Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 82: Ring of Violence (The Hellfire Chronicles)
Episode Date: November 8, 2019The Band of Boobs rush to the 7th layer of Hell to rescue Balnor! Hardwon draws the ire of several powerful monsters, Moonshine attempts to distract a demigod, and Beverly encounters some sne...aky old foes. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content! Get tickets to our upcoming live shows at naddpod.com/live.Music/Sound Effects Include:"Deal with a Devil" by Emily Axford."The Seventh Circle of Hell" by Emily Axford. "Demigod" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Goodbye, Sweeties.
Welcome to the campaign after the campaign.
This is not another D&D podcast.
Welcome back to Bahumia Everyone.
Bahumia.
Bahumia.
I'm your Dun master, Brian Murphy,
joined by Jake Hurwitz.
Hard one, sure foot.
Emily Axford.
Moon Shann Sabin.
Daughter of the Aquatic,
frequently symbiotic, vaguely erotic,
and newly, necrotic.
Whoa.
Okay.
Okay.
A plus, plus, plus, plus, plus, plus, plus, plus, plus, plus,
plus, plus, plus, plus, plus, plus, plus, plus, plus, plus,
I'm an aww. Wow. That will be published in the NADPOD book of poetry Okay, a plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus Goddamn foot. Yeah. I just Google it. And of course, Goddamn her.
Toggle the fifth,
the gray knight with a dado hell
who he sent to Shadow fell.
Well done, everyone.
Also will be appearing in the NAD pod book.
What about mine?
It's poetry.
Yours, you will write the full word.
Yeah, they'll just say hard one short foot,
Jake or what it's telling.
Jake's is gonna be in the fridge magnetic poetry section
And gang just before we started recording we were talking about the weird way in which we ate snacks
Oh, come on. This is short rest fodder Jake don't make this public
Jake brought up an act an actual sociopathic way to eat a banana Jake said he likes going to grins the grain with
Snacks and then said sometimes I peel a bit, I peel a banana
and just hold it in my hands.
You peel a banana whole.
I'll hold a full loose banana, make it of the skin.
In my open palm, I break it in half and I eat one half
in one bite and then I swallow and I have the second half.
You know what?
That banana is society and you're rejecting it.
You were a freaking joker and I love it.
I feel like that's the way that the first banana got eaten.
Yeah, I feel like it's monkey style eating a banana.
You respect the banana, you stare at it, you revere it.
If you want to swallow a banana hole,
you got to do a donkey cong style and sort of shoot
the banana out of the peel.
Into your mouth, go up it down.
This pomming a raw banana is insane.
I surprise your wife lets you touch her with us.
I would never do this in front of Jillian.
She has no idea.
And she never will because she doesn't listen to this show.
Secret safe.
To me, Faradjake also eats a fish
by putting the entire thing in his mouth.
Let's go to the upper side, Hummer.
Anyway, there's no jakes in Bohumia.
Bananas, there's no bananas, only nanners.
Guys, there's been a Patreon sample of the short rest.
You like that head on over?
The quality content deep dive that you can expect from the short rest.
All right, moving in rousing.
All right, gang, let's do a little recap.
So last week, you guys faced off against your individual rivals
on separate layers of hell.
Hard one, in greed, battled Wilhelm,
Bronzebeard, and gained possession of the lost Bronzebeard
King's Hammer slaying the dragon with his family's own ancient
relic on the anger level.
Munchine saved Papa
after defeating a fungal entity made of Maribel's cursed spores, then joined with them and embraced
the power of death. And finally, in heresy, Beverly bested his father with the help of
his family's tomb, which revealed his powers at a pivotal moment, allowing Bev senior to store a
lay hands. For his son, Bev banished his father to a place where Ilsaid couldn't get him,
and Bev senior was taken in by the dusk mother to serve out his sentence in Shadowfell.
Munchine was then able to use Meribel's Fungal network to fast-track her, and hard one
down to Beverly on the 6th layer where you reconvened before
receiving a disturbing message from Ilsaid.
He told you that Balnor was on another layer of hell, a level of violence.
Ilsaid mentioned that his experiments ran amuck there, and hinted that they had something
to do with the god husks you saw on the astroplane.
And that's where we are now. So right off the bat, let's
go over everyone's new goodies. Moon shine. You can now tap into maribels, fungal powers,
exchanging poison for acid or necrotic damage at will. This will allow you to do damage to
things like devils and constructs with your spores that were
I mean poison. Hell yeah. What about my tentacles? Do I have tentacles? It's just flavor, but yes you have.
Yeah. Okay, so I don't get like a second.
You don't get a second attack. You have to take more levels of barbarian if you love that.
You never know. Okay, hard one now has a plus three weapon,
which allows him to use his dwarf datties
and cast absorb elements spell at a fifth level.
And you can do that once per short rest.
Beverly, your book had a hidden power
that was set to activate when you confronted your father
but you may now use it as you wish.
Once per long rest, you may put as much of your lay hands pool
into the book as you would like,
and it will store it there.
So anyone holding the book can pull from that lay hands pool
and use it to heal somebody by using an action.
Tom hands.
Ha ha ha.
Why not touch, touch, Tom.
Ha ha ha.
I see you guys.
I don't know.
Touch, Tom's. So you guys have not had a long rest yet, but you have leveled up.
We have leveled up our heroes to level 14.
Yeah, baby.
Feels good.
Feeling strong.
Well, those are bad, but it feels bad.
So you guys are in this burning chapel within a city of other burning holy buildings, the statue of
Polor has just cracked when Ilsaid made his threat and the flames around you seem
to grow stronger. Now Bev, Ilsaid said that Balonora was on a layer of violence and
you know that from your book that violence is the seventh circle of hell that's
the next layer. Without any other kind of hint, you know that the your book that violence is the seventh circle of hell that's the next layer.
Without any other kind of hint, you know that the best way to navigate the 9 hells is to
follow the river sticks.
So if you can find the sticks, you can find the next level.
So this is a bit of a ticking clock.
I will tell you that Balnor is currently in danger and I am tracking his encounter as we speak.
Oh my goodness.
So let me know what you guys do.
Would one of my two Elven friends
want to use their beautiful big ears
to maybe try and listen for a river?
Okay, yeah.
I'm also like a creature of the woods.
Yeah.
I'm gonna try and listen for a river.
Listen for a river. Go ahead and give me a perception of the woods. Yeah, I'm gonna try and listen for a river. Listen for a river.
Go ahead and give me a perception check with disadvantage.
Excuse me.
She can hear the river song for miles away.
Can I give a help action just by holding
the machine up on that show?
So just to regulate the role.
Okay.
Okay.
I got a 16. All right.
You hear fire everywhere.
But fire kind of sounds like a river.
I found it.
Y'all follow me.
Okay.
Can we cast Locate?
I would like to cast Locate Creature Bound more.
There we go.
What is the range?
A thousand feet.
He is way beyond a thousand feet from you
Hmm, never mind. Okay, locate creature, but something that would be in the river sticks
You have another creature. Did we would do we encounter any creatures? I would our goblin friend if you go ahead and roll and our
go ahead and roll an arcana check. I would let you use locate object
or locate creature to try to find the sticks.
Okay.
I have a plus zero.
Because it is like an entity.
There does appear to be some kind of like souls
and there's something.
You saw like as the waves were kind of crashing,
there were like things reaching out.
Okay, I'm gonna roll this arcana check
to try to use locate creature on the river stick.
I have a plus zero to arcana, so this is kind of fun and gambling.
Sweet luck.
18, baby.
18, okay.
Alright, yes, I will allow you to do that.
You get a ping from somewhere in the city.
You can locate it from where you are now.
All right, let's book it towards it.
Sweet, okay.
So you guys run out of this burning chapel.
Moonshine, you feel drawn to the River Sticks
by your spell.
And it is difficult to navigate the city
because it is all flames and smoke.
But eventually you are able to find this little stream of
noxious liquid flowing through a gutter. You follow it and as you get to the
outskirts of the city it joins a wider stream and once you get past the last of
the buildings you see that it rejoins the river sticks. It's this wide river of strange, slow moving water,
the color of red wine.
You see to the left, the earth begins to slow downwards
and to the right, it looks like it's going up.
Oh, you're a regular dowsing rod, well done.
Yeah, thank you.
I don't know what that new nickname is, but sure.
So before we descend, could we maybe take a short rest and kind of get ourselves prepped?
My only concern is that it's a ticking clock and a bell nor every minute that we're not
fighting, that we're not finding Boundor, he's getting hurt.
That's a point.
I would let you guys, since you're not in combat, as you, you know, like run along the river
sticks, I would, I will say you can roll hit dice.
Okay, cool.
You can take a short rest while you hustle.
Do.
How much hustle are we showing?
You guys are showing decent hustle, but you can't go full hustle otherwise you couldn't
short rest.
Not a hundred and ten percent.
Right, it's not a hundred and ten percent.
It's more like 90 percent.
Portram might not pat you on the ass for this one.
They've hit that deep down.
Cool, so you guys can roll your hit dice
as you follow the river.
So you guys follow the river down,
leaving behind the burning city as your surroundings
turn into fields of ash.
The city is now just a ball of flame in the distance.
As you race along, you see that the river,
it always had this purplish tinge, but it begins
to take on a more reddish color, and you begin to see steam coming off of it.
And as the landscape slopes downward over some rocks and other difficult terrain, you see
that the river begins to flow faster.
And the color continues to get redder and redder until finally it is
blood red and boiling. You see steam and bubbles of molten blood popping as the
river rages. We're gonna need some kayaks. Or just like an inner tube this looks
like really good inner tube water. Yeah that that's true. Bev, you ever get your inner tube patch?
Oh, I had that one. I had my kayak. I had my sea kayak. I had my Katamaran badge,
whatever you name it. I got lots of boat badges.
Gooner?
Unfortunately, not Schooner. They were not offering that a kid that year.
Absolutely, barge, you know.
Has a big boat for a little man.
You driving a bar.
I mean, my dad.
My dad owned a party bar,
so we would take out on the lake.
I thought barges were for trash.
Especially a party barge.
I mean, it was more of a pontoon if we're being honest.
You guys begin to hear the sounds of slaughter
in the distance.
I think I hear the river.
Yeah.
Moonshine, I think this is a jambalaya of despair.
Oh, I mean, that sounds kind of good.
Yeah, but don't drink it.
Okay, okay, okay.
Yes, in the distance, you hear...
It doesn't sound like fighting because if it were a battle you would hear steel clashing.
Instead you just hear horrible screams of torture and beach-geal screams of sick joy.
And you see that the river widens up ahead, just growing wider, wider, and wider.
But it appears to be getting more shallow,
because you can start to see some rocks
jutting out from it.
And it gets to a point where you need to start hopping
from rock to rock in order to continue following this body
of water down to the next layer.
I'm gonna go ahead and just to be safe. I'm going to cast water
walk on all of us. So if anyone up to 10 willing creatures you see within range gain
this ability and grants you the ability to move across any liquid surface that includes
Wafa. Munchain you have no idea how much easier you just made life for yourself going forward.
I mean does anyone not want it? I was gonna inflate a bully-wook skin and just sort of
do like a lazy river style. I mean I do think we should also do that. You see us in Casey Pops.
You see two goblins with a double inner tube start running towards the river. Yeah double inner tube time
man. Holy one skin. Jump in instantly pops and they sink in. No more life. I
I tossed them a beer just as they disintegrate.
Insanely dead.
In those rowdy Goblins they called it my life. I think we can still save this place.
There is beauty to be seen. Oh I see their bones. I see their bones. Everything but the casino.
So at this point, the body of water has grown so wide
that you need to, now you guys are water walking,
so you guys are just running across it.
But you need to run across the blood here instead
of running alongside of it.
And eventually you see that the blood flows over a cliff ahead
and there is nothing in the distance at your eye level.
It looks like it drops off.
It's like a waterfall.
Yeah.
Okay.
So usually these are things you want to avoid.
Uh-huh.
As you guys approach the edge of the cliff,
go ahead and give me perception checks.
Okay.
16 for me.
14.
Mine is just a quick shout out to the two crew.
Yikes.
Okay. Sometimes a roll is more of a shout out.
Just saying hey.
You're a performance roll.
You're not gonna see anything.
Okay.
So you guys walk over to the edge and you look down off the cliff and you see two
floating islands shaped like rings.
The river of blood flows off of the edge here and creates a waterfall that floods the
first ring.
It looks shallow and the train is similar to where you are now with rocks jutting out.
The blood flows down from there and falls off the edge to a second lower ring.
You cannot see if the blood is pulling there. All you see is a thick forest of screaming trees.
Like some kind of tortured cicadas. There's just a consistent hum of otherworldly screaming.
consistent hum of otherworldly screaming. The trees?
Someone's hurting the trees?
Are we talking trees?
Are we talking trees?
Trees.
It could be throws a passion.
We don't know.
You can see them swaying and reaching out
with their twisted branches.
This is in the kind of deep distance.
And this is the second cycle.
That's the second circle.
It's a little lower than the first.
Can we try a name for the second circle?
You guys see that there is an empty pocket
with no trees in the middle of the second ring
and a black cloud in the middle there
with a torrential rain pouring down.
Perhaps there is a third ring or circle below
but you cannot see it from here.
So the first circle below you, it's 100 feet down.
It's 200 feet long from the edge of the cliff
to the second circle, to like jump down to the second circle.
The boiling blood is pooling on this first circle
and it is full of violence.
You can see goat men, centors.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Goat centors. Goat men centors.
Oh, yeah.
Goat centors?
So is it goat centors?
What?
So is it?
They are jumping deathly from rock to rock with bows,
shooting arrows at chained up giants.
These big screaming titans who howl in pain and rage as they pull at shackles that are attached
to the cliff.
You can also see various predators in the blood praying on lesser monsters but you can't
make out who's who, it's just insane down there.
And again, this isn't really a battle, it's more, it's like watching just, you'll see
one blood-covered monster run over and just start eating another battle, it's more, it's like watching just, you'll see, one blood-covered monster run over
and just start eating another one.
It's a cheetah eating a will to beast.
It is, it's just a slaughter.
So everyone go ahead and roll initiative.
Oh, God.
Oh.
18.
13.
14.
Hey, so you guys have not been spotted yet by anyone below. The reason I had you roll
initiative is because how fast you are will determine how if Balnor lives or dies. So starting
on initiative 20, you see the goat man centaurs use their turn. There are dozens of them.
They are everywhere. They are just going to fire their bows
at these giants into the wall.
You just hear them howling with pain.
Hard one, initiative 18, that is you.
Okay, let's even the odds a little bit.
I'm gonna attack the chains that are holding the giant.
Well, how do you want to get down?
Oh, right. It's 100 feet? It is 100 feet, yeah. I guess I'll jump. the chains that are holding the jails how do you want to get down oh right
100 feet
it is a hundred feet yeah i guess i'll jump
i will yeah
uh... you're gonna take uh... tendi so that i have that i have that i have that
that ball
ring a feather fall uh... you take zero damage
i want to get my pinky ring
you jump down
to uh... the surface of the first level here.
You get down there, you see goat centors
shooting into these giants, one turns and he goes,
oh, a new friend, a boy with.
You're gonna find out, I'm no friend of yours.
I'm gonna swing my hammer at the chain
that is shackling the giant.
Oh shit.
Oh yeah, you see this giant hell
tightened up against the chains.
Fremid, Fremid.
Oh, go ahead and make an attack.
We've had good experiences with J.
I wish you all could do violence.
Okay, don't let everyone.
Not everyone, let's do violence to everyone,
but me and my friends
That's a
29
That hits to yeah, it's the chain. Yep. I think giant hell giants can change
I think that they're capable of good everyone can change
21 damage to the chain
Sweet it's still holding obviously it needs to be pretty powerful to hold these giant titans here
Keep doing it and we'll all care ever long
I'm gonna do it, but remember you're not the boss of me
Okay, you do my bidding
26 to hit that hits
16 damage 16 damage this chain is looking fucked up. Let's go one more shot
16 damage this chain is looking fucked up. Let's go one more shot
Wenty to hit 21 hit that hits
19 damage you fully break one of the chains off of the
Giants leg instantly kicks one of the goat man's sensors. Oh, yes kill me
Falls down in the blood and starts twitching
And actually you know what they're the boss of you. Wow.
Do what they say.
I have no boss.
I kill everyone.
Violence, violence.
Yes, totally.
Everyone but me and my boss starts kicking its leg out
using the momentum of the free leg to try to free
its two arms and legs. You really want to give me a high five. I'm gonna have him do a strength check
I want to tell how you're kind of like his dad. Yeah, so I'm like your father figure
You see
It's gonna start acting on your turn. You see this tight-in
Rips
one of its wrists off the wall sweet. I I give him a fist pound, a friendly camaraderie.
He's just hissing and leaning forward.
I'm gonna fucking use it like a close deal.
Not me, these guys.
Then you see, on initiative 15,
bounding towards you, is a blood-covered knoll.
towards you is a blood-covered no.
What? No! I was really hoping that was bound on.
Yeah, me too.
Oh no, this layer is very, very bad.
You can't recognize him because he's just soaked in blood.
So it's just this red dog man bounce towards you,
but you recognize the weapon, which seems to have come with him to hell.
It is this
flail with three smoking skulls. Oh, yeah, this is deep rag, the knoll who worshiped Yanoba, the like shot, the knoll shaman.
And he goes, I have finally come home and I have a new God.
And he goes, I have finally come home and I have endured God. Ha ha ha ha!
Geez.
Yeah, no, you look good.
You definitely, you're peaking now.
You're peaking now, my dear.
You mine.
I feel like I really found myself.
Are there much bigger worms down here for you to worship?
No, but there is a better God than you know by.
You know but was just the child and this is the mommy
How's the plan?
Mommy I always put it a giant you really want to kill me when this guy I'm gonna kill both of you sweet just kill him first
Takes three attacks natural one on the first attack misses
that is a
23 to hit on the second attack.
Well that do.
That will hit.
That is the flail of pain.
That is 32 damage to you hard one.
Oh, I have pre-rooted damage
because there's so much going on in this fight.
Then it's gonna take a third attack.
Yeah, that's right.
Her frozen zone damage.
And sitting in this room alone,
figuring out how you could fuck me.
Yeah.
The last one, the flail of paralysis is gonna hit.
I'm gonna need you to go ahead and give me a constitution saving throw.
I think you should stay here for a long time.
Meet the husk mommy.
It's a Nat 20.
Oh, I'm not gonna meet your mother, you freaking weirdo.
But you do take 13 damage. Fine. 20 oh Mother you freaking weird oh
But you do take 13 damage. Wow hard one always has such good plans
And then you do also hear a roar as you see another
Blood-covered monster
bounding towards you. This one found our brandishes and acts this looks to be
Wyatt Montgomery the monstrous
Vampire son when you saw scarlet on the lust level she didn't look like she was a vampire anymore because she
When you're a vampire your cursed and that's what makes you a vampire
This dude is still a vampire. He was born as a vampire. He was never turned into one. So rushes forward
And it's gonna take two cracks at you with his axe.
Really can't be a vampire again
That is 20 to 22 to hit on the first attack that do that's 27 damage. Okay second attack
That do. That's 27 damage.
Okay.
Second attack.
Shout out to the two crew.
Whiff's big time on the second attack.
That is up to moonshine.
moonshine, so you are up at the top of this cliff.
Hard one is all the way back up against the wall
because he's trying to free a Titan.
So you don't necessarily have to do some reason.
You don't necessarily just have to drop straight down.
Yeah, I would like to cast locateate Creature on Balnor now.
Okay, awesome.
Moonshine, you cast Locate Creature on Balnor, you get a ping in the second ring in that forest.
Fuck!
Okay, I communicate that to everyone, so that's gonna be 300 feet.
Well, it's 200 feet across and then 100 feet down.
So the 100 feet down doesn't count towards your movement.
You fall in very quickly.
So it's 200 feet total to the second ring.
Yes.
Okay.
Okay.
How long does Vettafall last for?
Vettafall lasts for one minute.
Okay.
So I think I'm gonna hold my action for best.
So you wanna hold your movement?
Yeah, I will.
Okay, I will.
I will allow that.
You're gonna wait for Bev.
Okay, come.
Yes, that is Bev's turn.
I'll also say a hard one.
If you would like to use, you never used movement.
You just jumped down with feather fall.
Would you like to move away from the Titan?
Would you like to do anything as far as movement?
Can I hold it and see what my buddies do?
Sure, and that is Bev's turn.
So, so Bounder's on the second ring? Yeah, everyone. Y'all, Bounder's on the second ring.
I think it might be worth kind of just like, yeah, what the fuck am I doing here?
Who's Bounder? Shut up, you guys talking about Bounder.
I want to kill Bounder. I want to eat Bounder. I'm the pride of chat.
I believe that we have to use, we have to stop on the first level,
but let's all just be booking it for the second level.
Yeah, let's just kick up some dirt on the first level
and then try and book it to the second.
Yeah.
All right, I'm going to click my Yippee-Skippy boots
in cast Featherfall, which is a reaction.
And then I kind of whistle to Moon Shrine.
And then I jump on moonshine's shoulders
and we take flight.
Right on.
Okay, so it's beautiful.
You guys can long jump.
I believe it's your strength score,
so you can get a free I will allow.
In addition to your movements,
to go 19, because that's Moon Shines Strength Score.
So you guys, jump, let's just for ease of math,
you jump 20 feet out as you fall with featherfall,
jump past hard one and all of these monsters.
You see a hard one is just like right under the waterfall
of the sizzling blood, tight and ripping himself off the wall,
trying to grab hard one. Goatman
everywhere shooting people, Wyatt Montgomery, and Deep Bragg on him. You guys
land just past him, and then are you guys both booking it?
Yeah, maybe.
Okay, so Bev, you're gonna be able to get a little further. Bev, you with your
Yippy Skippy boots can go 50 and then with a
dash you can go 100. Yeah, she's just trying to get as far as I can. So you're
120, so you are 80 feet from the edge right now. Moonshine, you can just run your
speed plus the 20 feet that you jumped. Okay, so 55. I'll take that movement now.
If you're gonna do that, You are gonna take opportunity attacks from Deeprag
and White Montgomery.
That seems like it's just gonna have to happen.
Okay.
Deeprag takes this attack hits.
Why it takes his attack and misses.
39 damage, hard one.
Can I still use a bonus action if I use my full dash?
My full movement to dash?
Yes. Cool. I'll go ahead and cast shield of faith on moonshine
Right on okay, we're trying to get next to AC
And I will also say one of the hard things about the first circle here was gonna be that you would take damage
Running through the blood or you could treat it as difficult terrain and run along the rocks
But you guys have water walks you guys are just walking along the top here
Spell
On initiative 11 someone X what's happening? We don't know. Oh on initiative 5 someone X
Let us see the paper
Yeah, you hear just the screaming trees goat men
Oh, I can't wait for this giant to get losing kill us.
It's like when you put your headphones on
and the volume's really loud
because you were listening to something else
and then Spotify was on a much quieter volume.
Then you guys see, on initiative one, at the end of the round,
you hear a gutter roll monstrous scream.
guttural monstrous scream. Woo!
Woo!
As an unholy beast,
one of Ilsaid's experiments shoots up into the sky.
It looks kind of similar to the demigod
that you guys faced when you were in the Wizard tournament
with Maveris,
but it looks to be built out of different divine beings.
You see, it has a head like a giant orc
with a big under bite and huge tusks.
One arm has a thick shell like a crustacean with a claw
at the end.
The other arm is this muscular bear arm
with big humanoid fingers that grip a giant
morning star with a ball on it the size of a small boulder.
Its legs look like that of a dog or a wolf, kind of like a knoll.
They're these thin, but strong legs that allow it to pounce.
And you see that it teleports short distances
bounding through the air at incredible speed,
occasionally just blinking out of existence,
just kind of night crawling through the air.
That fucking rules.
So guys, we are going to handle this husk, mommy.
By the way, you do see that it is mostly corporeal.
It looks like it is a real actual being.
But where it appears to be stitched together
different types of things at the joints,
you see it looks kind of spectral.
Like it looks like the husks.
So we're going to handle this like the purple worm.
Every round, on initiative one,
the husk is going to go after someone.
It could be one of you guys, it could be a random
bad guy in the battlefield, it could be somebody,
you could get really lucky, it could be somebody
you're currently fighting.
The only things that the demigod won't attack
are the goat men because those are its minions.
So everything else is fair game, it doesn't care.
Everyone go ahead and roll a luck check.
If you get the same roll as the monster,
it is gonna pursue you.
It will pursue you until you are dead,
or you kill it, or someone else pisses it off more or if you're able to like hide and get away from it
What did everybody get on their luck check 16?
14 10
You guys see this thing
Starts blinking through the air
scans the first layer and then
darts
into the forest.
Where Bound or is?
Where Bound or is.
But pops back up, you see in its giant claw,
is holding some kind of mage figure,
some kind of cloaked being in like a black robe.
Actually, guys, go ahead and give me a perception check.
Hmm, nine. 12.
Three, three.
Some kind of cloaked figure.
You see this thing flings it up with the claw.
Flings this cloaked figure up into the air.
Teleports up, swings its giant morning star,
bolder cracks this thing thing back. You see
Whoever this is is instantly dead just their body contorts in an unnatural way then the
Demi God husk
Appears below him and impales the being and then casts it aside. Did we know that guy?
Okay, let's hope not.
Yeah.
Munchine.
I think that's Bumblebee's biological mother.
No, that hurts even more.
I know.
Then at the top of the order, that is the first circle's layer action.
So the goat men are going to fire arrows at everybody.
So hard one, we'll start with you.
That is two hits for 23 total.
Yikes.
Then we're gonna go after moonshine.
Ooh, one crit, but then a bunch of misses.
33 damage to you moonshine.
Okay.
Two hits on Bev. Only 17 Moonshine. Okay. Two hits on Bev.
Only 17 damage total.
Okay. That is hard ones turn.
Well, first things first, I'm gonna look at Beverly's
amulet if I can see it.
Or you saw the amulet?
Yeah.
All right, cool.
I'm gonna eat that consumer.
Whoa.
Give me the fucking amulet.
You're making me rich. Let me go. Breaking. Whoa. Give me the fucking armula. You're making me, Rick.
No, no.
Breaking the chain.
This keeps reaching out at you.
Why me?
Harp, you.
Do you know this guy?
What's going on?
So, no.
Is the honest answer.
Should I give him my armula? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, You're not the boss. Is this sort of your bumblebee? This is not my bumblebee.
That's so cute. You got to use my bumblebee.
I do know it. This is my nephew.
No, no, no, no.
I heal him.
So you're nephew, you play nice.
I think we're still booking it, right?
So I'm just going to keep on running.
You want to do dash?
Yeah, I'm just going to dash, try to get to the forest.
Okay, what is your speed?
30.
Okay, so that's 60 feet, so you've run 90 feet so far.
Record that please.
If you go one.
So I thought you just wanted me to speak it into the microphone.
I have run 90 feet.
That is the Titan's turn.
It's going to try to get out of the chain.
Shout out to the two crew.
Just fights this one chain.
Come back, use your hammer on this one.
Use your hammer on the joint.
Yeah, you need me, right?
I don't get your plan, but it seems like it's working hard one.
Then that is Wyatt and Deeprag's turns.
Deeprag is gonna have to take a dash
to try to catch up with hard one. one so takes a dash just running alongside of you
Where we go in there champ?
You're going to the ass Bobby
You're so it's it's a consequentially I gotta grow up
Wow, there's glitter in that blood
Wyatt is gonna do the same also has 30 speed is up with you hard one,
but cannot attack.
That is Moonchide's turn.
First off, does it look like I need to see
the low-key cake creature
paying on getting from Balnor?
Does it seem like there's movement?
Does it seem like he's fighting somebody?
He's down there.
Okay, so he is moving.
Okay, you know what, I'm gonna take a full dash.
Okay, so you're now 75 feet from the edge of the cliff.
Yeah.
Bev, that is your turn.
Cool.
Is there any bonus action stuff you wanted to do?
Are you good?
I mean, I'll, I'll spore some random person.
He spores the random government.
Ow, why?
He don't, he's, don't act like you don't like it.
Oh yeah.
He told me with spores mommy.
Oh, their penises are bigger because they're centaurs now.
Bev, that's your turn.
Okay, first of all, I do need to roll concentration
because I got hit last time to see if the shield of faith stays up.
Yes, good call.
Oh, I need to roll concentration on locate creature then.
Okay, I got a, I got a 15.
Bev, you maintain concentration.
Thank goodness.
I get hit for 33, but I rolled an 18.
Okay, so that is, it's just half the damage, so it's 16.
You maintain concentration.
Yeah, cool.
Cool, Bev, that's your turn.
All right, great.
I think I'm just gonna book it over the edge.
So Bev, you race to the edge of the first ring.
It's about another 100 feet down to the next circle.
The screaming trees are louder, almost deafening at first,
but it's so consistent that you're kind of quickly able to tune it out.
You see that this circle is not flooded with the boiling blood.
The waterfall lets out into a bloody moat that circles the outer ring.
The rest of the circle is this dense forest.
You're jumping off the edge? Yes. And as I'm falling, could I maybe do a quick prayer?
Sure, yeah. So I think I want to pray to the dusk mother to protect me and my friends in this moment.
At first of all, I offer a prayer to Polar, I say,
hey, you're still my number one guy,
but I think I wanna try and do like a weekend work study
with the Duskmother because she's taking care of my dad,
and I think she could really help us out
in this dark moment.
So I wanna pray to the Duskmother
to help me out against the Huskmother.
Interesting. So you're kind of...
This is a big moment as you jump off this blood waterfall.
I'm taking a leap. You're like splitting your
allegiance to your god. Yeah. But I guess
the Duskmother is Polar's daughter, right? Correct. So I'm keeping it in the family.
Okay. It's on the family plan. Go ahead and make
a religion check. Okay, I'll say that
Something very good will happen for you if you roll well if you roll bad pull or we'll be mad at oh
Well you get to reroll ones. That's true
Yeah, that's a 22 22. Okay, um Bev as you
jump down you see a
vision of
The duskmother this angelic woman in a wimple don't laugh. Radium. It's radium. It's beautiful. It's nothing funny about it
It's just I don't know
It's almost like you have x-ray vision or something. You're seeing through the trees and you see her hugging Balnor who looks quite injured
and you see that he is fighting Zalik, the leader of the hounds, the dude with a blindfold
and the death lance and you see that he has this death lance back
and Balnor and him fight back and forth.
I'm also gonna say that because you rolled
while in your religion and you're kind of splitting
your allegiance between these two aligned gods,
so they're not petty, they're not against each other.
I'm gonna let you roll a D4.
Ooh, and tell me what you get.
That's a one, I don't get to reroll that as a half-ling, do I? I'm gonna let you roll a D4. Ooh, and tell me what you get. Ah, shh.
That's a one.
I don't get to reroll that as a half length, do I?
You do not get to reroll that as a half length.
You can get a first level spell slot back.
Heck yeah.
I will take it, thank you.
Thank you, does mummy.
And you land near this bloodmote at the base.
Or I guess you can jump out for your strength score.
Oh, yeah.
I'm gonna roll a pure luck check,
and I'm gonna say 15 or higher
with the rest of your movement,
you can get to Bound or on this turn.
Otherwise, you're gonna need your movement
until next turn.
Okay.
Here, I got a little dice tower.
Oh, I'll roll it in front of you.
That's not fun. Okay, it's like a water slide, but made of a little dice tower. You're right. I'll roll it in front of you. That's not fun.
Okay, it's like a water slide, but made of a parapet.
Okay, 15 or higher, Bev makes it to Balnor the stern.
Oh, 19.
19, Bev, you're able to make it through on your turn.
You find Balnor because of this kind of divine light
that the Duskmother has shown
that she has given you this kind of vision.
Are you able to run up to Balnor?
You see Balnor is battling Zalik.
Zalik looks to be sweaty, like a little messed up.
Looks like he's having to try.
It doesn't look like it's been easy for him
but is getting the better of Balnor.
You see Balnor has a deep cut near his shoulder blade
that looks like infected by this death lance thing.
And you'll see much like the flail that Deeprag has.
It seems that when coming back to this plane of violence,
either Zalik got his weapon back
or he was able to enchant a new one, but he has it.
And you run up to Balnor Balnor goes, oh god, babe, it's good to see you
Balnor
You don't know how good it is to see you. I lost one dad today
And I'm not losing anymore. I draw my sword and I stand in front of him. Hell yeah
That is
Zalik's turn you see Zalik dodges to the side.
Oh, out of the way, a boy.
I gotta finish off this one.
Then I'll come for you.
You're about to smell some real stinky vengeance, my friend.
Oh, you're not ready for the sniffers.
Hahaha.
It's gonna go up and take a couple swings at our dad,
Ballonorm, takes three swings at him and hits for a total of 52.
Ballonorm is looking quite hurt but is not dead yet.
He ain't finished yet. Ballonorm bounces back and is going to attack him.
Ballonorm, by the way, you see with renewed vigor.
You see, hard shine is lit up with a green glow.
Yeah.
Boundor swings three times.
Oh, that's a little fightin' dead.
My little fightin' dead.
And he does a total of 20 damage.
I can't come back to Zalik.
Can he look at my amulet?
He absolutely can. He's gonna use a bonus action to look at your amulet.
There we go. Once again, Bev. Really, really, really good to see you here.
Absolutely. You taught me how to be clutch, and I'm here for you.
I'll carry you in this moment. Belnor looks at your amulets and he looks to be stronger for you.
See that's the wound on his shoulder blade that looked infected just starts to look like
a regular wound and he starts to like come back together.
And then on initiative two, you see popping out of the forest are two more of the hounds.
Elix and Drista.
You now realize, Bev, that the figure you saw thrown up
and impaled by this husk demigod was the mage from the hounds.
So all four of the hounds are here, but one of them is dead.
One of them rolled very poorly.
So we got three hounds left.
Yeah, so three hounds left.
So you see Elix, this buff,
Drow, with like a black cloak over chainmail,
with like a man bun of white hair.
They've both got blue skin.
Drista is this rider and Elix is the like champion one.
He's got a whip and a cimitar. He's gonna charge forward at you, Bev.
Okay, I remember you.
Maybe the Duskmother clots your nose with the big black bookers.
Mrs. on the first attack. Mrs. on the second attack and then has to take a whip attack with the last one. Do it.
Stop liking it. Mm, misses on the last attack.
Misses three times.
The Drista, the Dryder, comes forward, hits on one long sort
attack, hits on the second one, and misses on the last one.
She rolled quite well, but she's not that good.
She does 16 damage total to me.
She's too bad for you.
OK, I'll need a roll concentration again.
16 damage total to me. Yeah, I'll need a roll concentration again.
Ooh, shout out to the three Cree plus two,
so five total, so yeah.
So you lose concentration.
I'm a giant, no longer has shield of faith.
And then at initiative one,
I'm gonna need everyone to roll luck check
to see who the husk mommy goes after after next
Lucky number seven shout out to the two crew shout out to the two crew. Whoa, okay. Oh, would it be both of us?
We'll do a roll off if uh if it gets to if it gets the same one. I'm gonna roll in the tower
Tell me what they got
Seven
Goes after hard one.
Oh!
I thought the tower was cool.
Melt this tower, but this tower on the microwave.
It's 3D printed, it melt.
Ha ha ha.
Wow, one out of 20 chance of that happening.
I guess two out of 20, because you've had two turns.
Snowlock, great.
You see this monstrosity that is just impaled,
this mage, flings it down, looks at the first circle of hell, sees you being chased by Wyatt and Deeprag, and goes...
Oh look out guys. Brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrr, brrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrr, brrr, to get impaled by the husk mommy again today. Why do you have such an obsession?
Every day I wake up and I do violence
and then I have violence done onto me.
And this is your glow-up.
I have glow-up.
So this God, this demigod is gonna fly down to hard one and start swinging.
It's insane. Morning start.
Okay, I use my reaction here. Ooh. Yeah, I was gonna cast my new thing.
Oh, which is a reaction. Okay, what would you at level 14?
You took something special, hard one that has not been revealed yet. Oh beat called magic initiate
Welcome aboard friend. That is right. I'm a tiny little bit magic
Hard one mage foot
Shield you take shield I sure did
Magefoot.
Shield, you take shield. I sure did.
Yeah, yeah.
So shield did.
You can wait and find out if they hit.
So that is plus five to your AC.
That is correct.
For the round.
So it will be 26.
26.
This thing rolled in natural nine.
It only got a 23 to hit you.
It swings down.
You see that as it goes to swing,
you see one of your dwarf daddies comes out
and holds up like a ghostly
king's hammer and blocks it. Not today buddy. Damn my god to see you. This thing
roars. It takes a second attack. That is a 23 misses.
Another dwarf daddy?
Another dwarf daddy pops out.
Not today.
I already said that, man.
I really want a third.
Yeah, to come out and say not today.
I don't care how repetitive it is.
The last one is a 26 to head.
Damn.
Okay.
So it comes out.
Not to, oh.
So, Swingsdown does manage to hit you
with this insane morning star.
You take 34 bludgeoning damage.
You take 10 fire damage.
So, 44 damage.
Okay.
And then go ahead and give me a constitution saving throw.
25. 25.
Okay, you do not take any psychic damage,
but you do feel as soon as the thing gets near you,
just this monster swinging down on you,
as soon as it gets near you,
you begin to start feeling sick.
Like you start cramping up your ears,
begin to, you start to get wax in your ears.
You feel like you're gonna vomit.
It's just, you feel wrong being near this thing.
If only you would held a banana today.
Cool it.
And then, at the top of the order, on initiative 20,
the goat men are gonna take their shots at the people
that are still up on the first level.
So, hard one, two hit.
Oh wait, no, you get it till the end of the round.
Yes I do.
So only the one who crits hits.
Glad someone crits on me.
The crits it hits.
That is...
Crits it hit. 22 damage to you, hard one.
Okay.
Um, moonshine.
Bring it on, come on.
One crits? What? But the rest miss. There are tons shooting at you guys. Bring bring it on come on one crits
What but the rest miss there are tons shooting at you guys come on, but only to an extent come on
It's got more like you know it's a suggestion 24 damage to you moonshine
And then bev on initiative 20 on the second circle
While you're fighting while you're up in the mix here, the trees are taking swipes at you.
Come on guys.
Look at us free us, free us please.
Okay, calm down, give me a second.
Come here.
Let me get a shovel.
That is a 20 to hit you, then hit, does not hit.
Bev, you dodge out of the way of the branches.
That is hard one's turn.
Yeah, I'm just gonna yank on deep brags ears really quick,
try to make him look like a half-elf
and dive into the blood.
You're gonna dive, okay.
So you're basically gonna take like a disengage
and then use your movement to dive down into the blood.
Right, this guy wants to die.
Yes, I do.
Go ahead and make a stealth check.
All right, my dwarf daddy's gonna like this.
This is basically a hot tub.
Ha ha ha!
So that's 16.
This thing has a plus 11 to perception.
Oh, okay.
It is going to use a legendary action.
It is going to try to follow you.
But if it rolls lower than a five, it can't find you,
and is going to instead elect to attack either deep rag or Wyatt here.
I will roll it in front of the table.
It's a nine.
Okay, that's a 20.
You feel it immediately fly over you,
but it cannot attack you on this turn.
It needs to move to get to you.
Okay, then that is the Titans turn.
The Titan is gonna keep trying to break the chains.
Successfully breaks another one.
Just has one left.
That is...
Remember who for who?
Wyatt, see minute now.
Wyatt and Deep Bragg's turns,
they are going to roll perception checks
to try to find you as well.
If only I had taught you better camouflaging skills.
Better bully what sleeping bag tricks.
That's a nat one for Deep Bragg
and that's a nat seven for Wyatt.
There you go.
They look around.
In fact, I'm gonna have them do Constitution saving throws
to not just start fighting each other.
So I'm gonna say DC 15.
Deeprag keeps his eyes on the prize.
Wyatt keeps his eyes on the prize.
It's a natural 15 and a natural 19.
They're still looking for you, but they waste their turn.
They're running around. They're like flanking this fucking god that's trying to find you.
It is now going to take a legendary action to take one swing at you.
Even with advantage, even with you prone hiding under the blood, it rolls natural one and natural five.
Where was that natural one before when I was black and hiding?
Then that is moonshine's turn.
Okay, I feel like I need to stay up here because hardwanness and any compromise position.
I'm good.
I'm good.
Yeah, sure.
Yeah.
I'm fully blood.
Oh, you can need to take blood damage, Jesus.
Oh, no.
Yeah, you're hiding under the blood.
It's the first time you enter it and if you start your turn there.
A hardwant, give me a constitution saving throw.
21. Okay, so you pass, you only take half, so you take nine damage. and if you start your turn there. A hard one, give me a constitution saving throw.
21. Okay, so you pass, you only take half,
so you take nine damage.
Okay.
Okay, go ahead and shine, that's your turn.
Yeah, so I feel like I need to stay on this level
in case hard one needs some moral support.
What do you mean in case, you mean when?
Okay.
I'm almost free to help my friend,
aka eat him, and then all his other little friends.
Okay, I'll just lighten him both the thing.
You're gonna lighten both the God?
Yeah.
Okay.
And I guess I'm just doing it to get his attention
away from hard one.
Okay.
But, you know what, I'll take out a bunch of people
on the way.
Yeah.
Because it does do, it does anyone who's within
that hundred foot line is taking the damage. That'll definitely make him mad. I failed at saving throw, but he's going to use
legendary resistance to pass it. So it'll take half. 11. It takes 11 damage. Takes 11 damage,
but the point is just to get his attention. Sweet. Um, Moonshine, you send a lightning bolt at its
shock. This big husk beast, beast, who then looks up at you.
And then I'm gonna bonus action go into a rage.
Sweet, you bonus action go into a rage
as this demigod husk blinks
and appears right next to you as a legendary action.
That's all it can do on its turn.
On its legend, it's gone damn.
Legendary,
hard one, run. Then that is Heart on run. Yeah.
Then that is Beverly's turn.
Okay.
Am I aware of this?
Are we communicating via sports?
You guys, this two crazy day here on VRSports.
ReporeSports is like Wi-Fi.
So if you're not right next to each other,
it doesn't work.
I think I would like to keep Balnor from dying forever.
So I'm going to attack Zalik.
Sweet.
Oh, you know what I'll do is my bonus action.
I'll go ahead and cast Vow of Inmidi.
On Zalik, so I roll with advantage.
Oh, 19.
But then I add, that's super gonna hit anyway.
So that hits, I'm gonna go and do a first level
of Divine Smite.
Do I get the sense that they are evil now?
I mean, he's doing the crowd damage. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Hell yeah.
40 damage.
Damn.
Yeah.
Zallik is looking messed up already.
I'll take another attack.
Does a 16 hit.
It does.
Yeah.
Light armored motherfucker.
That's so weakly. He's just a fancy boy. Oh, so fancy. So fancy.
I admire your garb. Another 40 damage. She's this dude is on Death's door. I think that's all I
can do this time. But it's still alive. How on or how you doing? I'm all right, I've been better, I'm not gonna lie.
And then you see, Zalik looks at you,
or I guess just peers in your direction.
He doesn't, you see, he's just got a blindfold on.
Sniff the air, I fart.
Disgusting, my sense of smell is very sensitive.
That smells awful to me. Augustine, my sense of smell is very sensitive.
That smells awful to me. The action economy that apart is a reaction.
Yeah, yeah.
Bev now can't take opportunity to do that.
No!
Worth it, absolutely worth it.
How much poison damage do I do with my tooth?
So you see that Zalik is gonna cast a sixth level harm on Boundor. So Boundor's gonna
go ahead and make a constitution saving throw. Boundor passes. Nice. So Boundor just takes
25 damage. You see, Zalik holds his hand up and turns over to you, Bev. You better say bye to your dad. And you see Balnor grabs his heart and goes,
oh God, Bev, Bev, I'm having a heart attack.
I'm having a heart attack.
I told you, I'm going down.
I'm going down.
Told you you got to cut out that tuna.
It's the mercury, it's the mercury, Bev.
Oh, no, I'm going to push through it.
I'm going to push through it.
You got to go to Balnor.
He starts getting real red face,
I'm going to push through it.
I'm going to push through it.
Oh, I got pushed through it.
Yeah, all right, all right.
All right.
Okay, even kill.
All right, even kill.
Starts breathing again.
And there we go.
Remember your exercises.
Just takes 25 damage.
Balnor is looking bad, but is still standing.
I went through hell alone, and no one should have to do that.
We're in this together, Balnor.
That's right, bud.
Balnor charges forward, hits twice. No on Zalik
Cuts Zalik down again. Yeah, does does a chops one arm off chops the other one off grabs his head
I told you motherfucker. It takes 10 minutes to suffocate in the bag get back in there. Ships him back in the bag
in the bag. I fart in the bag.
Oh, so my nose.
Bounder gets a shit.
Yeah, help food is bad.
Bounder is going to rush forward.
He has a third attack now.
He swings at Drista and Mrs. that is the other two hounds.
Drista is going to keep swinging at you, Bev.
Takes three attacks.
Shout out to the two crew.
Shout out to the core four. Shout out to the core four.
Shout out to the 11 Beavons.
Not good enough to hit, Bev.
That is...
Sorry, Beavons.
That is...
He looks to turn.
Uh-huh.
Whipset you, does the whip first.
Don't make this weird, kid.
22 to hit.
Oh, 22 does hit.
Okay.
I just say in a very like monotone deadpan voice. Oh, I'm all tied up.
What are you going to do with me? Stop!
Absolutely stop. I'm just stating facts. Eight damage. Um, then swings it with the Sumitar.
Misses on the first attack. Krits on the second attack. Oh, 48 damage. Wow, you're really torrenting me.
Crits on the second attack. 48 damage.
Wow, you really tore into me.
Absolutely coated out.
That is the God's turn.
It is going to take three cracks at moonshine the brave.
I hate that.
I hate that.
So when it logged, then I don't like this.
24 to hit on first attack.
That does it.
moonshine you take 27,
bludgeoning damage right off the bat.
Okay, half because I'm in a rage.
That's why I went into a rage.
Okay, so that's just 13 damage.
Then you take 12 fire damage.
I'm gonna go ahead and absorb elements that.
Brilliant.
So yeah, at what level?
Just first level.
Okay, so you just take half,
so you just take six fire damage.
You manage to figure out how to only take half of that.
Then go ahead and make a con saving throw.
Can Papa give me a help action?
Yeah, he's, we'll say he's held his action.
He hasn't done anything yet.
Wee-h!
Papa is very scared.
Wee-h!
15.
15 does not pass.
You take another 11 psychic damage.
How are you looking?
I'm feeling brave, that without just the first hit.
Yeah, so second attack, 28 to hit,
27 damage of bludgeoning,
halved to 13, 15 fire damage.
So you only take half of that, you take seven,
and then go ahead and give me another con save.
I really need to pass this one or I'm down.
Nope, I fail.
You take four psychic damage.
So I'm still standing.
Oh, takes third attack.
27 ahead.
You take 32 damage.
Yeah.
You see it crushes moonshine.
Moonshine collapses down above the blood.
Water walking is not concentration, right?
Nope.
Nope.
Okay, so I'm going to say that you're laying on the surface, still not taking damage
from it.
You, hard one as you pop your head up, you see this thing is about to swing its insane warning
star down on moonshine to finish it off.
And you see pop outups freaking the fuck out.
Okay, I throw my javelin.
That is top of the order.
Goatmen go.
So the guy on the right.
Change your heart.
You cowards.
Goatmen actually don't find you
with the perception check,
because you're still down.
Trees are gonna go at you in Bound or though, Bev.
Misses both of you guys.
Throw me back up there, trees.
That's you, hard one.
Thank God, I throw my jab on the demigod.
Throw the jab on the demigod.
18 hit.
18 does hit.
Okay, I'm gonna call Lightning.
Sweet.
It passes, it saves, or just takes half. So that's 30 lightning. Sweet. It passes it saves or just takes half.
So that's 30 damage.
Okay.
And then I wanna put another javelin
or any sharp object in deep rags hand.
I'd be like, hold this for a second.
And then dive back under.
Holy shit.
Go ahead and give me a Deception check with advantage
19 this thing is gonna roll an insight check
Shout out to the two crew
Hard one you successfully you shove a javelin into deep rags arms
What the fuck you doing man dive back down in the blood you see this thing is gonna use a legendary action flies forward
confronts deep rag the god the husk mommy she is here for me you're blessed man I don't know
what else to say you're staying down in the blood uh can I use it so that that's one action
can I use my action search yeah either swim through the blood. Can I use that? So that's one action. Can I use my action surge?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Either swim through the blood if I need to stay hidden or jump up and go over to Moonshine.
You can just run out to get to Moonshine yet.
All right.
Sweet.
I'm going to jump out and run to Moonshine.
Great.
You run out to Moonshine.
You're actually, you are going to take blood damage for starting your turn in the blood.
Go ahead and give me a con save.
25.
Okay. It was just 15, so have, so just seven. for starting your turn in the blood. Go ahead and give me a con save. 25.
Okay, it was just 15, so have, so just seven.
Seven damage, but you get out of the blood,
you run over to moonshine.
What are you gonna do to her?
Oh, fuck me, moonshine, you fucking idiot.
You beautiful idiot.
There's not anything I can't...
You can try to stabilize her with a,
just a straight up medicine check.
And pop-hop, pop-op can give you advantage.
Wee-op, wee-op.
You run over and pop-op, you see,
like pop-op is all covered in blood and stuff.
Just runs up to you like, wee-op.
What are we gonna do?
Rear, buddy.
Rear indeed.
I admit I try to stabilize Moonshine
with my knowledge of medicine.
If he gets a Nax 20, do I get to pop-up?
I will allow that, yeah. yeah. Okay, so hard one.
This is a DC-10 wisdom check to stabilize moonshine.
Just to get it to 0 HP.
I will say she'll get 1 HP if you get a Nath 20.
Pop-A is going to give you the help action.
The demigod seems like he's going to after D-Brag for until he kills him.
So you've got some time here, but moonshine, if she fails some death-stay, she's not gonna be doing so good.
So go ahead and roll me some wisdom checks.
Okay, I lay my hammer on moonshine's chest and I put my hands on the hammer.
I rolled two threes.
Oh, I'm gonna use a luck point.
Okay, wait, do you have any left?
I don't have that.
Did you use all three?
I did.
Oh no.
Okay, you got no luck points left.
I'm sorry I said that.
That's okay, that's okay.
That's okay.
No, it's better to be honest.
Todd, after a hard one, that is the Titan
that was chained to the wall's turn.
Titan breaks free of the wall and starts charging forward towards the God and deep rag and
Wyatt seems like they will tangle with each other for a moment.
A perfect plan, hard one.
How about it?
It's actually turning out not too bad because now the Titan is way far away from you, so
it's not going to get to you.
That is Wyatt and Deeprag's turn.
Deeprag is just gonna take some swings at Wyatt,
and Wyatt starts attacking him.
Wyatt hits him twice and fucks him right up.
The demigod is now gonna take a legendary action.
Shout out to the three-create Mrs. Deeprag.
Deeprag's standing they stand in.
That dude wants to get hit.
Yeah, negging.
Moonshan, that is your turn.
Moonshan, go ahead and give me a death saving throw.
12.
Okay, that's a pass.
Yay.
Wow, nothing more fun than using a turn
on a successful death save.
Yeah, that is best turn.
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Okay, that's it for me, go team pants and enjoy the show.
Um, can we say,
due to my momentary connection to the spores and the fungal network that I know that moonshine is down
Go ahead and give me a religion track. You have to worry about me. Don't worry about me
I bet hard one can just jump down with me. I mean, I guess I'll do one just to see if I know what's going on. Okay
Relo that's gonna be a 22 22
Yeah, you feel the...
rapport spores as moonshine gets near the edge.
You begin to be able to feel her presence,
and then it goes away.
Koochai!
Boundar, moonshine's in trouble.
Huh, we're all in trouble, bud.
All right.
Callus.
No, not, I mean, I mean, we're all gonna die, don't mean.
You know what I mean
Balthard you shouldn't have said that over reports boys. Listen. I know she shunned you but come on. No, that's not what I meant
I meant we all might die
All right, well, we got to finish up quick here. I'll go for drista sweet
It does an 18 it does not whoa really yeah cool hit again
There we go 30s gonna hit yeah
At 30 doesn't hit those are 30 hit
So that's gonna be 23 damage to drista sweet I forgot to transfer my valve in midi
But I'm gonna do that now as my bonus action. So it's on just yeah, got it. Okay
It's my bonus action, so it's on just now. Yeah, got it.
Okay, end of your turn as a legendary action.
The Demi God is gonna swing at Deeprag hits.
Does a total of 70 damage to Deeprag
and you see just crushes Deeprag's skull
and just keeps swinging the morning star
down on him literally being taken to church.
That is back up to the goat man.
We're gonna fight at hard one.
They were having such a different day than us.
Hey bud, whatcha doing over there?
Just watching my friend die.
Goat man, Balnor.
They hit you with a total of,
they hit you for a total of 23 damage.
Yikes.
Are you looking?
Oh, not good.
And that's your turn, hard one.
When I ran over to Moonshine, did I use an action surge?
I forget if I had to.
Yes, you have gotten over to Moonshine, yeah, with an action surge.
She was near the edge, right?
How far were you from the edge?
40 feet.
40 feet from the edge.
Okay.
You have 35 feet of movement.
You're gonna take me to the edge, hard one?
I'm gonna do my goddamn best to get Mochine over the edge.
Okay.
What would you do if someone said you were having sex
and they're like, I'm 40 feet away?
I'll be like, whoa, that's pretty far.
I think you started out close.
But I can get there with a full dash.
Yeah, I'm gonna pick up Mochine and just run and run for the edge.
Grab Moonshine, pick her up, she's covered in blood.
Papa hops up onto Moonshine and it's just kind of like cuddling up with her.
This is like the closest she's coming to death in a long time.
So he is super stressed out.
You run
over to the edge with moonshine, jump off this waterfall, ring a feather fall. I will say
between your remarkable athletic abilities and the fact that you still have some movement
once you get over to the edge, you jump down land on the second layer and you're able to run over to
Bev and Balnor and you've got moonshine in your arms Bev you see
Hard one suddenly appears holding moonshine my hands are just like outstretched
Waiting for her to come in contact
She at the edge she's I brought her over the edge
We both edge too hard
I told you to be careful.
So none of you guys are on the first level anymore. You don't see what happens with the Titan or Wyatt
You know that deep rag is dead that is moonshine stern moonshine go ahead and give me a death saving throw pop-off gives you the help action
Hmm. Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, That is your turn. Okay, I see you're there. I have one spell slot left.
I'm gonna use Cure Wounds.
Okay.
I think that's the most healing I can do, because I've only got five touch hands left.
So that's going to be...
Oh, Jesus, that's a one.
Okay, so that's five HP.
So you're back up.
I think I went over the edge.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
It was a dream that was wet with blood
that's what the wetness is all the more
uh... i think i can do anything else is a bonus action uh... to help out
uh... all cast shield faith on moonshine
uh... you already cast a spell i already cast a spell yeah
needo uh...
uh... there was nothing there was nothing for Malor, there was nothing.
Y'all weren't bad boys.
Yeah.
Hanging their mood check.
Malor wanders like everywhere.
That is Boundor's turn.
Boundor never used his action surge
because you showed up before his like a deadly round
with Zalik, which when he was gonna go all out.
So he's just gonna go all out on Trista here.
And he also turns to you and goes,
I don't know that we necessarily have to kill these guys,
but they're annoying, right?
Yeah, we hate these guys.
Yeah, let's be nice to like,
you have a little campfire with these screaming trees.
Let's kill something, it'll feel cathartic.
Ha, ha, ha.
Bound or hits five times.
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
Oh, Ballonor.
There is no edge for Ballonor.
For a total of 45 damage.
Yes.
And then that is Elix and Drista's turn.
They're gonna go ahead and take their swings at Bev.
Crit from Drista.
She gets twice and she crits once.
Goodness.
She only does 18 damage, even with a crit.
Wow.
That was one hit.
You okay?
You hurt and you could use some heals.
I will need a heal soon, but I'm hanging in there.
Elix hits twice with his Cimitar for 37 damage total.
Oh, yes, I would love a heal.
I am down.
Jesus.
Oh, okay.
Cuts Beverly Down.
That is the God's turn. I'm gonna roll a luck
check. I'm gonna say that because Wyatt and this Titan are right there, he will
attack them if I get an 11 or higher. Otherwise we're just gonna go back to rolling random.
Yeah!
Fuck them up!
13.
Yeah, Demi Husk.
You just hear roaring up there.
You hear them continue to fight.
I'm in the Husk Bottle.
I know that was such a stretch.
But it made me laugh because it was such a stretch.
So that's why I said it out loud.
Please don't put that on my grave.
Or have that be an example of my comedic stylings.
That is back up to the layer action.
So the trees go.
They're just going to take, I just do one role for all of them and they miss all of you.
These trees have done a bad job.
Hard one that is your turn.
You see moon shine on a death's door. You see, shine on a death story. You see, bow nor pretty hurt.
You see, Bev is knocked out.
You don't know where you're going.
You hear this god eating Wyatt Montgomery.
There's a waterfall of blood near you
and two of the hounds are here.
What are we gonna do, man?
I mean, it's probably time to take a Christmas card picture.
Right?
I take a selfie with my speaking stuff.
Our sweaters in the bag.
Pupu, I needed them.
Can I stuff everyone in the bag and run?
I'm gonna heal us on my next turn
and I believe I'm pretty soon.
All right, cool.
So we don't have to run yet
and I do wanna kill these guys,
because I've done too much hiding running.
Yeah.
All right, sweet.
I understand that. Do what you get at. So I pick Bev much hiding and running. Yeah. Alright, sweet. I understand that.
Do what you're good at.
So I pick Bev up for a second,
I hover his body over the bag,
and then I drop it and I pick up my hammer.
Wait, get you, just like position my sword and throw me.
Easy with him, man.
He's dying.
I'm just going to swing at Drista.
Sweet.
21 to hit.
That hits.
Nice.
18 damage. She's looking quite hurt, but still alive. That hits. 18 damage.
She's looking quite hurt but still alive.
Hit her again, hopefully.
28 to hit.
Hits.
13 damage.
Super hurt, still alive.
23 to hit.
Hits.
20 damage.
Hard one, finish her.
Yes.
She's a spider.
Yeah, spider, a spider finish her. Yes. She's a spider. Yeah spider spider lady
Cool, I pull off all eight of her legs
And I put her as cruel even for me. Yeah, I put her body in the bag also
Go eat Zalik
Goes in there and just starts like twitching and getting spider goo everywhere
Belmer goes to Sam which is over in there man. Oh, he got to put him in a zip line
Come on, honestly. I'm a bit of a curious foodie Belmer goes to San, which is over in there man. Oh, you gotta put them in a zip line. Oh, come on.
Oh, you're honestly, I'm a bit of a curious foodie.
I would try to find a good one.
There are loose sandwiches in there.
I don't put them in bags.
Spider-Ragoo.
Woo-hoo-hoo.
Yeah.
I start writing a, I use my entire turn
to write up a cookbook.
The legs could be the noodles.
We can only get a dimi husk, dimi glaze.
Woo-hoo-hoo.
All right, you guys, don't see what's going on up on the next layer of hell, then that
is back to moonshine's turn.
Moonshine, see you again.
I'm gonna do a mask here, wounds on all of us.
Hell yeah.
What level is that?
Technically, it's only level five, but I'm going to use it at a level seven.
Wow.
New powers, girl.
Damn.
44 hit by everyone.
Yeah, I'll go fight the god now
You hear it go okay, I dive directly into the god's but hole so 44 hit points
But that's that's up to six people so that's out that's bound or two down or as well amazing
And then I'm just gonna hawk some spores. I whoever's still standing oh
And I think because I can decide I'm gonna go acidic yeah acid damage. I don't love acid
But love acid tune in right wait tune in drop out drop in tune out
That is you like to cool a acid test Bev Bed Stern. Okay, I'm back up.
I wink at Moon Shine with a heartfelt sincere wink.
Heels, but get heels.
Ha ha ha.
I feel your heel.
And now it's time to keel.
And I'm going to go after Elix.
Sweet, he's the only howl left.
Does a 29 hit.
29 does hit.
Nice. 20 damage. Right on. And I'll hit again. 29 does hit. Nice. 20 damage.
Right on.
Hit again.
He's pretty beefy.
I'm pretty beefy.
Oh, you know what?
I'm gonna, uh,
done this already.
I'll cast Hunter's Mark as a bonus action.
Sweet.
So I do an extra D6.
Nice.
Yeah, I roll your D6.
Thank you.
That's gonna be three extra damage.
Nice.
And then let's attack again.
22 hits.
Great.
I look at hard one and I say whip this.
What are you talking about?
Why do you keep bringing up this whip stuff?
This kid looks young, man.
You whipped him?
I whipped him, but not in a weird way.
Okay, okay.
I know that we're in hell, but I'm like.
No, I did it to her damage.
He's 16, there's not a normal way to whip him.
Oh, what?
Okay.
Literally his father was like working for your boss
not in this way.
And then he should relax here, especially you.
You.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Thanks for my fat guys.
That's gonna be 19 more damage. 19 more damage. I'm gonna, on I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I'm not whipping him. He liked to slip when he did it. I said I'm gonna speak to see if he's bonin. He's not bonin. He's not that
podcast. Okay, but I don't know how big it is. So I've got to add my hunter's mark.
That's, that's, ooh, that's gonna be a full six. He's looking pretty hurt, but he is,
he is beefy. I'm Boundor's gonna run forward. You freak, stay away from my son. I'm not doing
anything weird with your son, man
Bound or hits fucking three times. Yes me if I wanted to go to his van
I don't even have a van. I mean I do it sports. It's a mini van
He does 30 damage to Elex Minivan is the perfect size
Guys, they something tells me you did one of those things where you took out some of the seats in there.
That is the Elyxas turn, he's going to whip hard one.
She, you, I wonder you.
I'm still like pretty young, man.
I'm incredibly, does a hit hard one for 12 damage?
Okay.
That's gonna take two Simitar attacks on Beverly.
Nothing weird about a Simitar.
I know, that gentle curve. Then that is back up to the demigod. attacks on Beverly, nothing weird about a simulator. Mrs. Bolk.
Then that is back up to the demigod.
You see the husk, mommy, white monk ummries thrown up into the air over the canopy of
trees.
You see drives her claw right through his chest and kills him, flings them to the side.
Next turn we'll be back to attacking random people.
Then that is back to the top of the order.
The trees are gonna take a swing.
I don't think they've hit once, but they are gonna hit this time.
Um...
Are they gonna whip us?
They do whip you with their branches.
It's just in weird!
It's a little weird.
Yeah, if you have to say this isn't weird as you do something,
you can sort of deduce that it's got to be a little weird
16 damage across the board. Oh, to everybody. That is back up to hard one
Okay, I am going to whip
This guy with my hammer. You know me being in my 90s is actually pretty young for a knelph
So it's kind of weird that you're hitting me with a hammer hammer traditionally sexy weapon
17 to hit in drought culture we
Hate each other with hammer. You're digging yourself deeper. Yeah, um 17 does hit
21 damage very hurt still alive
20 to hit hits
18 damage hard one finish him yeah
I tie him up in the whip and I say, hey, nothing sexy about this.
I kiss him on the cheek and I toss him in the back.
Okay.
There was something a little sexy about it.
Happily hops in the back.
Oh wait for you later.
Oh shit.
So you were a freak a little bit
That is all of the people
Upstairs or dead except for this Titan
Who it's gonna make a dash action towards the middle?
But cannot get there moonshine that is your turn. Okay. I need to see
Can we see what's below like what so what is the situation on this so you saw
When you did your perception check when you were looking over the cliff
You saw that there was an area with no trees in the middle of clearing and there was a cloud hanging over it raining something
Y'all do you think we want to jump down that thing?
I think we got to go down that water slide. We're pretty good at jumping. I'm gonna look at Bev's amulet
Oh, yeah, do that and then I think I'm just gonna,
y'all are right behind me, right?
I don't know.
I healed y'all.
I did my due business.
Now I'm going to the water park.
Hey.
I want to jump into that center.
Well, let me, I'll describe what happens as you get close.
Just so, you know what you're jumping into.
If you want to jump, you may jump.
You have enough movement.
This circle is smaller, so with a full dash action
with your speed, you are able to get to the edge.
So moonshine.
You race through the second circle
and get to a clearing in the trees.
A black cloud hangs above raining,
and you see as you get closer,
you see the rain droplets are sizzling.
This is some kind of acid rain and it's red.
It's the color of blood.
It looks like the boiling blood that you saw,
you know, the River Sticks turn into,
and the whole first circle up here.
You see that it is raining down into this circle below.
You go ahead and give me a perception check
and I'll tell you what you see as you look down
because it is a little darker down there.
28.
28, moonshine you look down and you see that there is a
platform of sand about a hundred feet down.
And you see as the rain hits it, it sizzles.
It seems like the sand is some kind of burning thing
and the rain is some kind of burning thing.
You don't see any way out yet.
I guess I'll just jump in and take the damage.
Moonshine, you jump down. As you jump, as you enter it for the first time,
you are gonna take acid damage.
I'm gonna absorb elements again.
Okay, so you're only gonna take half of this.
So you take total from the sand.
As soon as you touch the sand at the bottom,
you feel it is, there's some kind of curse here.
It immediately begins to sizzle and eat away at your Elven boots and it
injures you. You take between the acid rain and the sand, this is already
half, you take 25 damage. Then while you're down here looking through the sand,
you can make a perception or an investigate check as a bonus action or an action.
You've already used your...
You have my reaction for absorbent.
You've used your reaction. You've used your action to dash.
You have not used a bonus action.
19.
20.
20 does not do it, but you have made it a little bit easier.
All right, can pop-up give me a help.
Pop-up can give you a made it a little bit easier. You start. All right, can POPPOP give me a help? POPPOP can give you a help.
That's not better.
Okay, you and POPPOP scramble through the sands down there,
trying to find a way down to the next layer.
That is Beverly's turn.
I would like to give my Elven shield to hard one,
and I tell him it's time to go surfing, and I ask him to
attach it to his feet so that we can jump down and avoid getting damage from the sand below.
Kau Bunga.
And then I hop on his back.
Okay, you hold the reaction.
Hop on hard ones back.
That is Balnor's turn.
Balnor is going to take a Balnor.
You know what he's going to do?
He's going to hold his reaction.
Also wait for you guys.
Okay, okay.
That is back up to the Husk God.
I'm gonna need everybody to roll pure luck again.
I'm gonna roll in front of the table.
We'll see what.
Three.
13.
Four.
Okay, 16 is my roll.
You're all safe.
You hear the husk god goes after somebody else
that is back up to the lair action,
that is the trees.
It's gonna make it attack on all of you.
That is not one tree sucks so bad.
Freos, please.
You guys see fun.
Where do you wanna go?
I don't know, a different forest.
Do I just learn to love where you are now?
Oh, you're right
Hopefully fear with us. We love it here. No, I mean it's not
I pour some of my beer from my endless mug into the soil. Thanks for real, bro
That is hard one Stern
How many people can I have on my back with the ring of featherfall?
I'll say you guys will take half damage from...
Bev already has featherfall.
I'll say Boundor.
I'll say you guys will take a little bit of damage when you fall, but now much at all.
All right, sweet.
So I scoop Boundor and surfs up.
Sweet.
And as I'm falling, I'll use a second win to get a tiny little bit of HP up. Sweet. And as I'm following, I'll use a second win
to get a tiny little bit of HP back.
Sweet.
Nice.
So you guys are all dashing,
and then you are going to attempt to basically
use the shield to stop you from touching the sand below.
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm gonna have either, I'm gonna say,
Bev can give you the help action,
hard one, hands you the shield as you jump over the edge.
Hard one, you're trying to put the shield below.
You go ahead and give me an Athletics
or an Acrobatics check.
22.
22, hard one you were able to successfully do this.
You and Balnor with a ring of feather fall, fall faster
than you would have if you were by yourself. You guys take 10 damage, but you land on the shield. You do not take any damage from the sand,
but you are going to take damage from the acid rain above you. That is 24 damage to you in Balnor. Balnor is looking quite messed up.
But he is okay at the moment. Bev, you are going to jump. Are you basically going to try to
jump on the hard one? Yeah, I'm kind of as soon as they jumped, I jumped afterwards. So I'm basically
like floating a little bit above them as they float down. Okay, hard one, do an athletics check
to catch Bev.
Other than that, I tied myself to him
and I'm just falling slower, we were poor slack.
Uh, yeah, but you still gotta catch him.
I'm not sure why he's gonna bang into you super hard.
It's the same way, an armor.
21.
21, you successfully catch Bev,
nobody takes any damage except Bev,
who takes damage from the acid ring.
Sure, sure, sure.
How much do I take?
25 damage.
Oh, Bev's looking hurt.
Okay, Beth is super hurt.
You guys all have, so you have used dash actions
to run, you have not used bonus actions,
so everybody can make a perception
or an investigate check.
Bound or looks, does not, is not able to find anything.
Neither am I, I got a 10.
I got a six.
Okay, I've got a 10.
So that is background of Moonshine's turn.
So the first time you enter the sand and the rain,
you take damage and when you begin your turn there,
you take damage.
I actually messed up.
You're supposed to do deck saving throws for the rain
and you're supposed to do constitution saving throws
for the sand.
So Moonshine, you've already taken damage once,
give me one deck save and one con save,
and if you pass them, I'll give you some health back.
Now 20 on the deck save.
Ooh, sweet, that's obviously a pass.
15 on my...
Okay, did you add plus four?
Oh, it was a good one before.
Yeah, that was from before.
Okay.
And then 15 on the other one.
Okay, so Moonshine, you do fail the con save,
so that's the same.
We're gonna give you 15 health back
because you did pass the deck save.
Wee!
Nice.
So then, at the start of your turn,
go ahead and give me a deck save and a con save.
Fail deck save, fail con save.
Yikes.
I'll do a absorb elements again.
That's great. Nice
So 25 damage from the acid rain halved to 13
26 damage from the sand halved to 13
26 total okay
Then moonshine that is your turn since you are already down here. You may use an action end-of-bonus action to do
Perception checks if you would like.
I would like to start by just using my bonus action to get a perception check.
Sweet. Would you like pop-up?
I'll give me a help action.
Okay.
Same exact thing.
Okay. What did you get?
Because the DC lowers every time.
It's like the void dragon thing.
Okay.
Above a 15 takes the DC down.
You're scrambling through the sand, trying to find it.
You do not.
Motherfuck me!
Um, I guess I'll do another cure. Just heal everyone again.
Okay, oh!
Heal everyone for 26!
Thank you, thank you.
Um, that is Bev's turn.
Shit, I'm in a pit!
And I'm gonna say Bev, if you wanna look through the sand,
you're gonna need to do perception checks with disadvantage, unless you get in the sand.
Okay.
Um, so immediately beginning of your turn, go unless you get in the sand. OK.
So immediately beginning of your turn,
go ahead and make a deck safe.
And your shield is below your feet,
so you cannot use it for the plus three.
Right, OK.
It's going to be 19.
OK, that passes.
So you just take half.
So you only take 10.
OK, 10 acid damage.
Well, I'm going to use my amulet as a bonus action.
Sweet. Re-gain some HP. Do it up. And then, yeah, I guess I'll just start
starting around. I will follow the footsteps of my old pals, Dirlin and Krann, and I will get in a whole suite.
Go ahead and make a perception check. Okay. Were they in a whole? Yeah, like...
Were they in a bag? They were in a... I thought they were getting the whole...
They burrowed into a hole when the
bully woke King was fighting, remember?
Oh yeah, they did hide in like a little cave.
Ooh, that is a perception you said, that's a 19.
19, that helps, but does not do it.
This is tough.
Yeah.
You also take, go ahead and give me a con saving throw as you take sand damage.
Sand damage.
Sand damage.
18.
Fails.
Oof. You take 20 damage. Okay, great. That's
my turn, I guess. All right, that is Balenoir's turn. Balenoir is going to do a deck save.
He's got no fucking hope. He just takes all of this damage. He takes 24 damage. Looks
pretty messed up. He did get the mask here, wounds, right? Yeah, yeah, but still hurt. He's
taking damage every turn.
Hopstown into the sand, does a con save, passes the con save.
So only takes half.
He just takes 10 damage.
He's looking quite hurt, but he's going to use his action
and his bonus action to go through the sand.
He breaks 15 both times, takes the DC down by two.
That is back up to the husk monsters turn. It is going to roll to see
who it gets. Go ahead and everybody give me your rolls. 12. 19. Can I reroll my one depending
on what do you want to? That's what I'm wondering. Ask, do you want to reroll your one? Oh.
Yeah, I'll reroll it. Okay, just, I, sitting on a one never feels good.
Okay.
He rolled an eight.
Okay.
19.
19.
Okay.
I was gonna let you gamble your life away.
Hard one, that is back around to you.
Go ahead and give me a deck save for the acid rain.
I rolled a three.
I'm gonna use that feature called Indomitable
where I reroll a saving throw.
Glad I did, that's 23.
Sweet that passes.
So you take 11.
Okay, I'm gonna step off the shield
and try to figure some shit out.
Give me a con saving throw.
Hard one scrambles down into the stand.
Everyone is so beat up, just bloodied.
The earth below you is trying to eat you,
acid rain from above.
I'll eat you first, you son of a bitch.
20%.
Oh, he's eating the sand.
It's 25 con save.
You only take nine damage.
And then go ahead and use your action and your bonus action to look through the sand. I can 25, con save. You only take nine damage. And then go ahead and use your action
and your bonus action to look through the sand.
Fun to do shit, that's a nine.
Doesn't do anything.
And E13.
Does not do anything.
That is, aren't y'all glad I'm here?
Moonshot is turn.
All right, I'm gonna use my bonus action to, uh,
do you want a pop on help?
Yeah, well do I have to do those saves, right?
First before I do that.
Oh, right.
Yeah, start of your turn.
Do a save.
That is going to save.
Okay, for the rain.
Dex.
So Dex is 22.
Okay, so you take 10 damage?
Oh, that's also going to save.
That's going to be a 19.
Nice.
I'm assuming that saves.
Just nine damage.
Okay, now me and pop are gonna use bonus action.
We're trying to find out.
It's a 24.
Moonshine, build an amazing sand castle.
As you investigate, as you're scrambling through the sand,
Papa's doing it with you,
you put your weight on one particular area,
and the sand gives way.
Go ahead and give me a deck save.
Nat one.
Hard one, and Beverly.
Acid rain all around you.
Sand is trying to eat you.
You guys suddenly see moonshine and papa plummet.
And that's where we'll end our session.
Oh, hey.
Oh, no, no, no.
Oh, she found the mouth.
This has been moonshine's no good, very bad day.
Yours, I know.
I had the fucking worst.
Let's just commit, let's get trashed and do a short run.
Yeah.
Why in the whiskey place this was
This was a tough one. I flew in from New York for
Seven level spells just to fucking use on
You guys really don't like to get put through the ring
Everyone's up. I was feeling so every once in a while there needs to be an endurance
For shank counter, you know, you need to be an endurance for Schenkowner, you know?
You need to have a specific one-on-one battle
where you whittle away all your health and spells,
and then do an endurance round.
We'll talk about this more in the short rest,
but I will say that I had rolled damage
between Boundor and Zalik, who previous to you guys coming over,
and Boundor would have died on Zalik's turn on the third round
So you guys got there in the cool spell I wanted to fucking use and I'm like so I'm like so fucking bad
Life in like the most epic way I can wait awesome. I can't wait here
But that's spell on the short rest short rest guys head on over to patreon.com slash nad pod
That's n-a-d-d-p-o-d. Don'td-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d on-dimension 20 on Twitch with some college humor people we stream it on Wednesday
fantasy high season two tuning on twitch
wow press F to pay respects
yeah to drop out I think we do it what do we do seven specific time yeah that's
when we do it yeah check out fantasy high season two call the one you got to
plug I would like to plug our PO box 1920 hill her seven new number two to two
Los Feliz California 9. 9-0-027.
If you wanna send us stuff, we had a big haul.
Come in.
It was magic.
She was a mute.
Crickmas came early thanks to Cindy Kay,
who sent us some cat stuff,
a moonshine Barbie,
and ornaments for everyone.
Truly so many gifts.
I didn't even thought of getting a Christmas tree.
And now we're getting a Christmas tree.
It's got to be a bush.
Yeah.
We always get a Christmas tree.
We need a Christmas bush.
Yeah, absolutely.
Just go cut one down from out.
Other shrubs, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Let's not get into some antics.
We got Demetra K, who sent us some roses.
Some nice artificial roses, so they'll be good all year round
It was really fun to get that to open that and they might be fake, but the roses are sharp. Oh, yeah, the thorns are prickly. Yeah
I'm bleeding right now
Fake blood, but yeah, it's stage blood
Andrew sent us maybe one of my favorite guests we got in yet
Andrew sent us a trophy that reads, Emily, do you want to read it?
Yes, I have it right in front of me, and we're going to just keep it on the table whenever
we play from now on in case, for times like this when we feel dejected.
It is a big number one, like first is the gold trophy part, and then below it reads,
Andrew's favorite podcast in parentheses,
very prestigious.
First place.
He said that same exact thing to like nine other podcasts.
Yeah, like still.
No, I have it on good authority.
Serricanic, yeah, with the fuck.
If anyone, I sell it, if Serricanic has this inner fucking
all, they lose my shit and steal it.
The doughboys can have one, that's fine.
And now this is another...
Ender's number two, Bob.
Yeah.
And of course, oh, Jess C. Peters on Twitter sent hard one, a painting handle for my...
I already put it in my backpack.
Amazing.
It's for when you do your live streams on the Patreon.
Damn right, last time I painted the banana actually.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Did you end up taking the skin off and then holding it in your hand?
People are trying to convince me to eat it, but it felt wrong.
Yeah, that sounds, yeah.
Poisonous.
Yeah, that didn't.
That banana has been preserved.
And of course, Jeff S. Lord of the Fjord,
Sennis, a massive dice, which is not like a big nerf dice.
It's an actual like steel dice with the numbers like
etched onto it with some sort of laser and the Lord of the Fjord has sent us a lot of big dice. Yeah, yeah a big
We've got basically have a ball pit but of D20. I will say not this one super show
Yeah, that's true. This one is vicious. You could attach this to a morning star and have a full on weapon.
This one, I really think, yeah, you could kill someone.
Like intruders beware.
We're gonna have like a dog sign,
but also like a huge threatening D20.
We got a big D20 and we're rolling a 20 on you.
We're in an old.
Jeff S also sent us a lot of DVDs,
including a box set of Naruto. So it's on for sure
Prepare to take your
Hokage exams
Yeah, I'm buying too. Yeah, that's the that's the PO box again 1920 Hill of Savinyu number 222
Los police California and I zero zero 90027. Thank you for honor.
Thank you guys.
Jake, what do you got?
Yeah, it's no shave November folks.
Holders some beard oil.
My sister's printed out a straight up thank you card for anybody that orders in November.
Oh.
They're also launching a line of pub oil.
Oh.
Wow.
That's right.
I finally got into business selling oil for your pubes with my little sisters.
So you can do that. And Eelix is the sick part. So yeah, brother sisterco.com, check it out for
all of your pubes beard. Even if you're not nutting in November, you can still make your pubes look
good. Oh, okay. Yeah. Honestly, though, probably there will be nothing to get scared of.
Good Lord.
All right, everybody.
All right, put us in the bag.
All right, gang, follow us on Twitter at CHMRIFUSME.
At called these call-doll, at the extra exemplary,
at J. Kerr, which is Jake,
and tweet about the show using hashtag,
NADPOD, that's N-E-D-D-P-O-D.
We are her.
The youth of the nation. Sing along, we are her. The youth of the nation.
Sing along, we are.
Sing along, sing by yourself.
The nation.
Pathetic.
We suck.
Ha ha ha ha.
It's the end of the show, everybody,
and that means we need to shout out our Benevolent,
Council of Elders.
Benevolent Yee-Bee!
Ooh, starting with Brad D. Dillon B. Danny P. Steel Breaker and Spencer Caskbrew
5 other god husks that Ilsaid soared together into a beautiful god-gown.
If the boobs don't stop him soon, Ilsaid will wear this dress to the celestial prom and
looks so good that even the olive will have to bend the knee.
That sounds fun.
Next up, we got beard man Dan, Hermes W, Adam R, and Danielle the dastardly dame for
living trees in the seventh layer of hell whose branches are laden with big delicious apples.
The apples do explode though, so it's probably for the best
that the boobs never encounter them.
Howdor Frostback, Multifor, Jordan DJ, Jeffries,
and Cutter W, five lifeguards elected to serve
at the Glade Home Congressional Water Park.
They're basically shirtless senators
that know CPR and have whistles.
Fun!
Shoebord the mushroom, Alaina C,
Mixologist Michael McD, Andrew M. M. Boundor's boy,
a band of musical demons that goes by the name Hot Play.
Their songs play on the loop in elevators,
grocery stores, and inside the minds of every single one
of Hell's inhabitants.
Just an eye, Jacob C, Alaina M,
Mick Pox, and of course,
Earl and Kathleen L, a squad of Bohumian Power Rangers
each has the power to summon an animal familiar
to help them fight, but unlike the real Power Rangers,
when they try to combine their animals,
it just makes a big messy pile of fur and organs.
Go go, oh no, Power Rangers.
Oh no, indeed.
Damn, LR, Destin C, Devin B, Jive G, and Jostrich, a group of
Glateron Shield surfers who Beverly desperately wanted to be friends with.
They used to hang around outside the mall and surf on their shields, which is bad for
your armor class, but rad for your social class. Hmm, Sergio Salazar, Solomon Sakariya, Stasequani, Michael L, Sam H, and Traleigh the Kray-Fay
for Green Nights who fought in the Giant Wars, braved the siege of Galatoran and survived
the Battle of Hillhome.
They have now undertaken their greatest challenge yet, planning next year's jamberine. years of Jamboreen. Woo! Alucard, Jury, S, Adam H, Ryan, and Aaron G, Stunkbugs, Closest Friends and Family, and
Ezri also known as Ork Niles, Orc Ross, Orc Daphne, Orc Dad, and Orc Eddie.
Oh, Big Buck!
Richard X Machina, Sam L, and Troy McSee, a group of screaming trees from the 7th layer
of hell who go by the name, the screaming trees, and are constantly constantly getting mistaken for a late 80 slash early 90s grunge band.
Dom R. Josh S. Blitzbreeg Demetri K. Lib Storm, the quartet that sang at the Alice
Coronation.
Josh S. got a little pitchy and Blitzbreeg's rhythm was a little off, so all were summarily executed immediately following. R-I-P-Nicolas-C-Mike H. Matthew E. Samuel B. Until for G. A collection of Ezra's most
dangerous automatons forced to live in captivity and fight in a pit for the entertainment
of Ezra's corruptinability, currently plotting a rebellion but waiting for a disobey command
patch to download. Gage M. Arensee, Bohumias Fiercest, L&D, T.J. M. the gnome barbarian, and trust the traveler,
a rebel faction of Gith-Sarai who practiced something called forgetting.
Which is just doing whippets.
These anti-knowledge of everything Gith-Sarai huff the nitrous oxide out of old whipped cream
canisters and forget, eons of time.
Anime intellect, Zolo-Dolo, Larissa J, Dylan CM, the wannabe DM, and Kelvin Noodles, a
family of tiefling half-siblings.
Yes, they all have different moms, but they have the same demon dad and can do hellish review once a day. So stay on their good side. Colton B, B-Money, J, Heartless Master, and C-C-Lulu,
the Feywild Farmers Coalition,
which lobbies for the courts of the Fey
to subsidize their candy farms.
So the price of their precious crops
isn't driven down by all this leftover Halloween candy.
Joshua C, Aidenr, Luke H. and Zach C,
a metal band from the Feywild called
the Hounds whose Alex straight up stole the name from don't worry though Papa is standing
by and suing his estate. The real Hounds will be properly compensated.
I'm hopeless. Timmy R Alex M Aaron Sully and Eric G, the adventuring party before Theala Alonus in Ulfcar.
They starred in the campaign before the campaign, before the campaign.
They are currently archdevils waiting on the 8th layer of hell, with Javilan's pointed
to throw up at moonshine as she falls down.
Uh oh.
I know like that.
Lucas B, Rubene, Jordan L, Laura S, and Jay Parker, a crew of Rebel Green teens who are
keeping the jamboreen alive in chosen occupied Galatoron.
They meet in secret basements to eat ritz bits and tell each other animal facts.
These brave souls are the anti-pepple pod.
You gotta love secret bits.
Austin C, Austin MR, just a pissed off, trist,ikai Aikai, Tachik Kali Elise, and Barnes
and Aitor, a pro wrestling gang at the Crick known for their no good cheat and ways. They
once threw Crickwater in Ulf Gar's face, causing him to enter a trance and lose the heavyweight a sanctioned loss that Papa is still fighting to this day. Justice was not done that day.
No it was not.
Devon W. Shinowa B. Jared E. Persephone 4.
Nomish Gods, who ill set his planning on resurrecting to truly bring chaos to the material plane.
The sky will blacken.
The earth will quake.
And…
Tees shall fill the air.
Terrifying.
Reese and S.
Bell in the bar. Jackieifying. Reese and S, Bell in the Bod, Jackie, and Eric and Andrea B,
founders poker buddies.
Every third Saturday of the month,
these old bulls cut loose with some low steak
card games, a 30 pack of bud heavies
and some snow patrol on the radio.
What could be better?
Steven C, Maxwell C, Mike K, Omri M, Kalem L. The most powerful of the Scullywook
Chiefdins.
While Theala and Ilsaid play their games out in the open, these Scullywooks plot the
revenge, you can stomp ants, you can squatch bugs, but be kind to Scullywooks.
And of course you can forget, Charo are cuttiest, Scott D, Nothorne, the Proudity Ranger,
Train B, the Pinch, and Dan.
Dan's saws newest motorcycle gang.
Dancers, prancers, and mancers,
they're all into necromancy motorcycles
and the powerful art of modern dance.
They also share Dan's saws single motorcycle.
Sounds dangerous.
Richard C. Caron T. Curtis S. Michael C. and B.J.L.
Hard one's slam poetry circle. Hard one composes extremely emo versus that he commits to memory
since he can't read. Hard one takes the group's awkward silence after he performs to be more of a
reverent awestruck silence. Nikki W. Andrew B. Christopher B. Pete C. Barris and Ken of the Wizard's Tower.
And Jonathan the Arcadian gamesmith.
A group of Grick Youngins currently missing from the Glade Home Water Park.
They are feared dead, but they're actually fine, just making out and lighting up fireworks
in locker room.
Good for them.
Angel B. Rahul and Grace G. Boundor's fishing buddies, somehow no matter how much they
catch, Boundor always manages to add mayo to it and eat the entire catch before they
even bring the boat into the dock.
Okay.
I am the atlas Ryan of the Clan Cookeon, Mary Bell the Kitty Morphing Nome, Esmi M, and
Her Robert, a group of goat men in hell who aren't shooting
arrows at anyone and are just kind of glamping in the evil forest.
It's not super relaxing, but they're drinking blood out of mason jars, so it's visco as hell.
Yens, Christian T. Joe McGee, Meta Amps, Mr. Hydrous, and Jonathan from Crickfield, Beverly's
team of manicurists.
If you think this is a long list for just nail artist, you should see his list of pedicurists.
And that's it for this week folks.
Thank you guys so much for listening.
Thank you to all of our Patreon subscribers and of course our Council of Elders.
You can head on over to our Patreon to listen to the short rest, our after show.
Until then, we'll catch you guys next time.
Have you all self a lovely day?
That was a HitGum podcast.
Listen to the short rest, our after show.
Until then, we'll catch you guys next time.
Have yourself a lovely day.
That was a hit gun podcast.