Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 20: Fallen Heroes (The Galaderon Saga)

Episode Date: June 21, 2018

The party is still split! Moonshine and Beverly catch up with Bev's fam and Erlin's sassy grandmother, while Hardwon and Ol' Cobb assemble a rescue crew. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content! Music/Sound Effects include:"Grenade" by Ljudmann at Freesound.org. "Glasshouse" by Themfish at Freesound.org."CINEMATICBOOMNORM" by HerbertBoland at Freesound.org."The Blows of a Friend, and Not a Foe" by Emily Axford."Apotheosis" by Emily Axford."Forsaken" by Emily Axford."A Haven Away From Home" by Emily Axford."At the Last Minute, a First" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a Headgun Podcast. Hey everybody, it's Emily here to talk to you about Adam and Eve. Who wants better sex? And who wants to start having better sex immediately? The best way to level up your sex game is to go to Adamaneeve.com right now. Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item, plus free shipping, which includes rush shipping. More than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy.

They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority, plus 100% free shipping with rush processing on your entire order. Doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy, all will be packaged and sent discreetly. So don't wait, better sex is just a click away. That's 50% off one item, free shipping with rush processing. Bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your bedroom. Just go to Adamineve.com and select any one item. It could be an adventurous new toy or anything you desire. Just enter offer

code PAPA at checkout. That's www.pawataminive.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to the podcast, so be sure to use the code PAPA to get your discount 100% free shipping and get it fast with brush processing. Code P-A-W-P-A-W. Goodbye, Sweeties. Welcome to the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Bahumia, everyone. Oh, me, oh, me, oh, me, oh, me.

I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Herwetz, hard-want-shure-foot. Oh, yeah. I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy joined by Jake Herwitz. Hard one, sure, foot. Emily Axford. Moon Shansabin, Spellpore, HealthPore, but Rich and Cantrits. They're so weak, they can't even be called spells. And Caldwell, Tanner.

Beverly Toggle, the fifth. Beverly and Foreverland. Perfect. Guys, we got some announcements here. First off, very exciting. We've got our first live show. Oh Shit. Yeah, we're coming to Seattle guys Thursday September 13th at the triple door in Seattle You guys can go to headgum.com slash live that's Washington everybody Seattle watching Seattle Tucson There is like a Portland main and stuff, so it's worth mentioning.

Yeah, don't listen. In case there's another Seattle, I don't think there is. There's only one, and that's where we're going. We're performing in this space, Needle, baby. Take us go on sale this Friday morning at 10 a.m. Yeah, so if you're listening to this on Thursday, like the true family world. Yeah, the day that it came out, the tickets are on sale tomorrow. And they're going to shell out quick, baby.

I know it. Because my cousin and my aunt live in Seattle. You better believe them. That's too thick. Is that your awesome cousin since Seattle? No, let's make it a family affair. It's gonna be, we'll get to the early ticket later. We're gonna do this.

Seattle's a new creek. There's a lot of cousins. Who's my nephew cousin? Seattle. Oh, I know a lot of people in Seattle. We're gonna do this Seattle's the new creek Guys more fun stuff coming up this Sunday June 24th at 6 p.m. Pacific time We're gonna do another live stream for our patreon subscribers. It's the apology Breakfast live stream Yum yum yum and then the following day Monday the, we'll be releasing our mixed bag of holding, which is gonna be a deity deep dive. We're gonna learn more about the gods of Bohumia.

Going deep, on some deep. So those are for our Patreon subscribers, guys. Go to patreon.com slash nad pod to check that out. But let's get into the episode. Wait, one final thing, the album will come out next week on SoundCloud, and then however long it will take to upload this Spotify. There's going to be a pop punk strike true on this album.

Oh yeah. There is. God. Anyway, let's get into our episode. This will recap. Shall we? Please. Last week, you guys stood with the Green Knights in a tense stare down with the Chosen on

the Castle Steps. Barrett Brisden, the new captain of the chosen, offered you one last chance to join them, and when you refused, he sent on a message to his troops to begin the purge. Immediately, you saw airships heading towards upper Galatoron and knew that the citizens of the city were in danger.

You all retreated to the church district, where Bev's dad and the green nights could set up their defenses and make a stand against the chosen. Meanwhile, you guys in the white nights ran down upper glater on to stop the chosen who were being dropped off by the airships. And everything went smoothly from there. That's right. Oh yeah, then we all got up to full health. I got my spills back finally. The first time in five hours. Yep, everything worked out. Psych, just kidding. Hard one and old Cobb jumped directly into the first enemy airship they saw. Paul, I worked out. Psych, just kidding. Hard one and Ol' Cobb jumped directly into the first enemy airship they saw.

Paul Beavs, I'm sorry. No, I thought it was cool. It was cool and stupid as hell. It was vintage, vintage hard one. I love it. Watch this. I love all your big moves. So hard one and Ol' Cobb jumped directly

into the first enemy airship they saw while Beav and moonshine ran to Beavs house to save his mom after saving Bev's neighbor moonshine and Bev made it to Bev's house as a bunch of chosen were trying to break down the door and climb in the window with the help of a Gwain. Irland's cool older sister you guys defeated the chosen and saved Bev's family for now. So cool. Bevin Irland then had their first kiss. Bev' Irlin' then had their first kiss! Woo! Bevin' Irlin' y'all! Bevin' Irlin' for every year! We ship them, and you guys settled into the Toe Gold Residence to catch your breath. Meanwhile, hard one ran directly past five archers and ten guards to attack the captain

who was wearing full-played armor. Knock it off! Ha-ha-ha-ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Matthew aka Matthias aka Mattie Kritz. Mattie Kritz. Mattie Big Kritz scored a critical hit against the captain was able to defeat him. Then out of character, Old Cobb had two deaths saving throws, so Jake rolled his last one for him in front of the table and rolled to dang Nat 20. What a rush.

Still really from that one. A much needed Nat 20. It was of all the Nat 20s that were rolled that episode, which there were many. There were like seven. I am terrified. Mostly mostly from Beverly. Beverly was doing the heavy lifted with the Nat 20s,

but that was the most thrilling one. It carried me through the weekend. I went out hard on Saturday and people were like, Jake, what's the occasion? I was like, oh, it comes alive! Caluca lay! Anyway, Jake's engagement is off. Of course. So we ended the episode with hard one waking up in a bunk below deck and saw Ol' Cobb sitting next to him still cake in. Oh yeah.

Anyway guys, before we get started I'm actually going to introduce a new homebrew mechanic. Yes. Maybe. Because between the amulet, the potions, and NPC intervention, I've basically allowed a ton of ways for you guys to get your HP back without resting to kind of keep the action up on the pod, but HP is way more important to the melee characters and I gave you guys the Cleveland mechanic. So I'm gonna introduce something for our spellcaster who's been a little spell star for about four episodes now. Are you trying to say that people don't want to just hear

me do chill touch for another entire episode? What did you spread? Did you spread? I believe you spread three first-level spells over four episodes, which is kind of crazy. So this new mechanic is called Zellis Trance. Whoa! Moonshine will...

Can I call it Sleeping with Malora? Yes, that is kind of what it is. Okay. So Moonshine will be able to regain spell slots during a short rest equal to 1d8 plus her wisdom modifier. So a first level spell costs one, a second level spell costs two, etc, etc. And this can only be used once a day. I think I just like sit cross-legged and like tweak one nipple and almost like I'm tuning. Oh my gosh. Spiritual receiver. Tune in my spiritual receiver, picturing Shay.

Just trying to find K-Rock. Which is good because it also distracts your enemies. Yeah, she just sits there for an hour during a battle in twists or nipples. Should I stab her or, or a cup dies again. She looks so peaceful. So anyway, guys, let's get started.

We're going to start with moonshine and Bev. So you guys are in the toe-gold household with Bev's mom, Nana Kineleaf, Irland, and Aguene. You guys are beat up and bloodied, Aguene, and Irland included. You can still hear the sounds of fighting in the distance, but sitting around this fireplace, it feels weirdly cozy but outside

Thunder hits and it begins to rain. Oh, no, not again It starts raining What is it again? That's good. That's good. It's raining because all the houses are on fire Oh, that is good and you can shape water, right? I shape all the water Just be like are you running out there right now? You're at one HP I grab, I grab. You're tough, moonshine's hands. Wait on my neck, I'm gonna do a card. No, no, no, no, no, no.

Are you really? I'm buckling her overalls back up. Buckles me to the banister. Just take a bit, just take a moment. I, yeah, well now that you're restrained to the banister, I try and have a little chat with you. moonshine, I know that we're beat up. There's not much we can do, but we got to try and get as many people to say these we can.

Yeah, I think so. I mean, if we can find hard one, I'm sure he's here somewhere close. Yeah, I'm sure he's fine. Within a stick's throw. Hey, re-re-re-re-re-re. Papa's just flipping out. Hold on, Papa's ringing. Yeah, Poppa.

There. I think he just wants to eat. I should have some jerky. His animal instincts are going off that hard one and all copper and treble. But as soon as you put food in his mouth, he just starts contented. Takes it in.

Let's take this to the pantry. We go to the pantry and get Poppa something to eat. OK. I may be at one hit point, but if there's just a private room, I'm learning a little something about privacy on this trip, but there's just a private room I could go and sit naked, cross-legged, and tweak my nipples. Oh! Mom, can she use the gift-repping room?

Honey, uh, you know, it's a grab-room. Honey, why don't you go in the bathroom, not Beverly's bathroom, just you can go into my bathroom, okay? Okay. And maybe just in the future, we could just say that we need to use the bathroom. Okay. I'm still learning about privacy.

We, yeah. I look at my mom and say, I'll put out the guest towels. Thank you very much, okay. Oh, honey, Beverly, I know your father was upset that you broke your little legs. Do you remember when you did that?

My sticks, yeah. You broke your walk in sticks. But he did have something he wanted to give you for graduating the green teens. And you know, I think he'd want you to have it now. And she goes back and she pulls out this little gift box with a big red ribbon in it. Oh, she hands it to you. I do a lot of box. Well, the presents inside. Is this mahog it to you. I do love a box. Well, the presents inside.

Is this mahogany? No, this is a cardboard box. Just open the box. Open the box. Open the box. I'm going to show you that thing that little kids do, where they lurk around because they're kind of jealous. That's a lot of that, isn't it?

What's that? Do you need help opening that? I am. I'm swinging noises. I take a knife and I carefully cut the tape so that the box can be reused. I undo the ribbon and I hand it back to my mom and say, you can put this in the gift wrap room, mom.

Oh, of course. She takes it and walks away. I open it up. You open it up. You see a wet stone, just like a sharpening stone, and it twinkles with green energy. Ooh, I love that color energy. That's the color of my energy.

Oh, I think I know what this is. This is like crystal, right? Heal and crystal. Got it again, shout out. You look at it. Natural History Museum. It is a sharpening stone. A sharpening stone.

Very clearly not crystal. I got one of those, yeah. Stop trying to put this in your mouth. Okay, I walk away and stop. Start tweaking your nipples. Oh boy. So is this I could sharpen my sword with it? Yes. Oh okay. Yeah, you see your mom your mom comes back from the what the gift wrap room? Were you saying? Yeah, a gift wrap room. Of course. Okay, she comes back from the gift wrap room and she says yeah, it's you put your sword through it and you can sharpen it.

Your father was practicing this whole speech. She was going to give you about how the night makes the sword. The sword doesn't make the night. He was getting very nervous about it. He was rehearsing too much. Eventually, he just said he was just going to ship it to you without saying a word. I'm bawling.

Why are you crying? Your father just said he respected you, and you'd find your own sword, and you'd make your own way. You didn't need to gift it to you. It's been a long day, mom. I'm making my wetstone wetter. I pocket it, and I hug my mom.

I say thank you. I'll use it, and I'll make sure that I always think of you, and dad when I do. Oh honey, I'm thinking about you all the time. So I hope you think about me more than just when you use your sword. Yeah, I'm so sorry. I keep opening doors and they keep me in linen closet. Okay.

I'll lead her to the second guest bathroom. Please do honey. I walk moving into the second guest bathroom. Please do, honey. I walk, move into the second guest bathroom. I lay down a lot of towels on the ground. I stay for a little too long while you begin your nipple tweaking ceremony. I will also say that I'm gonna let you guys take a little bit of an expedited short rest here.

I'm also gonna give hard one a little short rest because I fucked up, oh, last time, a way that screwed you guys up quite a bit, which is that some people pointed out to me that dead saving throws happen at the beginning of your turn, so you should be able to take a full turn. So you guys got way more messed up than you had to be getting popping up and getting knocked down. I should have like five more HP right now. I should be totally fine. So this will just be like a half hour short rest. You guys won't need to take like a full hour. Yeah, we're just catching our breath.

You guys are just catching your breath. All right, cool. But I get my spells lots. Yeah, so go ahead, you guys roll. And I get to roll hips. I get to roll all five of my hips. I don't use it for her. You can roll as many as you'd like.

Yeah, sick. So hard on money, you go roll yours as well. I got an eight. Oh my goodness. We're going to add my whistle modifier. Yeah. Wow. Thank you for laying down all those guest towels. No. No. Papa leaves. And he does curl up with a book near the fire. Oh, that's so cute. I curl up with it. But he's eating the book. I know, but I think he's reading it. And I think he's so smart. I'm so cute I crew up with it. But he's eating the book. I know, but I think he's reading it.

And I think he's so smart. I'm just petting him being like, you are so smart. Taring out pages eating them. Marleto goes like, oh God. Oh, okay. I think about him rolling him in college. He's already on the lawyer. Honey, he is eating a book.

I know, he is a ravenous reader. Okay, while we're kind of like communing, I want to talk to Nana Kindleaf. Sure. I just want to ask of her wisdom. I say, Nana Kindleaf, what do you think we should do? You're a respected elder in the community. Oh, you know, I've lived a long life. Oh, my God. It's very tired.

Today's been a very long day. I would love to just go back to my house and we can't go back to our house, Kremah. I look over at iguan. I say, I thought that would be more helpful than it was. Iguan, what do you think we should do? I think we need to get the hell out of here. Okay.

Yeah, I think we need to go on a mission, collect the neighbors, then find hard one, and then shoot off into the sky, battle start galactic and looking for a new home. It sounds good. We have a plan. Go ahead and give me a perception check. I want to do a perception check to see if Nanakine Leaf

has anywhere there's originals in her pockets. And then I'll do the other bullshit perception. I mean, just... I got a 16 to find out if Nanakine Leaf has... Where there's originals in her pockets. And then I'll do the other bullshit perception. I mean, it's okay. I got a 16 to find out if Nana Kineleaf has. Where there's originals? I got a 19. Okay, you guys look in Nana Kineleaf's bag

and there are so many, there are two full bags of where there's originals. I put them in my mouth that's spitted out. So sweet. I know, right? So good. Oh, nasty little children. A combination of the health.

A combination of the little children. And she smacks you both from that. A nasty little children. I want to go home. Yeah, I kind of leave. Can I have some some where there's please? A little little boy. Sure.

She smacks you again in the head. Oh, okay. Do a perception time for the real thing. If you guys are all poorly. I did roll worse. Oh my god. I got a 12. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

I called it a couple. I got a two. Oh god, damn it. I'm in. Okay. I'm in a bad attitude. So back in the shit, let's do it. You guys are back in the shit.

You know, we wouldn't be ourselves. We didn't do stuff like that. So you guys are kind of distracted at this point you guys have been out of battle for like half an hour 45 minutes now You guys are feeling a bit relaxed you guys have cured yourselves you guys are Pocket full spell you got a pocket full of spells. That's got one full of worthers Suddenly you see a little too late. The corner of an airship in the window. Go ahead and roll initiative. All right.

Ooh, okay, that's going to be 20. 16 for me. Hey, man. Okay. I just had my time when Malora. Moonshine, you run over to the window. You see this airship has pulled up parallel to the towgold residents and you see three cannons come out of the hole. Now I roll for everyone. I rolled two ones. Yeah. Yeah, bitch! Shitty cannons.

This is for your family to help themselves. Oh. Oops. Oh! Oh no. You know Nanakai Leap didn't roll high. Nanakai Leap gets a 25. Okay, so what the long happy life.

At this moment right here, what you guys have just rolled initiative for, these cannons are about to go off, running out of the house, taking cover, all of these things will be made harder, depending on how many people you grab. Moonshine is as your turn for. Okay, okay, so I guess we just need to escape. Yeah, it's good.

We have to do some tactical scoops. Yes, so what do you do? You gotta do tactical scoops. Scoop Nana. Scoop Nana, you got. I scoop, yeah. You got Nana in your arms. You arms I run out the front door you're gonna go deeper into the house oh no we're just going out the front door cool

grabbing someone and running outside opening the door with them and running out and kind of hitting the deck that's a DC 15 acrobatics or athletics check ha cha cha I got 18 18 hell yeah. You scoop, Nana. Run outside. Just dive and hit the deck. That is you, Beverly. I want to grab Erlin with one hand and my mom with the other and kind of like lead them along. OK, towards the exit. Great.

If you're grabbing both of them, that's going to be another five. So that's a DC. Are you going outside? Yes. OK, DC 20 athletics or acrobatics. Ooh, OK. I have four in athletics. So let's give it my all I rolled a one but

All my 20 juice I used it up last time Wow, this is for love, but wait maybe my 20 juice was actually just water the whole time. Hold on, this label's coming right off. I'm gonna roll. Okay. Ugh. That's a 14. That's a 14? 14?

Yeah. You grab your mom and Irlin and start to run through the door, but they're too heavy. You can't get out fast enough. You had to drop one of them. Oh God. Oh no. Fuck, I-

I- I grabbed my mom. Cool. You grabbed your mom. You rush out. Uh, Erlin was kind of like falling over. He was kind of caught flat-footed and tripped and fell down as you grabbed your mom. I win, I win, I'll get him.

I'm counting on Erlin, but as I grab my mom, I pass the amulet to Irland. Okay. Thanks, dude. I can, don't worry, dude. I'm not gonna get in the way. I can handle myself. And you hear it from behind, you hear it from behind.

Shut up, you idiot. I'll save you and a Gwayne runs up. She, luckily, is the only other person that acted before the cannons. Okay, cool. So, good thing everybody got to scoop somebody. So, you guys, she runs over, and you know what,

she is going to have to do an athletics check to try to get Erlin out. She gets a 17, so she's cool to scoop in one person. So, she runs over. She scoops Erlin, and you guys all run out. Oh my God, thank you, guys all went out and dive and jump on the ground as cannons shoot out and blow out the front of the toe gold residents. Yeah, it's just material possessions. There's a stump with your name on it down on the

tray. We just had that bathroom remodeled. Oh boy. So meanwhile, hard one. You don't know what time it is. You just know that you're in a bunk below the deck of an airship, but you don't know where you're going. You're sitting there with Ol' Cobb, who is pretty dang beaten up, but you guys both got your little short rest. You guys have been covered. You guys have been down here for like, Ol' Cobb tells you you guys have been down there

for like half an hour, 45 minutes. Oh, Cobb, I feel like I drank too much crick water last night. We also did that in addition to getting beat up. All right, where the fuck are we? Honestly, I don't know where the hell we are brother. We got taken down here by a... Oh, that guy. And you see, he points to Matthew A.K., Matthias A.K.A., Big Matty Crits.

He came with Matthias of House Crit. Matthias of House Crit. He's with the highest of house crit. The highest of house crit. He's this young, skinny human guy. He's young. He looks like he's maybe about like 17 years old. He's got like shaggy brown hair. He's leading an older gnome and a bunch of other citizens like down a ladder.

And he goes, come on, come on. Into the cargo hold, you'll be safer down there. And he's like leading people. You see he's all like bloodied up and super fucked up And he looks into the room and he sees you guys and he goes you guys are okay. I'm glad you're all right. Thanks to you, man Hey, you soften them up for me. Honestly, I'm kind of a weeny. It's amazing. I survived you are not a weeny It's complete luck of the draw Epic battle. I'm hard one sure foot faster than mountain

Who the heck are you my name's Matthew? Just Matthew. Maddie crits. How's it going? Please don't call me that's just Matthew the thius of house crit just Matthew meet my man old cup Yeah, you doing Maddie crits again Just man a pull the blasty cup Maddie crits. Let's have a drink brother. You're gonna love this quick water brother I you know I really shouldn't be drinking right now. I think it was our own poll. Thanks for a pretty time. We've got the whole ship is full of refugees.

We've been gathering people and we're gonna get, we're getting out of dodge. We're leaving up a go later on. All right, I gotta get up onto deck. I actually was born on one of these bad boys here. I know my way around. I trip a little bit. You're like a little seasick.

You just bomb it a little bit. You is, that's a creek water. You see Matthew goes, okay, cool. I'm gonna go get some more refugees to safety. One second, you got to the arcane. I'm sorry, what is arcane? Like magic? Let me up on the deck, Let's see where we're at.

Cool. So you guys walk up to the deck and you see that the deck is right with activity. There are dozens of very frightened citizens, families, many of them being led below deck by the white knights, their tabards are all stained with blood. You see Lieutenant Naaman barking out orders while another white knight drives the ship. There are still airship battles going on throughout the sky. And there's still some fighting and upper glater on, but this ship is kind of decidedly for the good guys. You guys did win the ship. You guys got back up eventually and they took it over.

And they're evacuating people. They're putting people down in the cargo load and stuff. They normally can't fit this many people on an airship. And hard one, give me a perception check. I will also have old cop do it because you're not very receptive 12 12 okay all you needed was a 10 this one isn't too difficult You're probably looking out there kind of Surveying the scene and up or go later on making sure everybody's okay you guys are kind of heading away from it But you guys are still pretty close you're about a hundred feet from like the walkway.

You see in the distance in the direction of Bebs home. You see an airship shooting into a house. Not Bebs house, but one that's far away. And it looks like that airship's job might be to like blow people's houses up. There? Hey, those guys are blowing up houses and my friends are over there. Looks like that airship's job might be to blow people's houses up. There. Hey, those guys are blowing up houses and my friends are over there. Are you saying this to like Lieutenant Named? Yeah.

Okay, so you like march up to the leader guy. Hey, Lieutenant, sir. That shit is... Thank you for showing respect. This is a stressful day. It's important that people remember their ranks and such. I don't want bends in the knee. Just kidding.

Have you tried thought about becoming a paladin? No, I'm good, but I appreciate the sentiment. Yeah. That airship is shooting a bunch of houses and my friends are over there, so I'm gonna need you to respectfully drop me off. Oh, well, I mean, we have an entire ship full of people here. They'd be in danger. We'd be in danger in all of them just first. That's your captain's house over there. Yeah, you see he does look out. He knows where Captain Togo lives.

He goes, and there's his family still there. They haven't been evacuated. Teenage boys in there. You see he really choose out another guy who is responsible for that area. You see he gives you a look like, why'd you sell me out, man? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Hard one, the gnar. Can we say that the white knight start calling him hard one, the gnar. He's telling me out, man. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha You can have some of my men and you can run there on foot. Great. OK, you see a bunch of his guys, a bunch of his little weeny guard guys join you. There are about 10 of them. You guys got like a little troop here. You guys got a little army. And they hand you guys like grappling hooks. They said we don't have time to stop. So we just have to throw into the side of the mountain

and swing over. Let's do it. I'm the man. Watch this. Go ahead and give me an athletics check. I'll do an athletics check for you to these guys. It's not that hard. Just serious failure will be bad. Oh, fuck yeah. You just got to beat like a five. Well, I got it 24. I just want to, I just want this to sound as epic as it actually is. You fucking succeed wildly. You guys all throw your grappling hooks into the side of the mountain.

You, Cobb and ten of these white knights, these white... We'll call them white weenies. As I'm just swinging, I just want to turn around point and wink at Maddy Critt. Maddy Critts goes, okay. And flip off the other night. You told on me, jerk. Ha ha ha ha. Hard one swings into action. Cobb is with you. These guard guys are with you, or you guys just taking off towards Bev's house? Yeah, that's my scout in there.

You guys start running towards Bev's house, hauling ass as the ship gets closer and closer to Bev's house until finally it pulls in front of it. You see the cannons come out from the hull. The cannonballs shoot out, as they shoot out though. You see moonshine die about holding an old woman that you've never seen before. I said, quit, Rigglin, you're worse than a Bollywong baby

straight out the vagina. Such bad, such fresh children, she smacks you in the head. moonshine in this old woman who is smacking her dive down you see Bev and his mom run out and hit the deck and you see the lady snake a guane who you saw from the sword runs out carrying Irland and they all hit the deck as Bev's house explodes and rocks come down and the whole thing just caves in on itself Everybody roll initiative you guys are now in this giant battle. Can I just keep my 20 firm before?

Now okay 10 13 12. What about my 10 minutes? I've got your 10 men Hardline you showed up with an army small army What all I need was cup. What do you call any are you guys talking get all hard ones on these shows up? The bunch of dudes yeah you guys are Hard one we're just coming to collect you. We need that stone. We're gonna call on What are you doing running up here such fresh children? Oh? Oh, this is Nana whistle trial and who's this queen? That's a queen that's her early nutter. She's being a teen dick. Yeah, she shops as well. How's it going Irland? Oh

Hey, dude, it's good to see you low five. He runs over and he hugs you He hugs the hand he hugs the hand that's your giant hand. Don't get jealous. I want to turn to To Mrs. Togo to did these motherfuckers just blow up your kitchen? Oh, please don't use coarse language, but yes, these MFers did. They blew up my whole kitchen. The sticky buns are gone. We call them mommy hunkers. Hey, friends, let's go.

Honestly, hard one, you know, the greater in decency is we met up with Mama Toggle, and she didn't even have time to make sticky buns. I am so sorry to hear that. Yeah, I thought you might. Everyone needs a little fire under their butt right before a battle. Yeah, I had like a model scale of the planets,

suspended from my roof. Pretty sure that's going to be. Oh, I caught Saturn. Oh. OK, so these archers go first. So I'm just going to say, these are my archers or archers on the ship. These are archers on the ship.

You do not have archers with you. Nice try though, right? I have 10 you cool. Yeah. You are archers. Yeah.. You do not have archers with you You just have ten to cool. Yeah, you're Archers. Yeah, okay, so there are five of these guys and they are going to shoot Guys, these are five guys burgers and fries again. They're going to shoot fries at you guys So we'll say these first guys will shoot at Bev and moonshine. We'll say three above to a moonshine guys will shoot it Bev and moonshine. We'll say three of Bev to a moonshine. No one's trying to hit Nana. Oh my god they rolled a one and eight of five and nine and a two.

They all miss. Beautiful. No they don't have enough time to watch that get you. Oh we've got a shimmy defiantly. Yeah we bust some fucking moves. Their first their first shots miss. They take second shots. I says you bust moves Oh, no, and they roll a little bit better this time See I need to remember that everyone else in this world gets two attacks one hits moonshine One hits moonshine four I really was gonna hit me the whole time, but I pretend like I jump in front of Nana eight Okay, that's going to hurt. Oh no.

Eight damage on moonshine. These guys shot. That's actually you, hard one. All right, sweet. So kind of same deal as last time. The crew is you've got five archers. And then you've got about 10 of these winery guard looking guys.

Captain is suspiciously missing. And you know that there are at least a few more guys down in the hole because somebody was shooting the cannons. Okay, so first I wanna tell Nana and Martha and Irlin, you guys go take cover anywhere you can, and then I'm gonna turn to my friends and say, Go to Nezmans. Go over to Nezmins.

All right, I think deep deep in the basement. I think his house is probably gonna get screwed up too. I think we're just gonna hide behind some rocks over here. Y'all, that I love that. That's a game down at the crib. Erlin grabs Martha told Gold and Nana and he looks at you Beverly and he said, I don't blame you, dude.

You shouldn't have to save me all the time. No one should have to save me. I'll always save you, dude. You shouldn't have to save me all the time. No one should have to save me. I'll always save you, Irland. Oh my God. Can we just fast forward to Irland doing push-ups and I'm being like, I must earn the love that I feel. Irland is just trying his best to save face now and help as best he can.

He runs off with the mom. Put that hiding badge to good use. All right, guys, being cop took a ship before You took a ship it was oh shit. Okay. I don't know why you needed to do a huge ship It took us all day, but how did I took a ship? All right? I love it I mean I took a couple myself, but yeah, I know I've been learning privacy so I've been keeping it to myself No ship pit pit pit pit with a pit guy. We gotta go on to this boat. Yeah Let's get on the boat. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I see it is at this point

They've like thrown down little anchors. So you guys can jump on to it if you like let's charge it So it is just your turn right now hard one you charging in what are you doing? I am charging in I am going to go for the guards you run in jump on the ship these guys pull out their swords You rush out them with your axe take a swing That is gonna hit that's 25 that hits hit him for nine cool. He is still alive But he's very hurt great. Well, I'm a swing at him again cool and that time I will probably miss that's an 11 that does not hit that makes sense Okay That is actually best turn alright. Yeah, I follow hard one cool jump on you go after guards or archers

What are you doing? I'll see if I can cleave some archers take a swing at an archer? Six plus eight. What is that six plus eight is 14 14 that hits oh? Look guys have leather armor on they on. They're not super tough. All right, let me roll some dice. Would my 11 of it? No, no, no, you gotta do better than that. That's, that's, that's 15 damage. Oh, he's on Death's Door.

All right. Super, super hurt. Yeah, let me try and take that second attack and hurt some of these guys. Cleveland and Weven, here we go. Remember the goat, then. Yeah, that's obvious. These guys are a little better than the goat, man.

That's 17, 17. It's my soul. They're leaving less of a stain on my soul. And that's 10 damage. Tell me how you killed this one guy. He was at 1 HP and you kill him so bad. I fake with my sword and then I kick him off the boat. That's cool.

But you need to cleave. So I guess you'll do like a kicking action while stabbing into the next Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh wow that cool. You kick this guy off the boat and he goes dick move. It's gonna take so long for me to die Okay You hear him echoing taking breaths and falling I kind of like shrugged a hard one Screams all of his regrets deep in the sense falling forever. That was for you, Ireland.

Do you need to be saved, dude? Let's get it, Axty. I love it. Something changed between you two, you guys. I love it. World went. You super hurt this other guy. You stab into him.

You get under his little weeny leather armor, who doesn't wear heavy plate? God, this is like a German restaurant, so many weenies are on here. Yeah, you stab this weeny, and that is Moonchine's turn. My eyes roll back into my head, and I say, storms are brun. And then I call lightning down. Yeah, it is raining too, right? Yeah, it's already raining, so these guys go, you see a green does. and then I call lightning down. It is raining too, right? Yeah, it's already raining, so these guys go,

you see a green goes, yeah, I know that a storm is a brewing water. And I say, shut up, little lady. I kissed that dude for long enough. Watch a bitch call lightning. And then I call lightning down. Oh my god, that was awesome. And then I call lightning down. So I want to, like, as many creatures as I can

within a five-foot point, but not hurting Bev or Hardwan. Okay, you can definitely get like six guards. Yeah. So they have to make dexterity saving throws. Oh, okay. Oh, look, out. Three, half of them saved. Okay, so anyone who's saved takes 10

and anyone who didn't takes 20. What? Yeah. You killed three of them. Lightning comes down and obliterates three of them. They're just gone. Do you just eat chain shirts? Oh, flop down, comically smoking.

These other guys are super scared and super hurt. There they are. Can I say the whips of smoke coming from them, spell out the name Malora, but I can't read it. It's easy. No, because you don't know how to spell Malora. Papa tries to tell you how he would spell Malora. Ram, ram, ram, ram, ram, ram, ram.

You guys just see once again, mo, and then, yeah, moon shines back. Okay, so now these chosen guards are gonna go. How many of them are there left? I know it's raining, two just seeing three people explode into fucking smoke. Well last time she saw me fight, I was using zero level spells, aka cat tricks. She saw you get people to flee. She has like hair down in her face.

You can even see it under her helm. She kind of wipes her bangs to the side and she goes, that's actually pretty cool. I didn't know you could do that. Oh, the respect of a teen. I thought you were just a big, weird bug lady. I pretend like it doesn't feel so good. I feel so good to get respect of a teen.

Respect of a teen is the rarest treasure in all of D&D. So there are seven of these guard guys. They are, you know what, hard one is fighting them while beves after the archers, so they're gonna take cracks at you, but this isn't as dire as last time. No, no, no.

Let's see here. Okay, one crit and one hit. Not two people. Not two people crit on my ass all the time. Crit on my ass. Oh, oh ass. Crit on my ass, man. My butt cheeks are critical. That is 14 damage. Okay. These white knight, Wienys, act. They run on to the ship following their new leader who they follow with such, such zeal. Does that make sense?

I'm review. Yeah? Zeal? Oh, I know something about zeal. Yeah, you jealous. You're jealous. Tweak it in. You're jealous as they run onto the ship.

You just tweaking it. Tweak away, man. So I'm gonna roll. Give yourself a titty twister. I'm gonna roll 10D20s as these guys attack the other guards of which were only seven left and many of them are so hurt. Oh Guys you did okay Fellas

There's two sticks of they're being a crit two crits who Chris? We got two crits a lot of people crit for my ass all the time Okay, guy who crits for me That's all I have sex for now Crito my ass daddy gonna make you crit Disgusting I'm kidding I'm kidding I'm kidding okay, so they'll never get laid again so for guys hit. So the guy who crit takes out a full health one and these other three guys that hit are

gonna take out the guys that were at 1 HP. Jesus. There's three guards left. There's only three guards left on their side. Doing good. You guys are doing efficient. Where's Cobb and Gweinat? They're lower in the order got it first

Something happens. Oh, he's got that little grin. I got this grin after these white weenies go Only three guards left looks like you guys have the battle one. We'll win the day Yeah, no the how good possibly happened, purple nerples for everyone. This fight is easy. Yeah, Moonchan's like, yo, Gway, you wanna get jobs at the ice cream shop down by the shore, the summer?

I mean, yeah, we just have this ship. We could just go wherever we want. Oh my god. Oh my god. Why do I need attention from D-Nature? So suddenly you guys see two guards run out from below deck, as well as a cloaked dwarf. Oh, he's a little.

Drew, it is an e. Holding a great axe. Oh no. Okay, leave me not. The dwarf has a chosen knight standing with him who is this tall, skinny man with very like pointy features. He almost looks like Elvish. This night guy holds a holy symbol which is like a platinum amulet with a gold sword on it.

It glows with a radiant energy. The night presents it to the dwarf who you know kind of shutters and then the night points to the little white night weenie guys and yells, get them off-guard! No! Oh, we're made of fucking off-guard! Roars and charges into combat. No, he's under some kind of spell!

What do they do to him? He's under some kind of spell, doesn't it? It's that little fucking amulet thing. Yeah, I'm Allfgars turn. You see him Russia. It's little fucking night. Ten.

I'm free in all of God. I believe in his, I believe in his innocence. He takes his first turn. Manchurian or all of God. I've been a big fan of all of God for a long time. This is not the only thing that I've been. I'm devastated right now. You see he's still cl- he's got a cloak

outside over his face. Kind of built up, old Gar, in my head. And I was like, he's just cool guy. In one hit, chops two of them in half. Two guys gone. Geez. I don't know if that's old Gar, but that seemed pretty old Gar to me.

That he takes his second swing. Wow. And he hits. He gets two attacks. Off guard hits for three. He just has one attack. He's got a little dagger. And he swings through two more guys. He takes his third attack and he hits

believe it or not. Oh boy. And he slices through one guy, greatly injures another guy, he takes a fourth attack. Any hits. He goes through that guy, they do just greatly injured, chops another dude in half, and hurts another guy really badly. I mean, I really wanted to be on our side. Yeah, that would be good. Ulfgar takes a fifth attack. I really hate this, but I'm god damn it, press.

I know, me too. Any crits. I'm trying not to ovulate. He does so much damage. On this crit, he slices through the remaining guys and all of the white weenies are dead. Oh, he halved our weenies. That was my fucking army. You chubbed white weenies are dead. Oh, you have their weenies. That was my fucking army.

You chubbed our weenies! Of course, you chubbed our weenies! Oh god, I never took you for a chub of weenies! Ha ha ha! You see her? Wuh! Wuh! Wuh!

Wuh! He's under his spell! Get the amulet away from him! Get the amulet away from that little night I don't think we can fight him not like this. I'm not going for old guy I'm going for the freaking amulet that is old Cobbs turn And He looks like he has the amulet

What are you doing the tall point you do old Cobbs hops on the ship old Cob looks rattled having seen that and Old Cobb is going to hit. O'Cob does nine damage to this night guy. He's just taking another shot. He misses. Boom. Blenderbus bangs in the air. Aguene starts taking shots at this night guy. That's right. Hit his wrist. Hit him in the wrist. Oh, I'm frizzed wrist, but if I hit him, that's what I was trying to do She actually misses on her first attack. Riss. Things off her armor. She for being a total badass. She is Rattled. She is a rattled child Yeah, suddenly her age is showing a little bit you see her kind of shaking as she holds the bow But she does manage to hit this night

for of shaking as she holds the bow, but she does manage to hit this night for eight damage. Not bad, young Tween. Yeah. Not a Tween. Yeah, no, you're a lady. Thank you. That is back around to the archers, who all fire at Ulfgar. Babs up in their business. There's only four of them. So I'm gonna say they just swing with their short swords because you guys, you're all up in the mix with them. So they're just gonna go after you, bev or really?

Are we not all just totally distracted? They go, huh, do you see that? He's on our side, Dick. Damn, any swings. Respect. Two guys hit you on their first attacks. 10 damage total. Second attack. They all miss. Alright, they all miss big time. I shake off my fear and anxiety at seeing Ulfgar in this state. That is you hard one. Ulfgar, hard one sure foot, faster than the mountain.

Dude from Iron Deep, big fan. I'm gonna try to kill your master. Okay. You just, you're possessed. You're possessed. Never meet your heroes. Yeah, that is true. Get a swing my great accent, the pointy elf.

Okay. You're running over to the night guy. Ooh, 16. 16 does not hit him. All. You're running over to the night guy. Ooh, 16. 16 does not hit him. All right, we'll take in the seconds, Wayne. I'm hoping that the duttle technique plays off this time. 20 hits, nice.

Hit him for 10. 10 damage, that is Bev's turn. Okay, let me first, I'll shout to Irland, say, Irland, toss me the amulet. Oh, you're pretty far away, dude. Can you just like look at it? And he holds up, he holds up the amulet. Oh, you're pretty far away, dude. Can you just like look at it? And he holds up, he holds up the amulet. His risk isn't it.

I like, I need it, I need to hold it. I wanna try and like counter program, Ulfgar. Oh. Erlin, it's time to do our ultimate move. Oh, you don't want to catch that though. Okay, Erlin is gonna run out, he throws the amulet into the air. You're gonna do an opposed athletics check

against these archers that are up in your business. Okay. Oh yeah, this is that Hail Mary. This is the jump ball. I'm very good at sports. I'm John L. Wade, dude. I'm helpful. No, my turn.

You got to crit. I have to crit. Okay, I crit. All right. I'll just let him catch it and take his legs out from under me. What am I adding to this? Your athletics. Okay. I did not crit, but I got an 18. That doesn't do it. Ooh. Erlin throws the amulet. One of these archer guys reaches up and grabs the amulet out of the air as As you reach up to grab it. I attack cool 18 18 hits okay get that amulet back That's 14 damage 14 damage. She is very hurt, but not dead. Let me just attack them cool

That's gonna be 20 20 hits not. Not, not that. Okay. Okay, cool. 13 damage? 13 damage. You super kill him and you kill a hurt guy next to him. Yeah. Oh nice. There was one guy who was only at seven and that guy was only a two.

So you not only slice through him, you slice through the archer next to him, you do eventually get the amulet back. Nice. From like a discarded corpse. Another successful game of cat. Ha ha ha. I'm sorry I missed up, man.

No, that was me. That was all me, dude. Too much arc. Ha ha ha. I should have thrown it harder. That next year, you and me, we're going to John Always football camp. You did a swift chess pass there.

That is moonshine's turn. Okay, I'm gonna missy step and what do you add to grapple? Is it strength? Strength or athletics? I will give you advantage on the role because you're like surprising him. Okay. It's like a sneak attack. Yeah. I'm gonna missy step and try and steal that amulet. Okay. 20. Not net. Okay, shit. So moonshine, misty steps behind this guy reaches out to grab the emulate. Huh. He got a 19.

Oh, moonshine, you reach out. I whisper in his ear because it feels like a catch phrase right now, I'm like, storm's a burn. Yes, I know it's raining, but are you one of the guards? Oh, you grabbed the emulate off of it. So, if he's step is a bonus action, does that mean I get to do anything else? If you wanna do something with the emulate

or yell something, I will allow that. I'm gonna say, oh, God! Kill this night and I point out the night. Give me a persuasion check with advantage. Oh Oh hell yeah, it's already that's pretty good Shout out to the two crew, but I am gonna go over the 16 18 moonshine as you yell that off-guard Turns towards you in the night and you see the night is standing there with you

and he goes, what are you doing? Look at all of us! Look at all of us! You see Ulfgar starts cackling. And his hood falls back and you guys know Ulfgar was famous for having like jet black hair. Just this like powerful young dwarf. Oh my god. Now his hair is gray. It's only been a few years since the like, Asmodea's stuff. It looks good.

His eyes. His eyes are a milky white. And you see giant black scabs all over his face. Oh, you're gracefully. Thank you. And the wounds are pulsating as if they're alive Max scabs all over his face. Oh, you're gracefully taking hands. Dang it, you got the runs. The wounds are pulsating as if they're alive and breathing on their own.

Is it still my turn that I can ask a question? It would appear that Offgar has crick-ropped. That's what I wanted to say. Offgar, gum with me, I'm gonna save whatever's ailing you. Mooshine? Offgar starts charred, it is not Offgar's turn, but Offgar starts running towards you in the night. I'm gonna say whatever's ailing you. Moonshine. Off-Gar starts charred. It is not off-Gar's turn, but off-Gar starts running towards you in the night. I'm not scared. Now that I see you as Crick-Wrath, I just want to give him a big hug.

You need to take a wide breath. Yeah, do you want to take any movement to like back up from the night at all? I want to open my arm. You know he's got clea- he's got cleave and stuff. But he has Crick-Wrath. Okay, all right, all right. We'll do you with that. He has Crick-Wrath. Okay. Dang. Okay. Mo all right. All right. We'll deal with that.

He's quick. Okay. Dang. Okay. Moonshine just standing there trying to support him. Oh, I'm sorry. I cannot be rational here. I just saw what's afflicted my people.

This is good. You see the night starts yelling to the little wienery dudes. Get in the way. Stop him. Stop him. Get the ambulance back. And these guards, there are five guards left. Three of them are gonna go stand in front of their captain.

These guys believe that the light will protect them, that they're gonna be okay. I'm gonna nod to the other two and just like, right move. And those two guys are going to try to grab the emulate from moonshine. You know what, if they give me down, I've died trying to love. Beautiful.

moonshine give me like an athletics or a strength check. Let's go. Moody. What did you get? They rolled a two and a four? They got a I got a 12 they got a three and a five can I dictate how I won please I would like to say that pop pop popped out of my bed grabbed the amulet and then dove back into my

This so good. Yeah, they're just like trying to grab at you. You're wrestling both of them. You've got your hand like stiff arming one of them as they try to grab at you. Pawbos just deepen them overalls, not traceable. He's down in like the ankles rolling around down there. Oh my goodness. OK, that was the guards turn. They totally wasted their fucking turn.

And then that's Ulfgar. Ulfgar rushes forward. It's got three guys in his path, takes his first attack, hits, believe it or not. Ulfee, that is 21 damage. It kills one guy and it puts another guy down to one. Ooh, that guy is super, super hurt. We can see that guy go down to one because it's zombie. No, he goes down to one. Ooh, that guy is super, super hurt. We can see that.

Did the guy go down the one because he's zombie? No, he goes down the one because he got sliced through. Offguard didn't do enough damage. Offguard looks very upset about that. He swings, gets a little emotional, rolls the one. Misses, believe it or not. Stop wriggling around, you wriggly little bitches. I was just telling Man of that.

He takes his third swing and he does hit. And he does quite a bit of damage and he swings through another two guys. He takes, oh that's it for those guys. He rushes forward and he's, okay you're there with your arms open. I have a look of love on my face, and my bosom is so inviting for the warmest hug

he's ever gotten. Okay. All right. But I also do command him with the amulet to go after the night. Yes. So Ulfgar is first. I'm gonna have you roll another persuasion check

if he kills this guy and continues to cleave through him. Okay. So he takes his first swing at this guy who is rightly horrified and he crits. Hmm. Shucks. I whispered a papa if I drop scrambled, scrambled boy away with the

emulate. Okay. Nice. He does 40 damage. I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid to do that. He cuts this night right in half. You're back there with these two guards on you. Moonshine, roll pure luck on a D20.

I will still let you roll a persuasion check if he was going to hit you, but just pure luck. 17! Okay. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs. There are company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age-old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered. Now we all know when the legwear war begins and we're forced to choose a side, it's gonna be difficult.

Luckily, Bird Dogs has made the decision of which pants and shorts to buy a little easier. Bird Dogs stretchy khakis are designed to fit slimmer through the thigh and leg to give you a truly sculpted look. And instead of making their clothes out of restricting cotton, Bird Dogs invented a cloud-knit fabric that looks just like khaki, but stretches so you get a way slimmer fit without having to sacrifice movement. And trust me, you are going to need all the movement you can get when you and your brothers and legs are out there on the battlefield kicking the shit out of your rivals. So when the lower body battle begins and brother is forced to kick brother, make sure

you are wearing bird dogs. To get yours and a free Yeti-style tumbler, go to birddogs.com slash pop-off or enter promo code pop-off at checkout. That's birddogs.com slash pop-off or promo code pop-off for a free Yeti-style tumbler. You won't want to take your bird dogs off, we promise you. Okay, that's it for me, Go team pants and enjoy the show. One of these guys rolled very poorly. He gets completely killed by the left over dance. And another guard goes down.

There's another 10 damage left over. This guy kinda got out of the way, as the cleave starts to go through to you. Moonshine, what do you say? The fact that you have the amulet is helpful. I say, Ulfgar, you are a hero for a reason. Even if that is not undisplayed in this moment, I believe in you. I do not know what infects your blood and what infects your brain

and what infects your organs and your viscera, but I know that your heart has not been infected. Give me a persuasion check with advantage. Yes. I'm so brutal if you said with this. Ah! Off-Gar is the plus. Super modest guy, he didn't want to hear that.

Shout out to the two crew, but I am going to go to a four of the 11s with 13. 13. Hmm. It's fine. I'll take the damage. I'll take the damage. I still have some hit points to try and persuade him to love.

He does continue to slice through. But at, he does, he hits you for 10 damage. I mouth, I love you as he is slicing through me. You do see, as he cuts into you and you're not fighting, you see this guy is just in a fucking frenzy, just like full blood lust. You see him kind of lose grip of his axe for a second and you see that one of his milky eyes like goes clear for a second.

He's got like a pupil again. And then he like tastes the fucking blood on the air as he cuts into you and it goes white again as he slashes through your belly but you back up. Oh my god, this is what's affecting my people. Are they all attacking each other? That takes us to... So it's 10 damage, right?

It's 10 damage. Oh boy, that's not hospitable. This is a fun encounter. Yeah. Oh my god. You know what? Sometimes, you know, if you're a bad guest, sometimes you just need to learn a lesson about hospitality. Oh my goodness. Okay.

That is, so it's Ol Cobb's turn. Ol Cobb is going to rush up and join Moonshine and and he's gonna hold his action until further notice. That is Aguane's turn. Aguane has like her bow up and she's shaking and she else do you guys what do I do I don't know what to do. A hard one puts up his hand. Don't... Don't shoot it yet. Yeah. Hold your action. She holds her action.

I nod at her. She nods. Fucking terrified. That is back to the archers. These bozos. Oh my god. These fucking bozos. These bozos run. These guys fucking take off the archers and the guards take off.

You guys get opportunity attacks on them if you want to try to kill them if they run off, but they're I was gonna ask about I was gonna ask if they have like lovers or parents or like just learn a little more about them. Yeah They're yelling about all the things they have to live for as they run off. Yeah, right there, the chosen, they're the bad guys. So these archers have taken off, this guard guy can't take off yet, it is not his turn, it is hard one's turn. I throw down my axe. Okay. I say, oh Gar, we are not your enemy.

And you are not yourself. Look at moonshine. You see? He looks at you not yourself look at moonshine Looks at you he looks at moonshine He's just like covered in blood and this fucking maniac your man of the mind just like me I know you can't be controlled by a fucking anulite you're stronger than that Bev it is your turn that guard's still there, right? Yes, he is still there I guess I guess I'll

take care of him first okay seems smart he's like turning to go right away oh is he is he running away you know I mean you don't know it's not his turn yet all right my pulse some scumbag shit you know decide a love behind him and just quietly stab under his press play yeah it'll look like he fainted I want to do a real cool moonshine slide and try and stab this guy Okay, and then get in position next to moonshine cool Okay, it's 16 plus eight. That's probably gonna do it. Yes Just going to hit this guy. It is so funny when huge things happen, but there are still weenies around yeah

That's eight damage cool. He's still a lie Fairly and he doesn't have a lot to live for he doesn't He's still a lie. Okay, and he doesn't have a lot to live for he doesn't Say you're just pushing me like get out of here Get out here man. Oh, you're not needed. What the fuck you do go. Oh, okay read the damn room buddy He starts he's so panic he starts running and he just falls off the airship Oh, no! No! Mom, mom, move! Mom, watch out!

No! He's just gone. Now I'm in position. Yeah. Can I pray? Can I like, hold my hand a little up? All right. I want to hold my hand up to, um, to Ulfgar.

Okay. This isn't what the olive would want. You see he laughs. And he goes, is this exactly what she wants? What? That is Munchine's turn. It's the all responsible for quick rock. Munchine, it is your turn.

What do you do? Okay. I'm going to say, Othgar, I command you to remember the happiest moment from your childhood. Ah! Whether it be running a muck in the fields chasing a natterfly or eating a big old piece of goose berry pie. I don't know what the happiest moment in your childhood was, but I command you to remember it. And remember why you went down the path that you went down. And if you still want to fight me,

I will take your blows as a friend and not a foe. Okay. Roll a persuasion check with advantage. You got the amulet. Your friends helped you out. You can also roll a D6, of inspiration. Okay.

Of course, a happiest moment was probably carrying aura from the mines as a toddler. Okay, I got a 19 plus 2 so 21 plus 1 of inspiration so 22. It was a DC-20 persuasion check. Ulfgar goes back to swing. And as the axe starts to get close to you, he just goes, DUCK, DAMA, DUCK!

Do you duck? No. Olfgab reaction dives and catches you and catches you down. No, he don't, he don't want to stop you. He didn't. As Olfgab swings, Olfgab grabs you and you guys hit the deck. Olfgab swings, fucking baseball bat swing with his axe, but throws his axe away. And it goes and it's into the mountain. Ulfgar drops to the ground, and he starts clawing out of his face.

But you see that one of his eyes is back to normal. He's got pupils again. And you see he goes, she's manipulating me. She knows of my bloodmust. If I'm near her or if I'm in battle, I can't control myself. Hard one, pilot this chip, as far away from here as possible.

And yeah, old red taught me a thing or two. Uh, Erlin, Nanna. Hot five! It's a toggle of get on board! Let's book it! I'm the captain now! Ah!

You, I spin the wheel and fucking head out into the sunset. Erlin, Nana, and Mama Toe Gold. Run out, jump into the airship. Oh God, what is your remember? When I asked your remember your favorite childhood memory. I'll tell you my favorite childhood memory if you tell me yours. It was... I don't even...

I rarely remember. I really even remember. I barely even remember. Was it pie? I don't. I can't remember the last time. I can't remember the last time I ate. Or I did anything. I'll live you up some food.

I'll live you up some food. You like jumble aya? Jumble? This batch? I don't know what I like anymore. Oh, my Lord. God, give them some of that crick water. You know what? I don't know what I want,

if I want to see what this field is like drunk. It's sort of a downer. You guys got off-guard here. He's kind of freaking out. He's there clawing at his day. We just need to get as far away from the dollar possible. He's just punching planks and freaking out, but trying to contain himself like being a maniac dude.

I told you the dead body, one of the white knives. Holy shit, he just starts punching one. He just, he's punching into it. Ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh. I politely cover Nana's eyes. Hard one, play your block. Yeah. Cut, cut, cut. He's got, got. I break out in New Betsy. I politely cover Nana's eyes hard one play her block I break out new Betsy

Beautiful you guys play this beautiful. He starts punching the dude's face to the beat Hard one takes the wheel you guys take off on this airship into the storm It is still daytime Suddenly oh no the sky goes black. It just immediately turns tonight. But there are no stars more bully wugs. There are no stars in the sky. But then your eye is drawn to the clouds above the castle. Oh! Where you see what looks like an angel with wings. In the shiniest plate mail you've ever seen.

She wields a shield and a mighty hammer that she raises over her head. It radiates a white light that envelops her and a giant magical orb. She's as bright as the moon in the night sky. She's floating down towards the castle and you're too far away to see if her mouth is moving, but you suddenly hear a voice in your head. My child, you have been forsaken. And you see, based on how everyone else is reacting, like hard-want-you-look-over-it-all-com, and he's looking up at theala. You guys see, like, Irland and your mom

and everybody look up. Did someone use rapports-bores? I thought I was the only one who could cast it. She keeps talking, she says. For ages, we have worshiped false gods who've toiled away on their own planes while we bled, but we suffer no longer. I will take care of you, follow me,

and I will lead you to heaven, a world without sin. I will bring this kingdom to light. Suddenly there's an explosion of light from her hammer, and the sky instantly clears up in its day again. It's not even raining. She says, today, the chosen have failed in their mission to purge the non-believers. But I am a benevolent God. I forgive you, my children. The evils of these false deities was too difficult to overcome on your own. But unlike them, I am here to help my followers.

You suddenly see eight spectral angels with giant great swords emerge from around her. And together, they all begin lowering down towards the church district. And suddenly you hear yelling in your head. Death to all those who oppose the light! Death to the non-believers! Death to false gods! No! Shit, we gotta go back for you guys. You guys also see movement. You see, they look like little ants, they're so far away.

As the chosen begin rushing down the stairs from the castle Guys everybody give me a perception check That's an at 20 when I don't really mean holy shit. Oh, no, you do need it. Oh good As she's lowering like As she's lowering like in slow motion, like even as she's just talking in your head, hard one, your eye is suddenly drawn to Rosalene and you hear loud whispering. Rosalene. I go over to it. Okay. Do you guys all touch it?

What do you guys think? Just, just hard. Is it gonna compromise Ulfgar if I touch it. What do you say? Just put this hard. Is it gonna compromise, Ulf Gar if I touch it? Actually, Ulf Gar, as soon as fucking Theala popped up, he started clawing at his face and ran down below deck. Cool. Hey guys, the, that loser's sword is talking, I think.

Ah, is it a listed number? Let's check it out. Okay, cool. See you guys. We all grab it out. Okay. Cool. So you guys grab the seal. You guys know that Dirlin has a sword? Uncle Duck has a sword. No.

Who do you guys listen to? No. Who do you guys go to? Uncle Duck definitely, right? Yeah. Okay. You guys channel Rosalene. You see through Uncle Duck's eyes.

You see that the green nights and the green teens are in their chapel. The door is barred shut with pews stacked up against it. And you can hear the sounds of fighting outside. And you see the door shaking as someone rams against it. Bev's dad and the other nights are sitting in a circle on a giant flower bed holding hands around a statue of Polor in the middle of the room. He leads everyone in a ritual. It sounds like he's speaking Elvish, but it's a little bit different.

Bev and Munchain you quickly realize that he's speaking a Sylvan, the language of the Fey as in the fairy folk. You can pick up words here and there. You hear that he's requesting access to a kingdom, to a place called the Feywild. You hear the Feywild, Feywild. The place to access things you don't understand. Daddy's trip and playing. You guys know from stories that the Feywild is a world of beautiful chaos defined by nature and magic. And unlike the upper and lower planes where the gods reside, the Feywild is a parallel plane to the mortal realm. So powerful heroes with a strong connection to nature can access it at certain weak points between the two worlds.

One such point exists here at the Church of Polar, which is why the building is overrun with abundant plant life. It would appear that the green nights are performing a ritual to escape there, but it isn't quite working yet. Bev, since you prayed to Polora to protect your dad, yeah, I'm gonna let you guys aid in the ritual. Oh, I wanna know, I want you guys to roleplay it

and tell me what everyone does. Okay. I am going to tweak my nipple and tune into Melora and say, Melora, the children of Polore need proof that you are a cooperative communal god. Show them, show them your kindness and transport them to the Feywild,

preferably the most safe part of the Feywild because I know that shaggy. You see that as you say that, old Cobb puts his hand on your shoulder and he goes, no I ain't a praying man, but I have sinned. I know the world has given me plenty of chances. I only ask that you extend the same blessings to those people up there in that their church. I take out like a little knife and I'm like do we blood ritual? Y'all? Hard one shakes, I said.

Yeah, I know. Oh, okay. Okay. Hard one I think. I'm just gonna take my braid out, shake out my hair, shut my eyes and say I've never, I've never believed in anything, but if there's any gods out there, prove me wrong, and then I'm gonna start playing my woodblock. Ha ha.

Oh, I take out new bedsy. I take out new bedsy and I play. The band starts playing. I take out my fight, yeah. Bev, what do you do? Okay. I think I do call to iguan and url and my mom and Anna-Kine Lee. We all have training in the arts of the green team.

They join you, you guys kind of all circle around. I take one of the more colorful mushrooms out of moonshine's hair with permission. Oh, always. It's kind of like a, it's a take a penny, leave a penny there. So you have the Haka Lougee in her hair. I do, I do that. And I put it in the center and I say it's not much, but it'll do. The fake, that's such a good idea.

I bet the fake would love mushrooms. Yeah, I give it, I give Yeah, I give it a quick sonic I give an offering of a wild symbol of nature Invite everyone to join me and we all circle around like I saw my dad doing okay, hey y'all I know you said it wasn't time for a blood ritual, but I shed a little bit of blood All right, yeah, I think no I think I say this for the fake for the wild, and I put some blood on the mushroom as well. Nope, okay, okay, I'll do you, I'll do some blood, too. Yeah, okay.

You see these other guys, you see Erlin cuts his hands, and he puts his hand over the mushroom, and he goes, Paulur, if you help these guys, oh, I'm gonna become a cleric. I'm gonna be a cleric, because I'm not strong, but I think I'm just strong in a different way and I just I want to help people so yeah, I hope this works, please, please help people young and you will make such a good cleric

Yeah, um and Irland looks at you and he puts his hand under shoulder and he goes Bev you we you can do this, we gotta do this. We can do this. Thank you for being here. I can't do it without you. None of this is possible without you, dude. We're gonna do this. I know we're gonna do this. I'm trembling a little bit. The amulet is in my hand and it's shaking. I put it away for now, because I don't think I need it. I don't think it's helpful in this situation. No, no, no. I...

I shed it's... I hide it away and then I focus on plurr without its aid. Okay? And I walk to the center. I get everyone to start swaying, playing an instrument if they want. start swaying, playing an instrument if they want. Ooh! Feel like I'm bad at crawfish, boy. I get them to start humming. They start singing. Kallu, Kale, Kallu, Kale, Kallu, Kale, Kallu, Kale. Oh, great, Palore.

Kale. My people need you. Kale, Kallu. It's time for us to go on a trip. Kale, Kale. My people need you. Clay. It's time for us to go on a trip. Clay. We've worked hard.

But there's more work to be done. Clay. Clay. Clay. You are a man of joy. A god of delight. Clay. Most of all, you are wild and pure.

Clay. Take us to the land where my people may heal. Clay. Take us to the Feywild. Kallay. Beautiful. Bev, roll me a religion check with advantage and give me three dice of inspiration. Okay.

One from moonshine, one from hard one, and one from Irland. D6? Yep, D6 babies. Take my D6. That's a 19 on the first roll. Holy shit. Yup. It's a nine on the first roll. Holy shit. Yeah.

It's a nine on the second one, so. Okay. 19, but then you add your religion. Oh yeah. So 19 plus a religion, please. Three. Three. Okay.

22. Yeah. Four. Nice. What does that bring it up to 26? I drop a little more blood. Three. 29. Hereland goes. What does that bring it up to 26? I drop a little more blood Three 29 Irland goes before he goes I

Grab him and I smooch his face really hard Bevin Irland kiss in the middle he rolls a five. That's a total of what you guys got like 34 34 this was a DC 30 check You see vines shoot out from the ship and circle around Bev and Irland as they kiss in the middle. And it is this beautiful majestic scene. We see vines. We'll shine and pop our wings.

Ringing, ringing, ringing, ringing. You see vines grow around them You're shining popper, are we? Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr with blades of grass slithering, then growing into vines, and wrapping themselves around the green nights in the green teens. The garden glows green, then takes on a gel-like consistency, then gets brighter and brighter, as Bev's dad and company are pulled into it. It looks almost like an octopus dragging someone into the ocean. The last thing you see is a face full of green goo as Uncle Duck swall swallowed down by the flower bed

and the green nights in the green teens escape to the Feywild. Woo! Getting wild at the Feywild. This is just gonna be all right, kids. Spring, fake in the Feywild. The Skry spell breaks just in time for you to see explosions erupting from the church district.

And Olkov looks at you guys and he goes, well, should we get the hill out of here or what? Hey, man, Olkov. You're talking to the right captain, Cobb. Yeah, hard one. Hard one. Spin the wheel again. Punch it.

Take the wheel, brother. Jesus, take the wheel. No, no, you take it. Okay. Ha ha ha. Hard one takes the wheel, as you guys fly off. I would say into the night, but it is daytime. You fly off into the day, and that's where we'll end our session.

Woo! Oh, y'all, we are gonna take a nap. Oh, Mallorra, I hope we earned a night's sleep. Come on. I was I wanted to make that ritual moment like pretty hard like a DC 30 I was very worried that you guys were gonna roll very poorly and not make it. Oh man But you know it had to be hard, but you guys did it. Thank fucking God You guys did it. Thank fucking God. Thank God. Thank Gordon, Laura.

Thank the Lord. A fucking 19. 19. That was a game too. Yeah, you basically had to roll like a 15 or higher. Mm-hmm. So many things happen. Yeah, an epic big old day session.

And it will all be discussed on the short rest. Yeah, guys. You tease. In addition to a million other things coming up, listen to our after show at patreon.com slash nad potter. We'll talk about this episode. And yeah, other plugs, guys, buy me an Emily's book. It's called Hey You Up, how to turn your booty call into your emergency contacts available on Amazon and Audible if you want to listen to your books. If you're listening to this on Thursday, the next day on Friday, you can catch an

episode of Big City Green. Big City Green. catch an episode of big city green Big city green nights big city green night. It's gonna be there. It's an episode. I did it's got a Motocross rally in it hell yeah guys wake up buy your tickets to our live show in Seattle hell yeah Watch some big city greens. Have yourself a nice little Friday. Yeah. Honestly, if you're in the situation that I'm in, I mean, have a fucking drink and look at the window for a little bit.

That's what I feel like I need to do. Yeah, just need to stare offensively at the moon. I need to like put Sufion Stevens on and just like quietly be in the passage or seat of a moving car. We have acquired so many fucking dads on this journey. I'm worried about all of them. It's true. Oh boy, man. Moonshine, you thought for a second that old cop of sacrifice, he himself for you. I was so fucking worried.

He was just trying to get you out of the way of that errand swing. Thank God he prepped that reaction. Yeah. I mean, you couldn't have taken an Ulfgar 5 attacks. Although if he took you out, he would have had it like sustained. If he knocked you down, he would have had to like roll to like try to contain his blood lust. I mean, I had to try it.

Yeah, you know what I mean? It was beautiful. If I had wavered and not shown him love, it would have ruined everything. I totally understand. I totally understand. I totally understand. I totally understand. I totally understand. have ruined everything. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree.

I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree.

I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree.

I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. I totally agree. Alright guys, catch us on the short rest, follow us on Twitter at CHMRIFUSME, at EXPERT is Emily, at Jake Herwoods is Jake, at Call D is called well, and if you want to tweet about the show, tweet about it using hashtag, nadpod, that's n-a-d-d-p-o-d. We are we are! Youth of the nation would fly! It's the end of the show guys, We got a shout out our council of elders. Benevolent they be. Oh, thank you so much.

It is by your grace. Let us weave tales of their glory. Call the one that you kick us off. I would love to. First up, we have Matthew M. A bestower of the Amulets. Matthew M. Simeonize Amulet. They are also the bullywag prints. Their teeth are so bright and shiny

that they work just like a bug zapper. Just fly in there. Yep, that's pretty food, baby. Gotta floss them, chompers. I mean, in general, the Craig, we try to keep the bugs alive. But next up, we got Joe in. The lover of Lucy, his wedding rings, were forged in the heart of two twin dwarf stars.

Whoa. And those twin dwarf stars were also married. Good for them. Yeah. Oh, that's incest. Next up, we got, it's different for stars. Twins. Next up, we got Brad D, the only Pebble Pot that isn't Craven.

He is every other Pebble Pot's emergency contact. He'll come through. He'll come through. He will come through. The phone tree is just, he is every other person on the phone tree. Following, we got Jay Loma's 72, aka Steelbreaker, The Wizard of the Wink, Hard One's True Spot, designer of the Broken Blade Armor trend currently sweeping the nation. Wow. Broken Blade Armor. Yeah. Broken blade armor.

Yeah. It's also some underarm. That's a underarm. It's shit. They take a bunch of blades and they mush them down into like a really thin stretchy shirt. Beautiful. Oh yeah. Following that, we've got Andrew A. AKA Phil Spar Ligarden, the half elf who beat Mishka

at arm wrestling and taught old Cobb to shoot. Curly on a quest to find the lost lore, lords of legend so we can teach Papa how to read. Oh thank you! Right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right Sixth, a legendary barge who no item isn't an instrument. Once played, a pitch-perfect Mozart on a sleeping man's stomach. He didn't even wake up. He didn't wake up. No. Got further into sleep, almost went into a coma. Dylan B, a swordsman who uses 12 blades,

one for each of the months of the year. The blades get advantage if used during the month of the opponent's birthday. Okay. That's sort of a guess in track situation. Yeah. I was writing that one and I was like, this is actually kind of a cool mechanic. Sorry, when is this Billy Wugs birthday?

Imagine everyone did that to you. I'm going to start asking that every time. Simon W. The bootleg of hard one, soft loss. He drinks half-pints of beer and carries around a large cucumber that he pretends to play like a flute. Wow! I guess a large cucumber is the opposite of a woodblock. And a flute's also the opposite of a blotch.

Sure. Yeah, it's one to one for sure. Danny P. Bohumi is resident artist, painted Hard One senior portrait at the dwarf inage. It was a stick figure, but the sticks were thick. Oh yeah, so that's all I need. Thick sticks. Thick sticks. My walking sticks be walking thick.

Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah.

Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. so more powerful than Tasha's hideous laughter. Oh, that's a real DM dad joke right there. Thank you. That's good. Spencer Caskbrew, patron elder of libations,

ale maker to gods, and heroes of Bohumia alike, made a limerita so good it made Pelor weep with joy. And Pelor drinks a lot of limeritas. Yeah, that's flavor, baby. All right, I'll take it from here, Pedro E, Bart of the mountains who can turn a raging storm into a mere drizzle. We're a humid day into just a mildly uncomfortable one

with his trusty woodblock. Swampy. Griffin SD, aka the stranger, the silver dragon born Eldritch Knight and owner of the Badgers' Pipe in and Tavern. Hard one once, triple-fisted three beers there. What? It doesn't even make sense, but people still talk about pipe in and tavern. Hard one once, triple-fisted, three beers there. What? It doesn't even make sense, but people still talk about it at the tavern.

Love it. Can now we go to the Badgers' pint and in? Love to see that finger coordination. That's amazing. Danielle, the dastardly dame, Goldsmith of the Realm. Like King Midas, except she can turn off her powers whenever she wants, so she doesn't accidentally turn a friend into some gold But she can do that if she chooses.

Love it. Hmm. QC, aka, Haldoor Frostback, MVP of the Giant Wars, Crude on the SS Stormborn and fought alongside Elias and Red, a barbarian warrior from the frigid North. After a raid gone wrong, saw him betrayed by his fellow northerners, Haldoor vowed never to return to the north. Elias gave him the name frostback since he turned his back on his cold home forever. They also call him Haldy, because that's kind of cute. Ah, Haldy! Haldy! Mani the mundane, accidental deity who got in the way of the

lichest spell to reach divinity. Paladins of the mundane can be found all over Bahumia doing nothing and just kind of hanging out Kim H norwegian barbarian Viking super ripped covered in bronze and wearing a thong Kim won mr. Universe and did it clean Minus copious amounts of arcane You gotta do it Everyone's doing the arcane. You gotta do it, you gotta do it, that way. You gotta do it, you gotta do it. You gotta do it, you gotta do it. You gotta do it, you gotta do it, you gotta do it. You gotta do it, you gotta do it, you gotta do it. You gotta do it, you gotta do it.

You gotta do it, you gotta do it. You gotta do it, you gotta do it. You gotta do it, you gotta do it. You gotta do it, you gotta do it. You gotta do it, you gotta do it. You gotta do it, you gotta do it. You gotta do it, you gotta do it. You gotta do it, you gotta do it.

You gotta do it, you gotta do it. You gotta do it, you gotta do it. You gotta do it, you gotta do it. You gotta do it, you gotta do it. You gotta do it, you gotta do it. You gotta do it, you gotta do it. You gotta do it, you gotta do it. You gotta do it, you gotta do it.

You gotta do it, you gotta do it. You gotta do it, you gotta do it. You gotta do it, you gotta do it. You gotta do it, you gotta do it. You gotta do it, you gotta do it. You gotta do it, you gotta do it. at the same time, provided they are skilled enough not to run into each other. What going to the Olympics? Jordan DJ, a legendary DJ of the realm, was booked two years in advance to DJ Bev Suite 16, but now that Galatoron is screwed, it's looking like the toll golds are gonna lose their deposits. Oh no! Oh, boy.

When we first read that, I thought you meant that he played Bev Suite 16 two years in a row. That was just so privileged he had to. I don't want to be 17, mother. They call it a smexy 17. Then we've got Jeffrey S, Lord of the Fjord, and keeper of the keep. Bev was actually going to have his sweet 16 at this keep, and Jeffrey S has just given me

work that he is going to give the toll golds back their deposit. Oh wow. That's very generous. I'm going to reach a good Yelp review. And we've got Jim, Jim, Flynn, the one man band playing covers of Durandoran, Cran's favorite band, Heck, favorite man in Bahumia land. Wow.

Wow. And now that was a trip for the years. Xavier C. once ate an ukubari for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and only barfed by choice because ukubri looked really sad that his prank didn't work. You gotta do it. I mean, the sad face that ukubri makes, it just breaks your heart. Horocmic bash, my dear friend in real life, wed to Casey, the most patient late in all the realm, who does not kill him outright for donating to our Patreon, even though he officiated my wedding,

and it would be well within his rights to just ask me for a shirt or a shoutout for free, so shout out to the entire Macbash family. They are a healthy clan. Yeah, dude. Sounds like a good guy. Mom up, you guys ready? Cutter W remains undefeated

down by the creek at Leaf Dagger stump. Last week he legit won 100 brown leaves playing against Jonah. Really? I got a brown leaf thing in mind. Jon S, aka, Shubbert the mushroom. And you know after we left crack water, Shubbert killed every goat man. Ah, we taught him well. We didn't leave that grade sword with him. James B, drank beers with cord, and my dad holds four beers at a time. How? Oh, would this be?

Honestly. That's how you get the name Surefoot. Yeah. Henry A, actually this dude wants pantsanced the Boy King in elementary school. That's actually brave. The Boy King is connected. Oh yeah. A brave person to bully.

Elena C. Fought alongside Mishka in Moonstone against the evil dragon. Wow. Wow. There was dragon there, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It was a dragon. That was like the whole point of Moonstone. of in old dragons Andrew M took my ex to prom

M x I'm a prom Beard man Dan his beard is a tiny bit longer than hard ones. That's not an easy thing for me to with me Oh my god. Come sit out. Is it as thick? It's not as thick. Okay. It's a little string Thank you from the full win. I'm sorry. Give me more cash. Scott D. I don't want to say he has a hog as thick as the cobalt wizard, but he does. He does. That's a big hog.

Aaron C. Mr. AC. His AC is a billion. He's never been hit in his entire life. Oh, damn. Mr. A. C. His A. C. His Ability and He's Never Been Hittin' His Entire Life. Oh, damn. Oh, mm. Hermes W. Just Simply Known As The Bat King. He's a Queen! He's a whole bat.

The Bat King of the Batts. T. Alex. This guy rides on a sleigh pulled by Slad Tat Pulse. Oh, gross. Slad Tat Pulse, by slad tadpoles. Oh, gross, slad tadpoles, the mad tadpole. Ha, ha, ha. Harley S is a minecart drifter of himself, the Tokyo drill guy called him.

Whoa. I love it. Parker E, this guy used Galad's scrying sword to spy on Galad and found out he was often Pee-Shy even alone in the bathroom. Devastating. I think he felt the scry, honestly. Probably good. Okay, we got RJW who's the richest person in the creek.

Previously known as the richest person in the Glateron, now richest person in the creek, he has all them good brown leaves. All them good brown leaves. Adam R is a renowned cobalt personal trainer whose popular diet plan nothing but Halflands has helped a lot of struggling cobalt get swole bowl. Swole bowl. I like swole bowl. Brand B was the day of coordinator for the

Allows return. I mean there's a lot to orchestrate. There was the guy became dark and then it became light and and they they threatened the nights picture this instant darkness Angels from here angels from here. Y'all are booming voice Everybody and everyone's head babe everyone's head babe. We pay attention. This is important You can never get her to listen Sandra mhp is the legendary archer who a Aguene has a poster of on her wall. Oh, we didn't think she respected anybody. Aguene took down a lot of posters throughout the years as she got older, but she kept that one up.

Can they want to... Matt C is obviously Maddie Bigg, Christmas, I have some house, Crent, saved hard one, saved a... Save Cobb, saved the upper Sip Cobb. Sip, upper Galea. Sip, later on. Sip, the show. B. We got Ricky. Ricky, once again, oh Ricky, you're so fine.

You're so fine, you got a plus nine to charisma. Hey Ricky, you know, we can't fix that one. That one's just real good. That one's just good. You know, why would you try to tap it? Andrew R. forged the trident that then helped plunge it into the depths of the moonstone bay Also while down there collected some tasty bottom feeders for a bottom feeder gumbo And then we got the cannibalistic cthulhu

One of Bohumia's most vocal advocates of the vegan lifestyle. Oh my God, you wouldn't think that would happen, man. You pick up a nickname when you're young, but then you change, but you can't shake the nickname, you know. Yeah, no. And then we've got Old Cobb. Not to be confused with Old Cobb. Old Cobb is a wise, kindly whittler of super poisonous bollies.

And then we've got Michael M. who is the head mixologist at the Blue Man in. They're always coming up with fresh cocktails featuring local Esri delicacies. There's even one with arcane in it. I'm listening. Yeah. Hard one's new favorite drink. All right, I think that's all for this week. Thank you so much to our council of elders. We bend the need to you.

We'll catch you guys over at the Patreon for the short rest, and then we'll see you guys next week for the episode. Farewell. Thank you. Bye-bye. That was a hit gun podcast.