Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 84: Treachery (The Hellfire Chronicles)

Episode Date: November 22, 2019

The Band of Boobs confront Akarot and try to stop the teleportation of undead gods to the material plane! Hardwon makes use of a book for the first time ever, Beverly gets bullied, and Moonsh...ine makes a difficult decision. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content! Get tickets to our upcoming live shows at naddpod.com/live.Music/Sound Effects Include:"Church Bells" by Suz_Soundcreations at Freesound.org."Hellfire Crown" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a Headgun Podcast. Hey everybody, it's Emily here to talk to you about Adam and Eve. Who wants better sex? And who wants to start having better sex immediately? The best way to level up your sex game is to go to Adamaneeve.com right now. Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item, plus free shipping, which includes rush shipping. More than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy.
Starting point is 00:00:32 They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority, plus 100% free shipping with rush processing on your entire order. Doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy, all will be packaged and sent discreetly. So don't wait, better sex is just a click away. That's 50% off one item, free shipping with rush processing. Bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your bedroom. Just go to adamaniv.com and select any one item. It could be an adventurous new toy or anything you desire. Just enter offer code PAPA at checkout. That's www.atamineve.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to the podcast
Starting point is 00:01:15 so be sure to use the code PAPA to get your discount 100% free shipping and get it fast with brush processing. Code P-A-W-P-A-W. Goodbye, Sweeties. Hey, guys, it's Murph. Before we started the show, I wanted to give you all a heads up about our schedule going into the holidays. We are going to be taking a little hiatus from the main campaign, but we're still going to be coming at you
Starting point is 00:01:41 with lots of fun stuff. Next week on Thanksgiving, we've got the Donkey Kong one-shot coming on December 5th. We're gonna post the Manchester live show on December 12th. We're going to do a new episode of Bagganit with Balnor. This was a mixed bag on our Patreon, but now we're gonna do a new episode for the main feed. It's just an improvised
Starting point is 00:02:06 podcast hosted by Balnor with guests, hard one short foot, Beverly Toe Gold and Moon Shine Seibon. It's very fun. On December 19th, we're going to be posting the holiday special with the mere Bloomingfeld and on December 26th, we're going to be doing an end of the year special, just like we did last year. We're also going to have two new trinny veils in December and then we'll be back with the end of campaign one at the beginning of January. Thank you guys so much on with the show. Welcome to the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast.
Starting point is 00:02:48 Welcome back to Bahumia everyone. Bahumia. Bahumia. Bahumia. I'm your dungeon master Brian Murphy joined by Jake Herwitz. Hard one sure foot. Emily Axford. Moonchan Sabin.
Starting point is 00:03:00 Fungus Rydon thought headed straight for Acro. Oh. And of course, called Oth Tanner, Beverly Toggle the Fifth, the Dusk Mothers, Little Brother. Okay, pretty good, pretty cute. Thank you. Okay guys, so let's do a little recap last week, you descended to the eighth layer of hell, fraud. There you encountered a mantocore with two faces, one that told sweet lies, and one that told brutal truths. In a total mind-fuck, they both told you that ill-said and
Starting point is 00:03:33 Alonus were working together. You then confronted Alonus, who introduced the ghost of ill-said, and cleared things up, gave you the real story. Ill-sid revealed that he had been tricked by a lich who was using his body. The lich Akarat had made the Gladehome Alcaster apparatus, his phylactory, and with the power of the Hellfire Crown was able to spread his influence to the dead across Bohomia. Alonus filled you in on Akarat's plan to resurrect dead gods and have it them then force the people of Bohumia to either make a devilish deal with him or die and become a hollow body with your pending confrontation. Akarot is hurrying to complete the resurrection ritual and bring destruction to the material plane. Will the band of boobs get there in time, did pender greens eat the bones? That mystery has been solved. Find out this week on Not Another D&D Podcast. I'm gonna be so heartbroken when pender greens betrays me.
Starting point is 00:04:36 Or jokes on a chicken wing. Equal odds, honestly. So you guys had just teleported when we left off. A lot of straps are arms around you and teleports you guys out of the eighth layer of hell to the ninth level treachery. You land on a balcony overlooking a massive grade hall pillars line, both sides of the room reaching up to a hundred foot tall ceiling. The cavernous room looks like a giant cathedral of black marble. Below you, you see the ritual has already begun. You see that there are giant walls of fire creating two symbols of aquerat side by side. These flaming circles with triangles of fire in the middle.
Starting point is 00:05:22 At each point of the triangles, so six total, there are groups of mages in black robes chanting with their hands held up, leading acolytes in a dark incantation. They stand over enormous god husks, some as big as 50 feet tall. There are six of them total. The husks still have bits of
Starting point is 00:05:46 spectral white on them, but you see that the mages are casting their ritualistic spell and the color begins returning to them. The chanting rises as the runes circles beneath them begin to glow and in the circles you see flashes of green grass, blue sea, gray mountains, the material plane. Alonish throws her hands up in screams, no! As she emits an explosion of purple energy encasing the entire great hall, creating a barrier between this plane and the next her eyes glow. As she strains and pushes bolts of energy into the barrier. One woman against an army of mages,
Starting point is 00:06:28 the only thing stopping undead gods from running amok on the material plane. As wizards engage and in arcane tug of war, you see Akarat exiting the flames at the center of one of the triangles. He has the body of ill said, but it's heavily distorted by this hellfire crown. You see that he's wearing this crown that has actual real hellfire and it is actively melting his face. You see, like a candle melting wax, skin just melting off of his face.
Starting point is 00:07:03 He used to be so hot. He really ruined that body. Yeah, no. Oh, you don't like this body? I mean, I thought the other guy wore better. I liked this one better, and I hold up his old head. Oh, yes. Well, enough foolishness.
Starting point is 00:07:18 There's one joke. Yeah. One joke is too many jokes, okay? I said I'm out again to try to get it in before an issue. one joke. Yeah. One joke is too many jokes, okay? I semi-adagantity. Try to get it in before an issue. Yeah, you're able to do it like as you. As soon as you see, she is going down, you can semi-adagant today.
Starting point is 00:07:33 Yes, baby. He just lets out this laugh that echoes through this great hall. Surely you know by now that you can't kill me, I don't need to be a god because I command gods. Not yet. Everybody go ahead and relinitio. So the way this is going to work is Alonus is going to do an Arcona check every round on her turn. She has a plus 13 to Arcona and the mages only have plus six. Each group is going to try to beat her role on their turn,
Starting point is 00:08:08 and if they do, then that God gets sent to the material plane. Well, fuck. Yes. So there are five mages at each of the God husk stations. These are at the six points of the triangles. If you can get a station down to two mages, they start making their roles with disadvantage. Then as far as the lay of the triangles. If you can get a station down to two mages, they start making their roles
Starting point is 00:08:25 with disadvantage. Then as far as the lay of the land here, below the balcony are the bases of the two triangles. So there are four points down here with four gods being summoned. The gods at the far points deeper into the room away from the base look to be the most powerful. You see one of them is this gargantuan, spiny dinosaur looking thing, and the other is a five-headed dragon. Okay. Oh, I know what that is. It's 50 feet between each point of the triangle,
Starting point is 00:08:57 so 50 feet between ritual stations, but again, the bases of the triangles are right below you and you guys are up on this balcony, so you can just jump down to those, but it'll take a bit more movement to get to the ones that are deeper into the room. What did everyone get on their initiative? Dirty 20.
Starting point is 00:09:14 Tight 10. 17. Okay, to start it off, I will do Alonis's role to see how well she is stopping these monsters from getting the material plane. A, that one will not be an auto fail. That would just be one plus 13. It would be 14.
Starting point is 00:09:31 Some guys would probably get through and it would be bad. But we'll see. Not great. That's a four. That's a four. Okay, so 16 is what they need to be this round. Oh.
Starting point is 00:09:42 Trying really hard guys. I know, don't worry. It's super hard. You got this. You got this wrong. Moonshine, you're first. OK. So you see Ackarot down here.
Starting point is 00:09:51 You see 30 mages in groups of five trying to bring back these six gods. The ones at the ends of the triangles, the furthest away, are the two kind of the big dudes. OK. I'm going to go towards where the base of the triangles are and lightning bolt all of those groups. So basically go after four of the six mage.
Starting point is 00:10:16 Jesus. Okay, they're not in perfect lines, but I will say that you'll be able to hit two at each station. Okay, so I can get eight mages. Yes, so you run to the edge of one of the triangles, you run to like the lower left-hand corner of the room, hold your hands up as they crackle with lightning energy,
Starting point is 00:10:35 they are going to do decks saving throws. Mean decks fails, they're gonna fail their decks' phase. Most of them do fail, there are five fails and three saves. Okay, well, those who failed will take 40 damage. Sweet, so you run to the bottom of the room, you line up your shots and shoot a streak of lightning in a straight line through four groups of mages at the bases of the triangles.
Starting point is 00:11:03 You fully kill two guys at the first group, kill two guys in the second group, kill one, and injure one in the third group, and injure two in the last group. Those are the guys who pass their saves. Okay, well, I'm also gonna spore as one of those injured guys for 18. Okay, if you're gonna hit an injured guy,
Starting point is 00:11:21 you need to run to one of the groups in the middle, like the third group, because you fried your targets in the first two groups. Okay, I'll do that. Sweet, so you run up to the middle of the room, run up to the third group, you spores this one guy, and he is now on Death's Door. Oh, Papa is in fungal form.
Starting point is 00:11:40 Papa, go see him. Papa, go see him. He's there. He's there. Yeah. Making a attack for Papa, he gets it with advantage. Those are 17 hit. Yes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:52 This dude is at two, Papa just kills him. And still pulls him down. So in one turn, you have killed six mages already. The four stations at the bottom are all down to three except the one in the bottom right corner of the room. That one still has five because they pass their saves. At the end of your turn, Akarat is going to take a legendary action. Whoa, here's legendary action.
Starting point is 00:12:13 What? It's going to run up and goes, Moon Tron. It's been so long since we've embraced each other as friends. When did we ever do that? I think it's to give you a paralyzing touch. Reaches this handout, go ahead and give me a constitution saving throw. What a creep.
Starting point is 00:12:32 Okay, that's one of your minds. He keeps thinking of your dad. Where's my hug at, guy? Where's my hug? 19. Mooshine, that is a pass. Woo! Yeah, thank you.
Starting point is 00:12:48 I'm sorry, kissing your enemies is sort of my thing, so. Oh, what's going on for a kiss? It was just a little hug. You take 11 cold damage, though. He did hit you. I used my reaction, so I just take it. Sweet, and then that is Akarats' layer action.
Starting point is 00:13:07 Ooh. Akarats is going to go ahead and call forth the spirits of creatures that died here. I've had a lot of people die here. A lot of people die on me that were close to me. A lot of people die in hell. I'm so impressed. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:22 Oh yeah, I'm it real scary down here. I feel like they would have died elsewhere and then come to hell, so I don't know that. Sometimes people just come here like you guys. Right? All right, he's got me there. Moonshine, go ahead and give me a constitution saving throw.
Starting point is 00:13:36 Same, 19. Yes, you take, this is already have 30 necrotic damage. Jeez. That's so nice of you to go after me instead of my friends. Your friends aren't down here yet. Just wait until you get down here. Oh, you can't get up there? Oh, I can get up there if I wanted to,
Starting point is 00:13:53 but I figured why not go for you first. Oh, I am flattered. I am glad. I can't get up. Should we come down? It seems like you can't get up here. So if we want to fight, we all have to. When can't get up there, he starts like popping up. we'll have to go and get up there He starts like hop up
Starting point is 00:14:06 I wanted to use a spill. I just don't want to spend a spill slot. He's afraid of ladders hard one that's your turn Oh sweet. I'll jump down. I'm gonna go for the mages that are with the with the dragon I think sweet. Do you have 50 feet of movement? I? Don't think so. Okay, I guess you know what you can do I'll say with your long jump and then your your movement you'll be able to get to so. Okay, I guess you know what, you can do, I'll say with your long jump and then your movement, you'll be able to get to one. Oh yeah, I do have, I'm allowed to add my strength
Starting point is 00:14:32 to my running long jump. Sweet, okay, so you run, do a running leap off of the balcony, jump down, and you're gonna go after the five mages that are trying to resurrect the five headed dragon. Yeah, I am. Can I call my dwarf daddies? Yes, that is an action.
Starting point is 00:14:47 Yes, call my dwarf daddies. You call my dwarf daddies on my way down. Hey, pops. Hey, oh, kind of a hot tub. It's definitely hot as hell down here. Oh, dead gods. Yeah. Not a good hot tub, man.
Starting point is 00:15:00 We'll celebrate afterwards. Yeah. I'm gonna use my action surge and try to also swing on this switch. You run up to the mages. So that is a... Geez, only a 16 hit. 16 hits.
Starting point is 00:15:13 Yeah, mages, I was thinking mages might be kind of weird. Yeah, they're just mages. This is a numbers game. They're just trying to... Yeah, they're powerful, but I'm... Yeah. So that's 21 damage to the first mage. Super hurt, still alive. 24 to hit.
Starting point is 00:15:26 Hits, 17 damage. On death's door. See if I can kill him and cleave somebody. 23. Hits, 14 damage. You brain one of these mages and do 12 damage to another one. They are going to roll saving throws for your dwarf daddies.
Starting point is 00:15:50 Ooh, wow, geez. At a four, two-roll terribly, but two got in at 20. So that's two passes, they'll take half, and the other two will take full damage. Go ahead and roll your 3D8s. Ooh, 10 damage from my dwarf daddies. One is very hurt, and the other ones are looking okay. Then that is Balnor's turn.
Starting point is 00:16:11 Yeah, Balnor turns and shouts to you guys. Should I go for the sure thing and take out one of the mages and weaken one of these points, or should I run over and try to help with the dragon? Ask Moonshine. Moonshine. I try to help with the dragon? Ask Moonshine. Moonshine. I think go help with the dragon. Okay, yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:27 Balnor is going to hop down, do his full hop. He's gonna take some damage from falling from like a long jump. Not much damage though, he takes eight. And, cause he does not have the ring of featherfall, so him doing a big leap of a balcony down to the second floor roll's ankle. Ah! That's another one of featherfall, so him doing a big leap of a balcony down to the second floor rolls, Zangle. Ah!
Starting point is 00:16:47 That's another one of our dads, you guys, you know. Rush's forward is gonna take swings at these mages. He's got three attacks now. Shout out to the two crew on the first one that's not gonna do it. Wait, two, he has three rolls. Yeah, he lights up, hard shine. So he rolls and he gets a fucking nat 20.
Starting point is 00:17:07 Woo! Hard shine! See, when he first got the two, it just wasn't the whole story. Yeah, the last sec hard lead. To find out there was zero at the end of the day. He did a two and a one, so only does nine damage. Take it.
Starting point is 00:17:20 But he very much hurts this one, that's our only hurt. He will take a second attack there, and that's a 22 to hit. Bounder does another nine damage and takes out this hurt mage. He is going to... How many mages by the dragon one are down?
Starting point is 00:17:38 There's three left. There's two out. Sweet, that's great. He's going to take his third attack. That is 16, that is gonna hits yes, he does 10 damage to another one He hits on the first attack. There is on the second attack attack. It's on the third attack Yes, all right, let's see. Hell's a good look on you, bud. Hey, thanks. Bound or these folk are gonna be
Starting point is 00:18:09 wrong with this advantage thanks to your weapon. The Devil Dad, Bound or Holy Kills another one. That means there's two and gets one below half. There's only two left at this one. They're not looking good. That is the end of Ballonor's turn. That is the mages. Now they're gonna try to roll to beat Alonus's 16. She rolled very poorly. Oh, they get a plus six to this roll. I'll say if they tie Alonus, they'll do a roll off.
Starting point is 00:18:40 So we'll start with the weird, like, dinosaur beast in the corner, the other heavy hitter. I'll roll in front of you guys. Oh, my God! Shout out to the two crew! To the two crew, this one stays. The God does not move. We're gonna go over down with the five-headed dragon.
Starting point is 00:19:00 This one is gonna roll with disadvantage. Yeah, it is. Cause there's only two mages left. At two, is there a point where they abandon ship? If all them are dead. Oh, yeah, okay. I'm gonna roll with disadvantage for this one That one yes I'm not one they stay put Boy, then you see bottom left corner of the first triangle There's still three mages there.
Starting point is 00:19:26 They get to roll normally. I'm gonna roll for them. There's this like, beastiel, huge, no looking God. Some kind of God of the no, some no-lish deity. I'm gonna roll for them. No-les have deities. Yeah, it's probably named like Crunch Wrap or something. Shout out to the two crew again. Yeah!
Starting point is 00:19:45 Shout out to the damn two crew. It's a lot of twos. You see one of the ones where the two triangles meet in the middle, is this big gargoyle one? There's still three guys left there. I'm gonna roll for them. Oh. Oh.
Starting point is 00:20:00 That happened. That is a 19 total. You guys see they successfully Teleports that God where where does it look at teleporting to the material plane? We can see where then next to them. There is this weird oozy Monster with a bunch of different eyes these guys also don't roll with disadvantage. They still have three guys left Another 19 that one disappears. I'm abandoning the lightning bolt plan. Then in the bottom right corner you see this tentacled monster with an ape like torso and two simian heads a
Starting point is 00:20:41 demigorgan. I'm gonna roll in front of the table, these guys are real regular, they still have five mages. Yes. Woo! Shout out to the core four, those guys stay put. At the end of their turn, the guys in the middle who have successfully done their business, who have successfully-
Starting point is 00:21:04 Oh, the other one? Start joining the other ones. So you see six of them, three from each of the groups that successfully sent God's way, start running towards the five-headed dragon. But they can't get there with their movement, they're too slow. Yes, they are.
Starting point is 00:21:19 That is Akarats turn. He is going to cast Binger of Death on you, Munchan, go ahead and give me a constitution saving throw. Six. That is a fail. Can I can I give Moogina a look point my lead to do that? I know you can. Okay, maybe you'll forget what does finger of death do? It does not it does not. It does not kill you. Okay. the soul-booker from your nose.
Starting point is 00:21:45 You take 70 necrotic damage. Beverly, that is your turn. I report Spore's moonshine and hard one and say, should I go after Akarot or should I try and just whack through some of these mages? I think we should try and avoid any more of these gods getting sent, right? I do agree with that.
Starting point is 00:22:06 But Moonshan's also in Moonshan, you're in a bad spot, right? I'm in a bad spot. Okay. I have a very specific reason why, but I don't want to say in front of the DM. All right. First and foremost, I give my Holy Toam, my Beast Jerry of demons and arch demons, to hard one, and I say, I've been watching you read,
Starting point is 00:22:30 and I think you're ready for this, something a little more advanced. I take it. I take it. I take it. I take it. I take it. Hard one is 50 feet away from you over all the time.
Starting point is 00:22:38 Oh, right, shit. I also haven't really been practiced. If you would like to toss it, you can have him make an opposed athletics check. I'm good athletics. Okay. Yeah, I will toss the book to hard one. Okay, hard one, go ahead and give me an athletics check
Starting point is 00:22:54 against these mages that are running towards the dragon are gonna try to intercept the book. They have a minus one, so they need to roll insanely well. I already rolled the 22. They literally can't beat you. I'll say a Nat 20 will do a roll off. No, Nat 20, you successfully catch the book. Hey, it's got 35 HP in it.
Starting point is 00:23:15 That is about the only thing I can do with this book is catch it, but I'll look at it if I get hurt. That's what I'm counting on. Keep an eye on Balm or two. And then I will give moonshine 30 HP with touch hands. Yo, you just saved my life. I'm not, I'll tell you why I'm short. Okay. As a bonus action, can I apply some eye drops to a lannus's eyes to help her concentrate? Sure. Yeah. I give her some holy eye drops. Super appreciate that.
Starting point is 00:23:43 Absolutely. I will also say this about a lot is a lot is is holding up this barrier So she can't really do anything on her turns. I'm gonna say if she uses an action or a bonus action It's gonna break the thing and the rituals will basically automatically succeed on the major turns however She has reaction so she can cast counter spell I will say it in an extreme situation she can cast counter spell But if she does that she's gonna roll disadvantage to keep the barrier Okay, so it's like taking some of her power. Yeah
Starting point is 00:24:12 I shout to her if he power word kills me. I'm fine Thanks to babe. I'm gonna go ahead and cast shield of faith is my bonus action sweet. I'm trying to At the end of your turn, Akarat is going to go ahead and use a legendary action. This actually costs three legendary actions. I'm going to need Beverly and moonshine to go ahead and give me constitution saving throws. I'm gonna disrupt your life. That's what this skill is called.
Starting point is 00:24:43 18. How do you roll so well? Yeah! Ha! Ha! Whoo! Whoo! I got a constitution 22, Jesus.
Starting point is 00:24:53 Yeah. Oh, now I'm near Bev, so I actually got more than 18. All right, you guys still take 11 damage. That's halved already. Whoo! Ha-ha. This is so much better. Sweet.
Starting point is 00:25:03 Then that is back around to Alonus's turn. Alonus rolls a new check. So she has plus 13, I'll roll in front of the table. Cool. Come on, come on, come on. That's nice. That's a 12, that puts the difficulty at a 25. That is a chunk of darey.
Starting point is 00:25:23 25, that difficulty could rent a car. For them to be, Moonshan, that's a chunky dairy. 25, that's difficulty good rent a car. For them to be, Munchan, that's your turn. That's a big bottle of Diet Coke at DC. Oh yeah. Let's talk about how many, can I update how many mages are at each of these four remaining husks? Two gods have already been transported. There are three trying to transport the Noloway.
Starting point is 00:25:44 There are five at the Demogorgon. And then there are five at the dinosaur. There are six running towards the five-headed dragon. That station already has two. So there will be eight there soon. Yeah, so I guess I'm going for, I'm just going for this bottom layer. For the bottom layer. You're gonna get two at each. Yeah. Okay. Fails all around. Whoo! 31 damage to everyone you kill Two that are after the Demigorgon and you killed two that are going after the no there's only one left at the no
Starting point is 00:26:12 He's gonna roll with disadvantage. Well, I could also spores him. Okay. He spores him for 18 He's still alive, but he's hurts and then pop-off and go after him Yeah, yeah, okay-off is gonna miss, but I will take a bonus action to look at Bebs' Amulets. Nice. Sweet. You go ahead and look at the Amulets. That is Acarats' layer action.
Starting point is 00:26:35 Acarats is going to target Beverly. It's an okay layer. Pulls out this crackling cord of negative energy and whips it around you like tethers you to him. But why is it with the whips? And nothing happens yet, but you are now connected to Acarot. Oh, he's going to use like a fucking hollow body.
Starting point is 00:26:59 Don't like that. Then that is hard one's turn. All right, there's still two mages at this dragon and there's six more coming. On the way, yeah. Okay, so I'll swing at the two that are there. 29 to hit. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:17 That does. I remembered earlier when a 16 to two. 19 damage. Kill one, injure another one. Right, 26 to hit. Hits. 17 damage. Superhertz.
Starting point is 00:27:32 Gonna need a roll for your dwarf daddies. Wait, I get one more attack. 20, not naps. Yep, hits. 22 damage. You successfully kill this last one. Cool, I dropped you come into. I dropped it to the fire. Yes.
Starting point is 00:27:46 Balnor used your gun on, there's currently a group of three. Use your gun on the group of three. On the demigorgon? Yeah, they got three. And if we can take out one, they'll have disadvantage on the role. Sweet, Balnor takes out that gun. He takes out his gun.
Starting point is 00:28:02 And it's going to start taking some shots. I think some of them are injured, right? No, you took out some hurt ones. But they don't have that much HP. We'll see what Balnor can do here. Yeah, that is Balnor's turn. He'll take three shots from 50 feet away. Yeah, he hits three times.
Starting point is 00:28:17 Yeehaw! Come on, Balnor. I believe. 20 damage to one of them. Three of them are still alive. Ugh! At the Dimmie Gordon? At the Dimmie Gordon, okay?
Starting point is 00:28:29 That is the mages turn. They're going to do their roles. It is going to be very difficult. Five-headed dragon does not roll at all because hard one ball nor have taken out all their guys. We'll have big old dinosaur roll first. So they have a plus six, they need a 19 to get no roll off and a nat 20 to successfully do this. Okay, too bad.
Starting point is 00:28:52 Oh, you got a two crew again. Shout out to the two crew. They have been bending the two crews ears. Thank you to crew. This is now the nole god. Nole thank you. That's a 12 no-thank you the demigorgan And that is a fail Fail Close one that was an 18 really around don't took organ that is Akarats turn Akarats have in turn. Don't you I love it. I love going Love having turns don't you I love it. I love going
Starting point is 00:29:29 You really enjoy the go I like coming better Hardwood spits out quick water Why are you drinking? Your job you take it take a beat he's going to cast power word stun On you Beverly do you have 150 hit points or fewer? No, I'm at 163 currently. It does absolutely nothing That's why we all got to be on our freaking hit point All right, you're the you're the possible
Starting point is 00:30:02 What did you just turn my own god? Yeah, what did you do? It seemed like you said something. You had a real fur on your brow. Like you were concentrating with a nothing happened. It wasn't even my turn, I don't think. Was it a upset tummy? You said it wasn't.
Starting point is 00:30:14 You said I love going. It wasn't your exact look. You know what? Did I love going and then nothing happened? Sure. You did like a really loud burr. Sure, that is your turn, Beverly. Okay.
Starting point is 00:30:27 Oh, sweet. Should I try and, again, I'm kind of defaulting to moonshine here. Should I go for the mages or should I try and use the fact that I'm literally tethered to Akarat to distract him? I think you should distract Akarat. All right. You're a, you're a force in nature
Starting point is 00:30:46 and evil doesn't fare so well against you. You know what, you got the lightning? I got the light. Let's do this. I'm going to spin around so that this rope just spins us closer and closer together. Noodle, noodle yourself. You do.
Starting point is 00:31:03 Beverly and Akira, I'madna never ending dance. Never ending noodle actually. Let's tango you dang devil. And yeah I've got my sword out as I'm spinning closer and closer. I'm gonna take you. I'm gonna true strike on this one. Sweet. You spin me wrong. Wrong. wrong, Brown. Like a devil baby. Just a straight 20 hit. Straight 20 does hit. Nice. OK, thank you.
Starting point is 00:31:31 So when we go into the Goth Club, that's playing. I am going to do a fun new combo. I'm going to do a staggering divine smite. OK. Yeah. So that's going to be a 4G6 psychic damage, first of all. Okay. 11 psychic damage.
Starting point is 00:31:49 Ocarot is going to need to make a wisdom saving throw. He got, yeah, he got a 21. Oh, that's gonna pass. I'm a wise boy. I'm a wise boy. You know me, you know this. Why are you a wise man? If you're so, If you're so...
Starting point is 00:32:06 I got sorry, I got so used to talking about dads and stuff. Fucking weirdo love dads. And you love being little boys. You're the one that love... You pose to my dad. I hear my own dad. I hear my own dad. You're your own dad.
Starting point is 00:32:18 Okay, actually I find that to be so much of an inspiration. Yeah, very nice. So we're like, uh, phrase. So I am gonna... I I am going to steal that, but I'm going to credit it to Ilson. Ha, ha. I imagine I get an extra D8 on this. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:31 This is a third level divine smite. That's right. Yeah, baby. 41 damage. So 52 total. Yes. Bev. Go ahead and give me a constitution saving throw.
Starting point is 00:32:43 OK. Oh, he's taking your damn it. You're taking his damage motherfucker. Oh my gosh Really? Walked right into that didn't I It's seven plus four eleven. That's a fail. God damn it half of that Oh as you swing into him there's an equal radiant explosion back at you. You can do this all day boy.
Starting point is 00:33:09 So that is not going anywhere. He's pulling the clasps. What a cowardly move. Why are you hitting yourself? You found a fucking adolescent boy and made him take you ten in yourself to an adolescent boy and made him take your damage. You're not a dad. You're a big brother.
Starting point is 00:33:23 Oh my god. You take 26 damage. You're not a dad, you're a big brother. Oh my god. You take 26 damage, bro. 26 damage, yikes. God, what a coward. Oh, I need to roll concentration, don't I? Oh, yeah. All right, let me roll concentration
Starting point is 00:33:34 to see if Shilda Faith stays up. I'm gonna reroll that one. Yikes. So lucky. Now 20. Woo! Okay. That made the heave also passes his next concentration role what no Even though I'm taking half the damage from this tendril does it still looks like he took it still it looks like he took damage
Starting point is 00:33:56 Fuck it then. Let's let's keep rolling. All right. So you're gonna take a second attack. Yep 22 hit all right great. I will just do a normal attack this time. Okay. You don't want to smite me. I really think that you can't get into this with him. What are you at? Hip point wise. I'm still over 100.
Starting point is 00:34:14 Okay. But yeah, I will do damage now, but then I'm trying to get out next time. 24 damage, so I take 12 more. No, you can do a conceiving through. Oh, cool. Oh, that's going to be a 29 on that. That passes, he takes damage and you don't. Oh, great.
Starting point is 00:34:33 Oh, great, great. So there's a saving grace to it. Cool, so I don't take any damage. You don't take any damage. Great, but this is not an amazing situation that I find myself in. Yeah, and Ron just stay over 100 hit points. Yeah, okay.
Starting point is 00:34:44 He's going to use it. I find myself. Yeah, everyone just stay over 100 hit points. Yeah, okay. He's going to use it at the end of your turn. Use a legendary action to paralyzing touch you. No, we're tethered together. Where's my hug? I can't be two. I did end a son and an uncle all at once. He does crit, but the big thing is that it's a paralyzing touch. So go ahead and give me a constitution saving.
Starting point is 00:35:04 Who, boy? Nine. it's a paralyzing touch. So go ahead and give me a constitution saving. Ooh boy. Nine. That is a fail. Cool. So you take 23 damage and you are paralyzed for one minute. Target can repeat the saving throw at the end of each of its turns, ending on a success. Can I say that he's also paralyzed because he's wrapped up with me?
Starting point is 00:35:22 Yeah, yeah, he's mocking you. It's offensive. It looks like we're going like skydiving or something, and you're my instructor. What's going on? You're so right, I'm just gonna take you skydiving boy. I don't know what a trash dog. That is back around to Alonus' turn.
Starting point is 00:35:38 Alonus is gonna do a new role. Just gotta plus their teen or arcana. Come on girl, you got this. Hey. That's a six. Just got a plus 13 or a corner Come on girl, you got this Hey That's a six so that's a DC 19 check for all these mages That is back around to moonshine all right. I'm going after the one straggler and then the three as many of the three Okay with a lightning bolt. Okay. I'll say you get two that are near the Demigurgan and there's only one left by the Null they all fail 23
Starting point is 00:36:07 23 fully kills one that is at the Null the other ones live But I'm one of them is looking super super hurt. Okay, Papa's gonna go after the one who's looking super super hurt 23 to hit that hits Noble beast 23 to hit. That hits noble beast. 10. Papa kills one. Seven. Nice.
Starting point is 00:36:30 And then I would like to 18. Is anyone else looking damaged? Yes, there's one that's looking damaged. That is now extremely damaged. So all the ones at the Holy Nollor Dunn. All the ones at the Holy Nollor Dunn, Demogorgon still has two guys, but one of them's hurts. That is back around to Akarot's Lair action. The cord goes away from you, Bev.
Starting point is 00:36:53 It is no longer on you, but he's once again gonna call the spirits to attack you. The spirits of the damned are high, spiritually. Go ahead and give me a con saving throw. Okay. So many con saving throws this time. Wow. I mean, come on.
Starting point is 00:37:10 Come on. It's not going to hide. Ooh, oh my god. 22. Yeah, that'll do it. I might, but you take half. Okay, 31 damage. Woof.
Starting point is 00:37:20 Hey, Icarat, did you think this is how you're going to spend your day? Did you think that you were going to have to spend? I mean, I would think that you probably plan this ritual that you would kind of enjoy it You'd probably like see I wanted to send 12 Perfectly ordered gods. I would have done like a whole thing There would have been a couple in the middle. It would have been much more organized This is not me what you're seeing here is not me. Do you have like a day of plan or because they fire them? You do?
Starting point is 00:37:46 I am my own day off plan. You know, day off plan, you're a dad. I would let yourself do it. Yeah, I would fire myself very you because I don't even see like any sort of like past apps. You gotta learn to delegate hard one that's your turn. Yeah, this place is a mess.
Starting point is 00:38:04 Hard one. This layer shards Yeah, this place is a mess. Hard one. This is a sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- It sh- Are they close enough that I can run 30 feet and get to them? All right sweet. I'm gonna I'm gonna dive 30 feet like really cool fashion. Okay, really cool Skin your knees so bad 24 to hit that hits 24 damage sweet looking quite hurts but still alive 24 to hit and 16 damage still alive 24 to hit again. Wow. It's 18 damage.
Starting point is 00:38:49 Fully kill one and injure another one. Okay, pops. I know it's not a hot tub, a bit more of a steam room or a saw or something. Yeah, they're going to go ahead and roll saving throws. Two of them save, three of them fail. 18 damage this time. Sweet.
Starting point is 00:39:09 At the end of Hard One's turn, the only thing, Acarot. Acarot has a bunch of things that cost two layer actions. There's a bunch of things that cost two legendary actions, so he has to do a can trip on February. Call from your bank. Accurate, did you spend too much? You're getting to overdraft, bud. He is going to cast Rey of Frost on February.
Starting point is 00:39:34 Oh, that's a good can trip. So that is a 22 to hit. Oh, that just hits. Okay, so he's gonna do 48 of damage. He does 21 damage to you. And then that is Balnor's turn. Don't like it. Balnor is going to join hard one, run down, and start trying to fight these mages. Swings at one, hits on the first attack. Shout out to the two group, but can we roll that? It hits on the second attack, hits on the third attack.
Starting point is 00:40:07 He's gonna do 32 damage total. He kills one and greatly injures another. There are four of these mage guys left. There you go, me and the dad's up here in the muck. That is the mages' turns. The ones that are running towards the five-headed dragon are going to keep running. You and Balnor each get an attack on one of them.
Starting point is 00:40:31 Sweet, who looks the most? There is one that looks on Death Store. I'm gonna try to kill him. Sweet. 26 to... That hits. 16 damage. Hard one, you fully kill that one.
Starting point is 00:40:46 I just take my boot off and I throw it at the back of the text. And you do a bunch of damage to another one. My boot is going to take your bootmaring. Bounder is going to take his attack. And he is going to hit. Ooh, this is really good. If Bounder kills this guy and he does, now there's only two left, the is really good. I found our kills this guy and he does. Yes. Now there's only two left.
Starting point is 00:41:07 The two get there. This is the day are going to, they have to roll with disadvantage. So we're going around again. Only three are rolling. Only three are rolling. Two of them roll a disadvantage. So we'll do the disadvantage ones first.
Starting point is 00:41:22 We'll do Demigorgon first. Rolls with disadvantage. They need a 13 or higher. Good freaking luck. That's a five. They have. Oh nice. Now we're gonna do one for the five headed dragon. Oh God. That's in that one. Now the big old dinosaur. we're gonna roll just regular. They still get all five. That is a natural 18, that one gets through.
Starting point is 00:41:53 Oh god damn it. Chat is a powerful one, that's one that we did not want to know. Yeah, you see Alonus goes, no! You'll know that later, that is Akarot's turn. Akarot is going to take a chance here. I don't know what HP you're at, but he's going to attempt to cast Powerward Kill on Beverly. Okay. What HP do I need to be above? 100.
Starting point is 00:42:27 I'm at 63 HP. Alana, take the disadvantage. You see the barrier start to flicker and she throws, no, a ninth level count. Don't. It's worth it. Keep the barrier. She looks at you, Moonshine,
Starting point is 00:42:44 and then she tries to maintain her concentration as the mages fight against her. How can someone so smart be so dumb? I think that was the right thing to do. Maybe. That doesn't feel right. But I'm thankful nonetheless. That is
Starting point is 00:43:07 Beverly Stern. Okay. Well shit, the Dino guy's through. Is there anything I can do? No, you're this is just the paralyzing side. So I just need to go ahead and roll a constitution. Just roll a constitution check in the next turn. You'll be Back to normal. All right, cool. Let's hope that I actually get out of paralysis. Hmm 11 you gosh, 11. You're still stuck. So it is going to use a legendary action to use a cantrip on you, 29 to hits. It's gonna do the ray of frost again, 20 damage.
Starting point is 00:43:39 Okay, and then that is a lot of this is turn. A lot of this is gonna roll with disadvantage. Shhh. Solid. Nice. She rolled in 11 and 12. It was worth it. Oh, so that's...
Starting point is 00:43:53 That wasn't worth it no matter what. Yeah, that is a... Sorry for doubting. 24 on the lower one. Good for her. Nice. Good at magic. That is...
Starting point is 00:44:03 Moonshot's turn. I would like what I would like to do. And I think I can get a couple guys and Akra. I want a cast sunbeam, which is a 60 foot line from myself on Akra and maybe a couple other folk. Okay, I'm gonna say this is a very big room. You can get Akra and one other person.
Starting point is 00:44:23 Is there two guys right near me with the Demi Gorgon or whatever? Two guys at the Demi Gorgon. So I guess I would like to try and do sun beam on Akra and one of those guys. Okay, cool. They do a Constitution saving throw on a failed save that takes 68 radiant damage and are blinded until the next turn on success We'll say they take half that month aren't blinded. the next turn on success will say they take half that much and aren't blinded. Accorot passes, the guy fails. Mm. 30.
Starting point is 00:44:49 Fully kill another guy at the Demogorgon and do 15 damage to Accorot. Beautiful. That is Accorot's gonna take a legendary action to make a spell attack on Bev hits with the Rea Frost again. You know, I would've never rejected your coin if and you're gonna take it so badly 18 damage Coin do the coin boy. Oh, Papa didn't go. Yeah, you can make papa attack the other guy. No, Papa. Yeah, Papa's gonna attack a crack Oh, this little rat. Oh, now you're in for it. Yeah
Starting point is 00:45:23 19 wait no, yeah in for it. Yeah. 19? Wait, no, yeah, 19. 19 hits. Yeah, yeah. 10. That is Akarot's Lair Action. Akarot is gonna go ahead and once again, tether himself to Beverly. That is Hard One Stern.
Starting point is 00:45:40 All right, how many mages are near me now? You got two near the drag and five near the dinosaur. Okay. Oh wait, the dinosaur's gone. Just five that are free, are ready to find work. Wow. Okay. I guess since those guys haven't found a station yet,
Starting point is 00:45:58 I'm gonna keep on hacking at the ones at the two at the dragon. Yeah, cool ones by the dragon. That's the big mommy. I crit on those guys. Yeah, I mean yeah Sick you simply have to you really got to crit sometimes when in doubt crit for all those people that have been adding me that I haven't been critting enough Actually hard one was saving all his crits for this episode. That's right. So this is for my haters
Starting point is 00:46:23 That's 30 damage to those guys. 30 damage, you fully kill. Oh, no, actually one is super hurt, but not. It's on literal death's door. Cool. I got two more turns. It could not be more hurt. It'd be pretty sad if I couldn't.
Starting point is 00:46:38 That is 21 to hit. Hits. 18 damage. Kill one and begin to injure another one. Looks quite hurt. Kill the other one. 19 hit. That hits.
Starting point is 00:46:52 And 18 damage. Kill that other one. There are none by the five-headed dragon at the moment. So and there's none that my son of daddy's can hit right now. I'm none that your son of daddy's can hit. No. Alright, cool. Let's get in a quick, good, shfits.
Starting point is 00:47:06 Yeah, sweet. Open up your pores. Bound or, I guess, is just going to hold a reaction and kind of wait and see where the mages run to and kind of try to chase them down. The mages have to get, it is 50 feet between any points in the triangles, so they can't get to the
Starting point is 00:47:26 God in one turn. What should they do here? Give up. Jump in the lava. I think I think I say, hey I'm your new queen now and I produce flame around my head like I'm wearing a flaming crown. They follow you. Wow. Wow, why didn't I do that for the stars? Really got to trial the options. Three of the mages that were at the dragon
Starting point is 00:47:49 are gonna start making their way down towards the null. Actually, no, you know what? They're trying to bring this fucking dragon back. All five of them are just gonna start running towards the fucking dragon. And in fact, they're gonna start running there, and then they're going to misty step and get right up next to it,
Starting point is 00:48:09 so they're ready to do it on next turn. So five dudes show up at the dragon, Balnor runs at them, is gonna take some swings, hits on the first attack, hits on the second attack, misses on the last attack. Balnor does 20 damage and hurts one of them, but the other four are in good shape.
Starting point is 00:48:29 The robe's billow a bit and we see how toned they are. Then the other mages, there's literally just one now at the Demigurgen who's gonna roll with disadvantage to try to send the Demigurgen. I feel like I could do it with my myself. I'm not. Are you from Frostwood? In another life? to try to send the Demogorgon. I feel like I could do it with my myself. Ha ha. Are you from Frostwood? You have another life?
Starting point is 00:48:48 That's a two and a four. They do not do it. They do a bad job. They do work in the top of the world. Absolutely bad job. That's Rodi and his dad. I feel like I know it in my heart for some reason. End of the mages turn.
Starting point is 00:48:58 They are going to take another, Akra is going to do another ray of Frost on Bev. That is a hit. That is a 25 to hit. Oh, 25 to hit, yeah, yeah. That hits. Y'all, my HP has been whittled significantly. That is 24 damage.
Starting point is 00:49:15 And that is Akarot's turn. He's lost a lot of spell slots. He should probably just like drink some peteolite or something. What? What would I need that? You look you look wasted man. You look absolutely just spent I asked you a carot like what why didn't you want to be immortal to begin with you just like really like living? Is it a nice for life?
Starting point is 00:49:39 You do because seems like you surround yourself with hollow body You do, because it seems like you surround yourself with hollow bodies. Yeah, they're hollow bodies. So Bev Akarats is going to cast finger of death on you while you're paralyzed. Oh, you see deathly energy swirling around his finger as he closes in on you. Go ahead and give me a constitution saving throw. Hmm, seven. That fails. You take 64 damage.
Starting point is 00:50:12 Well, I was at 1 HP, so that was a waste of attack. You go down. I'm down. Good job using what I imagine was a fairly high level spell. Yes, sucker. Oh, no. So, no, no. So embarrassing. I don't even care.
Starting point is 00:50:27 I think it comes back to that day of coordinator. Oh, yeah. This is just something you should be prepared for. It's me. I'm my own day of coordinator, Bev. That's your turn. Go ahead and meet a death saving throw. Oh, boy.
Starting point is 00:50:38 Here we are again. That's a four. That's a fail. At the end of your turn, he is going to go ahead. Don't be shy. Seriously, you're going to keep picking on a teenager? Yeah, dude, he's fucking dead. Come by us.
Starting point is 00:50:57 This is absolutely pathetic. You go after the teenage boy. He looks up at Alonus and Smirks and casts a can trip on Bev. And you see, she debates whether or not to do a counter spell. This would just do one failed death save on Bev, because it's not a melee attack, so it's not an auto crit. She looks to you guys you guys don't move she does not do a counter spell Beth has two failed tapes. Wait she doesn't do a counter spell? No no no one told her to that is a lannus is turned we got him a
Starting point is 00:51:34 lannus. I didn't know that she was looking to us for that. That is a lannus is turned a lannus is gonna go ahead and roll regular old concentration check. Regular old concentration check. That is in that 20. Yeah! Woo! All right. Does that mean anything special or just shield is real good? That means that she has a 33 and it would literally
Starting point is 00:51:56 be impossible for anyone to do anything. Yeah. However, he is going to use another legendary action to once again Cast Rea Frost on Bev use your reaction Alonus Alonus counter spells the Cantrip
Starting point is 00:52:14 Just first level or just third level counter spell just use a third level. She's gonna need to roll with disadvantage next time That's fine. I didn't know you were looking does for advice. Always the counter spell That is that is moonshine's turn. I didn't know you were looking for advice. Always the counter spell. That is that is moonshine stern. I'm gonna cast a sixth level, but I'm casting it at seventh level heel. I'm Bev. So you get 80 hit points. Yeah. And I'm gonna throw him out of the way out of Akarazway. Okay. And fuck it, I'll bonus action going to a rage and grapple acarots so we can't go acar bed.
Starting point is 00:52:48 Babe, heal yourself up, because you need to get above 100. I got you to 80, but I can't get any further right now. I'll do what I can. So you don't have- I'm gonna spore them. Okay. Pop-O is gonna attack me. Re-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e- Man, you guys come out with a vengeance. Just leap in. Nice moonshine.
Starting point is 00:53:05 Do I'm gonna do a grapple? If you're gonna do a heel, you can't do an action. So, but I'll say you threw Bev as a free action. You threw Bev. And Papa was gonna attack. Yes. Papa gets a 20, not that. That hits.
Starting point is 00:53:20 I saw the dust mother. She doesn't have nearly as cool a boat as a puller. Eleven from Papa 18. Uh, acidic from me. Still looking pretty good, but not loving life. At the end of your turn, you can use a legendary action to Rayafrost you. Alright, bring it on.
Starting point is 00:53:40 Bring it on, come on. Uh, misses. Ha ha ha! That is Acarats' layer action. Acarats is going to um, roll a d8, regain a spell slot based on that. Well, I can't get a ninth level. And he gets a sixth level spell back. That is hard one's turn. Why won't you mage is just fucking die already so I can fight the devil
Starting point is 00:54:10 So are you obsessed with my mages? I'm not I hate them Yeah, they went down were a little easy mages That was a one, but I'm gonna use a luck points. Okay, ah Like a true halfling. That's right. So that's an 18 hit. That hits.
Starting point is 00:54:30 22 damage. Sweet, one is very hurt. 17 hit. Hits. 15 damage. Kill one, do seven damage to another one. Fit is a 15 hit him. 15 does hit him, yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:45 Oh wow. Swin robes. Little bitches. 24 damage. This one's looking quite hurt, but still alive. Let's see if my three dwarf and daddies can do some shit. Two saves, two fails. 15 damage.
Starting point is 00:55:01 One of them is on death's door and the other ones take a pounding from the door of InDaddy. Finish the Belnor. That is Balnor's turn. Balnor's gonna go after him, takes three swings. That's the Bound or crit. You still have not rolled a nat 20 because you're cursed, right? That's right. I rolled a nat 20. I'm not a creep before, but I rolled a 19. Sorry for everybody that already sent those.
Starting point is 00:55:36 I mean, you said those ats. Bound or 39 damage. Jacob, I hope you never crit again. Thanks man. I want to hope you never crit again. Haha. Thanks man. Haha. Um, fully. I want a little bit of 19s for you. Holy, fully kills one that's on Death's Door and now there are only two left total by the drag.
Starting point is 00:55:56 Okay, by the five headed dragon, yeah. Okay, that's disadvantage, right? Yep. Yeah. That is the major's turn. They are gonna try, but they literally cannot, I'm not even gonna roll for them, they cannot possibly beat a 33. That is Akarat's turn, Akarat smiles at you, Moon Shine, then looks past you and casts disintegrate on Bev.
Starting point is 00:56:22 Beverely still has not recovered from being paralyzed by the paralyzing touch. Bev automatically fails the deck safe. Cool. 68 damage to you, Bev. Alright, I'm still up. Do you guys know what disintegrate does if you get to zero? No. You literally disintegrate.
Starting point is 00:56:40 Oh my god. That is Oh my God. Um, that is Bev's turn. Bev, go ahead and give me a constitution saving throw. Okay. Why are you picking on me? Because you're the one who can do the most damage to us. 17? 17 fails. Oh gosh.
Starting point is 00:57:01 All right, that's very frustrating. Yeah. Gonna go ahead and shoot you with a can trip. I'm sorry. Ooh, even with advantage. Mrs. Nice. That is a Lannus' turn. Lannus rolls with disadvantage to keep up the shield.
Starting point is 00:57:18 But there's not really that many guys left. So you guys aren't that much danger. Oh, okay. You hear that, though? Yeah. Why do I feel so safe now? That is a natural one. So that is only 14.
Starting point is 00:57:32 That is end of a lot of sister and gonna shoot you, if you have does hits. Probably going down again. 21 damage. Yep. Down again. Down, that is back up to. Down again. First back down. That is back up to Moonshan.
Starting point is 00:57:46 First things first, Papa's going to attack. RAAAAMN! That's gonna hit. So that's gonna be 10 damage and Akira has to do a strength saving throw or be knocked from. By a fucking rap, as you call him. Fails, but it's gonna use a legendary resistance to stay up.
Starting point is 00:58:08 You do use your lullaby on that? Oh, just like furiously wrestles with Pa Pa. I guess what I wanna do is use stone shape to make a tiny coffin for Bev so that, so that, Acro-oc can attack him. Sweet. So Acro won't have a line of sight. You make a little cocoon for Bev so that, so that, Acrook can attack him. Sweet.
Starting point is 00:58:26 So Acro won't have a line of sight. You make a little cocoon for Bev. Okay. Sweet. That's what I do. I'm sorry. I will deal with you in a second. I just, he's gonna keep going after you.
Starting point is 00:58:37 It's, oh, that's good. And am I at least like sticking my tongue out in the face on the sarcophagus? Yeah, I'm gonna heal you the second. But if I heal you, I'll just bring you up for him to then bring you down. This is smart. Yeah. Sweet. Any return he's gonna shoot at you, Moonshine with a ray of frost. He actually misses. Also hard one can break open the coffin with his hammer.
Starting point is 00:59:00 That is his layer action. Moonshine needs you to go ahead and make a constitution saving throw. As spirits. Spirits of the damned. Rise again. Rise. Join me. Six. That is a fail.
Starting point is 00:59:18 Is it? Believe it or not. What level spells is this? You board your friends to death and then make them hang out with you. 54 damage when trying. This is the voice of Bev inside your head because I'm dead. Sorry, I can't talk.
Starting point is 00:59:31 That is hard on Stern. I'm sorry, should I maybe not open the casket now and just kill the mages? Kill the mages. Technically, I'm thinking about in my head is like it's a little thing that can't be opened so that Acherot can't go after him Just to try and buy time
Starting point is 00:59:58 It's a very sad boy coffin It's like a little like king-tut, sarcophagus. He would be sad coffin! How hard one would you like to do? All right, I'm gonna fucking kill these mages. Sweet. 17 damage. 17 damage. That greatly hurts one.
Starting point is 01:00:19 Ooh, oh, 16 hits. 21 damage. Kill one, injure another slightly. And 17 to hit again. 14 damage. injure this one. And my daddies. They pass.
Starting point is 01:00:36 Takes half. Take half of 12. Sweet six. This thing is on Death's door. Boundless gonna run forward and go after the last one. Yeah. Hits on the first attack, hits on the second attack, hits on the third attack. IEC Boundar cuts this last mage down. There's still one down by the Deppie Gorgon just working so damn hard. It is that one's turned. That one is gonna roll. That one's gonna roll with disadvantage. She rolled really bad.
Starting point is 01:01:04 So she only got a 14. She got a 14. Yeah, so she got a 14, so he is gonna roll with disadvantage, we'll see what happens. Oh boy, this one's gone through. That is a 14, so we're gonna do a roll off. Oh, who wants to roll for a Lana, who's feeling lucky?
Starting point is 01:01:21 Not me. I'm not feeling lucky either Balmore Alright I'll roll against myself Okay First one, do they get to add their arcana? Yeah they'll add their arcana First one is Alonus
Starting point is 01:01:35 That's an ad swanmy That's funny Alonus just fucking destroys this dude It's not even close Um, dog turds That is Back around to Akarat. You have to go get me. Akarat.
Starting point is 01:01:50 You have to go crack this coffin. Go to battle the little stone egg. I'm going to curse you. I'm going to nasty little mummy. I don't know where you went. I don't know who you're talking about. He's going to attack Moonshine with a paralyzing touch. Let's see if he hits first.
Starting point is 01:02:07 Yeah, that's a 29-hit. Moonshine, go ahead and give me a constitution saving throw. Ooh. 10. Moonshine, you are hit for nine cold damage and you are paralyzed until you can be the DC-18 con check at the end of your turns.
Starting point is 01:02:22 That is Bev's turn. Bev, go ahead and give me Deaths turns. That is Bev's turn, Bev go ahead and give me death save. Ooh. That's a nine. Okay, that's a fail for Bev. The coffin is cozy though. In my death like state, I'm enjoying the cold musky, cellar temperature.
Starting point is 01:02:37 Get to go ahead and take a can trip, attack on moonshine and crits with Ray of Frost. 36 damage. I'm not good. On Alonus's turn, she's gonna play it safe. And she's just going to fireball at a third level, just fireball this last mage. Nice.
Starting point is 01:02:59 Out of existence. Homeicadex save. He fails. He is gone. Yeah. Alonus burns him away. We've got Alonus helping us out. We'll be only ages.
Starting point is 01:03:07 Wow, I want to go on. I want to go on. I want to go on. I want to go on. Alonus won. Then Acro takes a legendary action after Alonus's turn. Does hit Moon Shine with a can trip. 11 damage.
Starting point is 01:03:20 That is Moon Shine's turn. N2V your turn Moon Shine. Go ahead and give me a con saving throw. Oh. Oh. N turn, Moon Shine. Go ahead and give me a con saving for the office. Nat 20. Yeah. Does that mean I get a turn? You pop out of it.
Starting point is 01:03:30 No, I'm sorry. It's at the end of your turn. What is the point of an ad 20 then? I know. What is the point of an ad 20? It's even true. It shoots you with a can trip and misses. That's what the nat 20's for.
Starting point is 01:03:42 All right. Good karma. Oh, wait. Papa gets an action. Yeah. Papa's got good berry 20s for. All right. Good karma. Oh, wait. Papa gets an action. Yeah. Papa's got good berry. Can Papa go give bev a good berry?
Starting point is 01:03:49 Scrramble into the coffin. Yeah. Papa can definitely scramble in the coffin. Yeah. Papa's going to give a good berry. Beav. Goes in, brings bev up to one. Boo.
Starting point is 01:04:01 Oh my gosh. Where am I? What's going on? You just, Papa almost pressed up against you in this tiny dark area. You're scratching, you're scratching, you're scratching. You're scrambling out, he's claustrophobic. Oh, I also, but I still can use my reaction at the end of my turn.
Starting point is 01:04:15 Yeah, it doesn't say anything about not having reactions. That's weird, but yeah, okay. Then another 18. Mm, you just like vomit some spores at him. Oh, yeah, I was paralyzed. He's good, very just one. Yeah, good, very vomit some spores at him Dad I was paralyzed He's good. Very just one. Yeah, okay. I guess I'm still paralyzed though Yeah, yeah, I'm just paralyzed in a box Even he helped for paralysis a possum just like you and you just can't move
Starting point is 01:04:41 An actual nightmare scratch my foot and seems like you're afraid of possums and this is like immersion therapy or something oh no Joe Rogan put me on fear factor okay this is his layer action is going to go ahead and roll a d8 to get back a spell slot level not fucking helpful that's level four he's already got all his level four is what a waste Sorry for him that is Prayers that is hard ones turn Right, so I'm gonna tuck in roll and jump onto Beverly's grave. We don't have to call it grave anymore Cool, sorry your mausoleum You're right over to Beverly's Muzzleam. Papa has wedged a big crack in there that you can reach
Starting point is 01:05:26 and you just see a possum scrambling in there like crazy. All right, well I want it. I says I can see Papa, I'm gonna hit the Muzzleam with my hammer right where Papa is not. Sweet, you crack it. Okay, John, Beverly is birthed from the shell. Hey, read this and I shove the book in his face. Sweet. Okay, okay Beverly is birthed from the shell. Hey Read this and I shove the book in his face sweet. I can't read with my mouth
Starting point is 01:05:53 You are healed for how much you want to heal him for all of it I guess you could leave a little bit if you want to bring somebody up at some point. Okay. I'll so I'll so 34 Okay, great sweet. I'm bev you pop back up. Are you still paralyzed? For 35, I'm still paralyzed. Oh, damn it. I can't figure out any way to get you on paralyzed. That was what I got to say. Okay, can I give him help on his constate or something? I'll say with a lay hand, still get help on his constate. Akarot is scared of my smites.
Starting point is 01:06:17 What can I say? I see Boundor runs forward. He's gonna take three cracks at Akarot, green sword glowing. Oh, any hits. Love that, every time. Two times. It's gonna take three cracks at Akarat's green sword glowing. Any hits, love that every time. Two times. 20 damage total.
Starting point is 01:06:30 Akarat's looking pretty messed up. That is back around two Akarat's turn. Akarat doesn't have as many of his fucking fancy spells left. A fully squatted over Beverly's body. He does not have a direct line of sight on him. It asks his massive. He spells left. I'm fully squatted over Beverly's body. He does not have a direct line of sight on him. It asks his massive. I'm just admiring it.
Starting point is 01:06:52 It's so taught. How does he get into those jeans? This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs. They're a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall in the age old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered. Now we all know when the legwear war begins and we're forced to choose a side, it's gonna be difficult. Luckily Bird Dogs has made the decision of which pants and shorts to buy a little easier.
Starting point is 01:07:20 Bird Dogs stretchy khakis are designed to fit slimmer through the thigh and leg to give you a truly sculpted look. And instead of making their clothes out of restricting cotton, Bird Dog's invented a cloud knit fabric that looks just like khaki, but stretches so you get a way slimmer fit without having to sacrifice movement. And trust me, you are going to need all the movement you can get when you and your brothers and legs are out there on the battlefield kicking the shit out of your rivals. So when the lower body battle begins
Starting point is 01:07:47 and brother is forced to kick brother, make sure you are wearing bird dogs. To get yours and a free Yeti-style tumbler, go to birddogs.com slash pop-off or enter promo code pop-off at checkout. That's birddogs.com slash pop-off or promo code pop-off for a free Yeti style tumbler. You won't want to take your bird dogs off, we promise you.
Starting point is 01:08:09 Okay, that's it for me, go team pants and enjoy the show. Uh, he goes to cast Cloudkill over all of you guys. Guess what, we're a munit poison bitch. Holy shit, you're completely immune to poison yeah you see Alonus is about to wave her hand to cast a counter spell she just let them have it you see acid or you see poison rain starts falling down you guys are just fine my acne it's finally I'm killing you Is it killing you? Is it killing you bad? I turn into like a wet t-shirt contest
Starting point is 01:08:50 I cried is this keels? This is from keels? My hair looks awesome when it's wet That is your turn You said I can roll with advantage this time Thank you hard one I'll say you can either do Regular roll at the beginning of your turn or advantage at the end pick one. Wow
Starting point is 01:09:07 Oh I'm doing at the beginning of the turn. Yeah, you're up. So you have your addition to it. Oh That's true. Yeah, so I get the plus four con save. Yep. All right. Yeah, I can break it That's gonna be a 21 plus 425. Yeah, you break out of it. Yeah. Tides have turned Alonus no longer has to stop these gods from going.
Starting point is 01:09:34 So I get my turn now. Get your turn. I'm back or I. I stride. It's my line. It's my famous line. You gotta learn to share. Is that back or I'll like? I am back or I. Yeah, I's my famous line. You gotta learn to share. Is that backerot?
Starting point is 01:09:46 I am backerot. Yeah, it's like a game that old ladies play. 17 is gonna miss probably. That does it. Oh it does. Heck yeah. All right. No, he's gonna cast shield.
Starting point is 01:09:58 I don't know. 22. Okay, so he is a 22 AC now for the shield. All right, I'll roll again. Does just a straight 20 hit? Does not. Oh, all right, well, I'll cast Valve in midi as a bonus action so I can hit next time.
Starting point is 01:10:13 Red, I'm great. End of your turn is going to shoot a ray of frost. She's so lame. You like that? You like that frost? I do actually. It was definitely like the poison. It's gonna be great for my complexion.
Starting point is 01:10:30 You always like poison, that's all. That's a big gig on my face. Can I look at my amulet instead of guessing Valven midi? Yeah, that's 13 damage you move, Chen. 13 damage, I'll take it. Sweet, that is a lannus's turn. Oh, Lord, she's gonna, she's gonna fucking cast disintegrate on him.
Starting point is 01:10:53 Ooh, you will do it. You will do it. Can you take it? Honestly, I crossed this only told us what disintegrate does. I've never even seen it in action. That is true. She's gonna cast it at an eighth level.
Starting point is 01:11:05 So you see she holds her hands up, eyes glow purple. You see pebbles from the stone below you. There's like an earthquake and just this crazy sonic boom of energy blasts in Akarats. That's what she did to us, right? Yeah, she's basically doing the astral keep thing again. He's gonna go ahead and make a deck saving throw. He does pass, so he's just gonna take,
Starting point is 01:11:33 oh, he just passes. She gets out of the way, she does no damage. But he had to use a legendary resistance, right? I know, he rolled a nat 20 on his save. Well, that was just a full on win for Akra. That's just a win for BK. Yeah. Shoot some on-chain with a right hand.
Starting point is 01:11:51 I'm so pissed. Oh, that's gross. Ha, ha, ha. Does 25 damage to you, Minchan? That is... Alonist move to a certain... Take a mint or something. To an edible, come on.
Starting point is 01:12:02 Sorry, that was fucking embarrassing. I'm gonna not do disintegrate. He has legendary resistances, and he also just can roll good sometimes. Sometimes you gotta be flashy, understand. What's up? What's he lookin' like? Um, he's lookin' decent. Lookin' decent?
Starting point is 01:12:18 Even if you kill me, it'll make no difference. My goal was always to send gods to the material plane. I've already succeeded. Well, I mean, really, only a little. You sent like, I've two. Well, I wanted to send 12. I tried to send six. I wouldn't call that a success.
Starting point is 01:12:34 Day of, as a day of planner, if you can get half your goals done, I think you've done a pretty good job. If you do get half-goal. No, but I, no, on the day, the day of plan was you got six and I sent three. So three people out of 12 got dinner at your restaurant. No, no, no, no, okay, 12 made reservations.
Starting point is 01:12:53 Only six came and then I served three dinner, pretty good restaurant. I would say that's a one and a half star on Yelp. You know, like that's possible. Akarot and that's my review. Okay, I'm casting Guardian of Nature so that my weapon attacks get advantage. I have element accuracy.
Starting point is 01:13:11 So, and I'm gonna do great weapon fighter and do minus five to my attack. Okay, to add plus 10 to your damage. Yeah, hoping that between three dice, I'll be able to get enough to hit. Sweet, good up. Does it 23 hit? It does.
Starting point is 01:13:29 Yeah baby, okay. All right. Swing into him with Rosaline. Oh is that from your friend? You're calling me Miss Rosal before, but you're the real Rosal Jr. What do you, you don't even know what are you talking about? What do you, oh my god.
Starting point is 01:13:44 It's like an inside joke theater on the outside? No, I totally get it. Everything. I know who glad is I know glad I do 37 damage nice pop-pog comes after him Pop-pog is gonna hit Damn pop-pog is having a good night for Pop-pog is gonna hit for eight and then I spores him for 18. Wow, he's looking real messed up now. Yeah. That's right.
Starting point is 01:14:10 Good on you. Take that. And I, via rapport sports, I'm like, y'all, I'm about to fall. Goin' down after this. You look tough as hell. You'll never survive. Um, shoots a cantrip at you.
Starting point is 01:14:20 Uh, and, uh, Alonus easily counters it. Just burns. Alonus, counters it. Just burns. Alonus, you don't need to counter Cantrips. Except for when you're... It's so fun. It's honestly so fucking easy. Yeah, you're right, I'm just so easy. It's honestly so easy.
Starting point is 01:14:32 You have to roll forward. Okay, fair, fair. That is Akarot's lair action. Akarot is going to summon the dead. I love the dead. That's the only way he can get be able to hang out with you. Mochang, go ahead and meet a Constitution saving throw. He was wrong me 20s tonight.
Starting point is 01:14:50 You know what's the answer? You got a fucking chance. It's like a thing to have. Oh, okay, then I'm gonna be down. I did get a 22. So 45 divided in half, 22 damage. you fucking idiot. I only had three damage way to waste Oh my gosh Wow you will rain my three Sorry, sorry, I killed you to hard. I'm so impressed
Starting point is 01:15:16 I'm sure I killed you to hard I don't want any waste of a spell. Yeah, seriously if it's one again six out I think that you don't Learn recycle Yeah, seriously, if it's one against six, I think that you'd have to learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, learn the heck, damage this. He is on death's door. Kill me hard one. Take the mantle of hell. Leave behind all of your friends. It's everyone you've ever loved and live here in my big weird house. It's 30 to hit, but I would want to. Take it. Take it from me. Don't let him get in your head. It's 19 damage, but I don't know. Hard one, finish him. See this mel melty faced acorot looks at you. I've already won.
Starting point is 01:16:10 I holster my hammer and I look at Bev. This is your devil. I walk over to him and as I do that I touch hands moon shine to bring her back up It does her good bear just for fun Fall back popover just to take you it takes five minutes Poppite is funky counted to you Me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me I throw away the other good berry I was holding. Found our jokes on it. No one can give me berries anymore.
Starting point is 01:16:50 They're too big. I told you, you got to mush them up for it. Clearly shouldn't have fruit. When the minor illusion, I put a silver badge sash around each of our shoulders, and they all have little badges with our faces on them. And I stride forward with my friends and tow, Bailnor as well. And I say, Mother of Dusk, Father of Light, Brother of Hammer, Sister of Light, Keeper of Bags and One Grey Knight together we banish you forever from our sight.
Starting point is 01:17:28 And then we beat the shit out of him. You guys just hop on as a carat just like or have already won. Oh, oh stop. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
Starting point is 01:17:42 wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait 5-1. Oh yeah. Because I sent three gods to the material. Oh, if you think that's winning, I keep on stopping. Yeah. Yeah, you guys beat the shit out of Akarats. We have so many friends, and they're not even dead. This form dies. You guys see, ill-seds, crumpled body, lies on the ground,
Starting point is 01:17:56 and so too, does the Hellfire crown. And you see, you guys are out of combat now. All the mages are gone. You see, there are three god husks left. You guys successfully stopped half of them, and you stopped the big one. The big one was the five headed dragon. A lot of slicks around, and she goes, This is just the beginning. The fight with Akra is in over. He needed the power of Osmodis' crown to resurrect the gods, but now that the ritual is done, he won't need it anymore.
Starting point is 01:18:30 The only way to stop him now will be to face the undead gods. But before that, we need to do something about the Hellfire crown. This terrible cursed item will grant the wearer control of the nine hells. If one of us doesn't take it, there will be wars fought over it, there will be chaos, and surely whoever wins it that way will be far worse than any of us, even if we were to be corrupted by it. You know what this goes? You know what this goes?
Starting point is 01:19:03 You put my finger on my nose. Can't we just destroy it? If it was forged, it can be unmade. This is something that was made by the gods. I don't personally know how to destroy it, and besides even touching it, you'd need to resist a curse. This isn't something you can just put in your bag and deal with later. But even if we have it, we can't leave, right?
Starting point is 01:19:26 It's bound to this place, isn't it? Right. I would, I would wear the crown. This is off-guard and the all-in-eye caused more damage trying to save this world.
Starting point is 01:19:45 The material plane needs you. You are of more use up there than you are down here. I... I don't know if this is the right thing to do. But... I don't know if this is the right thing to do. But I'm gonna... I'm gonna grab the crown. Moonshine, go ahead and give me a wisdom saving throw. I do it with a vantage.
Starting point is 01:20:19 Oh, ha. Cause you wait some yummy food. Cause I made myself a fucking tasty meal. That's gonna be a 23. Okay, Munchan as soon as you touch it, you instantly think, oh of course, this should be, I should be the queen of hell. I could clean up this place, I could fix it. Imagine what I could do with the power of hell. I could clean up this place, I could fix it. Imagine what I could do with the power of hell.
Starting point is 01:20:45 I could punish the wicked. I could bring the chosen here when they died. I could bring my enemies here, but you resist putting it on and you just hold it in your hands. Careful with that. What are you thinking? I was thinking of letting someone out and casting a spell to compel them to banish
Starting point is 01:21:10 the souls. You spin me right now. I want to take 59 seconds casting Gaias. Okay. And then with one second left, I want to unleash Pender Greens from my belly chain. It is I, Pender Cost, the portrayal. And I wanna cast Gaias on him to release to... Holy shit, that's what you look like.
Starting point is 01:21:42 Yeah, you see, he is this imposing figure. He is like eight feet tall. Just super barrel chested has this big gut. Kind of like that Robert Baratheon body type where he's got the giant breast plate that comes all the way out and has like a little belly on it almost. There's so much mustard on it.
Starting point is 01:22:01 Like blackened iron armor and then this sort of t-shaped like kind of boba fett helm with big horns up on the sides all up in black and you see you just yellow eyes Holy shit Panagreens I got you a hat panor greens, I got you a hat. And also your freedom, except for the next 30 days, you are going to be suggestible to me. And I'm going to give you the command that banished the souls from hell, closed hell from the second level down and turned the rest of it and turn everything that you control into a demolition derby.
Starting point is 01:22:45 You see, Bendergreens looks at you. Do I even need a cast? So earnestly, we're going with all the spellings. What kind of save does he do though? This is just sort of a fail save. It's a wisdom save. Wisdom save. He's not fucking wise.
Starting point is 01:23:10 But then if I cast Gaea on him, will that override the corrupting? Because he would take damage anytime he didn't do. It will inspire his decisions certainly. That's cool. Yeah, Pendoreans fails his wisdom saving threat. It sounds like a rad idea. Any place to crown on his head?
Starting point is 01:23:30 I look the hard one, Beverly. I nod deeply. It's okay with me, if it's okay with you. But let's check with Alonus real quick as well, maybe. Yeah. I like guys with Alonus. Sky like smart and a good leader or. No, he's like, he's like just really into playing video games and ordering takeout. I think we'd basically
Starting point is 01:23:54 just be giving him like a nine layer apart. Honestly, I think we just need an outsider down here. If we give it to you, Pinter Greens, you have to promise to chill down here forever and play video games every day. I never bother anyone on any other planes because you're too busy gaming and chilling to ever interfere. Oh, never bother, Pinter Greens. Never bother, Pinter Greens. Never bother, Pinter Greens.
Starting point is 01:24:20 Never bother, Pinter Greens. Never bother, Pinter Greens. Never bother, Pinter Greens. Never bother, Pinter Greens. Never bother, Pinter Greens. Never bother, Pinter Greens. Never bother, Pinter Greens.. Kindergreens, if I did this, I think I will miss you a lot. And I'd probably wanna take Rosalene and make a little scratch or so that we could talk.
Starting point is 01:24:34 Go ahead and give me a persuasion check with a badge. You see, Kindergreens goes, on Kindergreens with a betrayer, I don't have any friends. What are your, what are your, your three friends that I can count? I only got 12. You get 12. You see he goes, I don't know if you need a scratch word.
Starting point is 01:24:55 I think if I had that crown I could do something pretty sick for you. I feel like I just put on my own head. No, you hear Boundar goes, I could take it. That is not happening Boundar. It's mere Prendergreens, everyone knows it's down to the two of us. Munchine, the material plane needs you. Yeah, but it also needs you. Yeah, and it doesn't need Pendergreens. Right, Mependergreens. It's an all-ag, and it doesn't need tender greens right but bend a green
Starting point is 01:25:26 It's an all agree doesn't need me Lecine's with a corrupting force Pinder greens can run the demolition Derby on the first level. I feel like that's a good Responsibility that's an intro level responsibility for him Maybe he can work his way down from there. I don't know. You see, I want to trust him, but just, he's got a trailer in his name. I know. See, Alonus.
Starting point is 01:25:52 You see Alonus pipes up and she goes, provided that Gaioss works, which I think it will, because it would just keep doing damage to him if he worked against you. You could hold off on making a final decision on for 30 days. If Pendergreens decides to do something awful after 30 days, we can come down here and kill him.
Starting point is 01:26:20 Oh, well, I don't think you can do that. We'll just have to crown him pretty sick. Well, we just kind of did that to the previous owner. So yeah, but that didn't do crop my God. It's a very good thing. So convinced we can kill Patrick. We need to do what? I'm really trying to do it. You're fighting me. Absolutely a bandaid.
Starting point is 01:26:40 Just from having this interaction with Pender Greens, I'm aware that this is not a plan. No, it's not a bandaid for the next 30 days and that's all we need. All right, we're doing this for 30 days then. 30 days and then 30 more and then 30 more years and then 30,000 years. 30 days and we'll talk.
Starting point is 01:26:58 Yeah, but remember, I'm on day one. I'm all about re-open contracts. You guys know me. I know, that's what I'm saying. You're being like, I'm getting it. You're getting it in the contract. I about re-open contracts. You guys know me. I know that's what I'm saying. You're being like, I'm getting into another contract. I'm re-open the contract. Day one, you banish everybody. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:27:12 I'm too much to help from. I have too much to help from. I have too much to help from. I have too much to help from. I have too much to help from. I have too much to help from. I have too much to help from. I have too much to help from.
Starting point is 01:27:20 I have too much to help from. I have too much to help from. I have too much to help from. I have too much to help from. I have too much to help from. I have too much to help from. I have too much to help from. I have too much to, you're gonna have so much time with the demolition Derby I can't believe I'm caucusing for pedigree This is absolutely what we have to do a lot is when the all it took that divine heart She thought she was doing the right thing, right? Yeah, she still does I
Starting point is 01:27:42 Think the difference is that we know we make mistakes and we always come back to clean them up. It doesn't have to be the end. We don't have to say that anything we do is final as long as we stand, as long as we breathe, everything can be fluid, everything can be fluid, everything can change, then we can shape it the way that we want it to. No matter what, my story ends up down here. Don't say that.
Starting point is 01:28:14 What are you talking about? Because who's going to take it after 30 days from now? Look, I'll find leaving this ground on this dude's head forever. I know, I know you are, and I appreciate that. That is beautiful. We're trying, this was our mistake working with Ilsehd. Akraot is more dangerous than Osmodeus ever was. We made the world worse.
Starting point is 01:28:38 This is my responsibility. Yeah, but I'm about to make a move just like you and what if I make the world worse from doing it? You have 30 days. If 30 days just stop the all All right Put it on Papa Hinder Green's head. Um, you see...
Starting point is 01:29:07 After casting gas, of course. He placed it on Pender Green's head. You see, at first, he reacts like, Oh yes, I am Pender Gosh. Rule of the Nine Hails. For the next 30 days, you're so scary. 30 days. You see, the iron of his helm is like melting away,
Starting point is 01:29:34 and his helm starts to twist. And he reaches his hand out to you, Moonshine, and he goes, where is she your sword Moon Shine? Everyone relax, right? We're on phone here. I draw my sword. You know what?
Starting point is 01:29:52 Sure, this will be a forecast of how the next 30 days are going to go. I hand over Rosalene. All right, well you said you were going to miss me, right? Yeah. So I was going to make your sword freaking rad. I'm going to make your sword freaking rad. I'm gonna curse your sword That sounds so wrong, but so right you see he holds his hand over the sword and runs it along the blade and it allites with flame And then he hands it back to you that sword now harsh the power of letting me communicate
Starting point is 01:30:26 with you whenever I want. It'll be just like you have me in the gym, except also your sword is on fire. I give him a kiss. I eat, he gives you a hug. Oh, your lips are so chapped now. I know. All right, now I'm feeling a huge headache
Starting point is 01:30:46 because I need to do a demolition derby. I already want us to do that. I just had to. I had a headache because I haven't had my mountain due today and I'm addicted to sugar. But I do have to banish everyone from the ninth level down to the level. Yeah, but actually I'm going to reword gay
Starting point is 01:31:03 as to be a start and tomorrow. So that I'm gonna reword gay as to be starting tomorrow. So that I can rest up and get a seventh level spell back so I can plane shift us home. Oh, or I could just banish you homeless who want. Yeah, that sounds nice. Right. Well, what did you just say? All right.
Starting point is 01:31:20 Well, it's been something. Yeah, well, you're still being around side the sword and one knock. Yeah, I was gonna pretty much just rival that time. I admit to you, but it seems like you'll be a lot more than ever. It's gonna be around.
Starting point is 01:31:33 Wow, the story pretty lowly, honestly, because I want to come to a demolition derby and hell. I think that hell is ruined. There's gonna be so many people. Hell is gonna be sealed off. Yeah, I think maybe we should have this. Yeah, you can just like give us a play There's gonna be so Hell's gonna be sealed off Yeah, you can just like give us a play by play on the sword. I looked at the sword. I see if there's a volume knob
Starting point is 01:31:53 I turn it up. All right. Let me go ahead and down baddish everyone from hell It was fun gang, you know I am pen degrees the rule of hell now. They say people fill up. I am filled up words. I am the great Pendigreens. Seically filled all the way down. Of the Nine Hells and I. Banished the Boogers. Bye! Better than you guys. Disappear, banished to the material plane, where three rogue gods controlled by Acherat prepared a lay waste to the mortal world.
Starting point is 01:32:31 And that's where we'll end our session. We're home! We're fucking out of hell, baby! I do not know what we're good about that. I'm gonna give you a nice long day. You guys are out of hell. The ender greens is the leader of hell and three gods are running a muck. For the next 30 days is are out of hell. We intervened as the leader of hell and three gods are running a mock.
Starting point is 01:32:45 For the next 30 days, is the leader of hell. We gotta set an alarm on pop-off for 30 days, right? Okay, yeah, I wind up pop-off for 30 days. Me too. No, that's good. We have like a time limit now, before we were gonna have to make a very big, very involved decision very quickly.
Starting point is 01:33:01 And now we can talk about it separately on our group chat without Murf. Yeah, let's all go to dinner. Sweet. Guys, you can listen to us talk about the show over on Patreon. That's patreon.com slash nad pod. That's NADD POD don't sing. Yeah. That's our short rest. We have some things to plug. Guys, you can watch me and Emily playing D' D&D on Twitch on D20. That's a dropouts Twitch channel, playing with Brennan Lee Mulligan,
Starting point is 01:33:29 a bunch of other fun people for fantasy high season two. Give them some bits. Yeah, call the way he got. Oh, Big City Greens, I believe is airing now. So check out new episodes of Big City Greens, season two is airing right now. Disney, Disney Plus, Amazon, iTunes, wherever you slurp down your content,
Starting point is 01:33:50 you content consumer, or me, you. Right on, Jake, what do you got? I'll go, you know what, beard oil. The video episodes in a row, why the fuck not? Brothers, sister, code, dot com. If you're doing that no shave, no, Vemper thing. Toil for the oil. You got a to no shave November thing. Toil for the oil.
Starting point is 01:34:05 You got a toil for the oil. Toil for the oil. All right, and you can follow us on Twitter at CHMRIF's me, I'd call these called well. At EXFORD is Emily and at J. Kerwood's is Jake and you can tweet about the show using hashtag NADPA, that's NADPOD. We all we are, we all we are.
Starting point is 01:34:22 We all we are, we all we are. We all we are, we all we are. And now it is time to thank our benevolent Council of Elders. Thank you to Brad D. Dillon B. Danny P. Steelbreaker, Spencer Casbrew. Five God Husks that were so powerful and strong, Acroct decided to not send them to the mortal plane, but instead recruit them for his Celestial Adult Dodge-Bot League. Very cool. Beardman Dan, Airman's W, Adam R, Danielle the Dastardly Dame, a group of Frostwinn Nolls in charge of Yannobas Oral Hygiene, each week they draw straws to see will have the honor of flossing the worm.
Starting point is 01:35:02 Haldor Frostback, Multiford, Jordan DJ, Jeopardy S, and Cutter W. Acrove Losols participating in Hell's First Ever, Inner Circle Demonic Demolition Derby. Hell yeah, the winner gets to play Rocket League with Pende Greens, but he's only got one lazy boy chair and they have to sit on the floor. Still pretty awesome, no. Shubbert the Mushroom, Elena C, Michael, Mick D,
Starting point is 01:35:24 the mixologist, and Andrew M., plus Balnor's boy. They are all a squad of Akra's Hell mages who decided to take the day off and go to a fernel Disneyland. Good thinking gang, you all dodged a bullet and also several bolts of moonshine's lightning. Just in I, Jacob C., Elena M., Mick Pux, Earl and Kathleen L. Pendergreens' new small council in hell, they are in charge of important matters like Hell's Economy, Military Strategy, and of course making sure that Lord Pendergreens' ratio of dipping sauce to nuggets is always correct, and you better believe that means it's
Starting point is 01:35:57 a fuck ton of sauce. Damn you'll R-Destancy, Devon B. Jive, G, and Jostrich, five soldiers at the Battle of Iron Deep, who are quite frankly Battle of Iron Deep War, quite frankly, sick of hearing early and go on about how much he loves and cherishes Beverly, how sweet, but annoying. We get it, man. You forgive him and you're ready to get back together. Oh my God, huge!
Starting point is 01:36:17 Sardizio Salazar Salamon Sakurai Aztec Esquani, Michael L. Sam H. and Trayle the Grapefay, a party of Feywild green nights who have embarked on a quest to find the Ritz pits, a deep chasm from which all Ritz bits are birth, may Pellora's light guide them on this deliciously perilous journey. Alucard, Joris, Adam H. Ryan, and Aaron G. Dan saw his dance crew in the afterlife. You know how the after party is the place to be. Well there's another hell after hell and it's even cooler. Big Buck, Richard X Machina, Sam L and Troy McSee, a group of politically ambitious possums down at the creek seeking to unseat mom-off from her decades-long reign, the cutest
Starting point is 01:37:01 coup ever adorable but you better stand down. Dom R. Josh S. Blitz, Brig Demetri and Caleb Storm, the forehead dragon that's been living in Tiamat's shadow for long enough. Watch out Tiamat Quadrina, the menace is coming for two of your heads. Oh shit, Nicholas C. Mike H. Matthew E. Samuel B. and Tilford G. The founders of Cobald, a line of hair removal products designed for a design specifically for Cobald so they can show off their gains without any unsightly fuzz, y'hate to see fuzz, gauge M, erincy, ellen d, behumia spherasus, tjm the gnome barbarian and
Starting point is 01:37:39 trast the traveler, a group of tabaxi that started a cat cap day, they have a great open mic night but they really don't like it when you pet them. Okay, yeah, so just hands off the cats, just let them be. Anime, intellect, Zolo Dolo, Larissa J, and Dylan CM, the wannabe DM, plus Calvin Noodles, a group of awesome dinosaur gods that just got a ping on their radar system that the evil dinosaur god they teamed up to destroy has been resurrected. Well, shit. Will they show up and help the band of boobs fight it? Only if mercen- no murp knows what's good for him. You hear that daddy? Colton B, B money, J, heartless master,
Starting point is 01:38:14 and C.C. Lulu, a team of clerics that travel the Feywild teaching the art of self-care, which is what- which is where you cast things like Bless and Cure Wounds and shield the faith, but just on yourself. You know why? Because you deserve it, Bob. Aiden R, Luke H. Zachsi and Jake L. The Cracked Tooth Clans of Greatest Enemy, The Pristine Smile Club, a crew of Savage Barbarians with beautiful pearly whites. They're aligned with the swamp bollywags of Moonstone proving that frogs and humans can be friends and can have awesome teeth provided
Starting point is 01:38:45 they have great dental insurance. I'm hopeless. Timmy R. Alex M. Aaron S. and Eric G. A gang of street tuffs from Outer Ezre, Ezre who snapped their fingers and danced threateningly at their enemies. They frequently get their asses kicked, which I can imagine. Yeah, that does make a lot of sense to me. Lucas B. Rubin A, Jordan L, Laura S, and Jay Parker, a crew of lazy mages who forgot to study the incantations and completely
Starting point is 01:39:12 bungled the resurrection ritual to send one of Akra's gods to the material plane. Thank God, they may have not done on purpose, but Bahumia owes them a great debt. Thank you indeed. Austin C. Austin MR. Just a piss off. Triss aka Touchit. Kaley E. And Barnes in Nature. A team of Ed's Rescientists who are now working in a lab under the Chosen's oppressive thumb. Other books and research papers have been replaced by motivational posters that say through Theala, all things are possible. Fuck. One of them has a dolphin on it though, so at least they have that going for him. Devon W. Chenua B. Jared E. and Persephone Nee, a folk band made entirely of insane dwarggers.
Starting point is 01:39:55 They have two singles that have charted on CragWaters Top 100, including hits like Brayon, Mama, Arat, for dinner, and Drunk Again in Goat Man Alley, impressive considering dwarggers usually only listen to Heavy Metal. I'm honestly, I would say I'm intrigued by this album. I'm down to check it out. Reese and S. Bell in the Bar.
Starting point is 01:40:14 Jackie, Eric and Andrea B. PJ, Wall, aka, Charo Arcadia's, Urdan's mean teen, posse at Glatoan University several hundred years ago, they gave ill-set countless maid chand-wez-G's-Oh, Roode, and once gave him a swirly inside a sphere of annihilation, temporarily banishing his entire head to a nightmarish demiplane, God! They also went to prom as a crew instead of taking dates. You guys sound...you sound awesome. Steven C. Max will C. Mike K. Umri M. And Calum L. The rest of Paw Paws litter.
Starting point is 01:40:49 Oh my God! While Paw Paws scrambled off the live outside, the Cric is more responsible siblings opened a realty business to help Cric L find affordable stumps. It's called Scramble Rearlty. Very nice. And they have Cric front property available. Now check them out their website,
Starting point is 01:41:05 is rear-rear.rear-rear.rear-rear. Scott D. Nothor the Prodigy Ranger, Shane B. The Pinch and Dan, a known family who lives in a giant husk. There is a little warm fire in the hearth, and a bunch of cozy blankets on a rib-shaped couch. Oh my god, this is a Higa husk. Husk, a Higa husk. Higa, Higa. Richard C. Caron T. Curtis S. Michael C. and BJ L.
Starting point is 01:41:28 Crick Elves, who are the new proprietors of a spa in Glade Home. Oh my god, it's so cool. Essentially, they spike the hot tub at the water park with Crick water so you can get drunk as you unwind. Very nice. They're making bank, by the way, in Brownleaves. Nikki W. Andrew B.
Starting point is 01:41:43 Christopher B. P. C. and Andrew B. Christopher B. Pete C. and Barrison can up the wizard's tower. A group of chosen soldiers who are going to be tried for their war crimes, that is right. And they thought they could get off, but guess who the prosecutor is? Rare. That's right, Motherfuckers.
Starting point is 01:41:58 Nicholas P. Robert F. Kevin M. Angel B. and Rahul N. A group of Pebblepot descendants who have been living in a bunker for the last six years because they were hiding from a creaky door. It honestly would have been safe to come out for a while now, but now with the husks on the loose, I would stay put, I suppose.
Starting point is 01:42:17 I am the Atlas, Ryan of the clan Cougan, Meribel the Kitty Morphing gnome, Esmi M. and Robert, a bunch of lonely souls who were once moonshine siphons fiancee's, but don't worry guys, there's still hope, you never know how she's gonna feel when she gets back from hell. Yens Christian T. Joe McGee meta amps, Mr. Hydrois and Jonathan from Crick Field, hard ones old team of beard raiders, that was really cool of you guys.
Starting point is 01:42:41 Now that I have a nice cropped beard, though, they're a little less necessary, but you know what, you've always been there mostly for emotional support anyway. Atika See, Jonathan, the Arcadian gamesmith, Tom S, and Grace G, a happening improv group who performs so often for an entirely empty auditorium that even when all of the Glateron was evacuated, they didn't even notice for a while.
Starting point is 01:43:05 Thank you guys, you honor us.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.