Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 56: The Sunset Princess (A Faerie Tale)
Episode Date: March 28, 2019The Band of Boobs travel to the Autumn Court and receive an enticing proposition from Princess Jovyre! Hardwon tests his flying ability, Moonshine grapples with her bachelorette lifestyle, an...d Beverly meets a new friend. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music/Sound Effects Include:"Crackling Fire" by sagetyrtle at Freesound.org."Club chatter, London" by mlteenie at Freesound.org."Grenade" by Ljudmann at Freesound.org. "The Autumn Court" by Emily Axford."Goblin Dirigible" by Emily Axford."Crash Landing" by Emily Axford."An Innocent Flirtation" by Emily Axford."Queen Cirilla" by Emily Axford."Wooded Wonders" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Goodbye, Sweeties.
["Murphy's
Love Song"]
Welcome to the campaign after the campaign.
This is not another D&D podcast.
Welcome back to Bahumia, everyone.
Bahumia.
Yeah.
I'm your Dutch semester bride, Murphy, joined by Jake Herwitz. Bahumia. Yeah. I'm your Dutchman, master Brian Murphy,
joined by Jake Herwits.
Hard one, surefoot.
Emily Axford currently giving me the finger.
I'm Brad Pitt finger.
I'm Brad Pitt from 12 Monkeys finger,
but also I'm not Emily Axford.
I'm moonshine Sabin.
Queen of the Crick, champion of the prick,
and Bane of the Witch.
Ooh, hold on. Witch is Bane. Champion of the prick and bane of the witch. Ooh, a whole ton.
Witches bane.
Champion of the prick.
Yeah, those you remember when I got that prickle bush?
That's it.
Except Quince Arilla.
And called Old Tanner.
Given you a big thumbs up,
called Well Tanner style.
Nice to be respected.
Except I'm not called Well Tanner,
I'm Beverly Togo, the fifth puzzling ace
with pus on his face.
Hahaha.
Emily still giving me the finger, now giving me double
middle fingers.
Wow, yeah, aggressive.
She was rattling ice into the mic before we started.
And I said, maybe don't do that.
And then she just gave me the finger.
Instead of abolish ice.
That little finger, red, thin little finger.
Okay, guys, let's do a little recap.
So last week, you guys were recovering from your fight with the hounds
Hard one give a little more detail about his
Heralding brush with death and you all resolved to travel to Shadow fell to save the widow someday in the meantime though
You needed to get Queen Cerilla to safety
So you began traveling towards the autumn court so that you might find Princess Jovier and ask for her protection.
On the way to the autumn court you faced a series of challenges designed to weed out invaders,
Bev used plant growth to solve a puzzle involving falling leaves, you returned to head to a headless
horseman and you engaged in a high stakes game with a witch where she secretly possessed
one of you but you quickly realized
that she had possessed a balnor when moonshine asked what his favorite food was and he answered
chicken.
Yeah bitch.
Chicken.
Just one and done.
One and a half.
Daddy got a wamp dude.
I got a wamp.
You got your bell wrong.
You got your bell wrong dude.
You got no lights out.
Absolutely sniped.
Oh, if I get more of the milk, someone's going to sleep.
Take a bath.
You got to put you down, you shy-tie.
After defeating the witch, fuck him in,
the forest returns to normal and revealed the autumn court
before you, and that's where we are now.
So you guys have just completed the challenges
of the autumn court here, and you guys do see the city,
this little settlement.
You see smoke rises from within its walls,
from blacksmiths, hard at work,
and families sitting by their fires.
The settlements walls are made of wood.
These spiked logs that stand high.
You can see over them a stone keep,
as well as a few guard towers.
You see a mix of homes made of wood,
some made of stone and others
that look more like a bivouac or tents.
The gate is opened, but it is manned by two guards,
and there are several guard posts with guards inside.
They're all autumn alladren,
these elvish figures with dark brown hair
that look like leaves and burnt orange skin.
Before we go in, can we get like a group photo
to say that we made it through the escape room?
We all worked really hard,
and I think that like,
we just need like a little souvenir, a little keepsake.
I nearly bowler, can you look like you just got stabbed?
I was in a pot.
You stabbed my dang body, and I was in a pot.
Will you take the photo?
You have a tripod.
Yeah, we feel like we could time it out.
It's short.
Not only are you our Baghdad, you're a pot pop,
and we love you.
Oh my goodness.
Again, second worst moment of my life.
I hope that we don't have to top it.
I call Boundary, Boundary, come here for a second.
Yeah.
Just take a swig of this.
Is it some special oven wine?
I want you to unwind. Takes a a sip of this moment of some camaraderie
trying to get it in the bag.
I'm just a lager vintage.
I sidle up to a bit real quick.
I think they're reconciling.
Mom and dad are getting back together.
Can I do a perception factor over here, that?
Yeah.
I got a net 20.
Oh, yeah.
Super here.
They're a little too loud.
You see them, you see them like their eyes keep looking
over.
No, we were never together, right?
We wanted you to be okay.
Look away, look away, look away.
I just got for you.
Super hot women in Super hot women.
Hey, we are the week guys.
We broke up, okay, but we're still friends.
Oh, I'm going to shine that show.
I'm going to let you have ex-era just in the pop, but someday're still friends. Oh, I'm moonshine. That's so.
I'm gonna let you have that, because you're just in the pop.
But someday I need to get it through your head that we were never together.
So mature.
There was nothing to ever break up.
moonshine, I got to ask.
What kind of complicated questions did you ask to?
How did you know it wasn't real?
I said, were we ever really together?
And you said yes, and I was like that can't be true
That's strange that you were able to just then sense that it was the witch not me
Yeah, because it was just a real a real connection here. I don't know
I said did I ever really like you or was I just kissing you to save your damn life?
So no one else had to ask a question. You just knew it wasn't the real me
Yeah, it was the hardest of all our trials, I'd say.
Oh, speaking of stone timers, five, four, three.
Everybody get together.
Everybody says it's gay.
I don't know the opposite side from Belly.
Smile, Queen Serilla.
Okay, you've got this whole time all through these trials.
You've been passing along Queen Serilla. That's a good question. So you guys are so there is some activity here. So you see
um you can kind of surmise that if you are a member of the autumn courts that um you can
pass in and out of the city and um that you can go through these woods without doing this challenge.
So you do see these little red and orange goblins
going in and out of the city.
I'm wrapped in syrup in my cloak
so people aren't like starting.
Okay, so you're gonna wrap her up,
but you're still gonna be holding a person.
Yeah, I guess I wanna discuss with everybody.
Do we just tell the guards the truth?
I don't know if we should. We should. If you're gonna tell anyone, do we just tell the guards the truth? And I don't know if we should,
we should, if we're gonna tell anyone,
we should just tell Princess Jovier.
I don't know.
Yeah.
But I think, but I don't,
I don't hate this plan that we're just straightforward
with the guards and say, we are here for what,
we need to speak to the princess
because her sister's life is actually.
Yeah, I mean, that's true.
The guards are unlikely to just, you know,
try to steal the queen or something like that.
Yeah, an approach of radical honesty could be a fun change of pace.
Let's do it.
Then we won't have to roll deception checks.
Probably just persuasion.
Operation, honor.
Should we do Operation Honest Lad?
Ha ha ha ha.
I think I can persuade them.
Ben's always honest. Oh yeah. I mean, compared to those two, I feel like could persuade them. Ben's always honest. Oh
Yeah, I mean compared to those two I feel like I lie least I'm the least at lying
Really I consider myself somewhat honest Let's all go around the circle and say whether or not we think we're honest because it's interesting to hear other people
Okay, I'll answer first chicken
Don't get that reference. I was in a pot
I don't get that reference. I was in a pot. It was, you know, we had a little inside joke
before we started playing the game.
Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah, it was gone.
I just blacked out. I drank a drink and then I was in a pot.
You had to be there. It wasn't.
Right. You were in a pot.
You see, um, we actually came up with some, um,
pretty good jokes, but you were dead. Hard one.
Oh, really? Yeah.
Well, you were blinking in this photo,
and I think it's still fine.
Oh, shit.
You see, Papa has painted a photo of everyone else.
That is very good, man.
Papa, we have honestly been working
Papa over time, and when we get in here,
I need to find a possum msor.
You know what?
I am a possum msor, and I start giving him a msor.
Oh, rare. You have a way to do that. he puts his fingers on like the bridge of his nose and then you start like rubbing him and you just start
Survelling you feel you feel a lot of knots back there like reading that contract
There's no soft spots. Oh Laura is good. She looks like her children. I get two tiny cucumbers for his eyes.
We're here.
You earned it baby.
You earned it.
He has a possum spot.
A Bev senior just like stands there watching
his massage.
It's normal.
And you're like you are insane.
Normal pay wild stuff.
All right. so radical honesty.
Yep, let's give it a go.
I'm honest.
All right, we walk up to the guards.
How many guards are there, like two?
You see two that are like standing at the gate
and kind of allowing people to come in.
But you do see that there are several
like up in the guard towers.
They have bows, but they're not like drawn on anyone.
And as you guys approach, you see one of them looks at you guys and goes,
Travelers, what brings you to the Autumn Guard? We have an urgent message for the Princess.
It's not really a message so much as we are in crisis and her sister's life, we are trying to save
her sister. The Hounds accosted us, and we had to save the queen.
We have proof that she is still alive and in good spirits.
We just need to get her to the princess immediately.
What proof do you have that the queen is all right?
What message should I send the princess?
Heartlong.
Give him a peek.
Let them pick a queen.
I open my cloak just to touch.
This Aladdin walks over, kind of confused.
Look, senior cloak.
Oh, oh my God.
Yeah, it's so good.
We would appreciate if we could just keep her concealed,
though, because we have been, you know,
racing to keep her away.
I think that's wise.
Okay, good.
I will take you right to the princess.
Yes, thank you.
I think we should all go.
Radical honesty is under appreciation.
Should we tell the truth more?
That was crazy.
That was really great.
The westerly great.
Let's go right to the princess.
Yeah.
Wow, thank you.
Yes, yeah, absolutely.
I do.
I do even like a quick unexpected hug.
Thank you.
Yes.
Welcome to the autumn court.
Yeah.
So what's your name, sir?
My name is Rasson.
Rasson, all right.
We'll leave the way.
So Rasson, like, quickly runs over and he goes, they're,
they need to see the princess right away.
The other guards just kind of like nod and let you guys in.
We're diplomats.
This guard leads you guys into the settlement.
It's like finding out your name is
on the list. I will go right in. This settlement has a little bit of like a winter fell feel,
but obviously it's autumn here. Autumn drop. Autumn, autumn fell. Autumn, autumn drop. You see
eladrian children practicing their bow work.
You also see these red orange goblins are hard at work.
You see a bunch of them wheeling big wheel barrels full of wood.
They're bringing it over to some workers who are in the process
of building this insane flying machine.
It's wood.
It's halfway between an airship and a zeppelin
with a blink, a blimp-like apparatus attached
to a shiphole and just way too many propellers.
I got two questions.
One, does it look like it's a military or,
because you said that they don't have a military?
Does this look like it's recreational?
It looks like they're experimenting. Okay. Does it look like it was recreational? It looks like they're experimenting.
Okay.
Does it look like it was designed by a real cook?
It looks like these goblins are kind of crazy.
It looks like they're like gnome or dwarf tinkers,
but are down for kind of more dangerous and crazy things.
And you said they were like red, orange, and yellow.
Yeah, so they're like ketchup, mustard,
and special sauce goblins. Sure. ketchup, mustard, and special sauce goblin.
Sure, okay.
They're called sunset goblins.
You know of sunset goblin.
Can I take, can I inspect this ship?
Like count the sales, see if I can.
Oh yeah.
You look at this baby for a spin.
Hard one, go ahead and give me a perception check.
It's good to size it up.
In case we need to escape in a pinch.
Yeah, if we need to, I'm not sure if you find anything.
Unless you find anything. A seven hard one you know for sure that you could
fly this thing the rest of you guys look at this these are complicated
fucking apparatuses okay you see goblins and goggles with blow torches
doing metalwork while others are hammering in planks. Some of them have these like flux capacitors,
style backpacks that buzz with electricity
and send energy through tubes to guns and tools
that they use to repair and enchant the ships.
Yeah, this is all pretty rudimentary.
This is so...
Name one thing.
You see a bunch of goblins stand back and cheer
as one of them takes off.
It's like one of the smaller ones.
It's about helicopter sized.
You see it shoots off, haphazardly,
as like a fireball explodes out the back.
Some kind of back thruster.
It propels it into the sky.
Then the propellers begin to go,
and it bobs there for a second.
The goblin start cheering again,
but then a side propeller breaks off.
The whole thing begins spinning and plummeting
from the sky, it just explodes.
Can I, well, no, can I just win,
just a win.
You gust of wind and it blows further off
and the goblin's going, oh no!
I was trying to save that little goblin's life.
And you see the elagir. And the gas reviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviviv take their lives into their own hands. They, um, they call them flying machines. We call them death machines.
That's honestly it's
I understand why you have developed a thick skin, but I am seeing these summer govins for the first time and they are so damn cute.
I turn to my dad and say a couple of kooks.
Some goofballs, but you know, it's always hard to lose somebody.
It's choked up. Yeah.
Why did you lose all of my brothers and all of my sisters?
Oh, thank my poor. I thought he was saying he got remarried and lost.
Oh, what?
They had a running bet.
Oh, for what it's worth, I bet you would never ever leave Mrs. Togel.
Yeah, I agree with that.
We're both winners in the bet.
Good, pay each other out.
I give Moose some gold.
I take it.
C, C, um, discard. All right, that's good. You hold it. So you see this guard.
All right, that's good.
You hold it.
This guard takes you to a keep.
It's extremely modest.
Unlike a lot of the thrown rooms you've been in,
it's warm.
There are braziers with a bunch of fires going
for pelt's line, the ground and some of the walls.
You see dark red banners of the autumn court
with a golden leaf in the center.
It's bustling with activity in here.
There are a laddren and goblin servants,
but there are also people here,
goblins and a laddrens chatting, having a drink.
You know, usually when you guys are in like a grand hall for a
castle unless it's some big event there aren't usually people there drinking and
stuff with like the royalty. But here you do see that there are all these
long wooden tables full of candles and half drunk people having conversations
and at the end of the room on on a slightly raised platform, you see a throne lined with various peltz,
and sitting atop it is Princess Jovier.
She bears some resemblance to Cyrilla,
but differs in some major ways.
You see that she is essentially half goblin.
Her body is proportioned to like an alladron.
She's probably about five feet tall.
Half of her body and a straight line
down the middle of her face looks like a beautiful ladren woman with brown hair and burnt
orange skin. And the other half of her looks like a large sunset goblin. She's got a bigger
bulging eye on that side and long claw-light fingers that grip a staff. She wears a long
dark red cloak with fur at the top. She's having a spirited conversation
with an older looking goblin,
Shaman, and is drinking out of a horn,
but then her eyes clock you guys as you enter.
Okay, can I get five butter beers this way?
Yeah, this feels like a little bit of like a Viking haul,
you know, sort of like the,
she has proven herself to be a worthy person to to serve now everyone's hanging out in the hall
So just I don't know keep that in mind. It seems like valor is important here. Yeah, yeah, exactly first things first
I lay the the Queen Cyrillus. Oh, yeah, good good. Let's let's bring her up to the Queen
Let's just know. Yeah, yeah, I mean I lay her in front of right okay cool
So you guys go up and approach the throne Let's bring her up to the queen. Let's just not. Yeah, yeah, that's right. I lay her in front of right of my hand. Okay, cool.
So you guys go up and approach the throne.
Yeah.
And you hold out Queen Serrilla
and you see Princess Jovier looks at her.
And you see she begins speaking to you
and she's got the one side of her mouth.
That's like the goblin side is a little bit bigger.
So it's kind of like disproportionate.
So when she talks, she's got this kind of
strange, it's not a lisp, but it's like she can't ever fully close her mouth, so she goes,
perhaps we should talk in private. I absolutely agree. I scoop the queen right back up. Yes,
let's do that. Lead the way. Love your look by the way. I
Love your look. I just think I think it's amazing to find a politician who just
Really represents their people. Go ahead and give me a persuasion check with advantage
14 14
You see she kind of side-, Sarilla, and she goes,
yes, well, not all of us can be perfect, can we?
I honestly don't even know if you're implying
that you weren't perfect or Queen's Rillas imperfect.
Well, some of us value beauty more than others.
I cursed myself, well, quote unquote cursed,
so that I might look more like my people.
Well, I'll say to yourself a little bit like half ugly as a lager and a...
She has a big belly laugh at that.
You and I are going to get along I think.
Oh hell yeah.
She takes you guys back to another smaller room. It's got the same kind of vibe.
There's another long table here. There's no windows. It's got the same kind of vibe. There's another long table here.
There's no windows.
There's only the light of some candles
and another brazier.
She sits across from you on one side of the table
and motions for you guys to sit.
That's it.
I look under the chair to see if there's a prize or...
There's not a prize.
Do we prop up Cerilla?
Kind of like, yeah, like we can at Bernie's thoughts.
Yeah.
Why don't you go ahead and sit her up?
Yeah, should I like put a cup in her head?
Yeah, cause you never know if she's gonna wake right up.
But I just think it'd be less jarring to wake up sitting.
Yeah, you wanna be in the presence of friends
and relatives.
So, I put my night vision goggles on her.
That's honestly hilarious.
Should I attach some string to her hands?
Beverly Senior goes, oh that's my queen guys.
Everybody easy there.
Beverly Senior just sits next to her and props her up respectfully.
I mean you're real queen is Martha Togo, but go on.
I'm sure that all women are queens.
Wow, beautiful, beautiful.
Yes, so I heard about the attack on the summer court and I was worried about my sister,
but you've brought her right to my doorstep.
Yes.
Yes.
Well, we are equally invested in her safety.
Yeah, I can't say we brought her in great spirits and health.
I wish we brought...
This is the state that we found her in our defense.
I guess we're wondering if you know how to cure her of this state,
because herping in this state means that a lot of my friends
and comrades and family are trapped in a similar frozen existence.
And it's not a good look.
Yes, I've heard about the humanoids who were frozen in the summer court.
Yes.
And we would like to give them the agency to defend themselves because we believe that they could
be exploited in their frozen state.
Right.
Well, for you to end the curse, shall we kiss her?
Because we've asked several times if it's okay.
She don't need to kiss her.
Okay, good.
No.
Good.
I'm glad. Hard one stops putting on chaps. No worries.
We'll do that.
You should do that anyway.
You should.
Your lips are a little chapped.
Did you die recently?
Why I did.
Thank you for noticing.
Yeah, your lips get quite chapped when you die.
I sure.
Nails keep growing, lips keep chapped and can't even.
I continue putting on chaps.
If you want to break the curse that has frozen your friends,
you'll need to do one of two things.
You can either travel to the winter court
and find King Lesterborn,
probably have to fight Queen Ezra to get to him,
or the more pragmatic approach to save her followers
would be to take the seely crown off of Queen Serla and
Find her followers to someone else. Are you suggesting yourself?
You see Bev senior pipe 70 goes well, we're certainly not doing that. Oh
Yeah, really Bev Really, Beth.
Let's give Beth senior the floor.
Sure, his heck ain't letting somebody just kill my dang queen.
Yeah, that would kill her, right?
Let's just get that radical honesty light of truth.
Okay, yes.
I do agree that I do not think that's an option.
I'd rather not do that either.
My sister and I have our differences,
but I don't wish for any harm to come to her.
Still, I do want to be queen.
So I'd like to make you a proposition.
I will protect Sarilla behind my walls,
but when you travel to the Winter Cour to find King Lecesterborn,
you'll kill Queen Ezra for me, bring me her crown, and make me the unsealied Queen.
I need at least a character reference for you. I'm sorry, I don't know you and I I Don't even know Queen. What's your what's your name by the way? I have we haven't even introduced ourselves
Moon shine seven Moon shine cyber nice to meet you. Where are you from?
I'm from the Creek. It's the material plane. Yeah. Oh, you've heard of the great
Make my heart beat with Brad. I feel like a ballerina's mother knowing that y'all know about the crink.
And you know me, we've met before.
Yes, we've met before.
Beverly Togalt.
And this is my boy.
Here my dad.
Yeah, I came by with a queen's arrival.
Oh, that's right, you mentioned that, sorry.
Yeah, that's okay, bud.
It's been a rough couple days.
Hi, Curtsy.
Very good.
Thank you.
Hey, how you doing?
Hard one, sure, foot. Hard one, sure, foot Very good. Thank you. Thank you. Hey, how you doing? Heart wants your foot.
Heart wants your foot.
Princess Jove here.
What?
Have you heard of prime ministers and the concept they're in?
Let me, let me say this.
Okay.
If I truly meant you harm,
what would stop me from setting all of my guards on you
and killing my sister right now?
Because you may decide that we are more useful alive than we are dead.
However, I do not want to write you off.
I want you to understand that my hesitation is just that I've just met you.
And it is not because I do not think that you seem honorable.
And that's very wise.
And there's what I would posit.
Yes.
The Unceely Court does need a queen.
That's correct.
There has to be a queen there.
Yes.
And the current queen of the Unceely Court sucks big time.
Did kidnap and curse everybody.
Yes. So at the very least, I'm game to get rid of that queen.
In order for you to want,
I feel like if we are going to enter this pact,
we should know a little bit about
what you how you intend to govern an entirely new core?
Yeah, I just wanted to enter this conversation with you understanding that we're buying
into the premise.
But you have to run for this office just a tiny bit of time.
What do you thoughts on, I guess, like economy, education, climate issues. Yeah.
By being the younger sister, I was bound to rule a quote unquote lesser court.
I don't believe any of us should be limited by how we were born.
I don't want to rule over my older sister.
I only want to be her equal.
You're likely going to have to face Queen Ezra anyway when you try to save Lesterborn. And in that moment you'll have to choose whether you want to destroy the
Unseely Crown or make a new Queen. If you destroy it there will be one court to rule over
the Fey. And I don't think that's right. The Seely should not judge what happens to the famorians or the goblins or various
monsters that aren't considered beautiful. So why not keep the two courts and give the
crown to someone who might do some good and who takes over this court when you become
the unseely queen? I would unite the autumn and the winter courts.
I would like for a change of seasons.
To sort of a goblin.
You see she thinks about it.
It's honestly not a contingent clause
because everything you're saying is,
you know, it's not falling on waxy ears.
You're saying all the right things.
The most rational talk we've heard in a while,
I'll say that.
I appreciate everything that you're saying.
Yeah, which made us drink all of our blood mixed together.
Oh, yeah.
So this conversation is a welcome thing.
Well, I have to, I unfortunately have to do that
because I don't have a grand army to put it so.
Right, but I also do, I want you to keep that spirit
if you inherit keep that spirit. If you inherit
much new power, the spirit of a maze versus an army is actually, it's quite elegant in
my opinion. Yeah, my friends. Yeah. My sister and I have our differences, but I believe
we could reach agreements and have peace between the Celian, unceilier. I don't want to bend the knee to my sister, but I would help her. Okay, so here how about
this? If we break this curse, defeat the unceilier queen, your sister wakes up
if she co-signs this. I'm going to risk my people. If I'm going to risk our safety, if the unceilified out that she's hiding here, then I'm
putting my kingdom at risk.
I need a guarantee from you.
Okay.
I guarantee you will be the unceilified queen if your sister says it's cool.
Can I just do a quick insight check?
Not like, all I want to do is know if her words that she's been saying are sincere.
Go ahead.
You guys can all make insight checks if you'd like.
I got 15.
15.
I got 19.
20.
This is someone who has a chip on their shoulder and you kind of look at Queen Cerilla.
And Queen Cerilla is very much like this fairy tale princess.
And princess Jo Vier is very much so this like kind of pragmatic leader.
And you don't know that one is necessarily better than the other.
Like Queen Cerilla is not, you know, mean to goblins or something.
She's not, but like Jo Vier is more willing to get her hands dirty,
but perhaps is not as like, quote unquote, good or nice.
But does Jo Veer, like, I guess like, when she's talking
about like, she cares about her people,
and stuff like that, is that sincere?
That is sincere, okay.
She's not telling you lies.
I quick spit some rapport spores on my compatriots,
and I just say, I think I buy it.
I'm into it.
Again, we've talked to a lot of weirdos and freaks
of late and this person is making a decent amount of sense.
Yeah.
I have one more question for you though.
Okay.
What were you saying about the changing of the seasons?
I was saying if we could truly unite the courts, if I were
the unceiliguin and Cyrilla were the ceilig, then perhaps the summer court could experience
autumn and spring, and the autumn court could experience winter and summer. It's always, it's always too hot for cider
in the summer court.
That's right.
That's a tragedy.
Would you guys like some cider?
Would you guys like some cider to run through a sprinkler
and auto?
Yeah.
Okay.
I can't run over the last time I run out of this sprinkler.
Not only do you have your deal,
but I'm ready to canvas for you.
Oh my God.
Some doors.
Oh my God.
I'm ready to knock on some doors.
So shall we drink on it?
I will protect my sister, Queen Serilla, you will get the unceilig crown for me and make
me queen of the unceilig.
Can we just get that in writing and have our council?
Yeah, we actually do have a lawyer that we have a lawyer. Yeah, that's fine
I see no problem with that. Oh, I see you have one too except yours is like a little koala. I do
That's wrong. Yeah, I don't know. I just this it feels so rash to promise a crown to someone we just met
Although you are saying all the right things. I don't want you to feel. And she's already a princess.
Yeah, you know what, okay.
Also, where we decide, we just got here.
Yeah, not to mention we have made some terrible decisions
in the past, even more rashly.
So, why not?
Plus our mission right now is to defeat
the unceilig queen and break this curse
and if she can help us, then.
We just came here to get my dad
and then all this happened.
So I guess you know, take it with a grand assault.
I'll drink to it.
I just want you to know that I am doing this
because I feel pretty excited about some of the things
you just said.
And I've been excited about politics at that time.
Yeah, I can't be honest.
I can't take that a little bit.
You're welcome to drink in my hall.
You're welcome to stay here as long as you would like.
And eventually you'll help me get the crown.
And I'll protect my sister.
Okay.
And I'll protect her with my life.
And I promise you that.
I guess, can we put a clause on the contract
that you're not gonna wage war against your sister?
Provided, we're able to reach a consensus, I can't promise you that we will never have conflicts.
Right, I know that you'll have conflicts, but I guess it's like I don't want it to be like,
rather like I don't want you to take imperialist action against her.
Ruling the world does not interest me.
Good, again saying all the right things.
Thank you so much.
All the seasons together.
Yep.
I like that.
Here's to that.
All right.
I asked my dad if I can have a drink.
Yeah.
Oh yeah, you can have a little drink, but.
Oh, we drinkin'.
What, what kind of drink do you sell at home?
I'm assuming that you can make hot cocktails.
I was gonna do it like a horn of ale for everyone,
but would you like a cocktail?
It's been a while, right?
I'm partial to Crickwater myself.
Oh, do y'all have any kind of Crickwater back there?
I think we could probably enchant something
to be whatever you'd like.
I pull hard once, I'm like,
this never as good as the real deal on the enchantive,
but honestly, I've had some of this fucking
elvish swill for the last few days, so anything will do.
All right, I'll take the crick water as well.
I ask what the other halflings are having.
You see, at the same time, Balnor and Bev senior say Bud Heavy.
And then they both look at each other, but like a little nod of respect.
Yes.
I say to both of them, Dad's gonna have a sip of your beer.
Yeah, buddy. Oh, yeah. What a butt. Two horns for me. Yes, I say to both of them dads can have a sip of your beer
Yeah, buddy. Oh, yeah, oh not what about you horns for me
You see Princess Jovier goes and fetches some horns for you guys pour some bud heavy for the three halflings
You see she brings in this little goblin shaman who
Who now that's a mix out just bitch who enchants some horns for you guys hands hard one and moonshine some horns Is he wearing one of those like old like you know how mix all just so he's like dressed weirdly all time me
Does he have like a handlebar mustache and a vest? No, she's got like a long cloak over her like a fur
Okay, the mixology economy in both of these worlds is so wild. Half the
people we meet are mixologists, it's great. She's able to enchants to be quick water for
you guys. So you see Princess Jovier, porzer's self, some ale, to peace between the Celian
and the Ancieli. To peace. Cheers is kind of like a contract, right?
You guys all cheers to make the contract.
You guys all want to make this contract?
Yeah, as long as she's cheers and a piece.
You guys all cheers.
All right.
She takes her sip to a time of all seasons.
Technically, you're supposed to waft this, but fuck it.
Ha ha ha.
Guys, take a sip.
Taste just like crick water, y'all.
Really?
Yeah.
I look at that little goblin shaman and I'm like,
y'all should be, I mean, what?
You see this little goblin shaman has like
the glazed over eyes, like she's blind or something,
but she looks like she can like see through you
and she just nods and smiles.
I got my head referenced.
I say anytime you're at the creek,
you gotta fuckin' bed a mess, don't you? Yes, the creek you got fucking you got a fucking bed of my stuff
Yes, the crack she comes over and pours you some more creek water anytime. Oh, Melora. What's your story?
Long story can we can we help you do you have any quests? You walk on with us
Sir Frances Jolvia. I love to work
I serve Frances Jove here. I love to work for the unshieldy queen.
All right, wow, what?
We're trying to make that happen for you.
All right, she's kind of creepy
and she just walks out of the room backwards
while still staring at all of you guys.
Damn, it really takes all sorts, huh?
Love to see what she does with, like, you know,
just a margarita.
Curious, I'm curious.
Probably some alapino in there, no question.
So what's next here?
In order for you to get to Ezra the Unkind,
you'll need to get to the Winter Court.
And you see Bev Senior speaks up and he goes,
so King Leicesterborn is being kept in a tower away from the rest of the
Unsealy kingdom. We should head straight there.
Draw Queen Ezra out. Plus a lot of their army will be gone. Sena is there invading the
Summer Court provided we get there fast. That's right. What's the fastest way to get there?
Princess Jove here does a little size. She goes
Well, my companion here can elk herself
I do a postpartum
You don't have any like times you don't have any extremely normal airships we could ride into.
Yeah, she goes, well, we don't have extremely normal ones, but
there's a real vanilla airships.
Just like two fins, don't, elements all like anything.
Doesn't have to be anything simple.
I can fly something very complicated.
Well, I'm one of the most celebrated pilots.
If you're in the material plane. I want to get to the, I'm one of the most celebrated pilots. If you really material playing want to get.
I just believe hard one. It's true. He's, he's, yeah.
If you want to get to the winter cord fast,
you can talk to one of the goblins in the hanger.
There's, can you give us a set us up an intro with maybe the most
established one so that we can sort of,
because I'm just saying if we met them in the context of you,
you might save us some sweat trying to ingratiate ourselves.
Yeah, a letter of introduction.
You see, she goes back and she grabs some like parchment
and she writes a note that you're being sent
on behalf of the Princess Jovier, an important mission,
and anyone who helps you is Oda Favre and is in her debt, and she signs it, and she puts her
seal on it. Y'all, we just got blank checks. All right, I've done my captain's hat.
just got blank checks. All right, I've done my captain's hat.
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
Now this tower that lesterborns in,
does she hang like a big tie over the tower
when like naughty stuff is going on
or we're just gonna need to like use our treasure?
We're gonna leave now, thank you so much.
Ah, ah, ah, ah.
If you wanted to have a drink or have a rest,
you're also welcome to enjoy our haul. One of each?
Yeah, let's do one of each.
Yeah, a lot of each.
So you guys go back on the haul,
you see it is a rowdy out here.
There's a lot of like half-drunk people
having like fun conversations and everything.
I'm full tables of goblins and alladren interacting.
Servants come over, refill your flaggans of ale
and crick water.
You see that there's some table dancing going on.
There's some definitely some table dancing, some like a lagerand, uh, doing like little
hobbit dances.
Wait, can me and Balnor and my dad do like a hobbit dance?
Yes.
You say the hobbit song?
Oh, absolutely.
Balnor, Balnor definitely learned some dances from, you know, his elders who were, you know,
essentially the younger generation of your people.
So we know a green teen dance.
You guys definitely know a green teen dance.
So you guys all know a green teen dance.
So you see, Bev Senior gets a little tipsy on Elle.
Oh yeah.
This is such a big moment for Bev.
I am pounding my horn on the table so hard as they dance.
Kick your feet around and round everybody toss it back. Kick your feet around and round. Hey, oh my name is Jack.
Yeah Jack the original green teen who could forget old Jack. That's right. Oh my name is Jack. I
preteen who could forget old Jack that's right. Oh my name is Jack. I love it. Hey, oh my name is Jack. Pull or loves us. We love him back
Hey, oh my name is Jack. I made it up on the fly. Come eat some slack
All the Aladdin and the Goblins are like getting drunk throwing their arms around each other, singing along with you guys. The song's pretty repetitive,
so everyone joins in.
They're kind of ecstatic to have people in
from the material plane.
They don't get to see people like this normally,
so they see these like three halflings dancing,
doing like a jig together on this table,
and everybody's going nuts.
Absolutely a jig.
Yeah, I guess like we're here. We're in this great hall
Who do we see like it's mostly goblins and goblins and a laddron?
Okay, yeah, I feel like I've had one and a half bud heavies
I'm pretty tipsy. So I guess like yeah, like I probably
Just mingle see who I see maybe a fey. Maybe I accidentally bump into a teen goblin boy and it's a weird moment for me.
Go ahead and make your perception check.
Are you like scoping?
No, not scoping.
You're not looking for teens.
You're not on the prowl.
Okay.
Not on the teen prowl.
That's a 16.
Okay. the teen for out. That's a 16. Okay, Bev, you look around and you do see a young man.
Looks to be around 15 or 16.
This young, Audemaladrin.
Oh no.
He's got like mid-length hair.
It's got like the left to right part.
Oh, a swoop. Wait. He's got like a little swoop part. Oh, a swoop.
He's got like a little swoop.
Is it orange?
It is orange.
He's like a burnt orange skin and like brown hair.
And you see him, he looks to be like doodling.
Oh no.
He's drawing on like a little no pad by himself.
We're drawing.
Oh, hey.
Is everyone of your scrolls?
I was just drawing some monsters,
and he shows you this like really good drawing
of an owl bear.
I nudge moonshoek.
That's so dang, that's so good.
Thanks, have you ever seen an owl bear?
Actually, no, I've seen a lot of kooky stuff out there,
but if you've never seen, I've seen, if you're rid of like a bully,
what galaeth?
I've never seen one of those.
You mean like a frog he myth?
Kind of like that.
Yeah.
I've never seen one of those.
Can you just, can you describe it for me?
Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, so teeth not as good as you would hope.
So you see, he starts, it basically,
Bev's like a little bit drunk,
and you guys are kind of like watching this.
You watch as this.
It's so hard because we kind of gotta let this play out.
We gotta let Bev find his truth.
Yeah, I don't wanna influence this.
Exactly.
Bev, as you're like describing the frog,
he myth, this automoladrin is,
he's like sketching it like a police sketch artist,
like drawing exactly what you tell him and everything. And he shows it to you and he's like sketching it like a police sketch artist like drawing like exactly what you tell him and everything
And he shows it to you and he's like like this
That's like super accurate. Oh my gosh. Yeah, my dad my dad's putting together like this
We're it's like a collection of monsters like pictures of monsters. We're calling it like the monster guide
It's I feel like manual might be better for like the
eliteration.
Monster manual.
Yeah.
I should tell my dad that.
That's awesome.
Hey, what's your name?
Oh, I'm Beverly, Beverly Togal, the fifth.
That's awesome.
I haven't seen somebody like you around.
Material plane.
That's...
There's so many monsters on the material plane that don't
exist in the fake wild. Did you know that? Yeah I've killed a lot of them. You're an
adventurer. Yeah I'm with my friends over here. I kind of waved I like realize I'm
into deep now. Can I do an instant insight check into whether or not bebe actually wants to be saved?
Ah cool.
I got an eight.
Oh bebe, how do you...
I don't know if bebe knows what bev wants.
I guess I'm just gonna report sports him and say, you're young, like you don't have
to be with the one just yet.
And then I'm gonna walk away.
And then we're gonna take out the reports, Bours.
Yeah, I don't, I'm retracting the report,
report, report, and you do what's right for you.
My name's Taran by the way.
Taran, hey, it's nice to meet you.
Yeah, shake his hand.
Shake your hand.
Yeah, I live obviously in the autumn court here with my father and my mother and
I have a little sister and yeah, sometimes me and my dad or me and my mom will go out and we saw an albeiro one time
I saw unicorn one time a Pegasus. Yeah, you want to see he start showing you through his like little sketchbook
my dad says that If my drawings get good enough
that he's going to put them in his,
we were calling it the Monster Panflip,
but now I'll tell them we're going to call it the Monster Manual.
I think you got to keep working on this.
This is amazing stuff, bud.
Oh, thanks, man.
Could you draw me?
Yeah, do you want to?
Ah!
Oh my god!
Should we get some like, please? Yeah, I I just like kick a door open to like a room
that like looks like that room in the Titanic where Jack drops?
Do you want to, we could, I mean,
should we like go out into like the woods or something?
I can show you like, if you know a good spot,
I can show you the albare cave.
Oh, yeah, that'd be great, is it dangerous?
I mean, a little bit, you're not scared, are you?
Psh, psh, psh, psh.
Psh, psh.
I mean, I'm always a little scared.
I'm always a little scared, too.
That's cool that you can admit that.
Yeah, I don't know, I mean, like, I've got a friend
who's puts up a lot of walls, and I respect that, and sometimes I think that's good,
but I don't know.
Sometimes I think you gotta be open, radical honesty, you know?
Yeah.
So let's, yeah, why not?
Let's give it a shot.
Cool.
So you see, so moonshine and Argon, you can,
where the fuck is going on?
You guys see Taron and Bev leave this hall.
I'd have to have him up.
I want a quick low nut.
Hard one.
We did the right thing, right?
Oh yeah, definitely.
Right, like the best thing is like we can't intervene.
He's young, he's gonna live his life.
And if we try to give him an adult wisdom,
he's not gonna learn the lesson to explore. No way. We are not gonna intervene, but we are gonna follow him
Okay, yeah, you guys wanna follow him? Yeah, okay pass for that
Do you see Bound or in Bev senior are like a little bit drunk and are like really
You guys enjoy this you guys enjoy the, you guys have fun out there.
Hey, pal, how fun with your friend.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Love you, love you dads.
Love you.
So, Bev exits.
Do you guys want to go ahead and get,
are you going to do pass-
Sure, I'm going to read this.
Yeah, pass-
I'm going to check, go ahead and get pass-
That's not true, it's a hard one.
Go ahead and give a stealth check.
You guys.
I got a 26.
21.
31, okay, so unless you bet this specifically looking for them,
you're not even gonna make a check.
You guys are just like following at a distance,
like you guys are blending into the crowds
of like the settlements.
I just feel like hard one, it'd be presumptuous for us to assume that
Irland is necessarily the right one for him.
Oh definitely.
Hey, I want him to get his.
I just don't want him to get eaten by an owl bear.
Absolutely.
So Terran walks out with you Bev and starts walking outside
the city walls like into the forest.
He starts talking to you and he says,
so you I've heard that in the material plane
that the season's changed, that the sun moves.
Yeah, it's a whole spear, it's a whole thing.
And every day is different.
Every day is different.
That must be amazing.
It's honestly a lot sometimes, really?
Yeah, consistency feels nice.
What do you think about this place?
What do you think about the Feywild?
It's definitely wild.
And actually, I don't know if you've
heard of the Green Knights or, I mean,
they're the Knights of the Summer Court now,
but they came from our world,
and they've been here for a while.
I've heard of the Army of the Summer
Court that came through the portal
from the material plane.
I kind of fill them in on my dad in that whole situation.
So yeah, you guys chat, you guys are kind of sneaking
through the forest.
I think again, I wanna make it clear that I'm not trying
to eavesdrop on him, so ideally I don't hear his conversation.
You just wanna make trees like not getting like
betrayed or killed.
I just wanna be keeping an eye out for predators
but actively not listening to his conversation.
We're shaperoni.
You're shaperoni, right?
Exactly, but we're giving him a space.
So you guys are ducking between the trees.
And you see, Tehran takes you into the forest to this cave.
And you see this owl bear.
Like the name implies, it looks like a bear.
It's this huge like five or 600 pound creature
with brown fur and then the face of an owl
and you see it has in its beak this giant dire eagle
that looks like it probably weighs like 30 or 40 pounds
and it is just like ripped out of the sky
and it's like ripping at it and eating it.
And Terran goes, is it amazing?
That's nasty, but it's beautiful.
It's beautiful.
Yeah, it's so freaking dope.
The savagery of it is dope.
Yeah, like how dope that is, it's that old man.
I want to talk about some really eloquent things.
It's fucking gnarly.
But you guys are just like two teenagers,
just like looking at this bear eat something,
just being like, that's right.
Yeah, that rips, that kicks ass.
That freaking kicks so much ass, man.
Do I get a sense that the albear is like,
threatening?
I mean, obviously it is, but like,
the albear doesn't seem to be like
on to your presence there like you guys are standing back a little bit it seems
to be like well fed it is currently eating this giant eagle so it's not like
starving and you guys are just like watching from a distance and this, um, a laddron you can assume has a good enough knowledge
of like nature to, um, you guys are both pretty quiet.
You're a green teen, he's an a laddron.
Okay.
Okay, so we shouldn't get any closer though.
Or should we?
Oh, should we try to go in the cave and touch the wall?
I mean, you haven't done that yet? Should we try to go in the cave and touch the wall?
I mean, you haven't done that yet? No, my dad won't let me get close.
He says that while albarrers won't actively attack
someone unless they're starving,
they will defend their nest.
So I...
I missed you step in. We see Bev disappear and we're like,
jerk, jerk, jerk, jerk, jerk.
Bev, you disappear.
You go past this albare and you are in the shallow cave and you hear the sounds of little like hoots.
Oh, and you go in and there are little baby owl bears in there.
And mama is starting to walk back in with the hawk.
I hide myself.
I, hmm, what would I hide?
Oh, what's in there?
You can either hide around in the corner
or you can like misty step back out.
It's kind of up to you.
Let me misty step back out.
Okay.
I've got enough spells to do that.
So you misty step in.
Uh huh.
You see these are...
I grab something while I'm there.
Okay, great.
I'll say these are albears.
So they're...
Right.
So you grab like a little albear baby feather.
You misty step back out as Mama's coming back in
with this big direhawk, and Terran sees you just flash
and appear back in and he goes, you can face step.
It's kinda like that.
I wish I could face step.
I mean, that seems really cool.
No, this is what you just did is awesome.
Yeah, but you went in an Al Bear cave, that's nuts.
It makes me super nauseous when I do it.
Oh, that's okay.
Yeah, I can't do it
I'm sure you what was it like in there? I mean it was adorable. There were some like little cubs in there
You got between Al bear and and and or a cubs
Is that bad?
You're like the fucking bravest dude I've ever met. I don't know. I hang out with some pretty brave folk
I feel like a winger sometimes
It's cool man.
You seem cool to me.
That's thanks.
It's nice to hear that.
Do you want me to draw you?
Yeah.
That'd be great.
Samoonshine.
Moonshine and Hardwood.
You guys are watching my-
I pass Moonshine the flask.
Ha ha.
Yeah, what are you guys doing meanwhile? We cut over to Hardwood and Moonshine the flask. Yeah, what are you guys doing meanwhile?
We cut over to hard one in Moonshine.
We're sitting in uncomfortable silence.
I think we're just saying like,
you know, it's nice to see young love.
Yeah.
If that's what's happening, it doesn't need to be happening,
but it's nice.
Like, don't you all remember like first time
you like felt those feelings or? or yeah the first and only time I
Right. I know I keep forgetting you're so committed
My heart belongs to one. Yes, to Gemma. Yeah. Yeah, that must be nice to have like such
confidence in who you chose. Yeah, I think it is nice if she weren't dead. That would be kind of like ideal.
Yeah, I guess that is sort of the hairpin and in.
Yeah, but you know, like she said that we could have
kind of like an open thing while she's dead.
So I think when it kind of see what's up,
like he saw me and Triss.
I wasn't really ready to do anything.
Like even it didn't matter how much you wanted to be with me,
it was just another way of time.
There was something about those trisses that they just like,
they just felt like one time things, you know?
Yeah, oh yeah.
And I could see that you felt that from them.
And you were like, I don't need to engage with this.
So you're just like a casual question.
It really seemed like you got that dress to the edge. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Right, yeah, so it's kind of like, you know, there's a lot of sensitive parts on a woman.
Right. Which ones?
It's different for a woman.
So you kind of got it like fiddle around and figure out the sensitive parts on each specific woman.
Exactly.
Yeah.
You've been there.
Yep, yep, yep.
So we come back over to that. No, don've been there. Yeah, you've, you've, you've. So we come back over to...
No, don't come back.
So we come back over to Terran and Beverly.
And you see, you guys spend a little time.
You guys are chatting and everything.
Terran does this really cool portrait of you,
like fighting an owl bear.
Whoa! And he rips it out of his little sketchbook and he hands it to you.
And you see he looks a little sad and he goes,
you know, for you to take with you,
whenever you, you know, go off on like whatever adventure
you're gonna go on or.
Hey, you're about to go on so many amazing adventures
yourself.
You got a whole book to fill.
That's true.
How long are you in town?
I think just for the night. You see he tries to kiss you. Here's what I do. I take the little feather
that I stole from the cave and I kind of gently put it in his hair. And like as he goes to like
kiss, I kind of like bring him in and like just
kiss like his ear and then I whisper like I can't I'm sorry there's someone else
and it just wouldn't be right and I do a lot of things in this world but above all
I try to do right and it's so hard it's so hard I see he pulls back and he goes, see, Joe, go on her foot.
Oh, it's cool, it's raging.
It's cool.
Ha, ha, ha.
Teraon pulls back and he just like brushes her back.
She's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no, totally.
We should go back.
We should get going back.
We should go back.
Yeah, this is fun though.
This was good.
I'm sorry.
No, I'm sorry too.
I'm sorry too.
You see, you're just really cool, okay? You're really cool, man. This is amazing. You have to sign this. No, I'm sorry to I'm sorry to you see just really cool. Okay. You're really cool
man. This is amazing. You have to sign this. Uh, yeah, of course. Uh, he signs it. Hey, you know, I have fun on
Oh, your adventures everything. It's I get some on the mouth and then I miss you step away
Give him a quick pack. Uh, then you miss you step away. Uh, you appear. You see Moonshot in hard one sharing a flask
He's definitely I you appear you see Moonshot in hard ones sharing a flask
In like a tree nearby
You're in the woods can you can have a flask? Yeah, yeah light loft just a light loft You know y'all too. I gotta be honest. I'm a bit
Envious you both got someone in your life that you love and that's your person. I mean I
I feel like I, I feel like Irland deserves a chance. Like we just got started.
I love it.
I think it's wonderful.
And I don't know.
It's, it's hard to be away and a lot of things are hard.
I saw your bone or over here.
I was so proud.
It's so bright.
It's got to be your Elven ice. I was so proud. It's so bright. It's so bright.
It's gotta be your Elven eyesight.
It's not that big.
Ha ha ha.
Let's just, let's just go home.
Okay.
I'm just saying, am I doing something wrong
that I don't have my person?
What?
Or is my person, Paul Paul?
Wait.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Paul, my start's licking your face.
You're doing something, right?
God bless you, but I mean, you know, there's limitations to our relationship, but I'm
shoving back in my bib.
You've got people.
Yeah, that's dope.
Okay, alright, okay.
I think the only problem is that you've got too much and it's hard to, you know, know
how to focus.
You're like, you're swimming in a big sea.
Women can't have it all.
But maybe they can.
Oh, guess we're going to find out.
I trip. Do I meet anyone? I'm just kidding. All right, let's head back. Let's head back.
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I think we got it too.
The guy that's sitting up by the albert cave,
he's, I'm gonna watch him for a second,
make sure he's good.
He's cool, he doesn't get eaten by the albert.
He just starts like walking back.
And does he have a boner?
He looks.
If he does, I can't see if we're here.
Damn.
I think he did, he was a teen and he made a move.
And so he's just like, oh man.
It's true.
Like it's part for the course, but damn, I feel bad.
Beth, I know that you're feeling some, like, feelings of, like, pressure and guilt
and whatnot, but what you should really be feeling is, like, holy shit, I'm hot shit.
I mean, yeah, we freaking Frenched.
Yeah.
For, like, a quick sec.
And we didn't, you know, like, transport an entire army to the Feywild while doing it,
but it still felt really good.
My man.
I think we got to do three separate beds tonight.
Okay, three separate beds, three separate beds.
So you guys go back to like the hall and Princess Jovier hooks you guys up with your own
rooms.
If you guys, you see Princess Jovier goes, of course I will provide each of you with
your own room.
Just this once.
She each of you guys.
I think that has to fap.
I understand, but moonshine is a little sad.
You see Papa is just, me and moonshine just talked about how we don't have people in the world
Yeah, it's like one of those things where you guys are in you guys are essentially in like a hotel
So it's like Bev goes in his room
It is just kind of like looking out into the sunset. No, I'm looking at the picture of yourself
Are you
Are you fapping to yourself or are you fathom that. And you fathom that. Or are you fathom to yourself or are you fathom to brush strokes?
Is the question.
I don't think I'm allowed to answer that question.
I want to look out my window and play my woodblock, principally.
I would like to put on a brave face for Paw Paw, but as soon as he falls asleep, I'm gonna have a I'm gonna cast silence on myself
And have a private cry. Oh, I thought it was yeah
You see papa is rolling around in this big bed like not knowing what to do without people on every side
He's just like he's trying to get comfortable, but like this just see he usually scrambles himself to sleep
Yeah, what's uh? What's the Belnor and Bev situation?
That's the fucking hour, right?
That fucking fucking, you guys wake up
like a few hours later and you guys find,
along with a bunch of other,
mostly I would say the goblins are more shit shows
in the Aladdin, the Aladdin kind of like hold their shit
and keep like a steady drunk, but the goblins are more shit shows in the Aladdin, the Aladdin kind of like hold their shit and keep like a steady drunk,
but the goblins like get a little wasted.
You guys find Balnor and Bev seeing your past
out in the hall downstairs.
That's nice.
That's a nice thing to wake up to.
Let him sleep.
Yeah, you guys.
Oh, you know what?
I'm gonna round up a bunch of bacon
and get this haul. Can and get a get this hall
We get a celebration breakfast going. Yeah, we're a celebration breakfast. Who needs a girlfriend? I smell bacon
Put that on a shirt. You start cooking on a little grill
You see the little shaman goblin comes up next to you and starts like duplicating what you're doing to make like enough for everyone
Thank you, good.
Yes.
It is good to have outsiders here.
Seriously, is there like, do you need us to reclaim
some key or something?
It just seems like you want to give us a quest.
No, I serve the autumn course.
How are you with chorizo?
Cause I'm thinking of way more than a chair roast.
Love chorizo, yeah.
Just keeps duplicating all the food you're making.
Hall fills up again on everybody eats.
And people start drinking early.
Mimosas?
Mostly ale, but there are a few Aladdin drinking mimosas.
Okay.
What's the Bloody Mary bar situation?
You can get a very spicy Bloody Mary.
Or, you know, just kind of a basic bloody Mary. I guess I do
whatever my dad does. I'm kind of following his lead. Yeah, he's gonna get a bloody Mary
because he's a little hungover. Yeah, here's the dog.
Here's the dog.
Yeah, here's the dog.
Yeah, here's the dog.
Here's the dog.
Guys, I prepare one for him and it's really silly. Nice. It's got like a pickle and some
olives and an entire slider.
Oh, that's a lot of a koo-chermat, Bill.
That's the style these days.
You see?
He's just like pinching the bridge of his nose and bow-nour.
You make one for bow-nour and both the dad's just like crunch pickles as they just like heave.
Just seeing a hungover dad.
It's just not right.
It's not right, but it's so right.
Yeah, exactly.
What do you guys think?
We, uh, another three or four hours of head out, huh?
I'm ready now.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We don't want to.
Can I?
I feel like maybe we should have a lunch or something, right?
Probably best to.
I don't know.
Hard ones, the one who's probably
going to be piled in this beast.
So if he's feeling right, I say we pluck them from the tree.
Rush.
Yeah.
Can I let's a restoration them?
He let's a restoration them.
The dad's like kick out of their hangovers.
Oh, thanks, bud.
All right, so the goblin hanger?
Yeah, let's do it.
Sweet, you guys exit the keep and head over to the hanger.
The hanger is essentially a giant tent garage made of thick hide.
And as you go inside, you see goblins hard at work rushing around.
You see some of the goblins that were cheering before
at the little flying machine that exploded are using scrap metal from that machine.
Like they've got like charred metal
and are just straight up building another one.
A persistence of humanity or problem living.
And you see that there are the goblins.
There are three other seemingly intact machines here.
There is one that is bigger, almost airship sized.
Probably about 20 feet long.
It looks like a Zeppelin.
There's a big balloon and then a carriage underneath it.
You see a crew of goblins loading supplies onto it
and a goblin with a scarf and a little cap
is like directing traffic. You also see two more
airships. These ones are a bit smaller but could definitely fit all of you guys. These are
propeller-based flying machines. At one of them you see this little goblin woman with a welding
mask and wearing an arcane backpack is powering up this test tube looking thing and on the other one two little goblin
dudes have a door open and are trying to like fix a lever inside.
You're the expert on aerial engineering.
What do you think?
Let's see here.
I think you just got to get just a little this way.
You're going over to like the dudes with a lever?
Yeah, I'm going to see if I can help them pull the lever.
What'd get out of here? Don't touch the levers.
I just think you know about flying machines.
Hey, he knows everything about-
Do you know everything about flying machines?
He does. He wrote the dang book. I do a personal-
Oh, yeah?
I put it on my hat again.
Oh, wow. Captain's hat. Very cool, man.
Thank you. Might have tried this lever.
Go ahead and give me a persuasion check.
All right. Can I do it?
Can I hype him up?
No, he's the one who went in.
Nat 20.
Nat 20.
Why?
I really hope that I can roll this well when I touch the lever.
That's a hell of a hat.
I don't know, man.
Yeah, sure.
Why not?
We haven't tried with it.
You look in, you see eight levers.
Which one do you pull?
Oh, good.
I pull the fourth lever.
You see the top propellers start to whip around
and the thing starts to raise the go,
like what the fuck are you doing man?
Get out of the fuck you doing!
I flip it back.
You flip it back down.
Get out of here dude.
I'm just fucking looking at you guys.
What the fuck with us?
I pull the fifth lever.
You see that the left propeller starts going the thing starts spinning in circles.
Scars, stars. They're trying to see the back. What are you doing? I'm so sorry.
Are you sent to the they send you over from the competition? No, I'm. We send you over here.
Huh? We are actually sent by someone a little above Gwee and
I pull out the letter of introduction that we were given
Which we should have done from the start. Yeah, you pull out this letter of introduction
And these two guys look at it
And then they look at each other excitedly and then they look back at you guys and they go
They look at each other excitedly, and then they look back at you guys and they go, Ha, a fever for the princess.
A job for bun and bean.
I'm bun.
This is bean.
We can take you guys.
Oh.
Let's go show this to the lady with the welding hat on.
What?
Why would you show it to Gwe?
She used to work for us.
We fired her.
You guys were a bunch of assholes to us.
Why would you...
Why would you come and start touching our levers?
You started touching our levers. Did you have to touch our levers? Kim started touching our levers. You started touching our levers.
Did you have to touch our levers?
There should be one lever.
There's too many levers as well.
There's eight levers.
There's eight levers and any good flying machine.
Just real quick.
Does eight levers and quees flying machine?
Walk me through.
What do each of these, and just prove to me
that I should trust you.
I am the pilot.
If you don't trust me,
I'm gonna tell me I'm just gonna walk over
when you're in our way.
I dare you.
I dare you. Okay, we walk over to the way.
Yeah.
What?
Go out the way, go out the way.
Hey, Gwee.
You see Gwee is charging this battery looking thing.
She's got a welder's mask on.
She pulls it up and goes, what?
What are you doing?
I'm working here.
Oh, everybody's high strong.
Yeah.
What's up?
Hey, Gwee, here's a letter from the princess.
She looks at it.
You see Bun and Bean have walked over.
That's our contract. We're doing a job for the princess and Gwee goes, You see Bun and Bean have walked over. That's our contract.
We're doing a job for the princess and we go,
so nope, actually, it's my job now.
I'm taking them to the Winter Court.
And they all start to like fight with each other.
We fired you.
You stole my ideas.
We fired you.
I'll take you there.
I'll get you there in.
We'll go away.
We'll go.
We'll go with whoever walks us through
what each of the levers to.
I'll do it!
Uh, Gwee says it slightly before being says it.
I know what they do, Mooshan.
Oh, okay, never mind, never try.
All right, I think bad.
Who do you want to go with?
Hey, how about this?
Let's shark tank it.
Yeah, you know what?
You're right.
No, I don't even think we shark tank it.
Okay.
This is Hard One's area of expertise.
I was stepping on toes to even interject hard one.
You're right.
No, you, you, you, you honor me.
Ah, I, we, tell me a little bit about this ship.
She goes in the cockpit.
Hard one, you enter this little flying machine
cockpit with her.
You see, bun and bean like jump into like intercept you.
Probably like Bound or Bev
Senior just like hold them back
Hard one you enter this little flying machine cockpit. You see there are a few seats for passengers
Then a seat up front for like a pilot and a co-pilot. It's helicopter-esque
But a little bit bigger
Summer between a blimp and a helicopter. There's a big glass window in the front and little
Circular almost port holes for the passengers to look out of helicopter, there's a big glass window in the front and little circular almost
port holes for the passengers to look out of. You see an extremely disorganized
system of buttons and levers. There are eight levers total. In the back, behind the
passenger seat, you see this big test tube looking things. God bless this mess.
And you see Gwego's, Okay, so to take off, you activate
the bottom thruster. She points to the first lever. It explodes and shoots you into the air.
Then you activate the rear thruster and it shoots you forward. She points to the second lever.
Then you release the wings to glide. She points to the third lever to To stay afloat, you use the top propellers,
she points to the fourth lever, or just keep hitting the rear thruster to go
forward. To turn, you alternate between turning on and turning off the left and
right propellers. She goes to fifth for left, she goes to sixth for right, and those
are attached to the wings. If you pull the seventh lever, the propellers will
fully retract into the
flying machine. That way you won't damage them when you use the thruster. You cannot have the
propellers out when you are thrusting forward. I cannot stress that enough and then the eighth lever
is for the balloon in case all goes to hell and you need to just float to safety.
Sweet and tell me about this.
to hell and you need to just float to safety. Sweet and tell me about this.
Two?
Oh, two.
Right, that's the battery.
So that is powered by I charge it with magic spells.
That's what I was doing up there with that little welder,
with that little photon pack.
I was charging it up.
So you get a nice and charged with spells
and that's what powers the thruster.
So fastest way to go is to just use thrusters
and the wings and you glide.
You start to sink down a little bit but you're gliding through the air.
You will crash eventually, so you do eventually need to use either the propellers or the balloon.
The propellers will take you at medium speed.
Balloon will take you at the slowest speed, but you'll stay alive.
Okay?
Yep, back on the material plane, I fly the SS Stormborn.
I don't know if you ever heard of it.
Never heard of it at all.
Cool, everybody up there has.
Should we...
Are we doing this? We're doing this gang? Yeah, shall we yeah? I trust you hard one
You seemed very passionate in your delivery there, so I see fun and bean are both like screaming
No, no, no, we'll take them we'll take them and they these are the guys that fired you after stealing your ideas
Yeah, I'm the one who came up with this charger back here. She points to this like,
welder gun thing that she was using to charge the battery.
All right, you gonna come with us?
Yeah, I have to fly the thing.
I can fly the thing.
Can you fly it?
Oh, I can fly it.
I am not gonna come if you fly it.
Well, most airplanes have two pilots,
so I think- Why don't you be the co-pilot?
You can be the co-pilot. I'm not gonna be the co-pilot? You can be the co-pilot.
I'm not gonna be a co-pilot.
Well, both be co-pilots.
I'm gonna be the pilot.
All right, pilot one and pilot two.
You can be pilot two.
You'll be pilot two.
You can be pilot two.
All right, let's do it.
Let's shake on pilot two.
All right, one, two, three, shake your pilot two.
You're pilot two.
Okay, ready, go.
You see, she just kicks a bun and bean in the face. She just full on
Attacks them to leave and they scurry away. All right. I'll take you guys to the winter court
This is really gonna do a lot for my reputation really. You're not in great standing at the court already. Oh, I mean I look
I am a great pilot in a great engineer ships here have a 50 failure rate, whereas I only have a 40% failure rate,
only four times out of the last 10 times,
I've tried to get up, has my ship explode.
Don't you stuff like JetBlue or something?
JetBlue?
No, don't know what that is.
Okay.
Can I real quick?
What do you think you're gonna do with this favor
from the princess?
Just wanna kind of suss out your bag.
Favorite from the princess?
Ah, ha, ha.
You see those guys?
She points to the bigger Zeppelin with the big crew.
Those guys get all the good contracts
because they've got a big ship.
I want a big ship.
Oh, that's great.
Yeah, I love somebody trying to up jump.
They're cool, right?
You're just trying to get out from under a toxic workplace.
That's right, fat.
They're stealing my ideas.
You have any secret compartments on here?
One of my companions might have some portied like to hide.
Oh yeah, you guys got ported?
Yeah, I got to come to port.
Yeah, I got my boys' life.
She goes back, she opens up a bunch of compartments.
There's some goblin port in there.
Hot.
I'm not going to take some of that.
I'm not going to take a peek at it.
Yeah, whatever you're into.
Me and Mooch, I can both go to grab the same magazine.
Well, I teach you how to read with the goblin port out. Yeah, whatever you're into. Me and Mooch, I both, I've got to grab the same magazine. We both, I teach you how to read
with the goblin's portal.
Yeah, you guys relax.
You guys relax.
I got this.
I'm not gonna relax.
I'm trapped in one here.
So much.
We should read it.
Yeah, let's do it.
It's just so much honey.
All right.
Let's do this gang.
All right.
All right.
All right, everybody sit in.
Buckle, you see belts?
Yeah.
You guys all sit in. Hard one sits in the co-pilot seat.
She sits next to all of the levers.
I make sure that Balnor and my dad have a barf bags,
just in case.
Do you have barf bags?
Can I look through, can I look through like an airplane safety
brochure, and it shows like a woman giving herself
an oxygen mask before her possum.
Yeah.
And I'm like, if I'd ever do that.
Yeah, do you have like a quirky safety video you could show us?
Yeah, you see she hands you a like VHS tape and at the exact same time pulls the first lever.
And immediately there's an explosion underneath you guys and you shoot off into the air still in the hanger. You guys take a piece of the hanger with
you. You rip through the tent and carry a giant piece of it into the sky. The
dads are screaming all sweet peeing. Hey, this is normal, right? The tent, part of
the tent is ripped off and covers the glass so you can't see it all
what's going on inside.
You see her fiddling with the levers.
She pulls the second one and a thruster shoots you forward.
You rock it forward into the sky.
The hide of the tent ceiling finally flies off.
You see below you the autumn trees,
whizzing by as you make your way quickly and
efficiently towards the winter court. You see behind you as she hit this thruster, this
battery turned on. It's got like this Tesla coil type thing. It looks like electric. It's
all powered on and it's going. But suddenly as you guys rock it forward, you guys are going
so much faster than you go in the airship.
It seems like goblins have
kind of like a nomish tinkering thing going,
but they do everything fast and dangerous.
So you guys are going extremely fast.
And suddenly you see the battery in the back,
this Tesla coil looking thing begins flickering.
And she goes, ah shit, that's what I was doing.
When I was up with the welding mask, I was charging this thing. I forgot to fully charge it. Ah, don't worry, don't worry, begins flickering. She goes, ah shit, that's what I was doing. When I was up with the welding mask,
I was charging the stick.
I forgot to fully charge it.
Ah, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry.
You're a great pilot.
Yay, that's fine, that's fine.
I'm gonna need to power it manually.
Don't worry about it.
Do you need help powering it?
No, I'm fine, I'm fine.
Yeah, you see she gets up.
You see she takes this proton pack off the wall
and puts it on like a backpack
and begins shooting the battery with waves of energy.
You guys are going so fast.
You see she's released the wings and you guys are gliding.
So you see her like gradually going down but you shot thousands of feet into the air.
And you see she's kind of casually talking to you guys.
You just rocket through the sky and she goes, I guess it wasn't charged enough.
See the propellers are mechanical but the thrusters they require magic energy.
So you need to cast spells into it.
I guess I forgot to get it all the way,
but it's not a big deal, though.
I've got this Arcane Pro-Ton pack that could do the job,
and it'll be charged in no time.
It's slightly less stable than a normal spell,
but you see her backpack explodes,
and she blows out a side of the flying machine.
You see her way in the distance release a parachute.
You guys see a emergency alarm start going off.
You see all the levers.
I put the oxygen mask on pop-offers.
No, you're not supposed to.
You see all of the levers switched to the off positions.
The wings go in, the thruster stop going,
the propellers go in, and you guys are just this giant ball.
You're about a thousand feet in the air,
and you start falling, everyone roll initiative.
Oh, dear me.
You know, I was starting to think
that we had made way too many good decisions of late.
Yeah, we were so smart.
Oh, I'm gonna reroll that one.
I get to reroll the one on initiative two, right?
Uh-huh.
Great.
12.
I assumed you were going to drive, so I did not pay attention.
I think I did.
15.
Oh, wait, to the lever shift?
Fuck no, I didn't pay attention to that.
OK, so Moonshine, you act first.
You see, she has just been blown out the side of the thing.
Was she safe, right? She's safe. You see her, like, she has not been blown out the side. Well, she's safe, right?
She's safe.
You see her, like, she has not a worry in the world.
It's just like to her, this was a failed experiment.
And you guys are all plummeting to your deaths.
You heard her saying, explaining the different levers,
whether or not you actually listen to what they did,
you can test them out on your turn.
You can pull up to two levers on your turn.
You can do one as an action, one as a bonus action,
or you can do something to the battery.
You see that the battery has gone cold.
I didn't get the Google Doc.
Oh, I'm gonna put a spell slot into the battery.
Okay, what are you doing?
I'm gonna put a third level spell into it.
Sweet.
So you go ahead and you cast a spell,
so you guys see,
I actually do have daylight stocked.
So, or now lightning bolt, that's way more bad.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I'm just shooting a fucking bolt to lightning to it.
So yeah, you guys, suddenly the whole flying machine
goes dark, moonshine, just like super quick.
Almost as soon as it happens, puts the air mask on,
Bafa, and then shoots a lightning bolt into this battery.
You see the battery powers back up.
That is airship's turn.
You guys are a thousand feet in the air.
I'm gonna roll two Dean 100s to see how far it falls.
150 feet.
This seems like a really anticlimactic way
to kill all of us, Murph.
That is hard once turned.
If the battery's back on, I'm gonna flip the first lever.
So you flick the first lever and now that the battery is on,
you guys do shoot up.
I'm going to go ahead and roll 2D 100 to see how far you go up.
You go 60 feet back up.
Okay, that's good.
So you are shooting up.
But you do see that the battery then starts flickering again.
All right, so we gotta get the wings out.
The wings out or the balloon up?
Yeah.
I think the wings are seven.
My only concern is that the balloon,
what's going on?
You guys don't have time for all this.
Hard one, what do you do?
Bonus action.
Seven.
Flip number seven.
Flip number seven.
You flip number seven.
Nothing happens.
You hear like the propellers up top.
You remember at the last second that that was what makes the propellers retract.
They're already retracted.
You just hear gears going up there.
That is the end of your turn.
That is Bev's turn.
Okay.
I shout the hard one.
Hard one, what should I try?
Fuck me, three.
Okay.
Bev, you pull the third lever and you see the wings do come out.
Nice.
And you guys are shooting up and like the force of the wings
are like flapping.
Hit number two, that's a thruster.
Wait, should I turn off one?
Oh yeah, turn off one.
I turn off one. Cool, you turn off one. I turn off one cool
You pull off one and you guys begin free falling like a
Fucking ride at the boardwalk do I have any more actions or no you did two things okay?
that is
Bound or and Bev seniors turn I'm gonna say these dudes are just freaking the fuck out
Are they like hugging each other just?
I say these dudes are just freaking the fuck out. Are they like hugging each other?
They're just,
so it falls for another 110 feet.
So we are at 850 feet.
That is moonshine turn again.
I'll just put a fourth level spell in there.
Sweet, you put a fourth level spell in it.
You see the battery is now like very bright.
Hmm.
And all that is the airship again, airship is going to fall 130 feet.
You guys are now at 720.
That is hard ones turn.
Flip number two.
That's a thruster.
You flip number two.
The wings are out.
You guys fly forward again.
You guys this little goblin sized hole. all this wind is getting sucked out of it.
Ballonor and Bev Seenor just hanging onto each other,
pop-os, just hanging onto the little mask
that he's wearing.
Hurry.
Don't worry, this is all quite normal.
Keep breathing.
Hard one, you still have a bonus action.
But so you guys have the wings up
and you're firing forward.
Are we going the right direction?
So you seem to be,
and you see, yeah, Bev's senior like goes up and goes,
oh, I guess I cut it all the way around.
Oh, okay, yeah, yeah, we're going,
I mean, this is generally the right direction.
We're south, we need to go west.
Great, so let's keep up,
can I use my next action to try to patch up the whole where she
Exploded through sure okay, um, so we'll say that is Bev's turn
Okay, so we're good. We're good. We're good. We're guys you guys right now
I'm gonna say we can even
Exit this like kind of combat scenario you guys
Don't need to like act on turns necessarily now because you bought yourself sometimes
Okay, I'm going fast as fuck, but the wings are out the propellers aren't up so no propellers are breaking off
But you guys are gliding right now and eventually you are gonna crash if you don't
Do our balloon do or do your balloon or do the propellers?
I guess I'll help hard one patch the hole What are you guys doing to patch the hole? don't do our balloon do or do your balloon or do the propellers.
I guess that'll help hard one patch the hole.
What are you guys doing to patch the hole?
Cause you're not gonna be able to like fully, fully fix it.
Yeah, I'm just like laying any planks that we can across it.
So it doesn't suck anybody out.
Okay, can I like use like vines like nature's wrath?
Yeah, okay, you throw up a nature's wrath and it covers it
and restores kind of the air pressure
so people aren't getting sucked out.
Yes.
And while Bev has it magically kind of sealed,
you guys are able to just, you know,
you find like a couple of planks or something
and you nail it up there
so it's just kind of like haphazard thing.
Good to see you.
You guys are going fast as fuck
and the ship is like kind of descending
and you guys are eventually
gonna like just like crash into a forest going so fast.
So we have to slow down or we have to rise again unless we're are we close?
Uh, hey Beth.
Yeah, Beth number four.
Uh, it's probably, you know, uh, as far as like walking it would probably take you like,
uh, on like horseback or something to take you like 10 or 11 or 12 days.
The way we're going right now,
it'll probably take a day, spin like five minutes,
so we should probably come up with something
that's gonna last a little longer than this.
Okay, I'm gonna flip the first switch
and see if we can go up again.
There you go.
You flip the first switch.
You guys do have enough in the battery to shoot up again,
because Moonshine has put so many spells into this battery. So you guys shoot back up, buys ya a little bit more time, but the
wings are out. So there's a lot of like air pressure as you guys go up. So I'm gonna
do a roll to see if it breaks or if they take any damage. They do take a little
bit of damage. You see like the end of one of the wings breaks off as you guys
shoot off. It doesn't appear to like have affected the propellers
or like really fucked with it,
but it's like proof that you can't just forever
keep shooting up and up and up.
Cool, so you guys shoot up,
you buy yourself a little time,
you guys are gliding down,
you're still heading in the right direction,
but now you're tilting a little bit to the right
because a little bit of your wing
has broken off in the back.
Okay, can I cast Warding Wind underneath this broken,
underneath this broken wing?
You mean like above it to kind of like equalize it?
Yeah, just basically using a strong wind,
20 miles per hour blows around you.
So I'd have to run out to the wing and stand on it.
Is that what you would like to do?
Yeah.
Okay, Mooch, do you wanna do like spider climb or anything or are you just gonna what you would like to do? Yeah. Okay, Moonshine, do you want to do like spider climb
or anything, or are you just going to do decks
saving throws to go?
Like you are going so fast right now.
You might just get bored off.
I guess I'll do spider climb and warning win.
Okay, we should put a rope on you.
Yes.
So I'll do, I'll cast spider climb on myself
so that I can be real sticky on those wings.
And then I'm going to run out and use warning win
to sort of stabilize.
You guys see Moonshine goes out on the wing, Bevin Hardwan Tyrope to her.
Moonshine, you use a put like a little wind over this one wing that's like
tipped up and set it. So you guys are like flying balanced.
There we go. Is there something wrong with the propellers? Can I inspect?
There's nothing wrong with the propellers. They just haven't been deployed. Yeah, they can't be going.
You remember her telling you that they can't be going at the same time as the thrusters because
they'll bust off, but if you stop the thrusters and get the propellers going, then you can travel
at like a medium speed. And that's the more like sustainable. Oh, so maybe let's do that. Yeah.
Okay.
You guys were shooting forward and up.
Yeah, right.
Okay.
So now we're gonna turn both of those things off.
Cool.
You turn both of them off like a ride at a boardwalk.
You start dropping.
All right, so we'll get Moody Shind back in.
Cool.
You yanker back in.
And flip lever number seven.
Leather number seven. Per propellers on the top retract,
they're already in, you hear just like,
machinery ups up there already in,
so they're already in, you just hear like,
so there's another lever that does the propellers.
I thought that eight retracted them.
It's not five or six.
It must be three or four, is for,
now three and four are for left and right.
Are we no, you already, four, four,. You know what one, two and three are.
Yeah, and we, so it's four.
So you pull the fourth lever and the top propeller goes.
And like a helicopter, you guys start bobbin in the air.
Okay.
But you guys still have the wings up, so it's like doing this like weird, like back and
fourth thing.
You guys start spinning and circles.
Okay, so we retract the wings.
With what lever?
Eight.
Wait, is it eight?
Does eight retract the wings?
We just did it.
We should do that.
Now we haven't retracted the wings ever, I don't think.
I don't think we're.
We extended the wings.
Now I, okay.
You turn right and left by the wing just like goes away.
Wasn't that the way?
Yeah, you deploy and retract the propellers
on the wings.
So yeah, so we flipped the, we flipped our five and six.
Yeah, five and six.
Cool.
So you guys pull five and six propellers go on the wings.
There we go.
And you guys start moving forward at a steady pace.
Great.
And yeah, you guys, you guys have cracked it.
You get a feel.
You start to get a feel for this flying machine.
Now essentially, you guys are in this very...
So now I move into the captain seat.
Now hard one shifts over into the captain seat.
As you guys all make your way to the winter court,
you see that the beautiful,
autumnal forest below you begins to shift
and change to a wintery landscape
and the trees die as you fly towards the winter court.
Really wish I brought a jacket.
And that's where we'll enter session.
Woo!
Whoa!
What a rush.
What a rush in a lot of ways.
Multiple rushes. Oh my goodness. could be a very hot pose still wearing his
He was he was nervous her second there. I know we got to like deconstruct this kiss on the short
Oh, yeah, this kiss this this love triangle. It's so yeah, we'll talk about this more in the short rest, but um, I had designed
this Yeah, we'll talk about this more in the short rest, but I had designed this
Father Sun duo for you guys to possibly
Run into on the path to the autumn court and then I didn't incorporate them
But then once you were looking for people at the bar. I was like I'll put the cute in there
Wow, I want to ask a lot of questions about that. Yes me too. Cool guys. You little binks
Oh, I'm ask a lot of questions about that. Yes, me too. Cool, guys. You little binks. Yeah.
Oh, I'm not a slut.
Guys, we'll talk more about Bev's salacious love life.
So though, patreon.com slash nadpod, n-a-d-d-d-p-o-d,
don't sing yet.
Or we got some things to plug, guys.
Watch hot date, mean, and mainly sketch show.
It's on Netflix.
You can also read our book.
It's called, Hey You Up,
how to turn your booty call and turn emergency contact.
It's available on Amazon and on Audible.
It's also available in Spanish.
Yeah, it is.
What's the title in Spanish, you remember?
It's my gustas.
Yeah.
Para siempre.
Yeah, it's like I like you a lot, right?
I think it's like I like you for always.
Yeah.
It is cute. That's what they call you a lot, right? I think it's like I like you for always. Yeah, it's so cute.
It is cute.
That's what they call it a romance link, which guys.
Yeah, honestly, that cover,
there's a little cartoon versions of us.
It's really cute.
It's really cute.
Yeah, call it all, what do you got to plug?
I'm gonna plug Bixidy Green this week.
I think by the time this episode comes out,
our first season will have fully wrapped.
Dang, so go check it out. You can get on the Disney now app I think but also it's on Amazon and iTunes
I think it only gets better
I think it's a really sweet show and I am so excited for people to see season two
But yeah, I think it's a great little family show if you've got kids if you have like you know
Friends if you are alone. it's good for any of those
instances.
If you have friends, kids, or are alone.
If you have a long distance relationship, or if you're a significant other, died in front
of you, or if you're alone, and you only have a possum. So you're having a lot of trouble.
Some for everyone.
How do people send us stuff, call?
You can do that at 1920, Hillhurst Avenue, number 2-2-2,
Loose for these California, 900-27.
We love getting fun little trinkets in the mail.
I've got a lot of stuff at the PO box right now.
I think that I got to check on.
Really amazing that the PO box is 2 2 2 that was not it is no I
Never put that together. I think we've talked about it before but yes, it's constantly amazing
I must have been checked the fuck
Jake what do you get to plug?
Beer Doyle beer Doyle every week brother sister co-com
Boyle sister mister for those of us who don't have beards Blood, beard oil, beard oil every week. Brother sister co, dot com, boil.
Sister mister for those of us who don't have beards,
but instead have luxurious bodies.
Your food is looking very radiant.
Well, I actually mostly put it on my body, so.
Right.
Your body's looking too, but I'm not looking.
Jake, I've been shaved in like four days.
You think I could put the beard oil on this
and it would just like make it a full beard?
I think it would help.
Would it fill up the patch under my lower lip?
It absolutely would.
Wow, look at that.
Wow.
You heard it here first.
You heard it here first, folks.
I'm Keen Indian now.
Guys, follow us on Twitter at CHMRIFASME.
AdCaldi is called well at EXPERT is Emily
and at J. Kerwin's is Jake
and tweet about the show using hashtag NADPod. That n-a-d-d-p-o-d.
We are we are the youth of the nation.
We are we are the youth of the nation.
It's the end of the show everybody and that means we need to shout out our benevolent
Council of Elders.
Y'all keep us afloat.
Startin' with Brad D, the only Pebble Pot that is in Craven.
Brad spends so much time checking under his cousin's beds for monsters, he decided to just
start sleeping there to save time.
Come, Fee.
Jay Loma 72, aka Steelbreaker.
Hard one's gym inspiration.
Steelbreaker is so strong, they have to use smart bells which are like dumb bells but incredibly complicated.
Dylan B. a sword wielding wizard surrounded by a floating army of blades at all times.
The swords make dating hard but Dylan's got a blind date with a wizard surrounded by floating
shields this weekend so fingers crossed. Danny P. Bohumia's resident artist painted hard one
senior portrait after Dwarf and age. Also paints a weekly comic strip
in the Iron Forge Times
about a powerful warrior cat named Ulfgar field.
Tom P, Father of the Realm,
and serenader of Sleeping Babies.
Tom can also serenade dogs so that they won't puke
during long car trips,
but it has yet to master cats keep at it, Tom.
Spencer, Cask, Brew, patron elder of libations,
ale maker to gods and heroes of Bahomia
like, Spencer actually invented hit a chino ale, but decided to let the Kyuchi brewery
take credit for it out of the goodness of their hearts.
Griffin SD, aka the stranger, the silver dragon board, Eldridge Snythe next owner of the
Badgers Pine Inn, also the owner of the Badgers Pine Inn.
That's right, they just bought a new tavern and named it after the first one. The only difference is that this one has jet black toilets,
which is a bold but respectable choice.
Next up, Beardman Dan, the longest beard in all of Bohemia,
and the second longest beard in Trinnyvale
behind the mythical being known only as Whisker Lad Chat.
Scott D, a high elf who, like most of their
glade home youngins, lost their virginity
while temporarily imprisoned in the satchel of penance.
Wow, not as far as time out, but okay.
Hermes W. The Back King. Hermes recently married their oldest son to the daughter of the flying
squirrel king, perhaps at long last there will be peace.
Spartas, author of Spartan notes, the popular series of books that teach you how to be a better
gladiator.
Nice, Adam R. The R-rated assassin. Adam recently started a nipple collection, which even Beverly has to agree was a bit much.
Cassandra MHP, aka Cassandra Max HP. Cassandra has so much HP, they let you know but swallow them whole as a way to exfoliate their skin. Gorgeous. Danielle, the dastardly dame.
Danielle is so dastardly that she photographed Beverly
and Terran so that she can extort him if he ever
runs for born mayor of Hillholm.
You see, aka, how do a frostback MVP of the Giant Wars
crud in the SS Stormborn and fought alongside Alias
and Red, how do a is also an MVP of the Pixie troll wars,
but is trying to keep that on the DL.
Many the mundane accidental deity who got in the way of a lichest spell to reach divinity
when you're super hungry, but all the restaurants nearby are closed, and then all of a sudden
you remember you've got a trade of Joe's frozen pizza in the fridge.
That's many having your back.
Daniel U, aka Multifor the many face magician, they are a master of disguising deception,
but also spend a goddamn fortune on contact lenses.
Jordan DJ Legendary DJ of the realm recently spun at the Bat King's daughter's Bat-bought
Midspa and was a huge hit.
Jeffrey S. Lodar the Fjord, Born of the Sword, and Gamer of Boards.
Jeff recently got the new Legacy Edition of betrayal at House on Haunted Hill, so you know
he's got a fun night in store.
Hell yeah, Cutter W. A high dandy turned Crick bark attack recently introduced the
Cricks to the concept of stairs or as all the youngins call them less fun slide.
John S aka Shupr the Mushroom in order to avenge their lost kin, John is currently the
leading the mushroom people to war against the nearby holiday in continental breakfast bar.
Ryan M. Another frost-winned ram named Ryan, that hard one didn't choose.
They were super bummed to not get picked and often fantasize about whether life would
have been if hard wanted chosen them.
Elena C. A Crick-Half who stayed at the Crick after everyone else left, not out of any
sense of duty, Elena just slept in and woke up very confused.
And you're M. A bully-wob dentist who's struggling financially because all of their kin already
have perfect teeth, thinking of taking up dermatology.
Michael McD, head mixologist at the Blumana Inn, created a drink called the Theala, which
is just a cold glass of milk served on a prayer card.
Victor T. A. K. A. Boundhor's boy whose loving dad was ripped from his family and transported to another world.
Poor Victor is all alone in the crumbling Ottoman Empire.
Justin I and as we scientists who created a drug similar to Arcane but without the magic powers, it's called crap.
Haha. Clayton M.
The Claymation Dalmatian whose workstation was met with decimation that's right, Clayton's desk fell over.
Poor Clayton, the professional, the only lawyer to successfully beat pop-on litigation,
was later disbarred after bribing chipermunk witnesses with brown leaves.
The shame, Jacob C, the first Crick Elf to strap themselves to a rocket and sail to the
moon.
Also, the first Crick Elf to die on the moon. Elena M discovered the Crick version of antibiotics known only as that good mud.
Mmm, you've got to get that good mud, put it on your skin if you happen to break out.
Mick Pux, the amazing code master who programmed our website. Also programmed hard Juan to
feel feelings, which is both beautiful and cruel. Mixed...Mick Pucks is a complicated figure.
Earl and Kathleen L. Two Nannerflies
who will save their people the only way they know how
by aggressively boning mid-air.
Sweet, nice.
Jive G. A rebellious but still deeply religious green teen
who tags, pull or quotes on buildings
and smokes cigarettes lit with radiant light.
Corbin A. Moon shines first kiss.
Also a frog person.
Just rich, the Jack A. Strich.
Jostrich was one of the few non-dwarves
in the Iron Deep Dwarf and Edge and was only able to fit in
by bullying hardwant and delivering epic atomic wedgies.
PJW, aka Charo Arcadia,
Satifling Warlock, whose tale has a mind of its own,
Charo frequently draws looks at the tavern.
When getting into serious political debates with its tales, it's got some funky views on
theala.
Damn you r.m.
Damn you evil twin.
Damn you r.m. is known to ride halflings and jump out of pits instead of fall into them.
Nicholas R.
AKA St. Crickless accidentally gave Joe the praying mantis the ability to speak
when they got insanely drunk and spilled a bunch of toxic crick water on a bug colony.
Jennifer V. A gnome who missed fey cello because they were turned into a honey goblin by
the bear prince hoping they can call tic-cum-aster and get that money back. Destincy, wielder of the fart blade, a powerful L's in blade that was unfortunately cursed
to smell like fart.
That's still wielded.
Devin B, the bodega lord, wields a flail made out of supercans and has a cat familiar
name baloney.
Michael L, professor duttle's younger brother who went to community magic college, isn't
as smart but didn't infect stunk bugs memories so they've got that going for it.
Right, yeah.
Sam H. a fighter who wields nunchucks in one hand and a gun in the other.
People seem a lot more scared of the gun than the chucks but Sam has been working on some
pretty sick trick.
Kelvin Nudel's a pasta elemental can move into any creature's space and deliver 10-D-6
of sizzling vatkasau
damage on a failed save.
Yum!
Sergio Salazar Salaman Sakarias de Sikwan, the seventh of his name, a sexy Peruvian snake
folk with sweet snake patterns on his skin.
Also has a sword named Tom and a shield named Jerry.
Cute! Traylee, the cray face, sometimes after Traylee slays all day, Traylee needs a spa has a sword named Tom and a shield named Jerry. Cute.
Traylee, the cray face, sometimes after Traylee slays all day, Traylee needs a spa
day or at least a steak.
Love a steak.
Aaron G. Master of the banishment spell sends their young instant daycare via banishment
but still has to wait with all the other parents to pick them up.
Eric B. Amerfo who sacrificed their voice for legs to be with moonshine, sort of a reverse little mermaid scenario. Except once Eric surfaced, moonshine
got a little commitment fobeck and stopped returning their calls.
Jury S. A free-fay farmer whose peppermint silos bailed their entire town out of a devastating
lollipop famine. Alucard, a reverse Dracula, Alucard doesn't sleep in a coffin, they sleep
in a birthing tub. Disgusting baby doc, the only doctor to ever perform their own C-section.
Also, the only doctor to ever sue themselves for complication during delivery.
Adam H also doomed their mom to shadow fell for eternity, but only so they could have
the house to throw a sick high school kegger.
Colin G, a geomancer who sells engagement rings that no creature has the power to say no
to. It's a dirty trick, but it really helps that no creature has the power to say no to.
It's a dirty trick, but it really helps with the pre-proposal dritters.
Ryan, hard one's ram, who hard one also accidentally banished into Shadow fell, hang in there little
guy.
Big Buck, pregnant elk moonshine aka moonshine's elk and baby, who will probably have to
be formula fed after all the milk moonshine's been dribblin'. Richard F. and Arcane dealer who's never tried this stuff and doesn't have any interest.
Huge wine snob though.
Taylor S. A. K. A. trashed the traveler, currently backpacking through Bohumia and caught a nasty
case of bedbugs from a hostile anesri.
John W. G. introduced the Crick to sushi.
I mean, the Crick was already eating a lot of things raw, but John WG was first to call it sushi.
Joy McSee, an alcoholic wizard who can conjure anything but the respect of their
estranged children.
Cannibalistic Kathulu sometimes feels guilty eating humans because Holy Shit, did you
know they have best friends? Has no shame about eating their own kid, though.
Sam L, a retired prize nanofly, won three consecutive nanofly derbies before tearing an ACL in their left wing.
Dom R. a Murfolk that's half-mermaid half-orc, aka a Murfolk. Instead of a trident, Dom R
wields a flail made of seaweed and scared puffer fishes.
Sick.
Josh S. the revived cyborg version of Josh the Cobald. Robo Josh also has a Bluetooth setting,
so you can use him as a wireless speaker.
Blitzbrick Demetri, owner of Dorgers Big Borgher, just unveiled a new secret sauce which is just mayonnaise, pickles, and goat man blood.
Caleb Storm, Cup Bearer, and Cords Great Hall. By cup, we mean Jockstrap. Only Caleb is trusted to fit Cords with his protection pre-Rugby Scrum.
Andrew A, the new mayor of the Cri critic recently proposed a referendum on the time-out sack
and whether or not the popular punishment be considered cruel and unusual.
Nicholas C. has starred in every single movie ever made in Bohumia,
currently recording a voice for the forthcoming animation.
It's a bugbear's life.
Matt L. A Goblin insurer who's up to their fucking ears in goblin duragible crash claims.
Targot, owner and proprietor of Bohumi's beloved general store, Targot, where hard one
buys his tight jeans.
Mike H. The Dragonborn Centaur basically looks like a dragon horse awesome.
Kevin S. The Slider, Drider, Rider, a drought-oracnid who loves tiny sandwiches so much they have
recently taken one as their
steed.
Garrett Am a barter performs exclusively on barges, a barge barred.
Matthew E. Immute Barbarian who screams their battle cries in sign language.
Samuel B. Anomish sword fighter who fights with a sword twice their size ferociously adorable.
B. Money, the official currency of the Bazinga Bes, they just released an EP called Mohoney,
Moh Problem.
Till for G, a Glythro who will often disguise himself as a full tree to escape detection.
Guardian of the Light, Zach H. Bahumias only keyblade wielder and the only member of the
Council of Elders who forced Jake to the Kingdom Hearts Wiki.
Thank you for that.
Mitch D. and Enlightened Drunken Master,
Warder Janasi named Dac Alpha, won chords favor
when they hit redemption cup after redemption cup
in the thousand year game of beer pong.
Eventually the game ended at a draw
in Bohumia Rejoice.
Curtis S, a hunter who tried unsuccessfully
to shoot Kaka with an arrow.
Sorry, but Kaka is gonna live forever.
Colton B and Awakened Possumatuse to speak their own native language of
Friar.
So cute! Barrett K, Bohumia's resident milk Somalia. Barrett is known to drink
straight from the utter of a pregnant moose still actible.
Jen's Christian tea and other Trinivalian, Jen's the proud owner of the much more popular
account Jen's Lindell Comedy.
Gage M. A far out server who landed in the realms, first 360 over a dragon turtle,
red.
Montana Monarch ruler of big sky country, they have an annual feast where every guest gets
their own bison both to ride and eat.
Melanie F. A. K. Tiavina, Sarah Jen, an Asimar Paladin who drunkenly swore a blood oath, but forgot what for.
A few weeks ago on a bender they found out, but woke up having forgotten that also.
Rayleigh PS, a goblin airship builder who purposely makes their ships explode so they can
parachute out more of a general and junkie than a builder I suppose.
Erin C, can always C, Erin adds a billion to their perception checks.
Dragon Senpai, a dragon with a dream of being a tap dancer.
We believe in you, Dragon Senpai.
Hannah Ebb, a free fairy who makes giant lollipops that don't have a spell to them.
They're just fricking tasty.
And finally, Bradley E, the human axe.
Bradley doesn't wield a weapon.
They are the weapon.
Bradley is wielded by a jacked galieth. That is this week guys thank you so much for listening you can head on over
to patreon patreon.com slash nad pod to listen to the short rest after show we'll be back
next week with another episode thank you to everybody our listeners and our patreon subscribers
and as always bye sweeties
bye sweeties
and our Patreon subscribers.
And as always, bye, Sweeties.
Bye, Sweeties.