Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 24: Queen of the Sky (Tales From the Crick)

Episode Date: July 19, 2018

Beverly has insulted yet another god and it's time to fight! The Band of Boobs continue their adventure in the elemental chaos and challenge the Air Titan. Moonshine refuses to swallow her pride, Hardwon gets Death-Eatered, and Bev takes on yet another servant. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music/Sound Effects include:"The Titan of Air" by Emily Axford."Sumpin's Asunder Down Under" by Emily Axford. "Baptised" by Emily Axford."Steed of the Sea" by Emily Axford."Cetacean Farewell" by Emily Axford."Into the Flame" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Behumya, everyone. Buh. Behumya. Oh, I'm so desperate I would do that one again. You guys have gone in the habit of interrupting me during my introduction, and I am furious, and I am also Brian Murphy, your dungeon master,

joined by Jake Herwetz. Hard one, Sherfoot. Emily Axford. Moon Chine, Sabin, benefactors of banks. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, you'll remember the famous banks from last week. You ended out on my banks.

I swear to my Laura, I'm going to pants you in your sleep. And called Walter. Beverly Toggle, the fifth, the killer of Cobb. Oh, no. He might be okay, right? It's probably fun. It's just probably fun. He's just being dangled above a huge drop.

Cool, so let's do a recap, guys. Last week, you guys were adventuring in the elemental chaos and untamed world ruled by four elemental titans. You defeated the Earth elemental and hard one became the champion of Earth, upping his AC and his Constitution. The Titan then helped you guys reach the sky

by commanding the Earth beneath you to grow into a mountain champion of Earth. That was so, oh yeah, champion of Earth. Fucking dope. That's a great title. I remember that one. Put it on the ledger. It doesn't have the alliteration. It's fine.

It doesn't need it. It's pretty cool. You guys found yourself at the peak of this mountain then solved a floating platform puzzle. Nailed it. So easy. Nailed it. Blades through its speedrun. Just a freaking tight 25 minutes. Awesome games done quick. Yeah, I just put a little music on it and I just cut right to you guys hopping across. You better not to cut a bank.

I swear. You guys binked the sphere and you made it across the platform puzzle and then landed in the temple of the sky. Once there Beverly insulted the elemental Titan of air as his nature. I know what! I mean, you gave him high enough altitude and that young and misbehaves. I learned it from my dad, okay? You know what?

You're like a child on an airplane. Yeah. Which caused an arucous every time we get high. Which dad, by the way? My strong new dad, no you. The elemental Titan promptly swept up old cob with a mini tornado. And that's where we are right now. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I don't know if it's still everyone real initiative. Starting to think that I shouldn't emulate hard one ever. I approached that last god and I asked for his help, okay? That's true.

I think domination had to be in our game plan, so I support you. It was a little harsher in my approach. A little more direct. 18. 19. 23. Okay, hard one you act first. You see, Olkov is dangling precariously.

He's trying to, he's restrained. He's trying to use his hand to grab a pillar, but he is being kind of like flung back. He's kind of right now the only thing keeping him from falling down is this little mini tornado that he's caught up in. I'll grab him. Okay, so you can use an action to grab him.

Go ahead and give me a strength check or an athletic strike. 26. 26. Grab him. Okay, so you can use an action to grab him go ahead and give me a strength check or an athletic check 26 26 You reach into the wind and you grab old cob by the collar and you pull him in like a rowdy crick young and come here You pull all cob right in. Oh, thanks man. It was looking ugly there for a second. I'm sorry I'll cob I was trying to keep it light. Hey, I love keeping it light, you know, wasn't a bad joke, right, God? We might want to stay heavy in the air though, am I right? Oh, that's good.

You ain't even got it. Even the face of the... Shut up! You're in the presence of royalty! Try not to be blown away! And she raises her hands. Hey, she's like a bad man though. Giant gust of wind blows at you guys.

Give me a strength saving throw. Hard to keep it lighter than the queen of air. Don't forget that plus four baby. 23. You're in my greasy aura. Shout out to the two crew, but that's gonna be it. Hard one feels like he's developing a neck pin. Seven.

Seven. Okay, all those are bad. I smell like an anian. So what did they call them? Those are the pretzel. Yeah, the pretzel. Oh, a w pretzel? Oh, yeah, what did you got a 15 15 you passed so hard one and Bev you guys are able to Brace yourselves probably using the power of friendship Like kind of holding on to each other. Yeah, really being good buds. Let me know But the two elves moonsh Shine and Ol' Cobb,

you guys are knocked prone by the wind. You're knocked over by this wind, and you're being held down by air, and you are restrained until the end of your next turn. So you're kind of a rarotic. That is Bev's turn. I'm gonna cast Moon Beam, okay. Ooh.

Let me describe it. A silvery beam of pale light shines down in a 5-foot radius, a 40-foot high cylinder. Sit on on a point within range until the spell ends, dim light fills the cylinder. When a creature enters the spell's area for the first time, on a turn, or starts its turn there, it is engulfed in ghostly flames that cause searing pain, and it must make a constitution saving throw. It takes two D10 radiant damage on a failed save or half as much damage on a successful one. Okay, so it'll affect her on her turn. So you basically make a moon beam that is gonna occupy her space. Uh-huh, and I want

to tweak the flavor. So as opposed to it coming down, it extends for me as I thrust. Okay, so like a Care Bear Stair? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, you Care Bear Stair her. It hits her and then the Moonbeam assembles normally. Exactly, it like loops back around. Green team beam, that's what it is. Green team beam.

Green team beam. You have to gyrate your hips so much when you do it. You Care Bear Stair and it's just- Gotta make you want to scream air elemental. Moonshine that is your turn. You are restrained. Can I cast this bell from prone? No, you can't. Really? I'm so relaxed. I feel like I'm good.

You're knocked prone and stunned. So you can't do anything. You're incapacitated. Can I gather some intel? What? You're incapacitated. What do you want to do? I just want to know she's fine. Yeah, she's like what? She's hovering.

Okay. This is terrible radio. Okay, so what is the arrow elementals turn? It starts in your moon beam. What does it have to do? It must make a constitution saving throw takes two, D10 radiant damage on a failed save, or half as much on a successful one.

Uh, 12, so she fails. Hooray! She takes the full green teen beam. Oh, wow. Love that. No one can handle this. Please, start the green teen beam. Little faces of children in this beam.

What's this? Tee hee hee hee hee. She's being bitten by little green teens. I'm proud and I can't see it. I'm like, is that dirty gnomes? Friends, witness her squeam as she takes the full brunt of the beam. Stop with the hips, guys. I can't see it, I hate it. It's a good beam. How long does the beam last for?

Uh, one minute I believe. Yeah. Okay, so it's gonna keep being there, right? Yeah, the beam remains. So she's gonna go fly in over at you, Beverly. Bring it and she's going to swing her flail. Bring it and she is going to swing her flail. She's gonna flail with her flail and misses Takes a second flail attack and misses takes a third flail attack Okay, so Bev she hits you with her last flail strike and does Five damage on the hit and then there is an explosion of lightning from her attack and that is gonna do an extra 18 damage. So that's 23 total. 23! That is back around to you, hard one. Okay, I'll swing it or with my magic axe. 18. 18 just hits.

Ooh. I'm wearing armor even though I'm the air. Very sexy. I can't quite hear you I'm the air. Very sexy. I can't quite hear you, so you just have to speak up. This is I'm the wind, I speak like the wind. That's a damage. Okay. You know, my parents made me take an unceasing lessons when I was a kid. God, you're such a little prick.

20 to hit. 20 hits. 14 damage. 14 damage, dang! And I'm gonna take my second, I'm gonna use my action search. Do it out. That's what I'm gonna do. 21, that hits.

You know I naturally do three attacks. 13. 13 damage. Ow! Not 20, baby. Oh, stop killing my guys. Forest is wet tonight. Not 20, baby My guys I couldn't hear you would you say With a beam coming 29 Jesus she's so hurt

Jesus! She's so hurt. Ow! This is going faster than I thought it might. Your brother told us you kind of sucked, but I honestly didn't believe him. My brother said that! Yeah, yeah. He said you sucked, but I know you made some fun jokes. You're keeping it light. I like your style. Yeah! Your style is cool. Your style, I mean, you got all your surrounded by this really well-behaved rock.

I don't know what you call it. So smooth. She points to moonshine. Okay, I like you a little bit more than these two. And she uses her layer action. You see some of the marble around her crumbles and floats up into the air. And she shoots debris at you too. I need you guys to make a dexterity statement. Oh cool. You copied that from your brother. I did it, I invented it. That's like a second. I'm blowing it on the wind.

I have a 23. A 23, Jesus. We still are getting called walls plus four was it? Or three? You can matric style just bullet time. Oh, sick. And all the way back as this debris flies over you. Oh shit, next pain.

Although you take half damage. And all the way back is this debris flies over you. Oh shit, next pain. Although you take half damage. So you do this beautiful back bend as these rocks fly over you, but some of them do hit you in the leg. What, I'm pretty flexible. Can't get the quads out of the way of everything. You do a beautiful quaddon.

You're so big, man. Thanks, God. What did you get oh? That's 14 plus my plus four for cool or yeah, you guys both past you just take half of 18 which is nine So you guys take nine damage and then that is your turn Bev all right By some of my pebbles oh Don't call them pebbles. Oh, I like that they're pebbles. No, it really hurt us.

I'm so ol' spouty. Oh no. Oh, you're more finesseful. Yeah, we, my savage brother uses stone, but I use pebbles. Yeah, I enjoyed the gust of wind that came with it. That was very refreshing I'm going to branding smite or I'm gonna strike her and then try and do a branding smile. Cool. Go ahead That's a 17 plus eight. I imagine that'll hit that'll hit

12 on the first one can and then I'm just branding smite work. Sorry. Okay, the attack deals an extra 2D6 radiant damage to the target. Okay, yeah, the target sheds dim light in a five foot radius and can't become invisible until the spell ends. They weren't invisible, but now they're all lit up. Cool. But also branding smites,

does that mean that you give them like a little branded tattoo? Yeah, I think so, probably. Maybe on their armor. What about like a tram stamp? I give them a tram stamp. I give them a green teen tram stamp. What is this a henna tattoo? Yeah, it looks really good. I actually really like it. You still like her style. I go to a duty section. The way she wears it. I'm saying that they're, they're due exist trape stamps that kind of work. Hard one moles this over.

Just a beautiful, runic tramp stamp emerges. That's a six extra damage. Six extra damage, okay. Then I'll just do a straight up slice. Okay, good. But I do want to spin myself around like a tornado kind of to mock her, but kind of to like show her that she's got some moves. Cool. Like we're kind of doing like a tornado kind of to mock her, but kind of to like show her that she's got some moves. Cool.

Like we're kind of doing like a duet. Oh, that's a two. But I activated my that last that you did that yesterday. Oh, no, can we say that I did it already? No. No. Shout out to the two crew. All right, well, I guess I shake my fist in disappointment.

And then I activate my wetstone. You need to do that as like an action. Okay, cool. It's best to do like right before battle. It would have been. Yes. All right. Cool. I missed. Yeah, maybe next time you're sassing gods, you're activating your wetstone. She's a tight you. Yeah. No, no, it's your. I like it. That is Moonshine's turn. All right, I will cast protection from energy on young Bev. Ooh. And he's protected. He has resistance to lightning.

Am I just covered in rubber now? No, you're good. I think he's sparking in light like lightning. Oh, wow. And also, he has a brand new pair of shoes on with rubber soles. Ha, ha, ha. They magically appear around his feet. That is the elemental who is going to roll to see if she gets her little entrance back. And she does. So she takes a swing

and misses with her flail. She flails again with her flail and is going to hit good verb for nine damage. Just to be clear, I'm assuming that she doesn't take poison damage, right? None of these are mental. Right. Okay. Okay. So she does nine damage and then she's going to use her lightning thing. Good thing that you have resistance to lightning right now. You only take half a half. That is 11, 21, so another 10. To me, 10 damage to you. Okay. Do I slurp up some of the lightning like Spaghetti? Yeah, that's what shocks you. No, no, no, no, no, no.

That's why you take half damage. Don't eat it. Looks good. And then she takes her last attack. I love your blue Spaghetti. Thank you so much, your majesty. Hey, no problem, I just crit, dickhead. Oh, shit.

So now she's gonna do 15 damage on the crit. Okay. How are you looking? Hold on. Wait, but if you get damage, then you know, Moonshine, I don't know what to do next turn. Ah, yeah, I'm giving you a new purpose. Moonshine, I have four HP.

I stack the wrong spells. Oh, happens to the best of us. That is. He know what it does. Cobbs turn. Cobb is just gonna shoot. I need to get myself a magic weapon. Baby Cobb come on. He does hit. He hits for half damage but he's gonna use his D10 to do a little bit more. So he hits her for a total of seven and she's looking quite messed up for as as messed up as air

Can look yeah looking a little inconsistent she feels a little breezy as she's swinging on you Bev That's back up to hard one hey Here we go Not too But I'm gonna I'm gonna get lucky use another luck point okay back in here Fuck my dumb little shit that's Crud on my ass My ass that's 13 13 is not hit. Yeah, you somehow managed to hit her armor

I'm just wearing a little breastplate. Bink. How did you meet me? You binked me? She's wearing like the hottest, tiny female armor. Is that like a bikini? Yeah. Your armor reveals your tramp stamp. That's actually super sexy. It's a butterfly made of leaves. That's 26.

26 heads. Ooh, that sounds kind of good. Yeah. Yes. 18 damage. Jeez. She super hurts. So once again, she holds up her hands and goes,

up you're you're in the present so for royalty, prepare to be blown away! Makes the same joke. And those are you guys. Go ahead and give me a strength saving throw. Ooh, that's a 19. This is bad. You find, you find, Bev, plus four everybody. Oh, shit, 21 then. Eight. Cool. Old Cobb and Moonshine, once again, pressed down by air. You guys are paralyzed on the ground for a turn. I'm so sorry, Bev, I was going to try and take you to the cure world. That's not a real sounded real nice. That is your turn. I'm going to use my Amulet, and I'll use three hit dice. Cool. And I do still have an action, OK?

And for my action, I would like to attack the queen. I got it. I got it. Yeah, thank you for referring to me by my title. Absolutely. Your play rate is respectful up to this point. Ha ha ha ha ha Thought you know, thank you for referring to me by my title absolutely Disrespectful up to this point. I would like to know more about how you achieve this rank are your sisters is your sister also a queen She calls herself a queen, but she's the queen of the sea. It's just a lot cares about the water, right? Okay, so what is lame when you could be up in the air? So it's like a neighboring kingdom situation

Okay, uh 17 does that hit that does not hit you manage to bink You have bink a bad bank. I didn't know there are bad Bad bank was a dink That's gonna hit 17 plus eight 17 plus eight hits. Yeah, can I divine smite? Yeah, okay? Why not a bonus action or anything? It's just you get to expend a spell slot. I'm gonna do it. Yeah, I'm gonna do. Can I divine smite? Yeah. Okay. Why not? This is not a bonus action or anything. It's just you get to expend a spell slot, right? I'm gonna do it.

Yeah. I'm gonna do a first level divine smite. Cool. That's 2-D-A. Cool. So do your damage and then add your smite. Okay. So that's gonna be 12 normal damage and then 2-D-A.

13. So 12 plus 13. So 25. Yeah. 25 damage. But I really finish her. Oh, good. I get up real close to her. I shoved my sword inside,

and then I put my hands together like I'm spinning a stick to a starter fire to get the sword just spinning around inside her, like I've put a knife in a blender. Ah! Oh! And I say, Savage!

You imagine the, let's try and keep it light She whisper screams You see these like tiny explosions happening in the air. You could tell something epic is happening, but it's mostly invisible as her breastplate just kind of... It's a little more visible because she's glowing. You see her breastplate begins to dent in on itself, like cave in on itself, and then scatters on the wind.

Everyone gets hit with a shard, shard, the damage. Shard, the breastplate. Shit, I got ticked. So is there like a little wind ghost left over? There's a little bit of wind. Do you guys feel the lightest breeze? A gale or a breeze? It's a nice breeze.

Hey, sorry we had to do you dirty like that. Yeah, I mean, I kind of like your vibe, but you kind of kept me like in plank position the entire time and I feel like that was a cowardly on your part. I mean it was just hard yoga class. My powers to the best of their abilities. Understandable. Well fought, well fought madam. Hey thank you. What's your name by the way? Do you have names other than just elements of wind? I am the queen of the air. Can I call you Gail?

In of the sky. You can call me Gail. Okay, Gail is a good name. I am the queen of the air. Can I call you Gail? The Gail of the sky. You can call me Gail. Okay, Gail is a good name. I'm nice. Yeah. Titan of the sky. Gail. Gail. What's your brother's name? We met that big chunky guy down there. Yes, the Titan of Earth, the salt and of stony, is a bunch of stupid names. Can we call him Keith? You can call him whenever you can call him Dickhead.

I don't like him. Or we could call him Shale. Oh, it's like Ross and a Ryze of Gail. I'm Sh like him. Or we could call him Shale. Oh, it's like Rosh and a Rhymes of Gale. I'm Shale, Gael and Shale. Rather, I didn't have a rhyming game with him. Gael and Shale, it is. Okay, well, you have claimed victory in the sky. Who will be my champion and gain my blessing to be quick and graceful as the wind itself.

And you guys feel like a little flitter of wind pick up beneath your boots. Hard one shakes as his beard brids and goose bumps. As she blows into hard one, except for this guy, he's already claimed my brother and he's a douche. Not a dude just want to feel the breeze in my beard. I got to say my integrity is going to get in the way of my desires.

I originally assumed that I would want to claim this temple, but I spent that entire fight on the ground and I cannot claim this. I just don't think that you should let your pride get in the way because you spent so much time on the ground. My pride's definitely gonna get in the way. This is not, I mean, Cobb can have it. Anyone else can have it. I don't think I could sleep at night if I claim myself as a champion of that. Well, you actually only have to trance at night.

I don't know. I heard one of these are all great points and I get it, but I, you know, I would like to go around bragging whenever I'm the champion of something and I just can't do that here. That's fair. So, Bev, if you want it's all yours, if not, maybe Cobb takes it.

Well, Cobb, the argument I would make for you is that you two fight with a gun and guns rely on air for, sure yeah, bullet travel. It's cool, then you guys want to take it. I'll hold up Papa Lion King style and I say take him oh cop goes oh you sure hard one pushes the boss up back down into Moonshack's breath it's really hard I resist it's so hard to the point where my arms are quivering Papa bends the knee.

I say that old Cobb should have it. I turned old Cobb. You should have it. I feel bad for almost getting you killed back there. So you know what, you take this and maybe you'll be a little lighter on your feet. Hey, that's cool me, brother. All right.

So you guys see the wind begin to pick up around old Cobb. And he begins to levitate He's essentially in the eye of this tiny storm as a tornado forms Causing his hair to blow straight up. There's a mighty sound of thunder as lightning courses through his entire body He opens his mouth to let out like a scream But ends up just devouring the entire tornado as a storm erages inside of him. I want that.

I'm glad I didn't tell that. Briefly, Ol' Cobb looks transparent and you can only catch his form on the wind but he quickly turns back to normal and the storm settles and Ol' Cobb goes, oh man, I feel love, I feel good. You see, he starts like hopping around. Yeah, and Ol' Cobb gets plus one to Dex and plus Ted to his speed. Oh man, look at that old grandpa move.

Hey, look at me, look at me. He starts hopping around, running around. Damn, that would have taken my dex to full. Oh, it hurts. Ol' Cobb break it down. Yeah, Ol' Cobb starts break dancing. And you hear the wind go, yes, well, my champion. This is, oh, all right, well, do not summon me

to give you my full power until your situation is dire. But for now, I will lend you the power to fly so that you may all reach my sister in the water or my brother in the flame. And you guys begin floating. You guys can all fly now. Wow. Forever.

No. No. No. Forever. Why never? Because I just control the air here. So. That would have been brutal if Ol' Cobb got flight.

He was just like, he is infused with a power of flight. I feel so funny. And I just like turned it down, those two proud. Ol' Cobb did a way worse than this fight. I mean, just as bad in this fight as you did. Yeah, but I mean, he can sacrifice his integrity. I don't know if I can. Where should we fly to?

Yeah, so you guys are now floating in the sky. Do we want to take a quick nap or maybe rest a bit? Can we? Can we rest in the air? Can we do an aerial camp out? Oh, you want to, oh, you guys want to like stay over? We do want to continue flying though. I mean, I command the air, so I suppose I would be powerful enough to give you the power of flight tomorrow.

Are you just not ready to have house guests? Is that what I'm doing? I did throw debris at you, so let me, you just see a little dust pan. Aw, I'm going around. Gail, here's what I would like. It's all too anything special for us. We're easy. We're low maintenance Gail. Gail can't wait to insist. Honestly, we're easy. We're low maintenance, Gale. Gale, can you wait for me? Yeah. Honestly, I'll use the dirtiest linen in your closet. This is basically just a sole caliber stage,

just a platform. Are you guys okay with sleeping on marble? Well, how about this Gale? Is that what you call this polite rock? Excuse me. It's so well-behaved, it's so smooth. Oh, there, yes, marble. Marble.

Oh, I don't know if someone has the hospitality. I'm writing marble down. Or rather, I'm on the 22nd floor. I just call this Shiny Rose. Gil, could we maybe enlist your power to have a tornado bed for the evening? Absolutely. Yeah.

I'm probably just going to sleep not spinning. Bev, you instantly bomb it as you are spun furiously around. I just a bit more if I could like levitate while I sleep. Yeah, you can levitate while you sleep. You feel like a little bed of air. Like a air hammock. All right, I train you. Oh, I want to hold up my flute to the air elemental.

Oh. Oh. the air elemental. Oh! Do-do-do-do, show me your lower back. You still got that little stamp. Yeah, I liked it so I decided to keep it. Looks good. I'm actually just the wind right now, so you just see a floating tattoo in the air. But she does reform by the morning. Okay. All right, let's go for a swim. I am the queen of air again You must defeat me just kidding just playing y'all. Oh, yeah, oh, sorry. You're a fun aunt Do we want to go to fire because I have a chance to stock and maybe we won't get a chance to stock before the other one Well, if you go into a live volcano, you might just melt

That is true. I hadn't considered that. Cool, so your advice is water. It's totally up to you. You are my house guests, but I honestly have to leave here. I don't really care if you die. So let's go to the water. Yeah, water it is.

While we're departing, let's go ahead and say that I activate my wetstone. Okay, cool. So then, it's not, so the wetstone just rubbed off on your sword. So your sword is now magical. So your sword, you can just ignite it, close green, and for the next hour, you're able to reroll twos. Sweet, you should do that as we're flying. They'll look really cool.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you guys, as soon as you wake up in the morning, you begin floating again. I control the air, so just kind of, I can just kind of do it whenever I want. We don't need to like think positive thoughts or anything. Yes, you have to believe in yourself. I too.

I really shit myself. I don't know about that. We had a lot of crawfish before we came in here. We fly out to the ocean. Yeah, it's fly. Do we fly us to your ship? Can we hover over the ocean? You know how when helicopters hover over the ocean,

they make the water, like part beneath them a little bit? We do like a rooster tail. What's that mean? That's where you throw up a bunch of water behind you. Yeah, we want to do that. Yeah, like some fucking seedews. You guys fly down from the temple of air, down to the ocean, and you guys are hovering over the water.

Helicopter style, making water, kick up everywhere. Yeah, good. But it is this raging storm. You see giant waves, but no sign of life. Do we need to do a perception check? Do we see any castles or temples? You guys do not see any temples or castles up here. Fine, I'll turn into a reef shark. Okay, absolutely do that.

So I'm going to turn into a reef shark, but before I do that, I'm gonna cast water breathing on all of us. Okay, what is... Water breathing is a third level spell. It requires the material of a short read or a piece of straw. I'll just allow it.

I'm going to go with short read. This spell grants up to 10 willing creatures you can see within range, the ability to breathe underwater until the spell ends and it lasts for 24 hours. Perfect. Oh, don't. Effected creatures also retain their normal mode of respiration. So if you need an inhaler, you still need it under water. I'm guessing. Yep. Oh, that's good. Thanks for the heads up. I only have a light.

You just have puff of his inhaler. Is that a jewel? So I'm gonna cast out all of us, but then oh shit, why undo it if I then turn into a reef shark? You'll be able to breathe underwater if you're a shark. But then when I turn back into moonshine, well, I still have water breathing. I would imagine that's not a concentration spell. Oh, then I guess I'm not going to turn into a reef shark. Oh, okay. I'm so sorry. Can I cast fine steed and have a reef shark appear?

What is the language of fine steed? There are also no animals here. You summon a spirit that assumes the form of an unusually intelligent, strong, and loyal Steed, creating a long-lasting bond with it. Appearing in an unoccupied space within range, the Steed takes on a form that you choose, such as a warhorse, pony, camel, elk, or mastiff.

Your DM might allow other animals to be summoned as soon as you. So you summon a, what kind of, I'll let you summon what you would like. Ooh, so you summon a, what kind of, I'll let you summon what you would like. Ooh, can I have your dolphin? Yes, it can be. Yay!

Can I click say that the water breathing ritual is like really brutal and it involves me like taking a razor blade and cutting guilt and saying trust me and then cutting guilt as long to everyone's throat. Fertil, the cuss. Trust the rust, it's a rusty razor blade. It's a rusty razor blade. Needlessly brutal. Trust the rust. It's a rusty razor. It's a rusty razor. Needlessly brutal.

Trust the rust. Can it actually be it should be a shark because dolphins can't actually breathe on a water They have to come up. Sure. I also think that hard one expected the breath underwater thing was going to be another kiss Pound her his lips and then you slit his throat with the rust Four times Slit his foot with the rest of you. Four times. Oh! Ah! Ha!

And then I shove you under like a mean kid at a pool, but then it feels great. And we can talk with reports, Pors. Yeah. Hey y'all, sorry about that formality. It's just the only way I can do it. Not what I was trying to do. I understand.

Yeah. Beverly, you summon a magic phantom shark. You see this little, I guess a blue meco. Do you tell us that you're doing that or you just doing it on your own? I'm like sitting in the corner while you're slicing everyone's gills in. Okay, so I mean I'm ready to fight this shark. Wait wait wait wait no no no. Yeah, suddenly a blue shark pops up. Everyone this is dolphin. Oh, hi, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, really master in it. He's summoned me from another world to Oh no, tell me more than this is.

Hold on, hold on, hold on, you don't know Balnor, do you? Balnor, hmm. Nope, I live in the ocean, is Balnor living the ocean? What are you doing before he got summoned? Oh, I had a little shark family, I remember I was protecting some smaller sharks that I was responsible for and then, boom, came out and suddenly feel like I need this little halfling to ride me around.

Okay, I gotta say, you separate families. This was not my intention. Okay, well, let's make the best of this situation. I'll head mount this noble creature. And bend it to your will, that really. How do I unsummon you? I start flipping through my manual, but we're under water, so it just gets wet.

Yeah, so what do you guys wanna do? Yeah, we'll jump in the water. All right, we're in, we're swimming. You guys enter the water and deep, deep below like hundreds of feet you see a little bit of light, but you can't make out much else. Everybody go ahead and give me a perception check. Can I just cast illuminate mystery?

That's not a real spell you jerk. That's a fake. Sounds so real. That's so good. 19. Ooh, I got a 19 too. Ooh. All right, let's couple a team.

All right, let's couple a team. All right, let's couple a team. Hard one, you are just concentrating so hard on having perfect form while you swim. Watch me kick. Now, watch me kick. Moonshine and Bev, you guys see movement. swim, watch me kick. Now watch me kick. Moonshine and Bev, you guys see movement in the water. Besides this light deep down that you guys can all see, moonshine and Bev, you guys see movement. You see what look like

several men and women, they have long hair and they're swimming below you guys. Oh my goodness. Are they like a little androgynous? have long hair and they're swimming below you guys. Oh my goodness. Are they like a little androgynous? They, you can't really see them very well unless you approach them. Hmm. Um, I, I, I said we just swim right up to them. I mean, right now they sound beautiful and I just want to get closer.

Can we hear them? Are they singing? No one's singing. And you, you guys are also, um, you guys have to use rapport sports if you want to talk to each other. I know that you're under water. We are. All right, so I go, I know everyone's got swimmer's ears, so I got to shove those spores right into each other's ears. I've had two.

It's great of Munchine touching me at the moment. I'm definitely getting any ear infection. Y'all, those people down there are beautiful. I mean, I'm in the water. I feel like I'm back in the creek and the creek got real deep. That's beautiful. And people, yeah, totally. I see those, too.

Let's, yeah. Munchine, should we try singing to them? Gladly. I take out new bits. Yeah. It gets wet. OK, yeah, it's so wet. Obviously.

Give me a performance check with so much disadvantage You have to roll it 20 times That doesn't you're playing a goddamn fiddle underwater No, it was fun to watch though because I saw how excited they were and I knew instantly that you weren't gonna let anything happen If I get another nat, Oh yeah, it's a disadvantage. You don't even get to use your nat, Tony. But I still got a 16.

Cool. Can I do like a little mermaid voice? Go like, Jesus Christ. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. So you guys are just playing your song, making weird sounds and vibrations under the water. I think we're playing it cool. You see one of the people below looks up and they are faceless.

There are these nude, stark, white, skinned people. Long hair, but no nipples or private parts or faces. And you see they also have what looks like green seaweed hanging from their Necks like attached to their necks. So yeah the other people appear to be paying you no mind But you've got one just staring at you with this blank face I also am up to him Sounds right get over Sounds right? Kick over.

Hard one. You get close. You see this being reaches out, it's hands and grabs you. Okay. Go ahead and give me a wisdom saving throw. That's going to be easy. I'm very smart. 17. 17.

17, okay. So this creature pulls you in close and for a second, it looks like you're staring into your own face. You guys, this creature is beautiful. It feels like you're almost being pulled out of your own body. Like it's this out of body experience. And Moonshine and Bev, you guys watching this, it looks like some death-eater shit from Harry Potter. Like his face is being sucked away.

I say that exactly. This is like from Harry Potter. I'll say, oh yeah, pop out rather than to me. Ranger, ranger, ranger. But hard one, suddenly you snap out of it and this person is faceless again. I guess I'll like wanna kill him there. Go ahead and swing on him.

Usually the rules of underwater combat are that you guys get disadvantage and stuff, but rather than balance it that way, which just seems annoying, and there will be a lot of misses, and will not be very fun, I'm just gonna say you guys can't do like projectile shit. Like you can't whip out a bow and shoot somebody underwater, but I'll allow your swords and your axes and your chalalean everything to

be normal. 19-hit. 19-hit. Believe it or not on this nude person. On this nude faceless person. 11 damage. You super kill this person. You just cut them down. All right. Good job. Yeah so this body is now cut in half and is just floating there. This weird seaweed thing on its neck, and you see the other people still kind of aren't paying you any mind. They're swimming down towards this light. Can I scoop that seaweed? Sure.

So you pull the seaweed from like their neck. You see that it's like a little creature, And it starts wriggling around in your hand. Keep it, hang on to it. Hey little guy. Yeah, I guess I shove it in my pocket or something. OK, shove it in your pocket. It's just furiously biting like your leg and stuff. OK.

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until you can finally see the sunken temple. There are glowing white orbs around it. It's covered in algae but completely intact. You can't see inside but it looks like a big dome building. In the front is a big statue of a water elemental. In plate armor holding a trident. The bottom half first kind of shaped like a mermaid. And where the bottom of her body kind of like bends up you see a small tunnel that you

can swim through to enter the temple. I'm diving. You dive so ready for this. So you guys go ahead and you swim through this claustrophobic little tunnel until it opens up and you're in the main room of the sunken temple, just this huge underwater dome room. The wall is covered in hieroglyphics showing the water Titan creating the sea and killing all these trespassers, this all this art all over the walls. They're design. There are these drowned people, the faceless people, are everywhere cleaning it up and maintaining the temple. There's like 12 or 14 in it up and maintaining the temple.

There's like 12 or 14 in here swimming about the temple. And you see in the center of the room is a raised altar with no top and bubbles blowing up from it. It almost looks like a chimney and there appears to be air coming through it. You can see that from the bubbles. And in the back of the room is a huge statue of a bearded warrior holding a javelin and riding a sleigh led by these four big sea horses towards a statue of the water elemental as they like prepare for battle.

This is gonna be a dang puzzle. Oh right, oh right, puzzles. Self-aggrandizing art much. I mean, come on. Yeah. I kind of like it again though. OK, what do we say? One of y'all dislodge the javelin and throw it at something.

I thought we were not allowed to throw things. Fuck your right, no projectiles. Yeah, can we do a perception check on the four horses or just like the statues in general? Cool. So you guys want to like swim over to the horses? Yeah. On the way over there, can I do a perception check down into that room where the bubbles are coming from? Yeah. Sure. Hard one. You go to like stick your face over this altar in the middle that's blowing air up and you're just hit with so much pressure that you can't keep your eyes open or look down there. Your face is instantly like pulled back. Nothing down there.

Bev, go ahead and give me an investigation check on what are you checking specifically about the statues. I want I want to look at the javelin first and foremost. Yeah. Okay, go ahead. Okay, that's a seven. Okay, it's pretty straightforward. You look at it, it appears to be part of the statue and not like a separate javelin

that you could just easily pull out. It would seem if you wanted to get this javelin, you would need to like break it. Okay. Maybe we break and just shove it into the chimney. Before we do that, I feel like I want to keep exploring the statues for now. Just tell me how you like interact with it, what you do.

I want to look at the seaworses now. Okay, go ahead and give me an investigate check. That's a four. Four. Okay. I'll also look at the seawors. Go ahead, everybody give me an investigate check. I want to put on my goggles and then look at 16.

I got 16 too. Oh, twin. You guys, tell me what you guys are doing, how you guys are interacting with the sea horses and stuff. First and foremost, General, yeah. I'm gonna melt the sea horse. You're gonna melt the sea horse. Oh, I see him doing that, do the same.

Okay, you guys mount the sea horses and you notice that as you get on them, they like rock a little bit. I see him doing not do the same. Okay, you guys mount the seahorses and You notice that as you get on them they like rock a little bit like on the bathing cob jump on Okay, get off Dolph for a second hang tight Dolph I will hang tight. I'll wait here forever. I'll starve myself. I'll never eat again. I'm not making him do this Beverly I will wait here until I die. Dof, do you want something to eat? Do you want some, some Ritzbiss? Only if you command me to eat.

Please eat a Ritzbiss. Eat just devours Ritzbits instantly. Sorry, they're soggy. It's okay, I always eat soggy food, eh? Ah, ah, ah. That's fine. I'm sorry, am I allowed to tell jokes? Oh god, that's too bad for your money.

That's too bad for your money. Oh god, that's too bad for your money. All right, so you guys all sit on top of these seahorses. I'm gonna spank my seahorses, but Get it up. You spank your seahorses, but and it turns into a real seahorse and begins flying or just kidding You smack your seahorses, butt and it shakes a little bit. So unlike the dude who's holding the javelin that you investigated, that was like a big stone thing that was like stuck there. These seahorses, while very heavy, have some like movement to them.

Okay, y'all, all four of us have this seahorse. I don't know what we're gonna do with it. Let's drag it over to the air bubbles Yeah, let's drag it over to the air bubbles. Oh interesting. Okay. Yeah, okay, sure Cool, so you guys are all working together on like one. I'm just button mashing down here I'm just going along the wall and pressing a can we each take one? You cannot each take one. They're super fucking good. They're like 500 pounds. Let's grab one.

Yeah. So you guys all work together, lift in with your legs, and you're able to grab one of these sea horses, and you pull it out, and it is movable. You now have a giant sea horse that you're all holding. Was there anything underneath it where I was resting? There's nothing underneath it.

Can we just put it in the face of the ocean goddess statue? Just like real threatening. Sure, you swim over, you can get so fucking tired. This is so heavy. You put that seahorse right up in the face to the water elemental and nothing happens. Really? Can we use it to plug up the bubbles?

It does not look big enough to plug up the bubbles. All right, can I? It's smaller than the opening. I'm gonna swim over to the bubbles and just like, see if it's like Willy Wonka style, they'll just like spit me up somewhere. It shoots you up to the top of the dome. Is there a hole in the top of the dome?

No, okay, you're just pressed against the top of the dome, having intense water pressure shooting you up there. Is it at least kind of nice for my back? No, it hurts so bad. You're feeling crushed. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Grrrr! Chip, papa! Papa, okay, I got to get out of there. I get out of there, I think I'll be. It's scrambled out. Okay, so there's four horses.

Were they looking in any specific direction to just forward towards the water elemental? Okay, all right. I mean, is there something that we could put on this little jet of water that would puncture the ceiling? Mm, we'll try it with a horse. Didn't you tell us that we shouldn't put a horse on it? No, no, no. You can put a horse. I'm saying that the horse can't plug it up. The horse is smaller than the horse.

Oh, and yeah, let's put the horse on there. Cool. Does anyone want to ride it up? Hmm, I saw. I think we all saw how you got lined up there. I can't want it up right there. Okay. Yeah, I'll ride it. You guys all work together. You lift this like 500 pound seahorse statue

over the altar in the middle and it's heavy enough that it begins to sink. Ooh, with moonshine attached to it. Oh, you follow it down. Join my friends! Yeah, we all jump on it too too. You guys all jump on, and you begin sinking down this tunnel. Ooh, comrades. Sometimes descent is fun.

So you guys all riding the seahorse together, sink down this long tunnel. And at the bottom, you begin to see beautiful glowing coral that gets brighter and brighter. Can I grab a chunk and put in my pocket? You're not there. Oh, don't touch it. When you finally reach the bottom you see you're in the throne room of the water temple. It almost looks like a giant treasure room that you'd see in a pirate movie but instead of gold there's just colorful coral everywhere. And sitting on a throne of coral, coral, coral, is this watertightened, shaped like a mermaid with a

trident with silver armor that is carved to look like shells. And you see this figure turns her head towards you guys and goes, oh, you're different. You haven't drowned yet. Come now and let me baptize you. Oh, give it a shot. We fucked up your brother and your sister. Good fuck them. They're not as strong as I am. Gail and Shail are history. Yeah, dude. Let's let's let's let's fuck with Wh now. Yeah, I don't want to rhyme. Everyone roll initiative. Would you prefer sail? Yes, I would.

Oh, okay. I got a nat 20s. Turns into a 23. Ooh, it's a 19 for me. Okay, Munchine, you act first. All right, I was a little transfixed by your sister's appearance and I'm not going to make the same mistake here. So I hope this works on the water and I cast a little transfixed by your sister's appearance and I'm not gonna make the same mistake here So I hope this works on the water and I cast a lightning bolt on her dope watch a crit call lightning

Watch a crit call lightning That's not gonna just electrocute all of us Similar thing is he isn't No, I don't think d&d's that logical. You just shoot like a bolt of lightning from your hand Yeah, what does she have to do? She has to make a dexterity saving throw. Okay. Six, that's not gonna do it, huh? Actually it does.

I'm just kidding. Okay then, 86 damage bits. What? Oh my God, Jesus. That's several, that's several de-sixes. It's gonna be 27. 27 damage damage Jesus. You shoot bolts of lightning from your hand and you shock her.

Oh, I ruled the net 20. I thought I would go first. Yeah, well, looks who Luke came first me. Yeah, well now I'm second jerk. Does the coral short? Good, bring out. She swims over to you. Honestly, I'm not even impressed by how cool your armor is.

It looks like God damn seashells. You don't think that's cool? Oh my God, this is the Crick versus the Ocean. Oh, the Crick flows into the Ocean. You are one with the Ocean. Yeah? Well, sometimes you got a several limb. And you could say that the Crick is the limb,

but maybe the Ocean's the limb. Just real big limb. And you could say that the crick is the limb, but maybe the ocean's the limb. Just real big limb. Are you declaring your independence? I don't know, I'm just trying to trash talk for you. Okay, you see, she points her trident at you, Moon Shine. You see the three tips of her trident blades. Glow blue as she tries to attack you rapid fire with them. First attack is for 15 to hit.

No, that does not. This is second attack, 18 to hit. That does. Eight damage plus a D10 of colds damage, plus another seven. Oh, so 15. And then she takes a third attack. And rolls a two.

Shout out to the two group. She misses on her last four. Oh, two group, you are good to me. Thank you, beautiful twos. Honestly, I'm just going to call it out. I hit you for more. How so? I'm saying it to the woman.

Oh, you hit her for more. Oh, I got you. I'm saying I hit you for more. I thought you had a... I can would like it to take a layer action So I get to go again. So titans are so good. Yeah, find me in the creek. Find me in my layer What is the creek? It's like the ocean but smaller and cooler In the fitter more mud

That's a layer action of the crick is you just stepping mud on accident More mud. That's the layer action of the crate because you just step in mud on accident. So after her turn, you see she holds up a watery hand and her hand becomes like a whirlpool. And it becomes like very transfixing. And suddenly, the room becomes all wavy and you feel yourself start to get like tunnel vision as you see like the brightness of the coral. Everybody give me a wisdom saving throw.. Oh wisdom. So see which. I rolled a two but thanks to the two crew and your impervious wisdom I get to re-roll because I've got my wetstone enabled and that makes me lucky on ones My sword glows and guides me through the haze of the mesmerizing coral and I rolled a seven

Not gonna do it yet, but I still get to add my plus four to that right? Yeah, so 11 so you gotta be to 15 Oh, I got a 15 you got a 15. Okay, okay, okay, so Bev moon shine and Cobb are all under the effect of the slow spell Moon Shine and Cobb are all under the effect of the slow spell. So you guys now, your speed is halved. You take a minus two penalty to AC and Dex saving throws, and you can't use reactions. On your turn, you can either use an action or a bonus action, not both. But it requires concentration on her part,

so you can knock into her. That is your turn, hard one. Hard one. You actually should have gone before this. So next time, I'll have you go before her. That's your rule of her. That is your turn, hard one. Hard one, you actually should have gone before this. So next time, I'll have you go before her leg action. That's your rule of action. She ruled the Nat 20, but their actions are on 20. You got like a 23 or something.

Sweet, I'm gonna swing at this mermaid. I'm gonna do it out. Hard one's gone fishing, baby. Ooh, yeah. 20. That hits 14. Okay. So she needs to roll a save to see if she can keep concentrating

and she passes. Sweet. I'll take my second attack. Okay. 13. 13 does not hit. Cool. I'm gonna use my action search.

Go for it. Yeah, 15. 15. 15 does not hit. You hit her armor. By the way, a slow spell, a charming spell. No. I'm gonna expand a luck point because I rolled the two. Okay. Like to hit her at least one more time. Yeah. Not 20, baby. Oh, nice. It's gonna be so hard for her to maintain concentration. 28 damage. 28 damage, Jesus. Yeah, get distracted.

Grim fishermen. Oh, that's another good one to add to your titles. You swing into her and you see a rush of water come out. I guess that's how water elementals bleed. That's how you heard them. I don't know. Are you pissing yourself? I'm not pissing myself with your family.

I am the queen of the water. You guys all have IBS. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. There's just a little stain in her armor. But her concentration is broken. You guys are no longer slowed. Oh nice.

Do we know that we are slowed? Or we just time is over. I mean, if you're just like for fun moving around, then I think you're just swimming in slow motion. We're just mesmerized by the coral didn't even notice That is Bev's turn. I'm just gonna swim up to her. Okay First of all, I'm gonna say if you need any any any fiber products for your bowels I've got I've got some in my backpack. I'm pissing not shitting. I'm not pissing To me, it's all the same.

I stab her. Okay, go for it. That's about 20. That's 20. And on that 20, I'm going to do a thunderous smite. Hell yeah. All right, cool. A roll, double damage.

So 21 plus 11. Yes, might that fish. 32 damage. Dang, you've pierced my shells You're a crustacean. No, what do you I'm water? I'm just I'm just water. I'm telling you my peers would love to gather around and Fine, I'm pissing I'm pissing on you. You just feel water going all over you. Yeah, that's what you want I can even like it. Here's water, dude.

I can even turn it yellow here. No, hold on. The whole room fills up with yellow. There, you think this is, it's piss. I've pissed everywhere. It's a foul. I'm a piss elemental. That's why they call it the elemental chaos.

Babe, you get a second attack. Oh, shit. They do indeed covered in piss. Beverly swings his attack. Oh shit, I do indeed. Covered in piss, Beverly. Swings is blade. All right, cool. Shout out to the two crew for your second attack. That's 17? 17 does not hit.

Blinded by piss. Blinded by the piss. It causes me to swing and then miss. Oh. Thank you. So Ol' Cobb is just gonna go up. He's got a short sword as well. He's using a long time.

All right, take him in. Hey, why not? I rolled a one. All right. I'm not even good with short swords to begin with. Oh, yeah. Ol' Cobb misses twice. He's just slow motion.

He still thinks he's slowed. And he bangs. Wow. I'm still tripping out from this coral. Which eye is your turn? All right, it's hard to figure out which spells I can use underwater, so I'm gonna go with what works. Another lightning bolt.

Do it up. Let's go. Yeah. She does the saving throw? Yep, saving throw. Lightening was just twice. Miss. She rolled the 19, so she saves.

She saves. She saves. So she's the first one. Ah, still takes half damage. Oh, dammit. Can I say a goal we're doing grab her by the throw and just electro. Ah, still takes half damage. Oh, dammit. Can I say a goal? We're doing grabber by the throw and just electrocute her. Sure, yeah.

Oh, damn. Ah, needlessly violent. For 26. 26. Yeah, that was sweet as hell to your sister and it didn't do me any good. Jesus. Um, okay.

She takes, oh, she takes half damage though. Yeah, oh, half damage of that. Yeah. Got it. Okay, us is the only thing these people listen to. Yeah, no. Cool. She is going to poke at ya with her trident.

Ha-ha! Careful, moonshine. That's covered in piss. Very funny. She pisses on you, hard one. She hits. How is she directing? You know, we got tridons down at the creek.

Guess what we call them? Forks? Very funny. She pokes you with her fork for seven damage. She takes a third attack, 15 hits. She misses. Yeah. Too fast for you.

Try to slow me down to your speed, but here I am. So you see at the end of her turn, she holds up two hands and the coral around her begins levitating. And she points out at you guys and you guys see bits of coral fly at you. Go ahead and give me a go ahead and give me constitution saving throws. Oh hard one make sure that you change your save and throw. Oh I did. Oh, I did. Oh, that's an at 20. That don't you're five plus your four 16 16 oh shit, I'm going on 14

So can I can I officially be 16 going on 17? You're 16 going on 17 hard one you take full damage You take 17 poison damage being scraped by poison coral. Yeah, she's poison it. She's using my own tricks. Soak the roots. Every once in a while I'm poisonous. Beverly, I'll say within that 20 that you don't even take half damage. Nice.

But moonshine, can I catch a piece of the coral as a souvenir? Sure, yeah, you get a little. Oh, so jealous. You get a nice little rock. I want to make some jewelry from it and sell it by the trick. Moonshine, you take eight damage. Cobb also saved, so he takes half.

Ooh, okay. That is back around to you, hard one. All right, I've got enough of your peak covered coral. That's a nat one, baby. What is it? Because I'm gonna use a luck point. Still not gonna be good enough, 14. No, that does not hit.

26 for that one though. 26 hits. Luck reigns down on you not hit. 26 for that one though. 26 hits. Lock rains down on you like a golden shower for nine of it. She is hurt but still alive. Oh, I wanna fuck this bitch up. Bev, that's your turn. Yeah, let's use ensnaring strike. Okay, but that's just a bonus action,

so I'm gonna go ahead and do my attack. Okay. It's a 19 plus eight, that hits. Yeah. That's 14 damage. Beverly, finish her. Oh, baby. I rest the Trident from her hand.

Okay, and then I look over at Moonshine, I wanna say, hey, let's do the old Moonstone flashback. Oh. And I toss her the Trident. Yeah, take the Trident. Flashback. Oh, wow. And I tossed her the trident. Yeah, take the trident! Flashback, y'all. I'm swinging over my head, it's not doing anything special, so I'm just gonna gut her like the fish she is.

You stab into her, you see the water disperse, you see her breastplate and her crown explode off. As she's exploding, I'm like, y'all, is this a trident or a plunger? Because there is piss everywhere. Gross. The water turns blue again. You fucking assholes.

And yeah, much like the air, you suddenly hear a voice whispering to you in the water. You have defeated me and tamed the sea. You've earned a gift. Who of you wishes to wield the power of water to preserve life itself? I mean, I think I'd probably like it. Yeah, that sounds like your deal. Yeah, being a prick. Well, technically, I'm at peace. I think both death and life can be cruel in their own ways. Give, bless me. So moonshine, you see the coral in the room begins to glow and thrums with power.

Your vision gets foggy and you feel yourself start to slip. But suddenly you're filled with this overwhelming sense of calm. From the outside, hard one in Beverly, you guys see moonshine turn a deep shade of blue. Her elven ears get longer and even pointier, and she looks like a murfolk. Before returning to her normal form, moonshhine, you suddenly recover. The whole room comes back into focus, and you realize that you're now breathing underwater on your own.

This feels so right. And you can also add one to wisdom. Ah, wait, is I gonna breathe underwater now? Just in general. What? That's really good. Oh, that's handy. And your smart. Oh, this is so great.

Yeah, how do you think she's breathing underwater? She's so smart. I'm the champion, are you right? I mean, I wish you wouldn't say it that way. But you are my champion. In the way that a queen or a king might have somebody who fights on their behalf. Yes, exactly, exactly. Now, I just wanted to say two things. I think I will best represent you as your champion if you gave me two things. Want a bit of your coral to make into some really

cool jewelry. Oh, yeah, go ahead, take whatever you want. Great. Number two, give me your trident. I'm just saying, if I'm the ambassador, everyone who meets me thinks this is a reflection of the queen of the elemental ocean, and I'm just walking around this dinky cimitar. Yeah, we saw your closet. You've got like 15 of these. Yes, I guess I could just summon another trident.

You see, a trident just forms in the water and floats over to you I'm not gonna lie. This isn't exactly special. I have another one. You see another one appear Can I have a mini one to use as a javelin? You can have she just like makes you a little fork Here's a novelty fork Sorry, y'all, just a back pedal. I would never take a present in this comment. Sorry. Unless commanded by Sir Togold here.

Is this like Dolby rules? Sorry, y'all, just a back pedal or rather backstroke. Can I just ask this coral? Are you giving it to me in jewelry form or do I got to take it to a jewelry? You can bake your own Oh, that'll be like a little crafting project for us. Yeah, a little side quest, huh? Okay. Thank you very well then one last question. Yes Uh, do you have a big clamshell bed? We can all sleep in oh

Well the rest of One big clam and one big clam one one big clam, one big clam. All right, all right, calm the hell down. I don't have the breath underwater spell. I think a few of you will die if you sleep here, but let's be quiet. Let's be quiet. 24 hours.

24 hours? Yeah. So you want to sleep in my throne room? We'll get a little pruny, but you know. You get a big clam. All right. Do you have a big claim in there? This is offensive.

What is this double and tanger? You know what? Oh, I even got it. It's rude. You're the one that pee-pee at all. It's rude. I didn't pee. You called it pee.

It was all water the whole time. It was water. You have a dirty mind. This is water. Quickly about a bed. Oh, okay. Yeah. Well, why would I think you had a dirty mind just talking about piss the whole time?

The whole time we fought. Yes, go ahead, sleep under water, you fucking maniacs. I mean, if you're going to follow anything with, with do this, you maniacs, we're going to do it. Yeah. We getting that big clam and we sleep on pearls as pillows. You guys sleep in this coral thrown room. Oh, and the coral is like night lights.

That is majestic. We wake up and we're almost drowning. We wake up gasping. No. Moonshot wakes up and she's fine. You guys are like, huh, if we overslept, we would have died. We would have not had time to swim out of here.

D'all would have woken us up. A hard one spent a little bit of time last night making Moonshine a too tiny little coral earring. Oh my god, because you know metal. Yeah, I can work with that. I'm a master stone worker. Moonshine immediately ovulates. But, ha, ha, ha. Did theyhine immediately ovulates. That's great.

Did they glow? Yeah, they're glowing. Hell yeah. That's so good. That's so cool. I immediately put them on. Great work, hard work. I can also, I had written down choral pieces for choral jewelry,

but now I can just say choral earrings. Cool. So you guys all go to bed into this coral throne room or go to clam. Yeah, go to clam. Go to clam without dinner. Go to clam.

Everyone, you go to clam. You guys all go to clam. Like the expression, I'm as tired as a clam. You wake up, you don't know if it's morning, you're in a clam. We open up the clam. That's so funny. It's like a Murphy clam. I know.

You guys wake up out of your Murphy clam, one big clam. We're all still muttering, one big clam. Making the clam in the morning. Yeah, good military tuck on the clam. Yeah, we're good house guys. Horn or tux. This has been like a big Airbnb adventure where you like go from city to city.

This is the best one, right? Oh, I think so. Five stars. You guys get terrible sleep. You're just floating in the water. It feels completely unnatural. You keep bumping into each other because you're all staying in one clam. It's horribly claustrophobic.

It's like you've been carried at you. You really nearly, you don't think you're going to get out of bed to do it. Oh, that's true. Oh yeah. Dolphs up in there too. His skin is very abrasive. You guys wake up, you open the clam. You see the water elemental has already reformed and she just goes, okay, are you awake?

Are you, is everyone done? Lady, your champion is. Oh, my champion. So good to see you again. And with that special trident, do you see she hides her new trident? That's nice. I give her a deep champion hug,

and I hold on until she until she gets rid of me. I eat a little bit of our bed. Actually, when I'm hugging her, I whisper in her ear. What's the deal with all those faceless servants? What's that? Grub on their neck. They serve me here. Those little grubs can bite your neck

and help you breathe underwater. Oh, cool. Cool, I'm gonna grab a couple Yeah, go ahead just go knock those guys out. They're pretty easy to kill That's true. We have already killed a few. Yeah, I love hugging you You had let go that entire time You know what she just goes ahead and commands for you guys some of these drowned people to come down and She just goes ahead and commands for you guys. Some of these drowned people come down and the algae monsters detach from their necks

and you guys can like put them in little bags and tuck them away. Okay. Nice. All right, any advice before we go fight your brother? Yes, you cannot approach my brother's lair without my help. My waves cannot extinguish the flames of a volcano

but they will enrage him, and he will show himself to you. So are you ready to face him? Let's fuck him up. I think so. I turned a doll, say, well, you like a one- Kind of the end of a line. For you you buddy. Okay. Should I just wait here? Can I return him to the place from when she came? Absolutely. You can unsummon him. Okay cool. Thanks so much. Tell your kids I said hi You make him disappear on the other side of the void you hear mark Dan. Oh God Oh, no, my name's Dulf now. I don't remember you. Oh, no my name's Dolf now. I

Don't remember you oh Okay, well that's good let's all just forget that happened fire time All right, yeah piss us toward the volcano woman. Hey don't piss. Don't she stabs you with her dry face. Yeah Just lightly in the bud. Woo. That's coming out of your Airbnb review. The watertighten lifts up her trident and you see the ceiling of the throne room begin to crumble.

The entire temple turns to dust around you as you're suddenly just out in the open ocean and she swims up and leads you guys back to the surface of the water. You guys break the surface of the water and you guys are all floating there. You guys still have your ability to fly. The air elemental just like gave you guys favor. You guys are just able to fly the rest of the time that you're here.

Oh, dang! This is going to be so hard to not fly anymore. Yeah. Let's like really... Let's use it though today. Can we use a whole day where we've, since we're in this sort of time warp, can we just use a whole day where we explore flying

and then sleep on the shores of the ocean? Do you not want me to, sometimes? We do, we'll meet you back here in 24 hours. Exactly, you piss us into the volcano. I don't piss. All right. Are you, you want to just fly volcano. I don't piss. All right. Are you, you want to just fly around today just for 24 hours? We're going to take a me elemental.

You're just okay. Come and get me in the water temple tomorrow. And she goes back down into the water. Now we just spend a day flying. Yeah, we do. Fast for the clock, 24 hours, Mewchang, you can breathe underwater. Yeah, yeah, swim down and I'm like,

hey girl, we're back. We all learn how to do tricks. We're back. Just fuck all of you. Absolutely fuck you. We got all of you. We got all of you. We got all of you.

We got all of you. We got all of you. We got all of you. We got all of you. We got all of you. We got all of you. We got all of you. We got all of you. We got all of you. We got all of you. We got all of you. Rare rare It looks like he's been riding like co-pilot and like one of those bi-planes He's wearing my goggles in my little hat

You see she floats up to the surface of the water after moonshine goes down and gets her and she goes all right Are you ready? Yeah, I'm ready. Would you like to see me command the fucking sea? That sounds awesome. Absolutely. No mind. That was awesome, but pretty good. Malady, I'm your champion. I swing around with Trident. She sees I've added some glitter and some flair too. We already got a sky right. Look, I wrote your name in the clouds. Well, it says, well, I thought we decided on sale.

Oh, she was it sale. No, it's well. It's well. You absolutely fuck all of you. Absolutely. I hate my champion. Perhaps most of all. Oh, by the way, you owe me a favor, right? I can call on you at some time. You may call on me in your time of need. You absolute son of a bitch. You absolute son of a bitch. Thank you. Actually daughter of a daughter of a bitch. Thank you. Go actually daughter of a bitch, thank you. Very well.

Daughter of a crick. You see she begins moving her trident to and fro and you see the waves gaining momentum as she swings her arm until finally. She summons a giant mighty wave that crashes into the land and douses the entire landscape including the volcano in the deep distance. You see steam rises from it and you hear a mighty roar. Who threw water all over my super cool volcano? Show yourselves! And you see this massive being of pure fire bigger than the other elementals wearing a full suit of black metal emerges from the volcano and hovers over the flooded country side.

The water beneath him begins to boil. You guys stand toe to toe, sizzling water underneath you, and that's where we'll end our session. Woo! Woo! So I guess that's Dale. What? What?

Just by default Dale, I guess. Yes, my name is Dale. I was trying to think of a rhyming name for fire. Dale, I have to do a? Dale, I will accept it. Good session, moonshine champion of the sea. Thought she might become champion of the air, but is champion. I'm honestly glad that I didn't have,

I'm honestly glad that I held out for this one. Yeah, but hey, save it for the short rest. You're right, you little saucy teeth. Guys, we will be talking more about the show over at the After Show, over at patreon.com slash nad pod. That's N-A-D-D-P-O-D. After show. Ooh.

I usually say don't sing yet. We already did. We already sang. It was a different song, so that's okay. Guys, check out me in Emily's book. It's called hey you up How to turn your booty call into your emergency contact satirical relationship advice book available on Amazon and Audible if you like listening to books call the little how-to people watch big city greens

You can check out on Disney Channel or the Disney now app or on Amazon or iTunes Thank you so much for watching yeah, yeah, I Listen to if I were you with Jake and Amir, and guys, check out our live show. I don't know if we recorded this one a little bit ahead of time. I don't know if tickets are still available to our live show. So guys, go over to headgum.com slash live and see if you can still get tickets to the Seattle live show in September.

They make great stocking stuffers. All right, for Labor Day. For your Labor Day stuff. Yeah, for your Labor Day stocking stuffers. Oh, right for Labor Day. For your Labor Day stuff. That was Labor Day stuff. For your Labor Day stocking. Don't forget to hang your Labor Day stocking everyone. Normal suck. Follow us on Twitter at CH Merp.

At CH Merp is me, at Jake Hurwitz is Jake, at called he is called. Well, at EXTRAD is Emily and please tweet about the show using hashtag naddpod It's the end of the show everybody so we gotta shout out our benevolent counsel of elders, Emily take it away. Matthew and the Bullywag Prince, the only Bullywag that could handle a frog hemath lover. That's a lot of fraud. I was about to say the same thing called, that's a lot of fraud. Except we got Joe and the lover of Lucy, Joe and Lucy, once Airbnb Beverly's family's summer house and made love in every room. That's also hot.

Yeah, that's what that smell was. And then of course we got Brad D, the only Pebble Pot who isn't Craven. He's also the only Pebble Pot that can slam dunk or roll their tongue. Wow, a polymath. Very good. Again, dunking can touch, though, weirdly enough.

JLM72, aka Steelbreaker, hard ones, Jim Rival, who exercises exclusively with Drill Card Tires. He's always flipping them, Drill Card Tires. That will work your core. Love it. Andrew, aka Phil Spar,ardin, the half-elf. As a half-elf, Andrew has the sculpted jawline of an elf and the barbed tail of a teafling.

Ooh, that's a lot of frog. Bad. Taylor Papa, the sixth legendary barred to whom no item isn't an instrument once used the bloated body of a dead goatman like a set of bagpipes, it was a stirring rendition of Danny Boy. No, the sad thing is the goatman liked it.

Yeah, I know, that's the thing. You know they love it. You're playing Danny Boy. Next up, Dylan B is super weak wizard who wields 12 swords. He's not much to watch on the battlefield, but if you throw 12 avocados at him, you got guagmoy for you. Bitch, that avocado is gonna brown though.

Welcome to fucking Mose. Of course we have Simon W, the bootleg of hardwants soft loss. He can't fly an airship. He can't wield a blade. He'll never know what it's like to crit or behead a foe, but he does know a parent's love and always has somewhere to go on holidays. I envy you brother, absolutely brutal. Danny P. Bohumi is resident artist, painted hard one, senior portrait at the Dwarf

finish. It was, unfortunately, before hard one could grow a beard. So it reminds hard one of this awkward phase where all his door friends and even his dwarven girlfriend could grow more facial hair than him. I shameful time in my life. Duncan on Hard one. Post-dress me. Ha ha ha. Tom P. Father of the Realm,

serenator of Sleeping Babies, it is rumored that if you are even momentarily cradled by Tom P. you were great, you were gained all your hit die and spell slots. Long rest with the timing of a short rest. I mean, jump into the marts. Game breaking.

Like a bye baby. Next up, Spencer Caskbrew, patron elder of libations, ale maker to gods and heroes of Bahumia, like Viola herself likes to wind down with a Spencer's hard lemonade. Oh boy, I think Viola has ever been iced. Yeah, I do. With an iced dagger by Ilson. Pedro E. Bart of the Mountains who can summon an earthquake with a song a thunderstorm with a melody or an embarrassing tut with the right snare hit.

And of course, finally, for me, Don Lemon the dwarf runs the dwarf anage. Oh, oh. Closest thing to a father, hard ones ever known, also closest thing to a boss that hard ones ever known because he works those kids so hard. That's right. He stern and not really fair.

Yeah, I would say stern but fair. But I'm dead. And don't move on without letting me think Griffin SDAK the stranger the silver dragon board Eldritch knight owner of Badger's point in and tavern this noble heroes slider entree comes with not three but four burgers Wow extra burger. Yeah extra burger on the door Yeah, extra burger on the door. Danielle the Dastardly Dame, ballbreaker. She who need Denny's nags.

Danielle is the reason Denny has a high pitched voice. Hey, you stock like, hey gang. You see a K.A. Haldor Frostback MVP of the Giant Wars. He crewed on SS Stormborn and fought alongside Elias and Red of our Barbarian War warrior from the frigid north. Fights bare chested no matter the temperature and completely naked even if it's a little muggy out. I'll take it. Gotta let the boys breathe. I love our naked friend. Many the mundane,

accidental deity who got in the way of a lick, liches, liches, spells, reach divinity. Every time you think you peed a little on your pants, but then realize it's actually dry, that is manny helping you out. You did pee on your pants. That's right, you did a lot on your pants. I don't think I ever had that experience. I definitely often. Daniel, you aka multiple four owner of a sweet sentient boat

that sounds like Gilbert Gottfried. He hit a duck last week and the duck was like, F-Wack! But he didn't know if that was actually the duck or if it was the boat. Good job, Jake. Jordan DJ, legendary DJ of the realm, Remixed Hard One's favorite childhood song, Dwarf Song, which is actually just the sound of a pickaxe rhythmically hitting a rock. That's sandstormed at dwarves. That's what inspired my woodblock actually. Jeffrey S. Lord of the Fjord, Bored of the Sword, likes his meat cured.

Regularly consumes said meat of the most on the most tasteful chart, Kudary Boyd. I forgot that I rhymed at the end Xavier C once took a shit the size of the rock elementals and didn't even grunt Wow now them some spanked That's a lot of fun great work cutter W a high-elf dandy to a crick-stump attack His latest project was a high stump some low-class buffoons might call a tree This project was a high stump, some low-class buffoons might call a tree, but Cutter took all the limbs from that thing,

so you know it is a stump, it's just a stump high rise. Kind of confusing. Very, but that's the artist, that's the artistry. Lex S, a tiny gnome with the biggest beard in Bahumia, and yes, it is bigger than hard ones. Big wow, I don't know if you've ever made that concession, but for scale. Just because you're the first scale.

Yeah, just scale. Just scale. Oh, it's a scale. Oh, it's a scale. John S. A.K.A. Schubert the Mushroom once saw Tata piece of his own head to create the best omelet ever served at an execution brunch. Oh, yummy.

I beat it. I beat it. James B. A ripped fairy who is belting out cum bai-a to a very uncutly, uncomfortable, beverly, total, the fourth in the Fey Wild. His voice is fine. It's just making Beb's dad uneasy that he's so fucking cut.

Sounds like my dad. He hates the shenanigans. It's a place of weird. Ha ha. But my dad is the only normal person in this entire universe. All right, I got some names. We got Ryan M., a gelatinous cube so highly advanced they transformed into a gelatinous

dodecahedron. Very complex. Oh, very handsome math stuff. Alina C., the chill touch master, can chill a drink perfectly from miles away and fully supports the ban on ice The ice ban and you him the lizard lord has dominion over all lizards and some of the worlds nicer turtles Turtle they're usually so mean beard ice turtle lift the ice ban Beard man Dan where's a beautiful bespoke tuxedo made out of their beard hair So mean. Beer, Iced Turtle, lift the icepan. Yeah. Beard man, Dan.

Whereas a beautiful bespoke Tuxedo made out of their beard hair, voted best dressed at the Galator on Gala, five years running. Wow, that's a hair shirt. Wonder if they're gonna have one this year. Yeah. It's compromised. Scott D, the first Crick elf to go to space.

Nobody's done it since, and Scott's still up there, so no one can ask him how they did it. Oh! Way ahead of his time. Yeah, D. It was an accident with a big sting shot. Ha, ha, ha. Aren C, Boundor's cooler brother, who everyone likes.

Fighting on the other side of the war, Boundor was pulled from. The good side? We still don't know. We don't know. Don't know. We don't know. Don't know. Hermes W. AKA the Bat King owns an incredibly lucrative guano farm. He pays all his workers a very comfortable living wage

and lets them take home as much guanos as they want. Wow. Also, he's a bat. So like the nice bat version of Jeff Bezos. Yeah. Jeff Bezos. Mi, Jeff Bezos. Miguano, Siguano. T. Alex wrote the green tea and handbook.

Their editor wanted them to remove the kill your idols passage, but they straight up refused. That came into play, for a lot of states. That's right. It's our guns. Rest his history. Harley S. wheeled a giant stew-sea S. Blay that kills you in the most tubular way possible.

Thank you. Thank you. Parker E. Ghost Master. They are friend of ghost. If you need a ghost, Parker's your person. Not a ghost themselves though. No. Wow.

Friend of ghost. Got it. It's the opposite of a ghost buster. Except for busting the balls. Exactly. That's what you do in friends. Yeah, exactly. If your friends are like, if you raise your friends, you like,

someone a ghost, and then the ghost like, slap some in the balls. Anyway, Kyle McEw, a fast food magnate who is branched out from a quennl to opening an Italian fast casual dining experience called a qual of quartet. Oh, well you're here, you're quamily. I'm not even gonna try to stop that. RJW owns the longest pipe in all of Hill home. They wheel it through town on Saturday nights

and let everyone take a drag of their sweet sticky long bottom. Oh, what a hell yeah. I love to get high and go to Qual of Quarantine. Oh yeah, I'm more of a McQuarnalds girl myself. Unlimited quetzdicks. I like the Qualler menu. That's good. That's a big frog.

That's huge. Oh man, keep rolling. We're recording another podcast. We're on. We got it. Spartas, the only nerdy cobalt. Still incredibly buff, but for first Twitch streaming and craft beer. We got it. Uh, Spartas. The only nerdy cobalt. Still incredibly buff, but for first Twitch streaming and craft beer.

On a quest to find three people to play Arkham Harrow with them. Huh, yeah. If you want to hook up with Spartas, uh, let them know. Hipster cobalt. And I've got Adam R, a wizard with 20 strength. It doesn't help much with casting spells, but boy, can that dude outbench everyone else at the academy. Yeah, fuck them.

Fuck them. Why? Why? Alright, yeah fuck them. Fuck them. Brent B. No, I'm saying like fuck everyone out. Right.

Brent B. Taught Alonus magic. Not wizard magic though. I'm talking about magic the gathering. Alonus never quite understood the stacking order of instance and abilities, but Brent B. Storted her right out and now she's a tournament player. Murph just deleted an entire paragraph he was gonna read about Magic the Gathering. I know a lot of rules. Cassandra, MHB, once mined the Iron Deep Mountain so deep that it drew the admiration of one hard one's surefoot. Rumored to be one of the reasons

his ex broke up with him damn it And we've got Matthias of House crit the savior of hard one an old Cobb legally still named Matthew But is put in the paperwork to officially become Matthias as soon as Glateron starts having regular laws again Go be wow, I should also renounce his last name right whenever it is Good lot. You should also renounce his last name, right? Whatever it is. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. It's Rozel. Oh my God. Then we've got Ricky, tricky Ricky of the Cricky and Extreme Sports L who loves doing sticky icky Bong rips and the slickest sickest kick flips on the rips stick. Once kick flipped over off-guard while he was in full

crick-rot range. Oh. Risky. Risky. Risky, Ricky. Risky did mess around. I can't even do it. I was gonna do it.

It's risky to mess around. I'm a mess around. It's risky to mess around. So mess around. Okay. It's cricky. It's cricky. Keep that part.

Andrew R. Found Josh in the moonstone swamp. Still breathing. Have to throw him off the tower. But then he drowned him. Andrew R, you are a hero. tower, but then he drowned him. And who are you, are a hero? Yeah. You know the right thing.

Tell her, bless you. I always got cannibalistic, Kathulu, a terrifying deity of reckoning, remorse, who is also Stunkbugs therapists. Really helping Stunkbugs sort out all of the duttle trauma. Wow. Even therapists need therapists. Yeah. Then we got Michael McD, head mixologist at the Blumana Inn,

had a drink called the muddled duttle, but had to change the name because it became problematic after he tried to kill you guys. Yeah, I think that when it happens. It's actually short for McDorn Golds. Oh, yeah. We got a McQuannolds and a McDorn old suit speaking of weird fast food names.

We've got Blitzbrigg Demetri, famous dwerger who owns and runs the beloved franchise Dwerger's Big Borgher. Their version of a happy meal comes with a big dirty piece of iron ore. You get to mine it yourself. Victor T. Boundor's son, whose loving dad was ripped from his family and transported to another world, is currently on a quest to find out who did this and get revenge on whoever's responsible. Valnor must be returned to pay for his crimes. I hate my dad. Henry A.

Straight up stole Jonathan's dune buggy while it was parked outside the Glater on Glades. Nice. Just a criminal. It's so many fucking doughnuts. Penfield, the only Crick Elf who knows how to write In cursive. Damn. Oh. He got that fancy ride. And actin' like, you know who that is. Mo.

Finally, Mick. As he can write in cursive ball, he can write his mo. Finally, Mick Pucks, the code master, the digital hero who is tirelessly coding our website. He's also a level 20 wizard. So it's especially impressive that he's choosing to do it all manually instead of just willing it into existence. Just cast it. Yeah, just cast it. Just cast a wish spell, dude.

Alright, thank you to our council of elders, thank you to all of our listeners and our Patreon subscribers. Head on over to the Patreon to listen to the short rest, and we'll catch you guys next week. Have a good night's sleep. Bye-bye. over to the Patreon to listen to the short rest and we'll catch you guys next week. Have a good night's sleep. Bye bye! That was a Hate Gum podcast.