Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 96: The Glittering Lady (The Chosen Saga)
Episode Date: April 9, 2020The Band of Boobs visit the Shrine of the Dragon God and meet the Glittering Lady herself! Beverly flexes his Moonshine impression, Hardwon gets emotional, and Moonshine finds an old friend i...n trouble. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content! Music/Sound Effects Include:"Harp Heaven" by X3nus."Forsaken" by Emily Axford."Pure Gold" by Emily Axford."Into the Fire" by Emily Axford. "Angels & Devils" by Emily Axford. "The Glittering Lady" by Emily Axford. "Qwiksus" by Emily Axford. "The University" by Emily Axford. "Enlightened" by Emily Axford."A Fate Refused" by Emily Axford. "Mee Maw's Burden" by Emily Axford."Gladeholm" by Emily Axford. "Sea Beast" by Emily Axford. "The Purge" by Emily Axford. "The Valiant Ol' Cobb" by Emily Axford. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Goodbye, Sweeties.
Welcome to the campaign after the campaign.
This is not another D&D podcast.
Welcome back to Bahumya, everyone.
Bahumya.
I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy joined by Jake Herwitz,
hard one, Surefoot, Emily Axford.
Moonshot and Sabin,
Grindin, Gladen and Vaabin.
Ooh, okay.
I feel like that's like my AIM away message.
Right off.
But you're not away, you're fucking on.
They definitely still have AM at the creek.
Oh, yeah, we're just drowning in those little CDs.
The AOL minutes CDs.
They all washed up at the creek after everyone threw them out.
Yeah, that's how you make change for a brown leaf actually.
And of course, called a little Tanner.
Beverly Togo, the fifth, lives with my friends at Glade Home Academy and knows way too
much about Dragon Anatomy.
Ooh.
Nice.
Wow, three syllable rhyme.
Very good.
Or wait for Anatomy Academy.
That was a tough one.
I'll say that right up front.
Um, I'm proud of it.
I'm proud of it.
I'm proud of myself. Um, well of it. I'm proud of myself.
Well, no one else is proud of you.
That's fair.
Okay, guys.
Let's, I love a joke that's just saying something mean to your friends.
It's not a joke.
There's no set up.
There's no punchline.
It's just mean.
I'm actually disappointed in you.
And I think you're a pretty bad guy.
Let's have fun.
But let's remember to have a good time.
Yeah, let's get into it.
Guys, let's do a little recap.
So last week, you guys received a visit on the astral plane
from Salis that gets Zerai Monk informed you
that she had recently recalled the location
of a missing divine heart on the material plane.
She advised that you couldn't beat a god without some divine help
But if you could find the divine heart, perhaps you could become Titans yourselves
You returned in the material plane then braved the stormy skies of Bohumia
Following the divine heart's coordinates to a strange portal in the sky
Hard one flung moonshine through it like a nerf vortex football
one flung moonshine through it like a nerf vortex football. Then quickly followed in the storm borne where you found a heavenly valley full of floating dragon trines. Bevin moonshine investigated
a gold dragon shrine while hard one and the crew of the storm borne were attacked by three
rowdy dragon teens. The dragons accidentally divulged that they'd come across
chosen angels recently before being handily defeated by hard one in Ballonorm. The arrival of the
chosen was confirmed when moonshine cast a locate creature on chosen captain bear at Brisden, learning
that he was currently in the Gold Dragon Shrine.
You entered together, the Gold Gollum's at the entrance, seemingly inviting you in.
You entered a grand room with a dome ceiling and a mural painted across the walls.
On it, you saw the tale of Melora, and her adventuring party defeating a goblin god,
splitting up its divine heart, then the subsequent adventures of a mysterious alladrin dragon rider. After the room filled with sleeping gas, you all managed
to resist it, except for Boundor. Believe it or not.
Needed a doubt now.
A few moments later, a gold cobalt entered through a secret doorway in the wall,
and when surprised to see you all still awake, he introduced himself as Cordone,
the butler of the glittering lady,
and welcomed you to the shrine of the dragon god.
And that's where we are now.
So you guys are in the domed room with this mural
standing across from Cordone, the gold cobalt.
Ballnor is still sleeping.
Ugh.
Ugh.
Ugh.
Can I do an inside check on this cobalt
to make sure that he's not like incahutes with Brisbane?
Mm.
Yeah, go ahead and make an inside check.
Can I do an inside check on Balnor to see
if I kick him onto his side if he'll stop snoring?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay, Jake's actually pretty more important.
He gets it his first.
Yeah, let's get that out.
It's a 16.
A 16.
Great.
I'm going to use a luck point though, just so I can really nail this.
You should probably use a couple because it's a DC 30.
Yeah.
I use a little towel and I craft a neck pillow for Balnor so we can sleep comfortably.
Bev makes a little neck pillow, hard one,
callously kicks Balnor to the side.
I know I do it very gently, lovingly,
just so we rest a little easy.
A loving kick, Merck.
A loving little kick.
Open up those passageways.
I got an 18 on inside on cordon blue.
Even if I could just sniff them for milk.
On cordon, sounds like if I could just sniff them for milk. Oh, cordon.
Sounds like anyone mistake on my part.
Cordon blue.
Sure, how'd you like a new nickname?
Okay, I sniff them, but I see what's going on with cordon blue.
Good side, you walk up and you sniff this cobalt.
You see, as soon as you get home.
But I do it in a hospital.
You do not, it's a little hey.
You go off just like, like, cook.
He sniff him.
He reacts strangely like you're coming out of him
to bite him or attack him or something.
And he just want to know what body wash you use.
You smell him.
He smells like sweet perfume.
He does not smell like milk.
And you see he recoils and he goes,
ah, what are you doing?
I'm so sorry, you just sit down.
Do you normally just walk up and sniff people?
Oh yes, I'm sorry, I'm from the creek
and we take personal space very lightly.
Okay, well, the glittering lady is the greatest legend
in all of the realms.
So if you could not do that when you meet her,
because it would reflect
poorly on you, you understand. So do more of a waft. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know what?
I'll get it from afar. Let's just not sniff the lady. I'll say not pass them up to
live to sniff her out about that. This is, you get the immediate sense from Cordone that
this is like the overly protective assistant. Just a lot of hand gestures of being like, okay, now when
we approach the glittering lady, you'll do a polite bow, of course, and introduce your
full name.
Okay.
I got a real quick question just so we're totally all on the same page.
Can you point out the glittering lady on these murals?
You see, he looks proudly and gestures back to the mural and he goes the glittering
lady takes many forms. This is the glittering lady. You see he waves his hand up at the
alladrin with the gold hair riding the gold dragon. And then he also gestures to the gold dragon alone atop its
hoard. Okay, I had that assumption and I'm glad that you were able there,
able there to confirm it. Thank you so much, Cortón. Yeah. I gave him another sniff.
My name is not Cortón Blue. It is cordoned. Mr. Blue, I just want to assure you that I will
bow deeply when we meet the glittering lady. And if you can give me just a little bit of your scent,
I smell a bit like sulfur, is all.
You all do stink of eggs here.
You see.
And not me, not me.
Sprits is a little bit of perfume in the air
and shows you guys.
I'm right through.
Yeah, Beverly does the sprinkler.
That's sprinkler.
I was gonna say that Beverly does the proper fancy boy thing, which is to like walk through the mist.
Yeah, you step through.
I probably get a little too excited though.
I'm gonna need a couple more sprits
as there's a lot of mass to cover here.
We actually don't need anymore.
The whole room stinks.
You all stink of perfume now.
We might need to bathe you.
All right, real quick.
I create water and bathe you. All right, real quick.
I create water and bathe us.
You guys start to take a bath in the middle of the show.
One big bath.
And you see Cordone looks you guys up and down.
Again, tiny, this little cobalt,
a little bit shorter than Beverly,
but gold and his scales shine brightly.
And he puffs his chest out and he goes,
well, you're clearly strong enough
that the lady will find you interesting,
but you're few enough in number
that you aren't at all threatening.
And he kind of narrows his eyes
and looks you guys all up and down.
That makes me want to prove how threatening I am,
but I play it cool because I really want to meet this dragon rider who can turn into a dragon. Pretty passive aggressive,
but lead the way Lord blue. I didn't realize there was a traveling
troop of gestures coming to the. Is that not be so fun? Let's wait from the gestures. We do know an improv team. Yeah, that's true.
I hate improv.
Nobody hates improv more than cordone.
Right this way, the lady will see you.
You guys see cordone walks over to the door way
that opened up in the mural.
The painting is now split so that Melora
and the male Alladrin are further away
from the glittering lady,
the woman who was seen riding the dragon.
This is like the image of them all standing around
the divine heart and she is like separated from them.
Can I ask Cordone a couple questions about the mural?
I'm sure he's got a large repository of knowledge
when it comes to the history of the glittering lady.
As soon as, yeah, as soon as you guys enter the secret passageway,
you see it's lit by torches.
And as soon as you ask that Cordone is very happy to talk about the mural,
he goes like, oh, did you enjoy it?
The lady painted it herself.
She is quite the artist.
This she now. oh, she is.
Both woman and dragon and artist.
What has the she not wear?
Adventure fighter, druid, wizard, God.
Druid and wizard, huh?
That's a set tuple threat.
Impressive.
The last one, especially God, that's pretty nuts.
Because I mean, I'm an artist, but yeah, everything or did you save the best for last?
The lady is an artist first.
I can relate.
I can absolutely relate.
I started painting at a young age.
Is that right?
Yes, I'm actually a known to write a slam poem or two about the glittering lady.
I turned to hard one.
My eyes wide. It's in your blue. I'd love to hear them when we have the time.
You see he continues and he goes, yes, but the mural, the lady painted it herself. It's called
Heart of a Deity, Heart of Adventure, a retelling of the old wars by someone who fought in it, a painting,
a dragon's tale. Oh, wow. You didn't even have to say I could hear all the colon's in there.
Yes, there are no less than 17 colon's in there.
And sumptuous, most of them are not sporadically correct.
If you say something and there is not a colon in it, is it a title?
That's what you have to ask yourself.
How does my mind know where to stop?
Exactly.
So, as you guys are walking through this passage,
sort of this, you know,
dank little tunnel,
a huge difference from the grand room that you were just in.
But you see after asking about the mural,
Cordone goes on to kind of tell you
the history of the glittering lady.
And he goes,
the lady is the greatest legend in all of your realm and she has all but been
erased. When Savage, crew, giants ruled the world, she fought to take it back for the
elegant, beautiful dragons and she would have done it to, if it wasn't for you, small
folk and gestures to all of you guys, not that's not.
Capitalizing on our losses and coming out of nowhere
to weasel your way into winning the realm for yourselves.
Way, winning the realm for, so there was a time
when a small folk to borrow your phrase were not around.
Guys, go ahead and make history checks.
Mm. Shout out to the two crew. Were not around? Guys go ahead and make history checks. Hmm.
Shout out to the two crew.
Eww.
Uh, it's on 11 for me.
Munchang got a 16.
16, okay.
Mmm, you know, I have been in a library recently,
not to mention the powerful oral history of my folk.
So not to diminish that.
This is something that you guys know the gist of, but moonshine, you probably
heard stories at the creek about it. And also, you have the thinking cap on, you have a connection
to Deawana and her knowledge. But you guys kind of know the history of Bohemia is the kind of bullet points here are
gods create the material plane and they create the first people.
Gods and the first people all go to war with each other, destroying the realm and wiping
out the first people.
The pact of the gods is then made and the gods all go off to their own planes.
They're not allowed on the material plane anymore, and then as humanity rebuilds,
there's less magic in the world,
and monsters rule it.
So...
Aaaaaah, an age of monsters!
Exactly.
Oh, when I wouldn't give to time travel
to an age of monsters just to see it,
just to be a fly on the wall.
As soon as you say that,
Cordone grabs your hand,
and he goes,
that's what the glittering lady wants to bring dragons back. Yes.
Well, she and I have more in common than just both being hot than.
So you guys also know that
Giants and dragons, there's less record of these wars because the
kind of next generation of people after the first people were kind
of like cave men asked.
It took them like a long time to evolve.
But giants and dragons battled for centuries while humanoids slowly expanded their power
and influence, eventually toppling the weakening monsters who like basically made each other
weak and humans kind of came out of nowhere and and defeated them.
So dragons. So they were sort of they were sort of the
widely prey that let the predators feast on each other. Exactly. And came in at an opportune moment. Yep. They like we split the vote. Exactly. Exactly.
Um, so dragons for the most part disappeared at that time in history, but giants continued to skirmish with humans throughout history.
And you guys know this, the giant wars and everything.
We met that bartender who was a survivor of the giant wars.
Exactly.
So yeah, as you guys are like,
recalling this and talking about the giants and everything,
Cordone goes,
the giants might choose to be your little play things,
but the dragons always have our freedom.
We have the sky. Yes, Dragon
Opalus. Yeah. It's actually called the Sanctuary. Sanctuary. I mean, it don't ring like Dragon
Opalus, but I feel like they, that's got something to it. The Sanctuary, it's not bad. It's
definitely not bad. From one slam poet to another, I think, yeah, it's how about, how
about can I pitch this, the sanctuary colon dragonopolis?
We just arrived.
Thank you so much, Bob.
We just arrived at exactly the answer.
As long as there's a colon in it,
I'm honestly fine with it.
Great.
The sanctuary colon, dragonopolis.
You know what, yeah, we're already arriving
at just points of common interest.
This is gonna work out great.
This is, yeah.
So you guys continue traveling through the secret passage
until you see a light at the end of the tunnel
and then finally hit open air.
The hallway lets out onto a field,
clearly some kind of illusion or magic trick
because you did not see this from the outside.
You see fields of flowers and roaming animals,
deer running in the distance.
You see there is a little area
that looks like it was set up for a picnic
and a painting easel with a mostly finished painting on it.
A top a hill along a cobblestone path
from where you are is a castle straight out of a storybook.
This beautiful stone castle with gold-plated
shingles atop its roofs and towers. Above you, you guys hear the sounds of massive flapping
wings. You see cordoned gasps and clutches his heart. She's out for a fly. She's out for a fly.
and clutches his heart. She's out for a fly. She's out for a fly.
You guys look up and you see a gorgeous ancient gold dragon, this gargantuan beautiful beast.
It's gold scales reflecting the sunlight.
It is at once powerful and graceful. You see it float to the top of the sunlight. It is at once powerful and graceful.
You see it float to the top of the castle,
perched there for a moment,
then floats to the back of the keep and disappears.
And you see Cordon is weeping.
Oh, it gets me, every time it's like the first time.
My eye slurps back in my own tear.
Beverly pulls out his dragon anatomy book checks it. Yep closes it back
Good to go come you must meet her. Oh, yeah, yeah, I guess I could do that
Fargo and just holding back so many tears screaming like I'm doing crunches. I gently nudge ball nor to wake him up
So I guess you guys have just been
We put it we put him on his little,
what do you call those red wagons?
We just slept through all of this.
So he doesn't know the history.
He didn't see the gold dragon taking flight.
We have him on a red rider that was right here.
The Lord just wakes up and he goes,
ah, I had a dream that I went to the bank
and I was waiting in a long line.
Did I miss anything?
Oh, it's hard to explain, man.
He looked so touched, what happened?
Yeah, maybe don't, maybe don't worry about what you missed
and get excited for what you're about to experience.
So, Cordone leads you into the keep.
You enter the main hall and see tall windows
that shine light down on planters
that grow beautiful gold roses.
The room is full of art and bookshelves lined with books, desks with papers and paintings
all over it, musical instruments, some hung, some strewn about.
You hear sounds of laughter as well as the playing of a harp.
There are many golden statues of dragons and a ladrin
statues and busts. You guys see a large banquet table in the center of the room facing a stage
with a small platform on which a harp is playing itself. A beautiful twinkling melody
playing itself. A beautiful twinkling melody. Behind the stage is a painting of a gold dragon sitting atop a hoard of riches. You see lining the table are various objects, various
magical artifacts that are all possessed and able to speak, like chatting amongst each
other. You even see like a little gin that peaks out of a magic lamp.
What kind of conversation does the conversation seem lively or dull or hostile?
Go ahead and give me a perception check.
15. You hear that they're talking about the performance and they're having it it seems like these were
Cultivated by the glittering lady like this is her
Is to have like friends to like talk to about art and stuff
And so like they're all discussing. They're just like ah thumb luscious songs
They're so inspired this the way he plucks himself. it's just, it's unlike anything I've ever heard.
I take out my woodblock and I put it on the ground
and I sort of push it towards the table.
I'm like, go on, go on.
You can chat with them.
Make friends, don't be shy.
I want to take out new Betsy and instead of playing it
with its bow, I want to fiddle along but with plucking.
Go ahead and give me a performance check.
Can I help?
Okay, go.
Yeah, if you guys want to do like a group performance check.
I have a plus two to performance.
But it's okay, because I did get a 13.
Okay.
It's not an absolute failure.
When Chains Dance Straight and begins fiddling on
New Betsy and Cordone goes, what are you doing? What are you doing?
Oh, I'm sorry where I come from. Art is a collective thing that you make together.
And you see all of the various
animated objects kind of turn to face you guys at the door and there's just sort of a quiet
turn to face you guys at the door and there's just sort of a quiet murmuring. Some of it seems like people are just kind of like embarrassed.
I can pivot this. I'm so sorry where I come from. Art is more of a collective endeavor,
but I appreciate if you are more of an individualist here.
I bow.
Yeah, and then I bow, also.
The animated objects give you like a little nods together and you hear a few of them whispering
amongst each other.
There's something raw about it.
I liked the fiddle.
I liked the fiddle.
There's plenty more with that came from.
So suddenly you guys see there's a puff of smoke in the center of the room and when it
clears you know right when you see her
that this is the glittering lady.
You are just hit with this overwhelming charisma.
She's tall and slender, wearing a beautiful,
golden dress with gold dragon rings around her arms.
And she rushes over and just starts gushing over you
as soon as she sees you, she runs over.
Oh my goddess, what beautiful guests.
You see she goes over, she grabs hard one by the face,
puts like her hands on your face and goes,
I'm so glad you're here.
I bowed early, I'd like to bow again just one second.
I bow deeply.
A double bow.
You see, Cordone looks extremely impressed
and tries to bow even lower than you.
I wink at him and I get very low
and I wink at him again.
As you get low, you see she puts her finger under your chin
until it's your face back up to look at her
and she gives you a little smile.
And you see gold flakes appear in your beard.
Whoa!
Then she kneels down.
And who are you little one?
Are you talking to Cordon or me?
I know who Cordone is. Who are you?
You see she lets out like a hardy laugh.
You're hilarious.
Just a little short guy humor for you.
I love short guy humor.
I am Beverly Toggle the fifth man
and I kneel and make to kiss her hand if she'll allow it. She leaves her hand out. You give her a little kiss. I totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally times y'all. Trust no one. Shut up to the two crew friends. Taste like gold.
Yum yum yum.
Brutal. Okay.
Your divine sense is enough that you do not sense
any kind of celestial or beamed.
Gotcha.
Okay, now that I'm more or less certain,
I switch into full court mode.
I put on all the pop and circumstance
and shivalry I can muster.
I beam my bow, I do three bows in a row.
She nods and smiles at you.
And then she goes over to moonshine.
Malady, lady of both sky and earth,
I would like to offer you you who seems to love gold, the
gold of my people.
And I would like to, from my hand, conjure like a beautiful bioluminescent mushroom.
Ooh.
I thought it was going to be an AIMCD.
I really thought it was going to be an AIMCD.
She looks at it and she gasps and
immediately tears start coming down her face and she goes
this Is a wonderful gift I
Can it also comes with a terrarium? I
Love terrariums
You see she doesn't pulls you in for a big hug
Terrariums. You see she doesn't pulls you in for a bake hug.
Cordon, am I allowed to stop bowing if she hugs me? Your hands just in our belly button.
I look like I'm doing it like I'm trying to tackle her
because I'm bowing but also hugging her.
Cordon, give me the a.o.k. I can stop bowing.
Cordon runs over and like straightens your legs
so that you're standing up
and she pulls you in for a hug.
But as she squeezes you close at the end of the hug,
Munchain, you feel her heartbeat,
boom, boom, boom, boom.
And in a flash, you feel a mirror of that heartbeat.
Meloras, you have a vision. It's like when the thinking cap took over before.
Yeah.
In this brief moment, Moonshine, you find yourself in a corrupted version of Melora's material demi-plane.
The domain of Melora, which usually looks like a beautiful oil painting with yellows and
greens and blues, is now dark with blues and grays and blacks, like the image of a storm. And in the center of the storm,
you see a single piece of glowing yellow rock.
And you know this, you can just sense it
as being a lifelong follower of Melora.
This is Melora's divine heart flashing.
Sposed to the elements.
With each beat exposed to the elements.
Bum bum.
Bum bum.
You see that the world around her,
this painting around her is cracking and shifting
and from the heart flashes of yellow lightning
explode out like tendrils and pull them back.
The world around you shakes like you're in an earthquake and you hear Melora crying out in pain.
Go ahead and give me an insight.
Yeah, I was going to say, what is the nature of this vision?
Can I interact with this world or am I merely witnessing something?
I got an 11 insight.
11 insight. 11 insight.
You know that the last time that you had visions
because of the thinking cap that you were able
to interact with them.
And you can tell even without an amazing insight role
right now, you're like a little flustered and everything,
but you see that Melora is holding the material
plane together.
Like everything you guys are experiencing out on the material plane right now,
everyone has to be in this protective dome up in the sky,
and there are still earthquakes, the earth is like shattering.
That being said, people have generally been kind of safe,
and in this moment you see that Melora is essentially
sacrificing herself to keep the planet together.
Melora, are you doing this on your own?
You hear distant whales of pain,
and you hear her speaking in a strained voice.
I can help you, we can help you.
I have protected her as long as I could.
By her do you mean the glittering lady or do you refer to Bohumian a female way?
You see she lets out this horrible yell of pain. The glittering lady, Tulane.
And you learn that her name is Tulane.
Okay.
And she goes,
I'm with Tulane.
I can, I can help you.
I know.
I, I told her where defines Tulane.
You need the divine heart.
One way or the other.
You spoke to Salis. you talked to Salis and you
told her where to find this divine heart yes she lets out another echoing scream
okay Melora your children are gonna take care of this for you okay you hang
in there we got this I will not let you down as she lets out another whale of pain in the world around you shakes.
Can I cast a spell?
Yeah, go ahead and give me a wisdom save.
Okay, wisdom save is going to be a 25.
I will allow you to cast a spell.
Okay, I would like to, this is probably stupid, but I'm going to cast a six level heal on Malora.
Holy shit. Oh cool. Munchine, you
Hold your hand out and walk over to the divine heart the one light in this dark place and
you cast an extremely
powerful heal spell and you see that
the world stops shaking
quite as violently, and
you don't see any kind of corporeal form of Melora, but you hear her voice now more calm and
straining less, and she goes,
thank you, thank you.
Thank you, my child.
Of course, Melora.
I will see this right.
You will not have to do this alone.
I know.
Um, moonshine.
You in a flash, um, wake up in this hug.
And it was only like a moment.
Hi Tulane, I just saw Melora in your embrace.
I was transported to a realm with Melora.
She's not doing well.
She is exposed to the elements.
I gave her what power I could, but she wants us to have that divine heart
because until we set things straight, she is going to be dragging herself ragged
so that she can hold Bohumia together.
As soon as...
I know we just met this sound
like the ramblings of a crazy person.
I'll take a drug test.
Well, okay, I'll probably fail it.
But...
She failed the drug test.
Yeah, but she'll, we'll take it.
You see, she looks absolutely floored and kind of drops the act of being this super peaceful,
enlightened, alladgerant for a moment, turns to everybody at the table and goes, could
you give us a minute, please?
And you see, they all start flying away and going into different chambers.
I put my woodblock back in my pocket.
I did not mean to speak politics in front of,
I don't know who they are to you.
I just, it was a very visceral experience and I wanted to make sure it came to your attention with the gravity it deserved.
She nods and you see she looks kind of dumbfounded and she goes,
no one has called me Tulane in a very long time.
Is that on purpose have I violated something?
No, no.
She called you Tulane so I thought yes, that is
My name is Talene
cordon
Leave us for now. You see cordon bows and goes off down the secret passageway
chop mr. Blue
He nods currently most your blue
Talene takes you guys and sits down at the table
and she goes,
my relationship with Melora is complicated to say the least.
I was in an adventuring party with her
and another eladrin named Ariox.
Together we defeated the Goblin god Bargervik, and afterwards we were
skeptical of creating another god, so we split his divine heart in three. Each of us
swearing to protect the realm without imposing our will on any of its creatures. But in the end,
Malora was the only one responsible enough
to keep her packed.
Everybody go ahead and give me insight check.
14, 16.
Okay.
Bev, you see as she mentions Malora
being the one responsible enough,
there's just like a hint of disdain in there. And then you see after that she kind of goes back to her
performative self and she goes, but me, I fell in love with the beauty of
dragons and believed the world would be better if it were filled with them.
It's hard not to. Yes, of course. And their numbers were being dwindled by evil giant hunting parties.
What other choice did I have?
I had to side with the dragons.
I think that I understand that feeling.
I sided with dragons in a war against giants, and while we were busy killing each other,
humans built their empires, and in the end defeated us both. And afterwards,
Melora banished me here for breaking our pact, and years later,
breaking our pact. And years later, I hear Aureox broke our pact as well, but eventually gave his peace of the Divine Heart back to Melora.
Well, I just saw Melora, and the sense I got was that she's still trusted and
still loved you. Munchan, as you say that, you are starting to understand the
situation a little bit more.
Melora said that she was protecting her. She says that she was banished. You see that there's
probably a little bit of truth to both. But that if Tulane lost the war, Melora probably could have killed her. You know what I mean?
Like this is not someone who looks like
they're totally backed into a corner.
But you see Tulane goes,
I don't like hearing that she's hurting.
But what you're asking of me to give you my divine heart,
But what you're asking of me to give you my divine heart, that is all I have left. We can prove ourselves worthy not to mention the current state of the world.
Many of the humans or small folk as Cordon called us who built their civilizations while you waged war with a larger threat
There is a chance in this world that if we can save it that dragons and humans can have a new relationship
All we're asking you to do is the same thing you've already done
You've made a choice before you chose a side
We're asking you to choose Melora's side again.
It's not too late to honor the pack you once made.
You see she considers this and just quietly nods to herself.
Reaches her hand across the table towards you guys.
And she goes, if I were to help you, we would need to make a deal. That
the dragons here would once again be allowed to fly free on the material plane.
We can give, we can promise them freedom if they can promise us kindness. We cannot give them freedom without consequence.
If they fly around in the world, destroying towers and cities
and letting their firebreath go willy-nilly,
we'll only be dooming in one civilization for the rise of another.
You see that as you say that,
she has like a slight sneer on her face and she goes, isn't that just like
Melora? Everything should be natural and wild, but are the dragons not the natural predators
of small folk? Would you bind their wings? Dragons are noble and beautiful, but they're also smart and wise and you can't have a peace
with only one party. Yeah, I think that nature can be cultivated and it's okay if you can be born
a predator and learn a nobler way. She leans back, she crosses her arms and she nods. She's mulling it over, she's thinking about it,
but clearly she disagrees with the way
that Melora runs things.
And essentially thinks that dragons should be able to kind of...
She thinks dragons should be able to be in charge.
Exactly.
But then you see Cordone reenters the hall
and scrambles up, excuse me, my lady.
He goes up and he whispers in her ear.
You see, she cocks in eyebrow, looks up at all of you and smiles and she goes, well,
you've certainly given me a lot to think about.
Why don't I let Cordon take you to your quarters and we can talk about this all over dinner.
We really only need one quarter. Don't open up too many rooms for us. We just squeeze
for one. You tend to conquer. Just the one room? Yeah, one quarter. You guys are the ideal
house guests. They have a light footprint. A very, one very deep but solitary footprint.
Easy to clean up now.
It's all concentrated onto one space.
We do destroy it though.
It is a shit smear boot that makes that footprint.
Belmore's shit in the last room.
He's dead.
Belmore's sleeping again.
Belmore fell asleep again doing the thing.
Sorry, the harp was just really going before I didn't miss anything.
Did I?
Oh, I got you.
All right, good.
I'll compose a poem about it.
So Tulane walks over to one of the chamber doors, opens it and goes down a different hallway and
Cordone leads you guys up through like a tower to another level
and takes you to a room. You see he opens this large oak door and you guys see a beautiful room
filled with gold finery. It's honestly, it's it's it's pretty, but it's a little tacky. The bed has a gold canopy and matching sheets.
There's a warm hearth and a tall window
that looks out onto the garden's outside.
It's a beautiful sunny day.
And Cordone does a little bow and he goes,
I will be back to fetch you for dinner
when the lady is ready.
I bow slightly lower than him.
Thank you for your service, Lord Blue.
You see, he bows even lower than you.
Ha, ha, ha.
I get fully perpendicular.
You see Beverly and Cordon are essentially
planking next to each other.
Ha, ha, ha.
Are they going to bed now?
What's going on? And wall cordone is just full on
on his stomach head all the way down. Just skitters away on his toes and his claws. Oh, he's good.
Leaving the room. And he closes the door behind you guys. I check the bathroom.
Beautiful gold toilet. Beautiful. Thank you so much. I was hoping. That is true. Can
us, can I crack the window open? Yeah. May I send, could I cast beast sense on handy
Andy? Yeah, I would allow that. He's like your familiar kind of. I want to send him just
to poke around, to stealth around and just look for chosen. Because we know that bear of bursiness in here.
Yes, and nobody has mentioned anything.
Yeah, so I want to send handy Andy to try to find bear of bursiness.
Okay, so you're sending him out the window?
I was just going to crack the window, let him skitter down the wall.
Great.
Moonshine, you open the window.
Beautiful spring breeze hits you, handy and the skitters down the wall,
and then suddenly, phew, appears back in the room.
Mm.
This seems, and you guys remember,
when you guys walked in and saw this like outdoor garden area
outside of the keep, that the whole place was an illusion
and this window even looks like it might not actually go anywhere. Can I walk on to the hallway? Bev, as you go to
open the door, it is locked. And you hear cordone on the other side go, not yet
the lady is not ready. We can't have you just watching around the castle.
And then you will wait for dinner.
Okay, then I would like to gash his form out through the lock.
Okay, so I imagine that he'll be standing guard the whole time,
but I'm on a wait a moment to little him in.
So can we start something loud happening in here?
I whip out the woodblock.
Yeah, let's practice a performance for later
to set up a celebration.
I'll get New Betsy and then I hand it to Bev
with a sign like you play it.
I do my best moonshine impression.
Here we go, y'all.
You can do anything.
Wow.
I don't know why you're talking like me
because I'm actually going to quietly play my fiddle,
but you can talk if you want
Just trying it out. Sorry. No, it's it did sound good. It does not good
That sounds amazing you wily little Crick hell
Yeah, um Bev I'll say um go ahead and do a performance check to match how moonshine was playing the fiddle before.
All right, here we go.
Okay, that's going to be a 17.
17.
Okay, yeah, I will say that in addition to whatever stealth stuff you roll, moonshine, you
can add to the role for Bev providing a distraction.
Okay, cool.
Nice.
Okay, wait, before I go though, I am going to report sports.
Y'all.
Good call.
This is in report sports.
You cannot hear this.
Everyone keeps playing.
Bev, you can stop doing the moonshine impression.
You hear?
What impression?
It's hard to get out of.
Y'all. Y''all what's going on?
Alright, we're having a moonshot huddle. Alright. Alright.
Are am I going out there now?
We are in a situation that is unsavory.
We can make a lot of assumptions. Some of those assumptions might feel like we are in a straight-up bad situation.
Other assumptions might be that
Tulane is merely wary of us and this is a precaution.
I don't know which conclusion to jump to.
Would y'all like me to gash his form out there?
And this is the most extreme situation.
Take out the cobalt or knock the cobalt unconscious
so that I can unlock the door
or would y' all like me to
gash his form to try to see what to line is up to. Let's let's stay neutral for
now. Okay, that's my instinct. Yeah, just a nice recon mission. Okay, let's get
the lay of the lands. That is my instinct as well. Okay, um, moonshine, you go
into a gash's form. You guys see moonshine just turns into a little cloud of smoke.
Y'all, do you all want to say something about like, um,
doing a hukka or...
I guess.
Lightness and incense.
Whoa! Hard one! What a huge doobie!
Hey brother, we're gonna be in here a while.
At least I'm gonna get baked. Watch this smoke ring.
That's incredible.
Can I make sure that I smell like marijuana?
Can I do a performance to see if I can smell like marijuana?
Can we play like Bob Marley song on New Betsy
and The Woodblock?
I got a nat one for smelling like, for smelling like.
You don't smell like weed.
This is the least dang weed anyone has ever shown that I'm baking on
cordon being such a dweeb that he doesn't know what it smells like.
Is that marijuana?
It just smells like cinnamon.
Careful, bro, you might get a contact high.
Sounds super nervous.
You can come in and enjoy this if you want.
Moonshine, go ahead and give me a stealth check.
26. Yes. Okay. So Moonshine, you pass through the little hole in the lock and you
emerge on the other side and cordone is going to do a perception check.
You see that's cordone is looking looking through a little eye hole.
His eye hole is super, super low.
You see there's a little hole way low down in the door.
And you fly.
I prefer a sports. He's a perv.
You fly.
I turn my back to the door.
Down the tower and get back to this great hall.
It's empty.
Before it was full of all of these enchanted objects
having lively conversations and everything,
but after Talaine dismissed them,
they have not come back.
This room is empty.
You use a gaseous form to get under the door,
tender the chamber that Talaine had gone through. Go ahead and give me a perception check.
17. 17. You hear deep down the hallway in a room down the hall with another closed door. You hear
her yelling going, you came here and attacked me. You should consider yourself lucky
that your essence will live on
in the horde of the dragon god.
Some of your co-conspirators were not so lucky.
And you hear shouts of protests
from somebody who sounds like they're
in something it's unintelligible.
Does it sound like Hector?
We know this boy's anywhere.
No that boy's anywhere.
You can't see or tell right now.
I suppose I will get a little bit closer.
I do feel as though I've gathered the intel that I needed to gather.
If she's got them locked up,
sorry, I'm just walking through what I'm thinking.
If she's got them locked up,
that implies to me that they are not working together.
But I suppose I should...
Get visual confirmation.
Yes, I suppose I should go a little closer.
Are we still in rapport spores range?
No.
Yeah, I think you guys are getting a little far out.
Cool.
Bev and hard one, is there anything you guys would like to do
up in the room while all this is happening?
Would I be able to resummon Jaja without alerting cordone?
Oh, certainly.
Cool.
Then I will do that.
I go into the bathroom and I get in the bathtub
and I fill with water.
Oh, here you go.
Oh, hey, dad.
Welcome back.
Hey, you know what?
You stood up to those bullies and I'm proud of you.
Thanks, they pushed me around, dad.
No more.
No more.
I'm here now and I'll always be here and what you did took more courage than
I've ever seen and I've seen a lot. Oh thanks dad. You see, it starts swimming around
the little bathtub. I've eaten some fish food. Moonshine, you and your gaseous form, slide slide under the door into this room. You see a room filled with strange arcane
technology, all of it covered in gold. It basically looks like a like tackier
version of a londis's lab. There are pods lining the walls with circular glass windows that let you see into them.
They are all connected through various tubing to a big circular machine in the center of
the room.
Munchine, go ahead and give me a perception check.
21.
21.
I.
Munchine, you see that the pods are all empty except for two.
Are there three empty ones?
There looks like there's like eight pods in here.
Yeah.
You see two of them are full.
You see Barrett Brisin is banging on the glass.
You see, he looks malnourished and sweaty and messed up
and he's banging on the glass.
You don't understand.
What's the, what's the goddess finds out about this?
You're pay.
The only goddess here is me.
Oh, almost.
And.
It's kinda hot.
Munchain, you see another person banging on the pod next to
Brisbane. Let me out. Let me out. This is fucking bullshit.
You see Luna.
Huh?
Stuck in the pod.
Trying to get out.
Is Luna wearing chosen attire?
We know that Luna was considering going undercover with them.
She is not wearing chosen armor.
Both of them look super messed up.
And Luna is not in her wearable form.
It looks like there might be something preventing her
from doing that.
Or perhaps the fact that you guys are in this magical magical little pocket plane, there might not be a moon.
She might not be able to do it.
But she's got her yellow eyes when she went into kind of pissed off mode, and she's trying to get out.
But her hair looks all matted and sweaty and messed up and everything.
And you even think all of the Alice followers disappeared
when she did her big thing.
These guys, like Luna doesn't have wings, right?
So that would mean that she didn't.
But Barrett Briston did, you get the immediate sense.
These guys probably have been in here for weeks.
Okay, I get the fuck out of there and I head back.
You gashous foreign back under the door.
You hear the banging of the pods continue to go.
You also see she had her, the like genie there
that you guys had seen when you guys first went in the room
and you see as you're leaving, she turns to him
and she goes, else the bore, we'll do this one today.
And I'm going to roll a pure luck check
to see if she designs on Barrett,
Brisden, or Luna.
You know what?
Let's have who wants to roll.
Not I.
If no one wants to do it, I will do it,
but I would not offer my.
Emily, you do it so that you can rub an immerse face
when you roll the right one.
Okay.
Okay, so we'll say one through 10 is bad.
That will be Luna and 11 through 20 will be bearer-priced in.
19, baby!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Luna, I saved you and you don't even know it. I'm gonna roll it just to see what I would have gotten. I got idea. I was 16.
Okay.
All right.
What you got?
I got 16.
It was meant to be.
Baby, your story's not over.
You see she nods to her genie, Elzabor pulls out a great sword and places it in a compartment
in the machine.
He then turns it to a gaseous form and enters the machine,
causing it to glow blue, to lane, walks over, and pulls a lever.
And there are all of these crackles of arcane energy going into the pod,
that bear at Brisbane is in.
And he goes, no, no, you can't do this.
I am the chosen of the all. I am the chosen of the Allah,
I am the chosen of the Allah.
You see flashes of blue as if there's like a storm
in Briston's pod, and after a moment,
he has disappeared.
A storm.
Oh, what if it just turns them into dragons?
You saw the gen put like a sword into the oh
He's turned she's taking their sentience and putting it into objects. Yep infusing them. I see all of those people
All of those objects that we're talking with they're all prisoners
They're not I don't even think they're prisoners though because then they would probably speak more
I wonder if she is taking the gift of sentience the gift of self-awareness the gift of intelligence and
Making them art lovers damn. She's beauty and the beast. I know
All right. Yeah, I fucking float my 10 feet of speed out the out of there as fast as I can which again is 10 feet of sweet
So moonshine takes a really long time.
We get through all of it's a crazy game of poker by OAR.
Yeah.
Ja-ja and I are harmonizing.
The smoke shapes moonshine.
And then I sort of fill out cartoon character like,
like, no, no, no, no, no, no.
We're gonna need a really greasy fiddle handoff.
Yeah, keep playing.
I lost it all.
All right, so what's going on?
Okay, so I went down there.
She has some sort of arcane laboratory where she is taking, I don't know if it is the souls
or the mere gift of sentience that she is robbing from people
to imbue in her magical items.
My instinct is it's the latter
because none of the items were saying,
I'm a prisoner and I hate my life.
Basically she's taking, she's turning people into objects.
And Barrett,
Brisbane is now a sword.
Serves him right.
And there's a little blast from the past down there.
Luna is in there.
What?
And I'm hoping that this is some sort of ability
that requires an amount of electricity
that we at least have Luna for the day, that we at least have a day to try to figure out
how to save Luna.
Luna's in there.
This glittering lady, hot though she may be, we, and I do believe that there is some goodness
to her perhaps, but we're in a dangerous situation
is what I'm trying to say.
Do you think we should wait until dinner and try and engage her there or should we make
our move now?
Great.
Then you know what?
Let's invite Cordon in, get him incapacitated.
We don't want a commotion in the hallway.
I think we should try and get him in the room
and then maybe put him in the bathtub or something like that.
Maybe turn the water on so we can't scream.
Okay, let's just try to lock him
because I don't actively want to hurt him.
Right, yeah, I don't know.
All right, okay, let's go in here.
Oh, well fiddle sticks.
I broke a string on my fiddle.
Well, Dan, we're not gonna be able to do our performance if we don't have a working fiddle sticks, I broke a string on my fiddle. Well, Dan, we're not gonna be able to do our performance
if we don't have a working fiddle.
And none of us know how to re-string it.
And after two lane, I said,
I cannot wait to hear more of that fiddle.
We're done, could you perhaps get us a golden string?
I'm sure that the lady has one lying around
and would love to.
No, no, she probably doesn't have any strings at all.
He wouldn't know how to string it anyway.
We'll have to figure this out ourselves.
We could probably use one of the threads in the bed.
Guys, go ahead and give me a group deception check.
That is a 23.
No, 23.
After a moment, you hear Cordon Fiddling
with the door outside.
Do not touch the sheets, do not touch the sheets.
You see Cordon Fiddling. C door outside. Do not touch the sheets, do not touch the sheets. You see, cordone enters the room.
Can I have Jojo like right above the door,
and as soon as cordone enters,
he just falls on top of cordone.
Sorry, just to be clear,
he's in a bucket of water.
He's in a literal bucket of water, right?
He's in a bucket of water that I've fashioned
using minor illusion.
Go ahead and make an attack role for alerted to this noise. Okay.
Well, that's the loudest fiddling I've ever heard.
That's a 21-strength check.
Sweet.
Okay, that's gonna work.
You guys see,
I'm gonna pick up New Betsy and start fiddling
so nobody's alerted to this noise.
Okay.
Well, that's the loudest fiddling I've ever heard.
That's a 21-strength check.
Sweet.
Okay, that's gonna work. You guys see, I'm gonna pick up New Betsy and start fiddling so nobody's alerted to this noise. Okay. Well, that's the loudest fiddling I've ever heard. That's a 21 strength check.
Sweet.
Okay, that's gonna work.
You guys see, as Cordone scrambles to enter yelling at you guys
not to cut up the sheets.
Jaja collapses on him, balnor slams the door closed behind him
and he is pinned under J jaw and starts squirming.
What are you doing? Do you mean to do harm to the to the lady of the castle?
We invite you into her home. What is this?
We're not gonna do her any harm. We just need to ask her something,
group to goddess, just us.
We look, this is not normal, cordon, to invite guests over.
You didn't invite us into your home.
You imprisoned us in your home the second you locked that door.
Okay, we're not fools.
That's also true.
I'm not going to maintain an illusion
that you didn't even try to maintain.
Yes, we want some pre-dinner drinks with the goddess.
Not.
It's cocktail, our buddy.
It's cocktail hour buddy. It's cocktail hour. You see
cordone from under jajas, snares, we do not take orders from those who should be
honored to be in a gold dragon's horde. You see he lets out a little hiss and you see he begins expanding and
You see he quickly pushes
jaw jaw off him stands up is about eight feet tall turns into this gold
dragonborn
wearing like plate mail with a large sword to his side and he draws a sword and he holds it towards you.
We need to talk to the glittering lady,
the world is at stake.
You can let us pass or we can prove to you
why we're the heroes that are right for this job.
Everybody go ahead and roll this special.
Okay, so it's, okay, yeah.
I got a 21.
That's a 14.
17. Moonshine, you act I got a 21. That's a 14. 17.
Moonshine, you act first with a 21.
You see as Bev makes that threat at the very end,
cordone lunges forward,
but you're a little quicker on the jump.
Okay. It was in a threat.
It was just aggressive diplomacy.
Okay, then I guess I'll just a guardian of nature.
And actually, I'll just go into fungal form.
That's all I'll do. Okay. And I'll do guardian of nature. And actually, I'll just go into fumble form. That's all I'll do.
Okay.
And I'll do guardian of nature on my hat.
Sweet.
Moonshine goes into fumble form.
Wait, if I do that, then at least POPPOP gets to attack.
Broom!
Nice.
POPPOP is a personal.
I didn't want to go into fumble form
because I thought that it would seem aggressive, but.
Hey, he changed forms on us.
Yeah, he changed forms on us.
I should have done it before him.
Okay.
Talk about two-faced.
Oh, Papa's next to me, so does a 24-hit.
Yes.
13 damage.
16 damage.
16 damage, Papa gets up, bites into him.
You see his scales spread out,
and Papa's able to draw some blood.
Ah, get this little red off of me.
16 damage and I'm also gonna assume this dude
ain't gonna be slinging spells for now at least.
So I'm going to do also my 24 damage.
You spores him for 24, you see the acid
eating away at his scales.
Oh, small folks, so savage.
Dang, your goal looks like it could use a polish, huh?
You look like you could use a polish in your manner.
You're the one who started this.
I wasn't, I didn't go into common control.
I started and you dropped a turtle on me.
I got.
You dropped a big turtle on me.
Yeah, that's true.
It was a joke, dude.
Oh my god.
I hate jokes.
Babe, that's your turn.
There's no helping him.
Okay.
Yeah, I think I'll try to since we're all in a small room and there's not a lot of movement
needed, maybe I'll see if I can get Jojo to press on him again to give me advantage on
his tax.
Okay, so yeah, so he's just helping you.
Yeah, just help action.
Great.
So Jojo drops down on him again. Yeah, just help action great. So Jojo
Drops down on him again. Oh, you know I hate that
Oh my gosh, you fell for it twice. It's hilarious the second time. Okay, does a
25 hit. Yes, and I'll go and do a second level smite on this one great cool
That's 17 on the first hit cut into him burst of holy energy. The wings on bird slayer extend out and I say, well, you're not exactly a bird, but you'll have to do.
I hate birds. Well, I'm a bird owner. On this, we are united, my friend.
Yeah, seriously, why didn't you just side with us? Why do you have to be doing weird arcane laboratory shit?
That's a 30 to hit hits.
15 more damage.
This is hard because he was so cute when we first met him.
He's still pretty cute, he's very charismatic.
Now he's just tall and handsome.
So he's kind of hot.
Yeah.
Is he still wearing his Butler outfit?
Did it stretch with him?
He just has a little bow tie, but the rest of him is,
he does look like a dragon boy.
He looks like a giant gold stripper right now.
Yeah, sorry, sorry to specify,
but actually what I'm seeing is he still has a bow tie
and a combat bond.
Everything else wanna work, but the combat bond
is also still there.
He is so proper, he doesn't even know what a stripper is,
so it is completely lost on him.
What are you talking about?
Shit, moonshine, welcome to your bachelor at.
I look like a gentleman knight.
Yeah.
I mean, gentleman knight.
Does he look like a draconic Channing Tatum?
How dare you.
He does because he's buff.
He's going to go ahead and take.
Channing Tatum's most identifiable feature.
He's buff.
If you're buff, you look like Channing Tatum.
He's going to take a couple cracks at Bev.
You see, first thing he does is bonus action.
You see, he holds his sword out and it begins glowing
with a gold aura.
Looks like he has some kind of smite thing.
I will show you how to fight with class and honor.
Damn, look at that hip-nume movement.
Swings on Bev. I don't know how a dragon can have abs, but at that hip-nume movement. Swings on Bev.
I don't know how a dragon can have abs, but he does, and I love it.
First one is a 20 to hit.
That misses. Nice.
That misses you block with your sword.
Bird Slayer gets in the way.
He sneers as he gets close to you.
That is a 26 to hit on the next attack.
That's getting hit.
Okay, I'll just get all the attacks out at once. And the last one is a 26 to hit on the next attack. Okay, I'll just get all the attacks at once,
and the last one is a 24 to hit.
So he hits twice.
Jojo rushes to my aid, and I tell him to stand down.
I'll take the hits.
All right, dad.
I don't like to see you getting bullied.
This isn't bullying.
He's dancing for me.
This is a private show.
Across both attacks with this smiting thing. He does 67 damage to you. Whoa. Oh
Josh, I'll be ready next time
67 67 yeah hard one that is your turn you the smallest one of all
Easy does it I might I might be a little smaller than you,
but I think I'm at least twice as sexy.
I'm a sachet with my hammer spinning around.
And do sort of like hold it like a baton,
do river dance towards him and then swing three times.
Nice.
30 and a 32, and then the other is a 19.
Does a 19 hit him? They all three hit. Oh
19 does hit interesting
So that's 71 damage damn
Yeah, you see he has his armor
But it looks like he's wearing armor, but his scales are just so thick
Hard one you smash your hammer into his chest and you feel it cave a little bit
and you see it spread and you see a little bit of blood coming out of his mouth.
Not so sexy now, are you?
Unrefined, but effective, I'll admit.
Delightfully tacky and unrefined, yes.
I'm going to bet on our diplomacy and hope that I don't have to use my second action
surge against the glittering lady, so I'm going to use it right now.
Woo-hoo-hoo!
Okay, yeah, you surge and I'm going use it right now. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Okay, yeah, use surge and I'm gonna hoard my spells
because I am a little spell for and a little nervous.
Okay, that's all three of those are also gonna hit.
That's a 26, a 30 and a 22.
Okay.
66 damage.
Ooh, you see, he goes from looking very tough
to looking not on Death Store,
but injured, breathing heavy blood coming out
of the side of his mouth.
That is Boundor's turn, Boundor go at him.
A nice mature stripper.
Boundor hits twice for a total of 29 damage.
Show them how it's done.
And that is back around to moonshine.
Okay, as I said, I'm not spell poor,
but I feel like we may need some spells,
so I'm just gonna keep attacking.
I am going to rage because my hat is concentrating on my spell. Okay, so I am going to rage because my hat is concentrating
on my spell.
Okay, so I am going to rage and I'm going to also take a gamble
and great weapon master.
Oh, okay.
Take the minus five.
Nice.
Nat 20.
Oh, I got grit. I got a crit.
I got crit.
Which means I'm gonna get another attack after this.
She's done.
Kill the stripper, Moontine.
Well, I can't do the kind of damage that y'all can,
but when I crit, it feels good.
But when you crit.
44 damage, then I get to attack again.
Awesome.
Also going to hit. So 44 damage then 35 damage then I
spores him for 24 then pop-hop goes in there. Oh my god. Get out dude.
Pop-hop gets a 23 to hit. Jesus. So then pop-hop does. Oh pop-hop runs really well. Pop then Papa does. Oh Papa, I rolled really well. Papa does another 17 damage.
Hell yeah.
Critting with Graeme Webbing Master and buffed.
Oh, I didn't even add my rage.
You guys take this guy from looking super buff and healthy and fearsome to looking incredibly
tired and injured to moonshine.
You take him down to Death's Door,
and then you see Papa latches onto his neck,
and Cordone falls down onto his back.
Would you like to do lethal damage,
or what would you like to do to him?
You see, blood is coming out of the side of his mouth,
and he goes, go on, then do it, do it.
If I was you, maybe I would, but I say we just time up and put him in the bathtub.
Yep.
Yep.
He's not gonna fit right now.
Don't put me in the bathtub.
You're going in the bathtub.
You're a real tragic Mike and you deserve to go in the bathtub.
Yeah, the thing is I think you'd get, I think you'd be into it if we killed you for a righteous
cause.
So instead we're going gonna put you in the bathtub
for no good reason.
Hit the showers.
Hit the showers.
Do we wanna tie him up in everything?
Yeah.
Yeah, let's tie him up with, let's tear all the bed sheets
and tie him up though. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Oh, stop. Stop. To go into that, let me get the spare sheets. There's spare sheets too. We'll get those also.
No, no, no, no, no.
You open cabinets and you find all these sheets
and you tie up cordone and throw him in the bathtub.
Does everyone feel good about this?
Was anyone thinking we should finish him off?
Part of it is that I think he's kind of cute,
so I like him a little bit.
My goal is still to win to win this lady over
if we possibly can.
And if it comes up, we can say yes, we battled
because he began a battle with us
because you also locked us up, but we showed mercy
because we want, okay, cool, cool.
That's right.
Great.
Hardwaren, can you get a quick painting of us showing mercy?
Yeah, I'll do a quick oil painting of us showing mercy and I hang it above the bed.
He's got more evidence.
A raw untethered style.
I hate it.
Um, I put some, I put some, uh, some floating mushrooms on lily pads in the, uh, bathtub.
I'm not a frog.
I stacked some fig newtons right on his chest in case he wants to frog them in with his tongue.
I upper deck the toilet real quick before we get it to.
Please, shit in the correct part of the toilet.
I am going to shit while I'm in here.
I did.
I shit exactly on the upper deck.
I look in my pocket for a good, a good piece, frog bumper sticker.
And I saw him on his chest.
Oh, damn, if you got a piece,
frog bumper sticker, I'm a one, two.
I'll see you in the car.
It's been a pleasure.
Sweet, so you guys have this giant tied up dragonborn
in a bathtub.
What do you guys do? Moon Trunch, we head back to that room you were telling us about?
Yeah, I think we should.
Everyone, I'm gonna stay in my fungal form.
Hopefully she doesn't understand that that's an active aggression from me.
I can just pretend like that.
You know, you gave her mushrooms and she loved it.
So if anything, yeah, it's sort of like, Oh, you anything Yeah, you like that about more that we dressed up for dinner. That's what we did
That's a from cocktail hour. Yeah, so everyone like I think keep your shit activated
But let's maybe just pretend like we wanted to come have cocktails before dinner. Can I call and hide my dwarf daddies?
Go ahead and give me a deception check.
That's really fun.
Hey guys, just like low key party,
we're gonna try to sneak you guys into the back door.
That's a 15.
Okay.
Alright, men, I'll be cool.
I'll be so quiet that just walk the party.
We're just here to party, that's all.
I take the bow tie off of Cordon and I put it on Jaja.
Okay.
Acta Kees and honored guests.
Oh yes, like we're dressing up for cocktail hour and that is dark. I take the bow tie off of Cordon and I put it on Jaja. Okay. Acta Kees and honored guests.
Oh, yes.
Like we're dressing up for cocktail hour and that is our-
Yes, we just came to party.
That is the entirety of our intentions in this moment.
Indeed.
What, you don't like to party?
Maybe we should show up with cocktails.
That's a good idea.
Maybe we show up with mixers and like a light buzz.
Not like we're out of control, but just like I want to show up with mixers and like a light buzz. Not like we're out of
control, but just like I want to show up a little loose. Okay, we get like a little
quick water going lubricated. Yeah. Yeah, let's look for some vessels so that we're
showing up really as into skies as possible. I hope the cocktail little as we're brewing
it. We got to make sure it's good. Okay. So yeah, I guess let's go to the place where she was.
Sweet, are you guys still thing are being sneaky or rushing? What are you guys doing?
It's maybe wrong, but I don't know, y'all. I do still kind of believe in the diplomatic
angle. If she had turned Luna into a sword, maybe I wouldn't believe in the diplomatic
angle, although she is going to turn.
She killed one of her enemies, yeah.
Yeah, she killed one of her, I don't know.
Okay, we're all in agreement.
I don't need to worry about this.
The diplomacy till we die.
You guys walk down the hallway.
As we're walking though,
I do wanna keep an eye out for like anyone
who might be spying on us or would attack us.
Yeah, like a harp or a toaster
or maybe like a in-table with eyes.
Okay, nefarious fucking toaster.
Go ahead and you may perception check.
Ooh, that's beautiful.
That is gonna be a 30.
Yo.
Let's use my five.
You do see that there is a potted plant
that is looking at you.
Oh, this is so fucked up. Can I, can I just kill a potty?
Not kill, like knock it out.
I'll try, I can, I can drape my cloak over it or something.
Oh, okay, yeah, we could do that.
That's just, don't do that.
No, you throw a cloak over it.
Trust me, it's better than the alternative, buddy.
Yeah, I don't know.
Okay, yeah, we keep going.
We drape the potted plant, keep going.
I'm not sure he didn't want the other.
Just pockets just goes, I mean, just in the bag, it's a plant, it doesn't, I mean, it
needs sunlight and stuff, but it would probably be fine for him.
All right, put it in there and then everybody breath in the bag to give it a little CO2.
Okay. Also, just for the back to give it a little CO2. Yeah.
Also, just for the back to water it.
For the future, if we could have a sentient
potted plant, that actually is really, really something
I'm into.
Sam, oh yeah, I love looking after animals and plants
and stuff.
It's my great joy.
Yeah, nurturing is the first thing that comes in my mind
when I think of you, hard one.
Bound or puts a potted plant into the, into the bed.
Nice.
And you guys continue down the tower.
And when you enter this main hall again,
you see that none of the other beings are around,
but you do see that Talaine has just re-entered
from the hallway that she was down
and she sees you guys as you enter
and she goes, oh, did cordone send you down already?
Dinner is not ready yet.
We thought about it'd be nice to do a cocktail hour.
Yeah.
Dinner, it's a tradition.
You've shown us hospitality,
so our hospitality is like a cocktail hour,
like a traveling one.
Yep.
I start shaking to Martini Shakers.
Guys, go ahead and give me a deception check.
That is going to be a 16.
You see she narrows her eyes.
What have you done with cordone? All right, I'll be
playing with you. Cordone tried to lock us in a room, which we felt like that was a really strange
thing. And so it made us kind of not trust him. I don't know what your relationship if you trust
your employees or not, but I didn't I'm assuming that you did not intend for him to do something like
that. I don't know if you felt threatened you did not intend for him to do something like that.
I don't know if he felt threatened by our presence, perhaps me being so forthcoming about
Melora, made him turn on us, but your employee did do that to us.
So we didn't want to wrap him out to you, but...
And you know what, slight aside, because we're a little miff that we got locked in a room,
but it's fine.
We just give a lot of a shit about the realm of Bahumia and Malora.
So we didn't feel like sticking around in the room and waiting was what we needed.
Yeah. Yeah. Time isn't on our side in this. We have to talk to you.
We really wanted to talk to you more.
You guys see she begins slowly walking towards you. It is just like the followers of Melora to bend over backwards
for the plight of the small folk at the cost of everyone else. You come to my home, my prison, you attack my
butler and you want me to give you my heart, the thing that gave me the power to become a gold dragon, a dragon lost because the followers
of Melora let the giants kill them off.
If you want my heart, you can do what your goddess did and break it yourself.
You see her face begins to extend as she morphs and expands into the form of a
gold dragon.
Oh.
There was no diplomatic option. There was no diplomatic option.
We did our best. We tried to pull.
We tried. We really tried. Let it be known.
We really gave it a go.
Hey, Tulane, let it be known with tried.
Malorra won once and she's about to do it again.
Go ahead and roll initiative.
Alrighty.
Ooh, a leaven.
16, that is a natural one.
I came to party.
And I'm gonna fucking party.
Oh man, you huffed a lot more than you said.
Can I see as she was changing?
Did it look like a spell or did it look
more like a wild shape?
Gold dragons can just turn themselves into humanoid.
Okay.
It sounds like from what she just told you that she used her divine heart to make herself
a gold dragon because she loved dragons.
I see.
As she turns into this giant gold dragon, you guys also see that the world around you
begins to change because this is all kind of her magic fairy tale place.
You see the beautiful day outside, it instantly turns dark and creepy and it begins raining outside.
The band of boobs
stand before an ancient gold dragon.
An initiative 20.
That is the glittering ladies' layer action.
You see she fixes her gaze on moonshine.
You guys are in this dark room right now.
There's no natural light outside.
You see her eyes begin to glow gold
and begin to swirl.
moonshine, go ahead and give me a charisma saving throw.
Woo! That's gonna be a dirty 20,
oh, nope, a 25 if I get to add five.
Your eyes meet her gaze and you feel yourself
start to lose consciousness and begin to awaken
in like this weird flickering reality.
It looks like for a second you're in the Fey Wild
in some like strange area of the Fey Wild,
and then you come back and find yourself back in this castle.
Why'd you go after me, huh?
I remind you of her.
You don't remind me of anyone.
That is Beverly Stern.
I draw my sword.
I feel like she's not listening to reason right now,
so we're gonna need to at least,
you know, show her the reason of steel for a moment.
So I rush forward, I hop on Jaw Jaw's back
so I can use his movement and I get right up in the mix.
And as I slash at her, I say,
you've built yourself a beautiful palace,
but it's a palace of lies nonetheless.
This is a painting.
It's what you want to see, not the truth.
And if you want, let us open your eyes,
then I'm sorry, but we'll have to take what you have by force.
And I attack.
I got a 25.
That hits.
Who, boy?
Running low on smites?
Uh, I'll do a first level one, though.
Uh, 19 damage on the first hit.
Nice.
I'm gonna a true strike on this one.
Okay.
I got a 20!
Woo!
I charge my sword up with holy energy and I say, it's time you broke through this canvas
and saw what was really at stake.
And I slash into her.
Fuck yeah.
50 damage.
Woo.
And now Jojo's gonna breathe steam on her.
Okay dad.
It's kind of nice that you became a father.
This is a big dragon.
You can't take so much without giving a little, you know?
It's a lot of responsibility, but I'm doing my best, you know?
I think you're doing a great job.
You would dare in prison this beautiful dragon turtle baby.
Oh shit.
I'm not in prison, that's my dad. I point to her and say,
Jojo, use your breath weapon if you want. Okay. She's what kind of check does she
make? I look at pop on. I say you are a prisoner.
It's a it's a constitution saving throw DC 13. Probably gonna pass this. Yes, she passes.
Cool.
Ah, so you chose not to.
I respect that decision, Jojo.
Ha ha ha ha.
I tried.
I think she still takes half.
11 damage.
Sweet.
Can I take a bonus action real quick?
Yeah, I'll just go ahead and cast
Shield of Faith on moonshine.
Sweet.
What does that mean?
Just plus two AC.
Oh, cool.
Shout out to the two crew twice.
That's my new AC.
As as Bev holds his hand up and puts a holy shield
in front of moonshine, you see the gold dragon sneers.
You're all friends now, but just wait and see
what happens when you have to start making difficult decisions. When you have to choose
between your friendship and the world and the things you believe in, and maybe then you
won't be shielding each other. She's going to flap a wing down as a legendary action. Just says that and then tries to smack you
just stupidly with a wing.
Antico-macto!
Shut up.
Dragon beats its wings.
Each creature within 15 feet of the dragon must succeed
on a DC 25 saving throw.
So it's just bev right now,
cause bev's the first one who ran up.
Decks saving throw.
Decks, okay, oh great, I gotta get to use my shield on this.
Yeah, so you hold your shield up
and you use it to try to block the wind
that's coming at you.
Just a 21.
A 21.
Jaja and Bev are blown back by the force
of this massive wing.
You guys hit the ground hard for 18 damage and skitter across the floor and
lands like at hard one in moonshine's feet. That is the gold dragon's turn. I've
set you up now to smell you into beautiful golden figures for my garden. You are
making this hard to work with you.
Real quick, how do I check to see if concentration holds?
It's half the damage.
Half of the damage.
So that would be nine.
And I got to roll a con check against nine.
Okay.
I got a 14.
Great.
I'm good.
Great.
Okay.
So Bev, even though you're knocked down and injured,
even though you feel yourself hurt,
you hold your hand up and maintain the shield on moonshine.
It appears there's a little spectral bow tie right on her neck.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
This is stylish.
Then Talaine is first going to use her frightful presence.
Everybody go ahead and give me a wisdom saving throw.
With advantage because of heat grows, Feast.
Oh shit, you guys are immune to fear.
Is it immune?
What you have, it might be a meal.
Creatures, cure to fall diseases and poison becomes,
ah, none of us even need to roll
because we are immune to being frightened.
Yes.
Wow, awesome.
Fucking still thinking about that breakfast.
Yeah.
We all burp up a little bit of breakfast per day.
Soap or baby.
I feel just like safe.
All the beans swirling inside me.
The power of friendship saves you once again.
Bev keeps the shield going.
You guys all burp and are reminded of the delicious heroes
feast that moonshine prepared this morning
and your resolve is steeled and you are not frightened.
But everybody go ahead and give me a dexterity saving throw as she lets out a breath of fire
onto all of you.
For Moonshine, that is going to be a 20.
I got a 23.
Dirty 20 for me as well.
Do we get to add anything for Beverly for the Dexiv?
Plus five.
Oh, then I got a 28.
Okay.
It's your within 10 feet of me.
Papa got a 25.
Okay.
Papa and hard one are able to kind of roll out of the way.
I'll even say,
Papa like jumps up
and tackles hard one as the breath is coming.
Rear!
Thank you for always being there for me,
my possum brother.
Oh, it is actually fire damage.
So, Bev, your resistance, everyone takes 34,
except for moonshine who takes 67.
47.
Jajels down.
You guys see, Jaja disappears out of existence.
My son!
Wow.
The sweet strong son!
You killed one of your kind, huh?
A better gift.
Mad at him.
Yeah.
Okay, first off, I just want to ask you real quick,
what is this a prison?
Is this such a prison?
Y'all like this plane.
I'm genuinely asking because I'm curious
because what you're saying makes me feel a little bit sad.
And so I want to understand,
is this demy plane is this a prison?
Yes, the dragons.
Is it a prison because you don't have access to a world
where you can eat small folk
or is there literally, if you fly in a certain direction,
you can reach the edge of this
world.
Moulinara gave me a choice and I sided with the dragons and I was banished.
What was the choice she gave you?
What did she, how did she phrase it?
I want to understand this from other than just your perspective. She saw wisdom in the God's original decision to not intervene on the material plane.
To not intervene to say...
I think we should use our powers for good.
So you got banished because you tried to fight the humans for the sake of the dragons.
She nods.
Okay, well, this is only going to hurt if you insist on continuing to
fight us. And I touch her and I cast contagion. Oh, so she's going to need to do it at the
end of each of her turn. So she automatically gets the, which disease do you want to do?
I'm going to do, I'm going to do flesh rot. You do, I'm gonna do flesh rot.
You see? I mean, like there is like a temptation
to do something really personal
and make it her so that she can't fly.
But if she insists on fighting us,
we're gonna need all the help we can get.
So.
If you're doing flesh rot, yeah, you see her scales begin to dull
as this strange film develops over her.
What have you done?
What have you done to me?
The beauty, the beauty of the gold dragon.
If you insist upon fighting us,
this will get worse and worse
until it starts to hurt.
At the end of your turn.
And I'm not going to a sparser
and Papa is not going to a sporeser and pop pot is not going to attack.
Okay, just to try to make a show of diplomacy.
She is going to use a legendary action
to take a tail attack on you, Moonshine.
That hits, that's a 31 to hits.
19 damage to you, Moonshine.
You are walloped in the stomach with this tail.
That is hard one's turn.
Strange, because what I did to you,
I can just add a moment's notice, undo,
but I don't think you're gonna give me those hit points back, huh?
You were just like the others who came before.
You're here for my heart.
We're here for your help.
Ooh, I like that.
We're not just trying to use you for your heart.
I understand, we all understand that you made
hard decisions and you think that we haven't been put
to the test, but this guy fought his dad,
this elf right here killed her fucking aunt.
I lost my girlfriend.
She's got a new boyfriend in heaven, by the way,
so that fucking hurts.
I'm just saying, we've been put through the ringer,
and we're still trying to save the world.
If you're gonna try to fight us, we're gonna fight you.
So fucking, I'm gonna swing my hammer out of here.
No, that's good. That's the right instinct.
That is two crits.
Chees!
Yeah! Wow.
And does a 20 dirt, does a dirty 20 hitter?
A dirty 20 does not hit her.
Okay, so well, look at that.
67 damage.
I get to roll two more times because it's a great weapon.
Oh God, because a great weapon's fighting.
Wait, weapon faster.
Wait, weapon's fighting.
We weapon master.
How old? What happens if I crit again? I think it's weapons fighting. We weapon master. How long?
What happens if I crit again?
I think it's the language of gray weapon master
is that it's a as a bonus action.
Yes, you get another, yeah.
So I'm saying that you only get one.
I think they just do your crit damage, yeah.
59 damage.
And then the dwarf daddies.
Right, she'll make a wisdom saving throw.
I invited them to the party.
Um, was are we still being quiet?
We still thinking this might be the good one.
No, no, no, party's out, the party's out.
Party's over, everyone, everybody go home.
She is going to make a wisdom saving throw.
She got a, ooh, only a 14, DC on it is 15,
so she fails.
Wow.
She will take your, oh, it's like 5-D-8.
Yeah, make fuck, that's 32.
Okay, she'll have it.
Berna, Legendary Resistance.
Yes!
Yes!
Thank you, God!
God is good, Malore.
I just saw you.
I just saw you in this woman's pain.
Yeah, hard one.
You see as you make this plea to her,
you see she is affected by it, but she, it just anger's her.
And she smears, and you wind up, and you swing into her
with all the might and the resolve of the heroes of Bohumia
and do quite a bit of damage to her.
She is going to go ahead and once again do another wing attack.
So this is only going to affect hard one and moonshine,
because you guys are up close.
So she bats her wings at you guys.
Go ahead and give me a deck saving throw.
Ooh, yeah, 27.
Do we get Bebs aura?
No, because he's back.
Okay.
He's not gone since he got knocked back.
15.
Oh, then without Bebs aura, I got a 22.
Okay, both of you guys are blown back and knocked prone.
And you guys both take 16 damage.
Okay.
And you guys crash on the floor next to Bev.
Oh gosh.
As this giant gold dragon begins flying up in the air, that is bound or turn.
Not a Murph real quick, I just want to let you know I rolled Constitution on that last hit
I took and shield of faith did drop
unfortunately. Okay, so you guys see the shield. My
pho tie disappears. You guys see the shield in front of
moonshine disappears. Your greatest indignity yet lady.
She goes see your friends will fail you. You've got no
taste. Your paintings are tacky. Your mural sucks.
You've got no taste! Your paintings are tacky, your mural sucks! How dare you!
That is Balnor's turn. She has, after using the wing attack, she's able to use 15 feet of flying movement.
Balnor is forced to throw chivalens.
Throw them like moonshine. Like hard one through moonshine.
Yeah.
Tight spiral beam. I went through moonshine. Yeah. Tights by Roby. I'm saying. Bound or hits with a John L.Way vortex javelin for big nine damage.
Actually, it's even, it's halved because it's not a magical weapon.
Oh wow.
That was embarrassing, guys.
Nobody tell anyone I did that.
I've come so far and yet here I am.
On initiative 20, we are back up to the layer action.
You see, she begins glowing gold
and gets like the golden eyes that she had before
and her eyes begin to roll back.
And then you see a third eye up here in the middle of her head
and you don't know what that does.
Did it look like a spell?
No, it's a layer action.
Okay.
That is Beverly's turn.
I think I'll just attack if that's okay with y'all.
Yeah.
Great.
You'll need to use Misty Step or something to like fly up into the air because she's up in the air right now. Gladly.
Um, I address her, I make my voice as loud as possible and try not to crack.
And I say, don't you see?
We don't want this either.
If this heart means so much to you, we'll give it back when we're done.
We have work to do.
We can't stay in some palace surrounded by sick offense.
We have things that need to happen,
things that need to be done.
People, we need to save.
And as I'm talking, I missed a step.
And the last line is from behind her neck.
Awesome.
Awesome.
Yes. That is a 22 to hit behind her neck. Awesome. Yes.
That is a 22 to hit. That hits.
Great.
I'll use my last first level smite.
Ooh.
29 on the first hit.
Sweet.
Yeah, you stab in with this first hit, divine smite,
send a shock of radiant energy through her.
She roars in fury and she goes, you wish to borrow a divine
heart. And what would all of you do when you had this power? Do you think you would stay
friends? Do you think you you wouldn't change that everything would stay the same that you
can you can change for the better. Change is not inherently bad. In fact,
it's inherently great. I agree. And that is why I think Melora's indifference is wrong.
I saw the dragon's plight and I took action. We are not necessarily going to do, we are not
necessarily going to do precisely what Melora did. We did not represent whatever she does,
or whatever she did to you in the past.
We are going to make our own decisions
and decide what is right to do with this.
All we know right now is the only course of action
is just getting rid of Theala.
We've got a lot in common with you.
Yeah.
You saw the plate of the dragons
and you made a choice to defend them.
We see the plate of our people, a small folk, and we want to defend them.
Guys, go ahead and give me a group persuasion check.
Mmm.
Who's got the best persuasion?
I'm plus two.
I got plus eleven and I'm whisperin right in her ear
Okay, I'm going to say
Her DC on most things is 24. This isn't with advantage
You guys are in the middle of this battle tensions are super high. She is starting to get
Injured so she does she's not near dead, but like you guys are proving yourselves
pretty capable. Bev stabs into her, hard one in moonshine,
plead with her, go ahead and make a persuasion check
with disadvantage, but canceled out regular
because you guys are all giving each other the help action.
Y'all cool with me rolling this?
Yeah, you have your best persuasion.
That's a 22. Y'all cool with me rolling this? Yeah, you have your best persuasion. That's a 22.
Yikes.
Okay.
Okay.
You see that you, Bev, you're up by her face
and she's letting out these big golden tears,
but she's just like in fury.
I am the one who changed.
I changed.
She stayed the same.
Bev, you could take your second attack
if you would like.
I don't.
Okay.
So you're gonna,
do you want to like hang on to her?
Yeah.
I don't want to hang on.
And just kind of like keep gripping her.
Almost as if I'm like hugging her.
I'm like maybe even like stroking her carapace
a little bit.
Okay.
It's okay.
She starts bucking trying to get you.
Not your fault.
It's not your fault.
Go with hunting.
Hey, wait, Balnor, you haven't given a speech yet.
You have the floor.
Here's the thing.
I was asleep for a lot of the stuff that was happening.
And I baffled right now.
Is this, she's crying, but she's bad.
What is, where are we at here?
You know what it's a bad cocktail hour for sure.
I think while we're while we're bringing out all our all our heavy hitters pop out take
the floor.
Whoa.
Yeah, you ready to litigate?
We're here for us.
We're here.
We're here.
We're here.
I never thought about it that way.
Meir. My eyes are whilling up.
My throat is like closing with emotion.
Oh.
Oh.
I minor illusion a Kennedy Center Honors Medal
and put it on pop-off.
Here's what I'm gonna allow.
I'm gonna say,
Mangy Little Papa,
who took damage
from the dragon weapon
Papa's like on death stories like breathing super heavy
Scramble's up to moonshine side you guys are all
Standing together in your resolve. I will tell you guys I will give you guys a deal
You guys can make another persuasion check. I'll put the DC down to 20
If you guys take a full round of
attacking off
if you fail
I'll do it. You know we got a okay. So you guys all
circle up you
lower your defenses
Go ahead and give me a
Persuasion check and if we fail she does a full round of attacking us with an else doing no response correct
Wow, okay
Come on everyone bohumia
Here comes that nat
20 Here comes that nat 20 that is a nat 11 plus 11 that is 22 even better
shout out to the dude who tries nice um she's pretty she's pretty dang messed up um you
see she leans forward to like snap at you moonshine. Fight me. Fight me."
See, tears coming down. We've said all we need to say. We've done all we need to do.
Yeah, I guess at this point, saving Bohumia is on your shoulders because either you help us,
or you defeat us the last hope of Bohumia. So if you really want to choose this moment
to finalize your grievances against Melora, maybe you have the perfect opportunity.
We're not going to fight you. Fial is our enemy.
You see, she just collapses in a big heap of dragon and just begins crying.
I would love nothing more than a Bahumia with dragons in the sky.
Fuck yeah, that sounds awesome.
Do an insight, check on me.
I guarantee that is an upgrade. Yeah, do it. Bev, Doing an insight check on me. I guarantee that is, oh, that is an upgrade.
Yeah, do Bev, cast on a truth on me,
but all he has to me about the dragons.
Yes.
You see, she's got the big like golden tears in her eyes
and she goes, I believe you.
If you were a dragon rider once,
you know better than anyone that there can be
an amazing relationship between small folk and dragons.
If I help you, I would ask for one thing. Go ahead. I would like an audience with Melora.
I could definitely make that happen.
I think I just got some good graces from her when I saw her. I gave her a little boon. I
think she's trying to pay me back. And I don't have anything
else to ask of her. So that'll be what I ask for. She nods.
And then you see slowly, her scales begin to shimmer
gold as she begins shrinking, shrinking, shrinking until
she returns to her humanoid form.
You see this, a ladren woman holds her hand out and in it floats a glowing yellow rock,
a piece of Melora's divine heart.
I will miss the sky, but perhaps if you can do some good with this, it will undo any
damage that I've done.
You're a druid.
You don't ever have to miss this guy.
She smiles and nods.
Is it like Play-Doh that you just grab a chunk or?
It's a little bit like Play-Doh.
Oh, honestly, it's kind of just something intuitive.
If all three of you were to touch it and felt your true intentions.
All right, y'all, should we one big touch hands?
One big touch hands?
I've been waiting.
Paul, I'll get your paw on here.
Ha ha ha ha.
Can we get Paul's paw on there?
Do you guys want the paw on there?
I mean, for me, my standard, he is the most noble of creature
I've ever met.
Sweet.
He's fighting shoulder to shoulder with us.
See you see you guys reach out and touch the divine heart.
Papa reaches out and touches the divine heart.
Correct.
Little Paws.
And Valnor reaches in to touch the divine heart.
Moonshine, in this moment, what are you thinking?
I think I'm thinking, Melora, we're gonna take a bit off your plate.
And Bohumia, we are gonna fill your skies with super nice dragons.
You guys see part of the divine heart breaks off and goes into moonshine and moonshine
glows
with a golden glow.
What is Beverly thinking right now? Beverly thinks about his friends, his parents,
Irland,
but more so he thinks about all of Bahumia and the scars that the all has left in it.
And he thinks about healing those scars and he touches the heart.
You see another piece of it breaks off and fills Beverly with golden energy.
Hard one.
What do you think in this moment?
Hard one thinks about the family that he chose,
his brothers and sisters standing next to him.
He thinks about the adventures that came before them
and the choices that they made that fucked up the world
and he thinks no matter what happens,
I'm just going to remember this moment and know that we all went into this with the best
intentions and no matter what anybody chooses from now on it's with love and their heart
and then I'm going to wink at pop-up and tell them not to tell Kau Kau.
And then I'm gonna wink at Papa and tell him not to tell Kau Kau. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha as the band of boobs have become Titans of Bahumia
and that's where we'll end our session. Thank you, Daddy.
Thank you, Daddy.
The titular Titans.
The titular Titans.
Sweet guys.
That feels good.
Wow.
Wow.
I just wanna say for the record,
I didn't know we were doing speeches at the end
when we got our divine hearts and I feel like mine.
I thought I was just like, okay, this is the end. Everyone
else like got a moment to think of their great speeches. So, you know, Murph, what do you
first, because he knows you're, you're better on your face. You actually went out, which
is shows a level. Murph and I had a zoom dinner. Yeah. We went out to a zoom dinner last night
and we wrote mine. Yeah. I see Murph a Google doc. Uh, any, he gave us a message. I didn't
have a benefit of a couple, like a, a go, you know, a minute's breath to
a conical. Do you want to go now?
Do you want to go now?
Yeah.
The law we're going to help you in bohemia.
We're going to fill you sky with super nice dragons.
Fuck, I did again.
Fuck shit.
That means it was perfect the first time.
Sweet.
Thank you guys so much for listening.
We'll be back next week with another episode in the meantime.
You can head out over to our Patreon if you want to listen to the After Show, patreon.com slash nad pod.
That's NADDPOD.
On the After Show, will you tell us what Papa was thinking when he took his divider?
Yeah, and Valnor.
Yeah, and Valnor.
Yeah, we got two more speeches on the show.
Yeah, two more speeches on the show.
Wow, and they're gonna have the benefit of even more time
to think of good speeches.
I will take this off you and fill your sky, fuck.
Well, you know, but see too much time
and then there's the speech can't rise to the occasion.
It feels inauthentic.
Absolutely.
Anybody have anything to plug?
This show.
This show.
I'll plug the next like four episodes.
Or listen to that part. Yeah. Two nits in next like four episodes. Listen to that. Yeah,
to an internet pod. It's getting real fun. I have to check out that
part. I will plug an adjacent property to nad pod, which is the
nad pod PO box. Point of warning, I guess a housekeeping note,
due to the state of things, we would ask maybe not to send anything to the PO box until
the pandemic is in a better spot and some of the restrictions have been lifted, but we
did have a big backlog of gifts that were sent to us in better times, I'll say.
So I will read out some shout outs from some fine folks that's in us things.
Great.
So we got to save the date
and a lovely letter from Alaina and Jonah
and we're getting married in Milwaukee.
Also, we'll be there.
Cute drawing of fungal papa.
We're wishing the very best
and we will be there in person to wish it the very best.
Shows are gonna be a little late
because we've got a just jam packed wedding schedule.
We got some nice tiny little sketches from 16-bit boy. Megan sent us a final fantasy
seven D&D mash-up tee specifically for Murph. I was about to try it on. Then I saw that
the note that it was for Murph. So, sorry, I'm going to have at it, my man.
So you still tried it on? I did. And I'm sorry, it's a little sweaty. I used a lot of deodorant to make sure
that it didn't get sweaty.
Oh, I didn't wear it.
Yeah, it's all caked in there now.
I'm so sorry.
Yeah, yikes.
Sam K, Sennas, heartfelt notes.
Also, a custom engraved shout out to the two crew dice.
So cool.
The world as well.
They're customized.
That's awesome.
It's so cool.
Mine says arguably lucky on the one, which is so good.
And I actually rolled that dice for that last persuasion check against the glittering
lady.
So thank you very much, Sam K, for saving the day.
They also send us a painted portrait of moonshine blowing or spores.
Yeah.
And they're also working on a NAD pod musical, apparently.
You can follow them at Sam underscore Canyon on Twitter in Insta for more information there.
Just a few more.
Let's see Justin S and it's a custom one shot called hidden heroes of the awakened woods.
Justin makes one shots in their spare time.
You can check them out spacedaddygames.com
for more of their work. Oh, this is great. Sam from Texas sent us the complete Blu-ray box set
of the Legend of Cora and Avatar, the last airbender. Yeah, baby. Thank you. I think a show we can
all agree is one of the the Titans of media. Just beloved by everyone. So we're very excited to all watch
that together. And last but certainly not least Ariel sent us a pop-up cross stitch that says
every day on scramble it. It's so cute and so sweet. It's awesome. It's great. But yes, thank you
all so much. I'll have more to shout out next time. But thank you so much for these gifts. It's really nice to be given kindness from afar,
especially in these trying times.
Yeah.
Thank you all.
We love you.
Jake, you got anything?
You know, I'll re-plug this show
with anybody for about a year or less.
You should really just check out NADPOT.
Startlis.
www.nadpod.com.
That's a one-day.
Could it recommend NADPOT enough?
Yeah. NADPOT.HD.com. Yes. That nad pod enough nad p o h d dot com that's our show
nad pod. Awesome. Thanks,
guys. We are we are. And you can
follow us on Twitter at CH
rifters. We at called the is
called well at the excerpt is
Emily and at chaker, which is
Jake and you can tweet about
the show using hashtag nad pod
that's nad p-d-d-p-o-d. We are the...
You, the musicians, we are the...
I heard it.
That's right.
Hello friends, called well here, it is the end of our show, which means it's time to
shout out Arpen Nevilleant, Council of Elders.
Let's get right to it.
Brad D, Dylan B, Danny P, Steelbreaker, and Samuel B.
Cordon Blues backup dancers.
They all have Scaly Sixpacks, where matching bow ties, and their shows at Smuggler's Bounty
are booked solid for the next three years.
Good luck getting in.
Beardman Dan, Adam R, Danielle, the Dastardly Dame, Alachard, and Alexander T. The glittering
ladies five enchanted forks.
She was planning on turning Luna into a sixth fork so that she could finally have a proper dinner party, but it would seem that Fate had other plans.
Haldoir Frostback, Jordan DJ, Jeffrey S, Cutter W, and Andrew M. The band of boobs speech
writing team. They each have a 30 in charisma and their wholly symbols are just Emmy and Oscar
statues that they've won for their
work.
Congratulations y'all, really outstanding job.
Shubritha Mushroom, Elena C, Mixologist Michael McDee, Balnor's boy, and Michael C.
Primal Alladron who went to Dragonwriting Camp with Talaine back in the day.
They all encouraged her to go pro and are super regretting
that decision right now. Justin I, Jacob C, Alaina M, Dana G, and Paul G, five other cobalt
servants who were preparing a beautiful dinner for the band of boobs. Ironically enough,
it was chicken cordon blue. Less ironic, the meal was extremely poison.
Damiel R. Destin C. Jive G. David T. and Aaron Sully. A crew of dragon-born guards that snuck
aboard the storm-born and ambushed the dwarven crew. With a six-pack of beer and some tunes,
that's right they're having a party and are currently all laughing at the drawings
hidden in hard ones secret compartment.
Sergio Salazar Sakurai Estes Aquani
Michael L. Traley the Kray-Fey, Jory S. and Pup Thoth
Chosen soldiers who all had their essences infused into trombones during the glittering ladies brief-lived scoff-aise. Adam H. Ryan, Erin G. Jake L. and Michael M.
The glittering ladies glam squad,
who honestly goes home covered in glitter every night.
That shit is hard to wipe away.
Big Buck, Richard X Machina, Sam L. Troy McSee, and Drew Nasty.
A group of dragon born on dead.
How cool is that to have both born and dead in your name?
Also they can wield two handed weapons with one hand, which is pretty tight.
Josh S, Nicholas C, Austin C, Kristen P, and Axel A, a friend group of enlightened swords. They have tons of stimulating banter and
all their group hugs deal slashing damage. Aw, cute. Mike H. Matthew E. Angel Gamer.
And Catherine S. Barrett Brisdens is strange children. Somewhere, far away, they all just
felt a sense of peace, closure, and cosmic retribution, but they don't know
why.
TJM, the gnome barbarian, trash the traveler, Robert F, pollen-magin the twins, and hunter
R. Wolf Team 6, an elite squadron of werewolves who just infiltrated the ceiling of the glittering
lady's castle and are on their way to save Luna.
Godspeed my furry friends. Zolo Doolo, Nick B, Burley T, Panama James and I am the Atlas.
A pantheon of possum gods who has been quiet until now.
But now that another possum has become a god, they may have to intervene.
Watch your back, Papa.
Colton B, J, CC Lulu, Papa. Colton B. Jay.
CC Lulu.
Aiden R.H.
And Robert P.
A class of Asimar teens who are rebelling against being fallen angels by just becoming angels
all over again.
Timmy R.
Blitzbrick Demetri.
Jay Dragonborn.
Zach C.
And Digital Burn 101.
Cobalt Butler is responsible for cleaning up the glittering ladies' giant golden tears.
Unfortunately, they are gooier than you think, and also totally worthless.
Lucas B. Jordan L. Touluth X. Mateo C. and Kazemir, the all-knowing.
Tulane's assistants, who actually did all the work creating her massive mural.
Tulane's version was just a bunch of stick figures and bubble letters that said,
Dragon's Rule.
Kaleelice, Barnes & Aitor, Christian A, Yens Christian T, and Luke H, a group of lesser
gins in the service of the glittering lady.
They're responsible for squeezing the essence out of fruit and vegetables and infusing them
into smoothies to ensure that the lady's complexion continues to glitter.
Dev and W. Shinowa B. Jared E. Persephone and Eric McDee.
The illusory architects of the glittering ladies mansion.
You'd think the golden toilets would be too chilly to sit on, but they're actually a
toasty 76 degrees.
Truly, these folks are the masters of their craft.
Reese and S, Eric and Andrea B, Jay Parker, Jonathan O and Austin M.R., a group of pacifist
bullywugs known as the Peace Frogs.
Legend says that they are the only people in all of Bohumia that actually know how to
make a proper peace sign.
Steven C. Maxwell C. Mike K. Omri M. and Kalam L. Elven co-workers who responsibly self-quarantine
to avoid spreading pestilence. Now they have all their meetings through a mythical teleconferencing
device known as Scripe. Scott D. No for the prodigy ranger, Mikunji, Dan, and the Red Rain.
A group of mermaid scouts known as the Aqua Marine Teens.
They keep doing their best to spread the organization, but it's a bit tricky because of how soggy
their handbook gets.
Richard C.
Karen T.
Curtis S.
Nathaniel P.
and Nikki W.
A group of sentient toasters who are part of the glittering
ladies' horde. They are great at music, but they put out some Cobb level improv. Andrew
B, Christopher B, Nicholas P, Kevin M, and Rahul N, Cordon Blues team of gold polishes.
And this is only the team for Winnie's in his tiny cobalt form.
There's about 40 more when he grows to 8 feet tall.
Maribel, the Kitty Morphing gnome, Joe McGee, Metta Amps, Atticus C, and Amy W. Bristens
team of angels who tried to attack the glittering lady.
They are now a paintbrush, a rumba, a pair of clogs, a Dutch oven, and an ash tray, respectively.
Grace G. Eric G. Michelle O. Gage M. and number one beverland fan, Jin R.
Pindergreens' physical therapist. Turns out he pulled his back to our hamstring, dislocated
his shoulders, and fractures his skull, not at a demolition derby, but by freaking out
too hard on his bullforks.
Lance, Feldannis, gone off.
I'm hopeless and Dave H.
Kakka's bird friends.
Kakka is admired and revered by his friends because he is so well cared for by his noble
owner.
But don't worry my feathered friends, hard one will adopt you too.
Run, run right now.
Redneck Ruff, Christian S, Jack L, Nick A, and Y Grek 32.
Pot Elementals, kind of like Aeros, but like SuperDank.
Fucking head high, mad kind of herb.
Authentic gonja from a dooby man. Smells like cinnamon my dude.
Alright. Michael K. M. Tingle the Bard, Kelvin Noodles and Esmi M. The four biggest
flowers growing out of Beverly's feet. Are you surprised he named them? You
really shouldn't be. And that's all our shout outs for this week. Thank you all so so much for listening. We will see you soon. Bye!