Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 18: Strike True (The Galaderon Saga)

Episode Date: June 7, 2018

The party faces off against the White Rose of Galaderon -- Galad Rosell! Can the Band of Boobs defeat one of the greatest swordsman in all of Bahumia? Bev calls upon the power of his big buff Santa Claus god, Moonshine discovers the true power of Rosaline, and Hardwon makes an impossible choice. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music/Sound Effects include:"Crackling Fire" by sagetyrtle at Freesound.org."Woodpecker and Other Birds" by Kyster at Freesound.org."Club Chatter, London" by mlteenie at Freesound.org."The Revenant's Fate" by Emily Axford. "A Fate Refused" by Emily Axford. "Escape the Boy King's Brunch" by Emily Axford. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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This is an exclusive offer specific to the podcast, so be sure to use the code PAPA to get your discount 100% free shipping and get it fast with brush processing. Code PawPawW-P-A-W. Goodbye, Sweeties. Welcome to the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Bahumya, everyone. Bahumya.

I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Hurwitz. Hard one, surefoot. Bahumia. I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Herwitz. Hard one, sure foot. Emily Axford. Moon Shanshaban, investigative reporter. No. All right, TBORTER. That's the best one.

Yeah. Thank you. Carl D'Altona, are you going to have to follow that? Beverly Togo, the fifth former president of the Galadro's L fan club. Ooh, that was good. That was a lot. Yeah, that was really good. It's a little lead-in.

Yeah, so guys, let's do a quick recap. And by quick, I mean, this very long paragraph I wrote. Ooh. Last week, you guys used your Dewarger drill car to bust through the ceiling of old Crag Water, but not before Beverly threw a stick of dynamite at the crag water keep awakening a sleeping, mithril dragon. You guys defeated the dragon with the help of your dope drill car, then burst through the floor of the glater on dungeon.

There you are attacked by several chosen knights as well as the crag, the king's bodyguard. You defeated the knights, then Bev redeemed his previous loss by dueling and defeating the crag. After interrogating the crag and a chosen knight, you learned that the chosen were working with some members of the royal family in a plot to take the city for themselves. Glad Rosell then revealed himself and offered you Bev's beaten and shackled father in exchange for you leaving without causing a further scene. Galad explained that the Allah had returned to Galator on and that she had ascended to

Godhood. She was the God that the chosen have been waiting for and she plans to reveal herself to the public later that day. Galad said in more or less terms that today was not only an execution for Beb's dad, but for anyone who opposed them. The green nights, the white nights, and the royal family were unknowingly walking into a setup. You guys then elected to fight.

Glad, Rosel. We'll see how that turns out. Hell yeah. So glad has been rave and feebled by Moonshine, which means he will do half damage on his regular, great sword damage. Ha ha. I will do saving throws for him at the end of his turns,

and I'll mention it if he breaks the spell. You guys also took the blue cap mushrooms last week that shubbert gave you which gives you the bless buff So you can add a de 40 or attacks and some temporary HP and it makes it makes the door sound like a more interesting band So that's where we are you guys are in the lowest level of the Galator on dungeon It's very dark except for these torches lighting. You guys are charging at Glad Roselle. Everybody roll initiative. Gladly bitch. Gladly indeed.

Gladly. 22 for me. Ooh, that's a 10 for me. I'll hang back. That's a four for me. I got hang back and concentrate on infeabling the people you're looking at. I'm still a little shook up.

What's old Cob roll? Old Cob got him hanging back and concentrate on and feebling the seat. I'm still a little shook up. What's old Cobb roll? Old Cobb got a damn 22. Cobb coming up strong. I would think Old Cobb would be kind of in the back because he's a range fighter. So Old Cobb's kind of hanging back while probably Bev and Hardwin are in the front. Yep.

Galadian. Me two guys in the middle, Hardwin you act first. Great. Swinging down on this mother wanna be fucker. Oh. Oh. Oh. That is, that's an 18, but I get to roll a D4. Swing down on this mother want to be fucker

That is that's an 18 but I get to roll a before yellow 18 hits anyway 20 oh sweet oh sweet oh, damn you went down in one blow You could be on the side of the chosen you've already helped us catch your mother. Fuck you, that's an 18 damage for you. Ha ha ha! Ooh, that's good. All right, I'm gonna take my second attack. You're only a little bit weaker than your father. You should be proud. You're like half a pirate. That one did.

That one probably did, get to me. That's only a 10, sorry. He's swing so emotionally and he definitely dodges you. That is Ol' Cobb. Oh wait, actually. Ol' Cobb. I'm, actually. Ol' Cobb. I'm gonna do my second win here. Okay, great.

So you get to meet me back. Oh, it's gonna put you in a good spot. So that is Ol' Cobb. Ol' Cobb says, Hey, that's a fucked up thing to say about my friend's old man there. I'm gonna shoot you in the face, he's son of a bitch. I do, I like to for a reason, Ol' Cobb.

Takes a shot at him. He misses on his first shot, just blunderbuss echoing through the prison. And he misses on his second attack, glad dodges out of the way. That is Glad's turn. Lee. And Glad swings on you hard one.

As you see, Rosaline glow with like a white gray necrotic flame. It's kind of like a fun colored flame. And he says, when I inevitably hit you with this because I'm the greatest swordsman in all of Bohumia, you will be blinded, but it'll be different than when I blinded Beverly's dad because I'm not blessed right now by the goddess. So, yeah, I'm worried this isn't going to be like when in Final Fantasy VII, when you fight with Sephiroth for the first time. Oh yeah.

And you're like, what the fuck? And he does like all those help. He does hit you. Oh, he hits you for half of his regular damage. Ha ha, cause he's a meable. So that's four regular damage plus three d8 smite damage and make a constitution saving throw

where you're blinded. Oh, okay. Does infealment, is it kind of like you just did like a lot of squats and then you're kind of shaky? Oh, I think it makes you feel like you're coming down with a flu. Oh, that's bad. Yeah, you got all sweaty. You know, it's powerful as you thought. I know. It's a 23. So you resisted.

He does do another 15 damage. That did hurt a little bit, but I can still see how big of a bitch you are. How are you not blinded by the light? Maybe your light isn't as pure as you think. So he blasts into you with this, and he swings again with Ros that. That's a 21 to hit. Ooh, that hits him. He's also going to use Divine Smite. So he's gonna expand the spell slot. So he only does four damage because it's halved,

and then he does another 10, another 14 damage. Okay. What are you at? 10. And he takes his third attack, and that is a 17-a-hits. That does it. Oh, fuck. Oh, no.

Oh, Laura. That's another nine-half to four. And he's gonna divine smite for another five. So another nine. Ooh, wow. That puts me at one. Okay. Still standing. How is this possible?

I'm in a lot of fucking bain here. A little loser. It took two rounds to take your dad down. Just two? That's not that much. She also admittedly, there were a couple guys with me, and some people were helping a little bit. We had a cleric, we had a whole little team, okay?

But still, I'm the best swordsman in all of Bohumiya. Sounds like my dad. That is moonshine's turn. moonshine's gonna kind of stroll up pretending like she's just there to talk to Galad. She's kind of behind hardwondo. Glad this is crazy, you kept saying Rosalene and I kept being like, oh this is ringing a bell for me and I remember now, we got a Rosalene down by the creek. I hope she doesn't have crick-rot

because we're gonna wipe out all those who are unclean. No, actually, she's a real rotten woman. I mean, she got evicted from her stump. She was squatting with, she was squatting at a beaver dam. They evicted her. I don't know how stupid, just do whatever you're gonna do. Ha ha then I put my hand on hard one. My turn is over I can't hit you right now. Okay well and then put my hand on hard one and I give them a cure wounds only a level one because I got much left. Oh if I cure wounds is that ruin

can I knock your wounds if I'm... If it takes concentration it ruins your... Then I'm just gonna shove a Healing potion down his throat Which I just was up behind hard one pretends to be giving a speech to glad then cracks open an ice cold Healing potion and pours it down his skull. Let's just bleeding out baby bottles them. Thank you It's 11 and then I'm gonna Real quick spores glad Okay, I fuck you He admitted to giving people crick-rott disgusting. No, he just said that he wanted to yes

No, he give them crick-rott. You said you were going to know that they're they're damned by fiends They'll will destroy them. What do you know about these fiends? Now fuck it take take three damage He took three damage Can I also report spores him? No, you already report it. Use your report spores for the day. It's gone. You don't think I got a huge luke-y's worth of report spores? According to your character, she's just dangling in my sinus cavity.

That is... She did take some for her spores library. That is Beverly. Okay. Moon Shine, hard one. Watch my dad. And I rush forward. And watch your dad, what be knocked out? I said that in my head.

I'm sorry. Oh my God, again, read mine. I've just, I talk to a lot of people and they say I'm really intuitive. So I rush up to him and with my fuck Galadro's El Sword, I hold it a lot often, I say, this sword has a new name now, a proper name, behold, the shining light of hard shine. Nice, dude.

And I slash at him, make an attack. With your bless. Yeah, with my last own replacement. Y'all been blessed by mushrooms. I know, God bless. Schubert helped, guys. Yeah, love Schubert. Oh, little Schubert.

Thank you, Schubert. 22. love Shoebert. Oh, little Shoebert, thank you. All right, that's 22. 22, that hits. Okay, great. Try and weasel your way out of that one, go lad. You don't ease a lot of anything. Yeah, right. All right, that's gonna be 12 on my first hit.

Go for your second hit. Beverly, you had so much potential. You could meet the Allah. You could serve the Allah. You could serve a God. I'll still, where is your big dumb buff Santa Claus now? Pellor is the one true God. The Allah, I hate to say it, but she's stealing light

for herself. And I attack again. Kill your idols, is right. Kill your idols. As I'm preparing my second swing, I rear back and I say, you know, there's a little saying in the green teen handbook about this very thing. And as I begin to swing, I recite, cling not to the strength of an idol's light, their torch will crumple under Pelor's right.

So if they claim to wield this might, then they must die in a holy fight. Roll with advantage. Alright. To wield this might the name us die in a holy fight Roll the bandage. All right, Kaloo Kalay Kalay not to mention young bad if you pull this off Guess what we are writing a song That's gonna hit to begin with your dope now. We're just rolling for net 20 Nice. Oh my god. Oh my god. Yeah. Yeah. Holy shit. Oh my god. That's right. It was right.

It had to happen. Go look at her. Go look at her. Moonshine hard one in Ol' Cobb. As you guys are looking at Beverly Swinging, you feel like you can see the ghost of this big buff Santa Claus, super-tanned and in a bathing suit, swinging a beach

ball along with Beverly swinging his sword, strike true into glad. Oh. Go ahead and roll your damage, and if you do divide Smite or something that doubles the damage as well, because it's a crit. You just roll off your damage. I just lightly prop up Bev's dad so we can at least see it. Yeah. He's blind. No. Oh. That makes this easy. Divine Smite, baby. Okay.

Uh, roll. Yeah. Roll your d8s for your long sword twice. Roll four d8s for your damn divine smite. So that's 68. Yep, 68 plus your modifier. So that's um 28 plus 7 is that? 35 damn damn dude Wow, yeah, we'll see who's lightest brighter. Oh Well young and you're making a good case for yours. Where is fucking scout master? Well your lights about to be snuffed out even if you survive here You'll be the last of the green nights. The Green Knights will never die. Our roots go deep.

Oh yeah, well the Green and White Knights are gonna be attending the pre-execution brunch in the Great Hall and spoiler alert, they're not gonna make it out. That is back around a hard one. Sweet. I'm gonna nod at Bev. Nice work. You're an inspired. That's... Adder. Did you get it? Hard as it's part of your name. That's a 22 to hit hard? It's it's part of your name 22 to hit that hits cool 10 10 damage Oh

Pretty good sir. Yeah, it's no pelore thing, but God do I hate this guy? I mean maybe you just need some kind of deity, right? That's it shit. I'm gonna start believing in Morty Morton again. I'm taking out my second tack on him Morty Morton again. I was taking out my second tack on him She tried being a pelore head like me. I'm good. That was a 26 that hits all right Another 10 whoo and This guy killed my parents and he's been talking about it a little bit So I think I'm gonna use my second wind or your action search my action search. Yeah, my action search

Tell me one more time. Bye. You killed my dad. Well, you see your parents got married and that that wasn't right actually shut up That's a 21 to hit 11 yeah that hurts him okay, so sorry what you were saying my dad my mom God, daddy your mom here your dad somehow tricked her He's a charlatan into falling in love with him for some reason 18 hits, right? Yes, shut up again Like my dad always says this guy runs his gob too much 13 13 damage yo we just watch hard one

Smack him I hit him over a single time I know yeah with an axe yeah Is there a fight taking gander at Bev's amulet? We'll allow it. I roll two hit dice. Two hit dice constitution modifier twice. Hey, the joy of Polo or fill your heart. It's five o'clock somewhere.

Ha ha ha. That is Ol' Cobb. Yeah, I agree. I think this fool's running his gob too much. Might have to go ahead and shoot that pretty gob off. See if those teeth for me, I would have been hit. Oh, yeah. Oh, Cobb hits and he's going to use his three times

of day ability to do an extra D10 of damage. Oh, Cobb, where you been hiding these abilities? Hey, you know what, before we were fighting some real freaking weiner, so I figured I'd save it. You want to use this on the goat middle, Cobb? Believe it or not, I did not. Would have been funny. Okay. Damn, 15 damage from Old Cobb and his first shots. You want to use this on the goat mental cup? Believe it or not, I did not. Would have been funny.

Okay. Damn, 15 damage from O'Cobb and his first shots. Boom, shoots galad right in the shoulder. O'Cobb is going to shoot again. Any crits? Yes, O'Cobb! Cobb, Cobb, Cobb, Cobb, you still got it old man. You know, at the crick when Cobb crits, you put it on a spit and rose it old man. You know, at the creek when Cobb crits,

you put it on a spit and rose it over fire. Got a little Cobb crits. Got a love of Cobb. Corn out. And he does 11 damage. I love that crits. The lad is looking pretty fucked up. Oh!

That's sweet. And that is glad turn. Glad he's turned. Who is glad gonna go after? Cause you know, I was talking some smack about Rosalene down at the crit. Cool. I'm gonna say, alright, he's gonna try to take you guys all out

in one fell swoop. He's got two third level spell slots. Oh, he's got three attacks. He's got a lot of smites that he can do. So we're gonna first off go after hard one. Why not? 17 hit, does that hit yeah It should learn to wear armor before pieces shit. You should I mean just like

Classism and here I thought you were a friend of the cricks if you did some breathing exercises You could probably do some stuff to like make your nasally voice a bit more attractive. Yeah, well damage half to six And then he's going to third level, smite you for another 12. How you doing? How you feeling? Okay.

Second swing. Oh, you know, I was starting to breathe like him. I was all in my chest. It wasn't getting a big belly full. Yeah, I was nervous. That's a 16 hit. Oh, that's still you hard one. 16 hits.

Oh, yeah, that hits. Okay. He's going to use I'm sorry. I couldn't shield a faith you so okay. I don't think you have anything to apologize You're last turn. Yeah, you're good 13 damage halft. So six. Okay, plus another 16 wow, okay Got it. I'm still up. Oh Okay Got it. I'm still up. Oh Not by what he takes his third attack

Miss he crits Miss her to her Everyone critting he misses You're down. Yeah, I'm deaf. He's gonna try to kill you with a shot. Oh, no chose and he runs back to them. You're down? Yeah, I'm deaf. He's gonna try to kill you with a shot. Oh, no! What?

What? He's gonna try to do negative as your hit points. Oh, God. Well, he won't be able to do that. For a hobby, he just crits and he's gonna do his smite. I don't know if that's how smite works, but we did it for Beverly, so we're gonna do it for a lab.

How dare you. House rules, baby. Okay. On his regular, quick, crit damage, crit damage nine plus 16 plus 21 half. Yeah, okay to 11 Okay 11 damage so far That you're doing Smites his motherfucker got and another 24 damage So 11 plus 24 yeah 35 35 total Yep. There's no more coming.

Yeah, he doesn't. He's not auto dead then. No, he's. I see how long go down, but I know via reports for is that he's not actually dead. And I'm just like, Aladdin, you thought you could take him out. Look how thick his legs are. He's lying on the ground, but the legs are. You could still see the healthy blood pumping through those thick legs. Is that all you got? Just the ability to render him unconscious?

My last words should be about that. If I survive till next turn, I'm going to kill him. Of course. We'll see. How? By just slashing him while he's knocked out on the ground. That is Moonshine's turn. Mother fuckers. Melora. Pelora, Melora. I don't want to get rid of the rain of infebelman on him

but I feel like I need to bring hard one back up. Oh, let me do it. I got my touch hands. Um, okay, then you know what? I'm just gonna chill touch. Oh, no, that's gonna be a spell. I can't do anything except for try to hit him and spores him. That's all I can do, so I'm just gonna try and hit galad. Okay. So it's not to interrupt the concentration of his infealment. 16 going, oh, wait.

Oh, wait. Yeah, let's just don't know the one. She rolled a one, rolled a one. Oh, nope. Oh, damn. And at least spores him. Just don't roll the one she rolled the one oh Nope, oh damn and At least spores him and I say you know Rosalene down at the creek She she actually got kicked out of the whistle choir I don't care it's crazy because you know she had she had no teeth So you can't whistle if you have no teeth. I don't care

He's a couple shut up. No whistle through. That's best turn. Turn your mouth and do a woodwind. I look at him and I say, I have a painting of you and me. I'm my tith birthday party. You were the entertainment. I treasure that memory, memory beveley. You could join me now.

You've tainted that memory worse than Crick Rot. And I touch Hans Hard One to heal him. Hey, what's up? And then what I miss. Awesome. As a bonus, yeah? Young, but remember, Crick-Rot, we don't want to stigmatize it. That's true, that's very fair.

Those were hurtful words, I apologize. Yeah, I would agree. Yes. Okay, it's all about learning, it's a journey about learning. So I touch hands hard one. So that's gonna be, that's five times your level, right? So that's 25. 25 back to me.

And as a bonus action, can I feed the arcane to hard one? Oh, young and you wild. I'll let you roll like an acrobatics check to see if he can just do it fastest Fuck like heal him while letting him Always like sort of trying to get the I got it. I got to touch his hand. Okay, it does You're like you just it does You're going to be magnetically drawn to hardwall

Like basically as I woke up I was reaching for the arc can't anyway. This is his spinach. Right. Do you need a roller? Yeah, I won the arc in It won't be a tough DC, DC 10. That's 12. 12, you did it. Woo, good. All right. So he essentially lay hands with him by pouring drugs into his nose.

I was dead a second ago. Hey, what's up? How's it going? I've got a lot of great ideas. I want to talk to you guys about, let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

Let's go. Let's go. Beverly, what did I tell you about drugs during that school trip? There was a whole presentation. The only thing I'm daring to resist is your rotten influence. Yeah, not to mention, I think you can't be smug about drugs when you murder people. It's true. I don't murder them. I defeat enemies of the lights.

I can't imagine that Theola is on board with this. Theola is our leader. She is the savior that chose and I've been waiting for. If you're even if you beat me right now, you'll still have to face a God. Maybe like all of us just take a deep breath to try and show you if we all do it together, you could get like a nice full breath. Okay, yeah. We take shallow breath. Into the nose, out through the mouth.

His trading card. His trading card. His trading card did say he had minor asthma. It's really an inspiration. That is hard one. I'm up and I'm up. I'm on my, I'm on my, I'm on my, I'm on my, what do I get on my, what do I get on my,

you can, you have two first level spell slots. You can either expend them to do an extra two d6 of damage since you have the red arcane. The spell you get is hellish rebukke, so you could also use that. Alright, I'm gonna, yeah, I'm gonna swing for him. Oh shit, I thought that was a 19, but still 24. Okay. 24 hits. Yeah.

Ooh, fuck me. Band of twos. Oh, cool. It's a damage. First you. A damage. Okay. That's...

Oh, then do I get to another D6? And then you do two D6ss if you want to expend your slot Let's expend one. Yeah, yeah 9 another 9 he is right fucked up roll a wild magic surge Be your 19 other beer you're good You you guys you guys see hard one is sweating like crazy like a crazy fucking co-catic That just did a ton of coke. I love this stuff We're gonna talk about this afterwards. Oh, yeah, we're gonna talk about where we can get more. I'm taking my second attack

Do it for Riva 18 18 hits great This is a just a bad thing for the kids 17 damage. Yeah, hard one Finish for the kids. 17 damage? Yeah. Hard one. Finish. What? Oh, shit! Oh, fuck. Oh, man. The Laura is good, she shans on her children.

Polorn, Laura, I'm doing a big ol' jig. Yeah. I'm going to start just twirling my axe or a baton. As you twirl your axe and he's down on one knee, a blood coming out of his mouth. And he says, do you know what happens to your mother if you kill me and she doesn't fulfill what she was supposed to do with her God? I'm going to keep on twirling me ass. Why don't you tell me?

She made a pact with a God so that she could kill me with her own blade and be reunited with your father If you kill me right now your mom disappears and her soul is lost forever in the astral plane I via rapport spores. I'm saying like I don't know if that this sounds like a desperate life since it's Rick You'll never see her again Can we do an insight roll sure? I Guess hard one you should do it You rolled a D12 you dummy Thank God, thank you. We're so dumb still a bad roll for a 12 though

That's insane what what you wrote. I got the exact same I got a three Everybody roll like insight checks to see if you guys know what's going on and Old cob crit old cop no all cob no support sports. I'd sure like to blow this guy's head off But what he's saying about Revenant? He ain't hate lion. He made she made a pact She doesn't fulfill her end of the bargain then. I think I'm gonna just keep on twirling the axe You could still save her. I know then. I think I'm gonna just keep on twirling the axe. You could still save her. I know where she is, and I'm gonna say, I'm stuck here, fucking dick.

Ha ha ha. My name is Elias Stormborn the second I think, unless I have a grandfather. Ha ha ha ha ha. Faster to the mountain, son of the sky, you killed my father. I'll talk to the god myself and I'm gonna chop his fucking- Whaa!

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Glance head, rolls. Oh, that's- God, that felt good. That's such a good idea to just be like, you know what? I'll go to fucking court himself.

Word like my dad, right? Yeah? I maybe just fucked my mom over, but I never knew her anyway. Yo, I love that move. You see, old Cobb takes a deep breath. Old brother. Well, moonshine. It's the real family's the family of make, right?

Not the family that birthed you and then got lost forever into the... moonshine blushes and she says, I'm so sorry, Hardwon, but that made me start ovulating. It just takes me on like that. I am, I just practice it almost as much as he practice his line. I run over to Hardwon and I just like wrap myself around his thick quad and I just, I was basically sort toward Gladys Headless body. Y'all that is wild. We got lucky. Yeah, finally

I got you the whole shitload of time. Let's not test mate because There's still a lot of people upstairs having brunch that want to focus over. We got to get out of here All right, I'm just gonna take a peek at this mine car. Oh, yeah, it's done. This thing's done Absolutely done. You know we go ahead and release this unconscious father that's on the ground. Yes, does anyone have any lock picking skills? Yeah, I look at Papa. Yeah.

Papa starts by picking the lock. Papa starts biting at it. I'll roll for Papa. Papa's time is really good. He is a scramble boy and he has. Papa crit. Papa is nying at it, does not get it open. I never met a lock, Papa.

Old cops like, you know what? I've been called a bit of a locksmith down at the crit. He walks over and he just wildly starts shooting. That is my dad. He breaks into a lot of people's stumps. He does. Oh, that is my Papa. So he blasts off the ones on his wrists. So he blasts off the ones on his wrists.

And he blasts off the one on his legs. But not the one on his mouth. He goes, you know what, this is not risky. Yeah, you're not as much of a crack shot as you want, Swirr. Can I take the tooth? I got off of the crag and use it to pick the lock on his face. You know, like wait a little. Yeah, it's like a twirl lock.

So I imagine her. No. I'm stick a tooth in the lock. Yeah, it's like a twirl lock, so I imagine. No. I'm stick a tooth in the lock. Just let him lose his tooth in the lock. Can I just, I'm gonna, can I case the sell and see if there's a key anywhere? I'm desperate, all right? Yeah, there's nights all over the ground. You guys got a glad bodies right there. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna just do an investigation on all of them to see if they got keys.

Full, full fucking disclosure. I can't believe you just killed Glad and doomed your mom. This is insane, I wasn't expecting that to happen. That was such a cool move to be like, I'll talk to the God myself. Yeah, I just couldn't. I could not. I could not have him be alive any longer. I'm sorry, I don't wanna.

That's big, that's big. I wasn't like sitting there being like, I really don't want him to, I really don't want him to. Yeah, I don't want to drag him everywhere. This is an exceedingly practical question, but can we save these magic cuffs to maybe use on a prisoner later? Olcub just shot them off with a water gun.

I met the one on the face. The one on the face, yeah, okay. Yeah, you could, I mean, nobody's taking it off yet. It's difficult to take off. You can try to find keys on people who are nights. Glads right there. I'd also like to just take this moment to recognize some of glad's last words where I'll suck your fucking dick.

You know, the light risk really shines through some people. It really does. Can I roll an investigation check to see if I can find the keys on anybody's body? Yeah, go for it. So while they're doing that, I just want to be cleaning up the bodies, putting them into one cell. Okay.

And then like, case in the joint, making sure that, like, you know, if I'm at the door, I'm listening to hear if anyone's coming, I'm being proactive. Great, okay. So you don't throw something on the door. So you, I also rolled an 18 on my investigation.

18, you find sets of keys on, Galad has a set of keys He's also got Rosalene that's just laying there on the ground. Oh shit. Oh, I think that we should throw Rosalene into the abyss Oh, that's cool. Yeah So if one of you guys wants to like pick up Rosalene and try to attune yourself to it to kind of investigate it Maybe I do that well hard one shoves me aside, having found the actual key. Okay, I'll start trying different keys on Bebs Dad's face.

Great, you can do the sort. So hard one is gonna take you a little bit. You've got like a big key ring that you're going through and you're trying it. But in my hands it looks small. Just tiny, tiny little keys. Ah, ah. Meanwhile, moonshine, you are able to clean up the bodies

and put them in cells. You see that there are only about 12 cells down here and they've all been emptied. So they were kind of clearly this was a little bit of an ambush. They were planning on you guys coming here. Yeah, that felt pretty clear. So they're like a door we could lock.

I wanna, I kinda wanna throw galads. I wanna do something with galads head something spiteful Oh, we know we should hang on to it to present to the alla and the chosen to say that their their koo is off or something Well, it may be not to do that. I do believe the alla will destroy it either way. I'm just gonna take glad I imagine he had long hair. Yes, so very long hair. I'm gonna tie his head by the hair and a little knot. I'm very good on my belt. On your belt, Luke. Yeah, she's just.

Bravo. I say, now that is some decor. I'm gonna stick a little gold piece in his mouth. Like, this is my new coin purse. Can I put my chaps stick in there? Of course. Very fashion for you. Can I use a little bit of it?

Yeah, absolutely. It's a little tub. Nice. So what? It's absolutely, it's a little tub. Nice. So it's actually a monkey butter, Crick grease. It's really a Crick water in this? You're getting a buzz. So Bev, as you're attuning yourself to Rosalene, you do hear voices whispering.

You hear, I do my best galadim pression. Please do it. A bulldy woke made it call. Hello, it's me. Galadrosel, a real cool guy who loves the light. And I'm here to say that I'm fine and everything's fine and that dirty daddy in the jail cell is still there and nobody has come what's going on top side, mateys.

You hear no response. There are runes in this and it looks like a, it's almost like a spell scroll on a sword written in Elvish. And some of it is in like a weird tongue that you might not understand, but you do recognize the word scrying. Is it like one of those? Scrying, that means spying. It doesn't, but is it like one of those?

It does in this game wise-ass. Oh, yeah, you know. It's fair enough. You have played a lot. I'm the stranger. You have Scraspill. I'm a first scratch bell. So is it like one of those like LED bell buckles

where it just kind of scrolls across the sword? No, like a scroll, like a scroll. OK, I like mine better. What is scrying? I ask moonshine. Scrying is when you can listen in on other people. Oh, yeah. So if you have like, you can listen in on other people. Oh, yeah So if you have like you know the fixings of a person say their nails or even just the their likeness and image in your head

You can try to spy on them. Oh, so I believe it's a fourth level. It's pretty impressive. Do you think this is a scrying sword? That means that someone's listening in on us. Oh, I thought that meant that Galad was listening in on other people that we could listen. We could use it, because he was using it to listen in on us. He's tracking everybody. He's a little fucking voyeuristic. He's a little sword is the NSA. Yeah. So let's see if you can listen in on this plan

to assassinate the boy king and have the chosen fuck everything up at the point. I guess, I wanna focus in, maybe I just like think of a name or think of like a person. I wanna think about Edmund Lorel. You are not able to, as you're listening in, the voices are coming in a little clearer.

You don't recognize the voice of Edmund Lorel, but you do hear some children talking. You hear children talking. You hear some adults talking, like a conversation in a big echoey place. Those are children's birthday party. Maybe. Can you make this out?

I hold the sword up the moonshine. Moonshine, go ahead ahead make a robber some chat I hold it like a phone Hello Hello moonshine here go for moonshine Ha ha That's a nat 20 Yeah, okay here you recognize

Good be a crit You recognize Two voices you hear three like main people that the sword is picking up, that these are the people that are holding, you know, Rosalene's sister swords that are letting him scry on people. You hear the voice of Durlin. You hear Durlin and you hear Lieutenant Naaman, the guy, one of the guys who came to Bev's house to tell

you that Bev's dad has been arrested. And the third person you don't recognize. These are three separate conversations happening in different places. So... Laura, what? What? Anyone we know? Uh, yeah.

Oh, well, first off, I'm holding the sword like a mom holds the phone while she's cooking. I'm talking at her pants. Uh, yeah, I got a, I got Durlin on here. Oh, what? How's he doing? Not good if he's getting scried on. Hmm. Okay, so I got Durlin, I got a lieutenant, and then I got someone I don't know. Right. Does this someone I don't know sound like a female voice of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little I've learned about Dirland. Yeah, I mean, we just saved that guy. This may be a fool's errand, but I'd like to open the door that Dirland's.

Dirland number one. So you focus up, focus on Dirland. You picture Dirland. Suddenly, do you guys all want to kind of touch the sword? So you guys can all see this? Beverly was already focused on Dirland. Can I put it on speaker phone? You can put it on speaker sword.

Speaker sword? So you guys all put your hands on Rosaline? Uh-huh. Can we please stop calling her Rosaline? You can still hear Galad's voice. Welcome to Rosaline. Welcome to Rosaline. That's not here right now.

And now we'll be again. So you guys put your hands on the sword. And suddenly you are seeing through Dirlin's eyes. You guys see that Dirlin is in the castle courtyard. He's with a bunch of other green teens, including Cran. They're all in little green suits. Beverly, you would recognize this as the green team glee team. And they're prepared. It looks like they're preparing to do a performance. You know what they're

walking into. They're walking into this ambush. Yeah, I am not impressed by this because this green team glee team is going to sing a song at your dad's execution. So you see, definitely at one gig I'd turn down. So Dirlin and Kran are talking and they're like, oh, this seems pretty messed up, man. I don't know what to do here. Well, I don't know what they said that. They said that he killed the high priest.

So I guess I guess Beverly's dad's a bad guy. Later on, young and so on. Just following orders, how are such cameras? And Bev, you see, you see a Gwayne kind leaf. This is Irland's older sister. She is like a 19 year old halfling. She was like the best green teen ever. She graduated before anyone else. She's Irland's cool older sister that like hates all of you

guys. She's called the Lady Snake or she calls herself the Lady Snake. She wears a green helm that has fangs on the top and on the bottom that cover her face. And she's smoking Moonshine desperately wants to mentor her. She's smoking a cigarette and she goes Where the hell's Irland you little turds? And they're like oh Actually told me not to tell you just fuck fucking tell me where where he is Dirlin and she punches Dirlin in the shoulder and he goes oh, geez. He said He said he was worried about Mrs. Tolgold, so he went to go to see her.

And she goes, ugh, I better go get him. And you see she walks off. Oh no. All right. Okay. And you guys can see a crowd kind of gaffer. Okay, y'all. Do we have a lot of time?

I also think that we are not prepared to infiltrate this red branch. I do believe that we should send a message in whatever way we can to the green team Glee team and tell them to peace. I got an idea. Okay. Yeah, can I use this moonstone the speaking stone the speaking stone Yeah, yeah, nothing moonstone Speaking stone call uncle red having pick us up Maybe we can do something to these weather things on our way out. If we can cause like a little storm.

What if we kidnapped the king? Just throwing that out there. Okay. Yeah, let's kidnap the king. Don't break my Uncle Red's hair. This is fucking nuts, I love it. I think we should kidnap the kid. Hey, Uncle Rhett.

Hey, what's up kid? One last, one last job. Right. You got to come pick me up at the top of the castle. It's going to be a couple extra bodies here. We got Bev and Moonshine. Hi. You know those guys.

Old cob of course. Fred on. and Moonshine. You know those guys. All in a cab, of course. Right on. Old Cobb. My dad. Yep. Oh, by the way, the head of Galad Rosel, got the killed my dad. He killed him.

Yeah. And then the boy king's gonna be on the ship too. All right, so the king. Holy fuck. We're gonna grab the kid. Shit. All right, well it's gonna be pretty fucking hard for me to get an airship up there.

There are quite a few airships hovering around Galatoron at the moment. Can you get us close and we can maybe do an infiltration mission and kind of snatch him? I imagine security will be pretty tight, but... Yeah, I think this is gonna be a no-fly zone. I don't think we can have an airship just hover over. Is there a place we could rendezvous? Right, is there like a high dock for an airship up on the top of the building?

Where is the brunch happening in the Sky Chamber? The brunch is, you know that the execution is happening out in the castle courtyard and that there will be kind of everyone there. There'll be like a huge crowd and that there's a stage set up, sort of Ned Stark style stage in front of all the commoners and inside the Grand Hall that that throne room that's where they're having all of the nights meet. There's a big ass window. Yeah. If we could just

get him to like stay in a far away range and then ram that moon window when we're ready to book it or even just like fly close to it and we break through and jump on the ship. I think we got to give him a signal. Before we do anything else though, I want to maybe grab the sword and like see if I can page Erlin and Cran. So this isn't the way this spell works, but I'll tell you what. I will just let you roll pure fucking luck roll. Yeah. If you get an at 20, you can contact them via the sword, but that's not the way the sword works, so this would be like divine intervention. Gotcha. Well, might as well roll.

Yeah. Might as well roll. Wait. Use the dice. Thank you, Michael Z for sending us these dope-ass teal gold dice. This is the heavy roll. These are heavy dice.

That's a 10, the tapah 20. All right, okay, inch in our way up. It wasn't a two. So you're trying to go through and do this. You're not able to send a message through, but you can hear Lieutenant Naman and you can hear this other guy talking who Beverly actually you recognize.

This is, his name is Lieutenant Aljabux Duxley. He's a stout halfling who was the second in command after your dad, so he's kind of leading the green nights. Uncle Duck. Uncle Duck, yeah. What's Uncle Duck talking about? So, Bev, you focus up on Uncle Duck, and Uncle Duck is down in the church district.

It's still early, and you can see through his eyes, you see that there's all these nights kind of gathering. It's all really solemn, and he's going, great nights. Today is a dark day. In the words of our great 10 Santa Claus in the sky, it is five o'clock somewhere, but it is not five o'clock here. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha some friends there are doing his final moments. And everybody's kind of murmuring in agreements

and they all start to file out to their church. I hang up the sword. We gotta book it. All right, let's go. If we're gonna do this, we have to go now. Yeah, let's go. Okay. I mean, I would just like to listen at the door

that I believe leads upstairs and see if I hear anyone. Yeah, we should stealth out of the door. Yeah, I'm gonna try and tell me what you're gonna do. I'm gonna look under the crack in the door. You look under the crack of the door, go ahead and give me just a perception check. That's a good thing. Jack, shit.

What does an 11 get me? You do not see anyone. I think we busted their trap. They had Galad they had the crag they had all these nights But remember that some of us have three first level spells left for the rest of the day Oh, yeah, I think I mean I am not trying to get us into a battle with everybody But we have to get out of the dungeon and we have to get into we have to do something to stop The assassination of the children and everybody else. Yeah.

While we're doing this, I just want to make sure that my dad is okay. My dad, you do eventually find the key and you open it up, it cracks open. Bebs dad is now free from all the chains. He still has like broken chains on his wrists and on his feet, but you're able to get the one off of his neck. I guess you can also, if you're going through all the keys, you can also get the remnants off his hands and his feet, but he is knocked out and he's like super beat up. So there's no talking to him.

Unless you guys heal him. I use my amulet. You use your amulet. He needs to look at it and use a bonus action to do this. I can look at it and he's knocked out. All right. I give him some arcane. I think we've used up all our arcane.

Yes, we sure did. Does anyone have a potion or anything? Why don't we just... I have heals. I don't think I should be using one of my three first love spells. I'll carry around this little one and he just throws... Oh, Cobb. He's always there to carry around one.

Thanks, little Cobb. No problem. I need the first time I've wrangled a young and although he's... Maybe he's an olden. Yeah, he's an olden. Okay. Although, you know, youngen for me, I am 300. Oh no, I'm a crackin' off old cob, you get me.

Keepin' a light old cob, I like that. Keepin' a light bud, I appreciate it. Let's sneak out of this dungeon before everybody upstairs. Yep, okay. So who's leading the way and give me a stealth roll? Whoever's leading the way. I guess that's gotta be me.

Okay. Cause I got advantage from my little booty. Okay. 11. Let me roll a perception check for somebody. I hope they are imperceptive. They roll the two. Oh!

Bash out into the two crew. That's a happy shadow. That's a good guy in the two crew. So as you start to open the door, you hear the voice of Edmund Lorel go, glad what took you so long. Glad is it done? Have you done it? Yeah, yeah, we all have the door and grab. No, this guy's just a fucking commenter. You fucking grab him. Great. I take a limb. Yeah, funny, right? What if you I told that cocky idiot to bring more men down here.

Oh, do you want to tell him again? I lift up his head. Jesus Christ, you savages. Do you understand who we're up against here? Hey! What's your name again? Edmund? My name is Edmund.

Edmund, do you want to be dangling from one of Hardwan's belt loops? Because I know he's got one for you, if you don't want to. Do you want to be Edmund? Sir Edmund, I would like to appeal to your better senses. I don't want a hard one's belt loops because I know he's got one for you if you don't want to be deadmaned Sir deadman I would like to appeal to your better senses. I just want to live. I mean I worked Sir, we want you to live too and want the boy king to live as well He's been caught up in the crossfire of a lot of big important events and it's not fair for a young child To suffer that Beverly deadman does not give a shit about the boy king.

He is currently plotting to kill him. Well, it's not that I don't care about the boy king. It's just that I care about living and when there's a damn god that's gonna come back. I tickle him. Stop. Do you know the Pebblepots? I do know the Pebblepots.

Do you respect the Pebblepots? No, they're gonna die today, okay? You seem like a real Pebblepots? I do know the Pebblepots. Do you respect the Pebblepots? No, they're gonna die today, okay? You seem like a real Pebblepot yourself though. Yeah. Okay. Distant relative at least. We have a chance. You have a sample of runs.

We can be sure. We can make this all right. We're all on the same side here. We all want to live, right? Yes. Yeah. Look, you're fighting an unwindable battle. The city is already lost.

As soon as the Allah decided to come here, it's done. It's over. Make way for our new queen, right? is it coming today or is it just a massacre to pave the way for her you see he starts instantly pissing himself no no she's coming today I shape the water I freeze it I freeze it so that it's uncomfortable and is your refill. This is terrible. What is the, what is the chosen's plan?

Look, okay. I had no choice. The chosen have slowly been dismantling the leadership of the other Paladin sex. You know, that's why they got rid of Marriott Highhill. They framed Beverly Togo, the fourth. They killed the captain of the White Knights last night. They're leaving the Paladins rudderless. The rudder... The Paladins have no leadership at all. And when the alla comes back, a lot of them are gonna join the chosen and the ones that don't are gonna get killed because spoiler alert, me and the crag have kind of been letting the chosen sneak in.

There's a bunch of them up on the second floor right now. When they come into the grand hall, the green nights are gonna die, the white nights are gonna die. And that's just how it is. We need to accept that. There's a god here, okay? There's a damn god. I don't know if you have ever seen a god like for real. Okay, but I'm asking you, is she physically here or is this Pave and the way we're coming back? Answer a damn question. She's Pave herself. Okay. Where? Get the freaking sky she can fly! Oh! This is himself more.

I freeze it again. She just can't leave. She just disappears. Okay. Okay. Okay. This episode of NAD pod is brought to you by Bird Dogs. There are a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered. Now we all know when the legwear war begins and we're forced to choose a side, it's gonna be difficult. Luckily Bird Dogs has made the decision of which pants and shorts to buy a little easier.

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code pop-up at checkout. That's birddogs.com slash pop-up or promo code promo code Papa for a free Yeti style Tumblr You won't want to take your bird dogs off. We promise you. Okay, that's it for me go team pants and enjoy the show Is that all the information you have for us No, I know a lot more really Really? Yes, I know tons more. Insight. Go ahead and do it inside, Jack. Thanks to the two crew.

Okay. I also got a two. Two crew. Look, okay, don't kill me, I can get you. What do you want? What do you want? All I want to do is live. I don't give a shit.

How to stop the massacre. Okay, bye. That's all we want to do. We don't care. They can install the olive. I don't give a crud, but we just got to get these innocent people out of here. It's still very early, okay? Most of the green nights aren't even here for brunch, okay?

Okay. You go talk to the green nights. You tell them not to come. I don't care if they kill the green nights. I just don't want to die. Alright, so we stop the guess from arriving. We essentially just go around and sort of do the opposite of an invitation. We cancel the party.

We cancel the hotel, everyone. So we just need to start a PR campaign that it's canceled. You know, I feel a better party. I think that. That's the best idea. That's the only idea. We have to throw a party so good that no one's gonna go to this one.

Take me to a kinkos. Take me to a party city. Laurel, we need paper plates, you son of a bitch. I gotta make a lot of napkins ones. All right then, you know what, Laurel? Here's what you can do. You gotta smuggle us up to... It's Christ.

The patio. Oh, come on, you're covered in your own piss. Do you think that you have any sort of leverage here? I, no, I will do it. I'll suck your dick. A lot of people keep offering that. A lot of the chosen have been offering that. I've got the chosen, I don't care about their stupid plan.

Well, we need you to get us safely and unseen to the patio or that little out courtyard area where like the glee team is hanging out. Fine. That works for me. Alright, let's go. Can I do an inside check if he's going to like the TREAS? Sure. Oh yeah, good call.

That's it. That's it. That's it. TREAS. TREAS. I mean, you get the sense from this guy that, we see what makes him sick. He can see himself.

You see what makes him tick? He's just trying to survive. If he thinks he can walk out and just yell and get you guys arrested and not die, he might do that. If he thinks you guys can get away, he doesn't give a shit about the chosen or this crazy plan.

So can I, let me just try to intimidate him real quick, okay? Like, you saw that we killed the, the crack. You're looking at Galad's head. Do not cross us. She blew a poison as dark into a harmless little gnome. Earlier today. It was disgusting. It was, it was, it was deceitfully.

I look, I am not. I didn't, I did it to defend your honor. You were right to do it. I'm just saying that we are ruthless killers. If you yell, we will happily fight theala whoever, but we'll kill you first. Sir, you will wish it God killed you. How about this?

If you so much just make a cowardly noise, I'm gonna blow spores up your urethra. Okay, fair enough. I don't want that to happen. Great. You just want to get out of here. Yeah. All right. This is the bottom level of the dungeon.

I have keys. We can get into the other levels of the dungeons. You knock out the jailers there, or kill them. Do whatever you want. Do whatever you little freaks want to do. Oh, who's the freak? KILL! You're so good, you're in.

You're so good, you're in. Some of it. It's literally you have a head hanging from your pants, okay? It is normal to piss yourself in the situation. It has somehow defied logic. Your pee has defied gravity. It's like crawling up. I had a lot of water this morning.

I had a lot of water this morning. Also, I don't think you had a lot of water. It's a little yellow. I had a lot of coffee as well. Okay. Maybe more coffee than water. It smells, yeah. Okay, if we can go up, we can knock out some of the jailers,

take their armor, disguise yourself. There are halflings, there are humans, there are plenty of ways for you to. All right. Let's go before this party starts. What are you gonna do while we do this? I'm going to get you into the doors. Oh my, I'm a little nervous.

I think I'm gonna deal with this because he is just a handful and I didn't got hands for it. I got him, I'm just gonna time, I'm gonna time to my side. I think that's a good idea. Oh good, no, this is great. Yeah, no, this will be really convincing.

I'm the hand of the king and I am tied to a peasant. This is, I'm not a shard. I'm not a peasant. You look like a captain of a goddamn airship. Well, yeah impressed Not really. Okay. I've been flown one before except for a little practice, but I Live in a castle really. Yeah, it's great. It was great until these religious fanatics showed up Oh, you don't like the religious I don't like anyone here. I don't like any of these people I don't like the king particularly. I would like to be the king, particularly. I would like to be the king.

Your boss is a 12 year old. Sure is, I don't like him. There is that. I did like the part of the plan where we killed my nephew, but I don't like the part of the plan where Thiela takes his place because, you know, she's got to like my nephew, except she could kill, you know, this part of the world, just blow it up.

Coward before you pee again. Just let's get moving. All right, he pisses himself again. Geez, you guys make your way up this stone spiral staircase with Edmund Lorelle leading you, piss leaking out of the bottom of his pants. At the bottom where you guys were the fourth level of the dungeon, the bottom,

there are a lot of spider webs and it's pretty, you know, unkempt. As you guys get a little higher to the higher floors, it starts to be like a little bit more well-traveled, like more people come through here. So you guys get up to the third level and there's a door there. Edmund says, this is the third level. There's not too many prisoners down here, but there's probably one or two jailers in here that you could pretty easily knock out Knockout you savages. I was gonna say let's have him call those guards over so we have easy picking on them. Oh, that's nice We can get surprised on them. Yeah, that sounds good. Yeah, you're gonna lay the trap. Whatever. I don't care I don't care about these people's lives. I don't care about you. Tell them that you pissed your pants and you need one of their pairs of pants.

Ugh! Ugh! Fine! Mmm! Wait, wait, wait, wait. Can we decide exactly how we want you to say? Oh, good idea. Um, I want you to say I tingled my traps. What if he said that he saw a bug? He saw a bug.

He thought it was a spider, but it wasn't a spider. Anybody thought it was? He tingled his drowsiness. I'd like him to say it in his very high pitch voice. I'd say that he needs both of them because he needs one person to give him the drowsiness and the second person to put the drowsiness on him. I want to put my throwing axe just like, slide it right up next to his balls. Just so he gets nice and slow.

You throw axe, gets a little wet. Oh my, oh it's fine. Okay, he pulls out his keys, jingling, they're shaking with like how nervous he is. I haven't been controlled by all these people. I think I'm a trod. I think I'm a trod. I think I'm a trod. I think I'm a trod.

I think I'm a trod. I think I'm a trod. I think I'm a trod. I think I'm a trod. I think I'm a trod. I think I'm a trod. I think I'm a trod. I think I'm a trod.

I think I'm a trod. I think I'm a trod. I think I'm a trod. I think I'm a trod. I think I'm a trod. I think I'm a trod. I think I'm a trod. I think I'm a trod. I think I'm a a bug. I thought it was a spider. It wasn't a spider. And I got a little nervous and I tinkled my trousers. Okay, I need your, and you just hear the guards bust out laughing. It's not funny. I need your trousers. Take off your pants. Do you have to say I'm a tinkly little star I'm a tinkly little star. Nice. I'm a tinkly little star. I need your damn pants. Absolutely epic moonshine

And you hear voices from the inside go why can't you just go up to your room and get pants? I am the hand of the king and I tinkled my trousers Say I'm a wet little guy. I'm a wet little guy Say, say, I'm a wet little guy. I'm a wet little guy. Ah. Fine, man. Yeah, I'll, I guess I'll, I'll go commando under my plate armor. And you hear the guy start to take his armor off.

I shall layly my stuff. You, okay, you shall layly your stuff. Or, no, I, I shall lay need new Betsy. Right so yeah Edmund Laurel kind of has his head peeking in you you guys hear the guy taking his pants off and hear the other guy go wait why do I need to take my pants off why do you need more than one pair of

pants? In case I have another accident in case there are a lot of bugs in here and I need another one just in case yeah we added that himself. We need a backup pair. Ugh. Fine. You're good, Deadman. You hear them giggling a little bit.

Oh, we should rush them out. They're taking off their pants. They're taking their pants off. Do you want to rush in, or do you want to like, We want to rush in. Well, we get advantage, like, surprise. Yeah, it's a pantser, yeah. You guys are pants down.

These guys aren't full chosen nights. These guys are just garged, so they only have like 15 feet. Okay, then as I'm going after them, I'm straight up gonna say, I'm only knocking you out. I'm not here to kill you. These guys are pants, let's just go. What?

Who? Who are you? I'm attacking. Yep, cool. Yeah, guys, do it. So don't forget your D4. Wow, not one though. Ah, nine plus the four though.

Jesus Christ. 11 11. You do not hit. Of course. 18. 25. You guys hit. All right. Cool. Cool. And I'm going to O'Cobb tries to bottom with the gun. And he's going to hit. I got fucking one. So I'm hitting it for three. Okay. O'Cobb. O O'Cob and you double team one at the knock him out. You, you bat him with the shaleigh.

The great team is back. You bat him with the shaleigh, he comically goes, what? Like turns around and O'Cob butts him, Bev, do your attack. I got a 15, 15. Can I say I'm shield budding though? Yeah, you want to smack them with your shield and knock them out instead of long sword damage?

Cool, 15. Easily knocks them out. Cool. So you guys knock these two guards out. Okay. Great, let's drag them into a cell and lock the door. Yep. So they don't tell anybody.

Okay, I'm going to leave a little, I'm going to leave a little note or have pop. I'm going to dictate a little message for pop out or write in the dirt. Right. and I just want to say sorry I'll see you in white nice folk but I needed your metal. Poppa was a good paralegal. Yeah yeah pop up right into beautiful script. As you look over poppa shoulder as he's riding he's also riding nonsense, but moonshine thinks he's early right now That's fine Ah Papa, he said just smart little one. Oh, yeah

Okay, well, and then it's either of them my size. Yes, they're both humans So you could fit into it and so I'm gonna put some I'm gonna put some Armour on and does it like shield my face at all. So yeah, they have like plate mail that you could put on it. So you're not proficient in plate mail. So if you get into a fight for you to do your spells and stuff, you won't be able to do it. But you just walking around, you're basically Luke Skywalker

and a stormtrooper outfit. You're a little short for a stormtrooper. But remember how that turned out? It turned out well. Yeah. What's my AC go up to if I'm wearing that? 18 actually nice But you have

Disadvantage on stealth rules got it is glads head We're hanging now. I guess I'll put it in my backpack Yeah, I think maybe had that let's have that via discrete thing. That's a good backup cool. All right well with you Knocked out two panceless men, you've got one man who has tinkled his trousers. That's what you're going bears. You did actually piss yourself. Well, the right.

It's color is honest, true. Once again, for good reason. OK, let's keep on going. You guys go up the stairs. You guys get to another door. And Edmund says this one is for the second level of criminals. There are more of them. They're probably about four, five guards in here.

Okay, you know the deal. Ah. Crags the door. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait I made a big stinky in my trousers. I'm a huge stinky little rat. I made a stinky in my trousers. I'm a stinky little rat. Anything else, what else do you want? What else, guys? I just asked for a kiss on the lips.

And one of you has to come give me a kiss on the lips. You're the hand of the king. Remind him. Remind him. I am the hand of the king. I will have you beheaded. You can just hear a bunch of people be like, what the fuck?

Just tell him to get over here. Tell him to get over here, but walk backwards. With their eyes closed. Get over here and walk backwards with your eyes closed. And you hear those guys kind of whisper and they start walking towards the door. Are they walking backwards with their eyes closed? They're not there.

They're suspicious now. We should be grabbing their swords. Alright, let's bust in. We gotta fuck them up. Yeah, cool. You guys bust in. Everybody roll initiative. So how does it affect my, so I already had, I had my shaleili in effect already. How long does it last for? One minute. No.

So y'all, I am not going to be, I'm not going to add much of this fight. So the occasion has four. I can still sport though, right? That's not spell cast. Yeah, you can still sports. Okay. I just love that this is like if we killed Darth Vader first and then had to escape. Yeah. And the entire movie is just that. Yeah, be like if Obi-Wan just won. Okay. If you strike me down, I'll only become more, but just kidding. A weapon, 12. 15. The guards actually go first. So you guys burst in. These guys have their swords ready. So we don't get to advantage or surprise. No, okay. No, they said he said walk backwards with your eyes closed. And these guys are super star

but they're not the dumbest. So they rush forward, swords out. Hard one is tied to Edmund Lorelle. Yeah. So they go, they're the end of the Kingsman kidnapped. Three of them go after Hard one and one of them is gonna disengage and run out the room. He only has a speed of 30, so he starts to like get up the stairs.

The other three guys, to cracks at you, first guy actually is gonna hit you hard one. Do you know that I have a 18 to hit now? Yes, he got a 19 hit. Ooh, that is seven damage. Okay. Second guy attacks, and he gets a 23 to hit. Oh my God.

For another three damage, they don't hit for much though. Third guy attacks and he gets a 18 to hit. Dammit. Sorry. My new A5 damage. Okay. That is you, Moonshine. All right.

Moonshine, you're wearing way too big armor just completely uncomfortable. Pop-Os in your overall bib just being like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Then I'm just gonna try and hit someone. Okay, just anybody where the guy who's running. I'm definitely gonna spores him. I don't know if I'd be able to catch up

with the guy who's running. Okay, so you to catch him would need to do a dash action. Okay, I'd like to chase him, but I can't try and hit him. You can't try and hit him because you would need to use a dash action. Okay, I'd like to chase him, but I can't try and hit him. You can't try and hit him because you would need to use a dash action to get there. But you have to force him in the eye. Cool, he's forcing him in the eye. Ha ha ha.

He doesn't like that. That is hard one's turn. Hard one, you're surrounded by three guys. You got one guy that's taken off. I'm gonna swing it. The guy nearest to me. Cool, go for it. 22. 22 it. 22.

22 hits. Great. It's for 12. 12 damage. You kill one guy and you do one damage to another guy. Oh, great. Sorry. I'm gonna try this.

These guys are wearing pretty good armor, but they're a little weak guard guys. Yeah, don't wanna kill you guys. Disengage, dis disengage stop fighting us Crit Jesus you might kill all three guys Go ahead and roll cool. That's 3d 12s plus my yeah cool Jesus 27 Yeah, you cut through all three of them you chop them all up That is bebs turn.

Okay, get the one guy running. I guess I'll get like a running start and chuck a javelin. Go do it up. Okay. Oh, that's a plus. That's 12. That does not hit.

All right, can I chuck another javelin when I say I can attack? Yes, I can. Yeah, yeah. I'm out there kind of like trying to stop him. I look like a kid in a, ooh. There we go. That's 19 plus seven, 19 hits.

All right, great. Let's do javelin damage. Javelin damage. Yeah. Ooh. That's 13. He's dead. Yep, wow.

See that, Devon? This dude is running up. You throw the javelin. It gets under the armor that's covering his back. And he falls down with a jab when he's back. A man just doing his job. They're wearing literal underarmor. I run back to you guys, and I look like a kid wearing

a snow suit. I'm like uncomfortable. Like a little too vague. All right, we got a couple extra suits of armor here. Okay. What's speaking to you of these suits of armor? You know what, I'll take the one with the giant javelin in the back. I think that's kind of neat.

Yeah. It's tasteful. Can I have that back? That's fun. The what? The javelin, yeah, absolutely. Thank you. I was kind of hoping to keep it in the back.

You know what? Yeah, I say, my back hurts. You're hilarious. Oh, okay. You know what, O'Cop, why don't you hold onto this? Maybe you could fire it out of your gun one day. He shoots it out of his gun. Not right now.

Just kidding. Oh, come. Oh, cop takes some time, gets in the armor. I would say the default of these guys are human, but I'm going to roll and see if one of them is a little guy and see if there's a halfling or anything. Oh. I'll say one to 10.

These are all humans. 10 to 15. There's a dwarf. And you could some like ill-fitting armor and 15 to 20 he's straight up a little halfling 12 there's a dwarf okay Nice. I do the trick I did with the the dwarquer where I put my backpack in front so look like a little fat dwarf So you're in the same situation as moonshine now. Normally you're proficient with armor, so you'd be fine, but you're wearing like ill-fitting right now.

Okay. So what is that? It just means that you could disadvantage on attack rolls. It just means that like right now, let's like try and play the game or try to, try to deceive you. Yeah, we're lying. Yeah, we're sneaking.

Oh yeah. Time to whip out that performance. Yeah, we're not sneaking. Right now we're just, we're just walking Oh, yeah time to whip out that performance. Yeah, we're not sneaking right now We're just we're just walking around like this is our job. Okay, so you guys are just just the most haphazard weird Young bed team of guards ever. Do you know anything about the royal guard? Like do they got like songs that they jog around singing like the ROTC guys? Absolutely. Yeah, I don't know what I've been Yeah. I don't know what I've been told. I don't know what I've been told.

My name is Beverly Togo. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Let's just go to the courtyard now and we've got bev we've got old bev with us We say that we're like preparing the execution. Yeah Right, all right. Well, we were supposed to bring him out a little bit later after the Performance of the green team glee team, but I suppose we could bring him out early This is really gonna this is top loading the event. Do you know what you got to say? Do you know what song they were planning on singing? Yes, they were going to sing the pledge to the boy. Oh Pledge to the boy. I pledge allegiance to the boy. He fills our heart with blazing joy All right, yeah, I know in all the words, but oh good. Oh, we're a little on dinner. That's gonna be amazing or

Dirlen on dinner. I don't know who early or Dirlirland already is. Let's get up top. All right. Yeah. I think we get to the courtyard. Okay. I'm walking. I'm making a look as natural as I can. Yeah. I'm trying to have a bit of a royal guard swagger. My dad's conscious, right?

Bev's dad is being carried by old Cobb. Before he had him kind of over his shoulder, now he's holding him like he's a prisoner, like kind of just dragging him along. Okay. Bev, your dad is now conscious. He's at 1 HP, but he's kind of like he's a prisoner like kind of just dragging him along. Okay, Bev your dad is now conscious He's at 1 HP, but he's kind of just muttering to himself. The swear to be can I Can I try and stabilize him with a bite from the Rubin sandwich I bought earlier? You you hold the Rubin in front of him and he

voraciously It's gonna be okay, Dad Horatiously it's gonna be okay dad. It's just where we, dad, it's me. We had Ruby Tuesdays right now, though. Actually we're at your execution. No, there we at yet. Yeah. Oh, good.

You're gonna have to cancel your reservation on the party boat in the sky. We're staying alive for another day, Pop. Sounds, he just goes back out. Okay, so are you guys? we're heading to the court yeah we are we still a reporting spores it will I think so that goes for now all right you guys are still reporting your sports so look everybody we're about to walk into the courtyard with Beverly's dad yeah what's let's all get our lives straight. Okay.

Yeah, I think that we are taking them out to the courtyard. I think we just say, well, we're moving the execution and as soon as we're out in the courtyard, we just maybe pretend to be big fans of the glee team. And then go talk to them and then peace or, what, I mean, what do I would try and save every single person in the courtyard? No, we just need to, we just need to get this event canceled or postponed.

Yeah. Do you think that perhaps the hand of the king could issue a PR statement that we are moving the event or rescheduling it for some reason? Maybe the king is saying. The king is saying that there is a god coming to Galatoron. So you know, kill the god or you, I mean you can't kill the god. I'm not trying to fight a god coming to Galatoron, so you know, kill the god, or you, I mean you can't kill the god. I'm not trying to fight a god today, but we just need to get all of these guests to not

attend the party. Yeah. They don't plan on killing everyone there. They're going to kill the knights. They don't give a shit about the commoners. So we just need to go over and whisper to some green knights and some green teens and then get out of there, right? I get it.

Wait, how, how the green nights getting up here, Tram? They're probably in the church district meeting right now. They'll just walk up. So the only people that we got to worry about in the courtyard is the glee team. No, we don't have to worry about them. They're not getting killed. It's the green nights that are going to get killed. Are you sure?

I'm going to kill those little glee teams. We got to save the glee team. I don't know what this damn crazy-esque goddess is going to do when she gets here I can only tell you what the plan was the plan was to get the damn other nights into the brunch kill everybody at brunch Come out everybody are just the nights the nights whoever doesn't bend the knee If you're little green teen glee team decides to get brave and not bend the knee to the god then yes, they will die if they don't then They're fucking out of the courtyard. We say that we're taking him to I don't know virtual bath Prior to the execution. We're gonna prepare for his execution. Yeah, we're gonna take him to get prepared for his execution

On our way we tell the glee team You know get the fuck out. Get the fuck out. And we sit down to the church district. We tell the green nights, don't attend the party. Uh-huh. And then we try to rest up and prepare to talk to the all at some point. I don't know that there's sense to be made with a crazy goddess. I think we need to make ourselves scarce. Yeah. Okay.

I think we tell the glee team to skidaddle. We tell the green nights To not go to the brunch and then we get on that airship and take a fucking nap. All right, let's do it. All right. All right. Well Should you untie me maybe? Hmm We get entie him, but I think if we do that then the the hatchet's gonna go right back on your ball, sir Yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna keep my axe really close to your nuts. We have to put eye on time. Okay, you want to tie him, axe precariously close to his junk. Yeah, but it sort of just looks like I'm holding it, but I'm holding it in a slightly dangerous way. Yeah, well shall we get going then?

Yeah, let's go. Your pants look pretty dry. Yeah, we're good. I tie a jacket around them Cool, so you guys continue up this spiral stone staircase and you get into the castle keep You can see an exit to the right Into the castle courtyard where commoners are beginning to show up You you hear a lot of commotion you hear a lot of people To your left is the hallway a lot of commotion, you hear a lot of people. To your left is the hallway that last time you guys took to get to the Great Hall,

which is also the King's Throne Room. Right. You guys see that there are many servants hustling around and a few chosen nights. Chosen nights at the back guys. Yeah. Just for everybody listening. Yeah, I like the thing that you

rapport sported that to us. Ah. Ah, ah, more times like, oh, shoot. Just for everybody listening. Yeah, I like the thing that you rapport sport that to us. Ha ha ha. More times like, oh, shoot. I invited a couple. Do we need to worry about these servants and these commoners? I think they'll be okay.

Do we need to just shout everyone leave? This is a, this is a staff chat event. I don't think so. I think we got to make them seem like, make it seem like everything is copacetic. We just need to tell the green teens to get out and we need to go down to the church district until the green nights to not come out and get killed.

So you guys, I'm saying that you guys right now are just like peeking out of the crack. You guys haven't come out yet, but there's a lot of people around. I'd like to look for the most honest looking servant and grab them in. Grab them by the end of people around. I'd like to look for the most honest looking servant and grab them in. Grab them by the door. So you see a very nervous little halfling

carrying a platter of food, like way too much stuff. Nice, are there sliders down there? Yes, there are. I'd like to like grab, I'm scooping them. See, that's what you're. So you scoop this halfling that's carrying this plate of sliders and you pull him behind the door And he goes, oh god, oh god, what did I do? Oh, oh, the mister hand of the king. I

That's not that that that this was the type of sliders that you wanted. Oh, man. Is this grayer? create Oh, no, we said I thought we said monster cheese. Is it monster? I swear I put monster on it. It's monster Okay, hey I lived up my little thing and show my little, uh, quick features to him. Hapes.

Okay. Hi, I'm not the royal guard. Play it cool. I'm trying to save your life right now. Okay. There is going to be an attack on this brunch so you should tell all your little servant friends to just find an excuse to excuse themselves and abandon ship.

This is my first day of work. Well, it's gonna be your last day of life if you don't skip town. Are you guys attacking the castle? No, we are not. We are getting out of here just as you should. Worst comes to worst if a god shows up, bend the knee. Don't try to be a hero. What's your name, pal?

My name is Bevel. Bevel? Yeah. Don't try to be a hero. What's your name, pal? My name is Bevel. Bevel? Yeah. Execution brunch is totally fucking cancel. Just tell your friends to go home. Don't tell everyone. Don't tell the chosen. Do not communicate any of this to the chosen. My manager is a dick. Do I have to tell him? No, he can leave him. Okay, great. Yeah.

I'm just going to kind of get really good at this job. I'm not a joke. I'm going to be a tell of you. My friends, that's cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I'm going to say? You can use your judgment if you hate someone. Just leave them to the day. I give, I eat a couple of of clearly look at you. I'm not a joke, but be still a few of my friends. That's cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I'm gonna say? You can use your judgment if you hate someone. Just leave them to the day. I eat a couple of sliders and tip them. Oh, wait. You should probably talk all the fifth.

Yeah. Shh. Okay. Big time, Josh, on that though. Yeah. Big Josh. Big Josh. Huge Josh.

We just saved your life. Okay. So. I appreciate it. Remember that if anyone tries to make you squeal You got it gang. Okay, you guys see him Go in Pellars light you guys see him shaking the plate of Sliders is all clanging he walks out of the dungeon into the hallway and he just drops the whole thing and then just takes off running And you see a bunch of guards like kind of give him a second look and one of the servants goes hey hey get back your bevel bevel

son of a bitch I'm worried he starts cleaning up the any of his friends he's got any of the other servants you told him he was just judgment run deep runs deep in this town all right right. Just go later on. Okay. All right. We did our best. Okay. Let's go to the courtyard. We got to get to the the glee team. Okay.

So you guys you guys start walking in four guards and generally pretty strange fitting armor, except for maybe hard one. Along with the hand of the king carrying Beverly to go the fourth. and you see a few Chosen paladins walk up to you guys. I put my axe right onto this onto the Deadman's Taint And I say unless you want an ass crack that's three times as deep as the one you have right now Sell this right now. Yes, sir. Sell it. Okay. Sell it the Knights approach and he goes

What are you doing? Keep preparing the brunch. We need to, this little halfling needs to be fresh and clean. So fresh and so clean for his, for his, I'm taking him to my personal quarters to bathe him. I'm going to bathe the prisoner in my Private I'm itching his ground. Oh, yes. Yep. Yep. I need to go the The showers down there are broken we we can't we can't shower him there So I'm bringing him to my private quarters otherwise the king will be very mad and glad Rosal will be

Extremely upset and you see these guys go okay yes sir yes sir and they and they back off sweet so as we go to are we we're heading towards so I'm dead men's chambers yeah no no no no no no no no no yeah not really yeah we're heading towards the direction that they are where's the glee team in relation to us now the courtyard we want to go to the court yeah right so the the glee team is in the courtyard. You just told these guys that you were going to Edmund's quarters. Okay, we'll just go to his chambers then. Yeah, just like walk a bit and double back. Yeah, that's a good idea. Or we could walk to his chambers and crawl out the window

or something like that. I like draw attention. Okay. I do have a balcony. Okay, okay. Okay, good and okay. Great. Great. Very good. No, this is great. So you guys go down the hall towards this throne room. You guys have been here before. It's this is great. So you guys go down the hall towards this throne room. You guys have been here before. It's this giant hall with big stone pillars. There's torches that line the walls along with flags and tapestries of the Asagar family. Their symbol is a golden lion on a purple background.

There's also a throne that sits on a little stage before a glass wall that looks out onto the sky. There's a staircase that will take you up to the second floor as well. You see that there's kind of a balcony that goes around the entire room that you could look down and you do see a bunch of chosen walking around up there, presumably getting ready for the red brunch. And you see servants are setting up food and drinks at these various huge tables.

We just need to get out of here and now it's got deeper. Can we just like wait for the chosen that we were talking to to leave and then double back around? Yeah, you guys can do that. Okay. So you guys start to walk in, you guys lose the two chosen

that stopped you guys in the hallway, but then you get to this throne room and some more chosen approach. Acts of the tank. Yeah, sell it. Sell it, dance for us. What do you want? As their approaching, he goes,

what do you want me to say? This is the way to my quarters. What the hell else am I doing with them? Say that you're going to change your pants. Hey, you're bringing him to the courtyard. I order him to leave you out alone, man. Yeah, you're the fucking hand of the king. Fine.

So these guys come up. I'm gonna have them roll a check to see if they notice that you guys are a little weird. And they legit rolled a nat one. So everything looks to be an order here. Ship shape. I am. These guys, the last head is hanging out of my bomber. I pull out.

Heaps pop it his head out. Oh, pop out. I pull out a bar of soap and say, let's get you clean for the execution. As we head towards the chambers, they're older than that one, Murf. Yeah. Yeah. The chosen show up, they don't notice anything,

Sad of Order. Sir, I thought the accused wasn't supposed to come out, and I'll tell you when the accused is supposed to come out, okay, the king demanded that first thing were opening with the execution and The chosen go my lord does Does she know about this? Of course she knows about it. She what's it all that get out of here?

Get out and these guys back off you guys. So are you guys double it back? You go back around double double double double Go on my courier. You guys double back around. You guys march with purpose. You pass other servants and other guards walking in and out. I wish I could tell a couple more servants, but they're all just they're all gonna bend the knee to the olive. Yeah, that's true.

Their lives are spared. It's gonna be fine. So you guys bend the knee one day, you just stand right back up the next. Yeah, they're bent. They right now they bent the knee to the boy just stand right back up the next one. Yeah, they're right now, they've bent the knee to the boy king. They'll go a fuck. Yeah.

So you guys are in this castle courtyard. You see these purple weather spheres, line, little walkways, like street lights in a park. Because of the weather spheres, it feels like a beautiful spring day, despite the altitude. And you guys do see this stage set in the middle of the courtyard and a throne set up for the king.

The king is not out there yet. There's also chairs, presumably for the queen mother and the high septin. And you see that not a full crowd has shown up yet, but commoners are beginning to file into the audience and you see a bunch of chosen nights are keeping an eye on them from behind a barricade. And you also see the green teens.

The green teen glee team is warming up. Alright. Alright, we've got to make our way to that glee team. So you guys travel into the castle courtyard. You move past the barricade, Olkov is kind of trying to obscure Beverly Togel IV, so the crowd can't see him. You see some of the chosen guys are giving you second looks, but Edmund Lorella is kind of trying to obscure Beverly Toggle IV so the crowd can't see him. You see some of the chosen guys are giving you second looks, but Edmund Lorelle is kind of waving them off as you guys make your way over to the green team, glee team.

I mean, Mojang's no stranger to a second look. Have you seen her? And yeah, you see they're rehearsing. We pledge allegiance to the boy. He fills our hearts with blazing joy. Amen. He is so sweet. He is our king.

He is the ruler of everything. Do you see there's a scout master? That's this older half-ling dude. That's kind of commanding the green teens. Damn, Dirlin is a rich tenor Yeah, and you see do see Durland and crann and you see a deep alto. You see the scout master his name is turnip Scout master this is scout master sills turnip great sills turnip turns and he... And he sees you guys are carrying Beverly Toggle IV through the crowd.

Oh yeah. We go up to him and we say, Can I help you, sir? It was the last request of Sir Toggle to hear the choir one last time. Uh, I'm not even gonna have to roll a deception check because this guy doesn't care if these kids sing Yeah, all right gang. Let's make it count. This is

You guys remember Mr. Toll Gold and the kids just are crying Come on gang we got a we got a really bring it was his last request and you just hear Bev's dad go Let's wear the pee if to you, listen to one damn thing. He's saying, I already have, he's just muttering to himself and the kids are all crying, oh we flash out, we just do the part. As they sing, I sidle up to them and to the same tone, I say, the all is coming to kill you all.

Pass it on the green teen silence song. Remember to leave at my signal. And you won't be killed like pigs now. The birds are very bad, yeah. The green teens look terrified they cry harder He is the ruler of everything I mean yeah, I report sports. I think they got it, but should we do you think we're okay? She'll double up. Yeah, I think let's get the fuck out here. I think now let's just I think let's get the fuck out of here. I think now we just casually walk towards the exit and if someone decides then I shed my

shit and we just start running. Cool. I left my fingers in the green teen salute which is the, yeah, it's like a leaf that you make with your hands. Oh, you flash that to like, Dirlin and Cranon stuff? Yeah. Okay, I was going to say, Dirlin and Cran and stuff. Yeah. Okay, I was gonna say that song just sounded like you were bullying them.

But when you flash that, you see Dirlin looks like real fucking scared. I sneeze, my head moving, opens up my thing for a second, and I wink just as it opens. It's a really good maneuver. Shit, okay, so you reveal yourself. I chewed a lot, wink. You reveal yourself to Durilin and crann and

They kind of go wide-eyed They're crying everyone's crying sure. This is the saddest little choir Yeah, so what do you what do you guys do now? We got it? We're just walking towards casually towards the exit Someone starts chasing us we'll try to have sick dead man get us out of here yeah dead man get us out of here I need miss Edmond yeah you'll earn that name back when you get us out of here see you see you guys do see guards like some of the barricade guards are starting to walk towards you guys like a lot of them now hmm you guys don't want to die. I would suggest maybe you run or something

because I've brought a prisoner out into the crowd. If I bring him down towards the walkway to the church district, either run or don't or. OK, let's run. OK, I've got three first-level spells left. What you got. And I cast, do y'all think that you could carry someone? You got to shed your armor.

I know. OK. I'm asking if I do y'all think that you could carry someone? You gotta like shed your armor. I know. I'm asking if I do y'all think that you could carry someone? I can carry. I can carry. Can anyone carry me? I can carry you. Okay, then I'm gonna take, I'm about to take my clothes off and then give you to an old cab,

increase your speed by 10 feet for the next hour. Okay, cool. So you in front of these people. What we get as close as we can until, like, it feels like a turning point where we can go no further. Okay, so you guys are like shop lifters

at the mall with mall security behind you. So these guys are kinda hustling, they think something's up, but they see Edmund Larell with you. So these guys are kind of hustling. They think something's up. They see Edmund Larell with you. So at first, they kind of let you guys go. They were afraid to speak up. And they've got their jobs. They kind of got to keep the credit.

Before I do that, though, I'm going to make, let's have Edmund shout about something and point behind us. Nice. So you guys see, as you guys start walking, you guys are kind of hustling. Mochette is kind of shedding her armor armor and Edmund Larell just yells The boy Kegas has soiled his trousers good man And you see these nights start fucking charging towards you guys

I cast I cast long strider on these two and old crap Okay, so we're running for the, I toss Moonshine over my shoulder. Yeah. You've also got, or what, who's carrying my dad? O'Cob's that, yeah. You've got the dad.

So these guys are all shouting, they all start running towards you. As Moonshine casts Long Strider, makes you guys super fast. Hard one, you've got Moonshine over your shoulder. O'Cob is like clanging in this armor, running fast as hell, has Bev's dad over your shoulder. Ol' Cobb is like clanging in this armor, running fast as hell has Bev's dad over his shoulder. Bev is running.

You see Cran, run up and punch, Scoutmaster turn up in the nuts, and then all the green teams start running after you guys. Kalloo Kallee! Kalloo Kallee! Kallee Kallee! We didn't wanna sing at this, we had to. Yeah, we're just children. They're all crying and running and these guards are chasing after you guys. You guys run down through the main gate.

There's this stone staircase that winds around a level of the mountain and takes you guys down to the cathedral. You guys run with these chosen hot on your heels. And as you guys round the corner, you see all of these green nights walking in single file up the staircase. Bev, shout to your people. All right, yeah.

Fellow green nights, they're coming for us. We gotta book it. I say the chosen are evil and they wanted to butcher y'all. Y'all have to turn around. Uncle Duck, Uncle Duck. It's a run, he's set up. If you see your Uncle Duck is in the front and he's kind of looking around frantically

and he says to you, oh, Beverly, I trust you, but this is very serious. You've broken your father out of jail. What happened? And he cast his own of truth on you. Ugh. I feel like I'm used to this. My dad is probably cast his zone of truth on me before

to chew me out for various things. So I find out if you're grounded or not. Exactly. I willingly submit to the zone. Ha ha ha. Uncle Duck, it's the chosen. They're betraying the kingdom. They're here with the olive, they're killing everyone.

They're not loyal to their cause. So Uncle Duck just kind of frantically nods to you. He believes you, they've kind of had these suspicions as these other chosen guys start to round the corner and close in. The other green nights kind of step up to join you guys to kind of defend you. And they're all kind of hands on their swords,

on their sword hiltz. And your Uncle Duck looks at you. And he goes, thank you for saving our captain. And all of the Green Knights draw their swords. Yeah! The chosen are rotting this city from the inside. They're a bunch of knuckleheads. They're a bunch of dang knuckleheads.

And you hear Bev's dad butter, bunch of dang knuckleheads. The Green Knights all grab their swords and brace themselves as the green teens stand behind you guys and a bunch of the chosen round the corner and like two rival gangs, you guys stare each other down. Okay. And that's where we'll end our session.

Oh! Oh! Fuck them up, old duck. Fuck them up. I thought we were running away, which is why I used my last three spells. Well, there's still a chance to run away. Always a chance to run away. We have it for an hour. Did not expect this to happen. I will save this for the short rest, but I can't this the encounter with galat. Save it for the short rest. I don't talk about encounter with galette save it for the sure for the sure

I don't talk about anything Oh short rest Polora and ballora Jesus guys. I can't believe you killed galette I thought I had a fail safe to save my NPC by having him be bounced to your mother But you just let your mother disappear. I hate galette. No, that was what went to save it for the show For the show. Save it for the show, guys. If you want to listen to the after show,

head on over to patreon.com slash NADDPOD. Do not sing yet. Oh, do not sing yet. We aren't. We aren't, we aren't. We aren't, we aren't. We aren't yet. Guys, please buy Me and Emily's book.

It's on Amazon. It's called Hey You Up, had to turn your booty call into your emergency contact. It's a satirical relationship advice Amazon. It's called, Hey You Up, How to Turn Your Booty Call into Your Emergency Contact. It's a satirical relationship advice book. It's also on Audible, if you wanna listen to the audio version. Is that your voice is reading it? It is, it's us, so cool.

I read it as moonshine. Yeah, it's in, it's just extra us talking into microphones if you guys like hearing that. Guys, tune in next week to hear what goes down, because this is not how I was expecting this to play out. Follow us on Twitter, at CHMRIF is me, at J.K.R.W.H.S. Jake, at Call the Is Called Well, Adiaxford is Emily, June 18th on Disney Channel,

watch Big City Greens. Oh, yes, dude, congrats. Yeah, for the last year and a half, I've been storyboarding on a television show, and episodes are gonna start here soon. So, that's so exciting. That's so exciting. Breaking Google big city greens

because the art looks coolest fuck. Yeah, and I'm sure it will be very funny. I did some of it. Guys, remember, Colville did some of it. Yeah, and if, Colville, if people wanna send a stuff, where they send it? You can send it to 1920,

Hillhurst Avenue, number 222, Los Phillies, California, 90027. Solid memory. Thank you. And if you want to tweet, tweet about the show at hashtag NADDPOD. We are, we are, the youth of the nation. Guys, it's the end of the show,

so we're going to shout out our benevolent council of elders. Jake is traveling, so it's just the three of us. But once again, let it be known that these heroes are far greater than hard one short foot. Emily, do you want to kick us off? Weeding tales of the council of elders, glory. I got some real respectable folk on my lap right now. So let's just kick it off with Parker E, who is a stump realtor down at the Cric, who actually hooked moonshine up

with a Cric side open floor plan stump. That's amazing. That's a very similar one. So a lot of Cric landscapers out there, taking advantage of booming market. Yeah. And then next, of course, we've got Daniel U. We've talked about this before, but he's got a real cool boat.

It's got one of those seats that you can lift up and put beers inside. But we didn't talk about this before. It's also sentient and has the face and voice of Gilbert Gottfried. Wow, that's a loud boat. Yeah, that's a loud boat. Yep. That's what he's doing. He's not the aflite duck anymore. He's now Daniel's boat.

He's not a sentient boat. Then we've got Kim Aichu is, of course, the bronze ripped, golden-bathonged barbarian. Bathonged? Bathonged. It means wearing a thong. Wearing a thong short. Have you never heard of a batonga thong?

I suppose I have. So he's kind of like the Arnold Schwarzenegger of Iron Deep. So he just kind of like pumps iron by the beaches of Iron Deep. Yeah. Can and now you got to write beaches and Iron Deep. Iron beach. Iron beach. Oh, whoa. It's like where the runoff of the metal goes.

And then of course we have got Manipi. Again, I'm going gonna just read this word for word because it's so funny. Mani the mundane, accidental deity who got in the way of a lichest spell to reach divinity. Mani doesn't do much and yet here Mani is. Mani is just there. If you if you appeal to Mani's sympathy and pity you can get it but then Mani is just there. And Mani might give you whatever change they've gotten their pocket or like a peppermint but it'll be a Kitty, you can get it, but then Manny's just there. And Manny might give you whatever change they've gotten their pocket or like a peppermint,

but it'll be a really good, really heavy. It'll be a divine, divine power to offer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've been the best peppermint you've ever had. Next is Haldor Frostback, member of the SS Stormborn who fought alongside Elias and Red in the Giant Wars. And little known fact was the person who installed the subwoofers into the SS stormborn.

Great range on those woofers by the way. Yeah, absolutely. It's a really thump. Yeah, a lot of other airship captains complained about how loud the SS stormborn is, but that's just because they don't know how to party. And then next we have Danielle the Dastardly, forger of both tools and trinkets, known for her not fucking around personality,

who actually had a flirtation with Tonithin at one point. Oh, what? Yeah. Tonithin is old. Tonithin's been around the block a couple of times. He's been getting that shit because he's so scoopable. Yeah, she made him blush. She made that scoopable little fiend blush.

And next we have a Harley S, orthodontist to the bully wags. Oh. Braces and business line retainers, lip bumpers, head gear. There's a lot of pressure when you're a bully wag to... We didn't see too many bully wagged tadpoles, but they do have screwed up teeth. Yeah. They're corrected by orthodontists.

Yeah, what you don't know is it's, they're not genetically gifted. They just have a great orthodontist. Griffin SD actually defected from the chosen and started a waychiller more peaceful sect called the brosen. Oh nice. Yeah. They do beach volleyball on the bottom level. Sort of like that guy from 10 things I hate about you. That's in that chill cult. Yeah, yeah, total talk. T. Alex, who is Lord of the Falcons, travels the air doing sick bird stunts.

Whoa, what's a bird stunt? He's going through hoops and such? Yeah. Loopedy loops, spin them up. Spin win, he's got any one of these very rolls. Oh, wing on wings. Oh yeah, spin win, there's only one east, very rolls. Wing on wings. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Cycle on plus. Is that nice? Next we have Thomas A, a drummer in Stunkbugs favorite jazz quartet. Oh, I can introduce Stunkbugs to Turtlenecks. He would not shut up about it. I know. And then finally Adam are the

most sought-after beard groomer and all of iron deep. It will cost you a pretty seed to get those deft little fingers to twirl ringlets into your moustache. Deft little fingers. Deft little fingers. They are a dwarf. They just have very tiny hands. Oh yeah, the softest hand, the adorth with the softest hands you've ever seen a dwarf have. Yeah, it seems improbable, and yet, and here they are, like Manipede. All right, I got some great people on this council, who I must shine a light upon with my exaltations. We got Air and Sea, an arcane kingpin who rules the new Esri underground with an iron fist. Fuck yeah, I-

It's goes 2.0. Yeah, their fist is actually made of iron though, they are part robots. Do they kya? They, they don't kya but they do. Huh! Yeah, more of a pun. Is better than a kya.

I would say so, it's more. I'm pretty to disagree, but. Infatic. We've also got Pedro E, a bar to the mountains who can clear storm or summon an early spring with a trusty woodblock. They also just did a collab with the gorillas,

so check that out. It's gonna be dropping on YouTube, yeah. Oh, she did for real. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's really fun. They're like animated into the video. I think I went to, I think I went to like one of those dance parties where you all wear headphones, where there's like no speaker

Silent ray, yeah, I was a silent ray and they played yeah, the woodblock is like very it's very prominent I it's really Props to Damon Albert for featuring the woodblock so heavily in the gorilla's album We've also got Spencer T. Spencer Caskbrew ale maker to gods and heroes of Bohumia alike Spencer Caskbrew, ale maker to gods and heroes of Bohumia alike. Patreon Elder of libations. They once made a limerita so good, it made Pellar weep with joy. Oh my goodness. I am desperate to try some Spencer Caskbrew ails.

Oh yeah, they were preferably a citer. Oh, I can imagine they would do a great citer. Yeah, also I believe served hard one his first two beers. Oh, we got Scott D the reigning trivia champ at the Blue Man of Barn Grill. They've beaten Stunkbugs trivia team hard one homies 12 times in a row. Oh, oh shit to beat Stunkbugs. Stunkbugs is really, yeah, you know a lot of books. But not stuck in the sports. No, no, no, yeah. You know there's a lot of books,

but not stuck in the sports. No, no, no, yeah, the sports section. Falls down on the sports, falls down on films. You gotta balance your party, Stumpbuck. Exactly, just him and Wons, that's it. Well, and Wons too drunk to matter. We got Dan F. Jr., a powerful fashion wizard who once invented a forbidden clothing item known as chinos Yeah, wow

Chino's like short jeans kind of yeah, they're just like they're just like between shorts and jeans They're halfway between like khakis and jeans. Yeah, I thought chinos were like nice cat. Oh, you're right They're sensible as hell You know what? I've got a lot to learn You know about chino lore. Let dead Let Dan have Junior take you on a magical journey. I'm thinking of Capri's. Oh, you are. They also invented those. All right, good. We've got, ooh, Tom P. Father of the Realm, serenader of sleeping babies. He wants put the entire dwarf higher dwarf image to sleep. After an incident known only as the putting riots. Ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha. I don't know how hard it went. The dwarf image just started to sound cute. Yeah. I think it's like a muppet baby situation. I love Tom P coming in though, just with them gentle taps. Oh yeah. gentle back taps.

You definitely, he's kind of the fixer for all babies in Buhumiya. The Buhumiya of the fixer. Yeah, all babies in the who me in baby fixer We've also got Danny P painted hard one senior portrait at the dwarf image. It was a stick figure hard one still carries it with him to this very day That is true. I see out moonshine sees him looking at it when we're by the fire thinking about when he was young How much I've changed. We've got Simon W. The bootleg of Hard One, Soft Loss. They hail from the shallow copper canyon, and their quads are a softened pale as yet for the yogurt. Ah, ah, ah, ah, yogurt cast.

Oh, Soft Loss. We have Jordan DJ, the driver's ed professor who gave Tonethin his steam buggy license. They own a gorgeous turn of the century bubble car. Oh my goodness. Yeah. Also, Todd Tonethin proper safety measures when being scooped, which is just given to the scooping.

Yeah. They saw how scoopable Jonathan was. Togetonathon aside, after class said, hey. If you're getting scooped while you're driving, you're gonna crash if you're trying to, if you're trying not to get scooped. Lean into the scoop, it's what they always say. Yeah.

Andrew M has a magic cauldron that is enchanted with infinite jumbolyas bells. Ah. That's right. My Johnny's a that is enchanted with infinite jumbolyas bells. That's right. Moon Johnny is a good ram. I think they also probably, it's like deep in their castle. They're protecting it with their life. The channel goes deep for jumbolyas.

Yeah, can that be our new quest? Forget this guy later on Bullshit. Alaina C has collected more badges than any green teen in history including the incredibly rare patch collecting patch patch Wow, there's only one of those exactly Everybody's gonna steal that if he meets her. They only made one. Oh, he'll be he'll be mighty tempted. Let's see Oh, Dylan B the 12 armed swordsman He looks like Davy Jones from parts of the Caribbean But with even more tentacles also each sword is different and one of them is dipped in poison sword roulette, baby

Oh, I love it. I know which one you're gonna get stopped by Hopefully not the poison one and last but not least we got Hermes W. That's a really nice dog named Frida It's a border collie mix Wow, yeah super friendly it can also tell the future. Oh, yeah That's a really nice dog, Dame Frida. It's a border collie mix. Wow. Yeah, super friendly. It can also tell the future. Oh, yeah. Okay, kind of bury the lead there.

Yeah, well. Well, does that border collie? Does it open its third eye? Absolutely. Okay, good. I just, I needed to picture that. All right, on to my elders, Jeffrey S. One of Poloer's legendary giant parrots

who protects the big carnival cruise line in the sky. Big colorful, giant legendary birds that fly around the cruise ship. I did do a lot of things to see a legendary wing. Cacacaw. Jim Jam Flim Flam, the one man band, a famous bard with a song in his heart sold out the Crick stumpatorium three nights in a row A lot of Crick Because the Crick Crick vocal just squish in one seat seats three Xavier C was from the preppy school in Iron Deep that frequently defeated the Dwarf and Edge and Dwarf sports

So sort of ruthless, a ruthless character, dwarf sports. Matthew Millions, the bullywug prince, the dental care of a swamp bullywug, but the hospitality of a Crick bullywug. Oh, stop, you're describing my perfect man. Perfect wug. We're woman. Cutterw. This is the one that's kind of similar to one of Emily's. Cutter W. hosts the most popular Stump renovation show on hit.

Crick TV. That's the Crick's version of HGTV. Oh, that's good show. What's the show called? Hmm, flip that stump. Yes. I think it's stump dumpers. Stump dumpers. Yeah, stump dumpers. No, no, no, I think it's stump dumpers. Stump dumpers.

Yeah. Stump dumpers. No, no, no, no, here's what it is. Stump dumpers. Y'all got a stump. You want a dump? I've got eggs. May my stump all get nice.

Then I've got... I came to cut. I came to cut her with the dumpiest stump. And he dumped that thing. I got to wash her dry in my stump now. What? Ha ha ha. I got to wash your dry and must up now. Jo-N, long have the bards of Bahumia, a song of his love for his wife Lucy.

Lucy! Jo-N and Lucy are sort of the Romeo and Juliet of Bahumia. Only they're doing real good. Lucy and the sky with Jo-N. Yeah! They all also can fly Brad D aka Pebble pot the brave the only member of Scoutmaster Denny's family that isn't Craven so brave buff and cool That he almost single-handedly redeemed their family almost almost almost they still got a way to go

But you know they're doing their best. Then we've got Will L, aka Steelbreaker, whose armor is forged from the blades of his failed opponents who can impregnate with a wink and a spotted hard one at the gym. Steelbreaker is so suave, he gets advantage on wink checks. If you can do that, does that mean you have to wear sunglasses as a prophyllactic? Yes. I believe Steelbreaker is legally required. That should make some you have to wear sunglasses as a pro-phylactic? Yes. I believe steel brick is legally required. That should make some look cooler to wear sunglasses.

I love to see those sunglasses. And we've got Andrew A. A. K. A. Feldspar, Ligarden. The half-elf who beat Mishka at arm wrestling and Todd Olkob had a shoot at the same time. What? That just seems complicated. I added that part. That seems like a lot of actions. Is that a bonus action?

Taylor B, a legendary bard to whom no item is in an instrument. Bangin' on a trash can, strummin' on a street light, Doug style. Y'all remember Nickelodeon? I do. Then we've got John S, who we know here as Schubert, the friendly myocnid mushroom person. Oh. Thank you Schubert, you truly saved our heroes today, specifically. Yeah, for real Schubert, you came through. Then we got James B, aka Jimmy B, a rogue and a swashbuckler with a heart of gold.

Only thing James B is stealing is our hearts. I mean, nothing's in my chest, someone swiped it. And last, but certainly not least, Henry A. Our straight up real life friend, a legendary friend who is objectively more supportive than everyone else in our lives. You need our parents, who needs our siblings. We have Henry A.

That's right. Thank you, Henry. Thank you, Henry. We are shallow. And thank you to all of our NAD pod supporters and our benevolent council of elders. We'll catch up with you guys on the short rest right now and then we'll see you guys next week on the show.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Bye bye. Bye bitch. Thank you. That was a hate gun podcast. you