Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 49: Milk and Honey (A Faerie Tale)

Episode Date: February 7, 2019

The Band of Boobs confront the Bear Prince and all of his douchey dryad friends! Beverly takes on a new persona, Moonshine gunks up a hot tub, and Hardwon has the absolute worst day of his life.  Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music / Sound Effects Include:"Fantastic & Fuddling" by Emily Axford."Gnome Man's Land" by Emily Axford. "The Court of the Bear Prince" by Emily Axford."Small Forest Stream" by CraftCrest at Freesound.org."Moonshine's Stump" by Emily Axford. "A Tale's End" by Emily AxfordSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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If that's something that interests you. I also wanted to shout out Cobalt Press for one of the monsters featured in today's episode. The Bear Prince is based on their Bear King in the Tomb of Beasts, so shout out to them and on with the show. Welcome to the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. [♪ Music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing. Oh, nice. Eliteration girl. Love it. And called all Tanner.

Beverly Toe Gold the fifth. Leprecha can't. Nice. Dude got stabbed by a bunch of leprecha cons last time. Some bug folk. It was bad. It is hard to trick leprecha cons. They are tricky.

Mm-hmm. Okay, guys, let's do a little recap. So last week, you guys plotted with Cran to kill the Bear Prince, but got a little tripped up on your way as it turns out, Pixel, the Pixie farmer, who you guys had had a slight altercation with, was quite angry and called the Fairy Guard on you. You were chased by a swarm of fairies, leprechaun saters, and all types of little fuckers, but you were able to just barely escape the forest where you found some unlikely allies

in the field of living flowers. Remembering your first interaction with the talking flowers, you began pulling them from the ground, turning them into pixie-hating trolls who ran into the forest and fought off the armies of the fairy for you. It's the casual war, real quick. Just a real asshole, all that war.

Just a real grassroots campaign. Nice. Thank you. It's the casual war real quick. Just a real asshole all out war. Just a real grassroots campaign. Nice. Thank you. While you took a long rest and a quiet bath in the pond at the base of the mountain, you heard the sounds of war and of trolls killing pixies in the distance. Oh, forgot the sound.

Music to my gosh dang ears. It's fine, it's fine. Cran set off to create a distraction to pull the honey goblins from the bear prints his lair. And meanwhile, you guys snuck up to confront the man himself. Unfortunately, you, Bev, were spotted and called out. And that's where we are now. All right, let's do it.

Javelin in hand, pants at waist. So Beverly, you have just pulled your pants down and tossed a Javvelin at the bear prints up in his infinity hot tub. That's Bev, baby. So go ahead and make an attack roll. Okay. That's fungal form.

While I'm watching this, I'm stealthed and I'm fungal forming. All right, I'll say that you guys have, you've- If anything that helps my stealth, I look like a rogue mushroom growth. Sure. I'm just staring at Beverly's flat ass, flat naked ass. I think I probably tripped on one of my board short legs I'm just staring at Beverly's flat ass, flat naked ass.

I think I probably tripped on one of my board short legs because I got a 12. You got a 12, okay, yeah. So you go to throw the javelin while the bear prince is talking. You drop your pants, you trip up as the momentum of the javelin takes you forward and it just dinks off the side. I wouldn't have thought it wasn't wise to pull down your pants and throw a chapel?

It was a destruction. You weren't able to. It was a destruction. You weren't able to. You weren't able to take any kind of a stance. You just threw a javelin while standing completely straight. And the javelin just goes straight into the waterfall into like a pond below.

And the stair. And the stair. The stair. Yeah, just right through a trist's head. It lands next like a pond below. And the bear. Does it bear the dry? Yeah, just right through a trist's head. Yes, it lands next to a trist, and she goes, that's fucking disgusting. Violence, please. And you see the bear prince looks down at you,

Beverly, and he goes, I'm really disappointed in you, dude. I don't care what you think of me. Judgment, this is a judge-free zone. And I-and I judge you to be a bad friend to everyone in the Feywild. And I throw another javelin. I got an role in it. 14. 18. Okay. First things first. On initiative 20, the Bear Prince is going to take a lair action. He's one of those guys. Oh. And he looks at you and goes,

Hey man, you're down there by yourself, and the kind of negative energy you're putting out there. That's why you don't have any friends, but me. I've got a lot of friends, and I get that honey. I throw up a couple of like little bee hives that explode into eight giant wasps. Oh no! Fly down it. Are they wasps or are they bees? They're big ass wasps. Fuck!

Dirk Dobbers? Yeah, yeah. I hate those things. I hate wasps. J.K. It's wasps. Hard one's cool. Beverly and Caldwell despise wasps.

They can sting multiple times. And Beverly, as they buzz down towards you, you see that they are like, roughly halfling sized, and they have little legs, like humanoid legs. Oh, these wasps. And they're like trying to talk to you like people. Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz S-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s- Just do your best by yourselves. Yeah That's what I say. I'm like fine. I'll take them all on by myself because I'm here by myself

That's right bud keep going with it. You got this, babe So they're not super strong they give a shaky thumbs up in return But they do hit for 14 damage Okay, and then I need you to give me two constitutions saving throws because you've been stung twice. They lift up their legs, they go spread eagle, and then ram their asses at you, which have giant stingers on them stab you. Would you do like a front throw? The Zazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazazaz Mazinga! These guys are sort of like grinding on bed. That's catchy, but I just don't think it's gonna catch on.

You know what, I don't really watch comedy, but these guys love the big bang theory, and I think that's fine. All right, so my first constitution is 14. Okay, plus four for my- You're good, that's safe. These are just little wasp men. And then- Oh, natural 20 on my next one natural 20 you

love it you dance like monster energy was just shot into your veins give it to me it goes right into my heart and I just bolt up like in pulp fiction um Bev that is your turn okay um so Bev on your turn uh bear prince isn't that far away this balcony it's just like a second story balcony so I'll say it's like 15 or 20 feet high. I'll say it's about 30 feet between you and like the entrance to the cave, so you can either try to run in towards this cave. You can like misty step up to him. You can get up to him in a turn if you misty step. Cool. I'm just gonna misty step up and try and smack him. Okay, sweet. So you misty step up.

You see these little beam men, these wasps men that were flying around you. Booze like a... Our super upset as you suddenly disappear and you appear in the hot tub next to the bear prince and he goes, you're gonna bring violence into my hot tub. Did you take your pants with you up there when you misty step?

I did. I did. Okay. Okay. I think what happens is I'm putting them on as I misty step. in my hot tub? Did you take your pants with you up there when you missed these steps? Are they down? Okay. Okay. I think what happens is I'm putting them on as I miss these steps, so then I land into them. Nice. Yeah.

You're gonna attack a nude man in his own hot tub. Jack knife. I'm in the tub. Go ahead and take your swing. Sorry bud, this hot tub is half full and I'm, I've got a negative outlook on life. What am I saying, I'm gonna attack you. I turned to Moonshan.

Our young friend is the only person that puts pants on to get into a hot tub. I hope he doesn't have his phone in his pocket. I'm gonna go ahead and do, Tash, did you have your speaking stone in your pocket? Oh no! Yeah, I will do a divine smile. Sweet, take a swing out.

I don't think that doesn't actually, that's only evil and undead. Yeah, I will do a divine smite. Sweet. Take a swing out. I don't think that doesn't actually, that's only evil and undead. Right, okay. Yeah. It doesn't do anything to douche. Let's reroll that one. Oh God, 14.

You miss, you swing on him. He's so, he's so used to being in his hot tub. He just like swiftly moves as if, as if he's moving through air instead of water. And I have to like jump from one seat to the other. Yeah. So I can't reach the bottom. Yeah, you like get your foot caught in, in a, in some bubble.

All right, let me try again. Fuck. Does 15 hit? 15 does not hit. Jesus Christ. He blocks you. Well, at least I'm here so he can hit me. Jesus Christ, he blocks you. Well, at least I'm here so he can hit me.

You see, nearby, there's a dry head. That's like drinking some wine and near the hot tub in his sort of chamber up there. And on the next initiative, she looks at you Beverly and she goes, oh my God, your ass is like this. So flat. That's not like this is so flat. That's not what this is about right now. Go ahead and roll up wisdom saving throw.

No. I gotta get in the fray because I gotta manage against being charmed. 11? 11's not gonna do it. Dammit. Vicious mockery. What's up with my rolls?

You took one damage. Yeah. And then you have disadvantage on your next attack roll. Me, right? Oh. It took me how much damage? One. Oh, and then you have disadvantage on your next attack role. Me, right? Oh, it took me how much damage? One. Oh, just one. Okay.

That is Moonchine's turn. All right. I would like to cast confusion on the wasps. All of them? It is a 10 foot radius. Okay. Yeah, you can get all of them because they were all surrounding a little bit. Yeah, so, and they haven't seen me or hard one

Okay, okay, they have to succeed on a wisdom saving throw or they'll be affected by it and affected target can't take Reactions and must roll a detent at the start of each of its turns to determine its behavior for that turn They roll one they move in a random direction. We roll a d8 to To figure that out two through six. They don't move or take actions this turn. Seven or eight, they must make a melee attack against a randomly determined creature. That is within reach, so that wouldn't be mere hard one. And then nine through ten, they can act normally. Okay, so we'll determine what they do if they fail. Okay, so these guys are all gonna roll saves So there's eight of them first four three out of the first four fail

So three of them have failed I'm gonna roll for another four two more fail. So five fail Sweet five confused was so five Just closing around upside down all right that time. I thought it was funny I'm gonna use my movement to make a B line as a word to their prints. That's like not funny. And get close enough to him to, I think I'm close to, I think I'll be able to get close enough

that I can spore some. How close do you have to be? I have to be within 10 feet. 10 feet, okay, you, I'm gonna say from the woods, it'll be about 30 feet to get to the wall. And I have 35. I'll have to keep, okay. Go ahead and give me an athletics check

to start to climb the wall a bit to get within like 10 feet of a. Hey, don't climb that. That's 20 feet down there. I'll slip right down there. That's 20, I don't think it goes. I'll slip right down there. You with a net 20, I'll say you slip right up

and you get to the edge of the balcony Sweet and then I use my reaction to focus force for 12 cuz I'm in fungal farm bitch moonshine get in here waters fine Thank you since I got a nat 20 can I disrobe and get in also? Yeah, you can get nude with a nat 20 Okay Moonshine actually actually as you get nude and go to get in the hot tub, he's gonna take a legendary action and he goes, um, actually girl, before you get in, you might want to take a shower. And he throws a pot of honey at you? What? That's only an 11 to hit, you fucking duck, you dodge out of the way.

You see it crashes into the wall and this disgusting sticky, high-pitched. I thought y'all had a honey shortage. You seem to be somewhat careless with your honey these days. Maybe that's why. When you're living the honey life, you need a constant income of honey. Okay, you can't just be sitting on your honey

if that makes sense. I bottle up some of the honey. If you know it, honey, you're gonna get a honey gut like my dad says That is the bear princess. He did take 12 sport damage. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes So that But that is the bear princess turn bear prince is going to he's this like Jared let a looking guy with this like Kind of shaggy beard and long brown hair beautiful blue eyes, but then it gets very hairy down in long, brown hair, beautiful blue eyes. But then he gets very hairy down his arms towards his hand.

He's got big bear paws, and he's going to swing with his big bear paws at Beverly with his claws first. He rolls a three, he misses on the first attack. Misses on the second attack rolls an eight, but then he tries to bite you. Bring it. Sorry, I know this is like super unchill, but you guys have kind of left me no choice.

You know what I mean? Hey, you know what else thing person? You know what else wasn't chill turning our friend into a dang honey goblin Hey, you know what dude? You lied to me, okay? You want to have some time. Did I lie to you? What did I say? You like my omission? Did I ever say? Did I ever say that I didn't turn your friend into a honey goblin? Oh my god. Did I ever say that in turn your friend into a honey goblin? Did I? Did I? Did I? You're not looking good in this situation.

You being upset is making me upset. You're not coming out of this one okay? You should comfort me. I know. You're a PR situation. You're out of control. Oh, you're the victim. You're the victim.

Who's that? Is someone talking down in the woods? No. It's the wasps. They're confused. I'm a freaking bazinga you do. Ah, he crits on a bite. Oh!

Okay, so, Bev, you are going to take, Bev's having Bev's bad day. Okay, it's back. Bev, you take 15 piercing damage. Wow, we, beautiful white teeth. Don't worry, Bev, I'm here for you. I can eat. And Bev, go ahead and give me a constitution saving throw.

I would love to. I'm also a vampire. Just just kidding dude. That's funny. The only vampire I like is vampire weekend I got a 20 oh so suck on my boy blood. It is poison to you Suck my flat ass. You're skin is just so hard to break. It's not a suck my flat ass. Your skin is just so hard to break. It's so gummy. You see, he's just like pulling at your very extendable skin. I'm gaming. I'm gaming, bud.

Oh, gaming is so chewy. Just can't get in there. That is Balnor's turn. Balnor is going to rush forward and go, how dare you commit crimes in a hot tub? I'm just supposed to be relaxing. We relax with you, you son of a bitch. He runs forward, Hill.

I guess take a javelin attack, fucking crits. Nice. Yeah. No more. Baby balanore. Balanore's gonna do 12 damage. Love our strong dad. Two our boy, the bear prince.

And then they'll take a second javelin attack, shout out to the two crew, he misses. Baleno is gonna run forward and try to start climbing the wall and rolls him out one. You see he slips on the rocks and falls. You gotta use the honey spots. Yeah, all wet from the condensation, from the hot tub waterfall.

You see the bear prince looks over and he goes, I told you guys to be careful with that. I told you guys to be careful with that. I told you guys to be careful That is hard once turn Somebody out there hiding in the woods They're like a little hurt deer out there Throw my javilan at the bear prince. Okay, go ahead 19 19 hits I'm gonna use my lightning this time with this guy.

Okay. Oh. Huh? I said okay. Oh all right, you said it sort of in a way that was like, you might not wanna do that. No. Oh, they're in a fuck, you're all in the hot tub.

Oh no. You. Yeah. Yeah. You're tricky little bastard. Also, honey. Also, honey is immune to lightning. Yeah, okay, so I'm just...

No, no, no, yeah. No regular old javelin and I'm not activated. The main thing is just, yep, just... Is this just a regular javelin? You fucking wish. You brought a regular javelin here, dude? 10 damage. 10 damage, okay.

Can I use my action surge to sit down and call my guardians? You can use an action to do your spirit guardians, yeah. Okay. Cool. I'm gonna say to activate them. What do you say to activate them? Make sure you summon them in their swim trunks.

Yeah, I'm gonna, in Dwarven, I'm gonna say, hey, Gemma, wake our pals. There's a pool party. You see the three Dwarven kings, the ghosts of them emerge from your hammer. You see Col dain is in front in little swim trunks and he goes, we Col dain's love a cold night out in the hot tub. Let's rock. Is one of them wearing an old-timey bathing suit?

Oh yeah, you know bronze bathing suit. Is that the one that I made out with? It's Col dain the one I made out with? Oh, this is gonna be awkward. Cheers is that you want that made out with it's cold. They know I made out with oh this is gonna be awkward Munchen how's it going we hot tubbing? I think we have tubbing up there. I got good news for you dude Munchen is up there and she's got a girlfriend I friend your and shake him yeah, yeah, it shakes you why you happy about that? At the end of your turn,

the Bear Prince is going to take a legendary action. This is his fuckboy version of a frightful roar. He goes, you guys just, you guys are so enchil, you guys just make me so mad, you make me so mad, you're making me do this, he just punches a wall. It's super intimidating. Go ahead and Bev and Moonshine give me wisdom saving. Yo, I got advantage on frightened.

It's just being charmed. Frightened. And I'm gonna need it, because I rolled a three. That's an 18. Don't forget to add plus four. 25. You're fine.

It is not scary at all. He just like, pathetically like, doesn't punch the rock quite as hard as he would. Because he doesn't want to hurt his hand and he doesn't want to break his nice wall. Can I say that act really scared at first so he thinks he got me? Ah!

What are you doing? Oh my god, I'm so scared. I hold up a speaking stone. It's just a regular rock, but I'm pretending it's a speaking stone. I say, hey, Feywild, press. The bear prince is having a meltdown right now. It's a PR nightmare. I'm not having a meltdown right now. It's a PR nightmare.

I'm not having a meltdown. I never lied to you guys. He never said that I didn't turn your friend into a holly good honey goblin. I never said that. He just admitted me to tell me the time I said that. Tell me the time. Tell me when I said that.

I just got that all on tape. You saying that. That is background to the lair action. At the start of that turn, my five very confused bugs. Go ahead and roll for the moonshine. Okay, so it's a D10, so. So we'll do these in two groups. So roll for the first three,

and then we'll have you roll again for the last two. The creature doesn't move or take action, so start. Okay, just move. Like that. He just starts slamming his ass into the ground, stinging the dirt. My spirit guardians are wondering why I brought them for this fight. No, I swear it's gonna get hard.

They are referencing TV show. Why? Honestly. Oh, you'll get CBS in heaven. I mostly called you for the hot tub And we appreciate it man. We don't we hope they don't go in We don't know on the party with those guys. Okay, so the first three guys are not gonna do anything Go ahead and roll for the last two the other two guys. They can act and move normally. They can act and move normally

Okay, so then the other five guys Five guys burgers and flies Thank you. Thank you all so much Zinga are gonna fly over to hard one Shit they saw as they are talking about them. They're gonna get fucked by the spear guardians as soon as they fucking enter They're true. They still have to make a wisdom saving throw. They might get owned right away. Get away from us, you fucking nerds. Mm-hmm.

Only one of them passes. Go ahead and roll your 3D8s. Oh, don't. And your default wisdom on the hammer is 15. So they're saved that they have to make is 15. Because you don't have a lot of wisdom. It would be bad if fun. That doesn't work. Don't worry. We'll handle it. We'll handle the smart make his 15. Because you don't have a lot of wisdom, it would be bad if fun. Don't worry, we'll handle it.

We'll handle the smart points. 15. 15 damage. These dwarves fully kill four of the wasps. Oh, awesome. We're down, and we got three that can't do shit this turn, and one that's still around. They just,

boom, boom. Die horrible deaths. Yes, but at these wasps, they could have been a problem, but they are not. You got zaps. But think of the thing was getting funnier to me. What? There's one last, too.

There's one last, too. Like smiling at you, really toothy. I like that you're leading into that. He's got a human teeth. Yeah. And he tries to ram you with his thorn ass. And he rolls an 18, he does. Ford Amage, you can go ahead and give me a Constitution

saving throw. 20. That saves. Against a wasp, believe it or not. OK, so that is a Ford Amage? Yes. A wasp with human legs. True.

I'm down. I'm down. You got it. Then that is going to be the Bear Prince's new layer action. Now that the bees have acted, he points at you, Beverly, and he goes, hey, bud, you feel like you're in the mood for some, honey? Uh, go ahead and make a- Again, you are being so cavalier with your honey.

Saving through. Cache. Oh, you're gonna see in a second. I'm actually good. Youing through. Kase. Oh, you're gonna see in a second. I'm actually good. You're gonna see, dude. Mm, seven. Mm.

You guys see Beverly turns into a honey goblin. No! Oh! He's cute, he's adorable. We'll always be able to tell him from the others because that honey goblin has a flat ass. Ah. I gotta puck her a little butt.

Yeah I'm saying like yeah well that's pretty and then I just turn into a goblin. So this yellow goblin in the hot tub. Bed that is your turn, you have not fully succumbed to it yet. But you suddenly just like love honey, you look up at the bear prints and this is the most brilliant beautiful man you've ever seen and all you want to do is Go find some giant wasps who are going to pour some honey into a bucket So that you could bring it here and sing songs and port new is mouth This person is a brand-influencer and he is a taste maker and I will do as he says

I know he's not real child. She now he's talking from his heart now. This is real I like it to make a role. Yeah, so make another constitution So I'm gonna go at the end of your turn. I really want to hear beves get the honey. Is there anything I can do? Oh, wait Sorry at the beginning of its turn a transform creature repeats the saving throw so it's the beginning of your turn, okay Scoop the honey Oh, there we go. That's gonna be 15 plus do. Oh, do I get to use my aura when I'm in honey goblin form No, he's not a paladin. He's a fucking goblin But a 15 a 15 does it. Oh, yeah

You really want to find this dude some honey and then like just the taste and the sweetness of it Reminds you of your mother's honey cakes. Oh, I do remember who you are and you, whoosh, come back and you are Beverly in full pants inside this hot tub. You think this is honey? Just wait, do you have to go later on honey, you chump? I don't know where that is. It's a real place, not like this topsy-turvy goofy town.

Oh, okay, where is it? A south, some made-up word. Go walk to winter, dude. Shut your dang beautiful mouth. And I cast protection from evil and good on who needs it the most. Maybe you. All right, yeah, I got to tell myself. Okay. Feel free to take it.

Uh-oh, creatures of these types have disadvantage on attack rolls against the target. Target also can't be charmed, frightened or possessed by them. What kind? Creature, aberration, celestial, elemental, faith, fiends, and undead. Okay, sweet. Yeah. I have a honey buff now. Okay.

Honey buff. He goes, shut up, you're annoying, dude. You won't even become a goblin for me. That's, you're not a good friend. You're an, I am a goblin. I'm a nasty little goblin. You're a nasty little goblin. You're not a good little gob You're an I am a goblin. I'm a nasty little goblin. You're a nasty little goblin You're not a good little goblin. Um, he runs forward at you. He's gonna take a legendary

Action to just take a claw attack. He makes it with disadvantage But he rolled a 15 on the first one. He's gonna add nine to that But he misses because he rolls a six on the second I don't know what kind of fucked up magic spell you're doing, but next turn I'm gonna attack your friend What's what's the opposite of honey? Charcoal? No. Oh yeah, maybe it's like,

maybe it's like some kind of like a, like when you smoke meat. Oh yeah, it's like barbecue sauce. Barbecue sauce, that's what it is. Oh, that's kind of like, that's kind of, that is the dry adds turn on the dry adds turn. Muffer trying to figure out what the opposite of honey is. Give us a second.

Yeah, I don't know, bread. It looks so low. You can see a tris, the one you made out with. Maybe right. Look up at you, moonshine. Looks up at you from the courtyard below. The one I made out with. The one you made out with.

And goes, you know when I saw you earlier, you look like kind of hot, but your mouth tastes like brown stuff. Go ahead and make a wisdom saving throw. I figured out what the opposite of honey is. 13. That actually passes. The drive is about to get, okay.

Lord, it'll be so sad. You haven't had two of her. I like to say I passed just because I'm confused and I think it's a compliment. Thank you. No, it like smells like shit like your Proffice shit. Yeah, yeah, the bro's shit. I really don't want you eat shit. You eat shit. Yeah. Yeah, no I mean and I'll teach you how to also a promise look girl just like right now is not a good time. I appreciate your attention Bear bear prints. He is going to not tag me.

I guess you know what? Bear Prince is gonna, is he gonna go again? Don't I get a chance? I know, he makes a legendary action. He is going to look at you again, Moon Shining Go. Make sure you take a shower before you get the time. How are they?

Use that line. Just make sure you get in the shower. He rolls it for it once again. It's a pot of honey breaks against the wall. Y'all, I gotta be honest, the free pay, put up a better pipe than you are. Could you just make sure that the honey doesn't get in the water?

Thank you so much. Could you clean that up? Yeah, I'll go clean that up. Great, thank you so much. We're not the help. That's Moonshire and Stern. All right, I go out and clean it up. And then I say, you know much. We're not the help. That's that's Moonshine Stern All right, I go to clean it up and then I say you know if you're Y'all having a hard time growing honey

Maybe you got a famine going on and then I cast blight on him okay So he has to do a constitution saving throw 17 It does pass but he still takes half He takes 10 damage, no chronic damage, and then I spores him for another 12. Could you not spores in the tub? Thanks so much. I said no spores zone.

I spore so much. It's like nasty chunks. It's like nasty chunks. Yeah. This is discussed. We're going to need to drain the tub. Yeah. I agree.

I agree. We realize that we're going to be doing the tub. Drain the tub. Drain the tub. Drain the tub. Yeah, our grease. I agree. We realize that we're going to be drinking the tub. Dray the tub. Dray the tub. Dray the tub. Yeah, no water, all spores. That is awesome. Cool.

That is the Bear Prince's turn. On the Bear Prince, you see that some of the hair from his chest and his wrists and his hands starts growing into little threads and sewing up some of his wounds. Oh yeah that feels good. Oh yeah, soak in the wounds in the tub, makes him heal fast. And then he is he's still in the tub. He's still in the tub. Okay, he'll take an opportunity attack from Bev to run past him. I will gladly take that attack. Okay, go for it. That is a natural 20. Sweet.

Yeah. Ooh, 14. Shit. You slash into his back, instantly open back up the wounds that he had just bandaged himself of. Shave in a haircut. Shut up. He runs forward at moonshine.

The first attack is a 22 to hit. It's gonna hit. And then go ahead and give me a constitution saving through a moonshine. The first attack is a 22 to hit. It's gonna hit. And then go ahead and give me a constitution saving throw moonshine. This is his hard bite. That's eight damage. Constitution saving throw is going to be 23. 23, you pass.

You also have super elastic skin. He bites and he goes, what have you guys been eating? What is with your skin? Well, brown stuff. I made a bunch of tougher wear on the way here. I think we had some mammoth chili. I am a bear and I cannot scratch you.

Yeah, I know. It does not speak well to your qualifications. We sleep outdoors a lot. Yeah, you are stinky, disgusting, and we need to drain our tub because you are in it You're all over me and your mouth seems to keep fine. I'm gonna be honest. I'm gonna be honest when you guys left before I already drained the tub So I have to drain the tub twice in one millennium. That's insane. You really are the victim here. I agree. I agree Two or bear print two more claw attacks.

He hits on the first claw attack. Bear Prince is making a lot of threaded tweets, and he's not looking good. 12 damage. He's way in and also a five. One of five. No one asked him about it. I just think comedians should be able to say whatever they want. Generation snowflake needs to learn.

20 to hit on the second attack. Hit. Or a third attack, rather. And that's another 15 damage. All right. I still feel good. That's Balnor's turn. Balnor is at the bottom.

He's going to use his movement to try to climb up and join you guys in the hot tub. Make room for Bailnor. He gets a 10. He, he, he, the, boreusly climbs his way up. He doesn't even make it fully up there. Just gets one hand over the side of the balcony. He just has to throw a javelin at the bear. But he crits again. Winnie Gellnor. Yeah. Hey, well, it's treating you well. This place is weird.

And I hate them. He does 14 damage. That's crazy, but I feel like Balnor's white moustache is sort of getting this salt and pepper tint to it. Did you take a sneak of that lollipop, Balnor? He hits, again, so hail and hardy. He hits her six. Like a soup.

We do have, with this is kind of a boop soup that we got going on here. You see, okay, the Bear King is gonna let out another, he's gonna use a legendary action. He's going to do a frightful roar at the end of Belmer's turn. It's actually any creature within 90 feet that can hear him, so that's also going to be a hard one. He suddenly like gets super hyped up like temper tantrum and goes,

you guys, you guys seriously better leave for I'm going to call my friends and they're strong. They're going to kick your asses up. These aren't your friends who's here? No, when the honey god, let's get back. Oh, that aren't your friends? Who's it? Who's here? No, we're not honey god. Let's get back. Oh, yeah. For your friends. You may need your friends. Yeah. Yo, hey, fake friends.

Who doesn't make their friends, right? That's why it's called making friends. Think about it. Yeah, I don't cast bells on. Roll the wisdom. Roll the wisdom. Say, a lot of times people who make friends actually got fake friends.

That's a quote I saw on Instagram. It's probably me because I posted that, dude. I'm an influencer. 13. 13. Do I get that's aura from where I am? No, no, no, no. Alright, so 16. 13 plus 417. Bound or is frightened and moonshine afraid. Is frightened. Okay, what does that mean? On your turn, you need to run as far away from him as you can get. Shit. Unless somebody breaks the spell on you or something. But you are feared right now. But I get to roll at the end or something to get out of it. You can roll at the end of your turn, yes.

That is hard one's turn. Okay. Hey, Spirit Guardians, let's go get Nathauta. Let's go. The spores are looking warm. So Wasp is going to take an opportunity attack as you run by. Whatever. Misses. Great. Sweet. So Wasp is gonna take an opportunity attack as you run by whatever Mrs

Great sweet. I mean you're gonna run up and you're going to attempt to climb up and get in the hot tub Yeah, okay, I'm gonna yeah attempt to get in the hot tub But mostly I want to swing at the at the bear prints. Okay, go ahead and do an athletics check 27 you run up you bound up the wall and you get up and up in the mix Can I swing my hammer at him? Oh, yeah, go ahead great You son of a bitch. No one tells my friends to take a shower 17 17 does not hit okay. I'll swing it again. Oh my god. You're the most disgusting of them all

Yeah, yeah, I dropped my pants if you- Your beard is disgusting. We practice self-care. How dare you? Hard one, Thin Skin is not built for this. It's just so like, damn. I swing my hammer out of space. Like I feel like if I touch it, just the hair will fall 22 to head.

Show him your petty. Show him your petty. You think you could pull my beard off? Yeah. Great. You saw this. Jake, you seem really shaken. I am. So that's 16 damage from the hammer?

16. OK. He's like I'm pretty messed up. Why have you brought so much violence to my hot tub? He's going to take a lesson. I asked him to action to, I don't know, why are you turning our friends into weird little men? I never said I didn't do that.

He's going to throw honey at you, hard one. Bring it on, come on. He grabs a shattered pot and scoops up some honey from the side of the hot tub that's already been shattered. It goes to like pour it on your head like a popular kid at a high school party, trying to embarrass somebody. Triss, Sup.

How's it going? Were you chillin' in the hot tub earlier? Matt 20. Oh, absolutely. Absolutely, Hetz. So you are covered in magic honey and completely restrained. You are just like, a honey golem right now, just like stuck caught in thick honey.

But he doesn't get goblinified. He does not get goblinified. Okay, that's a layer action. I like to be sure that he has like that he has like game of thrones like wine decanters full of honey. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Very cool. Wow, you gave my friend a face mask. Thanks. He's gonna look so good in playing a crash after this. Oh my god. You're right. His skin is gonna be youthful. Drinks on you, or love horny. He looks much better covered in honey

because honestly, his fucking skinny jeans were terrible. What, you think the boot cuts back in? Boot cuts not back in. Yeah, no one's back. No one's back. Tell them, though. Hard one, we are gonna have to rip off all your hair when we get that off.

Kill me. I wanna dip you in a little cup of tea right now. I'm gonna swirl you around. That is back up to the layer action. For the layer action, roll to see what the three confused bees do. Bo-flingo. Oh, oh, ho, ho! I just want again going to do absolutely nothing this turn.

Okay, they just rammed. Rammed each other with their stinger butts. I want to get them over the attack each other. Um, the other B is going to come up and swing it hard one with advantage, just like poking at his eye. It's terrifying. Just this big bee man goes spread eagle wrap, his leg around your face, and tries to sit in your eye. I'm just sort of trying to blow it since I can't move.

Boos. Slippin' you to hell. To my guardians get an attack on him since he comes into my aura. Yeah. Oh, also when he jumped up there. Yeah, go ahead and roll 3D8s. This bee is actually quite hurt.

Shouldn't the D8 also attack the bear? Okay. Nine damage. Nine damage. You completely killed this B as soon as it enters. Yeah. Yeah, you see like, spear guardians are around you as you're covered in this honey. This wasps comes up asps first, trying to just fly into your eye full speed while you can't move

And the dwarfs just go oh my god. Oh my god Just sweet swings it right out of the air. Thank you. Thank you adopted fathers That one has three daddies Wow, that's a lot I went get that. Three of them, huh? I'm going to try and respect it, because if you've got three, you don't know who your daddy is.

That's so though. In a way. And then it is the actual layer action. He is going to scream at echoes in the cave. He goes, we've got to drain the tub and you see the entire cave shakes and water starts flowing over the edge rapidly guys go ahead and give me strength saving throws but not me right didn't I run no you have not you got to run on your turn oh but do I get bebs or I know I got 20 I got a 12. Okay. Oh, 24. All right.

I think I'm just stuck in the tub by the honey. Yeah. Bev, you take nine damage and you fall prone, which is fine. He starts drowning in the hot tub, which is fine. It's whatever. That is your turn, Bev. Nice. When I'm prone, what does that mean?

That means you can just get up. You just have to use half your movement to stand up. Okay, fine. You're in a hot tub up in the mix. So the tub is draining now? Sort of. It's just overflowed a bit. Okay.

It was just like a little tidal wave, right? Yeah. Yeah. I'm just purport sporing them while we're in this battle. Does it seem like he wants the tub to drain or not? I think maybe that's all flavor. It might be flavor. Hard to tell sometimes.

I mean, you could use this turn drain in the tub if your heart really desired. Head up with your sword. I gotta be on it. Head up with your sword. I'm scared shitless, so I'm gonna be running my turn anyway. Okay, fair enough. I do wanna, one question, I am gonna hit with my sword.

I promise. Ha ha ha ha. You might not have to listen to hard stuff. Ha ha ha. Mojave is just scared. This is a terrible representation of masculinity and it terrifies me to my core. How many honey barrels are left?

Does he have like a lot? Yeah, there's honey everywhere. What I want to do is I'm going to attack him. Okay. I'm just going to do a normal attack. Okay. I'll do that and then I'll explain what comes next. Okay. If you're using an action, you're not really going to be able to do much. I was going to say. Okay. So that's going to be 21. That hits. Great. So Beverly is crawling into his ear. Beverly is putting honey in his mouth to literally become honey tongue so that he gets advantage on deception tricks. I will reveal the master plan.

I'm going to become a honey goblin on purpose. Go with me on this. I'm just going to hit my head against his teeth. I'm a honey goblin. 14 on my first attack. Okay. He's looking pretty hurt. Yeah, and then does some-

Dude, stop. Does 17 hit? Stop. 17 hit answer. No. Okay. Okay, with my bonus action, I use my Mage Hand to grab a thing of a honey and I toss it at the Grizzly Bruts.

You can't do that with Mage Hand. I can't. I mean, he, it is one of his attacks is to throw honey. You can't do an extra range to attack with. Can I use my magende just like push it off the ledge to make him mad? Is it even a bonus action? Magende is an action.

Yeah, it's an action. Oh, you still cast can trips as actions. OK, bonus action. I must say, save bonus action. It is an action though. Chalely is a bonus action, but it'll it'll say on it Cool All right fine, then I'll just define smite him as well

I try I try to have fun, but I'll just kill him instead. Okay, six more damage. He is looking quite hurt He's taking a legendary action and he's gonna swing it you hard one while your Restraint oh big guy, big man. Swing with the guy that's frozen and honey. You don't hit people who are hurt? Mm-hmm. Yeah, you just attack people. None of your cast or friends ever. Jesus, this is a moose.

You were in there by the sound. Fighting. Wops. You fought bee men for like three rounds. Oh no honey. Oh no honey. Oh no honey. Let's go toe to toe.

Uh, he had to eat for nine damage. Oh very nice. Um, then that is uh, the dry adds turn and on the dry adds turn. Um, she looks over at hard one and goes just so you know, I could tell that you wanted to make out before. I want not your truss or anyone of you know what your truss and I just pretended like I didn't notice because I was embarrassed for you. I couldn't make a list of you to answer us. I'm gonna use a luck point. Where do we can't take this to?

You covered in honey getting owned by Jared Leto. It's everyone's real nightmare. And I used it with a luck point and I got the same exact thing. That's 12. Okay, you failed. Dude, the bear. No, I thought you did.

I thought you did pass. Oh no, 13. No, you take one damage and you have disadvantage on your next attack role. Dude, the bear Joker just own you. And then he's gonna take another legendary action and Klaacia again. And he hits with his Klaac tech.

For another 15 damage. You should've stayed in the woods, dude. Rose, Taurus didn't moon it. Ha ha ha ha. Your voted on those Taurus. Moonshan, that is your turn. You're trying to run away. I'm just like, oh my god, the fact that he exists unchecked is too terrifying. I've got to beat Pete and I make a run for it. Let's jump off the balcony and start running off into the woods.

Do I get to like rolls? Yeah, go ahead and roll up. One of the others. Oh, what do I add to it? Because I'm starting off with an 18? Oh, yeah, you're good Okay, you in that case I fucking misty step It's at the end of your turn so you've lost your to you like you book it like 80 feet away Then just hit the brakes and turn around and start running back. Okay, then

and start running back. Okay. Then he- Y'all I'm sorry I abandoned you, I came to my senses. That is back to the Bear Princess turn. His HP goes back up a little bit, but he is gonna make a save, or else he's going to take a hit from our boy Hard One here.

He's P passes, but Hard One do your 3D8s because he's gonna take some of this. 11. He is quite hurt. Boring throats. Hey, yeah, this is really embarrassing. We're just, you know, we're not gonna tell anybody about this fight.

Yep, just talk about the dragon. We killed the dragon. You remember the dragon? One for two, I remember. More dragon's lawyer. That's right, that's my boy. That's my boy. Then the bear prince is going to, let me see.

There's a lot of needy men in this room. No. Hard one. So it's told to us. This dude is about the dragon. This dude is gonna run away from you because you are restrained. So go ahead and make an opportunity to attack

with disadvantage as he leaves. Oh, the Bear Prince is running away? Yeah, because he's going to go after Bev, because you're restrained, so he's hoping that strategically have you find your own or not. Oh, honey. 12. 12.

OK, you are so slowed by the honey that you go to swing your hammer. Yes, swing the son of the woods. What are you doing, go faster. Hammer goes too slowly. He moves out of the way. Strings of honey just like that to in your arm. Son of the wolves, what are you doing, go faster. I can't remember who's too slow, he moves out of the way. I have to get my strings of honey,

just like, can't have to in your arm. It's fully slow motion. It's so tasty. And then he launches forward at you, Bev, and he goes, you could have been one of my friends. Bring it on, come on. You could have gotten me honey all the time. I got plenty of friends, and even more friends,

you did bad things too. What friends? Me! I'm not friend anymore! I pointed them. That honey guy right there. So, oh honey guy. I hate honey guy.

Stinky girl, honey guy. Old dad. That's right, I'm here. Seven damage on the first attack back. Um, fucking crits. Fine. 16 damage. Fine. 16 damage. Fuck.

On the second claw attack and he's gonna take a bite. Any hits. What if salsa is the opposite of honey? Oh, I figured out what the opposite of honey is, by the way. I'll do it on my turn. Okay. 13, 13 damage on the bite. Okay.

And then go ahead and make a constitution saving throw. Oh, right, right. He rips at your elastic skin. You guys need to change your diets. I don't know what kind of skin this is. I've rolled three ones this episode. It's crazy. That is good.

Thank goodness for being a half length. Okay, constitution. That's 14. Does not do it. Nice. Rips a big chunk out of your skin and you begin bleeding. Oh, not nice, not nice. That'll be on your turn.

I start bleeding at the start of your turn. Woo. That is Balnor's turn. Balnor goes, oh no, we're gonna have to put some south on that, but I can't do that. I'm not equipped. I'm just gonna kill this guy for you, but. All right, stay calm.

Don't look at it, okay? He puts like a warm compress on it. It's really big. It's so big. Don't look at it. We're just gonna keep fighting here, how about? Put some like a cloth on it. Well, it's a hydrogen peroxide.

Yeah, it burns. It's gonna burn a little bit, but he misses distracted by trying to put a band-aid on Beverly's bite wounds. Bound or misses twice. Just furiously trying to put tiny bandages on Bound or at two small. On Beverly's giant bear bite. I need God's bandages, we'll do it.

At the end of Bound or his turn, he's gonna take a legendary action, take a claw attack against Ubev. And he hits with a 20 to hits. He's got a plus and 9 to hit so he just hits a lot. It happens. 10 damage. Okay. That is.

Ooh, I want to get back in there. Yeah, hard one's turned. Honey boy. Honey boy. Hard one, honey beard. You can either throw a javelin with disadvantage or use your action to try to bust out of the honey. I'm going to use my action to try to bust out of the honey. I'm gonna use my action to try to bust out of the honey.

Okay. This strength save. You're gonna use an entire action to try to get out of honey. Yes. Oh my god. You are so susceptible to fear of fresh right now. There's like 10 dryettes looking at you.

Are you flexing right now? Did I feel Lizim's a little bit there because I'm scared again I'm gonna use a luck point here to try to get out of the honey All the trishes are looking at you. Are you flexing? You're goddamn right? Mark when you're making it real obvious 22 and more if I get that so you burst out of the honey Rate do I can I do a bonus action? No, you can do a bonus action. Yeah, you can second-win if you'd like or the family lit

Yeah, I guess Fuck sure. I'll second-win the might as well do something with my turn I Let's just say I suck the honey from my beard to get some of my We know that's gonna goplify you to get some of my, uh, a brilliant idea. Ooh! Wait, no, that's gonna goploneify you at the end of your turn. He takes a legendary action, he throws a pot of honey at you.

Oh! Oh! Sorry, dude, you just wouldn't be Honey Boy without the honey, and you see all the dryets are like, oh, Honey Boy! Oh! Don't let him make that a thing! It's my choice being this Caddy. Yes, she's awful. I wrote this, I to hit you are covered in honey as soon as you

Cool, that is back up to the layer action The bees are still confused Moonshan go ahead and roll for the bees roll for big Roll for Bazinga Once again, they do nothing this turn. They sit on their backs each other, but I keep getting one of that, nothing happened. Their conversations are getting more complicated. I like it when they all have girlfriends in the later seasons.

Moooozinga. One of the bees is Will Wheaton. Will Beaton. What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? and commit, go ahead and make a constitution saving through a hard one. Who? 15. That's just enough to not turn into a honey goblin.

Oh! I wink at Triss. Your face becomes, you get like a goblin face for a second. Fuck these Trisses. Bev, that is your turn. On your turn, you bleed. At the start of it for 3 D-secs of damage. Wow.

I'm gonna roll that. You know, I take it back. I said fuck these trusses, but they're like prisoners. You take nine damage. They could just be petty. They're very watched. They're brain-watched. Okay.

I'm sure they could be petty. Are they petty or are they brain-watched? We'll find out. It's my turn, right? Yes. Okay, I'm just trying to figure out what level of divine smite I wanted to. It's my turn, right? Yes. Okay, I'm just trying to figure out what level of divine smite I wanted to.

But I'll just do a second level. Okay. And I figured out what the opposite of honey is. So as I approach him, I say, you can't have honey without milk. And just a sheening layer of goopy white milk just flows all over me from my protection from good and evil It's just a little weird milk kit. I'm sorry calling you milk kit. Yeah, I'll own it

Oh, go online and I'll own it. I'll change my handle to that Are you cool with this you look start? Are you cool with this honey boy? Good milk Good milk Go ahead and swing milk Milk kids, milk kids, milk kids. Go ahead and swing milk kids. Oh boy, uh, 14 does not do it. Okay, no, try milk kid.

Milk kids just warming up. I like my milk warm. Oh, yeah. Open milk in there. The 16-head, no. No, no, no. It's okay milk kid, we still believe in you milk kid. You're the man milk kid.

Jesus. Yeah. Thanks guys. I'm not a milk kid. I believe in you, milk. You're the moon, milk, good. Oh, Jesus. Yeah. Thanks, guys. I'm not a milk kid. I believe in you. I'm rethinking this brand pivot. He just goes to smack you with a cloth. Shut up, milk kid.

You're gross. I want to bonus action, look at my amulet real quick. That's a good idea, yeah. Do that. OK, go ahead and look at your amulet. He is going to. Classic milk kid. Classic milk kid. I've licked some milk off myself. Look at that. Go ahead and look at your amulets He is going to Classic milk I lick some milk off myself. Look at your weird ass little necklace take that off

Don't make fun of my necklace your necklace sucks, man God hard one is fucking fuming Is a honey boy okay back there man, dude if you're mad run over here dude Dude if you're mad run over here dude. Dude, if you're mad come over here dude. Dude wait So I fucking sir are you gonna jump dude if you get out of the honey I'm gonna be honest. I'm just gonna throw another one at you Dude You fucking love it dude. It just comes to you hard one embrace what you are You're like a reverse beat. I'm a funny man. Milkman and honey man.

Milkman and honey man. Bevy hits you with a legendary action for eight damage. And then you start bleeding more. Geez. So your next turn is going to be very bad. Can I, as an action like bandage myself or anything? You can, but it's not your turn. It sure isn't.

Balnor sure is how we'll try. And he's next turn. He should have done that. How much bleed damage do I do? Not until next turn. But sure isn't. Boundore sure is how we'll try it. He should have done that. How much bleed damage do I do? Not until next turn, but you'll take another 3D6. Can't wait. That is the Dryad's turn. On the Dryad's turn is going to look at Beverly

and just say, that was really weird and you should feel bad. Go ahead and make a wisdom saving throw. You should feel bad for being weird. Okay, that's gonna be a 19 plus 423 super super you're fine You embrace it. I'm joining the theater club. I'm quitting the football team The bear prince the bear prince turns to all the dry ads who goes, um, girls, uh, focus on Honeyman. Milk boy, uh, milk boy is mentally stronger. That's right.

I have a conviction of who I am. I win Kitt Trisk. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ew. This always tells me we're gonna be playing. This is our go on to worst fight. You see, two of the Spirit Guardians have left, and it's just called in there with you,

just like, ugh, I have to be here. This is definitely the fight that makes me commit to an afterlife with Gemma. I think that, I think that. I swear to far from home, baby. Next time we're, next time we have a downtime, we're gonna be here in a pursuit of happiness on repeat.

Yeah, yeah. You like broke up with your high school girlfriend, what's it like, Cabin? You went to college and just struck out so many times, and just begged your high school girlfriend to get back with you over Thanksgiving break. Oh, baby, I do want to go to home coming, actually. That's my chance, sir.

All right, I'm going to Misty Step Back Up. Okay. And then just attack the bear prints. Do it out. Misty Step Right Over. Okay. And then it just attacked the bear bridge. Do it out. Misty step right over his dumb fucking head. Does a 15 hit. It does it. Well, whatever it's for some for 12.

Moonshine, finish it. Oh, okay. I'm gonna go over to hard one, and I'm gonna take, I'm gonna move hard once, man. And do the final blow with hard once, slow, fast, ony hand. And my hand that's not swinging is doing a weird peace sign that trists.

But I'm gonna, I'm gonna try and make myself really small. I'm gonna try and make myself look really small so the trist's think that hard one is doing it. I definitely minor illusion to help. This stupidest, this is the stupidest fatality we've ever had. You roll to see if the bear prince thinks that I killed him. That's all I really want.

He rolled his six. I'll say he thinks he killed him. So Moonshine basically, I'm gonna say she like misty steps up, kind of like lands on his head. So steps on his head. You see, it's all in slow motion. He goes, fuck up. Why do you have to come at me like that? like lands on his head so steps on his head you see it's all in slow motion he goes fuck up! Why do you have to come at me like that? He starts to trip forward a little bit, loses his balance in the hot tub. Moonshine jumps down with the power of the Dwarven ghosts and Moonshine.

A hard one is able to get enough torque to swing his hammer down and crush the air prince's head. Wait, I know how to make this even better for Hard one's ego too. So since I killed him with my halos boars, I'm gonna resurrect him as a one hit point zombie. Yes. And then Hard one for yourself and finish him. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

27 hits. That hit?, yeah. 27. That head. So yeah, you see all of the dry heads are just like quite like looking amongst each other. They feel so weird. Yeah, that's right. I'm a Milky Gay disaster. And these are my best friends. Yeah, hard one honeybeard is freed you. Mocha, thank you so much. Yes, but it's fine. We've ever had by far. I want to flip. What do you do to finish zombie interference? I think I give a weird peace sign to Triss and I flip up the hammer, touch it, and just whip it

across the head and sweep it up. Fully decapitated with the hammer. I'm going to look at my Triss too. So as soon as you see. I want to hit the head towards the Triss.. I wanna hit the head towards the Triss. Okay, you hit the head towards the Triss. You see the Bear Prince dies. You see he's decapitated as his head is smashed

and his soft zombie body just crumbles. There's this strange arcane explosion emanating from him. Like a mastispel magic, a big sonic boom that reverberates over the landscape. You see the dry ads that are in the room and then are down in the courtyard have been transformed back into their true forms. Aladdin. Whoa.

Faye High Elves, who are innately magical and whose characteristics and personalities are supposed to change with the seasons. However, you see that these are winter alladrin, which is strange because you are in spring. They've got sharp, elven features, low flowing hair, beautiful tunics and dresses, but they are completely blue from their skin to their hair and their clothes.

They emanate frost and just this very deep, deep sadness. There's like no celebration as they return to being themselves. You see there are men and women, and you see they look up at you and one of them goes, Oh, thank you. You've saved us. Wow, you were so hot until you talked.

I know it's moonshine. Go talk to him. We can never truly be saved can we now is your chance? Yeah, I don't think I want this chance. These are I grabbed my hammer. What the hell did you do to trist? Yeah? Monster my name is Justin time to score Hi, and we just freed you? Yes, well, yeah. All right, any of us truly free. You don't want me?

We are bound by our fates. I report spores and I say, y'all, this is our ultimate challenge. We got to throw a party to get these people in good spirits. Yeah, it's a very good point. See if we can cheer up these party poopers. Yeah, okay.

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or enter promo code pop-off at checkout. That's birddogs.com slash pop-off I imagine that they're cursed because of what the king did when he left the court, right? You see, you see a few of the other ones in the back go, I don't know if I'm in the mood for a party. Get out there, it's all low cuts. What if it's like a more of like a low key fire pit hang? Oh, I suppose I could maybe have a few drinks and decide to stay home. I would be all right there. Come to your home, I got the new smash, it'll be great. What a poor game. My home is dreadful. home. I got the new smash. It'll be great.

What a board game. My home is dreadful. I'm not very competitive. I tickle him. Woohoo! Stop. I hate being tickled. You're smiling.

No, I'm not. Oh, yeah, that's true. I go around tickling him all. Stop. Oh, I would hurt us to be tickled. Jesus. It's awful. Uh, Buzinga.

He hates it. He hates it. The bees come back and they're just like, Figs are free. It does. There's still bee, man. Now we're free to heal and we let us watch the Big Bang Theory eight hours a day.

But now we can watch it eight hours a day. Bazinga. I don't know if this is gonna work out well for you. Should we kill them and put them out of their misery? I feel like everyone we just freed would maybe better off than Captain Henry. Oh, it's funny actually. Oh.

Oh, okay, we put out big big theory. I take out a projector. They don't laugh at all, they just go, no, the giant wasps, I think they're funny. Can't wait. In a way that's life is just a never ending tragedy and you can't help but laugh at the sadness of it all. Okay fair enough.

I can go with that. I like laughing and sad news at the same time. I don't laugh. I totally acknowledge if something is funny or not. Should we go find the honey god ones? Let's go find the honey God one? Where will we all live now live in this house that was once your jail considering life is your jail You'll be fucking fine. I guess after a bit After a bit you see crann

Returns with Durlin. Save us. Crann returns with Durlin in his coat. How's Durlin looking for Durlin? Durlin has had a glow up. Like Crann, he's filled out, he's a little buff halfling warrior. But whereas she's gone kind of the hardened monster hunter route, you see he's adopted a lot more of like a face style

of the summer court. You see he's got like long black hair tied in like a neat bun above his head. And he goes, scout masters, it's so good to see you again. And he does this like grand bow for you. He does it like facing where Galatoran would be where the summer court is,

as is the custom of the summer faye. You see Kran just kind of like face palms, he goes, so sorry about him guys. We saved him. We saved all of the honey goblins. Holy shit, Dirling got hot. Dirling is hot. You look good. I put my hair up into a tight top knot. My man. I do a top knot as well. Have an aged today. You're all as beautiful as you come down here.

I jumped down right into it. You guys jumped down. Dirlin gives you guys big hugs. Cran looks very happy to have him back. You can tell that they're kind of dynamic, is that he's the more kind of like ostentatious like talkative one, and she's kind of like the muscle.

But they're both, they're very much in love. They've got a cute, a cute little report. I kind of like grab his arm and kind of go, yeah, all right, I kind of like slap it a little bit. Yeah, you, my friend, you, me. You look almost exactly the same as last I saw you. It's time has passed. It's very little.

Almost a month, it's been like it's mature. You look hardened. Thank you. Yeah, I think I's been like it's a mature, you look hardened. Thank you. Yeah, I think I've got like a couple hairs coming in on my face. Yes. Cran filled me in on you and Erlin, by the way. Congratulations. Thank you so much.

So fine, young man. Hey, congratulations to you two. I did not get you a wedding gift. And I feel awful about it. That's okay. You know what? We'll celebrate some other time. I count on it.

Happy to not be a honey godly. You see, he just like hasn't taken it. He goes, oh, let's get the honey, you shall we know honey? So sorry. And maybe our new friends know where we could host a good celebration. Hey, where do y'all like to party? Oh, yes, well.

There's a good boy. Got any good boys. Yeah, by, we could say goodbye to it. Actually, I guess it's like I'm so sorry. You see, Cran looks at them. She goes, when it's natural, you see, Cran looks at them and goes, that's strange that they're still winter, a ladron. They should be taking on different features being up here in the spring. It seems the curse follows even the

Aladdin here. So this is a curse. This is the curse. They don't just have bad person now. They don't want to be known. Usually they're quite fiery and... Oh, yeah. Yeah, Dirlin goes, oh, the fake people are fantastic. Yeah, we used to have a lot of fun back in the day. Isn't that right, my friends?

And they go, what is the point of having fun? We have to save them. We will all die, so. Are you all just like cursed with like, I just graduated from college, boredom, or what is going on? I just wake up and I think. Like, quarter life crisis.

Yeah, y'all have quarter life crisis. I'm getting like a strong on-wee sense from them. Yeah. It's like food can just run out, and then we'll just feel pain until we die. Isn't it crazy? Hey, look at me, look at me. I do a little dance. Okay, you know what? Let's go and break the curse. just run out and then we'll just feel pain until we die. Isn't crazy? Hey, look at me, look at me, I do a little dance.

Okay, you know what, let's go and break the curse, not because I want to help them, but because I want to get the fuck away from it. And you see, Kran goes, Kran goes, you've saved so many more people than just these alladren and Durlin, only the alladren turned into dryads. You've saved so many gnomes who had been honey gobbins, and you see a bunch of gnomes run out of the forest,

and they go, tuhuh, no! You're so fast! I take a white stance and put my hammer behind my shoulder. I think I prepare myself to fight. Yeah, I prepare a reaction. You see, you guys were prepared to fight. You see a bunch of gnomes emerged from the forest.

Many of them have little white beards and bald heads covered with cone shaped hats. Circle up, circle up, everyone tight circles. We do a circle where we're all facing out. Who hurt you? What is going on here? You see the gnomes run forward and start jumping up and hugging you guys.

Slive yourself the gnomes. Elbows, I'm throwing elbows. Ow, I'm going for some spots too. Their names, yeah you see Dirlen introduced you. This is hard one, Shorefoot, moonshine, Sibon, Beverly, Toe Gold. I'm trying not to win that. I'm trying not to win that.

Henceforth they shall be known as the heroes of the gnomes. Bound or check the bags. Bound or check the gnomes. Bound or check the bags. I'm like, Bound or cover in the bags. I'm elbowing the gnomes. You stay away from the bags, you little guys. So wait, the gnomes here, gosh, it's really hard

to get a foothold on this place. Who saved us? Thank you. We had to run around and grab honey all the time. Where you like honey, but we don't love it. Okay. What are you gonna do with your life now? What are you planning on doing with your life now?

I need a bit of a five year plan if I'm gonna let you out my sight. Keep your hands where I can see them. You put this. No one bought anything from these hugsters. You see, Cran and Dirlin are super confused, and they go, the gnomes here, certainly there are certain ones that are a bit chaotic in pranksters,

but they're, they, a lot of them serve on the Celi Court and where we come from gnomes are the Scorch of Bohum. Yeah, you've been going a long time. Nomes. Yeah, the Ola is the Ola is not the fret, Durland. Yeah, it's the true. That is crazy. If you knew what we knew, they say, Nomes are the Nomes are the hands of the devil. And we've met the devil. So we know, yeah, well, we're just little Nomes. Um, allomes are the hands of the devil. And we met the devil, so we know, yeah. Well, we're just little gnomes. All right, I'm gonna try a little trust exercise. Okay.

I'm gonna go over to one and say, Hey, hello, buddy. How? Do you wanna play game? I love gnomes. Yeah, how about you, about, you'd be doing a little game for me. I know a game, it's called Don't stab me

and I give the Noma knife. Oh. He takes the knife and he magically produces a piece of bread, put some butter on it and does a produce flame and makes toast and goes, look, magic taros. I light it on fire, no one touched that, no one touched that. Why would you not eat the toast? You burnt perfectly good toast.

Dirlin, different. I ate some honey, it turned into a goblin, you were a goblin too. Yes, that was from the bare princesses of gnomes. All right, trust fall. Hard one turns around and falls backwards. It's like ten gnomes have to jump and try to save you. Wow, we're almost done. I'd like some gnomes. All right. For the time being, you're almost done. I'd like some tips.

For the time being, you have my hammer. All right, yeah. I, if, you know, you all are putting your best foot forward and I got to acknowledge that when that happens. I'd pick the toast off the ground and eat it. It just tastes like burnt toast now. It tastes like it would have been good if it wasn't so horribly burned by Moonshire.

It tastes kind of like dirt now. Moonshire and fix this. That is like Christmas. You say, actually Moonshire, taste some of this. That's good. I love it when the ratio of black and char to actual bread is heavily in the favor of a lot. You see, Daryl looks at what you guys think goes, you're still eating food off the ground.

I see. Yeah, where are you eat off of? Plates, food off the ground. I see. Yeah, where you eat off of plates generally. I told you about the plates thing, right? I told you about that. The people do that in the world. Like the circus performers use them? No, like yes true. Decorative plates like when a president yet presidential decorative plate. Which presidents do you know? Harry S. Herman. Oh yeah, that bully. Look president.

Right. I'm also just realizing that Dirlin is essentially nice Jensland Dale. That's a nice fancy boy. You see Cran speaks up. Cran looks over and starts poking her head in the bear prince's laryn. She goes, you know, this is a pretty nice setup.

We've been kind of looking for a spot. I don't know if any of you guys are planning on squatting here, but. Oh, honey, please don't call it squatting. What, it's squatting. We're living, we sleep on that. No, we'll build the bed. It'll be our home.

Hey, Durlin, don't you want a hot tub? I'm more than anything. Yeah, this't you want a hot tub? And more than anything? Yeah, this place is like multiple hot dubs. You see, Dirlin looks very excited, begins running through and kind of scoping it out. And you're just here and be like, oh, babe, babe, check this out, check this out. Cran, rock, got it.

I'm excited, excitedly looks in. Two couples, one couple and 400 nomes. Everyone's in a while, you'll just hear in a lager and go like, I was in here sitting by myself, but do whatever you want. And Dirlen goes, okay, thanks bud. So after a little bit, you see this little gnome in overalls with like a handle bar mustache. He's got like a little man bun

He's almost like a little hipster gnome. He walks up to you guys and he goes I'm actually a little bartender So if you're really on a tavern if you guys want to come by have some free drinks on us Get you some potions. I think Can I do a perception check on this? Sure. Inside check on this guy It's gonna be a 20 a 20. He's telling the truth Can I do a perception check on this? Sure. Inside check on this guy. Yeah. That's gonna be a 20. A 20. He's telling the truth. What's the name of your bottle?

I don't trust him. It's called the night cap. That's cute. Yeah. That's kind of fun. It's guys like red caps. There's some knowns that are red caps. But there's a night cap.

I shouted a bird to get a yelp review. Easy, the bird just goes, it's a good place. Which one I ordered, what's this special? Oh well, we specialize in alcoholic potions. He was talking to the bird. What's this special? What do people order usually? You get like an alcoholic potion?

Oh cool. I'm just repeating what I heard of a bird. I hear Dirlin from inside goes, if you want recommendations, you can just talk to me, you maniacs. Oh yeah. Okay, yeah, Dirlin. You ever had a drink here before?

Oh, the night cap. One of the best night clubs in free spire. It's a night club? Quite literally. Yes, you have to see it. I'm not even gonna describe it for you. Yeah, you see, Kran just being like, you're overselling it, babe. You're overselling it. I'm not even gonna describe it for you. Yeah, you see, you see, Kran just being like, you're overselling it, babe, you're overselling it.

I'm not overselling it, I can't even tell you how good it is. Or else it would, I can definitely use a party. Yeah, me too. You know what, I'm going out on a limb and believe you. Okay. I feel a flask with Crickwater, just in case I don't question any of the alcohol. little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a until we pregame. Yeah, we got a pregame first. You want it? The dirt of the dirt and then Craig go

Everybody in the I plug my speaking stone into the bear prince's sound system Can I just go around flicking flicking switches and just seeing like what cool shitty had yeah Yeah, you go in moonshine his entire Lair was lit up by illuminescent fungi So it's all I gotta take some red and green and purple and stuff. Yeah, you can use them as like light sources Wait, they're essentially they're essentially Mushrooms that work as torches.

Can I speak to them? If you want. Hey friends, mushrooms. Bungle queen. Bungle queen is here. Oh, bow down to the fungal queen. How you feeling? Did he treat you right?

Were you just along for the ride? You wanted mushrooms? But I live in a rock. All right, you know, a lot of mushrooms are one of the most intelligent organisms on the planet, but maybe not the one. A lot of speech. Yeah, no, I get it. I get it.

Here, hop in my pocket, I'm taking you with me. Okay. And I can't move. I'm gonna scoop a bunch of biolumines. Cool, you take a bunch of bioluminescent mushrooms. I'm not going to apply. Are you gonna plant some of your own mushrooms here? Yeah.

Ooh. Yeah, I'm gonna say, well, I kind of filled the hot tub up there with my mushrooms. Oh, so yeah. You see, Dirlin looks around. We might have to drain the tub actually. You're not touching the tub. No, no, it's kind of like the decapitated

zombie fight corpse of the, you see like, Cran is kind of like the Depapitated some of high course You see like crayon is kind of like posing with it Wait, I'm taking a picture of my speech. Does it flow picture take a picture yet float? It's like all bloated you see it as a pool toilet the bear prince Shag himself in his last moments you know there's social media in the face We need the blast pictures of this. Yeah. So that everyone knows. Get the fake. Turn the fake against them. You humiliated.

Are the toilets, and do they have the one flush, two flush thing, depending on the load? Oh, yes, absolutely. There's a bidet. Whoa. I drink from it like a water problem. For how hard it washes your ass. I totally pummel my tiny butt. I have a spanned a little too long.

I wanna talk to Dirland and Crown real quick. Yeah. Have y'all, have you been able to get a connection to pull or out here or Crown kind of size, and she goes, we haven't been as good of paladins lately as we have been. We don't have as much of a connection to pull or out here as we would normally

and Dirlen goes yes, I've kind of quite taken to the Feyway of life as it were defending the Queen Cyrilla which and You see Dirlen gestures to the winter Aladdin as well, which apparently she's still not doing well Obviously, we have our our children who are still frozen. Let's get them out of the bag, by the way. Oh, yeah. They say they run over, they take their children out of the bag of holding,

throwing them out of the bathtub. Yeah, found them or ever so gingerly takes them out. You guys try to throw them out in the hot tub. It doesn't work. They take them out, kind of bring them to like a nice little room, probably the bear princess Princess Master bedroom. It's this big warm cave. It almost looks like the inside of a log cabin

or something that's big. Or something that's big. There's this big California king-sized bed. How many succulents are there? So many succulents. He's got the Christmas lights hanging in a canopy over the bed. Oh.

Just a sign that says, live. That's a, hard one is actually thinking this is really chill. Yeah, I like that. It's just like, it's just, yeah, Dirlin's just like, it just tells you to live. And you're just supposed to know that. I love that.

Oh man, there's a fiddly fig tree here. Those are really in now. But they kind of, they prop up their kids. And Dirlin goes, now our kids are regular mortals, they're humanoid. So I understand why the curse would continue to affect them here. But the fact that the alladgenre still showing signs

of the curse this far from summer is quite alarming. So you're saying that Queen Cyrilla's heart has been broken by the King leaving, that is correct. So you're saying we need to take the queen and get her back out there on the dating scene. Yeah, I'm saying is there an option where instead of like going to try and fuck with the king, we just really build up the self esteem. Like maybe a nice hand can call for a couple of more. Oh, believe me, I, we were so complimentary.

And Kran was like, I know his briefing is beautiful. Yeah. Kran and Durlin go, no, no, we gave her so many compliments, we tried our best to, but did you try to help her get her groove back? I tried so hard to help her get a bit back. But it tall-dork just like going to town on you without asking for anything in return.

We think there's something, I'm a very generous lover. Yes, we think there's something more. We don't think the king would leave by his own accord. We think that the unceilig had something to do with this. See, we are a bit powerless to do anything about the unceilig because we have to protect our children here. And that's why Beverly the fourth

kind of went off on his own. Okay. So we're on Seely bound. That's where the secret to unfreeze in your tots is, right? I think either you go to the Seely court and sniff around and try to find out what's going on or you go to the Unseely Court and you try to infiltrate. Or you can also, you can go, you can go with the gnomes to free spire and see if you can find out anything there. You know a bar might

be a good place to sniff around. It'll probably be a good place to find a boat too. I mean, couldn't we just blow off steam and free spire and then head to the Unseely Court? Yeah, because everyone in the Seely Court is gonna be a big-time bummer right now And I think we don't need that energy before we go on a mission. Yeah, we need that free-spire Yeah, I'm gonna be a suit to happen. Yeah All right, yeah, I'm a clubbing. It's hobbing and clubbing. Yeah, let's go clubbing. We tubbed it's time to club Let's go clubbing. It's hobbit and clubbing. Yeah, let's go clubbing. We tubbed and stabbed the club Amen, so we've been drinking during this whole conversation. Yeah, yeah, we're feeling like pretty

Routy. Um, so I'm making like a hot tub water martini I'm trying to call the uber on my speaking stuff Uh, so you guys uh says this outside Going back and forth between lifting uber You guys have your little mini pre-game party inside the bear piece. Bear Princess Bad. You're doing, you have it out and you're like, are we calling them Lyft? We call it an Uber.

Just hoping someone else will call it. The winter, the winter laudgerner like. How many are we? I could probably just stay here. Okay, so I don't need a plus. I don't need the XL. No, I think we should all just stay here and kind of just hang out. Oh, God. See, he's just playing with it, only playing with a dog.

Oh. I just found the animal here and I found it. Why does it feel like an orphanage with a doll? I'm taking the dog to the club. The dog is actually my summon steed. Big master. Your summon steed isn't the lift. Everyone, hop on lift, the giant dog.

Let's get going, y'all. Sweet. Cool, so you guys exit the keep. All of the nomes are there, ready to take you guys to free-spire with them. You see, Cran and Dirlin follow you guys out. We don't think it's safe to keep putting our frozen children into bags and getting into fights. So we think we might pull up here for a while.

Stay here, I would prefer that you do. It's easily defensible. She starts like going through like all the way she can like set up traps. Oh yeah, everything. I definitely just like that. I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like,

I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just on Daryl and goes, all right, hun, haha, where we could just sit in the hot tub and chill, that would be fine too. Yeah, yeah, we could do that.

That would be cool. There's a lot of blind spots. A lot of blind spots, thank you. Thank you, Beverly. You're looking up for the blind spots. I hug them both and I say, you know, even if you're not followers of plorr, you still keep the light inside of you and you're good eggs.

I don't have to worry about y'all. Oh, you're a good egg, he tussles your hair. Ah, haha. They give you guys hugs, they go., obviously there's a ton of animals around. Send an animal messenger to here. Once you find out what's going on or what your next move is. Well, hopefully the messenger will come across because your kids will just unfrost.

That would be wonderful, but let me know where you are so that we can meet up with you guys. I shout at that bird again. Hey, you want to be a messenger? Yeah. All right. I can see it. I can see it. I shout at that bird again. Hey, you want to be a messenger? Yeah! All right. What a call you in soft fog. He shits on your head. Sorry!

It's okay. I'm a bird and you shit everywhere. Which one you want this? The shit. Okay, I need to throw it in my hot tub. Shit around. Boop soup. I'm gonna drain the tub.

That would be time. My dear, I'm gonna give these guys all hugs. Thank you again. It's good to see you again, Scout Masters. Yeah. I'm honestly tickled to see my young cubs looking so good. Yeah, you see a crayon and dear Lynn both blush and dear Lynn kind of nudges crayon

and they both do their summer court bow in the direction of the summer court. All right, let's leave. Y'all too haven't seen each other in a while, so we're gonna let you have a little free time. And you know, the kids are in disposed, so... Okay, let's not break Jesus Christ. We were gonna... I was down for kind of a spicy joke there, but let's stop. The kids are disposed to use this. Not because they went bowling with

Gonna fucking hot tub cool, okay just watch out for nobs Yes, and don't forget about the bedroom. There's a mirror Kids are in there right now. You can look at the sun that says live while here. That would be wonderful actually, yeah? So it is Canon, Dirlin and Cran, fuck, great. Good. You guys, I love it when my friends fuck. And you guys head off from the Bear Princess

Keep with all of the nooms Towards free-spire. They're all chanting your names and singing a little song. Okay, Murn shine Beverly and hard one Heroes of the nose This is keeping up a man keeping open man. This is our end We're going to our death. I'm just gonna try my mind to picture them to be a bunch of little possums and set a gnomes. Faster, lift. Okay, I can do this.

Lift go faster. Yeah. The mast stiff. Is it mast stiff or mast stiff? Yeah, it's mast lift. And the mast lift begins traveling to the gnomes section of free spire. And that's where we'll end our session.

Oh boy, I know. No, sweet gnome. No, sweet gnome. Let's talk about all the different ways this could go wrong. On the short rest, baby. Yeah. Does it help at Durlin and Cran

are not concerned about the gnome? Yeah, it's a photo of confidence for sure. Yeah, it is, yeah. Beverly is like warming to the gnomes. Yeah. For some reason, they make the most sense in this world. Moonshine is warming to them. She's like jilted, but she's aware

that she's bringing previous experiences in, so she's just trying to wipe the slate clean. Yeah, let's talk about our gnomagressions and just all of our opinions and thoughts on the short rest. Yeah, it's problematic roleplay for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Guys, go on over to patreon.com slash nadpod.

That's n-a-d-d-p-o-d. Don't sing yet. To hear our no-m theories going forward, talk about- Listen to our other podcast. Daryl and Cran be fucking as our, as our other podcast, um, discuss positions. And we've got some things to plug. Guys, uh, check out hot date on Netflix, me and Emily's sketch show, uh, it's available

now. You can also check out, hey, you up, had to turn your booty call and turn emergency contacts, a theoretical relationship advice book written by me and Emily, get it on Amazon or on Audible. Uh, you can watch us on, it's all wrapped up now, but you can watch the old episodes, dimension 20 on Dropout, dropout, College Tumor Streaming Service,

check that out to D&D Play Show, call the Wodea to plug. Ooh, speaking of Dropout, I got a show on there with my buddy Nathan, aka Toneth and Tinkle, it's called Cartoon Hell, and it's us coming up with dumb ideas for cartoons every week, and at the end, you get to see a little snippet of the cartoon. It's really fun.

Go check it out. If you get that, you can also see Dimension 20. They're all there. It's a big bundle. It's a big fun package. Oh yeah. Just get in there. It's a big hot tub of content.

Hmm. And I have a new podcast about the English Premier League football clubs with the Miran are patreon patreon.com slash J.A. And then, as always, I'm hawk and beard oil. Hey, wait, do you like football yet? Food ball? I do like football.

I watched my first EPL game today. Ooh. Chelsea versus Jesus Christ, I should remember, but they were so bad, so it was kind of fine. Okay, so you ain't in firmly Chelsea of the two. Yeah, because I guess I'm so far, I'm, I like Chelsea, but then there's another team called Born Myth that seems kind of cool.

I also think I like Arsenal. Wow, these are good names. So cars like Tate. Arsenal is like based on name alone. Yeah. If you're not a West Ham fan, I'm gonna kick your fucking ass. That's all I have to say. Amir is actually turning into a West Ham fan.

That's the only team I know. Is that because Tom Phillips? Yeah, I'm talking about Phillips. Oh, great. Yeah, so football and beard oil, that's who I am. Oh yeah. Wow, you're such a man. I also play B&D.

Call the law, how can people send us stuff? Oh, you can send it to 1920, Hillhurst Avenue, number 222, Los Phillies, California 90027 I've got there some stuff in the box. I need to pick up so if I haven't talked about your product yet It's in there. I'm gonna get it. Thank you so much for sending sweet and guys Follow us on Twitter at sage merifismi at call these callable adiacs for disemily at chiker Which is Jake and tweet about the show using hashtag nADBOD that's NADDPOD.

We are we are youth of a nation, we are we are youth of a nation. And heroes of the know homes. It's the end of the show everybody and that means we need to shout out our benevolent council of elders. Oh thank you all so much. Starting with Brad D, the only pebble pot that isn't Craven. The one thing he fears is having a son or daughter with the cowards blood and that is the biggest pebble pot fear of all.

J-L-O-M-S-E-T-E-K-S steel breaker, hard ones gym inspiration. Bruce Hardwan's favorite protein shake and always makes sure to whip up too, so Hardwan can double-fiss. Dylan B, a sword-wielding wizard who uses a bastard sword instead of a wand, but guess what? The hilt of the bastard sword is a fucking wand, bro. I like it, Danny P, Bohumia's resident artist painted Hardwan's senior portrait at the Dwarf in Edge. Hardwan has been trying to get in touch with him to ask if the portrait could be altered to show Hard one's larger triceps, but Danny isn't picking up the steep speaking stone. Tom P, father of the realm, and serenader of sleeping babies, and no, his babies are not

frozen. Tom is just that awesome at putting them to sleep. Spencer, cask brew patron elder of libations, ale maker to gods and heroes of Bohemia like, invented Bohumia's version of smear-noth ice called Venerable spiked snow cola, and subsequently invented Bohumia's equivalent of icing, called snowing. Griffin SD, aka the stranger, the silver dragonborn Eldritch Knight, ex-owner of the batter's pint in Tavern, and ex-owner of a 2008 Toyota Corolla, but now the proud owner of a cool Fixie bike plus 4,000 gold because they sold that whip for way over Kelly Blue Book.

Scott D, this sarcastic sorcerer, Scott casts a lot of spells as jokes that some people are too stupid to understand. You know, you gotta get hip to it. Aaron C, the homeless man that was used by the band of boobs to distract the chosen back and go later on, still convinced that he's helping the boobs. Aaron C is still running and screaming the go later on residents dislike this.

Hermes W, the Bat King. Hermes can't fly, but has been commanding his loyal horde of bats to carry him from place to place and it's close enough. RJW does not wield a weapon, but does carry a possum familiar who is quite deft with a dagger. If RJW gets into trouble, he will swing around his dagger, holding the possum to fend off any ill-duers. Spartus does this super funny thing where he goes around saying, this is Spartus, and then kicking people down a well, it might sound violent, but it's honestly hilarious when Spartus does it. FCNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN and takes all of their victims by surprise, ensuring they whisper, oh fuck, just before

they're done. Cassandra MHP, aka Cassandra Max HP has more HP than Yanoba, but is way way more attractive. Cassandra does also love eating noles though. You can have a look past it. Danielle the dastardly damed Danielle is so dastardly that they upper decked the Alice toilet in the top of her castle angle later on. QC-AK, Haldor Frostback, MVP of the Giant Wars, Crude in the SS Stormborn, and Fodelong

Side, Elias and Red. He was actually the one who carved out the secret compartment in the captain's quarters where hard one hides his porn. Many the Monday in accidental deity who got in the way of a lichest belt to reach divinity, when you go to a Starbucks and no one is claiming their Frappuccino and the barista asks if you want it, that's Manny, baby. Daniel, you, aka multiple are the many-faced magician. One of the faces is wearing a mask that looks like one of the other faces, so you might think that Daniel has two of the same faces, but that's just Danny fucking witchy dumb ass. Clevver, Jordan DJ, legendary DJ of the realm, the pair Prince wrote to Jordan for DJ lessons, but Jordan could tell he was a douche and said no.

Jeffrey S, Lord of the Fjord, born of the sword and lover of Lord, will never be royals. Jeffrey loves that jam. Cutter W, a high-ealth, dandy-turned-crick-barcatect. Cutter was just commissioned to build Frostwin's first ever non-concrete Cold War-type building. It's gonna be so cute. Let's sketch the escape artist. Ghosts, every single significant other they've ever had, even ones they lived with. Wow. It's rude, but Lex does it with so much stealth, you almost have to respect it. John S.A.K.

Shubbert, the mushroom, Shubbert, recently sprouted a tiny little bit of fungus on his head and it looks like he's growing an even tinier Shubbert. It's adorable. Ryan M. Hardwan's Ram, who survived the cold wilderness of Frostwind and trekked South to meet up with Kakao. Hardwan's beloved animals are now best friends and they're looking forward to being reunited with their caring master. Yeah, right. Elena C rides around the realm on a hell dolphin.

It's not effective on most terrain, but it's always terrifying. Andrew M. Beverly's personal toe painter recently painted gold porches of moonshine and pop on and Bev's soft, soft feet. Oh, I follow their Instagram very, very skillful. Michael McD, head mixologist at the Blue Man in, inspired by Savannah's beloved jalapenos. Michael recently invented a beer margarita. It's basically a margarita, but with beer in it.

Victor T, Boundorse Boy, whose loving dad was ripped from his family and transported to another world. Every night, Victor cries into his weener work staunch shape jamas. I feel like you read that one every week and it's always a lot of us reading it. Yeah. I'm Ken Zierkannon. Henry A invented the Bohumian drill car but more importantly invented the assembly line that they are all constructed on.

Henry A is not anti-Semitic, though, which is very cool. Justin I, the Warrior Jimnist, just and kills all of their opponents while doing a round-off, backhand spring off a 4-inch beam. It's not convenient lugging the beam everywhere, but each epic death makes it worthwhile. Clayton, Emma, claim Macynton, Macynton, who just got a job working at the fire station. Now that is so fitting. We're straight up surprised it took so damn long. The professional, the only lawyer to successfully beat Papa in litigation. Since then, they have lost every single case and they believe it may be Papa bribing judges because the young scramble man holds a grudge.

Papa would. Jacob C, the owner of a Feywild candy shop selling free, ferried, chocolate-covered lollipops. Not a lot of product coming in lately though. Kind of weird. owner of a Feywild candy shop selling free-fairy chocolate covered lollipops. Not a lot of product coming in lately though. Kinda weird. Jacob C. hopes nothing bad happens to the free fairies. Elena M. A Triss who remained a Triss even after all the Triss' were turned back. In Oalachran, turns out Elena was always just a chill Triss.

Wow, the one true Triss. Maybe that's Moody Jets Triss. Gone Off has Gone. Cough! Oh crap! Gone off has gone. Cough! Oh crap! Gone off has the sniffles, but Gone off has cough drops and is already starting to feel better. Mick Pox, the amazing codemaster who programmed our website, is developing Tinder for the Feywild, where things are sure to get freaky.

Earl and Kathleen L. Asiamese Centaur, that's one horse, two Torsos. Earl holds a shield. Kathleen holds two swords, but they've never had to fight, because every enemy they have just runs away. Dillon M, a talented executioner, kills people with a broad sword, clenched firmly between their butt cheeks, once accidentally killed a man,

and then casted, revivify with their ass to bring them back to life. Chive G, Adorven made and so beautiful, they are touring Bohumia portraying Gemma in the realm's most popular new show, The Death of a Princess. Hard one is not interested in singing. Corbin A, a bardic rogue who steals people's hearts with song. Every little thing they do is magic.

Everything they do just turns me on, even though my life before was tragic. Now I know my love for them goes on. Atlas Stormry, the only human alive who can out drink a chord. Hard one is thinking about pledging himself to Atlas because they're just a bit more epic. Jostret to juggling ostrich. It's incredibly impressive because Jostret has no hands. How does Jostret do it? ELDREG-AK-A, the DREGER-NOT, a retired hero who hosts a trivia night where all of the questions are about themselves.

The DREGERNOT gets very ornery when people get questions wrong. Was I not memorable enough? The DREGERNOT is known to shout. Cameron C. Bals to no man but Bals to many women, a true feminist ally. Wow, thank you for your work. PJW-AKA, Charo Arcadeus, a tiefling warlock whose tail has a mind of its own. Charo's tail even has its own cell phone as racking up minutes as we speak. Damn you r. Ram Daniel's evil twin.

It's rumored that Ram Daniel's scouted ahead and actually dug the hole that almost took the life of their ram brother. Wow. Nicholas r. aka St. Cricklesles who travels around every crickmus, shitting in your stockings and stealing presents from underneath your crickmus book. A horrible person. Jennifer V. A martial arts expert who trained scullis, which is ironic because Jennifer is a drunken master.

Wow. Opposites attract. Destin C. has curated a library of evil books and it's just dying to get their hands on the band of boobs copy of Ilsaid's tome. Devin B cannot be charmed by Spell or Anikdoat is tough in battle and even tougher at parties. Michael L and Esri Partyboy whose blood is mostly arcane at this point. Sam H. Apple scrumper's main rival at the field is planning to attempt the first ever mudboarding 1080 spin in the mud pipe at the next Melora pageant that's the thing right you gotta you can't do that to scrumper

Kelvin noodles a pasta elemental kelvin is immune to sauce damage But susceptible to dog slurps especially if they are in love lady in the tram style Christian H a.k.. aka Sergio Salazar Solomon, Saccariosti, Saquani, seventh of his name, a sexy Peruvian snake folk with sweet snake patterns on his skin. Sergio is so sexy that moonshine is too intimidated to hit on him and a hard one acts even more awkward

around him than he does around the trisses. Wow, Trayla, the cray-fay who said, nay, too hard one killing horses, around the trisses. Wow, Traylee, the cray-fay who said, Naaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy by loop-de-looping an airship. Nice. Erin G. Master of the banishment spell. Erin banishes the chunks of tomato off their pizza because they prefer a pizza with a higher cheese ratio. Eric B. An iron dwarf who found love by learning the true meaning of crick-miss. Check it out next year on the Hallmark channel.

I will. Jory S. Another human who's raised in the dwarf image. It's not as special the second time around, but we have a lot of hope that Jory S. Another human who's raised in the Dwarfenage. It's not as special the second time around, but we have a lot of hope that Jory S. will make something of themselves. Alucard, a reverse Dracula who only drinks blood on the weekends. Okay, you gotta, you know, establish boundaries. Baby doc, the only doctor to ever perform their own C-section. Also a licensed minister who performed their own C-section, also a licensed minister who performed their own

christening. At M.H. lost 15 pounds on Josh fit, then found out they were eating halfling and stopped, currently looking for an ethical source of halfling meat. Oh yeah, free range halflings. Kyle McQ, a Goliath who is often mistaken for a gentle giant because they really like flowers. Nope, this mean as big dude just like sniffing flowers and bullying the small.

Colin G invented the earth version of Bohumias Arcane. Crack cocaine. Wow! Ain't that interesting. Ryan, at Hardwan's ram, fought off the null pursuers then made it all the way to the crack of the material plane to hunt down the real enemy, hard one. Sure, foot. Big Buck, terrifying ranger who wields a bright orange blunderbuss and sells their fine meats and firsts for PBR and dive bar bathroom blow. Richard F. A dry ad who spent too long in the hot tub and like an over-watered plant withered away then was reincarnated as a known investigative journalist who leaked the bear prince's honey goblin conspiracy to the free spire press. Taylor S aka trash the

traveler trash interplain our passport is inked on every gold dang page and you better believe their picture is flattering. John WG the philanthropic rogue who uses their sneak attack to make sure that every birthday party is as a prize party. Troy McC uses the bodies of their dead foes as a shield and as a fence around their house they've never been robbed and literally never will be, but also trick or treaters skip their house.

Cannibalistic Cthulhu started at 2019 on a plant-based diet, just checking in how it's gone, is very into substituting walnuts for ground beef and tacos, but also beet juice-specced coconut milk for human blood. Sam L. the Fey, who has been air-bein-being the Bear Prince's lair for the past month. That's right, that sick dwelling is all Sam. Jim Jam Flam Flam, a one-man traveling band who once played a heart-wrenching rendition of hollahoo-luh. Hollahoo-luh-ya for the Bear Prince, Hallelu, Hallelu, yeah, for the Bear Prince,

only to be met with a blank stare, and the Bear Prince asking, uh, when is the beat drop, dude? Dom R. Maddie Big Crit's childhood bud who still calls him Matthias, because like, that's how well he knows him, you know? Matt H. the troll king who finally, after all the bids for power and false royalty died down,

landed on the throne, and has been a benevolent troll king whose focus is more infrastructure and public works than war. Josh asked the revive cyborg version of Josh the Cobald, more ferocious than the previous Josh unless you find the off switch. What's pregged me tree? AKA the kanku king, tried to form an alliance with the Kroes, only to discover they were being led by the ruthless Kaka, who refuses to cooperate with any other clan, tribe, or nation.

Caleb Storm, the love child of Kord himself, being a demigod, born to the God of Storms is great, but one of the biggest perks is Caleb always knows when a storm is coming and never has been caught without an umbrella. That'd be good, because you know, if you have curly hair and bangs that can get a little dicey. Andrew A, a high level priest who annulled Beverly the fourth scandalous, fair wild marriage. Beverly the fourth paid to have all evidence burned but Andrew A is hanging on to a secret copy just in case.

James G, a hypocrite but with the front half of a horse and the back half of an eagle can't fly but does take runny little white bird shits. Nicholas C has starred in every single movie ever made in Bahumia currently filming one fine face starring themselves opposite George Clooney. Matt L. a diviner whose enchanted divining rod can locate water even in the driest drought. Unfortunately, Matt L. lives in a fertile time and also on a houseboat so often feels like a normal person who doesn't own any rare magic items. In another life, you are the most powerful wizard in Bohemia, Matt L.

Targut, aka owner and proprietor of Bohemia's Beloved General Store, Targut. The best place to find modern home decor and electronics alike, Mrs. Togold got the family brumba at Targut. Mike H, a glater on Novelas 2 after watching the recent political turmoil, penned the largely unnoticed and not at all popular book series came of thrones. Kevin S, the biggest rock in Bohumia! Red hosts a concert series, over by Kevin S called Red's Rock. Kid Cuddy and DMB are co-headlining. Surprise Ranger, a rogue ranger who shoots throwing knives with their bow instead of arrows. Trouble, the three-headed gerbil who guards the pantry and the castle of Galatoron,

has prevented many a late- cookie raids from sticky finger chosen. And finally, Garrett M. rides two dragons like water skis, but instead of skiing on water, they ski on fire and it's so fucking badass. Yeah! Yeah! Thank you guys so much for listening. Thank you to all of our listeners. Thank you to all of our Patreon subscribers and our Council of Elders.

You guys can head on over to the Patreon now. Patreon.com slash and ad pod to listen to the short rest. We will catch you guys next week. Bye, sweeties. That was a Hate-Gum podcast.