Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 6: Ambushed (The Moonstone Saga)

Episode Date: March 15, 2018

The almost-heroes set up camp with the freshly-rescued and adorably annoying Green Teens, then head back into the keep to search for the dragon's egg. Hardwon faces off against a beefcake rival, Beverly expands his tooth collection, and Moonshine summons a spectral PawPaw.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a Headgun Podcast. Hey everybody, it's Emily here to talk to you about Adam and Eve. Who wants better sex? And who wants to start having better sex immediately? The best way to level up your sex game is to go to Adamaneeve.com right now. Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item, plus free shipping, which includes rush shipping. More than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy.

They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority, plus 100% free shipping with rush processing on your entire order. It doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy, all will be packaged and sent discreetly. So don't wait, better sex is just a click away. That's 50% off one item, free shipping with rush processing. Bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your bedroom. Just go to Adamineve.com and select any one item.

It could be an adventurous new toy or anything you desire. Just enter offer code PAPA at checkout. That's P-A-W-P-A-W at Adamaneeve.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to the podcast, so be sure to use the code PAPA to get your discount, 100% free shipping, and get it fast with brush processing. Code P-A-W-P-A-W. Goodbye, Sweeties. MUSIC

Welcome to the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Bahoma, everyone. I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Herwitz, hard one, Surefoot, Emily Axford, moon chan sabin' reporting for business, from the prick, A.K.A.

Criknus. And called well Tanner. Ha ha ha ha. Beverly Togalt. I never heard of anybody saying reporting for business. Reporting for business. I think it's duty. Duty.

Reporting for business. But I ain't come here to duty. I came here reporting the business. I think it's duty duty. Report for business. But I come here to duty duty. I came here to do business. Oh my goodness. You have a very, very filthy, uh, pantsuit on. Yeah. Glad you're making the distinction. What is formal at the Cric?

What is formal? Yeah, like what would formal wear at the Cric B? Lening, uhening Lening cover all I watched on camp let's do a little recap guys just a braille at Bando Yeah, and some leaves stitched into a mini mini pencil skirt. That's good. That's a good look Yeah, let's do a recap. So last week you guys you guys had some big wins We got them green teens back. Yeah. Green teens recovered. Erlin, Durlin, Crann, our buddies.

Welcome to the campaign. They're permanent, right? Yeah, they're going to follow you guys around. They're in the party. This is a party thing. They're in bags because they have seven HP and they don't have good instincts. Well, they watch. They are little liabilities. They're in fact touching each other. They're in bags because they were being annoying

and you guys put them in bags so they wouldn't talk anymore. You have to think about, we're no better than the Bollywax. You have to think about them as our backup lives. If one of us dies in the campaign, you just become one of the green teens. Yeah, you have to be Durlin. Everyone has to be Durlin.

Lord, if that's not incentive to stay safe, I don't know what it is. Jesus. Okay, so Moonsh. We've never been higher. So we started with Moonshine and Beverly swimming up into the sunken part of the keep. Well, hard one snuck around the back.

You guys all climbed up to the second floor and found the cobalt's preparing for a ceremony in their dark chapel for business. Or for business. Or for business, they were in town for business. They did have some Tim Hortons. It was lightly catered. But you swooped in and attacked. Tim Hortons who was slightly catered, but you swooped in and attacked.

Tim Hortons, the official proof business. You want to get something done? Have our watery coffee and our stale donuts. Write down a sad conference room at a holiday. If our hard donuts don't get you organ. Sacrifice a bunch of children to your weird guy Just a cobalt and an 80s business woman suit with big shoulder pads And a huge dick. Oh, oh yeah

Oh, yeah, we forgot our friends with the with the big hog and the ripped body Yeah, that was the cobalt source or alright, so moonshine and Beverly were knocked out and hard one had his chance to shine as he finally used a second win He did he regained some hit points was able to rush over revive moonshine who then revived Beverly from there You guys took charge and killed the cold bald leader the sorcerer who as we all know was in real good shape and had a nice hog Physical form You then snuck up to the North East Guard Tower and you found the green teens. Yeah, Berlin and France.

Unfortunately. Yeah, moonshine barfed out of the tower because they were so sweet. They were so sweet and annoying. They were a bit sweet for my crick-taste. There are a few sweet little denies. They don't make young and so sweet at the crack. You guys come salty young and so.

You guys are crazed to make it. And they're the mayor. They eat everything they shouldn't. Oh my goodness. We'll eat anything they should. So you guys put the teens back in the burlap sack so they were kidnapped and once they came. And you laid down the castle wall.

Gluclay. And ran off into the game. And you belayed down the castle wall. Gluclay. And ran off into the forest, but not before finding out from Cran that she heard the cobalt's talking about a dragon egg. Yes. You guys also got to level three. So we rolled new hit points and stuff, but you guys are still low health right now at your current hit points

because nobody's taken a long rest or anything. We have to like instantly fall asleep. So you guys right now are in the back of the castle, you guys have escaped and gone off into the forest. You guys are there right now with Irland, Durland and Cran. It is actually, it's only like 12 p.m. So you guys just had this big jailbreak adventure,

but it's still the middle of the afternoon. You guys had spied on the bullywokes, trading the kids to the cobalt early in the morning. Then you cased the castle, snuck in and killed a bunch of the cobalt and saved the kids, but that only took like a few hours. So it's only,

Beverly was inside a crocodile or an alligator. You were inside an alligator, but that'll happen in super fast. Super fast. So it's only noon. It's a pepperous siesta. I feel like, yeah. It is never too early to trans.

Yeah, you just hear the kids in the bags go hey man, can we get out of the bad thing? Shut up. Listen to your scout master. Stop moving. Hey, who wants their shit the fuck up patch? Good one, Minshine. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Damn, you got Durlin starts moving around a lot on your back and he goes, hey, the bully wags actually let us out and let us sleep in a tent when we could take care. So right now you guys are a little bit worse than the bully wags.

Yeah, let the bully wags be your scout master then. And not to mention, I think we all discovered the humanity of the bully wags so. A proud people, an honorable, an honorable clan. Beverly, it's early, they can't breathe, dude. Hey, it's her. Uh, scout master, hard one, could we please maybe let them out of the bags just? I will let you go to an air hole. Not letting this one fucks. Okay, I just, I feel like we could probably camp here. I feel like Just let you cut an air hole I just I feel like we could probably camp here. I feel like we're saying we into the woods You're into the woods. Can I make a check to see if we're safe? Maybe like nature or something like that. Do you guys want to be able to still see the castle and kind of just hide?

I mean moonshine can do look at or you guys can go deeper into the forest I think we should try and like have like at least the vantage point of it I also think you know what I think we should try and like have like at least the vantage point of it. I also think you know what? I think we deserve a nice little rest and nap and I think we should set up a nice little camp. That's neat. Yeah. Hard one. I just think the green teens would be very good at setting up a camp. We are all expert camp setters.

Um. Tell you what, I wordlessly. I got upside down. Dirlin falls out for one damage. Oh dude! Touch hands, Dirlin. Oh dude, I can't touch hands. I can only do that once a day man. Alright, let's take a rest.

Oh, y'all, y'all power the whole three of him. I, uh, I didn't mean to damage the whole fucking- Sculler, Sculler, Sculler, Mr. Horde, well, do you have any orex porers? I'll give you an orex porer. I'm sorry I hurt you. For the record though, I am a million times better than Denny who lets you get kidnapped in the first place.

He's got a good point. He's actually my favorite Scowl, Mr. Probably. Yeah, Denny's a piece of shit. Yeah, it's time to kill your idols. Denny, as we've said before, Danny is a craven man who deserves nothing. Yeah, kill your idols is the last step in the green teen handbook. It's actually in there, so.

Yeah. Dark. Our respected. It was written a long time ago. I could get on board with these green tints. So, Cran turns to you guys. How are we going to case this joint? What are we doing?

I box him out and start talking to him. Really? That's really a mooch on. I mean, I do think that we have a question ask ourselves. Well, first off, I do think that we'll take a little rest. We'll have a little relaxation. So, where are you guys going to take a long rest? I think we're gonna make a little camp here.

Okay, so you're gonna make a camp here? I'm gonna make like a sofa and a love seat out of mud. Okay, still in view of the castle? Upscored. Upscored by Holy Sheet. But we can call it. Give me a nature or survival check. With advantage because the green teens

will help you build a little camp. But also because I get, I think I can make a lean too out of sticks. I got a 15 survival. Great, cool. Oh actually, 20. Great, cool. Oh, actually, 20. Great, okay. Okay.

The green teens get to work making a little lean to out of sticks and leaves. They make a... I'm making like a 70s den out of mud. I got like a nice like three person sofa. Wow. I like love sea. We should do a that 70s show style spin around thing today.

Yeah, hang in there. Yeah hangin' up. Down the street. It is all made of mud though. I'm also doing a shag rug out of a sea grass. Okay, okay. Still mostly mud. Cool, so they build a couple little lean twos. You see the green teens with the burlap sack.

The three green teens use the burlap sacks as sleeping bags and they all get in the same lean too. That's a little bit bigger than the other ones and they go, come on, Scout Master, hard one. You can sleep in our lean too. It really mean a lot if you slept in the lean too with it. Does Danny sleep in the lean too with everybody? Is that what Danny do?

Oh dear. Hi, dude. I think he always got a hotel room. Whoa. Did Danny make us camp by ourselves? Danny said it made us better scout masters if he stayed at the end. And I really don't want to follow in any of Danny's footsteps. I'm calling it to the lead to move over, don't cuddle too close.

I do. I whip out my bully wag flesh-leaping bag. Yeah, I flap it out in view of the green teens to kind of show off a little bit. Earl and Luke's adding goes, oh, dude, did you kill a bully wug in self-defense? That's right, kid, your buddy collects skin and teeth now. Self-defense is the best kind of killing, dude. That's what I'm saying. That's what kid, your buddy collects skin and teeth now. So if defense is the best kind of killing dude,

that's what I'm saying. That's what the book says. And if the book says it has to be true, Scott Mr. Hardman, could you read to us from the book of Polor? I really think it's important that we take a nap, man, but tell you what, one chapter. You read them a story about how a Polar's Light created the weakness for the first vampires.

Oh. How that's why vampires have sunlight sensitivity is because of Polar's Light. Huh? Cool. I don't know that either. Yeah, we all learned something. Wow. I would like to give a gift to each of my fellow green teens.

Beautiful. I would like to give a gift to each of my fellow green teens. Beautiful. I give Durlin the chipped bully wug tooth. Oh man, a frog tooth! Yeah, I am. They have such nice smiles, man. Their smiles are beautiful. This one tried to bite me, and its tooth came off of my shield.

Oh, that's awesome. I'm missing a tooth. You see Durlin starts jamming it in and missing tooth. Oh, okay. And it's from a teeth. Hard one notices nobody has a dentistry pass. And I give Kran the the venom tooth the the viper tooth. Oh snake tooth cool. I can get my snake tooth badge. Yeah, is it a weird that that's a badge?

It's weird that that's a badge. These badges seem really arbitrary. It's weird that there's a snake fang badge and a snake tooth badge. You're kind of the same badge. It's a place for a muller. Yeah, that will win the two organizations. When the green teams and the leaf kids merge, there's a lot of redundancy. Yeah.

And then I give the alligator tooth to Erlin. Oh, man, this is actually a crocodile tooth. I don't. Don't ruin it, Erlin. Oh, sorry. Sorry, dude. Yeah, I pulled this from a crocodile that was trying to eat me, but then I did like a really cool performance

and made it seem like I was being eaten. Yeah, it was a really badass performance. Sounds like a really smart idea, dude. Everyone agreed it was. I think everyone would agree that was really cool badass and smart. Anyway, when I get attacked, I just got my ass kicked. This is Irland's egg, this is Irland's egg. I'm like, no, you're good at this.

We just got our arm. I just got my ass kicked. No, we just got to work on it. Like when we get back to go later on, you and me, we're going to hit the gym, we're going to just go every day, we're going to work on our shadow boxing, and you're gonna get swole, I promise. Tell you what, Erlin, you finally got two great scout masters here. We're gonna do a kick ass. You guys are almost as cool as scout master, Danny.

All right, gotta hit you to hear that. Instantly falls asleep. Okay, so everybody goes to bed except for moonshine. Yeah, I'm out front, I'm a I'm checking pop off for soft spots I'm making sure pop off. I'm like his head weirdly has a soft spot I'm like make sure he didn't get hurt during the battle right So like you would do like if you were inspecting like an avocado or a melon in the grocery store I'm doing that like holding them by the tail,

checking them for soft spots. His skull feels like a soft avocado, and every time you press in his head, you see his eyes bug out and he goes, where are you? Where are you? Is that new? Is that new?

Is that new? No, it's always been like that. He's always been like that. So I'm just doing that for a while. Your checking a mixture of skull didn't get harder than a soft cut. Just normal level of pop-off mean genus. Yeah.

Just some knotted fur and slastic pop-off. If pop-off is soft in all the right places, then I'm going to go and enter my trance. I'm going to start loudly chanting Melora. Just say it. Everybody wakes up, nobody gets their spells back. OK, so you're in a transfer about four hours. You do see near the end of your trance,

you see the winged cobalt coming up from the guard towers in the front and flying out to the back, and he starts kind of hovering over the two back guard towers to kind of do Recon. Am I within 120 feet of him? No, you guys are pretty far away. All right, so we're just seeing like a silhouette. You're not seeing anything, you're just saying.

Yes, so he's doing like recon? It looks like he's on guard duty. Why would he still be on guard duty? Interesting. Maybe because we killed his wizard. Why don't you go ahead and give me a perception check? Too legit, too crisp. Too legit, too crisp. Two legit to Chris.

Technically I got a seven. Hey. Okay, a seven. Yeah, there's definitely a guy flying around there. Seven legit to Chris. Can I do a perception check for Paw Paw? What is Paw Paw? I can roll for Paw Paw. He's not very perceptive.

Pray for pop-up, roll for pop-up. Pop-up hits a knot 20, right? Pop-up got an 8, which is better than you. I give pop-up minus the universe. I ask pop-up to mine when he sees, because I can't see shit. Can you speak to animals? Yeah. OK.

So Bob just goes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he is just appointing his nose up at the tower. We start chanting Malore and go back to the right trails. OK. So you see the one guy casing kind of where you guys were before when you belayed down in that back tower. And you see out of the front tower in like the distance,

you see another winged cobalt fly off. But he's still just flying around his castle, right? He's flying around with you. No, he left. He's booking it, he's going somewhere. Okay. Oh shit, dammit. Okay.

You're going to get more cobalt. He might be taking the egg. Oh, how long has it has everyone slept for eight hours? No, not yet. I would like to describe my dream. Okay. Another wet dream. This one's only moist. It's just hard one. Just scale in a mountain. Just scaling. Just like glistening, very moist, shiny bronze, and Papa's there, but it's just Papa, and he's also got like a big muscular body, it is just Papa's head. And so that does not produce the little stain. Yeah, how big is the stain this dream?

No, no, no, it's under control for stain. I'm under control for stain. It made me roll for stain? No, I will make you roll for stain. Moon shines there too, but like every time I look at her, the dream just like cuts off. It's so hard. Okay, well, I think I'm just gonna let it fucking be.

Yeah, I think you just report, I think maybe just report to us what you saw. Okay, so I re-enter my trance yet again. I see something and I don't say something. Once again, I'm part of the problem. Right. Okay, a couple hours later, go ahead and give me another perception check. Well, something's happening. Okay, well I got a 14. Okay, you see that other winged coal ball that had left fly back in Newstower. Ah, that's hardening.

Okay, cool. I'm I I just acknowledge that. Until no, then I give Papa a raspberry on his tummy You do that for a whole two hours until until everybody wakes up to the sound of a possum being raspberry Raspberry alarm clock. Yes Oh, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally, literally have to. Um, hey, Bev, hard one, let's have a little chitchat. How about everyone who's not a level three, where's earmuffs? Anyone's your friend? Yes, ma'am, Scout Master. And we all touch the ears. Aw, quick, quick, quick, real quick,

take the headbone, take the earmuffs off. They can't hear you, you need to. Okay, I feel like we're removing them. I say for future reference, that's Scout mistress. And then I put his hands back. Okay, so the cobalt's were, there's something still going on there because those little winged ones are still doing surveillance

and they left and then they came back. So I don't know if they're still guarding the dragon egg, that would be my assumption. Maybe they just flew away to go to the bathroom? They probably have a bathroom in the castle. But if they had to take a shit, they might be able to do it. I don't know what the plummage is.

There's a Starbucks somewhere in the swamp. And a Timmy who. Timmy. Yeah, the one wing at Gov'al does not like Tim Horan. So he flies to Starbucks. It's the dead of the night right now. Yeah, the one wing at Govall does not like Tim Horton. So he flies to Star Black City. It's the dead of night right now. It is well hidden in the APM.

They have the sight now. So the sun has just gone down. So do we just rush that castle and try and or do we stealth in and then if we find ourselves in the event that we need to fight then we're ready. Yeah, let's stealth in. Okay. I think we try to take them out and then look for the next one. One by one.

Yeah. Yeah, let's storm the castle. We're all really good at stealth, so we should do that. Well, no, no, I actually have a little something. Oh. If we're going to stealth, I would like to cast Pass Without Trace. Oh, nice. Which gives us all a plus 10 to our stealth checks.

Wow, dude. That's no level three. Hell yeah. That's level three. What happens to our eyes at level 10? Now, in order for me to cast it on you, we do have to do one big group hug. I spent all night being spooned by early during an end

crann. That's fine. I'm going to also go ahead and bring the youngins in and do and so we all I cast pass without trace on all I'm touching hands. Nope. Yep're all standing in line saluting you. Your mission is to keep the camp as clean as possible. Oh, my poor. I can do that. And you see, early and runs over and just starts fixing up

some sticks. A lot of it was like, I can also put it back in the sacks. That won't be necessary. All right, I don't know if you notice, but they all have their hiding patches. They are. Y'all are littered with patches. There's like very little real estate.

Halflings are very good at hiding and digging holes and living in those holes. And creating unnecessary patches. Oh, yeah, you know what? Why don't y'all do that while we're gone? Will you create an intricate system of holes under the ground that we could hide in later? Green teens, it's tunnel time! Tunnel time!

And they all touch hands again and then just get down and like dogs start taking it in the dirt. I almost feel bad about this. Yeah, I turn to Moonshine and whisper whisper I'm a little worried. These kids are just worth the cross-short. They're already really deep and so tired. See Dirlin just passes out in the little ditch. Yeah. No one has a tunnel patch. Nice moves, Irland. Thanks man. Cool, I think they're gonna keep themselves entertained. So, we've got past without trace.

So, I say let's just start stealthing up back to that castle. Before we proceed, are we a little worried about leaving these green teens alone? I can't, so they can still. Okay, cool. Well then, I'm also gonna tell them you should be stealthing the whole time. So, she could pass where when you guys get back? Yeah, yeah, I'll let I'll let Beverly choose it. Okay, okay, he knows what y'all like Secret password is bronze ash and just in case anyone forget to it'll just be us coming back You'll see our faces.

What if a bully woke wizard pretends to be you, Scout Master, or I won't say bronze ash. Bronze ash. Bronze ash. Bronze ash. Bronze ash. Okay, quiet. We're having still fun.

We're having fun still, but. We're still been fine. Let's sneak around. They just start sneaking around Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun what they're doing. It's charming. I feel like I used to, but I don't know ever since I met you guys, they seem a little less cool. Pretty much all of this seems a little less cool. I think maybe I like hanging out with y'all. Is that okay? I think you got a taste for decapitation. I like it. Yeah, I give them a good hair tussle and I give him my second thumbs up of my life Once again, it's kind of it's kind of crooked. That's sad. I still do love badges very much

Yeah, I will keep doing that. I'll keep doing that. Okay, so which way are you guys stelping in? I think we should stealth towards the front so we don't have to swim. Yeah Yeah, they're and they're in the they're in the rear two towers, right? Mm-hmm. Yes So you see yeah, the one winged cobalt is going around the back two towers. Nice. Okay, so you guys are going back around the front? Yep. You guys go back around the front. You guys are in the front of the castle. Now, is there a drawbridge? I'm trying to remember.

The drawbridge is gone. It's just an archway with like two hanging chains. There is water in the front here, but it's only like three or four feet deep. So you guys can either be up to your chests or you can be swimming down. Okay, cool. Yeah, I just didn't know if there's anything special we could use to like stealth,

but whatever you want to do, like a little chicken thing on my shoulders. I would love that very much. Cool. That won't make you easy to spot it all. Oh yeah. I mean, if it gives you a disadvantage, you still got plus 10.

That's cool. I think it will. There's only so much we can fail. How are you guys doing this? I think we just weighed through. Okay, and get to the front of the couch. I'll give you a water back later, kid. Okay, let me see if anybody sees anything.

We're feeling real confident about that Plus 10. Okay, dude. These guys don't have their sunlight sensitive anymore, so. No, let's see. He did not roll well, so. Oh, you guys have a Plus 10? Yeah.

Roll to just see if you do amazing. That's a- That's pretty amazing. 27, I guess. Oh, I got a 29. Wow, and I thought I did amazing, and I got the lowest score with the 25. Oh, shit, actually, I got the lowest score with the 25 oh shit actually

Wait, I got even more than that because my stealth is decent. I got a 31. You know what we're turning a new leaf Turn a new leaf here. I'm so proud of you guys And boobs is a professional fucking campaign now There's nothing funny about this just precise Devastating play I am immediately I googled meta gaming and that's all I do now nothing funny about this, just precise, devastating play. I am immediately, I Googled metagaming and that's all I do now. Okay, we're also at third level. And you're at full HP.

Yeah, I Googled how to be good at having fun. How to be good and not have fun. Yeah, you should even better de-intimit that. But we're still thinking, so can we assume that right now, we're doing it so well, can we assume that we're sort of moving in a way that it's not that it's not even that we're hiding in the shadows. That's much as we look like we belong. Yeah. Yeah. We're moving with like like we own the damn place. Yeah. We are guys. You guys are the wind. Essentially. Can we do that thing? we do that thing where like there's a corner

and then we all peek our heads around the corner? Yeah, can we? Because we roll so well. Absolutely, Ken. Yes. So you guys swim up so silently. Uh-huh. So fucking silently.

Silky. You guys swim up underwater. You guys get to this archway. You guys all peek your heads around sitcom style. Yeah, it would go Beverly Bottom, then Mochine, then Hardwood, and then Pop-Pop, the very bottom. I was thinking Pop-Pop pops out of the top after you're off. Or just out of your cleavage.

That's better. He starts loudly screeching. Like a little snake being born out of an egg. And then we cut around. We cut around and reveal that y'all are. It sounds like an egg cracking. It comes out of my cleavage. And then this is with the his too.

Okay, so you guys see, when you look in, you see there was this mess hall that Moonshine had seen before where they were cutting up tables. Right. You see this cut up broken table, but what really catches your attention is you see two beefy cobalts. Nice.

Nice. Less lean. Not quite as light as the other. Less lean. Like, definitely a higher body fat percentage, but still just a couple of beef cakes. Just a couple of beef cakes, really. Two beef cakes with shields and little swords, and they are waiting at the door. Are the swords actually little or do they just look little in their big beefy hands?

They're actually regular sized swords so if anything they look huge, oh yeah, to me. Alright so they're standing guard. They look like they're waiting to jump through the door at something. Okay, so this is our advantage. Oh, maybe the dragon is being hacked. Interesting, interesting. I think we need to assassinate them. I think we need to perception check to see like, well, you can do a perception check

or insight. Oh, insight's good. Oh, that's 16. Oh, that's good, let me see. Let me see how moonshine soon, if she's in. My perception check is at 11. Okay, that's not bad 15 you guys Watch for a little bit. They seem like they're maybe they're they're kind of waiting for something to happen

They're waiting to jump in all right. All right There's centuries waiting for us. I think yeah, yeah They're waiting for someone to come and do exactly what we're about to do I think that we should, does anyone else have long range attacks other than me? I have javelins. I got thrown axes. You actually don't have any javelins.

You're one sank and you broke your other one on purpose. No, I had five to start. Did you have five? Yes, I have been keeping track of my javelins. Then you have three. So you have three more to destroy. You have three, exactly. And I will destroy this.

They are expected. You also have all of Erlin javelans because he has never thrown one in it He gave them to me as a precious keepsake so you want to chuck some weapons at these guys? Yeah, can we do a coordinated thing where we we do like a three two one and then we each launch something? Oh, that's fun. You absolutely can these guys are pretty beefy. I guess think we're gonna take them out of their beefy But so am I yeah, what sort of diet do they, are they on? They look like they're on Keto. Oh shit.

Really? Yeah, they're pretty beefed out. That's cool. Have they eaten? Look at that. You know a little cardio gets along. That's a long way. A normal little cold ball, there's like two feet tall.

And they look like they probably weigh like 25 or 30 pounds. These guys look like they weigh 80 pounds. Wow. That's a lot. Now they were, now they were in the area though, I will say I could turn into a giant wolf spider now and then climb, because I have spider climbed. So I could go find out what's happening in the back.

That's cool, yeah. Okay, so I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna stealth. So now would I have plus 10 plus seven? Yes, oh, that's a shifty spider. So I'm gonna transform into a giant wolf spider. It's really visceral and it looks so painful. You just hear her bones crunching as they're

squished in turn. Papa's freaking the fuck. Oh, I'm gonna tuck Papa into your... In my backpack? Into Beverly's cleavage. No, into Beverly's, he's my... In my backpack. Little plate mail, doesn't he?

Yes. No, put him on my backpack. So he's like, I got him like a little baby. Oh, baby yarn? Yeah. I'll put him in your sash. I put future reference pop-up could also go into my beard.

I don't know. Oh, that's good. It's a little nash. I feel like you're now with your sash. That's fine. I just like beard is gonna be good too. That's all possible. Shoot out. I'm just kidding.

And then I turn into a giant wolf spider and I scale the walls back to go spy. Great. Roll a stealth check. You are probably going to get by these guys because they rolled a two. This is a dumb question. Are the doors open? No, that door is closed. So how is she getting through?

Because there's no ceiling. I'm spider she getting through? Because there's no ceiling. I'm spider climbing. Oh right, there's no ceiling though. Right, okay. So what did you go for? I'll affect the doors. 31, holy shit. Huh.

Okay, so you. Are there any spider webs? There are no spider webs. No big ones for a giant wolf spider. There might be some tiny ones if you really want to look around and look for some little baby spiders. That seems like a good easy spider. There might be some tiny ones if you really wanna look around and look for some little baby spiders. That seems so good. You okay, great.

Yeah, use your full action to do that. So you, you skitter. So the turtle instincts. You skitter across the ground, this disgusting big spider. You climb up the wall and you look down into that sleeping area where you had seen the cobalt could climb up the ladder

and get into the chapel. So you can see into the chapel and you can see down into the sleeping area. So go ahead and roll me a perception check. 15. Okay, down in the sleeping area. You see that there are cobalt sitting in their little like haystacks that they sleep in, but they're just waiting. They sleep in haystacks? They sleep in pelts and stuff. So they're sleeping in a castle sleeping in haystacks. How's their dental hygiene? It's not great.

Not great. Okay, so they're sleeping in their haystacks. They're not sleeping. They're sitting on top of their pelts and stuff, the things that they sleep on. They're sitting there and they're waiting for something. Do I see the egg? You do not see the egg. Not, I get that egg.

I would now like to do a perception check on dark chapel. Great, so dark chapel's on the second floor, which is eye level to you. So you look over to your right. I look over for a big whopping 23. Wow. Yeah, good rolls. Here I come, the good rolls.

There we go. Sorry, 22. Okay, still. Oh shit, sorry, 22. Okay, still. Oh, shit. No, you don't see anything. You look over to your right into the dark chapel. You see that the three tables that were being built, presumably to sacrifice the green teens on, and there are bully wugs hiding under it, looking like they're ready to pounce

and jump down. What? bully wugsiding under? Under tables. Holy Wugs and cobalt. Working together? Okay. Or not working together.

Holy Wugs, yeah they're fucking, we're just spying on a battle that's about to action more. Yeah. Okay, so I scurry back and I'm still a giant spider. Oh no, I can't talk to you guys when I'm a giant spider. Yeah. Well, shape shift out. It's again really painful. You hear my bones reforming. It's so visceral Um, and then I tell you guys what I saw. Well before you do that

I finished showing hard one the cat's cradle that I was I was teaching him Milebea pressed to the new you remove the middle finger Loop back the ring fingers, and... Oh, she's back. I can't believe this is the same. He's just loud, they banging around while the rest fucking teeth. So yeah, I don't know if the bully wugs are... I don't know if this is like a big siege that they're all working together,

or if they're against each other. There's bully wugs here too? Yeah. Hiding in the dark chapel room. Seems like some sort of faction war. Feel like we can just, can we just hang out and wait and see what happens? Would it be crazy to, I'd like to like get it started.

Ooh. I wonder if... Spark the powder cake, yeah. I wonder if we did, if I did some kind of range to tack, if they would assume it was bully walks or something like that. Cool. Yeah.

Do you think that's worth it? Do you have anything that would register as a bully walk weapon? Otherwise, they might do suspicious things. Do we grab any jabs? Oh, javelin and spears. Oh my god, wait, don't we, oh no, you gave your bully walk a mating call.

Let's do another bully walk mating call. Ha ha ha ha. Turn this thing into a fucking orgy baby. Wait, maybe you should do a little sound. Not necessarily a maniacal. Okay, or we could just, I don't know, what do you guys think we should do? I like the idea of killing one of these guys by the door. So are we gonna train all three of our attacks on one guy, or are we gonna do like two on one and one on the other?

I think we should probably try and take out both of them if possible at the same time. Okay, so I'm probably gonna use ice knife and are they within five feet of each other? Yes. Then if I hit it would do damage on both of them. So I'll try ice knife. Cool, I'm gonna throw my throwing axe at, whichever one is slightly beefier. It was one guy that has just like a bigger, like bigger pecs. Yeah, the one on the right looks like he does a lot of squats

and his ass is very plump. Oh, nice. So it was mine. So I'm gonna go up to that, too. Okay, so are you guys basically all throwing stuff at the same time? Yeah, we're gonna do a three, two, one. All on the same guy or on different guys. No, no I'm doing it on the other guy the one that the one with the less plum bass. Yeah

It does all bad it is going fast. Who's going fast? Who's going? I'll go I'm going fast. Okay, I heard ones on plum bass. I'll go big big pecs big pecs Yeah, I'm on that flat ass on the flat ass. Okay okay. So hard one, go ahead and throw your ax at Plump Butt. But we're doing this all simultaneously. And roll with advantage because you guys snuck up on these guys like crazy. Hell yeah. I got a 13 range attack.

You only got a 13, okay. With advantage, I got 14 plus five, so 19. Well, fuck my dick, I think I got a nine. Okay, and you rolled two Do you want to say pick a higher one? Yeah, I did and I rolled the five each Wow, frankly cool. Where are you using the right dice? Oh? This is a D4 Which is amazing that I rolled a five

Okay, I got 13 okay, and you're throwing like an icy magic dagger. It is a shard of ice Okay, you know what technically I got an 11 out of 9 you're throwing like an icy magic dagger. It is a shard of ice. Okay, you know what? Technically, I got an 11 out of 9. Oh, and hit her miss hit her miss the shard explodes and each creature has to make a dexterity saving throw or Get a 2d6 cold damage. Okay Good shit. Okay, they failed their saves nice So everybody rolled their damage and then I'll tell you guys what happened. So hard one you missed. But did I hit you?

You missed also, within 11 you missed. But they each take eight. Eight damage. I got an eight. You got an eight damage. I see damage. Ooh. Okay.

And then also a javelin. Nice. Hard one throws his axe at the plump ass, but focus is a little too hard on the plump ass. And ends up throwing it a little high. I still miss the ass. It clangs loudly against the wall. Beverly throws his javelin and does stab the other guy in his flat ass.

And he goes, oh, what? What? It's such a small target. As moonshine is shocked at the hilarity of it and misses a little bit with her ice dagger, but it hits the wall and shatters, and you see icicles stick to these guys and hurt them. And they go, ah, they're behind us. They're not coming in the room, they're behind us.

We have a roll initiative. They didn't go down? I wonder, did they see us throw the weaponry or could we like... We have to go to the US! We have to go to the US! We have to go to the US! We have to go to the US! We have to go to the US! We have to go to the US! We have to go to the US! We have to go to the US!

We have to go to the US! We have to go to the US! We have to go to the US! We have to go to the US! We have to go to the US! We have to go to the US! We have to go to the US! We have to go to the US! We have to go to the US! We have to go to the US! We have to go to the US! We have to go to the US! We have to go to the US! We have to go to the US! We have to go to the US! We have to go to the US! We have to go to the US! We have to go to the US! We have to go to the US! We have to go to the US! We have to go to the US! We have to go to the US! We have to go to the US! We have to go to the US! We have to go to the US! We have to go to the US! We have to go to the US! We have to go to the US! We have to go to the US! We have to go to the US! We have to go to the US! We have to go to the US! We have to go to the US! We have to go to the US! We have to go to the US! We have go back into the swamp. They didn't see us. Let's hide and see if we create if we spark the war between the bully wugs and the Okay, so you guys are just gonna go kind of back in the water or you guys going back in the forest where you guys go in the water Actually, we like duck into like a wall behind the flooded room. So you guys are gonna go to the right into the flooded room Yeah, cool. So you guys we still have to plus 10 for that. Yeah

We have great So you guys through your stuff kind of 10 for that. Yeah, we have for now. So you guys, through your stuff, kind of as you are running over to the flooded room, so we'll say you didn't even have to roll initiative. That was just your surprise round. That was your action. Honestly, that's why I missed the dude. You guys are just like, wait, sir,

we run it and throw it at the same time. And hard one is just completely distracted and just clangs off the wall. I do want to be trying to over here. Great. So you guys run over through the open doorway to the right into the flooded room. Can I real quick, if we're not in initiative anymore?

Can I check, like do like a quick glance to see if there are any bully walks in the water? Or like would I know that? You have to just get in the water. All right, cool. And you guys are going to need to do stealth checks getting in the water because you guys are running. All right, cool.

You guys just threw stuff and are getting in the water. Love this water. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs. They're a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered. Now we all know when the legwear war begins and we're forced to choose a side, it's gonna be difficult. Luckily, Bird Dogs has made the decision of which pants and shorts to buy a little easier.

Bird Dogs stretchy khakis are designed to fit slimmer through the thigh and leg to give you a truly sculpted look. And instead of making their clothes out of restricting cotton, Bird Dogs invented a cloud-knit fabric that looks just like khaki, but stretches so you get a way slimmer fit without having to sacrifice movement. And trust me, you are going to need all the movement you can get when you and your brothers and legs are out there on the battlefield kicking the shit out of your rivals. So when the lower body battle begins and brother is forced to kick brother, make sure you are wearing bird dogs.

To get yours and a free Yeti-style tumbler, go to birddogs.com slash pop-off or enter promo code pop-off at checkout. That's birddogs.com slash pop-off or promo code pop-off for a free Yeti-style Tumblr. You won't want to take your bird dogs off, we promise you. Okay, that's it for me, go team pants, and enjoy the show. You know what, guys? I rolled a one, but guess what? Hard one does study this character. Oh, we know shit. I don't get... No, you don't. That's just an automatic failure. I studied my character and I know that stuff.

No, Harder, you studied my character. I get to rerollin one. That was a watch this moment. Okay, so. So you guys this you guys I studied my character and hold on and I failed big time. You know what I actually have a plus for stealth so that's five and a plus 10 to my friends you rolled that one you fell in that water. Oh no. Okay.

So you guys Jake's like I studied for chemistry. What do you mean it's a math test? Hard one leads the way throws the axe in clang She's so ashamed of himself that he keeps watching it like a boulder who just threw really poorly just hoping it'll turn at the last Second and hit as he falls into the water in the flooded room I got your fucking back. You see these two flooded room you see these two Cobalt big doods these two big dudes go

The other way everybody roll initiative all right great job cool still That's 12 6 moonshine you act first hard one just fell in the water You're standing in the doorway there Beverly's right behind you and these two guys are at the doorway leading to the sleeping area and they've turned and they're looking at you. Can I use my bonus action before my act? You sure can? Okay, then I will.

Shaleila. Shaleila. My cimitar and then I want to try to like, assassins style like grab one of them back with my Shaleila. You want to try to grapple them? Yeah, I guess I don't want to try to like, um, assassin style, like grab one of them back with my Shalala. You want to try to grapple him? Yeah, I guess I don't want to fucking do that. Okay, I'm just gonna fucking attack him. Yeah.

Moonshot just runs up crazed and tries to smack him. Are you symbiotic entity or anything? No, but I still have my Halo sports even when I'm not. Cool, do it up. Ooh. Stabling on fucking. You going after- That's gonna be a 23, because I got she'll likely.

Dope, are you going after no ass or plum bass? I'm going after... No ass has been hit a little bit more, but they're both still looking pretty healthy. I'm going after it. I'm still looking for the plum. You know what? I'm still riding that flat ass. Okay, good.

Leave plum bass for me. Alright, you heard in the water, dude. I'm guessing 23 hits. I'm guessing 23 hits. 23 hits. That's the 23 hits. And then I'm going to hit him for me. All right, you heard in the water, dude. We got some 23 hits. 23 hits. So 23 hits. And then I'm gonna hit him for 10. Oh, 10.

Don't. And then I'm gonna halo spores him for three more. So I hit him and then smear some spores from my lip onto his lip. Oh my god. You smack him with your shillayly. He a wipe spores in his face. He's like, oh, it's not with you! And that is going to be those guys. So the one that you just spored is going to swing at you

with his sword. Oh, shit, y'all. And he is getting a 16 to hit. Oh, that's kind of hit. That is only a two damage. Nice! He swings again, he gets two attacks. Oh, motherfucker.

And he's gonna hit again for four damage. So him and for six total. Yes. Okay. This other guy is going to disengage. He runs, he opens the door, runs back into the other room. Fuck. And he yells, everybody, they're in the front, they're in the front.

And you hear everyone getting up and standing up. Okay, we need to drag this guy into the water with us or something like that. Yeah, that's smart. That is going to be hard one. Or maybe we just need to kill him. Yeah, just kill him. Oh, I'm gonna kill him and then everybody's gonna

have to get into the water. Murr, yes. I just remember something. Do I have my bully bug sleeping bag on me? If you say that you brought your whole back as a Instead of leaving it at the camp as a standard be a be an honest green teen Would you have left your sleeping bag at the camp? I think I would probably roll it up and put it with me in my backpack. Okay. I believe I think you're a little stinker

But I'll believe you I think you might get your lying badge, but agreeing as always prepared. Okay, so you're gonna try to get in your bullywag sleeping bag and pretend to be a bully. Well, that's what's going on. Okay, we have a good turn, but that's the same. Okay. Oh, hard one, you're up. Cool. Yeah, do your dumb thing. So you're in the doorway of this other room. You just splashed in the water and that's what made them see you guys. Well, I'll see you through stuff at the moment. Right.

So one guy, Flatass is still in the room. Flatass is still in the room. He's hurt and the other guy just ran into the room and everybody is getting out. And you hear loud, you hear what? What? What? We're supposed to come in this way. Oh, there's Tim Hortz put in the way.

Put in the way. What are the Tim Hortz. Oh, I got a coffee. I thought the wicked guy was supposed to find him and then we were gonna get him. Oh, put the donut on. I was just eating a dog. Let me finish it. You hear one guy like furious,

they're trying to, don't try to choke it down. You're gonna choke me. We got a car below before the fight. It was the club bass, dude. Maybe some of those holes. Yeah, the other guy just went in there and ate a lean piece of chicken. Go ahead, aren't going.

I think we had it. I think we had. It's too late for me. Oh, yeah. You're Moonshine's out. Okay. Also, if I need to matter of seconds. So those guys will still, the other guys in the other room are still going to have to get

in here and they will still have to roll initiative and stuff. I also think we could hide if you kill him and then use your action to grab me. Yeah, or can I use, I'll kill him, I'm gonna kill him and use my action to shut the door. Can I shut the door? You can do, shut the door, it's a minor action.

Great, cool. All right, so I'm just gonna get this. I'm gonna get this all over again. So we can get the flat ass cobalt. That is a 15 that you know just tense. Oh god damn You know your D12 You said you know what shit on me man. I do squats all the time. I swear to god. I don't just do curls I don't just do curl kids get black day bitch. Oh

Hell yeah, that is a 14 nice 14 you slash this dude and he looks like he's gonna go down But he's still barely alive The door great so you close the door and are you kind of standing up against the door? Yeah, I'm gonna I still shut the door. Great. So you close the door. And are you standing up against the door? Yeah, I'm going to try to hold the door. Great. Not about us. That's good.

Hard one. He's just threateningly whispering how much you can deadlift. OK. Beverly, that's you. So are we? You've got one guy in your room that's on death's door. Yeah. You've got hard one trying to hold the door shut.

Yep. And you hear lots of guys arguing over Tim Hortons in the other room. Okay Oh, what the hell is Boston cream? Give me the whole stuff fucking eating man. I Want to pull out the the sleeping bag great and just kind of like hold it up and be like what do you think? I'm gonna say the sleeping bag, great. And just kind of like hold it up and be like, what do you think? I'm gonna say, I throw it on, but also hit this guy.

Okay. Can't hurt to throw it on, but this guy's on. I'm gonna say it is going to take a full action to put on a sleeping bag, it's a costume. Hey, they're never gonna buy you as a bullie log because you don't have the teeth for it. I'm sorry to tell you Oh that's a fair point

What if I what if we use this as a distraction would have be like threw it out there got this guy on death store Yeah, should we just kill him first? I think so. Okay, unless maybe we could get some information out of him? Sure, if that's... This, these guys are pounding on the door. I don't think it's time to do it there, you know. Oh my God, this time it's true. Okay, three, two, one, what do you do?

All right, here's what I do. I take my sword, okay? I point it at his throat and I say, what you're gonna do is you're gonna take this bully wug corpse, you're gonna walk out there and you're gonna tell them that there's no problem. And if you don't, there's gonna be a javelin through your throat in three seconds.

Have a nice day. Uh, a rollout and intimidation, okay. I like this move, I'm into this. That's great. All right. It's a 14, oh, plus six. Okay, this dude goes, fuck man, this little guy is hardcore.

I like the tip of my jadlin. Oh my god, he's fucking weird, man. You're crazy, man. You want me to go in the fucking other room and just tell him what? The other guy saw you, man. I mean, just give me your, your, give me your fucked up thing. All right, help him.

I know that. That this is the person that attacked and that you killed him and that there's not a problem anymore. You all right. The other people were just seeing things. Okay. Look at this patch.

Look at this patch. Yes, sir. I just point to my intimidation patch. You got it. So he's gonna walk over to the door. Oh, excuse me One is very impressed with Beverly. I have my javelin pointed right into his beautiful glute Are you okay? So you're right behind him. Yeah, I'm kind of following him in I don't follow him in sure You're behind him so you can stab him. Yeah, like right. Yeah, like he's gonna creak the door open

But I do I'm like in position to stab him if he makes the wrong move so he X opened the door and You see there's cobalt like already at the door kind of trying to get in he's like stop guys stop guys. It's actually all Everything's all good out here The other dude is just like the fuck are you talking talking about? I saw, there were three people, they were back there, man. No, man, everything's fine. And you guys hear from above you. They're here, the three of them are here!

And two bullywugs jumped down, three bullywugs jumped down from the second floor up at the chapel. Oh, yes! And try to swing on you guys. Oh, oh! Why would you think on you guys. Wait, on us. Why would you think they're not working together? They were trading with each other. They were trading arms.

I thought there was a, oh, man. Oh, dammit. Our brilliant plan for a good part of the story. I thought we were going to get to fight on the side of the bully wags. One of them, Chris. Can Kyle Wogg, can Beverly Quick take an action? Just poke him in the ass and see if he can kill him.

Absolutely, you can kill him if you want. Ha ha ha ha ha. Stab him and his ass cheek and kill him. It's just saying good work then stab him in your death. Ha ha ha ha. I say asses to asses, dust to dust, and kill him. Ha ha ha ha. No!

Ha ha ha. That was the last thing I'll ever hear. He does. This one guy, and you see these bully wugs, have like fresh, new, awesome swords. Of course they do. Where'd they get those? The one guy, crits on hard one for 12 damage.

God damn it. Love to get crits. The other one swings down on Beverly and Mrs. and the other guy hits you for five, moonshine. Oh y'all, this is not going our way. Okay, so now there's cobalts now trying to Russian. I'm still holding the door, right? You are, you can, yeah, you can,

as like a minor action, it's time the door back shut. Yeah, okay, so you're just up against the door, holding a shut. I'm trying to hold a shut so we can just fuck with these bullywugs. Great, okay, yeah. Sohine, that is you. Oh, that's me?

Yes. How many bully wugs are with us? Three. Yeah, I'm just gonna swing my Shalala Simitar at the one that crit. Great. Actually, I'm gonna do it at the one that didn't crit. That one hit you.

Oh, yeah. You don't want to hit me, man. Shalala him. Shalali. It's gonna be 16. Oh, my. 16 hit, that does get some revenge. Shalala him. Shalala. It's gonna be 16. Oh my, 16 hit, that does hit. Yeah. Okay.

Even with their beautiful new weapons. And they're pretty well. Do you let my new sword, I'm gonna hit him for six. You slash him across his chest and he goes, Oh, that hurt, but I'm still alive. And then I'm gonna not rock it some spores into his open wound. For three more damage. Three more damage, he'm still alive and that was not rocket some spores and his open wound For three more damage three more damage. He's still alive, but he's on death store

That's right That's where you belong Sweep in death store that is going to be the Strong-ass cobalt with the big butt. I can't even try it. There's two As cobald with the big butt. I can't wait to try it. There's two But didn't the flat ass one we can't grab us but I thought big ass one is locked in the room right? He is locked in the room. He's gonna try to run through. Okay. Yeah, so a post fucking lot post strength track against hard one hard one roll your strength Watch this What'd you get? You know what buddy?

He only got a he only got a seven. What do you get on strength? My strength is should be like a plus four. Yeah, it is plus four. I am 21 So I do hope you were watching Sorry what You fucking killed my bro bro! I'm gonna fucking kill you man! And then you should have done some work on your biceps brother! And then you just, the faintest little ding on the other side

he goes like, oh fuck my shoulder man, it just worked out! Yeah man! I'm fucking shoulder day dude, these are the quads you wish you had! That's the only reason that the kid or you can't contain! That's the only reason I can't get in bro! These are the quads you wish you had! This is the quads I can't get in, bro. You said the quads you wish you had. This is the core you can't get in. So hard.

Harwan, is that your green team creed? That's got master. I've been coming up with my own. I love it. Hard one. That is. We should do a session sometime. I like that.

Erlin and I were talking about them. Hard one, that is your turn. Okay. So you can move enough to take an action and still go back and I'll say you can still hold the door. Because you're right there. Yeah, I got one foot on the door. So you've got one guy that's on Death's door. That moonshine just hit and you've got the guy in front of you that just hit you. Yeah, another guy that was trying to hit Beverly but miss and then you got I'm gonna swing my great Oxid the dude that just hit me great smart fucking blade to the teeth here we go Oh, yeah, okay, and that is yeah, that's a like a 22 Don't super hit. Oh, you're not

You don't roll a 19 did you cuz you got improved critical now. No, I got it. It was 16. Oh 16 good. Still good Okay, that's 14. He's super dead. Finish him. Yes. Nice. I'm Winding up and just fucking acts through the teeth Teeth through the back of the head followed by the blade of the axe. Oh, man, shattering them. Cutting his teeth just y'all's No, I was so excited to make all these new friends I'm so excited to make all these new friends! Ha ha ha! A hard one presses back up against the door. That is you, Bev.

You got two Bullywugs left, one who's on Death's door, and one who's right in front of you. I mean, they're all closed, so. If I have a Vine spell that is supposed to work on Fos, could I use it to barricade a door? Yeah, why not? You know what? I'll say, if you use the attack to put like vines on the door I'll give hard one advantage on his strength checks against the other guys. Alright. I'm gonna channel divinity with nature's wrath Which allows me to

Info primil forces to ensnare a foe Are you as an action dude as like the on the door? Yep spectral vines to grab the door Beverly throws up some vines on the door. Oh Malora that little one It mucks up hard ones pants a little bit I have the door I think the vines probably are a little handsy Yeah, there's a thing pinching hard ones, but a little bit Now that's that's your action. That's an action.

Yes. Okay, as a bonus action, I'll cash shield of faith. Great. On who? I will give it to hard one. Great. Cool. Hard one you've got plus two AC.

Great. So you're AC, I think, a 16, so now it's 18. Yep. You just did get that to me before. Great. And I guess that's my turn. Great. Cool. That is the bully wugs There are only two left the one that just witnessed Beverly doing the vine thing is gonna swing in him did they think it was cool?

Cool trick man, but unfortunately I have to kill you now there you know I roll the wine fuck me He just likes it the vines wow cool vines He just looks at the vines. Wow, cool vines, I wish I could swing on them. And then he just whiffs while looking at the vines and thinking that it's all. The other guys. Everyone is very distracted today.

It's thinking about those vines. The other guy swings at moonshine. Oh, and he dinks, he rolls a three. Yeah. They're both just looking at the vines. So did that vines just pinch your ass, man? You really should be focused right now. The vines wavid him.

Cool, so that is going to be the cobalt's in the other room. So they have vines and hard one, which is stronger, who knows? Strong vines. Cool. So what? My legs are trunks.

Cool. So hard one, go ahead and roll with advantage. But these guys are also gonna roll with advantage because let's see, four of them are gonna try to ram into it. They're just all hyped up on 10 points. That's a not 20. Oh, that's a not 20.

Woo! It's all three-o-one. Come at my calves! You hear the beefy bro that was on the other side. Oh, that's my calves. The beefy bro that was on the other side. The beefy bro that was on the other side yelling, you hear a couple guys be like, get out of the way, man, get out of the way.

You hear four of them stampede all at the same time. They hit the door, they break the door. It comes off his hinges, hard one holds it up and shoves it back in. And it clicks back in the doorway. That's the mason, isn't it? You do hear a couple of cobaltts trying to sc back in the doorway. That's the base in it. You do here, you hear a couple of cobalts trying to scramble up the wall

and you see one winged cobald from the scout tower in front of you guys. Flies down into the room to join you guys and the one that was staking out the back of the castle flies up on top of the wall. Got it. Okay. In this room. So he'll be able to attack you guys next turn that is going to be moonshine Do I see any of them on the rafters any of the co-wolds on the rafters?

There is a winged cold up on one of the rafters the winged guy, but he's got wings. Yep. Mm-hmm. All right. I'll let him be He does look like a little weiner though He does look like a little weiner though. He does. He looks for sir. He for sure. And you know what I'm going to do is I'm going to cast chill touch on that weiner up there. You're going to chill touch a weiner. I'm going to chill touch a weiner.

I've got time. This entire podcast has been leading to this moment. This is one line. Yeah, so I've got 120 feet. So yeah, he's right there. There's 11 going to hit hit him 11 is a winner is Gonna is it gonna? I don't hit so then but then I still say I'm not done with you and I and I snuck rocket some more spores into

The bully walks gaping wound sees dad finish him. I Just I channel my enter I channel my aura into the spores and I make them grow into a beautiful phosphorescent mushroom garden. Whoa. And I say death is beautiful, y'all. How much like this is beautiful, but it's in my bloodstream and he explodes. Guts get all over hard one. You just, you just land world of colored him

Cool that is going to be the cobalt bro Brobal the bro bald Boba very good very good is going to is he naked as well naked? Yeah, okay? Oh god He's super strong and super naked is that distracting? Kablam style. Mm-hmm. You guys remember Kablam? Oh, yeah, no one's super strong. No, I got you. Yeah, okay, actually All right, don't worry about it. Strength, strength check hard one with you got advantage because you get the vines there So we're gonna another not 20 you Oh my goodness.

All right. This guy, you hear him walking back over. Oh, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way. Not the way you look, fuckers. Everyone hears this and I just wink it, Beverly. Because I'm coming through. And you feel a loud bang. And then a bunch of other guys go like,

oh my god, are you okay? And you know, you don't hear him respond. I flash hard one of two thumbs up and I double wink, which is just closing your eyes. Hard one, that is actually your turn. Sweet, can I throw my axe at the winged cobalt on the wall? Sure can, sweet.

Nice. That is 18. 18, that hits. Hey, if you can't chili touch a weiner, just fucking throwing it. Okay, and that is a... So it's not going to be a D12 to hit because it's a throwing axe. Oh right, it's a D6. Yeah.

D6 is a normal guy. It just looks like a regular dice. It's the easiest one to find man. That's the only good one I am now. I finally forgot what a regular dice is. It's just monopoly dice. That's the fall from I am now. I finally forgot what a regular dice is just monopoly dice, but that's the fall from grace You're just in Vegas. You're in Vegas Vegas just you're playing crap and you're like, do we use a d8 for this?

Oh, so it's all a seven, but is that a d12 or what's like? So damage or what is this? Oh shit. That is a nine. Oh Fucking kill this dude. Just dead eye. Just chuck it up after blocking his door. The whole that's so awesome. The whole awesome freaking alpha right now. Does it, does it?

It's whenever I meet somebody else with big quads. That's just, moves back, still holding the door with his left hand, right hand throws the throwing axe. Can it bang? Fucking threw his head and come back to me. No boomerang is insane I'm so sorry. I can't but it can it can like hook it starts to you didn't get in that time It starts to like hook around Clang's on the floor. Yeah, where does he land? Where's the cobbled land? Oh my goodness, okay? So the front of his face slides off as the axe goes through his eyes

And you see the back of his head goes into the like sleeping area and The rest of his body plops for he just unceremoniously plops in the middle of the room I catch the front of his face that fell off and toss Beverly a small tooth His little head fell in the other room. How too bad. We'll find it later. Don't worry Cool that get you that tooth bell and try me. That is you Beverly. All right So you've got one winged cobalt in the room with you guys and you've got one bully woke. That's at full health Okay, I want to try. Of course you do. Is it an attack?

He's got that look in his eye. Such a powerful paladin. I mean, yeah. All right, now that he's too angry, and over the road, I would like to wear a sleeping bag and say the others. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no.

I want to go after the winged cobalt. Okay. But I would like for a hard one to throw me at it. I thought the winged cobalt just got killed. There's two winged cobalt. Okay, but I would like for a hard one to throw me at it. I thought the winged cobalt just got There's two winged cobalt. Yeah, one came from the guard tower I want to like get my sword out. One is in the room with you guys. Yeah, right? You flew down. I want to get my sword out and try and do an aerial slash on this cobalt. Okay, so like that Yeah, great get so you're gonna ready in action. You got a ready in action until hard ones turn ready Get so you're gonna ready in action you got a ready in action until hard ones turn ready

You just pull your sword up and this bully was just a little get he goes the fuck are you doing man? I'm powering up and he swings at you and he crits It's funny when shit happens that we deserve isn't it 11 damage. Oh my god You could have had a ultimate one. You have all your spells, lots of magic. You could have used Smite and Shit. Anyway, all right. OK, that is the color of the Beverly chose to go into a deep crouch.

That is the constant consequence. I've never seen a young one with such thick things. That is the cobalt stern. You do see two of them get up to the top of the wall Uh-oh and try to jump down onto hard one and They crit what Doing good rolls mom made dinner and the rolls are delicious

Holy shit. Oh, no first guy does 11 damage what the other guy's gonna swing what's 32 minus 11 He he misses big time. He rolled a three so he he he lands and these guys are actually gonna take falling damage They might fucking die. Oh, oh my awesome. Oh my God. The guy who grits you, grits you because he like, just fully suicide dives at you. And then he splats on the ground like a fucking cartoon. I whispered to him, that was honestly a pretty noble death. I kick a tooth towards death. Great.

Two of the fires over to Beverly. The other guy takes two damage. He's super hurt though, he goes, he like breaks the leg and he goes like, whoa, why don't I do that? Why don't I do that? Why don't I do that? I mean, need to be a hero. Guys, nobody else do that.

These other four cobalts on the other side of the door are going to try to ram it. So give me another strength check. Let's go one more, not 20. That is a... Oh, uh... 15. 15. You hold it true. Hell yeah! You feel it and holds true. Bang, you feel them bang up against it but you're able to hold it back. So the wing and cobalt is gonna rush forward at Beverly as Beverly stands there with the spear. Oh come on! And he hits. How much does he hit me for? He hits you for four damage. All right, that's fine.

Okay, that is moonshine. Can I get him a belly and look under the door for a line of sight so I can cast earth tremors? Yes, you can. Okay, so I do like a nice downward dog slink into place on the floor. Okay, great. You can, you know what can give me a perception check.

9. Yeah, you can see under. And then I leave. You can see the feet of several cobalts. And you can see the big dude is rubbing his head and getting up. Well, I'm hoping to knock him back down with, and then I cast earth tremors. Great.

They do dexterity savingrows on a failed save. Each creature takes 1d6 within that 10-foot range, takes 1d6 bludgeoning damage, and is knocked prone. Okay, I know. If the ground in that area is loose, Earth or stone, it becomes difficult to range. Okay, roll a d6, and we'll say that's the damage for all of them.

And I'll let you know if they get hit or not. Six. Six. Six. Okay, let's see who passes get hit or not. Six. Yo. Okay, let's see who has their Dixerti saving throw. So first guy passes. He gets out of the way as the earth starts to shake. Second guy fails. You see he falls and cracks his head,

million dollar baby style. I think he's dead. He's gone. Third guy saves. He jumps up. Other guy fails. He's got third guy. Saves, he jumps up. Other guy fails. He falls down and cracks his head. And then the big bro guy.

I just wanna knock him back down. He's actually, I'll say he was getting up to all roll of disadvantage. He passed on the first one, and he rolled the one on the second one. So he'll take six damage. So he falls back down as he's getting back up. Oh, the fork.

Oh, the cheek. Ha, ha, ha jeep. Hardly. And then I look back. Is there a bully wag still alive? Oh no. That's the one that hit me. There's the one that hit me. But he's still got, I look at that covaled that landed

on that landed on hard one. And I spores him. Nice. Through spores. Okay, cool. He's dead. He's gone. He goes down. Oh shit, that was. What are the ways of your, you're ready, cool. He's dead. He's gone. He goes down.

Oh shit, that was just- What are the ways if you're being ready to be thrown in the air? No, there's still a wing of cobalt. There's still a wing of cobalt. Oh, that's the air. Okay, great. I will never step on that move.

I'm still doing a cool thing. I'm still gonna be cool. Bro's alive, but I'm gonna die with honor. Bro cobalt's turn. He gets up, he tries to ram the door again Strength check hard one come at me dude that time it was a 10 Okay, he only rolled a five This nemesis for hard one you gotta call to cause you get you got to cause it against the hubris, bro

No, I'm gonna get you. You see fucking I wish like if things were different We would work out together. I feel I respect you He's losing it This is toxic masculinity You can't even grow This is toxic masculinity, so this is, man. Just fucking look at me. You can't even grow, so you're doomed. This is the strong one. Yeah, he's shabby back in his face. OK, that is going to be, that is you hard one.

So you can now throw Beverly if you would like. Sweet, I'm going to toss the kid. You toss the kid. Ben, roll with advantage on an attack roll on this winged cobalt 19 let's see if I can do better Okay 19 plus five you super hit yeah All right, I have my sword out right yes Nine 90 average he said winged cobalt goes down. Yes. Bye-bye.

Finish him. All right. Come down from the air. Okay. What happens? I'm up in the air. Is he just floating in the air? Or is he like on a rafter?

He was down on the ground. He was okay for you guys. Dude, it's curing like a kabab. All right, so yeah, I think like if he was on the ground, then hard one throws me and I get, I just like, yeah, just kabab him. Right before he dies, he goes, killed by an airborne enemy, how ironic.

No, I like that. Yeah, I need to take one of his teeth. You stabbed him through the head and rip out his tooth. He had a gold tooth, it was cool. You guys are in an empty room. Moonshine is still looking under the door. You can see two cobalts still kind of working. And you see the bro cobalt.

It's still just like panting up against the door. And you also go ahead and give me a perception check. Can we in that one? That one. OK. What do I see? You see, there are some ants under there. Believe it or under there believe it

Believe it or not a lot of bugs get in here. We got an infestation There's no there's no roof. So you know bugs just get in I gather my pick some skaters My packers under there Because I'm sure in pop-up eats a skater Like bit of tongue He starts going, ah. It like bit up on the tongue as you go. He's got his hands. He's got scratches. He scratches on his tongue with his little claws.

Quit you dirty beast. Oh, there's still a bully wug in the room. OK, you, oh, sorry. You guys still have one bully wug in the room with you guys. Uh-huh. But also a bunch of ants. And he's almost dead, right? He has actually not been hit.

Beverly has just been ignoring him. Great. OK, all right. So it is. It is now that bully wokes turn so he is going to now rush over to Bev Like he fun ritz I have fucking I camp it's it's insane. Why can't you be really? Okay, how much is he critical? I I rolled bad on damage. So he only does six damage. Okay, great Bev, where are you at I'm at a livin? Okay, so yeah, this bully was pretty fucked up. Great. Okay, great. Bev, what are you at? I'm at a live and, okay, so. Yeah, I'm also pretty fucked up right now.

Not great. This bully woke slashes you, then that is back up to you, Moonshine. Things are getting pretty serious here. Uh-huh. I gotta look up a spell real quick. I really don't wanna have to like retreat to the green teens and sleep again.

I don't wanna have to do that. There's only four people left in this castle that we know that we know. Oh, we're definitely gonna have to retreat and sleep. This is a ghost castle. I'm going to, oh, this is a bonus action. Okay, so first I'm gonna take my shalei, go after Bollywood.

Bollywood, go for it. And I say, John, your brothers, you family oriented piece of shit. And I hit him like a jamboreen. Yeah, yeah, I'm the final jamboree. And then I hit him for 18.amboreen. Yeah, yeah, the final jamboreen. And then I hit him for 18. In hell. 18 hit that hits.

Yeah. Jamboreen in hell. And then I hit him for 10. 10. It's fun. He is on death's door. And then I spore him. Oh, he's dead.

I'm kidding. Please have mercy. And then I just hawk allugious spores him. Oh, he's dead. Trinidad. Um, and then I just hawk allugious spores in my hand and slap his face. Oh, I agree with this. Join your brothers in the dark, Embry. And then, as a bonus action, I would like to cast my second level healing spirit, which is just going to be in the corner of the room and anytime any of us goes there and enters that space or starts a turn, we get one D6 hit points back. Wow.

There's just a healing spirit. Yeah. Okay, healing spirit for, it's for a minute. So it's like for bad. What's the spirit's name? It's an effigy of pop-off. It's like a giant pop-off. Is it a giant pop-off?

Yes, it's a pop-off. Is it the pop-off for a normal pop-off pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop it says come to me if you need healing Beverly and he's got like things he's been what's he talking about like so much he's got like so much uh pregnant looking nipples that he's just a nipple to pop pop I suck from my teeth to be healed. Ders from my udders beckerdly. Come suck at my udders. And then I'm gonna also run into the space and get a dX. Suck at my teeth, mother.

D-Thank you, pop off. Moonshine, you see Moonshine just filet a giant spuff possums teet. And she looks better. Y'all the milk is warm. Hard one is like, I might rather die, but thank you. I rush, I guess, wait, it's not my turn, but I try to play it cool, but I am going to start sideling towards mega pop balls.

It is actually the cobalt's turn, but you hear on the other side of the door, you hear the guy go, Hey bro, can we talk? Oh shit. Oh no. No. I want to, we talk to this dude.

Yeah, you hear whispers on the other side. You guys gotta get some more healing. But okay, yeah, plan, plan. All right, man. What? What's, how much do you squat? Can I be okay? Do you want me to be honest with you? Yeah, okay, so I'm only like two feet tall and I only weigh like 80 pounds So I do like 110 pounds, which is like a lot more than my body weight So like you should respect that cool. Thanks cool. It means a lot that do. All right. What else? OK, so check it out here.

We're pretty craven bunch. I don't super want to fight anymore. OK, so we knew you guys were coming back and you guys fucked up the bullie wugs. You fucked up us. So we said, hey, bullie wug king, you can come live here. You could be your king because you killed our other guys. The bullie wug king is fucking here, man. so if you guys just want it like he is hiding up in

the tower so I'm willing to sell him out if you guys just let us open up the door and run off into the swamp tell you what we're gonna let you live but you got to kill those other two cobalt with you I didn't roll a hell-y-action check. Munchan does a quiet breathy. Y'all. Let's just see what my person's waiting thing is. Hard ones? 12, okay.

Let me see what he rolls. Beverly is watching Hard ones muscles flex involuntarily. He rolled a three. So he is so easily convinced. He just goes like, right man, be better get me four guys. And goes like, hey, oh, Bill, Bill and Phil guys, uh, turn it, Bill and Phil. Bill and Phil, because all the cobalt's names rhyme. Guys, guys, Bill and Phil, you guys just turn around. Uh, if we can climb up the wall, they said, we'll let him say, I'm so fucking sorry.

And he just, you're, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I was so ripped out, I'm sorry, Bill. And he hear Phil be like, dude, you fucking kill him, Bill. And he just stabs, he stabs Phil too. Then, uh, and then you hear Silas, he goes, all right, man, we're cool. Hard one opens the door. All right, hey man, thanks.

We're looking to tap this to the top. They do like the predator high five. Some of them like clench hands. They're so muscular. Oh my god. I think I'd get down on one new to give it to you. Just this little mini beef cake. I'm proud of you little dude.

Oh, there you go. This kids a regular dirling. Yeah, before we completely exit combat, can you all just come get some healing milk? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I run over. Since we have them for a minute. What's up with this healing milk?

You're not touching it. Sorry. Yeah. Aren't you lactose intolerant? Oh, we should let him do it. Cause if he's gonna help us kill this bullie walk king, maybe we can do that. I'm down.

I actually, so here's the thing. You guys killed my whole family and I killed some of my family. So I'm lost out here, man. Can I do a perception check? They were just my friends, dude. Do you want to do insight? Yeah, I want to do an insight check to find out if I... If we trust him. I am nine.

He just seems freaked out. Okay. I'm over at the tea and I'm like, what's going on? Who's this guy? Oh, just wondering, yes Beverly, suck from the teetopalore.

I'm like, I'm gonna kill his two friends. I'm just a tiny little taste. Yeah, just a little. Okay, maybe they can get a couple, because we have it for a minute. Maybe they can get more. Well, here are six nipples, and maybe we all just hop on one, right?

Yeah, I think I'll have one. Just hop on one. Let's all go have a nice little orgy with pop-up. Yeah, I think all of the dms they have. So real pop-up also drinks from fan and pop-up. You guys all drink. Pop-ups, quit being greedy. You're drinking too much.

And then at some point, I'm gonna slap the cobalt's face away, so that you guys can get as much as the rest of us. He's really ravenously going out. He's not protein yet, you know, he's not sharp. He's not protein, he's not protein, he's just broke. Yeah, sorry. Oh, oh, stop.

This is like, what is this little dragon rats doing at my nip. Get him off. I slap him. I slap him. I slap him. Get up the cookies and cookies. Sorry, yeah. Get a little lizard man.

Mind tasted like mint, dude. Mine was raspberry. Wow. Yeah. Whatever we imagine. Hey, what's your name, bud? My name's Josh. Hey, Josh, I'm Beverly.

Nice to meet you. Phil Lil Bill Josh. Yeah. Yeah. You know what? I feel like you're my new family, and I say that because you killed my family, and I don't have a family now. It's fair, that's equivalent.

So we should. Sure, Josh, why don't you prove you're worth before you start making declarations? Take us to the king. Take us to the king, and you lead the way. Yes, ma'am. You guys suddenly hear. We're still stealthing. You're still stealthing.

Do we... What health restoration do we get? One is at a D6. So it's a D6, but we can't get a little more. Yeah, because you guys did it out of context. You got a couple rounds of it. So how long does it last? It lasts for a minute.

Oh, dope. Okay, so that's like 10 rounds, so you guys just sucking at this teeth like a little health. So it's full health. If you guys suck at this teeth for a full minute No, we just stay here making your ball in the sounds for a full minute. Uh-huh. You guys can have full health back I we got no we have full stealth. We are stealthily working the stop nibbling Do not nibble mother Mother this Mother what's doing it? nibbling do not nibble mother mother this hurt Mother what's doing it sensually? Okay, you over there cut it out

The cobalt is just flicking it You guys you guys suck this milk for full health you guys do you suddenly here? He's not in the here like a splash like somebody jumped out of the tower out back. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Oh, he might, he's, he's turned a tail and run in. Oh, no, is that the king? That's the freaking king. He had a guy with him too.

Well, if you want a family, you better go get him, huh? Let's all go. You better earn your milk. You better earn your milk. All right, guys, pound it up. pound it up. He'll be able to fix up. I doubt it.

I doubt it. Okay, Josh leads you guys. I give him a thumbs up. Josh leads you guys through the give him that thumbs up. Josh leads you guys through the door. So you guys run through the sleeping area. Josh leads the way. You guys go up into the tower

and go up the spiral staircase. You get up to the top. This tower doesn't have a roof. It's open air. You look around and you see dragon bones lining the wall and like a small pile of treasure. It looks like the old adventurers, like maybe weren't able to carry everything

when they killed the dragon, so there's still treasure there. You also see a Crick Bully wug tied to the dragon bones. And he just goes, oh hey, off, I knew if you knew people were coming, I would have made a lunch. Just kidding lunch just kidding Just kidding I'm in Kevin kidnap I'm in big don't get you how you stray so far from the rig?

What are you from the crick? I am from the crick. How'd you get how'd you get all the way out of your From the crick? John Bola is a steve in there is jump like could you do me a favor in on time? You know what he's just so nice to find to meet some people with some hospitality around here I wish I had the king he just jumped out the he jumped off the tower into the water Oh, he's just swimming out there looking at him. He's just swimming away Okay I throw I throw Josh The boy is like swimming So you're just yell

Let me actually roll C. I'll... So you're just y'all... FOOT DOOOOOOOM! Pshh! And then silence. And then you just... You see, little giant body. It just float up to...

What's the fuck? Rooin' giant? I thought I was gonna hit the cake! You killed Josh! You killed Josh! You killed Josh there! You like Josh! You killed Josh! You killed Josh there! You are Josh too? I don't know.

Josh actually kicked me when I came in. All right, he was a bad guy. He was a bad guy. I did not mean to kill him. I was trying to get that King Boywag. Oh, hey. That's cool. Should we go ask the King Boywag?

Have the Dragon Egg? Yeah, there's not the Dragon Egg's not in this room right now I didn't know there was a dragon egg you are so You're so good Hospitality let me talk to you turns over to moonshine. Oh, how are you? Pretty nice day. Did you see the sun says do you want a wrestle? No Did you see the sunset? Do you want a wrestle? Yeah, I love it. No time for wrestling.

Because you want to have a battle. Someone just made off with the dragon's egg. Someone, I did, oh, the bully wugs didn't have a dragon's egg. They did not. No, no, no. So it's still an egg? Well, I was really, okay, so here's what happened. So the bully wugs turned out, they're kind of bullies.

The bully wugs are out. Crick bully wugs out. We got hospitality, you know, who wrestle? We'll kind of run around have a little fun, but You see he's a lot shorter than normal bully woke. He's about knee high and we only we only come up about knee highs Teeth are fucked up You know, we lost like these bully was anyway, so some may write the crick so mean Me and a few of my friends came out here in the swamp, me and my daddy and stuff,

but a troll kicked my dad. I was like, dad, my dad, dad. He kicked my dad. You know, did he kick my dad? Did he kick my dad? He did. He did mean some of the crick bullet wards was waiting around for the troll to fall asleep

so we could get him, so we can get him back for kicking my dad, but then the troll woke up and he just kicked some of my friends and you know so all your friends are dead right now. A lot of my friends are dead a lot of them are dead you know some of them are still out there but you know I got cash up now. Okay, I got cash up. You're going a mile minute and I understand it life is exciting we're having a good time but sometimes I'm just so happy to see some nice folks around here.

So pop up first off. Go chew that. Go chew that, uh, Crick Bully Wunk-Free. You see that, you see pop up almost at a force of habit, goes to start wrestling him. Oh, this is fun. I like this little guy. He's nice. He's nice.

He is nice. You two wrestle a little bit. Oh, we win wrestle. You can't ride pop up. He's choosing about, no, he's not, he's bigger than He is nice, you two wrestle a little bit. Oh, we win, wrestle. We could've got to ride Bopla. He's choosing out now, he's bigger than Bopla. He's like two feet tall. He's about knee height, you know? Bopla's not knee height.

I think Beverly Residant's not being the cutest member of the group anymore. Yeah, he's this little orange bully bug that's like two feet tall. He's got big, rosy cheeks. How you doing, how you doing, y'all? My name's Jonah. Hey Jonah, just let me cheat.

Yeah, I'm hard work here for a nice to meet you. Okay, Just keep your mouth closed. So I was you know I was out here with my family. I went out to get some bugs. We go you know we like to eat flies and such. So I'm going out. I'm going out to get myself a snack day after. My daddy gets kicked to death right and several of my other friends get kicked to death. You know some may ride the creek but the creek, but some ain't right, seems like some ain't right everywhere these days. Is what I would say.

So these bully bugs, they go, well, I'm gonna make you, I'm gonna make you go out and do work for us. You're gonna catch us flies and stuff. And I say, flies, you want me to catch a fly with my tongue and then put a fly in your mouth. That is disgusting. So they, you know, they started tying me up. They started tying me up. I don't know what you're talking about.

I can tell you what I know. Okay. So I go for it. I'm so you've dragged around by these bullywoks. You got no hospitality. Let me tell you that. So they dragged me around. So y'all must have, y'all were the ones that killed a bunch of them the other day, right? Correct. Yes, guilty estuars. That's nice of you, because I did not like them. They had no hospitality. So they were actually planning on going to that old,

they were talking about the bay, they were gonna steal the staff from the bay, right? The bully wugs wanted to steal the staff. The bully wugs wanted to get some weapons, so they wanted to go to moonstone so that they can take the trident. Oh they can, you know, take the trident. Oh my gosh, they could take that little trident. So they were going to take that, but then, so the cobalt, you know, they had lots of weapons and stuff because they used to have the dragon here, dragon will give them stuff and such, what I hear, you know, just kind of gossip around the swamp and been out here.

Oh, I love that. From a daddy got kicked by a troll. I just wanted the record to show that Beverly does not like Jonah. Ha, ha, ha. OK. I'm out of ammo. So the winging cobalt shows up. And he says that the bully wolf king

could be the new king of the cobalt and that they had a special sword for him. Oh, he run away with that sword then. bully wolf picked up that sword. And that sword did not have good hospitality. I'll tell you what. Oh, it had some of that bad. Oh, some of that bad juju. Some of that bad juju. You see, it was a cursed sword. I would say so. Okay. Yeah. Kind of reminds me of some of the stuff that's going on to crick. Yeah. Some bad juju. I have the crick. I was thinking about that later. We'll talk about that later. I'll tell you something, right?

I was out there, my uncle cousin, which one? My uncle cousin. Oh, one, no. Yeah. I know him, Jebadi. Jebadi, the creek bully, right? He drank some creek water.

He turned into a frog. He met just a big old frog monster. I had to kick him to death. No way. He kicked him in. That's a hush, little bull. had to kick him to death. No way. Yeah. That's a huddle. I had to kick him to death. That's not how spittable. You know, but he ate my cousin F.U.

So. You know that is so interesting to hear because Creekwater, as everyone knows, it's highly caffeinated in a little bit alcoholic, but I never heard of it turning anyone into hemisphoes. So they just mentioned to us that they were as the sword. They didn't say anything about the egg. Okay, so we'll do well. We'll look for the egg.

But you guys are, you know, why don't we help ourselves with this treasure here? Because there is a lot of treasure. Oh yeah. Well, did Grab some of the gold and jumped into the water with it. I don't know. The blue, he ran off, the blue-wag king ran off with the sword.

With the sword. With the sword and a cobalt or anything else. Well, he grabbed a nice shield out of here There was kind of a cool looking shield. It was shiny. It was nice. It sound cool. He also had a cool cloak I'm a star making it so treasure I'm picking up some treasure We look around the look through the treasure you guys spent some time taking all the treasure you guys get 120 gold 390 silver 120 gold, 390 silver, 453 copper.

Oh, on shit. Hard one, you find in there two masterwork throwing axes, like two really well made throwing axes. Those are plenty. Good thing that boomerang shit didn't come back to me. You guys find these green, really lightweight boots. These are boots of Elvin Kind. They give you advantage on stealth rolls. Y'all, I think these might be my size.

You also find a beautiful oak fiddle. That says, oh my God. Oh, Betsy, written on it. Old Betsy. Old Betsy. Old Betsy. Old Betsy. Yeah.

I play the strings and they're very out of tune and I say less sounds with my violin appreciation Merritt patch that just means you like violin. Yeah, no, I can tell that this is a good violin. Okay, you see Jonah Start slap and his name we have an a jamboree now. I put my hand on his on his arm. Jonah. I'm so sorry The jamboree is Cancel. Jonah, I'm so sorry. But the jamboreen is canceled. Jamboreen is currently canceled. Which jamboreen are you talking about? Cause I'm just talking about any jamboreen. I love your friends.

I love your friends. We use your friends. It's always jamboreen. So as Jonah's doing this, Beverly, you kind of, as you guys are collecting the gold and stuff, something catches your eye. You pick up what you think is a gold piece, but it is an amulet of pallor.

It has a sunburst. I know this isgel. With a, it has a gold chain, and then it's a big platinum, you know, circular, it looks like a locket almost, and on the front is a sunburst. And you pick it up, and as soon as you pick it up, you recognize it as being the

Allah's. Guys. Guys! Oh, it's necklace. It's scared the shit out of me. Sorry. From the poster on your wall. This is the Allah's necklace.

It's a holy relic. And you see as you say that it cracks. I can fix this. That's where we'll end our session. Whoa. Holy shit. That was a fun one, guys. All right, the all is necklace.

The all is necklace, guys. Is it all Betsy Fiddles do anything? It's a fiddle. Fiddles real good. You'll have to check it out next time. Okay, guys, check out our subreddit. Are not another DND podcast. We're in there. Yeah, guys, at the end of the episode, we always do shout outs in character. So rate the show, give us five stars and request which character you want to shout out from and we'll shout you out at the

end of the show. It's really fun. Follow us on Twitter at J. Kerwitz at Yaxford at called the at CH. Murph is me by our book. Emily and I have a relationship advice, a theoretical relationship advice book out called Hey You Up, How to Turn Your Booty Call into Emergency Contact to build on a different type of humor from this. There's no D&D. Wouldn't it be fun to see different sides of a regular one? There is a fantasy map in it though.

That's true. It's beautifully illustrated. There are a few references to Lord of the Rings because how could we not be? Every going on our win, is there a more pure relationship? Listen if I were you, watch Straffi, YouTube.com, Slice Straffi, and check out 8-bit book club with me, Emily and Caldwell. Yeah, tweet about the show using hashtag NAD pod. Yeah. Oh, D baby. We are, we are, the nation, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are.

Hey guys, thanks for listening. We're going to do our shout outs now. Starting with DM shout outs, M Poletti 1028 and 99 knives. You requested shout outs from me, the Dungeon Master, aka the direct messenger himself, so here's a direct message to you. You guys rule. Hunter Hunt and you asked for a shoutout from a bunch of people, so instead they'll get a shoutout from Scout Master Denny. A green teen is never needy. Asking for too many shoutouts is just plain greedy. Two people asked for bullywug shoutouts and one suggested that it should be a bullywug that was just about

to retire so here we go. Lady Apple saws, I'm gonna do one last shoutout and then I'm quitting this job. Oh no, I've just been stabbed by Reggie Miles! I was supposed to open a dentist office! That's it for me guys, let's catch up with hard one, Beverly and Moon Shine. The Mexican Edgar, the bastard of the border. Luke, John Cox, the Cox fighter, Coxshire and Sure Cox. Becky and KC, Becky with the Good Quads. Gabby Garcia, the town's folk gab of your grace and courage. Be mart 847, the dagger of the deep, my brother in arms. David A. from Maine, the lobster lord, champion of strong claw. Daddy

lair, the godless father, dear hunter, the doe headman. A hearty thanks from this hearty dwarfin." An excerpt from the diary of Beverly Togled, fifth leaf green teen and co-secretary of the Glateron High School Enchanted Chess Watching Club. Dear diary, my scoutmaster hard one has a lot of cool nicknames like Pride of the Dwarfenage and Beware of the Mountain, and it got me thinking, if I had a nickname, what would it be? Here's a list of potential nicknames that I think would be just swell. Tough fluff, Jeffrey Carbine, Delan Mast, Zeno Loaf, ooh I like that one. Kegan, Ryan Firth, ER888, Lamby Ramby,

or Bizarre Nate. Wow, huh, that one sounds like some sort of a tomaton. Maybe I'll ask hard one himself what he thinks, but I have a bad feeling he'll just something like little stain, which I've got mixed feelings about. Until next time, Beverly, insert nickname here, Toe Gold the Fifth.

Hey y'all, Moonchin here. Just wanted to extend my weddest, warmest, well wishes to Aaron T. Cleveland, EA Deportes, Stash Ninja, all-gazastow, and Jojo hats. The team of you is more fun than a bully-wugging heat during a full moon. Oh, and pop over here, just hacked up a pile of half-digested crickets to form the words,

tearing it up 25. Whatever that means. That was a hit gun podcast.