Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 29: Marabelle the Terrible (Tales From the Crick)

Episode Date: August 23, 2018

The Band of Boobs face off against Marabelle in a battle to save the Crick! Beverly gets a whole new set of mommy issues, Hardwon is forced to face his friends, and Moonshine attempts to reclaim the title of Fungal Queen. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music/Sound Effects include:"Scary Ambiance" by ashleyxxpiano at Freesound.org."Into the Fog"  by Emily Axford."Sumpin's A Mess Out West" by Emily Axford."The Prodigal Sister" by Emily Axford."A Rare Appearance" by Emily Axford."Oh, Melora!" by Emily Axford."A Tale's End" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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so be sure to use the code PAPA to get your discount 100% free shipping and get it fast with brush processing. Code P-A-W-P-A-W. Goodbye, Sweeties. Welcome to the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Bahumi everyone. Bahumi. Bahumi.

Bahumi. I'm your dungeon master. And that's the Q1. I'm into it. back to Bahumi everyone. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, personal hell. That's threat. And called a little Tanner. Everybody's doing all the fit. Drop it. Little too high pitch for today guys. This is an intense episode coming up. Trying to get away. We got a big adventure to go.

I know. I want to talk about Aquinots and Helium, but I'm not going to go there. All right guys, let's do a recap last week. You guys started off your adventure by going to sleep in the cave where you found the infernal book. We're so smart. You started up, you are rude for phrasing

your little recap that way. Start it off your adventure by going to sleep. Oh my God. But just before bed, hard one pulled out Glad's head as a goof, causing a fist fight with Luna. She popped me in the nose. You deserved it. Luna went out for a little walk to calm down, then returned and slept outside the cave. Don't forget that hard one made Glad's severed head talk to her. Yeah, you did not do a good job in dias Escalating. You did a full punch in Judy.

Honestly, I don't meet any friends. I got to crow now. I got a new croak going. During the night, Munchine's Crick-Rot started to get to her and she started having dark thoughts about her party mates. Eventually, she was transported to a

black void where she stood face to face with Meribel. Meribel was able to manipulate Munchine into flipping in and out of her fungal form and heavily implied that moonshine was not a crick-elf at all, but simply an evolved fungal entity created by Meribel's spores. You guys followed Bev's sense evil to try to locate Meribel's lair and it brought you to a river which conveniently had a raft next to it. You traveled down the muck-filled infected river and fought an assortment of monsters before finally arriving at Maribel's Lair. You called upon the powers of your elemental titans and received their blessings,

but just as you were planning to sneak up to Maribel's hideout, you heard her voice in your head. She called off her moat of mushrooms and carved a path for you, leading directly to her lair God damn panopticon cool, and that's where we are now you guys are Approaching these big dome mushrooms. You see as Balnor sees you guys as these like elemental gods He goes Should I?

Should I go in there? What are you thinking here? You should come in with us, but hide most of the time. Yeah, feel free to sometimes just watch the bags, because you're so good at that. Watch the bags slash javelin, everyone's in a while. Everyone's in a while. You know what, don't javelin unless things are dire, because you don't want to draw attention to yourself.

We might run in and just grab a tuna sandwich from you. Kind of just hide in the halls. Somebody needs a potion. Maybe I run out. Yeah. Oh, yeah, does anyone have a potion to give him? I have a potion. Oh, you do.

Do you want to give it to Bo? I'm gonna hold it. Okay. All right, Bal, no. I could always just fish it out. Show me where it is. It's right here. I show Bal, no, way too much of my waist as I pull up.

Oh, boy. My shirt. Oh, this is me. Yeah, I did not need to show them the abs. I want to minute before we enter. I want a symbiotic entity. Cool. So yeah, if you guys want to enter, she's kind of paved the way for you. You see, there were all these fungi traps that were clearly going to kind of explode and

they've all just deflated. Let's go. Was that pussy foot around anymore? I know. Yeah. Cool. So you guys walk towards this big dome Okay, before we get there. I would like to cast a spell on myself. I'm gonna cast haste on myself Okay, it sounds indecent to spell cast on yourself, but I'm moonshine sabra I do the fuck I want oh and before we go in I do want to ignite a hard shine

Okay, I want to run my fingers along it and elicit a green flame to bloom. Green flame bursts from the sword as you guys enter the dome. Moonshine turns into her fungal form. You are this algae, water, swampy monster. The swampiest fucking mushroom queen you've ever seen. This is like prom goals, right? Okay, see this. You guys enter this giant mushroom cap.

It's a big dome. All along the walls are thousands of tiny holes. If you had a tripophobia, you'd freak the fallout. Where? I was just thinking I I told him what you were before me was going to divide showing him a picture of Crocs with beans in them. Ha ha.

You guys see Maribel in the middle of the room. She's this devil slash fungal queen. She's got gray skin, black pupils, mushroom hair, and where her legs would be. You see mycelium type roots connecting her to the ground as if she's the center of this entire cursed fungal network. And she suddenly disconnects from the ground and begins floating towards you. And she goes, oh, it is so good to see my daughter embrace her true form.

All right, your mom's hot. I know. I mean, that part of it feels good. But Maribel, Maribel, remember me, it's old-con. I give a whole couple of low five. I'm flashing the L. And she goes, oh, Cobb, it's so good to see you again. It's been a long time since we've had a role in the hey. Alright, come stay cool.

She's talking about sex man, I'm getting cut off. Up getting a little chup. It's not the merit of your job. Cops gonna roll for Horniness. I don't understand how I'm the least horn you want here. Cops got a three on Horniness. You're right, I'm gonna stay focused. Not even thinking about it.

How would that even work? It's like a whole fungal network down there. How does that even work? How does it even work? Explain it to me. There's a lot of holes everywhere, dude. Mema number two, because on my Mema hierarchy, that's where you fall. And actually, in terms of the crick, you fall even lower than that. I'm curious why you see me now as sort of this algae sea goddess and you're calling this much true form. Well, I suppose the algae part of it is a little strange and unexpected,

but I was speaking of the fungal form in general. How did you become a water lady? Wouldn't you like to know? I would like to know. Well, put $10. Okay. I can't help a brag. I can't help a brag.

I got another Mimaw. Actually, your Mimaw number three. I got a water Mimaw. Is that right? That's right. You're a three-maw. Yeah, you're a three-maw. Ha-ha-ha.

She looks over at all you guys, and she goes, oh, Moonshan, I'm more than just a three-mole. Because I got four little babies here with my spores in them. She looks over at Olcop, Balnor, Beverly, and Moonshine. All four of you guys have crick-wrought. It just makes me so happy to see y'all. I could just cry. And you see her black pupils, I could just cry.

And you see her black pupils begin crying these black tears. And suddenly, Bevin Munchan, you guys in Balnor and Old Cobb start crying these black tears. Everyone with CrickRot go ahead and give me a wisdom saving throw. So if I have, I'm immune to being charmed or I have advantage against being charmed. This is charmed. This is charmed. This is charmed so I get advantage. You do. Shout out to the two crew when I'm going with the 19.

Oh baby. Which is 28. 28? Yeah. Jesus, moonshine. Shit, no it's not a 28. I'm sorry it's a 25. That's okay.

That passes. 17. 17 is not enough. Ooh. Ooh. So moonshine, you're able 17, 17 is not enough. Ooh, ooh. So moonshine, you're able to just will the tears away. You feel them dissipate and grow weaker as they mix with the water and algae of your new fungal form.

So do I look like I was just wearing a lot of mascara? Yeah, you look like you just had a good cry, but just a good regular cry. So I'm like kind of a hot mess right now. Yeah. But Beverly, Ol' Cobb and Boundor, you see the tears spread and stick to their faces and their bodies swell and you see these thick black veins

popping out from under their skin and their eyes go black. Everybody roll initiative. Fuck. 19. 14. Sport team. Fuck. 19. 14. Sport team. 12?

That was awesome. Do I even need to roll? Yes, because you will get into the fight eventually, hopefully, it's gonna be good. Hard one, you are first. All right, I see what's happening here, and I guess this band is lucky that I never had a mother And I'm a swing my axe

go ahead Does an 18 hit her and 18 is always the moment of truth because you're like what is this? Yeah, let's see. I mean, I guess I'm imagining that it hits her and then somehow hurts me And 18 does hit her all right all right go ahead and go ahead and crack she's wearing a dress Imagine that it hits her and then somehow hurts me. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha She's super fucked up and I'll take my second attempt. Go for it. 25. That hits. 10. 10 damage. I'm not gonna do my action search because I don't know how this is going to affect her

at all. So at the end of Hard One's turn, she's going to take a legendary action. You see she does the cum hither motion at Beverly and Beverly, you are compelled to go join. Coming, mother. Yeah, it just looks like you're mom. Bring my hands just a little boy. I keep that finger out of here. I skip over to her.

Yeah, it just looks like Martha Toe Gold, but with a giant mushroom face, but nothing looks weird here. I like your hair, mother. What did you do? Did you go to the salon? Be careful, young baby. You're gonna get stuck in them bones.

He's like, She points at hard one and goes, get him my little baby boy. Hey, you're my little baby boy. What are you doing? Beverly go ahead and swing on hard one. Mushroom mommy. I'm your goddamn scout master. You put that sword down. You're a battle scout master. That's the that's the quick right talking Take that back Luna that is the quick right talking. I was a good scout master and this is all super fucked up That's a 20 to hit doesn't it that doesn't hit he's a fucking rock dude. Oh, yes All right. Well, do I take my second attack? You don't just do the one Hey, it's you'll do

Moonshine that is your turn. Okay, so I have haste which means I get an extra action each round Oh nice and also my AC is plus two. So now I'm 19 on my class Jesus and I get advantage on dexterity saving throw. She should have made a speech and My speed is doubled. So first what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna lighten me bolt her Okay, so she has to make a Dexterity saving throw more than 17 She does not I need 86. Yo, ballad here. There he comes. Ooh, baby. So 29 Lightning. Nice. Yeah.

And then I'm going to just attack her. It's a big old bolt. Cool. Go ahead and do an attack. Does 18 hit. Yes it does. So Moon Shine rushes forward to attack. OK.

That's going to be 11 put and then our spores her for 12. Okay, so 20, 23 damage. Yeah. Damn, so you club her with your shaleili and then shoot your seeds at her. You see these little vines burst out and cut her and she goes, where were you on that? My little halfling son. I'm sorry. Deep down in the sunken place, Beverly is like, I'm so dirty, I hate this, I hate this, you, you, you, you. And then at the end of Moon Shine's turn, she's going to take a legendary action to swing on Moon Shine with a pseudo-pot attack. You see, she's got like a tentacle

that whips out at Moon Shine. 19? Yeah. 19 hits? Damn, she got. She's got like a tentacle that whips out at moonshine 19 19 hits Damn she got just it though. She got a 19 mother. I respect you with all my heart But a tentacle doesn't really make sense with the rest of your kind of them. No, it's a pseudo pod Okay, I just you're like you're like a fungal mushroom person Right, what is it like your a-sudo pseudo pod you know describe a pseudo pod a pseudo pod wouldn't that be like something that like a pre-historic

Fish would have oh yeah like um like kind of like a tentacle. It looks like yeah, yeah, exactly That's what I've been fucking saying okay mushrooms don't have those though mother right. I'm saying it's like that Hi bar She does 16 damage to you, Mochyn. Okay, I got them temporary hit points, so. And that is Balnor's turn. You see Balnor's pupils are all black. He's clearly super brainwashed. He just goes, guys, I think she's good. I'm gonna kind of wait this out. And you know what? Someone comes near the bags. I might just let him root through them Palmore, no

Listen to what you're saying. Oh, you're right. He's he's tries to force I've got a lot of the scores out of him Bad nor you're a madman Yeah, man lore he tries to force the spores out of him he gets to make a wisdom saving throw Oh, he's gonna do a squeaky too. And he passes. Oh! He's up. I can't believe I said that about the bags.

You're doing great. I blink at Bell Norse. Oh, watch the bags. He stays back. Bev, that's your turn. You are currently still brainwashed. Hard to win a moonshine. You see that his pupils are still black.

Bev, this looks like your mom. You know, just your mushroom face mom. This is just normal. Oh, that's just, that's her Sunday hat. This is my Sunday hat. That's what she wears to church. We're going to church. There's this big bad guy with an axe trying to chop down my favorite lemon tree.

Do you think they'll have Tim Hortons after church mother? Oh, of course, baby. Oh boy. But, Bev, for a split second, you're like, wait, we don't get Tim Hortons. There's no Tim Horton's, and Glateron we go to Dunkin' Donuts. I go ahead and rock, go ahead and roll a wisdom saving throw. My nose bleeds a little bit.

Ha ha ha ha. Shout out. Shout out to, wait. Does my lucky blade only work on- It's only on attacks. Aww, shout out to the two crew. Bev remains in his stupor. Terrible.

Oh, you know what on Beverly's turn She'll take a legendary action and she'll attack who's up in there. That's my mommy. She'll attack Moonshine Brain on come on she hits again. Yeah, she rolled in 18. Uh She does yeah, she does 19 damage I'm fat! That it is her turn. Y'all got no respect for your elders. Ah, am the fungal queen.

And you see she grows more pseudo pods that burst from her in sprays of black gunk. And she snaps three of them at Yumun shine. And she hits all three times. Hey, that's your daughter, right? Yeah, but she's not as well-behaved as this one. And she rubs Beverly's head with a slimy pseudo pod. Tant on the first hit, 16 on second hit, that's 26, 13 on the last hit. I'm still standing.

Wow. Well, because I get the temper of hit points from being in symbiotic and right right cool that is old Cobbs turn Old Cobb is going to try to shake out of it. He is in quick-rotted mode He rolls a six he does not guys. I think she might be a good guy. Yeah, I don't know I don't know, guys, we're not getting out of game. Hey, come, wait a minute, if this is my mom, then you're basically like my dad now.

Yeah, I think we're a family, y'all. Let's be a family. I think we might all be a family. I start trying to attach mushrooms to his face. Ha, ha, ha. That is Luna's turn. She takes, she's going to try to bite her and swing at her with her sword.

Someone's a Luna not to bite her. Mrs. both times. OK. This is fucked up, dude. Yeah, it Luna not to bite her. Misses both times. Okay. This is fucked up dude. Yeah, it's fucked up. Get your head in the game. Oh, remember? And then she's gonna use a legendary action

to have Olkov shoot at Luna. Stay back. That's my girlfriend. Get him dad. Oh, of course. I'll lift every least real playing V&G arm. He shoots any misses, he does not hit Luna. That is back around to hard one.

All right. I don't know if I, like I couldn't rip the mushrooms off of my friend's heads and have them be normal, could I? I'll let you, if you want to save your action, I'll let you give him advantage on his wisdom saving throw. Like slap me out of it. Yeah, I'll let you give him advantage on his wisdom saving throw. Hmm. Like slap me out of it. Yeah, I'll let you guys like roleplay it.

You tell me what you do. I swing it over with my axe. I just want to, I, nobody, yeah, we need to hit her. 23 to hit. Cool. 15 damage. She moves Beverly in front of her. You hit Beverly for 15 damage.

Goddamn it. Oh! Jesus fucking crap. Oh, it's an honor to take damage for your mother. You're a good little boy. Stop collecting parents. You little shit. I throw Beverly. Could I push him really far away?

No. Join us. Join us in the network. You can do like a grapple check against Beverly. If you want to push him out of the way? I will or I guess if I'm gonna do that then I might as well she can only she can only do her like Move make people attack for her move if they're within five feet of her I

Guess I'll kick Beverly back do a strength check against any guys are wrestling each other. It's very dramatic. Oh, no I'm master of her scout Check against him. You guys are wrestling each other. This is very dramatic. Oh no, I have a scout master of our scout. Ooh, that's a, a 23. Ooh, I'll use a luck point. Okay.

You just keep gicking me and it still isn't gonna be enough. Ugh. Beverly pushes you off of him. Can I like slap Beverly across the face a bunch with my action surge and give him advantage or something? I'll show you. Yeah, I'll let you get up in his face and say,

I'm your scout master or something. You're going to need to really try to get through to him. Yeah, I'm going to run over to Bev, and I'm going to say you have enough mothers, you have enough fathers, just fucking focus and fight this lady and slap him on the face a bunch. OK, so he's going to get advantage on his wisdom saving throw during his turn.

Okay. And then at the end of your turn, she's going to use another legendary action to attack moonshine. And she's going to hit that's a 1d5 to hit. Oh my god. Wow, she's like a regular Barney Stinson, right? I don't know what that means. 17, 17 damage, Munchan.

I know. Munchan goes down. Oh shit. Okay. That is Munchan. Munchan, go ahead and give me a death saving throw. That's a fail. Okay, so Munchan has one fail, but on Balnor's turn, Balnor the brave Sorry guys, but I'm gonna have to leave the bags Runs forward reaches into hard ones vicious V. Sorry there buddy Runs over to moonshine and pours it in her mouth. We're to have someone else heal me, you know. Oh.

Feels good, right? Elven boots on the other foot. All right, so it was a greater healing potion. So let's go ahead and roll 44 plus four. Four. 44. Oh hell yeah, Valnor. You get 19 back. Whoa.

Hell yeah, I'm trying to pop back up. I pop back up. I hope I did a good job, Moonshine. Balnor, you did great. I give him a kiss on the cheek. I'm sorry to your wife if you had one. Or if you will have one. Or if you will have one in the future.

All timelines are possible. In an bounded balanor theory. So you see Balnor is feeding this potion to moonshine. You back off Balnor. Oh no. Oh no. She uses a legendary action to go after Balnor. Easy.

Oh no, it feels so bad. But he was helping me. I don't mind up She hits she does hit oh That's a lot of clicky clack she does 30 damage to Balnor because he takes poison damage But Balnor is still up. But he's so hurt. Go to the bags. Balnor.

I got a question. I got a question. First up, I woke right up. Can I have a reaction right when I wake up? No, no, no, no. Second question. If I were to cast, since I get a D6 to all healing, if I make a spectral pop-off,

is he gonna get an extra D6? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's tight. That's an extra nipple. Bed that is your turn. Go ahead and roll the wisdom saving throw with advantage as hard one slaps your face around.

As hard one is slapping me, I kind of picture myself like, I am in like a sunken place, but it's like I'm just covered in mushrooms. I'm like on a bed of mushrooms, like deep within my brain. Yeah, you see, Maribel is there with you and she looks completely normal

and you're in your house in the way that I'm. And you're in your house in the way that I'm. They're like mushrooms like peaking out of like the cupboard. There's mushrooms peaking out, but this just seems like your mom. Like Maribel comes out with some sticky buns. Oh, let's do a good mom. You want some food? It's just your dad's gonna be back from being a successful green

That's been so long. Yeah, wake the fuck up. You huh adorable little half who's that who's that the window? That's a 20 plus four 24 you fucking kick out of it. Yeah I 24 you fucking kick out of it yeah I coach I called cut my mom the face Yes, oh You do that to your own mom. You're my mom Yeah, so that is the end of Beverly start when your dad's real hurt. Oh, she did it. Oh shoot. She She fucked up bail. How could you do this? I'm so hurt, babe How could you do that to one of my newer and cooler dads?

Cooler? You know what? I lacked hurt in your dad. She's gonna go and take three swings on Beverly. You don't have a matrily bone in your body. You don't even have bones it looks like. Oh Jesus, she rolled so well. She's not missing a hit. It looks like Jesus she rolled so well Yeah, she got a 29 to hit and 227s to hit yikes 29 and 227s

Bed hit that hits believe you're not just for to look at her stat. She desperate to know what she's added to hit Monster the mud style It's gonna be good 39 damage. Oh fuck me. And that is Olcob's turn. You see Olcob goes Beverly, I thought you were on my side, man. This is my girlfriend, dude. I think I've had enough deaths. Olcob fails his saving throw. And she's going to use her reaction. She has him fly in close and he's gonna take a swing on hard one. God, you're my best friend dude. I don't know why I want to do this but I feel like we're not best friends anymore man. That really hurts to hear. Oh, Pee, he misses with his short sword, but he's now pretty close. That is Luna's turn. She takes two swings. She misses

both times. Great. That is back up to Hard One's turn. Luna, I really need you to focus here. Actually, we want her not to focus. Get crazy. Yeah, get crazy. And you see Luna's just trying to pump herself up Oh Get loopy Luna Get Lupus, so I guess I'm gonna try to kick old Cobb away from Maribel so I can hit her okay Well old Cobb uses how to use his reaction So this turn he can't do anything great. You can just wait. He's only got she's only got old Cobb left, right? She's only got spell oh Cobb left don right? She's only got, under her spell. O'Cob left, under her spell.

Um, I'm gonna do some more, can't. Ha ha ha ha! Oh you bought more! Yeah, I did. Wait a minute, when you pull that out, I'm like, what is that? It's all fine, I have it under control, never really. You said that was chapstick. It is chapstick, it's the best kind of chapstick area area it's gonna take something rough and make it smoother so are you

doing the level two arcane or the level one arcane what's the one that fucks her up more I mean level two is more unstable but it's more powerful then I'll do that one okay this is the one where I could just right up blow up. Yes, okay hard one takes a big snort of this yellow arc You see bolts of lightning are shooting through you Go ahead and first roll the attack and if you hit you can do an Extra D6 you do a level two so you can do three D6 damage great. That was a 19 to hit That hits so I roll my do I roll my regular regular attack and I add three six and you add three D6 D6 is cool

24 damage you swing into her and lightning explodes from your acts as you do all this damage go ahead and roll a wild magic Search I just did that I rolled a 17 is that good or bad? 17 is good, you chill. Oh. Oh, nothing happens. Ooh. For people to contain it. Great, I'm gonna take my second swing at her. Okay.

Do I have any more Arcane? Is it Constituted? You get to do it twice. Oh, okay. Is it Constitution saves that he does? No, it's Wild Magic Surge. Not fucking 20. Wow. Too much. So with the Arcane, you'll do double Arcane damage. Oh my God. No, it's wild magic search Not fucking 20

So with the arcane you'll do double arcane damage. Oh my god. Oh yeah, this is gonna be insane everyone's calling lightning 48 damage Jesus hard one swings into her the Lord of the 19 on that save, too. A 19 on the save. You just fully drugs are okay. You got to do it. Yes! Hard one.

Drugs are good, Dev. Our dogs snorts this arcane, lightning powers, swings into her twice, does so much damage, explosions of lightning, you freaking fry her and do a ton of damage. I turn it. Yeah, we gotta get an RV and start figuring out how to make our own arcade. I turn it to you.

I turn directly to the camera and say, I guess drugs are fine. She's getting less composed. She's going to go after hard one with her one of her legendary actions. And she gets a 23 to hit. That does hit. 13 damage. That is Mochai's turn. Okay. I'm recent by out of Gen Zidane. I still have a wild 13 damage. That is moonshine's turn. Okay.

I'm re-symbioting entity. I still have a wild shaped left, and then that's why bonus action. I create a spectral pop-up at a level fucking four. And because everyone gets an extra D6, anyone standing near a spectral pop-up gets 3D6 to healing. I created it on Next to Me and Bal Nurse,

or we both get it. Thank you. Bye. You see the greatest spectral pop-out you've ever seen emerges in a beam of light. He's got 16, nay, 32 nipples. A big belly-like Buddha. He appears meditating next to moonshine. Mother, we must cleanse the land and save this place. Everyone, drink of my chunky milk. And I just slap Balnor's face on to a tit. Oh, this is actually quite good.

This is a love of a warm teet of milk. So like the papa emerges and instantly milk is spewing out of his mouth. Just a right into your mouth. Mother, I am back. We will be your milk. Oh, it's my little grandbaby. Don't you dare. Yeah, you can't be in his life.

You revoke the ride to be in his life. You can visit it Easter and that's it. Uh, after I'd suckle of the milk, I sucketh of the milk, and then I used my reaction to algae her for 12. Nice. Good job, mother. I suck at the milk and then I use my reaction to algae her for 12. Nice. Good job, mother. That is Boundor's turn. How does Spectral Pop-Out work? Whenever you or a creature you can see moves into the spirit space for the first time on a turn or starts its turn there,

you can cause a spirit to restore 1d6 hit points. But I did it at a level 4, so it's 2d6 and then because I have added 2d6. Yeah, sweet. So Boundor and then because I have edd6. Sweet, so Boundor is gonna get another 3d6. Oh yeah, he's doing pretty good, he's looking pretty healthy. Nice Boundor. I love a healthy Boundor. So, why's sticking around here? Up in the mix? You feel healthy, I guess, go to the back.

Yeah, I moved my legs and sort of like, yeah, a lot of tuna sandwiches in there, might get bad with all the fungi around. Go take a bite of mine. Boundor, you are the most of tuna sandwiches in there. Mike it bad with all the fun guy around. Right. Go take it by the way. All right. Down or you are the most of us. You must remain safe. We're afraid of mold, not of algae though.

He runs back. Beverly, that's you. I use my amulet to heal up a little bit. OK. And then I'm going to attack. But first let me do my healing damage. OK, or healing whatever. Healing the opposite of damage.

Yeah. I take 15 HP. OK. I'm feeling a little healthier Got that rosiness back to my cheeks And I want to Divine's might cool to get a second level. Okay. We got to see if you hit all right I might Roll the one I rolled a one. Lucky, lucky. Lucky, go ahead and start again.

Yeah. Arguably lucky. Okay, well, an eight, that's not that much luckier, but eight plus ten, oh, eighteen. Eighteen, you do hit. Yeah, that's a good thing for a lot now. Thirteen normal damage. Mm-hmm. And then, at the second level, that's three d8s of radiant damage.

Okay. Thirteen, that's of radiant damage. Okay. Nice. 13, that's 13 radiant damage. Okay. And then, just as a little flourish, a flaming cherry upon the Sunday. Woo! That is 1d6 of fire damage.

Sweet. Alright, that's three more damage right there. At the end of your turn, she's going to do an attack on you. Fine. She gets a 20 to hits. Oh, that hits. Oh, 16 damage. Okay. Then it is her turn. You see she once again holds up her hand and goes, I've lost a little bit of control of this situation. So how about all my babies come back to Mama? And you see her black pupils begin crying

these black tears. Everybody with Crick-Rot can me wisdom saving throws. Got to have a drink. This is Charm and right? This is Charm, yeah. A little bit of. I can smell those sticky buns. That time I did get a 28.

Wow. Another eight, but wait. A prodigal daughter, she cannot be charmed. Or 13, that didn't do it. That does not do it. Shoot, Bev, Cobb and Balnor are taken over by the crit girl. This time I picture us all as a family together, like Von Trapp style, we're all singing.

It is Old Cobb Stern, Old Cob is going to try to get out of it. He fails. She is going to use a legendary action at the end of Cobb's turn to attack hard one. She hits for 12 damage. Okay. Then it is Luna's turn Luna swings two times she hits once with her great sword for 16 damage there you go finally to some damage. No, she only does half. She doesn't have a magic weapon Sorry wolfbub. Luna got again the frame a girl fuck. I tried you did you're doing great. Oh Then she's going to what use a legendary action to attack.

Hard one again. She rolls a nat one. Yeah, too, so... Oh, finally! Legendary fail. Ha, ha, ha, ha. So, all of my friends are possessed. Hard one, your turn.

I guess I'm gonna try to swing it or in hope that I don't hit somebody else. Yeah. Okay. It's a nat 20. Hard one your turn. I guess I'm gonna try to swing it or in hope that I don't hit somebody else. Yeah, okay It's not 20 cool. Go ahead and do your damage. I'm gonna fucking hurt Cobb do your damage No, you have to you absolutely have to do your damage. No, don't do it eat your dice Go ahead and do your damage swallow it You're gonna make me hit fucking Cobb up with the not 20. I should be able to kick him out of the way in her end hitter.

Go ahead and do your damage, man. Oh, oh, oh, oh. And reroll your ones. And my twos. Shout out to the two crew. You're vegetables, reroll your ones and twos. 26. Two, Maribel.

As you swing in on her, she commands Beverly to jump in the way 27 down to Beverly going on 16 Look at me sing and dance How much damage 27 I'm way down Beth goes down, okay. Well that means I can't hit him with my second attack, right? You can't you certainly can't hit Beverly,

but I could hit Cobb, and you will make me hit Cobb. What if you just push her away from Cobb so that anyone who hits him or use your action to push Beverly to the healing spirit? Yeah, can I do that? Like push, kick me on the floor. I'm gonna, yeah, I'm gonna toss Beverly into the spectral pop-up.

Into his waiting arms. Yeah. Into his waiting milk. I'll allow that. Okay, so you. It's a respectful pop off into his waiting arms Yeah, I'll allow that okay, so you found a milk. It's like the it's like the belagio Founds that will milk yeah you critically strike Beverly You like get under his armor into his ribs. You see she for a second like let's go of her influence over Beverly, so Beverly can just look at you super betrayed with his real eyes. What, why? See what he's doing to you, young man?

That was on you, pal. What, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, spectral pop pop. You've had him in a spectral pop pop, Bev go ahead and roll, because it's a level four, 46. Yes, I said it wrong earlier, it's actually 46, because it's a second level spell, but gets an extra D6 for a level, and I get an extra D6. Ooh, like a D6.

So, 46 never ends up being that nice, but whatever, we can go to the next level. Okay, all right, 46. So Bev is gonna pop that up. He's no longer gonna be possessed, right? I'm gonna say critical hitting Beverly. You sufficiently knock him out of his stupor, but you do hurt him real bad.

So well, it's a really good for the party. Bev, you wake up, everyone. Everyone, everyone has just hurt you real bad. Hard one, why? I get milk in my mouth. Ha ha ha ha. And that is, sorry, her last legendary action of the round, she's gonna attack hard one.

She might miss this time, because you're a hard dude. She only got an 18. Yes, that misses hard one. That misses even when I'm not a hard dude, so. Damn. That is Moonshine Stern. I'm just gonna let dude, so damn that is moonshine stern I'm just gonna let him bolder again. Okay, and that's a deck safe throw. Yeah, okay. She's got hit 17 She fails

Nice hey also she'll catch on fire bitch 22 22 damage. Yeah, we're pretty poorly, but she's starting to look pretty messed up. She's also on fire, right? A little bit. Yeah, she catches on fire. Yeah. Yeah That is Balnor's turn. He's gonna try to snap out of it. My Balnor. I think this is my mom He does not snap out of it. It is my mom. Think about saying what you fell North. I bet that's your turn I'm in a channel divinity. Okay I utter ancient words that are painful for fey and fiends

to hear. Present my holy symbol as an action. Each fey or fiend within 30 feet that can hear must make a wisdom saving throw. Enfail creatures turn for one minute or until it takes damage. Turned creatures must spend turns trying to move as far as it can.

She gets a 23. She leans up to your holy amulet, sticks her face against it, and just lets it sizzle. Feels good, young inn. Man, she's creepy. Gosh, it smells like a really nice barbecue. Can we have a barbecue, mom? Never mind. That is Mar, she's creepy. Gosh, it smells like a really nice barbecue. Could we have a barbecue, mom? Ah, never mind. That is Maribal's turn.

She's going to take three strikes down unbeverly. Uh-oh. OK, she might have missed a bunch. That would be great. Does a 19 hit you? That is my 18. OK, so she hits twice. Shit.

Not three times. All right. Probably down again. 18 damage on the first hit. I'm down. Okay. Cool. That goes down. Second swing. We'll go to hard one then. 19. No. 19 does not hit. No. Mrs. Hard one. Yeah. That's was a dope. I love bitter rock. That is old Cobbs turn. Old Cobbb is gonna try to get out of it. Come on buddy. Uh, ooh, Ol' Cobb snaps out of it. Yes! Yeah!

That was, wait, have I missed, what have I missed? Everything. Everything. You shot, you tried to stab me, man. Do I have crick-rott? Just run away. Why the fuck, the sword out, I have a gun.

You tried to do it with a sword. You said we weren't best friends, Cod. You said we weren't best friends, man. You're our man, love you, man. You love you, man. He starts crying. OK, at the end of Ol' Cobb's turn, she's going to use a legendary action to go after her one.

She's taking the attack on him. She rules a two. Shout out to the two crew. That's one miss. One wasted goddamn legendary action for my goddamn double lord person. Let's go Luna. That is Luna's turn she takes Luna two

swings she rolls a god damn three to four this is not not you are not earning that dinner back up to hard one all right I'm swinging at her with the axe nobody can jump in front of it now no balanore's back bev is back yeah great 21 to hit bev is kind of back balanore's by the bags he can't cause any trouble back nor Nine damage nine damage, okay, and I'll take my second swing another 21 to hit okay 12 damage All right, she's starting to look pretty messed up. I'm rolling so poor on the damage though

Hmm at the end of hard ones turn she's going to command Balnor to rush forward and attack Moonshine. Right on, come on. He gets a 19 to hit. That's a Balnor critical. That's me. Oh. No, no, no, no, no, he didn't roll an 19.

Oh, yeah, he hits. Jesus, 14 damage from Boundore. Go ahead. Hey, Boundore, do another few. As he hits me, I'm like, honestly, I'm just proud of you for getting stronger. It's so poetic that he hits you underneath the spectral pop-up that you use to save him.

There's like, raindrops of milk pouring down. Yeah, it's like slow motion. The slice is coming through like drops of milk. Oh no, there's like red blood mixing with the milk. Yeah, that's like the quinterin-tino thing is my blood combining with the milk. So Boundor connects and slices into moonshine for 14 damage.

Moonshine, give me a DC 17 Constitution saving throw to keep spectral pop- hog going with your concentration. I do not get it. Mother no. The bill is right up here as Balnor swings into you. Munchan, that is your turn. Right. So I'm bringing Bevy back. Yeah. I'm a heel for 21 to be.

Ooh. And then 12 algae to my girl. Geez. She's looking pretty messed up. Balnor's turn. He's going to try to get out of it. I did a good job getting rid of the big possum. Question mark.

Balnor, that was bad. No, that was bad. That was bad, no. That was bad, no. He does. He snaps out of it. OK, balnor. Hey, try to not let that happen again.

I'm sorry, what happened? I was over by the bags. Maybe just run further away, because so far you only come back into die and attack us. I'm all into a bag, Balnor. Yeah. Come the bags. That's your turn.

I want to try and get near Balnor and Old Cobb, okay, and myself, and I'm gonna cast Bless on all three of us, okay, which is going to allow us to roll a D4 and have that number to attack and saving rolls. So, that should hopefully help a little bit with these legendary throws. And that's an action, so guess to do that.

And that is Meribel's turn, and on on her turn she begins crying these black tears again Oh, Cobb you're breaking my heart. Don't you love me? Everyone with crick-rott give me wisdom saving throws Ooh What I need to beat 18. Oh, I got an 18. Oh Perfect my bonuses. I got a, I got a 19. Nice. I was worried. Okay. Uh, all cob, moon shine, Beverly all pass. Balnor does not pass.

I'm going to the bad. Will we told him to? No, he's, that was the end of his turn. He was out. He's up in the mix. We got to put a bag over his brain. Fucking Balnor. That is all cob's turn. All cob has not done anything. anything no remember we care about it now No, I do care about it. I'm like should we knock him out for his own That's not a bad idea Olcobs points his gun at Maribel and he goes I'm sorry, but I should have done this a long time ago and he takes two shots

And he hits both times. Ah! Ooh! He does 23 damage. Oh my god. He a calm. And she's looking pretty fucked up. You see she like is just pure fucking devil.

Her face goes crazy. Her black eyes are oozing tears. And she goes, I never loved you! And she swings at Ol' Cobb with a legendary action and she hits him. That's not your girlfriend anymore, man. See, this is what we're saying. Why is she saying that, man? You can do better.

Trust me, as a guy who's been in a relationship, I know. She hits him for 16. That is Luna's turn. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs. There a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered. Now we all know when the legwear war begins and we're forced to choose a side, it's gonna be difficult.

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are wearing bird dogs. To get yours and a free Yeti-style tumbler go to birddogs.com slash pop-a or enter promo code pop-a at checkout. That's birddogs.com slash pop-a or promo code pop-a for a free Yeti-style Tumblr. You won't want to take your bird dogs off, we promise you. Okay, that's it for me, go team pants, and enjoy the show. Come on Luna. Fuck it, I'm still here. It's now or never. How's still here? She hits once.

She hit her. Oh, she hits her other bite. Sometimes you're not. Sometimes you got crick-crossed. She does. She does a big four damage and then she's going to roll with her dog mouth to see if she gets crick-crossed and she fails and she gets crick-grot. Oh my God, it's like I'm predicted if I just say that I feel bad. Oh no.

So then she's just gonna keep going in old cops with another reaction. When you have a crush on somebody and then you go see their open mic night. Yeah. Oh, you know what? Luna's alright. Yeah, I know both of us are kind of like, you can have her. I don't want it to be weird between us.

She's all yours. Moonshan, no, I actually really believe in you and Luna. Oh, I felt like there was like a good vibe between you two. Kiss the kiss, that was so cute. Ha, honestly, I did that. I always wanted to move that. I was acting like someone else did it.

She would do it. So why did you better date her? I got a lot riding on this. Meanwhile, meanwhile, O'Cobbin Maribel are in a nightmare fight. Uh, all up in each other. Uh, hard one, that is your turn. I'm gonna swing on Maribel. O'Cobbin, glad you're over your axe. Let's try to kill her. That'll hit. That's 27.

27, yeah. Goddamn, fucking three on the damage nine damage nine damage. She's looking real messed up take my second attack Another 27. Oh Jesus. I'm only still good on the D20 is so bad on the 12 That's a little better though 15 damage hmm. So hard one you see little better though, 15 damage. So hard one. You see Cobb and Meribel are like wrestling just going at each other. She isn't a frenzy not being strategic at all. Hard one, finish her. I walk up behind her, I look at Moonshine and I hand her my And I handed my axe. Oh, Laura. This is your battle. Okay, my palms are sweating.

But yeah, I think I'm just going to go straight up stab her in the back like she did my real meme all. You go up behind Maribel. The axe sticks in her back. Maribel shrieks. Ah! You see the fungus atop her flesh begins to curl up and die and fall off.

There are gushes of black ooze coming off as her skin literally peels off. You see black ooze shooting out of her pores, her eyes and her mouth. Moonshine, she turns to you. You see that sort of the more devilish qualities of her, like the fungal form start to melt away. And you see the face of this like skeletally thin woman. Does she look like me?

She looks like she's related to you, but she doesn't look exactly like you. And she looks at you and she's shaking and she goes, jolly, and she collapses. And you see this monster, this fungal queen, is suddenly this frail skeletal thin woman with stark white skin and she's shaking and she looks like how you saw her in the flashback but like deathly, deathly pale and deathly ill. And you see, Ol' Cobb rushes over to her, but she's reaching out towards you, Moonshine. Jo... Joeline, is that you? Yeah, it's me. Joeline? It's me. Why'd you do all this, Maribel?

Joeline, I need to show you something. I wanted... I tried to talk to you. I tried to talk to you that day, Joly. I'm sorry, Joly. I'm here now. I'm trying to talk to you. She holds her hand out and you see like a little pse pod come out and she goes cannot. Okay I'll take your hand I'll let her take my hand. Okay she spores is you. You guys see these white and green spores like go into the air and you guys all are tripping again flashback style. You're suddenly transported back to that day when Joleen and Maribel fought. You see that the battle has just ended. Joleen offers her hand to Maribel but Maribel slaps it away. Young Cobb tries to console her, but she barrels right past him. You see her storm off into the woods, and once she's alone, she just starts weeping.

And suddenly, you see a carriage pull up, with a traveling nomish wizard at the reins. What? And theome speaks up. She pulls. And he goes, heck of a fight back there. I thought, yeah, I'd or. And Maribou goes, please, just leave me be. And he goes, I got something here. Would make you strong enough next time for sure.

And she looks up at him curiously. The gnome tosses her a book. You guys see it's the same book that you guys found in the cave with all the faces on it. He goes on the house. I was having trouble selling it anyway. You guys see the gnome rides off. Maribel looks at it curiously. Suddenly Maribel is back in the cave that you guys were exploring before, but Candelabra is her up. You see that there are lit candles. She's got this little altar, this altar to Melora. You see she's got this book out on the altar. She eyes the book with temptation. She opens the cover and reads the first page, your blood, your name, my power.

You see her considerate for a second. And then she shakes out of it. You see she casts dispel magic. She holds her hand over it. There's a burst of arcane energy. The face is on the book. Stop moving. Maribel opens the book no longer living, no longer faces moving. Maribel opens the book, goes to an empty page in the book and tears it out. And she tosses the book to the side into the corner of the room and she begins writing an ink. Dear Jell-Ling, I'm leaving the creek, not because I don't think

you're gonna be a good me-mom because well I think you're gonna be a better one than I ever could have been and I can't handle that. Not right now. I'm your older sister and I'm jealous. I'm bitter. Bitter that you're stronger than me. Wazer than me. Conder than me. I mean, for Malora's sake, I started a fight with you and you tried to shake my hand afterwards. Feel free to just tell me to piss off next time. I deserve it. I wish I could say this to your face, but I'm just, I'm not ready. I'm sorry for everything.

We'll talk when I get back. I love you. Tell Cobb not to get his trousers in his tangle, I won't be long. Love, Maribel. You see her whistle and a raven swoops in. She ties the note to his little leg and sends him off. Just outside the cave, you see hiding near a bush and watching is the gnome. As the raven flies out, the gnome waves his hand and a bolt of energy shoots the bird right out of the sky.

He walks over, grabs the letter, and smirks. You see, he transforms from a gnome to a pale elf with long white hair. You guys know this to be the physical description of the necromancer ill said. Inside the cave, Maribel is packing a bag. Suddenly ill said enters and with a flick of his wrist, he pins her against the wall with a whole person spell. She tries to resist but she's weakened from the fight earlier. Ill said it walks over to her and pulls out a dagger, he cuts her cheek

and walks over to the book with a bloody dagger, he cuts her cheek, and walks over to the book with a bloody knife. Il shes screaming as he wipes her blood on a blank page. He pulls out her letter and rips her signature from the bottom, then slaps it in the book. He holds his hand over the book, and you see black energy accumulating in his hand until finally the cover of the book begins to move again. The ripped off piece of paper is suddenly magically reattached to the book. Maribel screams as she erupts into black flame.

She instantly turns into her fungal form and breaks free from the whole person's spell. She lunges for Ilsaid and slaps the book and the dagger out of his hand, but Ilsa just smirks and... Teleports away. Maribel frantically tries to rip the page from the book, but it won't go. She tries to dispel the book, but it has no effect. With no choice left, she grabs the dagger and stabs herself.

You see, black fungus immediately begins to grow at the wound. It looks like Crick-Rot. She's essentially Crick-Rot patient zero. Maribel, barely clinging to life, crawls out of the cave and pulls herself over to the tree with her and Cobbs initials on it. You see, she's reaching for it, pawing at the bark, and whispering, I'm sorry, Jolene. I'm sorry, Jolene. I'm sorry, Jolene. You watch as the good part of Maribel dies there at the tree. She slumps over, and when

her eyes open back up, she looks angry and cruel. And with the help of her sickly gray pseudo pods, she gets to her feet and marches back toward the creek. You see the ground around her dies, but the tree remains. You guys are back inside her layer. I'm glad I didn't beat her. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry. See that through.

Yeah. Jolly, I didn't. I didn't realize how I was gonna get to say, oh, sorry. Well, here I am, and I'm going to heal you. A healer. She's all the life is out of her. She's been... Thank you.

Of course you're forgiven. I love you so much. You're my big sister. You see, she starts weeping and Mary- about you are mad that I was wiser and and braver than you but don't you understand that you're the one who trained me to be that way. You after all the things I've done you're still so hospitable, Jolly. Well, I learned it from the best.

You sure as hell didn't learn it from me. And she laughs, and she coughs. And she looks up at Cobb. Cobb is at you. She reaches up and brushes his cheek. You, you, you look awful. She reaches up and brushes his cheek You You look awful And the cob laughs he goes yeah, uh, I think maybe the last time you saw me

I was a little better for wear and you see old cob is crying. You still got that vicious V though He's still got that vicious You see though, he's still got that vicious of me. He should see. Oh boy. You see it's like when a hospital patient has been drugged off so much that she like reaches her hand onto his junk. Oh, okay. I covered Bev's eyes.

You see Olco blends down any kisses there. And she closes her eyes to go in for the kiss. And when Cobb pulls back, she doesn't open her eyes. And she just smiles and says to herself, Jolyne, I'm so glad. I'm so glad we got to work things out. Of course, I love you. I love you, Jolly.

I'll put my hands on her and all cast gentle repose. Oh, you cast. Can I just tell everyone that I was planning on killing her and then taking her body and burning it into a pile of ashes or before I killed her, telling her, I'm going to turn you into ashes and every 10 days I'm going to cast gentle repose on your ashes so you can't even re-enter the ecosystem like I was going to keep it separate from the earth like the all the closest thing to death I could think of but now I'm just using it so that she can be at peace.

Yeah you see she's kind of like choking as she's about to die and you give her a peaceful death and she just quietly goes. As soon as Maribel passes, you guys see the world around you begins to move in slow motion and all of the colors around you begin blending together. It's just black and white because everything around here is dead. It almost looks like you guys are in an oil painting. Everything is black and white except for you guys. And moonshine, you hear a voice from behind you.

You asked me to step at the fuck up, I believe? Hey, Malora. You guys see an Elvish-looking woman appear with very extreme features. Her ears are longer and pointier than a normal elf. She's taller. She looks like a distant relative of the elves, more like an ancient fey. She's dressed like a ranger with a giant sparkling green longbow. Her hair is blonde and her eyes are the most piercing shade of green you've ever seen.

And she looks at you guys and she goes, I usually don't meddle in the affairs of humans. People pray to gods to save them, but there's a natural order to things. What would happen to the lion if I were to answer the prayer of every antelope? Death is a part of life. It is natural. But what happened here in this forest is very unnatural. And I will help you heal the land. She looks deberily.

First, fire to burn what what has died, and cannot be saved. I'm a Laura. I kneel so deep. Yes. And I guess I look at my hands and where there was blood and filth, there's flame. Oh yeah, you have like full fucking flame power. Right now, you are fucking dragon ball Z. Hell yeah. You have control of fire right now. Oh, do I float? Do I fly up?

Oh hell yeah dude. Okay, I cleanse the earth. You cleanse the earth. Beverly casts a wall of fire in all directions. You see all of these black and white blended images, glow red and orange. Then she looks blended images, glow red and orange. Then she looks at you, hard one, and goes, then Earth to lay a new foundation.

You see the fires die. I'm sick. Hard one's looks not quite as cool. They're just like mud coming out of him as he powers up. Oh, I think so I raised my hands in big fists above my head like I'm about to slam the earth and then I like think better of it and I just touch the ground gently. Beautiful. You touch the ground and you see brown healthy soil comes out in all directions around you. She turns the cob and goes air air, to spread the seeds.

She throws up some green sparkling magic seeds and you see old cob whips it around, flies all around the outside of the creek and you guys see these sparkly green seeds lay all through the soil. And then she turns to you, moonshine, and she goes, and water to give it all life. I, uh, I squat and then... I do.

Please don't piss in the soil. I know I know it's a joke, I'm a weird time to joke, but... You like to keep it light. And then I just use my hands and... Like, fire hydrants in the summer. Yeah, fire hydrants in the summer. Moonshine, shoots water in all directions, and you see green around you. And suddenly this weird painting in between world

that was just black and white is suddenly green and blue and yellow. And it's got all the colors of like a beautiful spring day. I turned to Balnor and and Balanor, tuna, and tuna to go back in the water. I assume you're more of a vegetarian type. I'm going to put the tuna away. Gotta get crazy if you want that.

So the landscape around you guys is now green and lush, but you're still in this weird in-between world. Suddenly Luna pipes up nervously. Sorry I know this isn't really the time but can you can you cure my curse and you see Melora walks over to her and smiles and brushes her finger across Luna's cheek. She doesn't really have a cheek. Does he? Dogs have cheeks. Yeah, I guess she has a cheek.

On the muzzle? She brushes her muzzle and she goes, your mother was a likened thrope. You're not cursed. You were born like this. And the goddess turns to you, moonshine, and she goes, when the time comes for you to rest, call out to me, and I will take you to this forest, and you can become one of the spirits that protects it. Until we meet again, moonshine. Until we meet again. And you see, she leans down,

and she picks up Maribel into her arms, like she's a baby, and she walks off. Real quick. Maribel wasn't my mom, right? No, it doesn't matter. I don't want to know. I don't want to know. Malora turns around.

Would she like to know? No. She smiles and nods. Hey, can you tell me? Just whispered in my ear, Malora. Malora! I really like no one who's parents be- Orbs!

As she's in the distance, I say, She throws up the peace sign. She does it beautifully. As she's in the distance, I say, so how to pet our farting! She throws up the pee sign. Oh, yeah! She does it beautifully. So right, like two beautiful horns. That's my God, it is! You guys snap out of the in-between world

and you're back where you were. Only the giant mushroom dome is gone. Moonshine, this looks like the living wood that you grew up near. The landscape is green. Let me tell you, man, the living could like the living wood that you grew up near The landscape is green. Ladies and gentlemen, the living could became the living wood! I'm good! I turned a bed and I kind of glowed about the fact that I met my god.

Okay, well... I mean, that's pretty cool, right? That was so cute, babe! She's pretty great! Yeah! I feel like if I could have two gods, definitely take yours as my number two. I can, you know, I got a lot of doubts. Why not a lot of guns?

Yeah, you guys come back. The landscape is all green. The trees have all come back to life. And you can hear the babbling sounds of the crick. Oh. The crick is back, baby. Yeah, the crick is gone. You guys feel healthy.

You suddenly see movement in the trees as half of the forest of the living wood starts running towards you. Oh, no. And you guys see, you guys see green shade is like, dudes, you fucking did it! Oh, you love ants! They like why you're here, you got nuts!

You fucking did it, you see all the ants run over. They fucking, they've been beaten to belt and drop. They scoop you guys, there's scoops all around. They pick you guys up. The ants start running with you guys, carrying's scoops all around. They pick you guys up. The ants start running with you guys, carrying you guys over their shoulders. Like you just won the goddamn Super Bowl. You run to the forest,

now alive with plant and animal life. You see birds shooting down from the sky and flying alongside you as the triants run you back to the creek. I tried to- This is the creek I was telling you all about. This is even nicer than I thought. Yeah.

I like the old creek too. I know. Yeah, you see Luna looks around and she goes, uh, fuck it. And you see she turns into a full wolf. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh that goddess huh? Maybe the only one. Moonshan, as you say that Luna turns back into a werewolf and she kind of just looks off pensively and says, I've certainly got a lot to fucking think about. And it doesn't matter, I get on a stag.

Moonshan hops down from the tree and starts riding a stag bear bag. Yeah, bear bag. As you guys approach the creek, you see the entire community. All of these healthy creek elves rushing into the forest to try to find you guys. Oh, it's so many vicious vies. You see the ants begin picking them up and tossing them up in the air like babies. All these creek elves are surrounding you guys.

The youngins run over to Beverly. Fire daddy, you did it! Oh, you did it! My beautiful crick-a-tears, we done did it! The crick-a-tears! Oh, they're like boogles, they boogles! They jump all over Beverly. You forgot your crick ears!

They start bending your ears back and then... You see, Mama runs out and hops into hard ones arms. Oh my legs. I Bows so deep. I fight for your honor. I fight for your Cric. Mama my queen You bow to no possum. She bows to you. Oh I put my forehead against hers and I huffed some Cric water You see amongst all of the cricks going crazy celebrating. You also see the chosen guys, they're like the bad guys at the end of an 80s ski movie.

But they're obviously like, damn, she doesn't like throws a face. And Mimaw rushes over to you, Moon Shine. That she hugs you. I checkers, I checkers for soft spots, making sure her crick rots gone. I got no soft spots, you shine. You ain't goters my checkers first soft spots making sure crick-grots got I got no I got no soft spots you know scabs from me. I ain't hiding no scabs. Oh I kind of made peace with Maribel on your behalf. She thought I was you and I just told her I loved her and she didn't

mean to she kind of got hoodwinked. We talk about it all over hot hot pot of hot the spa show sounds like a good story I love quick food Let's put some rubbish on the boil y'all save the brown daddy Do I have enough fire left to fire up the grill? Yeah, sure why not? You Beverly fires up the grill. Yeah, sure, why not? Blue. You Beverly fires up the grill. There's a big celebration. Plenty of brown to go around. Hi, and that's where we'll end our session.

Whoa, yes. Oh my god. We did it. I can't believe we did it. Can we say that this is the last thing that we're recording right before J. Ghost is wedding? That's true. Doesn't that feel good to have be like?

This is the best night of my life. I don't care what happens next week, man. It really, I don't know if my wedding night will be able to top Beaty Maribel. And that story, man. Cut to them just playing this at your wedding. This is our first dance is in the flashback. Yeah.

Oh, man. Oh, Bravo. Well done, Murr. Good job, guys. You've got to see me. It's for the short rest. Oh, yeah. True, true.

Guys, head on over to the short rest, patreon.com slash nadpa that's n-a-d-d-p-o-d. Don't sing yet. We'll be talking more about this on our after show short rest. Guys, please it seems so trivial to plug. I know. Right. Let's just not plug it this time. We just defeated Mayor Bell. It's what Mayor Bell would have wanted. By their book, watch Disney, follow us on Twitter to Google all of us. Praise the cring. But more importantly, Google mushroom queens.

Hug your loved ones. Yeah, maybe that's better. More importantly, hug your loved ones, tug your kids in. Forgive those who have wronged you. Oh, that's good. Next on here. And maybe question if that person that you're mad at was really just tricked by a traveling gnome.

He wasn't a gnome. Ilstead, fucking devil's way. Yeah, that's a really good one. Try to understand everybody's motivations and everyone's story. Try to avoid breaking into every episode. That's like a life in life. That's what we're plugging this week

is trying to understand people who have wronged you. Try to avoid breaking down at a salad bar when you look at the mushroom. I'm gonna have trouble. All right, guys, let's go out on a solemn youth of the nation. Guys, tweet about the show using hashtag NADPod. That's NADDPOD. We are we are youth of a nation. We are we are youth of a nation, we are, we are Youth of a nation

Alright everybody, it's the end of the show and that means we need to shout out our benevolent council of elders. Benevolent bee! I'm here with Emily asked for, do you might have heard of her? No, I don't know who that is. Oh, okay, yeah, I was just being polite. Anyway, let's get started with Matthew M. The Bullie Wug Prince, actually a human prince that was cursed by a witch's spell, but loved

being a bully wug so much they just decided to run with it. Can I just say I would love to be cursed by which? That's like better than a tattoo. It sounds awful. Joe and the lover of Lucy turned fiancee of Lucy. Currently debating whether to have a live bard or an enchanted disc jockey automaton at their wedding. Either way it's gone be lit. Brad D, the only pebble pot that isn't Craven, spends most of their day removing spiders from the bathtubs of their various relatives. A.J. Loma 72, aka Steelbreaker, Hardwan's Jim Spiration, through sheer force of will they invented a third leg muscle known as KWALFs.

Sounds like it hurts. Andrew A. aka Philz Spar Ligard in the Half-Elf. During the Giant Wars, they captured a giant and made it fight against its comrades by controlling it, Ratatouille-style. They later became friends and opened the world's largest restaurant. No mercy, but tons of linguine. Taylor, Papa, the sixth legendary bard to whom no item isn't an instrument, taught Schubert and other mushrooms how to play each other like bongos, which drives the dwargers crazy. And they were already crazy.

Dillon B, a super weak wizard who wields twelve swords, which isn't a very useful skill for a warrior, but if you ever need help getting grocery bags from your car, give Dillon a call. Simon W. the bootleg of hardwan soft loss. Simon has a pet tamagachi named Software Loss and is straight up enemies with Ol' Cobb. Ho-hoo. It's hard to make Ol' Cobb not like you. Yeah, really. Danny P. Bohumi is resident artist, painted Hardwan Senior Portrait at the Dwarf in Edge. They're currently really into abstract art and have done several paintings in the gelatinous Cubism style.

Tom P. Father of the Realm, serenader of sleeping babies, his rendition of Pat the Bunny can instantly restore all your spell slots. Oh my goodness, Tom P. I'm saying for moonshine, please. Spencer Casprue, patron elder of libations, ale maker to gods and heroes of Bohemia alike. Once made an IPA so bitter, it made even Ulfgar Grimis in order a red gatorade to chase it with. Wow, I mean the talent. Pedro E, Bard of the mountains, runs a whimsical theme park called Pedro Land that is populated entirely by Logride. Love a good Logride. Don the Lemon Dwarf, despite their name Don has never eaten or even seen

a lemon. They think lemons aren't incredibly rare, golden their name, Dahn has never eaten or even seen a lemon. They think lemons aren't incredibly rare, golden gemstone, and no one's had the heart to correct them. Honestly, I would wear a necklace with a lemon on it. Griffin SD aka the stranger, the silver dragonborn Eldritch Knight, an owner of the Badger's pint inn in Tavern. The pillowments at Griffins Inn can cure Cricrot instantly. Could it told us that a while ago?

Beardman Dan taught hard one how to braid and maintain his beard before beardman Dan came along. Hard one's beard looked like absolute shit, but after studying Dan's ways, hard one was finally able to score a date with Gemma. You know, as women we don't think about the grooming that goes into a beard. Scott Deed, the hiccup wizard is super weak and knows zero spells but can cure your hiccups just by lightly booping your nose. Winner of Bahumias, best person award for 15 years in a row. Oh boy.

Aaron C, a half-work bard who's the frontman of Bahumias' first scream-o band. Oh, the passion, the emotion. Hermes W, the Bat King, the Boy King lit the Bat signal for Hermes the night that the Ola came for him, but the Bat King was like, uh, meh. Good survival instincts. T-Alex once put a blunderbuss inside a blunderbuss and it worked about as well as you'd expect. Harlias, the gnome killer, travels Bohumia hunting the evil scourge of gnome, plaguing its city, has killed more gnome than any man, and is a fucking hero for it. Thank you, Harlias.

Arguable, Parker E has the cutest little face, but his dex is also so high that he's impossible to scoop no matter how badly you want to. The unscrupable. That sounds like a...I'm not shaman. Kyle McEw owner and operator Bahumiya's own McQuannel's franchise. Every boy's McQuannel's happy meal comes with a sword, and every girl's McQuannel's happy meal also comes with a fucking sword, bitches! That's woke.

RJW, the werewolf who accidentally bit Luna and gave her like and throppy during a heavy make-out session. But he apologized and she was like, fuck it, this is pretty badass and then she just bumped him and then he went to kiss her but she headbutted him and that was honestly hot. Ha, and the Spartas, the oldest prick, Elif despite his age, he has a vicious W. That's a V on the front and the back. Nice, Adam R. Wheelza 2 handed Axe, one handed, and what it all comes down to is that Adam R's got it figured out just fine, because he's got one hand on his great Axe, and his other ones playing the piano. Brent B. Toddlannis Magic, not wizard magic though. The magic of cinema. They watched Garden State together once and now Alonist loves the shins.

That bands good. Cassandra MHP opened a rival Zumba class right next to Shea's place and she's stealing a lot of Shea's yogis. Whoa. Matsi aka Maddie and Big Crit's Mathias of House Crit. Once killed a guy during a game of rock paper scissors, Maddie can't help but crit on a foe no matter how casual. Danielle D. Danielle, the dastardly Dame so dastardly that she wants to stole to Nana's kindleaf until she restores. Oh, brutal Nana! She's more than just a worthy, vending machine.

You see, aka, Haldor Frostbuck. MVP of the Giant Wars, Crude on the SS Stormborn and Far Alongside Elias and Red, a barbarian warrior from the frigid North. Always shirtless, once tried to put a shirt on, but his muscles pulsed until it popped. His pecs will not hide. Many the mundane, accidental deity who got in the way of a lichest spell to reach divinity. When you think your phone's dead but then you realize you just locked it, that's many

smiling upon you. And what a beaming smile it is. Daniel U, aka Multiford, the owner of a sweet boat that sounds like Gilbert Godfrey. Also, he kinda sounds like Gilbert Godfrey'd. Okay, straight up, he's been lying about the boats just to hit in PA system, which honestly, he overpaid for. That's just a really expensive goof. Jordan DJ, legendary DJ of the realm.

Their beats are so fresh and magical that you never get tired dancing to them. Jeffrey S. Lord of the Fjord, Born of the sword, allergic to corn, and Achilles' level warrior whose secret weakness is a vegetable. I don't like vegetables either. Xavier C. A nice snowm, a non-trickster. Just gets up, goes to work in the morning, and goes home to their family. Yeah, alrighty, the halfling in disguise. Cutter W. A high elf, dandy turned, crrix, dump-a-tect, though recently changed their title

to Barcatect. New business cards have been ordered, but the new titles is still agonizingly slow to catch on. Lex S, a maven at being Craven, has the dubious honor of being better at hiding than Scalmaster Denny. John S.A.K. Shubbert, the mushroom, with the mroute dragon, Dwarger King Gone. Shubbert has established himself as King of Cragwater

and is working to rehabilitate the Dwarggers of their myth-roulust. We wish you luck, Shubbert. James B, the James Bond of Bohemia, orders his martinis at the Blumana in shaken, not stirred and also enchanted with magic buffs because why the hell not, he lives in a magic world. Ryan M, a lawful good rogue, walks around obeying laws and being a solid dude but could be

also met stealing stuff if they wanted to. Elena C. A real tough son of a gun had crick-rott before anyone else but just assumed it was a cold and didn't tell anyone. So brave, so brave. I just don't take medicine. Andrew M. The only crick-out who's never been tricked by a traveling gnome. Mostly because he doesn't trust people, but he's working on opening up. Good luck, Andrew. Then we've got Ricky aka.

Tricky Ricky of the Cricky once rode one of those electric ride-share scooters all the way from the Crick to Iron Deep where they are outlawed he's currently being held in a door of a prison. But I bet better was fun Andrew R sing songs to the dwarven's at the dwarvenage. They're all emotionless Dwarven songs about working hard in the minds, but still it's the thought that counts Cannibalistic athulu Olcob's therapist who he will undoubtedly need to turn to after this whole meribeld debacle I am worried about Ol Cobb after this episode.

Michael McD, head mixologist at the Blue Man in. I know you think you can't freeze alcohol, but Michael McD enchanted an ice cube tray so that he could freeze whiskey and make whiskey ice cubes to go in your whiskey. Whooo, whiskey on whiskey. Blitzbrigg Demetri, famous dorgers who owns and runs the beloved franchise, Dorgers Big Borgers.

The dorgers who work there are completely mad, so most of the burgers are rat meat, but you can't argue with the results. I mean, who knew rats would be so tasty. Victor T. Boundor's boy, whose loving dad was ripped from his family and transported to another world. Victor trained for years under his father and has never once lost a bag. Henry A. walked into the cave right after Maribel was corrupted and joked, do not go in there.

A master of keeping it light. Penfield, the most educated Crick-O-F, has only slightly worse reading comprehension than Papa. And Papa can read Mo, so that's pretty good. Haha. Colin G chooses to live in the outer rim of Ezri just because he's such a salt of the Earth guy, a working class hero. Uh, that's where I'd live. That's where all the arcane and fight clubs are.

Austin L knows where Alonus is. Now, if only the party could find Austin Elle. So lost. Lance W. A master of all weapons except the Lance leads to a lot of misunderstandings and teasing amongst the other weapons masters. Justin I also signed his name in the cursed book by accident. He was signing autographs because he's a very famous gnome bard and Ilsa just kind of slipped the book in there amongst a bunch of 8x10s and he's now he's an evil devil bard. It's very metal. Eli A works on the air cruise ship

that Polora flies on in heaven and Archangel that can make a mean margarita. Oh I'd try it. Caleb, a werewolf that is totally comfortable in their own skin. Got bit and was just like this is cool, this is who I am. Shout out to you, Caleb. Clayton M has done as much arcane as hard one, but isn't quite as lucky. Had a wild magic surge and exploded just the other day. RIP Clayton M. Oh, we'll be left some cool jagged clothing though.

TJM, old Cobb, second best friend next to Hardwan, loves huffing crick water and keeping it light when not brooding or crying about X's. The professional, a rival possum lawyer that is frequently going to court against Pawpaw wears an 80s businesswoman blazer and scrambles to the stand. Jacob C, a truly empathetic green teen scoutmaster who once led Denny beat him in a sparring match Immediately regretted it upon learning what a craven bastard Denny is and kicked his ass next time you got to Alaina M killed a giant and stole his axe It's super hard to wield and they mostly just drag it around but by God it looks cool as hell

Gone off has gone off the deep end. A wizard so powerful they can cast a spell to erase their own memory so they wouldn't have to deal with the stresses of their wizard life and is currently living as a humble quick elf. Cameron C. Hard 2 Stormcrow's original best bud used to feed him bread down by the creek. Careful though Cameron, bread isn't good for birds. No it's not, it's it's not expands in their stomach and finally mick pucks the code master who is

tirelessly working to build our website mick pucks did hack the mainframe to mess with meribales fungal network which is why she rolled that one we appreciate you mick pucks and we appreciate all of our listeners and patrons on subscribers guys head on over appreciation pooling at my feet yes head on over to the patreon patreon dot com slash nad pod to listen to the short rest and check out next week's episode thank you so much ice-waited that was a hit gun podcast MBC 뉴스 김