Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 47: Monster Hunter (A Faerie Tale)

Episode Date: January 25, 2019

The Band of Boobs continue their trek through the forest of the Free Fairy! Hardwon gets into a political argument with a pixie, Moonshine tests her poison tolerance, and Beverly channels his inner Green Teen. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music / Sound Effects Include:"Fantastic & Fuddling" by Emily Axford."Sumpin's A Mess Out West" by Emily Axford."Crackling Fire" by sagetyrtle at Freesound.org."Frozen in Time" by Emily Axford. "Puzzled" by Emily Axford."Mysterious, Yet Familiar" by Emily Axford. "Queen Cirilla" by Emily Axford. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Bahumi. Bahumiya. Bahumiya. Oh yeah, I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Herwitz, hard one, sure foot, Emily Axford. Moonchan Sabin, a sweet last with a Sadisaz. Oh, very nice. OK, that's kind of an evergreen one.

Yeah, well, you know. Evergreen like Triss? Yeah. Beautiful. And called Waltanner. They really told gold the fifth, the tallest dwarf in the Feywild. Now that hard one has sacrificed the title.

Oh my goodness. Hard one is teeny tiny, tinier than bed. Let's get into it so I can big this problem. Biggerly toadld confirmed, teeny forever, his hard one sure for us. This can't be canon. This is a nightmare. The Feywild is canon y'all.

Let's do a little recap. The last week, you guys traveled to the Feywild through the crack and the material plane and immediately got wrapped up in some fashion antigans. You appeared in a field of talking flowers, asking to be picked, but once you did so, it turned into a troll and ran away to quote, go kill some pixies and fairy folk.

You stopped him, then headed off into the forest to search for answers. There, you met a group of super-chilled dryads just hanging out and soaking in the sun. Right, right, right. They told you that all of their names were Triss and that you had to meet the Bear Prince because he knew everything. They then led you to the Bear Prince's extremely dope Bear Cave, complete with Infinity Hot Tub,

and he explained a little bit about how the Fey Wild worked. That there is a summer court and a winter court of Celie and Uncelie Fey who are constantly at odds and that you were currently in the spring court where it is always spring and always sunrise so you can get a fresh start. Based on his description of the world you could deduce that the Faye version of Glateron was in the summer court, the bear prince offered to help you get there if you could catch someone who had tried to assassinate him.

You agreed and headed into the forest of the free fairy to find this mystery assassin, however, the magic forest was full of trickery, and when a hard one attempted to climb a wall, the rest of you saw that he was shrinking. And that's where we are now. So hard one is climbing this wall, the flowers are very big at the bottom, but they get smaller as they keep going. Hard one doesn't appear to be that way, though, as you're climbing the wall, the flowers are very big at the bottom, but they get smaller as they keep going. Hard one doesn't appear to be that way though, as you're climbing the wall,

the flowers all appear to be the same size. Okay, reporting that back. But you guys down on the ground. The flowers are all the same size. Your voice is getting higher. I say, yeah, you look like you're doing a good job, Hard one. You're playing in, should we tell them?

Yeah, Hard one is shrinking. The higher he gets, the smaller he gets. Oh, I don't know what to do because we can't straight up tell him, because I'll freak out and just plummet. Hey, hard one, Triss needed to tell you something. She came back. What's up? What's up, Triss?

Oh yeah, Triss came back. You wanna scramble back down just for a second? Oh, sure, yeah, whatever. Hard one. As you're up, you're about halfway up the wall. You are about half a wing size now. But as you climb up the wall, go ahead and give me a perception check.

As I climb up the wall? As, yeah, as you were climbing up. 11. Okay, you didn't see anything yet. You climbed back down the wall, guys. As he climbs back down the wall, he does not change back. Oh no.

Oh. Harder, you look up and you see Moonshan is way taller than you and that Beverly is your size and Valnor. Why am I looking Beverly in the eyes? What's up, man? You shrank a little when you climbed the wall. Why didn't anybody tell me that? Okay, well that's why we called you down. We weren't trying to alarm you. Oh quick. They got trishes in here

When trying climb upside down and maybe you can reverse it. It's a good idea try that You start to climb upside down. It does not do anything. But you do not get smaller Hey, you look a little cold and I put my blazer on him. I'm assuming. It fits perfectly. Oh, no. Okay, here's the new plan.

Let's see if I just, I'm gonna climb up over down the other side. Okay. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hard one, you began climbing back up. Hard one, as he climbs even higher, you guys see that he gets even smaller. Oh no, how are they looking?

Hard one, give me another perception check. Five. Five. You still don't see it. I'm cursed by perception check. You keep going up. Ben and Moonshan, you lose sight of hard one. Hard one, as you're climbing,

and like I said before, the flowers are staying the same size because they're getting smaller, as you're getting smaller. The flowers start to look unhealthy and you start to feel very sick. Go ahead and give me a constitution saving throw. 15. Can we still see him? No, he's lost up amongst the flowers.

Okay. Hard one, hard one, you take aid constitution damage. Your constitution goes down by one. Was he climbing up with a rope? Yes. All right, can we let tug on the rope and see if he tugs back? Sure. You tug on the rope, hard to make a dexterity saving throw.

Oh no. The rope's too big. 21. Beverly massive compared to you. You are fucking teeny tiny as you near the top of the wall. Beverly yanks the rope. You almost fly off the ground. You were hanging on this giant rope.

Shoot it! How tall is the wall? 100 feet. And am I all the way at the top right now? You're nearing the top. I guess if I'm feeling this sick, I'll probably climb down. Okay, you start to climb down.

Hard one, give me a perception check as you climb down. Oh boy. Oh boy, 17. 17, hard one. As you start to climb down. Hard one, give me a perception check as you climb down. Oh boy. Oh boy, 17. 17. Hard one. As you start to climb down, you notice amidst the flowers hiding behind it, there is a tunnel.

And you can fit into it as a little guy. Oh. Oh. So you start yelling down to them. You guys look up. Even if you guys use some kind of looking glass or something, it looks like the size of a quarter. There's a huge tunnel up here.

You hear it B? Is it huge or are you just uh go on? What? Nothing. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. We're not worried about it. I love it.

What were you saying? Huge tunnel. We're there. I guess I'm going to uh I guess I'm just going to do the same same thing and I'm gonna climb up and meet him at the tunnel. Cool. You guys, so the tunnel is before the flower start dying, so you do get teeny tiny, but you don't get sick. Oh, okay, okay, okay. Yeah, hard one was just climbing over and was just failing perception checks. I had to be lazy. It's something to prove. Yeah.

Can I have my blazer back now? It's way too big for me. It's way too big for me. OK, so you guys all climb up, become teeny tiny, you assume. You guys look normal size to you. I guess the rope is very big. Wait, when a hard one sees us getting smaller, does he think that it's him becoming normal size again?

Tough to hard one. Thank God. You ha ha ha. You guys all get up a little bit higher than halfway, about 70 feet up the wall. And you poke your head into this tunnel. You see that there is torch light, red torches, like just normal orange red fire along the sides of the tunnel and you do see down the way they turn green and they keep going and you see a little bit

of daylight at the other end of the tunnel. Okay tips up let's do this. I mean red and green what does that mean to us right now? Well I mean green seems to be the color of the Feywild. But red and green are stop and go. What could that potentially mean in the context of this tunnel? Everything is the opposite. So green means stop.

Where? Where do you still tripping on that tab? I'm with you. Oh, guys, sure. Where does the color switch? About halfway across. OK, so let's walk to the halfway point. Let's walk to the halfway point. Let's walk to the halfway point.

All of you at the same time. No. Okay, I'll go first. Okay, Beverly, you walk into the tunnel. You've got normal torches on either side of you until you reach the middle. You go to cross your foot. I don't wanna cross yet.

Okay, what I wanna do is I wanna grab one of the torches from the wall. Okay. And I wanna hold that torch out over the wall and see what happens. Okay. What I want to do is I want to grab one of the torches from the wall. Okay. And I want to hold that torch out over the wall and see what happens. Okay. Over the line. Got it. When you take a red torch out and you put it to the other side, it turns green.

Okay. So there's some sort of barrier here. The torch doesn't change in any other way. The color, color, green, that's it. Can anyone like summon anything? Do I detect any animal presence around here? Oh, I mean, do you want me to just like, okay, what if I use my chill touch and just throw my chill touch across the down, it's 120 feet is the range? Okay. I don't know how that scales when I'm small shine, but like, I want

to just throw my 120 foot chill touch across like my necrotic hand. You throw your necrotic hand. Bev, you see it fly past you, and then suddenly you feel it fly behind you. It's coming right back at hard one and moonshine. What is the attack on that? It's a tiny touch.

It's a loop. It's a ranged spell attack. Okay. Do I gotta do it? So make a spell attack against yourself. I guess we'll just hit one target. Oh, thank God our old low. That's gonna be a 10.

Cool. Necrotic hand comes back, tries to slap you. Just flies in, flies right back out. I slap it away. What you doing? So, The hand back out. I slide it away, what you doing? So. The hand was trying to get fresh with you. So this is the opposite.

It's our mirror images, right? It seems that way. It seems similar to just the farewell in general. It's like a mini micro-castic farewell. Is there, if there is a way to just swap it so that these torches were green, we could just get out the side that we're already on, right? Yeah.

Is that insane? Or we could just, I don't know, maybe we could just get out now. Can I like, I wanna toss a javelin, but not all the way down the hall, just kind of halfway. We'll say the tunnel's like 70 feet long. Okay. How far do you wanna throw the javelin? Like 35 feet.

You throw it, and you feel like you're looking down the tunnel towards the daylight at the other end of the tunnel. And suddenly you blink and you've thrown it at moonshine and hard one. Oh, okay, sorry about that. But it like bangs short of the, all right.

Nice to us. Ha ha ha. Take it easy. Small one. Small wonder. Ha ha ha. Take it easy. Small one. Small wonder. Ha ha ha. Oh yeah, hard one did climb higher, so he is smaller than everyone now.

Oh, oh. Oh, you're even tinier. I'm just gonna walk through. Okay, I'm gonna cross over. You go through the little invisible barrier. Suddenly, the torches are red again, and you're facing a mooch-end and hard one. I'm gonna go to the very edge of it,

and then I'm gonna misty step. Okay. You misty step forward, and you appear backwards. At the last second, you basically turn around, and you're back amongst the red fire. Okay I'm just gonna attack the the barrier. You go to swing at the invisible barrier, you swing your sword at nothing. Okay I shout you win. Oh grandfay. We have succumbed to your riddle. Show yourself so that we may kiss your mighty feet. Okay I'm just gonna leave out the entrance

Tell me how you do that. I'm going to I think I'm gonna walk into I'm gonna like walk through Okay, so Mochang you walk with red torches to your side Walk until there are green torches. They turn red once you get there. Cool. I just keep walking You walk back your back where you were where you climbed up I want to try something. Okay, I'm gonna activate my feather fall and I'm just gonna run out The the red torch entrance. Okay, you've run out the red torch entrance. You fall off the wall ever so slowly. Go back down. You painstakingly, you are now a teeny boy. You're like a tick climbing a wall. You guys wait like two hours for

Bev to show up again. Well that didn't work. Still bigger than hard one though. I'm gonna do that thing where I put the torch through the thing. But the torch through the thing, it turns from red to green. Okay, wait, I'm gonna put a torch through. I'm gonna extinguish it, put it through and try and catch the green light from the other side. That's good. Okay, you catch the green light. When you're hanging it over the invisible barrier,

it stays green. Are you pulling it back? What are you doing? You pull it back, turns red. I like myself on fire. Yes, well. I will. Okay, I want to walk backwards through this barrier.

You're going to walk backwards. Okay, you go back from whence you came. You're walking red torches on both sides of you guys. You hit the invisible barrier. I'm going to turn it on moonwalk, baby. Who's got the biggest ass among us? You hit the barrier, the torches on the other side turn from green to red. And you just walk backwards and you start making progress.

You see Bev and hard one getting further away. Just doing some sort of moonshine walk. You guys see moonshine walking in the green flame. We start walking. We start walking. We start walking. We start walking. We start walking.

We start walking. We start walking. We start walking. We start walking. We start walking. We start walking. We start walking. We start walking.

We start walking. We start walking. We start walking. We start walking. We start walking. We start walking. We start walking. We start walking. We start walking. We start walking. We start walking. We start walking. We start walking. We start walking. We start walking. You guys make it to the end of the tunnel being ever so careful not to like fly off.

As you reach the end you see in the smoke of the torches there is a little like magic message for you guys. It says grow like a flower. Just says grow like a flower. Wait it's written in smokeware. Just in the torches. The torches just like make a magic script. I drink water and soak up the sun.

I drink water and bury myself underground. Dope. While you're in the tunnel or when you're out. I was when we're out. Cool. As soon as you get out, you chug some water, you climb up high enough that you can get a little sunlight and you go back to normal suns.

Bottle synthesis, baby. So we didn't need to bury ourselves. I was, I'm underground, I've burned myself. Hard one. You can inform Moonshan that you've grown a normal size in that she doesn't need to bury herself. Moonshan, I'm huge again. It's too late, I've buried myself.

I write out thank you with the torch. You're welcome. Oh. All right, so I'm playing Goofs on us. All right, I'm gonna scale down this thing. Yep, sweet. You guys get out this side of the wall is not like the other side.

You don't grow or shrink based on as you climate. But you do see that over here, there are like nanorflies. What? In the woods? Yeah, like big buzzing terrifying creatures. If you guys did not drink water, put water on yourselves,

you guys would have had to fight giant bugs here. It's sort of a honey-ish-runked the kid situation. It was kind of excited for it, but you know when you guys, you got it, all right. I take out my nanorine and try and make them. Go ahead and do like an, uh, slight a hand check to see if you can grab an inner fly in your jar. I'll help. Cool. Everybody do a slight of hand as you

chase an inner fly. Hard one doesn't really want to do it because I got a four. I got a 15. Okay. Okay. Okay. That catches an inner fly in a jar. I cup it delicately and I hand it to do it because I got a four. I got a 15. Okay. Okay, that catches an enter flying a jar. I cup it delicately and I hand it to you. I introduce it to my jar. They instantly begin fucking. Wow. That's it.

Wow, I just had to, but somebody's getting laid on the tube. Violin fucking. That's a mammalian penis. Sorry. It's a vulva. What is that doing there on that bug? You're gonna be okay, little nanoflop.

We're going to make you family. Oh, they glow when they do it. Oh, yeah. You always know when they're doing it. Bev, it's just right. It smells bad now. God, and the nanoflop are doing it. It smells like shit.

That's the varimones. You think they'd smell like bananas, but does this pheromone? Is this like potent? Could we bottle this and sell it as like a? It's in a bottle. Yeah. Yeah. Nanderfly fuck juice. They call it out of the crack. Whoa. Should we ever do? Should we pivot from saving the world and just

kind of cash it? Yeah. Sell horny goat weed to truckers. So you guys climb down. You guys continue traveling through the woods, staying far away from the whips so that I'm going to say you guys are just kind of like going quietly. I'm not going to make you do stealth rolls unless you get super close, but you guys are far enough away. Let me know whenever we are, whenever we get close, I'll cast Pass Without Trace. Cool. So I'm gonna do one more encounter check. Okay, so as you guys continue traveling through the woods, guys go ahead and give me a perception check. It's not gonna be a good day for me. 17. 15. 9. Moonshine, you see it first.

You hear a little fairy working. I'm not gonna have them do a perception check. They do not immediately notice you. You're able to like, kind of like, shush your comrades, tell them to go slow. You sneak ahead a little bit. You peek out. Are we fucking like factory labor

or are we talking intellectual? Or like, they're night moves. Is you like, hitter pattern on a typewriter? You. Let me tell you, you look out from behind a branch and you see a little fairy farmer. It's got dark blue skin and purple eyes. It almost looks like a mini drought.

It's got butterfly wings with purple and red and black. It has like a little mushroom house behind it, and it is working in a garden with like little sticks in the ground. Do you see it like tilling the soil? It's like a blue-collar fairy. Oh. Yeah.

It's the salt of the wild. You also see that there is like a horn looks to be some kind of alarm system. Along the fence around the garden, there is like a horn looks to be some kind of alarm system. Along the fence around the garden there is this little wooden structure that props it up and it is aimed out towards the whips. Okay so I'll report back. I'll tell y'all I saw a fairy, uh, tell him the soil. Cute, cute. It was honestly very endearing. He lives in a mushroom. It's quite cute.

He perhaps has some sort of a heorshi. Perhaps has some sort of horn that it can alert others to our presence. Do you think this was one of the free fairy folk that the Grizzly King warned us about? Perhaps. Perhaps. I think if we want to talk to this creature we may want to

stealthen and grab the horn and then try to have a conversation let's go yeah I can I can just stand in the way of the horn okay it is very it is tiny these things are very little maybe we stealth up and grab the horn and complement them on their cool horn and ask them how they made it. That's smart, they can't blow it while it's in our hands. Exactly. But then we don't see my worth threatening them. Yeah, we're just horn enthusiasts.

This is not just stupid idea, but I want to do it so bad. Munchan, you turn around and you see the farmer pulls a lollipop out of the ground and then brings it into his mushroom house. Y'all, they're farm and sugar. Oh, boy. Lollipops. That sounds great.

I just want to talk to this guy. Or girl. I just need to know how they're doing that. That shouldn't be scientifically possible. Let's go in. All right, someone run horn duty. So the little thing can't just make a run for the horn. You said that they went inside.

They went inside their little house. So nobody's outside right now. Not right now. We should still stealth though. Yeah. It's much smaller than you guys. So you guys make a ton of noise compared to it. I still want to stand in the way of that horn.

Is this farmer closer to the horn? Well, he's closer to it. He lives on, this thing is like seven or eight inches tall. Lives has like a little farm that is hymn sized and has like a little tiny horn. This is essentially you guys like running towards a Barbie dollhouse. If he hears you, he can blow the horn before you guys get there Let's let's stealth then yeah, okay. We are gonna try and stealth as far as we can all of you or Supposed just one of us. I mean if it was gonna still that'll probably me me because I have okay go ahead

All right, we're gonna lay in wait nearby So that's gonna be 31 I Mean yeah So that's gonna be 31. I mean, yeah. You get there, you smell this little fairy cooking the lollipop. Wait, I want to, since I've got time, I want to peek in. How is he preparing that thing? We talking butter on the skillet or what? He's got, you see, he just puts like a bar of chocolate into a pan, melts the chocolate into like a sauce,

breaks the lollipop off of the stick, crushes it into little bits of like, it was like a green lollipop, so it was lime, puts the lime over the chocolate, finishes cooking it up on the stove and then puts it in like a freezer. I cringe. This sort of like unruly use of sugar is disgusting. Moonshine, is he meal prepping?

Yeah, he is. He's got little tupperware. I think he's got a diet. That takes the joy out of life. And then our porous boards back to you guys, I'm just gonna knock and try and be friendly. Okay, we'll sneak up. I'll get to the horn. Yeah. Boundalmore, you're on horn duty. I'm pretty far knock and try and be friendly. Okay, we'll sneak up. I'll get to the horn.

Yeah. Boundle them or you're on horn duty. I'm pretty far away right now. Oh, thank you. I think you know moonshines on horn duty. Since I got this good stealth roll, I'm gonna pocket the horn. Cool.

Okay, moonshine, yeah, you pick the horn right up. It is tiny, it is like a toy. Okay. You're essentially in like the tall grass like looking through a dollhouse. I pocket it and then I gave a real plent knock. Who'd be coming by at this hour? Uh, he opens up the door and you're just there.

Ha! Moonshot's up and out of the- A giant folk giant folk! Uh, and he takes off and he starts trying to find his horn. I'm just kicking him up by the scrubs of his neck. Um, go ahead and make like a slight of hand check. Scoop him. Hey, move John. I got 16.

16. Okay, that's enough. You snatch him by the nape of his neck. Well, I get gentle scoop, like a tender scoop. You tender scoop him. He goes, get off my damn property. I'm a free fairy. I think I'm a pet, I'm a pet.

Don't fucking pet me. Fuck you. I'm a, I don't answer to'm a pet, I'm a pet, I'm a pet, don't fucking pet me, fuck you. I'm a, I don't answer to any elves. I don't answer to anybody. I ain't trying to get you to answer to anybody. Get off my property, this is my farm. I'm gonna go up there too. Oh god.

Mochai, are we bringing this guy with the, with the nannier player, what? I, I walk up and say, oh, hit a, a fellow believer in the free market. He just starts screaming. Are you putting your hand over his mouth or anything? No, that'd be aggressive. I'm a pen in him.

He starts screaming. You see in the distance a little. Okay, I shove his lollipop in his mouth. It was in the fr- You pull like a lollipop. I pull a lollipop out the ground and I shove it in his mouth. You take a lollipop out. You shove it in his mouth.

The lollipop is so much bigger than him. He's just, ah, ah, ah. Dasty. We- You could stop shipperin' about, we could talk to you and have real conversation. I do, I come and pee. Come onto my property. I'm just trying to live as a free fairy, okay?

And I've got to do that. I don't know, then I'm getting the way of that. Yeah, so what are you doing here? Hey. I'm tryin' to say, hey. Yeah, everyone's free. We're free to say, hey. You could just walk on my property. We're all about freedom, and then you're here? Hey. I'm trying to say hey. Yeah, everyone's free. We're free to say hey. You could just walk on my property.

We're all about freedom and then you're so stingy with freedom once it comes to your radius. By the way, look which side of the fence we're on. This and your property. You picked my lollipop. Listen man, we're just like you. We don't believe in taxes either. We think that your land is your land.

The government shouldn't get involved. Damn right. Give me a give you a deception There it is, that's a 19 okay, he believes I don't know hard one likes it this guy's a fairy libertarian and I This guy knows what I'm talking about see the other the silly and the unceiligated they just want to cut of it Everything you do is for the silly and the unceilig-y baby just want to cut a bit. Everything you do is for the kings and the queens but you know what? What I tell a bio-tryl is me. That's my lollipop and you know what? I will suck on my lollipop. I'm just sucking the lollipop.

Just act curiosity. What do you think about like sort of general social welfare program? I don't care. You know everybody everybody for themselves. Self-reliance. I like that. Thank you. Do you use roads? just carry that you use I fly around Us little folks got to stick together water water Sure, yeah

Yeah, I don't follow whatever damn man, right? Yeah, I don't want company or anything. Yeah, I don't follow. Whatever, Dev's man, right? Yeah, that's right. Absolutely. Big government. Big government. Big government trying to take over the little fairy. That's what I'm saying. Hey, you guys are all right.

Listen, we're just trying to make our way through here. We're looking for a bunch of troublemakers that are misappropriating funds. And we know we got to make sure that people can be free We got a hot beat on a Text collector and walking around wearing Once everyone have a driver's license Try and give everyone a number That's I know trust that yeah

Apparently walking around wearing a iron suit iron sword iron mask I see you haven't seen anything like that. I've seen that filler walking around your real troublemaker lives in a little cabin or a big cabin to me It's a very big cabin Which direction we just following it you got to go up seas and then you got to go Lucy. God damn, this point. Upsy Lucy, okay, I got it. Upsy Lucy. You know what, you guys are all right by me.

And as long as I make the choice to invite you into my home, let's all have a lollipop together now. I think you need to ask yourself how much your worldview is actually holding you back rather than setting you free. What are you talking about? I live by myself in a little busier. You just dropped yourself into being our friends by declaring that you made the choice that it was okay. I made the choice.

It's all about free will. Thank you so much. This guy knows here, have a lollipop. Is this bit candy? I'm gonna take it. I'll take it. I choke on it a little bit. Do you eat the lollipop?

Oh shit. No, I don't. Okay. I take it and I look at pop off. He looks like he wants it. I'm like, pop off. No, you know, you can't. You would love your candy. But what we love more is growing our own on our own goddamn land. God, God damn, that's right. I'll take some of the candy. No, God's only man. You know, you're a freeeloader, but you're with my buddy here, so I'll give you a lollipop. That's right. Big phantosidics here.

He gives you a big lollipop. All right. It's a regular size lollipop, rather. I was going to put it in my pocket. Okay. You take the lollipop. Nice. I don't know if we need anything else here.

I mean, I think he's just a little twerp. So maybe we just... So how do you make your living on here? You just grow your own candy? Totally off the system, off the grid? I'm off the grid and live in the dream, man. Actually, I am a big chef and I aspire to you doing some cooking yourself. I'm kind of curious.

Want to do a recipe swap? What were you making? What's it called? It's called chocolate lollipop. You take a lollipop, you crush it up, you put it in some chocolate, and then you eat the chocolate lollipop. Absolutely disgusting, you should be arrested. It sounds like, yeah, maybe that Mexican hot chocolate could be nice. Yeah, maybe I'd put a little pepper in there myself.

Yeah, I like that sandwich. I don't know what that is. You ever have a fish? You know what I have it. Alright, take a easy little one. Yeah, how about you go back home? Yeah, keep on keeping on. Yeah, I'm in my home. Can I have my horn back?

You didn't see me take it? How do you know it's in my pocket? Because I look out my window and I see that my horn's gone because I was going to run. Book it, book it, run. I'm gonna take the horn and... Put it on top of his house. Which is pinched shut.

Cause he's under no way to do it right now. He can fix it if he's... I'm gonna take the horn and then the little point where you blow on it, I'm just gonna bend it. Oh, actually. Okay, real mature. Give it to me. I'll have to sing up and ready in an hour. You haven't really demonstrated the heights of maturity. I know I'm self-sufficient out here off the grid

I'm gonna I got a little forge out back. I'm gonna melt it down Well, you know, I call the police what things go wrong but other than that I'm self-sufficient. You sure you don't watch any movies ever. I got a jaddle in my bedroom under lock and key. Your jam win would be like a tooth pick to me. Yeah. Well, I've been getting a little more. I've been the horn even more.

Please stop. All right. We're out of here. We're out of here. What was your name, by the way? Pixel. Pixel! Yeah. You don't say! It's not cute.

It's not cute. I'm a free fairy. This is stupid and I shouldn't do it. But when we're on the edge of their land where the candy is still growing, I want to do plant growth. Okay. Which is a third level spell. And I want to see how much candy I can grow. Sure, yeah, go for it. I'm going to do the one action version, which just all normal plants and 100 foot radius centered on that point become thick and overgrown.

Creature moving through the area must have been very difficult. I'm going to do the one action version, which is a third level spell. I don't want to see how much candy I can grow. Sure, yeah, go for it. He's going to think he did this by his... This is essentially what you're doing as social welfare. version and a eight hour version. I'm gonna do the one action version which just all normal plants and a hundred foot radius centered on that point become thickened overgrown creature moving through the area must been four feet of movement for every one foot it moves. Some thick ass lollipops start popping up and you see a few extras out there and you see pixel walk out on this farm he goes yeah hard work just me alone. I grab a couple and put them in my bag.

You steal some lollipops from Pixel. Can I take a shit in his mailbox? It would, he would notice. He would be like the size of his mailbox. It's not way bigger than his mailbox. It'd be like shitting in a dollhouse. Oh God, I've been so one is done that at some point. In like an underfunded playing school. Oh God, I've been so one has done that at some point in my

And underfunded playing school. You've also shit really recently you shit in the hot dog to me Can you shit in the Feywilders that always just disappear? No, you can shit in the Feywild. I was just a magic hot tub that moonshine still shouldn't have shit in I just think it's important to establish where I can and can't shit I'm still shitting of shit in. I just think it's important to establish where I can and can't shit. Yeah. Yeah. All right.

All right. Now that I've fully wasted a third level spell, I think it's time to go. I don't know that it was a waste. Wait, ask me when we're in a terrible fight. What if it was a waste or not? I think we're about to be. You could, you're not gonna be able to

cast a revivify now, right? No, I have to. Okay, cool. I got revivified, so don't worry. All right. So you guys continue traveling past pixels, little farm. And finally, you guys have traveled five miles and then you begin heading to Lucy

until you happen upon a little log cabin. It is not pixie size, it is small humanoid size. So it's like a tiny house. It's a cozy little cabin. You can see the glow of a fire inside and out front there is a small garden. What's in the garden? What's in the garden?

What's in the garden? What's in the garden? Bev, you go to the garden. No, bye. You see that there are 10 bushes in the garden. In two rows of five, all with green bushy leaves. And there's a watering can next to a small fence where it's fenced in.

Do I notice any of the techniques of the oath of the ancients? Yeah, I was wondering the same. You do not. Oh, damn. I was really thinking, oh, we might be set up to meet like one of the green nights. Yeah, it could be someone else. I think like one of the green nights. Yeah. Sick. It could be someone else.

Is there something in the description of like the iron mask, the iron armor? I was like, he just thought he was a bear. I was like, what if he was a bed's dad? He's just a bear. Is there a fire growing? Yeah. You see, there is like the glow of a fire inside the cabin.

All right, did you pass, pass without trace on all of us? I did, I don't know how long it lasts for, I think only lasts for an hour. Probably still in the rain. It lasts for an hour. We probably didn't hang out with Pixel for more than an hour.

Yeah, that's true. All right, cool. We should sneak up. Yeah, let's sneak up and kind of people window. Let's sneak up. All right, cool. Sneak and peep. You peep in the window.

It is this little stone cottage. You look inside. You see that There's like a little rocking chair. There's a little like Bear skin type rug. You don't know what animal it is. There is a lot of eyes Three okay. Oh There's a little fire roaring and like a little dinner table and like a little kitchen area You do not see anyone inside, but there is a little fire going. So a little fire going, is there a door

that we think would be a bathroom? There aren't bathrooms. Can I do a perception check if the shower's going? There's no showers out in the home. Oh, okay. Interest in here. So he's not, it's disposed. Ha, ha, ha.

It looks to be just the one room. Just real quick, you said there was just like a little garden outside. Yes. Nothing else? Is there like a stack of mail? There's no stack of mail, no. Okay. Is there any sort of like warning signs or keep off?

No. Let's just go in, sit down and be there when they get back. Or maybe they're invisible and they're inside. Can I just put my head on a swivel and see if they're nearby in their land anywhere? Go ahead and do a perception check. That's smart. 10.

You don't see them. I'll do a perception check to see if they're around 11. 9. How about that? I bet Will, Balnor, do one. Balnor does one. Balnor rolled a Nat 5. None of you guys see them around.

It's pretty clear that this person is not here, which is a little bit conspicuous because there is a fire roaring. Okay, y'all, I think that we should pretend to be carolers. Is it? It's past Christmas. No, we're not in the winter phase.

I know, we can be spring carolers I don't know don't we need to like get their attention somehow make ourselves spring cleaners Spring cleaners. Okay, we're in made service knock knock knock. You knock on the door. No answer Should we just go in I push up push. Push the door open, opens easily. Oh, did they make a fucking run for it? Do we see anything in disarray? You go into the house, go ahead and everybody give me an investigate check. 20.

9. 17. Okay, hard one and Bev, it strikes you as being a little strange that this house is so neat and It doesn't seem very lived in wait all right. I want to do an arcana check. I want to see if this is a fake house. Okay What's my arcana sorry? It's zero 14. There's certainly some fake fuckery of a foot. I want to look at the fire Okay, you look at the fire and I sent my hand in you stick your hand in and it burns It doesn't because he has resistance to fire damage. So it only takes half damage But it's fine. It's a negligible amount of damage

You feel that is a it is a real fire But you see that these are like some kind of infinity log type thing. Like there's some kind of magic going on, there's some kind of fuckery going on in here, because the logs are not fully burned. Yeah, some sort of infinite source of gas. I wanna look in the cupboards. Okay.

That'll tell us if someone has been here. That's true, if there's like table crackers or like. Boone, yeah. I'm gonna look in the kitchen. Cool, you look in the cupboards, You do see like dishes and cups and stuff, but not really anything dirty and no actual food. Bound or do you smell any tuna? Oh my god, y'all.

She's the air. We're in a fucking Airbnb. Jesus Christ. Wait a minute, look at the art on the walls. What are the use? It's cooking oil, but nothing else. Yeah, there's just one cabbages for my ke idiot. I'm a little bit of a idiot, cause I'm a little bit of a idiot. I'm a little bit of a idiot, cause I'm a little bit of a idiot. I'm a little bit of a idiot, cause I'm a little bit of a idiot.

I'm a little bit of a idiot, cause I'm a little bit of a idiot. I'm a little bit of a idiot, cause I'm a little bit of a idiot. I'm a little bit of a idiot, cause I'm a little bit of a idiot. I'm a little bit of a idiot, cause I'm a little bit of a idiot. I'm a little bit of a idiot, cause I'm a little bit of a idiot. I'm a little bit of a idiot, cause I'm a little bit of a idiot. I'm a little bit of a idiot, cause I'm a little bit of a idiot. I'm a little bit of a idiot, cause I'm a little bit of a idiot.

I'm a little bit of a idiot, cause I'm a little bit of a idiot. I'm a little bit of a idiot, cause I'm a little bit of a idiot. Anything like is there like a bookshelf that looks like I could, like can I just go around pushing on bookshelves? You can just push her in the house. You guys push her on the house. You kick around the loose boards. It looks like a regular house. The only thing that's weird about it is that it is like conspicuously not lived in for somebody who apparently lives out here by themselves.

I go back out to the garden. I go back out to the garden, yeah. Cool. You go back out to the garden. There are 10 bushes to the garden. I love those garden, yeah. Cool. You go back out to the garden. There are 10 bushes in the garden, in two rows of five, all with green bushy leaves. And then there's a watering can next to a small fence. Oh, we got a water, so shit.

We got a water, some shit. Can we look around for any kind of clues, like a welcome mat or anything that would have any numbers on it? Trying to pull up my every email for the-Mail for the check-in instructions. Did you say you have no service hard one. You're trying to like text the owner. You don't get it.

Did you say two rows of five? Yeah. Is there anything growing on the bushes? Go ahead and give me a investigate check. 15. 15 as well. Yeah. You guys inspect these little bushes.

And upon closer look, these look like healthy, little mini trees, little bonsais, trunks, little bonsais. And they all have red fruit on them. They all look identical. I take fruit off and I squish it between my fingers. Squish the fruit, protein your fingers. Juice comes out. I sniff the juice. Squish the fruit, protein your fingers. Juice comes out. Sniff the juice.

You sniff the juice. Um, you don't, you don't smell anything. I take a tiny little bit of water from the pale and I flick it on a tree. Which one? The one, uh, number number two. Uh, you flick a little bit of water on number two. Uh, you see the entire bush begins to shake and suddenly this sick, disgusting, free ant bursts out of the ground. Oh, why did you let me live?

Everybody roll initiative. No, oh boy. Oh boy. 14. Yeah, another puzzle. So that, which one was this? It was two rows of five and you did second one. Was it in the first row?

In the first row? Yeah, it was the second one in the first row. Okay. Okay, I'm running the first row. I got a 13. 14. Six. So you guys see when hard one flicks a little bit

of water onto this thing, instantly the branches start twitching. It bursts out of the ground, just this giant leaping tree ants just looks so unhealthy. Kinda like the ones you guys saw on the creek that had like crick-rott. Ooh. And you also see that the fruit that was on it,

what were like teeny tiny like grape-sized fruits, are now big, disgusting, poisonous apples that are dripping like poisonous juice. Sorry about that, guys. No, that's fine. We, and it could've been any of us. That it could be durians. They smell terrible, but they have a delicious flesh inside them.

Do not eat that. I did have jackfruit this week for the first time. It's great. It's got the consistency of pulled pork. It was some rice. Moonshine, that is your turn. All right, I go into a rage. Why did you bring me to life?

Why do you, why do you say here? Who are you? I'm a tree. Cool, I'll take it. Shout out to the two crew. Hey, with big time. However, I am going to spore it. OK.

For six. OK. It's the tree, Dad. Yeah, it dies. I'm going to start it. it. Okay. For six. Okay. It's the tree dead. Yeah it dies. I have to start it. It's a big beefy tree. Hard one that's your turn. Okay, wish I had my axe,

but I'm gonna hit the tree with a hammer. Cool. 27. 27. 27 hits, yeah. It does have resistance to bludgeoning, but I'll take the cold. So seven, seven, 14. 14 total? Yeah. Okay. Hits yeah, it does have resistance to bludgeoning 14 14 total yeah, okay, and then I will swing it with him again sweet

15 15 does not hit Blocks it with a branch That's cool Pretty neat, huh? He's Studdy with you honestly, he slams down on hard fun. That's a 28 to hit that hits I got bad luck against trees actually Tree weakness 18 damage on the first hit okay, and then 17 hit does not hit misses on the second hit send me the hell please

You got it. I bet turn why does so many of enemies want to die desperately I'm just gonna hack at it. I guess I'm gonna just do a Yeah, I'll go into a divine smile sweet I believe 24 will hit that will hit right and see here I believe 24 will hit that will hit. Alright, let's see here. Oh, eight times three. What's that 24? Yeah.

Wow, yeah, three eights. Woo! Shit. That's for my first attack. I'll just do a, actually, can I try and scramble up the tree? Am I not gonna attack? Sure.

So do like an athletics check to try to climb up. Cool. Five plus four nine it beats you with its athletics checks who it just throws you off cool So I'm gonna say that's your second attack. I break my spine Yeah, you are dead Damn bev dies that is Bound or turn Bound or rushes forward Got a bad history with trees hits on the first attack for six damage

and then takes a second attack and misses rolls a five. That is background two moonshine. Okay I'm just going to attack him. I miss it. You swing it blocks it with it's thick bar. I'm spores it for six though. Okay, it takes the six. That is hard one, sir.

Okay, I will swing, I wish I didn't give my axe to Ulfgar right now. I will swing. I will swing. I'll swing it up with the hammer. Ooh, I crit on it with the hammer. Nice. 15.

You're slashing to this guy. He's looking a little hurt. All right, I'm gonna take with the hammer. Nice! 15. You slashing to this guy, he's looking at a little hurt. I'm gonna take my second attack. Sweet. With L hammer. 15, that does not hit. 15 does not hit. I'll need a name for the hammer.

He slams down on you with his big old branches. That's a 22 to hit. That does. 17 damage on the first hit. Wow. That's another 22. 17 damage on the first hit. Oh. That's another 22. 17 damage on the second hit. Wow.

Uh, that is Bev's turn. All right, I'm gonna try and scramble up again. Okay, go for an athletics check. God damn it. That's a three. Okay, uh, seven. Um, he does better with his athletics check. He pushes you off.

That'll just be one attack. I'll let you do another attack if you'd like. Okay, I'll, I'll try an attack. Okay, what do one attack I'll let you do another attack if he's like okay. I'll try and attack okay What do you want to do when you scream? I want to get them berries He's got some cool fruit up there and also I want to try and maybe you'll let me do this I just I want to see if this tree is sick in a way that I can heal Prought. I mean this is just a giant tree beast. You can't like heal it Okay, I didn't know if it had like some sort, if it was infected or if something was controlling it.

No. Okay, well then I'll just give it a clean death. 17 plus nine, so 26, yeah. That's gonna be 12. 12 damage, cool. It's trying to look pretty hurt. Ballon or it'll take two quick swings at it. Crits, A. Yeah.

Crits is a 19. Cool, he does 15 damage on the first attack, and then he'll take a second attack, and he hits for another nine. So this thing is starting to look pretty messed up. Hi. That is Moonchens turn. I'm a lightning bolt him. OK, so he's going to have trees hate lightning.

And he's going to any any flammable objects um are gonna ignite him fire. All the tree. Do a dexterity saving throw my tree. Oh, right. Your nature's lightning rod. It's got a minus one of dex he gets a 13. Cool. He fails. Okay. 19. A four showing because all those damn ones and two it is very hurt. I got three ones and three twos on that roll Impressive in a way. Yeah, that's true. Okay. It's opposite day. We're in the Feywild. Okay. I'm gonna try to climb up the tree I'm attacking it. Yeah, I'm just reading through Oh, man. I did get my come-off and so I rolled it one. Okay. That's no good.

18 hits. 13 damage. No 15 damage. Okay, shit. This thing is on Death's Door, but it is- Oh, I forgot to spore it. Spore it for six. Moonshine finish it. I was gonna say you think you got poison poisonous berries? I'm just fucking poison. I'm real life poison bitch. And then Haka-Lugiannett. You Haka-Lugiannett, you see this thing freezes with a face of pure horror

and then shrinks back into the ground as a little bush. I climb on top of it. It's about time. I climb on top of it. Woo, you're on the bush. You see that this bush now doesn't have any berries on it. We get it, wait, and they all have berries except for this one. Now that you killed this one, yes.

But all the other ones still have berries. Yes. Can we pick all the berries off the trees? Yeah. What do you do with them? Eat them. Oh, throw them in the fire. All of them?

Maybe we do second row, throw them in the fire. All of them? Maybe we do second row, third one in. The three trees. Clear it up berries. Put them in the, put all the berries from the second row, third tree into the flames. I'm going to say that there are about 20 berries on the little bush. Do you guys want to throw them all in the fire?

They're 10 berries in. Okay? They're 10 berries in. Okay, 10 berries in. 10 berries in. 10 is enough that you guys throw them in the fire. You guys all take two poison damage. Oh, you guys throw these berries in, and it is insignificant enough that, you know, just like sniffing it or anything isn't gonna hurt you,

but throwing like 10 straight up berries into the fire of the fumes. The fumes poison you a little bit. Did they grow back on the tree though? They do grow back on the tree, right away. All right, they did two poison damage by putting 10 of them in the fire. I'm just gonna eat one.

Whoa, which one? Yeah. I'm gonna eat from the first row. Okay, so you're just starting to kind of go along? Okay, so you eat the first one. The berry from the first tree gives you one poison damage. So that one was poisonous. You try that one.

One next to it is the one that you killed. Okay, and then the third one in the first row, I'm gonna eat a berry alpha. Okay, you take four damage at that time the one that you killed. Okay, and then the third one in the first row, I'm gonna eat a berry alpha. Okay, you take four damage at that time. So that's all. Okay, I'll tag in. Fourth in the first row. Okay, you take one poison damage.

Okay. Wait, wait, wait, wait, I was gonna tag in. Do you want me to take some damage? No, I got it. I think it's one in the first row. Okay, two poison damage. All right, first one in the second row. Okay, four damage, four poison damage. Third one is the one that you already know as poisonous because you huffed the fumes. Okay, Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j- Blue-j-j- Blue That's just a delicious fruit. Water this bitch! Water it! Pour water on this way.

Pour water on it and you see healthy leaves grow from it. More branches sprout out along with the healthy green leaves. The stump extends into a fully grown triant with intelligent eyes and a mouth. The mouth opens and its bottom lip extends all the way to the ground creating a doorway. Could I have just accidentally poured water on this one to begin with?

Yes. Hey. If you had just like fucked around and burned water on everything, you would have had like 10 triants to fight it once. Hey Mr. Triant, what's wrong with your friends? Err, err, err. Okay.

Yeah, I'm gonna walk you. There's a few of these poured water on all of them and gone into the mouth, right? Then they could have followed us in. Friends? Yeah, okay. Yeah, I'm gonna talk to you. I'm gonna talk to you. There's a lot of water on all of them and gone into the mountains, right? Then they could have followed us in. They could have all chased you. Oh, I'm not a tech-to-prevented expert. He still would have been a strategy, though.

I also do grab a huge bushel of poison berries for later. Oh, yeah, I grab some poison berries. You guys take some poison berries. Grab a handful. I do like a little teaching session with Poff, how to be like, these? No. No.

He starts sniffing at him. No. He puts them in his mouth. We don't eat these. I take it out of his mouth, I fish it out of his mouth, I got a little rodent. Everything goes in your mouth. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs. They're a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age

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uh... should we walk into this tree yeah let's interimel if okay you guys enter the mouth of the tree uh... and you see there is a ladder going down a shaft into a tunnel below and you see torch light in that tunnel down there. I want to do that thing that people do in video games where they slide down the ladder. Okay. Then you slide down the ladder. That's cool.

Like feet around the side. It looks sick. Anyone who does it after him, it's going to look like they're posing. I see Bev do this and I try and do it, but I've just gotten a lot of food poisoning so I'm picking them all on the way. You've had me for so many poison berries. I'm trying to convince Moonshan to take a sip

from my can't do it. No, I'm trying. Moonshan, I did not stock your poison today. So you guys all go down the ladder? Yeah. You guys all descend the ladder and you enter this tunnel that's a light with torches hanging from the walls. The walls are made of thick tree roots almost as if you're inside the root network of a

giant tree, deku style. Triss? Triss, are you here? I'm just as easy as she be on my hip. It's can in my head. I doubt Moonshine up. This, Triss, this, Triss! Unstoppable!

Okay, so you guys sneak down the hall? Yeah, we still got a password for Triss. We sneak. Yeah, I'll go in the forefront. Alright, we are sneak freaks. Stumbling from the poison damage. Mooshine. Hold it together, girl.

Snips down the hall. And you do eventually come upon a bookcase that's full of like potions. They all look to be like bottled smoke of different colors and around it iron weapons line the wall. Do they look like the Humean weapons? Ooh. Uh, go ahead and give me an investigation check.

Or history? You know what? That's gonna be a tin. This looks to be a monster hunter or like a witch's lair. There's just like a lot of potions and a lot of weapons. A lot of like fairy tale van Helsing type shit. All I know is that this person was cool as heck. Cool.

Yeah, I try on a iron helmet. Do you move a helmet? Oh, no. I think, let's put our hands on them, see which ones feel jiggly, maybe. Okay, do some. Yeah, this is just a haul, does it lead to, are we at the end of the haul?

No, you're not at the end of the haul. You're not. I feel like there might be something jiggly that we can use that will, phew. You are not at the end of the haul. You're not at the end of the haul. You're not at the end of the haul. You're not at the end of the haul. You're not at the end of the haul. You're not at the end of the haul. Basically, what happens is that the haul begins to wrap around. You are in like a corner.

And there is this bookcase there with potions and weapons on the wall. And you see the weapons continue to line the wall down the wall. Okay, so I guess we should keep on sneaking down the haul. I don't know, y'all. If one of these is jiggly, let's reach for a jiggly thing. Okay, moonshan, you start j, if one of these is jiggly, let's reach for a jiggly thing.

Okay. Moonshan, you start jiggling them. They're all jiggly. They're all jiggly. Yeah, it's like the way you'd hang a guitar or something on the wall. It's just like, they're just like, they're just like, you know, you said there were

vials with smoke in them? Yes. That's cool. How many different colors? There's a purple one, a black one, a white one, a green one, all different colors. Do we know what these are? What do we know? You don't.

Okay. Probably shouldn't take one because this person seems meticulous. They might keep an inventory. I say we just keep going down this tunnel. Snake, snake, snake. I'm cool with that. We can always come back. If we go down the end of the tunnel, find nothing.

We can come back here. I really feel like we're going to kill this guy. So we can we can loot a shit. We're shaky cool Okay, you guys continue down the hall past this little bookcase. Who's leading the way? I'll be doing a show. Yeah, okay. Tell me how you're proceeding Back against the wall Your backs against the wall doing sort of like a grapevine. A grapevine? What does that mean? There's a grapevine. Like the California raisins song?

It's cat-fizzing and jumping against the wall. It's like pulling against the wall. It's like left foot first, then right then. You're cittling? Left foot first, and then you put your left foot behind you. It's like a dance move. Oh yeah, it's one of like a troversing the wall. Yeah.

Moonshine, as you are doing the great fine. Ha ha. Your left foot ever so slightly graces a trip wire. I can do this. And you see a sithe blade flies down from being hidden in the roots and goes to swing at you go ahead and give me a dexterity saving throw 14 14 does not pass oh Murr, if don't chop her head off I'll just say it's D&D. She just takes damage. Don't chop her head off

That is 13 damage. I'm guessing you guys are pretty close grouped together. Yeah, I'm gonna say Boundor's in the back Boundor's gonna have to do a dexterity saving throw because you see two more side blades ahead Swing forward and one behind you guys swings one to be heading for Boundor Boundor actually gets a 19 so he's just gonna take half damage Okay, so he takes six damage Okay, so these blades start swinging. Suddenly you guys hear a clang at the other side of the hall, and you see a small metal device bounce against the wall

and then land in the middle of the room. It's a smoke bomb. Suddenly, a fog emerges from the little device. The room begins to fill with smoke. Everyone roll initiative. Ooh boy. Okay. Okay. 13. 17. The room begins to fill with smoke everyone roll initiative. Oh boy. Okay

13 17 408 Fuck so you guys see this room fills with smoke you see a Small figure like combat rolls out from behind a corner Mochine you know that there's one side that just swung down and hit you There are two sides beyond that and there's one back Then almost hit down or so there are four in this room. They're about 10 feet apart And this person is on the other side of them. Moochine you act first This person is about 20 feet away from you. Okay, I'll be honest

I like this little person. I think they're crafty and I don't want to fuck them up just yet So I'm gonna try out my fourth level confusion. Do you need to be able to see it? Vision is a component. Okay, then you can't do it. You saw like a little shadow moving Beyond the last side then I'll cast Thorn whip on it and try and bring closer to us. Okay, go ahead and make an attack row with disadvantage Disadvantage I still get a 20 dope dude. Dang. That's very good moonshine You whip forward for a second it feels like you hit something and then you feel something to spell Did your vine with the spell the vine whip did not dispel you hold the vine back that is this person's turn is this person's turn.

On this person's turn, you see this little shadow hopping forward, super bad ass goes between the sides. It's gonna make little decks checks. It is cool, it makes it through. Gets up to you, moonshine. You see it when it appears next to you, moonshine, do you know the mirror image spell? Yeah. Okay, you see that there. You see it when it appears next to you. Moonshine, do you know the mirror image spell? Yeah. Okay. You see that there are two of it,

so you just dispelled one of them. You see that this little person wears all iron armor and an iron mask with like the little holes, like the little grates, almost like a crusader, and then they've got like a green cloak on over them. It's almost like a little Dr. Doomy, but then they've got a rapier in an axe and another sword on their back

and all kind of potions and stuff on their belt. And you see this person looks up at you and goes, what kind of fate trickery is this? They take some swings that you have 20 to hit with the rapier, nine damage, second attack with the axe is just a 15, does not hit. This dude is stacked. Then they are going to take an opportunity attack

and roll back. So, I'm gonna take an opportunity attack. While it is right next to you, even in the fog, you get a full attack. Mm-hmm. Normally, it would be disadvantage, but since it went up and attacked you, you get a normal attack on it.

Okay, well, I don't think I hit because I got a 13. Okay, this thing rolls back out of the way. You see just a little shadow bouncing away. That is Bev's turn. All right. I want to use Nature's Wrath to gum up the axes that are swinging. Okay.

Thank you. Which axe there are four? Are they within 10 feet of each other? You could get two within 10 feet. They're 10 feet apart. Let's get the two that are further down the hall. So like in the middle or all the way down? Oh, behind us two in the middle and then one.

Yes, the two in the middle then. Okay, go for it. Go ahead and give me like an arcana check to gum up both of them, otherwise I'll say you do one. Eight, it's probably just one. Okay, so you just get one. You throw up a bunch of vines and it slows down. I'll say the side that's closest to you guys.

And as a bonus action, I'll go ahead and shield of faith. I guess we're all 19. All 19. So I'll shield of faith, Belmore, then. OK. Thanks, but just looking around can't see anything. What the fuck is going on? I know, it's tough.

That is hard one's turn. I'm going to call out to this thing and say, we're not up to any fake trickery. We're not fake people. We were sent here by the by the bear prince who we think might be a douchebag. The bear prince. Spits on the ground. I don't know. I don't have any love for the bear prince but why does he hate you? I don't like your tricks. I'm gonna try to hit you with the hammer. There's nothing tricky about that. Are you running forward trying to find this thing?

Yeah, I guess. Okay, go ahead and give me a dexterity saving throw with disadvantage as you run. Actually, Bev got rid of the first side that's in front of you. Right. There's another one though, before you get to the little dude. A dexter with disadvantage?

Yeah. Jesus Christ. Okay. Okay. 23, you know what, this advantage. Okay, so you only take half. You just take three damage. Blade n, you know what this advantage is. Okay. So you only take half, you just take three damage. Blade nicks you a little bit as you go forward.

If you want to make it attack, you can make it with disadvantage. All right, you have to make it attack. Okay. Goddamn, not 20, but with disadvantage A. Oh, 18. Still hits. Yeah, it was 28.

17 on the first. Uh, 17 damage. You see one of this thing's little clones disappears. That's some fatricory, dude. You gotta adapt and overcome. I'd roll the net one. That one, you miss big time. You start to stumble back towards the side again.

You feel it like shaves your ass a little bit. Ooh, I shouldn't have such a plum rum. Okay, Boundor is gonna run forward. He's gotta take save with disadvantage. So bad for him, he's super guest hit. Careful. He gets hit for 10 damage, and then he's gonna swing at this little guy with disadvantage.

Doesn't know where he is. Misses on the first attack. Misses on the second attack, misses on the second attack. That is back up to Moonshine. Can I cast Fairy Fire on him? What does Fairy Fire do? Each object in a 20-foot cube within range is outlined in blue, green, or violet light.

Your choice, we're going for violet. Certainly could light it up. Any creature, so then everyone would get a bandage on the text. Everything would just be negated and it would just be normal again. Yeah, yeah, that's, oh, yeah, we wouldn't have disadvantage with what I'm trying to say.

Yep. Um, okay, I'm gonna cast Fairy Fire and then spores this bitch. Um, and before I spores him, I'll be like, I wanna be like, I wanna be like, just so you know, I actually don't wanna hurt you. So I'm just trying to get you calm down and then I poison him. Okay. For her. For the- down and then I poison him. Okay. Or that one.

Or that one. You cast Fairy Fire. You see Boundor lights up with a little outline, Bev lights up, hard one lights up, you light up, and this little dude lights up and starts glowing. And so you guys can all see each other. It's kind of cool. You guys are all in the fog glowing together.

We're playing laser tag. That's like laser tag, that's dope. What colors my aura? Well, we're all violet. I chose. I'm sorry, it's not like an individual. It's not like aura photographing here. All right, well, we should do that later. And you guys also see the sides now.

They also glow. Big glow red, because they're scary, cool. Moonshine, do a regular decks throw to get over to this person to spore some. Spore some. Okay. 13. 13 does not save.

Okay. 14 damage from the side. Y'all, I'm gonna go down soon. Uh-oh. A good example. Then you spores for how much? For six. Okay.

You hit the actual little dude. But now everyone will get advantage on shit. Now everyone will just be normal. Rather not have disadvantage. Not a disadvantage. Okay. Get advantage on disadvantage. Not a disadvantage. Okay. Get advantage on disadvantage, which is regular. Okay.

Okay. So this thing, combat rolls forward, uses its rapier and its axe on moonshine. Misses is on the rapier attack, hits on. Oh, I didn't use a bonus action, so I'm going to use a bonus action to look at Bev's amulet, because he's blowing in very fire. It's going all the time, don't even worry about it. Moonshine, you do take six damage from the axe. Bev, that's your turn.

Okay, on my turn, first of all, I wanna activate my sword so that the green glows through the fog. Sweet, it looks awesome. Everybody is different colors, like whatever you feel like is your mood right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm feeling very green, feeling very one with nature. And I kind of want to step towards where I think the intruder is, or where I think the figure is. And I say slowly, a teen of green is never mean.

Our hearts sublime, our souls pristine. Ah, Bev, go ahead and give me a persuasion check with advantage. Okay. What was the check for persuasion? Right, so 16. I think you're persuasive a little bit. Yeah, 16 plus 8, 24.

Jesus. Ah, Bev, continue. You hear the little dude join you. And at all times, we stay serene to clean the machine of a light unseen. You didn't minute? And you guys are closer to this little dude. And you see, they pull their weapons back.

I dropped my sword. Well are the rest of you gonna drop your weapons too? Yeah I dropped my hammer. Yeah I might just well I'm rolling like dog shit so I'm not gonna do anything with it anyways. You drop your sword. I drop my staff but hang on to my half. You guys all drop your weapons, except for Moonshine, who pretends to and just drops her staff. You see this figure drops their weapons and they go, well, if this is some kind of fake trick, this is just about the best goddamn trick I've ever seen. You see the fog clears and you guys are left in this room.

You guys still hear the kind of, reek, reek, reek, reek. A little creaking sound of the sides going back and forth. But this little dude joins you rolls forward, wearing a full iron and everything. Looks up at you, hard one and you moonshine and you Beverlyhine, and you Beverly, and goes, you look exactly the same.

Of course we do. You haven't changed a bit. Who are you? Oh my god, are you Ireland? This person reaches up and takes off their iron helm. You see a matured but familiar face. Your old green teen pal, Cran. Cran.

Now a grizzled monster hunter. She looks to be about 40. Oh my God, she still has bright blue eyes, but her curly blonde hair has turned brown and she bears a deep scar across her face. We stayed away too long. We were gone too long, Cran. 25 years.

Cran is here. We had a real day. We had a real long day. It's not your fault. This is, you're all exactly the same. Did no time pass while you were there. Time pass, but it's the fake trickery. It's different.

It felt like a really long few weeks, for sure. Not 25 years long. Hard one maybe, West. I'm gonna stop, that wasn't the most. So I'm like, I understand it was 25 years for you, but we had a long two weeks. My girlfriend's dead, man. Yeah, so we'll get to that.

Sorry to hear that. Time is extremely relative and even more so now. You know it's crazy if we were to catch up right now? You would have a lot more to tell us than we would have to tell you. I'm like 10 years older than you now. Laura. It's a fucking ridiculous. You, you, you are my slave.

You're not a slave. You're great. I'm clocking. You're done You're great. I'm clocking. You're doing well for yourself. I'm clocking moonshine just to make sure that she's not attracted to Kran. I'm not, don't worry. I'm not into Halflands.

I'm kidding. I look at Ballin' Artists. What are you saying? I'm very proud of you, my young scout. You see, for a brief second, she kind of breaks the grizzled act and looks like super excited to like hear like, good job from her big brother.

And then quickly regains her cool and goes, hey thanks, that means a lot, yeah, good, cool. Hey, anyway, we should go talk somewhere between a bunch of whirling blades. Yeah, great job on these by the way. Yeah, you really did you do this, this all-em-improvement you did yourself? Yeah, things are-

This is gonna be good for the property value. Yeah, okay. I can't even hear any squeaking, these are properly oiled. Hey, Vallor, use one of these to cut a sandwich please. Oh, Vallor, let's just hand out, fully cuts off his pinky. Oh, no!

Oh, no! Oh, fuck it, That makes right up. Cran walks over. Oh, god. I gotta use Revivify. You guys walk past the whirling blades. Once you get to the other side, she pulls a lever. They stop.

Sorry about that, by the way. You know, at first I kind of thought they were fade tricks that you guys were just some kind of manifestations of my memories or something like that. But at a certain point, you guys were just acting so much like yourselves that I thought maybe it was you and I still wanted to kind of test myself and get a scale master, like kind of kill your dad, you know. I got a couple of stabs in there that I shouldn't necessarily have gotten. They were mostly on me, but yeah. Sorry about that. It's got my I think you really only hit me. I want you to know I didn't know I did and it was helpful. I'm good. I I have a daughter

Jesus. Her name is Moon one. I'm named her after you and I have a son and a named him Beverly and after you and Irland I cry Yeah, it's so good to see you guys. It's so good to see you. I predator handshake or she predator handshakes you. Brings you guys in. You see she's got this little living space. It's cozy in here. She's got like an area to make a little fire. You see that there's like a pipe that goes up.

You kind of don't know where it goes out. It seems to be like air, you know, there seems to be like good air flow in the room. You're not gonna like suffocate and die. Yeah, maybe we'll take like a little short rest while we're down here. No, it's fine. There's no carbon monoxide. We got a detector. It's fine. You're cool. Three beeps means you're okay. And Kranset's at the edge of her bed and she starts talking to you guys.

And she goes, when we travel through the portal, we landed in the summer court. That's the main hub of the Summer Alladrian in the Celefe. King Lecesterborn and Queen Cyrilla accepted us with open arms and in return we defended their kingdom. We lived there for many years. The green teens turned into green nights. A new generation of green teens grew up, and we've had countless adventures against the Unceely. Until last year, King Leicesterborn suddenly left Queen Cyrilla and joined the Unceely Court.

King Leicesterborn is a king of the Summer Court. Okay. Pop, I'll write this down. Right here. Ha ha ha ha. The Queen's heart was broken and the entire kingdom froze over. The passionate Summer Alladron turned into depressed winter Alladron and all of the humanoids, all of the halflings, frozen place. You've got an entire army of green nights waiting for you in the summer court and they're stuck there like

statues cursed. Oh, oh God. Yeah. But like not irreversibly so. If we can, you know, melt her frozen heart, maybe we can cure the curse. He saw me with tears today. No, I know. Part of what does all this shoulder do. Wait, okay. Just seem like a queen, Cyrilla, her heart turned to cold, and that's what had the effect of turning everyone. Yeah.

Hmm. Why did you turn to stone? I was away from the city on a mission at the time. We were the only ones who weren't affected. Beth, real quick, ear muffs. No. No. Please?

Real quick. Okay, for you, Moonshine, for you. Okay, yeah. Did Beth's dad get re-buried? No, he... Okay, please. But is he, Stone? He's not frozen either. Oh! Okay, babe, you can take the earmuffs off!

It's my dad, okay. I don't know. I haven't heard from him in a year. He went to the Winter Court to try to track down King Leastaborn. We were supposed to hide out up here and wait to get word from him to find out our next move, but I haven't heard from him. Your dad didn't remarry. Your dad. And we just even asked.

I'm sorry. We knew that he as love for your mother was true. I love you guys, but it's so weird that that was your first question. I was just so sure to talk about youngins running around. I was so scared you had a 25 year old younger brother. Listen, we've been through a lot, but yeah.

Your dad was always very focused. He was serious and dedicated to protecting the summer court and the Celi Faye, but he never forgot about you or your mom or getting back to the mortal plane. The younger generation we grew up in the Faye Wild, so admittedly we took our eyes off the prize. We got pretty wrapped up in the Cely versus Unseely feuds. And you see, she starts to get emotional. I still don't understand how King Lesterborn

could leave our queen for an Unseely. Queen Ezra, the unkind of all people. She's half the queen that Queen Cerilla is. Queen Cerilla is the most beautiful, graceful creature in all of the world. Everyone here is horny, emotional, and dramatic, and I understand. Yeah, I get it. Yeah. Why are you hunting the bear prints?

Because he has Darylund. Darylund and I came up here together. Darylund's my husband. What? That is nice. Awesome. Yeah. That is so cute. Bring it in. Bring it in. Let me see that ring. Yeah, she got her ring. Yeah, she got her ring. Bring it in bring it in See that ring

I know you got the album She's got like a cool fey ring. It's like a silvered. It's for like fighting monsters and stuff. It's really cool We had it. No, he asked her did you I closed the the wedding book. He's been captured? Yes, thank you. Eyes on the prize, everyone. I'm looking at that ring, yeah.

We traveled out here. We made a temporary alliance with the Bear Prince, but you know, phase with their tricks, doing favors and such. Daryl and agreed to something. I'm not sure what, but somehow broke his word with the bear prince and was turned into one of those honey goblins.

I knew it! I knew it was gonna be a dog god damn honey goblins. Shit, that guy served me a burger in a cup. They love honey. You know those women are captives too. What? The dry ads, the dry ads, the goblins. I thought she was only a captive to me.

Wait, are you talking about tris Jeff you didn't think it was weird that they're all their names were tris I just thought that just I'm gonna think of other names pressure. No, it's a cult. It's a weird fucked up cult I'm trying to kill him so that I can break the curse and free all those people Okay, okay, they want you dead as well. Yeah. We came from the King's Court and we did not have any fun.

No, but I'm telling you, on my way, I did not. I had no intention. I believe I said it during the fight. I don't wanna kill you. I tried to cast a confusion spell on you. My intention was not to come here to kill you. I said the same thing. I said we didn't trust the bear prints.

Hey, you know what I'm doing? We trusted him at first, so don't worry about it. But the important thing is, now we're gonna get our revenge because we got ourselves a little band of boobs here. Oh, fuck yeah. Yeah, we did it. She takes her axe and she starts sharpening her rapier and that's where we'll end our session

See now now Mooshine's personal like side quest is to free Triss and have Triss still love her Yeah, and mine is to fall in love with the Queen with the frozen heart You want your Triss with Triss to make something yeah exactly well to her It's not gonna be anything to me You want your trist with trist or make something? Yeah, exactly. Well, to her. It's not going to be anything to me. No matter what. You need your trist trist to be truthful. Guys, save it for the short.

Save it for the short rest. No, they won't. They can. They should. They don't. Dude, they don't. Please. Guys, head on over to patreon.com slash nad pod and ADD POD.

Don't sing yet. Yes. To hear all of our crann theories who to thought it was crann I thought it was well I kept trying to say Dirland but I was saying Irland I knew So I knew it was one of the little green teams I knew

Did you really? Did you suspect it was crann? I knew it was Dirland or crann but I was hoping it was crann I thought it was Mr. Togled I actually did think I did think it was gonna be a girl because you kept saying they, like really, like, emphasizing that. Interesting. Wow, society.

Yeah, my subtle sexism, if it was a hero, would you just say to he? Yep, I know. And then you, and then he said, then he said the little dude, and I was like, that was the only time that you switched. If you want to hear us talking more about gender politics, head on over to Switt.

Oh, that's only for the 25-dollar tier. Yeah. Guys, just plug our projects. You can watch Hot Date, me and Emily Sketch show on Netflix. Check it out. Oh, yeah. Netflix. Netflix, the new streaming service.

You can check out our book, Hey You Up, How to Turn Your Booty Call Into Your Emergency Context, it's a theoretical relationship advice book. It's available on Amazon or Audible. Go watch us on Fantasy High, Dimension 20s D&D Play Show with our friends from College Schumer. Call it though, what do you got to plug? Ooh, check out Big City Greens. It's airing again on Disney.

We had a back-ten of episodes that's rounding out season one. Go check it out. Amazon, iTunes, Disney, and the Disney Now app, which is a thing that will come up if you search for it. Sweet. Yeah, you guys, everybody's got shows. You have shows on Netflix, you have a thing on Disney. I'm gonna plug, and I made it all by myself.

Yeah, I'm gonna do a TV show. Fuck it. Oh yeah, you got it. Oh, I have it. Oh yeah, I have only an morning. But yeah, I'm gonna do a television show. I watched the Terror on Ampst. Oh, okay.

I thought it was really great. I've heard that's really good. It is really great. Yeah, it's really, it's really cool. I also sell beard oil. Nice. Nice to go. Get that beard oil from other sister code.com. I know it's like when list. Nice to go, Kakao. Get that beard oil, brother-sister-co.com.

I love it when you get to start making it. I think we should start making a thing that we plug a show that we have no affiliation with. I'm gonna plug killing Eve. Very good. King of Hill. King of Hill's back on Hellia. So good.

That's good. Sweet guys. The Witcher, we're about to go play that. Yeah, we are going to the Witcher. Hellia. That's what Krann is. Krann's the Witcher. Oh, he sees totally inspired by the Witcher. I was thinking about the Witcher when he said that.

Yeah. And then, like, the idea that he's been cursed and turned into a honey godly novel, and I was like, this feels like such a much more precise. Yeah, I was so excited to go into the Feywild, because I was like, monster. Please save it for the short rest. Please.

Yay. Cool guys. I received you saved it for the short rest. Please. Yay. Uh, cool guys. I beseech you, save it for the short. My lord. Follow us on Twitter at CHMurf is me, at call the Ascaldor, at AXford is Emily, and at Jake Hurwitz's Jake, and tweet about the show using hashtag, Nadpod, that's any DDPOD.

We are we are. Youth of a nation. We are we are. Youth of a nation we are, we are, the youth of a nation. It's the end of the show, everybody, and that means we need to shout out our benevolent Council of Elders. Oh, boom, you thanks you. Starting with Brad D, the only pebble pot that isn't Craven, Brad D once went to a haunted

house with a bunch of their cousins, and they were afraid of a different house they saw on the way to the haunted one. J-Loma 72-A-G-A Steelbreaker, hardwons' gym inspiration, Todd Hardwan, to always wipe down the bench after you leave everything out there! Dylan B, a sword-wielding wizard who uses a bastard sword instead of a wand. Dylan would never stab anyone, though. They just like the wand pointy. Danny P. Bohumi is resident artist. Painted hard one senior portrait at the dwarf in it.

Hard wand is very grateful this portrait isn't well known because he hadn't had his glow up yet and his jaw is super undefined. Tom P. Father of the Realm and serenader of sleeping babies, Krann and Durlin would often channel Tom's calm demeanor when their kids needed to be rocked to sleep. Spencer cascabru, patron elder of libations, ale maker to gods and heroes of Bohemia like

pixels into home brewing obviously, but he still makes room in his ice chest for Spencer's hoptastic creations. Griffin SD aka the stranger, the silver dragonborn, Eldridge Knight, ex-owner of the Badgers Point in in Tavern, and current owner of the silver hypothesis Jim. Unfortunately, the Jim was located at the base of Mount Forge and was indeed destroyed. Luckily Griffin bought the dragon hazard policy

from State Farm last month, and he is covered. Griffin is going to take the money and run rather than rebuild. He's currently trying to figure out his next money maker. What a twisted narrative we have woven. Beardman Dan, the longest beard in all of Bahumia Dan, recently shaped his beard into a very pointy edge and legit killed an enemy with it very sick. Scott D, aka the dragon walker, Scott keeps a dragon as a familiar and is working on potty training him. Till then though, Scott takes his ferocious beast on a daily

walk, terrifying his neighbors. Scott carries a heavy duty trash bag to pick up the load though. Wow, awesome cute. Air and Sea, the homeless man that was used by the band of boobs to distract the chosen back and collater on. Air and felt so inspired by his own performance that he decided to distract people from, hey, look over there, an airship, made you look. Hermes W, the Bat King, just for kicks. Hermes has been beating criminals up with a baseball bat lately. It's a fun little dumbled double entendre.

RJW, the biggest boots in Bahamia. They don't fit RJ's feats, but they are huge and very fun to look upon. This is Bartis, a Tabaxi monk who loves to just lay in the sun on their side meditating. It just makes everyone who passes by super jealous. Why do I have to work while you just lounge around in the sun all day? But damn, if you're not so cute when you do it. Adam are the R-rated assassin. Every time Adam vanquishes a villain, he carves the F word into their head because it's

fucking hilarious. Cassandra MHP, aka Cassandra Max HP, Cassandra only eats poison and never rests and she's not even looking a little fucked up. Danielle the Dastardly Dame, Danielle is so dastardly that her foyer makes crayons booby traps look like a cute little game of mouse traps. QC aka Haldor Frostback MVP of the Giant Wars, Cruden the SS Stormborn and fought alongside Elias and Red. Now that Elias is dead, Hald I gain the title of hottest giant war vet?

And who could forget Manny the Monday, an accidental deity who got in the way of a lich of spell to reach divinity when it's raining really hard, but then all your meetings get canceled and you get to work from home. That's Manny. Daniel U, aka Multifor, the many face magician. One of Multifor's multiple faces is a straight-up smile emoji It's a very unsettling. Ooh creepy Jordan DJ legendary DJ of the realm Jordan voluntarily DJed

Cran's and Durlin's wedding and is on deck to DJ their young ones Benay Mitzvah Jeffrey S. Lord of the Fjord born of the sword and off to duck-tored Jeffrey can't get enough of those truck-slash-boots? Haha! Cutter-W, a high-ealth, and any turned, Crick-Barketect commissioned by the Bear Prince to make a stunning arm-war that houses the Prince's many chevron ropes. Like scats, the escape artist.

Like any adventurer, Lex has a ton of skeletons in their closet. Luckily, they also have a ton of skeleton keys that they used to keep the skeletons from coming to life and escaping. John S.A.K. Shubbert, the mushroom, John, may be a mushroom, but don't let that cat fool you. They got a huge, luscious head of hair under there. Ryan M. Hardwan's Ram, who survived the cold wilderness of Frostwin and now works for the Winter Wolves as a literal, battering ram.

His new mission, a rest hard one for arcane abuse. Alina C.S. celebrity free fairy chef, best known for innovative menu items like chocolate spaghetti, gum drop foie gras, and a big steak covered in skittles. Andrew M. Beverly's personal trainer after months of work, Andrew thought Beverly was finally starting to get some butt muscle, but it turns out it was just a sting from a huge enchanted bee. Michael McD head mixologist at the Boo Manna Inn, currently being forced by the chosen

to create a line of non-alcoholic, moct-themed mocktails to celebrate Theala's imperial takeover. Victor T. Boundore's boy, who's loving dad, was ripped from his family and transported to another world every year on the anniversary of his disappearance. Victor leaves a tuna sandwich on the highest peak of the Austrian Alps, and then Yodels' father's favorite

Steely Dan Song. Henry A. the essence from which all All Of Trinibel Eminates called Will's a nomish dirty thief who merely minds greatness from within the cosmic confines of Henry A's Amazing Brain. Just an eye, a royal court advisor who uses way too many animal metaphors when talking about their political dealings. Truly, a butterfly trapped in a spider's web built too close to the Ravens' roost if ever there was one. Clayton, I'm a claymation, Domation! Clayton used to be a regular

claymation dog, but then they rolled on some black, sculpy clay and now the rest is history. The professional, the only lawyer to successfully beat pop-on litigation, they recently set aside their legal differences to take down a corrupt mob boss Raccoon who was gouging the price of garbage and ruining the crick's economy. Jacob C. The Feywild's premiere home security puzzle technician want to keep your home secure while also giving your burglars a brain stimulating challenge. Jacob's your fail. Alaina M. a green teen of the summer court currently trying to get their self-care patch. Gone off has gone soft.

That's right underneath that gruff and grizzled exterior. There's a heart of cold. And now gone off is buying turkey dinners for every dwarf and inside. Mick Pux, the co-edmaster who created our amazing website, Mick Pux goes on, cool ass tron adventures and kills dragons made of pure malware pretty much every day. Wow, that's cool. Earl and Kathleen L. Cran and Durlin's best couple friends in the Feywild. If there's a wine Wednesday deal somewhere in the summer court, you better believe these

four are taking advantage of it. Dylan M. a talented executioner kills people with a broad sword clunch firmly between their butt cheeks. Dylan tried pulling a guillotine string with their butt for a few weeks, but it just didn't have the same panache. Yeah, I know, I wouldn't. J.I.B.G. A level 20 adventure who multi-classed at every level.

They're super strong, but can only attack once and know like 80 different camp trips. They are the multi-master. Corbin A, the grizzly duke, unlike their cousin Corbin is a super chill bear whose only crime is loving honey to dang munch. And also, mauling that one camper, but come on, that was an accident. Atlas Stormieper, a storm mage who taught moonshine how to call lightning. Every time she summons a bolt, a big electric tear falls from Atlas' eye.

Jostritch, an ostrich with a job who is also named Josh. The ostrich works at 7-Eleven and is actually up for promotion, so please fill out a survey if they ask. ELDREG, aka the DREG or not, used to pound honey meat at the Grizzly Princess place until they found it was conflict honey Now they spend their day stealing candy wine from Pixel Cameron C the greatest loot player in the Feywild was turned into a honey goblin so that they'd play in the Bear Prince's jam band Sharo Arcadia's a tiefling warlock whose tail has a mind of its own

Sharo is currently in Galatoron, but their tail is in the Feywild It makes it very hard for them to get around. Demiel R. Ramm Daniels, Evil Twin, Demiel had a relationship with a human and created the first ever goat man, disgusting. Nicholas R, the property manager for Kranz Air B&B. Nicholas has a pretty good score, but got a one star review, one time when a guest was beaten to death by a tree-end. Jennifer V, an elite monster hunter who trained Kranz and got her to get over her fear of bag. Destincy is so bad as that they shaved by using the cythplates in crann's hideout. Devin B. Akola Elemental, they have all the powers of a water elemental and the sweet, sweet taste of Coke.

Yum-um-um-um. Michael L. A rapper who partnered with the Bear Prince to throw the Feywilds version of the Fire Festival. It was a PR disaster. Sam H. A brave mousator who's currently helping Bev's dad in the Winter Court may pull or guide your hooves, Sam H. Kelvin Nudel's Apasta Elemental, their sauce is so chunky, it does an extra 2d sex of tomato damage. Sergio Salazar Solomon, a Sacarius de Sequanye, seventh of his name, a sexy proven snake folk with sweet snake patterns on his skin.

Sir Geo is so sexy that the trisses and honey goblins briefly followed him, even though they are bound by a curse to follow the bear price. Oh, wow, you got a coterie of trisses. No, that's something. Traylay, the cray-fay who eats way. Protein, that is.

Traylay is a fairy folk that is so goddamn buff that they weigh as much as your average human. Grace H was snowboarding amount forage when Wilhelm caused the avalanche pulled off a sick McTwist that honestly went underappreciated what with all the death and chaos around them. Aaron G. Master of the Banishment spell

and Master of Good Times. When Aaron shows up to your party, you can be sure the bad vibes are about to get finished. Eric B, a sorcerer who oozes charisma, literally they are a sponge folk monstrosity who oozes liquid sexiness. I want to meet some sponge folk. Jory S, as buff as hard one, but they skip leg day so they're way too top heavy. They run around bent in half dragging their upper body along. Alucard, a reverse Dracula who hates blood, they can't even be around it. They faint when they get blood taken at the doctor.

I relate to that. Baby doc, an incredibly skilled nine-month-old surgeon, baby doc, delivered cramps, babies because the Feywild is insane. So why wouldn't a baby deliver a baby? At a age, Bel Norseval Twin who doesn't have a mustache and who hates bags, dude just goes around putting holes in them. Kyle McQue, an alladrian cook who works at the Bear Princess Organic Restaurant, is extremely creeped out by their honey goblin co-workers and frequently frustrated by their insistence on covering everything in honey. Colin G, the all-as-older brother, co-enties to her as a kid and look where we are now.

This is all Colin's fault. Thanks Colin. Ryan, hard one's ram, was killed by the nobles, but then passed the trials of the ram, gods, and was reincarnated as a bigger buffer ram. Congrats Ryan. Big buck identifies as a free fave, but only because they think education and healthcare should be free. Richard F. a honey goblin who drowned at the bottom of a honeypot, then was reincarnated

as a bumblebee. If you can believe it, they enjoy more freedom, respect, and dignity as a bee. Taylor S. AKA Trast, a barbarian whose resistance to piercing damage has on more than one occasion saved them from the piercing gaze of a succubus. One of the few Bahomians who hasn't been duped by a pair of succubi. Oh, that's lucky. John W.G. the philanthropic rogue who uses their sneak attack to make sure they're always the one who holds the door for everyone.

Joy McCee uses the bodies of their dead foes as a shield, also uses them to stage elaborate scenes and trick burglars into thinking someone's home when they go out of town. Cannibalistic Ketulu started 2019 on a plant-based diet, which was really rough until they discovered Venus fly traps. What can we say? Cannibalistic Ketulu just likes their dinner to fight back a bit. Sam L. Dwarger who snapped out of the mithril lust a little while ago but doesn't really have any roles to go so they're just faking it to fit in.

Jim, Jim, Flynn, Flamma, one man traveling band who wanders, behumia spreading rhythm and melody, and keeps getting mistaken for a crush punk. Dom R. Maddie Big Crit's childhood best friend who's kind of pissed because like they know they create more than Maddie Big Crit's, but they can't take this away from Maddie so they just keep quiet. That's kind.

Matt H. A Goliath living in Hillholm who started the business called Lyft, where they carry halflings to and from various destinations. John S, the revived cyborg version of Josh the Kobold, Josh Wept to be reincarnated as a cyborg for now, no matter how many reps they do, their metal frame will never reflect their gains. Let's break the me tree, the Kanku King,

the only Kanku who has a sharp beak, but also a full set of teeth inside of it. Caleb Storm, the love child of court himself, because Caleb is a demigod they get special powers, but more importantly, access to the demigod-only dating app DemiDate. Ooh, Andrew A, the realtor who helped Cran find her house. It's really hard to find an affordable trick-and-trap house these days. James G is school, airship driver, whose amazing defensive piloting saved an entire kindergarten class when hard one cut them off one time.

Nicholas C. has starred in every single movie ever made in Bohemia, currently filming a period piece about the struggle for power between two FAY and the court of the summer queen, called The FAY for it. Matt L. has only one HP, but as so much armor that Matt has never been knocked out has literally slept through and attempted assassination. Target, the owner and proprietor of Bohumia's Beloved General Store, Target, known for its beloved mascot, Bullseye, the teacup minotaur. Mike H. the god of the under underworld, not commonly known, but underheld, there's another realm, but it's not evil or anything, it's actually really chill and they use all

the sulfuric flames to make delicious temp and yaki. Yummy! Kevin S, the exotic parrot who died their hair black to try to catch hard ones eyes. For two, maybe three days, they lived with hard one as consort, Kaka, but alas, hard one fucking forgot about them. Surprise, Rangers, the multiclast Ranger Rogue

who taught Kran everything she knows. And finally, Tribble. Tribble is a Trinnyvale Trinfluencer whose Trinstagram and Trinder are full of terst traps. Nice, that makes sense. Cool guys, thank you guys so much for listening. I will be back next week with another episode. Head on over to the Patreon. I'll listen to our short rest.

We'll catch you guys next week. Goodbye. Love you, Sweeties. We'll catch you guys next week. Goodbye. Love you, sweeties. That was a hit gun podcast.