Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 9: The Green Knight and the Bounty Hunter (The Ezry Chronicles with Adam Conover)

Episode Date: April 5, 2018

The party ties up some loose ends in Moonstone, then travels to the magical city of Ezry in hopes of identifying their cursed sword. Beverly earns the nickname "Bubble Boy," Hardwon tastes his first cheeseburger slider, and Moonshine uses her crick charm to enlist the help of a bounty hunter. Adam Conover (Adam Ruins Everything) joins us for three episodes, starting here! (There won't be shout outs at the end of the show this week because we're traveling and scheduled the show ahead of time. Shout outs will resume by Ep. 11 and we'll include the ones we missed the past couple weeks!) Music/Sound Effects include:"Scary Ambiance" by ashleyxxpiano at freesound.org.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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podcast, so be sure to use the code PAPA to get your discount 100% free shipping and get it fast with brush processing. Code P-A-W-P-A-W. Goodbye, Sweeties. Welcome to the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast. Welcome back to Bahumi Everyone. I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Herwitz. Hard one, sure, for it. Emily Axford. Moonshine 7, keeping it cranky. Ha, ha, ha. And called Altana.

Beverly Togel, the best boy of Bahumia. The best boy, yes. And guys, we're going to be joined by Adam Connover for the last two thirds of the show. But first, we're going to wrap things up here in Moonstone, so let's do a recap. So last week, you guys fought the barbarians on top of the roof of the hungry trout in and tavern

and defeated them in the rain. That's one for the singers. It was epic. Papa had his big moment. Moonshine. Papa was such a good boy. He was such a good boy. He scampered off.

Moonshine told him to go get help. He ran off. He found a druid to help you guys. And with his help and with the help of the bard and Mishka, you guys were able to defeat not just any part. Druid by the way. Yes. His name was Pater.

And he is a centaur. Pater. Pater. Pater. Pater. But also we're forgetting a very important moment from that fight, which is hard one going toe to toe with Gresh in defense of the

watch this catchphrase. Oh yeah. And defending it and claiming it for his own. Brothers of the calf battling it out. A battle of egos for sure. So yeah, you guys defeated the barbarians. You retrieved the staff. Moonshine returned it to the bay and all was right.

All was okay in the bay. All was okay in the bay. Oh. But all was not on par at the bar. Does that check out? That's okay. That checks out. Yeah, when you guys went into the bar and you saw that Mishka had been killed, you guys found her amongst a bunch of dead barbarians.

So she clearly went down fighting. Beverly was torn up by her death and had his first beer as you guys all shared a solemn drink in this insane murder scene. So that is where you guys find yourself now. You guys are inside the hungry trout in Intavirant. It is the same night. You guys are just sitting at the bar having a drink while a bunch of druids cast mending spells and clean up the murder scene. I am buzzed and I'm ready to booty show up at Shay's door. Yeah. Yeah.

I do not sleep well. I'm buzzed. Like, I don't know how we sleep after we see what happened to Mishka. I say we go talk to Shay. Beverly is drunk right now. Let's- I have no spells left to impress her This is a stupid idea self-destructive

I'm just a spiraling y'all that's kind of behavior that she sparks She wakes up the worst than us because she's so hot Sorry, you guys going to better you going to Shay's right now? Maybe the alcohol talking But I think we should go talk to that beautiful lady in the grass house. Okay. Yeah, I think we're going to see she. I'm going to finish my second beer and yeah, let's go.

Oh boy. Can I do a search for any kind of wagon or anything that I can bring the keg with us to? Oh my god. Just to let you know, this is probably going to turn people off to you a lot because there are druids in there right now that are like cleaning up. Piaitors kind of trying to be polite and explain. They just saw their friends die. They fought really hard.

They're actually really good people. Okay, we can spin this though. We can spin this. I'm going to say to P.A.T.er, I know that we are touched by the fermented barley right now, but we need to seek some wisdom. Do you mind if while y'all clean? We show up at a super hot druid woman's house and you might not want to call her a super hot druid woman, but and also you probably shouldn't bring a keg, but if you wanted to go, I'm sure she would

be happy to see you. You know what? Why don't you take this little red wagon of ale and take it out to the people around town I think everyone could use a drink. I say we should all take a walk me down, which is where you just pour one to go Yeah, yeah, I'm going to bury our dead You know what you take the walk me down I puke on his hooves Please go that really doesn't need anymore. You don't need any more to drink We're gonna go see on his hooves. Please go. That really doesn't need any more. You don't need any more to drink.

We're gonna go see. Please go. Oh, walk me down. No, walk me down. Please go. Okay, I take out one of those, I take out one of those Marty Groy yard cups. Not good. You guys walk off to the temple to Melora and you see

Chey is out there with some of the Druids and stuff and you see she's comforting the green teens who are probably concerned for you guys. And as you guys approach, you see Erlin shoots up and sees Beverly and goes, Beverly! And he runs over and he hugs Beverly.

I hug him right back. All right. Are you okay, man? I could have saved her. Erlin, I could have saved her. You could have saved who, man. Mishka, she was the super cool dragon fighting have work, and I let her die.

Erlin, he's pretty distraught, and also, he drank a little too much sprite, so just maybe leaving the load for something. Yeah, he's real carbonated. He's gasp. He's crazy. All right, man. You see, Erlin backs up and Shay walks up to you guys,

and she says, I heard about Mishka and the other sp yeah, Shay. I gotta say on any other day. I probably wouldn't hit on you But I would ask that you didn't times our grave. I'm not even gonna try I'm not even gonna try I came here with no spells. I am I'm I'm naked. I'm spell naked We're just through champion warriors at your door asking you to love them. I feel like you you're hitting on me. You said you were gonna hit on me, but hard on. I feel like no chance. Did you bring one for the road? Do you have one for the road?

I did it. It's called a walk me down. Yes, we brought along me down. Really, the alcohol has so little effect on me. Most of it ends up in the beard. You see from inside the temple, Mateo and Scout Master Danny walk out. The Scout Master Danny goes,

oh hey, campers of the light. Is that you? Notice he didn't quite run after that bear when he had me, huh? I want to kill him. I want to kill him. No, it's okay. Hey, we're good. I'm reaching for my hands.

Thank you, snow. We're good. Hey, I'm gonna go back in the temple. I come back in the temple. I follow my knees and I say, Melora, why do you take Mishka but you spare Danny? Whaaam, Laura, why? You hear from inside the temple. I can hear you. Good. You hear from inside the temple. I can hear you Good

Shay, we have a whole bunch of weird magic shit and also we need to rest can we please You're free to rest in the temple and also I'd be happy to talk to you about anything first off Thank you for defending our town. We it would have been lost without you I said I wasn't gonna hit on you and And I'm not. But I am just gonna say that. You don't have to say anything. Just say that. I'm just gonna say that. I wielded a trident.

You should have seen me. If you weren't so drunk and stumbling over your words, I may have been very impressed. But thank you for throwing it back in the bag. Lesser druid might have taken it for their own. You're so nice. You're so nice. Okay.

I'm so sorry. He turns the hard one. You hit on me, but maybe the less, least offensively so far. You mentioned something about some magic items. What? Yeah, so we have, we've got this evil seedling sword. Okay. You tell us what this is.

She looks at it. You've got it wrapped up in some clothes. We said some Wr what this is. She looks at it. You've got it like wrapped up in some clothes We said some Wrangler jeans. She is the Britfarve deep crotch jeans. Oh my Deep crotch high honey. She unravels it and she looks at it and she says Well, I'm not a cleric or a wizard. It would be difficult for me to I'm not a cleric or a wizard. It would be difficult for me to Identify this item, but I can sense a great evil from it and I'm very glad that you are all smart enough not to wield it because It very easily could have driven you mad. I

Look at it. I'm gonna hang on to it. While it's partially on sheath. I kind of at it. Don't let him anywhere near this while he's drunk And also thank you for saving the other green teens, but please don't let this one drink in the future He's a boy. Yeah, no, it was a yeah You really had to be that although I suppose he is to decapitating people and such you know what it's fine Okay, you need to get this sword to a wizard or to a cleric. We can't really help you with that here in Moonstone. Okay. Okay. Well, where would they be? There's no wizard, your clerics here in Moonstone? There are some clerics and... Honestly, we don't got wizards now by the crick. Where do you have to go by the crick?

Mud mages. We got mud gollums. We got mud gollems. They were on a round, we make them, and then they start making their own rules and following their own rules. I was like, oh, sorry, I'm wasting your time. Yes, you absolutely are. The mouth of a creek, you know? On the way up north to Galatoron, there's a small city called Ezri, and they do a lot of arcane research there and they're scientists Oh, yeah, my family has a summer house there. They could identify

Don't flaunt your wealth so much That item. Was there anything else? We have this we've got what seems to be a dragon egg You hold that up and you see her eyes go wide and she says where did you get that? We went to the sunken keep. I think it was the house of some mad man. We saw the puzzle. Yeah. So I believe, I believe it was the house of

a some wealthy noble gone mad with power and this dragon egg was sort of shoved into something that seemed like it was used to hold something else fancy. So this is the spawn of Shadowfang? I believe so. Yeah, it's their daughter. Do you think we should just crack it? And I mean, I don't mean, I don't want to say the A word, but I'm bored.

Well, no, I don't want to seem greedy here, but this town was in a strange way protected when Shadow Fang was here. We were safe from outside invaders, and Shadow Fang was evil and ruled with an iron fist, but if a team of druids could all work together, perhaps we would be able to tame this place. If you raised a nice baby dragon. That's right. Now, chromatic dragons are usually born cruel, selfish, and distrustful.

That is their nature, but perhaps under just the right circumstances, they could be nurtured. Nature versus nurture. To use those instincts for good. I love that, Shay. I really do. We're all super impressed by you, Shay, nurture. To use those instincts for good. I love that, Shay. I really do. We're all super impressed by you, Shay. Yeah.

Real quick, just one downward dog, just so we can check. If you could, tell you what. If I do a downward dog right now, will you give me that dragon? Yeah, you will just let us rest here and lead us in a morning yoga. We will happily leave the dragon. Yeah, hot Pilates, please.

Yeah, some. Can we do a hot, yeah, we'd like a hot rest and then. Hot Pilates, please. Yeah, some... Can we do hot, yeah, we'd like a... A hot, hot... A nice restaurant, then a hot, a hot Pilates. Okay, how about just regular... Hot, regular... Hot, hot Pilates. How about hot breakfast, regular Pilates?

Ha, ha, ha, ha. I could be persuaded. Right. What's in for us if we give you the egg? The, exactly what she just said. The Pilates. The hot Pilates. Okay, that doesn't seem quite equivalent to, you know.

Yeah, but we're, you know, moonstone, I'm on the side of Moonstone. Can we come visit the dragon baby? You can absolutely come visit the dragon baby. Can we name it? But I would also say, young Beverly, you are a green knight and a servant of Polore. You shouldn't have to get anything

in order to give something. She's very drunk. He is right-to-way, so. No, no, she's right. I've acted against Polar in this moment, and it's almost time for me to take my oath of the ancients. I should be thinking better, I should be acting better. Please punish me as you will.

And I prostrate myself. Oh, no, man. She just picks you up under. I swear, Shay, we never do anything. We don't spank him or anything like that. I don't know where he's come from. I don't believe you, but it's okay. She throws Beverly over her shoulder and says, come into the temple, get a good night's rest, and we'll talk again in the morning. I tried a pute, but there's nothing left. Wretch. Beverly wretches. You guys all go to bed and you wake up, and there's nothing left. Wretch. Beverly wretches.

You guys all go to bed and you wake up. And there is a warm breakfast for you. And Shay lead you guys in some morning yoga. So cool. It is literally morning yoga and oh, you are. I'm nervous. And so we're all weeping and hungry. Yeah, we're all weeping.

You guys are doing this in the back of the temple. This is where some of the people are being buried We're wearing black yoga pants. I would like to create a mushroom garden in Moonstone like in like the town square in honor of those that fell So it's like a beautiful mushroom garden like ever all types of mushrooms beautiful go ahead and roll me Just like a raw wisdom or like a religion check, whatever you want. I got a seven.

That's a lot of mushroom garden is fine. The mushroom garden pops up and there are just a couple of bulbous, very gross, very poisonous mushrooms representing those. They might weed those after we left. Okay, I hammer in a little sign, so it's very clear. I say memorial mushroom garden do not eat. Do not eat. Yeah, you try to write rest in peace, but you misspell it and it says peas.

So yep, so they do a little ceremony for all of the dead. You find out that Mishka had requested a Viking funeral. So she goes out onto the bay in a little boat pyre. She says a few words about Mishka. She refers to Mishka as the town's last homegrown hero. I do want to, in the light of the morning, I want to go back and maybe, is it cool if I take Rusty's violin? Sure, you want to take Old Betsy? Old Betsy. I think he probably would have been buried with Old Betsy, but no, no, no, no, no, take a gold tooth from a rash. You get a gold tooth from Gresh.

So, yes, so you guys send Mishka off. You guys bury the bard. They say a few words about the bard. And then after she's talking about the bard, you see Shea turns and all the druids turn. And in a patch of grass behind the temple, there is a single flower growing. And she says, and let us not forget Mother Thistle.

This will actually died several weeks ago. And you hear a few of the fishermen like kind of gasp, but the druids kind of knew it was up. And she says, the druids kept it a secret because we didn't want to show any more weakness while the barbarians were here. And to be honest, I didn't know if you all could handle it. But I think what we've learned here

is that we can endure anything. Rest well, Mother Thistle. And it's quiet. And suddenly you hear a scout master, Denny Pipe, well, Wilp, if we're honored people, then I just like to say a few words. Yeah. I really, is this the goal?

I tried to tug on his on his khaki's hashtag. I should not well like shane. It's done. Shane just says, it's fine. Just let him do it. And Scout Master Denny stands in the front. All right, let's hear it from mother Thistle again. Oh.

Hit it up. Yeah, hit Pippa Raid. All right. Hard one doesn't clap. No, nobody claps. Mother Thistle, egg egg! Oh! Clamp it up! Yep, hip hip hooray. All right! Hard one doesn't clap. No, nobody claps. I begrudgingly clap. There's some polite clapping.

I have a very forced smile on. Smearing of applause. I'd like to say a few words about the green nights. Now the green nights are different than regular paladins. We, like our brothers and sisters in the light, fight for our God, yes, but we also fight for the earth and all its campers. Yeah. That is why the animal relations badge is so important,

so that we can communicate with animals and see how best we can help our furry pals. Beverly, you've already saved your fellow granteens and gotten me out of a lot of legal trouble! So I'm willing to overlook the fact that you've never earned your cooking badge! You just need to prove that you can commune with animals, and I'll induct you into the green nights right here! Right now, are you up to the challenge, Beverly? Oh my gosh! I'm sorry, this is like borderline and sensitive. This is immemorial and Denny just kind of hijacked this.

You hijacked a funeral, man. Break out the ceremony, oh, gong! You turned a eulogy into a contest. He pulls out, he pulls out the gong and he bangs it. The jamboree and his back on everyone! Colloucalae! Colloucalae! All right, I can get into a Calu-calay.

Calu-calay, y'all. Where death is laid foul, so too may flowers grow. That is why we celebrate in these more-and-full days. Oh, that's true, that's true, circle left. I just don't like the denny leaves anything. Yeah, me too. Did we rest it, right? Oh yeah, so I got my spell slots back, huh?

I'm going to, yeah, I'm going to use talk to animals. Cool. There's a few deer around some birds and there's also. There's a little bow jangles. There's also, there's also papa. Uh oh. Oh shit. Yeah, it's got to be papa.

I cast Speak with Animals. Uh, and I turn to papa and I say, hi. I think he's talking to me. Hey. Papa, it's me Beverly. How's it goin'? So Beverly kind of takes center stage, looks right at Papa.

His eyes glow green and Papa, not used to this, not used to being able to understand what people are saying. Papa turns his head at you and goes, I know, are you good down out here? How you doin'? Oh my gosh. Oh wow, you're very energetic.

Oh yeee. Yeee. Thank you. I just wanted to say thank you for all your help for finding Pieter and for just assisting us in all the ways. Oh horse man, I like the horse man. Yeah. Ha.

You're just like five Jonas, huh? C-S-E-C, Scoutmaster Danny says, well, I wasn't in on that conversation, but it sounds right to me. Congratulations, Beverly. All right. Everyone, cheers. Scoutmaster Danny starts bowing.

Yeah. You know that. I believe that. I take out new Betsy, and I start playing start bowing. Yeah. You know that. I played that. All right. I take out new Betsy and I start playing a fiddle in honor. You start playing a fiddle song. The Jamboreen starts. They hit the ceremony.

Oh, should the Jamboreen. The Jamboreen's on. They start cooking the feast of pavor. Everyone starts to get. I'll have a twirl in a circle with Erlin. Yeah, there's tossing up and catching up. I do want to help with the feast to prove that even though I didn't get my cooking badge, I'm up to the challenge.

Oh, come back into the kitchen with me. Yeah, we're back in the kitchen. I got every burner going. Moonshine and Beverly go back. They make a jumble-eye for everyone. We got jumble-eye. We got gumbo. We got pie.

We got chowder. Everyone is in the freshly cleaned, hungry trout in a cellar braiding. Everybody's drinking. Everybody's having fun. It's the feast of Poloar. Hard one is river dancing. Hard one is having a fantastic time river dancing. Munchine is a socket,

she's in the kitchen. Munchine's like feeding her little spoons, being like, how's that taste? It's actually for being bullywog legs. It's actually pretty good. That's good, right? You see, after the feast, Denny wheels out. Green scale male.

And for our new Junior Green Knights, I would like to award Beverly Togold with getting to see his Scout Master wear a brand new set of armor. And he goes and he starts putting it on. I have checked in. Just kidding, you all, just kidding. I'll just get all the data from the guy. I'll just get all the data from the guy. All right, no, you are a craving for your shit.

OK. Beverly, as your co-scoutmaster, moonshine want to come out here. OK, oh, yep. Wipe my saucy hands off my apron. Let's present the kid with his brand new. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, my gosh. You have to say the green nights plate.

OK. I'm going to rip the scroll from his hand. All right, so I give you guys, he gives you guys pieces of paper. Here you guys go. This is the green nights plate. If you guys could all read it in unison to induct Beverly into the green nights.

One, two, three. The green nights fight with all their might. And there no slight, we make things right. But should the nights blight dim our sight? We'll smile that fight with the light so bright. Calu Calais! Calu Calais! Everyone cheers.

You now have scale mail. Your AC goes up by one. Oh shit, you're AC's 19. It's damn cool. Maybe it's beautiful. The Venice. I think in a private moment, I do pick up the amulet of Pellor. And I make a solemn promise to Pellor in this moment as well.

Beautiful. You feel Polar's light shining on the sun. I'm just going around. I'm just going around making sure everyone got fed. I'm going around to any skinny people being like, you should eat a little more. Take a little more. I'm eating a lot because I'm definitely still hung over. The feast wraps up. It becomes nights. They make a big bonfire and everyone's sitting around the bonfire. Danny's trying to tell stories, but Shay kind of just juts him up and pushes him to the side. I pen a quick, well no, I don't pen it. I dictate a quick no pop-off pen,

that to Danny kindly requesting that he retire from any job that involves him influencing children. I'll sign it. You guys sign by heart rate. You guys pass it around all of the fishermen sign it and everything and Danny looks at it and he goes, yep, well, pretty much unanimous, huh? Maybe I'll just stick around here and be a tour guide.

Yes, that will be, well. You really should, as long as all of the people you give tours to aren't teens, how about there needs to be another adult present? Yeah, that's it. I like that. Wow, that sounds bad, huh? Yeah, your tours sounds destined to fail, so I'll find one. Oh boy.

Oh, Scott Master Diny, before you are banned from the green teens forever, I need to know, what should my next move be? What do I need to do to become a full-fledged green knight? Beverly? I gotta be honest, kid, you're better at this than I am! Uh, huh. I don't know. So you saying I should follow my own heart?

Oh, actually, I was supposed to give this to you. Uh, it's a note from your dad. I was supposed to give it to you when you graduated. Oh, shoot! Oh my gosh! Huh, yeah, this is just sigil for sure. I-I-I carefully unpeel the wax sigil, preserving it so that I can, you know, add it to my collection. I I I carefully unpeeled the wax sigil preserving it so that I can you know add to my collection and I read it out loud Put it up with a tooth

Everly congratulations you've done an adequate job. Okay now hurry home to Galatoron the king is naming a new high septum in two weeks Your mother would be disappointed if you weren't there that sounds like mother regards father oh geez I got to get back to Galator on you got some cold upbringing no this is pretty this is pretty good that's cool yeah that's true you know what can't you bless it yeah on a on a I guess on a spectrum that's pretty good let's get this tiny night to Galator on and we passed through Esri on the way. And ask about that sword. Okay, cool.

We'll spend the night in Ezri. Would you guys, as my scout master, is a company back home? Yes, I feel very invested in getting you and these other little liabilities home. As strangers, you are my only two friends. I know where else to go. Wait, you don't have friends back at the mountain?

I have. Did something happen at the mountain? What are you running for? No, I just, I got, I really out grew the mountain. I have an X, but it's a whole thing. Oh, it's a whole thing. So you left because of a girl? It's not, yeah.

I had a tough break up. I guess that's the thing. I don't really bad break up. Wow, usually adventurers have a way bigger, way more exciting backstory, but just left, because of a girl. Shay approaches you guys, as you guys are talking, and she says, would you guys like to be here

when we hatch the egg? Assuming you're okay with moonstone keeping the egg. Oh, I can. You guys could definitely keep the egg. Yeah, you guys can, as long as we can come back and sort of be like fun aunts and uncles that show up every once in a while and bring it to us. And we do get to name it.

You do get to name it. I was gonna suggest that. I think we should name it. I'm moonshine. I was actually hoping that you would be able to help us. Yeah. Because we're going to have to wrangle this thing. It's going to be nuts.

Oh, I know. This is going to be crazy. This is going to be crazy. Yeah, we will all need to wrangle. If you need to help wrangle, and you came to the right chick. So moon shine and the other druids, you guys see P.A. Ter and Mateo. Mateo stands there. See, she kind of moves Mateo to be like more towards the back. He might not be as good of a druid as he was being. I love, I just want to help this dragon. So please stand back. Please stand back. Let's be a turd.

He was bad. He's just don't listen to that. Yeah, she makes, she makes rooms so that Mateo can stand back in moonshagon kind of filling in this, and all of the druids stand around this fire. Hard one, would you like to place the egg into the fire? Sure, I toss my beard over my shoulder, so it doesn't catch. Catch, good. I'm gonna walk to the fire, place the egg gingerly on top. Place egg gingerly on top,

badly burning yourself for how close you get to the fire. That's fine. Just out there. Ah, just's fine. Just out there. Just real hot. You guys see the egg moves fitfully and vibrates until finally this little black dragon hatchling bursts from the shell with a loud screech. It takes flight with awkward, unsure wings and it dips into attack the crowd.

When suddenly you see all of the druids eyes turn green and you see the dragon stop as if being held in place by like an invisible hand. It turns to shea, her eyes going green with power and she holds her hands up to it inviting it. They're in an intense stare down as she and all of the druids focus all of their energy on to it The dragon hashling flutters and screeches with fury in her face her forehead is tense with veins bulging

You see the other druids are also tense. Mochai, why don't you go ahead and give me like a spell attack? Oh as you're helping with this I got a not one Roll advantage roll advantage I got a not one. Roll advantage. Roll advantage. Oh, I got a not one again. Holy shit, did you just roll two ones in a row? That is insane.

Oh no. This dragon turns to moonshine and lets out an acid breath attack. Give me a dexterity saving throw. Whoa. What? What? No way! Did you just roll a third one? at the tack. Give me a dexterity saving throw. Whoa. Wow! Why, no way! Dude, you're a little third.

What? That's a good, go back to the gift dice. Go back to the gift dice. Immediately. This is absolutely insane. I thought this was just flavor, but this thing is gonna fuck you up. Okay, you and Mateo get hit with

For 13 damage okay hit with 13 damage Beverly and hard one you guys need to get involved What do you guys do to I am? That I could jump up and try to grab it. I mean, yeah That is a 16 okay., what did you get? It's a 16 plus animal handling, which is three, so 19. Dole. I got grab his legs and try to be a little bit more. Okay, okay.

Okay, yeah, so he only rolled seven on his athletics. So this dragon just breathed this crazy acid breath down onto Moonshine. He rolled three ones in a row, insane. This was supposed to be a cut scene, but some things just can't be helped. She's being attacked hard one and Beverly tackle the dragon as Beverly starts to pet it.

It's okay. moonshine, you're able to regather yourself. Yes, I'm coming for you. You focus, you focus your energy. All of the druids focus their energy. And finally finally the dragon comes down to the point that it just is just like nipping people instead of trying to kill them. He's just exploratory nipping just like biting at people.

That's regular little paw paw style. You see paw paw runs up and starts biting at the dragon. They start biting at each other, they start wrestling and she turns you guys and says, well, that was insane. Shit, that guy should have to us all the time. I try and blame it on Mateo. I'm telling you Mateo was off script back there. That's right.

You know what, he doesn't read. He's that insane? I imagine not being able to read. I can read, he just chooses not to. I can read, I just don't like to Yeah, that was all material. I was just in the line of sight. What would you like to name the dragon? Papa Papa to Papa to So we're not gonna honor the dead Mishka. Oh, I think you know what? I think we're gonna name it old Beverly

That's all it do. Old Beverly, I like that. What about Mishka Beverly Paw Paw the second? Oh, wait, I'm a Mishka Beverly Paw Paw the second. I think that's a great name. Mishka Beverly Paw Paw the second. It's perfect. I don't, there wasn't a first. We got too many people to honor.

The second of his name. Which I'm how? It's the second Beverly. Well, technically the third Beverly. Okay, sorry, repeat the name again. Michigan Beverly Paw Paw the Second. All right, everyone, the dragon's name is Michigan Paw Paw Beverly the Second.

You kind of regret letting us name the dragon. I, you know what? We might just change the name after you guys leave. I just hope on our travels that we can find a keychain that says Michigan Beverly Paw Paw the Second on it. We'll bring it back as it gives. Yeah, exactly. Oh, yeah Well, I'm sure you need to be on your way, but we'll miss you. Be sure to come back to moonstone. Hey Can somebody heal our girl real quick? Yes, absolutely. Yeah since since Mateo's Shit got me a tour. P.H.er says you can call me P.U. Tree if you would like

And he cured I'm sorry. Is thereR. says, you can call me P.T.R. if you would like. And he'll cure. I'm sorry. Is there a difference between what you say? And I said, I could swear I'm saying. He heals you back up to full. You're good. Thank you, P.T.R. Cool. Now, can we ride out of here on Bojang Bullseye.

On the triangles. You gave us a dragon. You can have Bojang. And you're a few fishermen go. Oh, Wilson is there. He's the mayor. And you hear a few fishermen go, aww. Wilson is there. He's the mayor. And he's going to run for president. We'll give you boat jangles and a couple other horses.

You've more than earned to that. Hell yeah. So you guys take your horses? Yep. And you ride off. Guys, we're going to take a little break. And then we're going to be joined by Adam Conover. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs.

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we promise you. Okay, that's it for me, go team pants, and enjoy the show. Welcome back everyone. We've got our first guest, Adam Conover. Oh my gosh, hello. Hello Adam. I'm excited to be here. True story about me. Can I just open it with this? Please. True story about me as a teenager. I owned hundreds of dollars with the RPG books. I bought like D&D and like the dark the whatever the white wolf games and everything I bought I bought all the books. I had no friends so I never played I would buy RPG games never played a game of D&D until I was like in my late twenties and

It still It allows me to live out my the childhood. I never had so I'm very excited to be here We're so happy to have you the childhood I never had. So I'm very excited to be here. Ah! Yeah, that's the, we're so happy to have you. The Dungeon Ears dilemma, as they call it. Look, it's really hard to put together a game if none of the other kids like you. They don't wanna spend six hours at your house. Especially when you were a kid,

that was probably like 3.5 or like, was it advanced such as a dragon? It was such an addition. Jesus. Yeah, it was second addition. Oh my God. That's frustrating. I just had a lot of fun reading in advance, such as the Dragons? Second edition. Jesus. Yeah, it was second edition. Oh my God. I just had a lot of fun reading the books and looking at the pretty pictures.

Yeah, that would be a tough sell for good friends. Yeah. Second edition. That's a tough sell. It was a lot. Cool, so we're gonna meet, nobody knows what Adam's character is except for me and Adam.

It's our little secret. So you guys have not met Adam's character yet, but you guys are on your way up to go later on to go visit a Bebs family, passing through Ezri. This time. The war and on the noble back of Bojangles. The Mayor Horse. The Mayor Horse.

He's a mayor and a mayor. He's writing Bojangles. Which one of those Bojangles? Bojangles, I've wild-shaped into a horse and Bojangles is writing me. That's how Bojangles travels. Insane. And I'm writing on Emily who a horse and Bojangles is riding me. That's how Bojangles is. He's incredible. Insane. And I'm riding on Emily, who's riding on Bojangles.

Are we no, no, no. Oh, moonshine. Sorry. Who entirely stupid. I don't know these. He's so stupid. Cool. Guys, let's meet Adam, huh?

Yeah. So you guys also leveled up. You guys leveled up at the end of moonshine stones. You guys are all level four as you arrive. Let me give you guys a little bit of background on Esri. So Esri is a small city and a hub for arcane research and experimentation. During the war against Osmodeus, a scientist from the city of Esri named Professor Dutdle developed a way to produce synthetic eldritch nights by injecting soldiers with the blood

of wild magic sorcerers giving normal fighters access to innate arcane abilities. Yo, this is some sci-fi shit. Yeah, that seems normal and good. Unfortunately, once word got out, that they were producing super soldiers, Esri quickly became a popular target of the dark army. But with the help of Alonus, the legendary elf wizard, Esri's scientists developed a force-field bubble

to protect the city center and their research. The city continued to produce synthetic eldritch nights that proved integral in the war against osmodeus. But now, the city is in a crisis. While many of the synthetic eldritch nights were killed in battle, the ones who weren't slowly saw their powers fade away and became ill. A drug form of the synthetic wild magic was developed to treat those addicts with smaller dosages, but this quickly led to abuse and even more dangerous street versions of the drug.

Now, paranoid wild magic users roam out of the desert, and an ambitious drug dealer is its unofficial ruler. Meanwhile, those lucky enough to live within the arcane bubble are either blissfully ignorant to the outside danger or racing to find a solution. This is class that come in like that, that come in home disorder, you know, it's tough, it's tough. Yeah. Oh yeah, you say were, yeah, they have PTSD

and now they're gonna come home and become alcoholics and drug addicts. And the city is run by a drug lord. The like outer edge of the city, it's kind of like mob rule basically. So we got a, this is a dome city is what by a drug lord. The outer edge of the city. It's kind of like mob rule basically. So we got to, this is a dome city, is what you're saying. Rich people in this town literally live in a bubble. Hell yeah.

The metaphor is not subtle. Moonshine is of the people. She isn't going to that bubble. She's gonna go on the outskirts and talk to people and whip up a pot of jumble live for the peasants. Cool, that might be tough to do, let's get into it. So you guys, as you approach... I'm definitely gonna get attacked the second I take

out my slotted spoon. Also, you guys are going to Esri to meet with the magic scientist, so you guys can find out what's up with the sword. We have the sword. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, as you guys approach the outskirts of the city, you can already see the city center in the distance.

There are four high rising arches that surround it. The buildings inside, the center itself, are blurred by the effects of the arcane force field. This is the bubble. In the outer circle where you guys are right now, there are no big buildings, just small homes and businesses. Many of them derelict or boarded up either because they're abended

or because the people inside don't want anyone to get in. The city does not have a lot of foot traffic, but you do see a few groups of ruffians hanging out, a shambling madman yelling at no one in particular, and a few regular people head down going about their business. So you guys get to the city gates and you see two guards in like beat up breastplates,

and they're just talking to each other. They're paying you guys no mind as you approach on your horses. In the distance, you hear explosions and yelling, and the guards don't react. They just keep talking to each other. Y'all, I hate to say it, but something's shitty in this city. Hey!

Wow, I'm so crude yet so poetic. Yeah, I'm gonna see you in history. Can I ask these guards what, hey, what's going on, and why aren't you guys concerned? What, what do you, hey, there was an explosion. Hey, yeah, no, there's explosions all the time. Yeah, there's fucking mad, man. I don't know, man, do you want to fight them? I don't want to fight them.

We're, we're travelers. We're not quite familiar with the multitude of explosions going on in your fair city. Could you let us know? Why are there explosions? Yeah, I'm watching you. First question. You see they take one look at you Beverly this Gold toad boy. Yes, and they say That's not a manicure. You look like a bubble boy. All right. Why don't you put your head down and just make your way? Yeah, how many people we've killed in the last 30 days.

And how savagely we've done it. I'm telling you what, we ain't exactly putting our hands over people's mouths and giving them a peaceful death. All right. Well, since you threatened me, in a way, look, all right, you hear more explosions and yelling. And he goes, oh, there's this drug. It's called arcane.

There's street versions of it that are super dangerous. The people who get the bad stuff, you know, they turn into crazy wild magic sorcerers, yada, yada, yada. They're out there blowing stuff up. There's some guy getting wrangled right now or something, I don't know, he's shooting fire or whatever. What is he shooting, Ray? And you see the other guy. He looks out and goes,

I'm just like some kind of fireball. Okay. So this is just running rampant in your city. So this is... Oh yeah. No, yeah. What are you even doing at the gate? Technically, we're doing a job, but we only get paid like five silver a day. So... Do you want to like check our passports or something? I just... Look, can I send on a go scurry up the wall And then report back to me what he sees over the wall pop off scurries up a building and pop off scurries back

Are you gonna cast speak with animals? No, I just go Use your charades See he pretends to be a big buff guy He's walking around. He's walking around making serious face He pretends to be a big buff guy. He's walking around. He's walking around making serious things. Y'all, there is some beef cake on the other side as well. Murphy, did we rest during our journey,

or was this a one day thing? Oh yeah, no, you guys were on the road for a couple days. Okay, so we're back at full of the color slots. Oh yeah, you got all your slots. You got all your slots? You got your slots. I have one additional question for you, the DM. Yes. Is arcane spelled a dumb way? Oh yeah, dude, you got all your you got your slots. You got your slots. I have one additional question for you the DM. Yes Is arcane spelled a dumb way? Oh, yeah, dude. You know it is our

Period space cane capitalized see It's ar can ar can This is Adam's character Dealer Adam's a bad guy you guys want another game I want to ask up I I talked to the guards one more time okay Ray was it You Ray turns around he was the other guy. Yeah, what, what? Hi Beverly Toggle, the fifth, very nice to meet you. Cool, all right, what's up, bubble boy? That's a, that's a heartful nickname.

I, I was wondering, we have an item here, and we're just trying to get it appraised. We're wondering who we might want to talk to. Yeah, no, it's just something we picked up at a flea market of knowing for what's over there. Oh, that, that sword. What's the word, no, no. Did Beverly show him the sword? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, sword. Yeah, no, no.

Did Beverly show him the sword? No, no, no, no. I just had a cloak. Yeah, it's going to go. What do you got? What do you got there? It's a cloak. Dude, why do you care?

Just tell us what you do. I don't give a shit about a cloak. We got a cool coin. I get a cool coin. I want to know if it is. I don't know. I hold up the. I don't know where it's from.

Murf, I hold up the amulet of Pellar. He looks at it. It is made of platinum. And he goes, oh, well, yeah, I held up the the amulet of Pellar. He looks at it. It is made of platinum and he goes oh Well, yeah, I'll take that. I'll take a look at that. No I would feel more comfortable if I could hold on to it We're just more wondering if you know what I think we're just gonna walk past you. I think that would be a good idea Okay, all right. I tip my hat to you, but I don't think you tip it back. Fuck you. That's kind of what I was saying, but with...

He gives you guys the finger. How did I stay? I cast my chill touch, middle finger. Give them a little finger. Ray flips you off as well. They don't even notice the horse riding a horse. Yeah, they really should be impressed.

Cool city, cool city so far. OK, yeah, let's go in. I think we should prepare for the worst. Yeah. Let's go in. You walk into the city. You see an imposing figure in a hooded cloak, and he's being attacked by a mad man,

possessed with wild magic, whipping bolts of fire. The figure dodges. The magic definitely reaches the man, bashes him with the butt of his weapon, it looks like a big staff, like a lance. The sounds of explosions and arcane energy suddenly stop, and the madman is knocked out, falling to the ground. The imposing figure picks him up, slings him over his shoulder,

starts walking towards the city center. What? Hey! Hey, hey! Adam! Do you hear some people yelling behind you? Oh, I keep I keep walking. Oh shit Just keeps walking yeah sir sir where excuse me

I'm just a kindly Crick woman looking for some hospitality outside the creek Sir might I find it in your bosom? I turn and look at them by I was turning the who the hell are these people? You guys see this big imposing orc. Oh, shit. Yeah. This batman. I'm an orc baby. Oh, good.

He's wearing like black plate. He kind of looks like Batman mixed with Donatello. That's very good. That's dope. Sir, are you some kind of bounty hunter? Uh, yes, I am. Or sort of like a rogue police officer? I am a bounty hunter.

Uh, uh, why do you inquire? Well, uh, honestly, we're looking for safe passage into the heart of this city and it seems like the climate here is a bit complicated. I would like to approach the org, uh, and I hold up my signet ring and say like, hello there, um, my name's Beverly, and I'm up my signet ring and say like, hello there, my name's Beverly and I'm a bubble boy and I am, I've got business in the center of the city

and you seem like you know your way around, could you help me and my friends, my two scout masters here, I'll find our way in, there's going to be a green teen popluck in the center of the city and we are a little bit late. I don't even know if Beverly thinks he's lying. I'm just gonna sidle up behind Beverly. Hey man, look, we got this evil sword that we need to take.

We gotta take it in the center of the city. I kind of disdicted we trust each other. Okay, so I think that these are some unhinged vagrants because they all come up and say different things I've never heard of before once shattered about an evil sword how about this I know it'll make you more comfortable do you like to imbibe sir depending on the year of the vintage yes well have you ever tried a nice vintage crick water it's water. It's caffeinated in alcohol. It's sort of like for loco. My interest is is

peaked. I dig out a little flask and I and I'm like you don't drink it you just kind of huff it. I sniff it. What is it? What does it smell like? What is it actually? You're already a little drunk. Smelling it. Smelling it. I'm very impressed. So you see we're we're the real deal. Do you do you make this substance? Well, I got a bunch of flasks in my satchel, but I also like if I sweat too much it's crick water still even though I've been gone from the Crick for a while so you don't want to ask any more questions about it If you if you provide me with a dozen flaggans of this of Of this fine Potion I will bring you across the border and nothing more you got it

A moonshine rifles through our satchel pulling out just dirty clothing It just leaving it on the glass. Oh, God, I'm revolting. She does this for a good hour and a half. Has everyone just sits there and waits. I'm sitting for the guy. The guy wakes up, you butt him again, he goes back down. I guess while she's pulling out the flask, I go up to the orc and say,

what is your name, Fair Traveler? Nice to meet you, my name is Stunkbug. Your first name is Stunkbug. My only name. My only name is Stunkbug. May I call you? It is a bit of an embarrassment, but is the name my mother gave me.

I see. May I call you, Senior Stunk? I ask that you please do. It's very... She often doesn't listen. It's very... She often doesn't listen. It's very nice to meet you, Mr. Bug. That's okay.

Okay, Mr. Bug. I snored slightly, but I'm like, that's okay. You can call me Mr. Bug. Could you please lead us into the city time of the essence? I've got to meet my parents soon. Okay, just... Don't embarrass me. Let's go. I'll be on my best face.

So you guys start walking. As you guys approach this arcane bubble, you see that the inside of the bubble is still just as blurry as when you were far away, and when you touch it, it's hard as a rock. But you see Stingbug, was it? Stingbug. Stingbug.

God damn it. This is what happens when you don't run names by me before I start. I was, to you. I was talking to you. It's a duck bug. His name is goddamn stunk bug. Stunk bug. There's nothing I can do about it.

AKA Senior Stunk. No, please do not call me Senior Stunk. Mr. Bug is okay. Stunk bug is okay. But Seniors, you gotta draw the line somewhere. So you see he's got this big blue gauntlet, holds up his hand, clenches his fist, turns blue with arcane energy, and you guys are able

to put your hands on him, and he takes you guys into the bubble. Is it like a teleportation field? It feels just like walking through an open doorway. So you guys see that immediately that inside the bottle is a whole different world. The buildings are beautiful, Elven and Noemish architecture, all delicate, quirky and magical.

The streets are spotless. You actually see as soon as you guys walk in an enchanted broom starts cleaning the path behind you guys. Oh, wow. Oh, a broom, but we have one of those in my house. He's greedy fucking nobles. I know you say that, but then you're also like, I could get used to this.

Don't forget where you came from. So how long have you worked for the interdome? How long have you been in there inside the dome for about a year now? Okay, yeah. Murph, I imagine I'd be pretty familiar with like, Ezri, I've probably been here before. Yeah, I think I did mention that my parents

have a townhouse here. Yes, we do. Summerhouse. Summerhouse, yeah. Oh, a rich kid. OK, you are a bubble boy. I'm a bubble boy. I don't like that nickname because when I was a little kid in kindergarten, I was blowing bubbles

and some mean bullies made me drink the entire bottle of bubbles. So it has bad connotations for me. But. Yeah, and yet you braced it real quick. Well, you know, it's helping us get inside. So we're all swallowing our pride a little bit. Well, it's wonderful. It's wonderful to live inside.

I used to live outside, but now I live inside it. It's much nicer in here. Oh my. You mean the transition. So congratulations to you on your upward progress. Thank you. We're looking to find an appraisal of sorts. We've got a few items that we want to get checked out.

It's just some run of the Mill family are alums of mine. Okay, well, if these are magical items, I have a great fonts of arcane knowledge. And so I could perhaps help you out. Oh, so you might. Perhaps we should get like a nice seat somewhere. So we're not doing this in the middle of the street. Yeah, is there, can we go back to your place?

Uh, why don't I take you to neutral territory? Like, you know, a public place where I'm not gonna take those a little forward. It's a little, we've known each other for 10 minutes, or I blow it like this all the time, but you didn't to my home. So you have this guy, usually you bring your wild magic addicts to the police barracks,

then the police captain delivers them to the city rehab herself. Okay, so you have that. You also, the other places in town that you would kind of know of, you know of this place called the Blue Manna in in Tavern, which is kind of this fancy tavern that has a like air elemental that makes drinks, so it looks like all the drinks are floating and stuff and it's magic. Cool. It's very posh and then you also have you know of Professor Duttle who has his laboratory inside. I cannot wait to hear Professor

Duttle's voice. I have to drop. I have to drop this fine fellow off at the police barracks. If you want to meet me later at Professor Duttles I will introduce you and you know he can handle whatever things you need done. In the meantime, if you need someplace to chill out, I suggest the blue mana, you must try the drinks. It is incredible. This place, the air elemental bartender will blow your mind.

I'm not kidding. You gotta check it out. What did they do? Did I do tapas? So many tapas. So many tapas. Nothing but tapas. So many Tappas. All share plates. Nothing but Tappas.

The cook would rather kill himself than serve a large plate. You will get so full on apps. Don't even ask Dona a brunch there. My God. Thank you so much. You're welcome. Thank you. Definitely beyond root to Blue Man.

I call Tappas regular food. Oh my. Oh my God. Oh're welcome. You're welcome. Thank you, I'm so happy to be here. Thank you so much. You're welcome. Thank you, I'm so happy to be here. Thank you, I'm so happy to be here. Thank you, I'm so happy to be here. Thank you, I'm so happy to be here. Thank you, I'm so happy to be here. Thank you, I'm so happy to be here. Thank you, I'm so happy to be here.

Thank you, I'm so happy to be here. Thank you, I'm so happy to be here. Thank you, I'm so happy to be here. Thank you, I'm so happy to be here. Thank you, I'm so happy to be here. Thank you, I'm so happy to be here. Thank you, I'm so happy to be here. Thank you, I'm so happy to be here.

Thank you, I'm so happy to be here. Thank you, I'm so happy to be here. Thank you, I'm so happy to be here. Thank you, I'm so happy to be here. Thank you, I'm so happy to be here. Thank you, I'm so happy to be here. Thank you, I'm so happy to be here. Thank you, I'm so happy to be here. Thank you, I'm so happy go with Mr. Bogg just so that we don't totally lose track of him. Okay, so you don't agree to let you follow me, but I can't stop you either. I'm very interested in the law enforcement procedures here. Do you mind if I come with you? You know, it's a free country.

It's like kicking a dog saying no to Beverly. It's actually not that's a monarchy So that's not technically true, but I'll still come with you scouts. Yeah, I need to break from that kid I'm gonna go to the blue monitor. This is why you don't have kids. Yeah, I'll go to the bloom bloom in a I'm gonna send pop-up with Beverly though. Okay. Yeah, so yeah pop-up can come back and alert us You see a rabbit little possum crawl up onto Beverly shoulders. Oh, that's what pop up is Emily do you want to give me like a little mushroom? Yeah, I'm gonna give you I'm gonna put my put my hand on you Are my tussle your hair and you don't know it but I'm leaving some spores in there Oh, right. I can get a sense on you. So to you right now stunk bug

It just looks like this little boy has so much dandruff. It seems pretty hard. It seems pretty hard. A little possible. I use a dry shampoo. It doesn't always work. But he still cleans himself way more than Moonshine does. What are you talking about?

I'm taking a bath right now. Yeah, you do think puddles are bad. Moonshine is just taking a bath in public. You're just pouring cream. Oh God. Okay, let's just go. Okay, I'm going to the barracks. Great. I am going.

I am walking. You do what you want. Stunkbug. God damn it. Stunkbug and Beverly take off to the barracks. Moonshine and hard one go to the blue mana and tavern. We'll start with Stunkbug and Beverly. Hooray!

Stunkbug and Beverly. You guys get to the barracks. You see it looks like a small heavily militarized castle that shaped like a square and there are four tower structures at each corner. Around the barracks are what are called the bubble knights. They're essentially the city watch whose jurisdiction is within the bubble. They wear this beautiful dark blue plate armor and they've got this charismatic magical glow.

Are they human? Are they like, they're all different kinds of races. But they're people, they're not like constructs. Right, they're not constructs. They are cased in bubbles or anything. You're just called bubble nights. They're just called bubble nights because they work in the bubble.

Gotcha, got it. Bubble nights, bubble bubble bubble night. That's it. They have just called bubble nights because they work in the bubble. Gotcha. Got it. Bubble nights. Bubble bubble bubble night. They have to have a thief somewhere. Yeah, do they have big butts? Yeah, some of them. Sure. Bubble night is my favorite. Now, let me roll. Let me roll for how many out of 20 have big butts. That's a one. Only one. No, no, no. No, no. Perfect. Now you just ask. Bubble night. Bubble bubble a perfect nice ass. Just a nice, bubble bubble bubble bubble.

Huge, nice wink at him. He pretends not to see you. See you guys walking to this barracks. You've got this dude over your shoulder. You pop him down to the desk sergeant and he goes, another one's stunk bug. All right, he yells to guards around. He says, all right, let's put the suppressor on for now.

Captain Oswald will want to take this guy over later. And as the desk sergeant's dealing with you, you see Lieutenant Bricker, who is this dwarf woman with a full mustache. She's this by the book's cop, who you have like a rivalry with because you're a bounty hunter. Hello, Bricker. Stunk Bug.

Renegade. Bringing more of your trash in here. Is that right? The same speech every time, Bricker. I'm just trying to do my job as a bounty hunter for the Bubble City. I don't... I don't like the cut of your jib, Stunk Bug. You know there's a reason there's a rule book. Okay, you can't just throw it out. Oh, I like her. You know, I'm just as God made me, ma'am. I can't, I can't change my ways.

Hi, I'm Beverly. Shut up, shut up. You mind if I interview you? I'm trying to get my law enforcement patch. Cut, damn it. Now, see, here's a kid who's got his head on straight. All right, Will. Captain Oswald wants to talk to you, Stunk Bug. I'll talk to this kid. OK, I pull out of a pad, and I guess it would be like a stylus

of some sort, and I start taking notes. You two seem made for each other, so I hope you have a nice time. a pad and I guess it would be like a stylus of some sort and I'd start taking notes. You two seem made for each other. So I hope you have a nice time. Luke, Tenant Bricker talks to you about how important the rules are. I agree. Thanks.

Talks about how bounty hunters are of renegades and you can't trust them. Oh, paladins. Trust is a powerful tool. Stunk Bug, you go back into Captain Oswald's office. It's got this oak desk covered in papers and scrolls. There are candles magically hovering in the corners of the room, giving it a soft glow.

Captain Oswald is this tall, elven woman with bright yellow hair, gleaming with magical energy. She wears the same dark blue armor as the other bubble nights. You see, as soon as you walk in, she closes the door behind you and you guys are in this room by yourselves. And she says sexual tension is cracking. Oh man. Yeah, some of it could

happen in here. Some of the candles start crackling a little harder, possibly feeding off the arcane sexual energy. There's an attraction. It's never sexual energy. There's just an attraction, it's never been spoken. There's just an attraction. You haven't had sex until you've had magic sex. It's different. So she turns to you and she says, we've got to lead an arc eye.

There's an underground fight ring happening in the basement of the bone and barrel. You know the bone and barrel as being this sort this rough neck bar that's in the outer rim of the city, the Mos Eisley Cantina, and she says, apparently, one of the brawlers tonight is one of Skullis's guys, so there's a good chance he'll be there. All right, then I'll be there, too. All right, just be careful. I can't hold myself responsible

for what I do when I see Skullis considering what he did to my brother. Woo! I understand, Stunkbuck. But you're not gonna be able to get your revenge if you just start a fight with him out in the open and a bar. I know, I know.

That bar is crawling with his men. Make sure if you do anything, there's not too many people around. Ugh. I knock on the door and say, do you know where the bathroom is? Ha ha ha. Why don't you get going? Okay, I don't know who that is.

Okay. Who's, did you, are you, Mr. Bog, it's me Beverly. Is it bringing your hafling to wool work day? Like, I don't know who this kid is. Anyway, as always, this conversation never happened. Of course, are you, Mr. Bog, it's me Beverly. Is it bringing you're hafling to wool work day? Like I don't know who this kid is. Anyway, as always, this conversation never happened. Of course, thank you. Thank you. Okay, I didn't hear it.

I, I, I linger and try to get her gaze for an extra moment. Okay. You see she kind of looks at you, considered it for a second, and then looks away. You should go. I'll, I'll, I'll see, I'll see you. I, I can't think of anything cool to say, and I leave. I try to say so that it's smooth and I bail.

Stunk fuck me, opens the door, Beverly's right there. God, Kibbit. Hi, who's that? A friend, I slammed the door. That great. Huh, you looked at her for a long time. I slammed the door. That great. Huh, you looked at her for a long time.

Yeah, well, you need to use your eyes to see things that you want to, if you want to know where they are. That's exactly what Lieutenant Breaker said. You see, Lieutenant Breaker rounds the corner, well, well, well. If it's not the bounty hunter, we just did this like five minutes ago. You're a cutthroat stunk bug and I don't like it.

It's literally the same speed. A privateer, a pirate. Why don't you take your gold and go and she throws you 10 gold. I'll get that. Thank you. Kind of discriminatory. You just throw in it at me.

Well, it's in a little pouch. Okay, I pick it up from the ground. I say thank you. Thank you, kind of discriminatorally just throwing it at me. Well, it's in a little pouch. Okay, I pick it up from the ground. I say thank you. Thank you very much. You're welcome. I wasn't expecting you to say thank you. But... Well, I believe in being professional, Bricker.

No one loves professionalism more than Lieutenant Candice Bricker. Ha-ha-ha-ha. I, Candice, you know, we don't... Do not call me Candice,icker. I, a handace, you know, we don't- Do not call me Candice, dammit. I just think we don't need to have a contentious relationship, Candice. You just take the book and you throw it out the window. Well, why don't you follow the book out the window and skidaddle? Where- what exactly is the book?

I've never seen the book. You talk about the book like this is a metaphor to refer to some body of laws. I am I'm gonna go I start tugging on on Mr. Bug being like we got to go catch up with him. I do thank Lieutenant Brecker for the honorary police chief badge that it's a sticker. It's a golden sticker that she gave me and I have put it on my sash. Cool. Lieutenant Bricker gets down on one knee and says to you,

you be careful around this guy. He'll do anything for a gold piece. I'll keep that in mind. I mean, we all need to eat, so everyone would. I have a lot of gold pieces, so I'll be careful. Yep, definitely don't mention that outside of the bubble, kid. Alright, bubble boy, why don't you get going? Okay. Alright, I guess we head back towards the blue mana. So moonshine and hard one. Meanwhile, you guys have been having a drink over at the blue mana and tavern. It's a small posh little cocktail bar. There are little blue spheres inside magic lanterns that

Turn the whole room a light shade of blue You see all these kind of well-to-do gnomes and elves sitting about drinking fancy cocktails and this air elemental whipping them up Seemingly out of thin air. It's been sitting at the bar for a little bit. Always drinking two drinks. That's my thing. Oh, what did you order, by the way? Like, did you order anything special? Did you ask for? I said, what's your biggest heir?

What is it called? The heir elemental asked you what your mood was. You just hear a whisper on the wind. Whatever you're feeling. Fears. Very avant-garde. I'm feeling fierce and I'm feeling it twice. He pours you two shots of regular whiskey.

But it looks super magical when he does it, but you notice it's like name brand. He tries to hide the label from you But it's clearly like Makersmark. Yeah, our guardian used to drink that at the doorfinage actually. You don't see it, but you feel the wind turn to you, Moonshine. What do you feel? Honestly, I'm feeling open to a new experience, fertile as always. New experience. Are you sure about that? Did you say you feel fertile? Yeah, dangerously fertile. I don't know. When you whisper it, I'm dangerously fertile. Mm-hmm. Um, probably shouldn't drink, but... I don't know. When you whisper it, I feel less open to a new experience, but, uh... Yeah, I'm feeling open.

Alright. You see, he pours... I'm gonna get him to the moon. He pours from all of these different bottles. They're just like regular stuff like schnapps and shit, But then there's a long island I see so far. I see it, I see it. I see it. He makes you a long island I see.

But then you see this little cauldron come up. And he pours some mysterious frothy green liquid in it and he hands it to you. There it is. I know experience. This feels like it could be a- I think that just got roofy. Yeah. She definitely do a,

a tree. So meanwhile, Beverly and Stunkbug show up in the tavern. You see a moon shot. I'm reading everybody, friends, wow, good to see you. How have you been? Hey, hello.

How are you? Who's the orc? You just upgraded your life so much. It feels like you went from outside, like outside to outside. Oh yeah, inside. Oh, I used to live in literal shit. You're not looking back.

And now I live high on the hall, you know. So Rags or itches, man. I've got a few. The bubble dream. Yeah. So I ask you a personal question. Did you have to turn your back on where he came from to move your station?

Did you betray someone to get here? Or is this just a hard work? It was a matter of hard work. I, well, my brother was murdered by our cane dealers. Okay, we're getting into it, huh? Yes. Thank you. Honestly, I appreciate the fact that you feel comfortable enough

with us to talk about what you've been through and not so far. I've finished my first try. I am having second thoughts now that you feel comfortable enough with us to talk about what you've been through and I'm so sorry. I'm finished my first drive. I am having second thoughts now that you put it that way. Why am I being so forthcoming? I want to order a drink for Mr. Bug. Yes, how are you feeling? A dry martini, please.

Of course, Mr. Bug. Oh, Mr. Bug. Thank you, Reggie. Reggie. What's up with dry martini and words for you. Stumpbuck, you look over at moonshine's drink. You recognize that as being this crazy fucking psychedelic trip drink.

Oh, wow. I haven't taken a sip yet because I'm worried I got roofied. Will you smell it and tell me if something's wrong? Is this the only people drink regularly? Do you like it? People drink it sometimes. What it does mechanically is you roll a D6 twice. One of your stats turns to one, and one of your stats

goes up to 30. Drink it, drink it. I say, oh, Reggie is very good at these. I should give it a try. I throw a bag. He threw a bag. Roll me a D6. Three. Three.

Okay, roll it again. Four. Munchine, you take a sip. Your constitution shoots up to 30. You are suddenly like super buff and hearty. And you feel healthier and happier than you've ever felt. My word, your skin is glowing. But your intelligence is a one.

You're a complete fucking moron. You can't even, you can't even speak. Where's the siblings? You can't even speak. You don't know what that means. You're turned to Bop Bop. Bop Bop, Bop Bop is smarter than you right now. Bop Bop, you see, Bop Bop looks at you super concerned. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I drank this once I had the best sex of my life on this. Let me tell you woke up with a hangover to next week

I was great Reggie loved it. Reggie loved it. Yeah, Reggie Got in the desert knock a couple of these back have a great weekend. Can I whisper to Reggie? Yes You know what I want big guy. I can't read your mouth. Oh, okay. Sprite then Sprite Of course. He's seven up okay. Seven up is fine. We have cherry seven up. Ooh. Yeah yeah yeah. Cherry seven up please. Great. I make it myself. I put cherries and seven up. Okay. He's a he's a modeling cherry. He's seven up and you see him really laboriously squeeze a cherry into everything seem harder than it is.

Does it have a tiny little sword in it? I'm so sorry. We have an little umbrella if you'd like. I mean, if anything at this place, the mocktails are better than the cocktails. That's what I'm talking about. Moonshine is wandered behind the barn as eating the garnishes.

Our shared plates are just coming out now. Moonshine is time. We have fritters. Do you not want all yours? Stop us. I'm now full of cocktail straws. I hold up a plate of sliders and say, ooh, three hamburgers. Munchan and I agreed that I would get two

and two would have one, but I guess you got hers. Munchan just starts eating the plate. So Mr. Bug, you said that there was an arcane dealer or some sort of a profession. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. My brother was murdered by arcane dealer or some sort of a... Ah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. My brother was murdered by arcane dealers. Sorry to hear that. An arcane dealer named Skullis.

So you essentially, you saw your brother killed by this arcane dealer. You remember seeing him snort this big line of this blue powder and unleashed this crazy lightning spell that shocked your brother and he was dead instantly. You were able to escape. You were able to.

I was just an orc living in literal shit. You were just happened. And orc living in shit. You made your way into the bubble by volunteering for a program with Professor Duttle. Yeah. And he was making a new series of eldritch nights that used wizardry instead of sorcery. So instead of like injecting people with wild magic, what he did is he actually went into your fucking brain and changed your memories so that you studied magic.

So you have all of these weird memories of you just in a weird white void reading books. Yep, love it. And now I am an extremely smart orc. So I may even be the smartest orc in the world. I'm not sure. I'm a very not before, before when I lived outside very stupid, read word sentences,

max, now I enjoy the opera. Oh, I read quite a lot. You know, the finer things. I eat top us every day. He's squittin' things. I havin' again, I havin' eaten a large plate meal in over a year and I'm happier for it. Have you read Dragon Anatomy?

Yes. It's great, I'm workin' my way through it right now. Very graphic, but a lot of stuff I didn't know about children literature, but I enjoyed it Munchine is still behind the bar and she has the sink going and she's trying to put the water back into the faucet Munchan you suddenly kick out of it. It's like salvia. It's like real quick Okay, and all of a sudden you're just washing your hands behind the bar The air elemental goes You're just washing your hands behind the bar. I can see the fur back now. The air elemental goes,

please go around the front. This is for staff only. Oh, so I don't work here. You don't work here. Oh, okay. So she back to normal. She's back to normal. Oh, okay.

Hey, I want your back. She heard nothing. Oh, do you mind repeating that? One time, right? Wasn't that cool? It was your hand. Cool, didn't leave your hand? Cool, but make your hands. I don't tell her my back story.

Thank God. Beverly has to whisper it to her. Thank you. Who ate my slider? Um. I raised my hand to get a new plate of sliders. How are you feeling? It's just too whiskey's red. Well, I was gonna make you some special sliders,

but fine, you'll just get regular hamburgers. That's good. I have a feeling they were gonna be regular hamburgers anyway. I have chicken. I could have been chicken sliders. I'm eating a radicchio side salad. I'm nibbling on some karaage fried chicken. I peaked behind the screen.

Adam and I were talking about his character beforehand and he said he wanted him to be orc-fraiser. That is the thing. Wait, are you wearing like a turtle neck and a blazer? Yes, I was imagining like I'm wearing a lot of purple velvet. Oh wow. And yeah, it's a tailored armor on. Oh yeah, it's like, it's like a picture of purple velvet. Oh wow. And yeah, it's a tailored, tailored armor on. Oh yeah, it's like, it's like, a lot of people get their armor off the rack, but you gotta honestly

get it tailored or it'll never fit just right. That's really cool. Yeah. Wow. I love that though. I respect Mr. Bugs so much. I do. If you cool, we could visit the tailor at some point. Oh, I would find getting some really nice fucking work. He has to meet Renee. He's the best. I think after we go to your professor, I would love to stop by. I would love to stop by Renee.

Right, we got this evil sword that we should show the professor. Do you guys want to check? Spoken like a cruise. Yeah, and we get the sliders to go. Can I just say, I mean, it's not, it's not a pro of nothing, but it came to me now. That stunk bug has a ponytail. Yeah, and I just say that he has a he has like a like a waist length beautifully Combo holy shit ponytail. Oh my god. Oh, man. It's really beautiful. It's like luxurious

hospitality in me is desperate to just give you a scalp massage turn it into a braid. Yeah, oh, can you oh you can braid hair Yeah, I point to my amazing braid. Oh my god. Yeah, I spent all night on that. So you're telling me you make delicious wine and you braid hair? I wouldn't call it wine, but yeah. You are the perfect woman.

Did you know you're the perfect woman? You know, this is amazing because I just, I travel with these two and they just, you know, they complain about how I smell or I don't shower. I know that is. Made recommendations. We just say sometimes that it would be fine if you did. I offered you so.

I try to give you positive encouragement when you do things. Like wash your hands. Hey guys, the door's pretty crowded. Yeah, we're out of here. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Alright, let's go, let's go introduce you to the professor. Okay. Cool.

So you guys go to Professor Dutel's laboratory. You make your way over to Dutel's lab. You see it's this big metal kind of steam punk looking dome building. It's almost shaped like an igloo with the entrance jutting out at the end of a little hallway coming off the main dome. The windows are bright with lights

shooting out from the inside Occasionally changing color and pulsating with arcane energy You see that the front door is a thick thick metal. I'm not gonna door you knock and you hear a robotic voice from the inside go Who is it? Hello, it's stunk bug Oh stunk bug, my best friend. It's me Juan. How are you Juan?

Just let us in. You know a robot. Oh yeah. Juan opens the door. You see Juan, he's this clockwork automaton who looks like a gnome. He has a glowing purple core at the center of all his gears and springs and complex machinery.

And he looks at you stunk bug and he goes, oh, you brought friends. So wait, he's a gnome, so he's like a little smaller than me. I am not really a gnome. As you see, he looks so hurt by this. Hey, my name. Juan? Yes.

You're whatever you want to be. Yeah. And then I play a song on the fiddle to inspire him. So hurt by this. Hey! My name? Juan? Yes. You're whatever you want to be. Yeah. And then I play a song on the fiddle to inspire him. I take out New Betsy and I play a really, really slow instrument. I'll song about how you can view it every time. He looks at you, Stunk Bug.

Is this music good? Oh, now that's the saddest thing he's said so far. Oh my god, I mean, I do love the folk music of the common classes. Why don't you roll over for him and check Munchan? Okay. Okay. I got a seven. Okay, it sounds real bad.

All right, well, I still say that in order to be. I'm like, oh, very good. It's fine, all right. Well, I still say that in order to be, I'm like, oh, very good. It's fine, you know. This is great. I'm so obsessed with this automaton because I desperately want one for my birthday and my parents won't get me one. They can't afford it, but because they don't respect you.

Yes, precisely. This is, I'm not responsible enough. It is the most beautiful song I've ever heard. Oh, Melora. Someone taught you manners. Hi, Melora. Someone taught you manners. Hi, my name is Juan, or technically number one, but I call myself Juan. That's cute. I can get it.

Good to meet you. Very clever. Do you work for a wizard? I work for Professor Duttle. He's my best friend. Can you take us to Professor Duttle? What is your name? Hard one sure if you've probably heard of me. I am the bastard of the mountain. Great axe of iron deep. You see he hesitates for a moment. Trying to like pick up on your facial cues. Yes. I have heard of you. Oh man that feels like when you

told her the song was good. Oh so it was like entirely true. Oh yes Yes, I will take you to the professor my new best friends What everyone you meet is your best friend Oh, that is true. I guess I just have a sunny outlook Juan you're kind of stressing me out a little bit Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You see, he just looks at you for a long time. Am I making you sad? No, in fact, your existence makes me so happy. I just, the sun shines a little brighter, just knowing that you're grace in this green earth.

He looks down, and then he looks up at you with cold, robot eyes, and says, no one has ever been this nice to me. Oh, my Lord, give me out of this gas frame. So, Juan, I'm a little hurt because I gave him a present on his birthday. It is my most cherished gift. What? Why'd you lost it the day you got it?

We all see through your bullshit. You are a lying robot. I would never lose a gift from a friend. It was a gift card. What was it? What was it, stunk bug? You know, no, no. It was, no, no.

What if I, I think I'm gonna say, you guys said at the same time, one, two, three, a locket. Well, it was good to say, it was a CD of, of operand, you have my favorite favorite art that he wore on a necklace through the whole. I thought it was a necklace. A magical musical locket. I play opera music.

I put it in a jewelry box. All right, checks out. Can we please meet the professor? I want to continue this conversation. All right. She see Juan leads you down a long sterile hallway then into the lab itself. You see dozens of these clockwork creatures hard at work. There are a few who look like gnomes putting together a suit of this bubble night armor on a stand.

You see a drone-like one flying around, serving the lab. You see that there are a couple spider ones carrying chemicals and beakers, like moving tables. Should we put on like face masks or gloves? So, don't worry, this is all very normal. I'm sorry, have you not been inside an arcane laboratory before?

We've never even been to the bubble city before. Yeah, honestly, no, I haven't. I've been on one of them. I guess I'm really feeling my privilege then. Yeah. Honestly, that was my first slider earlier. So you guys see a door, well, the slider's now.

You can't. At the end of the hall, you see a doorway and you see red energy exploding out. And Juan says, the professor is in there. Thank you, Juan. Thank you, Juan. I give him I put a coin in his mouth. Why? Why did you do are you bullying me? I thought I thought you might like it and also do it dance. Are you? I guess I am A robot to you after all.

I just want one soaks off. Okay, it's your alignment, young man. I'm so, I miss red the situation. Beverly, one is a friend. I apologize to one. I'm very sorry. He's gone. He's gonna cry, he's gonna be crying for a week.

Or he's a very sensitive soul. You know, we see the same therapist. And she's extremely expensive, and that's gonna be at least three sessions. He could have used the boy. To wipe that her away. You see, finally, the arcane energy from out under the door stops,

and you see the professor, this little gnome and a little white lab coat. He's bald on top with white hair on the sides. He's bald. He's bald. Oh, they're superstitions about bald people at the creek. Oh yeah. Yeah, we love them.

We love bald people. No ponytail though. No. We tried to just sit in on our hands trying not to touch his head. So you see, he's got this weird spider clock work on his head. And he goes, oh yes, stung stung bug great to see you I was just Finishing an experiment. Oh, well. What are you what are you working on this week, Professor? Well, I'm trying to use that that wizardry procedure that we did on you. Oh, yeah, thank you again

Of course of course very intelligent as before. Oh, I was as dumb as a bag of bricks. That is absolutely true You were very stupid. I was so stupid. A stupid boy. A stupid boy indeed. Well, anyway, the spider shoots arcane energy into my eyeballs, right? It goes into my brain.

I try to imagine something, and then the spider lays an egg. And I try to see if I eat that egg, if it gives me a memory. Let's see. And you see the spider. Oh, dear. The spider crawls forward. Lays this red egg and he goes, oh yes, now to eat the egg. What he does this I say, as he does this I say,

the professor is very good. I want to do a roll of mine. Can we do like a roll that just inside this egg? Make sure that this egg is safe to consume. Sure, you can do an insight check on the egg. Okay. Ooh, that's a three. Looks like a good egg, cool.

That is a red egg that a robot spider laid. Hahaha. Wow, Beth. So you see, the professor gets down in his hands and he grabs the egg off the ground. He holds up to his mouth and he says, I have never eaten a strawberry. So I imagined in my head eating a strawberry,

and now I'm going to eat this and see if I can remember eating a strawberry. And he bites into it. And he goes, I don't know if that worked because I don't know what a strawberry tastes like. Ah, blah. I already consumed it. The whole thing. All right, kiss me. What? What? No, Ah, flaw. I already consumed it to my friend. The whole thing.

All right, kiss me. What's up? No, no, no, no. Kiss him. No, hoist, stump bug. Who are your friends? These are, well, there's some new acquaintances. I met outside of the city, and they

have a few items of mysterious and or magical origin that they need identified and I thought you might be interested. Ah, yes. Wip it out, whip it out. Wip it out. Sorry. Wip it out. You really hurt people.

Yeah, please come to the magic. The magic item. The magic item. The magic item. I was very interested in your opinion and tell you ate the egg that you were hoping tasted like a strawberry. Having never had a strawberry before But hey Fuck it here. It's an evil sword

You hold it up. You know that is a cursed weapon Well, we knew that and he can you elaborate do you guys want to see something really cool? Are you gonna eat another egg? I'm not gonna eat another egg. I do, I do want to see it. Something cooler than eggs. What's cooler? Okay, yeah.

I can't promise that it'll be cooler than eggs. Does it involve the sword? Because if you're gonna do something with a sword, I'd like you to run it by a... It does involve the sword. Would you like me to remove the curse from this sword? Well, I'm curious if you remove the curse, will it then just be a normal sword?

Well, it retains. Here is the great thing about the great Professor Duttle. And that is I am able to break magic down to the cellular level. I can destroy the curse while maintaining the magical properties of the sword. That sounds pretty good. Have you? I turn to Stunkbuck.

Has he done this before? I've seen a do shit like this. Yeah, he does incredible things every day. And you can vouch that he's not just a straight up evil guy. No, he's made me a very smart orc with magic powers. Whereas before, again, I lived in literal shit. I ate shit because I was so dumb. I ate shit because I thought it was food.

Or you just had a curious palate. I mean, I'm not gonna I was so dumb. I ate shit because I thought it was food. Or you just had a curious palate. I mean, I'm not gonna look down on something. I do have a curious palate now and maybe that's where it comes from. Dung is the tapas of the body. Would you like me to look at your sword? I just heard the record, it's not. You thought.

Yes. Yeah, I'm gonna get, I will hand him the sword. Yeah. You see, he puts on these comically huge gloves and grabs the sword. Oh, yes, curse sword curse sword. Follow me follow me And he walks into the next room Is the is the spider still in his head? Yes, sure Spider crawls back onto his head. Yeah, can I make an arcanic check unlike the energy and stuff that was coming out of the room to see if I know anything about it sure Okay, we got it.

I rolled a nine. And then whatever you're our connoisseur. It'll probably be intelligence. Oh, oh, I see plus four. So 13. 13. Cool. You know that the procedure that he did to you involved in planting wizardry into your

brain, implanting these memories, what he was trying to do is make like a drug for that. So that he wouldn't have to do. I was trying to check if there's anything dangerous. There's energy coming out. If there was anything dangerous. No. All right, then I walk in. You guys all go into the next room.

You see there aren't as many clockwork's in here. This appears to be Dutdles personal workspace. It's smaller. There's a chair that looks almost like a dentist's chair with tools hovering over it. You can assume that's where he was experimenting on himself. On the other side of the room is a glass partition. You see Professor Duttle walks up and places the cursed sword into a little pipe, into a little chute, and it goes, and gets sucked up through the pipe. Go ahead and steal my sword. and it goes, and gets sucked up through the pipe. Go ahead and just throw my sword.

That's my sword. You got rock. Not the professor work. Suddenly you see the sword pop up on the other side of the glass partition. You see, Duttle walk over to a little machine and he starts pressing buttons. You watch, it looks like in slow motion that the sword goes from having these black and white flames, that the flames suddenly slow down

and stop looking like flames, but look like little black and white dots. You suddenly see lasers come in and start shooting the white ones until there's only black ones left, the whole image speeds back up, and there's only black flames. And then he turns to you guys and he says,

who of you will be using this sword? Would you- I could also transfer the magical properties to another weapon if you'd like? Probably me, right? I thought you'd have to get it! Well, who uses a two-handed weapon? Uh, I- I do. Also I do. You- I- you're carrying a long sword and a shield, my friend?

Oh, that's true. Never mind. Oh, this is my sword. I- I- I don't care who sword it is. Uh, uh's true never mind. Oh, this is my sword I don't care who sword it is. Yeah, yeah, I'll take it. Do you want the sword? Or do I do I kill the king that it belonged to? Two handed sword. Yeah, I will the two handed grade acts now wait to work person and act oh no No, the curse is gone. I shot the curse. We all saw that. Oh, that's what happened I was a wild guy these guys have never seen this before yeah Oh, no, no, no, the curse is gone. I shot the curse. We all saw that. Oh, that's what happened. I Look as a wild again. These guys have never seen this before. Yeah

I'm gonna give this I really hate to part with the axe even for a moment But I want to give you the axe and turn that shit magic. Don't worry. It's in good hands You see him shove it so hard it like doesn't quite feel it was clearly made for a sorry He shoves it in there. That was my dad's and I don't know who he is It doesn't quite feel it was clearly made for a sword. He shoves it in there. He's easy, and that was my dad's, and I don't know who he is. Oh, yes.

Okay. Well, it's gonna go in there. It's normally made for swords, but. Okay. All right, not that point. And elegant weapon is it. He shoves it in there. It's an elegant weapon.

You're an elegant man. Scuffing up that handle, huh? You see, it appears. And I think the thing looks. You see it appears in the glass case, hovering next to the sword. You see Duttle presses some buttons in the machine and You see the black dots transfer from the sword over to the axe the dots speed up and become flames again

And you see the axe crackle with black flame then suddenly there's a ding like a microwave Oh, it's finished and it comes back out the tube and he handed to you. And your axe is now a plus one axe, so you'll have one to attack rolls and to damage. And you also get to roll an extra D12 if you crit. That's dope. And you crit on 19 and 20. Yeah, I gotta come up with a name for this axe. Every great axe has a great name.

Yeah, Paw Paw three. Paw Paw's claw. Mishka's a great name. Pop-pop 3. Ha ha ha ha ha. Pop-pop is claw. Mishka's Revenge. Oh, that's pretty good. Oh, that is good. You see Professor Duttle looks at the computer and he goes like, oh yes, this curse.

If you were to wield this, you would be driven mad and attack everyone near you. Thank God we didn't use it on the roof. Sounds bad. Yes, you would have tapped attacking people until you passed out. Isn't that something? Oh my God, you guys would have had to fucking swing it. But the curse has been removed.

The curse has been removed. Totally, 100%. Professor? 100%. Yes. I have a bit of an interest in this cloak. I know it's got a plus one to AC. I'm just wondering if you know anything of the origin of it.

I deal more with the scientific properties of things, not so much the history of them. Did you buy that a store, perhaps? No. Where did you find the cloak? A dead body. I have to, it is getting a little bit late. I do have a prior engagement at the underground fighting ring

where I need to go take revenge on my nemesis scullis. So, very nice meeting all of you. Oh, I'm the same thing. And it's let out there. Not a casual thing to say, yet it came out so casually. Oh, well, you know, I just say, hey, why keep secrets, you know?

Tell you, men, you brought us to this crazy professor who just gave me a magic axe. Can we come to the fighting room with you? Well, let's say can you are you guys good at murdering your enemies? That's the only thing we know how to do. Oh really? I would say a couple days ago. I would have told you my best skill was cooking and now it is murdering my enemies. Let me ask you a close second. Are you good at working stealthily without attracting a lot of attention? Absolutely not.

I would gladly pass without trace on all of us. I would have true. Yeah, we're a little better at it now. What if China's gotten better at it? I'm dynamite at it. Well, because I was told specifically not to cause a ruckus is gonna be a stealth commando operation.

Stealth operation, that is my shit. I mean, each of my legs is the size of this kid right here, but I can handle that. I haven't known you guys very long, but I mean, so far you've been on the up and up. I'll tell you what, I have these boots that are the boots of Elvin Kine. They make me super stealthy.

In addition to that, I can cast a spell on all of us to make us super stealthy. In addition to that, I love killing folk. That deserved it, of course. Who precisely you're going after the guy who killed your brother? Yes, Skullis, the guy who, yeah, he murdered, he made my brother explode with lightning after doing drugs. Is Skullis the guy that is supplying all the drugs to the people living outside the bubble? I, but we believe he is, yes. Let's clean up this here, city.

We can lend you a hand. Yes, I think all the people outside the bubble need to be tasting the sliders of the town. That's true. Justice is served. Oh, we're not gonna let the rabble in necessary. Justice is served and it's coming in three small neighborhoods. So. Stabble in necessary. Justice is served and it's coming in three small

But if you guys are going to be going off and doing crazy things like fighting scholars who by the way good luck That the city needs to be cleaned up I think you're just the man to do it stunk bug. Thank you. You know what I have an Untested potion. It should give you the benefits of a long rest without having to take a long rest. Oh, how many of you only have one? No, no, no, I have one for each of you. Yeah, I have many. So actually, I said it was untested. I've actually tested it on myself. I will say you will go crazy if you do it twice before you take an actual long rest. So just have one, one for each of you. There are no kids. Or you will go crazy. Do you have any extra memory eggs memory eggs well they don't work you would like to see if this

spider would like to poop up a memory of me eating a strawberry you could tell me if it tastes like strawberries I'll take one for the road yeah okay we all spider poops out what are they called the takeaways what are they called the takeaways? What are they called? The one who talks. No, no, no, no, no. Oh, walk me down. I think I'll walk me down, egg. Yeah, I'll take walk me down. The spider poops out for red eggs. Wait, before we go, I do want to...

I'm just going to take it and put it in my pouch. I hold up my amulets, Professor Dubble, and I want to know if he has any thoughts on the crack that formed in it? Ah, religious nonsense. Some sort of bad omen, I don't know, what is it Eucluric's call it? I mean, I thought it was similar to the curse sorg perhaps. Seems dumb. Okay.

Seems like not magic. You know what, you can have this egg. He takes the egg to strawberry. That's fine. I'm going to eat it, and I'm also going to eat a strawberry to see if it tastes like strawberries. Good luck with that. Why have you never had a strawberry? I mean, they're on every menu in the same time. If you never came around.

How old are you? I'm 320 years old. If you never had a strawberry, you're eating spider shit and you never had a strawberry. It's not spider shit. It's a clockwork automaton. Just to have a strawberry, I mean, Professor Dutdle, I can get you strawberries. My grocer gets them very fresh. All right, bring me back,

I need you to send you up to the first batch. Bring me back to the first batch. All right, let's head to the fight right now. I'm just telling you right now, if you open up your door tomorrow and if Juan opens it up and finds a fruit basket on your doorstep, you'll know it's for me. Okay? Yes.

Sounds great. He's already working on something else. He's just reading a book ignoring you. Alright guys, we're going to call it there. That's the end of our episode. Alright. Thank you to our guest, Adam Conover. Guys, you can catch Adam on Adam Roans. Everything presents reanimated history. That's Tuesdays at 1030 on True TV,

and you can watch him game on Twitch TV slash Adam Conover. Which why wouldn't you, that sounds so fun. Yeah, you're all nerds, you're listening to a D&D podcast. And check out my TV show Billions on Showtime. Ha ha ha ha ha. I want to be on TV too, man. Just watch me play hearthstone. I don't stream it, but come to my house and do it.

Yeah, Caldwell lives at... What's my name? Just give out his address. Everyone plugs their projects and Caldwell just give out his address. I don't get that address, everybody. I'ma give out a play and people will show up for so- So in a five, I will have salsa.

Cool, guys, we'll pick up back in Esri next week. Adam will be back and we'll continue this little story. Follow us on Twitter at CH Murf is me. Add, call D is called well. Add, the extra to his Emily. Add, Jake, her with is Jake. Add, add, add, I'm con. I'm gonna burn it.

Add, add, add, I'm con over his Adam. You can check out our subreddit, are not another DND podcast. That's DND podcast. Yeah, if you want to tweet about the show, do it using hashtag NAD pod. Wait, before we go. Yeah, we gotta say thank you to this. Yes, we gotta say thank you to some people.

Oh, yeah. Oh, I want to give a quick shout out to James T for sending in this Opa Aladdin style Funko pop, which is sitting on the table in front of me. And it helps. And honestly, it helps focus me, helps center me during sessions. And we also got to give such a legit shout out to Scott. That's as much as he gave us, who sent us a... He gave us so much more.

Yes. He gave us so much more. Who needs a name when you get a handmade clay figuring of pawpaw. Oh, legit. Check it out. Yeah, we'll set on your. Yeah, we put it on NAD pod art. Cool, guys, check that out on Instagram.

I tweeted about the show at hashtag NAD pod, NAD, D-P-O-D, baby. Woo! We are, we are! The youth of the nation, we are, we are! We are the youth of the nation. We are we are.