadowfell.
This is like a couple days later,
this is over like the next couple of weeks.
You convene with Lydia and Bev's.
Mom!
Mom!
Mom!
Harvon, where did you make all that dirty laundry?
This was all in the bag of holding.
You really need to get your butler on this.
This is insane.
No, I'll do it, I'll do it, I'll do it, mom.
With the help of Lydia Stormborn and the Stormborn Swornhorde, you guys are able to summon
the Duskmother and you offer to give her this Divine Heart, to promote her to a greater
deity, to look over the one
hells.
She accepts, tears rushing down her cheeks, wetting her wimple, touched by your compassion.
Ooh, we got a North Pole daddy daughter special going on.
Yeah, yeah.
We got North South, you know.
And with your guys blessing, the Duskmother turns the one hells from a place of punishment
to a place of rehabilitation a place
Where people can go to change and the plane takes on a new name the ruby dawn
Wow
Fuck yes.
And Papa came up with that name.
Rear.
Yeah, Papa said it specifically to the DAD.
And she just nodded deeply.
You guys see, over the next year,
wildlife returns to the healed Bohomia, seasons change
as they once did.
People begin rebuilding, living together, living
through this together has brought the world closer. The Crick Elves return to the
Crick, but not alone. They're joined by high elves who prefer nature to
libraries, dwarves who have grown tired of the mountains, orcs, halflings and
tieflings. This is an opportunity to start again. So new cities pop up where the
old ones were. They honor their traditions, but they're no longer held back by them. The
reconstruction of society is sped up a hundred times over with the help of the floating city of
Gladehome, a mecca of knowledge. The gates are now open to everyone and their power only grows with each new culture that shares its stories.
And what do you guys do over the next year?
I mean, I definitely want to set up now that you're mentioning how else going to the Crick.
I think we'll definitely set up a little library at the Crick.
I want to make sure there's like a little plaque that says,
this is one way to learn.
It is not the only way to learn,
but it is one way to learn.
Trust no one.
You guys set up a wing of the grandmatchery
that is a library dedicated to.
For kind of the first time,
the Cric's history is written down.
Constantly caviated though.
Constantly.
It's honestly hard.
How many footnote.
It's hard to read because they keep saying this is not the only way.
Remember the wisdom of the whispers of the winds in addition to these words.
Yeah, the ink is very blotted because it is so moist at the Crick, but you know you
get the point. We probably put some air
elementals in there to try and blow off the pages. I think
that Erlin and I we probably follow around moonshine and hard
one on sort of like rehabilitation tour. the Ruby Don tour, as it were.
The Ruby Donathon.
Yeah.
And I think, yeah, we just go around and we, for the first time together, get to fill
his journal with entries of our own adventures.
Yeah, after a day of using moonshine's druid powers and Bev using his green knight powers,
Erlin using his powers as a cleric to heal things.
You guys are like growing a garden in the outside of the new iron deep,
which now is not just like stuck directly in the mountain.
And hard one, you are there and you and the other dwarves and the other humans and elves and other people
are helping rebuild it as well. After a long day of work, Bev and Irlin laid together on the floor
of the captain's quarters of the stormborne and right together in their journal.
I think that I'm there as like a chaperone in quotes,
which is basically just there to make their secret
necking more fun.
One cover.
You like lock the door and make sure that we know
that you lock it.
I'm always like, no, don't get too fresh in there,
but then I absolutely lock the door, go up deck,
no supervision whatsoever. She winked with both eyes. door, go up deck. No supervision whatsoever.
She winked with both eyes.
Wow, that was weird.
She means well.
All right, well, we gotta be quick,
or else she's gonna hear us.
If you say so,
seriously start making out.
Y'all up, y'all up, y'all up.
So the first thing that I would like to do,
tell me if I can do this, okay? I just want to make a pit stop in
Courts great hall just have a beer
Yes, certainly I mean you guys have insane clout right now
With the with the gods as well. I'll even say with the help of like Polores Divine Favor,
you are able to plane shift to Isgard to Quartz Great Hall. You appear in what looks like
just the grandest version of a Viking great haul that you can imagine.
It's like Princess Jovier's keep was like in the autumn court, but this is just massive. Just
impossibly long wooden tables filled with warriors all drinking ale as much ale as they could possibly drink
There's just wrestling matches broken out everywhere you hear the sounds of war outside big open windows that look out onto
Fields of battle you see up on the walls. There are
Where they're normally just be like animal pelts or things like or you know Signs that they've they've gotten these like big trophy kills and stuff. There are giant
monster and devil hides and things like that just these
unnatural
Astral monsters and stuff on the walls and
amongst all the chaos and
all of the people being rowdy and all of the people being
rowdy and all of the revelry.
You see the shape of one man with a hood up sitting at a table by himself in the corner
of the room with another spot across from him.
I think I feel small for the first time in my life
I'm gonna walk around the table and sit in front of him. You take a seat across from your father
Elias stormborn
You see he takes his hood off. He looks like the idealized version of himself, but aged about the same time that he died.
It looked like he essentially was like,
a little bit at a shape, like graying a little bit,
back when he fought Galad,
but he has like a strong black beard and black hair,
but you see like his face is kind of like aged with wisdom.
He looks a lot like you, but you've got a lot of Lydia in you as well. He smiles
and he goes, didn't think I'd see you until the day you died, boy.
Hey, Papa, I'm here a little early.
I'm glad it's better like this. You just stopping by. There was a time when I
thought we'd drink and fight and walk these great halls together but I don't
think you want to be here forever. I don't think that's you. Yeah I don't think so
either but I spent a little time in your skin and I just wanted you to know that
Who knows what I would have done? I might have done the same thing, but you're your hard-headedness. I
Got a piece of that. I got a little bit of mom a
Little bit from some people I found
I got a little bit of mom, a little bit from some people I found. But you didn't make a mistake because you did what you thought was right and how you
all worked out.
You see he nods, then he pulls out a mug, he fills a mug of ale for you, two mugs of ale's
for you and two mugs of L's for you and two mugs.
I say I usually drink too.
Yeah, take that after me as well.
Listen, it means a lot that you would say that, but
I did make a lot of mistakes.
And I'm glad that you're different.
I sure as hell was not plain shifting
to talk to my pop.
I ate, if he was here,
I'd try to break his neck with a suplex, to be honest.
You want arm wrestle?
I would.
Puts his arm out.
Should I roll?
Yeah, go ahead and make an athletics check.
It's a 33.
You see both of your muscles flex as you go back and forth.
You're a little intimidated at first.
It's a little bit of that,
it's a little bit of that like,
oh, I can't possibly be stronger than my dad.
And thus, I am not stronger than my dad.
You start to lose and then you dig deep
and you start to overpower him until you press
his hand on the table.
He got a 29.
Oh, wow.
So you guys slam and there's like a big force
it like knocks the ails over, he laughs.
And he goes, I'm proud of you for kicking my ass,
but I'm more proud of the other things he did.
You're not the second coming to me. You're hard one
chore foot. You're yourself.
Thanks, Dad. I didn't do any of it alone.
What was up? What was up? What was up? What was up? What was up? What was up? All right. Well, it's up. Well, it's up. Well, it's up. Well, it's up. All right. All right.
Well, if you ever want to, like, come by, that would be fine.
Yeah.
I can figure it out.
No, no, totally.
Yeah.
And I might do that.
Cool.
It's been awesome.
And if you want to, that's good.
Yes.
Right.
I know.
It is good to see you.
Yeah.
Sorry.
Yeah.
For everything. All right. No, you're a good. Love you or whatever. Yeah, for everything.
All right.
No, you're good.
Love you, or whatever.
Love you too.
Love you, man.
Peace pushes you.
I waived.
I hardwired.
Sorry.
I got a little drug, so I can't
plan shift those back.
I don't know how to keep this going.
I'll need a xaelic tree.
How many people's here asked did you kick?
The stack of my own China's just been destroying Vikings at Rastlin
I tried to feed quarterberry
Thank you you will stay here and be my berry boy
Guys it worked too well you dad pulls you in for one last Predator Hand Shake.
He'll be a hug.
And you guys, plane shift back.
Munchine does return the thinking cap to Glade Home.
Again, she was only borrowing it.
Thank you so much.
I sent it through the dry cleaner, so it should be all good.
Do you wanna was killed by the dry cleaner?
I'm just kidding, we're not supposed to get away.
Something screamed in there, they said.
I don't know.
As you give it back, you do hear the voice of Do you wanna go,
this was not borrowed, queen of elves.
I guess I'm kinda wondering if maybe you taught me
something that was in me all along.
And then I guess I would try to like,
connect to my fungal matrix without it.
Yeah, go ahead and give me a wisdom saving throw.
33.
Yes.
Moonshine, you feel a connection to all the things around you
and more so the people and the things that you've sent your spores out into.
So, I can be queen without a crown. Thank you very much though, Dioana. You have given me confidence and direction and maybe I need it a little bit of it.
Spoken, like a true queen. You give the crown back to the elves and the elves
once again have their powerful relic and the knowledge of their ancestors. And after a year,
it is time for another green teen jamboreen. Oh, Calais! Cal! Rucolay is good!
Rucolay.
You all return to Moonstone for the first time since you met there.
It's been rebuilt.
It looks a little different.
The bay is a lot bigger.
It looks like the alice cataclysm probably tore into the mountains and the water kind of
rose up and filled it.
But it is beautiful again with the help of the druids here, flowers, fields of tall grass, clear water, the temple of
Molora.
Here has been rebuilt as has the hungry trout tavern.
You see the memorial garden to Mishka has grown in beautifully.
It's a mushroom garden that I made.
Yeah, it survived the cataclysm.
You see, they're relentless.
Two rocks leaning together that form a sort of cave ceiling over it
and under it, beautiful translucent mushrooms grow next to a sign
that says, poise and this do not eat.
But try, just a little.
You guys, um, you guys.
I bought some.
Friends have joined you.
This time for the jamborene.
Erlin, Aguene, Olcab, Mima, Mama, Lucanus, Jaina,
Shival, Luna and her wolves, Cordone,
and the crew of the Stormborn,
Durlin and Cran send off their kids, Moonworn and Beverlin,
to join in with the other green teens for their first Jamboreen,
as a young counselor takes them out for a tour of the swamp.
Don't worry, your kids are safe with me!
You know what, we have to trust him this time?
Baby steps, we gotta see if he's grown.
You see, Cran grabs the counselor.
Or do you a pebble pot?
You have to tell me if you're a pebble pot.
My name is Lenny Pebblepot.
You see Cran just dex him and knocks him the fuck out.
And she goes, all right, kids, I'm leading the tour.
Okay, that's better than my-
I was just gonna cast four side on this unfortunate pebble pot.
That would have punched him in the face.
No, that's so like.
Uh, yeah, you see, crayon and duralin, uh, go out and they lead the green teens in their
daily activities.
Uh, what do you guys do at the Jamboreen?
You're here with all your friends.
Or we get to celebrating.
I want to make sure I have a clear head.
I would like to find a Mishka Beverly Paw Paw the second.
And attempts to make my first drag and friend
who may be the bridge between the pocket dimension and
Bringing drag and so the skies are bohemian. You see cordone is there cordone bows and goes my lady
I believe I can be you have some assistance here
Okay, then let's go wrangle us a dragon. I think
Okay, then let's go wrangle us a drag and I think pop-paws giving me enough
exercise in this. So you guys see Mima and Mama and
Lucanis and the other all the adults go off and
while the parents are off with the green teens the other adults like go into the hungry trout tavern
to go have a drink. And you guys go to the temple of hear shrieking and yells and crashing.
And you see she normally looks complete.
Like one of those people that will just like do yoga, like workout and just like
still look immaculate.
You see her beautiful silver hair is like all messed up
and she looks all sweaty and singed
and she charges out of Malora's temple
and you hear she turns around and she goes,
try to control it, somebody has to be able
to control this thing.
Hey, Shay.
She's like, she turns and she sees you guys
and she's taking it back and she regains kind of her cool demeanor
and she goes, oh, hello, it is wonderful to see you well.
Welcome back to Moonstone.
I heard you had a little problem with a dragon
and I wanted to try my hand at it.
You see she takes your hand and looks at you desperately
and pops it in both hands and goes,
there was a time when I, what a fucking love this.
Please help me this dragon as it gets bigger.
It just acts up worse and worse.
This thing is going to be the death of me.
I wanted it to protect the village
But it's keeping it locked up in the temple
I haven't been keeping it locked up in the temple
It's been out in the gardens with me. It's been everywhere and you see Corridone goes whoa whoa whoa a monochromatic dragon out in these
Gardens it's too pretty here. It needs to be dank. We need to swamp. There needs to be a cave. You can't just
You can't just have it out here amongst the flowers. This thing is bored. It needs to hunt. You know what?
I got a place full of critters. It could hunt
Moonshan you and Cordone go into the temple of Malara and you see Mishka Beverly pop off the second
This tiny black dragon.
It's bigger than a hatchling.
It's been like a year and a half now,
so I would say it looks like it's like a hundred pounds.
It's just like a big dog essentially.
Just this little dragon going around
and breathing acid breath on all of shade stuff.
breath on all of shade stuff. Okay, I take out a little bit of what do you drag and see? Theala. Yeah, I just take out I take out a little bit of
crawfish, John Blyh. I put it into a little doggy bowl. And I say come here baby
you look absolutely starving. Hard one's mouth waters.
You see, Cordone goes, they actually,
they prefer a live prey if...
All right, I guess I conjure animals.
You conjure animals.
What do you make?
Just like, you would definitely eat like a sheep.
Oh, this feels so wrong.
But you're making it, it's like fake.
It's.
You're right, you're right.
This is like beyond, this is a beyond lay on sheep.
Beyond sheep.
Actually sheep, sheep feels too cruel.
And she, this feels too cruel.
I know what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna conjure just a bunch of crawdads.
Okay.
You conjure a bunch of live crawdads,
but they are beyond crawdads because they were created.
So these aren't living ones. And they bigger crawdads. They're called lobsters.
And you see, Michigan Beverly Pop out the second descends from the air, comes down,
snatches a bunch of them out of like the little water bucket that you've left and after eating a bunch of them
Looks like a little bit more sated
But still just looks like a wild animal. It just looks at you with like a crooked curious face
I'm gonna reach my hand out to pet him. Go ahead and give me an animal handling check
It's gonna be a 27 nice
See this little dragon hops up It's gonna be a 27. Nice. There you go.
See this little dragon hops up into your hands, and then like nuzzles itself in your
like spores.
Like it does not want to be here amongst these like pretty flowers.
Oh, you know, be amongst these dank spores.
Come here baby, come here baby. amongst these like, pretty flowers. You know, be amongst these dank spores.
Come here baby, come here baby.
This I agree, this place is a little fancy, schmancy.
I will take you to where the mud flows like wine.
Nuzzles up with you and like a cat who loves you
but will also rip your shit up.
This dragon joins you, just like, purchase on you, but uses way too much claw.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
But Papa just keeps looking nervously at it.
Rear. Rear.
Uh, I popped my head out.
Hey Shay, is okay if I bring him to the jamberine
and also maybe bring him back to the creek?
As long as you take him off my hands,
you can do absolutely whatever
you want.
All right, girl. You see Cordone smiles proudly and he looks up at you, Moon Shine, and
he goes, I believe, from what you've described of this creek, that this creature will be
quite happy there.
Well, I'd be happy to have him. It is the lane of hospitality.
Hard one sort of kicks the dirt and shuffles his feet and tugs on Moonshine's sleeve.
Oh, sorry, yeah, hard one.
I just wanted to ask, well here's the thing,
Mochan, when I left Iron Deep,
I didn't know where I fit in,
and then I met you, and you didn't just let me in,
you brought me in, and you thought I was good.
You are good.
And I wanna keep on living in that world.
I want to be a part of the Crick.
I just want to live next door to...
To old Cobb.
I want to learn from Mama.
Now I want to keep on hanging out with you, so...
If you'll find me a stump.
Harwan, I would be honored. You know, Melfaxually me a stump. Harwan, I would be honored.
You know, Melf actually left a stump.
It's a bit of a fixer up,
but I'll attend to think that fixing things up is your forte.
I saw Melf stump and I actually thought it was perfect,
so let's do it.
Yeah, you saw Melf had a stump right next to Cobb,
so you could be neighbors of Cobb and live at the
Wow, he's a big surrepper Decker hard one. I promise you are gonna love our lazy afternoons and our rowdy evenings
I truly can't wait
I give him a big hug. Hi hug your back
All right, let's go get fucked up.
Hey!
Thank God.
Hey, can you conjure up some more of those crawfish?
Yeah, I can't.
I conjure up a bunch of crawdads, four hard ones.
Yeah, they're definitely gonna pinch you if you're not careful.
I hold my shirt out and sort of like hold them in a bag
that I've made with just the belly of my t-shirt
Do you want to boil them first or no? Okay, you're just putting them right in the mouth. Thank you. Okay
Well, let's you know what how about we all?
Gather all the fire and hard one if you've got a cup in a speaking stone. I think that's all we need
Yeah, can I actually play New Betsy into the speaking stone
into the red solo cup?
Yeah.
So you guys all sit around with the fire together.
Moonshine plays New Betsy.
I angle the cup right at the screen.
Yeah, so that we're amplifying the film.
And the hard one, after a year of practicing reading, you pull out Balenoer's letter.
It was actually a year of not reading at all, and then three weeks of cramming super, super
hard.
He and Papa were in the library for weeks.
Three.
A regular moonshine. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha If you're reading this, I'm dead. Or in a gem or something, maybe, I don't know.
That seems to happen a lot.
Anyway, I'm writing this before we face the Allah,
and I wanted to thank you.
Thank you for giving me a second chance.
My world used to be very small.
I cared for my family, I cared for
my friends, but I didn't worry about the world at large. It took me losing everything
to join the fight. And then I met you guys. And you weren't like that at all. You fix things because they need to be fixed.
You don't wait until you need it.
It isn't about need.
You just help because it's right.
You taught me that we can't have saved the world, that we have to constantly be saving
it.
Me after you, you after me.
I am so proud of you, but I am proud of myself for the first time too.
Thank you for revivifying my gosh dang soul
and know that I will always be there with you.
Whenever you've left a bud heavy, out in the sun, it stays cold.
That's me pulling a fresh one from the cooler in the bag.
Whenever a gentle breeze swings a rocking chair, that's because I've passed out while you
were reading off-guard Ghost Punch.
Whenever you look up and see a shooting star, that might
just be one of the shits I took in space, catching fire and hurling through the galaxy.
I hope that you all get to leave this world with the same comfort that I had knowing that it's in good hands. I love you.
Your night, Balnor. You guys all finished reading and then join your friends
for a drink at the Hungry Trout Tavern. Well, how about that?
And everything ends where it began.
And that's where we'll end our campaign.
Whoa!
Oh!
Oh, my goodness.
God, there we go.
I cannot believe that you just said that sentence.
Of course, it was going to end on that, but holy mollora.
Thorne yes Rose for your brother.
Oh my god.
What a journey.
Love you guys.
I love you.
We're remage, find your lost, broke your back at what cost.
The world ain't kind, but that's alright.
Cause I am here with you tonight.
So lay down your head next to me on big bed
if you need some company.
I won't hog the sheets
And I won't grind my teeth, you can sleep as deep as you need.
One morning, the rafts out will be by your side
With some breakfast and coffee.
The days may be long, but if you can hang on, the nights could be so sweet.
The roads are long, the forest thick.
The band is screwing, the and soar sick. The world don't care what you lack.
But I will protect you from attack.
So lay down your head next to me, one big bed.
If you need some company
I won't walk the sheets and I won't run my teeth
You can sleep as deep as you need
When morning arrives I will be by your side
With some breakfast and coffee
The days may be long but if you can hang on,
the nights will be so sweet.
Hello, friends.
The time has come.
It is the end of episode 100, which means we have arrived
at this fateful moment where we shout out
our benevolent
Council of elders. That's correct. Let's get right to it
I've got Jake here to join me to help me with this difficult, but necessary task. You better believe I am not wearing a shirt
That's right. I popped my shirt for the occasion. I begged him not to
Just wouldn't stop. It couldn't happen. It had to be this way.
I'm wearing two shirts to make up for it, never you worry.
But before we get into it,
I do wanna give a special shout out to our elder Titans.
Yes, that is right.
We have 14 individuals who have been in the Council of Elders
every month since our Patreon began.
Day one.
And we would like to honor them in a very special shout out
We've been the knee in honor of their generous and ample support. They're the eldest of all here are their names
Remember them
Brad D
Dylan B Danny P steel breaker and Scott D beard man Dan Daniel the dastardly name
Deird Man Dan, Danielle, the Dastardly Dame, Schubert the Mushroom, Alainacy, and Haldor Frostback.
Jordan DJ, Jeffrey S, Cutter W, and Andrew M.
Wow.
Thank you, you old-ass Titans.
You are truly the heroes of the realm.
You are a new pantheon, I would say.
That's correct.
Well, we honor you and your names are inscribed
and gold upon the world itself, I would say. That's correct. Well, we honor you and your names are inscribed in gold upon the world itself, I would say.
That's right.
But now it is time finally to honor our esteemed and beloved council members, proper.
Just as important.
Just as important.
Equally so.
Also, yeah.
Also, it's also etched in gold.
Also etched in gold.
It's just the dates don't match up, but we appreciate you the same.
Right.
It's their gold is older. They got that old up, but we appreciate you the same right. It's the their gold is older
They got that old gold, but gold your gold. It's fresh gold. It's still good gold shiny gold
It ain't full gold though. Okay, no sir. No, ma'am. I did it. I'll tell you what
Here we go. Mixologist Michael McD
Balnor's boy Michael C Adam R and Samuel B. Oh, thank you all so so much. Thank you so much
Thank you. You're the best Justin I Jacob C Alena M Dana G and Paul G
Y'all are my G's
Thank you to me. You were all Ali G's that hit British comedy show
comedy show. Buoyakashah, game.
Damial R, Destin C, Jive G, David T and Aaron Sully.
I love flying through the skies of Bahumia with all of you fine champions. It's been an honor and a pleasure.
Careful of those geese, everybody.
Sergio Salazar, Solomon Sakurai, a Sessuani, Michael L,
Trayle, the crayfay, Jury S, and Matt M.
Is that Maddie Big Crits right there?
Thank you.
You know what, everyone here is a Maddie Big Crits.
Now, everyone here is a Big Criter that won't quitter,
and we're proud of you all.
Adam H, Ryan, Angel B, Kelvin Noodles, and Chris R.
Truly, every time I go into the hungry trout in
tavern I buy these five people around because they deserve it and you are
going broke because you go there often I do is there I've got several problems
Richard X machina Sam L Troy McC Drew nasty and Nick, W, Drew Nasty, you nasty. But so are all of you guys on that COE.
Equally nasty, you're just riddled with spores.
And that's just a side effect of listening to our show and we're very sorry about it.
Josh S, Nicholas C, Austin C, Kristen P, and Axel A.
You are the rock stars of this realm.
We attend all your concerts.
You are headlining Fechella.
I'm sorry nobody told you until now, but you are,
but you're gonna crush it.
We're very excited.
You have taken us down to Paradise City, indeed.
Mike H. Matthew E. Catherine S. Shadow and Stefan Niko.
I thank you for a terrible slant rhyme.
Not the shout out you deserved on this 100th episode,
but I appreciate you nonetheless.
Listen, you should know by now that all the rhymes
on this show are slanty as hell.
You better wear firm gripping shoes
if you're gonna step around these rhymes
because they are on a bit of an incline.
You wanna have some grip.
TJM, the gnome barbarian,
trash the traveler,
Robert F, Hunter, LR and Frankie.
Thank you, Frankie, and also all of you.
We love you so much,
and your support means the world.
Kisses, wham, wham, wham.
MMMM.
Zolo, dolo, Nick B,
Burley T, Panima James,
and I am the atlas.
You are the atlas because you hold up the world
that we all live on.
We couldn't do it without you.
Thank you guys.
I would say that all of you are the divine hearts
of our worlds personally.
And if you were to get cracked,
I would just crumble to dust.
So please stay safe out there.
Colton B, J, CC.C. Lulu, Aiden, R, H, and Dave H. Truly,
just a bunch of beautiful tuna swimming in the stream. I hope you don't get caught by
Balnor and you live a long and successful life.
Yeah, keep swimming, folks. Timmy, R, J, Dragonborn, Zach C, Joseph A. and Grace G. G. Tis by your grace that we live
and survive and breathe this wonderful air, this verified air that is the console of
elders.
We thank you yet again.
It's like having 150 Polores light shining down on us.
My skin is getting extremely burned, but I enjoy it because it's a radiant burn.
It's hot, but it's nice.
Lucas B, Jordan L, Talith X, Mateo C, and Kazimir, they all know.
Kazimir must have known that this list of people is good because they can see everything.
I'm so proud of you all.
Thank you so, so much again for everything you've done.
You all have foursight roles forever.
Damn right, you know that, Kazmir.
Kaylee Elise, Barnes and Ador, Christian A,
Yens Christian T, and Luke H. Luke, guys,
I just don't know how much,
how many more ways I could say thank you.
We love you, we love you very much.
I will say thank you as many times as it takes until it feels earned because they deserve it.
Devin W. Chinoa B. Jared E. Persephone and Eric McD. Y'all.
Thank you.
Sometimes.
For the bottom of our hearts.
Yeah, sometimes you just get one. Sometimes the ones all you need. Just a sincere thank you that we don't have to qualify by saying how sincere it was afterwards.
So let's just move on.
You know, because it was perfect.
It was absolutely perfect.
And done.
And thank Reese and S. Big Bad John, Eric and Andrea B. Jonathan O. and Austin, MR.
You know what?
I hope someday we get to go on tour and
visit Austin and maybe we'll meet Austin yeah because that would be really nice
and I don't know if you live in Austin but if you don't you should you should
it's been a pleasure touring your eardrums this entire time and we hope we can
continue to live in there for a little while longer.
Steven C. Maxwell C. Mike K.
Omri M. and Calum L.
I'm gonna go and say it.
These are the five Bollywug kings.
They got five kings now.
They've moved to a council system
and I think that's really gonna improve their democracy
and the way of life with the Bollywug people.
And also, yeah, as the guy that killed the Bollywug king,
it makes sense now that they have five.
Right.
Because if one falls, there's still four.
It's a hydra system.
Like that's, yeah, that's smart.
Mikanji Dan, the red rain, sir slim,
and Keith F. Jr.
You know, Jr., you all are senior majors even in my heart.
I salute you.
I salute you with both my hands and both my feet.
My back hurts a lot from getting into this position,
but it was worth it to give you the adoration
that you deserve.
Karen T.
Curtis S.
Nikki W. Spurs Guy 69 and Keith K.
This is great.
This is fun information that I'm just getting.
They were all the mermaids that waved to moonshine
that one time.
Whoa, yeah.
That's, I think that was a pivotal moment
in the campaign.
And I think that was awesome of you guys.
And thanks for, thanks for making an appearance.
Thanks for not distracting moonshine too much,
but it was great seeing you and it's good seeing you again.
That's right.
Andrew B. Christopher B. Nicholas P. Kevin M. and Rahul N.
You know what?
These are, wow, I just got word that these are, you know, Ryan the Ram survived, thrived,
met another Ram and had some children and these are Ryan's offspring.
That is confirmed.
Oh, these little Ram babies?
Cannon, Ram babies.
Ryan is fine.
Ryan is good.
Wow.
So now the entire family is coming to hunt down hard one, Ram babies. Ryan is fine. Ryan is good. Wow.
So now the entire family is coming to hunt down hard one
surefoot.
That makes sense.
Get ready for the bonus campaign.
Maribel, the Kitty Morphing gnome.
Joe McGee, Meta Amps, Atticusy, and New York.
New York.
Just a lovely bunch of nanorflies.
Whenever you are walking out in the creek late at night
and you feel the warm breeze and the nanorflies
nipping at your nape, it's these five nanorflies
and don't worry, their bite is slightly toxinous
but it's gonna get you just a little high.
It'll make you stronger, you'll be stronger for it.
You're gonna change the way you think.
Yeah, you gotta expand your horizon.
Ha ha ha.
Eric G. Michelle O. Gage M. Gen R number one,
Beverlin fan and Fel Donnis, you know what?
We are your number one fan.
I would say, Beverlin is also awesome.
Yeah. I have a poster in my room
that's just all these names on it.
My wife hates it.
It's actually, yeah, it's right behind you.
Yeah, it's weird. My wife hates the name poster. She's just put up the pink Floyd poster. It'd be
better somehow than this. This poster is on my side of the bed. Okay, it's about my
nightstand. You do whatever you want about yours. Britney B. Redneck Rough. Christian S Jack L and Emilio D
uh these fine folks are some of the brew masters and brew mistresses in
Quartz Great Hall. They make sure that Quartz is getting that good good ale that
keeps him good and fucked up and ready to fight monsters and demons.
Quartz is off the gourd. Y Greck 32, Michael Michael, KM, Tingle the Bard, S-M-A-M,
and Ben A. You know what? A plus, Ben A plus.
And I'll give everybody an A plus.
You guys are all A plus, Council of Elders members.
And I thank you for that.
From now on, your last name is now A plus.
Ben A plus. We talk to the government, and yeah,
that's been decided. Congratulations.
The honors continue when you are a council of elders member yeah those stimulus checks
will bounce now because your name has been changed but um that's fine so sorry
gareth the okay temporal happy birthday buckess woohoo happy birthday
anthony anemander and fatty daddy one eight seven oh my goodness you are all
just a big plate of sliders
that gave hard one the strength he needed
to defeat the all out without your saturated fats
and your cheesy oozy goodness.
We would never have been able to do it.
Thank you all so much.
Hey, I'll even take the trans fats, you know, that good.
Christina B. Marlow E. Richard, J. M. David K. and Pipes H.
Fuck it. I'll say happy birthday to these guys too.
They're gonna have a birthday someday.
Happy birthday, and thank you.
Get it in now.
You know what? It feels like everyone's birthday today.
I'm riding that birthday beam.
I'll tell you right now, that birthday high.
Mike A. The Undead In incinerator, Doug M,
John in H, and Victoria D.
Oh my God.
Folks, that is it, that is our list.
Thank you all so, so much.
Your heroes, your legends, your names, our power words.
Damn right.
And you know what, we'll be saying them all again
on the next Trinneville episode, so don't you worry,
but we do appreciate you helping us out
for this first 100 episodes.
It means a lot.
Thank you so much.
We cannot wait for the next 100.
Y'all are heroes.
Bless you.
See you next week.
Duces.
Bye.
That was a hit down podcast.
you