Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 53: Escape From Old Court Castle (A Faerie Tale)

Episode Date: March 7, 2019

The Band of Boobs formulate a plan to rescue Queen Cirilla and escape Old Court! Moonshine cooks up a Chosen kebab, Hardwon executes "Operation: Lactose Lad," and Beverly makes his papa proud.  Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music/Sound Effects Include:"Dreamy Ambience" by Klankbeeld at Freesound.org."Fantastic & Fuddling" by Emily Axford."Sea Beast" by Emily Axford."A Haven Away From Home" by Emily Axford. "The Sultan of Stone" by Emily Axford."Spooky Shafts" by Emily Axford."Court of the Boy King" by Emily Axford. "Escape the Boy King's Brunch" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Bahumi. Bahumi. Ooh, good one. Whoa, look what's that. Trying to get warmed up, you everyone. Bahumiya. Bahumiya. Ooh, good one. Whoa, bubba. Trying to get warmed up, you know. Mr. Bev. I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy joined by Jake Herwitz. Hard one, surefoot.

Emily Axord. Moonshan Sabin. Butchurer of birds. Nice. Quack. And Carl Doltaner. Beverly Togalt the fifth. Feywild.

Gay child. You know. You hesitated. Aint the truth. With good news. Aint the truth. As a T-Tation Support, it's all about the living. We're all appreciate a good sync statement. Comedy is time. Keep it tight. Keep it tight. I think that's from a Jake and a Mirror from 2008. Hey, hey. You guys like Ryan's from a Jake and a mirror from 2008. Hey, hey.

You guys like Ryan's from 2012. Yeah. Golden Age. OK, guys, let's see a little recap. So last week's soad. Of last week's soad. We've been saying soad a lot today before we started recording.

Last week was a thick soad. In my house, like we're talking about how thick the soads were. Geerty soda. Oh. So you guys, fingers crossed for a thick soda this week. I believe Emily called last week a frothy soda, right? Yeah, frothy soda. We decided that the short episode

to the chowed soda, which we shouldn't put out there. Yeah. No, that's going to be commented on. Yeah, shouldn't put out there. Yeah. That's gonna be commented on. Yeah, we'll put out an episode that's like an hour and ten minutes and people will just be complaining about the chode soads. At the very least this episode can't be a chode so... I know. Now I want it to be a chode. Okay.

I'll have your own missions. I'm striving for the chode. On last week's thick episode. You guys traveled down to the old court beneath the summer court and abandoned city that was buried with the previous queen when she passed. Bev's dad had fled there with Queen Serilla when the chosen began flooding in from the material plane, trying the what? You heard her. I didn't.

Please go on. I don't want to dwell on it. It's not worth it. When the shows in began flooding in from the material plane, trying to capture her, during your pursuit, however, you misunderstood a teleportation device and sent a bunch of your items ahead of you, alerting many chosen guards and chosen angels to your presence. Hard one was nearly killed in the ensuing battle, but Moonshine was able to throw up a fog cloud, hide the rest of you in the city. Anytime, you know, think of a desk like a blanket that I'm tucking y'all into.

While the guards searched for you, you met up with a little ghost, a laddren, who helped you hide. She took you to her old bedroom and through some ghost charades, explained that she needed you to take her old bow, up to the surface world so that she could complete her unfinished business. She also informed you of another possible transporter in the castle that could get you out of the city. While in her bedroom, you overheard Barrett Brisden, the new Chosen Captain, another possible transporter in the castle that could get you out of the city. While in her bedroom, you overheard Barrett Brisden, the new Chosen Captain, scolding some soldiers for not being able to find you.

You then heard him agree to call in the hounds. Queen Ezra's unsealied team of elite hunters to find you and Queen Serilla. You watched the newly baptized angel Barrett Brisden fly off, then used find object to locate Beav's dad and did so successfully. You then ran into many more shows and angels along the way, but after plowing your way through many of them, Beav's dad finally showed up and together you delivered the finishing blow. So right now you guys are quite beaten up, low on spells spells you currently don't have Queen Cerilla with you and the Hounds have been called these hunters these

Drow hunters who killed Balnor's family in the other timeline. They will be here soon and that's where we are now. How soon is soon? Um. Well, can I do a real dog whistle? If you want to say something racist and see if people follow it? Oh, I guess that would be a chosen dog whistle. Yeah. So you guys are in this residential district of the abandoned underground city. You're on a dirt road between moss covered homes. You've just killed a bunch of these angels with the help of Bev's dad,

or very little help from Bev's dad. He really helps Bev deal like one of his- He's a tough guy. He's a tough guy. He's a tough guy. He's a tough guy. He's a tough guy. He's a tough guy.

He's a tough guy. He's a tough guy. He's a tough guy. He's a tough guy. He's a tough guy. He's a tough guy. He's a tough guy. He's a tough guy.

He's a tough guy. He's a tough guy. He's a tough guy. He's a tough guy. He's a tough bone. He hasn't us weekly. No, I was reading that when I was hiding. In us weekly in a most... I was reading that when I was hiding. In a neck pillow. So you've got this little ghost alladron girl with you. You've got Boundor and Bev's dad and Boundor seems pumped to fight these hounds.

I'll say, we wait for him. Let's wait, let's wait for him. You know, Boundor, I think that revenge will be sweeter fight these hounds. I'll say we wait for them. Let's wait. This is wait for you know about our I think that revenge will be sweeter if we sort of lured them to a more strategic location specifically one where maybe we also found Queen Serilla. It seems important. Yeah we got to get the heck out of here gang. These these hounds are no joke. Beverly the fourth. young, or where, Cerilla is? Yeah, you know what, why don't we slip into one of these homes,

not around all of these angel quarters? Sounds smart. Yeah. Beverly is a little bewildered. I feel like I have like double vision, because I'm just seeing two dads all the time. I'm just like darting back between both of them. You've got old dad, and now Balnor is comparatively young dad. Wow Balnor moving

up in the ranks. So Bebs dad, super excited to see you guys kind of grabs all of you with his little halfling arm. She's like jumping up on you guys. He's like, he's more like sprightly now because he's been hanging out in the Feywild. He's like this little mischievous dude. Does he have like old man muscle? Where it's a kind of wiry? Yeah, if he took a shirt off, he'd be like real barrel-chesty. Oh yeah. So he grabs you guys, takes you into one of these little houses, not so near the crime scene. Did we get a hug again? Yeah, we got a hug again, but you guys hug again. All right, all right, it's important.

And then Bev's senior goes, so wasn't sure if you guys were gonna make it here in time, was not expecting the chosen to come in through the old material plane there. I thought this was gonna be a little bit easier than it was, but no. Also thought Alonus might be Me eating up with me. So oh

Alonus is she's following her truth, you know She said I think she's trying to create a distraction. She's she's gone back. She's got shit with the y'all She's trying to help us out in her way her path took us in her in a different direction. She's not just stone, right? No, no, no, she is sober. She's stone sober. I think she's a sober she can get. Yeah. Bev senior looks at you, Bev.

You didn't smoke any of that stuff, did you, Bev? No, sir. No, sir. But in a relative sense, didn't say it. I didn't smoke any. Yeah, I don't think he did. No, really? I'm pretty sure I didn't.

I'm pretty sure I watched. He's more into alcohol, sir. Yeah, I don't know he did. No, really? I'm pretty sure I didn't. I'm pretty sure I watched. He's more into alcohol, sir. Yeah, I don't know if you've ever seen this, but he actually, he can really have a torta. I'm talking about him right now. I'm talking about him right now. We've had a wild week. All right, well, we'll talk about my weird opinions

about how beer is okay, but smoking is weird in the future. I am a dad. Yes, sir. So I actually, I queen Cyrillus in the castle right now, Ken. So she's in quite a bit of trouble because there's a bunch of angels and foot soldiers congregating over there.

When I first came down here, they know where she is. They don't know where she is. She frozen, no, she's just heartbroken. She's catatbroken. She's... Catatonic. Okay. She's as close to sleep.

Like, no white, sleep and beauty. Yeah, it's real fairy tale. Here's a question. She got sweatpants on? No. Okay. They're still, you know, they keep it in style. Either way, they stay home here. So even in morning, she's like keeping it tight.

Yeah. Not even Lulu's? You got her Lulu's on? What's going on? No, it's like a dress. Oh wow. Good for her. You know, get not a bed. Anyway gang, she's gonna die and then we're all gonna die. Yeah. So I had to hide her in the castle and I ran off to kind of divide their attention. I asked a little favor from her mom who's the old queen who was buried here. I saw our picture. Yeah Flix a flame at the bottom of her tin. Yeah, Queen islin the sun mother. There's a little You'll see it when we get there, but her throne's kind of a little bit of a memorial garden type deal and I I put Queen Cyrilla there Oh, okay, okay, so okay, she's like covered in I put Queen Serilla there. Oh. Okay. Okay.

So, okay. She's like covered in weeds kind of. So you put her at her mother's grave. Yeah. And just cover it with a bunch of vines. Oh, they're kind of alive. Okay, okay. You got it, guys.

You got to see it. I personally would have gone broom closet. You got to see it before you judge. Okay. It sounds great. It sounds cool. It sounds cool to me. So we got to get her. And then then we all gotta get out of here.

But I don't know how we can get out of here because we can't go back through the transporter because we got the dang unceilig out there, we got the chosen. Luckily we made ourselves a young friend and she informed us of a transporter inside the castle. Secret transporter. You see the little ghost-alladrant girl waves at Bev Seenur and he goes, oh, ghost!

And he just like shrugs. He just been living in the field wild for like 25 years. So insane shit is just normal. I believe I don't believe I ever asked this young girl her name. She cannot speak. She can spell. But maybe her name. She cannot speak. She can spell. But maybe her name is Rose and she could become a Rose. Are you, are you Rose?

She laughs and shakes her head now. What's your name? You see, she takes like a gaseous form and spells the name Tariff. Tariff. Tariff, ain't that beautiful. It's like Tariff and and Ruth met Standa one. Two beautiful things.

She nods, exactly. But it looks like maybe she doesn't understand what you're talking about. She's helped us find her way around, Dad. Oh, thanks, little ghost. I just brushed her hair. You can't touch her. It just goes right through her face.

That's all right. So, okay, Beverly the fourth, I've gotta be honest. I am a bit afraid at the seams right now. Is what you're saying? It sounds like where you've placed Sarilla is a bit precarious and the idea of me taking a full night's rest might be ill-advised. Well, what is this, Sleet?

If they went off to get the hounds, they'll be back in the next hour or two, I would imagine. And once they're here, they will know where Queen Cyrill is instantly. We got any more of those pep sticks? I don't think we do. We do not. And you see.

No, but I do just have some meth. Oh, look at that. Oh, look at that. Oh, look at that. Oh, look at that. Bev senior goes, I mean, gang, we can't fight the whole chosen army. We got to get her and get out. If we get caught, we're dead anyway. So it's not about having a whole fight. All right. So this is a smash and run.

Smash and grab operation. Unless we want to just like wait for them hounds. Get him. Down or out? Down or out? He's a real hound right here. That's right. Who led the hound down?

Me. Me. Let's keep you on with the leash for now. I love the Jurengry Bound or I fucking love it. We're gonna use it but not right now. Yeah, maybe later when we're having a paint party. The revenge is gonna be sweeter when we don't get killed by the hound. But hey, you know what?

Keep those hackles up. Keep those hackles up my man. Why don't you hold by the house. But hey, you know what? Keep those hackles up. Keep those hackles up, my man. Why don't you hold up the rear so that like you, you're the first one to take a blow when they come at you. You're the first one to make a blow. Sniffin' around, yeah, yeah, make a blow. They're gonna have to bite through me.

Oh, I just remembered they said sniffers last. Don't like that. Oh yeah, sometimes they're called the sniffers. And, just deeply disturbed. Anyway, yeah, sometimes they're called the sniffers Anyway, they're gonna be here soon sensibilities are red. Oh, let's go. Yes, let's go get that queen Take us to this newsing beauty. So she's in the main throne room. You'll you'll know her when you see her but Where's this transporter in the castle? You see the little ghost girl kind of Spell it in the dust.

Spell it in the dust. We have paper. She makes the word chamber. Like the bathroom? She shakes her head now. Okay, she makes like, no, like she makes like a bed. Ah, so it's your bedroom. That's somewhere in the castle.

Somewhere in the castle. Okay, well if y'all want any pass without trace I'm gonna have to take Zilts trans here How un-defended is the sky right now go pop your head outside and make a perception check Last time I made a perception check my beloved was murdered in front of my eyes. Do you guys want me to do that? I want you to because I think you need to face this fear. 12. 12.

Okay, hard one, you pop your head out. You see that. To save Jemma. You guys. You guys, 12. What's your name, Jemma? Decimated the angel population in this area. But you do see in the far distance the castle, it kind of sits higher than the rest of the city.

You do see that there's a lot of activity there. Yeah, you see Bev's dad pips up and he goes, I think they saw me run in there, which is why we kind of split up. So they sent some people out looking for me and they got a bunch of people in the castle who we haven't dealt with at all. You see some angels circling around the castle looking around. So maybe we do need some some spell help. Yeah, it might be time to trans. We could take a little short rest. That could be pretty good. I'm at two HP currently.

So maybe a little sit down might be nice. Oh, I didn't even think about my HP, my HP is dog shit. Yeah, let's take a short rest. Let's take a resty. I got a real quick. I want to have a little chat with Beverly the fourth. You seem like a wise fellow. Yeah, let's take a short rest. Let's take a resty. I got a real quick. I want to have a little chat with Beverly the fourth You seem like a wise fellow. Yeah Something about the way you speak. It's just filled with authority Eyes are just insane I was kidnapped by the unceilig for a little bit and I was in a hole

Laura, yeah, it's gonna be good to get you back home to them sticky buns. That's half length end up in holes a lot. Sticky buns. He thinks about them and he starts salivating. Oh no, a thousand yard stare. Oh god. Noodle too will, my friend.

Um, so I got a spell called Vane Death. If I were to cast that on Cerilla, do you think that that would get the hounds off her trail? Like presumably if you entered a death like state, would you not exude any sort of like magical aura that the hounds be sniffing for? I think that could be helpful and throwing them off your trail a little bit.

But there's also her crown and such that's kind of like woven into her hair So there's there's an innate power that she kind of gives off Thank you so much for your guidance and I'm just gonna flip the bib and start until it's transom right 99 Great, so you guys all take a little bit patch up your balloons guys go ahead and roll your hit Dyson's and stuff Yes Guys, go ahead and roll your hit license and stuff. Yes. Ooh, give me that day 12. I'm doing a found door, it's just looking out the window. I'm doing a push-up set with Baleno.

Yeah. Baleno's got the restless leg syndrome. Wait, yeah, can we invite Baleno or to do squats with us? Yeah. Hard to wonder, you think there's any chance that the Hounds will show up real quick and we'll get to fight them, even though these guys don't want to fight them? Yeah, tell you what, dude, why don't you pretend I'm a hound. I'm gonna put my hands up and do a little shout out boxing

furiously like Just like crying a little too loudly. All right good man. You're ready to face the hounds You know in a few days You see the little ghost eladrian girl is like giving you guys the quiet side. I know, I know, Derek. Cool. All right. I got some second level spells again.

So I'm don't know that pass without trace. Bring it in y'all. Ooh, hell yeah. Ooh, just good. Everybody gets in close. Don't get that tingle. Yeah, get that stealthy sweetness. Moonshine makes everybody all stealthy.

You guys all got plus 10, your stealth rolls for a little bit. Can we say that we're all wearing black turtlenecks and berets now? Sure, absolutely. It can manifest itself that way. You see the little ghost girl gives herself one as well. I'm wearing those like rubbery shoes

where it's split at the toe. So we've got like a little angel like a little little like Yeah, we're all wearing vibroma Five finger toes or whatever. We're in those girl issues. Oh my gosh. The real issues black turtle necks and brain. Um, yes, we had there. Should we see how the sun mother's sleeping? Let's do it. All right. Sweet. Um, so you guys are able to sneak through this part of the city pretty easily because There's a bunch of buildings you guys are kind of able to just shift into alleys and stuff as you see the occasional bird sorry no angel flying overhead but you guys have decimated decimated the chosen over here. You guys are able to sneak through the

city there are a bunch of homes and businesses to the south and then you get to the big garden with the gazebo and teleport platform in the middle. And then to the north of that is the castle. And yeah, I'll say with all the guys you've fought, you're able to sneak up close enough to it. You find like a big like barracks-type building near the castle that you're able to hide behind

to stake out the castle. And you see this castle, it is straight out of a fairy tale. There are the cone-like spires and towers that shoot up a drawbridge that crosses a beautiful moat of trickling water. Above the archway, there is a giant stained glass image of the previous summer queen holding a sunflower. It's red and orange and yellow and overhead you do see more angels flying into the various towers along with footmen and the occasional angel on foot Walking across the drawbridge. They're all like huffing and super mad.

Keep searching in there. Search the second floor again. The angels are screaming at the footmen. You see they're carrying out tables, and they're just ransacking the castle. Hey, Tarrath, is there any secret passages or shady or entrances we could use here? You see she looks thoughtful and eyes up the castle, and just to give you guys a better idea, think of the castle as just a square

with a tower at each of its four corners. You see that it's two stories tall, and you can imagine that the main hall or the throne room probably takes up most of the ground floor. So you see a lot of foot soldiers on the ground near the drawbridge in the center and a lot of angel circling overhead, some of them flying into windows on the second story or patrolling the walkways between the towers.

You can surmise that you'll either need to enter through a door or window in one of the towers or through the main gate out front and after a bit you see terath points toward the tower to the left of the main gate where there appears to be only, let me roll really quickly. One angel overhead on the walkway on the second floor, and there are no foot soldiers immediately outside of it. It's like as we had there, it's like four spires I'm imagining. Yes. Okay, so we go to the spire on the left in the front. Sweet. imagining? Yes. Okay. So we go to like the the spire on the left and the front. Sweet. Michael. Yes. Okay. So you guys walk over to like the left side of the castle. You see that most of the activity is coming out of this drawbridge. Like dudes are just like hauling

like tables out just like carelessly throwing this beautiful ancient like a lager in a furniture just like into the moat and shit just like destroying this castle. Hits you that a full flip they're flipping this castle. Yeah, they really are. They should at least do an estate sale they would make a lot of money. You know I'm a post it on Craigslist. Do it up. So you get over to the left the bottom left side of this castle and you see that there's a tower there

and there is a little window. Occasionally you'll see like one there, and there is a little window. Occasionally, you'll see like one or two guys walk by the little window, but you guys will need to get closer and do some stealth checks and cross the little moat if you'd like to check it out. I know you guys are kind of in the city,

just like scoping it out. I do wanna check out the water. Yeah, do it up. Okay, go ahead and give me a stealth check and then give me a perception check. All right. Oh, 19. Okay. Okay, go ahead and give me a stealth check and then give me a perception check. Oh, 19. Okay, I think, oh, my dex is zero. Yeah, 19. Okay, and then let me do my perception. Sweet, I'm gonna say on the left side of the castle, there's just the one angel who like flew into like a higher part of the tower. I'll have him do a perception check. He does not hit a 19, so he does not see you.

See him fly into one of the windows, hire up the footmen on the ground. Don't see you either. Excellent, successful stealth. Once there, I peer into the water, and with my two that I have rolled, shout out to the two crew. I see nothing.

You don't see anything in there. Does he do at least see your own reflection? I do, but I'm disappointed in it. Yeah, you barely even see that. You see that it looks like because of the trickling of the water, it looks like your ass has gotten smaller from the squads. What?

No! It just looks super wrinkly. I've got waterlogged ass over here. What is it, bad? Is there a monster in there you look so upset? No, it's my little rump. It's bad. Oh, I got a little romp too, bud.

We've been cursed. You've been cursed. You're cursed with my genetics, poppins. Okay, I love you. Love you, it's my son. It's got a little romp. Ben, if you're able to sneak up, there is a garden near the moat.

So you get down and you hide amongst these big, fake flowers, then the ground dips down into the water of the moat, and you're able to swim across silently and sneak up to a window by the side of the tower. And most importantly, it's not cursaid water. And it's not cursaid water. Nothing bad happens to you. You poke your head into this one tower.

You look into the window, and you see a small stone room. You see a doorway that clearly leads into the throne room, like the main hall area. You see a stone staircase descending down. And you see two footmen in there. You see them carrying a barrel out from the stairs. Is there anything leaking out of the barrel? Go ahead and make a perception check.

Shadda to the two to crew ahead and make a perception check. Shout out to the Tutu crew. Tutu robot. We got a ballerina here, because I'm up on my two-toes. I'm up on my two-toes. Now we're going to be great barrel. I'm loving this barrel. I'll say even with a terrible perception check, you see them pouring out some like wine, some like red liquid. Oh, that looks like a good vintage.

Yeah, these guys are real dorks. Mm. I've got our poor spores going. I'm reeling all of this to them. Okay. I'm within range. Are we back? He's gone on without us or I'm going on.

He's gone, he's up near the tower. You guys are back in the city. Okay. Should we try and like hop in through here? We can probably take these two people before they alert anyone else. Yeah, we could also like try and cast confusion on them or something. I was thinking about using minor illusion to create a small cheese sandwich.

Or glass of milk, they all love milk. Do you love the milk? Or you could create more wine, they clearly hate wine. Yeah, or like a nudie mag, make a nudie mag that they can't seem to get. Oh, yeah. Oh yeah and if you make a Newtie mag let's put it in in my ship afterwards. I need you to make a Newtie mag and then keep minor illusioning it like every time they reach for it minor illusion at like five feet further. Absolutely. Can I do that while you allow that sir daddy. You're gonna minor illusion and Newtie

mag. Yeah so they're gonna try and grab it so they can throw it away. Yeah, I think it's their uptime. Okay, so you guys are gonna sneak up near this tower, too. Yeah, more than with a nudie mag. Metal gear style. Okay, everybody give me stelchicks. Hell yeah.

20. I was trying to think about what Newtie Mag bev would like and the only title I think of was Boy's Life. Ha ha ha ha. You have a 31, bra. Whoa. You're good. Cool.

Ballonor and Bev's dad do well enough as well. All five of you guys sneak up to this little tower. Look inside. You see these two freaking losers just pouring out wine. She's not in this one either brother. We should pour out the wine anyway because it is a sin to drink alcohol. Tarot, don't listen to these fucking herbs. She's shaking her head. Yeah, Tarot, honestly, when you're of age, which is Nihah, we're gonna show you good time. Yeah, we're gonna brew up some ghost wine for you. She gives it up. We're gonna get you right time. Yeah, we're gonna brew up some ghost wine for you. She gives it that was up. We're gonna get you right fucked up, Tara.

She'll show you trick life. She'll I deploy the smut? Yeah. Tara, watch this. This is hilarious. I summon all my primal strength. And I cast smut from nothing. Make it a real juicy one, so they really want to throw it out.

All right, yeah. I think it probably do like, you know, it's like a smattering on the cover. It's like something for everyone I think. Yes, I think. Maybe it's like a threesome going on on there. Oh, yeah. With some juicy rumps I would say.

It's like a slide beastiality. Yeah, I did the game. But where have you seen this? What, never. I finally showed it to me once, okay? Oh. You too. That's what you're doing down there. What never I find early showed it to me once okay You two that's what you're doing down there, but I blush a blush big time So I'll say that for practical purposes you probably have like a green teen handbook or something You're like morphing the images of like people canoeing to be just like adults fucking

to be just like adults fucking. Tell her, forgive me. And then you throw, you're just like putting the nude magazine like in the corner of the room, like reaching in. Yeah, but I think I have attached it. Oh, can I may chandit as well? Yeah, you can carry a magazine with them. So that I'm like basically fishing lining it towards me. Okay, go ahead.

We'll quaggit, not to over-analyze the Newtie Mag plan, but are we doing this to lure them away and then go up those stairs or are we doing it to lure them to us? I figured I was thinking we're doing it to lure them away. So just to be clear, guys, there's only stairs down here

and you see a door opening to the throne room. Oh, so we don't even need to go down that. No. But we can still distract them with the nudie mag that they can't seem to pick up while we... I was gonna say we use the nudie mag to draw them towards the window and then we just knock their lights out

as soon as they get to the window before they can alert the guards. You guys also hear it is pretty loud. People are like wrecking furniture. There's guys yelling at each other and stuff. So for you to stab somebody or get into like the smallest fight before somebody could scream, that's not gonna be the end of the world. This isn't you guys like creeping into a house in the middle of the night. This is so you guys walking into a loud. Yeah, so we can-

That's Newtieet Attack. Yes. All right, so I tell hard one and Balnor and my dad to like prepare their cocks, cold cocks, their cocks. Okay, yeah, just like get your- What about me? Can I cock my cock? Absolutely, good cocked. You see Balnor and Beth Dad just look at each other and pull out their swords.

Oh yeah, that works too. Yeah. I release my penis and I grab my hammer after seeing that. Rock that cold cut. So go ahead and make a deception check. They'll do a perception check. I really want this to work. This would be a stupid time to use enhanceability, right?

They got a 10 on their perception. My deception was a 13. Okay. Sweet. Not a while it's success. My deception was a 13. Okay, sweet Not a while it's success, but I'm a success It counts a middling success. That's Beverly to golden nuts You see as these guys are Pouring out wine. It's it's like painful. You can only imagine how many like probably Thousands of years old a lager and wine, probably finer than Elven wine,

just don't ping it out. Can you also use the Mage Hand at the end to try and scoop up a little bit of this wine just so we can taste it? Oh, absolutely. Okay, just keeping in your backpack. They're dumping all this wine. Beverly uses Mage Hand to place like a dusty magazine

in the corner of the room near like the steps to the basement. It's called the player's handbook. It's called the player's handbook. Nice. Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! You guys make like a little noise to alert them. Ah! One of them turns and sees this like dusty magazine in the corner and he goes, Brother Elliott, what's that? We should go investigate. Walks over, picks it up. Oh my goddess, these alladrin are sick. Boundor fucking goes to stab one at the eyeball. He reaches in

through the thing. We all attack, right? Yeah, everybody go ahead and take your swings. Boundor, Boundor just sword through both eyeballs. Like just like the bridge of his nose as he's reading the sword. The other guy goes to yell, this is all happening instantly, who wants to attack his head?

But I got a 25 hit. That hits. instantly who wants to take that out. I got a 25 hit that hits hit him for 20 and then spores him for six. So unbelievably dead. These these guys die as they're horrified by the horrors of porn. Can I spores him in the eyes? Yeah. Sure. It's a mercy.

So you guys reached through and he said,, oh my God, it's true. I kind of respect him and you're all cool. Fair enough. You finish these guys and they're dead in a big room full of like wine. You like the blood kind of just like blends in with this ancient red that's on the floor. At the moment, there's no other guys in here, but you see movement in the other room and like, let's drag their bodies out of the way. One of the kind of barrels.

Oh yeah, perfect. I stuffed them in the barrels. Sweet, so you guys hop in this little window. I want a real quick, Malora, forgive me for what I'm about to do. I'm gonna pour out my creek water and then fill it up with that Aladdin wine. Hey, win and fail. You're right, yeah.

You're probably able to, they were like halfway through pouring out a barrel when you got them with the nudie mag. And you got them, you're able to fill up your little flask. We cooked that goose so right. And you guys throw these bodies in the barrels and close them up. Okay. Um, let's go in the throne room. I guess we want to go. We want to go to the second floor to find the teleport. Yeah. Um, but the only stairs we have here are downstairs. Uh, or to go to the throne. Yeah. Um, can we like peek through the keyhole to the door of the throne room maybe?

Yeah. So right now the door is open. I'll say it's like cracked open. If you want to like peek your head in. Yeah, let's take a look. Cool, go ahead and everybody give me a perception check. Can we, we have a big crowd. We're rolling deep. Can we do like a totem pole with like everyone?

Yeah, we can. Even the little ghost of Lajren, Tarrot, Tarrot, get in here. It's a thing with do you peek round corners-ground corners, it's Cubist Hall, and right now we're all wearing berets, so fuck yeah. 19. I received a 22. There you go, okay, hold on.

You see faded banners of the summer court. It's an older design than the current one. You see that the sun is less wavy and more pointed. It's this great hall, you can imagine at one time that there were many great feasts and weddings held here, but right now, it's just a bunch of chosen dudes and ladies tearing it apart looking for the queen. It's this big open room.

There are great windows that give it lots of sunlight. Like everywhere else in the city, there's a lot of moss and vine overgrowth. You see turned over giant braziers that probably had one time helped like the haul. There are great columns, these pillars, intricately carved with the forms of a ladren. And at the end of the room,

Moontan, especially with your perception check, you see steps up to a platform and a throne. And you see there's a garden growing all around the throne. In fact, you see sitting atop it is a plant sculpture of the former queen. Arms, legs, hands, feet, made of lush green plants, a long dress of leaves, and a crown of sunflowers. And moonshine, what did you get with your perception check? 22.

Your summer court pendant that crann gave you begins to glow ever so slightly, and you just know in your heart that Cerrilla is under that, I see. The plant thing. And you see, you see? You did not tell me what a wizard you were

with a taupe here in Beverly the Four. Oh, I didn't make this. This is kind of a something. You shoved her in a proceeding to a day. I asked, hey, don't say yourself short. You're rosebusters. I think gorgeous back home. Yeah, I think you got to green them.

So you see in this room, there are, you guys are in like the, instead of saying like Northwest or Southeast or anything like that, I'll just say you guys are in like the bottom left corner of the castle, like from the entrance Actually is way easier to understand. Yeah, yeah There's another door top left corner top right And bottom right and then there's the throne and there looks to be things behind the throne but you see about

16 footmen like just tearing the place apart. There's guys coming out of another room like carrying a table out and stuff People like looking in through chests trying to figure out where they are you see a Few scared footmen standing around the garden like they try to get close and like a vinyl come up and like shoot at them They've got their own personal vineyard We're still in the room. We haven't left the room yet. Right. Can I just kind of like maybe take a few steps downstairs and like see if I can get a sense of what's going on?

Does that seem like a bad idea? Bev, you sneak down the steps. You don't hear anything as you go down there. You get down there and you see that this is like the seller, that there are many of these barrels of a lagerin wine. That maybe if this was a normal castle, that this would also be where like the kitchen is and stuff, but you get the sense that these lagerin people

probably like magically make a lot of their stuff. Right. Yeah, is it so stupid to think that we could put on the costumes of the lagerin and then put each other in the barrels and then pretend that we're throwing it out? That's so stupid. And the chosen costume? Yeah. I mean, hard one could probably pull off a chosen. No offense. and then put each other in the barrels and then pretend that we're throwing it out. That's so sick. That's so sick.

That's so sick. Yeah. I mean, hard one could probably pull off a chosen. No offense. Uh, a lot taken. Ha ha ha. Munchan, turn me into a bird. Ha ha ha.

I call him more hard one and do a bird. Ha ha ha. Go! How is this better? I won with call call now. Ha ha ha. It might not be a bad idea. Really?

I mean, I don't know, he's a human. Yeah, mostly these guys have hounds. The only, the chosen are only humans, right? Yeah, I think so. They're pretty exclusive. Hard one, are you willing to don the clop of your enemy? As long as I don't have to shave my beard. Hard one, how basic are you willing to go?

I'll get a bump, spice latte. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I don't know what you're not getting. Hard one, are you gonna take a minute and put on the chosen armor? Yeah, sure. Okay, what are the rest of you guys gonna do? Because I don't know if not that hard one can't necessarily do it, but one dude walking around with like two barrels full of people is gonna look weird. I mean, I'm gonna keep, I've got good stealth so I can keep stealth.

Why don't we use the bag of holding and say that he's like got a bag full of a contraband and he's taking it outside. That could work. Or he's walking around and like picking up trash. He's like the guy at the end of the night who's like picking up all the beer bottles and putting in a big trash can, sure.

Why don't you do that and then all stealth. I'll straight up stealth to another thing because I've got good stealth. Cool. So everyone is staying together except for moonshine. I think is everyone getting in the bag of holding it and I'm gonna hold that. You guys are only gonna be able to hold your breath for like a minute. Yeah, we should split up further than that.

Bev's dad could go. Bev's dad has pretty good stealth these days. He could go with. Oh, yeah. I was also gonna say that some people could just hide in a barrel for now and we'll be back. Do you know what I'm saying? That's true. Yeah, you see Bev's dad pipes up, he goes, I can hide in the basement and when I hear stuff start to go down,

I could just come out and meet you guys. Yeah. Do you wanna come up with a signal or can we report for as my dad? I'll just scream really loud. There you go Yeah, a big old scream that'll do it. I mean, I will I will mash some spores on him though Okay, I'll say that report spores can reach everybody in the castle So you can kind of just I was trying to look for the way you get in the castle

Yeah, you could just let me know when to come out. You see Bev's dad just really quick scramble In between some of the barrels. Wow stay safe. You so worry now. You see just like little yellow eyes Doing the barrels He is like a mountain man. I do not know how you're gonna just put him back in a hobbit hole and expect him to like play with a room You don't you don't even hear him breathing Just like gone friends. I love you. I'm trying to be strong for my dad I'm worried about the fella. He has lost his taste for sticky buns Yeah, there's you know what his first bite of sticky bun. Everything's gonna come back

His head's kind of a mad man You got to teach him how to be a dad again Bella. That's coming from the guy that shit into space. You guys begin to hear footsteps. Yeah, so I'm coming down the steps. Oh, okay, then I guess I'm waiting for those footsteps to go by. And then whenever they go by, I want to go stealth. And then... You see, one loser, dude.

He's got like curly blonde hair out under his little chosen helmet. He walks in, he goes, Hey, are you guys in here breaking the wall? You guys in here pouring out the wine? I Swing my hammer Oh no you swung it Gerald iron face 26 We'll go with the 26 gonna make you go and do your damage We'll go with the 26. Go on to make, go on to your damage.

While I'm watching this go down though, I am realizing that we should probably curl hard ones hair if we want him to pass as a chosen one. Exactly. So you give him a full perm. Do we have time to perm hard ones? I mean, as a purveyor of poison, I definitely have some purve poison. 13 damage. 13 is actually enough. These guys play the numbers game.

They ain't so good on their own. And then I said that their best folks down to the basement to throw out wine. But yeah, you dense this guy's face until he's gone. He just doesn't have a nose or eyes anymore. He just comes down. Last thing he sees is a hammer. Coming from who he thinks is his good friend,

but brother Elliott. Turn to Tara, then I say that's what you get when you don't like to drink. She looks a little scared. Okay, so now I'm going to stealth up and I'd like to stealth into that main room. Cool, okay, I'm going to go ahead and roll a D12, see how many foot man are in the main room.

Okay, so there are nine people in there currently, but they're all kind of busy working. You see that there are a couple that are trying to investigate the throne to see what's going on. They see that there's something magical about the throne, but they don't know that Queen Cyril is there. They probably just think that this is the resting place of the Queen and magic is protecting it.

So they're trying to get past it, but they haven't done it yet. And you see other people coming in through the different rooms and stuff. Go ahead and roll your stealth check and I'll roll a perception for these guys. 29. Cool. Go ahead and roll a D20. One through a five. An angel flies in the doorway

while these footmen are coming in. Seven. Seven, okay, it's just the footmen per now. Ah, finally. The angels are mostly using their flying ability to scout around the castle, so you're not seeing as many in the throne room. So Moonshide, you are able to like, duck behind pillars, hide under debris

of like broken tables and things like that. Honestly, like I'm moving like a jazz dancer. Right, serpentine, jazz hands. So where you wanna head, you see, I'll kinda just- I wanna go up to the top left. Okay, so you see in the top left, even just in this throne room, you start to get a better idea for what's going left. Okay, so you see in the top left, even just in this throw- Oh, I guess-

Start to get a better idea for what's going on. Okay, yeah, describe the doors to me. Yeah, so you see in the top left, you see guys- If one of them says, if one of them says, the queen's room do not enter, that means you. You see guys pulling out like racks of weapons and stuff and kind of like rating weapons, you see like a guy, pull out a lance, like comes out with one.

You see like little armor stands that looks to be some kind of like guards quarters or something like that. Okay. Which door is that? Which door is that? That's top left. These doors are all open at this point.

Okay. You see top right guys are like throwing out chairs and stuff like that as they search. You see that they're breaking like a table. It looks to be some kind of dining room area. Okay. And then bottom right is the same thing. Looks to be like some kind of lounge or something like that.

You see a beautiful owl bear rug and like mounted heads of all of these beasts getting like thrown out. It looks like it was like set up like a hunter's lodge or something like that. They're problematic, but okay. Okay, if I'm a queen, I probably like to, you know, wake right up and go right to the kitchen,

get some grub. First things first, I'm royalty, I do what I want, I want breakfast immediately. So you want to go to like the top right room? Yeah. Go ahead and give me another stealth roll. Okay. Thank God for advantage. Malora, give me another stealth roll. Okay. Thank God for

advantage. Well Laura you are good at me. 25. 25. Okay. Um go. 26. 26. Go ahead and roll a D21 through a five. Uh an angel will be in the room. 10. 10. Okay. Just foot soldiers. I'm gonna roll a D6 because this room's a little bigger. See how many foot soldiers there are five foot soldiers in this dining room. Do I see any stairs? Are there stairs in your house? Y'all remember that? Mm-hmm, from something awful to come. I do. Okay. You poke your head in.

This looks to have been a small dining hall possibly for family dinners that weren't huge feasts. There's a big wood table in the middle that's been like broken in half. A long table runner with the orange and yellow of the summer court kind of toss to the side. All toss to the side stems from candles. Melted long ago, the room is quite trashed. There are all these chairs knocked over

and all these stupid idiot dudes walking around searching every which way. And you see a couple of them go up the stairs. chairs knocked over and all these stupid idiot dudes walking around searching every which way and you see a couple of them go up the stairs. There are stairs leading up here. I'm a report I'm a report to y'all and say there are stairs in here. There are quite a few folk but there are stairs in here. Would you like me to check out the top left and see if there are also stairs in there or do we just want to be like, this is it. I think this is a good bet.

This is a good bet. Other one seems like the armory. The stairs is theirs. Is anyone have any other thoughts? Like do y'all think that we need to go for a srilla now? Do you think we need to actually go up these stairs? I'm kind of like. Let's do a little further recon maybe.

What do you think, Harwan? I'm not a just go for the queen. I feel like we go for the queen. Yeah, let's do it. You know what? No hesitation, so I'm up for it. What if I just sneak up to that platform and just get ready like as soon,

like we basically grab Cerilla and book it? Sounds good. Maybe I can come in and say that there's something happening elsewhere in the castle or in the yard. Try to lead people out of the zone. Here's a question. We should use information we know. What is that? What is that guy's name? Brother Brisbane? Yeah, Brisbane. Just say Brisbane just showed up. Barrett Brisbane. Barrett Brisbane just showed up and it's milk Monday. He got a milk truck. Everyone go out. He got the jokes, he got the strawberry,

he got the chocolate, he got the banana. Or we could do something more pressing like that. Bear prison just showed up and he has to roll in his arms out front. I'll do both. He has Cyrilla and a whole bunch of milk for us all. So much for his free milk. You see, Bounder goes,

wasn't that guy like choking the people that he was with? Do you think they're gonna believe that he got the milk? I'll say, I have milk. And he has Sarilla. Okay, yeah. Seems like a perfect plan. You do that. I'll be waiting, I'll head up by that teletransporter right now.

I'll try to see if Dad's gonna know how to get Cyrilla out of this tangle. Yeah, maybe Dad, we can kind of commune with the vines and try and get Cyrilla out of there. Does that sound good? Yeah, he looks at the little pendant that you guys got from Cran and he goes, yeah, this is Marku as friends of the summer court. I'm sure you could appeal to her. The other thing we have up our sleeve is that big ol' horn. We could call that crazy...

We do got that horn. We could call that army right now to throw down while we book it. Yeah, I'll distract them, get them as far away from the thrown room as I can. Then I'll blow the horn. Perfect. Hard one, you got I'll blow the horn. Perfect. Hard one, you got to sing the Milky Song. Yes. I will sing the Milky Song.

That's how they know. And I'm going to be stealthy. And I will do a Milky dance. Concurrently, while they are doing this, I'm stealthing upstairs. Okay. To move that room. Okay, Moon Shine. I'm going to roll for something.

Go ahead and roll me a stealth check first off. 18. Moonshine, you begin stealthing up the tower. And as you begin making your way of the spiral staircase to the second floor, you see that there is one guy ahead of you kind of making his way up the stairs and you begin to hear someone behind you.

Climbing up the steps. Okay, I would like to, the person in front of me, I would like to slay throw. Okay, go ahead and make a stealth check. I got a net 20 baby. Oh! Y-Y-Y-Y. I'll say just roll your damage.

Yeah! 13 and I can spores him for six. Okay, he's already dead. Moonshine, you slit this dude's throat. He starts to fall back, assuming you like catch him and kind of put it down slowly. I'm a far from carry him. So you're just gonna keep going up

or you're gonna deal with the guy behind you. Oh yeah, I'll deal with the guy behind me also. Okay. You guys just put the reports for us. It's almost like a little headset. You guys just hear. You're grunting. Huh.

Okay. Am I doing okay? Stealth or attack? You can do just attack, because it's gonna be a surprise round. 20? It's 20. Moonshine, you hear the thick plots of a chosen goober coming up the stairs behind you and you

Fucking Benson Henderson off the cage you like go step on the side of the wall and then stab into his neck before he can even get Yeah, bitch Is there anyone else? There's nobody else in the staircase right now at this moment. All right, I can't lay them on top of each other. Hahaha. Because I don't think I can firemen carry both without hindering my stale. Another lover's twist.

Yes. I put them in a six-in-a-half. There are epic. There are like little tower, like windows outside of the tower if you want to like try to shove them out and like throw them out into the moat below or something. But wouldn't that, I would think them plopping into the moat would attract more attention. Okay.

Um, Moonshine you leave two dead guards in the town. Or I could try to fire them and carry them both. You could drag them right? You can take them one at a time probably. I'll take them one at a time. Okay. Um, I'm gonna go ahead and roll and see if any of you're just gonna have an endless amount of dudes yet to keep carrying out. This is a perfect honey pot. It's a workout. Mochine you go up to you carry the one guy up train four

You get up to the second level and you see what looks to be like a little guest bedroom It I know it's a guest bedroom. It's fitted with a bunch of summer court regalia, but it doesn't have much personality Oh wait, it feels like generic Banners there's a small desk a closet a large bed Is there one of those books that you can like sign when you stay over? Yeah, there's a little log book Shit and you see a window, but you do see a door into another hall, which is open. And you see a few dudes walking around in there, but you don't see any more guards in this room immediately.

OK, y'all, it's a guest bedroom. It's a guest bedroom. You can tell there's a bunch of decorative hand soaps. Are there enough towels? Sometimes, yeah. There's a towel of every single size. Oh my gosh. Everyone in the world uses but one size of towel

But they've left out every side that's so hospitable. I know I'm handing a face towel Christ that's a guest bedroom fire. Okay Do you want me to continue or should y'all start your missions because you might be able to distract people? Yeah, I think you you keep looking keep looking and I'll start the distraction. Yeah, just get ready to toot if need be. Okay, so moonshine. Always ready to toot. So while I'll say tooth and scoot,

while hard ones coming up out of the basement now dressed as a chosen guard. I look like a fucking waiter. What's your chosen name? Oh, Thad. Brother Thad, brother Thad he is. Hard one's all outfitted. He's got the- I left Paw Paw with him to curl his hair. So Paw Blondie curl his hair.

You've got like chain mail on with like a white tabored with a gold sword and you've got one of those like real dorky skullcaps that comes like over your nose, which is very helpful for being in disguise, but you look real stupid. Yeah, I should feel stupid. My Python ass-looking-oo. Ha-ha-ha. Uh, so-

I hope you don't see anyone you know. I'll say hard, hard one while you're doing that. Don't look at me, Mochad. Mochad, what are you doing with this body that you have? Um, I'm going to tuck them in in the guest bed. You're going to put them, just put them in the bed. Wait, no, if there's a lot of them. If there's a, if there's a chest. There's closets, there's chest.

Okay, I'll do a closet. Okay, okay, you show them in the closet. I want to, I want to hang them up in the closet. Okay. I'll put a hanger in there. It put them in the complimentary bathroom. Yeah. I'm going to say as you go down to get the other guy,

I'm going to need you to roll a D20 to see whether or not another guard comes up the stairs or comes into that room. Oh, Laura, Rosalene, you are getting some. You've got to get a 10 or higher. You're getting sated today. 15. 15. You're good.

You're able to grab that guy. You go to shove this guy in the closet. You put him in the closet. Another two guys walk into that room with you, but you're able to tuck back and close the closet and you hide in there for the moment. With two dead guys. It's so good.

Oh, you know what? I am afraid of death. I stare, I stare the face of death straight on and I say hello, old friend. You just see a death guy just like a 25 year old blonde man just looking at you directly that you like tore out his innards. Let's talk and even then I remember death. Yeah you see a Theala pamphlet falls out of his uh I fully

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Okay, that's it for me, go team pants, and enjoy the show. Hard one. So you are down in this basement. You are dressed up like this chosen soldier. You're coming up out of the basement. What are you doing? We're going with milk distraction. Yeah, milky dance. Okay. We did. Brothers. You are going to the third room. I'm going to roll to see. First up, roll a D20 to see if an angel is in there. Can we say that?

Can we say that we also put a little ruse on his cheeks? Yeah. I look like raggedy Andy. I think we should go. So cherubic and innocent. Okay. Goddamn it, roll the two. Here on the two.

Okay, shout out. The ruse is like staining your beard. Okay, so hard one. You come out, you see that there are nine foot soldiers in here, nine foot soldiers in here, and it's two angels. Oh, good lord. They're like going through everything.

And you come out and say what? Brothers, Thiela has blessed us. This task was filled with milk. Oh my god. Go ahead and give me a deception check. A silky drink that makes me pranxist time to do the milky dance. Come and have a taste, but you'll have to catch me first, brothers. With my mod, that's 18. 18.

Very poor sports, I say. He would have to feel like a hard one's a little too good at this. Shut up. I can't believe you got me 18 with that. Okay. So, as soon as you yell that, a bunch of the guards perk up and go, truly the god is just good!

And runs over towards you in the barrel. And one of the angels is eyeing you suspiciously, but one of them goes over there. Give me some of that milk there, son. You have to catch me, brother. I start doing a milky dance with cash. Give me some of that milk there, son. You have to catch me, brother. I start doing a milky dance with Cass. I'm the hoppin' back on.

I'm the hoppin' back on. I'm the hoppin' back on. I'm the hoppin' back on. I'm the hoppin' back on. I'm the hoppin' back on. I'm the hoppin' back on. I'm the hoppin' back on. I'm the hoppin' back on.

I'm the hoppin' back on. I'm the hoppin' back on. I'm the hoppin' back on. I'm the hoppin' back on. I'm the hoppin' back on. I'm the hoppin' back on. I'm the hoppin' back on. I'm the hoppin' back on. I'm the hoppin' back on. I'm the hoppin' back on. You're trying to run away from an angel while carrying a barrel. Brisbane is in here. Let's have some fun, brethren. With disadvantage, it's a 17. A 17.

Wow. You are able to, you kind of like only poked your head into the throne room with this barrel. You start running back towards like that bottom left room with the basement stairs. The angels like wings are all the way out. It's flying towards you. It's like struggling to get through the doorway. It has to like pull its wings in.

And you're able to run back into this room. What are you doing? All of these guards are running excitedly towards you. Are you leading them into the basement? Shut the, shut the barrel. Right, like out the window? Yeah, or something like that? I'll shut the barrel out the window and die after it. I want it.

I want it. I know, I don't think this is going to be a problem, but I think you need to keep this up for as long as you can You say that you have milk from these guys Do a pretty good job convincing them you sound super dorky They run towards you you grab the barrel run back into the room you just came from throw it out the window This angel just watches as you dive out this window like into the boat with a barrel. Cover a swim with the milk brothers.

And you hear the other angel from inside going, he's up to something. I don't recognize him. And you hear it like some people running in. Okay, yeah, if that angel's coming into the room, I'm gonna, there's all of them are coming in. So you were in this little room in the bottom left corner that has the stairs to the basement. Valnor and Bev and Bev Senior are still in the basement.

Hard one just jumped out the window with a barrel pretending that it was full of milk. And these chosen guards are all chasing you. Some of them are like, he's my best out in go. He's good. I'll just let him, the goddess is good. Yeah, okay goddess is great Kalukalai the goddess is great He's one of the angels are just smacking these guys on the head who is that? Why do you do it the milk if that's milk? What's he doing?

They're all just like piling out the window after you I mean how bad what are you doing? I'm gonna sneak out of the room towards Sarilla. Okay, so these guys fully all start jumping out the window going after you, hard one. I'm gonna just roll the barrel around the castle yard. A year? A year and being merry. Okay, Bev, go ahead and make a stealth check. Hit the butter, come get the other. Bev, Bev, you sneak up the stairs.

You see two angels and these nine guys have chased hard one out. I'll say that, I'll punch Bev. Keep giving me rhymes. I'll say a bunch. I got one. Kaplam Kaplow. Milka, I mean, fruit of the cow.

Kaplam Kaplow. Kaplam Kaplow. The milk of the cow. Fruit is brother. Yes brother. Stay in it. Stay in the song of our people. Ka-la-ka-lam, ka-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la- the juice of white. Babe, you see through the windows and stuff, you see that some of the guys run around the front, there's more of a commotion going on outside now. A few of the guys are so excited. They full on, jumped out the window after hard one.

And you sneak up these stairs, I'm gonna still roll to see if there's still some guys there. Okay, there is but one guy. Oh, in the actual throne room, but there's gonna be people in other rooms. Okay, great. So I'm gonna say your dad and Balnor will come with you. Yeah, okay.

Halfling crew rolling out. Okay, sweet. Yeah. I'm gonna make stealth checks. I still have a password at Trace Zone, right? Yeah, oh, 23. 23, great. Balnor and your dad also get over 20.

This guy does not have very good perception I roll to see if an angel happens to come down at that moment and angel does not so you guys are able to sneak in There are very few guys there is a commotion going outside It seems like hard wasn't gonna be in trouble in a minute But for now there's not that many guys in the throne room you here you do hear people upstairs I got I got another one for you sk Skeet, skeet, we are blessed by the teeth. Yeah, skeet, skeet, we're blessed by the teeth. Yes, sir.

Drink the goddess's milk. Say that you drink the goddess's milk, sir. I'll take a big sip from the... You immediately get red-wired mouth So beven the dads you guys are Successfully able to sneak into the throne room without being spotted and approach the garden and the topiary that marks the resting place of the old queen You hide behind the throne itself So any of the chosen that are coming in from outside or through like the main gate won't be able to see you easily

And you see as kind of like a wink wink as you guys approach some leaves pull back a bit from the topiary queen's hand revealing Cyrilla's blue skin underneath. She's indeed hiding here presumably being protected by the spirit of her mother We I look at my dad and like see if he nods for us to approach. He nods. Yeah. We slowly approach and head towards the queen. Give me, I'm gonna do one more roll, see if anybody else comes in. You do see at the other end of the room, one angel does come down and plop down in the main entrance and start walking into this main throne room.

Go ahead and give me one more stealth check. Okay. As you are you taking the queen now, like sneaking up behind her and kind of trying to like pull her out. Yeah, I think now is the time. But before I do that, when my ilk do have a whim, we drink so deep the milk of skim.

I sing, I sing song that. I sing song that. I'm saying for the audience at home that all of this is happening at the same time. Hard one is not getting away with this for like minutes upon minutes. This is all in like 10 seconds. But he keeps getting these fire verses. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's saying this all one after another. That's satan and silk is my mother's milk.

Satan and silk is my mother's milk. Yes, they're. Lestan y'all look. I got a 22 with a plus 10. A 22, okay, perception check from this angel. What a dream it may seem to sip from this cream. I want to spit. I'm going to spit. Bev, you're able to, you see an angel comes in.

You see, Balnor and your dad kind of like tense up but are like kneeling next to the little stage platform that the throne is on. You walk up, you're like fucking Bilbo sneaking up on Smalg. Smalg? You see, you saw before that there were like vines coming up and like attacking the chosen as they came near

But you see the plants do not react as like you step on them. So you're able to sneak up behind them I hold out the pendant And I speak any words I know in Sylvan towards the Queen sweet Say just say what you want to say and I'll say you know like a normal little phrases. I say surrealists. It's time for us to leave It's time to go your sorrow is deep, but we can't we must prevent more sorrow You see a little vine comes out from the plant sculptures arm And kind of like almost gives you a handshake like wraps around your wrist like, like, you take care of her now. Oh, okay, so I'm speaking to the entity,

I'm speaking to like a protective presence now. Do I know what this is? You get that feeling, you get the feeling that this is like her mom, this is like her resting place. Oh. And then you see the back of the throne, which also was built, it looks like it's built of like roots. So you've got her, that's this like plant sculpture,

that's like all green with this sunflower crown, and you see behind it is all these roots. You see the roots begin to part, and as this angel's entering from the front, to him, it looks no different, but out the back, you see Cerilla begins to emerge through these roots through which she was protected. In Sylvan, I say, trust me,

I'm a boy who listens to his mother. The vines tussle your hair. And you see Cerilla, she wears this long dress of deep blue with white sea-through sleeves. Her skin is light blue. She has a necklace of white gold sunbursts that are frozen and look like snowflakes. Her once golden hair is now dark blue and on her head is a white gold crown that like the necklace looks more like a snowflake with the curse than a sunburst.

And she's essentially catatonic. She's just like not moving. And you see the back of the throne that is like these roots extends the roots out and places her in your arms. She's taller than you, but not much taller than you, and very, very slight. She able to carry her. Is she registering this? She's like sleeping beauty, she's like out.

Okay, I kind of signal to Belnor and my dad. Yeah, they're both like eyes like wide. Yeah. And I think we kind of like maybe all, you know, like a stretcher, we form like an impromptu stretcher for her. And we all start kind of like marching towards the bedroom. Great, so you guys all start going up in the direction

that Moonshine just wants to see. Can I make like a magic check to see if we can get some like vine cover as we move I you see When you ask that you see like a couple little vines Come up out of the garden. They're kind of just like flickering. Yeah, they look like they're like a little spike growth or something like Yeah, you know hinder their movement. Oh, that's good. Yeah, like a little trap. All right cool with that place We start making our way cool. You guys are making your way. Tell her to let hard one through though. Oh, yeah. I guess I just telepathically give her an image of hard one in that armor. I think she knows the difference between who's who. Oh, she'll

know. Yeah. He has tasted wine. So yeah, he'll be the one who stinks of wine. So these songs are of milk. These breathes of wine. I'm going to say that hard one situation was so fast that this is unfolding faster than moonshine. So we're actually going to cut back to hard one. So hard one, the jig is up. These guys have straight up caught up to you.

You can kind of tell me what you do because the angels are a little bit smarter than the guards. There were nine guards following you. I'll say five of them jumped out the window with you. And you see four of them and two angels like rounding the corner coming for you in like this castle courtyard. All right, and they are not playing the game anymore.

Some of them are playing the game that one of the angels is like, stop it, you fools. Who are you? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Um, who are you, brother? Gather around now, boys. Uh, we're feeling fine.

Come and have a sip of wine. Ah! Ah! Ah! I smashed the barrel with my hammer. Oh, he said, uh, it explodes red wine. And they go, oh, there was no milk. I'm not about to burn.

I blow the horn. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. and start running out. Hard one, you immediately see ghost pirates begin to surround you.

Go ahead and roll 2D4s. My ghost brethren. Four. Oh my god, I hope they adopt Terence. Yes. He becomes a little pirate. So the cabin girl. Dude, you have nine ghost pirate berserkers

That appear that appear around you what say you are we were in pirate hell We didn't get to plunder anything. Oh now you could plunder these mother fuckers all the long day boys It's an abomination of the light plunder the pious plunder the pious And are you staying in fighting or are you fucking cheesein' it? Um... I-I'm gonna cheese it, but I don't wanna leave my men high in the eye. Get a-get a cheap shot in and then cheese it. Yeah, I'm gonna, uh, just quickly...

With some remnants of barrel fill all these guys like goblets with with some lines. You guys right to the blood of the guys. You're you're but save this motherfucker for me and I swing my hammer at Hector as I was. Sweet go ahead and roll initiative. Even Hector. 10. So the angels go first there are two of them. They're gonna come in and swing down on hard one in his chosen armor Protect me by the There be angels First guy misses on his on his first attack Hits on his second attack. Is there a tiny little ghost parrot on one of their shoulders?

Yes, certainly. Gotta be. I had a bird once as well. He actually is cockaw. Really? It looks, it looks, it looks shockingly like cockaw. It's, uh, kind of a shame. I know time passes differently in the fair wild.

You had a long, rich, happy life, I'm sure. Ah! Passes differently in the fair wild you had a long rich happy life. I'm sure 24 damage on the first hit or rather that was his second hit other angel goes It's on his first attack 21 damage Takes a second attack not one misses on a second attack then not one, misses on a second attack. Then these berserkers go. These berserkers, I'm gonna say, there were nine guards, nine berserkers, you see those guys just start going toe-to-toe. I won't do all the nasty of rolling in their stuff.

You just got these angels on you. Part of that's your turn. Can you just describe how they're fighting, though? I just wanna know how much damage they do. One runs forward, he has a great axe, and he hits one of these guards. They do a reckless attack, so it means they like drain their bank account.

And just 12 damage, and this ghost cleaves through. Yeah, bitch. Okay, thank you for that. I just wanted the theater. Just see that, so these, these berserkers seem like they will be able to pretty handily handle these guards here, but you have caused a huge ruckus. You do see more angels coming down out of the sky,

hard one that's your turn. I will take a full disengage. Ha ha ha ha. Yes, brother, we all fight. What? Oh, turn your. There's more of these guys inside and I'll take them on myself.

Ha ha ha ha. You're so brave, Captain. Yoho! Yoho! That a boy, tooth and scoot. Ah, I get it, there, Captain's inside. I'm wiping the rouge from my cheeks. I'm very, very, very, very hungry.

I've got his own hard one, split, then split. This episode, he dude it and scooted. So the ghosts are actually a lot better than the footmen. So the ghosts are starting to overtake the footmen. So I'll say as you run away, the angels turn their attention and start fighting the ghosts. So you beat feet towards the castle, back towards the tower with the window that you jumped out of.

You hop back in that window and inside you see one footman. There's one footman there who looks kind of shocked as you hop in the window. Teaball that head. Yeah, I'll swing my head. Go ahead and roll the advantage. I crit on him. Oh, Mike, he's dead.

Oh, Mike, he can't not be dead. You, I'm just running, swing, smash. He's totally brained instantly. He doesn't even see a comment. Can we say that one was hector? So hard one. You charge into the main hall, you've got this one angel that Bev had seen

as he was rescuing Queen Serilla. It's actually going to take swings that you real quick as you rush past. It misses on both attacks. You keep running. Meanwhile, Bev, you have heard the horn and you and the halflings are booking it for the tower that moonshine climbed.

Hard one, you converge with them as you pass the throne and head for the tower. You do see that several footmen have come out from the various rooms to charge at you. However, you see vines shooting out from the old Queen's garden and entangling them in roots. The angel is also temporarily slowed but looks like he might break out quicker than the rest.

Meanwhile, moonshine, you're up hiding in this closet. You hear footmen from the second floor are rushing through this guest room and down the stairs to the tower to the area that you climbed up where you can assume your friends are coming up. Okay, I would like to sneak up on them. Okay, sweet.

So moonshine is sneaking up behind them as they run down the tower. So you guys all converge. The halflings and hard one at the bottom, chosen foot soldiers in the middle and Moon Shine in the back. I'm going to roll a D20 for how many guards there are. I got an 11.

You guys can get surprised rounds. You guys can get one attack. Just full court press. Full court press. I'll say Bev Senior takes Queen Cerilla so that you can take a swing. Oh, great. That swing. Oh great. So we're on the stairway right now Yeah, so you guys are climbing up the stairs. I go into a rage. I Got two net 20s

Fuck I get two charges on Rosalene. Yeah, that's Moonshine yeah, go ahead and do your crit damage You're gonna sick. You're gonna kill so many fucking dudes Sweet pea I Put my Hammer back behind my back 41

Plus six plus six you Cleve through four dudes. You guys, you guys are running up. Can I make a Rosalene kebab? Yeah, you fully killed four dudes, it's fucking insane. Yeah, I got some Tandori chosen. I hope. I will say hard one as you're running in.

It's very gross. The angel that came and was kind of like clocking Bev is also chasing you guys up behind, but he's behind you You guys are going up these stairs. I'll say hard one you go next because of decks Okay, so there's seven guys seven. I'll swing try and keep up I precedent I will swing at the nearest guy that saw moonshine kebab all the church There is no goddess

Bob all the chips. There is no goddess. I was promised Mill. I was promised Mill. I really hate to follow that act. I got a 23. Still great. Very nice. Fuck you guys.

Can we try and convert the guy who was scared? 20 damage. You fully kill one and you very badly hurt another one. Bev, go ahead and take swings. Okay, I got a second one. Yes, you do. Go ahead. Cool. Yeah.

28. Super hits. Yeah, you guys are in this tower now. Just fight in dudes as you climb the tower. Very good. 15 damage. Yeah, you fully kill this guy who's super hurt and kill another one. There are five guys left.

All right, I'm definitely running along hard ones back and then launching myself right into the fray. Okay, so we say I was hitting my guys on the hammer onto the kebab. Yeah. Oh, real road spike. Oh, Rose, lean. I've been working on this.

We're working on it. We're working on it. Thank, thank, thank, thank. All right, here we go. Wait, how many are on the kebab right now? We got six. Yeah. There's are in the kebab right now? We got six. Oh, it's yeah. There's more on the kebab than not.

We're gonna need a second kebab. 19 hits. That's 13 damage on my first hit. Sweet, a fully kill another one. Okay, 14. 14 does not hit. Okay. Blocks it.

We got seven on the kebab. I'm just four left. Bound or goes that one. What other name Bob? Ha ha ha. Bound or hits on the first attack and kills one. Takes a second attack. It's on the second attack.

It's all using a sword or is gun right now. Ha ha ha. Cheesy. Gladly shooting I think it's easy. Gladly shooting it to it. Christ. What? That was right in my ear. Y'all back the wrong side.

It's just so brutal. The wrong side. You can get the house. I'm the hound. Big dog. Big dog right here. It's a little dog. I love balagore.

Stay off the dang board. Alagor. And you, the guards also now see that these guys are terrified. These guys just saw all of this. They're screaming about they're being queen, Sarilla. There is an angel behind them that's gonna go on the next turn. But everybody go ahead and roll initiative now. Ooh, 20, 18.

8, 8, 8, a cabal board. The chair was in it. Mm, yum, yum, yum, yum, 18. Eight, SNI, eight, a cabab or a cheese. Mm, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. Don't actually eat that. Oh, but they're so crazy. Just a milky. There's only seven guys on the cabab. It would be like a chosen quarma. What up in a bob?

Okay, ma'am, you're first, right? Angels behind us, you know I. Okay, ma'am, you're first. Okay, ma'am, you're first. Okay, ma'am, you're first. Okay, ma'am, you're first. Okay, ma'am, you're first. Okay, ma'am, you're first. Okay, ma'am, you're first. Okay, ma'am, you're first. Okay, ma'am, you're first. Okay, ma'am, you're first.

Okay, ma'am, you're first. Okay, ma'am, you're first. Okay, ma'am, you're first. Okay, ma'am, you're first. Okay, ma'am, you're first. Okay, ma'am, you're first. Okay, ma'am, you're first. Okay, ma'am, you're first.

Okay, ma'am, you're first. Okay, ma'am, you're first. Okay, ma'am, you're first. Okay, ma'am, you're first. Okay, ma'am, you're first. Okay, ma'am, you're first. Okay, ma'am, you're first. Okay, ma'am, you're first. Okay, ma little salad that you can put the kebab on. Yeah, you're right too much kebab But this is we have enough kebab so much talk of food and so much lying about milk Well, what are you doing brother? They look a hard one with his little curly hair and

How could you betray the goddess I'm quick nodding my hair back up you the purest boy of all I'm gonna show you the goddess. I'm crick nodding my hair back up. You the purest boy of all. I'm not your brother. I'm not your brother. I'm not your brother. I'm not your brother. I'm not your brother.

I'm not your brother. I'm not your brother. I'm not your brother. I'm not your brother. I'm not your brother. I'm not your brother. I'm not your brother. I'm not your brother.

I'm not your brother. I'm not your brother. I'm not your brother. I'm not your brother. I'm not your brother. I'm not your brother. I'm not your brother. I'm not your brother. I'm not your brother. I'm not your brother. I'm yeah, that is. To hit. Ooh. All right, 15, damage.

Yeah, you kill one that was very hurt from Valnor and you actually fully kill another one and there is one left. Yeah. Oh, the left. So, is it, and this is hard to start. Oh, great, I thought it was that guy's turn. Hard one, make him eat the entire kebab.

Great idea, babe. Brother, how can you do this to us? Don't give him any milk to wash it down. Brother Thaddeus, I'm not your brother, I'm not Thaddeus, that's 22 days. But you have the courleys hair of all of us. How could someone who has such a bouncy girls in a love of milk betrayed the chose?

I seized his sword and used it to sheer my ass. Just kidding, I would never. 16. 16 kills him. You see one angel flies into the tower behind you, clocks queen, Serella and he goes, they have her, they have the queen, they found the queen. And is gonna take swings at hard one. I think we wanna just retreat.

Yeah, up the stairs. At this point, yeah, right. Yeah, up the stairs. At this point, yeah, right. Brother, how could you? Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha They're strong. You got a couple half-lands that can carry you. That's good. That might not be. 35 damage. You good. I am down, but. Are you down?

No, I'm just good. Takes a second attack. Of course. Hits. Stay milky-bud. 17 damage. Cool. Hard one, stay standing.

We up? Yes. That is Moonshine's turn. OK, we're retreatinging right? I'm not bailing anyone if I you know what? I'm actually going to come out of a rage and healing word hard one And then what do you say to me? I say Hector Man that breathes so much fury back into my body

Oh man, that breathes so much fury back into my body. Yeah, I'm gonna do like a level, I have one fourth level, so I'm gonna do a fourth level healing word. Sweet. So I hit you for 18. Gracias. And then I think I'm just, I'm booking it. Okay. Moontine, you see, well you guys were down fighting, um, Tarrith kind of scouted ahead.

You see, as you run back up into this guest room that you are in, you see she faces through the wall and she gives you a panic look and makes like, uh, an angel, uh, sign, um, but she points back like she knows where, uh, to go. Uh, I'm just gonna say, ever on, there's an angel so we're treat with me and be prepared to fight another angel. Yep figure that was gonna happen sweet I'm gonna go ahead and roll a D4 moon shine you exit this you disengage you run out through this guest room you follow Tariff out into this little hallway you see this main door that looks to be to the

Queens chambers you see the doors, these giant oak doors, but you see in the hallway, there are, I'm gonna roll a D4, see how many angels there are. I'm gonna roll in front of Jake, so nobody thinks I'm a liar. Two. Two, two. Two more angels up there in that hallway,

they're screaming, everybody's screaming, people outside are going crazy, you guys hear people downstairs. That is back around a Bev's turn. Okay. But you all saw where I was going, right? Yeah.

Okay. And we're a poor sport, so we can like follow your voice. Yeah, I just want to make sure that. Is there a door at the top of the stairs? It's open, yeah. Yeah, okay. So what's real through? I'm making a clear passage for you guys.

Yeah, just have an angel behind you that was attacking hard one Your dad's got Queen Cyrillie. He's kind of acting on your turn just running with you I think I'm gonna like issue Belnor and My dad through I'm gonna be waiting for hard ones so that we can barricade the door once he's through Sweet, okay, I know how to hold the door and Mike can I like you know what? I'm gonna read in action at the top of the door to like try and slice this angel and like push it back so we can barricade. Okay, Bev, so you're not gonna take a full disengage,

but you're not running as far anyway. So Bev goes up, I'm gonna say Balnor and your dad, we're all acting with you, so they'll just go on your turn. So Bev, Balnor and Bev, senior, run up the stairs with Bev, kind of go on either side of the doorway So bev, Balnor, and bev senior, run up the stairs with bev. Kind of go on either side of the doorway

and wait for a hard one and the angel to come through. Yeah, we wanna try and like smack the angel in the face right when a hard one gets through. Dope, that is. Oh, that's gonna be nice. Hard one, hard one's starting. Really mess up its nose. I'm gonna keep on helping up the stairs.

Can I do two things? One, look at Bev's amulet. First off, are you gonna disengage? Yes. Okay, so you disengage, so you don't have to take an attack, so you like jump back as this angel swings at you. You were my brother. It was false milk.

It wasn't true milk brother. I am your foe. So what would you like to do? I would like to run up the stairs, looking at Beverly's amulet and crop dusting the angel. Okay. You fart, you crop dust the angel.

You sick. If you had had more milk, that would have been a better fart. Yeah, you toot as you run up the stairs. Looking like this complete one. That's the fun here. Toot N enscune. Toot and enscune.

Toot and enscune. Bev, you're waiting on either side of the door. You see out in the hallway where moonshine is, two angels fly past the doorway, following moonshine, and the ghost girl into the main room. Hard one runs in, hard one as soon as you run in. Bev, senior, tosses you Queen Serilla, and he takes out his sword.

Lateral. And hard one using the disengage, you're able to get a little bit further into the guest room. This angel is going to enter the room. The Halflings fucking descend on him. Go ahead and roll with advantage, because he's surprised. Yeah, yeah. The Halflings everywhere. Whoa, whoa, whoa, holding a queen. fucking descend on him uh go ahead and roll with advantage because he's surprised yeah

uh uh uh the halflings everywhere whoa whoa holding a queen ooh watch your butt we are butt level and we are ready to mess it up where'd you learn to talk like that then it's been a month it's been a wild month dad it's been a wild 25 years bud oh boy oh boy oh sweet pea oh sweet pea oh I love you, I love you boy. Oh sweet FAPE.

16, 16 hits. Oh wait, 16 does not hit, sorry. We deal with angels now. Oh wait, they did it. She had to do that. There we go. 26, 26 super hits. 11 on the first hit cool

That my friends is a natural 20 I'm gonna third level smite on him. Yeah. Oh my lord Dad, you know how you always wanted me to play baseball when I was younger Yeah, time for a freaking home run, Pop. Ha ha ha. Take him out to the ball game, son. Ha ha ha. Oh, all ones. Ha ha ha ha.

Here we go. That's 63 damage. Ben, you kill this angel. And one insane holy spider. I believe, below. You see, Bev Sr. and Balnor were also swinging down, but they just swing down into this explosion of light and this angel being rendered a sunder by the true God.

I like to think that I stab them and his wings just disintegrate. They're just gone. Just a normal dude again. Do angels go to hell? You don't know what happens to these guys I stab them and his wings just disintegrate. They're just gone. Yeah. Just a normal dude again. Do angels go to hell? You don't know what happens to these guys, because they don't have, you know, the same goddess here.

Let's book our thought and ask some of them. They go to pirates. They go to Pirate Hell. So moonshine, meanwhile, you are racing off into the master bedroom, the Queen's bedroom. You see there's an enormous bed with orange and gold sheets, a headboard of finished wood. There's a large bay window that looks out into the courtyard in the back, letting sunshine in. You see a bunch of mirrors and a vanity. There's a lot of paintings of the Queen like of herself. She seems pretty vain. And of like her daughters, of like Cyrilla, and there's another girl, but mostly of herself. You see that there's another door in there,

but as you run in there, there are two angels behind you and it is their turn. They're going to swoop in and swing on ya. Do they know that my AC is 19? They do. One of them. Shit, they know. 23 damage on the first, from the first guy.

Second guy takes two swings. Misses both times. I'm going to go ahead and roll and see if an angel bursts in through the window, because there's a big window there. I'm going to roll in front a hard one here. I'll say one through ten that happens. 14, no angel outside. Yeah.

Okay, so the angels have just gone and Angel does not come in through the window. Moonshine, that is your turn. So I just wanna look for this, for this. Okay, yeah, you see that there is another door and you see that tariff, the little ghost girl, signals for you to like go through the door. Okay, then I guess I wanna pave the way,

so I don't wanna go there yet. Then, you know, I'll go fungal form. That takes an action. I'll go fungal form and I'll spore is one of these angels for 12. Sweet, okay. You, and then I get a bunch of hit points too. Spit in the face of an angel.

You, I will let you kick open this door as like a free action. You're getting like backed up against the wall by these angels who are going at you. You turn into a fungopharm, you spit spores at them, you turn around, you kick open this door. You see this other room looks like this weird hobby room full of paintings. There's like an easel and various like dried out jars of paint

on it's just lined with paintings of like landscape portraits. That is back around to the Half-Links, Bevin Crew. All right, I wanna run towards the angels. I am gonna clock how big the bed is when I'm in that room. It's a big bed. Ooh, what could it have been? Ha ha ha. I am going to run towards the bed, jump off of it, and try and launch from the bed onto an angel

to stab them in the back. Yeah. Go ahead and make an attack with advantage. OK. 16? Does not hit. Ooh, OK, let me do another one. Yep.

There we go. 21 hits. 22. Great. OK, that's just 12 damage. Respectable, but hits. 22, great. Okay, that's just 12 damage, respectable but a normal amount of damage. You see the other halflings charge in behind you. You see Boundor actually, as they're running by a hard one,

you do see the halflings motor past you, hard one. You're wearing this big awkward chosen armor and you're carrying Cirilla. Boundor holds his hands out like to take Cerilla. I give him Cerilla so fast. And then you begin to be able to keep pace with Boundor. But you see Boundor is like really given it as all to try to beat you in a race.

You guys are both racing down the hall. But you see Bev Sr. is, face stepping down the hall. And he gets up behind these angels, and he actually takes, yes, he takes two attacks. You gotta teach me how to do that, Pop. I'll show you something, it just takes 25 years. Ha ha ha.

I bet I could do it in 27. Jesus, he does 25 damage on his first attack. He's gonna take a second attack, fucking hits, and he kills this angel. You guys all together are able to kill this one angel, and there's one left. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, total, it's fucking morifying.

Horrifying, yeah, the half-linger. He's a Tom's, by two-linger, fucking, our fucking stars right now. You see, I'm gonna say, Valner's able to take a full dash action, because all he did was a minor action of taking Cyrilla, so he runs in with you into the painting room moon shine and he goes

just looking around at everything and that is my turn I'll help you investigate that is hard ones turn all right everybody's killing angels in one shot how about all hard one watch this I Did Chris nice That's a 19 already 38 damage 38 damage yeah, fuck them up pretty hurt part one. Oh wait. I got a second attack go for it You would need to do you'll need to do a lot of damage. God damn it. You got this. Watch this. Didn't you kill him with what? 60 something? Well, it was, yeah.

Bev did an insane crit with Divine Smites. Bev senior only killed it in one round of attacks because Bev had hit it and he was trying to hit it. So he didn't own one instant. They have 68 HP, not 69, because that would be wrong. 24. 24 hit that hits. 17 damage. Right fucked up. That's cool. Oh, you know what? I'll take my action search. I really want this. 26.

Targon kill an angel. We're all getting baseball jackets that say that. 13 damage. Tarte won kill an angel. We're all getting baseball jackets that say that. 13 damage. Hard one finished just angel. Yeah! Yeah! Angel Slayer's club. I don't know if I killed an angel. So don't make it too much of an exciting club. Don't make it too much of an exciting club.

Don't get jackets. We'll get jackets, but they won't say anything. They'll just be cool team jackets. Okay, go wish you good jackets anyway. I'll do it tandem with moonshine. I'm in the puzzle room. Jack is but they won't say anything they'll just be cool team Jack. Okay, who is you good Jackets anyway? I'll do it tandem with moonshine. Yeah, I'm in the puzzle room. Oh, yeah, I'll let you right back down do it It's okay. I'm right now. It's all killing angel Great if you throw your sword in the air. I'll hit my hammer Moonshine, we're committing sacrilege get in here.. Okay, I just peeked my head out and tossed my sword. I know the drill.

Hope it. I smacked the sword into the angel's face. You guys double team, kill this angel. Yeah, he dies. You guys hear more people running from downstairs, and you guys are in this room that is full of paintings. We should close these doors. Yeah, we should close the door,

barricade the door, and then I think I'm just gonna like talk to every painting. I'll say, wait, I'll say a hard one and Bev Senior can barricade the door with athletics checks. You guys are just like breaking down the easels and like all the sense. Can I do a history check?

Since it's art? Yeah. So you guys see lining the walls. I it stands. Can I do a history check? Since it's art? Yeah. So you guys see lining the walls. It's 28 on my athletics check. Yeah. You're able to, you pull down a bunch of these paintings, these like beautiful works of art, throw them down in front of the door.

Oh, I do know such thing. Ha ha ha. That senior does it. My guy does it. You guys are able to, no, to jam up the door. thing. Ben Senior doesn't, my guy doesn't. You guys are able to, no, to jam up the door. You see there's like a little, there's a little like a few chairs there for her to sit down and everything.

You jam them up against the door. You begin to hear guys banging from the outside, but inside moonshine and Bev as you're looking at all the paintings, you see that they're mostly landscape portraits. You see lots of ones of summer that are like summer flowers and rolling hills, but there are a few like majestic creatures, like Pegasus and unicorns and stuff like that. And then there are also some like gloomy ones of winter

and there's one of autumn with like trees with orange and yellow leaves. Y'all, where are we trying to go? Because I think we're able to step into these paintings. I think it's more 64 rules for sure. Yeah. Are we trying to go to autumn? We are trying to go? Because I think we're able to step into these paintings. I think it's more of 64 rules for sure. Yeah. Are we trying to go to autumn? We are trying to go to autumn, right?

Yeah. Autumn is where the free start is, right? I just try to enter the autumn. Yeah. Go ahead and give me a perception check. And tell me what you do. 15? 15, okay, some moonshine.

You try to mario 64 into the painting. You do a running start. You go to jump into the painting. And you see running start, you go to jump into the painting, and you see the little ghost girl gives thumbs up, and Tarrath goes through it, and she's fine, and you crash into the painting. Super hard. You take, no, you take four damage

as you ran your head into this painting, but it does not fall down. And everybody else go ahead and give me a perception check, or at least Bev. Bev and Bev. No. That's a natural 20. Natural 20.

You saw it open a little bit. It's almost like a cabinet, like a little door, when Moonshine ran into it. Ha ha ha. You have to pull it, you have to pull it. Wait, the person, I'm just eating itself, or there's a cabinet behind the painting. The painting itself is like a door.

You can pull it like a door. I don't see this, so I just try to self-reversed cabinet behind the painting the painting itself is like a bullet like a door I don't see this so I just try to jump into it again I'm as a concussion that this one she keeps ramming her head for you. I think I'm gonna get it next time Moonshine no, it's I'm like just trying to you got this moonshine I let moonshine Moonshine okay, you get ahead come on Get a running start. I didn't leave my head last time. This is fun. I see an angel's fist bursts through the door.

Okay, okay, we open it. I let Moonshine get a running start and right as she's about to wrap her head again, I swing the door wide open. Swing the door open, you see the little ghost girls in there? Moonshine has the bow with her, it goes in the transporter. Moonshine disappears.

I go, go. You see, I'm a bound or jumps in with Queen Serilla, Bev's dad's like, wait, and come on, come on. I bite the angel's hand and I run in. He bite the angel's hand. Oh, oh, and you see he does. We could have been brothers. We were brothers.

You see he sticks his face in the shining style and he goes, even if you get away now, the sniffers will find you you I hit him with the hammer fully break his nose I'm not how you totally deceived these guys, but they still think that you were actually one of the brothers They saw potential They know like they never put two and two together that you were pretending I live my life in the light and then I realized today that you guys were a bunch of fucking dwee

Hard one to smash this guy in the face. You see more guys start barreling into the door. I'm running I'm running okay, you run you hop through the transport I jackknife through you jackknife through and Beverly senior follows and That's where we'll end our session Beverly senior makes it through the portal It's what you said yes, okay, all right. I thought you were setting up a weird cliffhanger Woo, that was a chunky one. I think I can I think I can accurately say was a thick soda That was a thick so that's such a thick so that was such a thick so that could be

To so if anybody thinks that was a chode, so they can fucking, don't even, don't even have me find me. Yeah, very funny. Yeah, very funny. Come find me. In the Feywild. Oh, ha ha.

The level of shenanigans that that started with with the milk and with the nudie mag. I was afraid we weren't gonna get to the point where like people were getting chased by angels, but we did and I'm glad we got there. You know, we always got a little bit of something for everybody. Hey, let's talk about it on the short rest. Let's talk it on the thick rest.

I believe it for the short rest. Short thick rest. The chowd-mode. Yeah. The thick rest. I'm going to chowd-mode on the short rest. I'm going to chowd-mode. That's where we strode into the chowd-mode. I'm going to Chodemode on the short-ass

That's where we strode into the Chodemode. I feel like I feel like when a hard one when hard one goes like and Barricade's the door he's going into Chodemode No neck on that boy. So yeah guys. Thank you so much for listening Listen to the short rest over on patreon.com slash nad pod. That's n-a-d-d-p-o-d. Don't sing. Yeah. We're not singing yet. Y'all, we got some things to plug.

Guys, watch hot data Netflix. It's me and I'm going to get a show. That is so hot and so fun. Still got that. We're going to come season two. Yeah. Shooting that soon. Guys, we got Hey You Up.

How to turn your booty call into your emergency contact. That's our satirical relationship advice book. Get that on Amazon or on Audible. Call the way to get the plug. Ooh, go check out Cartoon Hell over on Dropout. We have a fun slew of episodes coming up. I got some guests in there that are gonna be launching eventually.

It's a great show. If you like that, go check out Drawfee on YouTube. Go watch me and my friends draw pictures. It's a lot of fun. Can I plug I plug something else? A little something called Brother Sister Co. Oh, what am I gonna plug if you plug my company? Because I've been using the skin smoother. And how do you like it? I am, I am milky as a barrelful of chosen juice. You're glowing. Can we call milk chosen? I'm sure. I I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful.

I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful.

I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful.

I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful. I'm, no, I've been watching Black Earth Rising on Netflix. Oh, cool. How was that? It's cool. So yeah, great. Cool, yeah.

Yeah, guys, thank you. Check out Black Earth Rising. Check out the fall on Netflix. We don't have anything to do with it. We enjoy it. Jalen Anderson, but I've been swimming. Follow us on Twitter at CH-MRIVASME. Ad called he is called to all.

Addy expert is Emily at CH-KR, which is Jake, at Napaud, is Napaud. That's at Napaud's Napaud, tweet about the show using hashtag NADDPOD. We are, we are, the youth of the nation, we are, we are, youth of the nation, youth of the nation, youth of the... Fasion. It's the end of the show, everybody, and that means I need to shout out our benevolent council of elders, starting with Brad D, the only Pebble Pot that isn't Craven once went to a family reunion, but no one showed up because it was at 7pm in Pebble Pot's fear the evening. J. Loma's 72-aka steelbreaker, Hardwun's Jim Spiration. There aren't enough

weights at the gym these days, so Hardwun and Steelbreaker take turns benching each other. Dylan B, a sword-wielding wizard surrounded by a floating army of blades at all times, do not fight them, but if you want a fru-sat fruit salad, throw fruit at them. Danny P, Bohumi is resident artist, painted Hardwun's senior portrait at the dwarf image, also painted Gemma's senior portrait, which mysteriously disappeared from the wall just before hard one left iron deep. Tom P, father of the realm and serenader of sleeping babies, once Tom puts his young ins to sleep, he casts pass without trace on himself so he can freely get snacks from

the kitchen without waking the babies. Spencer cask brew, patron elder of libations, ill-maker to gods and heroes of Bohumia alike, Spencer once made a beer so alcoholic, that a hard one was drunk before he even finished the second beer he had in his other hand. Griffin SD, aka the stranger, the silver dragonborn Eldritch Knight, ex-owner of the Badgers Point Inn in Tavern, and unfortunately, the ex-owner of a brand new Fixie bike, but only because Griffin traded it in for a sick pair of roller blades, which they now plan on trading in for a second bar, they are calling the Badger's second pint in. Beardman Dan, the longest beard in all of Bohemia, Beardman Dan's beard is so long that Moonchine

once used it the Thorn Whip, a chosen bird by accident. Scott D. Resident archaeologist of Bohemia, recently unearthed the T-Rex, which, when placed next to Dragon Bones, looks very quaint. Hermes W. the Bat King rides around in a very cool car that they call the Bat King Mobile, not the Bat Mobile, put down that season to assist. Sparta, Seglaya, who uses a dagger to finish off their foes, it looks like a toothpick in their hands, but then suddenly it's in your eye and you're dead.

Atom R. the R-rated assassin, this is because Atom often commits murders while partially clothed, used to do it fully nude back when they were at the NC-17 assassin. Cassandra MHP, aka Cassandra, max HP, Cassandra has so much HP that their alarm clock is just a dragon breathing fire on their face. Cassandra never needs to shower because they get their germs burnt off every morning. Danielle, the dastardly-dame Danielle is so dastardly that she actually spiked the chosen milk with wine, several of them died from the shock of tasting alcohol. Hugh C. aka Haldoir Frostback, MVP of the Giant Wars, Crude on the SS Stormborn and fought

alongside Elias and Red, it's actually Hugh's speaking stone that was eventually given to Hard One and all of their contacts are still in there. Hard One could legit text Cored if he had the Huevos. Mandy the Monday and accidental deity who got in the way of a lichest spell to reach divinity when a parking spot opens up just as you're about to give up and go to a garage that's Mandy smiling on your soul. Daniel U, aka Multifor the Many Face Magician. Not that it matters,

but none of Daniel's faces rank below a 7 and most of them are 9. Jordan DJ, legendary DJ of the realm, has lately been bumping a kid cutie remix at the gnome tavern that has everyone shitting into space. Jeffree S, Lord of the Fjord, born of the sword and keeper of the gourd, that's right, Jeffree doesn't care that it's late Winter, he still has a freaking jackal lantern on his porch Cuz he don't give a fuck Cutter W a high-elf-dandy turned to Crick a barcatech cutter was commissioned to design

Cyrillus crown and she loved it so much she fully attached it to her head John S aka Shuber the mushroom Shuber tried to saute a piece of himself for a hungry traveler who turned out to be a wizard and has now granted him three wishes What will Shuber wish for Ryan M a heroic astronaut who was out to be a wizard, and has now granted him three wishes, what will Shubbert wish for? Ryan M. Ahero, a gastronaut who has recently bombarded with floating pieces of shit as they tried to repair their space module, what the hell? Alain A.C., a chosen soldier who was first on moonshine's kebab, that's prime real estate people.

Andrew M. A chosen soldier who's religious, but doesn't really rub it in your face, just kinda lets you be you. Michael M.T., head mixologist at the Blumana Inn, has a new drink called the Alonus that is just a brick of pot. Victor T., Boundor's boy whose loving dad was ripped from his family and transported to another world after it was revealed that Boundor isn't from World War I. Victor was erased from reality in Finity War's style, sorry Victor. Just an eye in Angel with mechanical wings, so Justin never gets confused for a bird. Clayton M. A Claymation Dalmatian, who's a Claymation sensation all around the nation.

No joke, Clayton is bigger than Gumby. The professional, the only lawyer to successfully beat Pop-On litigation, the professional used shady tactics to put an innocent Crick-Elf behind bars. It's rumored that they're going to be the subject of a new Crick-Flix documentary, Create Nikkiller Guy. Jacob C lives in the Glateron tunnels and frequently calls the cops on their coat-man neighbors. Alaina M. A real down-earth high elf, so down-earth Alaina makes Alonist look like a lad. Mick Pox, the amazing co-master who programmed our website, also coded the iron dwarves who have contributed to an oppressive, militaristic society, so it's a mixed bag.

Earl and Kathleen L. Enome, a couple who frequently get nasty in big and space room, luckily is proven by Boundor any bodily fluids disappear in a black hole. Jive G, a Crick-Elf who peed in the Glade Home moat so many times that they had to drain it. Corbin A, the overworked high-off who was tasked with draining the P-filled moat. Jostritch, the jock ostrich, despite being such a buff, cool ostrich, Jostritch was always super cool to their classmates and was well-liked across all ostrich social circles.

Charro Arcadia, a tiefling warlock whose tail has a mind of its own. Unfortunately, Charro's tail recently talked shit about the Ala in Glator on so Charror has been sentenced to death. Daniel R. Ram Daniel's evil twin, Daniel Soda, sold out the position of the Rams to the Knowles, but unfortunately instead of catching their mortal enemy, Ram Daniel, they just spent a very long time enjoying Ryan. Nicholas R. aka St. Crickless, if you're a good young and Nicholas will leave toys under your Christmas bush, and if you're a bad one, they'll put you in the timeout sack and

hit you with a stick, it's barbaric. Jennifer V, the greatest wizard in all of Bohumia besides Alonus, so the greatest sober wizard in all of Bohumia. Destincy, the bartender on Polores, Celestial cruise ship in the sky, and um, yeah, it's a swim-up bar. Devin B, the bodega lord, controls an army of bodega cats, and always has pork roll. Michael L, one of me-mossed former lovers and maybe moonshine's dad? We'll find out.

Sam H, one of my-mossed former lovers, and possibly pop-haz dad? We'll find out. Kelvin Noodles, a pasta elemental, lives in a lair made of meatballs across the sea of penne in boiling hot vodka sauce. Sergio Célez are Solomon Sacarias de Sequoane, 7th of his name, a sexy Peruvian snake folk with sweet snake patterns on his skin. Sergio is so sexy that they want seduced a rock, not an earth elemental, just a straight up rock.

Trayle, the cray-fay who tried to to convince King Lesterborn to stay with a really heartfelt TBT from his wedding to Queen Serilla, it didn't work! Eren G, master of the banishment spell, Eren doesn't flush, they banish, which means their toilet never gets up or decked. Eric B, the Jigger or not. That's right, Erick's a traveling bartender who roams Bohumia with only their trusted Jigger to concoct only the most authentic local one of a kind cocktails.

Jury S, the oldest kid at the Frostwind Dwarf and Edge, definitely pushing the limits of how old you can be and still be considered an orphan and not just a free standing unshaporned adult. Alucard, a Faye food blogger who specializes in cababs under the name the skewer reviewer gave moonshine's crit Kabab a glowing review with the only complaint being that it was a little hard to eat as some of the chosen weren't dead yet. Baby Doc, the only doctor to ever perform their own C-section, also the only doctor to ever diagnose themselves with hip dysplasia and perform their own physical therapy. Atomates, the leader of a secret of Kabal of Wizards called the Chilumanti, Chilumonati, whose third for world

powers actually been stated by Alonus's dope herb. Collin G, the Chipper Monk Handler, down at the creek, started a Chipper Monk circus called Chippendales, where only one act is a stripping Chipper Monk. Ryan, hard one's ram, who's brutally killed by noles, when hard one abandoned him. Although honestly, hard to think of Ryan as a single entity now, given how many noles stomachs their body is divided between. Big Buck, the only donk-er-donk-y ever-to-be even dictatively killed by a DM, now Big Buck lives in a purgatory where they can hear Beverly cast-casting summon steed but can't show up to 10 to their

masters need. Richard F. Achozen, who drowned in milk and was reborn a cow in one of the chosen's many cruel milk-sucking factory farms. Taylor S. aka. Reborn a cow in one of the chosen's many cruel milk sucking factory farms. Taylor S. aka Trash the Traveler Trash actually isn't a traveler in the sense of sleeping on the street or motels, they actually own a series of time shares in a strategic path so that they can wander behumia but still enjoy a great view of the Glade Home botanical garden or the Hill Home Dome in Wind They're in town.

John W.G. an author who writes horror novels because they live in a world of necromancers and zombies, however, their horror stories tend to be more about drinking milk that's gone bad and locking yourself out of the car. Try and make see, the only ill-behaved green teen, but try and make see is so good at being bad, they still got a badge for it. Cannibalistic Gutulu, if you're over for afternoon tea

and cannibalistic Gutulu offers you a lady finger, say no. Sam L. Bahumias Frodo, I know it's confusing, but Sam is currently on their own journey, bearing a ring of evil to destroy in the very flames that forged it, forged it with their trusty chaperone Frodo. Damm are a goose that got loose in the Frozen Over Summer Court, it's wreaking a lot of havoc and unfortunately no one is unfrozen enough to stop it. Josh S. the revived cyborg version of Josh the Cobalt, due to a malfunction in programming,

cyborg Josh actually experiences a deeper empathy than Cobalt Josh ever did and has since taken a journaling and reaching out to people they hurt in their youth. Blitzby, Dmitry, owner of Dwarggers, Big Borgher, and yes, they do serve chili fries and yes, the chili is made from goat men. Caleb Storm, cut better in Cords Great Hall,

no one else can be trusted to bear the cop or to secretly slip the Alka Celts or into it that helps. Cords week, tummy, digest, all that heavy ale. Andrew A, update, Andrew A, unseated Joe the praying mantis as mayor of the creek, currently having a heart to heart with the family about how they're going to juggle the new responsibilities and make sure Petri and Cudercune. get to Mudball practice. Nicholas E has starred in every single movie ever made in Bohumia, currently working on the Green Team mile a crime drama about a bunch of green teens on Death Row. Matt L, a chosen knight who learned the wild shapes spell so that they could turn themselves

into a cow. It may sound disgusting, but it saved the chosen afforcent on grocery bills. Targot, owner and proprietor of Bohumi's beloved general store, Targot. Their mascot is a massive white dragon, with a red target over its eye. Also this dragon is real, and if you slay it, you get free pretzels from the Targot food court for life. Mike Gage, a chosen soldier who was super good at hang gliding and kind of resents the fact that their co-workers just straight up have wings now.

Kevin Asse drew it famous for their good berry sangria, it restores tons of HP but gives you a real bad case of wine teeth. Tribble, a tiny mouse warrior who uses a needle as a sword, a thimble as a helmet, and your car as a car. That's right, Tribble stole your fucking car, what are you gonna do about it? Garrett M. a ranger who doesn't know how to track monsters, but is amazing at following the lingering scent of a freshly baked pie, be warned,

when Garrett is in your town, no window sill is safe. Matthew E. Aferri, who is magically transported to outworld, can a little pixie make it in the big city? Stay tuned to find out, oh god, they just got run over by a taxi. Samuel B. Adorven goes to has been spending a lot of time with Gemma lately, turns out they both love escape rooms. How crazy is that?

Dang, I'm excited to see where this goes. Be money, the official currency of the Bazinga B's, one Sheldon Buck equals 100 young Sheldons, but nobody really uses the coins anymore on account of how sticky it gets. Tillford G, a competitive deck of many things card player Tillford recently won a million dollar pot when they played a royal flush, unfortunately one of the cards transported them to an inferno void beyond time and space but hey a million bucks. Guardian of the light zack age, Bohumi is only key blade wielder, Zack defeats their enemies by explaining in detail the chronological timeline of the kingdom hearts franchise, most enemies beg for death before Sack even

gets to birth by sleep, they're that thorough. Matt C, aka Mattie Big Critz, Matt recently met their long lost brother Nathaniel Uno, aka Nadi One, they tried to hug it out but Nate rolled a one and accidentally fell off an airship. Mitch D, an enlightened drunken master, Water Genasi named Dach Alfa, whenever they got to the club, Dach requests Andrew W.K.'s I Get Wet and honestly it never gets old that song rips. Curtis S. Queen Cyrillus personal gardener Curtis spends their day creating D-D-Coy topiaries

across the Feywilds to fool Barrett Brisden. Colton B, a bean seller like the one from the fairy tale, however Colton's beans don't grow into a massive beanstalk, they're just super tasty and high in protein. The real reason Colton swindles poor kids out of their cows is to reduce the planet's methane emissions. Truly Colton is the hero this fairy tale deserves. Barrett K, Barrett Brisden's personal milk sommelier, Barrett has personally watched the shows in Captain Consume over four gallons of milk in a sitting without puking.

Jen's Christian tea, another Tritivalian, Jen's, who always gets Trins Lindell's mail, it's mostly bills, so Jen's see feels bad and has actually paid Team 22's rent for the past three months. Thanks Jen's see. Gage M has the thickest ear gauges in Bahumia. Gage used to have two wishstones in their ears, but then they wished for bigger gauges. That's a real monkey's ear, if you ask me. Montana Monarch, the ruler of the wild frontier, constantly having territory disputes with their

sworn enemy, the Wyoming Wyvern. And finally, Melanie Frey, aka Tiavina, Seregon, and Asimar Paladin who drunkenly swore a blood oath, but forgot what for. Maybe it was two of Empire? Maybe it's a literal blood oath? That would explain why they're so dizzy right now. Eat a cookie and grab some juice Tiavana, then let's get to the bottom of this. Thank you guys so much for listening. You can head on over to our Patreon Patreon.com NAD pod to listen to the short rest. We'll be back next week with another episode. Thank you to all of our patrons. Thank you guys so much for listening. We'll catch you next time. Goodbye!