Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 13: The City in the Clouds (The Galaderon Saga)

Episode Date: May 3, 2018

Beverly is badly injured after his fall, so his scoutmasters hustle to get him home to Galaderon. Hardwon competes with a new rival for Bev's affection, Moonshine tracks down someone she thinks to be the legendary Thiala, and Beverly comes face to face with his greatest fear: his dad. Music/Sound Effects include:"City in the Clouds" by Emily Axford."Beverly's House" by Emily Axford."The Widow" by Emily Axford."Crackling Fire" by sagetyrtle at Freesound.org.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a Headgun Podcast. Hey everybody, it's Emily here to talk to you about Adam and Eve. Who wants better sex? And who wants to start having better sex immediately? The best way to level up your sex game is to go to Adamaneeve.com right now. Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item. Plus free shipping, which includes rush shipping. More than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy. They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority. Plus 100% free shipping

with rush processing on your entire order. Doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy, all will be packaged and sent discreetly. So don't wait, Better Sex is just a click away. That's 50% off one item, free shipping with rush processing. Bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your bedroom. Just go to Adamineve.com and select any one item. It could be an adventurous new toy or anything you desire. Just enter offer code PAPA at checkout.

That's P-A-W-P-A-W at Adamineave.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to the podcast, so be sure to use the code PAPA to get your discount 100% free shipping and get it fast with brush processing. Code P-A-W-P-A-W. Goodbye, Sweeties. MUSIC Welcome to the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast.

Welcome back to Bahumia Everyone. I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Herwitz. Hard one, surefoot. Emily Axford. Moon Shine, Simon. You can take the bitch out the crit, but you can't take the crit out the bitch. And Carl D'Altonner. Beverly Toe Gold. You're a star with a scar. Oh, Beverly is so hurt. Oh boy. Uh, emotionally and physically. Yeah, he's a wreck, he's a mess, he's right fucked. So you guys did level up last time,

so all of our players are level five right now. Boom. Even though it's really funny to imagine Beverly is getting stronger, crumpled on the ground. Hey, experienced. I had a lot of it. He did learn, he did learn not to make God's angry. No more practical jokes on God's.

Beverly, the God pranker. Now I have a title. God pranker's pretty solid. Yeah, I mean, I guess I didn't actually prank him. Right, it was a botched prank. Botched prank. But a botched prank is nothing. Yeah, it's nothing.

It's a failure. When you tell my tales and sing my songs, it's nothing. It's a failure. It's a failure. It's a failure. When you tell my tales and sing my songs, please say that I pranked the guy. Well, I got a song. Oh, boy. So let's do a recap, guys. Last week you guys met Toneth and Tinkel, played by our friend Nathan Yaffe. He was a no-mish wizard slash cleric who had heard a prey tell of a mythical being in

the Glateron Glades who could answer any question. You guys traveled along the Golden Road and on the way ran into moonshine's cousin, Kooter. Oh, Kooter, good to see you. Yeah, Kooter. Kooter informed you that folks down at the Krik are coming down with Krik rot. Krik rot.

A zombifying disease that seems to be emanating from the Krik itself. Do we have to go there? I mean, we gotta save the water. I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna just like get rid of the water and leave it a dry bed. This campaign is all building to going to the creek. I just have a running list of all the insane things Emily makes up.

And someday we'll go there. It'll be like if Disneyland got the Nora virus. So Kuders has been running the sicker Crick Elves up to Glatoron to receive healing from the high priest, Merrick High Hill, but even his magic has only been able to stabilize the sick Cricks and not cure them fully. You also saw Wanted posters for a mystery woman called the widow.

I mean, I know Couture's a, I know Couture's sick and that's all serious, but the widow, huh? Yeah, she's got a really nice, she goes. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you guys, she had her hood up, so all you see is Couture. Oh my. Not a whisker on it.

Full lips. Not a whisker on it, but she's still pretty cute. Yeah. Despite not having a mustache. You guys made your way into the Galatoron glades and found the tower of the Watchmen. But first, you had to earn the trust of Uku and the other Goliath monks who protected it.

After a few bumps in the road, you guys passed the Watchmen Trials and were permitted to climb the tower. You a few bumps in the road, you guys passed the watchman trials and were permitted to climb the tower. You defeated the ghost in the tower, then met the watchman. The big spectral head with dozens of spider-like eyes, and you were each able to ask a question. Munchine found out that the crick-rot couldn't be cured by normal means and was demonic influence. Hard one found out that his parents' names were Lydia and Elias Stormborn. Tonithin found out the location of the three heroes,

the Aalyn Ulfgar, headed to Galatoron and Alannus, was not on this plane. Beverly found out that the reason his amulet had cracked was because the Aalyn had broken her packed with pylore. Huh. Beverly then attempted to trick the all-knowing god into eating a poison berry. It was promptly thrown from the tower

where he almost died. Holy shit. I mean, like 50-50. Saved only by the mechanics of D&D. We were talking about how when you fall every 10 feet, you take a D6 of damage, but there's a max because there are certain spells and skills that allow you to throw people, like bones off of towers and stuff. Your bones can only get so broken.

Right, so there's a max amount of damage so you can't like spam damage and kill legendary beasts and whatnot. And you know, Beverly is alive because of that. Because of the true God of D&D mechanics. Oh, but the true God of this world is the direct messenger. So right now, let's talk about the consequences of Beverly's fall. Yes, that's where we'll begin.

Beverly, I need you to roll a D4. Okay. And your goal here is to get as low as possible. Oh, boy. All right. This is about the size of the scar. Oh, he is so hurt. This is about more than just his body.

Oh, I got a guess what it is. Okay, here we go. Go ahead and roll a D4. Get low So high. That's a three. That's a three. Okay. Okay. All three of your healing potions shattered Cool fair. So they're gone. All right. You lost your healing potions So as you guys Lapping up the broken, laughing up the- Papa get. Papa you look so healthy. Papa was super healthy right now.

He looks great. Papa's so strong. Your your coat is shiny and slick as a newborn seal. Papa were your teeth always that sharp as light? Like that. Papa are you doing push ups with all four legs? Your pecs. Your nipples are so pronounced.

so many pecs and so many nipples. papa is just as big as a bully rug now. just a possum man. papa, are you always going to be a cat? what else happens? barnaby, tannathins owls, stabilizes, bevelies, but bevelies. i ripped off a fewer call.

i ripped off bevelies, young beves, humor patch. yeah it's gone. do you shine in an act of inhospitality ripped off that patch? So Beverly, you are at 1HP now and conscious. Great. You don't feel your legs. Not great. Not great.

OK, I feel like I'm just laying there unconscious on the ground? You're at 1HB. You're conscious, but you're like in shock. You are so hurt. Hard one and moonshine. When you give him a look over, you see his legs are just completely shattered. Bones poking out. Just nightmare.

Hard one takes his ass out of the eye. No. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! The leg's got to go. I think we could probably save him.

I know some good doctors. I have a pediatrician. Oh, I'm trying to remember how many spells I had left. I don't remember how to spell that. Alright, we'll figure it out fast because hard one just removed his belt and tied it in a... It has been biting down on the leather. Um, can I just try a cure wound on his legs? Uh, yeah, go ahead.

Okay. Am I even able to talk or am I just out of it? You can talk. You're probably pretty hysterical. Cool. Yeah. Okay, young babe, calm down, calm down. Okay. Seven plus seven, 14. 14, you healing for 14? Yeah. Okay, young babe calm down calm down. Okay.

Seven plus seven 14 14 you healing for 14. Yeah cool. You see his the wounds on his legs start to heal out Yeah, they're the ones that said the one over the front of up and you see his legs look like Skin bags full of broken bones. Okay. Y'all forgot to heal the bones? Y'all, I would not be a craig if I could not admit my limitations and I do not believe I can heal bones. You see, Uku walks over to you guys. He puts Jonathan down and some of the monks take Jonathan away. Bye.

Bye, Jonathan. Uku walks over and goes, oh man, were you somebody a dick to the god? He tried your fucking berry prank. I told you not to do the berry prank. I thought he think it was funny. I thought that God's had a sense of humor. Pellor has a great sense of humor. Pellor is the god of laughter and mirth.

Young Bev, look at the hole in your patch sash. And tell me if you have a good sense of humor. I don't have anymore I think I've lost my sense of humor for good. I'm not sure why you had the patch in the first one. Yeah Why did you do to get that patch? You have to do one stand-up set Doesn't have to go well You only have to bomb once You have to get one clap Scoutmaster Danny gave him a mishuman patch.

Yeah. Scoutmaster Danny was hilarious. I can't believe Scoutmaster Danny has continued to ruin your life. I think I need to replace the humor patch. With a forgiveness patch. We got to try to fix your legs. Yeah, so can you, is there anything to be done

for this kid here? Well, we've got a few clerks around here. They're pretty low level though. I mean, you know, you hurt anything to be done for this kid here? Well, we've got, you know, a few clerks around here. They're pretty low level though. I mean, you know, you hurt yourself to a certain point. You're kind of screwed, right? You know what I mean? Maybe we could take him to Galatoron. What's the, uh, Merrick Highhill?

He's the high priest that heals the quick route, right? Oh yeah, he's helping my people. I've been to his office before. I, his pediatrician. He's helping my people. I've been to his office before, I, his pediatrician. Wow, you're like 15, kid. You're still going to be a nutrition, Jesus. I like the lollipops. Also, have things age slower.

That's absolutely true. You're like human eight. All right, you know what, why don't we bring them into the temple? Why don't you guys take a rest? Well, you'll them as best we can make him like a little backpack. So you hard one can carry him. That'd be kind of cute I'm gonna hold her this kid Ooku, do you know if If young bev is in danger of just like do we need to young bev earmuffs?

I put yeah, I cover my ears. Um, he's still in so much pain Beverly. Your legs are shattered. Do you know what? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. What's hard one on us? I've been doing it. Do we need to sever these appendages?

You know, the cure wounds that you did probably, you know, clean up the wounds and stuff, but he's pretty messed up. He's going to need like a greater restoration spell or something that you did probably you know clean up the wounds and stuff But he's pretty messed up. He's gonna need like a greater restoration spell or something You need like a really high level cleric to help him out here and you don't have any clerics like that here Do you not not that high level no? I'm just I'm just I don't need a rest. Do you need a rest? Um, I mean we can if we're just getting I mean later on, is it a safe path to go later on? Yeah, you can just take the road. Okay, yeah, we can boogie.

You can cure this little kid. Um, I can cast Long Strider on you to try to um, mitigate any inconveniences of wearing a young boy as a backpack. I can handle it. Boypack. Okay, I guess I'll cast them myself that I'll be real fast. Actually, let me cast it on Papa so that he can just go so fast. Oh, Papa is really strong right now.

He's all right, Papa. He's just scrambling around faster than you've ever seen. He runs in and out of the illusion. So healthy and fast. Okay, yeah, let's hit the road. Yeah, if you cast it on me, maybe we could put Bevin' like a little wheelbarrow or something and just get him to, later on. I suggested the backpack.

I thought that would be cute. All right, no gang. Backpack seems fun. I mean, his legs are super broken. You've got a time around your waist. He dies legs around. You could just have them out. Ow, ow, ow.

Oh god, these saxolus bones. Let's go. Can I take the earmuffs off? No, okay. No keep mine. Teen's dead. So round all throughout the forest. Green. Teen's here we are. He fucked up more than his legs didn't he? Shattered legs. Shattered legs is so making questions. I will tell you. And he also has a huge scar on his face. Yeah. I was the okay, I'm sorry. making questions i will tell you just got on his face yeah i was the ok i'll tell you i appreciate the the sunshine in young bev spirits even in the face of the cloud of adversity i'm trying to you know i i i i feel like maybe pelora's trying to tell me something here either i should trust him more trust him less i haven't quite decided yet but yeah

was that pelora testing your faith i mean mean, do you believe is Polora sort of an Abrahamic sort of a vengeful deity? Polora's all about spreading light and goodness and joy, and that's what I was trying to do with my Barry prank, but it- I think you just tried to pull a goof on a god, you know, and you just, that's the number one rule of the whole god. Listen, where is it?

Yeah, I feel like I think that by letting me live, Pelor might have been trying to tell me something, but I think I need to speak with the, I need to, I need to talk to Thiola. I need to find her. I need to talk with the high priest in town. I just need more information. Before we do any of that, let's try to make sure

that your bones don't fall out of your ass. Yeah. Yeah. Let's get you to Galena. Yeah, my legs are soup. Let's fix this. So, Uco helps you guys. He brings in some of the monks.

They put together a little hide backpack, like a baby backpack, where it's basically a baby urine. It's a baby urine. I pull one of the monks aside and say, can you just like quick fashion one of those for pop? Oh. He nods and he makes a quick one for pop off

Pass some pouch can you make it like sort of like a little kangaroo pouch so I can wear them like I'm his mama Roo and do a berry and Take you guys now look like really fucked up young parents You just have a possum in a baby beorn and a backpack with a boy and it's a crippled group of legs hanging out but you look like such a good partner hard one because you're like contributing and carrying. That's nice. It's kind of parenting I never know. Yeah, it's just hangover.jpg. So are you guys heading out to Glateron? Yeah, let's get there. Do you want to do the long strider thing? Yeah, yeah, long strider. So hard ones real fast. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe you try and

scoot real fast and me and Papa will come as quick as we can, but we may fall behind. Beverly makes an ambulance noise with his mouth. We will, we will, we will. Hard one puts on ear most I like to imagine that Beverly's acting exactly the same as he always does, but he's also crying the whole time I definitely save the way that Beverly's it reacting. I don't think he learned anything We give him a little bit of the the crack the the crack moonshine. Oh It's just quick water yeah, I just say. What is it called? It's just Kirkwater. Kirkwater, yeah. I just say young Bev, I know you got a taste for this. Let's not, let's not pussy foot around this. And then I just let him chug some Kirkwater.

You're going to have a walk me, we're going to have a walk me down. We're going to walk me down. You feel great. I hope I can walk me down again. You can't even, you don't even remember that your legs are horribly broken. It's you're going me down. I think that I just like for full clarity, giving like a peek inside Beverly's brain,

he's just trying to put on a good face for his scout masters, but Beverly's fucking torn up inside about what has happened. Yeah, I'm bev. Cool. And now Beverly has to admit to his dad that he fell out of the tower. We're gonna try to heal your legs before you see your dad. Yeah, I think I whisper that to you.

I'm like, please tell my dad find out. Done. All right. So you guys get motor in. As you head to Glateron, let me give you guys a little background on Glateron. Remember how we do that? Yeah.

For Ezreal Moonstone. So let's do it for this. So Glateron is one of the most influential cities in Bohumia and the capital of the Humanoid Empire. Before the war against Osmodius, the city was run in Bohemia and the capital of the Humanoid Empire. Before the war against Osmodius, the city was run by a king and a council of elected officials. But during the war against Osmodius, king Henrik Asigar was killed in battle, leaving his 10-year-old son Robin in charge.

The boy king was not fit to lead, and without a strong leader, the council was caught in constant political gridlock and was slow to act on the growing threat of Asmodius' army. Finally, Theala, Ulfgar and Alonus convinced the boy king to dissolve the council and replace them with a single advisor who would be quick to deal with the dark army. Theala was the first advisor, commanding the Glateron army and toppling the cursed city of Asmodia. Once the war was over, Theala disappeared and was replaced by high priest Hubert Duncap, a geriatric cleric whose borderline incomprehensible.

But now, Merrick Highhill, a highly capable cleric, friend of the green knights and priest of the nature domain is about to take over the position. Oh. You forgot to mention that he's also a pediatrician. And he's also a very Beverly's pediatrician, right? Maybe the old guy who's about to get replaced. Hubert Duncap.

That's, can we just pause? That's a great name. A plus name. Thank you. I love that a lot. You can tell he's useless by his useless name. Yeah. So you guys approach, later on, aka the city in the clouds,

the castle on the crag. There is a giant bridge that arcs from the golden road to the mountain where the crag. There is a giant bridge that arcs from the Golden Road to the mountain where the city sits. It's a mile long uphill climb, but boy, is it majestic. It's a beautiful... Fuck, I love this in the tree. It's a beautiful spring day,

and the bridge is full of people excited to enter the city or excited to be off on whatever adventure they're about to embark on. There are brightly colored hot air balloons transporting people from the lower part of the city to the top, you can see a tram. Trashine definitely clocks this, and it's like, if we have a day off. You can see a tram snaking its way down the mountain,

occasionally disappearing into the tunnel system deep in the mountain. Nights in beautiful plate mail wave wave from hovering airships, and you can just catch sight of the castle standing at the top of Glateron. It spires hidden in the clouds. Ooh, la la. I think the troll weather,

I would get rid of those clouds and get a peek at those spires. Drew mountain is way nicer than mine. Ha ha ha. Thank you. I shakeily whisper to moonshine, I have a season pass on the balloon rides. You actually do.

That is out. So the poor people, not even poor, just middle class, lower class, they take the tram and the people who live in upper later on, they have a hot air balloon that takes them up Can we walk up to one of these hot air balloons and show them Beves up broken golden foot

You absolutely can so as you guys Swag my broken foot almost like using a passed out person's finger to unlock there No, it's like my fucking metro car. Yeah The best pass at Disney Vanger to unlock their it's like my fucking Metro car. Yeah, I The fast-passed Disney So as you guys approach the balloon you see a Crick elf guy with a eye patch leaving the tram system and he's got a giant blunder bus. Do I know him? Yeah, you do recognize him. Oh, I do recognize him. This guy is known

there. I know that face. This quick elf right here. Yeah. Um, I'll hold on. I'm gonna go over and I just I go over and I do like an intricate crick can shake and see if he reciprocates. So this guy, unlike the other Crick Elves, who are very hospitable and stuff, this guy is an old kind of grizzled Crick Hunter, and it's not that he's not hospitable. It's just that he's a little bit more serious, so you go to do the handshake, and he's kind of just a couple steps behind you,

like moving real slow. Uh-huh, how you doing, Moon-chan? It's been a while since I saved. Yeah, what's your name? It escapes me right now. I saw your face, though. That didn't escape me. Oh, you know me, I'm old Cobb.

Oh, Cobb, we'll get the heck out. What sort of crack you catch to get here? You know, something might ride at the creek. Yeah. So I came here to make things ride. What's you hunting with that blunder bus? Who's tasting the fruits of that blunder bus? He pulls out a wanted poster of the widow.

And he says, I tracked the widow to go later on if I found her that's 10,000 gold pieces for old cob. Wow. Well, if you catch her real quick, could I just have maybe 10, 15 minutes with her because oh Lord, what I wouldn't give to just be a crumb on her coffee cake. If you know what I mean. Pretty face like that. We can't even see your face. Yeah, I know.

I know. Just great jawline. Anyways, go on. I'm so sorry. He doesn't laugh, but he says, that's really funny moonshine. Oh, God, I forgot. I forgot about you and your vibe. I love to laugh.

Oh, I'm so sorry. I've been so rude. These are my compatriots. I love to laugh. Oh I'm so sorry I've been so rude these are my compatriots I got hard one. Where is my hospitality? How you doing hard one? I'm old-time hard. Yeah good to see you man. How are you doing? I'm fine thank you. And who's this little fella with the broken spaghetti leg? I've really good. I've definitely told very nice to meet you. I see several spots right now. Well, yeah, I'm trying to get me that reward so I can bring in some clerics to the creek, make things right.

What an honorable cause. I'll tell you what, we have got to get this little spaghetti leg guy to a cleric and in there and we're gonna hitch a hot air balloon to do that but oh you're hot for looting and go later on here. Well, we got a golden ticket. Yeah. That is a nice boy fun. Yeah, polished to a high sheet. Thank you. Yeah. Um, so, but perhaps we could rendezvous on the other side in the city. I'll tell you what, Moon Shine. And he hands you a stone. This is called a send and stone. Give you a direct line, old cub. Who's half a looting now?

Wow. Pulling sendin' stones out your pocket like it ain't no thing? I got a lot of speakin' rocks. My parents won't let me have one of those until I'm 16. Okay, well yes, I will absolutely be hitting up the sendin' stone. Will you hear anything about the widow? You give old cobbacol, all right? Okay, or if you know we might head up a tavern if all goes

well with the cleric today, in which case I'll also use that send-in stone. Is it a one-time kind of use thing? How, how lax can I be with this send-in stone? Let's say you can beat, I think normally you can only use it once, but it's funnier if you could use it for a while. So this is kind of just a burner cell phone you can use to call all cops. We might in drugtall you later depending on how things go. Oh, God. You know what, believe it or not, a lot of people say I'm not fun to hang out with.

So, what a great time. Kind of brings it to your old cops. I know when that you might want Kinda brings a tiered old cobs. I know when that you might wanna get a drink with old cobs. Yeah, honestly, I remember getting drinks long time ago with old cobs and just emptying all the bullets out the blender bus and just putting funny things in it. I love putting funny things in my cup.

I don't know how old cobs that such a sense of humor. I don't know what I'm up. He's the funniest guy at the crack. I like to goof around. Really? I give him a cobalt to put in his blender bars. Oh, well like that. You see he puts a tooth in his shoes. There was already a bullet in the chamber.

There's a huge explosion. Oh, he did it right here. Okay. Why don't you guys get going? I think I'm gonna get in trouble with these guards here. Yeah, you better hold it. See you later, old cop. See you later, old cop. Thanks for the stone.

Before we go, definitely abuse it. I also give him a business card for my, my podiatrist. Or no, okay. Not my podiatrist, my, my pedicurist. So if he wants to get his feet done all fancy. Oh, thank you. I might get myself a golden foot.

You'll never feel better. Honestly, every step is a blessing. Send and stones and golden feet. Oh, Cobb. Let's tell you these boots I walk on a panty. I tell you what year it is. Ha, ha, ha, ha. It's a whole Cobb humor for you there.

I laugh and then puke up a little blood. Yeah, we gotta get this kid to up. Oh, you better get that kid out of here. Yeah, it's a bit of a situation. So you guys walk over to like this little dock. You enter the hot air balloon, the basket door closes, the pilot ignites the burner and you're off. Suddenly you have a view of the ocean

and you're level with a lot of the airships and you see thousands of people entering and leaving the city on the bridge now as tiny as ants. The balloon settles on a dock roughly three quarters of the way up the mountain. This is upper Galatoron, the rich part of town where the towgolds live. The only area of the city higher than this neighborhood is the church district, full of a few grand cathedrals dedicated to each of the major paladin slash cleric factions, and smaller churches dedicated to other deities. Then of course, there is the King's Castle, which sits higher than everything else in Galatoron.

So you guys exit the dock and enter this well to do neighborhood. It's the fantasy equivalent of the Hollywood Hills. Just beautiful mansions built into fantasy equivalent of the Hollywood Hills. Just beautiful mansions built into the side of the mountain. Some of them with big dome observatory so they can look out into the stars at night. And there is of course a path that winds around the mountain and allows you to get from house to house. So Beverly, you know how to get to your house. Right. I do not go to my house. I guess I, well, there's the church district,

but would there be like a clinic or a hospital nearby? So your situation is bad enough that you need high priest, high hill to help you. Okay. And you're not going to be able to get him without your dad finding out. Oh. Okay.

So I can either be crippled for life or tell my dad precisely those are the options. Alright, I take a big breath and say, guys, I think we need to call my dad. Wow, are you sure you don't want me to chop off your legs? It's nice to have that in our back pocket as kind of a backup plan, but I'd like to use my legs again, maybe. So I direct them towards my house. You're in my like hanging off my chest, right? Right. So I like to imagine you're just pointing and I feel like you're using Beverly Maps right now.

Yes, I got the way. Great. So Beverly guides hard one, who guides? Moonshine and Paw Paw. Moon Shining is peaking in every window she can. Oh my goodness. Well, it's pretty private. There are like hedges and stuff blocking some of the houses

and arcane barriers. So as you go to like, Moon Shining doesn't really understand privacy. So she assumed like she's not doing it to be sneaky. She's assuming that. Yeah, you see one gnome reading a book on his couch just makes eye contact with you. And it's like, I shoot him a thumbs up, but kind of mess up a little bit. He closes the blinds on you. How many how many pies does moonshine steal off Windows?

Oh, these people don't cool their own pies. That's sure they, you know, they have chefs. So you guys get to Beverly's house. Pop-hop makes them look in a couple of lawns. You're just trying to get, like, killed by the going around cards. We're going to get to Beverly's house. Dog, we are always. Just grab, but you describe Beverly's house to us.

You got it. So you guys get to Beverly's house. While a normal hobbit hole is built into a hill, this is built into the actual mountain. It's got the big rounded hobbit door built right into the rock face, and you can see windows spread out across three floors. This hobbit hole is more like a hobbit mansion. So yeah, you're at your door. You also see on the third floor is where Beverly's room is.

You see that he has a little private balcony with a telescope on it. Sweet old boy. I, that's awesome. I do the special knock. Beverly knocks on the door and you hear from the inside. Martha Beverly saw it, would you open the door? That's my mom. Ruby, all that, is that my mom?

Martha, open the door. Open the, all right, I'm getting, wait. All that, is that my mouth? What's the open, the, open the, all right, I'm getting, I'm getting. Beverly Togold, the fourth, opens the door. This short, half-ling man, in casual nobles clothes, so he's just wearing like a nice silka green shirt and brown slacks. And he looks like Beverly,

but with a salt and pepper mustache and black hair. Oh, shit. And he looks at you guys. Daddy, I messed up. Daddy, I messed up real bad. What the, he looks at your legs. Oh, what the, Beverly, I swear to pee. What'd you do to your legs, Bev?

I fell, dad, I fell. Oh, Martha, come on, see what Beverly did to his legs. She see, his mom comes down and she's got, she's this little half-way woman with big, but she curly brown hair and she goes, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, I'm gonna, mama, I'm gonna go get, I'm gonna go get you a sticky bun, honey. And she runs in and out. And I need a sticky bun, I need a doctor. I need a I need Mara. Come on. I need Dr. Mara. He turns. You know you guys should be equal parts proud and ashamed of your son.

He did some heroic things. I'm very very stupid. Hey, were you trying? Hey, were you driving the carriage when this happened? No, look he I paid a lot of money for that carriage sir. Okay. I don't appreciate you crashing and breaking up boys daddy. No, no, no, no, no This is this is got little legs. He's got very very strong legs. You got to give your son a little more crit This was not a carriage accent, okay? Yeah, I am not tipping for this okay. I'm not tipping Oh, you think I'm a bucket. Yeah, you think I'm a driver. Yeah, you think I'm higher You think I'm a hired guy. Oh I'm a driver. Yeah, you think I'm higher. You think I'm a hired guy. Oh

That's just unstrapped that for my back. Let him fall into a sack on the floor. Oh Yeah, what what that happened? I'm so sorry daddy I was I was at the top of a really tall tower and I and I tried to do a little joke You know how I like to do a little joke so did the stand-up before and I got my patch. There really you goofed I goofed pop up. Did you got yourself hurt? I goof before and I got my patch. Barely get goofed. I goofed, Papa. You goofed and you got yourself hurt. I goofed and I got my stand. What about you? I tell you about Goof and Goof and only Lee. Never wanted I tell you about Goof.

If you do a goof, you end up a ghost. That's what you always say, Papa. That's right. You remember what happened to your uncle Ronald, right? I remember Ronnie. He's goofing around in a hot air balloon. He fell off. He fell right off.

I'm sorry about your Uncle Ronnie. That's not entirely how this... You should be proud of your boy. We did some good things too, Papa. You know what? Beverly, I was gonna give you a new sword for your graduation, but now you get nothing. Oh, straight to your room. No, I need to go straight to your room. Wait, don't get that, that, that, I go straight to your room.

My legs are really messed up. All right, all right. I'm going to get, you know what, a high priest high hill is a busy man, but I'm going to get them on the line. Okay. You, all right. Look, I'm not teapin' you,

but I'll give you five gold. I'll take five gold, yeah. Yeah, these are my new scout masters. I'll take the five gold. I give them what to alcohol. I give get a much alcohol. Yeah, scout master Our master Danny deputized them. Don't worry. They're okay Danny's a numb nut. All right. I couldn't agree more. I'm moving shines How you doing Beverly toe gold the fourth you killed my son

Well arguably I saved him quite a few times. Yeah, you should have chewed. If you think his legs look bad now, you should have seen it. Daddy, she healed me after I fell. I wouldn't be alive without her. When you say, your legs are still jello. It's true, but they're not anything as much. Turn your legs into little sacks for your broken bones. Well, for peace, sick, Bev.

All right, well, thank you, I guess, for bringing them back in one piece, even though his legs are skin bags. Today, I want one piece, though. You're walking sticks, Bev. I can't look at them. Just don't think they look at them. I can be doing. All right, you know what?

Everybody inside. Everybody goes up to Bev release room. OK, everybody's grounded. One, two, three. He points out three. Oh, yeah. Don't we bring Mom ball inside? Yeah. Oh my goodness, you got, you know what?

I'm a green knight, he takes a deep breath. Love all the animals, even the weird ones. Bringing your dang possum, okay? All right. Thanks Papa. Cool, so you guys hope in the door to go into the living room, it's large, but cozy. There's a fire going in the fireplace.

A broomba is sweeping the floor. And you can smell Bev's mom's famous sticky buns cooking in the kitchen. There's a beautiful oak dining table as well as antique furniture and some cozy sitting chairs near the fire. Yes, you guys walk in. There's all this yelling for Bev's dad and everything of Bev's mom just walks and goes, oh honey, have a, you should have a sticky bun.

And she gets you guys all sticky buns. Do you have any, do you have any mellow cream to go with these? Oh, of course, of course. Thank you, mama. Ma'am, this daddy's going up to his room. He's not getting any sticky buns. Uh, hard one. You want me to stick you bun? It's far too sweet. I already ate mine. I got yours. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs.

They're a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered. Now we all know when the legwear war begins and we're forced to choose a side, it's going to be difficult. Luckily, Bird Dogs has made the decision of which pants and shorts to buy a little easier. Bird Dog stretchy khakis are designed to fit slimmer through the thigh and leg to give you a truly sculpted look. And instead of making their clothes out of restricting cotton, Bird Dogs invented a cloud knit fabric that looks just like khaki but stretches so you get a way

slimmer fit without having to sacrifice movement. And trust me, you are going to need all the movement you can get when you and your brothers and legs are out there on the battlefield kicking the shit out of your rivals. So when the lower body battle begins and brother is forced to kick brother, make sure you are wearing bird dogs. To get yours and a free Yeti-style tumbler, go to birddogs.com slash pop-off or enter promo code pop-off at checkout. That's birddogs.com slash pop-off or promo code pop-off for a free Yeti-style Tumblr.

You won't want to take your birddogs off, we promise you. Okay, that's it for me, go team pants, and enjoy the show. He broke his dang two-walket sticks. I need you to come by. I know you're busy. I know you're busy. I Swear to pee. I know it but you come out here and you know You'll be doing you'll be doing the total goal to solid. I appreciate it my friend So you guys we're up in the room you guys get up to bedroom He's got a beautiful artists rendering of the three legendary heroes with the Allah standing in front Various green teen badges all over the wall and nicknacks science kits and weird nerd kid shit like crystallized bugs And then he's also got this tiny private balcony with a telescope

I can't believe I agree to crystallize bugs. I take one of my hand and I attempt to free it No, it was it was it was dead before I crystallized it, don't worry. It was you main. It's a part of my Green Night training. I got to study it. They were like trapped in Amber. Yeah, they're long dead. I backed out.

I like that I've agreed to play this game where Merth just razzes me for my life to start. That's right. It just combines all of our dads into one mega dad. All right, so I guess I'm probably That's... It just combines all of our dads into one mega dad. Ha ha ha ha. Um, alright, so I guess I'm probably on the bed now. So yeah, so you guys are in this room. Um, uh, Bev is on the bed.

I do have, uh, I do have Pellor bed sheets. They're adorned with like a sun emblem, I would say. I'll me enter out to the patio and start looking in people's windows with that telescope. That's, again, innocently, Moonshine has no understanding of friends. Where would they have these big dome windows if they didn't want people to look?

Yeah, they got all these bit, letting all the sun and all the pepers in. I am a Paul because that's what I do, but I don't tell anyone if that's what I do with it. Are you using the telescope to do it? Yeah. Okay, cool. You's what I do with it. Are you using the telescope to do it? Yeah. Okay, cool. You look into the house next door.

I'm just whistling a tune. Which is another, which is another halfling hobbit hole mansion. And there's a window and you look into it and you see an older gentleman who looks a lot like Scoutmaster Denny. He's just sipping some cocoa, and he just makes direct eye contact with you, and he holds up his mug like to say hello. Oh, moora.

You live next door to Scout Master Denny? I mentioned that. Yeah, we're all family friends. Our dad's new each other. Oh, moora. His dad's name is Duncan Pebblepots. They're the Pebblepots. The Pebblepots. The Pebblepots. They're the Pebblepots. The Pebblepots.

The Pebblepots. Oh. Tint Pebblepots. Satoriously Craven. Yeah, I don't need so much Craven, uh, Cravenness in my view. Yeah, I put the tell-scope away. They've done a lot of deals together. I guess, yeah, make yourselves at home.

What's the ceiling situation like for me? Since this is a mansion, they have really high ceilings for halflings. So moonshine has like an inch or two over the top of her head. She can walk kind of safely if she's going into a doorway. She'll probably bang her head.

But hard one, you definitely have to crane your neck to get anywhere. So when that says make yourselves comfortable, I just sort of look at it. I just never have. I just your towards a bean bag in the corner. I plot down on it. There you go. Do you guys want, there might be some drinks in the mini fridge.

If you want to start to rifling through the mini fridge, so you guys are up in Bebs Room for a little bit. And after a little while, Bebs dad comes up and he goes All right kiddo We got to have a little talk here, okay, okay? Okay, so You know we don't got a lot of family anymore, right? Yes, sir. Okay. When I was growing up I had six siblings and now I got none so I need you to stick around kiddo, alright?

Yes, alright. We had three toe gold that died in the war against the Giants. Yes, sir We had two toe gold that died in the war against Osmodeus and then we had your uncle Ronald who fell off a dang balloon Okay, and he was goofing around, okay? He was doing a goofy. He tried to do a back flip He tried to do a back flip and what happened to him Beverly? He flipped right out of the dang balloon. He sure whipped right out of the dang balloon. Okay? so I you know I'm I'm satisfied that you are okay Beverly. Yes, sir and I am I'm

It it is good that you're home, okay? I really, you're going to the length. I'm glad you're not dead. Okay, there you go. I'm glad you're not dead, okay? Well, really? So after a little bit, Beverly's dad goes downstairs and you hear him welcoming Merrick Highhill

and Merrick Highhill makes his way up the stairs. He's this older halfling man with gray hair and a kind face. He wears a dark green robe and a little hat. Oh, he's little hats and a little hat made of leaves that looks kind of like the red hats a cardinal would wear. He's accompanied by several paladins in full plate armor representing different factions of the city's holy night. Are they halfling paladins in full plate armor representing different factions of the city's holy night.

Are they hafling paladins? No, they're all different races, mostly human and then there is an elf. What is Merrick as he a... Merrick is a hafling. Is that fun? Yes. So there's an oath of devotion paladin, aka a white knight

and oath of ancient's paladin, aka a green knight like the toe golds and two members of the Chosen. You guys had heard about these on the roads to go later on and Beverly knew about them. They're the kind of non-denominational paladins who just worship the light. And that's who the window has been targeted. Yes, and that's who my dad calls Knuckleheads.

And your dad calls them Knuckleheads. So, and one of the chosen guys is glad Roselle. This tall blonde haired elf super-tanned with bright green eyes and a giant broad sword across his back. He wears a full plate armor and a white tabored with a gold sword on it, the symbol of the chosen. Sir Roselle, what are you doing here?

Well, I was with Merrick High Hill, and I heard that someone was in trouble, so I thought I would come by and say hi. But don't let me take all the attention, please, the high priest is here. And the high priest walks over and he says, Beverly, it's been such a long time. Hi Dr. Merrick.

Oh my goodness, What kind of... Oh, he walks over and pulls the blanket off and he sees your legs. Oh Beverly, what have you done, your legs? I goofed at God. You goofed at God. Oh my, what, you know what? You don't goof at God, okay? I was just trying to follow.

Deag, Beverly, deag, you don't goof at God. I was trying to follow Pelor's teachings and bring light and joy and laughter to the world. And I went a little too far and the joke fell flat The joke fell. Yeah, very flat. We also fell flat my bones. He bombed at probably the worst possible He literally bombed out of a tower Goop is also a real scratch. He basically tried to poison the God. Oh my goodness Yeah, he tried to commit some sort of what would you call if he killed a god? Oh, DSI DSI he tried to commit I say that and then call for more blood

Mike, well my goodness. Okay Beverly. You know what? Why don't we relax? Okay, start the ritual the greater restoration to bring your legs back Let me eat he leans into Beverly. Why don't you sing a song? Why don't you sing a little green teen tune? He sets your leg in a sack. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Taylor is here to make us feel,

ah! Ah! Ah! Oh, yes! Yeah, he goes to the ritual. That was just one leg too, right? Repairing Beverly's legs. It's like a 10, 15 minute ritual of him hovering his hands,

his eyes glowing green, his hands glowing green, hovering over each individual part of Beverly's legs. You see the bones reconnecting and his leg taking form again. Moonshine watches with like ultimate fascination. She's not even disgusted, she's like into it. One reaches for Beverly's other sticky bun. Yeah.

No one did, I would try to put it in my mouth. Your mom just brought back with your cream on it. I look at her and I'm like, are you worried about that core? I've heard a lot about that core. Steve, Steve buns keep the core away. Yeah, you see, Galadro's gonna get a little fat. Galadro's out, all the sliders. Galadro's out, leans into a hard one.

Careful with the sticky buns, buddy. I give you the entire thing in one bite. I'm so mad. I'm still mad. I've done that motherfucker. Marikai Hill finishes his ritual. He looks extremely tired and drained after it. He's sort of this jolly. He does kind of

have the manner of a pediatrician like goofing around and stuff, but he is very tired and very drained after repairing your legs, but your legs do feel better. I wiggle my toes a little bit. You wiggle your toes, you feel your toes, you feel good, you feel exhausted. You have like one level of exhaustion right now, so you would get, mechanically, you'd get disadvantages on skill checks and stuff, but you'll be okay after a long rest. That's cool. I go over to America, I say, are you, do you have a moment?

Yeah, what? So my little rodent companion, he's got all these soft spots, and I was just, I was just take him, you know, to be in his nature, but since I got a professional here, perhaps I could run his soft spots by you. Yeah, I could take a little look at that, okay?

So you see he picks up Paw Paw, and he's also, he's a nature domain clerk, so he likes little critters and stuff. So Paw Paw immediately kind of takes a liking to him and just allows him to do whatever he wants. This dude just starts pressing into Papa's soft spots in his head. He's just making sounds and his eyes are bugging out

and his tongue keeps rolling out and everything. Any hands, his stress squeeze. He's like, you guys. Any hands of back to Booshan? And he goes, seems actually quite healthy. Has he been eating health potions? Or oh yeah, he laughed up some well honestly he laughed up a lot of dirt with those health potions. So I thought maybe they'd cancel each other out, but okay good. So the soft spots

are okay. Soft spots are fine. He laughs and says you're you're a good mother. No actually I'm not I'm not a mother. I'm going out of my way not to be a mother. Very fertile. Be easy. You see, he looks. He's hard not to get pregnant, honestly. He looks extremely confused and Beverly's dad puts his arm around Merrick High Hill and goes, all right, let's get you back. Let's get you back to the church district why don't we all walk them home why don't we let Beverly get a little rest wait wait I grab his his robes before he goes okay moonshine what about what about the crick-a-t oh mola how did it escape me oh mola forgive me for my absent mind one more thing I just tug on his robe.

We all suck on this. We all suck on this. You don't, my entire people is being poisoned. Yes, I'm so sorry, the chef. You don't know how to tug on my robe. It's cool, I'm right. You could just speak to me. We're all in a small room.

As I'm speaking to him, I'm playing with his robe in my finger. I'm a holy man, please don't flirt with me. This is normal. This is all very normal for her. I'm a Crick elf. I don't know if it's obvious or not. I don't know how much I wear it on my sleeve or my pant leg. What is Crick Rock?

What are you doing to heal my people? Well, I'm doing, I'm doing the best that I can. I'm doing pretty much exactly what I did with the young Beverly here. I'm casting greater restoration spells to cure them of the curse, but it's not quite going away. Okay. It must, it is a extreme demonic influence. Okay. So you know that's demonic. And what do you think is happening? You got any theories? It's also fine if you don't. You think he thinks about it for a little bit something ain't right. I think something ain't right at the creek. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you Dr. Merrick. Thank you Dr. Merrick. I'm a high priest. Thank you. High priest Merrick. Thank you, Dr. Merrick. I'm a high priest. Thank you, high priest, Merrick. Thank you. CSE Beves, Dad puts his arm around him. All right, I think it's time to get him back.

I'll walk him back and you see, Galad says, do you mind if I stick around so I can speak to young Beverly? Me? Beverly, the fourth, gives kind of a weird look. And then he looks over to a hard one in moonshine and goes, just keep an eye on him, he's kind of a wacko. Okay. You got it. All right, yeah. All right, if you want to talk to the kid, yeah, go ahead. Go nuts.

So Beverly's dad and Merrick High Hill and the other Paladins exit. And you guys are left there with glad. So glad bends down and says, are you all right, young, toe-gold? After Dr. Merrick's healing words, I'm feeling much better, thank you, sir. Well, you know, as a toe-gold,

you're the future of the green nights, and someday maybe you'll even make captain like your dad and in that case we're gonna have to work together and we are all brothers and sisters of the light regardless of our specific denomination. So as an act of goodwill I brought you this and he pulls out a beautiful master work long sword with Elvis script across the blade and he hands it to you. Oh my goodness. No, I don't know about this. I know Elvis. So I read the inscription. It says stay cool. Glad Roselle. It's literally an autographed sword. Oh my gosh. This is an autographed original. Oh, wow. There there's not. You could get quite a bit of gold for that.

I am really glad to show that. I already know what that must say. That must say something beautiful till he finds out. And he's like, oh. It does, it says stay cool. And then he signed it. And then I signed it. He signed it in hell of a fish.

Yeah. That's really hard to write. That's me, the white rose of Galatoran. Is he an elf? Yes. He's a hylf. Ooh. Hi, I'm a Crick elf.

Hi. Hello my sister. and he gives you a hug Okay, I was about to question you but have I ever met a high-off who has so thoroughly embraced a prick? We are brothers and sisters in the light. I reciprocate the hug and just hold on until he breaks free He doesn't break free Sharing a time. Are you all just playing hog chicken for so, so long. Sir, he's still hugging me. Yes, he's still hugging Moonshine.

He looks over shoulder. Yes, young Beverly. As a fellow paladin, I must confess to you, I've been having dark moments where I doubt the sincerity and the light of, of Pellor. What can I do? What path should I pursue? You know, young Beverly, the sincerity and the light of, of Pellor. What, what can I do? What path should I pursue? You know, young Beverly, the light flows through all of us.

It doesn't matter what God you worship. We are all united under the light, even you. And he turns to a hard one, eater of sticky buns. You are not the only thing I do. My brother of the light. Nah, that's what we call him too. You know, call me sticky buns. I'm going to start a, the light. No, that's what we call him too. You know, call me sticky-bon. I'm gonna start a new sticky-bon.

No, please do not. Sir Ocel, are you hosting Youth Group this week? I'm not, I'm actually, I'm gonna be quite busy while with Merrick Highhill becoming the new high-ceptin in just a few days. Tarn, well I hope we can have a jam session. I just picked up this flute and I would love to sing some of the hymns of the light

with you sometime. You know what? I would love to sing some of the hymns of the light with you sometime. You know what? I would love that, Beverly. I would love that. I would love that. I would love that. I would love that. This woodblock in his pocket feels a little hurt.

Suddenly, you guys hear a voice from outside on Beverly's balcony. Finally, it looks like I'll be able to outnumber you, Ro-Zell. You guys turn and look. Your tail slips talking. And you see the widow. You guys see the widow standing on the railing of Bebs balcony. She's wearing a long black cloak with the hood pulled over her face. But you see her hands and her chin are pale white. Glad turns to her. The widow, oath breaker. And she says, what do you say we step outside so we don't have to harm this nice little halfling family?

I try to get out of bed and fall down immediately. Yeah, Beverly, Beverly, you're super exhausted. You can walk, but you feel a little bit wobbly. And glad, glad holds you back. And he says,

this is just between us, widow, and the widow laughs, she cackles, and she disappears, this is just between us Widow and the Widow laughs, she caccles and she disappears and misty steps. Your family could be in danger. We need to get downstairs now and he rushes out of the room. Okay, y'all, can we just out of character for a second say, what if Theala is the Widow?

Oh shit. And he else thinking that because he called her the oath breaker and we just found out that the all was on her way to Galatoran and that she broke some kind of oath. It seems extremely possible. Damn. Was anyone else thinking that?

No, but I'm gonna know. No, I'm not smart. I've proven it time and time again, not smart. Okay. And I don't like, I just don't like Galad. But I don't, he might be a good guy, but he's just a douche. I was ready to be like, fuck this guy, because I was like, what are you doing handing out weapons?

He seemed into himself, then he was a high elf that embraced a brick elf. So Moon Shines just like, maybe he's the, he really might just be a wacko as, is that what, that's what, he could be a good elf. He calls him a knucklehead. I feel like, he might just be a knucklehead. So not like an evil dude. Yeah, the chosen probably have some bad eggs in the rank. I think galad could be a good egg potentially. Okay. So what just so so glad I'm really distracted by that. Yeah, so the widow misty stepped out of the balcony. We don't know where you don't know where, but galad said that your family might be in danger because your mom's downstairs Beverly

So Glad took off down the stairs all right, so I'm just like the sticky buns Is everybody going out yeah Beverly Beverly can walk he's got one level of exhaustion so he's he's for all intensive purposes fine Would I have had a chance to inspect this sword like maybe just get like a oh, yes, it is a plus one sword Ooh, so you get plus one your attacks and plus one your damage No, your attack bonus and your damage goes up hell yeah, so you guys you guys rush down the stairs You get into the living room bev's mom has no idea that anything's wrong. She's like oh

Oh glad don't don't leave oh, go ahead. Don't leave without any sticky buns. Don't you, you gotta have it. You gotta eat. You gotta eat. She tries to give go ahead of sticky buns. And he says, I'm sorry. I know it's rude to her a few sticky buns, but I must be going. I grab one. You guys can call me hard bun for that. So you guys open the door and you see the widow standing on the ledge over like a cliff and you see in front of her There are eight chosen the paladins who have been zombified They have so they have the white tabards, but they're all Ripped they've got big holes in them their faces are caked with blood and their eyes are milky white

The widow holds her hand up as if keeping them at bay. And glad says, oh, brothers and sisters of the light, how could you do this? Rosalene, strike true. You see, he's talking to his sword. He pulls out his big sword named Rosalene. I shall free my people from your demonic presence widow.

And she says, this is between us. Get those other three out of here. What do you guys do? I'm not sure. I think, yeah, we, uh, I draw my sword. All right, everybody roll initiative. Woo! 18.

18. I also got 18 of that's 20. Wow. I got 14. I'm fine with that. You guys all rolled really well. Nice. So good for you. So moonshine, you're 14. I'm fine with that. You guys all rolled really well. Nice. So good for you.

So moonshine your first. Okay, so I'm gonna take out my sending stone. So you're gonna call old Cobb? Yeah. That's fucking smart too. Oh good, I'm gonna call Cobb. I shoulda done it before we ran out. It's gonna take a full action for you.

Yes, but I still got a bonus action, right? Yeah, you could call old Cobb and do a bonus action, sure. Yeah, so then I'm gonna call a little Cobb, shillayly, so I'll light my staff, and then I'm gonna spore the girl. The widow's further back than everyone else. She's got like the eight guys in front of her and she's kind of in the back of the committee.

And I'm just gonna spore one of her freaking henchmen. You actually cannot do poison damage to a zombie. Can we at least hear what old Cobb's voicemail is talking about? Oh, so you're gonna talk to, you didn't get his voicemail. It's so Cobb, he's on the horn. Oh, Cobb, in person, Cobb, we're standing in front of, as is so weird to be talking on the phone in the middle of a battle, but we are standing in front of the black widow.

Till the old guy where you're at. We're at the corner of Goldston and Whiffledine. All right, I'll ask around some of the fancy folks, old Cobb out. Yeah, yeah, you know, I can also maybe send pop out. No, no, no, no, just ask the fancy folks. All right, old Cobb out for real this time. Old Cobb's funny. Old Cobb, make sure you got bullets in that blunderbuzz,

nothing silly. No more teeth, old Cobb out for real for real this time. Old Cobb hangs up. That is you, hard one. How do you guide the Crick? Don't. Crick cut up is what we call. I'm gonna sort of shoulder gollat aside.

Watch this. Going after one of the zombies. Going after one of the zombies. Cool. And that is a no 20, not a net though. 20 to hit that hits. Yeah. They are wearing plate mail so they're a little harder

than to hit than a lot of the guys you guys have been fighting, but a 20 certainly hits. Okay, oh, and I reroll the two. Thank you Nathan. Ha ha ha. OK, oh, and I reroll the two. Thank you, Nathan. That is a 12. 12 damage. Cool.

You slash right into him. One of the guys, arms, rips off. You cut his arm right off, and he looks fine. He just goes, oh, let's see if I can chop off the other one, because I do get a second attack. You got a second attack. You're level five, baby. Do I roll the 20 again for the second attack? Yes, of course of course, of course everybody at home

I was a fucking joke and that is a 19 hits. Yes good for you Good for you rolling good and that is a 17 17 damage geez this guy is on Dora I look back and I wink it fucking galant Geez this guy is on Desi- I look back and I wink at fucking galad He slash his head off and his head is hanging by a thread But he's still standing and dragging his broadsword

There is no pleasure in this. These were once my friends Haha No, mine And then you see a glad charges forward at one of the zombie paladins and goes Rosalene strike true Haha And you see a glad charges forward at one of the zombie paladins and goes, Rosalene, strike true. You already said that man. Rosalene, free these people from their prison.

Go Rosalene. I really love it. I'm sure to look at that. And he hits on the first one. Oh boy, he does 18 damage on the first swing. Nice. He takes a second swing and he hits and he does another 17 damage. You see he fully decapitates this one

and swings his sword around and goes, thank you Rosalene, you have freed them to the light. Not that, not that, man. And then he takes a third swing at another one next to him. Yo, are you watching this hard one? Any hits. Watching what? He hits for another 18.

Fuck. That is the widow. You see, the widow is going to rush up and take a slash at glad and she misses on her first swing but she takes a second swing and she hits for 15 regular damage and she does like a necrotic smite for another 14 damage. So she slashes into glad and you see this explosion of black energy as like disease like festers on his neck

and he goes, ah, stay away from me heretic. And then it is Bebs turn. Glad, no. Does it look like Crick-Rot? Does disease that festers on it? He's not actually disease, it's just like really quickly. As he was slashed, it was like this disgusting festering disease. Okay.

Yeah, since these are undead, I think I'm going to cast Shield of Faith right off the bat. And I'm gonna cast it on Galad. Oh, no. Galad is super armored now. Yeah. Thank you. Cast off the darkness, Galad. You and Ros. Glad is super armored now. Yeah, thank you. Cast off the darkness, glad. You and Rosalina must fight another day.

I like to think as Bev is like preparing this spell, I think that it's coming to me and I step up proudly. Thanks, Bev. Oh, all right, good. Yeah, no, he could use it. You could use it. Thank you, Beverly. It is an honor to be your hero.

Give Rosalina a kiss for me. He did it. He kisses Rosalina. And then I'm going to divine smite the nearest. Cool. There's one that's really hurt that Galad got with a second attack, or there's just a full health one. What do you do the full health one?

Okay. So do a regular attack and then see if you hit. Because it's actually kind of hard to hit these guys. Galad's just really strong. That's 11 plus eight with my one-4-dates. That hits. Great. You actually do 3-8s against undead. So you're gonna roll 4-8s for damage here and then add your damage at the end. That's an 8 again. Bebs turning into a new leaf. Yeah. Since he met Galad. Yeah. Hard one doesn't have a thing to do with it. That is gladdened

What did you get to have an eight and a two and? and a seven plus another eight holy wow Plus the seven attack damage right? Wow, you do the perfect amount of damage you do exactly what hard one did you slash its head off amount of damage. You do exactly what Hard One did. You slash its head off, its head is hanging off by just a flap of skin, but it stays standing as it goes back up to 1 HP. Oh, so it doesn't die. It does not die. But you get a second attack. I charge up my sword with my amulet, and I stab down.

Perfect. Take a swing. That's a 12 plus, that's not Nat 20. Oh, perfect, that hits. Great. He's at 1HP, he's not going to be able to recover from the amount of damage that you do here, so finish him. Oh, great. Yeah, I think I strike true young Beverly.

Yeah, I look to... Yes, very true. I look to Galad, I give him a thumbs up, and it's also like moonshine, not a very good thumbs up. My sword fills with light, and I say, Rosalene too, strike true! You strike true with your blade, cutting into the zombie's chest, and it explodes in a flash of white light.

That is the zombies. Weird thing, none of them attack you guys. They all go after Galad. Oh no. So Galad gets surrounded by all these zombies. Oh, because they've probably all been commanded. But they're attacking the light. That's like what Galad represents.

But I think that they've been, I think she raised these dead and then told them kill Galad because she's trying to assassinate him. Maybe because he's a bad guy. We still don't know. True. Let's just operate like he's good and bad.

Okay, yeah. So there are, but I don't trust the mother. There are six guys left. Two guys hit Glag for a total of only 16 damage, but they do, you notice they have a like spores type ability. You guys hit Galad for a total of only 16 damage, but you notice they have a spores-type ability. They're letting out a wretch-like foul breath that is doing poison damage to Galad.

I can't help but kind of study it and be like, oh. Yeah, so he takes an additional 23 damage from that. How goopy are they? Oh, they're super goopy. Oh man. Especially the guys there, there's one guy whose head is still hanging off.

He's at one H. Guys, it's okay, my mom can do laundry after this. So that is back up to you, moonshine. Yeah, I'm just gonna do a tidal wave. Yeah. Serves up, okay. moonshine summons a tidal wave of crick water, exclusively of crick water.

So remember, it's like a little alcoholic and somewhat flammable. Appreciate that. This is going to hit galad. Are you cool with that? Because all of the zombies are surrounded galad. Motherfucker, what do I do here? Hit them, we can cure them afterwards. Yeah, but you want him, Ted.

Yeah, of course they do. Do what you need to do, moonshine. Moonshine has already summoned a tidal wave of a quick water and she's hesitating about what we're not interested in. Wait, what's going on? What's that? You said do what you need to do. All right.

Oh, man. No, and I said. The glad is also the tidal wave. It's called glad saves. Glad saves. Three of them save. It's called Glad Saves. Glad Saves, three of them save, three of them don't save, and the Widow saves. I think Glad is also a T-totaler, so this is gonna be bad for him

if he gets any in his mouth. 23 for anyone who didn't save. So you fully kill two of the zombies, and the Widow, Glad, and the other zombies take a little bit of damage. Hell yeah. Oh yeah. And you see as the widow takes the hint, she goes, this is in your fight, get out of here.

Whatever the alla. Did you, yeah, did we see her? I thought we saw her as a little bit. She's right a mask or she has a hood. She does have a hood. Uh, roll a perception check. I got 17. 17? Oh, she has a hood. She does have a hood. Roll a perception check. Oh, I got 17. 17? Oh, she has no reaction.

Damn, she must have rolled well. So that is a huge hard one. All right, I'm going to swing at one of the healthier, whatever the healthiest zombie is. Cool. That is a 22. That hits. And that is a

11 dope that I'm gonna slash right into this guy. I guess I'm gonna take my second attack at that same guy. Okay Oh, damn, but that was a net two. Ha you swing and you miss the first one to miss this whole fight Glad says it's okay hard bun. You'll get them next time. Don't call me hard bun Okay sticky bun you'll be fine. That's worse. Perhaps you need to name your axe. Rosalene always strikes true. Hard one silently starts pondering a name for his axe. Ha ha ha ha.

A glad takes a shot at the guy that you just missed. And he misses as well. All right, it's okay, Galad. Wow, I'm filled with doubt. Don't worry, I'll get him with the second swing and he does. Oh. I got him with my first. So he gets another.

We're all trying our best. Seventeen damage, so this dude is super fucked up and then he takes his third swing and he rolls in at one Glad really goofs on that last one he inhaled too much of a crick water Sorry, I was trying to impress people. I shouldn't do that Wow Crick humility in a high-elf never have I ever And you see the widow looks at you guys and she goes, I don't wanna have to kill you.

And she, whew, misty steps out of there. The widow's gone. What? Can we track her? She's gone. Shit. What a guy misty step chaser? Maybe.

We'll see on your turn. The widow disappears. And that is your turn, Bev. Okay. How many zombies are remaining? There are four. And are they still acting despite? They're still acting now that now that the widow is gone

It seems like they're kind of now just mindless zombies So they will probably attack you if they get if they get on you. Okay, then I'll just yeah, I'll just hack and slash cool cool Yeah, I just got there. There's one guy who's like a little hurt two guys that are healthy and one guy's that's very hurt I'll slash the guy that's a little hurt right now. Okay, cool That's a 19 plus my bonus, which is gonna be seven 27 I guess. Yeah, cool. Yeah, that's super hit great That's five plus eight so yeah, 13 he is very hurts, but still alive. Okay, I'll attack again. Cool. That's gonna be 17. 17 does not hit.

Oh no! You bang off his plate mail. Dang! As you kind of shifts in a drunken stumble. A drunken zombie stumble. Yeah. And I say it's okay because glad Mrs. sometimes too.

That's right, we all miss. Even Rosalene. Wow. Now it's the zombies turn. The zombies now are to divide their attention now that they're being attacked by you guys. So two of the Zombies are going to stay on Galad and two of them are going to turn too Beverly

because he's swinging on them. So the first zombie takes a swing with his great sword. That's an 11 to hit, that does not hit. Then he's going to try to bite you. And that's a 19 to hit. My AC is 19. So that hits. That turns back into his own. That's not Resident Evil Rules. That's four damage. But then as he bites into you, he spits out this green mist that does another six damage to you. My favorite color! Doing six damage to you.

Then another guy takes a swing on you, Bev. And he misses with his great sword. He tries to bite you, and he's gonna successfully bite you. Damn, I'm running. I hit with the sword. Seven damage, and then another six damage. As he bites into you, he spits the green mist at you. So 23 altogether?

Yeah. Great. And then the other two guys are going to take their swings at Galad. This one guy hits him with the great sword for seven damage and then takes another, goes into bite him, misses on the bite, but sprays the green mist at him for six damage. The other guy swings at him with a great sword and misses.

Tries to bite him and successfully bites him for four damage and then does the green mist. That is you, moonshine. Oh, okay. I'm fucked up, that's galad right now. Galad is looking a little fucked up, but he has a lot of HP, got it. So moonshine is going to quick take a thwack at one of these zombies who looks hurt.

Cool. A run up thwack them is, oh that's definitely going to hit, but I'll ask anyways, is a 19 going to hit? It does barely though. Oh, okay. Wow. Yeah, they were an armor, less cockiness. Okay.

I'm sorry everyone. A little crick-a-dility. Excuse you, yeah. Ha ha ha. Learn a little crick-yability. Excuse you, yeah. You're right, you're right. Excuse you very much. And then that's gonna hit him for eight. You slash into him, you cut him in half, but the top of his body is still moving.

He goes back up to one HP. And then as my bonus action, I shout, Theologists wanna talk to you, girl. And then I try to follow her. Great. Give me a perception check to find her. Ooh, that's gonna be 24. You find her on the rooftop of a nearby house, about 30 feet away, heading towards.

Is it for a Denys house? It's not Denys house. Denys house is on the other side. Cause I love the fuck of that house. You misty step over to her. And you're on that roof with her right now. Cause I love the fuck of that. You misty step over to her. Yeah. And you're on that roof with her right now. And I say girl, why are you going after this glad guy?

Truthfully, I'm trying to understand who to trust here. He killed my husband. And that is hard one's turn. Shit. I'm gonna sort of hip check glad out of my way a little bit and swing at the zombie that was. There's room for all of us. Now'm pretty big man and that's a not one You bump into glad and kind of lose the grip on your axe. You broke your hip. I got this. Oh shit

I'm gonna take my second action though Pick up the axe swing again and That is only a Pick up the axe swing again and that is only a Fucking 17 that does not hit all right. I'm the action searching do it up. Yeah 12 On the action surge god damn you can attack again with action surge because it gives you another action So you can do two attacks. Oh great. So I'm over I'm over three over three here come over for it the final Oh great, so I'm over three. Over three, here comes the final fucking attack.

Watch this baby, that's a 14. Ha ha ha ha! Hard one over four, whips so hard in front of Galad. It's more like you're just doing like a kickboxing workout. Try the two-pricing. Faster to the mountain, the whiff wizard. Yeah, whiff wizard, no. So you see on Glad's turn, he turns to Beverly

and hard one who are still there with him and he says, can you handle these guys? I need to finish this now. We got it, Glad, you can count on us. Thanks. You see he summons a Griffin from the sky. A Griffin comes down and picks him up. And Moonshine, he starts flying towards you guys

towards the widow and you. Is that Razer Light himself? The very same. He fly, Godspeed. And that is the widow's turn. She looks at you, Moonshine, and she slits her own throat. What? And you see, she just turns into like a fog cloud and is gone.

And you see, glad flies and he goes, no, where have you gone? Where have you gone? And he flies the Griffin around looking for her. He flies down like to the lower area of the mountain. And that is Beverly's turn. Okay, we gotta wrap this up. I'm just gonna divine Smite again.

You've got one guy who's the upper half of a torso still crawling around. You've got one guy who's pretty hurt and then two full HP guys. Let me do an A of full HP. Cool, cool. Can't believe I have not killed the guy that's gotten half already.

That's a 12 plus eight. That hits. Great. Well, so he had to hit these guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. 16 plus 2. That's 18 plus 7. Is that right?

Yeah. Yeah. You chop this dude down. He's another torso that starts crawling at you. He's at 0 HP, then he goes up to 1. OK. He's just crawling. You guys got two half zombies, like grabbing at your ankles trying to bite you

That's all that's left. No, and then two full guys. I'll just do another divine smite on the one that's still standing That's a 19 plus eight you guys are hitting you guys are running so well. It's ever hard one who went over for Beverly Yeah, but for the family over is conscious of faith. Do your damage. She's got his legs back now 13 plus seven so 20 that Hurts him quite a bit, but he is still standing. Okay, that is the zombies who are gonna go in on Beth Bring it so the two torso ones can only bite now But he does hit with his bite for Four damage and then he's gonna do an extra six with the poison gas.

The other torso guy tries to bite you and misses but he's gonna do another six damage with the poison gas. The other two guys are at our still standing. They take a swing with their great sword. Fifteen hit does not hit. Try to bite you. Misses with a bite but does the six damage wretching on you. Last guy misses with his great sword, hits with his bites for four damage, and then does another six damage. That's okay, but that's looking great.

Okay, that is you, Moonchan. Okay, I guess I'm just gonna run back, because I was only 30 feet away. Okay, so you can run in. I'm just gonna run back. There's two half corpses that are still biting at people's ankles and two guys that are still standing. All right, I'm gonna curb stomp one of those. One of those biting. Yeah, roll like a chalely attack roll to stop his head. Oh, this step we're gonna hit 23.

Cool, he's at one age. So just finish him with a stomp. Oh, this step we're gonna hit 23. Cool, he's at 1-8. So just finish him with a stomp. I lived up my dirty, gnarled feet and just start curbsdomping the zombie. Jesus, yeah, his head explodes. Cool, that is horrible. And when I get into it, it kind of turns into

a little bit of a hoedown dance. Weird purple cake to blood. It is fun to be like a kid in the puddle. Just try, look at that and smile and be like, all right. I remember how to do this. And I crit baby. Oh, nice.

Were you going for, there's a full health guy, a guy that's pretty hurt and then a torso. I was gonna go for the full health guy. Cool, go for it. I loved if you took an easy swing. Yeah, you just and then a torso. I was gonna go for the full health guy. Cool, go for it. Love if you took an easy swing. Yeah, you just create on a torso. So that's eight plus 12, that's 20, 20. Okay.

And then plus six, 26. Cool. This dude looks real fucked up, but he's still standing. And I get my second attack. Go for your second attack. Here we go. 19. That hits 15.

You chop his head off, hanging by a flap, goes back up to 1 HP. Bucker. I wish I could spore these guys, it'd be so easy to get rid of them. That is Bebs turn. I want to jump and stab down on the torso first. Cool. To get the torso out of the way. Yeah, take a swing.

Take a swing with advantage, because he's prone. He's just laying there, wriggling around. It's a three into two. Which should I choose? Oh my goodness, you managed not to hurt him. You're just banging, he still has the top, he still has his brain playing on. Bev is so confident that he's just banging on,

you're banging on a trash can, Doug style. I'm just gonna treat like, with the flat of your sword, which is the reason. Enjoy this music, it's the last thing you'll hear the flat of your sword. Which I think. There's some reason. Enjoy this music. It's the last thing you'll hear. I say to try and play it off. You know, I'm going to do.

I'm going to break concentration on Glad. Yeah. And as a show of good faith, I will cast protection from evil and good on hardwares. Thanks, kid. Yes, you absolutely can. Notice how he waited till after Glad left to do it. Oh, hard one noticed. I don't know

So that yeah, there's still three zombies left First guy crits on Beverly. Oh, oh, oh, I should have healed myself 17 damage on that oh fuck down. Okay, that goes down I reach for my potions and find none that goes down. He's gonna go after a hard one. That's going to be 17. That doesn't hit you. You got your new press play down. He's disadvantaged as well.

Oh, protection. Yeah, oh, he's super misses. But then he does the six damage to you. And then the guy with his head hanging off, the headless zombie paladin takes a swing at hard one with disadvantage and misses. It tries to bite hard one with disadvantage and misses but does six acid damage to you. Guy on the ground is gonna try to bite you and he's actually gonna hit even with disadvantage and that's another four

damage and then another six damage from... Actually, I don't even. I really hope this torso party wipes us. And then that is you, Moonshan. I see the torso, I feel the draw to curb stomp and keep the curb stomp and going, but then I run over to Young Bev, and I give him a second level cure wounds.

So that's gonna to be 19. 19. So I got 19 HP. Yeah, so I give him a kiss of life. Cool. But honest, cheek, because I'm a scout mistress. I don't need any kind of allegations. Stop it, it sounds so bad.

Well, my first cheek kiss. Have you bounced back up? Hard one that's you. Can we say that when I cure wounds, it's like a kiss of a kiss of life, but it's like it's like good fungus Yes, absolutely. Okay, so good fungus overtakes you some healthy algae It's like a portabello. Yeah, she just spit some kombucha in your mouth Can I I'll swing at the guy that the only guy that can still swing at us the headless guy can also swing Okay, so I guess I'll swing at the headless guy.

Cool. Like to finish him off. He's at one HP. Who's the highest HP? There's a guy around 12 HP. I shouldn't be telling you this guy's stuff, but he's at 12 HP. He's a big guy.

And that is a 22. That hits. Ooh. Great. And that is a 11. Cool. I just realized. Still alive. But I'm gonna cut off you slash off one of his arms at the shoulder so it's real gross But he's still he's still standing these guys are so disembodied Swing it this dude again. Oh

Fuck yeah, so what you You guys know what happened hard one sugar crashed from the sticky buns and He's recovering from it Yeah too much mellow cream. It's a 31 Jesus and it was a it was 37 by the way I think hard one just like secretly named his axe. He hasn't told anybody yet, but yet his axe has a name Oh, are you gonna Are you gonna utter it? He's gonna do a baby reveal part.

He's gonna have a cake. All right, I whispered to my axe and I say, jamma, let's do it. Jamma. Jamma. I toss a sticky bun in the air, slide the bun through it, and then finish the slice through the zombie,

catch the sticky bun in two halves, and you can both. Of course, you drop your axe while you do this. You have to. Axe, wet with zombie flesh, goes through the sticky bone. You bite into this absolutely disgusting sticky bone. I spit it out instantly.

I see a hard one do this, as I'm getting back to my feet, and I'm just filled with awe. Hell yeah. That is you, Bev. There's still a torso guy and a headless guy. I'm just getting back to my feet and I'm just filled with awe. Hell yeah. That is you, Bev. There's still a torso guy and a headless guy. All right.

I'm going to take care of this headless guy. I'm just going to keep, you know what? I'm just going to do a divine smile. I'm going to do a second level divine smile. Okay. So these guys give us such a hard time. We really have to just kill them extra hard. Yeah, I'm not fucking around anymore.

Just to kiss your dad walks in right now. All right. That's 14 plus 8. I'm not fucking around anymore. Just the kids, your dad walks in right now. Yeah. All right, that's 14 plus eight. That should hit right? Yeah. Okay, great. Now let's roll a million D8. Stop it, stop it, he's already dead. Yeah.

Have pity on this zombie. That's 27. Finish him. I tornado spin at him. And I just keep spinning so much that I do get a little dizzy and throw up. Yeah, you've got that one level of exhaustion. I got one feeling great and I just throw up all the sticky buns.

Yeah, one torso guy left. It is his turn. He's gonna try to bite Beverly and he misses. But he's gonna do another six damage to you, Bev. I puke on him. He doesn't it. Or he doesn't care, rather. Ah! He just sounds like Ray Romano. Somebody, bro! Somebody dubbed the walking dead, but with that voice.

Munchan, you're up. All right, sound the curb, stomp. Go! Roat advantage. Oh, that curb stomp's gonna connect. Cool. 23. Finish him. just finish him.

He's at 1HP, he's already been cut in half. Before I stomp him, I get down, I look him eye to eye, and I think, or I say to him, death is a beautiful thing, but an unsettled death is ugly as hell. And then I stomp him, and I just, but then I do it really rhythmically so that we all have a little dance.

So you essentially do like a burpee, like you get down to say that to him and then you pop back up and stomp his head. Yeah. Cool. His head explodes. You guys are out of combat. I'm so stopping. All right. Oh, okay.

So, y'all, we should huddle up for a second because- You guys want to go to the kitchen? Yeah, we fucked up your house pretty bad, huh? There was a tidal wave and there's a bunch of dead zombies in there. Yeah, you see, see, Beverly's mom, Martha Togold, opens the door. Oh my god, there's a mess. Oh, it's just awful. So, I will clean it up.

You don't have a maid or something. Why don't you all come in? Well, yeah, I'll get the broom butt. Let's send the broom butt. Brum butt out there. Brum butt out there. Brum butt just like f**king a dude. Brum butt goes out.

Brum butt starts sweeping around the zombies totally ineffective. Oh, your father's gonna flip out when he's just- It's sort of just moving the blood around. Your father's gonna have a connection. Oh boy. Your father's gonna have a connection. Okay, well, I don't know if I really have the patience

to sit here while your dad gets mad about us defending your house, right? Yeah, Mom, you saw we had to defend the house against those zombies. Oh, I don't... How often has this been happening? Honey, you know how your father gets. He's not... We've never had zombies attack the house.

This is new. Okay, so maybe we need to scoop before your dad gets back. I would love it if I wasn't left alone with zombies. Why don't you guys stay for dinner? That sounds great. I would love it if I wasn't left alone with zombies. Why don't you guys stay for dinner? That sounds great. That sounds really nice. What are you making?

What are you hungry for? Sliders. Sliders, yeah. I can make little cheeseburger sliders. Sloppy Joe sliders. Oh, come in, come in, come in. She makes you guys sliders. There are sloppy Joe sliders.

Cheeseburger sliders, chicken sliders. Buffalo chicken sliders. She feeds you guys sliders. There are sloppy Joe sliders, cheeseburger sliders, chicken sliders, buffalo chicken sliders. She feeds you guys real good. You told me. This is a master course in hospitality. Oh, boy, you know how to host. Thank you. Can I run a bath?

Absolutely. It's all yours, honey. I run a really nice bath, like bubble bath, and then I just wash pop on. I don't get it in myself. Wee, wee, wee wee wee wee! POP on just screening. Marking his territory pissing all over the walls. I know.

I know the soft spots are okay. I'm scrubbing him so hard. I found a rock outside and I'm just scrubbing at him. There's an indoor broom book called Moppy and he's doing his best. I looked at Washington co. My beard as well. Actually, cool. You wash up. Y'all, if we're having a little pool party, maybe we should talk about what just happened

because I followed her. Right. I like to be in the bath with Paul Paz. We have this pal. I'm also going after a hard one with the rock Opum is stone yeah I'm exfoliating. I feel like yeah, I'm I'm sitting on a little stool Reapplying my my toe and foot makeup

We're having a slumber party. Yeah, I really see I do wait. Can I put can I put foot makeup on both of them to? Can I put foot makeup on both of them too? Oh, that sounds fun. Yeah, I've got one foot out of the bath getting made up. And I feel like there's definitely different kind of signifiers with the way that the makeup is applied. I'm picturing it as kind of like symbols that denote like what you're classing your type. So I'm gonna give you guys like honorary scout master

foot tattoos. Cool. Like Hanna, the old. It's like golden Hanna exactly. And then I'm gonna teach Hardwan how to do a Cricnott, which is basically like a dreadlock. And I do a Cricnott and his beard. Oh, that's so dope.

We're all wearing big fluffy green towels on it. Ha! But more importantly than all this, um, the widow told me that well first off she slithered throughout then turned into fog so I don't think it was true death or some sort of magic was a foot but she also told me that glad murdered her husband. What? Glad. What? Galette. Serozel will never do something so despicable.

You sure? So... Seemed like an asshole. Well, I'm not as sure about stuff as I used to be. To be fair, so I don't know. There's a cynic in me that says, a high elf who embraces the prick, elf is almost too good to be true. Yeah, this trip has made me learn to not trust anybody.

Do you think we should follow up with Sir Roselle? Should we try to talk to him tomorrow and see if he can give us some more information? Sounds like we're not going to be able to talk to this widow she turned into fog. She is fog, it's true. Yeah. And, you know, there's a lot of clouds this high up in the mountains, so... She's probably disguising herself pretty easily. But how well do you know the city?

Do you know if there's any city taverns we could go get some information from unsavory characters who might be loose-lipped? I feel like there's probably like the equivalent of a fantasy hooters that I'm not allowed in. There's a lower galator on is like the more blue-collar area where people definitely go to drink after work Beverly is Beverly was knocked out after having serious surgery

Beverly is gonna suffer like three levels of exhaustion if you guys don't We're all gonna sleep together in my bed. Yeah, oh big bed. I love one big bed The bed is so small for a heart. That's how too hard would fall across the entire use. The bed is like half a side. It's so worth the toe gold. It's in the room. So everybody, oh, my son is in a bed with two adults. Okay. Everybody have fun. Don't worry. We're a scout master Look at our feet. Look at our feet. A little bit more worried. Oh, that's a that's adorable. That's adorable

All right. Good night everyone. Good night. I'm fast asleep. Good night. Love you. Love you mom. Love you Beverly. Love you moonshine. Love you hard one I love you too Is this the first time someone's mom has ever said I love you. It sure is. Oh my god. Hard one lives awake for a full hour. Hard the toe cold gives everybody a kiss on the forehead and tucks you guys in. Oh my. Do we?

Do we? Alright, I guess we sleep peacefully through the night. Cool. You guys. Um, I sleep even though I normally trans. I want to, uh, I really want to, to like I don't want to have a trans over I want to have a sleepover so I straight up sleep for eight hours Since moonshine it's very rare for her to sleep all the way through the night I would like to wake up early and cook a big apology breakfast for everyone

Beverly as you go down to Cook the apology breakfast. You're kind of sneaking along, your mother isn't awake yet, and there's a knock at your door as you go into the kitchen. Oh, Brumba, can you get that? Oh, you're busy, okay. Brumba's just sweeping. Hi.

I go and I guess I look through the little people. Do you see who it is? You look through the little people and you see three paladins at your door. Do I know which oath they are? They are one of each. There's one from the chosen, one from the green nights, and one from the white nights.

Okay. Who is it? Is your mother home, kid? Yes, but she's asleep. I'm Beverly Togold, her son. You see, they kind of whisper amongst themselves. Please open the door, son. Oh, Malora, you're dead.

Could you say your name's please? I just need to make sure I don't open the door for strangers. It's kind of a house policy. So the main guy, the guy who's a white knight is this human guy and he says, I'm Lieutenant Naaman. This is Torek and Aula. Yeah, I open the door.

He looks at you and he says, would you like some coffee? We're okay kid. Okay. Son, he gets down on one knee and he says, would you like some coffee? We're okay kid. Okay. Son, Haney gets down on one knee and he says, your father has been arrested for the murder of high priest Mary Cuyhill. What? What the fuck?

I dropped the three coffees I'm holding. And that's where I'm at session. Oh shit. Shit. Oh my god, this shit is so fun. I love it. We're just asleep. We're asleep.

Yeah, y'all are asleep. The bacon is burning. It works out perfectly, narratively, that you went down there by yourself. Uh-huh. Oh great. That you went down to make an apology breakfast. Oh.

Hot damn, that was a good app. Good work. That was a fun one, guys. Yeah. Cool. So yeah, guys, rate the show. Please, we always need app. Good work. That was a fun one, guys. Yeah, cool. So yeah, guys, rate the show, please. We always need ratings. Love them.

Follow us on Twitter. Adjik here, which is Jake. I crave ratings. Boom. Adjik here, if it's me, Adjik here, if it's me, Adjik here, if it's Emily, Adjik here, if it's Emily, Adjik here, if it's Emily, Adjik here, if it's Emily,

Adjik here, if it's Emily, Adjik here, if it's Emily, Adjik here, if it's Emily, Adjik here, if it's Emily, Adjik here, if it's Emily, Adjik here, if it's Emily, Adjik here, if it's Emily, Adjik here, if it's Emily, Adjik here, if it's Emily, Adjik here, if it's Emily, Adjik here, if it's Emily, Adjik here, if it's Emily, Adjik here, if it's Emily, Adjik here, if it's Emily, Adjik here, if it's Emily, Adjik here, if it's Emily, Adjik here, if it's Emily, eight bucks on Amazon now. That's a good price. And there's also the audiobook is out on Audible,

so check it out there. Anything else? Oh, go ahead. All right, I was just gonna say, I've got a bunch of stuff in the PO box. I still need to check it, but if you want to send us stuff, you can send it to 1920, Hillhurst Avenue, number 222, Los Files, Los Feliz, California,

90027. So, yeah. Mine is much more self-serving. Oh, Amir and I are coming to Dublin and Amsterdam. Are love to show us. Hell yeah. But if you live in fucking Amsterdam, we have no idea if we have fans there, but come let us know if you live there.

Let's hope so, man. Oh, yeah. There's a lot riding on this. I don't want to take a 15 hour flight and then have a sad show. And then you're gonna be real stone, so you're gonna freak out if there's only like three people in the crowd. Oh yeah, I will be tripping.

I will be tripping. Just don't last the only time in my life, I was an answer to him, I did mushrooms and then went to a fancy restaurant and they kicked in. And it was a restaurant that didn't have menus. The guy, like the waiter had to explain like what they had. And it was the worst

Experience in my life don't go to a nice. So yeah Whatever you do when you travel abroad don't go to a nice If you don't go to Jake show in Amsterdam he will drown in a canal. That's true. Yeah, that's absolutely true Yeah guys and tweet about the show with hashtag NADDPOD, baby. YoD. We are, we are. You the nations, we are, we are. That was a Hate Gum podcast.