Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 26: The Creeping Fog (Tales From the Crick)
Episode Date: August 3, 2018The Band of Boobs prepare to set off into the fog, but a mysterious stranger complicates their plans. Beverly tries to fit in with Crick youngins, Hardwon bonds with Balnor, and Moonshine cha...nnels MeMaw. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music/Sound Effects include:"Club Chatter, London" by mlteenie at Freesound.org."Mystery of the Dark Forest" by Amadeusz Bartos at Freesound.org."Gypsy Violin Variation" by Howard Geisel at Freesound.org."Scary Ambiance" by ashleyxxpiano at Freesound.org."The Grand Maw Tree" by Emily Axford."Cured by the Light" by Emily Axford."Beverly's House" by Emily Axford."A Fate Refused" by Emily Axford."The Depths of the Dungeon" by Emily Axford."The Sultan of Stone" by Emily Axford."Friend Turned Foe" by Emily Axford."Slumber in the Stump" by Emily Axford."Into the Fog" by Emily Axford."A Hospitable Farewell" by Emily Axford."Befuddled & Befogged" by Emily Axford."Hazy Daze" by Emily Axford."Sumpin's A Mess Out West" by Emily Axford."Sumpin's Asunder Down Under" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Goodbye, Sweeties.
Welcome to the campaign after the campaign.
This is not another D&D podcast.
Welcome back to Bahumya, everyone.
Bahumya.
Bahumya. I'mia. Bahumia.
I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Herwitz.
Hard one, sure, foot.
Emily Axford.
Moonshan Sabin.
Hosen down the chosen.
Get him off my porch.
Get him off my porch.
Get him off my porch.
Get him off my garden hose.
And call the altar.
Beverly Togo, the fifth, your bag and bubble boy.
Oh. You're not in the bag yet.
Yes, not yet, but let's hope.
The boy's not out of the bag.
All right, you're ready for crits.
Let's get into our recap.
Last week, you guys completed your quest
in the elemental chaos, defeating big fire daddy
and all his children.
Beverly earned the favor of the fire Titan and can now call
upon his power in his time of need. You guys then broke from your trance and found yourself back
in the Crick. You heard a commotion over at the speaking stump where you found a group of chosen
attempting to convert Crick Elves and bring them back to Galatoron. Yipes.
The leader, a priest named Brother Albrecht,
used a scroll that allowed him to seemingly cure
cooter of his crick-rot.
Y'all, we gotta try to go through their stuff
see if they got any more scrolls in there.
Mm-hmm, yeah.
The crick-elves were impressed by this display,
but moonshine gave an impassioned speech,
urging her people not to abandon the crick
or trust the chosen. It was agreed that moonshine would
have one week to cure Cric rot.
After which whoever wanted to leave with the chosen may do so.
And good riddance. You don't need the Cric for the chosen.
We don't want you just kidding. I love y'all.
You got one week or they're going to turn the Cric into an
amusement park. Oh, no. You guys were then so mad and had a tense, private conversation with brother Albrick
and his chosen night escorts.
Seeing as he was now an official representative of Galatoron, you couldn't attack him without
endangering the crick.
So through Gritted Teeth, Munchine offered to let them stay in her stump while they wait
out the one week time limit.
Oh yeah, them breakfast, don't I?
It's an air being stumped.
You know, it just heat up some eggos.
You informed Mima about what was going on with the chosen.
You formulated a plan to start a whisper campaign and let the Crick Elves know about
Maribel and your plan to head into the fog without tipping off the chosen.
It was decided that moonshine and Mima would head
to the grandma tree to inform the elder and sick cricks,
while Beverly would inform the youngins
and hard one in Balnor would keep an eye on the chosen
in moonshine's stump.
As you all left to complete your tasks,
Mima asked for a word with moonshine
and revealed to moonshine that she herself
is suffering from crick-rott.
And that's where you are now.
So Beverly Hard one in Belnor have all gone off to their separate tasks and moonshine you
are in Mimaw stump with Mimaw and Mama.
Most of the activity today happened in the late morning slash early afternoon, so it's
starting to get into the late afternoon early evening.
moonshine you did cast pass without trace on these other guys right before they left.
Yeah. Okay. Thank you.
Oh, I think it's in that left and right.
Oh, yeah. We're gonna need that if we're gonna upper deck that toilet.
Oh, no. Can I specifically cast pass without trace on ball nor spot hole?
Yeah, but not pass without scent because you're gonna want it to stink up your stomp.
Please guys, ask without trace.
Ask without trace, please.
Absolutely disgusting.
Yeah, I did.
I would like to say that right now,
I'm probably just like overcompensating
because I know I just found out that Mima's sick,
so I'm kind of like doing that like overprotective child thing
where I'm like, do you need anything?
Can I whip you up some food, some tea?
Oh, I'm fine, I mean it's...
Mima, please let me, I can rub your feet.
I mean, it's mine right now, sure, and, you know,
a few weeks, maybe a month,
I'll be attacking and killing folks,
and I'm pretty strong, so it'll be bad.
But for now, I'm okay, young, and I'm okay.
I'm more concerned about you,
you're going into that fog, baby.
Me, ma, think about yourself.
Oh, you're, you are so hospitable.
This is why you got Krik Rock,
because you never think about yourself.
You know what? You're absolutely right. Do these hostile. You got crick-rocks. You never think about yourself. You know what?
You're absolutely right. I'm really deserve the death of you. I am willing to die for these people
These are my people the crick-ills, okay? I will have a spa day as soon as we cure crick-rock
I promise I will make time for self-care you and I
We're gonna go get a mani-penny
Beverly a hard one will be there
We'll get some mud baths. We'll get that good dirt. We'll get some of that good We're gonna go get a man in the head. Me, Beverly, a hard one will be there.
We'll get some mud baths.
We'll get that good dirt.
We'll get some of that good dirt.
I'm not here, but I just, you got a spa day.
Yeah, we're on report sports being like spa day.
So I'm gonna say spa day.
Yeah, I report sports every week.
We're getting a little far away.
It's just coming in spa day.
So we'll say spa.
Can I essentially report sports them
in e-vite to a spa day?
Yeah, of course. Oh nice
I'm like awesome. Bell knows like what is it?
Nothing, but I'm not invited to that report
We'll see if you know how his upper deck goes. Oh, I'm gonna earn it
I'm the part bacterial
So Mima says will
Should we get going over to the grandma tree? Yes, suppose we should.
All right, mama, pop-off.
Why don't you go ahead and gather up the old folk circle.
And mama goes, yes, of course, come my little scramble man.
And they both scamper off.
You know, Mima, this revelation about you being sick
really hurts my heart, but seeing my little scramble boy
become a scramble man.
They grow up so fast I'm telling you. it's a nice thing. It's a little blessing
Yeah, and did you know that since pop-aws bonded to you? He'll stay alive as long as you stay alive
My mom was hundred two years old. She's much older than you. Oh really? Yeah, he's gonna stay alive as long as I stay alive
Well, I mean he could could be killed. That feels like a threat.
That feels like a threat.
That almost feels like tell me you gotta stay alive.
Well, look out for yourself.
So if I'm, if I am to die,
pop, I was going to die.
Right now he is a little baby boy.
He's okay.
But if I, let's say wandered into a fire.
When you are like 75 years old,
that might be bad for your possum, yeah.
Oh, you got it.
There's too much of a chowder these days, Mima.
But you know what, I'm making it about me.
Come here, let me rub some lotion on your scalp.
I would actually really appreciate that.
They do get quite itchy.
Cool, so you guys leave Mima stomp,
old cobs out there waiting,
because he didn't really have a job,
so he figured he would just go with the other Crick Elves.
Hey, a student, enough of a distance
that I couldn't hear what was going on.
Do you, old cop find out about how she had a Crick Rat?
No, he was like, I'm gonna hide it from him.
It's too devastating, no need to know that, but me.
All cop looks at Mimaw, and he goes,
as an old man, I've seen a lot of my friends dying
everything and I'm just glad you're happy and healthy Mimani.
It's really good to see you, Julie.
I bite my fist like a cartoon character.
Sweet pea.
Mimani goes, oh yeah, it's so good to have you back, old Cobb.
You know, old friends, not too many of us around anymore, huh?
So you guys head over to the grandma tree, which of course is this giant ancient hollowed-out tree.
There is a big pelt hanging in the doorway as a curtain.
What kind of animal?
A cow.
It's always cow hiding.
Does it kind of match my vest?
Yes, it does.
Whoa.
They don't. I stand near it just so like people will kind of match my best? Yes, it does. Whoa. They don't.
I stand near it just so people can notice.
You see, Mimagos, I would comment on how you match the curtain, but do you have you
thought about maybe why we have a curtain up?
We usually don't have a curtain up.
Oh, I hadn't even thought of that.
Yeah, you haven't been in here yet, haven't you?
I'm sorry, I've been traveling and I've been learning privacy is like a thing that other
people do and so it's I guess kind of becoming normal to me, but I forgot that we don't usually
do these peltips.
Yeah, well young in the gramma tree ain't as nice as it used to be.
Cheap, pulls back the curtain and behind it is a very sad scene.
Now normally the grandma tree feels like this giant cozy lodge with an incredibly
high ceiling like a big tower. There are ladders and walkways to the
different levels throughout but right now it's full of sick crick elves. You
hear the echoes of coughing, you hear moans of pain, there are these makeshift
beds and
cots everywhere with dozens and dozens and dozens of cursed elves being
tended to, and you hear above you on one of the upper levels angry screams,
get off me, I'll kill you, I'll kill you all, I'll kill you all!
And you hear like the sounds of chains, like they're trying to chain somebody up
who has an advanced case.
But down here on the bottom level,
nobody's violent or anything, everybody's just sick.
You actually see Kooter.
Kooter's already back to work after being cured.
He's holding a cold compress to somebody's head.
And you see other volunteer helpers walking around
checking on people.
But the mood actually seems a little bit upbeat.
You hear people around chatting. You hear that there's a cure? I hadn't thought about
living in the city. Well, I don't know. I don't want to leave the creek, but we got
to accept, you know, the the creek ain't what it used to be when we were young and so that's
right. And what it used to be. Nothing's what it used to be.
You know, y'all, we can just keep happening from place to place
to ever promise us something
or we can make our home better.
You see one of the sick cricks looks seven goes,
hey moonshine, didn't you leave the crick?
Yes, for y'all.
You left it for us?
Yes, y'all know something they've been right at the crick.
Something to miss at the crick.
You hear just a bunch of people being like,
mm-hmm, something been right. Everybody's just muttering in months of self. Something to be right, something to miss at the crick. You hear just a bunch of people being like, mm-hmm, some may be right.
Everybody's just muttering,
months of self, some may rot, some's miss.
Yeah, and so I took my butt out there
to find a way to fix this and then,
oh, y'all wanna bail on it.
Oh, you know what?
Y'all, I think we need to sing along.
Ha ha ha.
What do you want to sing?
I don't know.
I don't know.
But you know, maybe we don't need to sing along.
I'll just wait about New Betsy.
And I just play a real sad song.
You see all the crickets start crying.
Why are you making us?
This is making me think about dying.
You see this dude with scabs all over him?
This is making me mad. This is making me real mad.
Somebody else holds him down and starts trying to calm him down.
Okay, y'all, do you remember that crawfish boil?
A couple of years back, we all got food poisoning.
Yeah, you're gonna need to be more specific,
Boone Chin, but we're a lot of those.
Yeah, the one that was real bad.
Oh, the bad one, the bad daddy's he called him.
We used those undead crawfish and everyone got real sick. Oh, the bad one, the bad daddy's he called him. He used those undead crawfish and everyone got real sick.
Oh yeah.
And we all thought that it was gonna be,
oh, we can't fix this ever.
We're all gonna be shitting and vomiting
and for the rest of our lives.
Yeah, that was pretty bad.
Adude's arm falls off.
I don't know.
You know, this analogy I turned to Mimma.
I don't know what to talk to these people.
Mima goes, we're gonna make an announcement,
everybody, we can just tell them the truth.
Oh, God, I forgot, I just panicked
because everyone started talking shit about the crick.
Sweetheart, they're not talking shit about the crick,
they're scared, they're sick.
Look at these people.
Mima, just for a day with your patients.
I just, hey, that's why I'm the me ma. Oh, no, you don't get
to, you don't get to be 325 years old without learning a little patience. Yeah, you're right. Okay,
I take a deep breath and I say, you know what? We got to start over and I exit and then I walk back.
You walk back in and mom on pop-off show at the same time with the old folk circle. And you walk back in and mom on pop-off show at the same time with the old folk
circle and you walk back in with this whole little entourage and you hear the
smattering of applause oh wow oh she wow that was quick she came out with a
little entourage got people like a wedding entrance yeah okay should we do this
me ma I think there's there's no better time than now. You know what?
All right.
Mom, Mom, why don't you poke your head outside
and make sure none of them chosen
or sniffing around.
Mom, Mom goes, yes, mother.
And she scrambles out.
She's scrambler than Papa,
as like articulate and everything that she is.
She's just like scrambling on the floor,
slipping around as she runs out.
All right, y'all. I'm very sorry that I have been letting my emotions get the best of me
and I've been acting quite contentious with you, my best friends, my people.
But we all got a little chit chat.
What do you want a chat about, moonshine?
We know what's causing Quick Rock.
You hear a collective gasp.
And then you hear it from upstairs.
What?
What's everybody talking about?
Oh, okay.
I'm sorry.
Let me raise my voice.
We know what's causing Quick Rock.
You hear echoes from upstairs with little gasping.
People from above on the different levels all poke their heads out and you have this wrapped
audience of these people sticking their heads out all throughout the tree.
Most of y'all are probably too young to know, but me ma had a sister, her name is Maribel.
Some of y'all might recognize that name.
You see some of the older cricks kind of lower their heads and like look away and look worried
Like they know kind of not to talk about Maribel.
Let's just say she made some unsavory friendships
She struck a few unsavory deals and now she's using them powers and them abilities on us to take out some kind of revenge
She's in the fog and me and my two friends who I know y'all like can I get can I hear it for Beverly and Hardwall?
Yeah, they're good. They're cool and you're one guy whose arms just fell off. I didn't get to meet him up and in the tree
We're going into the fog tomorrow. We're finding Mary Bell and we are putting an end to Crick-Rot
the Crick-Rops are all like very serious now and
The Crick-Rot. The Crick-Obs are all like very serious now.
And nobody's like,
hollarin' or clapping or anything like that.
Everybody's just kind of solemnly nodding.
And then you see this young and who's got
this really bad Crick-Rot,
looks up from his bed and goes,
well I believe in you, Moonshan.
I think you can do it. And then you
hear another person go, yeah Moonshan strong, she's one of the best droods we have. And you
hear somebody else go, she's just as strong as me Maul, she's gonna be able to do it. And
you hear these echoes of people. I'm gonna say y'all, I don't need y'all to believe in me,
I need y'all to believe in yourselves right now. And I just y'all, I just need you to believe
in a cure. Keep all that positive energy for yourself and just get through the next
week. And Mimago's and obviously nobody says a word about this to those chosen
folk because they they may not have the best intentions. Don't trust anybody
that wants to take you out of the creek right now. I was in Galator on during their civil war and their means are
not honorable. And you see Kooter nods and he goes, yeah they cured me but just
because somebody helps you out doesn't necessarily mean they always have the
best intention. Some people are manipulative. Yeah think about all those
gnomes riding on the outskirts of this this crack. Yeah there are a lot of traveling wizards that come through and
you know what a lot of times they don't mean what they say. No they got
sleeves full of tricks. I'm gonna take me I'm gonna take me my side for one second
and just say you know me my I always thought that I would follow in your footsteps and sort of become the meme all
someday, but I don't think I'm, I don't think I'm cut out for this political stuff.
Moonshine, you make your own way.
Yeah, I think my way, your way.
You gotta be your own druid.
You can help your people in your way.
Yeah, I think, yeah, I don't think I think we got to be grooming another later
You know mom all's quite ambitious
First ever possum me ma
Oh, I like that that would be really big so meanwhile
Just outside
Beverly is near this big bonfire Beverly's probably been that nervously
Watching the Crick elf youngins
Running around playing so Beverly you see a bunch of youngins playing they have a another giant stick that's on fire
There's a few Crick bully wugs and a few Crick elf youngins just running around playing let's play chosen first bad guys
I'll be the chosen you be the bad guy! Oh, that's reductive, but I can understand how you draw that conclusion.
What are you saying, kid?
Um, how about we all play another game?
What, you want to play Fire Stick?
No, I think that you get the Fire Stick!
Oh, throw the giant Fire Stick to you.
I'm resistance.
Now try to hit us!
Uh, actually, you know what?
Since I'm resistant to Fire Now, can I like grab it by the fire end and try to hit us. Actually, you know what? Since I'm resistant to fire now,
can I like grab it by the fire end
and try to impress them?
Yes, definitely.
You're able to kind of grimace,
but still fucking hang on to this burning branch
and all the kids go,
what, that's your crazy kid?
How'd you do that?
Guess I got a little bit of that crazy in me after all.
How'd you touch that fire? I've got some cool friends that quick crazy in me after all. I have to touch that fire.
I've got some cool friends that taught me how to do it.
Suddenly you hear adult P-Tree approaching from behind you.
You know, what are you doing?
Grab and fire.
You hold it from the non-fire into the stick.
Now get in the time out bag and he grabs everything
and he puts all the bag.
Get in the bag.
There's already a quick bully walk in there.
You feel frog lips trying to kiss you.
I shout, if you want to learn how to do it, get in the time out bag. Yeah, we want to get in the time out bag. There's already a crick-bulley walk in there. You feel frog lips trying to kiss you. I shout, if you want to learn how to do it,
get in the timeout bag.
Yeah, we want to get in the timeout bag.
You see all of these young and start piling in
and peACHY just like, hey, hey, get back.
Get back. This is for the kids that are in timeout.
You're supposed to be good kids.
It's time for severly minutes with Beverly.
So Beverly, you're in there with all of these young and they all pile into the bag with Beverly. So Beverly, you're in there with all of these youngins.
They all pile into the bag with you.
Petri falls over.
He is sufficiently crushed by this bag full of like 10 kids.
Wonderful.
We're all in the fort.
I've got some important information to share with you.
Can I trust you?
Oh, yeah.
All right.
You're the fire leader.
Yes.
And as your fire daddy, you need to listen to me.
There's some important information
I need to tell you about the chosen and specifically about Crick-Rot. Now I know that maybe some of your
parents and your relatives and your, well you might think that you're, I don't know if you even
know who your dad is but like all the, you know, like father figures and mother figures around here,
they might not have been telling you the whole story. You see, and I guess, since we've talked about this already,
I gotta repeat everything that Moon China said.
Cool, give me, go ahead and give me a persuasion check
with advantage.
Ooh, all right, 19.
Plus, persuasion is seven, so.
Amazing, 26.
So you see these kids are super wrapped up in this story and they're just pumped to be
Involved into kind of know what's going on and also it's an awesome story like I don't know who wrote this
These kids are enthralled and they go so those so those chosen guys are here to trick us
That's right, we should go kill him, right?
No, I've got a better idea.
Okay.
Now, when I first got here, I tried to enlist you in the green teens.
But now, I realize that Crick Kids are a little different.
And I think we need to start a new organization.
How would you feel about joining the Cricketeers?
The Cricketeers will then you gotta be a Crick-A-O-F-To-Be-In-The Crick-A-Tears?
That's right! Can I be an honorary crick-elf?
Yeah!
You see all of the kids just uh, they wrestle you out of the bag and they all hold you down and they oh
They bend your ears and start tying like twit like strings or have your ears to make them boil
And so you look like an L. Okay, super painful, but also cute and endearing
Now as they make you this makeshift elf ears.
Now, here's the thing about me.
I'm not always the best at pranks,
but you cricket tears, you know how to prank.
That's right.
And what you need to do is to watch out for all the adults
and the older folk around here,
but also when nobody's looking,
just prank those chosen something fierce.
You got it!
We'll hit it with the fire stick!
I'm gonna do what you did!
Maybe one of them puts their hands in the fire.
You're not ready to be a fire daddy.
Not yet!
That's the final test!
Someday!
Someday!
Someday!
I'm relying on all of you to keep this side of the crick safe while we're awake, because
we're going into the fog, because we're gonna try and find Meribel and we're gonna put it into this crick rot
And then the chosen one even need to be here
But I want you to make the chosen stay as unpleasant as possible while we're gone
You got it. We're gonna go up or dick there toilet
And you see you bunch of the young insa go and run off. Ha, Melora speed
And you see a bunch of the young ins go and run off. Ah, Melora speed.
Go ahead.
Oh, I'm glad he didn't cheat on Erlin in there, Vax.
Oh, no, no, no.
Your lips were moving so fast, Chatton, you know?
I observed as they all had a smoothorgy.
I was just kind of like the, the, the, the matum.
Like, you do some ideas.
Yeah, some interesting techniques.
Precisely.
That's one of the, yeah, that's definitely one of the cricket tier badges, the smooching.
Yeah.
So meanwhile, hard one and bound or are you guys sneak it up to Moonshine's stump?
Yeah, we're gonna sneak up and just get to the joint.
So as you approach your round, a bunch of other Crick Elves and everything, so you guys
aren't super noticeable.
First off, are you going to keep your plate armor on or you're gonna take it off because you're gonna have disadvantage on stealth
If you if you keep it on I shall take it off you go full you off cool
You're in your normal clothes you've got AC
17 now because you got the plus one from your naturally thick skin now
Because you got your cell throws you got plus 10
Ooh, and you got plus 10. And you got plus 10.
So go ahead as you approach Moon Shine Stomp,
go ahead and give me a stealth roll
to kind of hide off to the side.
26.
That is a good roll.
Now I'm gonna roll for Valnor.
Come on Valnor.
Oh hell yeah, he did great.
He got a 25 Valnor.
You see Valnor slips into the shadows.
Like a full cat burglar.
This is like when I would sneak down stairs
to get a turkey sandwich out of the fridge.
It's not like my wife.
Boundlord, you remember something from your past?
He has a thousand yard stair.
I had a wife.
I had turkey.
I had a sandwich.
All right, later for this bell.
Wait, no, it was a turkey sandwich. It had mayo on it. How does Sandwich? All right, later for this film.
Wait, no, it was a turkey sandwich.
It had mayo on it.
So you see moonshine stump.
There are a few windows.
You can see the light on inside from a fire, and you can smell plain oatmeal being boiled.
There's no door, because with crick stumps you enter from above through a little hatch.
So there's actually one that shows a night
sitting on top of the stump acting as a guard,
but he looks pretty bored.
It doesn't look like he takes the Crick Elves very seriously.
Let me go ahead and do a role and see how his perception is.
Not nearly good enough to see you guys.
So how do you kind of want to approach?
Do you want to just do you want to like peek in the window or do you want to be next to the window so you can hear stuff or what?
I think one is, uh, slide it up on either side of the window, crouching, and just listen
for right now. Okay. Ballonore and hard one. Get up to one of the windows and you guys
are just hiding underneath it. So you guys haven't seen anything yet.
But you hear a male voice go, brother, is it really necessary that we stay for a whole
week, this place is disgusting? And you hear brother Albrick goes, we have to earn their
trust. They don't want to leave so we shouldn't make them. This way it looks like it was their
idea. Now the Crick Elves have been long overlooked.
There are many potential followers of the light here.
Can you imagine with the proper training,
the Allah could have thousands of soldiers?
And suddenly, as you're sitting there listening to these guys,
you see a bunch of Crick young and running towards moonshine stump.
You see a bunch of Crick Youngins running towards moonshine stump. Sn a five on their perception check so they do not see hard one or anything weird as
these youngins run up and you see a bunch of them start banging on the door
hey mr. Chosen hey we want to say how do you we want your autograph. And as you're
walking away you hear one of these Chosen guys go, oh I guess fine let's answer the door
and tell them to go away. You see they all turn to go by and a couple of the crick young
and it's like start jumping in the windows. You see the guy on top of the stump goes, hey
what are you doing? Hey you can't go in there and you hear like, how get this toilet,
get to the toilet?
I open the door.
You see them just throwing these kids up.
Hey, get away.
Put your pants on.
Hey, do not defigate in here.
Do not defigate in here.
And they start throwing all these people around.
It's tears for life.
There's just this crazy cacophony of screams
as these youngins attempt to not so subtly upper deck the toilet,
but they're quickly thrown out of the stump. And you also see one of the chosen nights
during all of this is holding a bag and takes off walking into the woods, but you see the rest of
them go back into the stump. Holding a bag, exquease being.
I'm gonna follow him.
What do you think's in that bag?
I think there's any sandwiches in there.
I think I didn't get any of that oatmeal with them.
Yeah, Balnor, let's pretend that there's oatmeal in the bag
and that'll keep you focused, right?
We might, he smiles devilishly.
We might not have to pretend to brother. That's right. There is plain oatmeal in that bag, Valnor.
Let's go get it. We can only hope, man.
In Valnor, do an elaborate secret handshake.
Go ahead and give me another stealth check as you follow this one chosen night into the woods.
That was the 22.
one chosen night into the woods. That was the 22.
Cool.
So you and Boundor are able to sneak up.
This night goes into the woods.
And you find like a nice bush that you guys can hide behind.
And you watch this person.
And you see they put their bag down.
They take their helm off.
And it's a woman.
And she's got long brown hair and brown eyes.
She's like six feet tall. She's very tall for a woman. And she's got long brown hair and brown eyes. She's like six feet tall.
She's very tall for a woman.
And you see her take out like camping supplies.
Like she takes out a tent and she starts hammering a stake
into the ground.
And as she's doing it, you see she slips up
and she hits her thumb and you see her eyes
go from brown to up and she hits her thumb and you see her eyes go from brown
to yellow and she goes, damn it, fucking shit dude, fuck!
And then her eyes go back to brown and she goes, ah, ah, praise the light, praise the light,
the yellow, the yellow keep me, and then she goes goes back to knocking the spikes into the ground.
That wasn't normal, was it?
That was kind of strange.
Her eyes turned yellow.
Things you got some bad old meal or whatever.
When do you think they're going to take out to you?
Frankly, you're discussing the old meal a little too much.
They were making it inside the stump.
She wouldn't, you think she'd bring some with her?'t believe Val Nora Crawfish. Here, if you're hungry. The best
parts of the brown. And let's keep on watching her. She starts putting the tent up. I'm
going to have her do another perception check to try to find you. She rolls very poorly.
You see her finish setting up the tent. And then you see her go inside the tent and you hear chewing.
She's got oatmeal there.
What do you, that sounds like a meaty chew for oatmeal.
Really?
Could be steel cut.
I think you think it's more than oatmeal that she's eating.
I mean listen to those, listen to those snacks.
You think it's a sandwich, you don't need a chew oatmeal brother.
You just slurped it up.
Yeah, just slurped it right up.
Is the flappa for tent closed?
Or can we try to flip it?
Flap of tent is closed.
I guess I'm gonna go open it up.
You just get a lock right in the tent. I'm just gonna go and say up. You just get a lot of cramp in the tent.
I'm just gonna go and say, hey, I noticed you left town.
Okay, so as you poke your head in, you see she quickly lowers whatever she was eating.
She turns to you.
She's got the yellow eyes again and she goes, what's your deal, man?
You want to go?
You want to go, dude?
No.
Not at all. She instantly snaps out of it.
Her eyes are brown again.
You see, she uses her hand to cover her eyes
and she goes, ah, what are you doing here?
Well, I just, I saw that you were,
you left the stump and I just wanted to warn you,
those young kids were upper deck in your toilet.
I just thought it was the friendly thing to do.
I appreciate you telling me that. Thank you for the report. But judging from our conversation
earlier, I think that maybe we're not on the same side. So I'd be more comfortable if
you were to... No, we're not on the same side. But you know, nobody wants to have their toilet
upper deck. We want it to be uneven playing around.
Balnor pokes his head in. Yeah. And the last thing you want is to be eaten oatmeal,
and you smell a smelly dumb coming from the top of your toilet
of all places.
Yep.
This is Balnor the Brave.
Have you met?
How are you doing?
Yes, we were all there before.
Do you have any oatmeal?
Balnor is weary.
He is hungry.
Listen, I really can't be seen with you. Of course.
Alright, well, carry on.
I assume you're sleeping here tonight for some reason.
The chosen aren't comfortable with, you know, women being in the same area as them when
they're sleeping.
We're very religious.
Awesome.
Sounds like cool dudes to me. We're very religious. Awesome. Sounds like cool dudes to me.
They're really good. I like them.
I have much respect for Brother Albrecht and all of these guys.
What are all of them? I would never say that.
Well, carry on. Namaste. I honor you. Cheerio.
Okay.
I'm being Balnor and go back to camp.
Balnor and hard one exit.
I'm assuming you guys can all
can meet around the fire by Lake the Grand Motry.
Yeah.
Time to regroup.
Hey guys, I saw something weird with Balnor.
Oh yeah.
We were spying on this chosen night
and she kind of
her eyes turned yellow and she seemed like she was insane for a spell then she was normal again.
Huh. Huh.
Boughts on that?
Mima? Sound familiar at all?
I don't I mean there are many curses and she could have a demon in her.
Always the moon. What's the moon cycle like right now?
She could have a demon in her. Oh, it's the moon.
What's the moon cycle like right now?
I think it's getting pretty close to the full moon.
I think it's a waxing gibbous moon.
Oh, waxing gibbous.
I'm saying if we're dealing with some sort of lupine last.
Hmm.
You think it's Meribel?
No.
Meribel?
Oh, I was thinking maybe it have some kind of werewolf.
Oh, you thought she was a werewolf?
I don't know, for either.
I thought maybe she was being controlled by theala.
Oh, that's also possibility.
I don't like inthropy isn't really theala's bag from my understanding.
But it might not be like inthropy.
I'm just saying, oh, if it's going to be a full moon and her emotions and rage are going crazy. She was definitely enraged. Yeah. You see me,
Ma says, is this something we should be concerned about? Yeah, thanks. So she's going to be camping
out, round the creek. Probably worth keeping an eye on. And the kids are definitely drawing
their eye or just a little bit. Well, where would they get the,
we gotta put those kids in the timeout bag.
I don't know where they would get the idea to,
I think they get the ideas in the timeout bag.
That sounds the same, Mima.
It's kind of a breeding ground.
Literally a breeding ground.
We gotta change though, you know what,
we've been raising our kids same way for 700, 800 years.
Here's the bunch of little bags.
A few individual timeout bags.
We need you wool timeout bags. If few individual time out bags. In a few, you will tell them out bags.
If you need some lessons on how to discipline children, I'm your guy.
I have got a encyclopedia's worth of knowledge from my own personal history.
Nothing like installing a nice hard work ethic in the kids.
Now if you want to straighten narrow.
Yeah, that's right.
You know, with my Bobby, and you see Boundor looks off.
Who's Bobby?
Boundor, you are remembering a lot of stuff today.
You get hit.
Boundor is just hench Hill.
I just smelled oatmeal.
Suddenly so many things came back to me.
I smell as one of your strongest senses.
It's tied to your memory.
Yeah.
I start waftting stuff at him
to see if he triggers any memories. He just barfs a little bit. Oh sorry. Oh y'all, do I see any
berry bushes nearby? Uh yeah go ahead and roll roll like a nature check. Okay. Seven. Seven. Yeah
there are some like real bright red berries. Well I I'm gonna cast a spell on them, so I don't think it matters if they're poisonous.
I grabbed 10 berries and I cast good berry on them.
Okay.
Tell ya.
So, these are for 24 hours.
We can pop one of these in our own mouth, or in someone else's for one hit point.
I'm divvying them up, so everyone take two.
I'm gonna take two.
If you know, if one of us goes
down at least we can shove a berry in each other's mouths. Nice and during the
hit. Yeah for the next 24 hours. I'm accidentally almost popping in my mouth.
I didn't remember. Yeah yeah not yet. Okay Beverly thinks it's the oatmeal
plane until tomorrow. Just looks so good., you throw a strawberry in that oatmeal.
Actually, I have Duttle Strawberry.
I'm gonna hang on to this.
Balmy already said.
No, wait.
I still believe that has some sort of magic healing.
Mimas, are anything else that we can do for you?
There's nothing you can do for me.
All are the ones that we're going into the fog tomorrow.
So, what do you guys just do what you need to do to prepare? I do have one request. We have a bit of a tradition before we go into battle.
We like to sleep in one big bed together.
Would you be able to accommodate us?
Absolutely. I got a big enough bed for y'all.
One big stump.
One big stump. One big stump. One big stump. One big stump. One big stump.
Where are we going to find one big stump in the fog? So you guys go back to me, Maus stump.
So before we go to bed, I'm going to wild shape into a wolf and go to the outskirts of
town where that woman set up camp. Yes. And then go and smell if she smells like,
if she smells like a familiar scent,
like another wolf to me.
Okay.
We're trying wild shapes into a wolf.
What a male wolf with a huge egg.
Right.
Do you have so red?
Do you have so red?
Do you have pasta without trace on yourself right now?
Yeah.
Okay.
Go ahead and roll a stealth roll. Wait, can be wearing my my leaf boots on his back to no
Absolutely, what about hanging him around his neck no, so I don't get my advantage. Don't get your advantage now
19 19
Okay, is anyone else going or is it just moonshine going as a wolf? I think moonshine. Yeah, you can probably go alone. I will I'm I feel like we would walk
Sort of behind she's gonna go ahead. Yeah, I'm gonna do it at her signal. Be ready to help do a perimeter. Yeah, yeah
Yeah, I'm pretty much just gonna go try and stealth up get a big old masterful and then head back
How will if you need us? Yeah. Okay. Oh yeah, hell yeah.
As you get close, go ahead and give me a perception check.
Before she goes, I scratch her ears for good luck.
You're a good boy with a big old dick.
I got it.
That will pass big dick energy.
I was gonna say that my wolf has a vicious V.
You're wolf has big dick energy.
As you get near her tent, you see her start to poke her head out and she's got these yellow
eyes and she's looking around and you as a wolf can kind of smell that something's up.
But do I smell does she smell like another wolf?
She smells like another wolf.
All right.
Okay, theory confirmed.
Head back. That bitch is a wolf. All right. Okay, theory confirmed.
Head back, that bitch is a wolf.
All right.
What does that mean for us?
That means we can't go to sleep.
But when this wolf's gonna wake up
and terrorize the fuckin' crazy.
Yeah.
Seems like we might need to lay the fog trip just a bit.
I don't wanna kill her or anything like that though.
I mean, if she's facing a curse,
my people are facing a curse. I don't wanna, I'd or anything like that though. I mean if she's facing a curse, my people are facing a curse.
I don't want to, I'd like to just help her through it.
Should we go up to her and say,
we know you're aware Wolf,
we know you don't want to hurt anyone.
How can we help you?
Sure.
Is that a wild plan?
That's not terrible.
Not our worst.
We can kill her pretty easily if we need to.
Okay. Well we shouldn't do that because again, a civil war.
We don't want that.
Yeah, but we can hire her body for a day.
Yeah, that's true.
We could burn ease it.
Yeah.
So should we bring some kind of all of branch
or just walk over?
Let's just walk over, right?
Yeah.
What a wolf's like.
We could bring her a collar.
We could bring her some meat.
That's demeaning, yeah.
I thought so.
Do you have any ham hawks? Perhaps a big chunk of meat. meaning, yeah. I thought so. Okay. Do you have any ham hawks?
Perhaps a big chunk of meat.
Yeah, we got ham hawks.
Okay.
Oh, yeah, go grab a ham hawk.
I'm sorry, we mostly have fish around here.
When you said ham hawk,
I thought you meant flounder for a.
I don't know why you would make that mistake.
You're understandable.
Okay.
Yeah, this is going to be a good one.
Cool, as you get close to the tent,
you see she instantly pops out
and you see she pulls out like a horn,
like a war horn to like blow it, like an alarm.
And she goes, what are you doing here?
I already talked to our friend over here with the beard.
What is it with you people?
No need for horns.
Sorry, yeah.
No need for the horn.
Maybe lay down our weapons.
Yeah, yeah, we lay down our weapons.
Okay.
And we say, we know what's going on.
We know that you don't want to hurt anyone.
We're here to ask you, what do you need to support you
while you go through this transition?
What transition?
What are you talking about?
I'm a chosen of theala and I'm here because I'm a woman
and because the religious guys can't be around me.
That is all weird, okay?
That is all super hot.
They're weird.
It is really sexy.
That's right.
But this all tracks, right?
I saw, I'm a nymphomaniac, okay?
I can't get enough of it. I love having sex and
I'm on a sex so that's why
Every time that we go to you got to go away because I might I might try to have sex with you
I might do it. I might try
Yeah, I was thinking about you damn your eyes were yellow. Yeah, yeah. That's all your eyes go yellow. Oh, it's thinking about you. Damn, your eyes were yellow.
You're so, you're a fucking wolf.
Yeah, we know you're a weird wolf.
As soon as you say that, you see her eyes go yellow
and she goes, what the fuck told you?
Oh, kick his ass.
Oh, kick his ass.
Jesus, just really obvious.
That's all.
She snaps out of it.
Oh, I guess it is pretty obvious.
Super obvious.
I have a curse, okay?
Someday, I'm going to meet Theala and she's going to cure me.
Is that why you joined the Chosen?
There are a lot of reasons that I joined the Chosen, but
I need to be in Theala's good graces. I'm sorry. You all seem like really nice people,
but I have to do what I have to do. You all have to do what you have to do.
We can't be friends.
Well, we don't have to be enemies either.
What's your name, ma'am?
My name is Luna.
Luna.
Let me ask you a question.
Well, let me, let me ask you.
Let me ask you, are you the type of person
who waits for everything to be handed to you?
No. Because me and my band of boobs right here, Are you the type of person who waits for everything to be handed to you? No
Because me and my band of boobs right here. We've been walking around Bahumia writing all these wrongs ourselves
We went to Ezri we went to Munstown. We went to Galatoron and here we are at the creek ready to defend
our people and to make to be the change we wish to see in the world
Oh my look that is such a good quote be the change you wish to see in the world. Oh my, that is such a good quote.
Be the change you wish to see in the world.
I came up with it.
I'm just not on a pillow in your house.
Oh, I can't read.
Yeah, the pillow said mo.
But here you are just camping in the woods,
not able to help yourself.
Hey, not even, you can't even get yourself laid out here
and I know how much you love it.
I'm not actually an infomeranian.
That was an excuse because, but now you know I'm aware.
I'm not an infeater, man.
I like, look, I'm not.
I kissed a bird.
Okay.
I kissed a fucking bird in his way.
It's been a weird trip.
I'm from Ezri.
Really?
Yes, I'm from the outer rim of the rim.
You know my ex, Reeva.
Do you know Stumpug?
I don't know Stumpug.
Blue Man, are you in there?
What about Juan?
A.K. Hard Juan.
She looks at Beverly and she goes,
you, sorry to say this,
but you look kind of like a bubble boy.
I was from the outer rim.
I get that a lot.
I'm actually a bad boy now.
Right, cool.
He looks teeth.
The chosen can help me, and I don't think there's anything
that you all can do for me.
But what if, what if who you are is okay?
What if you don't need to be helped?
Give me a persuasion check.
I got a 17.
17.
You guys see that your words have moved her.
She kind of looks down and averts your gaze and she goes, I could have hurt someone, okay?
It's not that simple.
Okay, all right.
We want to do what we can to give you a way out.
Well, we are going into the fog tomorrow morning.
If you feel so inclined,
if tonight turns your mind,
then you can join us.
There's an open invitation.
We do not see you as a liability.
Yeah, we're a bunch of screw ups as is.
So suddenly you see a torch in the distance heading towards you.
Okay, we got run-away.
Into the woods. I say, Luna,
there's that respect for you, run.
Yes, you should go.
You should run away.
Here, take my business card.
She takes your business card.
And you hear a voice, you hear,
are you at Luna?
All Breck told me to check on you.
And you hear the voice of like one of the chosen nights,
walk towards her tent, as you guys high-tail it out of there.
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And you guys presumably go back to Mimaw's place.
Yeah.
So you guys get back to Mimaw's style.
We forgot to ask if the other chosen no, she's a werewolf.
I assume they do.
They do, yeah.
If they're making her sleep in a tent.
Well, I thought she was doing that because she was a woman
and they're all sex weirdos.
I think she was lying.
Yeah.
Okay.
I see.
All right.
We did what we could.
It doesn't sound like she's gonna hurt the crick.
Hard ones already asleep.
I stay up to make some uh, Crick Javillins.
Oh yeah, we got some bamboo.
Alright, yeah, I use bamboo to make some Crick Javillins.
Does that lure have a beard?
He has a mustache.
Oh, there you go.
I've got a mustache, son.
I'm gonna do a little braiden as mustache.
Oh, this warfin' braid.
Oh, beautiful.
What's in beads in there?
Oh, it hurts. That's how you worth it, Brad. Oh, beautiful. What's in beads in there? Oh, it hurts.
That's how you know it's working.
I'm definitely just like one long corn row.
This is a good knot, that'll hold in battle.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Bound North appeared it.
Oh, it's it, he sneezes.
It's you.
Ha.
It comes on me.
Or he does a really loud dad sneeze.
Ha, ha.
Ha, ha.
That's you.
All right, so now I can go to sleep.
Now that I've braided down the worst mustache
You guys sleep like face down playing style because I'm so devastated by life today was a bad day in the life of moonshine
I'm gonna like my nose is like flattened against my face. I checkered to see if she's breathing. I'm barely breathing
Papa keeps trying to get onto your face.
I say, Papa, I'm a terrible leader
and the Laura's abandon me.
And why shouldn't she?
I ain't got shit to offer.
I guess I kind of like jigsaw myself
in between hard one and ball nor.
Yeah, Mima and Mama are also there.
Everyone's just in bed together
The biggest bed yet much too small for everyone's like a wrestling ring
But yeah, you guys you guys wake up the next morning. All right. I'm braiding my beard into nice tight braids
Can I get like a little ponytail hard one? Yeah, okay. Oh hell. Yeah. Oh nice
Yeah, you know what I'm gonna go for some quick war knots. Yeah, I want like a hair too. Oh, me mago's. Oh, we can give you the old school
war paint. Oh hell yeah. Yeah. We all get painted. Yeah. They paint you guys. Oh, yeah.
I want to do like barbarian war paint all over your face. Yeah. I want like barbarian mud.
Like almost like little like almost look like a girl going to Coachella, but yes
Yes, but like not for Instagram. Yeah, like not for Instagram for vengeance. I take all my teeth and I put them on a necklace and I put it on
Don't Wow, all right
Okay, I think I'm gonna like Irish goodbye. I think my people don't want to see me
so Hey, I think I'm gonna like Irish goodbye. I think my people don't wanna see me. So, Mima, Mama, take you guys,
and you guys head over to the west side of the creek.
And when you guys get there,
you see that the old folks and cooter
and dozens of Crick Elves are there waiting for you,
even like super sick ones that are on like crutches
can barely hold themselves up.
And as you guys get near them, you hear them clapping.
Yeah!
Cool.
Y'all can do it!
You're gonna cure crick-rots!
You're gonna do it!
That scene in Armageddon where they're all walking
out in the astronaut's beautiful place.
It's like that scene in Armageddon.
We have that on VHS!
Can we also do the scene where someone plays
with animal crackers on someone's stomach?
That's what, that was me in Belnor.
But with oatmeal.
Is Aerosmith Play?
I don't want to close my eyes.
So Mima goes, now remember youngins, don't use your elemental powers until you face Maribel. You won't stand a chance against her without it.
You got it. Okay. You all are the only hope we got, but we got a lot of faith in you, okay. Moonshot, I want you to take this.
And she hands you a little vial of green liquid. Oh, is this a ectocooler? Kind of. So you put that on your cloak and it'll die at green.
Just to send a little message to Maribel that even though I'm not there, I'm coming for her.
Okay, you should.
Right thing. I pour it all over my cloak.
It's all over. Instantly magically dies green.
And then you see Mima walks over to one of the old folks who's got this like big wooden case
She walks over and she opens it and she goes and Cobb take your dang magic gun back
And you see she pulls out this blunder bus that's sparkling with arcane energy
And you see all coves eyes widen and Mimaw goes
energy. And you see, uh, all coves eyes widen and Mima goes,
gave me this speech a long time ago about how he didn't need it anymore. And he's retiring said to hand it down to someone else.
But now he's out here running with you young and so Cobb, take it
back. One last cup.
Last cup.
Can Belnor have his old one?
No, you want me to give my gun a balnor?
Yeah, I think we don't put guns in the hands
of people who have been, you know, been through training.
We've passed a couple of backgrounds.
Balnor, why don't you put this in your pack,
but you can, you can take it for now.
I don't think Balnor could pass a background check
considering he doesn't know what his past is.
That's true, I do support strong background checks.
Balnor takes it, I like this. This makes me feel strong. That's true, I do support strong background. Yes.
Belinore tastes good. I like this.
This makes me feel strong.
I feel like, oh no.
My penis is big now.
What am I talking about?
That is the appeal.
He takes the gun and he puts it in his bag.
Please know my intentions were good.
So you guys see, as you guys are talking to Mima
and Cobb and everyone getting ready to go into the fog,
suddenly you see Luna emerges from the trees
and she goes,
I don't know that we're on the same side,
but I know that a true follower of the light
would be working to eradicate evil
and whatever's in that fog is evil.
I told Brother Albrick that I'd be tracking you all today
and if that means I have to follow you in there,
so be it.
I'm gonna do a quick sense motive.
Go ahead.
Oh.
To make sure that she is on earth.
Is that a spell you have?
No, it's just, no it's a roll.
Oh, okay.
What is it?
Go ahead and do an insight check.
Smart.
While you're doing that,
I'm gonna start braiding her hair.
21.
She seems to be skeptical of you guys, but like she legitimately wants to do the right thing.
She seems like she's being sincere. Okay. We all have some to fight for. Cool.
Uh, the knot goes like this. Oh, okay. Yeah. I say, yeah, I'll go over and start an honor here too Don't touch my hair. You see her eyes go yellow for a second. All right, right? Okay, okay
We get see we get familiar fast around here maybe just a high pony then a high pony would be great actually
So as you guys prepare to enter this fog suddenly you see a figure running towards you in the distance
So I shoot it, I'm scared.
As it gets closer, you see that it's a Crick Elf with terrible Crick rot.
Moonshine, you recognize this to be Melf.
And you hear all the Crick Elfs that were sending you guys off and everything or just like,
Melf?
Oh my God, Melf!
Melf!
You guys see, Melf runs out of the fog, collapses on the ground.
Out of the fog?
Out of the fog and begins convulsing.
You see, he has two giant, deeply infected fang marks
on his chest.
No.
You see, there's this huge commotion,
and Mimal goes, stand back, everybody, stand back.
One of his railers got him.
She immediately begins casting healing spells on him.
You can see that his crick-rot is is so advanced that he can't be properly cured
You see his mouth is foaming and he's muttering to himself my two best rappers
My
What I have a sense of if if spores would actually help him like if he's like, is he so chill with poison
that if I sport him right now would be like,
give him a date, right?
He sure as hell could give it a try.
I'm sporing him.
I'm sporing him left and right.
He's sporing him, he's just like,
I don't know if that's helping, young man.
He's like doing chest compressions on him
while he's foaming at the mouth.
And you see that as Mima is trying to stabilize him,
you see that he's beginning to expand.
Expand.
Expand his horizons, like he's thinking about.
Expand his business.
You can see this is a good thing.
This is a feeling entrepreneurial.
You can see the shapes of fungi forming inside his body.
Uh-oh, is he gonna explode? Should we get back?
You see Mima is doing her best.
She's casting greater restoration.
It's not doing shit.
You see, Melf continues to expand. What are you guys doing?
Well, I'll grab Balnor and Cobb and pull him away. You see Mama is like starting to pull at Mima, but Mima is like, she's like, I can fix him.
I can fix him. All right. I'm helping Mama pull Mima.
Okay. He ha ha. Mama. I say, I say, Papa, y'all gotta get, I gotta help Mima, I gotta help Mama get Mama, Mima.
And Beverly, what are you doing?
I help with the scooping, I assist the scoop.
So Beverly and moonshine run over and scoop Mima away from
Melf as hard one holds Ol' Cobb and Boundore back,
and all of the other Crick Elves take cover as Melf explodes
in a cascade of gray gunk and black spores.
I cover my mouth with my handkerchief, dear me.
Oh, I wish I stocked wind wall.
Everybody go ahead and give me constitution, safe distance.
Who boy?
Okay, I'm in Biv's halo, right?
Yeah.
So that's gonna be eight for me.
Eight for you.
I got a 20, not natural.
I rolled a 17 and 18 and a 17 for Olkov, Balnor, and Mama.
So there all happens to Moonshine.
So there's this.
She gets a stronger, oh, straight-o-active Moonshine.
The lucky two.
So there is this burst of gray gunk and black spores.
You guys dive out of the way at the last seconds.
Moonshine is unfortunately caught a little bit in the crossfire,
and you are hit by some of these black spores.
You inhale them, and you instantly feel a little bit short of breath.
And Mimo grabs you by the shoulders and she goes,
Oh, Munchine, what happened? Did it get you?
No, Mimo, I'm fine.
I stick my finger down moonshine throughout
moonshine you
moonshine you puke and
There is some like black gunk
Yeah, it's all out now me ma. Don't you worry?
Hard one looks dubiously at moonshine. I said I wish for really loudly. I don't want to worry me mom. I'm while you're doing that
She's got enough on her plate. I didn't tell you but she's got quick rock. I'm really yeah
I'm reaching my hand go chip into moonshine's face while she's saying that
I've grabbed some hand sanitizer from Beverly's Bell
Yeah, I'm I'm furiously I'm just... I'm just...
I'm just...
I'm just...
I'm just...
I'm just...
I'm just...
I'm just...
I'm just...
I'm just...
I'm just...
I'm just...
I'm just...
I'm just...
I'm just...
I'm just...
I'm just...
I'm just...
I'm just...
I'm just...
I'm just...
I'm just... I'm just... I'm just... I'm just because I'm infected Fertitially, no boy, not gonna let you die. He's fine. It's good. It brings me closer to my people
I'm not afraid makes the decision a little more black and white honestly
Malora yep. Yeah, you see Mima looks over at
Melf and then over at you guys and she goes I don't think milk got out on his own
I think she let him out. Yeah, that seemed like a bit of a,
that seemed like a terrorist attack, what just happened?
Oh, bit.
But you know what we do with terrorists around here?
Tell me.
I don't know, we've never dealt with terrorism
at the crib before.
It is, this is dark stuff.
Huh.
So he just like sleep with those snakes.
We're about to set the precedent for what we do with terrorists.
Let's be let's not tolerate it, right?
I turned to old Cobb and say, old Cobb, these are dire times.
You got to keep it lighter than you've ever kept it.
I'll try. We are going into kill the only woman I've ever loved who did in fact kill many of my people who then just
Infected my surrogate daughter
They always say the funniest people have the darkest past got to get that gallows humor pumping through big guy
I'll be there right with you keeping it as light as I can too. You can count on me for some top-tier fog goofs
Oh, cow bleeps. Bev, bev, maybe I'll save the
goofs till after I no longer have Crick-Rot. And an aunt who's trying to kill me.
It's like my favorite doctor, Patch Adams, Merit Patch Adams. He gives you
patches when you're sick. Anyway, let's get in there. I press my forehead against
small moths. Good luck, my champion. I take you with me. I do let's get in there. I pressed my forehead against small moths. Hahaha.
Good luck, my champion.
I take you with me.
I do the Cricket Tears Salute.
All of the sick cricks and everything pretend
that they know what the Cricket Tears Salute is.
Yeah, we were in the Cricket Tears, I think.
Cricket Tears.
Hope you're the doobly.
The young ones all yell,
Hubbly, doobly.
Um, I just turned to Mima and I say,
Mima, I'm a cure-crick-rat because this,
the, the, the crick needs you.
It needs you for a lot longer and then I give her a hug.
Um, she gives, she gives you a hug.
I know y'all are gonna cure crick-Rot, and I know you're gonna come back,
and we're gonna have a big jumbalaya
when our heroes get back!
Ain't that right, everybody!
And everybody, cheers.
Oh, see, she knows how to talk to them people.
All right.
Coming back to the jumbalaya.
Let's do it.
Let's do it in that jumbalaya.
Now, are we doing the rope idea?
Yeah, we already got it.
TGZ, we all got our ropes tied around our waist.
I think that we tie the ropes as if we're all a bunch of toddler's attached to each other.
I toss one into Luna.
She ties herself to it.
I don't know if this is going to work necessarily, but I...
It's okay, Luna, you need to be close to me so you can benefit from my aura.
And I kind of like squeeze my buttocks and glow a little bit.
This kid is weird. That's what I kind of like, squeeze my buttocks and glow a little bit.
This kid is weird.
That's what I thought it first, too.
And he's not weird once you get to know him,
he is weird, but you kind of grow to like him.
Yeah.
I'm singing a song about aura, so I don't hear them.
Oh, all right, sweet.
I'm gonna turn around and start marching in the fog.
Cool. Yeah.
You guys enter the fog and in a blink it feels like you've traveled for several hours
You're suddenly somewhere completely different. You look behind you the crick-elves are no longer there
You look to your sides your allies are no longer with you. I tell you on the rope
You're no longer tied to the rope.
Okay, tug harder.
I look them all over a bit.
Where's Papa?
Papa's in there very confused. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr So you guys are still in the city, but you're on the west side now. There's a mist hanging over everything
But you're able to see pretty well and your immediate surroundings the fog it gets impossibly thick when you look to the east
Where you came from and you can't see through it all there
You can also feel the ground rumbling as if one or multiple giant beasts are moving through the city
So we'll start with moonshine moonshine you and pop-off are or multiple giant beasts are moving through the city.
So we'll start with moonshine.
Moonshine, you and Papa are all alone.
You don't see old cop, you don't see Luna,
you don't see either your party members.
You see black and gray mushrooms
are covering what is otherwise a familiar neighborhood.
You also see one stump covered in white mushrooms
and another covered in blue ones.
In the blue one, you see a shadow move past the window.
Okay.
Um, first thing I'm going to do is,
since I have a private moment to myself,
I'm just going to weep.
Because I just got crick-ratt.
Oh, come on.
And right now no one's looking at me,
so I don't have to be strong.
So I'm going to do, I'm going to do like, one of those't have to be strong. So I'm gonna do I'm gonna do like one of those
coughing cries where it's like I'm throwing up tears. Oh my god. And then and then compose myself
Do we hear do we hear that? I?
Think she's doing it quiet enough that you look like here. You guys aren't close enough that you can hear
Then I collect myself and I say okay
And then I collect myself and I say, okay,
task a hand. Bam, bam, bam.
Papa's nuzzling against you.
Oh, sweet pea.
Yeah, no.
And then I'm gonna go, okay, so I see this shadow.
Who's dumped in this used to be?
This used to be Mary Jane's stump.
Okay. She collected egg corns.
Okay, I'm just gonna, I'm a saunter over to Mary Jane's old, I'm assuming I'm gonna hope for the best because you know, I don't know what hope
Hope is stronger than fear and so I'm gonna go over and I'm gonna knock on the door and be like
Mary Jane in there. I'm looking for some quality egg corns fill out my egg corn
chutney.
I hope it's stronger than fear is a good terrorism policy for the
quick. What do you have back? Yeah. Oh you can have to. We are set in
precedent. We're both terrorist attacks horrifying. I'm moonshine. You hear from
the inside a familiar voice go, Mochad, is that you? That's Mima's voice.
Suddenly, the door opens,
and you see Mima standing there.
And she looks at you, Mochad, and she goes,
I don't know what happened.
As soon as you all went into the fog,
the fog suddenly moved back, and we were all in here.
I don't know, I don't know how long I've been in here,
but this is the only thing that's been keeping me sane.
And she tries to, she hands you a mushroom, like a red cat mushroom.
I got sucked into the fog, too!
No, you didn't. Is this some sort of trickery?
I do like an inside check to see if you can do an inside check.
Thank God. I got 22.
Suddenly, the illusion breaks and you see this skeleton
with a blue mushroom splitting its skull
and it's holding a black mushroom
and it lunges for you and is trying to shove it down your mouth.
Go ahead and do a grapple check against the skeleton.
Okay.
15!
Munchang, you fucking judo throw the skeleton down after just some
of instantly figuring out that it's not.
Can I do it as judo throws, but then I'm holding it down
on the ground still?
Sure, you can be like holding it down.
Yeah.
So it is a skeleton with a blue mushroom splitting out
of its head.
It looks like there's like a fungal network going through
its skeletal frame that's like controlling it.
And it is waging out trying to grab at you you and it's got this black mushroom in its hand
Trying to put it in your mouth cool. I'm just gonna start curbs something
Okay, go ahead and do go ahead and do an attack roll not wasting them spells on this bitch. It's a 13 hit a 13 just hit
Go ahead and do your damage. He is not a very good fighter
His trick is putting mushrooms into people's mouths
And he wasn't very good at that either.
No, apparently not.
Six.
Six damage.
He is quite hurt, but still alive.
I'm just going to try to spore some.
He's a skeleton made of mushrooms.
It's not going to work.
Okay, you know.
He takes a crack at you and he misses.
That's like-
I just criss!
Nice!
No, he's not dead still. Oh, you want me to criss, I still only He's on death's door. Oh
You want me to create I still only got a 10 finish him
So you've got the skeleton pinned is down. You've got like neon belly position holding him by the throat as he's
Swinging up at you with his fists
Okay, I'm gonna I think I'm just gonna take grab him, and then like swing him around my head skeleton,
or a helicopter style,
till all his bones spread around, like this boars.
You scatter his bones all over the stump.
Okay, and then except I saved whatever one I was swinging
around my head, then I snap it over my knee.
Right.
Actually, no, no, no, no, you know what,
I take the final bone and I hold up to,
I take like the wishbone equivalent of a human skeleton and then I hold up to Papa and
we do like a little wishbone. And it's just what Papa needed after finding out his mom
as quicker. Who gets to make the wish? Yeah, wait, roll. Oh, yeah, okay roll. Yeah, roll between pop on
Pop I got a 17 oh my god a perfect split Even here and now okay, so we make the wish at the same time. I wish that I will kill
Maribel
Well, you don't want to
Well, you regain your senses.
You can assume it's the middle of the West Crick because Moon Chin told you all about it.
You're between two stumps.
Oh, did I give them both maps of the West?
Yeah, they both have perfect maps.
They know where everything is.
It just says Mo.
That's true.
You're standing in like an alley between a couple stumps.
You see that one of the stumps is residential, and the other one has a sign out front that reads the school and stump.
And you can hear inside...
Teeheehee!
You hear lots of little Teehee's.
You also hear from across like the walking path that people would take to get to the different stumps.
You hear moaning. Ah! Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Okay.
First, hard one is also going to have a private cry.
Ha!
Ha!
Knowing that one of his only friends in the world has a crack rot.
So he breaks down for a minute and then I'm going to go go to the I'm avoiding T. He's at all cause I'm going
I'll go to the moon. So you go to the moon
You see across the main path on the other side you see a Crick elf with terrible Crick rot
Riding on the ground clutching his chest and he's reaching towards you and he goes he got to help me man
Help you with what you got to help me get it out of me man get what out of you
Clutch
Hard one you go over what do you do as you get close to him? I mean I have my axe ready to fucking chop this out
What do you do with your axe man? Show me what's show me what's it dude? It's him not just much
Just heard so fucking bad, but let me see it move your hand cut it out
Move your hand
He he pulls up his shirt and you see
Movement under his skin. Oh, Jesus.
Of like a big, shubert-sized mushroom head
coming up out of the sand.
I've taken my throwing axe, and I slice his chest
just on the skin.
Go ahead and do a medicine check.
How's the medicine?
Medicine, can you get?
Do I have medicine?
Oh, wait, yeah, what do I have to do?
I need a handkerchief.
Okay, so that's zero right?
Go ahead and perform surgery on this guy. You're doctor, right man. I
Yeah, I'm the best doctor around
That's a three
Hard one. Oh, honestly, we are in the fog. You probably might be the best doctor around.
That's a hard one, too.
Are there any doctors at the crib?
I see it.
There's a huge thing that's moving around in the stomach.
So I'm just slice it.
You're slice it.
Yeah.
This dude screams.
Ah!
A sea of black gunk burst from this dude's chest.
I keep my mouth closed.
As well as a black capped little mushroom dude with two sickle fists, he bursts out of this
guy's chest and takes a swing at you.
I'm not gonna lie this Q is hell.
Okay, well okay, game is less worth knock on wood.
I hope it inching says, hard one, please don't get crit grad after I said that.
I feel best so bad miss is with his first sickle attack and
Get to 17 on his second one that's gonna miss that misses, but he is going to spore you
Oh, rude black spores. So go ahead and give me a constitution saving spores our oldest ally turned against us
And I don't have bev thing anymore. Do I? Don't. So that is... 18.
18, you pass.
You're okay.
You return.
I'm gonna fucking kill this thing.
I hate it. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr All right, is it wearing like little pants like toad? 16 damage. No, he's nude and mean
16 damn cool. He's quite hurt nude and rude
17 to hit that hits
Hell yeah 18 damage. He's quite hurt, but still alive
Fucker, I'm not gonna take a little yard when I killed a little guy. I'm gonna let him attack me again
I'm not gonna burn my action through right now.
Swings with his sickle, his sickle fists twice.
Sickle fist.
He gets an 18 and a 19, so he's gonna hit both times.
No, 18 doesn't hit.
Well, 18 on a roll, he gets plus six.
24.
Fuck you.
20.
Run, run, run, run, run.
Nine on the first hit, six on the second hit.
And then he's going to spores you.
Go ahead and give me a constitution saving throw.
This is like Ridley Scott, Super Mario Brothers.
I love it.
Hell yeah, I'll pass that.
That was like a 20 something.
Perfect, you're fine.
Okay, I hate that.
You think that actually cleared up your sinuses a bit?
Really?
Yeah, that's nice.
15.
15, he's dead, finish him.
I grab its own little sickle fist and I decapitate the top of the mushroom.
And then I go over and I shut the quick, the elf's eyes.
He shut his eyes, his eyes instantly open up.
This black ooze comes out of his eyeball.
All right, I was trying to be poetic.
Here's what I'll do for you, buddy,
and I drop kick the head of the mushroom into the mist.
Nice.
Thank you.
I hated it.
Me too.
And I hate small things that attack me.
You hear in the distance,
Teeheehee.
Oh, coming for you guys.
If you wish to just throw a freaking fireball
into that Teehee, gnome house. You should just set like a freaking fireball into that tee he-he-nome house.
You should just set it up.
Alright, so Beverly.
It's a little arson on the side.
Alright, cut to Beverly.
Beverly, you regain your senses inside a residential stump.
The tables here have been turned over.
There's blood on the ground.
There's a torn open body that looks like it's already exploded and released spores.
There was clearly some fighting in here and it's a mess.
Beverly, did you do this?
Did you?
I look at my hands.
Your hands are bloody.
Uh-oh.
What happened here?
I guess I go look at the person.
I don't know them, do I?
You do not know them, but they were clearly crick-rotted.
It looks like some kind of zombie.
Do I like breathe in and out?
Do I have crick-rod?
Do they like wake up with crick-rod?
Go ahead and give me a perception check.
Okay.
Okay, that's gonna be...
That sound that sucked through the teeth
is always like bullshit.
Oh, shit.
Okay, that's a five.
A five, okay. Before we proceed, I do wanna say, I do always like, oh shit. Okay, that's a five. A five, okay.
Before we proceed, I do wanna say, I do not cry,
but I pick at the flesh near my thumbs
and I don't know why.
Oh, okay.
Bev, right now, I would think Beverly's
a little bit of like a hyper-contract.
Yes.
So you are definitely a little panicked right now
and you're breathing a little heavy.
You can't tell what it's from.
I pull out one of those flu masks that people wear.
I will, you definitely have one of those on here.
And it definitely has a green teen insignia on it.
Custom. You pull down your green teen insignia flu mask.
Okay, so I've got that.
Hmm, so this person's clearly dead. What else do I see in the room? I guess we're the four probably not much.
You see like an overturned table
and the whole room is just a mess,
but you do see like a notebook on the ground,
like a scroll, like something that, like a journal,
something that somebody would write in.
Oh, you know I gotta check out that.
You know we're on some Resident Evil shit right now.
I'm kinda jealous.
I'm a typewriter.
I'm gonna read it. This is like my favorite thing in video games. This shit right now. I'm a kind of jealous. I'm a typewriter. I'm going to read it.
This is like my favorite thing in video games.
This is reading books.
I miss.
So Bev, you find this blood-soaked journal, and it says, Day 3 in the damn fog can't find
a way out.
Even walking back the way we came, I had Crick-Rot 4 entered the fog, but seems like it's spreading
faster here. My whole damn face is scabby. All these blue mushrooms is tricky too. Even sleeping
aint an escape. I keep telling myself the dreams ain't real, but I can't tell when I'm awake
and when I'm asleep. Oh fuck, hold on. I slap myself.
You feel like you're awake.
I slap myself again.
You slap yourself again.
You feel, this feels all real.
I pinch both my butt cheeks.
He pinched both my butt cheeks.
He feels.
One damage from that hang nail that you have taken care of.
I'm furiously picking my fingernails too.
Don't know why.
So suddenly Bev, you hear just outside the door of the stump.
You hear raspy breathing, you hear.
Who is it?
Bound or stumbles in.
You see he's got a big infected fang on his shoulder.
You son of a bitch, Murr. He goes, he goes, the rattler son.
Luna's fighting the rattler. Where?
You here in the distance.
Oh, oh, oh!
And Moon Shine and Hard One. You guys also hear the wolf call in the distance.
I'm sprinting towards the wall.
Oh, yeah, I sprint towards it.
I like callbacked.
Oh.
What, also since I took some time,
I made a crown of that skeleton bones.
So I show up wearing a crown bones.
That's pretty good.
And Beverly, you're there with Bounder.
You see he's not like Melf, he's not on Death's door,
anything, you see that like moonshine, You see he's not, he's not like Melf. He's not on Death's Door or anything. You see that like Moonshine.
He definitely has Crick-Rot now, but he's just got this bite. He's just badly wounded.
Is there anything I can do for him or is it, it's, he's got like five HP right now.
Okay. He's like hurt.
All right, well I lay on hands. I'm gonna touch hands.
Let me give him like 15 I guess?
Perfect. Yeah, okay.
Okay, so you get him back up to 20.
All right, well let's get in there so you get them back up to 20.
All right, well, let's get in there.
Let's get in the fracas.
Cool, so Bev and Balnor take off.
You guys all rush to the sound of the wolf.
You see Luna is wounded, but still fighting.
She's in full werewolf form now with the yellow eyes,
her hair and muscles bursting out of her plate armor.
She's battling an enormous snake.
Its scales are blackened in gray
and it's got a big black mushroom bursting through its skull.
You see Luna swing her great sword at it
that attempt to bite it with her fangs.
The snake snaps down to bite at her
but she rolls out of the way.
Come on, fuck her, come on.
Fuck you, God, you're beautiful. Wow, you're like, oh, hard while we have the way. Come on, fucker, come on! Fuck you! God, you're beautiful.
Wow, you're like 12.
Oh, hard one, we have the same taste
that we have in this, the purple.
Well, you're like 12 aguines at once.
As you guys are about to enter the battle with a snake,
you turn and see another giant infected snake monster
slithering towards you from the other side.
Oh, shit. Suddenly, suddenly you see Ol Cobb hops up on a nearby stump and begins firing at it.
The second snake turns its attention from you to Cobb and starts darting at him.
Ol Cobb goes, I'll pull this one west, y'all help Luna!
He starts running with the snake biting at his heels as they disappear into the mist.
Wait, before they...
Stop, what the fuck is this?
You leave that space behind you.
You leave it on a chase, but bring it back here.
And that's where all I'm going to answer.
Go pick up!
Ah, ah, ah!
What was that move?
It's almost like the DM thought that was a freaking good idea.
All Cobb has 45 speed, guys.
Cobb, that's not funny.
I told you to keep it light.
Can he outrun the snake?
He can outrun the snake to a certain extent.
Moonshan, what are the snakes?
Oh, god damn it.
Well, I'm definitely casting.
I get long strider once a day.
So we're all getting long strider.
I don't know that you've...
So I'd be able to fight.
I don't know that you want to fight both these snakes
at the same time.
Okay. Maybe Cobb was... Yeah, the right decision. I don't know if you, so I'd be able to find out. I don't know that you want to fight both these snakes at the same time. Okay.
Maybe Cobb was,
you're the right decision.
I don't know if you,
I don't know if you got Cobb's best interest in heart.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
I think you might be the same.
You think I would give Cobb a Cobb
the, you think I would give
all Cobb and off screen death.
I didn't even give Bound or an off screen death.
All right.
Yeah, because he's not dead and never will die.
Hey, this is, you guys,
this is Primo's short rest fog.
Yeah, yeah. So, we'll save him. Everybody and never will die. You guys this is primo short rest fall. Yeah, yeah, so
Lock it up. All right guys my player is just efficiently mad at me and that means I did a good job
To the short rest as we all berate mer for the next hour. I'm gonna raz him
Everyone has great crowd. I want to talk to your manager
Everyone has great crowd and all cops in trouble
You can't find the screen. Murph just scrawled fuck you everybody
Take us back to the elemental chaos right now
Vacation's over
Goodness my ocean mommy head on over to patreon.com slash nad pod to listen to my players berate meme
On our short rest the after show check out me an amelie's book yeah hey you up I had to turn your booty call into emergency contact it's a
satirical relationship advice book you get it on amazon or on audible
relationship advice right now I'm there just so great I'm so oh my good
good uh called well where could be watch big city green you can check it out I'm married just so great every seven or so. Oh my goodness. I called over.
Where could we watch Big City Green?
You can check it out on iTunes or Amazon.
Of course you can watch it on the Disney Channel
or the Disney Now app.
Thank you so much for watching it.
Oh heck yeah.
Of course listen to if I were you.
What else we got to plug?
Oh you know we need to plug is a.
So on Patreon David D was like,
oh you guys should do an incentive for
Reviews and it reminded us that we have an incentive for once we get to three thousand reviews on iTunes
We're gonna do a donkey Kong one off
We're gonna we'll try to get a very prestigious guest for a donkey Kong one off
That's it. I said we get three thousand
for a Donkey Kong one off. That's who it is.
I said, yeah.
We get 3,000 reviews.
We're finally-
Am I worried that this isn't a good incentive?
Am I worried that it's actually a discourage?
Like that it's discouraging?
Yeah, I'll call it.
There will be in Kong Country.
The banana horde will have just been stolen
and will go from there.
I ain't Donkey Kong on the one.
I quit the podcast.
I call dibs on Funky Kong.
And I rejoined the podcast twice.
I'm like, play a lizard folk.
I'll play Clump. And if we have a lizard folk. I'm like a clump.
And if we have a lot of fun, we'll just do that instead of
it's not another con country.
Yeah.
Gonna get that cease and desist.
Cool guys, follow us on Twitter at CH-Murf is me,
at J-Curwitz's Jake, at EXFord is Emily,
at Caldea's Caldwell and tweet about the show
using hashtag NAD pod, that's N-A-D-D-p-o-d we are we are youth of the nation we are we are youth of the nation
hey guys it's the end of the show and that means I need to shout out our benevolent
council of elders that's right I'm doing it all by my damn self because I don't need a party
I can one v1 this damn list. I'm bringing the energy and enthusiasm. Let's go starting with Matthew M
The bully wug prince once switched places with a bully wug popper to learn the other side of bully wug life
He hated it and now he lives in a castle
bug life. He hated it and now he lives in a castle. Jo N, the lover of Lucy, Jo and Lucy just got engaged IRL, but they also got engaged
in Bahumia on the SS Stormborn, overlooking the twinkling lights of Glateron and yes Red
did go through their stuff while they did.
Brad D, the only pebble pot that isn't Craven, followed in his Uncle Duncan's footsteps
and became a lawyer, but most of his clients don't get executed.
J. Loma, 72, aka Steelbreaker, Hard One's Jim Spiration, Hard One follows Steelbreaker
on Instagram and likes all of his post-workout, Pump Picks.
Andrew A, aka Phil Spar Ligarton, the half-elf, he's half-elf, half-human, all-hero.
Actually, sorry, also 5% gnome.
Taylor Poppa, the sixth, a legendary bard,
whom no item is in an instrument.
Once used, glads head as a bass drum,
and the hung Cobalt's penis as a mallet.
Dylan B, a super weak wizard who wields 12 swords,
could cast a telekinesis spell to help him out,
but nope, he's a proud man,
and he carries all his swords like two giant handfuls of groceries.
Simon W. The bootleg of Hard One.
Soft loss.
Only does wrist exercises and his glutes are actually concave, but his family has dinner
together every Thursday at the Olive Garden when you're here, your family.
Danny P. Bohumi is resident artist.
Paynid Hard One senior portrait at the dwarf image.
It was a charcoal drawing and hard one is completely unrecognizable as a giant smear.
Tom P. Father of the Realm, serenader of sleeping babies, can cast sleep on toddlers at
will, also the elderly.
Spencer Casprue, patron elder of libations, ale maker to gods and heroes of Bohemia alike, makes a mini low-cal,
2% pilsner, specifically for halflings called hop bits.
That's right, hop bits.
Pedro E, part of the mountains, played hard one senior prom and comforted him when he was
crying in the hallway after he was dumped.
Don Lemon the dwarf went down the shore with hard ones prom date after she dumped him.
Griffin SD, aka the Stranger, the silver dragon born Eldritch Knight and owner of the Badgers
Pine in in Tavern, once banned to Galadro Zell for saying strike true, too much during
a game of darts.
Beard Man Dan, his beard is home to a family of awakened possums who have tastefully
decorated it with a love seat, curtains, and a hearth.
Scott D, an ancient warrior so fierce that he defeated every elemental Titan himself
and even impregnated the fire daddy with Jeremy somehow.
Arenc, the first guy to ever try parasailing behind an airship.
It was a little redundant since the ship was already flying, but it still looked dope.
Hermes W, The Bat King.
Can someone a thousand bats to lift him off the ground whenever he wants he can essentially
fly on command bat style?
T. Alex, a tailor apprentice at Reneis, who is as of late popularizing cropped trousers
in Esri, definitely gonna open his own shop.
Harley S. drives Bahumi his only mine car motorcycle and uses it exclusively
to impale assholes. Parker E, the salutarian at Papa's Law School, Papa was valedictorian
obviously. Kaio Miku, owner and operator of Bahumias own Mick Kwanold's franchise, currently
offering a Mick quib for a limited time.
RJW, as a teen, spent summers in the Feywild,
and has had more threesomes than twosomes.
Nice.
Spartis fights his battles with a sparring sword,
because it's legit the only way to make them fair.
He's that good.
Adam R, the youngest bravest cricket
who snuck back into the chosen stump
and finally upper deck their toilet.
He also promises to clean it up when moonshine gets back.
Brent D, taught Alonist magic, not wizard magic though, science magic.
They made a volcano with baking soda and vinegar one day and Alonus at least pretended to be super
impressed. Cassandra MHP, Balnor's long lost daughter who he was this close to finding when he
was suddenly ripped from the universe. Matt C. aka Mattie Bigcritz, Matthias of House Crit,
true born heir to the Crit Castle,
has never trained or practiced in his life,
but is the most natural swordsman the realm has ever known.
Danielle, the Dastardly Dame,
can you sneak attack without even sneaking?
She's just so damp, dastardly,
you just inherently trust her,
and then she, whoosh, knife's you.
You see, aka, Haldor Frostback, MVP of the Giant Wars,
Crude on the SS Stormborn and fought alongside Elias and Red,
a barbarian warrior from the frigid north
doesn't even need a coat in the middle of winter,
he can get away with a light jacket.
Mani the mundane, accidental deity who got in the way
of a lichest spell to reach divinity,
when you order a diet coke and it comes with a lemon,
that's mani watching over you.
Jordan DJ, legendary DJ of the realm, second only to DJ Tanner, the oldest sister from
full house who get this lives in Bohemia.
Jeffrey S, Lord of the Fjord, born of the sword, and nothing's fine, I'm torn.
That's right, he wrote torn by Natalie Embroglia.
Xavier C, a legendary vagrant who ate the leftover crust off of hard one slider buns when
they were rushed out of the Blumana Inn.
Cutter W, a high-ealth dandy turned Crick stump attack, designed the tallest stump in the
Crick, then realized he just invented a tree.
Lex S, the bullywug whisperer, can speak to bullywugs using a dialect known as big shaky cheeks.
John S, aka Superthemushroom, Glad was actually resurrected and attempted to escape Galator
on Thrucrag Water, but Shubert shanked him.
James B, designed Elias' cool hat.
Elias did steal it though, so James is attempting to hunt down hard one to repay his debt.
Ryan M, once reprogrammed Juan the Automaton to be a karaoke machine for the night and brought the house down at the Blumana Inn with a tearful rendition of Rob Thomas' 3AM.
Alain A. C. A high elf who shunned their people and seamlessly integrated into Crick Society. If you look closely that gap in their teeth is just a raisin. Born Ezmerel the faint, but now goes by Petri Muk Gunk.
Andrew M., a taradacto who used to sit on red shoulder like a pirate's parrot, Andrew M
can do tricks for crackers, speaks fluent Sylvan, and is one of the few pets in all of Bohumia
to never need a harness.
Daniel U, aka Multifore, the owner of a sweet boat that sounds like Gilbert Godfried.
Once invited Gilbert Godfried to ride around in his boat with him, but it ended up just
being kind of repetitive.
Ricky, aka, tricky Ricky of the Cricky, hey Ricky you're so fine, you had to pay a fine,
and that was not fine because it was $457.
Andrew R, star of the Nommest Prank Show, Tee Heed.
Their favorite joke is to ride their tiny car full speed downhill right into your crotch.
Cannibalistic Cthulhu, a galactic entity of infinite power, sons are born of their screams
and tired galaxy spawn from their tears, they also bring donuts to the office once a month.
Michael McD, head mixologist at the Blumana Inn, defeated the frost queen Blizzelda and
now uses her crown to make ice for old fashions.
Blitzkrieg Demetri, famous dorgor who owns the beloved franchise Dorgers Big Borgers.
They just introduced a youngens menu that includes diet, crick water, five crawdads, a packet
of brown stuff, a mini-time outbag, and some apple slices.
Victor T. Boundor's boy whose loving dad was ripped from his family and transported to
another world.
Since his dad left, he's had to take over the family business, selling and manufacturing the world's first untuckable, extra-large t-shirt.
Henry A, a demonic rapper who goes by the stage name Chief Teeth. They got in hot water recently
after dumping a huge vat of actual hot water on several of their fans. Penfield, a very lazy
orange to Baxi who is the star of hard hard one in Beverly's favorite comic strip. They despise Tuesdays and are always housing their master, John's Teriyaki beef sliders.
R.J.S.
Sakericature artist at the Crick Boardwalk will draw you getting pleasure by a bullywug,
whether you ask them to or not.
Colin G.
Shay's towel goblin, they have perfected the art of absorption, was married to Shay for
two weeks after an especially buckw wild green teen jamberine.
Austin L, the heck-romancer, can't bring people back from the dead but can summon an army
of ghosts to make fun of your outfit.
Lance W, the wild-shape wizard, can transform into anything it turns out they were a hard
one the whole time.
Just an eye, a beach-side warrior who fights with two enchanted pool noodles has
advantage on both drowning and clowning roles.
And finally, Mick Pux, the code master, the digital hero who is tirelessly coding our
website, invented the Bahumian version of Facebook, but decided that the world was better
without it, and then invented Napster 2 instead. Thank you guys so much for listening
to our episode. I'm Brian Murphy, your dungeon master, and I'll be back next week with a whole crew with
another episode.
Head on over to patreon.com slash nad pod to listen to the short rest, Murph out.