Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 23: Titan of Earth (Tales From the Crick)

Episode Date: July 12, 2018

It's the Band of Boobs vs. the Sultan of Stone! Hardwon attempts to prove his dominance of the mountain, Moonshine pushes her luck with a risky sneak attack, and Beverly lives up to his reputation of being sassy in the sky. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music/Sound Effects include:"The Mountain Meets the Sky" by Emily Axford. "Trust the Gust" by Emily Axford. "The Titan of Air" by Emily Axford. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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so be sure to use the code PAPA to get your discount 100% free shipping and get it fast with brush processing. Code P-A-W-P-A-W. Goodbye, Sweeties. [♪ Music playing. Ooh, I like that whisper. But try the whisper out. Excuse you all. I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy. Um, can you hush up because Kavlo's whispering? Uh-huh.

And I am joined by Jake Herwitz. Hard one, sure, foot. Emily Axford. Manchand Sam and Sweetheart turned sour tart. Ooh. Oh, that was very good. I did not see the rhyme coming. I was gonna do sweetie on sour, but I thought that I was walking in, but then as we started recording, I was like sweetheart turned sourdarts.

It's really good. I've never heard it before. I think Malora whispered in my ear. We are so far off the rails already. Next stop on this train called called the Waltender. Beverly Toe Gold the fifth, the Boulder Bester. Ooh. Beanie, yeah.

Really good. Had a little time to think about that one too. Like he's really good at bouldering, like climbing. Oh absolutely, does that mean 12? No problem. V12, that's what I think of when I think of Old Cobb's V. And yeah, because he has 12 abs above it. Yeah. 12, that's what I think of when I think of old cops. Old cops. Old cops.

And he has 12 abs at both ends. Yeah. It's like a beautiful arrow. Yeah, it's like V8 like vegetable juice, V12, and it's how you get those sexy peltas lines. He's definitely on a juice diet. Totally. He does not eat solid food.

Just whiskey and just quick water, whiskey, and juice, juiced vegetable. That's why his eyesight is so good. Just whiskey and just quick water whiskey and Juice juice vestra vegetables. That's why it's so good. I feel like the Crick folk would eat just the leaves of celery, but not the stock That's how they all stay so skinny and why they all don't have to you. Just lick the dirt off-solar It's a dirt pop Speaking of speaking of nutrition. we gotta put old Jake Herwoods on blast here. There is, we have banned ice from the studio, not allowed, because it jingles, it makes too much noise.

We spend a lot of time editing this. And I call myself if you brought an iced coffee. Clint, Clint, I'm drinking my iced coffee neat. No ice in it. I caught Jake downstairs a shoveling ice into his drink out of a bucket with the scooper. That's really how to scoop her. And he tried to cover it up and hide it. And you didn't even try it. No, it was a joke.

It was a joke. It sounds like you've got caught though. No, I did make a joke. Can you get caught making a joke? I was a joke. It sounds like you've got a hot dog. No, I did, oh, I did make a joke. Can you get caught making a joke? I was making the ice in earnest. Okay.

And when I heard Murf coming down, I was like, this is funny. So I pretended to be doing it very secretly and be super shook when I saw him. To be fair, getting caught making a joke is kind of the band of boobs entire feels so. Yeah. Have you considered getting my dad used to use these those those cups that you put that like have liquid in the walls of the cup and you put it in the freezer. That's smart. I used to drink milk out of that shit and it turned into like a

little milkshake at the bottom. Wow. All right. Okay, fine. Yes, everyone please send. I'll take a thermos. No, the P.O. box. It would be appreciate it We didn't murve hashtag lift the ice band. It's in human I wasn't gonna say it Murph is hashtag abolish eyes God, did I come out on the podcast and be pro ice? God, did I come out on the podcast and be pro ice? Jake loves ice, so hold on.

Don't clarify. Nobody clarifies. Hold on, delete your twitters. Guys, let's do a recap. So last week, you guys showed up at the Cric and it was all you could have hoped for and more. There were banjos, youngins playing with fire and hospitality for days, but as usual, something weren't right. Nurt.

Your first task was to help Mimaw fight off a freshly transformed frog he myth that was terrorizing the west side of the creek near the mysterious evil fog. Balnor, your fighter companion. Yeah, brother. Bray, Balnor the brave. Balnor the brave swarmed to protect Beverly.

It was almost eaten, but you saved him with a shenanigan and triumphed over the frog he myth. You went back to Mima Stump and informed her about Maribel being the cause of Crick Rot and Mima offered you some advice on how you could possibly beat her. By obtaining power from the elements themselves, Mima and the Crick Elders then led you guys in a ritual and you were transported to the elemental chaos, an untamed world ruled by four elemental titans. You began your journey in the elemental chaos by approaching the mountains of the Earth

elemental Titan, where moonshine almost fell into a crack and died but luckily she was tied to Beverly. Can't catch a crack in a crack. That's the thing. That is on a lot of pillows at the crack. Can't catch a crack in the crack. Too tricky. Then after you guys avoided boulders, fizzers, and earthquakes, you managed to make your way into the earth temple and found the earth Titan who was causing all the

Tremors with the pound of his fist. Hard one matched this pounding with the sound of his wood block, then announced himself to the Titan and asked for his help. So that's where we are now. You guys are in this crude temple made of rock and clay, there's this giant rock guy in the black plate mail with an iron crown sitting atop a throne of stone. The only decorations here are a few torches that give the room a little bit of light, but it's still very dark and cave-like obviously. And yeah, you guys have just revealed yourself to this dude dude and hard one just asked for help. There's no like posters on the wall or anything. There is one just super small poster cut out of a sports illustrated. It's so small. How dank does the air feel?

It's pretty dank. It's pretty cool and dank. It's kind of refreshing because you guys have just gone for a run. So being in here in the cool dank air feels good. And my thinking there might be some cool fungus sneaking around in these dank crevices. You know what, this guy might just kill you guys right now. Oh, I know. Oh, I know.

But they're still hidden, they're hidden. OK, so they're still hidden. I'm kidding. You guys aren't poking yourselves out yet. I'm not putting myself out. So Beverly, Moonshine, and Ol' Cobb are hidden right now. I believe you guys have passed without traits. So you're pretty well hidden in the darkness of this place.

Hard one, you're just out in the open. You've just asked this guy for help. And he laughs and he goes, Oh, what would I help you for? Great question. You should be helping me. Help you, okay? Bow to me.

And he pounce his fists, the earth shakes, do a dexterity saving third and not fall to your knee. Oh, what? Hard one hits at the most. Oh, that's true. 11. He fall down to your knees. Oh!

That doesn't count! Yes, that's good. Grawl before me, boy. Not grovelling, I just lost one. Oh, you're grovelling. Where are you down there, huh? I'm a big fan of rocks. Huge fan of rocks, I show them my pickaxe.

Look at this dwarven pickaxe, pretty cool, right? I'm starting to do some pickaxe tricks. I'm like a little devilish. You think you could dominate stone, is that it, boy? I think I have dominated stone my life. Oh, is that right? That's right. Is that right? Would you like to see someone dominate Stone?

Let's see what you got. You see him hold up his hand. First off, his giant rock hand turns into a big rock hammer. He slams his rock hammer hand into the wall, and then a bunch of debris falls from above you onto your head. Okay. Yeah, do that. Do that, prick.

You got it. All right, I'm gonna swing my pickaxe as hard as I can into the wall. Okay, I'm just gonna give you a strike check. Can I cast a spell as he does this? Sure, will you want to cast? I would like to cast Earth Trevor. Oh my goodness.

So good. Oh, it looks like he did it. Okay, I got a 13. 13, okay. One of you give me a deception check. Probably moonshine. Oh, y'all, that's gonna be good. 20, not natural, but.

20, okay, let me do a wisdom check for this guy. He does pretty good, but not good enough to beat a 20. So, a hard one. Pick to the wall. doesn't hit it that hard At first the guy starts to laugh, but suddenly the whole temple shakes and he goes what how did you? I told you man. I'm the pride of the dwarf image the great axe of iron deep I've heard heard of me. Pretty good. Does a hard one know that I cast this fella? Yeah, no idea.

No hard one to win some thirda. You gotta be to 20 to know that you didn't do that. Um, actually I might have. No wait, how smart am I? Not smart enough, 17. You think you just did that? Sure, which is in character for me for sure. You pound the wall, the whole room shakes and he goes

Oh pretty good not bad But shine did you see that? I'll let him have it Wow hard one so strong I didn't know to see there I give you but I'm really petty with them like the pet them fucking clearly me. Oh wow You guys are silent thumbs up Did you inspire hard one to do that? Oh my god. Oh my lord. So this guy looks you up and down and goes, you're stronger than you look even though you're a little on the small side. Me? A little stringy. Not stringy. You're a little string- You're a little string- You're a little string-

You're a little string- You're a little string- You're a little string- You're a little string- You're a little string- You're a little string- You're a little string- You're a little string- You're a little string- You're a little string-

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You're a little string- You're a little string- You're a little string- You're a little string- You're a little string- You're a little string- You're a little string- You're a little string- You're a little string- You're a little string- You're a little string- You're a little string- You're a little string- You're a little string- You're a little string- You're a little string- You're a little string- You're a little string- You're a little string- You're a little string- You're a little string- You're a little string- You're a little string- You're a little string- You're a little string- You're a little string- You're a little string- You're a little string- You're a little string- So how'd you like to join forces with a stringy little nobody like me? Well, you're pretty strong for a mortal, I'll give you that much.

Tell you what, why don't we do a fair fight? You and I go at it, you beat me, I'll grant you my powers, you lose, you can join my collection. And you see he uses his power over rocks to like use telekinesis to move a stone that's carrying a torch. You see he carries it to a different part of the room. And you see all of these warriors and fighters all petrified in stone, I'll stuck there. Oh, you would be a great addition. Yeah, I am very statuous, I'll stuck there. Oh! You would be a great addition.

Yeah, I am very statu-esque, I appreciate that. You made my temple shake, which makes me mad, but also makes me respect you. I hate you, but I respect you. I like you, and I respect you. I've got a lot of respect for rocks, and especially guys that control rocks. And, hell, if you want to battle me, I guess just can you give me the lay of the land here? What's this battle going to entail? Okay, well

He stands up and he goes all right. I'm a sporting man. I like a fair fight so basically This temple is magical and I control it I'll get one layer action and then I'll attack on my turn Other than that pretty much just your standard boss fight type of stuff Wow, so meta I'm going to turn to my comrades. Moonshan, do you want to report spores? Oh, that's a good call. Okay, our report's for is, and I'm like,

if you wanna do it, like I can try to buff you. He might sense out my me-cast and spells on him, but I can do my best. Yeah, why don't you try and take him one-on-one and if things go south, we can jump in and drag him back north. Okay, but what do you all think about me trying to cast Rayam Fieblemen on him ahead of time?

Sounds good. I'm gonna throw you a shield of faith at the same time. Woo! Cobb. Ugh. Oh, Cobb looks at this giant rock god guy and goes, I mean, if you think you could take a brother. I gotta think this rock god is using strength

and that's what Ray and people wouldn't go after. All right, sweet. Okay. Let's do it. So hard on meanwhile, it's just staring stoically at this rock, guys. It's just nodding as if he's like going over the rules and this guy goes, so we'll do it in the temple. Now obviously I don't want to destroy my own temple

so the earthquakes won't be as bad as outside, but I will be utilizing the power of rocks. I love how into logistics you are, man. Can I, here's what I would like to do. I would like to cast infestation as a distraction and just have like a bunch of cockroaches run across the floor, not on him, just like have them run across the floor while I can, like and then immediately cast Ray of Infuulman on him to try to distract him. It's like sleight of hand. Okay.

So dicey. Go ahead. You're starting with infestation. So just making some bugs appear. Okay. So do that. Then make a deception check and I'll see if he notices you. Okay. Okay. 17 notices you. Okay.

Okay. Okay. 17. Okay. Okay. He did not get enough to catch on to you. Okay. So tell me what's happening.

So bugs come out first. Oh shit. Actually this is kind of bad. What? This is going to be obvious. It's a black beam of a nerve-aiding energy. Can I make myself invisible and then? No, cuz if you do that you'll be uninvisible.

You come out of invisible. Wait, is this just a cast raven people? Yeah, I'm I just I just cast it from a shadow so I wouldn't see it. Why'd you just cast it from his back? Oh my god, can I sneak to his shadow? Jesus is getting so dicey So the bugs came out. He's looking at the bugs and going oh weird. I didn't command those cockroaches to come out The hell are they doing here? That's the place you have here And then I like this

Okay, uh with not it's still you're not it's still right up his butt Okay, uh with advantage it that's gonna be 17 17. Oh, you're also pass without trace. Yeah, I'd be 13. Oh 23 okay, you do successfully sneak behind him without he's just looking at these bugs He goes all right Well, that's kind of weird normally I have like beetles and shit that I can command here. I don't I don't know what these guys are doing Hey get the fuck out of here. He just hard ones starts kicking my dough away. I got him I got him That's good all right, so shall we get into it me and you yeah?

Sweet by the way a lot of mutual respect here. So let's I'm not gonna go too hard on you You don't go too hard on me I just made my ranged bell attack and it is a 25. 25 is gonna hit. Okay on a hit the target deals only half damage with weapon attacks that you strength until the spell ends at the end of the target's turn it can make a constitution saving throw against the spell on a success the spell ends. Okay I want wanna go ahead and throw on Shield of Faith, the hard one. Okay, so you guys fully get a surprise round.

Obviously this man is gonna know that he was just shot in the back. So go ahead and do Shield of Faith on hard one. All right, so what is that plus two AC to a hard one? Yes, that puts me to 20. You know what, by the way, fuck it, let's just go ham. Don't hold back, no hold bars. So So moonshine successfully sneaks behind him didn't really need to use the bugs He's already got passed without trace

But this guy looks at the bugs suddenly he gets shot in the back by this raven people meant it hits and he goes Trudger me. Where is your honor? Where's this little bug sending snake? That's where the cockroaches came from. She turned around at you, moonshot. I know the distone. You just shot him in the back. You got your AC stuff.

Everybody roll initiative. All right, you should sneak inside him and give him like stone diabetes by destroying his liver. He just rolled a nat 20 on his initiative. It's a natural three for me. I rolled an unnatural five. Meaning I rolled a natural one. Y'all, it may be time for that spectral pile pot to come out.

Well, Cobb got an 18. He's gonna be me playing by myself for a bit. So, this elemental was just shot in the back while he was ironing out the details with hard one. He is super, super pissed. I don't care how many little friends you have sneaking around with you. I'm just gonna clobber the one in front of me. And he charges at hard one. By the way, you had Beatles in shit, so it's only fair that I have some friends. You'll see how many Beatles I have, you little fuck. So his first attack hits for nine, rounded down to four,

because of the Raven Feebleman. He attacks again. Why is this so much weaker than usual? He gets a 21 to hits. Maybe the bugs, and he does five damage to you. So nine total. So nine total, and then he's gonna do it. Oh no, he's gonna try to power out of his infeablements.

I am too strong to be infeable. That really did hurt a little bit. And he successfully overcomes the ray of love. Oh, damn. It was nice for a round though. Damn. And then at the end of his turn on Initiatives 20, the temple does some funky stuff.

And so he goes, you think you command bugs which just wait until you see what I have in store for you. And you see the mummy style. A bunch of beetles start crawling out from all of the rocks, scurps, and scurps from all of the rocks scurbs and Scarabs dude hell yes, scary. Oh damn and I guess the only one you can see right now is hard one so these scarabs fucking Crawl all over you hard one. Oh

They tickle Hard on do a constitution saving throw you got to be an 18 Well, of course I didn't do that so you fail so these scarabs crawl all over you and bite chef for 25 so so just 25 Jesus Christ I'm down then are you right yeah? 25 you guys got a strategize Hard one goes down. I thought you could parlay more Jesus. Oh, Cobb runs out from behind the shadow. Oh

Boy, man, I thought maybe you might have trouble with this one, but I didn't think it would be this bad He shoots at him and all Cobb is gonna hit this dude is resistance to non-magic damage though So all cops only gonna do four damage on his first hit and he misses on his second shot but he is going to use one of his 3 times a day bonus action extra d10 of damage so he does a total of 6 damage to the elemental who is still looking very healthy of course that is moonshine's turn. Oh, this is not good. Not a great start now. Let's stumble out the gate.

Okay, I think I'm just going to hit him and then with my bonus action, cast Healing Spirit and create the spectral paw paw. Wait, you're gonna attack like physically? Well, I'm casting Healing Spirit, but that's a bonus action, so I still do have an action. Okay, so I'm not as well hit him. So you're just gonna swing your cimitar?

Okay. I'm gonna bravely, boldly wield my cimitar. Watch me crit, bitch. No, I'm not gonna hit him. Watch me crit, bitch. What is your role? What is your role? You're all the 10. Watch me crit bitch, what is your own hit? What is your own, you're all the 10.

Watch me crit bitch, does a 10 hit. That's a new t-shirt. No, it does not hit. But the more important thing is ask my bonus action. I create spectral pop-up and I'm gonna do it at a fucking higher level. Oh, wait, can I cast the healing spirit? Where hard one is? What is the language of it? Okay

Until the spell ends whenever you are a creature You can see moves into the spirit space for the first time on a turn or starts its turn there You can cause the spirit to restore one D6 Hip points to that creature cool if it's just somebody needs to start their turn or enter it for the first time, I'll say that the spirit can bring hard one back. I see nothing in the language that this is. I'm casting it at third level. Okay.

So it's 2D6. Okay. So a spectral pop-off suddenly pops up where hard one was. Mother, I am back. Papa, give it that milk to hard one Papa T back hard one Yes with your nipple. Yes, mother drink from my milk my friends milk splashing into my beard Eight hit points eight okay eight hit points so hard one you bounce back up all right I brought you back to eight you're back to eight you and your ghostly rat are tougher than I thought

Actually still pretty fucked up, man. Just remember I swung at you. You know, you can come after me too. I'm, were there more bugs that scratched my back? I think there's a mosquito in here. That's, that is actually a hard one, Stern. Oh, shit. Yeah.

You know, just so you know, this isn't exactly a fair fight, we were all pretty tired. So if you win, there's like six of you. All right, all right, all right. This is a giant ghost rat. You talk about honor, it's a little bit lame that you're fighting for unhealthy people and you're using bugs, but tell you what. If you wanted to, we talked to,

but we went over the stipulations at the beginning. I honestly didn't know that arrest was on the table, but tell you what though uh fuck you that's 24 to hit. 24 to hit hits. 9. 9 damage cool and you do magic damage with your axe. Don't say the axe's name because that's the safe word and you will be transported out of the elemental chaos. Strike true. Strike true G G money. I'm gonna swing again. Great. 21. 21 hits. 18. And now I'll use my second wind That's where I get some of my HP back. Yep, so it's just a d10 plus 6 Cool, so you can go ahead and recover you swing into this dude do big damage knock a couple rocks away from This construct that is your turn Bev. All right finally

Everyone's doing great. I Probably don't need to cast this, but just in case, I'm gonna cast Aid, which bolsters my allies toughness and resolve, choose up to three creatures within range. Each target's hit point maximum and current hit points increased by five for the duration. Cool, so you guys get five hit points. And your max goes up by five for the next eight hours.

That is back up to the elemental. And he says, you know what we say in the rock business? Oh boy, here we go. I did, I worked in a mine my whole life. I think the slogan must have escaped me. When they pop back up, you just knock them back down. Never heard that one.

And it's not that catching. Why would rocks be popping back up? They don't have lives. Is there somebody else here? Just me, you're all not a buddy. I said the three of you. For you. He gets 19 to hits.

That's actually not going to hit you, I think, with a plus two. Yeah. Way to go. Thanks, buddy. He takes a second swing. And he is actually, that's 18 hit. That's also that's also not gonna hit I'm looking pretty spry now For now and this is without a rest because you don't play by the rules Don't play fair you're making me angry and he stomps on the ground and the entire temple shakes as debris from the ceiling

Falls down on you hard one go ahead and give me a dexterity saving throw. I rolled a nat one Okay, but I'm going to expect one of my lucky Cool and that time I got a seven Seven that is not good enough I didn't think it would be big swings you take oh my god. I just rolled 3d6s and got three sixes you take eight damage and you're crushed by a boulder pinned under it perfect eight damage 18 18 oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that a nice morsello? No. Okay. I mean, you're down because you're under a boulder,

but you're under a boulder. Right, a down in that sense. Yeah, so a giant boulder falls from the ceiling and crushes hard one to the floor. Hard one you are prone with a giant rock on top of you. That is Old Cobbs turn. Your brother Old Cobb is gonna run over and try to push it off.

Hey man, this guy isn't my bag, but I'm gonna try to lift this for you man. Oh hell yeah, I'll comfort all the 19. Yeah! He fucking runs over and drop kicks it. You know what they say about stone? What do they say about stone? When it pops up, you knock it back down.

Yeah. Good thing. Did you make that up? I did. You guys see me hit the cave wall before it shook the whole fucking thing. It's pretty good. It's pretty good.

Good job, hard one. That is Mochai Stern. Okay. I'd like to, what my bonus, have Papa, squeeze out, squirt out some more milk on the hard one because I already in there. So it's not a bonus action.

Just on hard one's turn, he can get more HP back So hard one go ahead and add more HP sweet. What is it a D8? It's 2d6 is because I cast the third level 2d6's okay, so old cob is gonna do that Who's Bob's baby and your old cob is gonna do that as well because he's there pulling the rock off of hard one He entered the space. Oh Spectral pop-up drink from my milk brother! Shucking my teeth!

Moonshine, does he get more nipple since it's a higher level spell? Yeah, he does. They just get thicker. He's also got some on the back. He's got a couple on the back. His eyes are nipple. I love this sweet, sweet, crick-quiz-y. Drink from my back.

That is moonshenser. Okay, then I'm gonna look at him and be like, you know what they say about stone. We all got something to say about stone today. We got a fight stone with stone and then I make earth erupt from him. What, I don't remember commanding this slow. Would you fart, dude? Do you have dairy? Maybe, I don't know.

And then he does a dexterity saving throw? Okay, 18. Ah, he passes, but he still takes half damage. Okay. Of 21. Okay, so he takes 10 damage. It's great. And he looks like he has diarrhea.

Yeah, as he shakes the construct loses a couple of pebbles out of his butt and it looks like he just it looks like he just took a little Oh, I didn't poop. I don't poop. That's really that's uncanny weight. She shook the earth. Did you not really do that before? No, what are you talking about? We can also we're all super powerful little weener hit It was a weener hit. It was not I knew it you shit your pants man I didn't shit. It was not. I knew it. You shit your pants, man. I didn't shit it. I am not wearing pants. If you need to take like a bathroom break, we can all just...

I don't need to take a bathroom break. Whenever at the end of this, I still need to grant you my power. So you want to just stop being jerks. I don't even know if I wanted anymore. I know, you're parrord of what? Show yourself. Can I also like stage dive into the Aspectropoppa area?

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, absolutely. Oh, pop up. Oh, wow, it's even better. I think I got a strawberry nipple. Yes, mother, neapolitan nipples. You have given me life, and now I give you my milk, my milk of life. I like that none of us think this is weird.

I have to be honest, I'm a little uncomfortable. Just go with it, go with the cob. That is hard one-stern. Am I allowed to glance at Bev's amulet right now too? Yes, I'll get it. I forgot about the amulet. Yeah, I've got to do all the home we can. Yeah, what do I get for a glass? Half-hit dice plus your constitution modifier.

Ooh, ooh, ooh, amy, amy, come, get some, amy, amy, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, great. Ooh, ooh, Emmy, Emmy, come, get some, Emmy, Emmy, Emmy. Ooh, ooh, Emmy, Emmy, Emmy, Emmy. You doing the Emulate Dance? Yes, Emulate Dance. How could we forget? I'm getting healthier and healthier. I think it's real as Emulate sounds like a tiny version of something.

Like a tiny omelet, omelet. I'm not going to win. An Emulate Omelet? Oh, yummy. That's what an egg is. I feel bad hitting a guy with diarrhea, Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet Omelet You make you look like a real tool out yet you're you're probably feeling lighter on your feet. You keep pops you in the Shit a bunch out my face hold up. You got bit by bugs before dude 20 to hit 20 to hit hits I'm rock and I'm wearing armor 10 damage 10 damage okay, I'm gonna use my action surge. Okay, good. Keep on hitting him If you really if you need to take a bathroom break just let us know

Good call keep on hitting him if you really if you need to take a bathroom break just let us know 25 25 to hit that hits why did they smell so bad Because it's musty in here. I like it musty 16 damage Jesus you hurt him Great, oh Say the word you could take hit 27. Yes, absolutely 11 damage geez, okay, he's starting to look pretty fucked up Okay, okay, that feels good starting to feel a little fucked up. He's so laryl Maybe we can reason with him if we get sweet. You have too many friends and we could use another you can never have too many friends

Oh, that's a good call and we could use another sir rock Lord, but you like some of this nipple shut up It's your turn. All right I come out singing and I say I come out singing and I say, when you're battling a Titan, and he gets a little frightened diarrhea. I guarantee you. I guarantee you. That's not socks, it's sock kid.

You're ambulance dead socked. Vernon's still out. I cast protection from evil and good on hard one, which the way it works, it's a concentration spell, and one willing creature is protected against certain types of creatures, aberrations, celestial, elementals, faith, themes, and undead. So you cast that, but shield of faith breaks, so your AC is down, but now he has disadvantage on attacks against you. Great, cool, cool. And also I activate my,, oh shit my wetstone. Okay, you ignite

Hard shine with now it glows with green energy. You can reroll your twos That is the elementals turn the elemental is proud and pissed and he swings his hammerhand at hard one with disadvantage You're still weenie enough for me to hit you. I love how friends can razz each other. He whiffs big time. And he takes a second swing. You know what? Moon shines up in that mix. He'll go, you know what?

Never mind. I'm just going to swing at this person who just staged I've been. Oh, yeah, you like that? Moon shine, why'd you get so close? I used to go to clubs. He does hit you. That's fine. I can take it.

I've been buffing. That is, I think, 11 damage. I take it like a woman. Hey, Moonchan, you didn't make the cave shake before, did you? No, hard one, that was all you. All right, cool, I thought so. You guys want to see someone make the cave shake? Not anymore, man.

It's more. Oh really? He turns his other fist into a hammer and swings both hands down on the ground and cracks the earth. There's a giant fissure. Ol' Cobb, moonshine, and a hard one. Go ahead and give me Dex Saving Throws. You know you can have a pretty good construction business if you wanted to.

No, I was going to say, I bet you're never even... Okay, you're good. I don't think it's gonna make it. 12. Are they within my aura? Yes, I would say you're at 4 to that. 16! You guys all saved.

Yes! Just out of the way of the crap. I extend my aura. It feels like your face is covered with grease and acne for a brief moment. Yeah, I was gonna say I like to think of your aura as like teenager who started to sweat and smell, but doesn't know how to take care of it yet.

It's just like a little teenage stain. It's just teen stank. That's my aura. Oh, it's just a cave smell. What is that? I feel more dexterous, but I feel weird about it. Smells like Teenspear. Part starts black.

You got to fight dank with dank. You're all so dexterous, I hate it. That is Ol' Cobb's turn. Ol' Cobb can't do much. He's just going to shoot twice. And he hits once for 10 damage, rounded down to 5, and that is Moonshine's turn. I'd like to take out the green team gift bag. Wait, what?

I'm so sorry. I think one of the reasons we got into this fight is because we didn't say we came to bring you a gift. What is this bullshit? Ah fuck, I'm a cure wound, hard one. I'll do a second level cure wound. Okay, there's bottled water in there. Yeah, you see he peeks in and sees that there's a little bit of trail mix, a little bottle

of water, a little leaf sets that tells you what kind of leaf it is, a little book that tells you what kind of berries are safe to eat, and that's super useful. I know what kind of berries are safe to eat. I don't even need to eat. For the looks of your diary, I'll tell you what. I'm an elemental. Bad diet.

Um, hard one, I'm sorry. I rolled so poorly, so I'm only giving you a 10. Oh, that's great. Okay, hard one, that's your turn. Oh, but I can also take some pop-up. Got it, okay. No action required. Okay, so I'm gonna take a shot of pop-up nipples too.

Yes. Drink as fast as you can, friend. Slurps, lurps, bottoms up. You're just doing another crazy weekend. A D6 plus what? It's two D6s. Oh, great. She cast another higher level. This milk is sweeter than usual and chunkier.

Do you really need to gyrate when you've been using this? Full of nutrients, little Beverly. That is true. Feel free to join our team at any time. I'm going to swing my axidum. Yeah, I shout up at the Titan. You want some of this milk? Have you ever had milk?

I don't drink. But you got to get in on milk. I rolled a four, but I showed up at the Titan you want some of this milk. You were at milk. I don't drink Aw, buddy. You got to get in on milk. I rolled a four, but I'm gonna reroll Use another one of my lucky points. Okay, hey everyone. This guy's never drank milk That's you know that explains this complex. That's a 27. Seriously. I'm gonna kill you all 13 13 damage yep Dang he's right hurt. Oh, is good to know. Alright Swim. Just have to survive a couple more rounds. 23 yes that hits. Oh we haven't even sicked young Bev on him yet. Nope 11. You have been over here casting support.

11 damage. Yeah. Only young Bev's gonna step up to the point. Dang okay he's quite hurt. We have that is your turn. I'm going to cast Hold Person. Okay. The second level, away it works, is Targamus succeed on a wisdom saving throw or be paralyzed for the duration. Figured he's not that smart. He rolled very poorly.

Hooray! Okay, so he's paralyzed or he's paralyzed? Okay, all right, that's enough of that. I'm going to just, I'm going to keep you locked up. That can't feel good, huh? Can't feel great. He can't speak while he's paralyzed. Okay, well, wink, wink, blink one time for yes, two times for no. Are his eyelids paralyzed? You see, he's just shaking with fury at the end of his turn, because his turn is next. He tries to get out. It may be explained to him that you paralyzed the team. And he rolls a 19.

He breaks the spell, and then he's going to use the cave action, because he can't do his attacks this turn. You see another swarm of insects comes out at hard one. I hate these fucking... Oh no, they're coming at you. Scareps coming out. Not again. Scareps, all you do is fight with bugs.

Bugs are great! They suck. Roll a Constitution saving through! Darnish, right. Bugs are very important to the ecosystem. I feel bad, but I'm giving them all cute names as I see him running up his thighs. I'm gonna use my last lucky point to try to not get eaten by these bugs.

I think, no, you know what? Fuck it. Well, are you bad to go down? Well, the pens, they fucking killed me for 23 last time. Yeah, big scarabs. They're meaty. I definitely saved that time. That was a 23. Okay, so you only take half-damp. I'm like shouting facts about the scarabs and hard ones. Those are impromptu scarabs. It's a sub species. Thanks, bud. You're able to move out of them. Don't you mean thanks, bud?

You move out of the way of some of the pincer's because of Beverly's advice. So it would have been 19 damage, but it's just half, so you're just gonna take nine damage. All right. And that is back around the old Cobb. Who's just gonna shoot out him twice? I'll do this quick.

He actually hits some more times That is That is 20 total damage divided by two so 10 this dude is super fucked up Moonshine is like redneck YouTube video just like oh like Hick shooting at a rock I'm just gonna, I don't have my chill touch, oh yes, I do still have chill touch. I'm just gonna chill touch him. Okay. I think it's gonna be better than my regular attack. I'm just saying I want to be like, you ever seen one of these before? Yes, I fought hundreds of people. Yeah, it's a pretty basic kind of trip honestly. I probably shouldn't have been so honest. I think that guy tried to use it. He points to a petrified stone man with a robot. Yeah, okay. Well, he brought in a cool spell to use and his friends need to be healed.

So, you know. Oh, that's too funny. Okay, so that's gonna be 3D8, right? So it's 2D8, so what that? It's 2D8. Well, our house rule is we allow crits on spell. So just double the damage. do do do 4d8 Do 48 so you're fucking it here. Oh, wait is it plus my in this house. We do double crits. Oh

Hell yeah 22 22 You fucking smack these rocks apart, they scatter. Yo, I just took your life with a chill touch. This dude. Death back in the end. Death touch. Spectral hand goes right through him.

You see he explodes and scatters into a bunch of different rocks. You hear an echo. No! gatters into a bunch of different rocks. You hear an echo. No! Video game style, just light coming out of him as he explodes into a bunch of different rocks. Okay, so now we gotta go around and collect those rocks, put them back together, get them the reason with them. Yeah, you know what they're still about stone.

Is his head still bouncing around? No, he has, he has burst into little pebbles, but after you guys wait for like a beat and catch your breath You see the rocks begin to reform and he comes back not as built as before like a little smaller kind of like group He's a baby group rock. All right, boss. Yeah, you beat me look at you I'm at it at the earth itself. I scoop him Look at you. Look at you. They've dominated the earth itself. I scoop them.

I scoop them up. Oh, this is so humiliating. I'm not so small now, am I? Can I just say, I'm so sorry to have killed you with a can trip. That feels so disrespectful. It was honestly, I am nearly a god. Papa, Papa, come over here and give this baby some milk.

Ram. Oh. All right, well, you've dominated the earth itself, and you've earned my respect. Step forward, he or she, who would receive my blessing, the vitality of earth, and he jumps down from your scoop, and he slams his his fist down and it makes the tiniest little trimmer. Oh, I'm good. Yeah, what's the vitality of Earth is that?

A sedentary. Yeah. You don't want my drift to live this temple. No, we're fucking with you. Who should we take Earth? It seems like we're just all going to get one. I'm assuming that's what should happen I like the idea of me being the the mountain man. Yeah, I think you should take it

For it you want it you want it nobody nobody okay? Do you want my blessing or not you prick scoop them back up. Hey, I have nothing but respect for my fallen foes. I'd love your blessing. Alright, come here, you dickhead. He puts his hand. It's a little razzling between friends. I give him a tiny nugie. I'm gonna be big and uncertain.

And if you come back here, I'll kill you. Well, now you're my champion, so I kinda like you. Yeah, you're amazing between friends. Isn't so bad. Give me a nookie. Yeah. I'm gonna call you soft rock. Thank you.

So hard one. A rock wall begins to form around you. And then the stones break into pebbles and attach themselves to your skin. For a split second Beverly and moonshine, you see hard one's skin kind of turns to liquid as the pebbles are absorbed into his body. Ouch,ouch,ouch,ouch. Much like the scarabs.

That's exfoliating. He looks like a stone golem with hard gray skin and a body twice the size as it was before Finally hard one's appearance reverts to normal, but hard one you feel physically tougher like your skin itself has gotten thicker and like Stone your AC and your con have each gone up by one stone. Your AC and your con have each gone up by one. Oh right. Dope. That's our stocky guy. Yo. What's your AC at now? 19, baby.

Oh that feels good. That's going to be really miserable to poop out though. So that makes my Constitution 16. Your con modifier goes up to three if it just went to 16. Hell yeah. Cool. So that means you also get plus one HP for each of your levels because your con modifier has gone up Wow, so that so your max HP goes up hard when you feel fucking tougher than you ever have yeah, and this guy goes This is not my full power, but

someday you can call on me in your time of need and But someday you can call on me in your time of need and I will grant you all of my power Awesome, this won't give me diarrhea like you have really He gives you he gives you the predator handshake, but it's a hand to some tiny Now that's you soft rock are my champion, you may all spend the night in my temple if you would like. All right! Oh, Malora, I just get to my knees and go to sleep. I'm gonna shine already, Ed.

Might have the bed somewhere. Oh, no, it's just rocks here. One big rock. Just a warm view. I can get up to a lot of trouble. So I hope I don't disturb you. He starts hopping around, but they're just the tiniest little tremors because he's a little bit

weak. I wrestle awake, and I'm like, did some foot of Carter in the bed? This shake in a little bit. Papa's just, rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr We had a sharper image. Beverly is a little too excited by the vibrations. Okay, Beth, sleep on your back. Yep, I had you. Just gonna go and put my backpack on top of me.

Good. Hey, we're in a temple. No need to pitch a tent. You guys. Oh, keep it a light. Oh, this still got it. I'm so hurt. Let's rest up, buddy. All right. Get, this still got it. I'm so hurt. That's rest of the money.

All right. Get that vision to be back in full force. OK, so you guys probably hang out for a couple hours, kind of prepare for the next day. You go to bed when it hits night. And you guys wake up when the sun rises. And you see this dude is already full-size, sitting back on his throne again.

Wow, your weightless cute. Yeah, well, yeah. It takes a second to get back to my full form. How'd you bulk up so quick? You have a routine? Yeah, I just call rocks to come join me and then here, check it out, check it out. Okay.

You see more pebbles join him and he gets ever so slightly bigger. Whoa. Do you notice the difference I do if I do it for hours I get a lot bigger right I grab a pebble off him and watch it like fly back and then I pull it off again oh oh oh oh sorry oh quick picking him up defend me champion I flick better here

how much damage does he take? Do a strength check on that ear flick. Flick is a D12. Yours are sent. Oh, I crit on the flick, actually. Oh, you crit on that flick. This is another chill touch all over again. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs.

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That's birddogs.com slash Papa or promo code Papa for a free Yeti style tumbler. You won't want to take your bird dogs off, we promise you. Okay, that's it for me, go team pants and enjoy the show. Um, where, okay, before I stocked my spells for the day, where to next, fellas, you got something a man actually thinking water air maybe we should ask a local see if they have any opinion. Oh, that's a good idea very nice Where do people go for brunch around here?

Somewhere where that's not gonna have a line. I just eat rocks so I'm not a popular guy. You get invited to brunch. Alright, follow up question. Follow up question. So, who sucks around here? Oh, I hate my brother and my sisters. I hate them both.

Oh, I mean both three of them. Shit. But if you had to pull one over on one of them, like who's the biggest dumb dumb or weakling or? Well, she thinks she's really smart, but I can help you reach my sister in the sky. And you see, he pounds the ground with two mighty boulder fists and the ground starts shaking beneath you guys.

Suddenly giant rocks begin sprouting from the ground and piling themselves on top of each other, leading you guys higher and higher and higher. You see the top of the temple comes apart. It just crumbles. The rocks fall the side. You guys brace yourself as a mountain is literally built underneath you. Oh, hell yeah. And when the tremors finally stop, you guys are hundreds of feet in the air on this peak. That was some productive diarrhea. Ha ha ha. Hard ones is waving his hands, but

there's no. Okay. It's real dank rocks. Yeah, so you guys are up in this peak. You hear from the temple down below. Good luck, my champion. Do we proud? I will. I hate the air the most. She's no cocky.

She thinks she's smart, but I'm smart. You're the whip smart. You're the smartest guy I ever met! Hey, thanks! You know they say they call people dumb as rocks and I find that offensive! Same, man. Good! Got nothing but respect for rock.

Alright! Rock beats everything! Hell yeah! That's how I play rock-beam-resistant, man! Anyway! I'm gonna go sit on my thorn and make the horse move! Later! Peace!

The altitude makes Bev vomit. Yes, so you guys are up on this peak now. The wind is whipping around you. There's thunder, lightning, cyclones. You're just up in the open here amidst this terrible storm. So you guys see about 200 feet in front of you are a series of small floating platforms only enough room for one of you on there. They're white and marbled. The platforms are arranged in a square three by three all 200 feet apart. The only place that a

platform is missing is directly in the middle. So there's basically one row of three platforms, then a row of two platforms, then a row of three platforms in the back. They're all equal distance apart, again 200 feet. So below these platforms are the mountains and the earth elemental did raise the mountains to bring you guys up with the peak, but it is not a safe distance. If you fall off the platforms, you will fall anywhere from 40 to 100 feet before hitting the rocks and having to climb back up. No big deal.

That's not a big fall anymore. So past this floating platform grid is the temple of the sky. You see a giant floating open air platform with pillars holding up an intricate gold roof with a tornado-shaped dome on top. It almost looks like St. Basil's Cathedral with the onion-shaped dome and there's a cyclone of wind going nuts inside the temple. Yo, I can't help but respect this woman. That is decor. Directly above you guys, about 30 feet is a glowing green sphere.

And there is an identical one in the temple of the sky. So you guys are on top of this mountain peak at the same height as these platforms that are about 200 feet away. Suddenly, a strong gust of wind blows down from the direction of the platforms at you, and you have to hang on as to not be blown away. It lasts for about 10 seconds, that it calms down a bit, direction of the platforms at you and you have to hang on as to not be blown away.

It lasts for about 10 seconds, that it calms down a bit, but the wind is still very strong. So instead of dealing with like east, west, north, south, just to make this simple, we'll say right now the air is blowing down and the platforms are up. Okay. But then there's this green glowing or straight above us. And there's a green glowing orb straight straight above us and there's a green glowing Oh, that might be kind of like an air like a speed bullet train Yeah, and who's good at driving shit. That's Bev Oh, yeah, I've got my permit and everything how high up is the orb 30 feet all right, uh, shall we?

Should be totem pole and see if we can reach the orb? Yeah, I think we towed them. I think we towed them pull. What? And then have them climb up on top. Absolutely not. I didn't know you guys can lie. Okay, do it. I'm a friend of. 30 feet. What about misty feet? 30 feet, couldn't we?

Yeah, I'll misty step up there. Should I tie a rope to each of us? So in case the orb goes out of control, he can't do that. Yeah, not a bad idea. Yeah. Yeah, all right cool So I do that they were like an Everest expedition. We're like or like or like kindergarteners on a field trip Definitely that okay, so you guys tie a rope around Bev and then you're sending them up. Yeah, okay You only see how you can toss me first Hard one tosses him. How high does he get?

Do a strike check. If you roll in that 20 I'll let you throw him straight up 30 feet. Actually the wind is whipping up here. Do you want to throw the young Bev? No I don't. But I did roll pretty well. He's starting to throw him up and the wind just starts to pick him up and you have to grab him by the foot. Yeah.

The strength of your mind took over. I was parasailing for a second. Okay, yeah, I'll misty step up to the orb and try and bat. So Bev, you misty step over the screen orb and you're in the air falling down towards this floating orb. I pull out my umbrella so I can glide. Very poppins down. You pull out an umbrella, it turns inside out. Off a poppin style.

Poppup. You do still have the rope around you. Can I just kind of slap the orb? Okay. Bev, as you fall down, you slap the orb. Suddenly, the orb turns red and down, you slap the orb, suddenly the orb turns red and begins blowing you towards the platform. The wind direction changes to up. But you guys have him tied up. Should I untie him? No, no, no, no, no, it's time for some podcasting.

So are we all going to fly out? I don't know. I think real me in, real me in, please. Oh, but I mean, this seems like what we wanna do. We wanna blow towards the platforms. I think so. Yeah, but maybe with a little more precision. All right, Final start real in the back. Oh, my God. So you, real him in, so I wanna fly like a kite

just for a few seconds. Yeah, the strong gust of wind comes out. Bev, you are flying like a kite floating in the air. I extend my cape so that I can kind of fly in squirrel for a bit. It's beautiful. Bev is flying like a kite through the air. The wind dies down. It's this gust that just lasts for like 10 seconds towards the platform.

And then it settles. The wind is still blowing in that direction, but it's much more subtle now, and you guys are able to pull Bevin. Okay, so it seems like we can use the wind to jump from platform to platform. Cool. Very cool. He's a wind to jump from platform to platform. Are we 200 feet from a platform? Yes. So, oh, so you're suggesting that we... We use it to propel us. I take a, I want to wait for the next gust. Okay, how often do the gust come? There's no gust now.

There's no gust now. There's no gust now. There's no gust now. There's no gust now. There's no gust now. There's no gust now. There's no gust now. There's no gust now.

There's no gust now. There's no gust now. There's no gust now. There's no gust now. There's no gust now. There's no gust now. There's no gust now. There's no gust now. There's no gust now. There's no gust now. There's no gust now. There's no gust now. There's no gust now. There's no gust now. There's no gust now. There's no gust now. There's no gust now. There's no gust now. There's no gust now. There's no gust now. There's no gust now. There's no gust now. There's no gust now. There's no gust now. There's no gust now. There's no gust now. There's no gust now. There's no gust now. There's no gust now. There's no gust now. There's no gust now. There's no gust now. There's no gust now. There's no gust now. There's no gust now. There's no gust now. There's no gust now. There's no gust now. There's no gust now. There's no gust now. There's a gust of wind blowing you guys left. And all got braces, I'm sorry. We braised. All right, braised, braised, braised. Okay, let's experiment a little bit.

I got two things I'd like to try. Okay. They call them can trips, but sometimes you crit on them. I'd like to produce flame and I can throw it 30 feet. Okay. So I'm gonna produce some flame and then toss it up at that end. Oh yeah, you throw a fireball at the sphere,

you hit it, it turns blue, the wind starts going right. Brace, we're brace. Everybody braises themselves again. Brace and clutch it. And then, well, first I'm gonna, because it has a range of 30 feet, now I'm gonna invest it with it. It's bugs with spiders.

Okay. Oh, maybe the spiders will track an eagle. You make, you make bugs appear on the sphere. The bugs bite the sphere. It turns green again and the air blows down from the platforms. Brace, brace, brace, brace, brace, brace, brace. Brace, brace, brace. Go get out saying we're brazen, we're brazen. No need to be abrasive.

I'm still touching it. Okay, now I shall touch it. Turns red, starts blowing up. Okay, now don't touch it again. This is the direction we needed to blow so we can somehow use the wind to propel us onto that platform. But I don't know how we're gonna get 200 feet.

That seems like a real humdinger of a distance. Does it feel like we could jump up into the gust? Yeah. All right, y'all. Are you saying we should trust the gust? Just the gust. Just the gust. I will also say that, remember when I told you guys

about the mountain below, you guys aren't falling Beverly off the tower height, if you fall, you're falling for 40 to 100 feet. So the most it would be is 10 is 10 to 6 of damage which is a lot, but that's a really high roll That's that's some comfy damage. You're right. All right. Let's jump all right All right y'all I'm gonna chill touch it and then we're all gonna trust the guys It's out Wait you guys are there's only three platforms that are close to Okay, so maybe we do it one by one.

Yeah. And then I'll go last. All right, I'm just shooting off chill touches. I'm gonna go people jump up. So you shoot off chill touches. Presumably you're kind of cycling through the ones that go right and left and such. No.

No, okay, you chill touch it. Wait, it turns white and you guys start going left. Wait, start going left? I think this thing, it's not like, she'll touch makes it red. It's like it goes red then white, then green. Okay, so yeah, yeah, we're cycling until we get to that red. So you go from white to blue to green,

back to red on red, it starts blowing up. Red means go. Deploy, who's going? I think she does, I think she does almost almost being like when they use like the port keys in Harry Potter that they like get like sucked away. Oh yeah. So hard one, you're going? I'll go first.

Hard one. You jump. The wind picks you up as you sail towards this middle platform. Hard one, storm board. Ha ha ha. First to fly, first to dive, brother! You sail towards this platform, you land on it. As soon as you land on it, the sphere turns white

and begins blowing left. What do you do? Three, two, one. Jump to the next platform. Cool, left. You jump left. You jump left. You sail over to the left one. As soon as you hit the platform, the platform turns blue and starts blowing you right. Three, two, one. What do you do? Brace, you fall off.

You fly. What the thing? What? You can't brace this giant wind that took you 200 feet. That's fair. So you blow off the mountain. See you didn't trust the gust. Yeah, trust the gust. I roll a D100 to see how many feet you fell first. Oh dear. Jesus 90 feet. So 96. So the order is

red, white, blue, green. So you jump. So when it blew at you, when it was blowing to the left, you popped to the left. Yeah, and then it started blowing right. So then presumably you would hop back to the right. 28 damage. 28 damage? Yeah. Okay. I was born of the storm!

Who are you not, brothers? Are you okay? Kind of. I did really want to be the first one to cross, and now that's not going to happen. Okay, take a minute, buddy. I'm getting some paper out. Oh God joins you trying to take notes. You hear the earth elemental guy. Are you alright, man? She's tricky. You gotta watch out. You said she was dumb, but this puzzle's really fucking hard. Hey, hey Mr. Rock guy, do you have any cheat codes? Yeah, you just I don't know, you build mountains and shit.

And, uh, uh, I'm gonna go back to my throne. Would you mind building us a mountain in the middle of this so we could just jump across? So kick my ass if I get too close. So hard one, you're able to, you climb back up the peak after, um, falling so far. Oh, okay, hey guys. And the, the sphere is blue now. It's blue.

There was a gust that took you right. Is the pattern of the orb always red-white blue green from what we've observed? From what you've observed, yeah. Okay. If it's on blue, that means the wind is going to blow right. Yeah, but we have to start on red to get over there to begin with. Right. To go up. Unless I'm a chill touching it.

Oh, I wonder if that's what it is. You have to override it? Yeah. I wonder if that's what it is. I have to override it with my chill touch. But doesn't the gust blow as soon as you touch the platform? I mean, there's like a split second. All right, okay.

He was able to land on the platform like successfully and make a decision. So there's like a split second. All right, okay. He was able to land on the platform successfully and make a decision, so there's a beat. If you're able to slap that ball before hard one lands, that would be able to change the flow of the wind. But you're only gonna be able to change it once or twice, I think, maximum. Yeah, how many chill touches can I get in?

You haven't tried. Just reach up there and see how many you can slap. So the first one's left, so that would take into the next one. But then... If you let it blow and left, then yeah, you have to... She'll touch it on blue and green so that it would blow and forward on red. Or do I want silence? And then...

Take in real life Rubik is ginger sitting here. I don't know how to do puzzles, but I'm willing to be the guy that jumps Beverly is so excited. Now, what have we said? You're out again. Just the Johnny Knoxville. Beverly has his protractor out. I have a sextant. So I chill touch it once it gets him onto the platform The second he steps on it, it goes white, which means he goes to the left. The colors are red is up white is left blue is right green is down Is that right? Yes. Let's hope so. I'm just gonna trust the gust every single time and you guys are chill touching. Yeah, you don't trust the gust, trust us. It is really stupid that we're committing to using you again since you just got hurt. I'm gonna take a look at Bebs again.

Why was? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, go ahead and heal yourself. Yeah, what we're hard one and old Cobb doing while we're trying February, we're having a puzzle club. I was blowing air on my goggles cleaning them. Nice. Oh, God, you're beautiful little captain's hat. Yeah. What I was made for. What's my, what do I get for the amulet? It's a detail. Your three hit dice. I just want to say for the listeners that Murf was grinning like a sick bitch that entire time. He just was loving our confusion. I really hope that people draw their own maps at home.

And I want to see how wrong they all are. Yeah, I would say the easiest way to describe it is that the platforms are like a square of nine platforms, like all in a little square Like around in the perimeter with only three columns. Yeah, yeah a little free space. Yeah hard one. You're ready to die I just dive what that emulator just put me back at full HP all right. Let's go all right All right, you ready to trust the Gus brother Okay, man with a blunder bus I also don't know how I'm going to get there one side.

Oh, what is my? There is a sphere on the other side. Oh, and then my help us. Okay. All right. Are you ready? Yep. All right.

Goggles on. Goggles on. That is so cute. I like the picture that you're in like a like Olympian running pose. Yes. Yes. Ready. Here comes Young Elias ready to make his daddy proud. Alright Moon Shion would like to you know what I'd like to do is I'd like to my chill touch

hand just have it hovering over the over the orb and just be like doing like however many fingers. Oh great you're like a game show contestant that's like ready to hit the buzzer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cool. So I chilled touch it, create that spectral hand, and then, pink. Cool. You turn it to red.

Air starts blowing up. Hard one jumps. Hard one takes a running jump. Trusts the gust. Ha, ha, ha. Flies through the air, lands on that platform. Gotta trust the gust. The sphere turns white.

Quick, hit it, hit it, hit it. Hard one, it begins blowing left. Two times, slap it. Oh, yeah, hit it. Oh wait, no, never mind, sorry. Hard one, what do you do? That's right, I go left. Cool, you jump.

Hard one, you jump left, you hit the platform, sphere turns blue. I, uh, pink, pink. You hit it twice? Yeah. Cool, turns red. Hard one. Trust the gas. You hit it twice? Yeah. Cool, turns red. Hard one. Trust the gust.

What do you do? Where are you going? I'm leaping forward to the middle guy. Hard one, you leap up. Trust the gust. You get to the middle platform on the left side. As soon as you hit the platform, sphere turns white.

Think, think, think. You hit it, okay, you hit it, think, think, think, think. You hit it, okay, you hit it, think, think, think, great. You get it to red. You begin blowing up again to the upper left corner. Trust the gusts. As soon as you hit the platform, it turns white. Three, two, hit it again, turns blue.

Hard one, you start to blow right. What do you do? I'm jumping towards the middle platform on this in the sky You jump to the middle platform and the sphere turns green You bank it hard one you successfully jump over to the air Next storm is for nice. I high five the chill hands. Oh, wow.

You take 78 damage. That was a crit. Okay, let's do that three more times. I won't make you guys see it. Once you guys have it cracked, you've figured it out. Okay, so what happens when he touches a sphere? Can I touch the sphere? Yes, so now you can touch the sphere.

Alright, great. So I'm going to touch, think, think, think. It's all over. Wait, oh, is that sphere lower down? That sphere is lower down. Okay, it's in the air temple. Nice. So he binks us across.

Think, think, think, think, think. Jake, could you bink them across? Or something? Okay, hi, is your over driver? Emily, give him your notes. I'm gonna see if Jake Okay, I want to try to make them I don't need the notes. I could bank it But it's really you can make it okay, it's gonna be the all right. I don't know it's too. I just hard one He won't meet a go or to somebody else want to go

Beverly will go okay come on young scout oh Okay hard one what do, so you just went? It was just red, but the gust of wind already went. Okay, so I'm gonna bink, bink, bink. Okay, so you white, blue, turns green. Bink. You bink it again, turns red blowing up I run out I trust the Gus Beverly runs out and trust the Gus does a big jump bed you land on the platform and the sphere turns white and begins blowing you left I trust the Gus again and jump left great you jump left you land on the platform Great, you jump left, you land on the platform. Sphere turns blue, hard one, what do you do?

Pink, pink, you... Wait, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, bink it to blue, Bev, you get over to the right once. Yep, I do like a cool aerial cartwheel. Nice, you land, it turns green. And I open my arms wide, bink it one more time with my new hat. Ha ha ha ha. You knock it with your head, you bink it over,

sphere turns red, and blows you up, Beverly. I say, coming in hot! Calu-calay, Bev. Calu-cal blows you up Beverly. I say, come in and hug! Calucalay, Beverly. Come in and hug! I'm now picturing like, I'm now picturing like an elemental of footwear brand that like looks like little Hercules sandals and it has two slogans,

either just bank it or trust the gust. Oh man, one on each, one on each slow. Yeah. All day I dream about banks So Bev is blown into hard ones waiting arms or you could say he was banked into hard ones waiting arms Is a bank made in Bevan? Oh Wow, hi stakes banks Those who scary bank in bank

Don't think now don't think bank. I I'm scared, Bankie Bank. Don't think now. Don't think, Bank. I knew that the platform changing the spear was gonna knock at least one person off of the mountain. Yup. Trelin'er. Okay, can we say that we?

Yes, so then the rest of you guys successfully get over. So you guys all, Bankie your way over. You all. And Pop-Op, Bank separately. I'd like to give him like a heroic moment. He falls off the mountain He falls 20 feet and dies. I'd be in him because I want him to I want him to know how it feels to be like a flying rodent He just he's the first as soon as the first gust picks him up

He just flies like a piece of trash in the air and just instantly first red sphere flies to the air temple on the other side Like a piece of trash in the air. I just instantly first red sphere flies to the air temple on the other side, like a thousand feet. We're here! So much more powerful than us. Welcome back to hard one in the face, this flying possum. I say, Papa, I know you've been jealous of the sugar gliders. We're here!

We're here! He crawls in your overalls and is shaking. Is this the call? They're the scary. We see a sugar-glotter at the end. Sugar-glotters are the only Crick animal that have the same name. Cool.

So you guys all land in the temple of air. It's some real soul caliber shit. Ooh. There are pillars holding up the roof, but it's essentially just a big floating marble platform. The wind is whipping all around you guys. There's this mini tornado in the middle of the room. Until suddenly, this tornado comes down and takes shape.

You see this air elemental Titan, who's only visible because her body looks to be a series of tiny cyclones and storms. There's little flashes of lightning all over her. She's wearing an Elvish looking black breastplate, very elegant with a black crown. And you hear a voice go, you are in the presence of the queen of air. You are in the presence of the queen of air Sorry, I can't hear you. Why are you whispering? Very funny. It is impolite not to bow Go ahead and make it toxterity saving throw Everybody that's getting flashbacks everybody make it toxterity saving throw. Okay. I got 21

21 can I with that? can I bow? Yeah. I want a bow, I like her. Cool, I don't want to, but I guess I have to, I rolled a 12. Yeah. Bev got a Nat 20. Nat 20, okay. The air basically pushes you guys down

to fall to your knees. Moonshine, Alex, to bow on her own. Bev, Cobb kind of catches the air for you and he falls down onto his knee. You're fine, you're just standing there. Hard one you do fall down to your knee. I look at the air. Jan? Hard one you can't keep off that knee today.

The only person I bow to is Bobbomb. I look at the queen and I say, your majesty, did you, too? I thought I felt like a little breeze or something. Oh, Cobb just goes, get her, you're trying to get blown off another fuck out platform. Whenever Bev is too high in the sky, he gets really spicy. Did you just suggest that I passed wind? It's only natural. We met your brother, he was kind of gassy. Maybe it runs in the family. This is how I passed wind!

And you suddenly see four tornadoes whip around all four of you guys. Everybody roll me a dexterity saving throw. Hi! Woo! That's an 18 for me. 16. Oh! 18! So you guys see four mini tornadoes come up around you guys.

You feel yourself about to be restrained, but all three of you break free, but you see Cobb held in this mini tornado that then hovers over the open sky and that's where we'll end our episode. No, a literal cliffhanger. Whoa, it's not that clever. It's not it. It's not a fun one. It was very fun. Oh, I'm sure people were here an expedited version of the, hey, puzzle-solving,

but obviously if you're on the Patreon patreon we're released the unedited That's a that's a nine hour podcast where we spent an a full hour just screaming at Murth Murth begging for the answer All you hear is just me talking mumbling off Mike and the in the crinkling of paper join us for our new podcast puzzle dollars once a month New podcast puzzle dollars once a month. There were eight spaces. Quietly do the Sunday New York Times for the password puzzle. That's what the water element is. I'm really stuck on this across. So guys, head on over to patreon.com slash NADD, POD, to hear the after show.

Don't sing yet. Guys, check out me and Emily's book. It's, hey you up, how to turn your booty call into your emergency contact. It's available on Amazon and on Audible. It's a satirical relationship advice book. Called, well, where can people watch Big City Greens? Oh, you can watch it on Disney or the Disney Now app

or Amazon or iTunes. And when this episode comes out, a new episode of mine will have aired on Wednesday it's called parade day it's a fun big city parades spectacular I had to draw a lot of buildings I love that they give you all the hardest ones yeah buildings and cars buildings and cars and parade floats also I think there's still a few tickets left to our live show in Seattle. Guys go to, they be true.

Guys go to headgum.com slash live and get tickets to our first ever show in Seattle. I may or may not have watched Frazier every single night in the past week because I'm getting hyped for Seattle. We're getting ready. There are going to be Frazier puzzles in the episode. I'm going to cosplay as Niles for that Go there go to our live show to catch Niles The rest of the band of boobs as we're known. Can I play Niles?

What if she wild shapes and then I'll say if she Niles shapes. Oh let her Niles Jesus Christ What if she wild shapes and then I'll see Niles shapes. Oh let her Nilesha Nilesha Jesus Christ Mirrors People are for their ticket people are returning tickets as we speak she won't Nileshape she won Nileshape Guys follow us tiny bird hands just couldn't support the weight of the bracelet so here you go Daphne that feels like it would be a line yeah whatever insider show okay guys follow us on Twitter at CH Murphy's me at jk her which is Jake at all this

called all and at eaxford is Emily we will and if you guys want to tweet about the show tweet about it using hashtag nad pod that's n-a-d-d-p-o-d We are we are youth of the nation! We are we are we are Alright everybody, it's the end of the show so we're gonna shout out our Budnavalent Council of Elders Oh Laura heaps her praises on you. I'm gonna start it off with,

Matthew M. The Bullywug Prince, doesn't floss, but his dentist doesn't notice. Ooh. Doesn't need to floss. That's a deception check, brother. He's flossing. Joe N. The lover of Lucy. Joe and Lucy are true romantics of Bohumia. once went on a moonlight stroll in the evil Crick fog

They haven't come back, but we're hoping for the best. Oh They're probably just necking in there. That's true Brad D the only pebble pot that isn't Craven He's currently in moonstone tracking down a senior tour group that Denny lost to a troll in the swamp. Sorry, I didn't get to say snog in the fog. Go on. Ha ha ha ha. Also a rock in the swamp.

Ooh, for Brad D. Jay Loma, 72, A.K.A. Steelbreaker, hard one's Jim Rival who once outlifted him on the lat pull down. I did not edit this council of elders and I don't approve of that. The hard one's still going to beat on like the core lifts, you know, like deadlift. All right, cool. No, that's fair. That's that pull down. He's got a better back. I'm sorry. I'll give it to a lot of awesome. Yeah, Andrew a K a failed spar lie garden the half-elf as a half-elf Andrew likes to spend fall and go later on but summers at the creek

Polly to the creek that's when all the brown leaves come out to get so hot. Yeah, it is it is muggy at the career You get mug by bugs Taylor pop off the sixth Oh yeah, you get mugged by bugs. Taylor Pappa the sixth, a legendary bard to whom no item isn't an instrument, that includes Noma bones. Yeah, fuck him up. He's a band of boobs favorite musician. Yeah.

Blood songs. Dylan B, a super weak wizard who wields 12 swords. One of the swords is controlled telepathically and would honestly be pretty impressive if he weren't so bad with the other 11. I love the game of telephone that's going on with Dylan B. Yeah, they were not always a weak wizard. I like that you have a wizard who like it just insists on having swords. words. Simon W. The bootleg of hard one, soft loss. He's got thin calves and skinny arms, but he did not doom his mom's soul.

They play bingo every Tuesday. Oh, what I wouldn't give. Danny P. Bohumi is resident artist, painted hard one senior portrait at the doorfinage. Hard one was allowed to bring a prop that reflected his personality and he just brought a big rock oh how relevant that is now Tom P father of the realm a serenader of sleeping babies could probably win back the allo with a stern full-house style dad talk but she's always flying around in the clouds I love love that. A little acoustic guitar.

Yeah, a little music. I think you could get her back. Let's go for the best. Spencer Caskbrew, patron elder of libations, ale maker to gods and heroes of Bahumia alike, produces a malt beverage called Galator on ice, which a Gwayne used to sneak into parties. The Gwayne's so cool into parties. The quid's so cool. Yeah, she's awesome. So, she's dope.

Pedro E, a bar of the mountains, whose tunes are always playing in the noise-cancelling earbuds of the rock elemental Titan while he bangs on his throne. In perfect time. All right, next up we got Griffin SD, aka the stranger, the silver dragonborn Eldritch Knight, and owner of the Badger's pint in Intavirn. They invented the concept of half price apps at half of your life. Oh my god. Now that is a fucking alter.

I would bend as many knees as I have. That's free Applebee's. That's nuts. Oh. Yeah. I love a half price app. So as much as you like Frazier. Oh God, I'm painting a terrible picture of who I am.

I mean, it's accurate, but it's terrible. Danielle, the dastardly gnome, Goldsmith of the Realm, was the real-life inspiration for Mike Myers-Hit character Goldmember in the film Austin Powers in Goldmember. Wow, I did not know that. You see, aka, Haldor Frostback, MVP of the Giant Wars. Crude on the SS Stormbormen fought alongside Elias and Red. A barbarian warrior from the frigid north, slept naked in the crow's nest because everywhere else on the ship was too stuffy.

I'm just picturing a little flaccid penis just like just leading in the wind. Just blowing, no. You're just leasing the wind. Like a flag. That's how you know it's direction, the wind's coming from. You hear skin flapping all night. That's the origin of win socks. You put a sock on your penis.

Mani the mundane, accidental deity who got in the way of a lichest spell to reach divinity. Whenever you burp and think you're gonna throw up, but don't, that's Manny the Mundein watching over you. Wow. Thank you, Manny. I happen to be this morning, but I have a lot of near-barks. Manny's got your back, and specifically your intestine and esophagus. Daniel Yu, aka Multifor, owner of a sweet, sentient boat

that sounds like Gilbert Gottfried. Before they owned that boat though, they owned an enchanted seedoo that sounded exactly like Joe Pesci. I don't even know if it's an upgrade. Hey, I'm a seedoo. I love that. That's awful.

I love that. Can that be the next character that we meet? I have a fucking seedoo. We think it's funny. You like that I spray around the water? You think? You think? What are you laughing about that?

I spray water? Jordan DJ, legendary DJ of the realm. They were a giant bullie-wug mask when they perform on stage and shake it fervently to get people excited while the beat waits to drop. Ooh, I would go. I would go. A dead mouse

Dead Wug Dead Wug Jeffrey S. Lord of the Fjord. Horde of Gords and Fjorder of Mortar Wow on a mystical quest to fit all their nicknames under one business card. Got a print that on an a5 pal A5 pal. Yeah, here we go. Over sized. Lord of the Fjord, we believe in you. Xavier C, a terrifying mercreacher who lures sailors away from their ship by promising to play Mario Party with them.

They do infact play Mario Party, but Xavier makes the sailors use the shitty mad cats controller. So I'm still pretty wicked. I like how certain ones we just keep around because we like them. Yeah. We also like saying mercreacher, keep around because we like them. Yeah, we also like saying Mercury or so it's just canon now Cutter w a high-elf dandy termed crick stupideck Revolutionized crick interior designed by introducing them to concepts like plumbing gas stoves and carpeting or as the Crick folk call it fancy dirt and carpeting, or as the Crick folk call it, fancy dirt. Ooh, this is the kind of dirt.

That good, that good, that good, you got that good dirt on your floor? So soft. Malara, you think you're special? Lex S, the owner of the Lexus Nexus, an all-knowing orb that will answer any question and also loves getting pranked. Honestly, the messier, the better.

Lexus Nexus, like the pre-wicked idiot, that was for libraries. getting pranked. Honestly, the messier, the better. Let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's. How's Moonshot? Moonshot. John S. AKA, Shubrit the Mushroom. We actually met the one-up mushroom from Mario, but apparently they're kind of a dick in real life. Ah, devastating. I thought I'd meet your heroes. He would be. Yeah, don't meet your heroes. Kill your idols.

Kill your idols and don't meet your heroes. James B. A legendary tour guide who resides in the elemental chill. A plane of existence where elemental titans go to just find themselves. The only person who knows how to properly massage the earth titan. You have to get in there deep. Can pick those scarabes out of his toes. You.

And let us not forget Ryan M, a ripped elf who trained old Cobb helping him attain that vicious V. No Ryan M is who we have to think for the vicious V. Cobb's vicious V. Was it all to Ryan M. Thank M for V. Thank M for V. Elena C. She owns a sick, tricked out mine cart that has spinning rims as well as drills and dice in the mirror. Nice. Can I get a ride?

If anything, I knew that cart was rare. A fresh princess of Iron Deep. Andrew M. set the record for most consecutive hours in a time-out bag down at the creek, and you know what, he had the time of his life. Is a fun time in there. Get kisses. You don't know who you're kissing. And beard man Dan, the proud owner of a beard so luscious

that a young mama once called it home. Wow. Wow, pre-awakening, wow. That's fancy living. Nice curling up in a good beard. You know, you got to do it every once in a while. You just got it. Scott D. He was actually the guy piloting the hot air balloon that Bev's uncle fell out

of. Scott D. was the guy that told him not to goof, but he just wouldn't listen. That's to go. He fell out of the dank basket. He flipped out of the dank balloon. They used to call us the Toh Goofs. Aaron C is a... is a... is an undertaker down... down in Moonstone and he threw Josh an amazing funeral that he did not deserve.

Spent a lot of money on catering and no one showed up because he... he did kill his family. He did kill his family. Hermes W. The Bat King, Bahumia has a bat signal just for him, but it's more of a stick bat type of thing, so as to not be sued for copyright and copyright. Oh, yeah, yeah, good call, good call. Yeah, first Wayne is rich. He's rich and real in this universe. T. Alex, T. Alex L. performed an outstanding devil sticks routine at the inaugural green teen, Jamberine.

Oh, routine at the green team. Jamberine, devil sticks are friggin awesome. It sucks that we don't just all sit around using them all the time. I'm more of a big deal. I'm more of a big deal. I'm more of a Fuji guy. Harley S. He is the teacher who taught Papa how to write. No!

Thank you, Harley S. It's helping moonshine navigate this crazy world. It's so nice that moonshine can communicate through Papa. Dream team. Parker E. A legendary hero of another realm who is about to kill the coward- the coward balanore on the peel of the battle when he suddenly disappeared. Balino was about to slaughter some innocent elves. Balino was standing trial for his crimes. He was about to be murdered for his transgressions against humanity.

Oh my God, Valder isn't escaped war criminal. He killed some, he killed some mischievous kids that had stolen a magic spell book because this is duty. Kyle McQ, a master chef who discovered the tastiest part of the crawfish, the brown part. Ooh, and that's where he opened McQuaddle. Everyone loves sucking out the brown stuff.

Sweet, sweet brown. It comes with McQuaddle's fresh brown. And RJW is the stealthiest crook in all of Galatoron, a crook who regularly steals Nanna Keinleep's worthers. So fresh, child. You gotta have fresh vingues to do that. Ron, a croque who regularly steals Nana Kineleef's worthers. Such a fresh charm. You've got to have fresh vingues to do that. And of course, moving on, we must celebrate Adam R. Inventor of the Arcade Classic Bullywagger, where you play a bully

walk who's trying to cross the creek without getting hit by a croque. Right, our kick classic. There's only one level. Yeah, there's only one level. Next up, Brent B. Todd Alonus Magic, as we said, not wizard magic, though, magic with a CK. So essentially, Todd, her how to read tarot cards and open an incense shop. Oh, wow.

Then of course, we got Cassandra MHP, the first fighter to ever cleave. It's weird. No one ever even thought of it before, Cassandra and H.P. did, but once she did it, everyone just couldn't get enough of it. You just keep swinging the weapon, that's it. Yeah. Then of course we got Matt C, aka Mattie Big Crits,

aka Matthias of House Crit, the savior of Hardwan and Old Cobb, who remarkably doesn't even know hardwons in name. He saved his life and he could have picked him out of a crowd. Wow, I'll never forget him. I think they may have shook hands, but whether or not Matt, Mattie Bigcrets remembers hardwant to be able to win. I think Mattie Bigcrets would like turn around if you saw hardwant waving at him.

Well hardwant is the guy that took 10 of his friends to go get slaughtered by Ulfkar so maybe he'll be here. Well, Maddie Big Crits showed up late so all he did was see hard one get his ass kicked and then wake up in a bonk. Yeah, he watched, he mostly watched hard one sleep. And then of course we got Ricky, tricky, Ricky of the tricky and extreme sports elf who loves doing sticky, icky, bong rips and the slickest, sickest kick flips on their ripstick.

Oh, dude, not a skateboard, but a ripstick. I know. I know. I can't analyze it. They were a little bit popular like 15 years ago. It's those skateboards that have like two sides that go in different directions. It's those skateboards that have like two sides that go in different directions. It's the skateboards that are harder and you can't do tricks with them. Oh yeah, those are dumb.

Unless you're Ricky Tricky of the Crick. E. Okay, and you are. Owns the only rest stop in the elemental chaos. They will fleece you for a bottle of water, but it's the only water that doesn't have an elemental chitin in it. You know, you paid and not die. Yeah.

And then of course cannibalistic, could through a terrifying deity of reckoning and remorse who also operates an Etsy shop that makes super manly mithril wedding bands. Well, I'm in the market for you. I love a thick wedding band. Michael McD, head mixologist at the Blue Man Inn. They invented the novelty shot Quick Rock, which is just

Quick Water Squid Inc. and a pretty heavy dose of antibiotics. Are you pretty insensitive? Sort of the Irish Car Bomb during the opening. Oh yeah, it's a real rude. Everyone know everyone in asri is just like fuck them right uh... then of course blitzbring Dimitri the famous dorgor who owns and runs the beloved franchise dorgor's big burger which has Which has several secret menu items pro tip order their men's style. The fries are covered in gum. They're covered in gum. God. The entire team, former gulp men who, after careful introspection, discovered a deep joy

for the finer things in life and became a goat gentleman. No longer begs for death. Oh, that's good turning it around yeah Henry a recently spotted on a baseball stadium jumbo tron with Juan the automaton in Galatoron I like the rhymes one also is a rift stick and of course Penfield the youngest healer in Galatoron, the dukey house of clerics, performed their first greater restoration at the age of four and kept a daily steam-powered journal of their adventures. Very cool.

Oh, dope. A steam-powered journal? Yeah, well, I was trying to think of one of the equivalent of a computer. Oh, I forgot, yeah, I forgot how doogie house are worked You don't remember doogie. I remember doogie now teach me how to doogie I remember Lex's next is way better remember doogie yeah, right And finally mcpux the code master the digital hero who is timelessly coding our website a wizard of the web a

Sorcerer of source code a necromancer of the net and a warlock who does a real tight blood oath Oh, yeah, not wiggle your way out of that hell yeah, thank you, Mick Puxen Thank you to all of our benevolent counsel of elders. Thank you to our listeners Thank you to our patreon subscribers head on over to the Patreon now to listen to our after show. And after that, we'll catch you next week with another episode. Thanks a lot, guys. Later.

Bye. That was a Hate-Gum podcast.