Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 63: Grimhawk Manor (The Shadowfell Saga with Brennan Lee Mulligan)
Episode Date: May 30, 2019The Band of Boobs and Deadeye prepare to face the Montgomery family, but run into some trouble along the way. Hardwon is put in timeout, Moonshine gets the truth out of Deadeye, and Beverly d...oes Balnor proud. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music/Sound Effects Include:"Crackling Fire" by sagetyrtle at Freesound.org."Gutless" by Emily Axford."The Montgomerys" by Emily Axford."Deadeye" by Emily Axford. "Growing Pains" by Emily Axford. "Montgomery Manor" by Emily Axford."Shadowfell Sneak" by Emily Axford. "Two for Tea" by Emily Axford. "The Red Fen" by Emily Axford."The Fat Monk" by Emily Axford."Sea Beast" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Goodbye, Sweeties.
Welcome to the campaign after the campaign.
This is not another D&D podcast.
Welcome back to Bahumi everyone.
Bahumi.
Bahumi.
Bahumi.
I'm your Dun master, Brian Murphy,
joined by Jake Harwitz.
Everyone.
Ah!
Sweet as.
Emily Axford.
Moonshan Sabin,
beautiful daughter of the dusk mother,
praise be we love you, darkness,
and called all dinner.
Beverly Togo, the fifth, Coach Bortram's favorite.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, okay.
And once again, special guest, Brennan Lee Mulligan.
Did I sobbing if they're sagging your ass?
Cut them off with the pass.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
You're like, yeah.
To have bright flashbacks.
You guys did cut them off at the pass.
Guys, let's do a little recap.
So last week, Bevin Munchine entered the church of the Revenants and met the leader of
the Knights of Penance, Bortrum.
You bonded over your shared hatred of the vampires and love of religion, but during your
talk, Hard one went full vampire spawn and told Dead Eye to shoot on Bortram.
The old gunslinger snuck in to warn the others about Hard one's shifting demeanor, but when
you went out to check on him, he was gone.
Immediately upon Hard one's departure, you just happened to meet Jivelyn, a dwarven barbarian,
and the newest member of the Knights of Penance.
He said that he'd seen Hard one heading towards the Red Fen, so you rushed off. Munchine as a Raven clacked Scarlet, Whalen and their Posse of Vampire
spawn along with hard one heading home to Grimhawk Manor. You all rushed up and ambushed them
from the rooftops, taking out Scarlet Montgomery in a single round. You had a knockdown dragout
fight with Whalen and his spawn, but emerged victorious, the two Mount Gumberneys
in Mist Form began retreating to their manner
to regenerate meanwhile,
Moonshine was able to polymorph vampire spawn hard one
and temporarily get him under control,
and that's where we are now.
Okay.
Ah!
So you guys are in, let's say like an alley.
It is about four or five in the morning.
I'll say just for timeline because we need to be strategic
about dead vampires and dead revenants and whatnot.
We'll say you guys had your run in with the revenants
at about midnight and now it's about like five in the morning.
Oh.
Do they take 24 hours to come back?
They do take 24 hours to come back, yeah.
JV, by the way, great work out there.
Great work on alongside you.
Yeah.
It showed great restraint when it came to not attacking
the possum hard one.
I was quite frightened.
I was quite frightened.
I was understandable.
It was strength not to run away.
Using that rage as a shield there.
Yes, yes. May I catch your bottom? Yes. He's in that rage as the shield there. Yes, he is.
May I catch your bottom?
Yes.
All right, there you go.
Hey, good luck.
I'm out there.
Oh, thank you.
Anyway, we probably shouldn't be standing around
a bunch of dead vampires.
No, no, no, vampire.
All right, dead I know you got a house
and I don't mean to invite people over to your place
because that's somewhat rude,
but can I invite some friends over to your place?
As much as I would love to see my wonderful,
comfortable home again.
It's like a bunch of thrift stores,
all on top of each other.
I like to think about it as my own personal temple
to madness, but yeah, sure, right?
Yeah, that's a true story.
So you've got something in your worship.
God damn it, look, I'm got him.
All right, there's a lot of empty houses.
Why don't we just let ourselves in?
One thing I want to ask is,
Bo was probably back at the red fin.
Do we want to stop and pay him a visit on our way?
Just, I mean, my health ain't great,
but I got spells to burn.
I have Bortram nods.
I could pop a vampire.
Is he up in that room still?
He's probably up in the room still.
Could we just?
And we also still got your pass without trace, so I think we can just head upstairs. And if we want to.
Pass without trace is actually definitely gone because it's concentration. Gotcha. If we want to
create the illusion that the revenants are just hitting up every spot and bringing a ward of
vampires, I think pop and bow might be a good strategy. I'd love to do that. I think I got
I got this weird idea. What if one of us went in and
Like held the door and then we could go in through the window. So if he tried to escape
Bortrum speaks up. Well if we're talking about getting into one of the private rooms
You can get up to the rooms from the outside. We can go around back
We don't necessarily have to walk in the front door. That's sure he's also probably not a coward
I was thinking like we would go into the window and he would immediately run away
He might do that. Bo is a I hate to say it, but he's a he's a knucklehead
Yeah, I guess like while we're on our never heard of anything like that. Oh, no go ahead. Okay. I see
Yeah, I guess like while we're on our way also you guys have a
Insane possum right now a big possum bear. Oh, I won't make you guys constantly
I got a lot of checks because between all of you guys Paulie Morpheus. I can't catch fucking flame arrows on you
Oh, what are you what, it is a problem.
You do have like, just a wild ass dog essentially.
I try to write it.
Uh, okay.
I get up on the possum, and I kind of like,
straddle it, and then I whisper into its ear, and it's like,
it's okay, hardball.
It's okay, we're gonna get you through this.
Okay, Bev, go ahead and do an animal handling check.
Rear, I rear.
It's only at 13.
Possum hard one does bite you right on the nose.
Okay, ow.
Quite hard too, just like a vicious, vicious dog.
Oh, okay, all right, well.
I guess I'm just wondering, like, yeah,
let's go fuck up bow, but like might it be worth
deposit in hard paw into some arm-war and
Let's go
Let's find let's find a place to lie low real quick. There's empty houses all around town
We'll find a new little base operations. We'll head over to the red family. We got to do this fast. Yeah, okay
So I like can we look around for an empty house?
That's like in the back really so you you guys, so RedFen is like kind of in between
uptown and downtown, downtown's where like the kind of
peasants and mortals live, uptown's where the vampires are.
So you guys get to like the edge of downtown and uptown
and pretty quickly you're able to find a place that's like
a duplex next to a person who is a shell.
So no one can notice, but Windows are boarded up.
You don't see any light on inside.
I'm looking for a basement or an attic.
Most of them are like two levels.
You don't know that you'd find a basement seller.
Yeah, you might find a seller.
Go ahead and we'll just do a pure luck check.
First house, go ahead and roll.
I'll say 10 or higher.
I got an eight.
And eight, okay, first house is no good.
We'll say 10 minutes has passed.
Next house.
I'll just split up and like check the house.
I'm gonna give advantage on this next roll.
Okay, okay, so I'll say that you guys are kinda
splitting up and going to houses next to each other.
17.
Okay, you find a house that has like a dusty old wine cellar with a few
bottles left. I'm gonna take in hard pa, take them at screaming. I'm gonna take
them in the wine cellar and then I'm gonna cast a fifth level gay-ass. Okay.
And just tell him stay. As moonshine is doing this,
I'm gonna look over real quick.
My dead eye gets cold and the pupil shrinks
all the way down in my dead eye
till it finally disappears
and the shadows in the room stretch
and I'm going to take a disheartened action
to give a hard paw disadvantage
on his next wisdom saving throw.
That's gonna say, my sister wants you to listen to him,
so you better listen.
Yeah, now it's a family affair, take a straight.
And I would like to pour some beer in a bowl.
Is that gonna break the Polymorph, Ham?
No, it doesn't have required concentration.
Okay, cool, nice.
Okay, so moonshine casts Gaias.
She has issued a command, a hard one.
Hard one, go ahead and give me a wisdom saving throw
with disadvantage.
214s.
Okay, then he fails.
Okay.
Yes. So for the next 30 days.
I can release it sooner, but for the next 30 days,
he's going to stay in here.
Okay.
If he acts in a manner directly countered
to my instructions, then he'll take damage.
Got it.
So here's what I'll say, based on kind of what you've seen
with the way that hard one as a spawn was acting
when around the Monk Umries.
It seems like Scarlet Monk Humry has like the closest
Relationship with him because she's the one who turned him so if she were to come back she might be able to just like
Make him come to her, but the other Monk gumries would probably need to be like within society
Okay, yeah, that's what I'm saying. So it's not it's it's certainly a good idea. Yeah, okay, so you just told him to stay
It's not it's it's certainly a good idea. Yeah, okay, okay, so you just told him to stay So I hold this thing there so mad still just like sitting there
All right, let's try and make it nice though. We sweep up. We make it a nice little cell
I fashion like a little possum chute toy a scratch my like bony chin and go
No wonder if we got like a spare door off of a pantry and some spare lumber and built a little shed
pantry and some spare lumber and built a little shed in the doorway of the seller. And then I called that my house and made it and not invited into it.
Would he not be able to leave extra? Is that one more double double safety?
Maybe there's a rule book in the Montgomery National Church.
Actually, I'm going to modify it to stay, but enjoy yourself. I'm here. I'm here.
I'm here.
Do we want to put some?
I was going to be so joy your stay.
Is my new game.
Possum hard one now doesn't like you,
but dang it, he respects you.
We want to put some blood in a bowl
in case he gets hungry.
All right, I prick my thumb.
You just take giving them the taste for it.
Yeah, I'm pouring it in. I think we're past that I
look up like a maniac
Doesn't seem healthy at all. Okay, so does everyone feel like this is like this is safe to leave them here
This is best we gonna do. I think we should head to red fan before all right. Let's do it
So just to be clear just so we know what we're dealing with as far as the Montgomery's are concerned
There are seven siblings and then Ambrose himself So just to be clear, just so we know what we're dealing with, as far as the Montgomery's are concerned.
There are seven siblings, and then Ambrose himself.
You've got Scarlett and Wagland,
who we've already missed it, yeah,
then we've got Beau over at the Red Fen.
Then there are a bunch of other sick puppies
who mostly just spend their time at the man
or who never really leave the house.
You got Priscilla, who's this extremely powerful little girl.
She's pretty much attached at the hip to her sister, Dolly.
Then you've got Wyatt, who's this kind of half giant.
He's more beast than vampire, really.
Maybe worst of all, you got Petunia,
who in a sick family, she might be the sickest.
She wants captured one of my revenants
and tortured him so bad that he renounced the Duskmother
and decided to go to hell instead of deal with her.
So that's where we're at.
No one rebelled against their breeding.
We don't got one of them who's working against the fam.
No, a prison company excluded.
Looks at the possum,
just lapping up blood.
Vampires tend to not be great people.
Yeah, I mean, we got a lot of people,
two down, what's that five more to go?
Four more to go?
Let's whittle.
Yeah, well, five more kids and then daddy.
Mm-hmm, then daddy.
Yeah, I mean, we're going after Bill right now.
Let's go ahead and miss Bill.
Yeah, okay, let's do it.
How do we wanna go about this?
Go up the back, not through the main place.
I'll go ahead and knock on the door
and when he opens up I'll blast him.
Yeah, sounds great.
Cool.
So you guys head on over near the Red Fen.
I'll say you guys are,
I'm not even gonna make you do stealth checks
because there are mortals up here.
It's getting late, there's not as many people around.
Believe it or not, the sun does rise in a shadow fell,
but it's only for like a few hours each day.
It's just this like a big old dead star,
near dead star rather, that's like this dark red color
that shines this bleak red
Across these like black clouds. You guys haven't gotten to see it yet
But did I knows all about it? It's kind of just how you tell
Did I you said that this place sucks, but this is beautiful sunrise. It's a take on a sunrise a different take on a sunrise
But it's beautiful. Yeah, you didn't tell us you had a blood star you
Have to understand that your optimism is a dagger in my heart every time you speak
You know some people say that the blood star is actually the dusk mother showing the light and the darkness
Yes, I agree the death. I was gonna
I was gonna ask
I'll price at the desk
We are the blood star
Shads in the dark.
That is blood star in the dark.
That's how every song ends.
We have shaman in the dark.
Yeah, we are, you know, there's only like four or five
but none of us are musicians.
We do our best.
Okay.
Right on, right on.
Right on.
So as you guys approach the back though,
you guys might draw attention
if you're trying to climb up to a balcony or something.
You know he's on the second floor,
so let me know who's going and what you guys are doing
as you round the back.
Probably.
I wanna sneak and see if anyone's out back.
Okay, moonshine, go ahead and give me a stealth check.
Are you pass without tracing or anything?
No, back.
Okay, you're just gonna walk back.
20.
Okay.
Go ahead and give me just like a pure luck check
to see kind of who's back there.
Three.
Three.
Okay, not great.
A vampire couple is back there just making out.
They seem like kind of non-combatants,
but there are three vampire spawn back there
like leaning up against the building, and you see
above them on the second floor are two balconies. It looks like there's two
rooms that have balconies on the second floor there. Are they like smoking blood
cigarettes? Yes. Wow. They're vaping. They're vaping. They're vaping blood-lavered
mist. One of them is doing strawberry, but
These these spawn let me into his room not more than a few hours ago. I could I could maybe I throw a y'all in the bag Walking there like I got loot for him and then I just dump y'all out the bad at oh
Yeah, hey JV so we got a bag of holding and it really sucks to be in there
You can only be in there for a very short time.
It's not so bad.
It's pretty demeaning.
We have fun in there.
It's no time out sack is what I'm saying.
Oh, the time out sack.
Yes, a bunch of children hopped out of that bag
and they attacked my mate.
Wow, we really brutalized your people, huh?
Oh, yeah.
We tried to kill them, this, though.
Yeah, I once saw them back
when back in my day I saw travel or some kind of bandit get pulled into the time out bag and
the noise haunts me to this day. I thought my death was that.
Second base to death. I think if you if you think you can hoof it up the stairs quick enough
because we may have to hop out of the bag of holding
if it gets to be too long, there's a hiccup.
I'm just gonna walk up the back steps
and go right to the room.
So not everybody's gonna be able to,
so it's a 500 pound limit.
So.
Well, I do have two second level,
so I could do invisibility on someone.
Hmm, you could certainly do invisibility on someone.
You could certainly do that. I think the people who are going to weigh the most is our friend, JV and
Bortram is fucking biggest hell.
Also, point out which one, because young Bev and myself can
misty step to that balcony.
That's very true.
Oh, you sure can.
Oh, wait, no, I don't have enough stuff.
You see Bortram also goes, I don't, I don't have enough stuff. You see, you see Bortram also goes, I don't wanna start a scene here,
but if you need me to, I could just run in
and start raking the spawn guys.
Maybe that actually would be good to provide us some cover
because we're gonna make a ruckus upstairs.
Let me join you.
I want to be a shield.
Oh, you know what, but JV,
maybe we need you upstairs.
I'll go with after I'm dating. I think that we might need a shield upstairs
You send me in yeah, all right. I'll
Just so agreeable. Yeah, I just want to tell you that you are very hospitable and that is an increasingly rare
Quality in this world. You know what?
He points to Bound or
This guy here doesn't have you know, he's got a lot of grit, he's got a lot of heart,
but he doesn't have magic weapon.
I don't think he's going to be able to do too much against our friend Bo there, so what
doesn't he stay down here with me?
We take on these three knuckleheads down here.
You cool with that Boundor?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Alright.
Yeah, I'm cool with what I can also go up with you guys.
It's up to you.
Just Boundor, let me know if you get hurt or something because you aren't gonna have someone to heal you.
It's just the three spawn down here.
Okay.
They'll be okay.
Two quick questions.
Can you all hear what's going on outside the bag?
You could like crack it, yeah.
Okay, so we can crack it, you can hear
and you guys can jump out on your own.
Yeah.
All right, then you jump out when you hear
the first shot ring out.
All right.
Sounds perfect.
It works for me.
So then, is it okay, so then?
I don't think I ever debased myself to go into the bag,
but I guess there's a first for everything.
Oh!
So I'll say, if you guys, if you guys unload some of your stuff
and maybe like hide, I guess you guys don't even
have that much loot anymore.
Why don't I just miss these stuff out?
You just miss the stuff out in there.
And I wait for the first shot to go in.
Can we give Balnor the Queen Samor?
I think you can. He on in there. And I wait for the first shot to go in. Can we give Balnor the Queen, Sam?
I think he's worthy.
I think he's worthy.
Only large possums can have that.
Oh, cool.
Before you go in, I would like to take a very warm sibling
embrace of dead eye and I would like to bestow upon him
flame arrows.
So for the next hour, he does an extra D6 fire damage.
Oh, he doesn't do enough damage.
Thank you so much.
For 12 shots.
Very cool.
Dead eye looks very touched by this hug.
You've truly given me some faith in our DNA.
Well, that means a lot, sister.
I owe you a lot of an explanation, and I'm, I don't know.
I had some hard time thinking about you and whaling those spawns.
We're going after you, watching them skaters get their fangs on you.
I am with the same at the time.
Yeah, you know what?
Explanations come when they, they're like flowers.
They blossom when it's like the right temperature and weather.
It's really great when the dust mother brings siblings to you.
Why are you putting your shirt?
Right.
Yeah, I gotta say, I mean having fun
being into the dust mother,
but that was just out of nowhere.
This is what I'm talking about.
You lead with the charm, but it's all evangelism.
There's only two people who ask you to have faith in this.
All right, everybody.
And it's fucking priests and colonists.
You're a fucking clown man.
Did I take it?
All right.
All right.
Just pat him on the butt.
Proud everybody.
Proud everybody.
You know what?
I'll stand here and if anything goes wrong,
I'll go after these three spawn here.
Perfect.
Yeah.
Moonshine, you misty-step up to the balcony
and we can pincer attack a little bit.
Yeah, you see the spawn are not like looking directly
up at the balcony, so you could do a stealth roll
and it'll be against their passive perception.
Ask per my brother's quest.
I'm gonna wait till I hear the first shot
and I'll just crouch on the belly.
Yeah, okay, sweet.
Do you, what do you guys want to do with Balnor?
Are you leaving him out here?
Are you putting him in the bag?
Leave him with coach.
Okay, I think JV, do you want to hop in the,
JV you want to hop in this act with me?
Yeah, right.
Yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm,
I'm gonna show you the ropes.
Baby JV, you hop in that sack and, yeah, that's gonna be a light yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, And Bev, hop in the bag. Moonshine is waiting there with Balnor and Bortram.
Dead Eye.
Well, I'm gonna missy step up before I hear the,
I wanna missy step up now.
Okay.
Go ahead and give me a stealth check then, Moonshine.
Oh, you know what, real quick,
I wanna use minor illusion to make a bunch of those masks
that the Revenants wear, like the Copper Mask.
Yes, yes.
So that it looks like Dead Eye has gone hunting
and came back with a full stack of them.
Okay, sweet.
So Bev is in the bag with JV,
makes a bunch of these illusory masks
to make it look like Dead Eye's coming back
to bow with a proper bounty.
Meanwhile, moonshine, go ahead and give me that,
still check.
It's gonna be a 14. Nobody sees you, believe it or not. The spawn are just kind of standing there
robotic. They are under the command of Beaumont Gumrie, who is not the most perceptive or smart
who is not the most perceptive or smart vampire that has ever lived. Munchine, as these guys walk around, you've already missed you stepped up, so you see what's going on in here.
You see Beaumont-Gummary. You had never seen him before, but he looks kind of like Whalen,
except where as Whalen was very well preserved and fancy, Beaumont-Gumm Bow is all strung out.
He's like shirtless under his red smoking jacket.
He looks to be like sweating.
His silver hair is all stringy and frayed.
You see that there is already a young man's body
on the ground in the room.
And you see that he is currently going at the neck sucking the blood of
that girl Sandy who you saw earlier in the night. I am going to bite my tongue out of faith from
my brother and even though he hates faith, I'm just gonna put faith in dead eye and say I really
want to go in and say this girl right now but I'm just gonna assume that, I'm just gonna put faith in dead eye and say, I really wanna go in and say this girl
right now, but I'm just gonna assume that that,
I'm just gonna wait for that sound of the bullet.
Sweet, so dead eye and the little guys in the bag.
Um, dead eye you walk right into the red fin.
It is almost a sun up and vampires, even though there's enough cloud
coverage that it doesn't give them direct sun damage, they don't like to be out in it.
It's unpleasant for them, even if it doesn't deal direct damage.
So you see a lot of people are filing out, but there still are a couple vampire spawn
down here.
And a few mortals that are looking like super hungover,
either they just drank a ton
and nobody drank their blood
because they were annoying or something like that,
or people who have had their blood sucked
and are maybe shells now.
You do see amongst the kind of just like
nameless dumb party vampires that you either recognize
as just being like dumb fuck boys.
You do see Langston, kind of like one of the messenger boy guys,
is sitting at the bar and kind of clocks you as you walk in.
Cool, I'm gonna do the risky cowboy thing.
I'm gonna swing by Langston and with the sack over in my shoulder,
I'm just coming in with a bounty and I'm gonna go Hey, they're Langston
Scarlet and well and got misted they're calling for people back at the manor open the crimson house
Go ahead and give me a persuasion check
Oh shit, that's gonna be a 24 pretty pretty day good
You see Langston does a double take
Are you are you fucking serious man? I'm drunk right now. Hey man
You do what you want and he's and I was gonna keep walking
Shots as fucking people came in the goddamn biz God damn it fuck me fuck me fuck me
You see Langston starts to walk out I
Reach a mage hand out and pat him
My ribs clatter a little bit nervously
My ribs clatter a little bit nervously. You walk up the stairs and you see like earlier when you were visiting Bo, there are two
vampire spawn outside of his room.
Dead eyes gonna walk up and nod to both of them.
I have a word with Mr. Montgomery.
You see they look at you, they nod and then one of them lifts their hand out and knocks
on the door and you hear
bow from inside you hear like a shuffle like a moving of bodies what what
the fuck do you want? Got a bunch of brass masks out here and I want to collect
my bounty. Oh you gotta be fucking kidding me. Bow comes over opens up the door.
You see this strong attitude even more fucked up then before, blood running down his cheeks. You see this girl laid out on the bed.
He motions for you to come in, he closes the door.
Cool. As I'm walking in, can I turn to the two spawn and I just want to be like,
hey, Langston wanted me to tell you guys that I was here. If you want, I just
want to go get him. And I'm going gonna just walk into the room and close the door.
Okay, sweet.
And I'm gonna walk in, look at him.
Sandy is still alive.
Sheep's dead, still be breathing, yeah.
Great.
I'm gonna look at Bo and I'm going to set the bag down,
reach a hand in, grab that mask, take it down,
and I'm gonna be like, hey there pal,
rate him and weep, and I'm gonna throw
the illusory mask to him.
And while it's in mid-airair I'm gonna pump him full lead
I'm gonna hit him with Reba. This is gonna be the first
Remember that D6? Hell yes. Oh hell yeah
He's just like wait what the fuck? I like one of the the, I'm like, I want him to get out of the mess and then his hands are up.
He like, yeah.
Like boom, good.
Here's Reba, 22 to hit, super hits.
Okay, so this is gonna be
doubled sneak attack.
I mean, as soon as I hear it,
can I kick in the door and...
You're like the window?
Yeah, because I'm on the balcony and I'm like needing to hear the thing.
I'm waiting to hear the thing.
Can I like kick in and take an attack as well?
Yeah, I would say the time it takes you guys to roll out of the bag.
You guys will need to roll initiative, but I'll say MoonChine can get in there.
42 radiant damage on the first attack.
We're gonna throw Reba on the back with a free object interaction. We're gonna draw Luan
And this is gonna be yeah, you just you throw the fucking mask up blow into them
Just like a bunch of his chest explodes out
Oh, what the fuck man?
And then you just that's a nat 20
And I'm gonna regain a fucking grit point. Oh
That feels good. Okay, we give him dice
And that's gonna be
10 17
7 is 24 plus 6 is 30 damage on the next
Seven is 24 plus six is 30 damage on the next Tee!
I'm the next attack.
So boom, 10 thick, Lewin, plan.
And that's gonna be my surprise round.
Moon Shine, you get a surprise round as well.
Okay, he's still standing?
Yeah, yeah.
All right.
Well done.
Hey, man.
That was a 21 hit.
It does.
Okay, well it's not going to be like.
So Moon Shine on the second kicks in the door from the other side.
I'm picturing a piano player in the corner just being like,
oh no! Yeah, I bust in. I've been pocketing herbs from his balcony herb garden
What do you say here that I bust in?
Hand him for 15 and then spores and for six
White
Fucking hurt already. That's how we do it down my grip. I'll say we're not even gonna
You're born in a stump, I think so.
Rather than rolling all of these NPCs,
I'm gonna say Bortrim and Balnor
get a surprise round on the spawn downstairs.
So you hear them engaging downstairs.
You hear on Bortrim yelling about the light
and the dusk mother.
As he burying discreetly attacks
these vampire spawn because he doesn't know how to do stealth.
Everybody roll initiative now.
Everybody's in this room.
You guys roll out of the bags.
Oh, hell yeah, not 20.
Hey, go.
21.
I have a 21 as well.
18.
So that is 24 for me.
Bo also did good, but not as good as JV.
Are you ready?
JV.
All right. Ah. How was your trip in the bag? Not as good as JV, JV.
Right. How would you trip in the bag?
I like to, am I still in the bag?
You, I want to roll out at the beginning of the turn.
Quick, slap me in the face.
Okay, yes, I slap him.
Oh, it's making me angry.
Oh, now I'm in a rage.
All right, so, I'm quite mad.
Wow, the barbarian always has to say that he's in a rage.
You're still, you're still smiling.
I'm displeased in general.
You're grinning from ear to ear.
Yeah, honestly.
The fuck is that?
The wrinkle pattern on your face suggests a lifetime of smiles.
Yes, I was always having a nice time.
And then I roll out of the bag, swinging my ax.
X.
Swing my X.
I'm reckless attacking, so that's a 26.
Sweet super hits and super hurts.
21 damage to the first one.
Geez, he's looking very hurt, but still standing on quite mad so we'll swing again
22 hits jv jv fucking rolls out of the bag
13
13 damage, okay good rolls is quite hurt. You made our friend lift
Quite hurt. You made our friend Mift.
Fucking weirdos in the bag talking weird weird ass shit. Normally he's chuffed, but now he's Mift.
I'm getting the fuck outta here.
The shit is weird.
You see Bo, he got an initiative 23.
He is going to turn into a bat.
And start flying the fuck outta there.
Yeah, right.
Let me see how far he can get.
Is it Bates?
Okay, Jesus, he only flies 30 feet away.
He's trying to just fucking fly out there.
He's here to get as a fucking bat.
Target practice, dead eye.
That is unbelievable.
That is dead eye start. dead, I start off.
Okay, we're gonna do bonus action.
I can't think of a worse person for this to be next.
Yeah, we're gonna do a bonus action.
Yeah, this is gonna be bonus action
hide to attack from stealth.
Stealth, that's a 19.
That's gonna be a 28 stealth check.
Cool.
And I am going to spend a grit point
to make this a violent shot.
That's gonna be a 27 to hit.
Super hits.
Yikes.
It's 30 damage on the first attack.
Dead high. finished this bad.
There we go.
Wait, I was born it.
Yeah, I see eyes born it.
Find his head on it.
Uh, I look over at you and say,
oh, you want me to do a little dinner special?
Yeah, do the dinner special.
Let's get some wings.
Woohoo.
And flaming bullet streaks out of my gun.
That's cool as hell, this is spout fucking rules, moonshine.
And I'm going to, because I'm sure he's like flew off the balcony, so I'm going to rip my
gun hand off and throw it out the window to catch the dead, and bat body and nut air,
and skitter back and bite the fucking head off.
Bite the head off and briefly, briefly turns the ash turns to foe.
He goes like, what the fuck man?
Then he completely turns the ash and his con.
Our turn is to mistrace him.
I would like to go to Sandy.
Okay, yeah, you see she's like barely breathing.
She's on the bed.
Who's the other guy in there?
Is he a vampire or was he a...
Oh, he's just a kid.
Who's...
Yeah, you go over to him.
He's super dead.
I'll just do a second level.
Okay, he's dead.
Oh no.
Second level cure wounds on Sandy.
Okay, can I revivify him?
Potentially.
I mean, I don't want to die.
Well, I guess, okay, Bev, go ahead and give me an insight check
as you like, run up on them.
That's only going to be a 12.
You can kind of tell that he's been dead longer than a minute.
Okay.
So I go up to Sandy and I say, Sandy,
you've been worshipping false gods.
I'm here to show you the lukewarm lot of Malora herself
Tell her about the dust mother
No, maybe later. This one decision. I like it. Yes, yes
We're talking about the dust mother. No, no, no the mudmother is coming through. Yeah, that's true forget dust
We got mud and then I am and give her a muddy embrace for 17 hit points.
You heal Sandy, and you see she sits back up.
She looks mighty confused, and you see she has
this kind of glazed look in her eyes.
And she goes, she is fucking.
Oh, who are you?
Is she a shell or a stone? It would appear, she is fucking high. Who are you? Is she a shell or a stone?
It would appear that she is a shell.
Oh, just enough of dumbass.
What a greater restoration helper.
I don't have one.
Probably not a greater restoration, but like an awakened or something.
I don't have any fifth level spells.
Okay.
Sandy gum with us. You're gonna have an okay life.
All right. Yeah, I could do that. You're gonna learn how to make soup in the weirdest way possible.
I'll be happy. I'll act soup. Uh huh.
Should we just take her to the end? No.
Well, if there's a wake in, I can awaken her. I just need to sleep.
So I can just talk my spells if you do want to do
You don't have to do it right now like she's not gonna die tomorrow
All right, let's put her in the hard pod basement
Wait no hardwarn all eat her
He's vampire okay, we'll make another basement
We can just drop her off in that house everyone just think she's a shell
I think she'll probably just go home if she's a shell. There's plenty of shells here in town
I don't think it might be a smart idea to bring her to where we're going.
Okay, all right, Shell.
Go home, do your thing.
I'll deal with you later.
All right, I think I remember where home is.
You see, she stands up and walks out of the room.
I tried to help her.
Yeah, I don't think anyone deserves that fate,
but she was being a real, a real meanie to us.
Yeah, no, she didn't make help in her fun.
But hopefully we can come back around to her,
but we got bigger fish to fry for them.
Let's bounce.
Let's go to our little shell house.
Sweet, grab some vampire teeth for us all to wear,
like cool vampire hunters.
Sweet ass.
Great.
So I'm guessing you guys, like, kind of.
We look great with things.
Oh, thanks.
Thanks. How do we get many compliments back in Bahumiya? Great. So I'm guessing you guys like kind of great with things. Oh, thanks
But we get many compliments back in Bahumia
Girlfriend back in Bahumia. Oh, no, no What's your life like back in Bahumia? It was sad. It was depressing. What's sad? Well Jeff has really done wonders for you
Yes, where did you live? What was the house that you lived in like not really a house as much of a
It was more of a stone a stone the house that you lived in like? Not really. A house is much of a stone.
A stone, if you will.
You lived in a stone.
In a stone, just around a bunch of stones.
Oh, what about my brain?
What did you do when it rained?
Yeah, I didn't met her.
I was always in a rage.
My friends and family kept me in a rage my entire life.
Dear God.
Yes, I was always angry.
So your life was you asleep on a series of stones in-raged at all times.
Yes, when I was awake, I was killing, robbing, pillaging, and when I was asleep, I was tossing
and turning in a fever dream that I wanted to die from.
But he is nice.
It feels nice.
It's quite nice.
It's not trying to know that someone can have a life as a Revenant and not totally be miserable.
Yeah. I kind of look at dead. And quite please. All right, nice. It's quite nice to know that someone can have a life as a Revenant and not totally be miserable. Yeah.
I kind of look at that.
I'm quite pleased.
Alright, Liam.
Why don't you take it?
I'm sorry.
I don't know that I'm a Re, I don't fully know what I am, but I know that I am not going
to get my little lockstep along with all the paper with Shoddy.
Oh, we're off to church.
Ding ding.
That's not me.
Why?
It's work is so well for JB.
What are the best things in my life?
Be killed by a cricket.
Oh, you're gonna make me cry again, JB.
True, those people spread joy wherever they go.
So I'm gonna say you guys probably hop out the back
because you know that Bortram and Balnor
took care of those guys out there.
Anybody downstairs who's coming up,
you guys have already scooted out of there.
So you guys head over to Hard One House. You hear him pounding on the wall downstairs,
just like having a temper tantrum.
Well, you're still making the rear noises, but he's a vampire.
Hey, buddy. I think I pour a little, I Hey, buddy. Hey, buddy. Hey, buddy.
Hey, buddy.
Hey, buddy.
Hey, buddy.
Hey, buddy.
Hey, buddy.
Hey, buddy.
Hey, buddy.
Hey, buddy.
Hey, buddy.
Hey, buddy.
Hey, buddy.
Hey, buddy.
Hey, buddy.
Hey, buddy.
Hey, buddy.
Hey, buddy.
Hey, buddy.
Hey, buddy.
Hey, buddy. Hey, buddy.
Hey, buddy.
Hey, buddy.
Hey, buddy. Hey, buddy. Hey, out of that for him. I just something.
Yeah, we can grab a bird form. Okay. I love birds.
Yeah, I'll go outside and try and thorn with us a bird. Okay, sure. You're a druid. I'll say just do a nature check to like lure a bird to you.
Can I specifically lure a bird who is not contributing to this world?
Yeah, you can look for a real shithead bird. Yeah, Yeah, go ahead and just give me a nature check to find a shit head bird.
Bird that cheats on its taxes.
Shout out to two crew at six.
You find a really diligent bird.
Oh no.
It's like picking up a worm to bring to,
you just know it has a family.
Just by the way, that is acting.
And instead I pivot and I thorn with a worm
and give it to the bird and then come back in and say I don't know
Skies are clear can find anything
What he wants to do
So furious that he can't be with his girlfriend scarly. He's so hungry. Someday. There's no birds. He's just have a raging frat boy in the basement
Always punch so many holes in the drywall
My knuckles man
Oh, he's punched so many holes in the drywall. Oh!
Looking broke my knuckles, man.
Is there anything we can do for him?
Bortram, dead eye, what do you think?
No, I think not until we get rid of Scarlet Permit.
All right.
Then at least till just be a regular old vampire
which, uh, a puzzle maybe or something?
I'm gonna put it out there.
I can give him some reading.
I do have a bobble on me for the desk mother.
I think it might be time to talk a little strategy
because about the puzzle.
So what I was gonna say is maybe we'll talk about the strategy
and if you wanna get a puzzle,
you can sort of go give it to him.
Okay, would you like like a babbling brook
or like a glater on this?
I'm so good.
I'm just like fucking girlfriend.
Just a little worried about the ticking time, you know.
So puppies, all right, I slide a puppy puzzle under the.
All right, so here's a deal.
We've taken out three of the Monk Umries.
There's four of the kids left.
But they're still in their coffin,
so we still got to steal the deal.
Still got to steal the deal, but I don't know if
y'all need a rest or I'll be lovely
I think that unless we unless we had an easy target now
I don't I don't know what the Montgomery compound is gonna be like tonight
I
Can tell you in the past when we've tried to do raids and stuff back when we could still come back
from being dealt, quote unquote, killing blows from them. They didn't keep that much help around
the house. Daddy doesn't love non-pure blood vampires. They're quite confident in their own abilities.
The old man might be getting a little paranoid. Considering that three of his kids got missed it tonight, it might be different,
but I think our number one problem with the Montgomery compound is the
Montgomery's themselves. First on my list, once I come out my trance is I'd like to seal the deal on Scarlett so we don't got to worry about
basement boy. Cell or feller if you will. Well we have not been so so we've
gone around back behind the Grimhawk Manor before and there is a graveyard
there but we've only run into Whites. We haven't come across any kind of crypts.
So my guess is that it's under the Manor itself, that we would need to actually go inside
to get there.
So I think if you are trying to get to Scarlet, you're going into the, you know, the tomb
of the whole family practically.
I reckon we're going to have to tango with a bunch of very powerful vampires there and these skaters are going to mean business and we come knocking on their front door.
I think that two sides of this coin we're about to flip are we knock every one of these skaters
into oblivion and then we can take our sweet time moseying around and destroy in their coffins
and unmaking them or the flip side would be, we all say goodbye there
in the manner together.
Well, I don't like that.
I prefer option one myself.
I vote option one.
Yes, Lamb me too.
But y'all, I mean, Bev, tell me that your priority
isn't making sure that we kill Scarlett,
because I know that we'd be putting ourselves
in a bunch of danger, but at least we could free hard one. I think that's obviously our end goal. How we get there,
I think we should take a measured approach to try and maximize success. Okay. If things start looking
dire, then I might just make a beeline for her crypt. Let's make a pact. You know, we spilled a lot
of blood, but let's spill some for a purpose. I'll pick my finger again
All right, I'm mashed my blood against his. Yeah, I don't know what any of this means, but it's got the same
I look like blood magic and I do not approve it all right, you know what I like to you before but
I was pretty pretty good
Take a knee everybody take a knee here. No blood
You know what? You know what?
Take a knee.
Everybody take a knee.
All right.
No blood may be.
I take a knee.
He's gonna get the thank you.
All right.
I'm gonna fucking weigh on taking a goddamn knee.
She's taking knee dead.
All right.
It's bad teamwork.
It's not about the team, not about the, you know, the God.
All right.
Shit for cockass.
All right.
That's your right.
All right.
Well, I only need four hours of trans.
So if we want to, if anyone else, if, you know,
like dead eyes fell a crack,
if we want to do any kind of recon.
I slapped the eye out of my head and put my hand off.
You can always send this little fella out there
to do some recon if we need to.
Oh, I do have beast bond.
That's not a beast though.
Nevermind.
It's kind of a beast.
Sometimes it does stuff on its own
that I don't really reckon.
Really?
Yeah, it's still, it acts like me,
but I can't always anticipate what my hand
and eyeball are gonna do when I take them out.
Does it ever like play a piano by itself?
It sure does.
It plays real funky ragtime stuff, not to my taste,
but that's what the hand likes.
I would like to see that.
Yeah, I kind of of please. Yeah I think
we got like 10 minutes. There is a piano there. Alright I want to worry y'all that pianos in the
shadow fell can only play minor key. So that's just something to be heard from me. I love to dance.
I would not have paged you as a dancer. I know I So, yeah. So you were in a rage all the time.
Yes.
Sleeping on stones.
Yes.
And dancing.
Well, I found dancing down here in Shadowfield.
Ha, ha, ha.
It's really turned his life around the past month.
I'm so� to catch him that I didn't know I had.
Yeah.
Your life is so hot.
Yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna have to get you
to tickle them Ivers because I would love to see JV move.
Mm-hmm.
All right, a little out there, a little look-ramp or a piano around here.
Yeah, there's a dusty old piano in here.
I'll take out new Betsy.
Oh, I'll fall on my flute.
Pop the hand off, pop the eyeV. Like a floating little foot dance.
It's just the Adam's family song, right?
Yeah, and you hear, um,
dun dun dun.
Yeah.
JV's clicking along.
You hear a hard one freaking the fuck out downstairs.
Shut up.
I'm begging around.
I'm like fucking anter, it's bringing me to my wife!
I'm begging around.
Maybe we'll be giving some red gatorade. That worked for Ulfgar.
All right, is it bedtime? I think I need to get some holy energy back.
Unless you head on man-to-head.
Is anyone really hurting because I can give you a cure wounds before we sleep, but presumably everyone old.
JV's river dancing. Wow. JV seems to be because I can give you a cure wounds before we sleep, but presumably every one of them. J.V.'s river dancing.
Wow.
J.V. seems to be good spirits.
I'm not gonna worry about him.
If everyone's good, then I think I'm just gonna
drop my top and trance.
I'm going to set up my eyeball in my hand,
like on a windowsill hiding hiding behind like a lace curtain,
just kind of watching the street outside.
Okay.
And Dead Eye is going to pull up a chair, eyeless and handless, but just pull it up right in
front of the door with the musket pointed at the door and just sit in it facing the doorway.
Hell yeah.
Don't do that.
Boundar, do you want to do that in the back door?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think I'll be just as effective.
I'm your father. Also, I need to sleep. Well, Boundar, you're amazing do that in the back door? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think I'll be just as effective. Oh, you're awesome.
So I need to sleep.
Well, downward, you're amazing at sleeping in a chair.
Oh, that, you're absolutely right.
I think what I lack in gun skills I make up for
and sleeping in a chair.
This is your moment to shine.
I guess anyone who needs to do a normal sleep
like a regular person, let's find a bed, huh?
That's me.
All right.
J.V., you're not going to like strangle me
in your sleep, are you?
No, no.
Okay.
You know, I'll train in the room with them
just so bad feel safe.
Thank you.
Thank you.
All right, cool.
I guess I find like a normal size bed.
Does it smell like a revenant's been sleeping in here?
It smells dusty.
It smells super dusty.
All right.
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Okay, that's it for me. Go team pants and enjoy the show.
You find that there is a shell just snoring in there just sleeping through the whole time. Oh, hey
One big bad
Everyone cuddle up with the shell
My name's Bart. Hi Bart. We're sleeping with you tonight. Oh, great. This is a dream. Don't worry about it
Yeah, one big beep one big bid
One big bid. One big bid.
One big bid.
One big bid.
Oh, she goes, I'll go to one big bed.
Dead eye, you have your eye out watching the street.
You see the sun comes up.
This very dark red, nearly dead star in the distance
behind these black clouds, making it look like this,
the landscape is all red.
And I'm gonna go ahead and let me do some encounter checks to kind of see who walks by and what happens.
No, this is so scary. This is what it's like.
It's like zombie apocalypse. This is like, I'm like, so dead eye, you're there, trancing, but sitting at the door, holding your gun.
You see Langston and a crew of like six vampire spawn
and like 15 whites walking like
into the deeper into downtown.
But past your guys house.
Cool.
I'm also just gonna say, just for encounter check purposes. I actually am un-injured
and don't need to sleep and regain everything on a short rest. So I think after an hour of just kind
of like breathing, I'm not even breathing. Creaking? Yeah, after an hour of creaking in the rocking
chair, he just goes still and that's how you know my rest is done. It's like stopped cooking. Yeah, the worm stopped eating you for a second.
The maggots skitter away.
Get out of here, you maggot.
King, did I?
Did I?
I'm gonna say, Bev's definitely still asleep.
I don't know if Revenants technically need to sleep, but I'm gonna say to get their
stuff back dead, they're gonna need to rest.
In my world, they do need to rest.
So they're resting.
Munchine, go ahead and give me a luck check
to see if you've gotten your four hours yet
before something happens.
10.
10, okay, I was gonna say 10 or higher.
So this happens at around four hours.
So Munchine, you kick out of your trance
and you go up and join Dead Eye at the door.
Dead Eye, go ahead and give me a perception check.
Pressing down on a French press,
putting some a quick water in each of the mugs.
Make it quicky.
Yeah.
Oh, you make it with crickery.
Yeah.
That's gonna be a 15 from me.
15, okay.
You see some smoke coming up
from like the direction of the church.
Is Bortram still resting?
Bortram still resting,
because he's got, he's a human,
he's like a human variance,
so I'm having them rest at night.
Okay.
You want cream?
What's that?
Cream?
Oh yeah, get it extra creamy.
Yeah, okay, cool.
Bortram's still resting, right? There's smoke over the church. Yeah, Bortram's
resting, but I'll go wake him. I don't know that I'd bother Moonshine. I don't know
what else there is to do. I'm Laura. Moonshine, you really gonna be able to help that girl? That Sandy girl. Yeah.
If I got a day off, I can give her a spell and I don't know maybe she can do some good
around here. I saw her in the room before she was a shell. I didn't say nothing.
I didn't say nothing.
Well, I don't know that I would have changed my actions, but I appreciate your candor now.
So what does it you do? All the other cricks are in Glade Home and you're out here with...
Kid and the vampire downstairs and you're just wandering around doing what?
Yeah, that's kind of a good question.
Hahaha.
Truthfully, I mean, I left the creek.
I don't know, I guess you probably felt it too.
I'm, well now I actually have answers as to why,
but you know, I always felt a little more,
the creek is so innocent and wholesome,
and I wanna do everything to protect it,
but when I'm there, it doesn't feel like me.
You know, so I think I justify it by just going out all over this world in the name of the Cric, rather than going home and living with Cric.
So if I live with the Cric, I have to admit that that ain't my life for me.
But if I'm going out and trying to defend their honor and their name, I can still feel connected to them and I don't have to admit that maybe they're not my...
TRUE SPATE.
Does that make sense?
More sense than you can understand.
Okay.
I don't know the cricks that innocent move, Shun.
Really?
The folk there are so sweet.
Yeah, they're sweet, alright, but...
I was about 50 years old.
I kept asking Cobb to show me how to fight.
All I ever wanted since I was a young and in that time,
my bag was to learn how to sling a gun.
And what said, I wasn't ready.
I wasn't ready to learn everything he knew.
When Maribel came along and all the trouble started, I told Cobb,
Crick needs me. I'd do anything to save the Crick.
He looked at me and said,
he ain't ready, you don't got the heart for it.
I went on into the woods and asked Melora for help.
Just wanted to be strong enough to protect our own.
She didn't answer.
She wasn't listening.
But the shadow fell.
Shadow fell.
Herd me just fine.
Yeah.
I certainly understand that. Yeah.
I certainly understand that.
Laura's whole indifference thing, it's pretty fucking annoying.
Hell yeah, this is true, it is.
In any case, I understand, feel like you can't go home.
Yeah. I got, I got Luann, I got my skills, I understand. Feel like you can't go home. Yeah.
I got, I got Luann, I got my skills,
I got all the power you'd ever want to ask for a gunslayer
and when I showed up to fight,
Cobb and me, Ma looked at me and they said,
I'd done wrong.
They said I gave up something that wasn't mine to give up.
And all I was trying to do was help.
I still just can't believe Cobb wouldn't have taught you a little bit.
Well, according to him, me giving up my soul for the power to defend that place was all
the proof he needed that I shouldn't have had that power to begin with. Well, I'm really sorry that the correct turn is back on you and that's what led you
here.
Yeah.
If I've been there, I would've been your sparring partner.
Oh, my God.
He looks so painful whenever he's done. I'd been there, I would. You're a living thing.
Ugh.
And even if you're a dead thing, you know, I'm
Exambi's all the time.
I'm afraid of death. There's something beautiful
natural about it.
No, you really know how to fill a
fellas heart with oak. And I ain't felt that in a long time.
Bring it in. Bring it in.
Bring it in.
Let's half add a one cup together.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
Alright.
Alright, let's wait up Bortram.
Alright, so we go wake up Bortram.
Okay, you wake up Bortram.
He shoots up.
Hey, what's going on?
I think someone's going on at the church, so I think you should go find out what's going on.
What, okay, okay, yeah.
You see he gets up.
He runs right out the door.
You see he casts fine steed
and this like black stallion magically shows up
and he starts fucking hoofing it downtown
I'm gonna ask Bortrams getting ready to it's about to peel off. I say Bortram
Is there any point to defend in the church? None of your remnants is there right now, right?
He looks at you and he goes
That's where their ashes go back. That's where they regenerate
That's where their ashes go back. That's where they regenerate.
Then they know you're gonna be there to defend it.
That's why they usually don't mess with it. I've made a mistake by not being there tonight and you see he takes off.
We gotta wake up, Beverly and JV.
Bed.
Huh? Bed.
Yeah. I need more sleep, how you feeling?
I can go.
Is it time?
Do you wanna go? There's a fire
down at the church. I'm already putting on my pants. Okay. JB, do me more time. I'm going to the church.
All right. All right. I'm sorry. I hesitated awake you guys. I wanted to give you sleep out
and know what else to do. How much sleep do we get? It's about five hours. So I'll say you guys won't
need like another long rest. You'll basically, if you take a short rest after this you'll get a long rest essentially
So we'll be able to get our slots back. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. See you guys
We don't have our slots yet. You guys don't have your slots yet. I will say is anybody
Getting a steed or anything because Bortram got on a horse and ran along
No, nope
Okay, we wish if we're gonna get there long after he's already there. We should approach stealthily and ran along. No. No. Okay.
If we're gonna get there long after he's already there,
we should approach stealthily.
Good call.
Okay, I don't think we should use password trace yet.
JV, what are you doing?
It's sprinting.
Okay.
Yeah.
So JV's not going stealthy.
You guys are all going stealthy behind him.
That's a good idea.
Yeah.
So JV, you get there first
You see that and you kind of know this that
Bortram usually even though it's not the you know wisest strategy Bortram usually
Sleeps at the church so that these minor fuckhead guys don't mess with it
And the Montgomery's usually don't do their own dirty work
So there's not really anybody strong enough to come fight you guys directly. But nobody was there tonight and they took advantage of
it. You see the outside of it is in flames. The whole building is going up and you see in the distance
as you start like rounding a corner you see a bortram as like kicked in the door and is like running
inside. Okay let's run in and get those ashes. Sweet. Yeah. I'm gonna say everybody go ahead and give me
investigate checks as you guys rush around the fire trying to map 20.
That's fucking at 20. There's no vampires here. You do not see the vampires here anymore.
Based on sort of the timeline of what Dead Eye saw,
Dead Eye saw those guys marching,
like an hour or so later saw smoke coming up,
they like towards the place and fucking pieced.
So yeah, this whole big fire,
Dead Eye, you just like pure luck
and just like fucking Elvin eyesight and maybe by the grace of the dusk mother
You find I have a magic eye specifically for purposes such as these
Teamwork you see a knocked over
Earn there was like a beam that fell and scattered a bunch of stuff,
and there's fire everywhere, and it's chaos,
but you do see an Earn that has fallen on the ground,
and only a few of the ashes have gone out of it.
So salvageable, salvageable it seems.
Dad, I was gonna point it out in one for it.
Sweet, Dad, I runs over and grabs it.
What did you get in your investigate check?
I got a four.
You got a four, okay.
Cool, okay.
Bortram also did very bad on his investigate check. So looking up it's fire. It just keeps getting worse and worse and worse
And you guys have only found one earn. What are you guys doing? I just run in because I have resistance fire
You have resistance. So you take half damage a matter I run in. Okay, but everybody everybody's inside right now
You see that it's burning up, burning up.
I'm gonna say DC 15 investigate check to find.
So you found one earn to find another one.
It's DC 15 investigate.
Everyone rules with disadvantage
because it's a
Bortram fails, you scramble around,
trying to find it, Balnor fails.
Also failed.
Fail. Shout out to the two crew. That or Fails. Also failed. Fails.
Shout out to the two crew, that's a not one as well.
Fucking yikes.
Yeah, beams start falling down the fires everywhere.
What?
Can I cast Ice Storm to try and stop the fire?
You sure as hell can.
Yeah, we'll do that then.
Go ahead.
I cast Ice Storm.
Sweet.
Mochai, what level spell is that?
Fourth level.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Mochai, you fucking put this fire out in seconds.
You see you call upon the powers that be,
whether you're angry at Melora
and you want it to be somebody else.
I just fucking call myself.
I'm so sick everyone else.
Hell yeah.
You call on yourself.
You see the black clouds part above you
and ice begins to rain down,
which melts, turns into water.
And you see the fire quickly goes out.
You see that the church is destroyed
and Bortram looks devastated, looks around,
is able to find another one of the urns.
And I'll do a pure luck check to see if you guys can find the third one.
I'll just say tenor higher, the third one's there.
A roll in front of the table.
Yeah, or somebody else rolled for me.
Tenor higher.
Tenor higher.
Seven.
Okay, so let's roll and see who's earned and did not get found. I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to do that.
I don't know how to do that.
I don't know how to do that.
I don't know how to do that.
I don't know how to do that.
I don't know how to do that.
I don't know how to do that.
I don't know how to do that.
I don't know how to do that.
I don't know how to do that.
I don't know how to do that.
I don't know how to do that.
I don't know how to do that.
I don't know how to do that.
I don't know how to do that.
I don't know how to do that.
I don't know how to do that.
I don't know how to do that.
I don't know how to do that.
I don't know how to do that.
I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to do that. I don a 15 Rosa. Rosa got a five. So Rosa's earn is lost.
No, that is tragic.
And yeah, you see the
church is all like destroyed and charred and
Bortrom is just devastated.
Bortrom, I'm so sorry.
You know, it ain't your fault, you know we
There ain't no coming there ain't no coming back anymore anyway
We got a we got to beat the monk ummeries here and now this is why we're here. We're here to
Defend shadow fell the
Duskmother is merciful. I'm sure she knows she knows that Rosa was trying to make good was trying to do good
I'm sure she'll rest in peace.
I know she will.
I know she will.
I pray she will.
And you see, Bortram falls to his knees
and starts praying to this half kind of cockeyed statue
standing in the broken church.
I'll take a knee next to him.
She was a good kid.
She was a good kid.
Creepy as hell, but yeah. Bortram, I just want you to know that whatever happens
We're all proud of you. I appreciate you y'all brought hope to this place
I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but we'll get them we'll get them back for this and we'll build a
Build a church twice as big. Yeah
Build a church twice as big. Yeah
And did I'll help us build it. Yes, and you will build it out of something that won't burn down
Yeah, I'm sure did I'll show up to the pot luck, but maybe not be there for the building That will be at the pot look
I can't believe I'm about to say this board from
If by some horrible stroke of fate. I am not gone from this
Extremely bad town in the next 24 hours.
I will help you rebuild your church. That means a lot. You're a better man than I took you for.
Well, it's a backhanded compliment, but I'll take you. Well, you work hard. Come on. I want you to
know this. I'm going to do it because you're a good man and it matters to you, not because of your dust mother. I appreciate it because as is the dust mother's teachings, you got
to let people grow and become good people, become the real sales. And I think the first
step to that is to admit, you know, what's wrong with the situation. And I think we're
rebuilding. I think that's what's happening here.
Well, praise me to the desk, my favorite.
Yes.
OK, so we all feel how we feel.
Amen to that.
I mean, I hope for your sake that you get out now even more so.
I know it's been a while since I've said it,
but let me just reiterate what's constantly running
on the loop in the back of my head.
This town is bad.
I've got to get out of here.
Bortren, would you leave this town or do you feel
a duty here?
Truth be told, the way the Revenants work with the Duskmother
is that we're given sentences essentially.
So as opposed to a normal Revenant who would have you know, have a task that they need to complete
to them be a piece, they have a sentence that they serve.
So you might need to spend 10 years in shadow felt defending humanity.
And then you get to make peace with your original deity or maybe you just be a piece.
I served my sentence a long time ago.
I just believe in the cause.
You're a good man.
Yeah, that's, that's integrity.
I don't think anyone can take that from you.
I think y'all are, y'all are good eggs.
Y'all are real good eggs.
Everybody bring it in, everybody take a knee.
All right, can we all say?
Are we gonna hug and take a knee at the same time?
We're gonna have a hug.
We're gonna have a visual for sure.
Yeah, can we all like take a knee, but then like,
maybe give each other like a good hustle, butt pat like in a circle?
Yeah, perfect.
That would do a lot for me.
Sweet ass.
Yeah.
Ha, ha, ha.
Now unfortunately, the urns do need to be here.
This is sacred ground for us.
So it's not like I could have brought them along with me.
So for the time being,
I guess I'm going to bury the other two for when they come back. They don't need to breathe. So
they might freak out a little bit, but uh, do your thing. What would it be? Help to you if I tried
to hide them somewhere? Yeah, maybe we just hide them. That way, if they pop out and we're all in
trouble or capture whatever, maybe they can hook it on up. Yeah, I'm not going to get a great even note in the earn. Okay
Babe you won't help me find a little hide-and-place around here somewhere absolutely. Yeah, I
Start I sort I start divining a good spot
I have a slight of hand or I have stealth whatever whatever you'd like to use and I use if you want to use a help action
Hmm
I mean I have deception. Oh
I got a 17 in deception I
Got a 30 slight of issues. Okay. Yeah between between the two of you. I'll say like Bortram
Bortram kind of explains how the
I'll say like Bortram. Bortram kind of explains how the
Revenants work here, which is that they're a little bit
like the vampires in that they kind of return
to their resting place, they turn to ash,
and then they come back into their urn,
and then they reform out of it.
So you guys kind of use that logic,
you guys like bury the urns up so that like just the
very top is showing, so that when they reform the ashes
will come out and they should be okay.
I think while we're doing this I'm explaining to Dead Eye that this is the proper green teen latrine maneuver.
Oh that sounds pretty interesting.
Yeah it goes down in there, it returns to the earth.
So you've had a whole survivalist education, that's great.
Absolutely, yeah, it hasn't been too much use of late but we're always surviving in one way or another.
You know the trick could use this kind of structure because a lot of the survival skills that are learned are learned kind of
ad hoc in the time out bag. I left a lot of pamphlets there
With some information on an organization. I like to call the Cricketeers. So I think well good hands
I mean a pamphlet's good for a possum, but I don't know for a Crick
Oh, don't worry. I used pictograms.
Oh, good, yeah, that's gonna be the thing to do.
Yes, sir.
All right.
So, should we sleep here?
I think let's find another hidden spot
because they know what this place is.
Yeah, that sounds good.
All right, all right.
Yeah, you guys just find another house, nearby.
Just kicking another like broken door. I think we're all bound or in the chair on this one. Yeah, you guys just find another house nearby, just kicking another broken door.
I think we're all ballin' or in the chair on this one.
Yeah, everybody.
I don't need it, so I'm full on watch.
Got it.
Cause I'm arrested.
So if you're full on watch, I'm gonna keep my eye in hand
and be just rifle in a chair by the door.
Right.
It comes in sweet.
Let me go ahead and roll one encounter check.
It's not going to be very
long and they already fucks. Although I suppose I could trans. I could do my zealots trans.
You could just to get your one spell back. You can do that. Nice. You guys are able to get the rest
of your sleep. And you guys get all your stuff back. And you guys see the the blood
star this red sun is already kind of starting to set and it's only been up for a
few hours. But that's how you know it's like a lot of time. It's like 2pm. 2pm and so
we've got the devil. So you guys got like eight. These guys had to rest for like eight hours
so you went to bed at like six or eight. It's like one. All right so we have you know a little over
12, 13 hours and like that. Yeah so I mean let's just kick off this raid huh. Let's do it. Let's go
hunting. JV you need breakfast or anything? Oh, yes. I love some.
OK, I'll route around in the fridge, see what's left.
Cool.
I'm going to roll and see if just like a shell lives here.
One does.
So there are actual.
There are actual eggshells in there.
There are a lot of eggshells.
Just eggshells.
Just eggshells.
Yeah, they're blender.
There is not a blender.
No. There are a lot of There is not a blender, no.
There are a lot of egg shells,
way too many egg shells, like ship.
So just egg shells.
Pretty much just egg shells.
Where else is there like any condiments?
You see a, it almost looks like they tried
to save some soup in a plate.
I take the egg shell and I scoop up some soup
and I give him soup in a shell.
It's not that bad. Yeah. give him a soup at a shell. It's not that bad.
Yeah.
Anyone else needs soup in a shell?
Yeah, I'll give it a go.
Okay, I'll give it a go.
You said it, a shell lives in the house.
Yeah, when we come in, I'm just gonna go,
hey there friend, we also live here with you.
Yeah, yeah, then I heard it.
Hey, why do you have so many?
I understand that, that makes sense.
Why do you have so many shells?
I like eggs
Why do you you know what that's great good for you?
Everyone's ready. I say let's do it. What's going to do? Let's head it out We're heading off the rims and hails gang sweets, and how are you guys?
Approaching there all right now is probably probably the time to use pass without trace right so here's here's a thing that
Dead I would know and Bortram would know these vampires and kind of the way that they act not to say that there's not
A lot of security and stuff, but this is less like trying to break into a castle and more like
less like trying to break into a castle and more like trying to like get to the Kardashians,
but the Kardashians are all super powerful.
Does that make sense?
It's not like there's no like fucking like huge crossbows out
in like 90 million guards.
It's like, yeah.
These obviously don't watch the show.
Right.
Right.
Yeah, people are breaking in all the time.
Yeah.
Look, I mean, so when we get up there, I mean, the mountain gumries are in charge
of everything, but they're also monsters, so they don't think like squishy, soft human
nobility would where they need to have a lot of higher guards.
They're infinitely more powerful than the things that work for them more than the spawn
and certainly more than humans.
So they've been walking around for eons thinking that they're untouchable. So, and they're partially right.
So I think that we, if we're stealthy and we sneak through the hills, we go around
the city, we'll be able to just let ourselves in through the back door, but then we're
going to be fighting a handful of the most powerful monsters in the shadow field.
I see.
It's kind of baller to be so strong that you don't need any
sort of security. Yeah, it's an interesting way to look at sort of top down hierarchy because,
again, normally, you know, in a society sort of ownership and class is the means by which people
assert dominance. But here there actually is a tangible supernatural advantage that is held by
those in charge. Are you sure you've never read a pamphlet? Hmm?
Oh no, I was in Norgie once and this guy who was railing me,
he was just going on and on about sort of how this works.
Okay, yeah.
I had a really keen eye for sociology.
And you know, you learn a lot, meeting people,
being an adventurer is a life that any person
should be grateful for.
Good lesson.
Yeah, absolutely.
Let's go ball on the ballers.
Let's ball on the ballers.
Sweet. So, how are you guys proceeding stealth-wise? So gather up,
we're doing some pass without trace. I think I have, well, you've got good stealth too though,
Data. I mean, I think we just were in the lead. So you guys are able to kind of sneak and weave
between the different buildings and stuff, hide and alleys.
The two crick-elves are kind of leading the way.
And you guys reach the end of uptown,
and you begin walking up the Crimson Hills.
And these roads that kind of wind up the mountains
aren't used that often, except by like, you know,
very dumb vampire spawn and whites
because the vampires themselves can either turn into mist
or they can turn into bats
and they're taking the easy way down.
So you guys are kind of able to just jump out of the way,
hide behind rocks as you see like whites and spawns
and everything just like coming down. As you guys make your way up you do see that there are all these homes
jutting out of the cliffs but they look more like tombs. You see all these
like pillars and then these like rectangular like doors that are open and just
kind of dark. Muzzle limbs. Yes so it's like the Hollywood Hills for vampires.
Just like all of these fucking tombs everywhere.
That's the freaking difference, right gang?
Uh, and you guys,
The Hollywood's on dead.
Yeah, bar.
While it's daytime out, there's really not that many people up,
but as the sun begins to set,
as it gets to late afternoon,
you finally reach Grimhawk Manor.
You see this beautiful old Gothic mansion,
three stories tall. It's built of this blackened stone. There are beautiful
stained glass windows and tall spires. You can see a glow from behind the
windows like someone is home. There is an iron gate out front with a small Raven Statue atop it
and like a small courtyard of just like green grass.
Before we proceed any further,
I wanna go ahead and cast aid on moonshine, balnor,
and I guess dead eye,
because the other two people are, you know,
revenants and potentially can come back.
But essentially, I'm gonna cast this at second level,
so they just get five extra hit points
for their maximum for the day.
Ooh, that's weird.
You see,
Thank you, young Beth.
Is that temporary hit points or five extra to our max?
To your max.
Cool.
So you see, Bortram speaks up as you guys
start to get close
and he goes, I'm not quite sure the right way to approach
this.
I can tell you that we have gone around back before
and there is a graveyard there with a lot of whites.
Now the whites aren't nearly as powerful as the Montgomery's
but there are things back there.
Let me just knock down the door
Yeah, let's go
Yes, let me share about the JB I'm quite upset
I'm quite upset, dude. Why don't we just go around the front then I'm enraged
There's no sense in in the learning anybody in from the back. Yeah, let's kick a doorbell down there throat
Or can we just like hop to one of these second floor?
Are there balconies?
Yeah.
Maybe we just hop to a balcony.
Let's do it.
Sounds great.
All right.
Let's go away.
You see, okay, so you see, you guys are basically
in front of this iron gate hiding off to the side
a little bit lower, because it's kind of at the top
of the mountain.
And you see on the second floor,
there's a balcony facing outward,
and there's the front door down on the first floor.
And you see that there is a third floor,
but you don't see a balcony.
Second floor balcony?
Second floor balcony, why not, right?
Let me know how you guys proceed.
Let's investigate.
The gate is, yeah, let's investigate the gate.
I'll take a hell of action to give you. I just wanna make sure it's not like Ruby traps. Let's investigate the gate. Yeah, let's investigate the gate.
I'll take a hell of action to give you.
I just want to make sure it's not like Ruby Trapped.
Shut up to the two crew.
I got to get it.
Okay, it's going to be 18.
Bev, you walk up to the gate to give it a look and it...
...silly creaks open I think we are expected and whether we're
playing into a trap or not it's probably too late shall we take a stroll
might just be a bad security system good to be a way to look out of a JV I like
your perspective got a look at the silver lining
next might be on the fritz it's's true. God, Shadowfail looks good on you.
Thanks.
Good fit.
All right.
Yeah, I guess we stroll in, huh?
Yeah.
All right.
Let's do it.
Just head down a squiggle, I guess.
Sweet, you guys start walking through the main courtyard towards the house.
I think I've got my rifle in hand.
I mean, I'm as in combat as a non-combat character
in terms of work.
It's like I am very resonant evil.
You guys are one of the seven.
I'm like, every single round,
I'm delaying action to the next round,
you know, like with the gun in my hand.
Do we want to do the classic Misty Step
to the balcony and drop a rope?
Yeah, that sounds good.
Cool.
Do you want a Misty Step?
Or should I burn one?
Sure, I'll do it.
Do you want me to try to go through the front door?
Is it a distraction?
I think we should probably all be on the same level maybe.
Yeah, that's wrong.
I appreciate that.
I'll let's stick together.
Okay, I'll Misty Step to the balcony and drop down a rope.
Sweet, Mochine, you Misty step up.
Go ahead and give me a stealth check.
Net 20.
You. You.
You.
Ha ha ha ha.
Mochade, you missed a step up to a balcony.
And you are able to kind of hide over to the side
so that you're not in the direct line of sight of the glass.
And you're so, so quick.
You turn and look at the window
in the split second that you appear
as you
expertly kind of hide to the side and you see this appears to be a little
girl's room and you see a doll eyes looking out the window and you notice for
split second as you like hide over to the side it was like looking for you. It like blinks. Well, I know what I'm killing first.
Yeah, I took on the rope. Shake a leg, y'all.
Over the reports, I'll be like,
if there's enough space on the balcony for us all to get up there
without the doll seeing, I vote for that.
If there's not, maybe we go in through the door.
Would the doll have been able to see us coming in through the gate?
Probably, right?
Yeah.
So we've been spotted.
So we've lost the element of surprise.
Yeah, okay.
Then we should probably take out the security system then.
All right.
So I guess maybe I attacked the doll.
Okay, it's a window.
Are you going to break the window?
I don't know.
I feel bad.
I don't want to act without people being up here. I guess
like I think I think I'm just going to cast lightning bolt on the doll. Okay, does it need
to make a deck save? Yeah, it does. Oh my god. What's the doll's decks? The doll I got
it for. Okay, so the doll is going to take 25 damage and it will catch on fire.
We're there other dolls in the room.
There were a couple other ones.
Moonshot doesn't have a great view on it right now,
but turns around, casts a lightning bolt on this doll in the window.
Glass shatters, and you see this doll is fucking electrocuted
and catches on fire and fucking starts running out
Over the balcony and fucking just like starts flopping on the ground. Oh god, that's a fire hazard
And you see it's just like flopping on the ground. It doesn't look like it's gonna take fire damage though
Oh, yeah, it's like dead. It's just like being creepy as fuck like if you guys didn't
know what was going on you guys just see and and on fire baby doll just on the ground flopping around.
I'm up the rope. Yeah, I don't know what I just did. As you guys start climbing up this balcony,
you guys have now have this shattered glass window. You do see more dolls in here,
and you hear a music box playing
like in the not so far distance,
and you hear like whispering.
There's gotta be that petunia.
Oh boy.
Okay, all right, I get it.
I got nomes here.
Well, no, they just got fucking bad taste.
These vampires. Oh, you get it.
Some music box, your emotional affiliation with that
would be that that's cute and whimsical
and filled with childhood.
Pretty free.
Wimsy, man.
Your balanor, do not.
I put my hands on his shoulders.
These vampires are conning you on an aesthetic level.
There's a doll that's on fire.
There's no, there is nothing inherently more dangerous
about a flaming doll than there is about a goblin or a
Manticore or any of the other shady back me up here man. Oh, yes, I hate no
Yeah, I think I think we're all a bit shaken by the Teehee
implies no, okay, well you gotta get ready for a lot of creepy shit
They're gonna be asking you about tea time. They're gonna talk about gonna make you beautiful
We're gonna talk about all kinds of creepy issues.
These are vampires, so we got a skaters
like to play on class distinction
and aesthetic juxtaposition.
All right, all right.
I clear the cobwebs off of Balmore.
You can't even talk those on here.
All right, let's do it.
Let's go get you.
Is the music box in this room?
It sounds like it's in a different room.
So you guys kind of poke your head into this. JVV dance to the music box. Show me in a frame. River dance down the hall.
So I'm so wide and so thick. So you barely hear me stumping because I'm that professional
over the bandage on a stealth check as you River dance. Remember you get plus 10 to that too. It's a 29. So you can't even believe it. It's actually a 34 or something.
Bortrim starts crying. So voting.
You blissed by the dust mother or still. What do we see in this room? So yeah, so you guys
enter this room and you see it's all like very pink and frilly
and there are dolls everywhere.
There are many, many, many, many, many dolls.
Can I do a perception check to see if any of,
any other ones are alive?
Yeah, go ahead and make a perception check.
25.
25.
You do see one blank in the corner
and you see one that was kind of in a pile of other dolls
like kind of turns to look at you guys.
But before you guys make any decisions
on what you're gonna do, the talking gets louder
from the other room.
You see that there is a door open
to like some kind of living room or something here, and you see
lots of candlelight like a deep glow and you hear a
Sounds like a young woman talking to like a little girl and
You hear the little girl being like I want to be ready for when they come
Oh, well, they're coming soon. They'll be here and we'll be all ready.
Oh, your little dollies are being ready.
I'm so proud of you, little sister.
I mean, how much of this creepy shit
we want to listen to.
Let's lie to these people up.
Yeah, let's do it.
Sweet.
We're on a schedule.
Do it.
Yeah.
So you guys are just sneaking into the living room?
We want to take off these dolls or is that a distraction?
I grab the bed spread from the bed and I toss the bed spread over the doll's eyes.
Okay, and then I swing Rosalene like a bat on that bed spread.
Wait, you're gonna so wait you're attacking a doll?
Okay, you'll get a surprise round on the doll.
Man, we should always use this bed spread.
Classic surprise. There's a bedspread. Classic surprise.
There's a 14-hid the doll.
It does.
A hit of 419.
19.
Okay, the doll takes a lay around.
You see Rosalene fucking slashes through this blanket explodes with fire and you see this doll
once again starts shaking and screaming and you hear the little girl go we should go say hi
All right, let's go. Let's go. I'm not gonna worry about putting up these dolls. I'm gonna rush in
Yeah, let's do it. Teetime your crazies. Yeah, you guys
Around the corner and you see this living room with wood floors, furniture is
all pushed to the side against the wall, the floor is covered in strange
hieroglyphics and words written in strange languages. There are candles placed
everywhere methodically and amongst the symbols and standing next to them surrounded
by runes are all these living dolls. You see dozens of them.
And you see a young woman appears to be in her 20s,
but in that ageless vampire way with silver hair.
She wears a conservative black dress suit.
She has a little girl in her lap dressed identically.
And as you approach, they stand up,
and you see that they are, it touched to each other.
Oh, no, thanks. That each other. Oh no thanks.
That their skin is grafted together and the older one wears the younger one like a baby
Bjorn.
Ah, quite devastating.
Wow.
That's a statement.
And the little girl claps and she goes, I'm so excited to finally have guests.
And that's where we'll end our session.
Oh, that is so creepy.
So creepy.
Oh my gosh.
Whoo.
I guess we gotta perform a Siamese operation.
I got a Siamese operation, right?
You're right.
Yeah.
Honestly, lining up in a row like that
has done me only favors.
Yeah, I know, I always gotta think of that.
The finding the dolls is so funny.
It's just like the Nat 20, just like see a good doll,
just like do a double take, just be like,
where did you go?
I'm a stupid fucking doll.
Prepare your action to kick a doll's ass.
And then pretend fucking swords a doll.
I'm the host being very, very fun guys.
Well done.
We got to talk about our battle strap,
but we got to do it on the short rest.
Yeah, guys, thank you for listening.
Guys, this fucking mini arc is turned into a real arc,
gosh dang it.
Woo!
Hopefully Brennan's OK with coming back.
Otherwise, we'll say he got killed by a doll off camera.
And Frank, we need to go handle that.
Honestly, even if I fully don't have availability to come come back I can't let dead I go out like that
I will kid whatever I have I will can't did I did I stop
I'm doing like an even worse Southern impression that I usually do
Oh, I can't do anything
The dolls are so strong I can't do anything. I'm so proud of myself. That's what you get for not believing in God. Guys, thank you so much for listening.
Head on over to patreon.com slash nad pod that's NADD, POD.
Don't see all these.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, bunch of college human people's acts. Shavon, Lou, Ally, we got a bunch of great guests
on a side quest coming out, Matt Mercer, Eric Ishii,
if you bodyway, Amy Vwerpall,
and then Mike Trapp and Raker,
Shay Carr from College Humor.
You can see my fucking face on College Humor.
I feel like doing it.
And you can check out my webcomic
strongfema protagonist.
No.
I'm the soul, I'll do it all.
Oh yes.
We are into it. Guys, check out me and Emily's sketch show. It's called Hot Date, it's on all. Hell yes. We are into it.
Guys, check out me and Emily Sketch Show.
It's called Hot Date.
It's on Netflix.
You can also check out our book.
It's called Hey You Up.
Had to turn your booty call into emergency contact.
Failable on Amazon and on Audible.
Cautwell, what do you got?
Check out Cartoon Hell over on Dropout as well.
Sign up, dropout.tv slash NAD pod.
Oh yeah.
Jake, what do you got?
BrotherSisterco.com, my family beard oil business, baby.
Mr. Sister,
Mr. Sister,
your brother.
We should have a brother's mother.
Oil your foils.
Check who upset. I'll have a brother's mother right now.
Yeah. Oh yeah.
Father Lother, which is
Oh,
Lother,
yeah, Lother your father.
You can also smother your mother. Yeah, I sure just reusing that pun that you also made
Thank you so much for listening
Follow us on Twitter Etsy each my best me at called these called wall adi extra dimmily at
J. Kerwitz's Jake at Brennan L.M
You'll host Brennan I got it light magic all by myself Tweet about the show using hashtag NADPod that's
N-E-D-D-P-O-D.
We are we are.
The youth of the nation, we are we are.
The youth of the nation.
We are the youth of the nation.
We are the youth of the nation.
We are the youth of the nation.
We are the youth of the nation.
We are the youth of the nation.
We are the youth of the nation.
We are the youth of the nation.
We are the youth of the nation.
We are the youth of the nation.
We are the youth of the nation.
We are the youth of the nation.
We are the youth of the nation.
We are the youth of the nation.
We are the youth of the nation.
We are the youth of the nation.
We are the youth of the nation. We are the youth of the nation. We are the youth of the nation. We are the youth of the nation. We are the youth of the nation. We are the youth of the nation. We are the youth of the nation. We are the youth of the show, everybody, and that means we need to shout out our benevolent
counsel of elders.
Wow, hot.
I'm ready.
Thank you.
Starting with Brad D, the only pebble pie that isn't crave and suffers from a sympathy
terrors on account of his frequently frightened family.
Dang.
J. Loma-72, aka Steelbreaker, Hard One's Jim Spiration, also skullises Jim Spiration.
J. Loma-s lives at clean and lifts right.
Dillon B. a sword-wielding wizard surrounded by floating army of blades at all times, one
of the blades decapitated a chipper monk by accident, and Dillon is still trying to forgive
themself.
Traject Danny P. Bohumi is resident artist, painted Hardwan senior portrait at the dwarf
anage, also painted the Mona Lisa.
Up yours!
Woo!
Spencer caskwood, a patron elder of libations,
Elle maker to gods and heroes of Bohemia alike,
also Elle maker to green teens,
and currently in Glateron jail for serving miners.
Wow.
Griffin SDAK, the stranger, the silver dragonborn,
Eldritch Knight, and X-Owner of the Badgers Point in
was partners with Spencer caskwood,
but let Spencer take the fall for serving green teens and is hiding his smugglers bounty
until things cool off.
Bear Mandand, Longus Beard and all of Bohumia.
Also, the biggest smile.
Oh, Scott D holds the dubious honor of having the longest smile in all of Bohumia.
Hermes W. the Bat King, currently meeting with Pop-A to see if they can take legal action against vampires for selling the goodumea. Hermes W. the Bat King, currently meeting with POP-A to see if they can take legal
action against vampires for selling the good Bat name.
Ooh.
Spartas, the biggest meanest green teen, shoes gum, skateboard, and spits off upper-glateron
onto lower-glateron.
Damn.
Adam R. the R-rated assassin, John Claude Van Dam is currently reading a script based on Adam's
life, Fingers crossed.
I'm gonna watch it.
Danielle, the Dastardly Dame, Danielle is so dastardly,
they spiked hard-poss blood bowl with laxatives
so that each hit himself.
And he did.
Oh my god.
You see, A.K.A, how they're a frostback.
MVP of the giant wars,
Kurt on the SS Stormborn,
and fought alongside Elias and Red.
Also, used to spike everyone's ale
with laxatives as a goof.
So the whole ship smelled like shit all the time he was not popular. Daniel you a K.A.
multiple the many faced magician Daniel's faces have gotten back into magic
the gathering recently but they can't agree and will kind of deck to build
just one of the many problems of having a lot of faces. Just do all the colors
right all the colors. Jordan DJ legendary DJ of the realm. Jordan once dropped a beat so fat. It reset the heart of every downed hero in
Bohomian, stabilize them. Wonderful. Jeffrey S. Lord of the Fjord, born of the sword, and receiver of the Spores. That's right, Jeff.
Has been listening in on the Band of Booms' rapport spores, and is planning on releasing a tell-all book.
Oh no, welcome to the group chat!
Cutter W, a high-ealth dandy turned-crick bark attack.
Cutter can flip a stump so good,
it'll feel like you're printing brown leaves.
Probably better style.
John S. A. K. A. Schubert, the mushroom Schubert,
was recently captured and served to chose
and soldiers on mushroom pizzas.
Luckily Schubert is extremely poisonous.
Nice. Get him.
Ryan Amahardwan's ram who survived being abandoned in the frigid north,
only to succumb to some poisonous Schubert pizza they found in the trash.
Nine of them never is too smart.
Full circle.
Elena C.
A demigod who accidentally created Shadowfell when they spilled ink all over some galactic dust.
Michael McD, head mixologist at the Blumana Inn, learned from the best frost giant bartenders on how to make a proper cold
Fashion, and Drew M the buffest lad in all of Bahumia Andrew legit cannot move but by God wouldn't absolute unit
Next up, Balmore's boy who's loving dad was ripped from his family and transported to another world and that world
New York City, baby
I'm walking here.
I'm walking here.
Justin I, Bison Cells, ancient artifacts
that they keep in mint condition,
a total dork of legends.
Jacob C of Vampire Spawn, whose friends also cast Gaea
on them, but only to get them to stop texting their acts
whenever they've had too much blood to drink.
Elena Emma Somalia, who was freaking out
about the big event they're hosting
because there's a friggin' vampire
in the wine cellar.
The vampire in the wine cellar.
Makepux, the amazing code master who programmed our website.
Also, the code master for Trinstagram
and has been keeping an eye on the clasp co-account,
which apparently has been posting
some irresponsible product placement
without hashtagging spawn.
Oh, Earl and Kathleen Al, a pair of revenants
who are so co-dependent, they share an urn
when they re-encarnate.
Jive G, the manicurist who keeps handy, Andy,
looking so dandy.
Just rich, the jock, ostrich, you know how much,
you know ostriches have skinny legs and necks?
Well, not this one, this ostrich is thick
from start to finish.
Yes.
Yes.
Like, you sound like an assing on TV ads. This ostrich is thick from start to finish. You said I like it as seen on TV at this
ostrich is there.
From the dark of that.
You listen to your Daniel R.
Ram Daniel's evil twin keeps asking out
ram Daniel's significant others evil
twin, but they just earn into it.
Nicholas R aka St.
Crickles recently feeling kind of jealous
of hollow wean, which is just a big party
dead eye and the other hollowullos have once a year.
Jennifer V has a V that's even more vicious than Cubs, uses it to store their mechanical
pencils and reusable straws.
Destincy, a gunslayer who uses a chaos clock, which is a gun with four barrels and he never
know which one the bolts are going to come out of.
Devin B, the Bodega Lord, unlike other deities whose presence comes and goes, the Bodegal Lord is always open.
Michael Elb, whom he has own Wolf Arena.
A druid monk who wild shapes into a wolf, then fights with two iron claws standing on its
hind legs, that's super cool.
Sam A. Chalonis's dealer, if you're into the harder stuff, asks Sam about snorring
Revenant ashes.
Yo, call me.
Sergio Salazar Solomansakrias de sesuani, 7th of Salazar, a solemn unsaccharized Deses Yuani,
7th of his name, a sexy, parrullian snake book with sweet snake patterns on his skin.
Also a ton of tattoos and they're really difficult to make out with all this snake patterns.
Trailer, the great fey, who sashes.
It's all hips and shoulders when Trailer comes out way.
Hey, hey, Erin G. Master of the banishment spell.
Erin does a similar disappearing nipple trick as Jins,
but by straight up banishing their Ariolas.
Jory asks, a jacked wizard, Jory is so jacked
they can cast more than one spell per spell slot.
Alucard, a dreamer prefer to try just to do the eye
and I said, I don't even know Dracula.
Oh, there's a point, except for their things,
which are short, square stumps,
which they just suck water from plants.
Babydag, the only doctor that ever performed
their own C-section, currently facing malpractice
for how much oxy-contin they prescribe themselves
to recover from said C-section.
I hope they rod and jail.
I'm H, a crook elf who's got such powerful reports
for us, they can broadcast to the whole Crick.
It was cool until they started using it to invite everyone
to their improv.
Yeah, it was.
Yeah.
Colin G, a Ranger Drew in multiclass who wild shapes
into their own familiar.
Be your own familiar.
Ryan, hard one's Ram who is currently imprisoned
in the afterlife, Betcha didn't know Hell has a complicated
penal system. Don't worry everybody, he just tunneled out
and he actually escaped.
That's a new update here, he is free.
Living, thriving.
Big bug, pregnant elk, moonshines, elk, and baby.
You always know big bug from the others
because they're the only elk
making sure everyone got enough to eat.
All ain't that nice.
Richard F are Revenant, whose urn accidentally got donated
to a good will and was being used as a flower vase when they got asked.
A O. Richard X Mach and I introduced the Crick 2, the seductive art of tango, or as
the Crick call it, hot rass land ofinger. Ha, leave it in his moscake,
leave it, I deserve it.
I fah, they did a friggin' fall, they deserve it.
Cannibalistic could through, who became a cannibal,
after accidently eating one of their own tentacles
while slurping up a bowl of ramen.
Guess it's true what they say.
You are what you slur.
Sam L, a pharmacist who works in Galatoron,
got into the job to mix potions for adventurers,
but spends most of their time making pills
for lactose intolerant chosen.
Dom R, a Pepsi Genossee,
if you try to summon a Coke Genosseum,
mess up the incantation, Dom R will appear.
Hope that's okay.
Well, it's friggin' not.
Josh S, the revived cyborg version of Josh the Cobald,
was recently sent back in time
But instead of killing the band of boobs, they just started hanging out with them getting swole with a pass self
Let's break the meetry owner of dwargers big bogger
Recently started selling house saddest borgers
You can live in if you can afford to pay the mortgages
The Lord of the Four Quarger Arches. Unless you get more Glorger Drops.
Sweet Lordger, Coyote Caleb Storm, Cup Bearer and Cords Great Hall.
Also the Cup Bearer and Cords Great Car,
which is a super cheap Kia without Cup Holders.
Nickolas C has started every movie ever made in Bohumia,
was recently cast as Gladro Zell in the upcoming film,
Good Shadow Fellows.
Probably gonna suck.
Matt El, the highest of all high elves.
Matt's ears are so long they can't go through doors which is fine because according to
Matt, doors are a foolish invention of mortals.
Mike H. Grimhawks only chill vampire.
Drinks impossible blood made from plants and taught dead eye how to play the piano.
Kevin S. A master of disguise, mostly due to the fact that they're a sentient chair.
As far as you know, you might be sitting on Kevin right now.
That's you E. A cow person who hurts cows for a living.
They don't think it's weird, but they're horse who is a naked human.
Thinks it's a tabbed, it's a suspicious course.
Sam, you will be an elephant scholar who spent their whole life creating the Crick Alphabet.
It took them a hundred years to come up with M and then another 300 to crack O
Tell for G author of the hit children's book and movie
Ulfgar goes punch currently working on a prequel series called fantastic beasts and how to punch them
Guardian of the light Zach H. Bohumi is only keyblade wiel He uses the giant sized key fob of a forward fusion as their shield.
Back Alpha, the drunk monk and enlightened drunken master Wurtrenasi,
who just used other key points on a special ability they call some in cheeseburger.
Curtis S, a grim hawk shell who recently invented a type of ceramic hat called a bowl.
They celebrate her discovery with a big play to champagne.
Colton B, the spooky history in all of Grimhawk,
mangled roots, knotted trunk, and a functioning cloaca.
That's right, Colton's got it all.
Yens Christian T, recently quit Trinstagram
and started posting sword dancing vids
on a new app called TrickTruck.
Gage M, a handsome little scorpion
who opens soda bottles for folks at the creek,
and if they sting you, don't worry,
their venom is actually a polio vaccine.
Tiana Syrogen and Asimar Paladin,
who drunkenly swore a blood oath, but forgot what for.
Their only clue was a note on their mirror
that reads, find the infernicus,
but what could it mean tune in next week to find out more?
Erin C, an incredibly rare species of vampire barred.
Cheyah.
Is that supposed to be that?
No.
Aaron C. An incredibly rare species of vampire barred.
They have yellow spikes and survived.
Oh, I get it now.
I'm tagging their big names and sucking off their shores.
I get it now.
I get it.
I'm so sorry. We're gonna have a commercial airship captain,
basically exactly like hard ones dad,
but instead of fighting giants,
they shuttle commuters from Esredica later on.
Helpful.
Deventy, a bagsmith who recently invented
the all new rolling luggage of holding,
perfect for the time displaced,
halfling dad on the go.
Oh my God, that's brilliant.
Montana Monarch, the head of a rich family
of royal butterflies. Montana makes their enemies disappeared by shoving them in a cement field
Christ Christ Christ Christ
Of course so that they can metamorphosis Jesus Christ metamorphosis with the fishes how dare you
It's like I were about to get on to James section, so it's gonna be real short sentences
So it's gonna be real short sentences. L&D, the fiercest woman in Bohemia.
So mean she doesn't even tip her vine bartenders.
I followed directions.
Harbors, Carborough Chapel Hill FPV,
Russia's into battle screaming, Fook-Doof.
Chad A. Avogrog, so a rogue in a very expensive cloak.
Reese and S, a brand new Nannerfly baby,
tasked with repopulating Bohumia.
Whoa, what a task.
TJM, a fourth dwarf daddy who never comes out of the hammer because they're in a hot tub somewhere else.
RPKB, R2D2's less helpful cousin, mostly used for cooking hot pockets.
Yum!
Taylor SAK, Trash the Traveler, Trash has been everyone Bohumia but can't remember any of the
capitals.
Anime intellect, a pea-sized barbarian who fights with a toothpick sword and uses a button shield.
Cute Jolo dolo! An agent of the Knights of Cutty, always battling their dreams. Dreams!
Tell me what you know about night terrors, nothing.
I was hoping you'd get to say that.
you know about night terrors, nothing. I was hoping you'd get to say it.
Keep on that pursuit.
Joshua C holds the Grimhawk record
for eating the most plates of soup.
Larissa J. A Shell Shell.
That's right, Larissa lives their life
as a pretty dumb conch shell.
Genevieve F. A Rye Elf.
That is an elf with a bakery.
Right.
Dylan C. M. A Serfen vampire
who can ride out any tidal waves spell and never forgets
the hang loose.
Oh, got walked.
Kelvin Noodle's the pasta elemental recently destroyed their greatest foe.
A sugerlar.
I love sugerlar.
I love sugerlar.
B money, hip, uh, bound or his hip hop alter ego about to drop their EP Motuna, Mo Problos.
Andrew A. a judge who owes pop-hop a favor has no idea when this little critter will call for it,
but it's gonna be a big ask,
and Andrew will have to deliver.
Jay, a rich, Arakakra,
who lives in a mansion nest
that is nicer than Beverly's house and go later on.
I don't know about that.
Heartless Master, contrary to their name,
Heartless Master has a ton of heart,
and it's currently doing the Master Cling.
CC Lulu has the only garden in Shadowfell,
all they can grow our audience, which is fine.
Paul B, a bard who entertains the realm
by doing pen tricks, but with a quill, so feather tricks.
Binds a nater, a barbarian, or a coup has it out for barns,
hasn't ever killed a man, but has murdered many a shed.
So cruel, shame him, a creepy doll who is currently on fire.
Yeah.
Gasmine, a famous Bahumi and cartoon character
known as the Gasmineian Devil.
Trigger happy, the gun-toten crack,
who cop trained instead of dead eye, emotionally brutal.
And that's all we've got this week.
Guys, thank you guys so much for listening.
Thank you to all of our Council of Elders
and our Patreon subscribers.
Head on over to patreon.com slash nad pod
to listen to the short rest.
We'll be back next week.
Thank you guys so much.
Bye.