Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 76: Enemy of My Enemy (The Chosen Prelude)
Episode Date: September 26, 2019The Band of Boobs join Ulfgar and face Thiala! Hardwon tries to quiet the voices in his head, Moonshine navigates a psychic storm, and Beverly confronts his ex-hero head on. Support us at&nbs...p;Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content! Get tickets to our upcoming live shows at naddpod.com/live.Music/Sound Effects Include:"Angels & Devils" by Emily Axford. "Pandemonium" by Emily Axford. "Apotheosis" by Emily Axford. "The Purge" by Emily Axford. "The Mindflayer's Lair" by Emily Axford. "The Multiverse" by Emily Axford. "Alone" by Emily Axford. "The Vast Expanse" by Emily Axford. "Into the Planar Pool" by Emily Axford. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Goodbye, Sweeties.
Welcome to the campaign after the campaign.
This is not another D&D podcast.
Welcome back to Bahumia, everyone.
Bahumia.
Bahumia.
Or rather, astral plane.
Mm, yeah.
I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Harwitz.
Hard one, short foot.
Emily Axford.
Moonshine Sabin.
Bungal Balahedad Straitfought the Yala.
Ooh, but it's not everyone.
I really?
Wow.
I love that short and sweet.
And of course, called Waltanner.
Beverly Toggle, the fifth, the Halflingling knight who bears the amulet with a crack, here
to give theala a smack.
Ooh, very good.
It was smack theala.
Y'all, it has been a long time since we've played a canon Bohumia episode.
We have been playing a lot of D&D.
We just got back from tour.
What a cliffhanger to leave us on
Yes, you big dumb jerk. Yep. It's hanging over our heads the entire tour. The entire tour
I was meddling a merr for trying to get him to tell me what was gonna happen. Yeah every
Simple but I was like I'm one step closer to finding out
We didn't injecting with truth serum at one point
There were a few times when we were in ubers so you guys were really pressing me on the a la.
And there was that night that you guys had
amid the hotel lobby getting drunk.
I was trying to break into your room.
Yeah.
Yeah, to steal all of the notebooks.
Yeah, and look through his notes.
Yeah, and look through his notes.
All right, cool guys.
So let's do a little recap to catch everybody up.
So last time you guys had a peaceful demonstration
of Crick Elves and high elves as you marched
on a Glade Home Castle to protest the King's Guard attempting to kick out the cricks.
Clearly outnumbered, the King challenged Moonshine to a duel and offered to let the gods decide
if he should step down.
Despite all the King's fancy magic equipment, Moonshine completely kicked his ass.
Leading to Mama and Erdan,
replacing him as temporary leaders of the elves.
I've been both knees.
Um.
Ah.
Ah.
Love bending a knee to Erdan.
Oh, we know his bubbles.
It was technically bubbles.
Absolutely.
Yeah, certainly.
And Erdan by proxy.
Um, let's not turn this into complete loony tunes.
Ah.
Ah. Ah. As the king was moving out of the castle,
you and Lucados found an invitation to a war council
at the Astral Keep to discuss the Allah
and made your way there, teleporting to the Astral Plane
and convening with the other free cities
in a magic rock dome floating through a cosmic nothingness.
King Grimthor McGannis of Iron Deep made a plea for help in defending his city from the chosen,
to which King Cyrus Koldain, a frost-wind, scoffed and said that the council should deal with Ilset
and the Devil's First. A representative named Mezna from the port city of Ramoset,
agreed with Koldain and proposed that the free cities work with Thialla
until the devil threat was quelled.
You all managed to convince the council,
not to work with the chosen to which Mesna responded
by revealing herself to be Thialla in disguise.
Fuck!
Shit.
We knew the whole time.
Yeah, I was only pretending to be a track.
Yeah.
All right, and...
And...
You took the war.
And Thialla launched a coordinated attack
on the war council chosen angels
began pouring into each of the opera boxes.
Mima, Lucana, Jaina Brodsbeard,
and the other warriors jumped to defend themselves
and their leaders.
Well, you guys, an Ulfgar jumped to the center podium
to face Theala and her guards head on.
And that's where we are now.
Everyone go ahead and roll initiative.
Oh fuck, yes, it just rolled me everything.
Right into it.
So it's you guys in Ulfgar, everyone else is tied up.
They've got angels pouring into their boxes.
The others got two great swords out.
Ulfgar's there with you.
Axenhand, the others got four angels with her
in the center podium, what did everybody get?
I got 13.
Ooh, 13 as well.
Yeah.
That's a roll off.
Oh, that's a roll off.
Roll off, please.
Less exciting than doing it on tour.
I got a 16.
I got a six.
Sweet.
Congratulations.
Hard on what you get.
After saying this roll means everything I rolled a two.
Yeah, that's a six total.
That is a six.
Is Ballonore with us?
Of course.
Yeah, Ballonore jumps down with you guys.
And you guys are able to, so a couple of things to catch up on
because I know it's been a while.
Moonshide did foggle form before she jumped in
and hard when you called your dwarf daddies.
Nice.
And we all started the morning with a hero's feast.
Mm-hmm.
Still thinking about that breakfast.
And can you kind of give me, so I can draw it for myself, a little layout kind of give me so I can draw it for myself a little layout of the land so I can draw it?
Yeah, it's basically like a big coliseum and you guys are in the center right now on a floating rock platform.
And all of these other boxes are like opera boxes in a theater and they are filling up with angels as the other
you know members of Kingsguard and whatnot fight them off. are like opera boxes in a theater and they are filling up with angels as the other members
of Kingsguard and whatnot fight them off.
So at Initiative 20, Theala beats you all.
She is going to look at all of you and go, if you won't listen to reason, I'll just have
to send you to hell where you belong.
And she's going to go ahead and cast. And she's gonna go ahead and cast,
as she says, that she casts a defensive spell.
She is going to cast Holy Aura on her and the four angels around them.
While she has concentration on the spell,
you guys all have disadvantage on all your attacks against all of the angels and her.
That is Moonine's turn.
So we have disadvantage, right?
If I cast something on myself that gives me advantage,
it would equal out.
And then if I then use pop-pots,
give me a help action with that then.
That would make it advantage again, yeah.
All right then, baby.
Yeah.
The element might be a goddess,
but we have a fucking possum.
I mean, I cast, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I? Uh, yeah, you see I'm Balnor grabs the bag and throws it to you.
Okay, cool, I got the bag.
And I'm gonna fucking attack Viola.
Oh my god, I can't live without that.
I can't believe Balnor gave you the ball.
I dare you.
Why are you doing this?
Do you want to put down our weapons and just talk?
No, I can do that later.
And because I have element accuracy,
I'm gonna, and whenever I have advantage,
I get to roll.
Re-roll the lower one, yeah.
Okay, well, that's still gonna be good though.
27 to hit.
Wow.
She is going to Perry,
add seven to her AC, and she blocks it.
Csh!
Seven.
Seven.
C?
Fuck!
Okay, well I still spores her for 18. Uh, she is immune to poison. Cush! Seven. Seven. See? Fuck!
Okay, well I still spores her for 18.
She is immune to poison.
Sorry, it's not gonna work on a god.
At the end of your turn,
she's gonna use legendary action
and use command allies.
As Moonshine, as you go forward at her,
three of the angels are gonna use the reactions
to take attacks on you with
advantage. Okay. First one hits on the attack. 19 damage total on the first attack. Next one
takes an attack and crits. That is 39 damage on the second attack. Next one takes an attack with advantage and hits, another 19 damage.
That is one of her legendary actions, that is Bebs turn.
I'm going to cast Hace on my friend Hard one to try and even this table up.
Alright, so I can run from here very quickly now.
That's a good idea, that's the first smart thing you've said all day.
I was being sarcastic.
Don't worry, I'm very stupid.
It's a rather lowly God that has to get her hands dirty
in the muck of this plane.
And then as a bonus action, I will cast Val with Inmidi
against the Allah.
You are good to do that.
Right.
End of your turn.
You just insulted her by
Talking about a god getting her hands dirty. She's gonna swing down on you. Oh, I'll be quite dirty with your blood boy
That is a 25 to hit that hits
39 damage to you. Okay, honestly, she doesn't do as much damage as her henchmen
How dare you that is
Ulfgares turn I'm gonna do
Ulfgares
Right you got me on your side Ulfgares goes acts
We've freed you from that gem. Yeah, I love you guys. You guys are solid as hell. I hate the Aula.
Off-Gar is going to do an intelligence check
because Off-Gar fucking hates the Aula.
So it's going to see if he does the smart thing
or if he just goes straight for her.
That doesn't actually work.
Wait, you're looking at the wrong thing.
Off-Gar charges in, goes after the Aula.
First swing is a natural five.
He misses just swinging wildly at her second one is going to hit
He swings Gemma and does a big
19 damage. She was a good axe
Great X
Man off guard makes a third attack that is a fucking crit that's our man a great X. And Ulfgar makes a third attack. That is a fucking crit.
That's our man.
A great X indeed.
Crit's on Theala. That is 35 damage from Ulfgar.
Swings into her. Theala stumbles back.
What are you thinking, Ulfgar? You could have been a part of this.
That is the Angels turns, the angels are going to
continue taking cracks down at moonshine.
The first one is going to use battlefield inspiration
to give it to up to three other angels,
which is all of the other ones.
They had defores to their attack rolls.
So first one, I don't know, I might be down this round.
First one swings the 14 hit on the first attack.
Doesn't hit.
I'm 20 AC.
Okay, 18 hit on the second attack misses.
Next ones go that have the D4.
This one gets a 20 to hit.
20 is my AC.
So it is gonna hit on the first attack.
Moonshine careful, these birds could contain tetanus.
That is 24 damage.
What is it, trick to feel yo?
24 damage.
24.
Takes a second attack.
That's only 18 to hit.
That misses.
Next dude takes two attacks.
Misses on one.
That's a crit on the other one.
35 damage.
Okay.
Okay.
Next one takes two attacks.
Ooh, good God.
That is 22 to hit.
That is another 22 damage.
Okay.
Misses on, it's next attack.
At the end of the Angel's turn,
that is
Ulfgar's legendary action. Ulfgar is going to do something bro. Uh, he looks at you, hard one, and he goes, you do
something, bro, get in there. Uh, you can now use your
reaction to, um, make an attack, uh, with advantage on the
attack. Hell yeah, sweet dude.
I headbutt off guard.
Sweet.
So I get to make an attack right now.
Who do you want to attack?
One of those fucking angels.
Sweet, hacking at my girl.
Thank you.
I'm down to 11.
It's a 20 to hit.
Super hits.
Hit these dumb birds.
Just root and yon.
Thanks brother.
Nothing better than whacking a bird out of the sky.
14.
Oh, 15 damage.
Nice.
That is Balenoir's turn.
Balenoir will crack at the same angel.
That's a not one.
He re-rolls that.
And yes.
Okay, Balenoir.
Nice.
That is 12 damage to that same angel.
Boundler takes a second attack and misses.
He's gonna action surge.
He hits another eight damage
and then makes a final attack.
And that is a miss.
And of Boundler's turn,
Theala is going to use
a legendary action to swing down on Bev again.
That is a 25 to hit.
Bring it.
You're gonna try and crack this amulet even more.
Woohoo.
Yes, you know what, I'm gonna take it back.
I've decided.
You have what is mine.
You couldn't handle what was yours.
That is 35 damage. That is hard one. Oh no,
that is Ulfgar's action. Ulfgar looks at Bev and goes, are you gonna take that dude?
Are you gonna take that? No way! It was eloquently put, but no! You can take a reaction to make an attack. Awesome.
Well, I have an immunity against theala,
and I know that I should probably attack these angels first,
but I want to get just like one good whack in on theala.
Sweet.
Shout out to the two crew.
Doesn't do it.
All right, let me roll.
Is he just one attack, or do I get to take my two?
I just want, it's a reaction.
Shoot.
That is hard ones turn you do have haste
So you can make an extra attack this turn if you would like
You can do four attacks. Oh, fuck yeah, okay, so I'm going to
Try to put one of these birds on a goddamn spit
So we throw a javelin at an angel that's oh, that's good. Yeah
But I have to do it with disadvantages that right yes, oh that's good yeah but I have to do it with this advantage is
that right yes so that's a 13 13's not gonna do it I'll try it again come on rotisserie
that would have been nice but shut out to the two crew yikes I'll try one more time oh I'll use
a luck point on one D 20 yeah holy shit I rolled two ones uh I'm going to use my on 1D20. Yeah. Holy shit.
I rolled two ones.
I'm going to use my last action to
uselessly summon assault in the air
and for a healing potion down Moon Giant's throat.
Oh, no!
Oh, no!
Hey, I can't do shit, but maybe you can.
What's the highest healing potion you guys have? I have to do ship of the Abbey You Camp. What's the highest? What's the highest healing potion you guys have?
I have the superior healing from the Mage Ship.
Wow, nice.
Good memory.
Thank you.
Y'all hear it each other all the time.
Get in on this.
It feels good.
That's good.
Oh my God.
It's the bomb that I needed because I feel real sad,
not fucking hitting on any of those attacks.
Senior friends not die feels pretty good.
Okay, so Superior Rehealing is going to be 8D4 plus 8, so Moonshine, go ahead and do that.
That is back around to Theolus turn. On Theolus turn, she is going to use war leaders Helix.
She's going to, that makes an attack on Beverly.
Bring it.
Oh God.
Show me the might of a false god.
That is 31 to hits.
Okay.
Hey, hey, hey.
That's pretty mighty.
There's nothing false about me.
I hope we never meet a real god
because this fake god's actually pretty strong.
Yeah.
It's crazy, the pretender.
That is 39 damage to you, Bev.
Okay, and then she heals the angel that was hurt back up
to bowl.
Who might just need to die?
Oh my God.
Okay, new plan.
That is, do you want to report the plan?
Y'all, I think if she's going to keep healing them,
if her strategy is to keep this army
and keep healing them, I can try to hit them
with chilled touch, which means they can't regain
hit points until my turn again.
So then we can zero in on one.
It's not a lot of damage, though,
that's my only concern.
As long as they're not regenerating,
but we can't fucking hit them either.
Should we try and just cut off this holy snake's head?
Just go for the owl.
Kill Ketsu Quaddle?
Oh, I don't know.
It's my turn.
Yeah, I don't know.
I think picking off these guys, okay.
You guys only managed to do like 15 damage to them.
So maybe if we focus a little more,
we can just take them out in one turn
and then just kind of whittle it all that way.
She's not without these guys.
She's nothing without her followers.
These are the people that believe she's the god.
Yeah, is anyone hurt any of these angels? No, not anymore. and just kind of whittle nothing without these things. She's nothing without her followers. These are the people that believe she's the God.
Yeah, is anyone hurt any of these angels?
No, not anymore.
No, I'm a single bud.
Nope.
All right, I am, I'm gonna go after one of these birds.
Sweet.
I'm sending you to Buffalo Wild Wings.
We're not birds.
Putting you at the front of the grocery store.
New story.
Does a, does a 26 hit.
26 does hit. Whoo. I. The real story. The real story. The real story. The real story.
The real story.
The real story.
The real story.
The real story.
The real story.
The real story.
The real story.
The real story.
The real story.
The real story.
The real story.
The real story.
The real story.
The real story.
The real story.
The real story.
The real story.
The real story.
The real story.
The real story.
The real story. The real story. The real story. The real story. The real story. The real story. The real story. The real story. The real story. The real story. The real story. The real story. The real story. The real story. The real story. The real story. The real story. The real story. The real story. The real story. The real story. The real story. The real story. The real story. The real story. The real story. The real story. The real story. The real story. The real story. The real story. The real story. The real story. The real story. The real story. The real story. The real story. The real story. The real story. The real story. The real story. The real story. The real story. The real story. The real story. The real story. The real story. The real story. Okay Constitution save yeah, that's gonna be nine plus four 13 damn it that fails
Hey breaks, oh still feel strong as hell I hit him for 20 and then I spores him for 18 Jesus you
Mess him right up and then I use my bonus action to look at bev's amulets great you look at bev's amulets
All-fgar at the end of your turn looks at you and goes,
that was good, do it again.
Okay, I guess I'm gonna go up to the same fucking guy.
Sweet.
Nat 20.
Yeah, I do it without you.
Good for you.
Yes.
Nice job, Ulfgar and moonshine.
You guys Marvel vs Capcom double team it. So many cubes. Oh shit you
also yeah you have poison. 38 moonshine finished this angel. Yes I drop them into a deep fryer at
Buffalo Wild Wings. I spike them back down to Bohumia into two of the deep fryer but Buffalo Wild with an honorable death.
I'm just sure.
Just we lay sauces at his grave.
And then I look at the all and I say,
you're not next, but everyone around you is.
Oh, you think this is an insult, but I love Zack's piece.
That's a chicken restaurant. You ain't chicken, you ain't wings. You have an appetite?
Most gods wouldn't have to eat the wings.
I love it.
I learned my godhood.
Do you do?
I'm like your false gods.
Can I just ask if you go number two after you eat the wings?
Probably get real.
I still go number two.
Yes.
It doesn't sound very god-like to me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Pelor shits because he chooses to.
Yeah.
The core doesn't fit.
Yes.
The core doesn't fit.
Yes. The core doesn't fit. Yes., it doesn't sound very godlike. Yeah, yeah, yeah, hell or shit because he chooses to
Yeah, the more it's good. It's good for the earth
She's so mad. Corda's liquid diarrhea all the time. So you can't really call it a shit as you guys insult
her shitting
She's going to use command allies as a legendary action and have her three remaining angels take cracks at Bev
and have her three remaining angels take cracks at Bev. Just making fun of you, you're shitting.
It's a very normal mortal thing to do.
That's all we're saying.
Yeah, you're just like us.
To shit is human.
Yes.
That is two hits.
Two of the angels hit.
Oh.
26 damage from the one Bev.
Oh goodness.
Bev's down.
No!
That was strong.
That was a static.
Nice.
Then the other one will take a crack at Moon Shine.
How many angels are left?
Cause I killed one.
Three.
Three.
And the other one does 21 damage to you, Moon Shine.
Okay.
Thankfully I'm still looking good.
Thank you to Bev's Amulet and Hardwan, superior healing potion.
If you're so good
to be healed by the fire.
That is Bev's turn, Bev, go ahead
and give me a death saving throw.
Okay.
He'll myself.
Oh shit, that's a seven.
That's a fail.
End of Bev's turn.
Theala is going to take an attack on Moonshine.
24 to hit.
It does hit.
29 damage to you, Moonshine.
And then that is Ulfgar's turn.
Ulfgar is gonna do another intelligence check.
15, Ulfgar focuses up and goes after one of the angels.
And he's going to take three attacks against it.
Mrs. on one of them, but hits on two of them.
Ofgard does 41 damage.
Adam's eight.
It's not just Daddy who looks super hurt right now.
Drop the wall on him.
That is.
There it goes, my hero.
We gotta get this fucking dude.
Hey, you guys are great fans.
My favorite ones, honestly.
That is the Angels turns.
We need to get it down to two angels.
They are going to make attacks against Moon Shine here.
One makes two attacks.
That is a Nath1 and a Nath7.
Yeah! They go. They go. Next one hits on both attacks. That is a not one and a not seven. This is, they go.
They go.
Next one hits on both attacks.
I'm so sorry.
18 damage on the one attack.
20 damage on the second attack.
And then the other one makes two attacks.
I thought they're, are they all already won?
No, that was, that's her, one of her legendary actions
is she can command the people around her.
The last one misses on both of their attacks.
Ulfgaard's gonna use a legendary action
to turn the moon shine and go,
get some revenge!
Dwayne!
Okay, I'm gonna go, who's hurt?
There's one that Ulfgaard just,
oh, hurt super bad.
Okay.
I'm hurt.
No, this is a reaction.
I know, I know. I think I can heal. Yeah, you can. I know, I'm hurt. No, this is a reaction. I know I know I think I can't heal. Yeah, you can I know joke right?
Yeah, you can okay. Yeah, okay. I'm gonna go for I'm gonna go for the one who Ulf Garhurt cool
Hell yeah, I got an apple. I got an at one yikes
Okay, you miss big time that is Balnor's turn Balnor is kind of like running forward. I feel so out-classed
right now. This is on the first attack against the hurt angel, Nat 20.
Balnor, you're in a class all your own. Do it for Bobby Balnor.
Why'd you have to bring that up, man?
That is 15 damage.
And with Paper Cut your card.
That angel is looking extremely hurt, but is still alive.
Okay, at the end of Balanor's turn, Theala is going to take an attack on moonshine.
That is a 24 to hit.
Heesh.
40 damage to moonshine.
I'm down.
Oh, okay.
End of Balanor's turn in the same legendary action turns to you hard one
They're down. Doesn't that make you pissed dude. Yeah, yeah, you can kill somebody for me man. Slap my ass You're in trouble. Slap my ass. Slaps your ass dude. I'm nervous. Keep them up. Keep the walls up
Walls up. I think building a ceiling now baby. I'm attacking an angel. I do I still roll with this advantage
You do He falls up. I'm attacking an angel. Do I still roll with this advantage? Um, you do.
Mm.
Then I do not hit it.
You miss.
Uh, um, that is your turn though.
Oh, okay.
You got one angel on death's door
to looking pretty healthy.
Both me and Bev have healing potions on it.
Yeah, right.
I guess I'm trying to figure out
if I should use my both, like use my action and my action surge to heal
both of you guys.
You should try and get a whack and I should or whack an action surge here.
There is the hurt angel.
Try and take out an angel.
Because if we could be down to two angels, we'll just start falling down.
With rolling with this advantage, I might just miss all three times again.
It's fun because he's pretty hurt already, right?
Ulfgraded 41 damage.
Yeah, so I have my damage too.
Found our hurt him too.
You do have your dwarf daddy's.
They should have had to roll already.
You know what, I'll go ahead.
They have resistance to radiant damage,
but they've had two turns so far,
so I'll roll for him twice.
Hey, thank you.
They do have advantage on saving throws
because of the divine aura.
They all pass, so they'll take half damage on the first one,
so go ahead and roll for their first turn.
19.
Damn.
Okay, so they take half of that, so that's nine.
So hard one you do finish off.
Woo!
Yeah!
Nice.
Another winged for the bucket.
The dwarven daddies.
Pund them down in the bubble of wild wings.
I drown him in a vat full of blue cheese.
That's a shame, night people.
You still have your action.
Okay, I'm gonna use, so one of those guys is dead.
Yep.
I'm going to swing my hammer at one of the unhurt guys.
Cool.
Does a 19 hit?
A 19 does hit.
Yes.
Nice work.
Yes.
Yeah dude. Yeah dude.
16 damage to that guy.
All of guard just furiously smacking your ass.
Okay, that's enough actually.
What dude?
What?
You're very smart.
All right, I'm sorry.
Another dad for the squad.
That's another 19 to hit.
That hits.
Now the dad is rolling. It's 23 damage. hit. That hits. Now the dinosaur rollin'.
It's 23 damage.
Sweet looking extremely hurt.
Alright, I'm gonna hit that extremely hurt guy again.
Okay.
That's only 15.
Misses.
Okay, I'm gonna use my action surge to flip one of them off.
To an unnecessary barrel.
How dare you!
And I have, I actually have another healing potion. A greater healing you. Oh, I have another healing potion.
A greater healing potion.
Sweet, that's 44 plus four.
And I will pour that down Bev's gullet.
Sweet.
Yeah.
Are you sure?
Yes.
Because I don't want you, I mean,
who would you want?
I can touch handser.
Okay.
Right, end of your turn.
Ulfgar will look at you again and go,
good job, do you want another crack?
Yeah. God, that's really, really do. Yes. End of your turn, Ulfgar will look at you again and go, good job, do you want another crack? Yeah!
God, that's really, really do.
Yes!
Oh, Ulfgar is so nice to fight with you.
I like to motivate people.
Help me succeed in front of my hero.
Let's crack these eggs.
God damn it hurts to not be able to crick.
But I rolled with this advantage.
It's still a 21 to hit.
That hit.
Oh, great.
But I hit, I crit on one.
Okay, Ulf Gar if the goddess didn't put me
in a disadvantage here, I would have fucking crit.
I just want you to know.
I believe you, yeah, yeah, totally man.
21 damage.
Chhh, hard one finished this other angel.
Yes, no, we gotta know this.
No, angel one.
You're done, one.
Nice work, nice work.
I fully swing my hammer through his head and when I come around, I ask Ul want. You're done. Nice work, nice work. I fully swing my hammer through his head
and when I come around, I ask Ulfgar to autograph it.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Both the hammer and head.
Of course, it's always nice to meet a fan.
Ha ha ha.
That is back around to the top of the order
that is the Hollis turn.
She only has one angel with her down on this podium.
Ulfgar is still looking very healthy.
You guys look beat up, but you're pretty resilient.
You keep popping back up, and she looks at you guys
with disgust, and she goes,
you keep fighting me at every turn.
We would be stronger as a united Bahumya.
Yeah, we'd only be united if you saw us at us allies.
Yeah, I do.
No, that is why I came here. You us out as allies. Yeah, I do. No, you know, that's why I came here
You don't want allies. You just want power you want power that isn't yours to use for reasons beyond your control
You don't want to be a god you want to be the god, huh? That was going on
I am the only god that will protect Bohemia if you insist on uniting
Against me then I will just have to separate you will protect Bohemia. If you insist on uniting against me,
then I will just have to separate you.
You see emerging from the shadows in the cave,
there's all this like chaos,
but amongst it, one cool calm figure
in a purple robe walks out into the middle of this Colosseum.
And you see the oligos,
that little trick you pulled back in the Feywild,
sending Alonus to distract me.
Well, it worked in the short term,
but I got my hands on her and she's my weapon now.
You see Alonus lifts her head up.
She's got a white circle around her head
and it's pulsating energy through her.
Her eyes look glazed.
And you guys remember having seen
some of the possible futures that Alonus was showing you guys,
one of them was theala essentially being able to brainwash her
with some kind of technology and control her.
That appears to be what's going on here.
And you see Theologos. A lotis, my friend. Do us a favor and give us a little push.
And you see Ulfgar looks out at Alonus. Just super heartbroken. He goes, Alonus, what are you doing?
What are you doing? And he's not like the smartest guy so he just completely does not see like the glazed eyes or anything
You see Alonus holds her hands up and
there is a
horrible
Burst of psychic energy as the walls of the astral keep
Explode out leaving flying rocks and debris in its wake
blowed out, leaving flying rocks and debris in its wake. You see Mima, Lucana, Jaina, Bronzebeard,
all of the people up in the boxes get blown away
and just a sprint of rocks and space.
Moonshan!
Mima, she flies off.
You guys see that the current box you guys are on with
Thialla stays intact.
There is a white glow to it, like Thialla herself
is protecting it.
But while it stays together, it is not immune to the psychic waves and begins
rocketing out of the exploding keep, out into space. Would you guys like to
stay on the platform or hop off? I am down, I am down. I'm sorry I've been
talking, but it's just because it's hard not to be involved. Okay, so I am down.
Okay, so I'll say, Okay, so I'll say yeah
So you're not unconscious. You're just like down you guys can decide to stay and I'll say you can hang on a moon
China if you want yeah, I'm hanging on it's now or never you guys are staying on the platform
We have to trust me mom that you'll be okay. I mean yeah, I can't do anything about it. I'm down
So um, can I like while this is happening like touch answer and stabilizer? No, we're still in initiative water. Right, cool. Okay, I'm gonna say Ulfgar is going to do,
what is Ulfgar gonna do?
Be cool, man.
I went through a bad breakup too.
I'm gonna say Ulfgar sees Alonus in distress.
He is going to go ahead and do,
I guess like a con save to keep his cool and to stay chill.
Can I give him a little pep talk to get him advantage?
Yeah, if you want to give him advantage.
I give him a really rough shoulder massage.
Yeah, okay.
Okay, this is the all this fault bud.
He gets a 21, how many goes?
That's right, the way the whole person stops the allah.
Yep, yep, yep.
Stay angry but stay smart.
Focus that rage.
And you guys are blown out of the astral keep.
You see that this thing is coming apart.
There's just all of this debris.
You guys are flung out into space
on this flying platform with the Aula.
That was essentially Alonus acting at the top of the order.
So now that is the Dialla proper's turn.
Dialla is going to take some cracks down at,
she knows Bev has heard.
So she can't take that.
Oh gosh, I found it. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh damage. That's down again. That goes down, takes a second attack against hard one.
That is a 22 to hit.
That hits.
35 damage against hard one, takes third attack.
29 to hit hard one.
That is 42 damage against hard one.
That is moonsh against hard one. That is Moon Shine's turn.
Go ahead and give me a death saving throw.
I fail.
That is one fail.
That is end of Moon Shine's turn.
Ulf Gar is going to jump forward
and take a legendary action to take a swing.
Unfortunately, he would yell to you hard one,
but you're at a reaction. Do your thing, man. to take a swing. Unfortunately, he would yell to you hard one, but you're out of reactions.
Do your thing, man.
Um, he takes a swing with disadvantage. Uh, Ulfgar looks rattled.
How could you overpower her? It's impossible. She's the strongest person I know.
Uh, this is just full dragon ballsy. Just impossible.
I've told you, I have ascended to Godhood.
That's Bev's turn, go ahead and give me a desk saving throw.
Okay, come on, give me that 20.
Three, three, that is a fail.
That's for you, three Cree.
Ulf Gars turn, Ulf Gars is going to take three cracks
at Tiola, Jesus, those are bad roles and with disadvantage,
misses on every single attack that is the one remaining
angels turn who's gonna take cracks at hard one.
That is a hit on the first attack.
You're still here.
Yes, I am the only one strong enough to remain.
My faith is strong.
I'd really just jump off the block if I were you.
My faith is strong.
That is 21 damage on the first attack, hard one.
That's cute.
Hits on the second attack.
Adorable, really.
That is 19 damage on the second attack.
End of the Angel's turn.
She is going to take a legendary action to attack you hard one
Shout out to the two crews. She misses first time for everything baby of two crew. You do go number two. So you're not a guy
That is
Balnor's turn
Balnor is going to anybody have potions on them. I have potion on me
I'm just gonna wait did you use mine or did you have a,
I had one.
Oh great, cool, I still got one.
I have a potion or greater healing on me.
Okay, sweet, I'm just gonna go over
pour a potion into moonshine's mouth.
Yes.
As you pop back up,
Ulfgar is going to look at you and go like,
all right, you're back in the game, take a crack.
Okay.
Thank you, Ulfgar.
Do it.
Our true dwarven daddy. in the game, take a crack! Okay. Thank you, Wolfgar. Do it.
Our true dwarven daddy.
Uh, does a, uh, 24 hit.
24, um, does hit. Are you going angel as the Allah?
Um, I'm going, uh, I think I'm going angel.
Yeah, okay.
And I no longer have my other buffs, so I'm down to just three dyes.
18.
18, sweet.
You messed this angel right up.
This angel was not at full health
and she has not healed him.
End of Balnor's turn, she is going to take
another legendary action and crack at hard one.
That is a 23 to hit.
That is 39 damage to hard one.
Looking fucked up now too.
That is hard one's turn.
Okay, via rapport spores I'd like to ask Moonshine,
should I attack or go get Bev's healing thing?
First off, you should definitely either second wind
or look at Bev's amulet.
Yes, how fucked up is this angel looking?
Looking kind of messed up, it would take like a hit or two. I think you should bring up Bev
Bring up Bev
I'm sort of wondering that
I think that's a good idea, but definitely heal yourself up got it. You guys
While you guys are talking and report spores you suddenly hear a voice in your heads go
Jump off fly away. I can help you I trust nothing who the
hell could that be do I hear it even though I'm down can I know if you're gonna
do like an insight yeah go ahead what it means to me whoo that's going to be
23 you can't really make heads or tails of it. It sounds like somebody friendly trying to help.
I got a one, what do I think?
You think it is somebody friendly trying to help.
Cool, I appreciate whoever gave me these gift dice
in Kretsburg, but they're fucking me up.
How do you?
Okay, okay, I'm going to cartwheel round off
backhand spring and put a potion in bus unnecessary
I found it to be absolutely necessary. Oh sweet hard one. How'd you get here so quickly?
I I need to look at your amulet. It's an emergency. Yeah, I know that that's amulet as well
So that's another greater healing. Yeah, so that's 44 plus four. Thanks for getting me back in the order, hard one.
Oh, God, I got it.
Just do something with it.
Ha, ha, ha.
Um, let's see here.
She is going to, I think she's just gotta keep people down.
I'm sorry to keep cracking out the same people,
but she'll take a crack at, I guess, Bev first.
I understand.
That's 30 to hit.
That will hit. I looked up to's 30 to hit. That will hit.
I looked up to you.
And we can still work together. That is 34 damage.
Do you think anyone's coming back from this?
What sort of a managerial tactic is this?
You will only ever court enemies
with this kind of behavior.
I don't care if you're my enemy.
As long as you also hate ill said,
we can all work together.
She takes another swing at best.
I'm already down.
She takes a swing at Moonshan then.
That's 23 to hit.
Does hit.
I'm gonna go down.
That is 41 damage to Moonshan.
Oh, I'm down again.
Third attack goes after hard one.
It's a fucking 31 to hit.
35 damage to hard one, it's a fucking 31 to hit. 35 damage to hard one.
At the end of her turn, Ulf Gargos.
Oh, stay positive, man.
Take an attack, brother.
All right, yeah, smack you on the butt.
Oh, you're gonna have to smack it a lot.
All right, then that's gonna get me amped up.
Oh, I tried. Terrible try in my best. Yes, you're gonna have to smack it a lot
My walls are high and they're thick, but they are not thick enough to not fuel the pain
You hear you hear the voice again in your head hard one jump off. I'll help
I Who are you?
That was
I literally can't do a single action Take my body off. That was the shit. Just fucking kick my body off.
I literally can't do a single action.
Is it my turn right into a reaction?
You just have a reaction making a attack.
So I can attack?
With disadvantage, yeah.
Of course.
On the angel.
Or the alla.
No, I'll attack the angel.
Okay.
I'm gonna send you to the great big grease fryer.
KFC in the sky.
Ha ha ha.
20?
20 hits.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You got this.
21 damage.
Sweet thing is looking messed up.
Keep plucking.
That is moonshine storm.
Moonshine go ahead and give me a death save.
Oh.
Net 20.
Yes!
What happened?
I bought back up with my camera.
Yes, bitch, do I get to do an action?
It is at the beginning of your turn, yes.
Oh, fuck you.
Yes, fuck you, fuck you.
Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.
Excuse you.
Excuse you. OK, first up, are there any plants around?
No, it's space.
Okay, okay, you know what?
Uh, just relax.
Okay, we can all work together.
No, seriously, I actually want to fuck you.
No, this, why if you, if you're earnest
intention in this world,
is that you just wanted to unite everyone
so that we could fight ill, said,
why did you do it with such an iron grip?
Because you wouldn't work with me other ones.
You didn't even try the other way.
You didn't even try.
You think we're so different,
you don't kill your enemies, you don't fight in wars.
Of course I do, I do it to protect the peace of my people.
I do it, I fight so that maybe my people won't have to.
I'm doing it on a grander scale. Once I am finished, there will finally be peace in Bohemia.
Then why then? Then why when you came to the crypt? Why did you send missionaries to the crypt? Why not a
mishap? Why not set up some sort of council? You could talk with people rationally. Why start so
aggressively? And it was such a demanding fieldy rather than earning loyalty.
Il said, is working quickly, I need to work quickly as well.
Yeah, you can be quick with kindness too.
I grabbed Bev and I jumped off.
Oh, you're down, right?
Oh, you're fucking shit, man.
Jesus, that was rad.
As you jump off, she goes, no! And reaches out and you see Ulfgar grabs her and like stops her from going after you guys
So mad at her. I thought she just was power hungry, but now she's just more fucking complicated
And I'm so pissed off. She's a fucking bureaucrat is what she is
Moonshine you fucking hop off with Bev there are psychic winds everywhere What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that?
What is that?
What is that?
What is that?
What is that?
What is that?
What is that?
What is that?
What is that?
What is that?
What is that?
What is that?
What is that?
What is that?
What is that?
What is that?
What is that?
What is that?
What is that?
What is that?
What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? Are we still within 60 feet of hard one? As you jump off, you can do something to hard one too.
Yeah, okay, I'm gonna do a mask here, wounds,
me, Bev, hard one, and Balnor if he needs it.
That was fucking right.
Very cool.
I got chills from Jesus.
So everyone gets 23.
Nice, thank you.
Moonshine pops Bev back up, gives everybody 23 HP and hops off.
Hey Bev, sorry, just trust me on this one.
There's a voice speaking in my head and I know that we shouldn't trust strange voices.
I know that they tend to seduce, but I don't know.
It just seemed better than working with the all.
Also the all is super complicated and I just wanted to get out of that situation.
Yeah, that's the way of it.
Are we falling?
Oh yeah, hi, we're falling.
Okay, you guys are in just crazy psychic wins.
This crazy storm.
That is Bebs turn, but I'm gonna catch up with you guys
after we get out of combat.
Unless Beb wants to do anything to the combat thing
or heal yourself, you can do that.
Or you can do that.
I'm at 24.
I'm gonna touch hands.
Sweet.
Moonshine for 40 touch hand. Sweet. Moon shine for 40.
Okay.
Sweet.
And I guess maybe I'll go ahead and look
at my amulet while we're falling.
Yeah, that's good.
Okay, that's good.
That is Ulfgar's turn.
And Ulfgar's turn, he's going to take three cracks
at this injured angel.
He has disadvantage, but he adds a lot to attack.
So he's still going to hit.
You see, he finishes off this last angel.
It's just off-guard and Theala up there.
Off-guard turns to you, hard one and goes,
I don't know if I could finish her off here,
but I can hold her off long enough
and then just jump off into space.
Get the fuck outta here, man.
Pat's the on the butt.
Okay.
That is actually Balnor's turn but a
Balnor is gonna I'll say he'll hop on hard ones back so you guys will kind of
um share roles as you guys try to navigate this fucking psychic wind um hard
one that is your turn um so I'm going through the wind or have I not jumped off
yet you've not jumped off yet um and the alo looks at you and she goes I would have
blessed you I would have blessed your weapons we could have gone into hell and killed.
It'll set together. Hey, I can't say any of this stuff as eloquently as my friend Moon Shank did, but
I'll just say ditto and fuck you, you're a loser.
I'll turn left, you're like, oh, you're the tree, shut up!
And I can't involve with Balnor off the course.
We, um, Balnor and, uh and hard one, jump off the platform.
You guys are floating in space.
Astral Keep is completely destroyed.
You guys are way far away from it.
You don't see Lucana's.
You don't see Mima.
You don't see anyone.
They're just tiny specks as everybody flies off.
I'm doing some perception checks for Mima.
So you guys are gonna need to do intelligence checks
just to not like get thrown into some random fucking
portal or something. So here is what is going to happen now as you guys are caught in these insane psychic wins.
What has essentially happened is you guys have been like thrown off a boat in the middle of a
terrible storm. Another name for the astral plane is the astral sea. So all around you is just
an enemy essentially. Yeah. So you guys see as you fly off into enemy, essentially, yeah.
So you guys see, as you fly off into this psychic storm,
you do see off-guard Enthiola going out.
It just explosions of God energy.
As you see, everyone disappear,
like tiny ants in the wind.
You guys are immediately separated
as you jump off the platform because of the psychic winds
and they're just being like a
A brief couple seconds between you guys jumping off and
Munchine and Beverly jumping off so hard one and Balnor are attached Balnor is on hard ones back
So hard one will make the checks and Balnor will go wherever hard one goes
Munchine was holding Beverly do you guys want to separate and make your own checks?
Or do you want to stick together and make one check?
Um, how about I cast guidance on myself? Yeah.
And then I do a check for both of us. Okay. So then I'll have a plus four plus a D four.
Okay. Here's what I'm gonna say. Everybody's gonna need to make four intelligence
saving throws, and that will determine kind of how much you can navigate.
moonshine if you're going to take a moment to cast a spell,
that's going to give you disadvantage on the first check.
So that is up to you.
Do you want to make individual intelligence checks?
Could I cast a spell and have her do the check?
You can if you're like hanging on to Moonshine.
OK, let me do that.
I'm going to cast Bless on Moonshine.
Sweet.
Bev clings to Moonshine and casts Bless on her,
so she gets a D4.
Moonshine, go ahead and make your first intelligence
saving throw.
19.
19.
That passes.
Give me another one.
Oh, yeah.
23.
Jesus, you passed the second one.
Come and give me a third one.
29.
Jesus, you passed the third one.
Moonshine, fourth one.
I did get a NAT1.
OK.
Does that do you want me to add up the stuff?
Oh, NAT1. OK. That's going to want me to add up the stuff stuff? Oh, NAT one, okay.
That's gonna be an auto fail on this,
but that's okay.
So you failed one out of four.
Yeah.
Pretty good.
Thank you for that blessing.
Just like Mudboarden.
Who's Skyser if in?
So moonshine.
As you're in open space, without like hopping on
or hiding behind any debris or asteroids or anything,
you are just getting flung around.
By passing these saving throws, you're able to direct yourself at something solid so you can stop and not just be flung
into the abyss essentially. So with saving three out of four, you're gonna have three choices out of the possible four directions.
You could have gone. Go ahead and roll me a D4 and that will be the one that you can't pick.
Two.
Two. Okay. So Moonshine, you see Go ahead and roll me a D4 and that will be the one that you can't pick two two
Okay, so moonshine you see
Three different areas that you can go to you see an astral pool of rippling ruby energy
It looks to be some kind of plain-argate. You see the asteroid debris around the color portal is spinning like a whirlpool
That's one you see another another solid object floating through the air.
This is an enclosed battleship.
There's no open deck with sails that look like insect wings
and do not appear to be made out of solid material.
Looks like there's some kind of energy.
There's also a battling ram out of the front
of the bow that looks quite menacing.
You also see a ghostly white husk floating through space.
You can see through it, but it does appear
to have some kind of substance to it.
You can see bits of cosmic debris sticking to it.
It looks like a giant humanoid,
like the husk of some dead monster or something like that.
It's about 16 feet tall and it's cracked like a husk or a shell.
I have what are you feeling?
I love you by the way.
This is a really scary situation.
What do you feel like?
I'm glad we're here together.
Well, the portal seems like it's going to take us somewhere else,
which would be safe, but it would separate us.
The battleship seems like it could be good,
because we could use that.
This husk seems like a real toss up.
It could be good or bad.
The ship looks like it has people, something in it.
Yes, we would have to sort of diplomatically work
with these people.
The portal could just send us to hell,
but perhaps anywhere is better than where we are now.
And then the husk again.
We're real toss up.
We're real fucking toss up.
Can I do it inside?
Check on the husk or do you know what?
Inside our perception checks is you guys
look forward
Shout out to the two crew. I got a 14. Yeah
14
Moonshine you could have at the very least to see the husk is pretty much see through you see that
there could be like a
Thing or two lying in weight there, but
Like a huge army couldn't hide there. Like it's mostly, it's mostly see-through.
This is the stupidest fucking thing ever.
When the plan goes bust, go for the husk.
We're going for the husk.
You guys fly up towards the husk.
I don't know if I can stoop it.
Do best portal and do best battleship,
and we go for the husk.
Too many variables, go for the husk.
Hard one, go ahead and give me four
intelligence saving throws.
Bailnor, cast bless on me quickly.
We're so screwed dude.
No!
Oh, that's, I subtract one from intelligence.
So that's a 13.
A 13, a 13 passes. A 13 passes.
Okay.
That is the DC.
All three is not gonna do it.
Okay, three doesn't do it.
Either does it in eight.
Ooh, okay, that's two fails.
18.
18 passes.
Okay, two passes, two passes.
So go ahead and roll the D4 twice,
and these are the choices that you have.
One, two. Okay, so three and four. So go ahead and roll the D4 twice and these are the choices that you have One
Two okay, so three four okay same as us
So um he cannot get to where you guys are oh
Hard on the order you see anything about husk. I don't see any kind of hush
I don't see a husk god damn it. I think I see your shit floating over there, Donald.
Let's grab the ground.
No, it's just some rocks.
Hard one.
You see with the two saves an astral pool of rippling ruby energy, the planar gate, the
red one.
And you also see something that they did not see.
You see a giant floating cave
on an asteroid. It looks a bit like the astral keep, but cruder. Like it doesn't look like a
castle or anything. It looks like a cave. And you hear a voice coming from the cave, the same one
you've been hearing in your head go you're so close come to me.
I really didn't want this to be the choice but hell we listen to you this far.
I'll go towards the voice.
Sweet. Hard one.
You and Boundore fly up to this giant floating cave.
It almost looks like a mollusk shell
It's big and rounded at the top then extends down to an opening at the bottom
And you are at the mouth of it. It is very dark inside
And you hear the voice go hurry and bring your friends
There's not much time. Okay down over here. we're here, you can let go of me.
Ah, you see Moonshine and Dev?
He looks out into infinite space.
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Okay, that's it for me.
Go team pants and enjoy the show.
Let's cut over to Bevin Moonshine.
So you guys
land on this husk.
This ghostly white shell
floating through space.
As you guys land on it,
go ahead and give me a perception check as you get close.
I wanna know everything about this.
Yep.
I gotta be honest.
It's a four.
19.
19.
Munchain, this looks like a giant goblin husk.
A giant goblin husk?
Yeah, like a giant spectral goblin.
A small jelly, oh, a spectral goblin.
Yeah, oh.
Like it's, it looks dead.
What does it feel like to be on it? What's the texture like? Is it like a ball pit, like a foam ball pit? No, it's a spectral god. Yeah, oh, like it's, it looks dead. What does it feel like to be on it?
What's the texture like?
Is it like a ball pit, like a foam ball?
No, it is.
It's, what strange choices he has.
Yeah, multiple choice.
Is a weird way to describe it, but it's a little like crispy.
Is it like when a like a crab sheds its skin or something?
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
So you guys also see.
The tightness exoskeleton.
What?
You guys see a strange humanoid woman in a silver robe
looking extremely beat up and bound into dimensional shackles.
She has light green skin with some darker green
discolorations that almost look like tattoos.
She is bald with black eyes and her nose is slitted like a pig's.
Oh my.
You see, her mouth is not covered.
You see, she's just like on the ground
and she goes,
Motel's, what brings you to the astral plane?
Well, we were here for a meeting.
It's not a cosmic battle.
Yeah, meeting turn.
You were at the astral keep.
Yeah.
You saw it.
Who are you?
What has been done to you?
Well, my friends kind of beat the shit out of me.
Oh, I see.
I'm so sorry.
Are you...
Oh, shh.
Should we free her?
I'm going to go ahead and cast a zone of truth if she's willing.
Oh, sweet.
That's good.
Yeah.
You cast a zone of truth on her, and she goes...
I'm so sorry to cast us for us to be cast and smell.
No, you're right to be wary.
There are many dangers in the hospital playing.
Yeah.
It almost seems as tricky as the Feywild itself.
Mmm. Don't pick the sunflowers.
Indeed.
I don't see it anymore.
But OK.
Who are you?
Tell us your story, please.
My name is Salis.
I am from an ancient race called the Gith, who resides on the astral plane.
There are two groups of us.
The Gizari and the Githyanki.
I am Gizari. the Githyanki.
I am Gisari.
We seek the knowledge of the multiverse, the Githyanki seek to plunder its riches, and
we have been at war for a long time.
We have a greater enemy, however, the mind flares who seek to consume our knowledge. My order of Gizari decided to work with the Githyonky on a coordinated
attack against the mind flares, elder brain, but I refused, so everyone just kind of beat
the shit out of me and left me here.
So everyone was trying to get you to work with your enemy against a common enemy. That would be correct.
I mean, oh yeah.
Fucking shit. I just, I gotta tell you I was just in that situation.
Yeah, flipping.
And I started to feel real conflicted about it.
Deja Vu, it is difficult. I decided not to compromise my values. I don't know if it was the right choice,
but they did beat me with reads and leave me on this husk so well I don't know maybe I was
right it's fine it's hilarious honestly we got beat with swords which it's
arguably worse but yeah yeah to godhood yes what do you think of her you see
so the truth can't lie yeah she thinks about it she thinks about it. She thinks about it for a long time.
And she goes, as a thought experiment,
I am always interested when a mortal can
ascend to Godhood,
but I worry about the balance of the universe.
I believe keeping the gods at a distance
is safer for everyone involved.
What about Melora? She wanders around amongst mortals.
Melora is also a mortal who ascended to Godhood.
Munch, did you know that?
I don't think I knew that.
Wow, it's good to have an example of how to do it right, though.
Melora, did you do it? Did you do it right? Did you just hit the all?
She killed this very God.
It gestures down to this, the goblin husk.
Malora killed this God.
Bargurvik, God of the goblins.
Malora killed this God.
Malora and many other Aladren, yes.
For what purpose?
It was an evil goblin god that was bringing terror to the
Feywild.
Damn.
OK.
I just want to fast track this because I'm kind of putting a
lot of thoughts on my thought back burner right now.
If we try to release you from these dimensional shackles,
which honestly they look clever, so I don't know if we'll be able to. Will you attack us or will you try to
trick us in some way? Unless you plan on hurting me or my people or disturbing
the balance of the astroplane. I see no reason. While you laughing at me. Is there
something about the way I talk? Yeah you've just got an affectation that's somewhat ticklish.
Yeah, your snout kind of wiggles when you talk. It's fun.
It's not a snout, it's just a nose.
Your nostrils kind of flare, right?
All right, report spores, Bev.
Yeah.
Should we free her?
Let's ask a couple more questions.
Okay, yeah.
So, Salis, if we free you, do you have any means of helping us
find our friends or just traversing space at all? I think we could work together, at least for
this short stint. I could certainly help you find your friends, and I have the answers to
great many mysteries of the universe. Is this husk kind of like a ship that we could use,
or is it more of just like a thing that's floating in space?
Yeah, this is more of a thing that's floating in space. Okay. Um, could you teach me how to read?
Yes, that might take a moment. Okay. We got to get back to our friends. Okay. Show me them shackles. We want to set you free. She holds
Her arms out. Okay. Um, can we does it look want to set you free. She holds her arms out.
Okay, can we, does it look like someone
we can just attack off of her?
Yeah.
All right, let's hack at them.
Yep.
Does a 20 hit?
20 hits, yeah.
I'll say you guys are out of combat.
You just take some time.
Okay, okay.
Thank you.
Start, you break apart her shackles.
Okay. Uh, you are free.
We won't hit you with reads.
Thank you. I hate reads.
Reads are for playing. Yes.
Beautiful songs. Not hitting.
Absolutely.
There's a member of the Githyonky named Reed who loves to use a
read and it's super annoying.
We will make sure that they are punished accordingly. with Yankee named Reed, who loves to use a read, and it's super annoying. Ah!
Um.
We will make sure that they are punished accordingly.
Okay, well.
Who is the one that I'm looking for?
That's what I was gonna say now that we've helped you,
perhaps you can help us.
We're looking for someone named Harwan Sherfut.
You see, she goes into meditation.
There might be two versions of him in the sort of
multiverse. One is a half elf, one is a half-elf, one is
a human we're looking for the half-elf.
Interesting.
A reincarnation spell.
But it's just the one.
I'm just getting one pain.
Okay, good.
Okay, yeah.
That's very good.
How space time works.
Okay.
So remember how I was saying that the Gith yonky and the gizzerai are
Working together on a raid of the mind flares elderbrain you did mention that yes
Your friend is at the cave of the elderbrain and
That is bad. I'm gonna say yeah, I'm gonna agree with you on that. Um, can you get us there?
We're gonna cut over to hard one.
Hard one, you do not know what's going on.
It has been a couple minutes of these two guys talking.
Hard one, you hear the voice, go, come on,
what are you waiting for?
Be there in a minute, Christ, what's with the rush?
You're on my friends to come or not.
I do.
Okay, I'm just coming here and I can help you get them here.
I don't know, I feel like this is, it's good to be visible.
One moment, one moment, I don't know what the rush is.
After like a beat of like waiting outside this cave, not being sure what to do. There's almost like a sand storm of like asteroid debris out in the astro plane.
You can't see what's going on.
You're kind of just waiting, hoping they're scrying on.
You were figuring it out.
This voice keeps talking to your head.
And you see after a little bit, two like call of cthulhu type monsters come out wearing black robes and they go
come inside and meet the old brine.
Oh, is that who was talking to me?
Yes.
Hi, alright.
What are your names, little buggers?
I'm not a little bugger.
My name is bugger.
I'm a big bugger.
Yeah, that's my man.
Alright, follow me in. One, one, one, one, one, one, one, one. Yeah. I'm just, I'm trying to mucker. Yeah, that's my man. All right, follow me in.
One, one, one, something.
I'm just, I'm trying to flag down my friends.
I think I see them just around the bend.
So we're just gonna hang back one beat.
Why don't you go ahead and tell the elder brain
that we'll be right in in five.
Can you do that, big mucker?
You see, the one mind-flair looks at the other one and then looks back at you do that, big bugger? You see, um, the one mind flayer looks at the other one, um, and then looks back at you and goes,
You're coming with us now.
Oh, oh no, I don't respond well to threats.
Ah, go ahead and roll initiative.
Oh! I'm glad I gave you a little cure once before I left.
Yeah, 18. Hard one that is your turn, you're first.
Oh man, you're really not going to want to fuck with a hard one and ball nor the your first. Yeah, you're really not gonna want fuck with hard one and Balnor the Braille
That's right. I'm gonna swing my hammer at one of these
I'm gonna swing my hammer at big bugger
We could have been friends in another life 19 19 hits
13 damage
nice
And I'll take I'll take the take the next two attacks.
Sweet.
Shout out to the two crew and the three crew.
Yeah, what is a three crew get you?
Cause they don't have great armor.
That gets me 14.
14 does not do it.
Cool, that is Bounder's turn.
Bounder's gonna charge forward at the same one.
Makes two attacks.
Fucking crits.
That's what's up, boy.
We're not going in your weird cave.
Yes.
Coming to our weird cave.
We're gonna do it on our own time.
Ha, ha, ha.
That is their turn.
They are going to go ahead and make tentacle attacks
on Balnor.
You see tentacles extend out from their face. Gee, it's really bad. Notice you had those
Watch not weird. No one said it was weird. Oh, it's cool, man. Oh, you're so sensitive
We can relate on that
First one hits Balnor does 14 damage to him
Tentacle wraps around him
Balnor is stunned. You see Balnor's eyes go like white. He's just stuck there.
Buddy, Boundor, bud. This second one is going to go ahead and do a tentacle attack on you.
That's only 16-hit misses. That is back or any you hard one. All right, look, we can either fight
or you guys can wait 10 minutes
What's the what is it? I'm gonna attack the one that I thought you said five minutes see you give them five they take ten
I'll attack the one that has its tentacle around
27 to hit.
Super hits.
Nice.
Smack.
20 damage.
Yo.
I'm looking pretty hurt.
Great.
I'll attack him again.
16 to hit.
Super hits.
14 damage.
15 damage.
Looking very hurt.
Okay.
Final attack.
23 to hit.
Super hits.
23 damage.
Hard one, finish this, mind flare.
Okay.
Sick.
I wish I knew how to write.
But I'll take the tip of my throwing ax
and carve Mo into his forehand and hurl him into space.
Yeah. Flies him into space. Yeah.
Flys off into space.
That is Bound or turn.
Bound or recovers.
He's going to attack.
Look at the two attacks.
Misses on the first one.
Hits on the second one.
Does a big nine damage.
That is this mine flares turn.
Mine flares is going to do a tentacle attack on you.
Shout out to the two crew misses.
That's your turn.
Hell yeah.
Go join.
Are you sure you don't want to talk to our brain mommy?
Cause she's really cool.
I'm gonna talk to your brain mommy.
I'm just gonna do it on my own time.
Yeah.
You're gonna say your own time.
What do I say five minutes?
What do I say five minutes?
And now you're saying time.
And now you're saying your own time.
I said five minutes.
I'll do it when I'm ready
Just stand it outside our cave. You're going up to somebody's front lawn your desperation make me not want to go is the thing
No, it's cool. It's fun. Can I just grab weird? I'm gonna try to throw him in
Everything's normal. Yeah, go ahead and make a crowd check
It's only a 10. He escapes your grass. Limey little fuck. Can I try to get that's it. Yeah, that's a shove attack
So you can just make another attack you do know that everybody can fly here kind of although there are like there's like a psychic storm
Essentially, so it might they might get long away long. Yeah, that's why I so yeah sweet go ahead and make another shove attack
That's a 19 19 will do it you shove this mind flair
I'll have it do an intelligence saving throw it and I'll get flung away
It does get it has a plus seven. I'll say it's DC 15. So it's got to get eight or higher. Okay
It's a 12 flies right back. That is Boundore's turn
Boundore makes two cracks at it misses on the first one hits on the second one does a big six damage
That is mine fare's turn.
Mind Flare tries to grab you with a tentacle.
Oh, you have no patience.
Mrs. That's your turn again.
All right, we'll try to hit him on the head with a hammer.
Sweet.
19.
Sweet.
A 17.
Go.
And a 23.
Those all hit, right?
All three hit.
Yeah.
48 damage.
Whoo. This thing is on Death's Door. That is Bounder's turn. 23, those all hit right? All three hit. Yeah, 48 damage. Whew.
This thing is on Death's Door.
That is Bounder's Turn.
Finish him, Bounder.
Bounder, Crypt.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You see Bounder goes up, you guys are weird
and we don't want to meet your mom.
Many slices, it's tentacles off and then kicks it off
into space.
Patience is a virtue.
And then you hear the voice in your head again, go, you don't want to meet your brain, mommy?
I totally do.
You just, you're gonna make your brain, mommy, wait.
You creep this out by sending your weird little minions up here.
They are weird, aren't they?
It's a strange way to be received.
I mean, we're not weird.
We're not weird.
Nothing is weird.
I'm getting bad vibes, honestly.
Really? Telling us. Coming the dark cave. Alright, well, I'm being right weird. We're not weird. Nothing is weird. I'm getting bad vibes, honestly. Really?
We're only going to screw you out.
Come in the dark cave.
All right, well, be right there.
Come in the dark cave.
I'll be right there.
I've already said this.
If we're setting it for five minutes,
you could be five minutes.
Set a timer for five minutes.
Okay, I'm just setting it.
I pressed the Siri button on my speaking sound.
Okay, so Moon Chinatown, Bev, you get a ping
on where hard one in Belonore.
How quick can you get us there?
I have the ability to cast teleports, but I cannot teleport us back.
So we need to essentially go get them and then figure it out.
That's okay.
We want to figure it out.
Okay, teleport us and while we go, I just have one more question.
Yes.
Can you get a ping on someone
a Mima? Um, you have scry. You're scry? Yeah. Scrysize. Oh, can I scry? A Mima? Yeah. While we teleport? Uh-huh.
Yeah. Okay. Okay. Sweet. I scry. Scry. Scry. Scry. Scry. Scry. Scry. Scry. Scrysize. Scrysize. Okay. Scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, scraw, debris and everything, but she has grabbed on to like an asteroid and there are no angels
around her.
She looks safe.
Thank, Melora, although maybe Melora's bad.
So thank, me ma.
Okay, let's tell her for baby.
Okay, sweet.
Can we bring the husk?
Can we bring the husk, please?
Come on, let's bring the husk.
The husk is really big.
Do you really want to-
I know that it was your prison cell, but-
Alright, we can bring the husk.
Ha ha ha.
Yeah.
I high-fight the husk.
Hard one, you see.
Hard one, you see.
Moonshine Beverly.
Show up with an alien woman on a giant dead goblin.
My god, what a husk.
Balmore, ain't she a bute?
Never seen anything.
Never seen a husk like that.
Oh my god.
Yeah, this is where the older brain lives.
We should leave.
Oh, yeah.
There's a voice trying to get us to go into a cave.
She being really particular about the times.
She's obsessed with the times.
She keeps on calling herself the brain mommy.
Oh, yes, she's weird like that.
I got a spell that can get us all out of here.
Oh, great.
But I don't even know where to go.
I don't even know what is safe and what is not.
Tell you what, this cave does not feel safe.
So anywhere is better than here, sister.
I can cast a six-level wind walk. You and up to 10 willing creatures you can see within range,
assume a gaseous form for the duration, which is eight hours, appearing as wisps of cloud. While
in cloud form, we have a flying speed of 300 feet. Wow. So we can essentially just fly super far
somewhere else. I don't know where else to go. Can we take the husk?
Yeah, I think we can.
We gotta take the husk.
We gotta take the husk.
I'm not going anywhere without this husk.
Sweet.
With win walk, you guys all take a gaseous form.
You're no longer flung by the crazy disturbance
in the astral plane, and you're able to get far, far away
from the elder brain, as you just hear the voice
getting quieter, quieter in your head.
It's been five minutes.
Six minutes.
Do you guys think this is right?
It's right.
Do you think?
Because this brain essentially said it was gonna help save us.
It's a creepy little savant.
Yeah, you hear nothing to do.
Your salus goes, oh don't trust the mother brain.
She's very bad.
Okay.
She tries to lure you there so that she can eat your memories.
Oh!
Oh!
Well, maybe she could select if we eat a couple.
Oh, I have a few memories that she could have.
If you like,
Well, it's not a card for sure.
It's not really an all-it-card thing.
It's sort of she just eats your brain.
And you die.
Hard one weighs the options.
Where are we going, Salis?
I don't know.
Salis, I am, you are maybe the only person that I can think to ask where we should go.
I trust the husk.
Okay, let's ask the husk.
Husk.
Husk.
Husk.
Husk.
Where is safe for us to go?
I fear this God has been dead for a long time and its divine heart has been plucked from its body.
That's beautiful.
Yeah, hate to hear that.
Do we want to try and go back and rescue Ulfgar and Alonis?
I'm not going to miss.
Are you considering facing Theala because she is in fact a real actual God.
I don't know if you think that she's just kind of saying that and is actually powerful, but
she does go number two. Yeah, is an actual God with a divine heart. Unfortunately, I think her dumps might be
extremely powerful radiant dumps. With a divine heart. Yeah, Bev, go ahead and give me a history check. Okay.
It's a 15. You have read about this term divine heart
in your book about osmodeus.
Oh.
A passage comes to mind.
You mean in my,
in your book about demons and archdemons?
Divine heart.
You're saying that Melora ripped the divine heart
out of this goblin king.
You see
Salus nods
And is that how someone kills a god and descends to godhood?
And whose divine heart did the allistial?
Asmodiasus
And whose divine heart did ill said steel?
He'll said does not have a divine heart ill Ilsaid is not a true God. Ilsaid commands the Nine
Hells by Lording over the Devils there. He has a powerful magic item called the Hellfire
Crown, but other than that, he is not a true God.
So you're saying that the Aalus is just a devil wearing angels wings. It's not quite that simple.
That was really fucking cool. That was that was that was rad. I agree that it was rad. Thank you.
But I am I was thinking of tattoo. Thank you. I like to be very dry and verbose if you can believe it.
I know, I know.
You see she goes, a divine heart is not necessarily good or evil to explain how gods get their
power.
I must first describe and she's saying this all very slow.
I can make a visual aid if you want.
I sell it to Trans.
This is happening.
Yes, I'm a very visual person.
Okay.
You see she flicks her wrist and there's an image
of a glowing yellow rock that appears.
And she goes to describe how Thialla achieved Godhood
on the to explain how the universe was created
in the first place.
Magic is an element just like fire or water
or air or earth.
There is a physical form to it.
As you've seen,
if you've ever made spell components or anything like that.
The multiverse started as a concentrated mass of magic.
And there was a cosmic explosion
that created the primordials, aka the gods.
You see the little yellow ball that she's holding,
bursts into large chunks.
And from them, the gods form.
You see an image of Moradin taking shape as a dwarf,
cord as a mighty Viking, the Raven Queen, etc.
And she continues and goes,
the gods then made mortals in their image using bits from their own divine hearts.
You see from the large chunks of magic that made the gods
come smaller bits of dust that form the various mortals.
So from Morton's Divine Heart comes the dwarves,
various forms of eladrin and elves come from arathas,
palore makes humans and halflings, and she goes,
obviously, the gods are innately more magical. They were created from essentially larger rocks
of concentrated magical, while the rest of us were created by its dust. The rocks are called
divine hearts. This is what gives gods their power. The only way for a human to ascend to Godhood is to kill God and to steal their heart,
and that is exactly what the Allah has done.
Is there a way to destroy a divine heart?
I don't know. Anyone who's had the chance to take one has just taken it for themselves.
The Allah pretended to destroy it in front of Al-Anas and Aufkar, but amended it.
How do you know all this?
The Githzerai have a shared psychic connection
if one of us knows something, all of us know it.
Wow, so like if somebody's going to the bathroom?
Yes, there are approximately 937 Githzerai
taking dumps right now.
355 of them are runny.
Oh, Jesus.
No one just taken a simple P.
Wow.
Oh, there are 1,327 Gith Sarai taking P's right now.
What a curse.
All of them are runny.
Beautiful knowledge.
I mean, I would hope
But yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm like a huge yeah, no, no, they're solid. That's good. Let me check
Oh, all right. No salad. You guys have healthy tracks amongst your people right there checks out. Okay, so
Y'all I really really it does it brings me no joy to say this, but I don't think
that we are strong enough to face the y'all.
Not even with this husk.
Can I do an inside check?
I'm like, I do an inside check on the husk.
Sure.
To see if it has magical properties of eight.
That's a good question.
Ooh, okay, 21.
It is, yeah, it has magical properties.
This is a primordial beings body.
If you were to bring a divine heart to it,
which would be fucking really hard to get.
If you like killed Polora,
you could maybe bring it back to life or something.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Oh, no, no, no, but this was an evil God.
We're not bringing this guy back.
Yeah.
Correct, it was evil. Yeah, correct. It was evil
Yeah, within the context in your eyes, but you seem
You tried to burn the spring and summer courts. Okay, that's pretty evil play everyone. Yeah, so maybe Melores kind of a hero
Melores, I think Melores great. Oh, that's nice. That's good. Okay, so there can be good gods
I think Malore is great. Oh, that's nice.
That's good.
Okay, so there can be good gods.
There's many good gods.
Okay, yeah, good, great.
The Allah is giving everybody a bad name,
but it's really, she's like the only one that sucks.
Yeah.
There's many bad gods.
Oh, really?
Yeah, I'll have to kill them all.
Let's focus on the Allah for now.
Okay.
Moon Shrine's right, though.
I don't think that as much as I hate to admit it,
we don't have the strength right now,
and knowing that she's not a false god,
she's a god thief, I don't think that we can take her
at the moment.
So can we just, this, the admitting that she's a god,
that'll just be like internal dialogue, right?
Yeah.
Because I think in front of her, we gotta keep the United Front.
Okay, yeah, Rebors Bors, yeah, yeah.
Uh-huh. I'm working on some razzis for next time. Yeah, like internally, we's about to hurt. We gotta keep the United Front. Okay, yeah, we're worse more. Yeah, yeah, uh-huh.
I'm working on some razzis for next time. Yeah, like internally. We're shaking in our boots. Yeah. All right, cool.
Cool, cool. Where can we get to?
Should we just try to go somewhere and rest up? Like perhaps we could just find somewhere hospitable to kind of
have some sort of a
Game plan. Do you want to sleep in the husk?
Yeah.
One big husk?
One big husk?
One big husk?
One big husk.
One big husk.
One big husk.
You guys all go to sleep in the husk.
I only need a quick eight hour trance.
Exactly.
Saying this to solace.
You guys take, as you guys are doing your rest,
you only need, Moontjana only needs four hours to rest.
You guys only need six hours of actual sleep,
but you can have two hours of just kind of resting.
And you see, as you guys are sitting around
kind of patching up your wounds after today's insane battle,
you see Salis has her legs crossed
and is looking off into the distance
and she goes, obviously, as a member of the Githurai,
I much prefer the company of my own people
to the Githyonky, but I have many ways
in which I feel that I am alone.
Many ways, well.
How so?
Where do you feel out of step with your people?
My people wish to maintain the balance of the multiverse.
In darkness, there is light and light, there is darkness and whatnot.
I can get into that.
And Melor is all about that harmony.
Yes.
Death and life and
walking between. I would say my own opinions would be that we should work to close the
lower plains, to close pandemonium, to close the nine hills. Would that bring about an
imbalance that would eventually overflow.
The All is a prime example that new gods will rise,
new enemies will always poke their heads,
but that doesn't mean that hell will ever be good.
I don't, yeah, I think that trying to fix hell is a task too great for any mortal,
but we've been to hell.
We've been to Shadowfell.
No, Shadowfell is not the Nine Hells.
So you would keep Shadowfell open?
Shadowfell is much different than the Nine Hells.
But where do you draw the line?
How do you make that kind of decision?
My people have asked the same question.
It is my opinion that I would close the gate to the nine hells if I could.
And at what point do you not just keep
closing off other realms?
I mean, at what point do you not say,
well, you know what, Shadowfell's got some bad seeds.
Guess we're gonna shut that down too,
because we got friends down there.
I'm going door you're gonna lock the next door,
then you lock all the windows.
And you know what, you got a boat around your house.
She not, she, she, she, she, she, she,? She's not going to the goddamn grocery store.
She nods.
She nods and she goes, you should talk to the monks of my order.
I think you would share a lot of the same opinions.
We don't like it any more than you do, but as soon as you start closing doors, you close
your own heart and I don't think we can ever allow ourselves to do that
I guess I just think hell is bad
I agree I agree with you on that
But I just I don't see how if we if we agree to close hell how we don't then close shadow fell and like I say
We've got friends in shadow fell and I know that it's in fucking rank place, but I don't know.
Yeah, I mean, hey, I don't even know if hell's bad,
I haven't been there yet.
Is there even a way to close to fully seal a plane?
Or would you destroy it?
I think if someone were to take up the mantle
of the Nine Hells, they could choose to disconnect it
from the multiverse.
That temptation's always gonna be too great though.
We've seen it with theala.
I don't know.
This is a lot for us.
This is a lot, yeah.
Endgame stuff, guys.
Yeah, big stuff.
You're saying the only person that could close the gate
to hell is the person that's ruling hell? I believe so. Since they all has that divine heart,
is she technically the ruler of hell? No, she is not the ruler of hell. That's ill said.
So ill said could choose to separate. Where's the crown? But ill said's eyes are on the material plane. His goal is to get back to rule the crown jewel of the gods, the material plane, the only plane that the original primordial created together.
It is the greatest triumph. It is the goal of all of the evil deities to rule it again. I guess right now, I feel so
conflicted about theala that I'm not really thinking about.
Hell as much.
Is that weird?
I mean, well, we saw theala today.
Yeah.
She's freshen her mind for sure.
Reasonsy bias and whatnot.
Sure. Wow.
It's clever way to put it.
That's cool.
Ha, ha, ha. But it's true. I mean, the
Alice goals are clear, but I don't like anyone's methods. Yeah. I'm feeling very small right now.
It's smaller than usual. Yeah, I'm feeling like I don't have it in me. Like, I don't have the
wisdom to make these big choices.
Yeah, you look out into infinite space. You see portals to different realms. The world has never looked bigger. This is insane. You didn't even know that the Gith is a rye or the Gith
Yankee existed. This is... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If we've got a whole thing with the
elder brain and such, it's really involved and very dry. Yeah. Can you want some
like moisturiser or something? You look literally dry. Okay, your hands are chapped.
Yes, I am just out in space.
I would love some kind of touch hands,
put some of my holy unction on solace.
What role do y'all play in this cosmology?
What effect do y'all have on the mortal plane?
I suppose we don't have much effect on the material plane at all, but there are
our travelers. We try to stop ones with evil intentions. We try to stop the
Githyonky from raiding other planes of their treasure. We're very distracted
constantly by fighting mineflares who seek to erase our knowledge from the world.
And we seek to enlighten people like yourselves who are friends.
Okay, well, to try to narrow the microscope, we believe that we want to save the knowledge of
these people, right? We want to save as many people as we can.
Should we help these guests arrive, protect their memories?
I think so.
I think that we could definitely help them out.
But what I think we need in return is we need knowledge and we need guidance for some big decisions.
We're going to have to make very soon.
And I think that we need your help finding Ulfgar and Alannas because they've been through
this and they have knowledge of mistakes and triumphs that we don't have yet.
And before we can do anything, we need them.
Sweet.
How about this?
If you help us get Alannas and Ulfgar, we will help you destroy the mind flayer.
To finally destroy the brain mommy.
Now that would be a great boon to my people.
And that would get us your assistance in retrieving
Alonus and Ulfgar from Theala.
We're not asking you to kill Theala,
we're just asking you to help us retrieve them.
You see, she nods, crosses her legs, and um...
Oh, your knees are so dry too.
Hold on.
Yes.
Yeah, we got a lotion that, uh...
Hold on, I'm not...
You lotion her knees.
Oh, I don't know how you saw that.
You saw that through the...
Through the...
I don't know how you saw that through the robe.
The flakes are getting on the outside.
Wow.
I could just hear the chafing.
Yeah.
She goes and she begins meditating.
She pulls you all into her trance and you are able to essentially scry on Alonus and
Ulfgar and I'm gonna go ahead and roll a
Saving throw for Alonus
She does not pass
you guys see
that
Ruby red
Colorpool that plain are
Vortex you see
Alonus floating towards it with great control. You can see the rest of the asteroids and debris around it is like it sucked in and
pulled in and she just makes like a little smirk and floats into the red portal.
Is she wearing the circle it?
She's wearing the circle it.
Oh, okay.
Go ahead and give me an it's I check.
22.
Moonshine, in this moment, as she goes into this portal,
her eyes look clear.
And that's where we'll end our second.
Oh, fuck!
Wait, like not enchanted by magic.
That's what it looked like.
Okay, okay.
Oh, it's where red portal bound.
Wait, is she bad?
Is she bad?
You don't know.
Can we talk about it on the short rest?
We can absolutely talk about it on the short rest.
Oh, that's okay.
Where can people find the short rest?
Cause I need to find it.
Guys, go on over to patreon.com slash nadpod
that's NADD, D-P-O-D, don't sing yet.
To listen to our short rest.
Guys, what do we have to plug?
We have things to plug.
We gotta have a goddamn TV show.
We got a TV show, guys.
Season two of Hot Date is on Friday,
is at 10 and 10.30.
We're airing two episodes every week for five weeks,
so check that out.
You also download the pop TV now app
to watch all 10 episodes, baby.
I want to talk to all 10 episodes.
It's me and Emily Sketch Show.
We really like the season.
It is.
It's fun.
We're very proud of it.
Please check it out.
There's definitely an ad pod shout out to you.
Yeah.
It's really fucking out.
Seth is back who is essentially Balnor. And's a lot of fun kind of now or references
What do you guys have to plug what do you got called all I would love to plug some wonderful gifts that were sent to our PO box
1920 Hillhurst Avenue number two to two lowest Phillies California 900027
First of all Alexander and Daniel sent us a save the date and a nice note.
Congratulations, Alexander and Daniel.
Yeah, that's a sweet idea.
Big step.
Yeah, we go forth with our blessing, I say.
Alex.
I want to object if I come to the way.
Alex W. Oh, send us a big note about their personal campaign and offered us their character
Solstice Erigol to aid in the battle against the Allah we need.
Merffe wouldn't let us.
Yeah, we said it's overpowered.
Yeah, we begged and begged.
Solstice needs to be nerfed.
Tom F's in a tooth necklace and key chain, which is perfect for Barbarian
moonshine or a tooth collector bev.
We'll be fighting over that. which is perfect for Barbarian moonshine or a tooth collector bev.
Be fighting over that.
Oh, Megan Pies and a nice note and an Onyx custom Funko pop.
Oh, so cool.
Yeah, baby.
It's like, exactly what I picture in my head when I think of Onyx.
Like, all the coloration is fantastic.
See, perfect.
Brian C.H. Sina, some letters.
Oh, and some unopened packs of 1992 D&D collectors cards.
We got to, we talked to them briefly about keeping them closed.
We got to crack those boosters.
Diana, Sina, some Papa, Lino Cut prints that they made.
So sweet.
Yeah, they're really cool.
Lino is tough to work with.
I remember from my art class days,
Amy at Speedb Bugery on Insta
gave us some incredible Mama watercolor that they did.
Yes, Mama looks like a nice sweet old woman.
Looks like a Ruth Bader Ginsburg Possil.
Yeah.
That's really good.
Oh, and Jeff S sent us an inflatable dice
that we can use for live shows.
It's like an enormous inflatable dice. That's great. That's hackable.
So we are literally gonna turn our shows into fish concerts.
Yeah, yeah.
Thank you, Jeff.
Give it a try.
Our final form.
I have one.
I have one.
I have one next on the road now, too.
I have one bonus plug.
If y'all don't mind.
Yeah.
My friends, Joe and Conrad, just made a video game called Later Alligator.
It's a like point and click kind of puzzle adventure game.
You can find it on steam and itch.io, I believe.
They made it with Lindsey and Alex Small Butera,
who are incredible animators.
You might know them from Batman Piramann.
It's such a cool game and everyone should play it
because they are all awesome people.
And you should support them.
Right on.
Cool. Jake, what do you got?
Brother Sister Co.
Brother Sister Beer Doyle.
Yeah, baby.
Google it.
Or I think the website is brother sisterco.com.
Nice.
You can find it.
Sweet.
Guys, thank you so much for listening.
I'll be back next week with another episode.
Follow us on Twitter at CHMurfusMe.
I had called these call-doll,
Adixtra, Demolean, at Jake Herb, which is Jake, and you can tweet about the show using
hashtag, nadpod, that's n-a-d-d-p-o-d.
We are, we are, the youth of the nation.
We are, we are, youth of the nation.
It's the end of the show, everybody,
and that means we need to shout out
our benevolent council of elders.
Thank you.
I'm ready.
Awesome.
We're gonna be doing it a little bit differently this week.
You guys can head on over to our Patreon.
There's an announcement.
You can get more info, but let's kick it off with Brad D. Steelbreaker, Dylan B. Danny
P. And of course Spencer Caskbrew.
These five mages form a council called the Arch Arch mages who command all Arch mages and tell them what kind of robes they're allowed to wear.
Arch is on Arches and Arches.
Beard man, Dan, Hermes W. Spartus, Adam R. Danielle the Dasterly, Dan, the Coalition of Frostwin Dwarves who are fighting for Summer Dwarf Acceptance and trying to lessen the rousing of dwarfs in frost wind. Next up we got to show some love for hall door frostback.
Multi-for, Jordan DJ, Jeffree S, Cutter W, they are all the coolest kids in the green teens.
They have skipped three jamboreans in a row to smoke and hook up with each other and they bullied
many teens in decuiting.
Brittle damn terrible.
Schubert the mushroom, Ryan M., Alain A C, Mixolid just Michael D,
and Andrew M. These are the halflings who trained Boundor
to become the warrior card he was always meant to be.
They are the card mommies and daddies of Destiny.
Hurrah.
Then we've got Victor T, Boundor's boy, Justin I, Jacob C, Alain M,
and Mick Pox.
The esteemed members of Mavericks' Championship Ultimate Frisbee team, they're thinking about
doing dodgeball this year as well and they're gonna wreck Ren's ass.
Oh, strong.
Earl and Kathleen L. Gybe G. Jostrich, Damial R, and Destin C. The only team in the Wizard
Tournament to be straight up eliminated.
They heard Ren laugh one time and immediately went and popped him one.
Erdanbe grudgingly disqualified them.
Can't not come for it.
And of course who could forget Devin B. Sergio Salazar Solomon Sakurai's De Sekwani,
Michael L. Sam H. Trey Le the Grave, Aaron G. or Jori S. Because they are the chosen soldiers who just formed the chosen fraternity where they play milk
pong and do cow stands.
And he's the shit out of anyone who is lactose intolerant.
Sounds like a bad time, alacard, baby doc, atom H, Ryan and big buck.
They will be headlining this year's feccella, which is being dedicated to kid cobalt, who
was unceremoniously murdered live on stage
during their last performance.
Soof.
Richard X Machina, Troy McSee,
Cannibalistic Coutulou, Sam L, Damar, Josh S,
are all members of the newest green team chapter.
The green preteens, it's kind of the same,
except no one has braces yet.
You let's bring Dmitry Caleb Storm, Nicholas big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big Toe for G, Colton B, Yens Christian T, Gage M,
Aren C, and L&D. They are all pregnant Elf moonshines, Elkin litter, in solidarity of the
stand against the chosen, they refuse to drink milk and only have crick water.
So sick, I think you're the true heroes of Bohemia. They'll never grow.. TJM, the gnome barbarian, RPKB.
Trash the traveler, anime intellect, and Zolo-Dolo, a group of mindflare who worship an entity
known as the Brain Daddy.
They are currently plotting with their siblings about how to get the Brain Daddy and mommy
back together again.
Tragic.
Joshua C. Larissa J. Dylan CM, the wannabe DM, Kelvin Noodles, and B-Money, a crew of space archaeologists
known as the Husk Hunters, they can smell a husk's musk
the miles away and are now in hot pursuit
of the band of boobs cool new floating house.
Shit, oh no.
J. Heartless Master, Cicely Lulu, Paul B. and Barnes
and Nader, five chosen angels who were supposed
to help the All of Fight the Band of Boots, but just got distracted by a Milky Portal,
now they're living their best lives in the dairy dimension.
Now while you're listening to this home and your apartment by yourself, you gotta clap
it up for Eric G. Jackalobotty, Zach C. Aiden R and L.E.K. They are a squad of dwarfins from Frostwin's Thieves Guild,
currently headed to Ren's private island
to pull off the greatest slash easiest
heist in Bohumi and history.
Clap, clap it up, clap it up, clap it up,
clap it up, clap it up, clap it up,
clap it up, clap it up, clap it up,
clap it up, clap it up, clap it up,
clap it up, clap it up, clap it up,
clap it up, clap it up, clap it up, clap it up,
clap it up, clap it up, clap it up, clap it up, clap it up, clap it up, clap it up, clap it up, clap it up, clap it up, clap it up, clap it up, clap it up, clap it up, clap it up, clap it up, clap it up, clap it up, clap it up, clap it up, clap it up, video of yourself clapping for those here. Shout it out to those real ones. We got Luke H. I'm hopeless.
Timmy R. Alex M. and Aaron RS,
a group of edgy,
Feywild green teens
that have decided to buck tradition
and start healing each other with holy nougies.
Uh huh.
Pelora is absolutely thrilled.
Then we've got Luke as B, Rubin A, Jordan L, Laura S,
and Jay Parker, a bunch of star spawn larva that was
floating in an asteroid right next to the cave where hard one in Boundor fought the mind flares
it's not too late to go back turn the husk around Austin C Austin MR just a piss off Triss aka
touch it and Kaylee at least the mind players. A traveling theater
group that takes the memories they eat and turns them into delightfully delightful plays
and musicals. And who could forget Bell in the Bard, Devon W, Shinobi or Jared E, the brave
souls who formed Cat, Clarex against Theala, and yes their logo is a kitten turning their cute nose
up at a saucer of milk. F-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f- new website, so Persephone, the Psonist, is vehemently opposed. Brutal.
Reese, NS, Jackie, Haley, and of course, Eric and Andrea B, an adventuring party, formed
almost entirely of wizards and one barbarian.
The wizards basically buff the shit out of the barbarian, then watch them go to town
on their enemies from the safety of a Leamons tiny hut.
Ooh, very cute.
Stephanie and Diane W.
The identical twin stars of the Astral Plans
most popular television show,
Githur Githur.
Githur Githur.
Like sister sister.
They play very very sensitive.
They are very sensitive.
They are very sensitive.
They are very sensitive.
They are very sensitive.
Magglesy!
Garbro, Chapel Hill, FPV,
Mike K, Michael M, a team of nannrfly entomologists
who just scored a grant to study the mating effects of being in a jar.
Turns out it's actually a great place to raise children!
Well, Golding, we got Githers!
I get it now.
Omri-M, Calum-L, and Charo Arcadius, the brave heroes who form the Astral Upkeep.
A cleanup crew whose Astral Yelp is as immaculate as the Astral Homes they tend to.
You better believe they're getting called in after the mess they all married.
Scott D. Andrew A. Jake L. A well-intentioned bachelor party who tried to take their best
friend and groom to the Astral Plane for a good time and is currently floating through space on a shard of the astral key
pang in their friends.
Ooh, you can do it.
No Thor, the prodigy ranger Samantha S. and Shane B. A group of maintenance workers for
the Metropolitan Portal Authority who's duty it is to keep portal transportation safe, clean,
efficient, and free of dancing children's shouting.
What time is it? It's safe, clean, efficient, and free of dancing children's shouting. What time is it?
It's show time!
Show time!
All right!
And that's the end of our show, guys.
Thank you guys so much for listening.
Thank you to our council of elders,
and thank you to all of our listeners.
I can head on over to Patreon
and listen to our short rest.
We'll be back next week.
Thank you guys so much.
Peace.
Hi, Seize.
Get there, get there.
Ha ha.
That was a hit gun podcast.
much. See you! Hi, Sadies. Get there, get there!
That was a Hate Gum podcast.