Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 17: Jailbreak (The Galaderon Saga)

Episode Date: May 31, 2018

It's the morning of the execution brunch, and Bev's dad's life hangs in the balance! Can the Band of Boobs bust him out in time? ...Maybe! Hardwon pumps tunes in his new drilldozer, Moonshine goes ape sh*t, and Beverly makes some questionable decisions involving explosives. It's our most metal episode yet! Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music/Sound Effects include:"Grenade" by Ljudmann at Freesound.org. "Glasshouse" by Themfish at Freesound.org."CINEMATICBOOMNORM" by HerbertBoland at Freesound.org."Crackling Fire" by sagetyrtle at Freesound.org."Conspiracy in the Clouds" by Emily Axford."The Depths of the Dungeon" by Emily Axford."NADDPOD Theme" by johnsnicholson.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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I'm your Dungeon Master, Brian Murphy joined by J. Kerwitz. Hard one, sure, foot. I'm your dungeon master Brian Murphy joined by Jake her wits hard one sure foot Emily Axford Oh Called ball tanner Beverly tow gold the fifth Make mine mine Okay, can I try that again? That was a pun I Didn't get it, can I draw that again? That was a pun. I didn't get it, but I supported it. Cause we're in a mine.

Oh, make mine mine. Yeah, I see. Sure, it's good. It's very deep. D plus hard one gives you back your humor patch. Okay. Cool guys, let's do a little recap. Last week, you guys continued your quest to burrow through the mountain to get into the

Glateron Castle Dungeon to rescue Bev's dad. First, you snuck into the cavern containing the Crag Water City Ruins. You met a little crew of mushroom people who taught moonshine how to communicate telepathically through spores. Then you entered the city ruins, which were overrun by doorgers, these tainted dwarves. You guys met up with some sneaky deep-nomes. I don't want to talk about it. Who shot at you with blowdarts and made you very angry.

Then you convinced them to help you pull a prank. Or did we on the doorgers by stealing mining equipment from one of their warehouses. One deep gnome instantly betrayed you by blowing up a part of the warehouse and blaming it on hard one. Then the others stole Beverly's gold and ran away. You guys exacted brutal revenge on these gnomes and defeated them as well as the warehouse full of Dwarggers in an insane combat scenario which saw a hard one Tokyo drift a giant drill car and to Capitated Dwarf with a sliding glass window And that is where we are now. We are in this big dwarf warehouse in the

Half-rune city you are in this warehouse murder scene with a big old drill car, this metal mini tank with big treaded tires, and two drills poking out of the front. And you guys also tied some dead gnomes to it, I believe. We did. Yeah. Yeah, we've got him trailing the car like a just married cans. And also one fucker is mounted to the front.

Put ornament. Maybe we might just murder it in blood. Oh, just murder it in the back of the back. That's great. That's everything. We also, let's let O'Cob suggest that what if we put a just murder on the bag? A clappled hob, a cob on the back.

You crack me up old man. Give him the humor fash right? It's 37 minutes and does it. He's gonna go right down that it took one gnome tooth and one dwarf tooth just for posterity. Great, great. Great. What color are the dorgans teeth? Oh yeah, so, so yellow.

Oh nice. Yellow and brown. From, yeah, from coffee. Don't get done with coffee drinking it all the time. Oh, they do dunkin' down here. Yeah, one of those cobalts with the Timmy who's, I mean, disgusting. So your dad's gonna be executed soon?

Yeah, we should go. Yeah, I should mention that. It is the morning of the execution party. Execution brunch. Shit, yeah, they're doing Kirkland signature up there. They cheaped out on the coffee, but the pastry spread is fantastic. If I can remember the last execution party,

the pastry spread is fantastic. They're gonna go fast. We gotta hurry. Great, let's not give them anything to celebrate. Yeah. So you guys, yeah, you guys are in this big warehouse. The closest intact building is the castle. And that's where you, as you guys were sneaking around last time,

you guys did hear activity there. Okay. I need to do some kind of perception check because I'm curious if I think that hard one could lift this car. The drill car? The drill car, like, you can. Theobrope.

Okay. It, I would say, I described it as a little mini tank. So I'll say it's about a thousand pounds. You know what kind of a strength check I'd need to do. Keep in mind there's a pulley system that I would be very familiar with. What's the do you buy your mind?

You buy yourself absolutely can't pull 100 or a thousand pounds, but maybe all of you guys together could and you'd need something stronger than a rope Can you cast spider climb on a car? Can I I will a messenger. I will allow these shenanigans Okay, so then That seems pretty good. How are we gonna get the car up on the wall? Is the question, are we gonna need to drive back over the bridge? Yeah, I think we would have to, right?

Okay, unless we were able to somehow go through the castle on the inside and spiral around up into the top. But even once we got to the top, there'd be 50 feet that we wouldn't be able to scale the car. Oh, very true. Yeah, we gotta just drive up the wall. Unless we want some of that mithril, but I think we need to focus on plan alpha,

which is Operation Daddy Rescue. Yeah, we're gonna say, young dev, don't be seduced by the mithril way from saving the world. This is what happened to the doggers, but. They really got mithril though, I mean, that's a lot of money for us, right? Oh, Cobb.

Oh, Cobb, that ain't some kind of crick sentiment. Oh, same money above life. I'm saying of crick sentiment. He said money above last. I'm saying his and my dad is 100% lost his job. So money is a concern, but we'll come back for the mithril. How's that sound? I mean, I wouldn't mind getting Armory going into this battle, but I just don't think there's time. Oh, right.

Right, we got to, we got to book it. Let's go. Yeah, I'm just concerned. I just feel like we have so much ahead of us even once we hypothetic if this works. Here's another idea. When this works, Moonshine. I've got another idea, but I'm going to hold it.

It's my ace and my sleeve, and I'm folding up my sleeve and rolling up my sleeve to prepare for the plan, but the ace is still there. Let's get in this den car and drive a ball. Broom, broom, baby. Are we doing it then? Yeah. Let's get in this den car and drive a ball. Room, room baby. Are we doing it then? Yeah, let's do it. It's Tokyo drift time. So I'm casting spider climb on this car.

Okay. We're starting to drive up the wall as soon as I'm within 120 feet of the stalagite. I'm casting fog clouds. Okay, so you guys are going for this. Yeah, does this car have a radio or no? Yeah. Yeah.

2020, 2024 hours ago. I want to be sedated. You guys take off in the drill car driving past these mad dwarves who are just walking around and hollering and shambling about real quick. Can we try to knock some of them out? Jesus, yeah. I'm saying like that might prevent them from shooting arrows at us later. Sure, okay. One guy is walking home with a rat for his family. Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no and get me on the plane. That's just driving around drifting around the dwarves that are crazy in a harmless way. You guys do season more of these little gnomes.

Oh, I wanna hit them. Hit them and hopefully they get added to our fucking grill. You just splat right through them, you just drill right into them and keep going. You guys, high tail it out of there. You guys hit the bridge, you're casting spider climb now? Moonshan casts spider climb, but you guys ride up the wall,

like it's a fucking hot wheels. You guys go up this dome, you guys turn upside down, you start riding towards the center. Seat belt, everyone. Look, a lot of ceiling's covered in blood. You guys ride across the ceiling, burning rubber, and you reach this giant stalagite-shaped rock that hangs from the ceiling.

Hard one, you're driving this, right? Yeah. Go ahead and give me an intelligent, or you know what, I'll say we can do dexterity. Because you're great. I'm good at this thing. You're good at this thing. 20.

20, excellent. So glad I was around. That's them. Cool, just. So glad I have bad eyesight and probably should drive these contexts. Just as you guys are about to hit the giant rock, hard one, pose the correct lever,

and the two drills go forward and start breaking up the rock. OK, so I'm getting to read. I'm looking out below. Does it look like anyone's trying to shoot arrows at us? The second I see anything, then I'm casting daylight and fog. As you guys start like mining and using the drill and rocks start falling and everything down into the city. Oh Lord, we're gonna kill some enemies. He's the best. It crashes the guy who was holding the rat for his family. No they'll never eat without me. It was a bad life. It was a bad life. Yeah as you guys are as you guys are digging into this all these rocks and boulders are falling down and

you see about eight of these doerger dudes run out of the keep and they have this rusty armor on and they say that's ours you're trying to steal our myth though they're trying to get to the myth though they're trying to get to the top level of the castle and you guys see you guys can see into the top of the keep now into the second floor because the roof is gone there. You can see that there is a giant pile of mithril. It takes up most of the second floor. Whoa. Bev, your eyes look like sausage right now.

What could it be? Oh boy. While the thing is drilling, I want to attach myself to a rope. I want to do a little rock climbing. As Bev is tying this rope, I'm going to say, Bev, tell me your plan before you open up the car. I wanna do a little rock climbing. As Bev is tying this rope, I'm gonna say, Bev, tell me your plan before you open up the car.

I'm in control. I am the only one that can open up this ceiling. I just wanna give us a safety line. I want to plant dynamite all throughout the top of the stalagite so that we can destroy the tower if we need to on our way out. Ah, it's a good plan. You want to get out of the car to put dynamite in the stalactite?

I think there's going to be a lot of rocks going on to the tower. I think that tower's fucked. Okay. No matter what. All right, that's better. I light some dynamite and toss it down. Oh, Beverly. All right.

The hard one. Are you cool? Do I open up the bubble? Yeah, sure. Okay, cool. If Beverly dynamite, then I get that open the open up the bubble? Yeah, sure. Okay, cool, you open up the bubble first. If Bev lit dynamite, then I get that open. I'm gonna crack the window. Beverly lights dynamite before hardwine opens the window,

hardwine quickly releases. We all toss it, we all toss it back and forth. They don't, but young Bev, what are you doing? Oh, we play, we play passing bombs at the creek all the time. Is there a patch for this? Munch on remove it. No, we are off-book. So hard one lets down the bubble,

Beverly throws the dynamite down, it lands in the second floor of the keep, and blows up. And you see, the mithral does not scatter. It stays there. It suddenly moves. It tires it. There's a fucking dragon in there.

Oh, it's trying to make it a distraction. Oh, it's starting to bite down. It blows up. I will let you roll damage on the dragon. It blows up. Well, you see the dragon jerks. It moves. The entire pile begins to move up and down, breathing.

You see it pokes its head up, a pair of eyes open up, and you realize all in one moment, this isn't mithril or these are mithril scales, and this is a mother fucking mithril dragon! Jesus Christ! Well, kid, your dad's dead. Oh no! Jesus Christ!

Oh, but you be fair to be fair to me. There's no reason he would know that there's a rock dragon down there. Yes, but it was also a lot of reasons to throw the dynamite. There was also no reason to destroy it. I would say this is more fuckery on my part than it is on Beverly's part. No.

It's really mad at anybody, be mad at me. I'm also mad at you. Yeah. Shout out to the cobalt press, Toma Bees that gave me some cool cave dragons. Nice, very fun. Give me that book, I'm gonna fucking put dynamite in between the leaves. Alright, so dynamite does, a stick of dynamite does three d6 damage and you can

tie a bunch together to do more. But we'll say on this first one that you do three d6 damage to this dragon, so go ahead and roll your damage, you know, surprise round Beverly. I think everyone's surprised here. No one more than me. Malora. This is not what I was planning. around Beverly. I think everyone's surprised here. Oh, oh roll is a one great Good start and a four. Okay better And then it too, so that's gonna be what seven seven does that kill the dragon? He's on death store. Yeah, he's actually almost dead. He begs from mercy finish him and finish him All right, but Yeah, if you just want to throw like a pebble and take them down, he's fine.

Cool. Everybody roll initiative. Of course. Naturally. You guys do have explosives and stuff. This is kind of an interesting little account. Hard one get a nine. I got 12.

That's a three. So this dragon wakes up from the bomb. Who dares attack the great king Ludwig Bronzebeard. Oh my god it talks. That would be Beverly Toggle, I think that's who you want to open up the room. He flies out of the second floor and as you guys are drilling into the stalagite, he sticks his head into the mouth of the tunnel that you guys are burrowing into and he lets out a breath weapon of like metal spikes. Sticks his head into the mouth of the tunnel that you guys are burrowing into and he lets out a

Breath weapon of like metal spikes. Oh, huh. I'm assuming that you put the bubble back up right away. Yeah, but okay So this is just going to damage your vehicle Shit, we need this thing to get through the mouth God, so I'm gonna say okay hard one. I'm gonna say with So I'm gonna say, okay, hard one. I'm gonna say with disadvantage, give me a dexterity saving throw, and we'll see if you can mitigate some of the damage, maybe like burrow to the left or to the right, and kind of try to get out of the way.

Cool. First one was a 19. Okay, that's good. We're doing it with disadvantage. Second one was a 19. Wow. Okay, yeah, hard one. You do a fine job, so you're only gonna take half this damage.

As this dude sticks his face in and breathes metal spikes that you guys that all start pinging on the glass and start cracking the glass. Hard one is able to aim the drills off to the left. You guys go slightly off course and some of the metal misses you. And it will do How much damage nice drive in hard one. Yeah hard one. Oh, that's good that you guys buddy It's actually really good that you guys are fighting him in the car or because

His breath weapon makes you bleed and that's hmm and it it hurts you every single turn Good Lord. Okay, so ten well the distraction worked Good Lord. Okay, so 10 well the distraction worked Eight where distracted for sure. Yeah, yeah, this glass is mighty thick, but it is cracking a bit He just did 17 damage to your vehicle Okay, that is moonshine's turn okay You get the I mean for you guys to, you're not really going to be able to outrun a dragon. Right. Yeah. I'm not, I'm not an idiot. Um, I got one of those. Now, having said that I'm gonna try and ask if I can do something real dumb. Okay. Um, I'm not an idiot. Can I hold dynamite with

my chill touch hand? I think you just gotta make, take your throw. You gotta do like a ranged attack. You can either just throw some dynamite at him or you can take an action to wrap some dynamite and use do more damage next turn. I am going to wrap some dynamite to give to Bev. Okay.

I'll use an action to wrap some dynamite to give to Bev. Okay. Cool. So I'll use an action to wrap some dynamite and then why not bonus action, Shalali? Great. Yeah, okay. So I'll say you're able to get like three sticks of dynamite together. So you'll be able to do nine D6 if you hit

with your throw. So hard one, it is your turn. I mean, it's up to you if you wanna use the car or if you wanna throw an ax or if you want to. Oh, wait, I also can I spore some real quick? No way. Okay. Is he is how you got a track? Is he flying around or is he like kind of landed next to us to try and attack us? You guys are like a little bit into the mountain and he is like a snake like following you in

Got it. So can I just pop this bad boy in reverse real quick and see if I can stick him with one of the drills? I Go for it. Oh, I like that. I'm sure it will be hard to go for it, though. I like that. Yeah, okay, so a hard one kicks in reverse and flies right at him. That's 19. You're gonna try to hit me head on. I sure am.

I'm the great king of the dors. No, I'm the king of the dors bitch. That was the 19. What do I do? So you're not gonna crit with this because... Fine. This is a vehicle. So you do 66 on each head Jesus.

I wish it was 66. He will have resistance to this damage. So I'll take half of it. Can I have some D6s? Take, take and mine. This is the band of boobs right here. We're going in my hand. Oh.

Oh, that one for me, of course. Oh, man. 21. Okay. All right, all right. Okay, so he takes half of that, so he takes 10. He's half of that, and motherfucking. He's resistant.

Then you can take that. He's resistant too. There's two drills. Is he resistant to dynamite? Yes. I'm not a fuck. I'm gonna back up and do it again. Okay.

By the way, the song on the radio now is don't stop believing Little bit on the nose That was that's an 11 note that it that does not have of course not now You think you can mind better than me boy. I'm the greatest dwarf that's ever lived I'm the king under the mountain. You're a dragon I used to be a dwarf, you fucker. No, for real? I would love to hear more about that. Maybe when I'm chewing on you.

I don't know, I don't want you to talk with your mouth full. You call this a mountain? Are you insulting my mountain? I come from Iron Deep. That's a mountain. I've never heard of Iron Deep. Yeah, I've never heard of crack water crack water is not even the word mountain isn't even in the title I've been asleep for a long time So this is all news to me and it's bullshit. So sorry. This is fucking bullshit Okay, that is

Old cob. Hmm quick if you want to get his gun out you just crack it for old cob though You guys crack the the bubble for all cop And all cop's just gonna try to shoot this dude in his face all cop wants to smoke Well, I'm gonna shoot a dragon in the face. This is new even for all cop Mrs. Percent it's a rock How do you miss the track? He's got

He's got scales What I wouldn't give this all right he hits on his second there you go Pass this prize. He's got scales. It's very big. What I wouldn't give this. All right, he hits on his second one. There you go, Cobb. He's still on it. Everybody leave, oh God. Whoa.

Ha ha. Okay. He does 10 damage, half to two five. Okay, this dragon is still looking pretty dang healthy. Pretty spry. That is you, Beverly. Okay, so this dragon understands language. Uh-huh. I'm gonna like, don't worry. I want to briefly like since he's just

coming at us and be like, who did this to you? You're in a cursed form. We can help you. I got tricked by a damn genie. I said I wanted to be surrounded by Mithril and it's one of those tricky genies. I come from a land of great healers. You can see by my armor, I'm a green knight, and we know the earth, and we know how to heal and to remove the evil wicked ways of it. If you work with us, I promise I know healers in the town that can help you. Give me all your stuff. If you guys give me your treasure, I'll let you live. I look back real quick.

Do y'all not learn what the fuck happened with those gnomes? I don't trust anything in this. Pharyn up! What I do is I hold up the handful of dynamite, and I hold up my amulet in the other hand, and I bring them together, and I make a prayer to Pellor to say, please, with this dynamite, smite with a holy radiance, that would just evil

and lace wicked in the fell earth. And then I chuck it in its mouth. And while doing that, I do cast divine favor so that it is holy. Is it divine favor bonus action or is it an action? It's a bonus action. Great. So this is holy dynamite now.

Great, okay. So throw the dynamite, make an attack like as if you're throwing with your javelin. That's gonna be 20 to hit. 20 to hit hits. All right, so yes, you throw it in his mouth. He goes, yes, I can't wait to eat this amazing amulet. What dynamite, this isn't...

Oh yeah, I slight have handed the amulet away at the last minute. That's 28 damage. This isn't. Yeah. Oh yeah, I slight of hand at the amulet away at the last minute. Yeah. That's 28 damage. And then I need to roll my 14. That's all. And then you're ready in damage. Oh my God.

It's two radiant damage. And that's my first attack. And then I chuck a javelin' dance throughout too. Okay, yep, just make it attack. When you threw the the dynamite into his mouth he reacted like Tom from Tom and Jerry when you like accidentally eat the bomb or something Smoke smoke comes out of his ears. I know this teeth full out like piano cues. I should have said it was like a big hot dog Is that an 11 is that gonna hit no? Okay, so you just chuck the javelin don't think the javelin it falls it hits the No, okay, so you just chuck the javelin don't the javelin it falls it hits the Dorgor who was carrying the rat home to his family

His wife and his child are more good days and you have bad days. I scream Is the rat fun? Yeah, the rat scrambles away the rat was still alive cool for some reason So that is actually before the dragons, he's going to take a layer action. So he starts winging out in this tunnel that you guys are in, just like slamming his head up and down, causing a mini earthquake, and rocks begin to collapse. Possibly crushing you guys. Hard one, do me a favor and roll me a dexterity save

to see how quick you can kind of back up the car and get it out of the way. Oh, boom, boom, boom, boom. Ooh, that's only a nine. Mm, hard one. The car only takes five damage, but a giant rock lands on the back of it and it gets stuck like your drill car is restrained.

It can't move right now. Cool. There's a giant rock can't move right now. Cool. There's a giant rock on top of our car. Okay. Cool as you guys are restrained there. This dude is going to roll to see if he gets his breath weapon back. He doesn't and he's going to bite at the glass bubble

and he is going to hit four, seven damage on the first hit. He takes a hit with his claws, he starts, yeah, the guy's just terrifying. So a rock is down on top of your little tank. You guys are pins there and this dragon is just wicking out, clawing at the bubble. As you see it, get more and more scratched up and fucked up. He hits with his claws for...

I'm sorry I'm on the radio now is I want to dance with somebody. Oh boy. Oh boy. He's changing the radio station. I'm not doing anything bad. He rolled so bad. He only did five damage on the second hit. Then he is going to take a third swing and he is going to hit actually and he hits for 12 this time. You see the bubble is starting to look real fucked up.

So that is moonshine. Okay. Then I am going to transform into an ape okay yes does the ape still wear the calvest yes you're still wearing all your clothes so I start sprouting all this hair like the places that you usually see mushrooms coming out of me there's like just like hairy ape for coming out I instantly pressed the sunroom on this this part. And then I get... Papa turns into a tiny little monkey.

Did he say, oh my shoulders. And then I get out there and I go, and I try to heave the stone from... Give me a strength check. Okay, I got a 15. 15. Oh, for me, 14. 14.

Ooh, you do not move it. You start... Was she moved it with a 15? Oh, per me, 14. 14. Ooh, you do not move it. You start. Was she moved it with the 15? Yes, she would. You got to remember to lie. That's not what we do here on not another D&D podcast. Moonshine, the great ape, starts to wear... Wearing a cow vest.

It starts to lift the rock. I'll say that hard one on your turn. If you use it to use your movement you can back up Hard one it is your turn so I can back up into the dragon Yeah, you know what all allow that I'll say that instead of completely like lifting it and being able to throw it at the dragon or something like that She like she frees you guys out so that you can drive forward all right cool 17 17 hits Yeah, oh so that you can drive forward. All right, cool. 17. 17 hits.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, sorry. Give me six. D6. 21. So that is half to 10. He's starting to look a little messed up, though. This is not not affecting him.

So you take your second attack with the drill. Cool. Yeah. That's 17 again. 17 that hits. 21 again. 21. Yeah. That's 17 again. 17 at hits. Woo! 21 again. 21, okay, half to 10. He is not looking happy about this.

All right. That is Old Cobb's turn. Old Cobb is just going to. It'll be with the bus, Cobb. Wait, Old Cobb. Yeah. Here, I toss old, oh man, I can't do that on my turn, can I? No, you got it.

Can I like hold up the dynamite to say that he should put it in his gun. He loves putting silly shit in his gun Oh, yes, we've already established that Okay, let me have all Cobb doing intelligence check He rolled it to band of twos. I think that's a great idea Beverly. I'll hold the reaction for your turn And he waits with the bl boss. All right, cool. And that is Bev's turn. OK, so I give Old Cobb the stick of dynamite. Great.

So Old Cobb was preparing for you to do that. But the dynamite in his gun shoots it. It blows up in the car. Oh. Oh, I knew it because you said he got a D-roll the two. He rolled the two on his intelligence check. So he thought it was a great idea. This is a really funny idea Beverly.

I think it's a good idea to have a small explosion happen next to some dot. I don't know, it guns work. Yeah. And to be fair, the, the, the, you guys see me. I've been mentioning that the idea was an intelligence too. I got a stuff trusting adults. Cool. That is going to do 16 damage to everyone in the car.

Jesus. Not moonshine though, because she's an ape. You guys hear an ape go. Shit, this is my fuck up the controls. Let me roll for the Vax. Oh God. The glasses look. Just keep dynamite away from Beverly.

Beverly's the only allowed to use Javilan's the rest of us. Alright, fair enough. Cool, the rest of it. All right, fair enough. Cool, the controls are fine. Rolled very high on your just random luck. Check. Well, it's dwarven made. It's dwarven made. It's a tough little car.

All right, that's the rest of Bebs turn. The rest of Bebs cool turn. The dynamite. I feel like I don't want to turn to Apologus. Yeah. Make an Apologice. Yeah. Make an Apology Breakfast. Yeah. The Apology Breakfast has become an Apology Feast

at this point. Apology buffet. We're going to the Golden Corral, y'all. I feel like I'm partially responsible for that. I am the adult in the situation. You are the oldest one here. If Moon-Chine was in there, she would be given a whole bunch. Or if I want to ask you if I can try something.

With a jab, could I use ens snaring strike with a javelin? Yep. All right, I wanna try and, I guess this will depend on my role. So let me just say it and then, if you'll let me describe what happens after it. Okay, go for it. It's a 15, yeah, that does not hit.

Okay, cool. Another way to javelin. You're paying off his scales. Cool. He eats the javelin You're paying off his scales. Cool. He eats the javelin, but he seems to enjoy it. Mm-hmm, I love javelins. I sound like old cobra. Yeah.

Yeah. You're a good guy. It sounds the same. You know, I have three voices. That's one of them. Have you ever second attack? Oh yeah. I thought you used to, oh no, you didn't.

That was a reaction. That was just a bonus to blow up. That was just like, let him go. I thought it was funny. Yeah. what? That was just a bonus to blow up, though. That was just like, let him really give him a close funny and stuff. You know, Murf's got to have fun, everyone, so I'll do. Yeah, I gotta blow you guys up a little bit. Can I just try another in Snaring Strike, then? Just throw the Javilan, see if you hit.

Yeah, I believe that's the language of in Snaring Strike. So just try to heat them. That's gonna be a 16. 16 does hit. Woo! All right, yes. Yeah, that's a lot of ones today. Does that one get halved? gonna be a 16. 16 does hit. All right. Yes. Yeah. That's a lot of ones today.

Does that one get halved? 111 and the Sun Sun Sun. That's gonna be an eight damage for the javelin and the radiant damage is the Holy Sting. Another one. Another one. Another one. Cool.

And he takes the whole one. That's cool. Nice. That's just a radio one, David. Okay, so now you're gonna do a snaring strike because you hit a Large or larger creature has advantage on the saving throw so he is going to have advantage on a strength saving throw And he passes he bursts through the vines Fair enough. It makes sense that vines couldn't contain a fucking withdrawal dragon. Well, I want to try. But you know, bad rolls. I want it to contain his wings.

OK, that is a layer action. I need just moonshine to make a constitution saving throw. Oh, 19. Oh, you pass. So you don't have to have this. Oh, thank god. Suddenly, the dragon's eyes go white,

and he starts to breathe heavily and speak in tongues and you see all of these little bugs and spiders come out of the tunnel and attack moonshine the great ape. Shit. Okay, so 20 damage half. 20 damage, okay. This ape still stand in bitch. 10 damage.

I have that hit points. Yeah, then the... I flex. I make my pec stance. Aw, yeah, it's cricky cong. Don't get too excited because you are outside the cart and he just got his breath weapon back. I need you to make a dexterity saving throw.

And I need you also in the cart to make a dexterity saving throw to move the cart hard one. 13. 15. Oh dang, you guys both passed. Oh, yes. So you guys only take half damage.

And I think that means you're not gonna be bleeding, Moon Shine. Oh, Malora is good. Malora shines on her children. Okay, even the monkey ones. Even the monkey ones. Yes, you take another 10 damage. As I am hurt as a monkey, I'm still making my peg stands and then the monkey lives. Yes, you take another 10 damage. As I am hurt as a monkey, I'm still making my peg stands and then the monkey dies.

And then moonshine comes back to life. Making her peg stands. Significantly weaker, yeah, but still making her peg stands. Not knowing what's going on. That is moonshine. Hey, at least we're not five more doggers, right? Right. So, okay.

I hated those guys. So I have a third level erupting Earth. So what are you doing? I'm trying to create a cape in. Oh, okay. Alright, so I'll let you do a spell attack. DC 20. Oh, I'm fucking 19!

Oh, I'm sorry. Fuck me, but he still takes fucking damage in this. Yeah. He's fucking dexterity. Okay, Are you sorry a dexterity saving throw? And He got a 19 so he takes what half of it. Yeah, okay, so roll your damage and he'll take half Okay 23 31

Jesus I got an 11 and a 12 and a 5. Is that 31? 31. Nummies. 11 to 12 and a 5. Wait, is that, no, no, no, no, that's not a 31. 28. What do you have in post 12 is 23.

Oh, 28. I got 28. 28 damage. Okay, so he takes half. So he takes 14. He's looking pretty dang. He's looking pretty dang effed up. Y'all.

Ooh, make my pecs dance. We dinged him good. Is it just what it just be? Breath to the point? Nope, they're pecs. We're dancing their pecs. That's good point. That is you hard one. I'm gonna ram him with a car again.

Go for it. Can't move so close to causing a cave in. It hits, of course. Gown in the mountain. 23. 23 damage. Jeez, okay, so he takes half of that damn. He's still oh man. He's Super super hurt. Well, I'm about to back him up. I'm about to hit him with a drill again. Hopefully

Nope, I'm not it's 12 that does not hit. Ah, that is Do whatever moonshine says Oh, God. Oh, Cobb. Do whatever moonshine says. Stick to bullets. Stick to bullets, all right. Let's keep the classic in the crib today. Actually, I probably just, you know what?

I'm gonna say at the very least, I need to use an action to fix my gun. Oh, oh, oh. So, Cobb uses an action to try to like get other bullets done when Bugs puts his finger in. Right, right, right. Yeah, I cannot express how much he's passed his prim. He is going to fix his gun that blew up with his finger in. Right, right, right. Yeah, he's gone. I cannot express how much he's passed his pram. He is going to fix his gun that blew up with a dynamite.

Honestly, he probably should have retired. Yeah, that is your turn. OK, I think I want to get out of the car and divine smite this dragon. OK, dope. I'm going to try and make up for my wrongdovings here. Let's do it. Which one? One at a time. Onevings here. Let's do it. Great.

One at a time. One at a time. I have a checklist. Honestly, Moonshot is looking forward to that apology breakfast. She wants I'm sorry. Spelled out and bacon. And then she also wants you to show her how to do it. Oh, yeah. She doesn't know how to spell. Sticky buns. Oh, there's going to be like, I'm so, so sorry. Spelled out and like one long crepe. It's going to be fantastic.

So I really get out of the bubble. The bubble boy gets out of the I'm so so sorry spelled out and like one long crape. It's gonna be fantastic So I really gets out of the bubble the bubble boy gets out of the bubble and scampers over to the dragon That's a 22 to hit that hits all right 11 okay, so 11 so he'll take half of that so then you're gonna do divine smite roll your radiant damage That's 12 Beverly finish him. Okay. You started him. You may finish him now. You attacked me in my home. We kinda did. We kinda did.

We kinda did. We did it. I run up. Yeah, I run over to him. I jump on top of his head. I say, what do you guys think about a new hood ornament? And I slice his head off. Sweet dope.

With a burst of radiant energy, memory cuts this guy's head off like a knife through cheese. That's what I like to say. Soft, soft. Soft to cheese, a surprising. So the dragon turns into dust. It almost looks like silver blue glitter

and then it all forms back together to make a suit of Mithril plate armor. Oh Very nice. Yo, I think that's hard one size Wait, what size is this? I could squeeze into something No hard one try to put on hard one when you look at it. It looks you sized Beverly when you look at it It looks you sized moonshine when you look at it looks pop off What about the the two-thed grab before it disappeared?

The tooth is gone. I'm so sorry Okay, right now moonshine isn't even thinking of armor. She just feels like the thing he said about like you came into my home and attacked me. She really feels like it's true. So yeah, I don't care about the armor. Y'all can bigger over that. I'm gonna try and create a little spore garden in his honor and memory. So that's what I'm doing. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs. They're a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age-old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered.

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It's real nice, Moonshine. I do think he was a piece of shit. I don't know if I deserve this. If it were up to me, I'd throw it back down to the door so they could at least have something. But, hard one, if you wanted, it's yours. Then I'll wear it, yeah. Okay.

So, hard one, are you gonna put it on? It's like, I'm like, I'm staring contest with merch. What if you, when you put this on, you turn into the dragon? What if that's how someone turned into the dragon? Well, that be tight as hell, unfortunately. But I don't know if that's really what we need right now, but yeah, do you want me to do a role as well? Or no, I'll say that with your divine sense.

You can tell that this is indeed like cursed armor. Hmm. Kick it, I kick it out. No, no, no, I'll say that with your divine sense, you can tell that this is indeed like cursed armor. Hmm. Kick it, I kick it out. No, no, no, no. I think let's grab it. We might be able to uncursot somehow. That's what happened with the Bullywag sword. Yeah, we can probably find a less evil duttle somewhere.

Let's just, let's hang on to it. Nobody put it on, Cobb, I know it looks like it's your size. It looks like it, this looks like it's my size. It looks like everybody's size. We're not gonna put that on. Cobb, I know it looks like it's your size. It looks like it. This looks like it's my size. It looks like everybody's size. We're not gonna put it on. I think after this mission, it's time for you to set up with a stump next to the crick for a while. Yeah, we got you an assisted living stump.

Yeah. I have things so. You know what? Maybe I'll just stop drinking so much. Because I've been I've been sneaking swigs while we were walking around this cavern. Oh, God. They haven't been that sneakyigs while we were walking around this cavern. That has it been, they haven't been that sneaky cavern. I can smell it on your breath.

I still think you're the man. I still think you're the man. You are. You are still cut up, but right now you're a cut up. I'm concerned about that. All right, let's get this bad boy in gear. We got a burst through. Yeah, I wrap it up and like try and like keep it from getting touched.

Yep, great. Let's burst through. Break on through to the other side. That's what's playing out. Break on through to the other side. That's the point now. Break on through to the other side. And that is the side of the point. So the drill tears through the rock as you guys burrow upward into the mountain.

Giant bits of stone are crashing down as machine shakes with effort. You make your way through the mountain until finally you find the opening as you burst through the floor of the castle dungeon. So you guys burst through the floor of the dungeon, you hear yelling from several prisoners like concerned that shit is going on and you also hear the sound of guards like their metal plates clanging as they run around the corner. Beverly, Beverly told Gold the Forth, are you here?

Dad! Okay, I mean- You don't hear a response. So you guys are in the bottom level of the dungeon, which is Beverly, you would know that it's for the worst defenders, and likely where it be, Bev's dad would be. You're in a wide stone hallway with torches lighting the way. There are thick wooden doors that presumably lead to cells. There's no lights in here other than the hallway torches.

You don't see light under any of the doors either except one at the very end of the hall. And near that door, you see three of these chosen paladins rounding the corner and hollering. Get out of the car! Get out of the car! They were expecting us. I don't think we should get out of the car. Mm, I think we just got a five-

Get out of the dang car! I'm a real engine. Yeah, get out of the dang car! Get out of the engine! Get out of the engine! Punch it. Okay, punch it at the... Is it a drill?

Everybody roll initiative. Y'all, I did not... Ah, stock, heat metal. That's okay. Which was my plan originally for getting your dad out. Well, we got this drill car now. We ate all those. I rolled a 13.

We do have a drill car. It's nine. Surprise, we have a drill. Ho, ho, ho, I have a drill car now. I got a 19 as well. Bev, you go first. I pop the hatch and I want to try and ensnaring Javelin the guards at the end of the hallway.

Cool, see if you hit. Sweet Pea, please. It's gonna be a 20. Cool, see if you hit. Sweet Pea, please. It's gonna be a 20. Cool, so roll your damage, and then if you wanna do, in snaring I'll have him roll a strength check. He fails. All right, that's going to be 11 damage. Yeah, you strike this dude in the thigh, you get under his armor and he screams out,

and vines come out from the Gavilan, and in snare him. Have you seen my dad? No, no. Don't lie to me, shut up. and vines come out from the javelin and ensnare him. Have you seen my dad? No. No. Don't lie to me. Shut up. Are they the chosen or are they just like the King's Guard? They're the chosen, which is a little strange, right?

Yeah. So that is Ol' Cobb. Duffer me to redeem myself in the eyes of my peers. Yeah. I think I'm useless. No one's better than you old cup. He rolls us to That is a yes he hits finally he hits he shoots oh wait, I only took one attack What I only took one attack okay? We'll let you do it. Yeah, okay, go after this. Okay. Oh

Shit yeah, he does 12 damage to this guy was gone Okay, cool. Okay. Oh shit. Yeah, he does 12 damage to this guy with this guy. Oh He shoots the guy who is restrained. Oh, come at a bazooka the entire time He just wasn't using it all I need is for my targets to be healed in place by vans. You got it, bud Cool, Beth go ahead and take your second attack. I guess I'll just do another javelin throw since I'm out of range, right sure go I'm also gonna say we're pretty liberal with like the use of dynamite and stuff So I'm gonna say you guys are out of explosives. Yeah, that's fairly fair. We still have the car. Yeah, you guys do still have a fucking runaway mine cart. 17 plus 8, I imagine that hits. Yes, that hits. Cool.

All right, that's a one. But plus 7, so 8. 8 damage. Yeah, yeah, the restrained guy right different guy. Okay, go yeah You hit him with your javelin and he looks upset and scared That is hard one your turn sweet. I'm gonna go with Upset and scared guy great. I'm gonna aim the drill at that guy 22 22 hits. Cool. And I'm gonna hit him with the drill now. Great.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh wow, three ones in there. Mm. 19, Jesus. I'm gonna keep the drill. Yeah, you drill into this guy. I'm gonna take this back to my workshop.

She's right. I mean, if we can find like an auto body shop or like a shop shop, you know, really fit a lot of motorcycle. I'm going to back up and rim him again. Go for another attack. That's 17. 17 does not hit.

No. He moves out of the way. So moonshine would be next, but moonshine right before your turn, as you guys are driving into these nights to drill them, you see on both sides of you the cells open, the doors open and the crag and another barbarian guy swing axes down onto the dome. Fuck! This is a fucking ambush they probably might have come up with. They're waiting for us, they're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They're waiting for us. They, ambush or not. A bird in the hand is worth two in the ambush. Let's fuck this up. There you go.

So the crag swings down and he is going to hit your bubble for 12 damage. Yout. And he's going to take a second attack and he's going to take a second attack, and he's going to hit your bubble for 12 damage and the dome shatters. And you guys don't have a glass bubble anymore. This second guy is just going to swing down on you guys.

I'm in a room now. With his hacks recklessly. This guy's gonna swing recklessly. And he is going to, he's gonna go after hard one because hard ones driving and he's gonna get a 17 to hit that hits that does hit That is 11 damage all right, yeah, and that's it. He only gets one swing. He's not as good as you just made our cards who convertible It's cooler now you idiot permanent convertible

Oh shit, well, we know it's supposed to do that was was the crag swinging recklessly no, so that is moonshine stern I'm gonna melt sass it arrow The guy who swung recklessly yeah, mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth mouth Two two two two gonna reroll though You do it with it. There you go. It's gonna be 26. Oh, two, two. Gonna reroll though, okay. You do that with a match. There you go. That's gonna be 26. Oh yeah. Super hits.

Okay, so that's actually, because I'm using as a third level spell, that's gonna be 5D4 now, and then at the end of his next turn, he'll take another 3D4 damage, acid damage. So he's not taking any half damage or anything. 17. 17 acid damage, so he's not taking any half damage or anything. 17. 17 acid damage and then let me know at the end of this mother fucker's next turn because he's gonna take some more. Okay, he doesn't like that one bit. And then I'm gonna also spore him.

Okay, yeah, just regular three damage. Yeah, cool, you spit some spores at him and he takes it. Yeah, he's very upset. So these nights now, I want you all to know that I decided that Milf is a guy from the crib. And he's just like a guy who like hangs out with a bunch of rattlers like rattlers like snakes. Yeah, yeah. So that's why he's like kind of like accustomed to arrow and he's always giving me these acid arrows. He's the real cut up. Yeah. No one's harder than you. You know what? Milf gives me a run for my money. So these knights are going to swing down on you. I'm

going to say since you guys are in this little cart that they're going to get advantage on you, it's like swinging at fish and a barrel. 18 to hit hard one. That hits hard one. Cool. That is eight damage and he takes his second swing and that's a 19 to hit hard one. 10 damage. Second guy goes down after hard one and he misses. He gets a 15. And the other guy is restrained. He's just gonna try to get out and he rolls a 1. He stays restrained He does is that the guy that's in there? Yes, he takes damage. Okay cool. That is Back up to you Beverly. I'm going to attack the barbarian great go for it

19 that hits great All right, so as you guys are driving this cart There's just people hanging on the sides of it like banging on you guys That's gonna be nine damage for my first attack, nine damage that's going to be 20, not natural. Great, that hits. Plus 15, 15 damage, 15 damage. Yeah, dope.

That makes him very hurt, but still alive. He's still playing it on. He's gonna get it. He's still playing it on. Okay, whenever it's his turn. That is Olcop's turn. Olcop. Shoot him in the face. Shoot that dude with advantage and he hits. There you go. Olcop. This dude is very hurt now. Feeling his rifle with bubble gum, Olcop prepares to go. I just need to vented on my attacks and I can hit. So we're...

Ha ha ha ha. And he hits. This guy, this is pretty easy to hit. And he hits for six. This dude is like on death's door way. Hard one, that is you. Don't even go for that. Yeah, not gonna, yeah.

Because he's gonna get hit again by Melce, although he is gonna get another turn to attack. I guess I'm gonna aim this at the chosen guys who are swinging at us. Okay cool Just really bad at math, but that's 22 that hits Yes Look at all those six is fucking yatsy over there 17 17 damage Jesus. Yes. Oh, you killed one of the guys. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, okay. This is hard because you're definitely killing people I've been to church cookouts with. Oh, yeah. All right, Bev, we're saving your dad. Ha, ha, ha. So there's one restrained night, one full health night, the crag, and one more barbarian guy.

Let's hit that full health guy with the drill car. Go, go for it. Damn, I don't think that's gonna work. So, 17. 17 is not gonna hit. That is the Crag. The Crag is going to swing down at your tires. Hits the tire for 15 damage.

It's like a thick fucking tire and you hear air starting to come out, but it is still like fun. Luckily, we've got like six of them because it's a tank, right? Hardwell, maybe we'll find you a different car after a bit. No, this one can take it. That is the other guy's turn.

He is going to swing down on a tire recklessly and he crits. Good for him. I love this car. So good. That's good. And he does. At least you could maybe try and take the engine out

and bring it, just bring the engine. I'm gonna rip the drill off. That is 24 damage. He hits this tire and the tire explodes out and you feel you guys start to tilt. Uh oh. Okay. But at the end of his turn, he takes more damage

from Melf's acid arrow. Oh, shit. He might die. Melf you trickster. He takes six more damage. He's dead. Yeah! You know? He's dead. He's dead. Ah!

He just dies in the tire explosion. Tires are dangerous, y'all. No, he dies from the acid arrow. Okay. The speared a Melf and all his surrounded by all his radolars. That's fucking heat. That's what he has, dude. Gone forever.

Moonshan, that's your turn. Okay, I'm gonna go ahead and cure wounds, our friend, hard one. Okay, appreciate you. Just thinking, looking at that myth, real thing, very much my size. 17. Nice, thank you.

And I'm gonna, oh, look at the crag and blooma. Sparkis? Real poisonous kiss. Oh boy. Moonshan, no, he's mine. I know, I'm loosening him up for you. Thanks. Oh boy. I'm gonna try to know he's mine. I know I'm loosening him up for you. Thanks. That is. When did I not give you the assist? Those are the nights who swing down on the tire that is already a little bit popped for 12 damage. That tire explodes and the front of the

cart is now shh shh shh shh shh.hhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhhhhh shhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhh shhhhhh shhhhhh shhh shhhhhh shhh Okay, I'm excited. Where, where, where? So that is the restrained knight who's gonna try to get out again. Any fucking fails again. Woo, woo, woo, woo. Good, I wanna question this guy. My vines are pure. Oh, you got second win, too. Oh shit. That's right.

I've been saving a million. Oh shit, that thing you knew about. Cool, that is Beverly's turn. I turn my gaze towards the crag. Mm-hmm. I say, we have unvinished business, sir. I already kicked your ass, you little dumb kid. Good one, Greg. Business is finished as far as I'm concerned. Business is never done. Transactions must continue. He knows a lot about business. The wheel turns, sir. The wheel turns.

Out our front wheels. I don't know what you're talking about. I cast Compel Dual. Great. You attempt to compel a creature into a duel. One creature that you can see within range must make a wisdom saving throw on a failed save. The creature has drawn to you. So this will basically make him think you're really hot for a further fight, right? Yeah, super attractive.

I grow like four feet. He has like an obvious like a chub. Ah, I'm eerily drawn to you. He is not wise. He fails his throw and he looks at you and goes, I am oddly compelled to do all you. You want this? I think you're my rival for some reason.

Bring it on. This is the destined fight. Let me double check. That's a bonus action. Great. So you can still attack. All right. I want to do, yeah, I'm going to use nature's wrath

to bind him. He has to roll a strength or dex. And a real strength. And he got a 18. He bursts from the vines. Nice. The duel is on. Bring it, big boy. All right, you're my rival, I guess.

I'm your rival. You're my absolute rival. What, history? It's like a fair fight to me. Destiny is led to this moment. History will sing of us entwined in combat Maybe a little more who knows? Yes, a dance of swords and axes and a feast of blood and flesh. You've gotten more verbose Yeah, why am I talking like old cop everybody turns it old cop

Actually, yeah, it was a threat Oh God, everybody turns it over. Oh God, actually. I don't eat that red. Definely inspired to talk like me now. That is, oh God, who I guess will shoot at the restrained knight. And he'll miss. He still misses even though the guys are strained.

Oh God, just like right next to this guy, the last shoot, Adam. OK, he hits on his second attack against the guy and he hits him for 11. So this restraint guy is hurt and restrained. That is hard one, Stern. I still drive this drill cardle. You can't drive it, but you can still use the drills

on the guys around it until they, like, really, yeah, so I'm gonna use my drill. If they're like extendable arm kind of thing. I'm gonna use my drill on the chosen then. Okay, go for it. The full health guy. Yeah. We're the hurt guy.

Oh yeah, the full health guy. Not the one. Not the strength. Pierce the heavens hard one. That's a 19. Does that mean I crit? It does. Oh wait, no, I can't crit in the car.

Right. I can't crit in the car. I can't crit in the car, man. One thing we always say, you can't crit in the car. I always say, you can't crit in the car. I always say, you can't crit in car always say the crit can't create the car Look at all them cubes Man someone's being in a stiff dream of the cubes 27 damn man. She's he's hurt. Well, it's about to be more hurt This motherfucker I think could have killed my dad

21 21 hits Chosen our scourch of Glateron. 20! Jeez, he is on Death's Door. That is the Crags Turn. He's going to recklessly swing down on Bev. Have fun! He misses, he rolls two threes. That's awful. He swings any dinks hard. Oh, a perry. Nice move, my rival. It didn't look like he didn't try that hard. You know, I respect him so much now. I just, I respect this little boy and I

wards. We'll sing if you're dink. Um, I'm trying that too. Okay, uh, really wish I had a wild shape left, but I don't. So, um, I'm trying that too. Okay, I really wish I had a wild shape left, but I don't. So, I'm going to blow a nice poisonous kiss towards the guy who looks like he's on death's door. Three. Three damage, he's even closer to death's door. Oh, dang it.

Like he's right up next to the doorbell. Like he's bringing the doorbells. Yeah. He's right in the doorbell. He's got a door knocker in the doorbell going. He's peek's got a door knack, and a doorbell going. He's peeking into the window. Like, death, or you're really not home. Death's in the shower.

We can't avoid me forever. Seriously, I've got a delivery for death. While all this is going on, is it feasible for me to go lightly investigate that door that we see a light under? I'd like to heal myself and then use my action to scope out that door. Okay, I will allow you to do it. It's about 30 feet away, but that's your speed, right? You're pretty fast. Pretty hot, bitch. Okay, I'll leave in the woods. I'm fast. That's some wood elf

shit. Sweet afoot. Great. Like the leaves. Okay, so I'm gonna heal myself real quick. Okay. Oh, sad for eight. And then I'm going to check out the door. Is there a crack underneath the door? There is a crack, a tiny little crack underneath the door, and there is like a light on in there. You see a little bit of orange light. Get on the ground and see and just be like, psst, it's dead.

I haven't learned your first name. Go ahead and give me, and go ahead and give me an, Oh right. Give me an investigation check as you as you look under the crack It's it's a teeny teeny teeny teeny teeny crack. Oh, that's something good 17 you see What looks like maybe a little half-ling Foot on the ground like dirty and helpful laying on the ground. Okay, that is The Knights who are having a bad old time

These guys okay this guy is going to guess you'll get an opportunity attack if he runs away So he's just gonna swing with his last breath. I will join the light my cause is righteous and he's Swinging on yourself dude. Hardwa. And he's definitely gonna hit hard one for 10 damage. He takes a second swing at hard one and he's definitely gonna hit again. 14 damage. Wow.

You're okay though. You're, you're still up but barely. This other guy he's trying, gonna try to get out from being restrained. And he does this time. He finally bursts from the fucking vines that he got vined with in the first round. And he still can't do anything because he had to do it at the end of his turn.

That is you, Bev. I'm just gonna do a vanilla slice. Slices slice baby. Dinin' in in in in in. That's playing on the radio. That's 20. That's 20. Nice. Oh yeah. Hell yeah. Baininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininin Strike that's a 12 damage on the first strike. But don't you get an extra don't you create don't you add a die? Yes, you add another dice. Okay, cool. It's been so long since Beverly's crit

Well, it's a one. It's a one. It's gonna be a one cool. Do I still add my damage? No, just just that exercise. Oh cool So just one more damage great big crit All right, and all right, I'm pretty good go go for it after a strike so true to Make another swing almost dirties the duel Shut up Do I get to roll advantage on each tech? Yes, okay cool I have made my swing recklessly as I have recklessly Throne myself into the game. Okay. It was it was cute at first, but it's just like you and I

and I and I have some dear things out a little bit now. This is actually a really great fodder for a song. We are a band. That's a part of what puts down his axe and takes out his wood rock. No, no, no, no, no, no. 15 plus 8 was at 23. So yes. All right. Cool. That hits. Craig is actually wearing super tribonic armor. It covers his entire face and he cannot be hit by anything super tri bonic armor yes I believe that's from some PlayStation game some some fighting game some monster

I believe it uh it's 15 damage 15 damage yeah cool so that's seven damage right the William tough my heart does bleed that... this must end at some point. Heh. Because to be in the stance with you, Beverly. I too feel that way. There's nothing more noble or great than a good fight with a good friend. Oh, cop tries to shoot him in the head. I think I'd like to get involved in this, uh, camaraderie, uh, but I'm missed.

Just stay out of this old cow. Okay, I'll take my second attack, it's the other guy, you guys seem to have a thing going on. I'm having a cool enemy fight, shut up. I apologize for getting involved. Take a shot at the night and he hits the super hurt one, I guess.

Okay, so he finishes him, he blows the nights hat off. Oh hell yeah, we did go. Go on. Yeah. Hey, thanks thanks I finally killed somebody one night very restrained and the crack sweet I think I might hop out of the car and go try to question the restrained night so you're you're grappling with this dude you're holding him down uh walk in I'm gonna search for a leg lock yeah you can figure for leg

lock I'm so you can still get a good view of the fight. Are you just making him watch the fight? Yeah, yeah, let's just circle up. Well, let's make a circle around bev in the crack. What a madness. I've been carrying some popcorn in my khaki pants if anybody would lock any. Can I use my chill? My chill touch to create a Necrotic hand, but it looks like one of those foam finger hands at a sports game. Absolutely, okay, so I'm showing popcorn with old cubs. I also take out my woodblock and start playing.

You guys circle up around Beverly and the crag in this epic duel. People will think of this battle Beverly right fucking now. They will clap. Yeah, will sing about it when we write a super dang cool song about it. Uh, he's gonna recklessly swing down on you. How can I not leave it all along the table with such a great audience? I'm so happy to have you all here. He's way, he waves out at everyone. I bob my little necrotic hand on bone finger. He misses.

He swings down, he misses on his first attack. Uh, any hits on his second attack? Four. How many damage is he's gonna do? How many damage is he gonna do? How many damage is he gonna do? He swings down, he misses on his first attack. Uh, any hits on his second attack? Four. How many damage he's gonna do? Oh, six damage.

Six damage? Six whammies? Alright. Six damage for you. That's nothing. You'll need to do more dammies than that to me. Do not do my voice That's your turn. All right. I got it. I've got one slot. I have to save okay

So I can't do anything other than just keep keep wailing on him great. All right. You get advantage on the axe great 13's it's gonna be oh 21. Yes, that hits okay That's gonna be 14 oh, 21? Yes, that hits. Okay. That's gonna be 14. Oh, damn. Okay, first seven. Does 20, yeah, 20 hits. Okay, that's not natural, but yeah. Okay.

And then that's 12. 12, dammys? Okay, 12 ding, ding, dammys. So that's half. Nice. He started to look pretty messed up. Well, you practice in your form when you, uh, before you came back to fight because you're a different man this time. We fought a dragon!

Oh boy, that's so exciting. I wish I could have been there. Yeah, I was pretty cool. Are we friends now? We're rivals. We're like, I'm like Gary and Pokemon, but big. Oh cool. That is his turn up. Through battle, I have come to know you better. Yes, I respect you and yet I want to chop your head off. It's like a presidential debate except you kill the loser. I somehow missed with advantage.

This is not going my way. Not like the first fight. That was awesome. Uh, he hits on his second attack for 16 damage. Oh, okay. Don't forget, I'm still strong. I would never forget that. I respect you too much.

The only thing stronger than my biceps is our sense of respect for each other, young Bevla. I was just looking at Moonshine, and he was like, this is a little much, right? This is a lot. So this is a rematch. I kind of, I wasn't there for the first time. Yeah, it is a rematch, bev lost.

But, you know, now he's doing pretty well, so. Woo-hoo! Bev, that's your card one. Put on my favorite jock jam. I like to move it, move it. I like to move it, move it. I like to move it, move it. I wanted Tootsie Roll, but that's good too.

When I dip, you dip, we dip's good to when I dip you dip we do Is 18 in a hit that does hit? Eight damage, okay, so that's slower to four okay, okay That's gonna be yeah 14 plus eight that's gonna hit yep, let's go. Wow, that's roll Thank you for indulging me in this by the ranking the volume cranking the volume. Oh, that's a eight plus seven 15 So seven damage. Uh-huh. Beverly finish him.

I don't. Huuuuh. Tell me what you do. I knock him to the ground. I point my sword at his throat. And I say, you're too beautiful. A sparring partner to defeat. But we need information.

What's going on at the keep? I, uh, hmm. Take your time. I have been dishonored both in losing this duel to a small boy and by betraying the king. I have blotted against the royal family. I ask that you please chop my head off now. I will do it, but I'll do it in the way that Pelor prescribes. And I do the, I do the beheading dance. Of course, the beheading dance. I crank a new jock.

And you Ned Stark style, honorably kill this man. Yeah. Well it takes, it takes like five minutes. Okay. He wakes, you see, he waits, you like five minutes. Okay, he wakes you see he waits you see him trembling a bit getting scared about getting his head chopped off. He keeps kind of winsing and sort of back his rage wears off as Beverly continues to dance and he just keeps moving to hell or come to hell or as your head waves farewell or I shall chop your head off no. And I take it off

Has your head waves farewell, Laura? I shall chop your head off, no. And I take it off. And then I do claim one of his teeth as my own. Great, you take his, you gotta crack tooth. And I turn it back to y'all, and I'm like, hey, sorry about that, I know that was kind of involved. Yeah, that was weird, man. Yeah, that was something else.

Me and Pop are still in ice cream out of a plastic baseball and I have real connection there. Yeah, that was kind of, I guess, battle does things to people, huh? Hey, I'm gonna go over and talk to this chosen knight in a bunch of times. Oh, fuck, he's still restraining still here. Jesus Christ.

Question time. Moonshine's got Moonshine and Papa are questioning him, but still eating their ice cream. Wait, I'm a cause of trading on the figure four leg locks. I'm just gonna tighten it up a little bit. Moonshine. Can I assist you? I would like to now take you know how I was using my necrotic hand as a foam finger Yeah, I would like to now take it and cup this guy's balls with my necrotic hand like in a threatening way Hey, you son of a bitch

Okay, okay, that's right. Meet my lawyer. It's okay. Hi moon shot Okay, okay, that's right. Meet my lawyer. It's okay. Hi moon chan Simon attorney at light here. It's time for your cross examination. I don't like your definition of the light. So What's your name first off? My name is Stuart? Melora that is just too innocent and cute. I'm not gonna ask why I stick your cold finger up his ass. Yeah, I your cold finger up his ass. Yeah, as a husband. You speak? You go like that. I like that.

I like that. And then I, and then I'm, and then, okay, so what is this plot? The chosen are trying to kill the boy king? So as this guy's about to talk and tell you more suddenly a javelin goes through his neck. Ouch. What?

And you look down the hall. I look at hard one to see if he did it. And like Shaggy, I say it wasn't me. It was not hard one. It was Glad Roselle. You guys look down the hall. You see that lit up room that moonshine had looked under and saw Bev's dad in there.

You see Glad Roselle has just thrown this javelin and he's standing at the end of the hallway. Okay, all right, let's give him the benefit of the doubt. Galad, thanks for the assist on that one. Good work, of course. I just think torturing people is, it just goes against everything I stand for. You are moral as fuck, aren't you?

Yeah. I understand. Usually when I have as fuck, aren't you? Yeah. I understand. Yeah, usually when I have a prisoner, I just knock them out. And you see he reaches into the room and he pulls out Beb's dad by the back of his neck, like he's holding a cat. And Beb's dad is beaten. His face is all swollen. You see he's got this crazy magical collar thing over his face

So he can't speak presumably so he can't do spells his legs are shackled and his wrists are shackled and Galad is holding him up and He looks at you guys and he says We've already neutralized captain to gold here. So I don't really care either way if you want to take him and go. And he just tosses him down the hall. I have you see your dad just like splat on the ground and just roll unconscious down the hall. This guy's a real piece of shit to other people's parents, right? Yeah, I'm gonna report spores on my buds here.

Okay, so you just vomit on them a little bit. I'm just like, I'm just like, oh, sorry. I'm just not used to seeing light bless you. Yeah, thanks. Thanks so much. And then in in their heads, I say I mean we came here to get Bebs dad, but I don't like the consistency of this guy sauce. Yeah, this dude killed my parents I think. So I definitely want to kill him. Just wanted to make sure we're all on the same page before I did something rash. I love these little pow-outs.

This is fun. Yeah, hey, so you guys are just standing there silently. I don't know what kind of tricks you're- One second. Glent, you know, I just have to be very honest with you because part of hospitality sometimes down someone's something they don't want to hear.

Uh, you can't hide what piece of shit you are. Ain't no amount of toilet paper that could clean up how shitty you are. In Munchan's head, I'm like, nice one. Thank you so much. You know, I feel like if I had thought about that ahead ahead of time, it could have been like a better one. I like you, that was cobbled.

Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, that was really good. Cobs in her head too. Oh, you're in a trouble. That's presuming you spit on him too. Yeah, no, I queved on him, but yeah. That was strange, y'all, but I'm here.

I'm glad Shouts from the end of the hall. And he says, our cause is righteous. Your people killed Marrick Hihill and then you framed Beverly Cho'golt the fourth. She's a lorry, you have to listen to her. You see his face just kind of twitches for a second. Hmm, what's matter, bumblebee land on your face? I know that you're angry with me, but sometimes you need to walk in the shade so that you can truly walk in the light. Oh, he has been working on that for a long time.

It sounds very rehearsed. You can walk in the shade so that you can walk in the light. Let's pretend we didn't hear it. Hey, what was that, Galad? I missed. You said you have to walk. You have to walk where? All right, I'm going to give you guys three options right now. You guys can take Beverly's dad and leave. You can fight me and die here, or you can join us.

The chosen savior has come to Glateron. There is someone who ascended to Godhood. It's...Pelor? Pellor's here? Pellor is a false God, Beverly, who sits on his plane far away, just forsaking us, letting us live here amongst filth, amongst enemies of the light. I'm more of a Melora girl myself. Another worthless God, who stays on her plane. Well, then who is this chosen hero you're talking about? Who is this God?

Search your heart, Beverly. You know who it is. You know that she has returned. She has returned from hiding, and she has ascended to Godhood. She? I look at my amulet. I see the crack growing more and more. The Allah is here.

The higher ranked paladins of the city have known for some time that the Allah was returning. There was a meeting of the inner circle. We chosen insisted that we replace the king with our rightful empress, but Merik Haihil and some of the captains refused. Meanwhile we were being hunted by the widow. They were just too many enemies of the light. Why are you so out of breath? You haven't moved a lot since we got here, right?

Take a one-year deep breath. He takes a huge breath and he turns again. We had to deal with the non-believers. So we destroyed the leadership of the paladin inner circle and snuffed out the widow all in one fell swoop. All thanks to you guys and Rosalene. And he holds up Rosalene. How did you find us? How did you spy on us? Through your sword.

No, but we broke the inscription. Yeah, but he spied on us before then. Where's the widow, Collette? She's where she needs to be. Where's that? Like I'm gonna tell you, hard bun. Wait, could you like hear us scratching it off? Yes, it was really loud in my headphones. Do you know what we wrote?

Show them I pull out the sword and hold it in front of him. It says fuck Galadro's I don't have time to deal with this the chosen has a lot going on today You can join us now or you can die with the rest of the green nights You can rest of the green nights and the rest of upper Galator on. Galator on. God is coming. We are going to cleanse. None of the above me.

But who me? I'm going to kick the shit out of you. I'm bringing your mom to the nine hells where she belongs. Oh, you know who I am. This was never about the light. Was it? You know what? Freak you all.

I popped a mushroom. Oh I bought that blue cat mushroom. I bought a This has been a trip. I bet another one And then I say y'all just follow my lead okay in the reports board Okay, yeah, I go to go and I say you know what that is a fair trade that you have offered us What you know given us that is a fair trade that you have offered us. What, you know, given us, given us the young-ins, Papa or whatever he calls them. And we're going to take you up on that. And then I turn to leave, but then I do a full circle and I turn around and I cast Raven

Feebleman on him. Okay, he got a nat 20 to see that you were gonna betray him. So roll with disadvantage on your attack roll. Okay, disadvantage is, well he's gonna have really high. 19, I still got a 19 with disadvantage. 19 hits, yes. Really? And that would be great.

And that would be great. He wears plate, but he doesn't have a shield out. I am so lucky that I rolled on to, I got really? Because he's so big fucking minimum. He wears plate, but he's he doesn't have a shield out He's so lucky that I that I rolled on just I got 12 and then a 16 in my so Moon Shine does successfully hit him He thinks he's got you clocked so as you go to turn He's like, huh? You think you'll trick me and he's like expecting you to sport something you just shoot him with this ray of In people mint. Yeah, I'm a lorby praise. Okay, I feel slightly weaker. I'm still.

Really? You sound real weak. Oh yeah. I feel a little sick. It's now or never, right? We can't let this guy run the show. Yeah, I'm going to charge this guy with my accent. Okay.

So hard one, as you go to rush down the hall, glad shakes his head and says, I spared you, Elias. Ooh, you son of a bitch. And that's where I'll end our episode. God damn. It's on and glitter on. It is certainly on and glitter on. Do you guys get exhausted after episodes with like a lot of combat? Yeah, because I do. It feels like it's more physical. I don't know why. It's draining. I sweat more, but I also was drinking coffee this episode. Yeah, I think we're all dehydrated. Every time I almost kill everyone, I get a little antsy. Okay, guys, we'll talk more about this show on the after show. You can listen to that at patreon.com slash nad pod. That's Na-d-d-p-o-d

Don't say don't say yet. We're not singing yet. It's called short rest. We do an after show for our patreon subscribers So guys go sign up for that follow us on Twitter at ch merfus me at called the is called well at jk her Which is Jake at yaxford is my own is moonshine sivan There is no Emily. Oh wow, check out me in Emily's book. It's called Hey You Up, Had a Turn Your Booty Call Into Emergency Contact. It's a hysterical relationship advice book. Yeah. So please check that out.

It's on Amazon and also you can get the audio version of it on Audible. Called Well Where Can We Send Books? And Books. Why Books? That's from A-A-A-A-A-A. Don't send us any freaking books. Send me the legend of Drizz or whatever. I'm gonna call you. Where could people send stuff? You send it to 1920, Hill or Sevene, number 222, Los Philly's California,

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We are, we are, youth of the nation, we are, we are. Guys, it's the end of the episode, so we're gonna shout out our benevolent Council of Elders. We got a few new people this week. Thank you, Melora. She whispers your names in her sleep. Yes, we got a few new people this week. Thank you, Melora. She whispers your names in her sleep. Yes, we got a few new people this week and some requests for specific titles. So we had to record this separately and unfortunately, Jake is traveling. So it's just us three. But let it be known that all of these heroes are far

greater than hard-won shorefoot, weakest of the band of boobs, weaker than paw paw. Let us weave tales of the council of elders glory. Emily will you kick us off. Okay, I would like to start out with Joe N, who is sort of the Fabio of Bohumia, wanted by all the Bohumian women, but he's off the market because he is the favorite consort of the demigodist Lucy.

Oh, wow. Then we got Jeff S, who's a puppy herder down at the creek, who actually taught moonshine how to scoop the original scoop. That's insane. Oh, the true scooper. The true scoop. My goodness. The scoop troupe.

The scoop troupe. Scillababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababababab Scoop Troop. Scoop Troop. Scoop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Go on. There we got Jim Jam Flin Flam, who's the one man band that actually played at Moon Shine's prom. I was gonna say Jim Jam has to be from the crew. How many band shows does he have on his knee? He's got one on every on every linking appendage. Elbows knee. On every ball and socket. On every ball and socket.

Then we got Xavier C. Xavier C is actually a terrifying reincarnating revenant. He has no mercy and he makes everyone piss their jorts. Oh my goodness. Oh wow. And we got also from the Crick, I guess, beginning with the jorts. Oh my goodness.

Then we got Matthew M who is the bully log prince. Surprisingly not from the crick. He's just like really really like a high fluten bullywag who rose the social scene at Glator on. Is this like an Ali Baba's situation? Yeah exactly. Made a wish on the genie to be the bullywag prince. Yeah.

Okay, cool. And then we've got Cutter W who raised an undead army to work at a soup kitchen. That's noble. So he's a necromancer, but a very strong cop. A necromancer with a heart of gold. Yep. With an unbeating heart of gold.

Then we got Brad D, who's the only Pebble Pot who isn't Craven, we have sung his praises before, but he is Pebble Pot the Braves. And we've got Steel Breaker, but he is Pebblepot the Brage. And we've got Steelbreaker whose armor is forged from the blades of his failed opponents who can impregnate with Butta Wink and who has spotted hard one at the gym. That's dangerous.

Yeah, I know. I know. I know, especially because, you know, it's hard one. As we all know, a lot of you gotta save hard one a lot because you can't live for it. I hear the hard one packs extra socks into his actual socks to make his

out of these caps. I heard that from Steel Breaker. And then we've got Phil Spar Lee Garden, the half elf who beat Mishka at arm wrestling and Tot Oldb to shoot. Half Elves, all man. Half Elves don't even get a strength bonus. I don't know how you beat Mishka.

That's a strong elf. Then we've also got Taylor B, a legendary bard to whom no item isn't an instrument. A Mishka, a diver. Taylor B's got a skip in their step. Yep, yeah. And a song in their heart. Yep.

And then we've got John S, who is the bioluminescent mushroom that moonshine in the gang that's it's Schubert. It's Schubert. Oh. What are our council of elders? It's Schubert. I didn't know Schubert was so loaded. We love you Schubert.

We love you Schubert. And then I've got James B, who's the best sprite brewer in all of Galeitaron. Oh, they said that means that means Beves first sip of sprite was definitely from James B. They still have an ancient cask of sprite remix. Yeah, the last one in Bohemia. Then I've got Henry A who originated Galad's catchphrase strike true. Only when he says it, it sounds cool.

Strike. Yeah, it's got got baritone. Very cool. Mm-hmm. Dylan B, the swordsman who holds 12 swords, a samurai octopus that defends the mystical C-elves. Whoa. Wait, they're C-elves? Oh, baby. You don't even know. Alaina C, knows what's a miss at the cr creek. And, you know, they're gonna tell everyone

once they get back after being lost on the astral plane. Currently lost on the astral plane, but how the best ones are on the astral plane. No service there. Andrew M. beat up six chosen paladins, then high-fived Polar and went down a water slide. Ooh, that's how you make an exit. There's an Irish good buy, and then there's a...

A wet goodbye. It was a great Saturday afternoon. Jordan DJ once made out with a fire giant and didn't even get burned. Thick skin, high constitution, great kisser. Waxy lips. Simon W, AKA soft loss, a bootleg version of hard one shorefoot Not a thick of calf or quad but available for half price

Danny P painted hard one senior portrait at the doorfinage It was a stick figure, but that's still pretty artistic for a door Yeah, that's still on the plus in a dwarf-in-age archer. I'm sure it was a thick stick, too. Ha-ha-ha! Tom P, aka the father of the realm, aka the serenator of sleeping babies, the patron dad of Bohumia. Awww.

An urban legend in their own right. We praise you, daddy. That is true. Dan F is a dualist who has defeated Durlin, not once twice but thrice the three-time champ of the green team duel camp What are you picking on Durlin? You know Dan F is picking on Durlin. It's not me. Scott D the mighty hammer of iron deep started mining one day with a hammer instead of a pick by accident But just owned it and now he has a really cool nickname Good for Scott D way behind on his quota of a pick by accident, but just owned it, and now he has a really cool nickname. Shit, that's cool.

So good for Scott D. Way behind on his quota. Spencer T. AKA Spencer Caskbrew. Elle Maker to Gods and Heroes of Bohumia alike, patron elder of libations. Oh, I'd like to thank him for this red wine I'm drinking. Beverly Dreams of those libations. Pedro E is a bard of the mountains who can clear a storm or summon an early spring

with his trusty woodblock. Dang. Ten times the woodblock player of hard one shorefoot. I heard him play at Red Rocks. Oh, yeah. With Dave Matt. Absolutely, yeah. He was backing him up.

And I've of course got Aaron C who drank 100 shots of Crickwater without passing out. Olkov couldn't even do that. I think that, yeah, and those were special Crickwater shots, that's Spencer Casper made. Yeah. And then I've got Hermes W who wrote the recipe for Bev's mom's sticky buns.

Do not let this get out. Bev's mom swears that that is her recipe, thatv's mom sticky buns. Do not let this get out. Bev's mom swears that that is her recipe, that it's a family recipe. Nope, came from the back page of a good house keeping magazine. Wow. Of course, then after that, I've got T. Alex, who is immune to vomit berries.

Oh, very popular. So they just eat them and they're like, oh, this tastes good. Yeah, they love it. I don't understand why everyone else hates them. You know how most people put like a little maraschino cherry in old fashioned? Vomitberry.

They muddle up some vomit berries and don't understand why no one wants to come to their cocktail hour. Yeah, it's a double-edged sword. Some unfortunate side effects of this immunity. We've also got Griffin SD, who rides a Griffin, but like an electric one, so it's not cruel. Oh, that's nice.

Like a vegan beast master. Vegan beast master. It's like gnome built, it's really fancy. If you can afford it, it's great. Oh, we've got a Harley S, who owns the most popular slider restaurant in all of Esri, which is of course five guideers, fries, it's great. Oh, we've got a Harley S who owns the most popular slider restaurant in all of Esri Which is of course five-guiders fries and sliders Yeah, but they're so small they're the perfect size they call nomish hamburgers

Hard one has actually been eating there a lot, which is part of the reason you so out of shape Sporhead so shiny I gave her a hard one to hear this. Next up we've got... Oh boy. Danielle, the dastardly dame. Goldsmith of the realm. She made the very throne upon which the boy king sits. No way.

She charged him double for it. Dang, she has supported Royal Rump. That's true. For generations, you should see the golden floral work on that chair. It's outstanding. Next, we've got Haldoor Frostback, member of the SS Stormborn, who fought alongside Elias

and Red in the Giant Wars. Hell yeah. Yeah, moved to Talbot Hill. To Talbot Hill. It's specifically metal. They man the giant metal. Hell yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's an adult shit. Mm-hmm. It's specifically metal. They manned the giant metal harpoons. Nice. Yeah.

We've also got Mani the Mundane, accidental deity who got in the way of a lichest spell to reach Divinity. Mani doesn't do much, and yet here mani is. That's really good. All right, we got Kim H, nor Weege and Barbarian Viking, super ripped, covered in bronze and wearing a thong. Woo! Dang, yeah.

I'm in. You've got my attention. I'm peaked. I imagine like bronze both in kind of like the luster of their skin and also yeah, yeah, it's like a God piece pointy. All right. We've also got Daniel you Just as a really great boat Nice got one of those see that couple you write that

I like that let's do that. Let's all apologize to Daniel you I like that. Let's do that. Let's all apologize to Daniel. You look like Daniel. You were really sorry. But also that's kind of fun. If you want to own that, like, lean in. I wasn't done. It's got one of those seats you can lift up

and you can put beer and ice inside it. Daniel, you were so sorry. That you drew a call to all this week. But it's got like a big, it's also got a gold mermaid. I'm gonna take in, I'll make you a god or something. I'll make you a god or something. Yeah, Daniel, you can I get a ride across the lake. Don't let Merff or hard one go on your cool ass boat, Daniel.

You can I grab a swim me down from under this pool seat? Take us to the Lazy River Daniel you the Lazy River in the sky and then last but of course not least I've got Parker E the third Parker brother who secretly invented D&D. Thank you so much Parker Yeah guy guys stole it Now he was the secret partner. He whispered in GuyGax's ear late at night. Oh, sort of a worm tongue of a board game development. Yeah, but good. Right.

Because like, you know, worms are important. Yeah. Well, I think that's all we got. Yeah, thank you guys so much. We truly appreciate you. We love you, Council of Elders. We will. We will see you guys at the short rest.

Go check out the short rest on the Patreon. Yeah. Thanks guys. I'm getting sleepy already. That was a hit gun podcast.