Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 73: Pandemonium (Mage Madness with Zac Oyama)

Episode Date: August 16, 2019

The Band of Boobs enter the final round of the Gladeholm Wizard Tournament and face off against the last three teams! Hardwon plays nice with Ren, Moonshine channels her high elven side, Beve...rly enters a duel, and Mavris shows why he's "The Unschooled." Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content! Get tickets to our upcoming live shows at naddpod.com/live.Music/Sound Effects include:"Crackling Fire" by sagetyrtle at Freesound.org."A Wizard Tournament" by Emily Axford."Star Spawn" by Emily Axford."Unknown Tome" by Emily Axford."Lilith La Trix" by Emily Axford."Pandemonium" by Emily Axford."Summoning" by Emily Axford."The Objective" by Emily Axford."Mee Maw's Burden" by Emily Axford."Secret Basement" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a Headgun Podcast. Hey everybody, it's Emily here to talk to you about Adam and Eve. Who wants better sex? And who wants to start having better sex immediately? The best way to level up your sex game is to go to Adamaneeve.com right now. Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item, plus free shipping, which includes rush shipping. More than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy.
Starting point is 00:00:32 They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority, plus 100% free shipping with rush processing on your entire order. Doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy, all will be packaged and sent discreetly. So don't wait, better sex is just a click away. That's 50% off one item, free shipping with rush processing. Bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your bedroom. Just go to Adamineave.com and select any one item. It could be an adventurous new toy or anything you desire. Just enter offer code
Starting point is 00:01:06 PAPA at checkout. That's www.atamineave.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to the podcast, so be sure to use the code PAPA to get your discount 100% free shipping and get it fast with brush processing. Code P-A-W-P-A-W. Goodbye, Sweeties. Welcome to the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Bahumia, everyone. Bahumia.
Starting point is 00:01:42 Bahumia. I'mia. Bahumia. I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy joined by Jake Herwitz. Hard one, surefoot. Emily Axford. Moonshine Sabin. Splitten Oceans and Causing Commotions. Shout out to Jeff Pearson, 2012 who said that to me on Twitter. Oh, we're soliciting you.
Starting point is 00:02:01 I could use it. I wasn't on purpose, but they tweeted it at me and I was like, can I please use this? Alright, yeah, at Call of the Un Twitter just hit me up. I got this banked for the next month, fantastic. And of course, called Old Tanner. Beverly Togo, the fifth shortest boy on campus. Oh, okay. And joining us again, our very special guest, Zach O'Yama.
Starting point is 00:02:24 Maveris, the Unschooled, who forgot this assignment. Nice. And joining us again are very special guest, Zach O'Yama. Maverus the unschooled who forgot this assignment. Nice sewing character. Oh, right, I'm also Munchen the unschoolable. That's right. Guys, let's do a little recap. So last week, you guys survived the second and third rounds of the Glade Home Wizard tournament, first,
Starting point is 00:02:42 besting the star spawn in an in an airborne battle, that tested... Against our will. Your constitution and wisdom. Then successfully stole a copper from a void dragon in a test of strength and intelligence. After escaping the void dragon's galactic dream scape, you returned to the Great Hall and joined the Final Four teams in preparing for the last round.
Starting point is 00:03:03 While scoping out the competition. It occurred to hard one that the No Mish woman was wearing a golden sword necklace, the symbol of the chosen, and that's where we are now. Well, it's become of the tingles. You guys see that? Looks like that lady really loves milk.
Starting point is 00:03:21 She's drinking that big straw. Yeah, that's a good call. Real quick, Beth, well, you mind her allusions of milk and just see if she has any kind of reaction. Sure thing. I mind her allusion a whole gallon full. And then I just kind of like start shugging it down making direct eye contact with her. Can I do an inside check on the nose? Yeah, go ahead. 14. 14. She doesn't seem super into it. Even if I like stand up on the table and do a little dance while I do it.
Starting point is 00:03:52 Even as you do your milk jug dance, you see the only person who's really into it is Ren. You hear him go, oh, can I get some of that? Oh shut the hell up. I didn't know we had to bring our own milk. I just splashed it on his crotch. Oh, I just got peed. This got peed bring our own milk. I just splashed it on his crotch. Why? He's got peed.
Starting point is 00:04:05 This guy peed. Peed milk. You see the masters are at the front of the room. Look at us, goes, all right, children, enough. So you guys are all sitting in this great hall. Around you, you can see the other remaining teams are getting geared up for the next round. You see the gnome woman is using a spell
Starting point is 00:04:22 to repair some damage to one of her clockwork temp lars. You see the shadowy figure in black with the iron mask is quietly talking to his waters. You look around and you see that the room has been prepped for the final round. The tables have all been removed. The Great Hall is like a giant cavern now. The only banners that remain are the schools colors, red and black, and the purple and silver of the Glade Home royalty, the nobles. On the pedestal where you saw all the master's chairs before, there is now just the head master's chair. This throne, this red cushion with silver finishings and dark wood that appears to be attached to the pedestal itself. And you see Luconis is there with a crew of masters from the other schools and guilds.
Starting point is 00:05:10 Some of them look disappointed that their team's lost. You see some pretty bummed-out looking dwarven teachers. But mostly they're just worried because somebody evil getting this crown is bad for everybody. It's not just bad for the elves. So you guys see, Luconis takes center stage again. He doesn't have his usual kind of pomp. He just looks very serious now and he addresses the final four teams.
Starting point is 00:05:38 And he goes, congratulations, you've made it to the final round. You can all look around you because one of these teams will be declared the winner and their school or guild will gain possession of the thinking cap. The fate of Bohumia and that of the Elves rests in your hands and you see Lucanus lock-size with you Moonshan. He then gestures to the wall behind him, full of these cubbies containing ancient artifacts that span the entire back wall. You see that the individual cubbies now all have
Starting point is 00:06:13 little arcane barriers protecting them, except for the thinking cap itself. It sits dead center on the wall, 50 feet up, just completely exposed. And Lucana's continues. The final round is quite simple. Whoever can sit atop the headmaster's throne while holding the thinking cap for one minute uninterrupted is the winner. Warder or champion, it doesn't matter. Just metagaming wise, that's about 10 rounds.
Starting point is 00:06:45 So you pretty much need to like, barter a deal or just kind of beat everybody, or be so sneaky that somebody somehow wouldn't notice you there the whole time. And Lucana's continues, in order to prevent conspiracies or teams sabotaging each other, it is an ancient agreed-upon tradition that we introduce an element of chaos to the competition.
Starting point is 00:07:14 The masters will be. That's sick. Sorry, sorry. Did you have a question, Mavris? I did not. I said that's sick. You see some of the death night guys got a grumble What do you mean it's sick?
Starting point is 00:07:32 Rin I can't believe you're interrupting right now, Rin. Yes, Ren be quiet Kick him out of the tournament. I probably should be head of this was back full. All right again Let's stop telling on people the masters are Probably should be head him. This is respectful. All right, again, let's stop telling on people. The masters are going to be summoning a spirit golem to guard the thinking cap. The being will attack any of you without prejudice, how you deal with a spirit golem
Starting point is 00:07:56 and the rest of the teams is entirely up to you. Now, the masters are not allowed to get involved under any circumstances. We will be trapped together in a demi-plane until someone sits atop the throne and the competition is declared over. We do not know what exactly will be summoned. When we raise the spirit column, there is only one thing for certain that it will bring death and chaos and destruction. I will give you all one last chance to bow out of the competition if you'd like to. I like it, Rin. When Chiang gets up, well, this is bad time,
Starting point is 00:08:29 he's a bathroom. You can use the bathroom, they all, everybody waits for you quietly for 10 minutes. It's now a good time to go to the bathroom, though. For the group. If anyone needs to go to the bathroom, go to the bathroom. I don't have to go, but I could.
Starting point is 00:08:44 Back on the bathroom. You know what? I could actually use the bathroom if you don't need to go to the bathroom, go to the bathroom. I don't have to go, but I could. You can't go to the bathroom. You know what? I could actually use the bathroom if you don't mind. Oh, what was funny there? I just have to go to the bathroom. You have to rest. Just grow up. All right, before we sum in the spirit column,
Starting point is 00:08:59 everyone use the bathroom. Take your short rest, do whatever little inspiring speeds you have to do. OK. I want to invite everyone to the Unisex and use the bathroom, take your short rest, do whatever little inspiring species you have to do. Okay. I want to invite everyone to the Unisex bathroom with me so that we can all take care of our business and I can also give an inspiring speech. Well, we're all in little stalls next to each other.
Starting point is 00:09:15 Yes, absolutely. We're all next to each other, we're all passing toilet paper back and forth. I've written inspiring messages on the toilet paper for everyone. Wow. And what does this mean? This means you get an extra 16 hit points for the round.
Starting point is 00:09:29 Fuck yeah. Yeah. Nice. Did we take a short rest? Since our last fight, I can't remember. Oh yeah. You guys have taken a short rest between every round. So you gotta keep track of your hit, that is.
Starting point is 00:09:38 Great, great, great. Hard one is maxed out, baby. Nice. Munchan back up to full. Ooh, Beverly is so close to full, but with my extra HP, feeling pretty full. Mavis used the rest of his dice and he is up to full. Cool, so you guys come out from the bathroom
Starting point is 00:09:58 from your little bathroom break. Well, I suppose coming out, I wanna take Mavis aside and I wanna say, good luck out there. Hey, and then I'm gonna cast freedom of movement on Maveris so for the next hour He's got freedom of movement and that is not a concentration spell Okay, for the duration the target's movement is unaffected by difficult terrain and spells and other magical effects can neither Reduce the target speed nor cause the target to be paralyzed or restrained. Holy shit.
Starting point is 00:10:26 The target can also spend five feet of movement to automatically escape from non-magical restraints, such as manacles or a creature that has it grappled. Finally, being underwater, imposes no penalties on the target's movement or attack. Don't know if it'll come into play, but... Nice. Bev takes his very long jersey, which is way too long for him and ties it up. So it's kind of like a tank top. I've got like a big bow up front on the bottom of it.
Starting point is 00:10:52 Great. Yeah. Mine's been a crop cut this entire time. Same. Yeah, same here. I got to show off that pender greens. I even cut the neck out a little bit. That's barely there.
Starting point is 00:11:03 Actually, I've cut mine into sort of like like Daisy from that TV show where there are always dukes of hazards. Okay. Like one of those little crop tops. Oh, we doing more paint? Yeah, let's do some more paint. Okay, absolutely. I kind of, I prepare, you know what?
Starting point is 00:11:20 I prepare some of the ash from Hard One's former body, and we all put it under our eyes. Careful with that, because we might wanna see if there's like anybody that can restore some of that mass. Some of it blows into the toilet, I lick it. Yeah. Hard one, look, I made it go T.
Starting point is 00:11:38 Put it back in the fucking jar, man. It's your, Lucana's yelling, all right, bathroom break is over, What is this? Give us five minutes max Are you going number two in there? Oh, sorry? Lucana's I don't want to be a snitch, but Ren clog the toilet. I don't know if you want to like behead him for that or In absolutely wrecked it. It's crazy in here It's improbable. You guys come out of the bathroom back into the grade hall. You see everyone's been waiting for you. It's that awkward thing where your footsteps like echo as you walk
Starting point is 00:12:15 into the grade hall. It's been such a long time. Everyone's just sitting there kind of waiting for you. Oh, so, what's up? So, all right. And, Luke, I'm sorry guys, Harwan just took a while in there. Savage burn. I have to respect it. Luke, I just kind of nods to himself, looking extremely worried. And he goes very well.
Starting point is 00:12:43 We shall now begin the ritual to bind the masters to the demi plane, summon the spirit and begin the final round. You see Lucanus flicks his wrist and breaks the seal of one of the cubbies. He uses telekinesis to pull a cauldron from it. You see it floats out, it lands in front of him, and he and the other masters cut their hands with daggers and pour blood into it. You see, Lucanus looks up at Maveris. Is this sick?
Starting point is 00:13:16 It's absolutely sick. It's like quietly not sick. Just a really like, it's the most earnest look Maveris has ever given, Lucanus. It's awesome. You guys see the liquid inside showing no signs of having been heated up before begins to crackle, sizzle, and boil as soon as the blood hits. Lucanus and the others begin to chant in Elvish. Monshen and Bev, you would understand this. They say, we, the masters of the arcane arts,
Starting point is 00:13:49 relinquish our positions as protectors of the realm until a champion is declared here. We summon a guardian of the Noah, theah, who is impartial and unwavering. We ask you to send us a spirit from Pandemonium, the plane of chaos itself. You see the cauldron begins to bubble and froth over, quickly filling the entire room with a thick green smoke. And as it begins to cover, Lucanus, moonshine, you see he's locking eyes with you and you hear a voice in your
Starting point is 00:14:20 head, go, my daughter, you carry the pride of the elves and the pride of your father with you. Thank you, Dad. I say it out loud. What? And then I go on. Are you trying to talk to your dad? Yeah, it's not a big deal. Shut up, Brad.
Starting point is 00:14:36 And the kind of continues. Just be safe as you can, please. Please come back in one piece. You see the green smoke is coming up around him as he's getting worked out. I will, and you don't have too much fun at that demi plane. Obviously, he breaks from his kind of worry and laughs for a second as he disappears in green smoke.
Starting point is 00:14:58 So you guys see, the smoke completely fills the room. And when it clears, you see that all of the masters have disappeared. And in their place is a huge fiend, about 25 feet tall and very wide with a huge swollen belly of rotten red flesh and goat legs. It has wings like a giant bat and a head, like a ram skull, with rotted flesh covering up some of the exposed bone. It wears a long, dirty brown, shredded skirt with dozens of skulls attached to the belt and carries a huge hooked black wand, pulsating with this eerie, bright green energy, and in the green glow you can see
Starting point is 00:15:46 around it it looks like there's mist or something but it's actually just killing the air and little particles around it's just pure death energy. I'll take red. I'll take red. He's added mist to her vision board. That is awesome. You see Ren breaks from his kind of confident demeanor and goes, oh, we're gonna die. Hey, hey, Ren. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:11 Do you want to do like sort of like a R2 team, sort of form a little, a little something? I think we all should work together. Let's all work together. Oh. I'm sorry. You see the Necromancers and you see the necromancer in the death knights look at the elves, you guys and the nobles and nod,
Starting point is 00:16:32 and the gnome nods as well. Everybody go ahead and roll initiative. 13, 16, nine, four. Good luck out there, gang. Okay, so nobody, none of the other teams, rolled particularly well either, which means that this fiend gets to take its layer action first. You see, it's diaphragm begin to move as it sucks in a bunch of air and then lets out this horrible goat yell, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA comes this green mist and you see for a second, it looks like in some like, infernal script
Starting point is 00:17:26 or something, something is written in the air and you see the lesser magin' rents party, drop's dead. Oh, what? He was temporarily on our team. Oh, my friend, oh no. Oh. Can I do an inside check, guys? So look, what the heck just fuckin' happened?
Starting point is 00:17:44 Sure, yeah. Like, I wanna do an inside check? As to what the heck just fucking happened? Sure, yeah. Like I want to do an inside check to try and figure out like was it what kind of energy might I've done it? Sure, can I help? I want to say that like while as soon as that thing came through the cauldron I pulled out my demon book. So maybe I'm grouped up with moonshine. Okay, so I'm going to make a history check, Bev.
Starting point is 00:18:03 12. I got a 14 on history. 14 on history, so Bev, you can tell right off the bat that this is not a devil, this is a fiend. So it's a little bit different. You remember when they were chanting in Elvish, they were pulling somebody from this plane called Pandemonium, which is just a place of pure chaos,
Starting point is 00:18:29 whereas the devils are like lawful evil. You guys could just tell that it was like Necromancy. Cool. It's Necromancy. Okay, so yeah, you guys see this one elf just drops dead, and the other elves look terrified, and you see one of the champions gets down and They start trying to wake the dude up that passed out, but he is cold and dead. Maverick sets your turn
Starting point is 00:18:54 Wait, so is it what hit him again? Was it like a cloud? Yeah, it was maverick go ahead and give me a like our conno check or Shout to the two crew. Welcome. I mean, Ren is a wizard. Okay, Ren got a 22. It's power word kill. Don't you know that one? I was pretty sure that's what it is. I'm very scared. Oh, man. Marissa's just gonna hold an action
Starting point is 00:19:25 just cause he, it's too confusing. Not cause he's scared. It's cause he's confused. I'm confused. It's only because I'm confused. You see next, that is, these other guys are just gonna go by team, so we don't have to track it so hard.
Starting point is 00:19:39 You see the gnome lady looks up at everyone and goes, Teehee, Teehee. Yeah. I mean, a deer like Ren, you also think random shit is funny. She looks at, like, Ren looks nervous and everything and she just looks confident and she smiles.
Starting point is 00:19:55 I think a lot of this is funny, Teehee. She pulls out a cloak. You see, it's got stars on it and planets and solar systems and stuff and you can actually see like the stars move and like twinkle. She throws the cloak on. She touches her Templars and they all disappear. Motherfucker. That is hard one's turn. I call to the wind that they disappeared in cowards! That's right! Zander wake up! I think it's like a catch all noise. Buddy, don't worry.
Starting point is 00:20:37 I strongly believe that you will be meeting with Zander very soon. I twirl my javelin and I throw it at the giant goat bird. Sweet, go ahead. And I'm gonna go ahead. My name is goat bird. That's a net 20! The lightning javelin? Lightning javelin. Oh dude you're gonna do so much damage. 31 damage. Nice hard one. You first one act. Bravely fucking step forward after this dude's just been instantly killed. Throw your javelin, explode with lightning into the things. It hits this thing's rotting belly and explodes lightning damage all into him. And he lets out this goat bleat roar
Starting point is 00:21:25 and pulls the javelin out and tosses it aside. Go ahead and take your second or your third attack. Okay, I'll just take two more attacks with my Queen Samar. Sweet. That's our boy. 18 on the first one. 18 is not gonna do it.
Starting point is 00:21:41 You swing at him, surprisingly shorefooted. Whoa, that's my nickname, shorefoot. Oh no, no, I'm definitely gonna kill you 21 on the second. That'll do it. 15 damage. 15 damage. End of your turn, he's going to take a legendary action
Starting point is 00:22:07 and she'll touch you. You see, he reaches down this meaty paw, super disgusting and sweaty. Can I have you with it? And you feel this horrible, can I counter-spot it? Nice. My man. Get away from my boy, dude.
Starting point is 00:22:23 I'm dead, Mattvericks up super hard. Oh, good move. You should have done it on the other one. Oh, Alexander. Regenuinely, I am sorry. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. All right, you see the magic fizzles in his hand.
Starting point is 00:22:40 Then that is this big fiend's turn. This fiend has just been dispelled. Super, super pissed at Maveris. Looks at Maveris. Is this your boy? Points to hard one. Yeah, you see, necrotic energy begins to go around his finger. I can't counter-spot again. You only have one reaction. finger. I can't counter-spot again. You only have one reaction. Pokes hard one. He actually hates me. With a finger of death. It doesn't kill you, but it does send negative energy coursing
Starting point is 00:23:16 through your body. Make a constitution saving throw. Holy shit. What? 14. 14 is not going to do it. Hard one you take 66, necrotic damage. Oh, man. Hikers. All worth it to do it for your boy.
Starting point is 00:23:36 I really weekly, that matters. Maverick is crying. Thanks, bro. That is the. Thanks bro. That is the elves turn. You see the two their champions. That's their stat blocks. So you see the two champions. These knights in a beautiful plate with the purple and silver and gold of the nobles. You see they look up at each other. Let's do this for Glade Home. And they raise their swords and they get into these very fancy fencing poses.
Starting point is 00:24:10 Ted pull on the water now. And they go and they like twinkle their toes as they get close and they're gonna go ahead and make some attacks. They do look quite skilled. It's just very fancy fighting. These are Rens friends, right? These are Rens friends.
Starting point is 00:24:24 Rens friends. And it's friends Ren's friends. Ren's friends. Come on, Ren's friends. Go friends! Uh-huh! Ha-ha-ha! Well, you actually laugh like that too. I do all the time! Uh-huh!
Starting point is 00:24:33 Uh, uh, so, uh, first one, misses on the first attack, hits on the second attack, for 20 damage. It's actually not bad. Now, uh, Ratchet and the Cupatch in the cupboard! Turns and does a different different move at stab names. Try not to call it out right before you do it. Now the flourishing butterfly swings forward hits and does 18 damage. It is writing down all these moves. Then the other one is gonna take three attacks hits on the first one for 17 damage Makes a second attack misses makes a third attack hits for
Starting point is 00:25:12 23 damage ice not bad. You see them them elves are Mixing it up out there. You see Ren looks Super scared and he goes oh, I guess I should do something. Please. And he runs over to the side so that he can just hit the fiend without hitting his friends and he's going to cast Cone of Cold at a, let's say, 6th level. 6th level. 6th left. 6th left. Go for it, Ren. Is Ren about to do something impressive?
Starting point is 00:25:47 Um, so you see- 8th level spell is gonna be fucking- He holds up his hand and a beam of frost shoots out from it and hits this giant feign in the back, lets out this horrible roar, and does 35 damage. Oh ho ho. Oh ho ho ho ho ho, Ren.
Starting point is 00:26:04 Oh ho ho, Ren. When you ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, 22 to hit and that is going to be 30 damage. I guess all hellish Rebuke him can I do that? Yeah go ahead. Goal. Uh, 2d10 of damage, she makes a save. Uh, he passes. Fucker. I rolled a 3 on that so I guess it takes half. BP. So that, that just doesn't do very much at all. Okay, you did just get death touched. That is the Necromancer team's turn. You see that two of the death knights charge and go in after the big monster, and you see the Necromancer grabs one of the other death knights and they dimensioned with the thinking cap. And the cubby. Go to grab it.
Starting point is 00:27:06 You see them up in the cubby, like hanging on up there. The two death knights are gonna go in after this monster. First one swings and misses. Misses on the second attack. Hits on the third attack for 16 damage. Next one is going to do, why not? Try a blinding smite.
Starting point is 00:27:27 It's a bonus action, then it's gonna swing hits on the first attack. It does 26 damage. You see this monster is just, as all, it's basically like a fucking raided world of Warcraft, where you guys are all fighting this giant monster. This night comes up, slashes into it,
Starting point is 00:27:45 just ooze, coming out of the monster, just roaring, just no signs that it's giving in at all. They're all saying their catchphrases over and over again. Yeah. Then it's gonna take another attack, misses, and takes another attack, and misses. That is Moonshine's turn. Woo!
Starting point is 00:28:03 I'm going to symbolize against thee, and then misty step over towards the crown. On my way, hawking my spores at this nasty goat man. Sweet. You shoot spores in the goat man. Goat man is a mutapoison. So it's not taking any action. I thought that'd not happen.
Starting point is 00:28:23 All right, Ben. You run past them. I'll say go ahead and make a climb check to climb up these cubbies. Because you could potentially get up to where the death knight and the necromancer are. 22. 22.
Starting point is 00:28:36 So with a mix of your movement and misty step, moonshine, you bound up the wall. And you get there. These guys are reaching into like this deep cubby to grab it. And your... Hi bitch. What are you doing here? I'm roulsandthing you're doing.
Starting point is 00:28:54 What are you doing here? Did I hear you say that? Shut up. Then at the end of your turn, Rin, can you hear that? Oh yeah, that was stupid. At the end of your turn, goat one can you hear that? Oh, yeah, that was stupid. At the end of your turn goat one shorefoot is going to Chill touch hard one. Oh shit. I realized if I went into symbiotic entity that means pop-paws in fungal form
Starting point is 00:29:21 So he could have attacked the goat man. Can we give him an attack of the goat man? I want pop-paw to like run into the goat man Yeah, pop-paw runs into the goat fiend. Okay. Who's the little guy? Does a ten hit? A ten does not hit. Does a ten nip? Just flicks pop-over and pop-up turns upside down. Fiend, fiend, fiend.
Starting point is 00:29:38 Pop-up, we worked on you getting back on your feet again. So at the end of Moon Shine's turn, Goat Fiend is going to try to chill touch. Hard one going to make a spell attack against him. I just want everyone to know, so no one, so no one wastes any heal spells. If someone gets chill touched, they can't regain hit points until the next turn.
Starting point is 00:30:02 And I just rolled a nat 20. Oh, our boy. Damn. Luckily, Chill Touch does not do that much damage. The main thing from Chill Touch is just that you now can't heal until his next turn. His next turn. You might need to like, retrieve and hide for a minute.
Starting point is 00:30:18 Never. High behind Rinn. That was a lot of dice, man. Mm. 20, 22 damage. That's not bad. He was gonna be more chaotic, because he keeps going after,
Starting point is 00:30:30 I thought they were like, oh, he's gonna go after at random. He's only gotten to go once. He's gonna run after the people with a crown in a second. He just can't move. He's doing legendary actions. I see, oh, okay. That is Bev's turn.
Starting point is 00:30:42 I think just to give Moon Shining more cover, I'm going to just rush towards his monster and try and take as many swings as I can. Sweet. Get him. Do frog on the water, brother! Ooh! I'll show you, boy in the wood! Boy in the wood, I've not heard of this!
Starting point is 00:30:58 Here he come! Alright, fuck, that is a 13, that's gonna do it. No, what is boy in the wood do something better? Okay, do bully walk in the bath. Do bully walk in the bog guess whatever that one is nennah fly in the jar surfing on a leaf I do all three surfing on a leaf giant mayor Joe at town hall Maybe it's because he's too short. He can't reach him. Come on Just mourner don't I can't reach him. Come on, Rin. Oh, wow. Another two two. My friend died. Just mourner, don't. 23.
Starting point is 00:31:30 23 is gonna hit. Woo. Okay, I'm going to do a blinding smite, in addition to my divine smite. Do I get a sense that this thing is evil and receptive to a super evil? So I can add my extra D6. Yep. 49 damage D6. Yep.
Starting point is 00:31:45 49 damage. Yeah. Awesome. Just this explosion of brilliant light. Yes, do more of that one. That one's good. I call that palore through the door. I'll walk through the door.
Starting point is 00:32:00 You must teach us. A shall. I feel like we'll be great friends. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'm the champion, I mean, come on. Even I can see through it. Come on now. What are we doing after this? Uh-huh. You guys see at the beginning of the next round, goat fiends, layer action. You see, raises the wand up and with it,
Starting point is 00:32:33 skeletal arms, big, giant ones burst out of the ground and grab all of the warriors that are around him and restrain you guys, except for you, Maveris. Yes! And for you, Maveris, you slip through. But you see the two knights that are up there with you guys, the two champions. Uh-huh, what is this?
Starting point is 00:32:53 Oh no! I thought my friends. Beverly gets caught. Hard one gets caught. Moon Shines over by the cubby. Quick, my new friends, let us wriggle. Let us wriggle and dance ourselves away. I will try. I'm trying to wriggle,
Starting point is 00:33:05 but it's not working. Be like the worm. Maverick sits your turn. Okay. So you see these skeletal hands have grabbed all your boys, all your boys and girls. Fuck. But not moonshine, right? Not moonshine, she's up in the,
Starting point is 00:33:17 she's up in on the cubby wall. This feels like kind of unimportant to do right now, but I feel like it'll matter later. So I'm gonna cast Sea Invisibility. Yeah. Oh, that's good. That's good. Sweet.
Starting point is 00:33:30 Where's the gnomes? Yeah, just to see if I could see what those guys are. Okay, cool. They're treacherous, keeping on. I love that, that's cool. You cast Sea Invisibility, and you do not see the gnomes in this room or the temple are. So they blink. Maybe because it's like a cloak, you can't see.
Starting point is 00:33:47 And it's not, it shouldn't cast invisibility. She's using a cloak, maybe. Or they left. Maybe she's hiding by a chair, but also invisible. On the next initiative, that is the gnome's turn. Everybody go ahead and give me perception checks. Did they go? 17. 15.
Starting point is 00:34:06 14. 14 as well. A perched up eagle eye in the... So Moonshine probably hears this better than the other guys, because you guys are all kind of wrapped up. You got, Matt, just even though you're not caught, you got, um, wrangly bones right next to you, just like making all these popping noises and everything. And there's just all of this chaos of this goat-fein screaming and everything.
Starting point is 00:34:26 Um, Moonshine, you hear the dragon downstairs roaring. Oh no, the boy dragon. The dragon is recording the door. Quixes. Quixes, you're a Quixes roaring. Okay, uh, gotta get on that report, spores. And say, there's another fucking battle we need to be concerned about. And that is happening downstairs in that emerald cylinder that my dad got really mad at me for trying to cast guidance on Wait, but what the nooms have gone to fart into the two
Starting point is 00:34:56 Give a shit about the dirty ass nose. They're gonna fart right into that too the ultimate goof Hard one that's just like a note hard one. That's your turn. It's just like a note. Hard one, that's your turn. Grappled by a bunch of bones. Oh yeah, you can get out with a... You're a strengths, you can make an attack with disadvantage. And then you can try to get out with a strength check. I guess I want to try to get out so we can check on these gnomes. Sweet shit, but then...
Starting point is 00:35:23 Yeah, that's what we should do, right? Because if friends get the cap, that's still kind of fine. But we just can't let this, it seems like this death night person might not be great either. We don't know if they're not your answers or what. Hard one, make a decision. What do you do? You're restrained. I'm gonna try to get out.
Starting point is 00:35:40 Okay. Nat 20. Hard one. You usually have to use an action to get out. You are just so inspired by this. You're like, everybody fucking needs me right now. You burst out sick. I wanted to dab, Ren, to dab, man, for stuff again.
Starting point is 00:35:57 I'm like the guy that does too many handshakes once we established it up next. It's awesome because it's like new friendship, you know? Nice tight, tight. I guess back? It's awesome because it's like new friendship, you know. Nice tight, tight. I guess I'll do a disengage. Okay, because I'm gonna still wait for my friends and my friends. So you start running, you basically get to the door
Starting point is 00:36:14 at the corner tower that you know kind of where to go to. Cool, can I let my pants fall down just a little bit so I moon the, the, the, the go bird? Your pants fall down a little bit and you hear a rango, what, you're running away? Uh-huh. You're gonna die, Ren. Just, I know, we're all gonna die.
Starting point is 00:36:29 Where's your honor? It's got you there. I'm gonna fucking kill you. On the fiend's turn, it is going to, all of these other people besides Maveris are all tied up with fucking skeleton arms now. This dude is going to rush over to where he sees moonshine and the death knights trying to grab the thinking cap and is going to go ahead point a finger and do circle of death
Starting point is 00:36:59 in that cubby. moonshine, go ahead and give me a constitution saving throw. 8. 8's not going to do it. She close enough to me me a constitution saving throw. Eight. Eight's not gonna do it. She close enough to me to get the plus four. No, she's up on the 50 feet in the air. Yeah, you take 29 damage. And you see these.
Starting point is 00:37:16 That's not even, I'm not even done with my symbiotic entity hit point. Baby, bring it on. You see this how how much me. Necromancer does have resistance to it, but does take some damage from that. The death night straight up does not look like it affected him. Then that is the elves turns.
Starting point is 00:37:36 They are just going to... Lizard on the creek. I'm trying, I'm trying, brother. I like in the grass. Trying to wriggle brother. I'm making the grass. Trying to wriggle out, I'm making the grass. Shout out to the two crew trying to get out of them skeleton arms and a one, the elves stay stuck.
Starting point is 00:37:55 Oh, now they're like kind of on our side because we need them to win. That is the Necromancer team's turns. They're up in the cubby with me. A couple of them are. The two guard dudes are down fighting. One guy fails to get out of the skeleton arms and another guy fails to get out of the skeleton arms.
Starting point is 00:38:13 These are tough skeleton arms. If we've seen a lot of bones and these are big bones. These are this skeleton, whatever giant monster skeleton is the source of these arm bones has been drinking a lot of milk. So take from that what you will. No osteoporosis there. I think the giant monster skeleton is the source of these arm bones has been drinking a lot of milk. So take from that what you will. No osteoporosis there.
Starting point is 00:38:28 Mimvious. The other two are up in the cubby with moonshine. And moonshine. True. Go ahead and give me a persuasion check. 11. I'm just going to say I'm my I book it I got some other issues to deal with. Munchan as this dude talks go ahead and give me an insight check and just
Starting point is 00:38:53 to be clear it's the death night talking the Necromancer has been quiet. Nat one. Nat one. Okay you don't pick up anything. He goes, and you'll just leave us the thinking cap. You know what, why don't you attack me? I don't want to commit to anything. You hear him go, very well, you have tricked me before. And you see he pulls his mask up, and you see the black face wraps of Akarad's prime body. And he goes, I won't underestimate you this time.
Starting point is 00:39:29 He's going to cast a banishment on you. Go ahead and give me a charisma saving throw. Oh. You guys just know everybody. Who is that? Okay. Well, my dad kind of works for him. It's a really long story, but he sucks.
Starting point is 00:39:48 He's kind of like Rin, but like Super Evil. Got it. Say no more, say no more. I got it. Oh, same page, okay. He's not quite as bad as Rin. Wait, why are people saying I suck? Man, just listen to yourself.
Starting point is 00:40:00 Uh-huh. Be more like your dancing friends. I got a net one Can I counter spell it? What what levels counter spell third? I will it's it is a third, but can I cast it? Uh? Cast it if you okay you the spell My god Oh, oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. My next book in gear is gonna have counterspelling that rules.
Starting point is 00:40:30 I got, I caught me up and I knew I had to do that. I'm so glad I can help. Oh gosh, it's so good having a sorcerer in our party. Oh my God. What is banishment? You see Maveris counters the spell as Akarot's giving this cool speech and reached out to you. And it just doesn't work and he goes, I'm sorry, you cast him.
Starting point is 00:40:52 What's happening to your spell you don't do? What's happening to your spell you don't do? This really doesn't work. This isn't super epic. Here's another weird thing. Are you a grown man coming to compete in a college tournament? It's not, how old are you? I'm 28. How old do you think I am? Honestly. Look are you? I'm 28.
Starting point is 00:41:05 How old do you think I am? Honestly. Look at me, I'm beautiful. You see my beautiful. I'm guessing you're 40s. You see, on the Necromancer's turn, the Necromancer is going to reach in, grab the thinking cap, and put it on.
Starting point is 00:41:24 And he is going to need to do an intelligence saving throw to be able to use it. He rolls a NAT7. You see this dude in an iron mask with a black cloak reaches in, grabs the thinking cap, this brass crown with all this like clockwork machinery, puts it on his head, and you see he cringes and reacts and takes it off and just holds it in his hand. That is actually, that's moonshine's turn, but I forgot to have Ren go, so Ren was just kind of scared. I'm still here.
Starting point is 00:41:57 I guess I'll just keep casting cone of cold. This fiend saves, but Ren's gonna do a big 16 damage to it. Here you go, Ren. Every little bit counts. Ren, focus it up. I'm trying. Ah! Do it for Zander. Ren, we're like, Roon for you at this point, okay? Mochain, that's your turn.
Starting point is 00:42:21 We're gonna work through this. Y'all, you think I should go stop the gnomes? Or should I try and get this thinking cap? Stop the gnomes, we could be on the same side, you and I. Ah, I would never be on your side. I know what your father did to Meribale. Oh yeah? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:39 And so I'm not gonna fucking be on your side. All right, I reach for the thinking cap. Sweet, go ahead and make a strength contest. I cannot cast enhanceability on myself. I'm gonna say to, in order to grapple something out of somebody's hand, you're gonna need to do an action. All right, then I'm gonna bonus action go into a rage. Okay.
Starting point is 00:42:58 And try and grapple that. All right. Oh my God, this dude's so weak. He got a three, which turns into a two. So he just puts on. All right, I fucking take it. Mochan, you grab that, you grab, you put it on your head.
Starting point is 00:43:13 Oh my God. Mochan, you instantly are overwhelmed by the sound of thousands of voices. Go ahead and give me an intelligence saving throw. Net 20! Yeah, bitch! Oh my god. I'm looking right. I'm looking at Acro out licking my lips completely on face by what should drag me crazy.
Starting point is 00:43:37 Moonshine, at first you put the crown on and you are overwhelmed by the sounds of all these crazy voices. Just, and then you hear the voice of your father in your head. You carry the pride of the elves with you. And then you hear all of the whispers change. They go, sister, like this, sister, like this. They all start talking and giving you advice. Moonshine, right off the bat, this is going to automatically bring your intelligence up to 19 if you have lower than 19 intelligence.
Starting point is 00:44:11 So you have a plus for doing that. I think I have an 11 at home. Did you have lower than 19? So this brings your intelligence up to 19 automatically. While you're wearing it, you have a proficiency in our conna. You can use telekinesis at will, like as an action, to things that aren't being worn or carried.
Starting point is 00:44:29 So you can't rip it out of somebody's hand, but you could grab something from across. You essentially have the force and star wars. And you can attempt to cast a spell from the cap, so it doesn't require your concentration. It's like the cap's concentration. And also it doesn't use up one of your spell slots, but it has to be something you already know.
Starting point is 00:44:52 But in order to do that, the DC equals 10 plus the spells level. And if you fail, it fizzles. And if you fail by five or more, backfires and hurts you. So it's a dangerous, powerful relic. And you would use your wisdom. Use my wisdom.
Starting point is 00:45:07 Because that would be, that's your spell casting modified. Is that like a save? That would be a save. No, it's like a check. It's just a check. It's like a wisdom check. Oh, but we have advantage on wisdom checks right now.
Starting point is 00:45:17 Yes. And we do. Wow. Yummy. What a good piece. So Mooshine, you fucking. So thinking about that dinner from last night. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:26 You own these devils and then you put the crown on and it's totally working for you. Hey, Agarai, how I look, huh? You look stunning. You must come with me to hell. Let me take you to hell. Honestly, there's kind of a hot way. You said that.
Starting point is 00:45:44 You take you to hell, girl. Can I, a way. You said that. You said that. You said that. You said that. You said that. You said that. You said that. You said that. You said that.
Starting point is 00:45:52 You said that. You said that. You said that. You said that. You said that. You said that. You said that. You said that.
Starting point is 00:46:00 You said that. You said that. You said that. You said that. You said that. You said that. You said that. You said that. You said that. with you and then blow him a little kiss but it's a spores. Yes. Spores him for some poison. He's immune to poison damage. All right. So sorry.
Starting point is 00:46:09 I just blow a kiss at him and he doesn't know what it means. But at this point, do you think we know he's? You're probably saying that. I definitely can like report spores you guys and be like, y'all I'm staring at Akarot. What? But the cap looks good, does it not? Oh, it's awesome.
Starting point is 00:46:25 Oh, it's awesome. Absolutely, very fierce, yeah. So as a legendary action at the end of your turn, goat fiend is going to reach up and do chill touch on you, Moonshine. Seize you with the crown. That's my Giverbock. That's a 22 to hit.
Starting point is 00:46:43 So that's gonna hit. And that's 11 damage on the chill touch, and you can't be healed. That is Beverly's turn. Okay, I'm reports boring with Moonshine. That's Akira up there? Yeah. Hold in there. I think I gotta get to the throne.
Starting point is 00:46:59 Why don't you just come up here? All right, I'm going up there. Oh, right, yeah, yeah. Actually, here's what I wanna do. Okay, I want to... You're stuck right now in the skeleton arms. All right, yeah, actually here's what I want to do. Okay. I want to your stuck right now in the skeleton arms All right. Well, first of all I want to wriggle out. I say to my two new Elden friends French fry in the rain And I start wriggling
Starting point is 00:47:14 Sweet, um, go ahead and make you can do um Dexter's Tranks Tranks probably better for you. Yep That's a nine You wriggle through like it the thumb pointer finger bones, then just fall between the middle finger and the thumb bone. Can I take a bonus action? Ah, sure. I'm going to go ahead, uh, thinking forward and cast, uh, Hunter's Mark, which is a bonus action on Akarot.
Starting point is 00:47:35 Okay. And that's just going to give me extra damage on him when I see him. Okay. Cool. Great. Baller. I see you, boy. Look at all my dad. You're going gonna die if you don't focus up.
Starting point is 00:47:47 Think about it. I'm focused all the time. Everything on me is clenched always. Okay, the fiend is once again going to, I think the tail, he can't hit Moonchen because he's too far up and he can't move as a legendary action, so just gonna make another chill touch attack, hits for 17 damage this time. Timunchang, Timunchang. That is back around to the layer action. You see for this thing's layer action hold is won over, points it at zander and you see zander rises
Starting point is 00:48:21 as an undead zombie cool. Ren, we got good news in bad news. Oh no! Zander! And you see Zander goes forward and is going to attack Ren. Oh, this is so sad. It's too cruel for even me. What is this?
Starting point is 00:48:36 This is a bad prank. Bad prank hits Ren for 10. Ren for 10 from his friend. Ren for 10. That is Maveris's turn. Mavis has had it. Mavis has been saving this. This is what he's been waiting for.
Starting point is 00:48:53 He finally has. This is what you have been training for. This is what I have, this is entirely what Mavis has not been training for. So Mavis is going to use disintegrate his six level spell with twin spell. So I use seven sorcery points to test it at two different targets. So I'm going to cast it at the monster, the fiend, and I'm going to cast it at Akira.
Starting point is 00:49:18 And so that does 10d6 plus 40. That's fucking incredible Get this man some I need four Go for me, 6 You will honor us This is my fucking 2x5 Twin spell
Starting point is 00:49:32 Keep it Can I live it? To it for Gladehole Maverus Oh shut the fuck up What? I give you my power Zander get off me Uh-huh Both gonna take 28 plus 40 damage
Starting point is 00:49:44 38 68 damage And it on a failed save Oh, oh, oh! Both gonna take 28 plus 40 damage. What? Six-de-eight! Six-de-eight damage. And it on a failed save. Okay, oh, it's a austerity saving throw. So, Godfiend's gonna make a roll. That's an 18.
Starting point is 00:49:56 My spell save, DC is 17. Okay, so he's gonna take half, and Akraot has magical resistance, so he's gonna roll with advantage. He failed the first one He passes the second one with a With a 17 it's still a fuck ton of damage. Yeah, a lot of damage Maybe I should have gone to class guys. How much is it? It was 68 so 68 halves so 34
Starting point is 00:50:18 That's still you did 34 damage to it from fucking guys. I don't want to talk about it 34 damage to two different fucking guys. I don't want to talk about it Mavericks that fucking rule mavericks you did so much damage and you also got to go to the pool yesterday So I feel like it's a pretty good win. Also you counter spelled a fucking banishment. I'll take it You know what mavericks I might have to reconsider my like ideas about thinking that T-flings are just kind of freaks, huh? Zander is punching you in the face are just kind of freaks, huh? Zander is punching you in the face. Oh, my friend, we love to go, what's more freaky, right? We love it for people together.
Starting point is 00:50:49 What's more freaky? You're just like laughing for people? Yeah, I mean Zander. All right, now I'm happy, Zander. Now I understand why you laugh at weird times. You just have a bad sense here. You see, you see the two nights, we're not like that. We just love the arts, the form.
Starting point is 00:51:04 See? You didn't stop it. we just want to protect the rich people. Listen, I know what it's like to be friends with people who are rich and who suck, okay? Just cut them some slack. They're part of the problem and they have to die too, Bev. Maybe you're right. At the end of Maverick's turn, this thing is just once more going to take a chill touch at Moonshine. Oh, misses.
Starting point is 00:51:28 Down to the two crew. Thank you to a pro. Too hot in your chill touch. That is gnome team's turn. What are they up to? Well, at least it's not rolling a dice. Oh, you're all the dice. That is hard one's turn. Hard one, you are at the door.
Starting point is 00:51:49 You can hear coexas fighting downstairs. You also see this giant fiend going after moonshine up in the cubbies right next to Akarat and an Akarmancer. And your other friends, except for Mavericks, are all caught by fucking bone people. I do a weird wink at moonshine, which is more of a blink. You got this, a side-wit. I understand it, fully understand it.
Starting point is 00:52:14 A crooked thumbs up at Dev. Hang in there, bud. Absolutely. I meant to do this. And I say, Ren, come with me if you want to live. Oh, okay. I jumped on the you want to live. And I, okay. I jumped down the ladder and I jumped down the shoot and I look at Bebs' Amulet.
Starting point is 00:52:31 Sweet, too. As I leave. Bonus action, look at Bebs' Amulet. Great. Go ahead and heal yourself up for that. Hard one, you run over to the steps, lightning quick. Stomp on the step 19 times, drop down the shoot, you land with a thud on the stone floor of this eerie secret basement, which apparently isn't
Starting point is 00:52:52 that well kept of a secret because there's no knew about it somehow. You see the room is lit with a green glow from this all-caster apparatus, but it's only a backdrop to a cluster fuck of activity here. You see, Kuwixis is roaring with fury fighting against three of the clockwork Templars. You see these big bulky machines with giant swords. They're in like a defensive stance, kind of blocking the hallway. And you see behind them, it looks like there are a series of magic barriers, almost like the ones from the cubbies, but to prevent somebody from coming down here. But it looks like she's making her way down the short hallway, trying to get to this apparatus. And it looks like she's dispelled at least a couple and there might be only one or two more
Starting point is 00:53:45 before she can get to this apparatus. So hard one, you get down here. I'm gonna say you are at the door, you don't even need to do a, you're not gonna have enough movement to get all the way to her, but you can like attack a Templar or something if you want. Or you can make some other kind of action.
Starting point is 00:54:01 Is calling my dwarf that is an action? It is. Great. I'm gonna take the Queen's Hammer and say, Gemma, I know you're busy with some new guy, but can you send the Dwarf Daddy's? I just wanna talk to them. I'm not bothering you.
Starting point is 00:54:19 It takes a really long time to get a reply. Oh yeah, hard one, of course. Hey! Hey, no big, no big. Could you hear from you? Yes, just kind of busy. I know, yeah, I know how it is. I'm really busy down here too.
Starting point is 00:54:40 Lots of... My half-elf son, rather. The Dwarven Daddy's pop-dies pop up all no dragon fighting robots Little no-moment running away. Yes, the little no-moment. Yeah, the wrong the no-moment running away is bad news We get her Tee he she thinks he to you everything is funny, but it's not That is the fiend's turn is the fiend's turn. On the fiend's turn, I don't know how much HP you have left after everything that's been done, but the fiend is going to
Starting point is 00:55:16 try and cast Powerward Kill on you. Do you have less than 100 hit points? No, I don't. I have more than 100 hit points because of symbi don't. I have more than 100 hit points. Because of symbiotic entity, because of Babs' inspiring speech, because of the fucking feast last night. Oh, factors.
Starting point is 00:55:32 My God, you see the same energy that killed Zander. You see spits these ancient words into the air that then break and go into your body and you're able to just spit them back out with your symbiotic entity. A surprise bitch, I know how to read now. I'm bossable. I'm so proud of you, moonshine. Oh, that is...
Starting point is 00:55:59 Thank you for your inspiring speech, Bev. Thank you for those wonderful credits. Truly, I'd be dead without it. That is the elves turn. They are going to... Antelope in the Valley. It's Lope in the Valley. They try to get out, not one, other one at six.
Starting point is 00:56:20 They stay stuck. Ren. Fly in the spider web. Ren is gonna disengage from, no, he'll take a hit from Xander. Xander, ow! Xander rolls a nat one, just falls. There's drooling zombie high-elf, just on the ground.
Starting point is 00:56:37 Honestly, it's an improvement. Ren runs off to follow hard one, get into the doorway, and you hear him, yeah hard one go ahead and give a perception check 21 21 you vaguely hear him upstairs yelling through the tower going where did you go 19 times stop 19 times 19 times where just stop on up on the floor. How do you know this? I'm a noble high up. Oh Are you laughing or having a panic having a bit?
Starting point is 00:57:15 Hard one suddenly you hear 19 steps and Ren crashes on top of you. Oh catch me and crashes on top of you. Oh, catch me! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, We must we must silence it forever all our greatest enemies together in one place Devils noems so this Man he tried to power word kill you and he couldn't do it and now he's just stuck down there who's near him All he can do he can't move with the legendary action. So he's just gonna chill touch him. Don't you know chill? It's me. Nobody said me She's got the she's got the crown. She's got the crown. All he cares about is the crown.
Starting point is 00:58:07 No. That's a fucking natural three he misses. Yeah. So he misses, that is the devil team, these death night guys that are caught in the bones are going to take attacks on the elves that are stuck there with them. What?
Starting point is 00:58:25 This is low, even for you, Akarot. These more of your nasty hollow bodies. They're just being smart. Damn something you would know nothing about young Beverly. I Feel like your dad had a talking to you and you're acting like a whole different person now. Oh, I'm not underestimating you this time I brought you my real body, my beautiful body. You see, he unwraps his bandages. And you see, through all of this crazy arcane experimentation to have been able to like inhabit other bodies and stuff,
Starting point is 00:58:55 he has just big parts of his face missing, like his entire nose is completely caved in. You see his eyes are still there and the skin around that, but one of his ears is fully off, but the other one has like the pointed ears of like a high L for a half L. And his jaw is just kind of like skeletal. Yeah, I could see you not having a lot of selfies
Starting point is 00:59:18 on your bumble throw file. Why is quiet from the basement, basement boy, you can't see me. Bed reports, board minutes, or they describe every. Hard one. He looks like real butt. He looks real bad.
Starting point is 00:59:29 He looks like dead eye, but worse. This, so these guys that are stuck together in these bone arms have hit one of the champions for 40 damage. And then the other guy's gonna go three times and hits twice. And Bev, you see one of your friends there starting to look pretty hurt.
Starting point is 00:59:57 Caterpillar in the glade. I'm trying, I'm trying. I'm trying, my friend, I'm trying. Akurat is going to go ahead and go at moonshine here. He is going to cast staggering smite. You guys are hanging from these cubbies climbed up on the wall. So it's a bonus action and then the next time he hits, it takes effect.
Starting point is 01:00:22 So it takes one swing with his long sword and that's a 20 to hit. That's definitely gonna hit. We're trying to take 37 damage and go ahead and give me a wisdom saving throw. I'll do that with advantage, thanks to my friends. I'll do that with advantage. He'll make his second attack against you
Starting point is 01:00:40 and with third attack hits. I got a 20 for my wisdom save. Okay, cool. And then third attack does 27 damage got 20 for my wisdom save. Okay, cool. And then third attack does 27 damage to you. How you doing? You were at 100 plus 4, so. The Necromancer is going to hold a hand up and do blight to you, Moonshine.
Starting point is 01:00:57 I'll do a fourth level countersaur. Oh god, okay. Yeah, you fizzle at your save and Moonshine's ass up here. Yeah, nice. Awesome, you become fizzle at your saving moonshine's ass up here. Yeah, nice awesome. You're you become my water guys Leave her alone Neffrit she doesn't want to talk to any stop white stop white nighting Neffrit don't you get it by not going to class you become a master of cancelling spells School's cancel
Starting point is 01:01:21 Cancelling spells. School's cancel. Is it Moonshine's turn yet? At the end, the devils turn, the goat fiend is going to, chill touch, Moonshine. We're trying to douse her spirits. That's a 22 to hit, so that is going to hit 19 damage. A pittance. I need to be healed by this one.
Starting point is 01:01:42 A very large pittance. Moonshineine that is your turn Don't forget my amulet is yeah, you can't be here's what I want to do. Yeah, I want to Jump from the cubby using my telekinesis to get the horn of Valhalla blowing it on my way down into the throne and say protect me goes pirates. Yes, that's so good. That's fucking dope. I'll say for the perp like telekinesis, I'll say that you can move yourself to a certain extent.
Starting point is 01:02:16 So I'll say that you're able to, yeah, soften your fall because you're jumping like 50 feet down. So yeah, you jump down, controlling your rate of falling as you pull the horn of Valhalla towards you. Assume you guys just have the bag with you because you wouldn't leave all of your stuff with somebody else. Moonshine, you blow the horn. Go ahead and roll 2D4 plus 2, I believe. See how many ghost pirates show up to help you. Berserkers essentially. Seven. Seven, okay, you see seven ghost pirates come up and rally around you. You are, you're our captain now. Yeah, well, Stavriol, go fight for me. Oh no, it's a giant ghost.
Starting point is 01:02:58 It's a giant ghost. And then do they get to all take around? Yeah, they can go after the big beast and attack, or they can go after some more guys, oh no, there's ghost pirates. You know, this is gonna be a good start. We're good? Okay, can they all link arms around and like protect me from?
Starting point is 01:03:14 This dude is like a giant, so he's gonna be able to get over them around them. He also has magic, so it's kinda tough. All right, fuck up that giant. You see all the ghost pirates run forward, go ahead and make a text, go ahead and make a text for them. They're all going in reckless. Whoo!
Starting point is 01:03:29 That makes sense. They're pirates. They're already dead. There's a 14 hit. Does not. There's a 24 hit. Yes. Net 20!
Starting point is 01:03:39 Oh, 20 nice. Shit. Good rolls. Which pirate was that? That one's the captain now. That was brawn. Brawn the brave. Does a 26 hit?
Starting point is 01:03:51 Yes, spelled a third way. Does a 21 hit? It does. Yeah. 2 net one, that's gonna be failure. I don't want. Another net 20! Nice! And we have a new captain. So much on how many of them hit? 2 net one, that's gonna be failure. I don't want. Another net to one, A.
Starting point is 01:04:05 Nice! And we have a new captain. So much on how many of them hit? Five hit, two crit. That's amazing. Yeah. But we'll just roll all the damage at once. Yeah, they all charge in on this big old dude.
Starting point is 01:04:19 Okay, that's gonna be 72. Oh my god, these ghost pirates swarm this giant goat fiend. Baaah, to go away! Yeah, pop-off, get in there too! Me, me, me, me! Go ahead and make an attack with pop-off. These guys are tearing up this beast. Pop-off's not having a good day, 12 gonna hit me!
Starting point is 01:04:41 Not gonna do it. Pop-off is bites a piece of him. And it just the flesh comes off and he starts chewing on it and he just starts yacking. He just starts throwing up. Me. Me. Never since that thing where you see someone else's dog
Starting point is 01:04:55 doing something and you're like, that's probably wrong. I'm like, is he okay that he has that in his mouth? Is that okay? That's okay. Yeah, that's fine. He's eating worse. He's been elevated.
Starting point is 01:05:05 All right, at the end of Munchine's turn, this dude's just gonna whack some of these ghosts with his tail, because he's mad. And he hits, and he's going to do 30 damage with a tail attack. Okay. Still standing. So first ghost.
Starting point is 01:05:22 How much HP did that have? 67. We got some 30 berserkers. First of all, 60. 60. 60. BV boys. BV boys are these ghosts.
Starting point is 01:05:32 The goat fiend is looking pretty messed up. You see just organs and fat are just falling out of its open stomach. Beverly, that's your turn. You're stuck with your friends, the two death knights and the two champions. What should we do now? We must, onion ring in the French fries?
Starting point is 01:05:53 No, we must do the invisible hot dog, and I cast Misty Steps. Beverly disappears. You were just fully out of the skeleton. A bun, but no hot dog. I should have done that last turn. I just remembered that I could do that. So now I'm out.
Starting point is 01:06:13 I'm within range of the big goat fin, right? Big goat fin is, yeah, he's, he was just up at the cubby's trying to get moonshine down. Moonshine hopped over his head, got down to the throne, and he's just turned around trying to get to her. You can run to him, certainly. Well, moonshine, you want me to finish this guy off? Yeah, yeah, fuck him up there.
Starting point is 01:06:29 Alright, here we go. Um. You smite that little piece of shit. It's smite and time. I actually, I say that again, but Latter-Sarbrunken here, it's smite and time. What do we think? Smite and Dovels. Uh, does 19 hit?
Starting point is 01:06:40 19 does not hit. Oh. Alright. I'm gonna true strike on this one, so you can find this. Jovils. Does 19 hit? 19 does not hit. Oh, all right. I'm gonna true strike on this one, so you can find this. Okay, 23 hits. Great, nice, cool.
Starting point is 01:06:53 Yeah. 34 damage. Cheese, super, super hurt. Still standing there. Still standing there. Not looking good at all though. I should have done a blinding, Smite. All right, that is back around to the Lair Action.
Starting point is 01:07:08 The goat fiends did not use this last time, so it can once again use the Lair Action Power Word Kill. You see, Lyft's head up to the ceiling, lets out an echoey death-bleat at moonshine. Moonshine. moonshine. I'm below 100. No, no, what? moonshine.
Starting point is 01:07:32 I guess I go down. You hear him let out this death bleat. Can I counter-spell it? Yeah, you can try. It's a nine-level spell, so it's a DC-19 against your spell casting modifier. So you basically do, if you have a plus five, that's charisma, right?
Starting point is 01:07:53 Yeah, so this is plus five. So you need to get a 14 or higher to stop this powerward kill on Moonshine and stop her from dying immediately. Oh. No pressure. Oh. Just roll the wheel. No matter what happens, you really gonna look it out from your immediately. No pressure. Just roll no well.
Starting point is 01:08:05 No matter what happens, you really have to look it out from your head. 18. Oh. Once again, Maverick's the unschooled to flex this fucking demon monster. Can't get a spell off this this demigod That rules part of another plane
Starting point is 01:08:30 And he is gambling not kill cannot kill this craicire Absolutely cannot kill this craic elf he's in and maver sets your turn away from my friend dude Never someone make love. Oh protect your friends I Branded never someone make love I'm protecting your friends. I You guys mean to say that in like a private report Sorry, I never hear that. Oh me sex is not private It's kind of good point for me too. Yeah, nice Same I'm gonna come up from the basement and let's talk about sex and how awesome it is. Yeah, I'd love to talk about
Starting point is 01:09:06 Fornication, oh I'm done here with a freaking obvious version. How did he hear us? Hard, but did you put him on the floor? Okay, Marissa's team. I feel like Marissa's had it and is well, he's had it a couple of times I think Marissa's gonna do a fifth level fireball on the fucking coast. Oh, fireball. Damn, and that over.
Starting point is 01:09:32 I don't believe well, one hand counterspell with the other hands. Fireburn. And I can do that's fine. And your draconic lineage lets you get past his resistance. Yeah, ignore resistance on it. So he does pass, so he's only gonna take half,
Starting point is 01:09:49 but he is on Death's door, Maveris, so go ahead and roll your damage or fire a ball. Okay. I said, I already said I'm doing it at fifth level, so I'm fucking, okay. Maveris looks around. He's looking for his Frisbee, can it? Yeah, go ahead and do a perception check to find your Frisbee with advantage,
Starting point is 01:10:07 because you're on a roll right now. It's 15 and up to find her Frisbee. 15? Maveris, you find, is it a plate or is it your Frisbee? It might be your Frisbee. Only one way to find out. Maveris picks up whatever your Frisbee and uses it to channel his fireball.
Starting point is 01:10:28 And like a Frisbee, like a just an ultimate toss, cast a fifth level fireball, which means that it's not gonna be 86, it's gonna be 10-de-six. Yeah, it's ain't Frisbee, it's an ultimate Frisbee. Take mine, please. So, overall, 41. Maveris, finish.
Starting point is 01:10:53 Let's go. Yeah. Yeah. Maveris holds the Frisbee. He does the pivot foot that people here play ultimate. It's like he's gonna throw it somewhere else. And then, looks at the goat fiend and says, you don't fucking know what chaos is.
Starting point is 01:11:11 That's right. Fucking hell, yeah, just. Frisbee, flaming Frisbee, clean, cuts through his head. Cut just head off. Y'all thought Captain America had a cool disc. I thought it falls down, bursts into the green smoke from which it came.
Starting point is 01:11:31 You see the skeletal hands that were holding the Elven champions and the lesser death knights fall away. Be free. Oh my God. And you guys. That was some MVP level shit. You guys are just left in this room now. I'm gonna talk about it.
Starting point is 01:11:45 I wish I left in this room now with the other teams. Gosh, I wish Carl was here to do this. With the other teams, who started it? He's a solid dude, but we don't, it's fine. I can tell him later. So now we cut down to the gnome team. So a hard one, you are down there with the red. Fuck those.
Starting point is 01:12:00 You see this little gnome wizard lady, she's got this starry cloak on. You can kind of barely see her in the shadow of the hallway, trying to get to this apparatus room. You can see it looks like there's one barrier left, keeping her out of there. It looks like she's gone through the other ones. You see the clockwork Templars, these big beefy dudes,
Starting point is 01:12:23 are blocking it so Quixis can't get to her. It looks like they're pretty singed. Like they've taken some fire damage and stuff. Like Quixis have been using his breath weapon. They both look pretty beat up. But you do see that she is going to try to dispel magic on the barrier. I cast the counter spell.
Starting point is 01:12:46 Do I have that one? Wait, actually, I could do that if you want. Fuck off, friend. Do you know how I'm encountering? No, do it, actually. Okay, boom. But like put your hands in front of hard one so it looks like he's doing it.
Starting point is 01:13:00 I'll say, you know what, I'm gonna have her do a perception check to see if she saw like, Ren come down and clocked him and knew that a wizard was there, because otherwise she's just gonna cast a regular one, and the counter-spellor work. Literally, she rolled in at one. She doesn't know Ren is down here, she just hears some idiot giggling. She goes to cast to spell magic, and Ren counters spells it. And you see the barrier stays up, and she turns around and she goes like, what, who
Starting point is 01:13:25 did this? Teahee? I defied the goddess. Teahee and Red. It's me, Red. Finding on behalf of Glade Home with my friend. What is your name, ugly little half-elf? Oh, shit, Red. Now you're actually being hilarious. Renegade. Teahhee, I am the goddesses. Archwizard, and I will not be defeated. Teehee. That you see, I'm not gonna roll for the Templars and the Dragon, they're just going back and forth, but, you know, Quixis is yelling down the hall.
Starting point is 01:13:56 No one's allowed back there. Stop, stop this. You know, if I go back there real quick, just to stop her, I will offer you a day pass. Yeah. Sweet. If I go back there real quick just to stop her. I will offer you a day pass. And sweet. I'm gonna superman down the dragon's back down the hallway. Sweet, yeah hard one that's your turn.
Starting point is 01:14:12 I use the dragon as a slide to send me down the hallway. I said Flintstone it. Kuik's turn's around. That would be fine with me. Just remember to take the pass. Cool, and to a little hall pass. As you run along his back, a slide down his neck.
Starting point is 01:14:28 You see he lifts his head up so that you can clear the Templars, go ahead and give me an athletics check. These dudes. These Templars have a defensive stance so they get opportunity attacks if you pass them, but if you succeed wildly on your athletics check, they'll have disadvantage. I got a 27 27 will do it will fucking Fred my dude. They're gonna roll with disadvantage first guy misses
Starting point is 01:14:56 Do style baby? Hits you a lot of T. He's and the abadabadoos down there Tee-hee's and the Abadab adoos down there. You guys should honestly turn off your reports. Oh, oh, oh, oh. You kind of have to be right. So I'm pulling a palakant's mouth to make this. I love the Flintstones. I don't know what to say guys.
Starting point is 01:15:16 I think I think I'm friends with Ren now. Ren loves the Flintstones. Come on. Tee-hee, I enjoy the Flintstones. Specifically the boss character, Teehee. Mr. Slate? Mr. Slate, he's my favorite Teehee. I love to work for him.
Starting point is 01:15:32 That's why you're really, was that like you're really doing good work down there? Mr. Slate looks like a gnome. It's hard one, you take 15 damage by one of the Templars that scratches your butt cheek as you jump over them. A hard one you do land and I will allow you to still take an action if you'd like to attack or something. Awesome.
Starting point is 01:15:53 Do my dwarf daddy's attack anybody on this round too? Oh yeah. The dwarf daddy's yes, once they enter the space for the first time, so these three dudes are gonna roll, two of them save, and the mage lady passes. Okay. Teehee, I'm not afraid of ghosts, I also enjoy Scooby Doo. Teehee.
Starting point is 01:16:11 My dorked daddies are still tired from their hot tub, they rolled a four on their bed. What an amazing city, so many cartoons. Real Hannah Barbarra fan. Renn does kind of sound, is that snagopus? That's like, oh, it kind of sounds like that happens to muggy guys exactly it's
Starting point is 01:16:28 I love snaggle plus oh I can't love snaggle plus I love him he's so funny I can't know Beth love snaggle plus I love Jeroopy the dog hard fun
Starting point is 01:16:40 I don't go and take a taxi I alright you fucking know him you shouldn't have messed with me and my best friend. Teehee. What is your name? It's like I remember it. You want to, my name?
Starting point is 01:16:50 Yes, before I kill you. You want to know my name before you kill me? Teehee. What's, sorry. I just can't understand your, My name is Lilith Lattrix. Teehee. Lilith Lattrix?
Starting point is 01:17:01 Teehee, yes. Ha, ha. Hard one, sure of foot. And I have a feeling I'm gonna have the last Tee he this is your last chance to walk away I swing my queen tamer I Hit twice. That's a 27 and a 29. Okay, those two are gonna hit or 28 and 29. Yep. Cool 28 damage on the first yikes 28 damage on the first? Yikes!
Starting point is 01:17:23 This mage doesn't love that. Ow, I do not love it. This is like playing golf. Teehee. What's your, uh, what's your thing with names, by the way? Why do you want to know who I am? Because you're messing with the goddesses master plan, and should I not have time to finish you off
Starting point is 01:17:39 after my prime objective? I'll need to come back and finish you off, Teehee. What's the, what's the goddesses master plan? Teehee. As if I would ever tell you, Teehee. What's the gott- what's the gott- what's the gott- this is a master plan? Teehee. As if I would ever tell you Teehee. I feel like you say Teehee at the end of your sentences because you're like kind of insecure about who you- I send a lot of text to you. Oh, he's right! So whenever I text my ex-girlfriend, I'll be like, what are you up to? Ha ha.
Starting point is 01:17:58 Right, I feel like that sort of just- it's like a self-protection mechanism. I just want you to be more confident in who you are. Anyway, I'm gonna use my actions here. I'm just gonna keep hammering. This is my hero's man. This is just upstairs going, nice. Thanks for the play by play. Okay, so that's a 29 on one. I'm gonna use a luck point to try to hit her twice.
Starting point is 01:18:20 Okay. And that's a NAP one. Yeah, I agree. But I'll hit her that one time. Okay. And that's a Natt one. Yeah, I agree. But I'll hit her that one time. Okay. 20 damage. She looks harder than Ren, but did not like being brutally attacked with a hammer, not used to it.
Starting point is 01:18:34 Cool. Ren, you do something. Oh, I'll try. Oh, hard. You make a lot of fun. That is actually. He's actually self. That is actually the elves turn. So Ren Ren will go you see Ren rushes forward next
Starting point is 01:18:48 Coix is can I run on your back And Coix just goes absolutely not you do not get a day pass oh Okay Watch out hard one. Oh, he just holds up and into criminally shoot one. He just holds up and into criminally shoot cold of cold just through the Templars and at you. Oh, you fucking asshole. I'm trying to
Starting point is 01:19:11 hit the little gnome. I was so not Fred Flintstone. But you know what she will actually counter him on this one. She will. She does have to waste a um fifth level spell to stop him, but she stops it. Uh-huh, I guess two can play at this game. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 01:19:29 Okay, I think, are you crying now? That a lines from a Flintstones episode. Snuggable session. It's a problem. Te-he. Te-he. No. So the other elves, the two champion elves
Starting point is 01:19:44 are just going to go toe-to toe to toe with these death knights. What should we use? What was that one that let you escape the bones, brother? Ah, you must try the condiment jar. The condiment jar, I'll swing around. Like I'm opening a jar of mayo. There you go. It became very food-based.
Starting point is 01:20:00 It started out with lots of natural imagery. Yeah, we'll get back there. One champion hit twice. They're focusing up on the same dude. Did 25 damage and the other one hit once and did 14 damage. That is the Death Knights and the Necromancer. You see Acherot still up at the cubby. Looks down at moonshine and goes,
Starting point is 01:20:28 oh no, you forgot about the cubby. And he holds his hand up. How many makes a hellfire orb in his hand? And he tosses it down at the throne. And there is an explosion of fire and necrotic energy. I'm gonna need everybody up here because you guys were all pretty close to the throne within a 20-foot sphere.
Starting point is 01:20:52 Everybody go ahead and give me dexterity saving throws. Are they close enough to get my bonus? Ooh, nat 20. Ooh, sweet. 20. Yeah, they're close enough to get your bonus. Nice, 19 for me. Oh, then 24.
Starting point is 01:21:04 Ooh, sweet. 19 for me me you guys just take half damage 64 damage total So just 32 to everybody who took half okay, um and Bev you take 15 less damage because you have um fire resistant fire. Oh, I have a half a half of it is fire So track 15 so 32 32 minus, yeah. So you two guys, so you two guys with fire resistance only take 17 because you have resistance to fire. Moon shine, you take a full 32.
Starting point is 01:21:34 32, how much of that is fire? 30 of it. Okay, I'm going to use absorb elements. And it says the spell. Is it a reaction? Yes, a reaction. It says the spell. This is the reaction. Yes, reaction. It says the spell captures some of the incoming energy lessening its effect on you and storing it
Starting point is 01:21:50 for your next melee attack. You have resistance to the triggering damage type until the start of your next turn. Also, the first time you hit with the next melee attack, it takes an extra D6. Sweet, so you just take 17 damage then. You just slurp it down like jumbolyle. Sweet, so you just take 17 damage then you just slurp it down like jumbolyo
Starting point is 01:22:15 So then you see this necromancer is gonna start climbing down from the cubbies. I'm pretty pretty laboriously. It's it's not pretty but climbs down about 20 feet to get within like 30 feet of moonshine and then is gonna cast a blight on her Can I do a counter spell on that? Ah, yes, what level? I use a fourth level counter spell. Counter's it. Ah! You're a maverick, I could use you down here.
Starting point is 01:22:38 Wow! What's going on down there by the way? Me and Ren are sort of bonding. Oh, he's kind of funny sometimes. We're not crying so damn hard, right Ren? Maverick is pissed. Yes. Yes.
Starting point is 01:22:51 But like, understands the circumstance, but it's just like quite a kind of mad. Yo, Maverick just does. Did he still turn? I'm just trying to talk about. Okay. Yeah, no, it's whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's doing better.
Starting point is 01:23:07 So then the other two death nights that are engaging with the champions here, I am going to, okay, one of the champions is pretty hurt because they failed their saving throw with the Dex check. So they're pretty messed up. So the first one is gonna, you know what, gonna go all out. Gonna do a branding smite and then attack.
Starting point is 01:23:31 Three times, hits on the first attack, misses on the second attack, hits on the third attack. That's 39 damage total. You see one of the high-eal then champions gets cut down by this death. No, you should have used a defensive flourish. Don't give her no tips on tiptoe. Don't blame her for dying.
Starting point is 01:23:52 No, no, in her tiptoe. Tiptoe on the log on the river. Tiptoe on the log on the river. You see this other one she starts doing like a little tiptoe. I see. She dies. No, no, no, this other one. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 01:24:03 Toral amongst the lily pets. Okay, then the other guard is, no, this other one. I don't know. Troll amongst the lily pets. OK, then the other guard is going to attack this other champion and misses on the first attack, misses on the second attack, hits on the third attack for 16 damage. So this other champion doesn't look great and doesn't feel great, but isn't dead yet. And that is Moononshine's turn. I'm going to try to cast control winds up draft so that my berserkers can run and
Starting point is 01:24:34 sort of use the wind like an elevator to get up to attack Akmeron. Okay. Maybe I should just heal myself. No, use my amulet. Do this stupid thing. Okay, yeah, I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna before they go, I'm gonna look at Bev's amulet. Sweet. I hold it up, be like, what's happening? So yeah, so one by one, they all charge towards this.
Starting point is 01:25:01 Just to avoid them. I'm gonna wear those letter tubes. Oh my god, just fly right up. Shut up and do attack Acro. Okay. Low darting them. A battle in the Cubbies. I love how organized it is here.
Starting point is 01:25:21 Can someone explain this a little more to me? This guy? Don't bother. Oh, the thing that's happening now with moonshine. Oh yeah, I feel like I was controlling wind and I created an up drift so that then the berserkers could start flying. No, no, I get it.
Starting point is 01:25:37 Never, I never run. I understand completely. It's like physics, but stupid. This fucking world. Okay, first one. Does a 23 hit it would normally But he's going to Perry and add six to his AC so it locks it for all of them just for the first one Okay, second one another 23 that hits
Starting point is 01:25:58 Pain train It's a 19 hit no I'm heavily armored Join me Mojuts We'll die in hell. So only one hits okay Hey, it's for eight. Oh my god. Oh, it's gonna fun win ride If a couple more than hit that would be really fun. Do they deploy little parachutes after? If a couple more of them had hit that would've been really fun. Do they deploy little parachutes after this?
Starting point is 01:26:24 Okay. So they probably would fall, move how much damage should they all take for falling? I would, aren't they not still up there? I don't know how up draft like really, like I don't know the exact mechanics of the fight. I would say they climbed onto the, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:26:40 Okay. And then I'm gonna look at Bev's Amulet. Okay, so you go look at your Amulet. In the meantime, Acarot is going to get serious and now that he's outed himself as Acarot is going to start using legendary actions, he's going to strike the Cubbies. Dammit, stop!
Starting point is 01:27:00 Leave the Cubbies out of this! No, I'm mad, I'm raging! And he's going to cast Destructive Wave. This actually takes two legendary actions. So I'm gonna write that down. That's good. I'm gonna do Destructive Wave. I need all of your ghosts to go ahead
Starting point is 01:27:18 and give me Constitution saving throws. Don't go after my ghost. Don't go after my ghost. Since they they were all reckless do they make their Constitution saves with like this advantage? No, it shouldn't affect Don't go 10 fails 8 fails Seven fails full 13 fails give them a break Seven. Fails full. 13.
Starting point is 01:27:46 Fails. Give them a break. 11. Fails. She is this. Eight. Which I'd lie about one. What's happening? Nine.
Starting point is 01:28:01 Fails. There should be more numbers on that dice. That was... Real sad. They all take 39 damage. Okay, all of them, one of them dies. Alright, he... They don't really die. They just go back into the horn, right?
Starting point is 01:28:18 Yeah, they are. We live in the horn. It's a bad life. That's like death being in the horn. Sort of. Okay. It's a bad life. That's, that's like death being in the horn. Sort of. Okay. Oh, it's a sad life. But what about, how does it feel when saliva gets blown
Starting point is 01:28:30 on you when we blow the horn? You are, but I don't love it, but I don't hate it. I'm not getting a lot from these ghosts. Sweet, one of them disappears. The other six look super hurt. That is Beverly's turn. All right, okay. Akarot's still clashing on the cubby.
Starting point is 01:28:50 Akarot is still up by the cubby. Messing up them ghosts, you see two death knights are fighting this one champion who's looking pretty hurt. I want to activate my Yippee Skippy boots, and then just run as fast as I can towards the updraft and try and flash up the wall, and then I'll just grab, I wanna see how far I can get up,
Starting point is 01:29:14 and then I'll just try and find purchase with my hands. Sweet, go ahead, and I guess just give me an athletics check. But you can give it with advantage. We'll say moonshine's kind of helping you, because I'll say with a thinking cap, even if this air is supposed to go away, it hovers for a split second longer. Moonshine's a hair element.
Starting point is 01:29:32 17, with the gust of air here, able to get right up to Akarat and the ghosts. Wonderful. Great, I just kind of like, what? Right up to where Akarat is and say, good to see you again. Oh, funny seeing you here, I've just hanging out with your father. I don't know what it is about you and collecting dads.
Starting point is 01:29:49 That's my thing. It actually has been my thing for a long time. Ah, well I do it better. I am going to do a second level Divine Smite. I'll save my last third level slot for any and all Revivifies that need be doing but let's go and roll some dice Okay 29 29 hits nice 31 damage on the first hit yeah, I am
Starting point is 01:30:19 The sword is glowing gray as a bonus action. I'm going to cast a vowel of inmini, which lets me get advantage on attack rolls against a foe. Can I do that now or should I've done that before? Is it a bonus action? Yeah, I'll allow it, yeah.
Starting point is 01:30:36 Cool, great. So I'm gonna roll advantage on this next attack. Sweet. 21, does that hit? 21 does hit. All right, I'll do first level smite. Oh, running out of steam young barely. That's not steam.
Starting point is 01:30:50 That's the holy gray glow that she'll banish you from this realm. Oh, I'm not getting banished anywhere. I get the thinking cap where I die here today. I'm not going back to my father, a failure again. You didn't think this through, and you don't deserve a cap for thinking. I think everything through, meticulously. Uh, it's 35 more damage. On that turn.
Starting point is 01:31:12 Wait, cool. He's still looking pretty healthy, but he doesn't like it. I do look down at the champion. And I say, I'm sorry, my friend. Old wounds. It is okay. Halfling in the cubby. It friend. Old wounds. It is okay. Halfling in the cubby. It is.
Starting point is 01:31:27 Ha ha. Stabs forward. Okay, end of your turn. Akarot is gonna take a swing on you with a sword. The bash at the clubs at the Cubs, the Cubs at the Cubby fight. Up on the wall. That's a 21 to hit.
Starting point is 01:31:43 Oh, that just hits. Okay. He is going to do it. Hub up in the cub. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah Who all is still up here? You see, the whole bad guy team is still there and this champion is getting beaten up by two death knights. Moonshine is pretty hurt and sitting on the throne. Necromancer is still there. He's climbing down the cubbies rather. Mavericks is going to use the staff of power
Starting point is 01:32:25 and just hit the Necromancer with the lighting bowl. Okay, that's a, and that is a fifth level lighting bowl. It's the Maveris magic equivalent of saying, shut up dude. So that's fifth level, so that means it's 10-D-6. And it's a jack save. Ooh. You know what? The Necromancer is going to counter it.
Starting point is 01:32:49 Oh! Wow! Okay. I handed them a D-6 to everything. Ah! Maveris! Devastating! Got to respect it!
Starting point is 01:33:00 You got to respect it! Game respects game! This episode of NAD pod is brought to you by Bird Dogs. They're a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered. Now we all know when the legwear war begins and we're forced to choose a side, it's gonna be difficult. Luckily Bird Dogs has made the decision of which pants and shorts to buy a little easier. Bird Dogs stretchy khakis are designed to fit
Starting point is 01:33:29 slimmer through the thigh and leg to give you a truly sculpted look. And instead of making their clothes out of restricting cotton, Bird Dogs invented a cloud knit fabric that looks just like khaki but stretches so you get a way slimmer fit without having to sacrifice movement. And trust me, you are going to need all the movement you can get when you and your brothers and legs are out there on the battlefield kicking the shit out of your rivals. So when the lower body battle begins and brother is forced to kick brother, make sure you are wearing bird dogs. To get yours and a free Yeti-style tumbler, go to birddogs.com slash pop-off or enter promo code pop-off at checkout.
Starting point is 01:34:07 That's birddogs.com slash pop-off or promo code pop-off for a free Yeti-style Tumblr. You won't want to take your bird dogs off, we promise you. Okay, that's it for me, go team pants and enjoy the show. Down in Nome Country, down in the little secret room. Yeehaw. Lilith Littrix looks up at you, hard one, and goes, hard one sure foot, Teehee. You've ruined everything. Haha.
Starting point is 01:34:37 Littler and I have heard that before. I had a mission, a prime objective Teehee. It's sorry, it's something funny. I don't understand. You're laughing. Yes. I can still do the prime objective, buteehee. It's sorry, it's something funny. I don't understand you're laughing, but I guess I can still do the prime objective, but it won't be as good as it was supposed to be, Teehee. I mean, yeah, great, I guess. Teehee, she holds her hands up and casts a spell
Starting point is 01:34:59 called Time Stop. And you hear, as she goes and does like the hand motions to cast a spell, you hear Ren from behind you go, oh, that one's not good. And he's going to try to counter it. But it is a it is a ninth level spell. I believe in you, Ren. I rolled a three. All right. I'm going to turn my report spores up real high. So everyone upstairs here's it. Ren, you're a fucking joke. Ha ha ha.
Starting point is 01:35:31 Nice. What? No. I'm rich and you're a half-elf. I get to make fun of you. I throw my throwing axiots. The way time stop works is I rule a D4 and she gets 1D4 plus 1 extra turns.
Starting point is 01:35:47 But you can't do anything that affects anybody or something, somebody's holding or else it breaks the spell. So I'm going to go ahead and roll in front of the table, the D4. Roll a 1. Yes! That's a 1. Yes! That's a 1. Wow! That's a one.
Starting point is 01:36:05 Wow. Two turns is all I need to he. Hard one, you see in a flash. She suddenly starts acting very quickly, starts zipping around as if in fast forward. Instantly takes out that barrier, holds it up. Looks like she did a dispel magic very quick. Goes over to the apparatus. You see these columns surrounding this
Starting point is 01:36:28 Emerald cylinder in the middle She holds her hands up to it. She looks at you as the time stop stops and the timing returns to normal Okay, okay. Hey, this isn't funny anymore. Don't don't fuck with the thing. It's very funny This is not funny. I was supposed to do this at a ninth level. Now maybe half the population might survive. Teehee, that's not what the plan was. Okay, let's not do anything, let's not do anything rash, alright.
Starting point is 01:36:54 The goddess does not want to control arcane magic. She wants to destroy it. Teehee, she casts dispel magic on the entire city. Wow, I should you lock it? Oh my god. And you guys know that the entire city is a floating island. It is held up by levitation spells. So it is not one big powerful spell that's holding it up.
Starting point is 01:37:19 It is many. So it's almost like a chain reaction. It's almost like you're building a building. And there's like, you know, like different pieces of lumber and stuff like that. So how this is going to work? I'm going to roll 10-D 20s. She's trying to dispel 9 level levitate spells. And she only got to use a regular dispel magic because she couldn't do a level 9 spell. She didn't have any left after time stop. So she needs to get a 14 or higher to beat the levitate spells. So depending on how many times she rolls a 14 or higher, that's what percentage of the city
Starting point is 01:37:53 is going to actively start collapsing. Cool. Uh-huh. Feels a little silly that we're up here. I know, now. Holy shit. Yeah. She succeeded five times.
Starting point is 01:38:09 That's 50% of the city. I'm going to need you guys to roll a pure luck check. 11 or higher, the castle is not part of the city that starts to fall. Otherwise, the castle begins to collapse. Shout out to the core four. Oh my God. Hard one, as you're trying to reason with her, you just hear a bunch of tiny explosions.
Starting point is 01:38:37 Pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, as levitate spells begin to break. And it's not like every single levitation spell that is holding up the castle broke It just begins to like lurch forward and break apart. You see like stone cracking apart and quicks Just goes no no no not like this Um, okay, Ren, so you were right. We are gonna die. What? Oh, no Hard one that is your turn. So you start to, so it takes a bit for, it's gonna take a bit for it to fall all the way
Starting point is 01:39:09 because it's not falling free fall. It's like tipping and it's gonna fall over eventually. Rounds are a matter of seconds. Also, you're wearing the ring of featherfall. Upstairs, you guys feel the whole castle begin to tip to one side and you guys start like flying up towards the ceiling a little bit. Hard one. You are falling, you're gonna be falling slower than the castle so you actually stay put at the moment. Hard one, that is your turn.
Starting point is 01:39:36 Okay, interesting. Just for fun to my door if that is just whack anybody. You can, so she has gotten away from you. You can either have them get the clockwork templates at the start of their turn, or you can run up to her again as she stands at this apparatus. I'm gonna, yeah, I'm gonna try to run up to her. Oh, cause she's just hanging out at this apparatus. I gotta, she can, she can cast,
Starting point is 01:40:02 she can't cast anything to get away until her next turn. All right, cool. I can save you and your friends if you don't wanna, Does that brat I got a she can cast she can't cast anything to get away until her next turn all right cool I can save you and your friends if you don't want to if you would leave me alive. I'll save your friends T.E. I Don't have any friends down here. I'm gonna swing my hand router. What about me? You're in Carl territory at best the 18 to hit 18 18 hits. Cool. 19 damage on the first attack.
Starting point is 01:40:28 Okay, she is extremely hurt. You see, her resolve stays the same. Blood starts coming out of her mouth as you crush her ribs with a hammer, and she looks up at you and goes, hard one sure foot. Do you think, Tehih, that the goddess will bring me back to be her arch wizard since I did to sort of succeed on the prime objective? Honestly, I hate to say it. Vikha'tis is gonna be pretty pissed.
Starting point is 01:40:53 You didn't have succeed, you fully failed. You needed to send this entire city into the ocean, right? Shout out to the two crew, I'm gonna use the luck point. Mm-hmm. Uh, 18 hit. That hits. 19 damage. Hard one finish her. Now this is going to be the only funny thing that's ever happened down here.
Starting point is 01:41:19 I grab her by the nape of the neck, drop kicker into the air and I say run now Dancing beetle in a puddle and he riggles forward and he Just hits her with like a arcane blast Gunner Both hold this finger up and blows like doing a finger gun Run I'm not gonna tell anybody upstairs that you did the finger gun thing, but that was, that wasn't bad. Oh, the castle's falling.
Starting point is 01:41:51 He starts to fly up towards the wall. So that is the else turn. You see the castle is beginning to collapse. It's about to enter a free fall. Ren is still on the other side of these Templars and can't really get past them. You see Ren Turns to Quixis and goes, oh, can you give me through there? And Quixis goes, oh God, I hate you so much. Yes, sir. Just give me a plus one. It'll be fine.
Starting point is 01:42:21 You see Quixis is going to grab Ren and is going to do a like strength check to try to burst through these Templars and get our boy Ren to the cylinder. Oh hell yeah. I'm gonna let... Okay, so the Templars are gonna roll with advantage because there's so many of them, but Quixis has a plus eight to strength. So he's trying to burst through these guys. So somebody go ahead and roll for Quixis.
Starting point is 01:43:00 Nightcreen. Damn you, I'm rolling so high. So 20 seven, they will, I I'm gonna say oh my god, okay They're gonna they'll roll with advantage I'm whispering through the rapport spores and Drake on it get through the crowd They got a nat 20 So I'm gonna say I'm gonna say oh That's gonna be a roll off as well
Starting point is 01:43:23 Let's say that's gonna be a roll off. Oh, okay, okay. That's a roll off. Because their strength is not high enough to straight up beat Quixis there. So we're gonna do a roll off. So you see Quixis is wrestling trying to get through as the Templars are stabbing into him. You see Quixis, this ancient beast is bleeding everywhere.
Starting point is 01:43:38 Let's roll off. Roll off. Okay. Well, first you guys have to strip. Hold on. All right, we're both fully naked. All right, roll the seven. Okay, they're higher one, they got a 15, they have a plus five, so they got a 20.
Starting point is 01:43:53 So you see, I'll say, since it was a struggle, Quixis is able to get down the hall a little bit, but start getting stabbed by these clockwork temp lars who are just have free reign on them in this tiny hallways completely trapped. And then Ren is going to jump off the dragon and try to run towards the cylinder, but he's going to take opportunity attacks.
Starting point is 01:44:26 All right, pass. I can fuck with red, but you guys can't fuck with red. That's a 22 to hit grin on the first attack. Ren might not even make it there. I mean, it's the death he deserves, but still 16 damage on the first attack. Second attack misses him, third attack hits him. Oh dear.
Starting point is 01:44:50 20 damage, Ren looks okay and he looks down. My own blood, what is this? Ah, ha, ha. You're, yeah, not so, yeah, you're not laughing anymore, right? Yeah, what? Ha, ha, not so, yeah, you're not laughing anymore, right? Yeah, what? Uh-huh. You see, Ren runs over to you hard one. She's the dead gnome and goes,
Starting point is 01:45:12 good job, my ugly half-elven brother. I put my forehead against Ren. Ren holds his finger up and casts levitate on the cylinder. Helly. And you guys aren't out of the woods yet because basically what happened is Half the city you know started falling for split second So all of this foundation and everything is still breaking and stuff
Starting point is 01:45:36 You can hope that maybe somebody could stop it from fully breaking. It's a Ren put a band-aid on the problem at the moment, but it's not fully saved. Upstairs, you guys had started to float up. You guys crash back down and the whole castle is just kind of creaking back and forth. And you guys don't even fully know what's going on. That is, oh, so the champion will then go. We'll anti-climb active after that. It's going to take swings on the death knights, misses on the first attack.
Starting point is 01:46:05 Three and a two. It does hit on the last one. It's gonna do 20 damage. Here you go. Two, one of these death knights. Ha ha ha ha! Ants on a log. That is the Devil team's turn.
Starting point is 01:46:19 First things first, Acherot is gonna try to get rid of these stupid ghosts and is gonna once again use destructive wave. So I'm gonna need all the ghosts and Bev to go ahead and give me a constitution saving throw. 18. 18 passes. One pass! You must lead them.
Starting point is 01:46:49 Refill your crew, Captain. I got an 11. Okay, so you are going to fail. Don't worry, you're just like all the Ghost Pirates. Or most. Dead? 41 Thunder Slash necrotic damage. He likes.
Starting point is 01:47:09 What about those who pass? Yeah, they take half. So it's a hill-take 20. We got one ghost pirate left with eight hit points. Be strong. Then, the necromancer is going to finish climbing down, run over to Moonshine, and cast Blight. I think Maverick will use his last fourth level spell.
Starting point is 01:47:37 Okay, so you're going to have to roll to beat it because he casted it at a sixth level. So you got to beat DC 16 charisma check for you. 21. Yeah. Why do you deflect this? Who's this guy? Who's the guy you're hanging out with? He's a ringer. There's the absolute two. He's our boy. That what do you care so much?
Starting point is 01:48:03 His name is Maverson. He's on school. The death the Frisbee Lord. The death knights are gonna go ahead and swing down on this one champion. Oh, um, crit. 25 damage to this one champion. Takes a second attack. hits 17 damage, as champions looking super fucked up, hits him a last attack. 12 damage, next dude is gonna go. 19 to hit, that's gonna hit. 14 damage, you see this other champion, grrrr, gets cut down. Fals. And you see this death knight is going to run forward
Starting point is 01:48:47 and charge at moonshine, take the rest of his attacks. It's gonna cast blinding smite. As a bonus action, makes his first attack. That's an 18 to hit. Doesn't hit. A. I'm 19, armor class. Wow, okay, Takes his third attack.
Starting point is 01:49:05 Natural seven misses. Big talent. Oh, all right. That is, you are the totem, the leaf. I know. That is moonshine's turn. Bring it. I am just going to cast the six level heel on myself
Starting point is 01:49:20 for 70 hit points. Flalk, yeah. Take care yourself. And I am operating under the assumption that we are not going to get all of the people who run the school back from their little demi plane until a champion sits here for 10 rounds. So I'm just going to, I'm taking a rope
Starting point is 01:49:40 and just tying myself. Oh my god. Next one. Yeah, the whole castle is rumbling right now. You guys don't even fully know what happened. Yeah, I'm just, I'm tucking in, I'm tying myself to this throne, I'm sitting on this throne, even if me and the throne go bouncing around,
Starting point is 01:49:56 we'll do it together. Sweet. Oh, and Pop-O is gonna attack the person who tried to attack it. Yeah, okay. Come on baby. Good. Ha. Ha, ha. Come on baby. God, yeah. Oh, 13.
Starting point is 01:50:06 13 does not hit. Oh, still getting his sea legs. Papa's gonna attack that guy. And then after Papa attacks that guy, my final ghost will make his final stand. Okay, our last hero. Come on, come on, you got this. Does a 21 hit?
Starting point is 01:50:23 A 21 does hit, yeah. Yes! And finally, it hits him for. Pop-op post, time to deliver. It's him for nine. And damage. That's just fine. End of your turn, he goes, you annoying me, pirate ghosts.
Starting point is 01:50:40 Y'all are. And that's a 19 to hit the pirate ghost. Yeah. And he's going to do 28 damage. The horn has been restored. That is Bev's turn. Okay. Can I do an insight check to see if the other devl team members are hollow bodies that would
Starting point is 01:51:01 like disappear if we killed Akira? Sure. Yeah. Actually, maybe can I combine that insight check with just like a general demon tone? Yeah, you can do either history or you probably like looked up and saw what was up with Akira. Yeah. You'd be one of the first people you looked up. You can do a history check with advantage. It's pretty low DC.
Starting point is 01:51:19 That's going to be a 23. 23? Yeah. You kind of gather that it's Probably not his hollow bodies at least in the death nights. They seem pretty strong and usually you know when you guys were When you guys fought him in frost wind and he was switching between bodies the ones that he wasn't controlling Were super uncoordinated and, and these guys seem pretty good. The Necromancer as well. The Necromancer has been doing as much,
Starting point is 01:51:49 you kinda don't know. Okay, cool. Well, I feel like I'm gonna try and keep wailing on Akarad. Sweet, regardless. Yeah, you guys are in this cubby. The whole castle is rocking at this point. You guys are just hanging up, just like fighting with swords in one hand,
Starting point is 01:52:04 like pirates. Oh yeah, we were like scrambling from cubby to cubby. Yeah, definitely like watching up and like grabbing and then like sliding down and breaking the cubbies as I go. Okay, 23, 23 hits. Nice. I'm gonna use my last first level smite. That's 30 damage on the first hit.. I would like to roll again to do more damage
Starting point is 01:52:30 Oh, you can try the order you seek she'll never come I've learned from my friends that there's a little chaos can be okay We call it okay us We call it okay, Alice. I got it two in my first roll. Got one on my second one. I'm going to reroll that because I'm one. Okay, arguably. That's a four. Okay.
Starting point is 01:52:52 That's not going to do it. Two on an four. Yeah, that's not going to do it. So I just slam my sword into some cubbies. At the end of your turn, he's going to use two legendary actions to cast a spell on you. He's going to attempt to do what he tried to do to moonshine. Hold his hand up and he goes... I'm out of counter spells.
Starting point is 01:53:12 A tire of this Beverly. Why don't you go join your father in hell? Uh, uh, go ahead and roll a... Charisma saving throw. 19? You pass. charisma saving throw. What's your favorite food? What's your favorite food? What's your favorite food? What's your favorite food? What's your favorite food? What's your favorite food?
Starting point is 01:53:34 What's your favorite food? What's your favorite food? What's your favorite food? What's your favorite food? What's your favorite food? What's your favorite food? What's your favorite food? Today! The many Ruby Tuesdays and hell. They all have subpar ratings! C plus it best. So this is, we're going back around to Maverick.
Starting point is 01:53:50 So this is top of the order. Guys, go ahead and roll for like the integrity of the castle, Christ. All of us? Oh, no, no, no, no, just give me one luck roll. One person roll in front of the table. Okay. Is your roll?
Starting point is 01:54:03 No, I don't wanna to do the luck roll. 17? 17. Okay, you see a few stones start falling and Bev, it's hard to kind of hang onto the cubbies up there, but the castle's holding for now. It's like Venice. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 01:54:17 It seems like maybe the structure now has a levitate spell under it, so even broken stones are being kind of held in place, but the top of it is starting to like crack and fall over. Mavericks is going to say, hard one, tag out with me, because I'm basically out of spells, except for a few things that I could do. So Mavericks is going to run down to the basement. Sweet.
Starting point is 01:54:41 So you run down, you're able to get there with a full dash action. You get down, you see these Templars fighting Coexis jammed in this tunnel. You can't even see hard one in friend because they're down the hall a little bit in this other room, but you just hear kind of chaos. You see Coexis is fucked up. Because Coexis probably could have taken these big Templar dudes, Because he, Coixis probably could have taken these big temple our dudes, but he's at a disadvantage because he's trying to stick his neck in this hallway, grab this gnome because that's more important. Yeah. And he's just getting stabbed.
Starting point is 01:55:13 So that is going to be the temple ours turns. They are going to... I can't believe it. The island vignette a robot that believes in God. Well, it's Ezri. So it's just the Ezri bots, right? Taking over by... But they're religious now.
Starting point is 01:55:28 We love the all up. She changed our lives. She'll change yours too. Have you heard of lame robots down here? Have you heard the good news? They run on milk. Please feed us the good stuff, the milk. They do combine 40 damage to Cuixes. He's not a dead store, but he's beaten up. Cuixes will crack back.
Starting point is 01:55:54 You know what, I'll roll to see if Cuixes finally gets his breath weapon back. He actually does. So they are going to go ahead and make saving throws. Three fails. Cuixes is actually going to do, and make saving throws, three fails. Quixis is actually going to do, finally Bill do a fuck ton of damage to them. Oh yeah. 56 damage to them, you see these Templars are starting to fall apart. Quixis looks messed up, they look a little more messed up now. They look like the robots from Alien when they start leaking milk.
Starting point is 01:56:22 Yes. Bishop, no. That is hard ones turn. Cool. Can my dwarf daddy's attack the Templars? Yeah. Go ahead and run up to him. Great.
Starting point is 01:56:33 So my whole family is going to attack you. Yeah. You run up. They will go ahead and do saving throws. I heard the one city is going to fall out of the sky. Yeah. Yeah, but we're all going to go to a big, hot-tempered day. No, because they a no Champion of Glano miss saved us all suck my ass. I'm gonna save us
Starting point is 01:56:50 So that's nine damage for my dwarf daddies, they all fail they take it the these guys are looking quite messed up Cool, so I see Mavericks at this point, right? Yeah get out of here Dan Mavericks. It's good to see you this guy Yeah, get out of here. Uh, Dan Mavericks, it's good to see you. This guy saved the day, but he does kind of suck, man. I've saved everyone, Mavericks. Even the ugly people like you. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 01:57:14 This is so for him, gonna pop you right in the nose. I'm already used to getting popped. I bloodmown blood today. You blood your own blood Yeah, a bunch of people are dead upstairs. You're gonna get what? No Sandler He died who saw the thing. He was even meaner than me Was he so I run down the hallway and I do that thing where I kick off the wall and then I kick off Rens head
Starting point is 01:57:42 I'll go ahead and make an attack on the Templars. Cool. I'm going to roll all three of them. I want to see... Just shoot. Run. Oh, there we go. So that is a 20...
Starting point is 01:57:53 24 and a 25. All of them hit. Cool. No. 48 damage. Oh. Um, hard one. You cut through one. You see this big buff arcane robot dude
Starting point is 01:58:10 Just shatters turns to just plate male falling on the ground de animates and you cut into another one for 20 damage and this one looks super hurt dope That is the elves turn. Once again, Ren's gonna hold his hand up. Hard one, look out! Why, dude? This is gonna cast, going to cult.
Starting point is 01:58:36 Just take a beat, plant your feet, and aim. Mavericks, this might get you a little too. That's right. You have time to warn us. You have time to just point more scussing down. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait Just take half 33 damage Fully Kills the one that was already hurt gets the other one down so that it's almost dead And it's coax is a little bit. What are you doing you fool? I'm almost dead. Oh yeah, but you were in the way.
Starting point is 01:59:27 Oh my god. What choice did I have? You're a fucking asshole, man. If you say I'm strong. I killed on the hero of Gladeholt. I'm gonna punch you right in the ear. Oh. Hit him.
Starting point is 01:59:38 Hit him in the fucking ear. Box his ears, dude. Let's do it. Just, you're not gonna do it very well. The other elves, Card gone, two death knights that are on the ground here are going to run at Moonshine and they will take three attacks each. Heart one house that tag out coming.
Starting point is 02:00:01 That's an at 20. 20 damage on the first attack, one guy. Booh. 11 damage on the second attack. Takes a third attack. Misses on the third attack. Next guy goes, first attack. That's gonna hit nine damage.
Starting point is 02:00:17 Second attack, misses. Third attack, crits. 26 damage. That is the Necromancers turn the Necromancer is going to go over and try to cast blight on Moonshine again Bring it on Moonshine go ahead and give me a Constitutions having throw Neck 20, man So you take half you take 22 22 damage. Where do you at?
Starting point is 02:00:46 I'm not gonna say. Okay. Then Akarot is going to... What are you gonna do? What could you possibly do? Gonna kill you and your friends. You've been trying for a long time. Hasn't really stuck.
Starting point is 02:01:01 He's going to cast Staggering Smite as a bonus action, then take his first attack, not 20. Oh, glad I did that shit talking. 18 damage on the Staggering Smite. Haven't done the other damage yet. Go ahead and give me a wisdom saving throw or else you get disadvantage on your next attack. 19. 19 passes. Okay, so you just take the damage, you don't take that. Now he's gonna do his regular damage. 56 more damage. Oh shit. Bev's hand slips from the cubby. Dad, I'm sorry. Bev, you slip from the cubby unconscious and begin to fall and you crash into the ground
Starting point is 02:01:59 and take damage. You have two deaths as fails. Two as fails? Yep. You've taken damage. Wond conscious. Bev crashes to the ground, 50 feet in the air. Conks is head, I'm gonna try to do you, you're like this kid is dead.
Starting point is 02:02:16 Crash is in the ground. That upward draft isn't there anymore. Not so strong anymore. Okay, I am going to... Is it not? No, he only took one attack. He uses his movements to climb down, and that is all he can do this turn. You see, I'm going to try, you see, Akarat laughing himself,
Starting point is 02:02:46 oh, should have joined me like his father. Uh, and he walks over and he kicks Bev's body. Uh, and that is your turn, Moonshan. Based on the exploring that we do with my father, what is underneath us? The room. The emerald cylinder room? Yeah.
Starting point is 02:03:05 Okay. I, fuck, I just have to do it. No, I have like... Can you cast two spells with that concentration thing with the crown or not? No, I can't cast two spells, can I? I would let you, if it was like a bonus action and an action, I would let you do that,
Starting point is 02:03:24 but you would need to roll the DC crown thing. DC of the crown. Yeah, that's fine. Yeah, it like takes up some of the energy of casting spells. So you can cast two spells. Okay. As long as there's an action and a bonus action, it doesn't give you an extra action. What I want to do is I want to jump on top of Bev and cast stone shape on the floor to make a passage through the floor to the room below us.
Starting point is 02:03:51 So you want to like shoot him down below? Like both of us. Like I jump on top cast stone shape, pivot so that I take the brunt of the fall, and then I'll use the cap to do a healing word. Bonus word, action healing word on Bev. Are you still in the chair? Yes. The chair's on my back. Well, you can't, you're not gonna be able
Starting point is 02:04:11 to bring the chair with you. I tied it to me. It's, you're not gonna get to Bev. All right, well, the thinking caps on me. Okay, so that's a fucking insane thing. So the healing word, what level are you gonna do it at? Cause you're gonna need to roll for the thing. I know, that's why I'm gonna play it safe. As I'm falling, I'm just gonna say,
Starting point is 02:04:31 if anyone has any heals, give him the bed now. But also it's about to be his turn so he can look at his amulet. So I'm just gonna do, I'm gonna do, I'm gonna be really conservative cause I don't wanna fuck this up and just do a second level healing word Okay, um, so Bev you pop back up
Starting point is 02:04:49 You pop back up as moonshine is cradling you and you're just like going down this tunnel side Yeah, well, where are we what's going on 17 hit points, baby great. Thank you Bev pops back up You guys downstairs see moonshine and Bev crash right next to you, Maverick. Through the wall. And crash into the ground. Moonshine, you're gonna take a little bit of falling damage because it's a little reckless, but you're shielding Bev.
Starting point is 02:05:15 I'll say six damage. I still wearing the thinking cap though. So the bad guys don't have it. Hey guys, welcome to hell. Guys, protect the thinking cap, Bev heal yourself, and I think I have to do that wisdom saving throw, right? Or something like that, because I cast a spell using the thinking cap.
Starting point is 02:05:31 Yes, so go ahead. I have a ban on one. So it is your spell, it is not a saving throw. It's like a spell casting check. So do use your wisdom against a DC 12. Okay, but I have advantage on Wisdom. Check. No, you have it on checks.
Starting point is 02:05:49 It's a spell, this is a spell casting check. It's different than a saver like. Damn, I might not have done it. I might have done this differently if I knew that. I got it! Woo! Nice, that's super good. Moonshan, you successfully do it.
Starting point is 02:06:01 This thinking cap, you weren't even able to parse out kind of like, where in the floor you would need to stand to be able to slide yourself downstairs. You feel when you think about reading Ulfgargo's punch, suddenly you're able to make more sense of the words and stuff and you're like, oh,
Starting point is 02:06:20 this all makes- It's all making up helping me read. Absolutely, yeah. Oh my God. Because you already have the basis for it. So He's going for that. Oh Laura forgive me. I'm dabbling and I'm Reading
Starting point is 02:06:34 Hey everyone I saved the world Rocks begin to fall down as the other option, but I was okay That is Bev's turn. Bev, you're back up. I'm back up. I was thinking a lot about my dad and the things I wanted to say to my mom if I was going to go to hell,
Starting point is 02:06:53 but I'm going to instead look at my ambulance. He'll come up to 48. Nice. And then I think I'm going to, who's hurt? Who needs help? I mean, I'm at 31. Wait, I think I'm going to who's hurt? Who needs help? I mean I'm at 31. Wait no I'm at 25. 25. I'm going to touch hands moonshine reciprocate the kindness. Wow look at this little healing circle. I'm gonna give you 55. Amazing.
Starting point is 02:07:18 55. Yeah, awesome. And then, okay, wait, that's touch hands is an action, that's my bonus action. I think that's all I can do this turn. Sweet, cool. Oh, that was crazy, Brad. I really did not like you having to fail death. That was crazy.
Starting point is 02:07:33 Sorry, I thought. No, you thought valiantly. You thought valiantly. Wasn't enough. Well, don't say that yet, it ain't over. Dude, there's a rock going on right now. That is a dragon fighting to survive. Everyone was happening. Don't say that yet. It ain't over dude. There's a lot going on right now Dragon fighting this robot
Starting point is 02:07:54 Maver sets back around to you learn not to ask that run kind of saved the world Oh actually speaking of rent putting a band-aid on the world. I'm go ahead and roll We'll see how the building's doing. Yeah, just pure luck. Yeah, Math. 11? 11. Okay. It's just so safe, though, right?
Starting point is 02:08:13 So it's not a save, really. It's just how fast is the building crumbling? You guys do feel it starting to shift and more bricks are coming down. Maveris, that's your turn. Okay. Maveris wants to move as close as he can to the thing. The...
Starting point is 02:08:30 Templar? Yeah. Okay. Can I get to it? Oh wait, do you want to get to the cylinder? This is gonna have to have remaining on this. Sweet. Yeah, buddy.
Starting point is 02:08:37 You can... You... There's enough room now. There's enough bodies that you can just climb over your friends and not even take an opportunity attack. You can fully get to the apparatus. Okay. Maverick is going to use four charges of his staff to cast, well for two charges I can
Starting point is 02:08:54 cast 11. So for four can I cast a higher level levitate? Sure. So that's my staff's basically done now. I have one charge in it. Okay. So I cast cast to I guess A fourth level levitate sweet
Starting point is 02:09:08 So you cast a spell Ren your spell looks kind of think you compared to that. I helped Why did you do this? Hey, Ren suck on this You cast I was like Ren join the party. I'm just saying You cast levitate on the entire city. You, once again, you feel the castle start to write itself, but it's like you're on that pirate ship ride where you're waving back and forth, and it's not good for the integrity of the castle,
Starting point is 02:09:37 but it seems like you may, you end a rend, may have prevented the city from crashing into the water. It starts to like write itself a little bit. Good teamwork, you ugly little horns devil. What? Why would you say it? What? I'm complimenting you. When this is done, you're done. Ha ha ha ha ha.
Starting point is 02:09:55 Then the true fight begins. I was trying to like maybe be your friend by the end of this, but I'm going to kick your ass. That's cool. Ha ha ha ha. So that's the Templars and Quicksis. At this point, there's only one left. They've totally lost their kind of pincer attack.
Starting point is 02:10:11 Quicksis just bites this dude apart. You see the clockwork Templar dies and the gnome team is completely out. You guys are now in this basement. You hear Quicksis breathing heavy, super, super heard. You guys are looking your wounds. You barely have any spell slots left, but Moonshine as a thinking cap. And you hear Akarat and his minions walking upstairs waiting for you guarding the throne.
Starting point is 02:10:42 And that's where we'll end our session. Oh man. So much more to do. Ah. Exhausted. You know what? This was such a thick sode. So many things happened.
Starting point is 02:10:56 Oh my god. This is a sudden. This friend's arc is complete. It's completely magnificent. He should have a spin off. Yeah. It's completely magnificent. He should have a spin off. Yeah, where he were in the first episode of The Plainsdons.
Starting point is 02:11:10 I decided that I don't want him to ever become a full good guy, so I love just also shooting you with cone of cold. I'm not trying to hurt you. That makes me like him in a way, but we'll talk about all this on the short run. Yeah, guys, going over to patreon.com slash and ad pod that's NADDD POD don't sing yet.
Starting point is 02:11:27 We are. Sorry. I didn't. It's okay. Here what you say. I didn't want you to realize you were going to say don't sing. It's okay. Yeah. Can I sing? Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 02:11:34 Sing a little bit. Um, guys, we have some shows to plug a bunch of them. So that's when we'll plug those ones. Um, but we still have tickets for our live show in New York. Oh, yeah. Oh, wait. Atlanta's first. Yeah. I'm just going in order. Okay. We got tickets for our live show in Atlanta, which is September 10th. September 10th. Philadelphia is sold out. So you can go fuck yourself. Or you can drive up to New York City on the September 12th.
Starting point is 02:12:00 Oh, better off. Yeah. I like that. Yeah. It's close. It's an easy ride. It's also Boston and Pittsburgh. That's September 13th. And then Pittsburgh is sold out. So once again, just go to the New York show. Is it a real grand old theater? You're gonna love it. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 02:12:14 You have a great time. Zach, you got anything to plug? I'll plug the dimension 20 I guess is coming out right now. This is, yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah, what the, I guess, is coming out right now. This is, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'm sleeping city.
Starting point is 02:12:27 I'm sleeping city is coming on a, yeah. That's it. Yeah. Watch Dimension 20 on College Humeurs Dropout with me and Zach and Emily and Brittany Lee Mulligan. She's on Thompson, a bunch of our friends from NAD pod. It's fucking good. Thanks.
Starting point is 02:12:42 I think catching up, it's good. Coldly got anything to plug. I'll go ahead and just plug the PO box. This week it's a 1920 Hillhurst Avenue number two to two Los Feliz California 90027. Please send us treats and goodies. It fills my heart with joy and my eyes with the light every time to open that tiny little box. Beautiful. Jake, you got anything? Yeah, I'll plug another hustling her with this week One of my sisters one of the ones from the beard oil company check out her band
Starting point is 02:13:12 They just launched a Kickstarter for their second album. Oh, fun. It's called they're called the honey magpies I don't know what the URL is but I bet if you google honey magpie Band North Carolina. Those are some keywords there. You'll be great. Right on. Check it out. Guys, follow us on Twitter. I'd see you as much as I could. I'd call these call-dwell, I'd see you as much as I could.
Starting point is 02:13:29 I'd see you as much as I could. I'd see you as much as I could. I'd see you as much as I could. I'd see you as much as I could. I'd see you as much as I could. I'd see you as much as I could. I'd see you as much as I could. I'd see you as much as I could.
Starting point is 02:13:37 I'd see you as much as I could. I'd see you as much as I could. I'd see you as much as I could. I'd see you as much as I could. I'd see you as much as I could. I'd see you as much as I could. I'd see you as much as I could. I'd see you as much as I could. I'd see you as much as I could. I'd see you as much as I could. I'd see you as much as I could. I'd see you as much as I could. We are, we are, youth of the nation. [♪ Music playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in the house when Hardwon tackled his cousin, Danny, but elected not to help him.
Starting point is 02:14:05 There we got Jay Loma 72 aka Steelbreaker, Hardwon's gym inspiration. Jay Loma has taken to personally training half-elf Hardwon to get his human body back. Dylan B. a sword-wielding wizard surrounded by a floating army of blades at all times is currently in jail for manslaughter because accidents happen. Danny P. Bohumiwa's resident artist painted hard ones senior portrait at the dwarf image. Some of the other dwarves found out that hard one was reincarnated and tagged the picture with some elf ears. Danny has pissed. Spencer Casper, patron elder of libations, ale maker to gods and heroes of Bohumia alike.
Starting point is 02:14:41 Once made a pilsner so refreshing, Akarat shielded out for an entire hour. Hermys W. The Bad King recently moved into the Montgomery mansion in Grimhawk and flies around just kind of hoping people will assume they're a vampire and give them money. Spartus! A barbarian, therapist. Spartus knows how you rage, but is trying to help you learn why. Atomar, the R-rated assassin, briefly tried being the G-rated assassin, but shouting, aw-shock, sorry, before every kill got old really fast. Danielle, the Dastardly Dame, Danielle is so dastardly, she helped Akira get his face wraps, just right for the big reveal against the boo
Starting point is 02:15:27 QC aka howdor frostback MVP of the giant wars crud and the SS stormborn and fought alongside allies and red once fell off The airship while drunk fell deep below the ocean and lived with some murfolk for a few months. It ruled Daniel you aka Multifor the many faced magician seven out of Daniels ten faces are super hot and the other three are at least cute. So we're talking about an 8.5 on average per face. Nice. Jordan DJ Legendary DJ of the Round DJ to Akarot's 30th birthday party where he constantly requested elevator music.
Starting point is 02:16:00 It was hell. Jeffrey S. Lord of the Fjord. Bon of the Sword and Eater of some Mores. That's right, Jeff Defeated Hardwon and Balnor in a Smores eating contest in Hill Home in a one and a half hour contest that was cut for time. Cutter W. A high-off dandy turned Crick Barcatech. Cutter is watching the Glade Home tournament with Bated Breath because the elves all falling into the ocean would not be great for property value.
Starting point is 02:16:25 John S. A. K. Schubert the mushroom. Currently, Theala's arch wizard, now that little flitrix is dead. Congrats Schubert! Ryan M. Hardwan's Ram, who was recently resurrected by Theala as an angel ram, who wants only to slay Hardwan for the light. Elena C. A chosen soldier who only sort of enjoys milk, but pretends to be really into it to fit in. Michael McD, head mixologist at the Blumana Inn, constantly has mages trying to duplicate their old fashions with magic spells, but nobody can get the whiskey to bidders ratio like
Starting point is 02:16:59 Michael can. Andrew M, the only scullywug to survive the whirlpool in Shadowfell. Andrew has resolved to turn their life around by ripping off some other human settlement. Victor T. Bounder's boy, who's loving dad, was ripped from his family and transported to another world. The post-credit scene of this campaign will be Victor and Bounder going on a fishing trip and slamming bud heavies. Justin I. A chosen rapper whose famous line, My milk is smooth as silk, its il, shouts
Starting point is 02:17:28 to the alas ilk, is quoted all around Galatoron. Jacob C, a chosen rapper whose famous line, I like milk, it's fun to drink, I don't pour milk down the sink is way less popular. Elena M, the only dualist in Bohumia who uses a pool noodle instead of a sword. They've never won, but it's honestly a triumph that there's still a lot. McPox, the amazing code master who programmed our website, also programmed the robot templates that almost destroyed Gladehome, so up yours, McPox. Earl and Kathleen L. Two Gladehome elves who had a meet cute when their entire city started
Starting point is 02:18:02 shaking and Kathleen dropped all their books. Jive G. Carl's best friend who went to a different university. And he cute when their entire city started shaking and Kathleen dropped all their books. J.I.B.G. Carl's best friend who went to a different university. They text every day about meal prep and checking in on each other's well-being, just two solid people. Jostritch, the Joc ostrich. Jostritch got so jacked by following Carl's meal prep plan and Ulfgaard's work out videos that involve him furiously cutting down trance with an axe. Damn you're all Ramdaniel's evil twin. Damn is currently
Starting point is 02:18:29 working with Hamdaniel, the pig clone of Ramdaniel, to exact revenge on their clone brother. Jennifer V has a V even more vicious than cops. One time they let somebody touch it and it literally cut off one of their fingers. Destincy Carl's younger sibling who idolizes Carl currently in the stands of the Wizarding Tournament, wearing a go-carl t-shirt. Devin B, the Bodeigal Lord, can summon almost anything your heart desires from rolling papers to dick bills,
Starting point is 02:18:55 but they cannot summon a working public bathroom. Sergio Salazar, Salomon Sacrides de Sacuani, 7th of his name, a sexy Peruvian snake folk with sweet snake patterns on his skin. Single-handedly brought animal prints back in a style in Bahumia, moonshine's cow-vest. Thanks you. Michael L got benched by Fiyala in favor of sending Lil'itla tricks as their champion, but who's laughing now?
Starting point is 02:19:18 Sam H. Alonus' dealer dealt a lot of the performance enhancing drugs, various competitors in the Wizard tournament are on, including our brain, which gives you a plus 4 to intelligence. Traylae, the cray-fay who loves a great day, no rainy day blues for this one, Traylae loves that atmospheric glue. Air and G master the banishment spell so good at it, it can't be counterspelled except by Maveris. Wow. Dury S. A Jacked Wizard. Streamlined a lot of our brain for the wizard tournament
Starting point is 02:19:49 and is having some serious withdrawal shakes. Alucard, a reverse Dracula, also a reverse necromancer or a mechronant, mancer, which is just a necromancer in a suit in a mech suit. Baby Duck, the only duck to ever perform their own C-section. For flavor, they made it an S-section. Fun! Adam H. retired death knight who was struggling to find their identity outside of death,
Starting point is 02:20:13 tried getting into P-nuckle, but kept falling back on old habits like killing their opponents. Ryan Hardwan's Ram was supposed to be a mount during the Star Spong Quidditch battle, but found out that Hardwan would be there and bowed out. Big Buck, pregnant elk, moonshines, elk and baby. Big Buck also got an At-20 to wear a hat, but it was one of those novelty beer guzzlin hats. Nice. Richard, ex-mocky nut, introduced the quick two Freudian psychoanalysis.
Starting point is 02:20:40 They're kind of drawing blanks on the whole edible complex, though, because you can't kill your dad when you don't even know who he is. Try and make sure you know that doesn't tee hee, they do however huck huck. Cannibalistic to Thulu legit best friends with the pandemonium beast that was summoned. Loves eating their power word kill sloppy seconds. Sam L a charred bard paints beautiful pictures but by applying a gentle kiss of flame to burn them into the canvas, and yes, before you ask, they are from the creek. Dom are a berserker who didn't get someone from the horn and was super passive aggressive about it.
Starting point is 02:21:13 Straight-up scoffed when they heard about all the deck saves that their friends failed. Josh asks the revived cyborg version of Josh the Cobald, living their best life, except when they have to use a hotel room key card for some reason their circuitry always resets those things. Let's bring Demetri owner of Dwarggers Big Borgers! Dwarggers Big Borgers, of course, being official sponsors of the Wizards Tournament. Starting to worry that all this death isn't a good look for the company. Caleb Storm, Cupbearer, and Quartz Great Hall recently went on vacation so they left Quartz one of the beer-guzzling hat things so Quicks still wouldn't have to bear
Starting point is 02:21:46 his own cup. Nicholas C. has starred in every single movie ever made in Buhumia, currently filming Edward Wizard Hands, the touching story of a man with wizards for hand. Mike H. a Quicksis border like a snow or mud border, but just for Quicksis's back, very niche. Kevin S, Ta, Moonshine, how to cast Stone Shape, thereby inadvertently saving Bev's life.
Starting point is 02:22:12 And yes, they will be billing Mama Toe Golt for their services. Matthew E, one of the star spawn in Moonshine's mating jar has been trying all their best moves, but the other spawnling has shown no interest. Jar Spawn. Samuel B, a star spawn who has vowed to hunt down the band of boobs in exact revenge, other best moves, but the other Sponeling has shown no interest. Till for G, author of the hit children's book and movie, Ulfgargo's punch wrote a children's
Starting point is 02:22:35 book as part of a nutrition initiative in Bohemia called Ulfgargo's lunch. Guardian of light, Zach H. Bohumias only only keyblade wielder was in the Wizarding tournament with a team of Mickey, Goofy and Sora, but they got eliminated round one because Mickey cheated. Curtis S. the mayor of a nearby Wizarding City who just passed a public works project to levitate their city but is now seriously reconsidering it. Coulton B. also successfully wore the thinking cap, but mostly used its powers of telekinesis to make a dollar bill on the sidewalk blow just out of reach every time someone reached for it.
Starting point is 02:23:13 Yens Christian T owns their studio apartment instead of Rens, also only has three roommates so overall doing moderately better than Jens Lindell. Gage M, the last green teen left in the later on, has been surviving on Nana Kindleef's Werther stash, which thankfully is incredibly vast and will likely last longer than Gage's natural lifespan. Aaron C, a very tiny halfling who wields a safety pin as a sword, but Aaron knows all your weak points and can cripple a foe with a few well-placed pokes. Montana Monarch, a butterfly who was so beautiful that they insisted on returning to their caterpillar form because it, quote, just wasn't fair.
Starting point is 02:23:49 L&D, the fiercest woman of Bohemia, does not need a sword because Ellen can stare daggers with her eyes, also has an axe. TJM, the no barbarian. TJM does everything recklessly, even eating a sandwich. TJ always rolls with advantage on dominating heroes and... Gears. RPKB, Archer D2's less helpful cousin has no wheels and must be carried everywhere, also weighs a metric ton.
Starting point is 02:24:14 Taylor S-A-K-A, Travler, Travler has a backpacking bag of holding that they were refused to check on flights because their layover is just too short, man. Anime intellect, Ren and Zander's third bud who used to laugh the hardest at poor people in town, but deep down, anime felt a little bit bad about it. Jolo dole, kid gobo's alter ego who writes the more moody, trans music. Jolo dole is way more introspective and relatable, but cobalt, bombs. They honestly need each other. Joshua C. A free fairy farmer who grows corn. Sure, it's not as sexy as Lollipops, but
Starting point is 02:24:49 their grandmommy grew this corn before you could even wipe your own ass, you ungrateful millennial shithead. Larissa J. Master of the Counter Spell. Also great at Counter Spell, which is counting spells. Larissa can count to 100 spells. Wow. Dylan CM, the wannabe DM Dylan uses unmarked marbles as dice. It just doesn't mean anything Dylan. Why are you playing this way?
Starting point is 02:25:14 Killvin noodles, the pasta elemental. You can add broccoli rub to killvin if you want to make your pasta just a little bit worse. Be money, bound or sip-op alterigo. Be money is currently on trial for tax evasion. Moe be money, Moe be problems. Andrew A. A half orc wrestler who's almost as solid as Carl. Only physically though, no one can be as emotionally stable as Carl. Jay Alonus is best bud in college and we mean literal bud.
Starting point is 02:25:41 Jay was the dankest weed Alonus ever smoked. It changed the way she sees the world, man. Heartless master, a wizard with a long white goat tea instead of a beard. You can't lay eyes on Heartless Master without thinking, hmm, why did they shave that? CC Lulu, a famous pop star in Bahumia who is on tour in Glator on and just gave a very weird
Starting point is 02:26:03 performance to a bunch of birds pounding milk. Paul B. Ackarott's assistant. Paul is the one who gently convinced Ackarott that even though his prime body is so beautiful, maybe they should cover it with bandages so other people don't have to look at it. Barns and Ador, teafling like Maveris, but instead of coming their horns back, they do kind of an old school beaver swoop with their horns that just drives everyone wild. Yasmin, aka the Yasminian devil. Ilsa has been trying to steal Yasmin's thing
Starting point is 02:26:30 of just spinning around like a small tornado and shouting obscenities, but it's just not working for him. Eric G invented truck nuts in Bahumia. All the doggers find them hilarious and attach them to their drill cars. Eric G is rightfully rich as hell. Jackalobotty, the drummer for Pendergreens' favorite new metal band, Ratnuts. Also the singer of their hit single, your uncle is a knob. That's right, Pendergreens' band has a singing
Starting point is 02:26:57 drummer. Zach C, the agent for Ratnuts and the central figure in their new deal to be featured in a promo for an alcoholic energy drink called Fuck My Life. Aiden R. Tott Carl, how to meal prep. Even bought Carl some Tupperware. Damn Aiden R. It's pretty fucking solid as well. Jeremy R. The bartending assassin for the SS Stormborn once secretly sanded down the door jam above Hard One's room when someone carved Captain Casper above it. L.E.K. also has a pet moonacorn but their animal is incredibly eloquent and gentle.
Starting point is 02:27:28 Doesn't sound at all like Onyx's. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa or heard from Levin in a year and a half. Tragic! Ritterin' aka Cock calls new master. Recently lost his treasured bird. It must be out, looking for a hard one. Sorry, Ritterin'. I'm hopeless, a down on their luck adventurer, set out for Moonstone in Bark-Upon, an exciting new quest but was instantly accosted by the cracked tooth clan and robbed blind.
Starting point is 02:28:00 Timmy R. A death knight with a zest for life. When the work days over, Timmy loves nothing more than ditching their gauntlets for oven mitts and cooking up some delicious apple turnovers. Alex Am a high-off-turned-sky-elf, that's right Alex messed up a flight spell real bad and is currently floating out into space, unfortunate. Cody John H, the only teacher that maverous likes, Cody sits backwards in chairs and talks about how the system is bullshit and is actually just a janitor that lied to Maveris to trick them
Starting point is 02:28:29 into helping him clean the school. Aaron RS, a pasteurized pastor in the holy church of the Aula, Aaron performs over 200 milk baptisms a day. Lucas B was having lunch with the goat fiend when he was summoned to the mortal plane and straight up stole the goat fiend's prize as soon as he left. Ruben A. an Elven sword professor who has invented numerous fighting styles such as Pebble in the Stream, Deer in the Meadow, and Billy on the Street. Jordan L. the greatest tuba player in Bohumia and the only bard who can tap into a strange
Starting point is 02:29:01 magical forest known as Poka. Laura S. a star spawn who runs a pub called Bar spawn, they have over 40 different types of worms on tap and also dogfish head. Jay Parker, the first player, to hit a so-so-sick trick, playing the giant shredder game at Smuggler's Bounty. It was later discovered that Jeff was using
Starting point is 02:29:21 a literal game genie to cheat and was promptly kicked out. Austin C. The Jester Mage, a sorcerer who imbues items with wild magic and reeks havoc on the world. There are a few cards short of a full deck of many things, but a fun hang nonetheless. Austin MR aka the butcher known as Bone Saw. Can turn a living cow into a pile of Kobe Sliders in 30 seconds flat. Just a pissed off, Triss aka touch it saves money on the salon by going to a home depot and using their hedge trimmers when no one's looking.
Starting point is 02:29:52 Kaylee Elise, the honey queen with a heart of gold. Kaylee also has a pancreas made of silver and intestine made of chrome. She is the future of humanity bow before your robot-j-honey queen! Dave J. Baillin the Bard, a traveling bard that follows the band of boobs around singing the tales of their exploits, currently working on a verse that rhymes with Maveris, that rhymes Maveris with Abra Kadaveris and feeling a little too proud about it. Devon W. Agrikel, who can deep bone a fish by sticking it in their mouth, then pulling it out, Garfield style.
Starting point is 02:30:26 Devon sells the bones to Erdand, feed to bubbles. Chris A.J. Bullywug, that's been pulling home-alone-style pranks on the chosen occupying the Crick, and of course by pranks, I mean that Chris has repeatedly set the chosen's tents on fire. Channel Abbey, a Goth Necromancer at the Academy who plays in a band called Fallout Bones. Made entirely of skeletons they resurrected. Sam H. The only sorcerer, Lazyr, and Maveris. Sam's arcane focus is just a lazy boy chair that they cast to levitate on.
Starting point is 02:30:55 Jared E. Lydia Stormborn's new personal assistant in Shadowfell. Currently arranging a photo up for Lydia at the newly opened Jivelyn Memorial DMV. Brian, Pentecost's former roommate moved out after Pentegrin started using the bathroom as a scully wug smokehouse. Her majesty Claudette, Queen of the Nomes, her people follow her decrees with Glee, a Teehee. Carbrow Chapel Hill FPV, a Bohomian skydiving instructor famous for using the Featherfall spell instead of parachutes. Is it risky, sure, but the thrill is undeniable.
Starting point is 02:31:28 Persephone, a wizard with unlimited spell slots. Persephone stalks the absolute dumbest first-level spells every day and doesn't think twice about it. Joseph M. the Half-Work Bard, ish. Joseph attended Bohumi as Bard College of Valor, but flunked out because of bad grades. Now Joseph works as an airship gas station attendant and plays the loot in his mom's basement, currently playing a lot of rocket league with pender greens. Reese and S, a rogue who rolls with disadvantage on stealth due to their hundreds of Marty
Starting point is 02:31:58 grub beads than sysed on wearing, and Reese's defense, they look fucking cool. Jackie and Echermenser, who's familiar as a sentient foot, named Rosie Tozi, soon she and Handy Andy will have a hot romantic subplot that no one asked for or wanted. Haley, a crick-alve who drained the magical trees of the whisperer wood to try and get syrup from them and instead ended up getting outrageously high. Eric and Andrea B, an adventuring duo who are celebrating 11 years of marriage today as is Bahomian tradition. Eric and Andrea are marking the occasion by killing a steel dragon and claiming its
Starting point is 02:32:35 hoard as their own. Congrats guys. Yeah, congrats. Steven C, the Bahomian barista, Steven roasts their beans in the belly of a fire elemental and filters the brood through glass blown by a goblin artisan. The whole process takes two hours and is super not worth it. And finally, who could forget Dubie Ashtray? The talking Ashtray upon which Alonus rests her celestial roaches.
Starting point is 02:33:02 It was actually Dubie's idea to put Balnor in a card. Thanks, Dubes. Thank you guys so much for listening. You can head on over to... And one more congratulations to Eric and Andrea B. Yeah, congrats guys, happy anniversary. You can listen to our after show over on our Patreon, patreon.com slash an ad pod.
Starting point is 02:33:21 We'll be back next week with another episode and another short rest and stuff. Guys, thank you so much to all of our listeners, all of our Patreon subscribers, and of course our Council of Elders. We'll catch you guys next time. We love you. That was a hate gun podcast.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.