Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 87: Split the Party (The Hellfire Chronicles)

Episode Date: January 18, 2020

Siobhan Thompson and Zac Oyama join the Band of Boobs as they battle the Juiblex and prepare to face Akarot's final form. Hardwon gets a new nickname, Moonshine impresses her daddy, and Bever...ly attempts to make up with Erlin. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music/Sound Effects Include:"Gypsy Violin Variation" by Howard Geisel at Freesound.org."Medieval Marching and Chanting" by Yap Audio Production at Freesound.org."Conspiracy in the Clouds" by Emily Axford."Mee Maw's Burden" by Emily Axford."Court of the Boy King" by Emily Axford."The Purge" by Emily Axford."The Multiverse" by Emily Axford."Kingshammer" by Emily Axford."The Blows of a Friend, Not a Foe" by Emily Axford."Apotheosis" by Emily Axford."A Fate Refused" by Emily Axford."Unknown Tome" by Emily Axford."Blessing of the Elementals" by Emily Axford."A Hospitable Farewell" by Emily Axford."Escape the Boy King's Brunch" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:01:39 Welcome back to Bahumia, everyone. Bahumia. Bahumia. I'm your Dungeon Master Brian Murphy joined by Jake Herwitz. Hard one, sure, foot. Emily Axford. Moon Shanzab and back at the gas and feel like trash. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:54 And called Waltanon. Beverly Toe Gold the Fifth, three night with Irland, and it feels so weird. Yeah. All your fault, really. Yeah, well. And of course, we've got returning guests. Shivon Thompson.
Starting point is 00:02:08 Apple Scrumper. I hit some things, and now it's dead. Right on. And of course, Zachoyam. Oh, Maverick's the unschooled. I'm covered in slime and having a real bright time. Great ride. Got one. Beautiful.
Starting point is 00:02:27 Count it. Alright guys, let's do a little recap. So last week, you guys battled the Tarask, during which Moon Shine was able to access a worldwide fungal network of elves using the thinking cap. She spoke to Cobb and found out that the Jubilix was attacking Iron Deep, then found out from Erdan that Akarot had triggered a trap to transport the entire city of Gladehome to the middle of
Starting point is 00:02:49 Asmodia. Adorven Mage, sent by Cobb, collected Maveris and Bev, who joined the fighters in Iron Deep, sadly Gunther was consumed by the Jubilix there, and even Satter, Irland was still pissed at Bev. Back in Frostwind, Munchine was able to open a gate to the Feywild using the thinking cap and a Lajren began pouring in. Hard one then protected the king of Frostwind by offering him the hammer, winning him the favor of the dwarves.
Starting point is 00:03:16 Frustrated with trying to break the gash, Munchine eventually set up a teleportation tree to send Lajren to Osmodia to help. The tide of the battle was turning, but just as terrasque was about to be killed it managed to knock out hard one cooter and bouncer But just as bouncer was about to be swallowed hard one was able to jump up and save him separating the beasts jaw Yeah, it's ungodly strength. Oh, yeah, and that's where we are now the terrasque is dead The eladron army is bouncing on the approaching Frostwork army. You remember they were marching towards you, looking to come in after the hollow body giants
Starting point is 00:03:52 did most of the dirty work, but the Eladron are swarming them. It looks like the Orkish army isn't even going to make it. Can we get these orcs are more intelligent, right? Yeah, certainly. Let's grab one. Sweet. Moosa. Right, it's been a while since we've taken someone hostage,
Starting point is 00:04:08 got some answers. You guys start running off towards the orcs, but we are actually going to cut over to Iron Deep, because things are a little bit more dire over there at the moment. So we come back to Iron Deep. You guys are in this castle. Everyone has been covered in this goo that is restraining you. You guys have already seen this thing. Consume Gunther, who is knocked out. Red was acting very emotionally and was trying to reach in and
Starting point is 00:04:41 grab Gunther and burning himself. Erlin had to pull him back and heal him. Everybody's doing okay, health wise, in iron deep, but so is the Jubelix. At the top of the round, that is Cobb and a Gweins turn. You see a Gwein goes pull. Cobb throws the potion. A Gwein takes a shot and hits. That is a big 37 damage. You see this potion starts to like slope right in front
Starting point is 00:05:10 of the Jubelix, the arrow hits it. There's this explosion of lightning energy that lights up the whole ooze. The trick is to accept that she's cooler than you, Cobb. Yeah, Bev, you see as a Gwain is standing up and shooting her arrows, that she has all of these pouches with potions and things like that. It looks like she really took to Alchemy.
Starting point is 00:05:38 Moonshine at one point gave her some poison to put on her arrows and she has thrived. I was the grumper to her. You were the scrubber. Oh, we're all touching each other's lives. That is the Jubilix's layer action. You see, it begins to bubble again and sizzle and lets out this strange green mist that fills the room.
Starting point is 00:06:01 Everyone is under the effect of the contagion spell. Even if we're immune to poison, it is a disease, so it is not poison. So Bev, it does not affect you, but you see everyone else around you. Let me actually see, Irland, Irland is an NPC, so his immunity is in stuff are different. He does not have immunity to disease.
Starting point is 00:06:23 You see, he starts like wretching and coughing and red starts coughing, cob and a gwayne look super affected. You also have the disease right now, Mavris. Okay, coughing, you're wretching. Oh, this is good. I fucking, I'm a rural today sucks.
Starting point is 00:06:42 At the end of everybody's turn, you make constitution saving throws if you fail three times you get flesh rot and that means you are susceptible to all damage you take double damage every hit is a crit that was not a spell though right no it was like a layer action okay that is your turn maveris you're surrounded by green mist everything Everything smells like shit. There's a teen boy who thinks you're dating his friend. A bear just died in a really sad way, and you're sick.
Starting point is 00:07:14 All right, we need to clear the air in a lot of ways. I really should ask more questions before coming through. I'm going to aim another sun beam at it, which is concentration for a spell I've already had. And then as a bonus action, I'm going to use fireball with quickenspo at a fifth level. So yeah, beam with one hand,
Starting point is 00:07:38 and then you just chuck a ball of fire at this thing. Just screaming. I'm picturing a Michael Jordan silhouette of you right now, Mattris, just with wings and sunshine and flames coming from your hands. Kis. Erlin slowly shuts up. Hey, Erlin, make a poster of this.
Starting point is 00:08:00 I still have sunglasses on. Okay, so Sunbeam is 6D8. Yikes, that's a fail. It's gonna burn another legendary resistance. 28, halved to 14, okay. So that's just the Sunbeam. A fifth level fireball is going to be 86 plus 2D6. Jesus.
Starting point is 00:08:30 17 to pass? That's my, that's my fault. Okay, so passes. So it'll take half of this? Can I use another three points to make it have disadvantage? Yes. Wow. Hell yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:44 It fails, 15. Okay, that one. Shit. Falk, I guess it'll burn another, it's last legendary resistance. It's out. All right, so it'll take half of this. Okay, fine.
Starting point is 00:08:56 45. 45. And then you have it, okay, 22. Yeah, okay. This thing does not look as hearty. We're hail. We're hail. As the trash does look like soup though. Delicious. It is, oh, at the end of your turn, go ahead and make a constitution saving throw.
Starting point is 00:09:17 Okay. As you wretch. That was a not one. Guys. okay, within that one, you fail, and you begin to feel the flesh rot taking over your body. You start getting real itchy in a bad way. It's like when... It's supposed to be itchy and a good way. Yeah, no, I like to be itchy sometimes. Hey, Bev, you can't cure disease, can you? I actually can.
Starting point is 00:09:43 Don't worry about it. I have a cleansing touch I can do on you. I gotta go to the doctor, you know what I mean? I'm gonna be like, oh, that is the Jubilix's turn. You're looking flaky. On this turn, it's gonna do some acid lash attacks. You see, it swings with a big gooey appendage at Bev.
Starting point is 00:10:05 Bring it. 21 to hit. That is my armor class, so that hits. swings with a big gooey appendage at Bev. Bring it. 21 to hit. That is my armor class of that hits. That hits. Okay, so first attack hits, second attack is in that one. Huh? Third attack is a 22, so that's gonna hit Bev. That is 49 damage total.
Starting point is 00:10:19 Oh, I'm looking so hurt. You look. Yeah, you have like two hit points right here. Once again, really so hurt. That good bury is a prop in you. Thank you, Cuder. Can you look like two hit points right here. Once again, that good theory is, and propping you up. Thank you, Cuder. Can you look at your own, A.
Starting point is 00:10:29 I already did today. Yeah, he did today. That is your turn, Bev. All right, I'm gonna go ahead and cure wounds myself because I just need to bolster myself a little bit. Okay. So I'll do that at a, ooh, a third level. Sweet. Just try and get myself really high up so that Irland can focus on other people maybe
Starting point is 00:10:49 And then I will as a bonus action cast shield of faith on Irland. Oh Sweet, yeah, you see shimmering. What is what does it look like used them? They can look like your face. Oh Oh gosh, you know, it looks like a It looks like two green teen leaves next to each other He looks at the shimmering shield around him then shoots you a look and gives you a nod. Let's get through this I heal myself for a whopping 13 points yikes Oh, it's not great look out and so that puts me at 15 points of HP cool cool cool shit Spurtle this thing is going to whip down at the end of your turn and try to knock you out
Starting point is 00:11:35 That is a 30 to hit that is 20 damage that time I'm down Brutal Bev goes down Irland reaches out as he's collapsing. Dude, no! That is Red's turn. Red is going to hold his reaction. You see at the end of Red's turn, of Red's turn. The Jubelix is going to use a legendary action to go to, like, in Case Bev to pull him in, and you see Red jumps in front of him. You're not taking him too! Red jumps in front of him, and you see the ooze, like, catches him, and he's not pulled in yet, but he is like caught in the goo of the Jubilocks. That is Irland's turn Fuck it. Irland is going to use his Fifth level spell what no, is this heal? Oh, no mask your wounds. He's gonna mask your
Starting point is 00:12:38 Okay, baby. I was David leper Where I was oh My guy's so strong. Okay, Erlin heals everyone for 20 points. At the end of the round, we haven't really been dealing with this guy. You guys saw the Dwarven Mage. He said his name was Maz Othul, who took you guys there.
Starting point is 00:13:03 Suddenly you guys hear explosions from deeper within Iron Deep, and you hear him go, there are dorgor hollow bodies attacking the city. If you all can handle this, I'm gonna go help there. I'll be back with more members of my guild if I can find any. Please, as you see, he disappears. From a mav to a maz, please.
Starting point is 00:13:31 That is the end of the round. We are going to go back to Frostwind. So we were talking about you guys running towards Orcs. We got to save some people's lives here. We are still in initiative. Kooter is knocked out. Bound or is completely knocked out. You guys see the Frost dwarves are celebrating like to them They don't know that like Couter and Bound or can be saved to them
Starting point is 00:13:51 They've just seen a bunch of nights get killed and everything so to them They're just like the battles over they start like these little guys start trying to hoist hard one up I got two berries in my pocket. I need you to feed me. Don't say I have two berries in my pocket. Everyone starts laughing hysterically. Two berries in his pocket. Very funny. Fucking rules. He killed the frickin thorask and it makes jokes about his balls. That is Bary's turn. Boundary makes a death save. What?
Starting point is 00:14:28 Can't make the passage. Get me the red turn. That is Kooter's turn. Kooter's. Kooter's. With like a crooked broken back on the ground. I hate my life. Kooter, I'm gonna get you out of this mess.
Starting point is 00:14:40 Oh, that's a 10. Kooter's. Kooter's. Yeah, Kooter. Kooter's. They're really, really, I'm just succeed. Moonshine, that is your turn. Good. Yeah, good. They're good. I'm just succeed. Um, moonshine, that is your turn. All right, y'all gather around. We're doing a mask, your wounds. We're having a little mirror of what's going on there. Right on. 18. Thank you. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:14:57 Kudder pops back up. I still feel better than I've ever felt in my life from that breakfast. He does, he does a Sean Michaels kick up from the snow and his back just snaps back into place. Well, I'm glad I came, I guess. My God, that was cool. Don't worry, good, I'll teach you how to cook like that. Yeah, you see as Moon Shine, he's healing everyone up, the dwarves are all gathering around hard one king coldain
Starting point is 00:15:28 Reach his his hand up. He can't reach your shoulder. So he like grabs your arm and he goes Thank you so much more than We would have been lost without you We would have been lost without all of you turns to all of you guys. We're all a bunch of missfits here Glad we can defend the city together. The... And that's right. Starts laughing.
Starting point is 00:15:49 Did you hear my goodberry bit? I thought it was a very funny... That was hilarious. Hard one, as you're talking to King Col dain, go ahead and give me perception or insight check. Went you to whoa. Okay. This dude needs to roll a net 20 to be as sneaky as he'd like to be.
Starting point is 00:16:19 Uh-oh. Hard one, as you're laughing with King Koldain and the other dwarves, you see he had this one King's guard with him, this dude that had goggles on. You see, it's hard to see his hands because like there's so many people around and everybody's gathering around you and talking and slapping each other on the back.
Starting point is 00:16:40 I'm so sad. You see good berries in the thing is, they represent. So that's so fun. All right, I was gonna say. See, good berries in the thing is that it represents. That's so fun. All right, I was gonna say. See, this dude has pulled out this knife that is dark with necrotic energy and goes up to stab King Holden with it. You see it.
Starting point is 00:16:56 All right, sweet. Guy's socking in the face. Yeah, go ahead and make a grapple check against him. Not today. 18. 18. Hard one. You sock this dude in the face. Oh, instantly break his nose.
Starting point is 00:17:09 He staggers back. You grab his wrist and start wrestling him for the knife. You see the other frost dwarves around Coldaine. All start reacting. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. They all tackle this dude and pile on, and they're quickly able to subdue him and disarm him. They get the knife away.
Starting point is 00:17:26 This guy obviously had no sense of humor. Rip off his mask with the goggles. Hey, palo body. You rip off the goggles. He has ice. This is not one of acroats. Bitch! Can I sniff him for a sense of sour milk?
Starting point is 00:17:43 Can I sniff him for a sense of sour milk? And Papa would like to do it as well with his keen sense of smell. Open that satchel. I'm gonna say, I just can't team. You and Papa are gonna run up and try to sniff it. Okay. Go ahead and sniff this man. Out of the way, y'all, I'm a sniff this man. Do a perception check. Do a smell check. This is my perception.
Starting point is 00:18:06 18. Pop-offs. Okay, I actually did better than pop-off. Yeah, 18. 18? Smells like milk. Ugh. You got beef with theala, coldain.
Starting point is 00:18:22 I got lots of beef with theala. Well, I think she's the one that sent you this present. You see suddenly the assassin starts thrashing and yelling, what do you think will happen after all of this? King Kale Dane does not keep us safe. We need to work with the Aala. King Kale Dane and a whole bunch of your brethren just killed the goddamn Terraski, moron.
Starting point is 00:18:42 Yeah, I'm pretty sure everything kept you safe until you work with the Aala. It is not over. You'd be a pretty sure everything kept you safe until you work with me. It was not over. You'd be a lot safer right now if you didn't work with the all- I'm only gonna like and save us. You're really good at it. You don't really seem to say. You don't seem to say.
Starting point is 00:18:53 Dairy industry. Oh, so a good point. I go completely silent. King Colman goes, normally I would do the execution, but you see they kick his legs out and hold them down in front of Moonshine and Apple Scrumper Scrumper. We do the honors. I would love to thank you so much. Looks at you. Praise the Allah. Praise this bitch. No, no, no, no, wait. I want to grab his good berries and twist him. I don't want that to be his last one
Starting point is 00:19:27 My nuts my berries I take it back he had a sense of humor I stab it in the dick and they can bleed out We can bleed out. Fucking dick! The berries! The dick of berries! Whoa! Oh, maybe Scrab, please record that his last words were my little berries.
Starting point is 00:19:53 Matt versus it, no why, but he starts laughing. Just in boys and folks just coughing. Sweet. So, yeah, you guys, for this assassin, everybody is celebrating, but everybody kind of quickly goes back to business. You see the Aladren begin to arrive, and Munchain, you hear the voice, the seer, talking through the crown, go, I suppose he has still in danger. All right, we're heading right there. I got a plant that's going to take us there. It may look humble, but it's far reaching. This mass of a labyrinth starts transporting through this tree.
Starting point is 00:20:31 I think ideally, they're just dropping from the sky and into the tree and just disappearing. So it's like a huge, big, huge, big, huge. Where do you need us? It looks like the dinosaur has already taken care of. Everyone, into the tiny tree. All right, fade this way, fade this way. Haha.
Starting point is 00:20:50 Fade this way, fade this way. Don't do it. You see the Aladdin start pouring through this port key. Let's cut back to the Jubelix. Red is in danger. Bev is in danger, you are all fighting this giant, massive sizzling ooze with dozens of bloodshot eyes
Starting point is 00:21:10 that has taken over this throne room. At the start of the round, that is Cobb and Aguaine's turn. You see Cobb chucked a potion and Aguaine is going to shoot. That is a big 23 to hit. She strikes the potion and you see the Jubelix is shocked by this bolt
Starting point is 00:21:26 of lightning energy. It takes a big 34 damage. At the end of their turn, it is going to take a legendary action. It is already encased red. It is going to shoot out a gooey appendage and connect to him. So he's in a lot of danger, and then that is it's lair action next. I'm gonna need everybody to go ahead and give me a deck saving throw. I'm gonna use my reaction to add that plus three. Babe, you hold up your shield. Oh, I got a seven.
Starting point is 00:21:55 Yikes. Let's see, oh, 19. Oh, wait, plus four, so, Jesus. Yeah, 23. Oh yeah, everybody who's up in the Jubilix mix gets your plus four. Jubilix mix gets your plus four Jubilix mix Irland still fails red
Starting point is 00:22:10 Has disadvantage because he's in the gunk and he fails as well you see a bloated Dwarven corpse comes out from within the Jubilix and explodes and sprays acid all over you guys You take half of it Bev so half of 37 Is going to be just 18 I'm still up
Starting point is 00:22:38 Barely Cobb and a Gwain or under cover so they're gonna roll with advantage or undercover, so they are gonna roll with advantage. They both pass, but they take half. Oh, also, at the end of their turns, these guys are gonna see if they get any flesh rot and both of their flesh rot gets worse. Cobb and Aguayne's, Hey, is anybody else feeling itchy? I am definitely getting itchy.
Starting point is 00:23:03 Yeah, super itchy, really itchy, right? Hold on, I have some creams, I have Benatril. Does anyone need Benatril? I need a shot of Penicillin right now. If you had Benatril, you should have told us. I'm sorry, I forgot about the Benatril, there's a lot going on. Oh, Erlin did not roll, either he's gonna roll for his flesh rot. Shout out to the two crew. Oh, Erlin, that is Mavis's turn. Maveris, you feel real bad.
Starting point is 00:23:27 Bev, I don't know what to do. I think I just need to keep smacking this thing. Keep smacking the goo. Another sunbeam, another fifth level fireball. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, if he can, why not? I knew this legendary resistance.
Starting point is 00:23:43 Yeah, he's got no more. That's true. Sunbeam is 68, so that's coming out. I think it's coming out of my chest like a care bearer. Okay, last to Mav, show less of your chest though. Never. Okay. 30 past its con save, so it takes half.
Starting point is 00:24:01 615. Okay. And then I'm going to do Fireball at a fifth level Versus good. Yeah, I love so much. I'm maybe early. It's just very serious. This dude's really good. Thanks for bringing him back No problem. I understand it's awkward, but like seriously check this guy out. I really like the shield that you gave me I have to prove myself to the new people. I'm surrounded I really like the shield that you give me. I have to prove myself to the new people.
Starting point is 00:24:23 I'm surrounded. Oh, the shield went down when I died. By the way, oh, that's good. Actually really bad. 35. Jesus, okay, make that safe. That's 11, baby. He takes the whole thing.
Starting point is 00:24:36 Yeah! Oh, it's screaming. Just eyeballs all focused on Mattis so mad and sizzling. Do they get even redder? They get super red. I have eye drops, I'm not going to use them. Eye drops and badad drill, damn what did you bring? At the end of maveris's turn, this thing is going to use its last legendary action.
Starting point is 00:25:02 It is going to try to pull red in even if red fails. He just takes acid damage from the inside. He does not auto die. You only disintegrate if you're unconscious. So red is going to do a strength saving throw. He doesn't have great strength. What do you need to do a concept? Oh yeah, do a concept at the end of your turn, Matt. I remember it and I didn't say anything. I want to break 28. Great. Really good. Good job. I'm great, really good. You did a job. So my constitution is plus 10 because I have plus
Starting point is 00:25:29 three to constitution. Plus I have, I'm proficient in it from resilience for constitution, which gives me my proficiency bonus, which is five. So that's eight. And then my staff's giving me plus two to all of my saving throws. That was my plus so good.
Starting point is 00:25:44 You did a good two. Math, math, math. 20x, baby. What's your staff call? The staff of power. Oh, whoo! Classic, but I wouldn't want it any other way. Yeah. That is one in the win column for Maveris.
Starting point is 00:25:55 So I'm one and one. So you're one and one, baby. Oh, in fighting the rash. It's just the ooze rash. You just feel like a baby. He just got the ooze rash. Hey just feel like me. Hey, this goddamn ooze rash. Hey, God, make that the truth. Hey, God, make that the truth.
Starting point is 00:26:08 Everyone, here, put a sock over your hand. Do not scratch it. You're gonna make it worse. You hear red from inside the goo. Being cut to one time, we got the ooze rash. We were going, gambling, it's smugglers bounty. We were good, wow. I wanna hear about the story.
Starting point is 00:26:22 We all got the ooze rash. We all got the ooze rash. It's totally not okay to say to kids, and I'm gonna say it. Tell it, tell it loud. At the end of Maverick's turn, it's gonna take its last layer action of the round and attempt to pull Red in.
Starting point is 00:26:40 Red is not incapacitated, so he'll just take acid damage at the beginning of his turn and be restrained unless somebody pulls him out. Is he close enough to get my aura? He is close enough to get your aura. It's a DC-21, and he does not have a good plus to strength. Let me look at Red stats right now. He has a plus zero.
Starting point is 00:26:58 Come on, team grease first monster goo. That is just a 20. Oh! So you see he is pulled into the monster. He will take damage on his turn. That is the Jubilix's turn. Jubilix is going to swing forward. At our boy Bev here, that's only a 17 ahead.
Starting point is 00:27:19 That misses. This is on the first attack. That's a 30 to head. That's going to hit 20 damage. Yep, I'm down again. Okay, you guys see dev goes down It takes its third attack against Irland. That is 19 to hit Irland and that hits him that does a big 20 damage to him and y'all homes you see the six smile on Merff's face. I love it's so twisted and big He's brining out over there. It's wild.
Starting point is 00:27:48 You're down. I'm down. Okay. That goes down. That is Bev's turn, Bev. Go ahead and give me a death saving throw. I love to, sir. It's that time again, folks.
Starting point is 00:27:59 Wow. At least we're continuing the episode this time. Oh, that's a 19, so close. But that is a save. That is a pass. At the end of Bev's turn, this thing is going to use a legendary action to lash out at Irlen verbally.
Starting point is 00:28:17 Says some really mean stuff to him. What? No. And does- At least it with you and teens. That's a big 30 damage. Irlen's got pretty thick skin, I think you can take it. It starts freaking out.
Starting point is 00:28:29 Shut up, I'm going through a lot. Just voice cracks even more than normal. Who do I save my father figure, my boyfriend? He called me his boyfriend. And I'm dead, not here. That is Red's turn. At the beginning of Red's turn, he takes 38 acid damage. You see him struggling, trying to get out,
Starting point is 00:28:52 but this thing is just eating him alive. And then at the end of his turn, the Jubalys is going to take a legendary action. The swings at Irland, it hits him for 20. Irland is looking pretty messed up. Red is looking very messed up. Don't like it. And then it is Irland's turn.
Starting point is 00:29:16 Irland sees, Mavris, you were just part of this like emotional thing where like you just don't know any of these people. It's like being at somebody else's wedding. And Mavris is just nodding a lot. thing where like you just don't know any of these people it's like being at somebody else's wedding. Avers is just nodding a lot. So nice toast. I feel it, I feel, well, I feel all of this a lot and I don't know what it is.
Starting point is 00:29:39 You see he's kind of not. Erlin, can you get, Erlin, I'm Avers. Hey, I'm Erlin. Can you get... Erlin, I'm Maverous. Hey, Omarulin, can you get Bev? I can get Bev, but then Red's gonna die too. I can get Red if you can get... Bev. You see, he looks at you with this like extremely serious face. You see his eyes are welling up and he goes, thanks for not making me choose, man.
Starting point is 00:30:07 You got it, dude. Are you still wearing the sunglasses? You see a Gwein pops up. Did you just do a fucking full house quote, dude? I don't even know you. I don't even know you. What's your deal? How rude.
Starting point is 00:30:24 I'm average. Wait a you come from. I don't even know you. What's your deal? How rude. I'm nervous. Wait a minute. What's up? Look, I just, I'm here to kick ass, okay? Oh, good. Whatever. No be mad at me. Yeah, because you're in a room with me.
Starting point is 00:30:36 I'm 19. Okay. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.
Starting point is 00:30:44 I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Just getting that out there. Erlin is going to rush over to you, Bev. Put his hand behind your head. Put his hand on your chest, and he is going to do a fourth level, your wounds. Let's hope I roll. Better give me some. I'm gonna give me some good rolls. Oh yeah, baby.
Starting point is 00:31:01 Oh yeah. That is a big 35 health Thank you to our friend Have here As I pop up I look at him and say I know now it's not the time, but I read the journal and I know you don't need to hear this from me, but Your cool is hell dude Shut up, dude. He goes and he gives you a kiss as reds just there's like,
Starting point is 00:31:27 I have fucking died here, guys. Come on, come on. Come on. At the end of the round, we are going to cut back to Frostwind. What are you guys doing now? How are you guys healing up? I mean, I think I gotta tune into the thinking cap and see what's going on. I mean, we got a gotta tune into the thinking cap and see what's going on.
Starting point is 00:31:45 I mean, we got a bunch of fake, getting dispatched, you know, basically one every second, dropping in, going to. You, you, you. So I think I should tune into the thinking cap and see what's up. Okay, Moonchain, you tune into the thinking cap. You're able to transport yourself to Asmodia, but you are in this strange fungal network.
Starting point is 00:32:07 So all of the landscape is just outlined to you. You can't fully see what's going on. You do see some magical items though, like magic appears to you. And the main thing you see are these giant chains. There are four of them that are hooked into the floating city of Glade home, almost like giant versions of what a pirate would use to get onto another boat. So Glade home is literally tethered to Osmodea. This appears to be some magical means by which Osmodea is keeping Glade home here.
Starting point is 00:32:42 Glade home can't teleport away. You see this bubble around the city though, it looks like Erdand's shield is still holding, but you also see Orcs trying to get into it. You can see Orcs because they have Elven blood, they're basically corrupted elves. You see they appear as these gray twisted figures and they're crawling up the bubble, crawling up this shield, thousands of them like ants on rotted food. You can see the spectral forms of elves within Gladehome and Aladron joining them. You can hear their thoughts, you hear a lot of anxiety. It looks like with the Aladron they're better off, but they're still surrounded, and it seems like at the very least, they'll need your help. What do y'all think about heading through that plan?
Starting point is 00:33:30 Hey, elves are my people just as much as the dwarves are. Let's do it. All right, I have some mud borders to lead. All right. You see, as- Are you covered in shit? Yes, isn't it great? As you guys are gathering up and getting ready to go into the tree and the
Starting point is 00:33:47 alladrin are running in. Koldane runs over to you guys and he goes, where are we needed? You're needed in Glide home, which is currently tethered to Asmodia. This humble plant that I have referenced several times, will take you there. You see, Koldane turns to all the frostwarves who are all kind of just like celebrating. They're all, you know, some of them are mourning people that they lost.
Starting point is 00:34:17 A lot of them are just super exhausted. And Koldane turns to them and he goes, Hey, these people just saved this city. They want us to help save another city. So us dwarves are gonna go to this weird tree thing. Help me out of here, man. I call them Dirt's Hard one. You were on the right track,
Starting point is 00:34:37 yeah, the dwarves are headed to this weird tree thing. Hey, the way. This way to the fade. Fade this way, what did it say? Don't delay. Which ever gets a move in, honestly. Whichever they seem more excited about. Hey, you know what?
Starting point is 00:34:56 These guys have bigger berries than any other L-Five ever seen. Let's go through that weird, creepy thing. See everyone starts cheering. There it is, there it is. My jaw trembles and it tearles down my cheek. You guys see the Frost Orbs join you guys as you go through the port key. Let's cut back to Jubelix.
Starting point is 00:35:20 Red has been consumed by this giant monster and is still struggling to escape. Bev and Irland are taking serious damage at the top of the order. That is Cobb and Aguene. Aguene shoots. That isn't that one, but she is a halfling. She is lucky. Lots of halflings in this campaign. That's an at 20. Yeah!
Starting point is 00:35:40 Good, so cool. So, her and Cobb do a total of, oh my God, I combined their attacks to make this easy for me, but it also means that when they crit, they do so much damage. Heck yeah, she did. 70 damage. Hold it long. You see this thing explodes in a huge chunk of it breaks off. I should have stayed dead.
Starting point is 00:36:04 They got this. Dude. We absolutely don't I was joking. I was trying to keep it light. Sorry. Yeah, everybody keep it lighter. We got to remember to Remember remember to land That's it. Mavers gets it. I honestly don't. At the end of Cobb and Gwein's turn. You're making it real good.
Starting point is 00:36:30 Cobb and Gwein both pass their flesh rot thing. They can ask. I'm starting to like it. It's kind of fun having it scratched. It's like being addicted to tobacco. Which is fine. Everybody knows. You're so red. He starts smoking and it starts a small fire.
Starting point is 00:36:48 Smokers back. We can use that. That's like a fireball. At the end of Cobb and Gweins turn, it's going to take an acid lash at Irland. That is a natural one. Mrs. Irland whips at him,
Starting point is 00:37:02 but the power of love stops him. You guys just like duck to make out and the umgoo gets over it. No we do. I put my hand in his back pocket. Hey, you motherfuckers, get me out of the god damn goo. It hurts so fucking bad in here. I got bits of my fucking best friend in here. God damn it.
Starting point is 00:37:22 Mavericks, that's your turn. I forgot to check in on this. Am I restrained still? You are restrained. Okay. Can I use my sunbeam to blow off the stuff that's restraining? I would allow you to. Okay, I'll do that. Okay, just, you know, just like a pressure washer right on blasting slime off myself. Sweet. Okay, I'm going to run and jump into the slime and grab red. And then I'm going to use a quick and spell to thundersnap out. Yeah!
Starting point is 00:37:52 Yeah! Thunderstrap! Thunderstrap! Jesus Christ, that's so rad. OK, go ahead and give me acrobatics or athletics check. You can do it no matter what, but if you are fast enough, I won't take. You won't take any damage.
Starting point is 00:38:10 Or you can do like an arcanic check or something, the idea being that the magic protects you as you like just make the minimal amount of contact to be able to save red. Very funny for me to be able to choose between Arcanic athletics and choose athletics. Ha ha. Do you join the Ultimate Frisbee team? Yes. For me to be able to choose between Arcana athletics and choose athletics Do you join the ultimate frisbee team? Yes, I don't really know what any of this is but I can do it
Starting point is 00:38:33 Okay, so that would be 17 that is actually going to fail, okay, but Mattress you take 19 damage, okay of acid damage as you reach in you grab red you thunderstep you slam your foot down and stomp and lightning comes out and you and him disappear you appear holding this gooey rat man who's just dying and sizzling in your arms fuck absolutely fuck my life hey man I don't know what you are but I didn't want you to die. I fucking love you, do you? A pat or? I'm a goddamn rat man. No, I'm sad, right? I put the sunglasses on. Thank you. That makes me. Oh, and Thunderstep is 3D10. Yeah, Thunderstep is a cool shop. Does he make a deck saver or anything? Constitution saver safe Thunder's up is dimension door, but with damage shout out to the two crew
Starting point is 00:39:29 It does not pass his constitution save Early in your rat dad so cool. I love how much he swears. That's yeah, he's right as hell only 13 damage I know only in a battle like this and I'm gonna gonna land behind like behind a Gwayne Okay, yeah, yeah, you get behind those guys. Those guys. Oh, hey, it's the other guy with the itch. You got to lose your tret. Pretty bad.
Starting point is 00:39:51 And speaking of, yeah, it sucks. I got a roll for it. Yeah, a roll for it. 28 again. Nice. Nice. Less itch every day. Hey, man, I've powered through things like this.
Starting point is 00:40:01 Listen, if we get through this, I can heal everyone with the holy power of Benitril and Pelor's light combined into some sort of super goo. But for now, I think we should focus on killing this thing. Sweet. Erlin actually forgot to roll his flesh rot, his ooze rash gets worse. That is the Jubilix's turn.
Starting point is 00:40:23 Our guy. It's our guy, baby. So a Guppy guy. Our Guppy guy. This dude, you see it opens like a false gooey maw and starts spitting up acid at Irland. Irland is going to go ahead and make a deck save. He fails.
Starting point is 00:40:40 Can I use my reaction to like shield him? I will. Can I like toss my shield Captain America's style? I will tell you right now that he rolled poorly enough that it will not help. But I will say that like you get up and try to shield him and Irland pushes you down out of the way. I don't need to say we do covered in this acidity
Starting point is 00:40:58 that was instantly knocked down super hurt. You see he falls back and this green gunk begins to crawl on him like it did Gunther that is Your turn Bev okay. Um, how was Earlan looking? Earlan is knocked the fuck out. He's out. Yes Nobody else can heal here All right, I got a Earlan's our healer. I got to get him back up. I'm gonna go to him, Maveris is doing massive damage with his sun beams and fire bolts, so I'm not worried about that.
Starting point is 00:41:31 I'm gonna run over to Erlin, just like all times, gonna take out my two hands, clap them together, warm them up. Touch hands, my boy. You touch hands, your boy. You do a touch. He finishes hands with you, and tandem hands your boy. You do a touch. He finishes hands with you and tandem hands
Starting point is 00:41:48 He pops back up. How much are you gonna heal for? 15 so I have five left sweets. He pops back up to 15 that is Reds turn red. Please don't get it. Yeah, I don't want to go back in there, but at the same time the kids right? Yeah I next turn I could do something, but I don't know if we can have that much time Yeah, jumped in that cool monster once before and it sucked so bad truly. Yeah, I did too. All right I'm just gonna throw a knife at him. Okay. Hey kids watch out. I'm throwing a fucking knife Red just tosses a knife, haphazardly.
Starting point is 00:42:27 Yeah, absolutely misses. How is their group so much cooler than a mist? A mist. A mist. It's huge, dude. Well, you see it just eats his knife. It just like, he didn't throw it. It didn't hit an eye.
Starting point is 00:42:38 It just like hit goop. It's just like throwing a toothpick at some jello. She's like, OK, yeah. You did that, I guess. At the end of Red's turn, this thing is going to take an acid lash attack at Bev as a legendary action, 21 to hit. The hits.
Starting point is 00:42:56 17 damage. Okay, still up. You stand up, baby. That is Irlin's turn. Irlin is going to hold his turn to see kind of where he's needed. He just looks around. He's got like a healing spell ready. You just see like one glowing gauntleted hand.
Starting point is 00:43:17 That is back up to Cobb and Gwein, the dream team. Oh, Cobb throws the potion. That is a natural 17, that is a 26 total. They do a big 30 damage to this thing. Yeah, yeah. This thing is looking extremely messed up at the end of Cobb and Aguain's turn though. It is going to lash forward at Irland. It hits Irland. You see Irland goes down. Irland just gets hit by a big slimy hand.
Starting point is 00:43:53 No! It gets cracked and flies back. That is Maveris' turn. Okay. Are you gonna throw a knife, dude? Don't throw a fucking knife man. Hey Can I have a knife later if I make it through this? Yes, you can have goddamn whatever you want man. All right Sunbeam and then a level four my last two sorcery points to quick and spell fireball at a level four. Okay 26 26 to quick and spell Fireball at a level four. Okay. 26. 26.
Starting point is 00:44:28 Maveris. Finish this. Yeah! Maveris sees these two boys in love and with his carabiner power, shoots the sun being out of his chest. He rips his sunglasses back from red and puts them back.
Starting point is 00:44:44 Ha! And then actually takes a knife from red and throws it in the air just because. Whoa, the collectors. Yes. Love is love. Did you just quote Lynn Mill, Manuel Miranda? It is love. And just shoots a sun beam at the Jubelix. Jesus Christ, you shoot this beam of red hot light, hits this thing and it begins to melt away, as you give an insane speed that you took from someone who does not exist in this world.
Starting point is 00:45:27 I just made that up. Maveris loves the entire world. It's so inspiring. You see old Cobb is sobbing. That's fucking beautiful man. God damn it. I'm maveris. Splish rhythm.
Starting point is 00:45:42 You might be unscoulded, but your heart is so wise. Did I make an impression, everybody? Yeah, you fry this thing. The rest of the goop falls and sizzles and disappears. It melts away all of the stuff that it lands on, but it is no longer sentient. So it just plops over immediately, a Gwain runs over and she runs up to you, Bev.
Starting point is 00:46:11 She puts her hand on your shoulder, and then she leans down and she pours a potion in Irland's mouth. You see Irland pops up and he starts coughing. Oh, hey, everyone. Anyone that's afflicted with the contagion, I cleansing touch them. Oh, can I, overall, just to see if I beat it
Starting point is 00:46:31 up my own free will? Yeah. Yeah. 19, I beat it. Oh, you beat it. I can't wait for me. How do we meet? My immunity is so.
Starting point is 00:46:39 So, okay. I've basically gotten the flu shot for this. Did you beat Uzic it? Johnny Rowan man Tell people that Tell my tale Everybody gets over there Bard here come on someone make a song He's a very hard here. Come on. Someone make a song.
Starting point is 00:47:07 Best or fifth. You guys all catch your breath. You look around. You see this destroyed castle. You see the decaying remains of all these guards that like tried to help. And you do hear fighting throughout the city. And as you guys like try to catch your breath, you see Red is kind of staring forward, obviously very upset that he lost Gunther.
Starting point is 00:47:33 You see Maz, this little wizard dwarf guy suddenly appears in the doorway and he goes, there's trouble at the door finish, they can't defend themselves, they don't have enough guards. We're there. All Alright, follow me. And he runs out, you guys take off after him. We're gonna cut back over to the other team. This episode in AdPod has brought to you by Bird Dogs. They're a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age-old battle between the two,
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Starting point is 00:48:58 promo code pop-up for a free Yeti style tumbler. You won't want to take your bird dogs off, we promise you. Okay, that's it for me, go team pants and enjoy the show. You guys appear in Glade Home by the Silver Tree outside of Glade Home Castle. You're with frost dwarves and a ladrin. You see orcs are trying to get in, they're climbing the barrier, mages and archers are getting ready to fire on them. Others are running to the front lines and preparing for them to get through the barrier. It's kind of like the bubble in Esri looking out. You can see outside but everything looks kind of blurry but you see the outlines of the fallen city
Starting point is 00:49:44 with crumbling towers and buildings. Actually, you know what? Let's go ahead and do a pure luck check. We'll say tenor higher, and the barrier is still up when you guys get here. If you get any lower, then it'll just be chaos as soon as you show up. Who's rolling it? Who's rolling it? Not me, I've been rolling like shit. That's why you're fucking do. Yeah. Yeah, you got out your pirate rolls now it's time. Yeah. Alright. I've been rolling too good. It's gonna end. 19. Finally, a 19-year. The shield is still holding. Great. You see that there are all these projectiles flying at it. And there are like holes appearing in the barrier that are taking longer to kind of seal
Starting point is 00:50:28 Occasionally an arrow will get through but you do see Coming through the port key are your old friends crann and Durlin You see a crann looks like this little monster hunter a bunch of daggers on her belt and two swords on her back this little monster hunter, a bunch of daggers, honor belt, and two swords on her back. She's got scars across her face and long brown hair, and you see Durland's there, and he's got like his men bun up, and he's a real fancy boy of the summer court, but you know that they had, they were living in the Bear Princess place, so they were in spring. So you see they walk up and Durland goes scout masters. It's a beautiful day to die.
Starting point is 00:51:04 Is it not? I was a hot tub. It's good. I'd like to get back there in one piece of that. Yeah, we'll keep the D word out of your mouth and you will. All right, Dirlin, keep the D word out of your mouth. Very well, my love. I'll die with the D word. What's the D word? Because I want to go in a hot tub. Oh, it's die. Oh, no, never say the D word. My name is Dirland, by the way, I'm I'm Apple. So nice to meet you.
Starting point is 00:51:32 I like your many knives. Very rad. Thank you. Yeah. All right, well, all right. So what's the plan here? I heard you're like the queen of the material plane now. That's what be news to me. I'm merely borrowing the thinking cap for the time being and trying to lend my touch where I can. Sounds about right, darling. Moonshot.
Starting point is 00:51:57 What do we do? Okay, before I know what I can do, I need to try to go into my thinking cap again, because I'd like to try to figure out what Mimon, Conace are up to, and if possible, I think I'd like to make sure that Bev and Mav are okay. They're not elves, so you cannot connect to them through the thinking cap. But can I see my stinky spores all over them?
Starting point is 00:52:18 Go ahead and roll a wisdom save as you try to tap into the thinking cap. 18 18 you were able to sense that Cobb is still there. All right, because he's in the mouth. Maybe I'll just say Cobb, you're all okay? Did I send you the reinforcements? Well, with the 18 would you like to speak to Cobb or you also get a read on? So it is. No, it is okay. I'm going to check in on Mimon's promise.
Starting point is 00:52:51 You see as you tap into the thinking cap and tap in your sport network, you see that there are the spectral forms of elves all around you and everyone is extremely nervous. So there's a lot of noise, like a lot of people's thoughts and everybody's rambling, everybody's very scared, but you focus and you zero in on Mima and Lucanus and you are dragged through the strange demi plane and you find them amongst all of these orcs, these gray spectral figures that are trying to get into the city. Mima and Lucanis are sneaking around. Mima, Papa, the other P-A-P-A-P-A. Oh, Chad, what are you doing here?
Starting point is 00:53:41 How are you talking to me in my head? So, turns out I've been leaving my stinky spores on everyone. It's given me sort of a... Are you using the no-at-the-all right now? My daughter. Yeah dad I am. In fact I've been communing with with a Dijuana. He immediately begins sobbing. Okay okay I think you're trying to stealth right now. Maybe hold them in build up them walls like hardwall I said choke some back thick
Starting point is 00:54:09 Me ma goes I'm so glad you're all right. You guys defeated the terrasque. Oh, yeah, that terrasque is absolutely It's just it all right. Thank God Because obviously we got a big problem here. Yeah, your father and I we saw that there were a lagerin that were coming through. It looks like they got quite a few Elven troops in there now. You know, I may or may not have had some. No, you did. You know, I'm not a, I'm not a, I'm not a, I'm not a half my way with a rift in the sky.
Starting point is 00:54:35 I'm not a set up a little baby. A shot of sobbing. You know, I'm not a, I'm not a, I'm not a, I'm not a, I'm not a, you know, a lady never tells. Right, right. Um, anyway, um, the city guy. A lady never tells. Right, right. Anyway, the city's still completely surrounded. As you can see, there are all of these chains that are stopping the city from being able to get away.
Starting point is 00:54:56 They have the high ground, they have the city surrounded. So I mean, your father we're trying to do. It's a- Get rid of them chains. Oh, should we have tried to get rid of the chains? Ha ha ha ha ha ha. You see, Lucana's goes, I think if we were to try to get rid of the chains,
Starting point is 00:55:15 it would just alert them to our location and we'd be pretty quickly dispensed. We were trying to find acerats and cut the head off of the beast and we have located him and we were going to face him. It was a bit foolhardy with just the two of us but perhaps with your help it wouldn't be so foolhardy. I got a couple of hearty fools for your mission. Do you have, oh, I was gonna say, do you have any way of getting you out of the city? I've been saving a seven-level spell.
Starting point is 00:55:53 Why don't you save it some more? Excel Cior! I'm so sorry. He casts Teleport and appears next to you guys within the city. Oh, hello. Hey, so we're in the In the flesh. Yeah, we're doing sort of a little bit of a network thing sort of like an early world wide web. Good stuff. Hey, Hey, Luke That's what we're doing now. Try it on. We're calling it Luke. Okay. You're just such a
Starting point is 00:56:21 Loot. It's so weird. It's a big day. I'm not gonna fight it. You know what I'm not gonna fight it today All right, can you get us to wear okay? Scrombra mm-hmm hard one How you all feel about couldn't head off this beast Fuck yeah, yeah hard one. I think you're the first person I ever saw to capitate someone so See if I can repeat that yeah,. In honor to be fighting alongside you, Luke. I'm Apple, nice to meet you. Oh, this is my dad.
Starting point is 00:56:51 He's dirty. You know you're dead he is. I know, I know. You know what? My name is Lucana Sartia. Er, Earthier. Yes, my name is Luke Earthier. I'm amazing.
Starting point is 00:57:05 I use that one. You run a smoothie shop. Best good berries in all the home. I'm going to say he took Mima with him as well. He makes sense for him to tell about by himself. So Mima arrives. Apple, good to see you again. How's the field?
Starting point is 00:57:22 As bad as the Crayacombs shore. Oh, you know know it's always beautiful Unfortunately taken over by chosen at the moment. Well, yes, no, they are big milk drinkers. Yeah, they're probably draining them cows. I Don't blame them, but I do want to kill them They give dairy a bad name Yeah, you see as you guys gather around Lucana Sen Mima, Cran and Durlin go and join the other Fae folk, the Eladrin in prepping to defend the city,
Starting point is 00:57:52 Kudar joins them as well. A few green nights come through, but it's mostly Eladrin from the spring courts and that's where the rift between the two planes is. Lucana slings into you guys and goes, all right, if this is is our team I can teleport us There's a tower that overlooks the city where I've been able to track Accurat to I can't get us in but I can get us to the base and we can confront them from there. Do I see
Starting point is 00:58:18 Coldain Yeah, sweet can I say goodbye to him? Yeah, all right cool. Hey, you're majesty. I'm gonna piece out I just wanted to say deuces and Well shit, it's been an honor here. You can have this good very in case you need it now only have one guys that's hilarious man not only have one, guys. That's fucking hilarious, man. He gives you a big hug and takes the berry from you. And he puts his hand on your shoulder.
Starting point is 00:58:53 And he looks very serious. And he goes, you know, politically, it's usually within the family that you pass on the crown. But the really true followers of Mordyn, Hammer chooses next king. Now my, my current son is, I just hate his guts. He's just a bad, he's a bad rotten guy. Yeah, that happens sometimes with sons. And you remind me of Gerard. You know, I used to not be so fond of that guy at one point, but he's a brave dude. Yes.
Starting point is 00:59:35 I'm honored that I remind you of him. I am. Perhaps we start calling you tall prince. So you're what, man, I wouldn't fuck eat that. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha lines of elves and stuff. Look at this, guys. May the fucking leaves, man. The frost-doors are freaking out at the eladrant. It's made up of leaves. It's a complete culture shock. All right, all right, all right, all right. Hey, browse wind-doors.
Starting point is 01:00:14 Maybe we'd be nice to the eladrant, okay? Maybe we try on some leaves ourselves. All right, all right. Give me some of your leaves. So put it on. Start making... What's that about, hard one, huh? You fixing to get your own crown?
Starting point is 01:00:29 No, I just like being called tollas all. Everybody's finding their daddies today, I guess. So Lucana scathers you guys all together and goes, the shield won't hold forever, but hopefully the army can hold off the orcs long enough to give us time. From morale. I mean, a lot of these folk, I'm telling you what, I am tapping into some negative energy
Starting point is 01:00:52 and a lot of these folk think that they are just on the other side of death store right now, and I want people to know that they are not fighting to die. I think if you were to tell them that, it would make them feel a lot better. Yeah, Moonshine, you hear all of this chatter in your head using the thinking cap. I'm so bad at this shit. I lay down my woodblock so Moonshine can stand out and get just a little bit taller.
Starting point is 01:01:18 Oh. I get a little bit taller. I better own my shoulders. I get a lot taller.. I better own my shoulders. I get a lot taller. Hey y'all. Hey y'all, listen up. Hey y'all, my name's moonshine seven. Sorry, this isn't one of those kind of events.
Starting point is 01:01:35 Oh moonshine. Oh wow. You see all the crakes saved at the same time. Wow. I'm not much of a public speaker, more of a sort of behind the scenes kind of person. Anyways, I want to let y'all know. I know that y'all think that you are here to die an honorable death for a cause that you believe in, but that is not what is going to happen.
Starting point is 01:01:55 We are going to make sure that what you are doing is not in vain. Go ahead and make a persuasion check with advantage. 16. 16. You see the one frost ostriches, he yells out, this woman tore a fuck in the hole in the sky. That's true. I guess what I'm trying to say, y'all,
Starting point is 01:02:13 is that this fight is not on your shoulders. The heavy lifting is gonna be down to us, and we are gonna make it easy for you. That is all I'm saying, and I want you to go into this fight, knowing that we have got your back So get your mud boards Climbing them trees You see a bunch of elves
Starting point is 01:02:30 Start putting their mud boards on they do that really laborious snowboard thing We're like sit down and they start clipping in um and you see um elves and Frost orbs look up at you moon shine And there's just a chorus of kind of, I am Spartacus, but just like, now I've got your back. Now I've got your back. I've got your back. You buy us time and we will buy you your lives.
Starting point is 01:02:52 We'd love to have my life. Well, you will. We got your back. We got your back. We got your back. We got your back. You're back. Okay.
Starting point is 01:03:02 Apple's strong, right? Yeah. Shut up. I'm just, right? Shab! I'm just, you always carry a little flask with me in that side. It's been a long day. Get that field of water. This woman rode a frickin' thine a sword. That's right.
Starting point is 01:03:16 Yeah. I deserve a little nip. You're our first ask is bone dry. It's fine, everybody. It found our heads above. You guys are all pumped up with adrenaline and stuff. Erdan is actively holding the shield, so you guys are in a bit of a time crunch.
Starting point is 01:03:35 I'll say you can do a short rest, but you can only use half your hit dice. So it's basically, this is just you guys getting pumped up, being like, all right, we had a breather getting back out on the field right now in the meantime We're gonna cut back over to iron deep so maveris bev
Starting point is 01:03:53 Irland aguain cob and red follow Maz you guys rush through the city you see that the entirety of iron deep is built inside this massive cavern You see that the entirety of Iron Deep is built inside this massive cavern. Overhead, you see various cart tracks and zip line systems that go through the city. It's all very fun stuff done very practically. Oh, yes. Oh, my gosh. Oh, we could make you learn a thing or two. Can we say that we looked at your amulet?
Starting point is 01:04:20 Oh, for sure. Everyone's having a good time. We have time for a bonus action. Look at your amulet. Can we also say that Everyone's having a tough time. You have time for a bonus action. Look at your amulet. Can we also say that before we left that chamber, I maybe scooped up some of Gunther's hair, just as like a potential fail safe resurrection down the road. Yeah, so as you, as Mass is like going to take you guys out,
Starting point is 01:04:40 Red looks at you as you're like looking through the goo and he goes, Hey, kid, what are you doing? We gotta go. I'm just trying to find some of something of Gunther. I have a lot of power to have Gunther in our heart. No. Oh, oh, you mean literally? Literally. You sick fuck. What you want is like arm or something. No, I have a lot of powerful friends and I trust that maybe one day they'll be able to
Starting point is 01:05:04 bring Gunther back. And even if not, I feel like you should have something of him. Just like a little tough of hair or something. Oh, do you think hair will work? Because sometimes he used to get all nodded and you see he pulls out this hairbrush. Oh, thank you! He couldn't get between his shoulder blades. I clapped red on the shoulder.
Starting point is 01:05:29 He might not come back exactly like the Gunther you knew, but he'll still be Gunther. So we have to try. If you would allow me to take a little piece of this and give it to my friend Moonshine, I think we could try to reincarnate him when the moment's right. I mean, that would be fucking incredible here, man. Take all his air. I start pulling hair out of the comb.
Starting point is 01:05:52 We share a comb, so I'm gonna keep the comb. We just have the one. I'll try to divide them. I pull out the hair. I pull out a little zip lock. Sweet, he gives you some of Gunther's hair. You guys have rushed out, You have gone through the city. You guys arrive at Iron Deep Door Finage. You see a broken sign. It's like broken in half, so it just says
Starting point is 01:06:17 like Iron Finage. You see that the door. You see that the door. he's about right, to the old building has been broken down and that several of the windows are broken. You can also hear fighting throughout the city. You passed by some like hollow body doggers that were fighting against iron deep nights and stuff, but it looks like they have a handle on it now that the Jubaliks is dead. But you get to the dwarf image and it looks like somebody has broken in here but
Starting point is 01:06:53 you don't hear anything going on inside and you see Maz goes, shit, shit, shit. I saw some doggers heading in this direction before and now all the kids are gone They might have taken them deeper into the mines I can teleport us to a doerger camp that I know of but are you guys ready for another fight? Amen Well, do we have to do we got to do it? Yeah, if someone has a potion I could pop that be great, but we can do it. I think our buddy hard one would have wanted us to save some dwarven. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:26 Everyone looks at the amlin and gets up to full. Great. These other guys look at the amulets. Great. Erlin gets a bunch of HP, a Gwein, and Cobb. We're pretty much at full. Red gets up to full. You see, Maz goes and he puts one hand on Erlin.
Starting point is 01:07:44 One hand on Bev. Looks around. Hop on his back. You hop on his back, grab his beard. Hong Kong. BB. BB down there, man. All right, everybody ready to go?
Starting point is 01:07:58 Thanks so. All right, Maveris, you see Maz, whew, disappears with Erlin and Bev, and you crash onto the floor there. In the doorfinage, an orange ball starts glowing, go ahead and give me a dexterity saving throw. What is Ma's a bad guy? Oh shit.
Starting point is 01:08:18 18. Maveris, he passed. What the hell are you doing, man? Maybe he's bringing them to Acra. Acra loves teen boys. No, man. No. He's taking us on a chaperone date. That's obviously what's happening.
Starting point is 01:08:36 We're going to a roller coaster. It's fine. I think he's bringing you to Acra. Acra loves teen boys. Merp has so much dice. Oh no. 75 damage. As you see, dice back in here. Oh no. 75 damage. As you see, the dwarf image explodes.
Starting point is 01:08:51 All of these stones and rocks fly out, clearly rigged with some kind of trap. You guys all are knocked prone. You're blown back from this explosion and a Gwaine just scrambles to her feet and she goes, where the fuck happened? Where did they go? I think Maz is a fucking asshole.
Starting point is 01:09:15 I think he's part of the bad guy too. Look, I know the least about everything. So 75 was half? I'm not gonna know, 75 was total. So if you take half, you only took like 32. Oh, okay. So Cobb failed, so he looks super fucked up, but still alive.
Starting point is 01:09:34 Red looks messed up because he doesn't have a lot of HP to start with, so he's not looking great and a Gwain looks like a little messed up, but right now she's just frazzled. Okay. Okay. Okay. Can I make some kind of arcana check to see if I understand like if he was,
Starting point is 01:09:49 or just like a, yeah, go ahead and check or something to make sure if I use lying or something. Go ahead and make an arcana check, yeah. Arcana check. Are you doing like an arcana check to like remember every interaction with him or something because he's a bad guy? Oh, it's a 11.
Starting point is 01:10:04 Could I also make a like, you know, like, is there anything that I can, I made an 11 on an arc on a check, but can I make any sort of like perception check? Perception we want. Basically we want like in the movie when all the flashbacks happen back to back. Oh yeah, your pie's your so is that.
Starting point is 01:10:18 You can go back and I can be, can I put the pieces together? Yeah. He said his name was Maz Bad Guy. That's only a 13 okay Insight so what you know that in order to cast the teleport spell It's not a banishment or anything the person has to Want to go with you they have to agree to the teleport so it seems like you lowered you guys here was hoping to, for some reason,
Starting point is 01:10:47 teleport Bevan Irland somewhere and then get rid of the rest of you guys. But you guys are too strong to be killed in one hit. This is unnecessarily optimistic, but maybe he's just like a private eye for Martha Togel and she really wants back home. Or like a couple's counts. She wanted just everyone he knew to die. Again, I think he's taking us to six flags. Wait, yeah, you're 19. You told me earlier for some reason. Right, yeah. Maybe they want kids for some reason.
Starting point is 01:11:14 So you think maybe the doorgers are, he's part of the doorgers or something? I don't know. I think he's part of, you know, Akarad is, how much of this do you know? As you guys are chatting, we're gonna cut over to Bev. Bev, okay.
Starting point is 01:11:29 You appear in darkness. It does not look like you're near a door or a camper, anything, you don't hear anyone at the moment. As, Erlin? You hear somebody like 10 or 15 feet in front of you. You hear Erlin go, Beth? Beth, is that you? Erlin, is that, where are you?
Starting point is 01:11:52 I hear your voice. You see Erlin? Did we tug on the beard too hard? You see Erlin holds his hands up. You see he lights like a white flame in his hand. He's able to light up his face and he goes, yeah, I don't know. I don't know if the doergers have some kind of block, but this cave is really dark. Suddenly, you see he's hit with this concussive force. The light goes out and you see he's like, he's
Starting point is 01:12:18 pulled up. He's like yanked up to the ceiling and you hear a crash of metal. Pull out my sword. You pull out your sword, begins to glow white. You see torches start going up all around the room and you see the source of the spell that through, early into the ceiling. You see Mazotul.
Starting point is 01:12:41 You see he's now wearing a mask like the grave robbers that we're working with Galad and the Chosen. As the torches light all around you you see that you are in the middle of a large circular stone room. You are surrounded on all sides by Chosenites, archers and mages from the grave robbers, you see, Maz just gives you a little smirk, and a moment later, a figure pushes through the soldiers theala, with long golden hair glowing with radiant energy. You can see Irland struggling up on the ceiling. You know what you're doing isn't right. You know it deep down. This isn't the way. How could
Starting point is 01:13:36 this be? Look at him. Look what you're doing. What choice did I have Beverly? I wanted to work with you. There's always a choice. There's always a better choice. You had a choice. You made your choice Beverly Togo. Now you're gonna help me whether you want to or not. And that's where we'll end our session. Oh no. God damn my boys. Oh No My boys So it's not six flags No, it's the worst place you can be oh, no
Starting point is 01:14:13 Oh goodness, we should have sniffed mass to see if he smelled like sour milk. We forgot to sniff everyone You got to remember to sniff more people sweet guys. Um follow us on patreon.com slash nad pod. That's N-E-D-D-P-O-D. Don't sing that. We are. Baw. You must stop trying to watch. How many episodes have we done?
Starting point is 01:14:33 You messed up. How many? So you can listen to, listen to our short rest after show. We can theorize on what's going on with Bev here. Then guys, Zachoyama, what do you got to plug? I guess same as last time, we got Dimension 20 on Twitch, and then I have my own Twitch at Zachoyama, right on. Apple, what do you got?
Starting point is 01:14:59 Yeah, Dimension 20, I'm also on watch Rick and Morty, more episodes coming out at some point unknown and you know read a book Yeah, oh I'm what's asked that you don't Oh shit take that book turn it up Go to the library Ted those books. I'll play a maverick sent. I'll play a visual novel to appease you both. Sweet guys, follow us on Twitter at CHMRIFUSME. I'd call these call-doll. AdVornitom is Shivan, AdiExpert is Emily, AdZakoyama is Zakoyama, and of course,
Starting point is 01:15:37 AdJay Kerwitz is J. Kerwitz, and you can tweet about the show using hashtag NADPA that's NADD-D-P-O-D. We are we are! Youth of the nation, we are we are! You are the name! Hello friends, called well here, it is the end of our show, which means it's time to shout out our benevolent counsel of elders. Let's get right to it. Brad D. Dillon B. Danny P. Steelbreaker and Spencer Casque Brue. Five chosen wizards who Theola has tasked with creating a conceal sour milk spell.
Starting point is 01:16:18 Luckily they've had little to no success. Beardman Dan. Adam R. Danielle the Dastardly Dame, Alacard, and Michelle O, antique collectors who each own one of Akarat's mini-file actress. None have been tempted to use them, however, because it would greatly hurt the resale value of the gems. How do I frostback, Jordan DJ, Jeffrey S,
Starting point is 01:16:41 Cutter W, and Andrew M. Five people who will betray the band of boobs at one point or another. We don't know when or how, but at some point in the future, Haldor, Jordan, Jeffrey, Cutter, and Andrew will all independently gain the boobs trust than attempt to thwart them at the most inconvenient time possible. Probably with poison. Truly brutal. Shoeb with the mushroom. Elena C. Mixologist Michael McDee. Balmore's boy. And Maddie Big Crits. A squad of elite water nips that actually live in Dirlin and Kranz-Jakuzi. They agreed to fight for Abuhumia if Dirlin and Kranz agreed
Starting point is 01:17:19 to start washing their nasty hobbit feet before getting in the tub. Justin I, Jacob C, Elena M, Jostrich, and Dana G, a group of spring eladrin scouts that are literal green teens. Legends say that their jamberines have never been canceled, and also that someone totally got a hand job at one a couple years back. Amazing. a couple years back. Amazing. Damial R, Destin Sea, Jive G, Earl and Kathleen L, and Crow of Omen. A family of orcs who had just installed solar panels on their home and Asmodia the day before Glade Home teleported on top of it. Fortunately, Akraught offered to cover their electric bill if they joined his army. Maybe not the greatest trick the devil has ever pulled, but still super effective.
Starting point is 01:18:07 Sergio Salazar Salamon Sakarraez de Siquani Michael L. Trele the Krayfe, Jory S. and Michael K. Elma The Dwarven architects who designed Iron Deeps Minecart Rail System They even installed a special sign that says, don't forget to duck hard one surefoot after the 30th time he cracked his head on a tunnel. They even installed a special sign that says, don't forget to duck, hard one surefoot, after the 30th time he cracked his head on a tunnel. Adam H. Ryan, Aaron G. Jake L. and Zach C. A group of green teens that the Aula tried to kidnap instead of Bev, but they kept skipping and touching hands and talking about being
Starting point is 01:18:40 in a bag so much that the chosen said they were too annoying to keep around. Fair enough. Big Buck, Richard X Machina, Sam L, Troy McSee, and Gage M. A group of Gladehome high elves who were so mad to be teleported to his modia, they went into a rage and finally discovered the barbarians that were inside them all along. Congrats y'all! Dom R, Josh S, Nicholas C. Austin C. and Kristen P. The Brave Warriors, the Jubilocks, ate before they had the fight, so that it was actually
Starting point is 01:19:13 kind of full and ate less people. Truly a noble sacrifice. Mike H. Matthew E. Samuel B. and O'Cotta. The gnomes who bravely defended Cobb, Yaguain, Maveris, Bev and Irland from the Jubilix. Somehow a Merv conveniently forgot to mention them. Where sick of your revisionist history, Murphy, get it together. Aren C. TJM the gnome barbarian, trash the traveler and Robert F. A group of cataclysm tourists who used teleport to take selfies with both the terrasque and the Jubelix. Dangerous but thrilling.
Starting point is 01:19:48 Anime intellect, Zolo Dolo, Nick B, and Amberl T. The motivated citizens behind trues, the Coalition to reveal the truth about oozes and slimes. Sure monsters like the Jubelix give them a bad name, but there's a lot of very charitable and gentle oozes out there too. Speak truth to ooze you guys. Colton B. J. C. C. Lulu. Aiden R. H. and Blitzbree Dmitry. A team of giant spies. Stealth doesn't come naturally to them, but with the right lighting and a great role, you'd swear it was just halfling breaking into your house and going through your stuff.
Starting point is 01:20:25 I'm hopeless, Timmy R, Alex M, Aaron Sully and Eric G, a band of bars who travel the land singing songs of the legendary hero Maveris, a tiefling who beat Usich and plagiarized a Tony Awards speech. Truly a hero and legend of our time. Lucas B, Jordan L, Talith X, Mateo C. and Pupp Thoth. A group of iron deep knights who were consumed by the Jubilix and kept Red Company while he was in there. They all got a solid round of Uno in before they were unceremoniously destroyed by acid.
Starting point is 01:21:00 Austin MR. Kaley Lease. Barnes & Aitor. And Mick Pucks, a crew of Frostwin comedy nerds who find the Barryjoke Juvenile and unoriginal. They're currently punching up some fresh berry takes to submit to King Coldain by the end of the battle. Good luck with that, folks!
Starting point is 01:21:18 Dev and W, Shenoa B, Jared E, Persephone and Eric Mick D, the Dwarfants who helped rig the explosion that almost killed Maveris. They had no idea they were part of an evil plot. They just really wanted to blow up that Dwarfinage and decided to go along with it. Reese NS, Eric and Andrea B, Charo Arcadius, and Jay Parker. A bunch of Aladdin who don't know how to read so they never saw the Fae this way sign. They've just been running full speed at random trees and hoping for the best. Steven C. Maxwell C. Mike K. Omri M. and Calum L.
Starting point is 01:21:54 An elite squad of Orcs who are brutal at rousing. These Orcs love to rip each other and take no prisoners with their goofs. They do however take prisoners with their swords so that they can torture them for information. Smart. Scott D. No Thor the Prodigy Ranger. McCongi and Dan. The mixologist who crafted igweens potions that she's currently using to blow up enemies. They have really opened themselves up to some lawsuits and Papa is
Starting point is 01:22:22 taking notes. Richard C. Quaranty, Curtis S. Michael C. and BJL, a ladron of the Feywild who have officially decided that they are moving into the Glade Home Water Park. It's the most impressive body of water they've seen since the Bear Prince's hot tub. Can't blame him. Nikki W. Andrew B. Christopher B. Berenson Kin of the Wizards Tower and Nicholas P. A group of frost-winded orphans who scared away an undead giant by pancing him,
Starting point is 01:22:51 table-topping him, and finally just relentlessly teasing him until he ran back into the tundra. Mercellus, I love it. Kevin M. Angel B. Rahul N. I am the atlas, Mary Bell the Kitty Morphing gnome, and Esmi M. Kinkoo Monks with a street show. These noble folks earn about 20 gold a weekend breaking stuff with their beaks on the Hill Home Boardwalk. Mama Toe Gold is their number one fan. And why wouldn't she be?
Starting point is 01:23:19 That sounds delightful. Jins Christian T. Joe McGee, Meta Amps, Atticus C, Tom S, and Kazamir, the all-knowing. Some super sturdy dwarfs who got sucked into the Jubilix but couldn't be disintegrated. They actually opted to stay because they thought it was so funny to pretend to be frozen like they were stuck in a jello mold. Dwarf humor is weird. Luke H, Kelvin Noodles, Grace G, P. Diddy 985, and Lance, a family of skeletal mice that Erdens Cat chases all around Glade Home. Their hilarious high jinks is an inspiration
Starting point is 01:23:54 and an escape to us all during this bleak period filled with war and death. And that is all the shout outs we have. Thank you all so so much for listening and supporting our show. We love you all and we so much for listening and supporting our show. We love you all and we will see you next week. Farewell!

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