Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 97: Titans of the Realm (The Chosen Saga)
Episode Date: April 16, 2020The Band of Boobs inherit new powers from their Divine Hearts, then return to Gladeholm to prepare for Thiala! Moonshine gets a butler, Beverly learns about the wraith on the white horse, and... Hardwon reunites with Ol' Cobb. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music/Sound Effects Include:"Scary Ambiance" by ashleyxxpiano at Freesound.org."Pure Gold" by Emily Axford."A Glittering Reunion" by Emily Axford. "Selfless" by Emily Axford. "Fabric of Fate" by Emily Axford. "Snake Fight" by Emily Axford. "The Purge" by Emily Axford. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Goodbye, Sweeties.
Welcome to the campaign after the campaign.
This is not another D&D podcast.
Welcome back to Bahumia Everyone.
Bahumia. Bahumia.
I'm your Dungeon Master Brian Murphy joined by Jake Herwitz,
hard one short foot, Emily Axford,
moon shines seven, trees dried in Baywatch,
diving and hopefully soon, dragon riding.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
That's great.
That's great.
And then of course, we've got called Waltanner,
Beverly Togold the fifth a
Purposeful lad who's the dad of a turtis
Tertis man
I thought you were changing it to make it rhyme, but I'm you it didn't rhyme and you made up a word
What do you mean it's a turtis what's wrong?
I'm sure it was gonna turn us on the side of the road It didn't rhyme and you made up a word. What do you mean it's a turtis what's wrong?
You ever see a turtis on the side of the road? Truly the most uncomfortable word
Why is it to you R D I S?
They got big shill. There's a shill on your turtis. Oh, you have an accent. We forgot the couples from Maryland
You do you do sound like I had a teacher once you said robot Robert, and it sounds like whoever says, Robert would also say, Turtis.
Yeah.
Robert.
It was either, listen, it was either,
Tortis and Purpose or Turtis and Purpose.
So, you know, you take your pick.
Oh, I see.
Did you say, you went for the one with Turt in it.
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm still here.
I don't know.
I didn't hear Purpose.
I'm still absolutely baffled.
I'm still, yeah, processing it.
I should, I do it again. Could you, I can do it. I'm gonna do it again,. I'm still, yeah, processing it. Should I do it again?
Could you?
I can do it.
I'm gonna get a dude again,
but I think I'd like you to keep it the same.
Because I am into you committing to this.
All right, let's try it one more time, right?
I love this for you.
And of course, called Old Tanner.
Beverly Togo, the fifth, a purposeful lad
who's the dad of a turtis.
So you didn't want? Turtis dad, That's what you should have said to make it. No wait, so
You just because
Is turtis the new crabser?
Absolutely, absolutely yes, no way
We actually the second I heard Jake's voice I remembered crabser and that it was funny
Hey, at least I did that shit on a short rest.
Crafter and this is a side joke from the short rest.
This is a main campaign flow.
I think that's...
I meant to say a lot of purpose.
Can I actually take it?
There you go.
Now I understand what you were doing.
Please let me take it again.
Good Lord, Caldwell.
That makes sense.
Okay, one more time.
Guys, this is really the absolute last time and called old Tanner.
Beverly Toggle, the fifth.
A lot of purpose, who's the dad of a turtis.
There you go.
Okay.
That was really, it was worth the wait, too.
I...
I'm so, what a privilege, what a privilege to witness that process, to just be part of
that process, to just be part of that process,
to watch you workshop that.
You'll just cut everything before that, Murph, right?
Yeah, this is gonna be real clean intro.
Great, really straight to the point.
Cool, I wanna keep things serious.
I know that this is, we got big stuff ahead of us.
Right on, end of the campaign.
Okay, guys, let's do a little recap.
So last week, you guys entered the shrine of the dragon god and met the glittering lady
and a ladrin dragon rider named Talane who had become a gold dragon through the power
of a divine heart piece.
She and Melora had split a divine heart with another member of their adventuring party
and formed a pact promising to protect the realm without imposing their will on any
of its creatures.
Tulane eventually broke her pact, citing with the dragons in a war against giants, and when
the war was lost, Tulane and many of the other dragons were banished to a strange sanctuary
city in the sky.
Murf, you kind of say dragons, cute.
Do I?
You have like a little Jersey way of saying dragons.
Dragons.
How do you guys say dragons?
Dragons.
Dragons.
Dragons, yes.
Our world are.
Anyway, I say dragon.
Corpus.
Dragons, rovis, and turtices.
Turtices and dragon.
After revealing her past, Tulane sent you up to a guest room
with her butler cordone who quickly
locked you in the room.
I forgot his last name.
Oh, cord and blue.
Munchine took a gaseous form to find out what was up
and learned that Tulane had imprisoned
chosen Captain Bear at Brisbane as well
as your old friend, Aluna, in some type of arcane pods.
Munchine watched as Talaine flipped a switch and extracted Brisden's essence to enchant
a great sword.
After tying up Cordone and leaving him in the bathtub, you all confronted the glittering
lady, only to have her turn on you.
She took offence to the fact that you were after her heart and clearly had resentment for Melora and her followers.
She then transformed into a gold dragon and attacked,
but you were eventually able to use diplomacy to talk her down.
Tulane eventually agreed to give you her piece of the divine heart if you could get her an audience with Melora and you agreed.
You each took a piece of the heart,
including Papa and felt divine power surge through you
as you transformed into Titans of Bohemia.
And that's where we are now.
What?
So you guys stand before Tulane.
You all have a golden aura from the power
of this divine heart.
Magic surges through your body. You see the
outline of your veins shining through your skin in golden yellow as your muscles and magical
abilities expand. So we're kind of like glittering titans now. Yeah. We're covered in diamonds, still. You guys are still completely blanked out.
But you guys are struggling with your new power.
Like you shudder, some of you even fall to your knees
as the shock of it hits you all at once.
It's like you're learning how to walk in a new body.
Yeah, you're just like overwhelmed by all of this power.
My body's been going through a lot of changes, honestly.
Yeah.
Yeah, hard one.
This is like the biggest bulk of your life.
Wow, and I was so used to being a thin guy
from my half-elf dish.
Right.
Actually, hard one, you know what?
This is really mind-blowing.
It's like a cut and a bulk at the same time.
What?
Holy shit, you strive for it, your whole goddamn life.
They said it wasn't possible.
Hard one just collapses to all fours and begins weeping.
Uncontrolled, but I grab Balnor and say,
oh, you're gonna fall over here, let me help you.
And I lean on him really hard.
Both of you guys just topple over to Jack Tafflings.
I think I stroke Papa's hair like he's a drunk person at a party, like a drunk girl
over the toilet.
I'm fine.
I know.
You got this.
Let it out, baby.
Let it out.
Just with each heave, he's just getting bigger and bigger.
That's it.
You know what?
You have, it's, but it's Papa's big day.
Yeah, that's a fast food trigger.
Yeah, it's apaw's big day. Yeah, that's a fast food trip. Yeah, it's Elbridge birthday somehow. Yeah.
Um, so after you guys are able to kind of gather yourselves
and get your bearings, you feel lighter.
And everything around you seems to move a bit slower.
You're just more present.
You just feel yourself.
You're just more powerful.
Wow.
So this is how you always saw the world too, Lane?
You see, Tulane smiles and shakes her head and she goes, not always, not before we had the
divine heart. And right off the bat, you guys have gained two levels and the band of boobs go up
to level 19. That's a good two, baby. For me, that's level 18 and a level one barbarian.
Just for those of you keeping track.
I don't know.
Everyone's got a moonshine diary.
Yeah, I'm gonna rip that down.
So you guys feel the power of this divine heart beating
in your chest.
Boom, boom, boom. Beating in your chest. Bopum. Bopum.
And all at once, the band of boobs are transported
to the realm of Melora.
Her twisted, corrupted world looks like the painting
of a storm.
It's all dark and gray and black.
There are tremors as the whole world shakes around you. This is exactly
what moonshine had told you guys about, but you guys are all here now. Hard one, Bev, moonshine,
Papa and Balnor. You guys see at the center of this dark world holding it all together is a chunk
of golden yellow rock emanating with power, the rest of Melora's divine heart.
The rock glows with each beat, matching the rhythm of your own heartbeat. You look down and see a yellow
light pulsating in your own chest.up-bum Bup-bum
It's like I've got a woodblock inside me
You hear Melora speaking to you guys strained as if from far away
Munchan she you no longer hear the kind of pained yells that you had heard in the past mm-hmm, but
She still sounds like she's under a great deal of pain and you hear her go
I have sacrificed my corporeal form to keep this realm together.
I am merely its foundation now.
You are its protectors.
My heart beats in your chest, the heart of the realm.
Bop-bum.
If she sacrificed her corporeal form, can I get it back for her?
I just feel like Melora, you've always been known as a wanderer and
how can you wander without your corporeal form. Everyone has a time when
Shen's happened. Yeah. That is the natural way of things. I know. My heart will not
only amplify your current power but unlock potential from deep within you.
Beverly, yes, I wish you could grow up in a normal world, but the gods have not blessed
you with a normal life.
You are afflicted with duty, things thrust upon you far beyond your years.
Bev, you see a flashback of you fighting the crag, a young boy at the start of his adventures,
facing a grizzled gladiator who is swinging down on you with vicious might that causes
your knees to buckle even as you block with your shield? The world should have protected you, but you have been asked to protect it.
What an honor, what an injustice.
You see yourself facing your father and hell.
You have fought devils, fiends, and lived through it all. The death knight who you once called dad strikes you with
a staggering smite and you collapse back. But just when it seems like you have drawn your
last breath, it is they who have drawn theirs. You see the glowing book bringing you back
to life and you surge forward with an attack
on your father quick flashes of you destroying acarot's various forms.
Beverly, you come out of this flashback and you have come into your new power.
You unlock an ability previously not available to you.
You may now use the action surge ability once per short rest.
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Damn!
I, uh, I feel a new power dwelling within me,
and it's located squarely in my glutes.
That everyone knows that is where the action urge, the action surge originates.
The surge, the action urge as well. I have the urge to surge. I do a deep, deep squat in
reverence to Melora. And I say, this is a duty I take with honor.
If I can keep those that I care about safe, if I can save this realm, then I'll do it
gladly.
And what I've lost will be for others to gain.
Thank you.
It was in you all alone.
I flex a little bit
Yes, as we all know the surge begins in the glutes
Melora addresses you all again hard one short foot
You are loyal to your friends and your people
There is wisdom to your simplicity. Some would call your approach reckless.
You see flashes of you charging in with apple and moonshine and bev against the terrask,
this giant armored beast, but I would call it selfless. You
see moonshine in the maw of the beast and you're using your hammer to open the
tarask's mouth so she can escape. You doing a predator handshake on moonshine
yanking her out of the purple worm scooping up Bev to get him out of harm's way
of the tarask. Still, we can never give enough of ourselves
to protect the ones we love.
Can we?
You see, Beverly dropping out of your hands in front of the terrask.
But we can always give a little bit more.
You see the moment of you kicking up out of unconsciousness and swinging with a band-in against the
tarask as it's about to consume balknor, cracking the monster across the jaw and felling
it.
Let's down the walls, hard one short foot.
Live recklessly.
Swing your hammer.
Swing until the gods are battered out of the sky.
Hard one you feel a shock of power enter you as you come into your own abilities.
You may now use reckless attack.
Woo!
Fuck yeah!
Can we call it selfless attack?
Yeah!
I fucking love it.
Very good.
Malora you taught me how to sacrifice.
My friends here did the same.
The walls are down. no holds barred.
Let's do this.
Malore continues,
Moonshan,
sharing a heart should not be unfamiliar to you.
You have always shared one with the Crick people.
The wisdom of the Crick comes easy to you.
Moonshan, you see you talking to Bev over rapport spores and the nine hells across the
layers.
He's faltering and thinking about joining his father, and you tell him that a child has
responsibility to his parents, but a hero has a responsibility to the world.
And your words give him courage, and from there, he's able to defeat his father.
But there is another side to you, moonshine,
one that you have not fully embraced.
You see yourself in the Glade Home Library.
No, no.
No.
Salar skin and bags under your eyes,
studying a stack of books while Lucana's lectures excitedly.
Ha, it's weird.
It's like everyone else looks super hot and impressive in
their flashbacks.
And I just look pretty.
OK, cool.
We're just catching up to you.
Yo, why is Melora teasing moonshine?
You hear her echo?
I think Melora just called me a nerd.
I showed Bev getting his ass kicked like three
different times.
I know.
Oh, wow. Wow, it's a real. real you made a whole supercut you said music to it
You must understand I'm under a tremendous amount of pressure. I can't tell
Just in the past you've always loved playful ribbing right asses the way
Moonshine
You have always been brilliant.
You do not need a crown for me to know this.
You flash back to you out smarting Josh and turning his entire army against him.
You see you guys aboard the SS Stormborn after Smuggler's Bounty being chased by Acherot
and turning his steed into a dolphin,
outing Boundor as the witch in the Autumn Court trials.
Just a super cut of Murph Womps.
Winner winner chicken dinner.
Then Munchan, you see a flash of the rogue gods attacking Iron Deep, Frost Wind and Glade
Home, but you using your fungal network are able to get help everywhere,
and just as things are at their darkest, you pull open a rift in the sky and bring an army
to the material plane. You're reluctant to call yourself a leader because you put others before
yourself, but you are worthy. You are not a queen in an ivory tower. You are an alpha wolf guiding her pack.
Lead your people to a better future moonshine siren. Pull the fabric of time so that it flows
in your favor if you have to. You have that power. Um moonshine, you feel yourself coming to your power
Munchine, you feel yourself come into your power and you may now use portent rules. Yeah baby!
Oh shit!
Two!
That's important.
Mellora, I promise to paint this world as beautiful as I can.
I'm banking on it.
Mellora goes on.
Bound or. I'm banking on it. Malora goes on. Balnor.
Your presence has subtly shifted the events of this timeline in our favor.
Perhaps your effects on this timeline could be a little less subtle.
And Balnor comes into his power.
He can now use the coronal shift ability.
What?
Which will let him as a reaction. Essentially, he gets a luck point that he can use for other
people.
Oh, Valnor, you and me looking into the future, huh, bud?
Yeah.
I guess I'm to buddy up with Valnor.
I guess I am kind of a time traveler.
Yeah.
We're kind of a couple of time traveling guys, huh?
Yeah.
Valnor, you and I meet traveling guys, huh? Yeah. Boundal, you and I meet third eyes, huh?
Yeah.
Hard one looks down and wanders away for this moment.
Ha, ha, ha.
And Melona goes on.
Us shoved Paw Paw forward.
Yeah.
And Paw Paw.
Be plent.
You are a good boy.
A very good boy.
And Paw Paw comes into his power.
You see glowing with yellow lights.
Moonshine, you can now channel your spores through Papa.
He can release them as an action.
So if you feel like you need to save it
for a counter spell or something,
you can have Papa do it as an action.
As an action.
You can also store a spell, a fifth level or lower in him.
So he gets one spell per day.
That possibly a fucking purse. lower in him. So he gets one spell per day. That possibly a fucking purse.
Oh, this is so cute.
I'm immediately gonna store a beast sense in him
so he can cast it on me and see through my eyes.
Rain.
Rain.
Poppola looks very excited about this.
So perfect.
And then after a moment, Moonshine,
you feel a hand touch your arm
back in the real world.
You're aware of her presence
and can hear her even though your consciousness
is in this place.
You hear Tulane, you hear her whispering,
are you with her now?
I am with her.
Do you can I bring her here or should I just you feel like you have the power like you
could bring her along if you want.
Okay.
Tulane, I'm going to bring you in in a second, but I know that I know that it seems like
there's a lot of baggage between the two of you.
So I want to make you think something positive about Melora,
but before I bring you in, okay?
Oh, okay.
Um, you know how during the fight, I was kind of taunting you and saying,
oh, our mind, you've heard, huh?
Yes.
Well, I want you to know that I think I'm also, I think I'm also evidence of the mark that you left on her.
Okay, because there's things about you that I really do relate to. And so I think there's something
of you that I received through her.
You feel her squeeze your arm like this was something she really
needed to hear. You kind of in this moment's clock-tillane as the popular girl
who doesn't have any real friends. You know what I mean? Yeah. Does that make sense?
Yeah. Okay cool. Yeah. So I'm gonna bring you over here, but I just wanted you to know that.
And then I think I just take her arm and instead of like ripping her into this world, I think I just want to like
as if I were leading her onto the dance floor. Um, oh, moonshine, you hold her hand, you pull her forward.
You hold her hand, you pull her forward. You see the glittering lady, her dress, her hair, her jewelry, sparkles the same color
as your divine hearts, and Melora's glowing rock in the center.
She looks on in wonder at first, but then in horror, and she looks over towards Melora's
divine heart and she goes,
What happened to you?
You hear Melora, booms back.
I am protecting this place, as I always have.
And Talaine goes.
She's just kind of looking around dumbfounded.
I didn't know that you could do this
Why
Why didn't you do this when I was in trouble?
You hear Melora goes you
mistake me
Not taking your side with neutrality. I am not neutral
I defend the material plane. I would not kill for the sake of the dragons, nor will I stop the small folk from
building their empires, but this, what the Allah has done, is an attack on Bohemia itself. Here, I'm a sinner being.
You see, Tulane walks up towards her
and holds her hand out
and touches Mueller's divine heart.
Then I will stay here with you
and give you my strength.
We will work together to heal the world as we once did.
You hear Melora boom back.
It is good to have you here, old friend.
And you see Tulane just kind of joins her in the center there
and looks to be like concentrating on a spell,
kind of doing what Moon Shine did before, of like
healing Melora and supporting her, just giving her an eternal help action. Just staying there with her.
So friends before.
So friends before.
Interrupt her.
Certainly.
Um, too late.
You see, she turns from the heart.
I'm so sorry.
It's just, I really liked everything you said about dragons, and I meant what I said about returning them to the sky.
And I know that on the material plane, there's a dragon that I did a pretty dodgy job hacking, catching, but I was thinking, maybe with a little bit of guidance.
From you, I could know how to raise it on the material plane.
She nods and she goes,
If you speak to Cordone,
help me out of the hell, Pia.
Cool, yeah, that should be easy.
Just, just Cordone have like a favorite snack or maybe like...
Yeah, when you get in a fight with Cordone, how do you kiss back up to him?
Cordone doesn't get you kiss back up to him?
Cordone doesn't get into fights with me.
If he knows that it is my wish, then he would certainly help you.
That should be enough.
Yeah.
Tell him something only I would know. Long ago when we were banished to the sanctuary having lost our war, I told
Cordone that we would fly the skies of Bohumia again someday.
Okay, I will tell you that. You take care of Malorra, okay? Thank you. It's been an honor and then I guess we slowly walk backwards out of it sweet
Duce is everybody you guys bump into a painted tree
Get foil on my my sleeve. This has been awesome all right
This has been awesome. All right. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha at you expectably, like when he needs to be taken out of the stump.
Papa, hold it just a little longer, okay?
Have a little grace.
He's a little pain thinner.
Don't go.
You know that when he does this way of sitting
that you've got like a minute tops
before you start pissing everywhere.
We're poor, be a report as I say,
y'all, we got go, I got a fire hydrant ready to burst.
Okay, I also have to piss.
Let's get out of here.
Sweet. So you guys all come out of Malora's Demi Plane
and find yourselves back in the Golden Trines Great Hall.
And you see.
Let's go get Luna.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, I meant to run this by her to be like,
hey, just so you know, we're not stealing her.
Maybe we can leave a note.
I don't believe a note, we even know.
We'll even know.
She's gone, she's not here anymore.
So we're fine.
Yeah, I know, I just don't want any bad blood.
Well, you know what, we'll tell that to Cordone.
I'm sure he'll be fine with it.
Cool.
It's kind of the warden here now.
Yeah, let's go find Luna.
Sweet, absolutely.
You guys run down the hall,
moonshine leading the way. You guys go down to the arcane lab and you see in one of the pods, Luna
is in there looking super ragged. She's in her human form, but she's got yellow eyes. Her hair is
all sweaty and matted and she's just kind of clawing at the glass, yelling kind of incoherently like she's exhausted.
Let me out, let me the fuck out.
I go into a rage and attack the glass.
Dope, I won't even make you roll. You shatter the glass. You see Luna staggers forward,
like her legs are wobbly underneath her and she just goes
fucking awesome and then just face plants and just like passes out. Oh, I'm like, I'm gonna have
to leave a note for the glass too. That's gonna be two notes so far. Yeah, yeah, if you could keep
track of the notes that we need someone else to write. I'll have to dictate them.
I am already writing the notes.
All right, good.
Okay, yeah, I scoop her up, I throw her over my shoulder.
Sweet, you scoop up Luna.
Munchine, you're a Titan of Bohemia now.
And you're also a very strong barbarian, but Luna is huge.
Luna is like a little over six foot tall
Super super beefy and strong you do see that now or previously she had worn like chosen armor. She was kind of a
heavily armored knight and now she's more like a ranger
She's got like boiled the leather armor on and stuff. She's more like a ranger. She's got like boiled leather armor on and stuff, and she's a clodress.
But everything is ragged and ever,
it seems like she's been in here for a long time.
And you hear her like come to and she starts just going,
can I get some water?
Absolutely.
Something to eat.
Yeah, I give her some water from my water skin.
Yeah, hard one breaks the seal on the first bit of water that's been had that has not
been crick water or some kind of alcohol.
Just like cracks the seal on his water skin.
It's important to hydrate folks.
I'm also going to use this, give me my last high
level spell. I'm going to have to do that in eighth level, but I will cast a heal on
her as well. Oh, damn. Oh, I can touch hands, or if you want me to, if you want to save
that slot. I think, I mean, do y'all think that we might take a little rest? I think
as long as our room here isn't a prison cell anymore, I might take a little cat nap in
the bed. Yeah, okay, cool. We burned on the sheets at gas, but we'll see.
I'll say you guys do a little lay hands, you do your heel,
and she comes back, and you see,
she looks physically stronger
from the magic flowing through her.
She grabs the water skin from hard one
and begins sucking down the water,
still got the price tag on it.
Not all of it.
I drink that often.
And you see, she pulls it back and she starts panting.
And then she looks at all of you guys shocked and she goes,
hey.
Holy shit.
Yes.
Oh, big wow.
Gotta be honest, I wasn't expecting you guys to be here.
Can I ask you what StrangePap led you to this cloud?
Oh.
Oh.
Cause we are in a cloud, so we all have a cloud.
Yeah, wow, cloud.
It has been a long, I don't even know how long I was in there.
It could have been a few days, It could have been a few weeks.
What's the last thing you remember?
The last thing I remember was following Barrett Briston
and a bunch of his chosen birds
into the golden shrine
and kind of sneaking up on them,
trying to figure out what they were up to,
them getting attacked and defeated by the glittering lady,
me getting discovered before I could explain myself,
and by the time I was able to calm myself down,
and not just tell her to fuck herself,
for fucking with me, you see,
I get like kind of beast mode as she does that.
Tight, very dope.
Before I could calm myself down and explain the situation.
Never calm yourself down.
Yeah, thank you.
Stay mad.
I was actually getting mad listening to this.
It's going to hurt.
It's bullshit.
It's bullshit that I was putting.
You're like, didn't even do anything.
Sucks, but.
Sucks, sucks, but.
I grab a piece of drywall from the corner
so we can all just punch it.
Yeah, to kind of keep with the high school comparisons,
this seems like a situation where the kid,
like one of the kids in the group didn't do anything,
but freaked out so much that they also got in trouble.
What are you doing?
I respect it, I respect it.
Is it a crime?
Yeah, so she goes, I was thrown in here, and by the time I was able to calm myself down and try to explain
the situation, it just seemed like I was lying to save my own tail.
Can I find the sword that Berk Briston was put into?
Oh yeah, I was going to ask.
You guys go over to the machine, you open the compartment that you saw it go into and
you find this great sword. It doesn't look like
it would be a particularly good weapon. It looks more like fancy. It looks like an ornamental weapon.
Still want to give it to Luna and say, uh, I found your man.
Uh, yeah, you, I don't know if you, I don't know how you feel about it, but you were looking for him and you succeeded.
The mission was a success.
Here he is.
The delivered.
You see she grabs the sword and looks at it and she goes,
Oh, serve some right.
What a loser.
What a fucking loser.
Absolutely.
He's an object now.
Oh my gosh.
You guys fucking him, not even that good of a sword.
He's a literal tool. I mean, of a sword. He's a literal tool.
I mean, yeah.
Yeah, he's a literal tool.
You don't even fly.
Do you know there's some swords that fly, Aluna?
It's beautiful.
Um, you guys hear the Barrett-Brizzden sword begin speaking.
I just want to- I want to talk about art.
Does anybody have any art that you guys want to talk about?
Do you guys want to listen to some creed or something? We could discuss it. Creed like the Bayhams?
Some like Chosen Rock. Yeah. Like, can you take me higher? Yes, exactly. I mean, something
with some good, clean lyrics that we could discuss. I guess I wouldn't mind hearing, can
you take me higher? Sure. Take it away. No, I'm more an enjoyer of the arts
What's your artistic interpretation of can you take me higher you guys you guys get the sense that this is a
Basically a charm diversion of Barrett Briston
So she essentially was like making him into like an audience member like somebody that she could like
Chat with about art, but this guy's such a loser
His tastes are still horrible. It's a Christian rock enthusiast. Yeah
Yeah, I think you're gonna have to
Re-educate this sort a bit maybe you like place some hard rock for it when you go to sleep
You see she just chucks it
Yeah, see you know what that was yours to do.
That was your decision to make.
You tailed him.
What kind of a weapon you work in with these days?
You looking like more like a ranger.
You see she gestures to her teeth and she goes, not ranger, but doesn't need to be.
Just been on the wild side these days.
I'm excited.
Let's out the smile.
You see your canines extend a little bit.
Dang.
Dang, you know that's a magical weapon too.
That's a magical last smile for sure.
We passed, when I was dragged in here, we passed a room that had all this awesome food
in it and everything.
Do you guys mind if we get a little food, I can catch you up on everything I know
and maybe just sit down for a moment
because I've been standing up in a pod
for like a solid, solid three weeks.
Yeah, not sure.
I mentioned I pretty much took the magical equivalent
of just gutting myself and letting all my spells
pour out of me.
So I could use a rest.
I could use a translate.
Yeah, let's hit the buffet. Sweet.
You guys go back into the grade hall. You see that they were in the process of making you guys
a feast. So it is a little bit cold now. But you see there's all these like trays of meats and
all this, um, elven-growned vegetables that are like extra filling,
like high-elven recipes.
I take out a spice canister,
paprik and just start spicy and everything up a bit.
We gotta make this a little harder.
I think I can work with, I can work with this y'all.
I pull out some yogurt and like adjust it a little bit
because her palate is just too spicy for mine
But I do appreciate some spice. Okay, so we're making like a little either a yogurt side or maybe we're just turning the whole thing into a bit of a curry
Maybe so yeah, I saw I saw my tongue after I eat
You see bound or goes should we tell the guys on the stormborne that they can eat because they probably just been I'm gonna leave that up to captain hard one
Oh Skippy. Oh, Skippy.
Yes, Skippy always feeds his crew first.
I actually had some PB and J's up there in the cabin.
I'm sure they took two of them.
Yeah, totally.
They should come down here and...
You rush out, you grab Nerman and the Dorven crew.
They come in after you guys.
You fill them in as you walk through the secret passage and everything.
Hey, Nerman, we're Titans now.
They're spoon in here.
Oh, you got new buds.
Oh, great.
Oh, you guys look great.
You guys look a little buffer.
Yeah.
No reflex.
Yeah.
Whoa, food.
They're more excited about it.
They just rush in and just are picking up a fan.
He just points in my first feedback as acid Titan and it's low food. She guys are all sitting around this huge table eating.
You see Luna like in between bites.
She's like eating ravenously, meat only.
She's eating and she goes,
so after I left you, I spent some time spying on the chosen.
And eventually I joined the Iron Deep Army to make it official.
Oh hell yeah.
Yeah, the fact that I can turn into a wolf was super helpful.
So me and my pack, right?
We would sneak through the Iron Deep Mountains
and report back to the dwarves about the approaching chosen army
when they were camped out there.
The dwarves would equip me with flying potions
because occasionally I'd have to track one of their angels or something and that flying wolf
Yeah
Yes, that's awesome. So anyway, that's how I ended up here
Bridden knew of this place through the Allah
I don't know if she was able to use some kind of divine
Scrying thing and see past what other people could see anyway. he was planning on winning this divine heart for her.
So I followed him and a squad of his angels
through the portal, then eventually to this shrine
and he was taken out by the glittering lady.
All of us were captured, me included,
even though I didn't do anything.
I was just there.
No, you did.
I was just going about it.
I was freaking in a mess.
I was freaking in. It's freaking injustice. I was just doing a bad enough. Stop, I'm freaking mad. I was fucking spying. I was freaking injustice.
I was freaking injustice.
I was freaking injustice.
I was fucking injustice.
I was fucking injustice.
I was fucking injustice.
I was fucking injustice.
I was fucking injustice.
I was fucking injustice.
I was fucking injustice.
I was fucking injustice.
I was fucking injustice.
I was fucking injustice.
I was fucking injustice.
I was fucking injustice.
I was fucking injustice. I was fucking injustice.
I was fucking injustice.
I was fucking injustice.
I was fucking injustice.
I was fucking injustice.
I was fucking injustice. I was fucking injustice. I was fucking injustice. I was fucking injustice. I was fucking injustice. marble shoot. Whoa. And so pretty much every day she would turn a different chosen angel into another item
and Bri's and I were last, which is good news for you guys if you guys are still fighting
the chosen.
I know we haven't spoken in a long time, but no, we actually joined up with the chosen.
Yeah.
Oh shit.
Do I have to kill you, I guess?
Just get in.
Oh man. We're talking with you
You got got don't
I just want to bring that fire to your eyes. All right anyway
If you guys are still fighting the chosen and if you plan on facing the all-ah
I think I might have some information for you. Oh, I was trapped
Next to Brixton he would go on these long rants about how
Thiola was going to save him. And sometimes he would
talk details about her plan. He said that she was
going to bring her wrath on the world and release
for horsemen after you. That sounds about right.
So she was trapped for a while. So she goes on to explain
some stuff that you guys already knew and have already experienced. Yeah, we made short work to those horsemen.
Right. Yeah, we're we have the horsemen. So she goes on about the plan for the pale horse
to go after you for cheating death about famine, trying to consume you about pestilence,
trying to infect glee home. But then she brings up a horseman that you guys haven't had much interaction with.
And she goes, he said that the last one, the wreath on the Red Horse, would bring war to the wicked
souls of the Nine Hells and deliver the Hellfire Crown to the Goddess. That seems pretty tidy, yeah.
Yeah. And he would always say that after the world was ready for her, the Allah would come back and sit at the head of the court of gods.
So that she would essentially rule heaven and hell.
Correct, yeah.
But also just the material plane.
Apparently buried deep under the iron deep mountains, there are ruins of a place where the primordials met before gods left the earth.
There was a rotating leader who sat atop a great throne.
So the Ella means to take the throne when she returns, naming herself God of Gods.
I don't know exactly where this throne is.
This hasn't been seen since the first people, but my crew is better at tracking than anyone I know.
So if you guys can get me a little east of Iron Deep,
I think me and my pack could probably track it down
while you guys deal with these horsemen.
So desperate to meet your pack
and maybe scratch them behind the ears
if they're cool with that, but if not, I understand.
I would say 90% of them would be super into that
and 10% of them would definitely bite your neck.
Very cool. If you can just like point out those folks, you know what changes from day to day,
so just one in 10 chance, just gonna risk it, get a roll of those dice.
Absolutely worth it.
It's like tangent. What does your pack think about dragons? You think there could ever be peace between your pack and dragons?
If you think about it, wolves are kind of the dragons
of the earth.
I have thought about it.
That's honestly, I have a stick and poke kit
up in the store.
Yeah.
And that sounds like fucking perfect.
That sounds like a collarbone tattoo me.
You guys see, you guys see that Luna has really come
into her own here?
Cause the last time you guys saw her,
she would flash back and forth between her eyes would turn back to their not wear wolf color it would be like brown
and she would be like more soft spoken and stuff but she's just like full on acting like
leader of the pack right now just in brace like being like a beat head basically.
It's awesome.
I love it.
I love this for her.
Cool.
Do you all think that we need to address
the cordon blue situation precisely soon?
Yeah, you guys do after you guys are like fully eating.
I left, I did leave the shower on just so y'all know,
he's gonna be very wet.
When we see a moment later,
a soaking wet, cold-bald-sized cordone,
wrestling himself free of the ropes.
Looks like after he woke up from mechanically being unconscious,
that he was able to shrink down into a cobalt
to get out of his binds,
and he rushes down soaking wet and he goes,
my lady, my lady, they're attacking us.
We've attacked us all.
Yeah, you're too late. Oh, no, they're attacking us. They're attacking us all. Yeah, you're too late.
Oh, no, they're eating dinner early.
Yeah.
We were gonna write a note about that.
We had three notes to write.
Yeah.
I was writing too many paragraphs,
it's taking too long, I'm sorry.
Yeah, you have a real rigid formality to all of your...
I just want the note to support the thesis.
To support the thesis. Cordon, hey, over here, come see with us
Sit with you
As soon as I have the energy, I'm going to turn back into my dragonborn form
and then I'm going to stab you in the face
It's okay, cordon, Mr. Blue
You're spoiling your dinner, the greatest of fronts to my manners
Okay, okay, um, actually maybe I'm gonna go up to him because maybe he's gonna
I feel like I should say this privately to him. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. You're gonna
I'm well can't wait for you to wipe my ass and then I go up to him and I say hey
The ladies with Melora now
What what do you what do you mean she's with Melora now?
The lady requested an audience with Melora,
and Melora needs her and the lady elected to be with her.
You see, he looks suspicious, and he goes,
Melora is no friend to this house.
Okay, well, as we were leaving,
she told me to tell you a memory
that only the two you would know.
She told me that when y'all first got moved
to the sanctuary, she promised that y'all
would be riding in the skies of Bohumi against someday.
You see, immediately.
Okay, so that was a big one for you too.
Let's have a choking sob.
I don't believe you.
You just like absolutely believe.
Oh, you don't believe.
Yeah.
I'll say he does kind of his,
because he's a little bit of a paladin,
so he does like a zone of truth thing,
because he's being a little bit indignant.
You confirm everything that you've just said
as diameter on that zone.
But I want you to know, I spoke with her before I left.
And I wasn't, I have a dragon back in the material plane
that I'd like to maybe not train, but learn how to co-exist with.
And I was wondering if maybe you could come help me.
I was thinking maybe if the lady's busy with Malora,
that Bohemia could use a new dragon
rider.
Uh, go ahead and give me a persuasion check with advantage.
I only have a plus two to persuasion, but it's cool because I got an 18 dirty 20.
A dirty 20 damn.
Um, it too, baby.
You see, Cordon is clearly very upset that the glittering lady is gone, but also moved and he goes,
do you think you would be able to get me back to the material plane?
Um, I don't know if you noticed, but I'm kind of a divine type now.
So I think that I can assert my will on this world in brand new ways. Well, if it is the glittering ladies will for me to help you,
then consider me your little Butler boy.
No!
Whoa!
Okay, yeah, I will, little Butler boy.
Yeah, that sounds great.
Because I gotta be honest, I mean like, humanity, you know,
yeah, I wanna say if humanity, but mostly I feel like I have to say
if humanity for myself, put the dragons.
The dragons, we just need to,
I think that's something I can really get into.
So yeah, let's do it, little butler boy.
All right, yes.
Okay.
Come have some supper with us.
I look up from a giant plate of chicken,
and I'm like, what, did Moonshine get a butler? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha about me. I thought we were kind of like shedding our earthly needs, but I guess we're doing butlers again. Let's do butlers again. I haven't I haven't really had a butler. I've been sort
of I was sort of Beves butler when I first showed up. That's right. So I've been a butler.
Yeah, it's cool. It is cool. It was cool. Cordon. We could kind of just all share a mess
butler and also you can come up with a new title if he wanted. Although butler is kind
of cute. I don't know how you feel about your profession. I much enjoy being a butler.
Okay. How about butler? So it's like butler but you're a bud. Yeah, you're like a friend. You don't have to do anything.
We ask it's always just I hate it. But if you want to call me butler, that is
what is great.
Little blue.
Just such a forced shaky smile. Yes.
I take some gold from the wall and I shave it into a forced shaky smile. Yes, I take some gold from the wall
and I shave it into a salad for him.
Oh, buddy.
Finally, someone with some manners
just starts to gravonously eating gold.
That's our butler.
You see a cordone goes,
you all look a little worse for the wear
if you wanted to rest here before we headed
out. It might not be a bad idea.
Yeah. Are there any rooms without locks on the door?
I could just not lock you in this time.
Let's leave the door a jar, Butler.
Yeah.
I got that.
Very well.
I'll stand guard at the ajar jar.
Now that's a rhyme scheme I can get behind. I know a little bit about Ryan.
So you guys you guys all eat up. You guys go back up to the room that you had previously
been locked in. This time, Cordone does not lock the door, but rather stands at the door
creepily and just like and just like a really buttlery pose with like his arm at his side.
Just stares at you guys.
You know, just real quick, say,
okay, it seems like you kinda like being
in a subservient position.
So I love it.
Okay, so I'm gonna ask you to do something for me.
Please.
Could this be your uniform?
And I'll pull out my cow hide vest.
You see, just a shaky, scared smile. Wait, wait, wait, can we take a strip off the
bottom of the vest and make it into a cow hide bow tie as well? Good God, good, good God,
thank you. Thank you for this, thank you for this gift. Shit, now I kind of want to be about what we've been doing
since he was trapped in the gym.
Just to like make sure that he's gonna be up to date
when he comes back.
So just yeah, continuing his adventures from our point of view.
Yeah, it's gonna be so funny for him to come out
and you just say, read this and we'll talk.
You will be in time to finish this.
Major recap, love you.
That's cute.
Yeah, you see Luna leans over while you're doing that,
and she goes, he's really gonna appreciate that.
It sucks to be kept in a confined space
for a long amount of time.
Yeah, yeah, it seems real bad.
I'm sure he's having a shitty time in that gym.
And she only knows that because I would assume
you guys have like chatted. Oh, sure, yeah. She's not some nefarious double agent or something who knows who knows
things.
How would you know about the gem?
What?
Cut to a single space reddit post.
So Bev does a little bit of journaling.
You guys all go to bed for the night and you wake up the next day.
The fairy tale world that you guys are in, this illusion does reflect day and night properly.
So there is like, you know, you hear like birds chirping outside and stuff and the sun rises
in the morning.
And Balnor and Luna are with you guys
and wake up and Cordone is with you guys as well.
Fuddler Blue, do you mind?
Do you think that she mind if I took a paintbrush and a canvas?
If what you're saying is true and she blessed you with her heart, then you in a sense
are the glittering lady, it's beautiful.
Oh!
Just let's have another joking sob.
Oh my gosh, a couple big brushes.
70 degree bow, that's so impressive, his core.
Oh, rolled my first port 10 rolls.
Oh nice, he rolled your first port 10 rolls, dope.
Yeah, Lunchhine. Wakes up, you, as you come out of your trance,
you briefly feel like you can see into the future a little bit.
Yeah, I think I'll go into the hat
and I retrieve two numbers from Dijuana.
Hey, Dijuana.
Hey, sorry, I know it's early, but I'll transfer four hours.
So it is for a couple numbers from you.
All right, it's just, okay, It's super late. Let me go ahead
All roll real quick. Wait, it's super late. So you've been up. It's 4 a.m. It's 4 a.m. You stay up late
What's you been doing in there? There's a reason my name is Dioana. I party like I'm in Tijuana
Wow, that's a really bad stuff Dio
Thanks I'm super drunk right now.
Gotta hope Mochite tells us this in the morning.
Just grab those numbers and you can go back to the gym.
Great, great, cool.
Okay, so after I get my portent rolls, dang, I got a morning routine now.
I get my portent rolls and then I head down to the glittering kitchenette and I start making a hero's feast
You start making a hero's face. I'm making I'm making sticky buns for Bev just like his mom taught me
You see there's all of these I got I got a brown stuff scramble going for a hard one
I jump out of bed as soon as I smell it. They're called hash browns, but it's just hash browns with brown stuff.
You see, Cordone is trying to throw out the brown as he's helping you.
Do not let him do that.
I thought it was the help of you and my hero species.
Oh yeah.
You see that there are all these, it's full on beauty and the bees.
There's all these utensils and stuff that are coming up and helping you and like flying
next to you.
Okay, butler, I got to tell you, sometimes I need you instead of a butler to be my sous chef.
Is that a role that you would enjoy?
I enjoy doing whatever you tell me to.
Okay. My lady.
We're dynamic.
We'll navigate this together.
That was so deeply.
Watch out for the frying pan.
Moonshan cooks up a hero's feast.
You guys all gain the benefits of it.
Murf, can we say that I summoned a jaw jaw the night before?
So I don't have to burn this.
Yeah, sure, and let's go.
Yeah, jaw jaw jaw.
Yeah, I'll summon Kaka too while we're at it.
Yeah, I just do Kaka's call.
I've never heard that before.
Could you share that with me?
I'd love to know just for education.
I'll roll an animal handling check to see if I can teach Bev.
Great.
That's a 24.
Wow, you do a great crow impression, yeah.
Awesome.
Just for the record, I wake up,
I make the heroes feast, let it all stay hot
and the oven do another trance.
Okay.
Ass is my way.
Right, okay. So you go ahead and, do another trance. Okay. As is my way. Right.
Okay.
So you go ahead and do his LS trance, get the slot back from Hero's Feast.
It makes sense, but it's just such a funny thing to picture someone making a full breakfast
at 4 a.m.
Yeah.
And then like taking a nap on the couch.
Okay.
Time to sleep.
Cool.
Yeah.
So you guys are in the shrine.
You've got all the doors with you.
You got Luna with you.. So you guys are in the shrine. You've got all the doors with you. You got Luna with you.
What do you guys do? So Luna, we want a dispatch to try to find this primordial throne.
Yeah, you see Luna nods and she goes if you guys can get me near Iron Deep, I think I can find it. Yeah, we have. Yeah, I think I know the way home.
Great.
So I guess let's just pack up any of the items
with the most interesting personalities
and hop on the stormborne, right?
Oh, before we go, should we check
and see what happened to that genie?
You see, cordon goes um
elzabor was discovered by the glittering lady and sworn to her i don't know if he
would have stuck around okay so no free wish spells what you're getting at correct
that was clever thought though huh you got to check you got to explore and I was about to take this fucking frying pan
Hey, you look fun do you want to cook on me?
Sorry, I already have a pet
Please love me
Shit, all right, I take the frying pan
The frying pan goes in there with the potted plant. Oh, hey, plenty.
Planty, who named you?
Yeah, it's plenty and and a panel.
A panel.
Let's go home.
Yes.
So yeah, let's let's drop Luna off. Let's great.
First order business.
I you guys know iron deep is right under
Glade home, so it's all in the same place
Great So you guys take off again on the SS stormborn leaving the sanctuary demiplane and crossing back onto the material plane the comm skies turned to darkness
as the Allah's
cataclysm rages
You guys spend a good deal of the day
into night navigating the stormy skies before once again
coming in sights of Glade Home and Iron Deep. However, Glade Home is not as easy
to see as it would be normally. You see that the arcane barrier protecting the city
is not there.
You see rain and wind pummeling the unprotected city,
glade home banners being pulled against the wind
and building shaking.
And you see, as you guys are like flying through the sky
and everything, Luna was not here for any of this cataclysm stuff and she just goes
Holy shit. Yeah, I'm sorry. We did not emotionally prepare you for this
The earth's fucked the all I did this Luna looks out and she goes
I
Can take another one of my potions and head out my pack is
Very good at surviving. I'm confident that even in this,
I'll be able to find them.
Okay.
All right, I'll get in touch with you.
You guys will be here in Glade Home.
Is there any boon I can give you for your day?
What sort, what are you facing today?
I think just the elements.
Here, take my hat.
The hat that gives you charisma?
Oh no, not that hat
I have a different hat
It's iron deep like five miles away or iron deep is right under it
She says she needs to head like east of iron. So she just has to travel
Okay, then you don't need my help. It's difficult for me. I'm always looking for a way to help everyone
You see she nods and she goes that's what I like about you moonshine
I like how angry you are. It's actually really soothing. You see she smiles then stubs her toe. Fuck! Oh dude! I mean it's poetry. You see she salutes you
guys. I printed her handshake her. I'llose you in for Predator Handshake, Predator Handshakes all of you. I scratch binder ears.
Thanks.
Appreciate it.
Thank God.
Then she, 10% chance I would have freaked out, but today feels like a head-scritch day.
But you had already done that on your toe, so yeah.
Right.
And you see she sucks down a potion and jumps off the ship and begins floating east over the ruins of the iron device.
Oh, flying werewolf. Now that is a sight to behold. I love it.
So you guys see Luna disappears in the distance. You guys are on the ship with Cordone and the dwarves. And you see Cordone is like looking out and he goes,
I remember the last time I was here,
it was a lot prettier.
This is, can we just, let's just go back.
Actually no Cordone because you know what?
Haven't it be this bad is, is, well,
the silver line into it is that we get to rebuild it.
And you know what's really good at breaking things down that need to get broken down is mushrooms.
And I spore us a little bit around.
Ha ha ha ha.
Interesting.
You see, again, another really forced smile shaking.
Huh. I feel like the chemistry with me and Budler isn't really there.
I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong.
It takes time.
Okay, thank you. You'll break him down. Okay, thank you. He what I'm doing wrong. It takes time. Okay thank you.
You'll break him down. Okay thank you. He's the fanciest boy of all time. I mean I made
this fancy glide. True. Take to me and I'm motion to bed. I'm scratching my toes. But yeah
you guys see um, Glade Home seems to be exposed right now.
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So when the lower body battle begins and brother is forced to kick brother, make sure
you are wearing bird dogs. To get yours and a free Yeti-style tumbler, go to birddogs.com slash pop-off or enter
promo code pop-off at checkout.
That's birddogs.com slash pop-off or promo code pop-off for a free Yeti-style tumbler.
You won't want to take your bird dogs off, we promise you.
Okay, that's it for me me go team pants and enjoy the show
You guys head to Gladeholm you get to the docks
You see that there are
There are like sky docks here where like other airships are parked you see that they've all been like
Tied to posts and stuff and they are moving with the wind but mostly staying intact there but you don't really see anyone around it looks like
everyone has kind of sheltered inside. Can I do a quick divine sense to see if
this is horsemen related? Sure. Yeah do a divine sense because I can control
weather but I don't need control the weather if it's just sort of a natural occurrence. Great. That's going to be a
23
You don't sense any fiends or anything
That seemed you do you like like you see lights on in homes and stuff, okay?
And before I use an eighth level spell,
let's just go straight talk to Peepaw or me, Mom.
Sweet, sweet.
Or Dan forgot to raise the shield up.
You got tired.
Mm, yeah.
So you guys go into the city.
I'm gonna say Cordon and the other dwarves
are gonna stay back a little bit and fix up the ship.
Doesn't need fixing, it's fine,
but yeah, I should, I can stay and just chill. They hang back a little bit and fix up the ship. Doesn't need fixing, it's fine, but yeah,
I should, I can stand just chill.
They hang back a little bit.
So you guys go off to Peepaw, Luke.
You guys arrive back near the university.
You find the little addition where
Tonethan's monks had set up their new research facility
despite the dark cloudy sky.
It is bright here. The inside of this lab is lit
up with candlelight and a fireplace. You guys enter and see a chalkboard filled with different
arcane symbols and equations. In front of it is a table where scrolls and books are laid
out. You see snuggled up on a bed roll on the floor is tonnethin who looks
like he pulled an all-nighter to finish the spell.
And meanwhile you guys see Lucana is asleep in his chair in front of the table and there's
like a scroll there.
He's asleep sitting up.
He's asleep sitting up.
You know, that happens sometimes.
Let's see what kind of sound he makes when I wake him up and I go ticklish belly
He farts he sneezes and he jokes all at once. Oh my god
Did I expect that moonshine?
It is the end of the world you simply cannot sneak up on me. That's really fair in fact
I saw last time someone
snuck up on you and you went into monk mode. This was very different. Yes.
Hey, what's going on? There ain't no arcane barrier around clay dome. Do you need our help?
What's with the weather? Is this intentional for any reason? You see, he rubs the bridge of his nose and he goes,
yes, apparently we are in danger of some kind of plague.
Erdan had to take precautions and cast a different type
of protective spell on the city to stop pestilence,
to stop the wrath on the White Horse.
They're here.
Apparently, Erdan did some kind of research
and thinks that the city might be under further danger
and that it's better to cast whatever, I'm so sorry.
I'm rambling on pretty good.
No, no, some sort of braider restoration.
Yes, so yeah.
Anyway, can I get you some tea or something?
I'm OK, look.
OK.
Toneth and an eye were able to finish crafting the spell
to seal away the hellfire crown.
Moonshan, I can teach it to you.
Oh, yeah.
Yes.
Why don't you and I, we can go to my quarters and I'll teach it to you there.
Actually, could we learn it here?
This is such a cozy place and it's so much more accommodating than the library.
Oh, it's where I did all my other wizarding.
Oh, it's not the library.
It's my quarters.
Actually, is there a crack on fire there? Oh, there's a crackling fire there. Okay, see now this is how I'm bracing my wizard side
Meanwhile
Beverly you may want to speak with Erdan
He I'm sure he would value your input on how to stop the spread of pestilence you being a paladin and all.
I'll go right away.
And I had to, I go to leave, but then I write a little note for Jonathan and I slip it next to him and it just says,
Hey buddy.
You see he smiles and likes snuggles up, just kind of like sense as your presence.
You see Barnaby takes the note from you.
Perfect.
I pet Barnaby, and then I head out.
Actually, I turned to a hard one in Balmore, and I see,
would you like to come with me, or is there anything else you need to take care of?
You guys actually see out in the yard of the university,
you hear old Cobb call out and go,
hey, hard one.
Hey, I was hoping to catch you guys
when you guys were coming back.
Look, I know we just got a couple days
till old Theala comes and I got something I think
I think might be able to help you.
Cobb brother, yeah, I'm all ears.
You see he waves you over to come join him.
I sprint over there.
Sweet.
You see Balnor sees Tanahthen like laying down his stuff
and he goes, it's been a long day, you guys mind if I just
kind of crash here?
Yeah.
Lucana's already got that chair warmed for you.
Yeah, I just saw him and it looks like a real good dad nap
and I'm thinking about getting one in myself.
I go and fetch him a blanket.
Sweet.
And a warm bud heavy.
You guys see Balnor saddles up.
Hard one heads off with Cobb.
Moonshine you go with Lucanus and Bev you head off to Erdan's office.
Cool.
So we'll start with Bev.
Great.
So Bev, you walk through the university,
loud, rain outside, cracks of lightning.
It's super dark in here.
And you see that the door to Erdance office is open.
He's working busily at a large oak desk surrounded by books and
ledgers. The room is lit by candles. It's dark because of the storm outside.
Nearby you see his skeleton cat is grooming itself and you see when he sees you
down the hall. He waves you in and he goes, yes, Beverly, I've discovered some new truths about the
race on the White Horse.
Wonderful.
Here, would you like some of this beverage?
It's coffee, but basically what I do is I brew two pots of coffee and then I pour them
together and I call it double coffee.
Would you like some?
That sounds more normal than most of the things that you try to feed me.
So, yes. I pour some double coffee.
Takes the double coffee.
Pours it and starts drinking.
What have you learned?
He sits back down at his desk,
and you see he pulls out an old's home,
and he begins flipping through it.
And he goes,
Okay, so apparently there are multiple components to the race plague.
It's not just a disease.
It's something more subtle than that.
When you and I talked about it, you described seeing the race bounce from corpse to corpse
when you first fought it.
Corpse drag, yes.
Right. Bounce from corpse to corpse when you first fought it corpse stride. Yes, right
Well, what if the creature
Didn't have to be dead for the rath to be able to possess it
What if it merely had to be a
sleep or incapacitated
So you're saying that anyone that's infected could be possessed by the rath? I think that's possible, and if that were the case, then someone like you could hand
an infected sword to someone like me, I'd be incapacitated by the initial disease, and
you could cure me of it, but then theoretically, the Raith could still have possessed me while
I was out, not controlling me at first, but lying dormant in my body until an opportune
moment. Like when you and your friends left Glade Home. Do you hear what I'm saying, Beverly?
You see Erdan's face begins to sprout bubbling cysts, that pop thick, dark, green goo. Uggh.
Someone like me would have access to the all-caster.
Someone like me would be able to cast a powerful dominate person spell on it
and turn the whole city against you.
I know you felt guilty about endangering your friends, Beverly,
but don't worry, it is they who are endangering you.
You might sort of already had a split.
You see three arrows fly through the window from an unseen attacker
You see crann and Durlin wheeled rapiers with glazed eyes burst from a closed wardrobe and stabbing to you
We cut to moonshine
Fuck guys, what the hell didn't do anything?
Okay, well, I gotta be on I gotta be be truthful to how I feel. People, I've been
wanting to tell you, when you taught me counter-spell, I acted like it was really annoying and I didn't
want to learn it and I just keep regretting that I didn't live in that moment a little more.
You see, he puts his hand on your shoulder and he goes, my daughter, I'm glad that you're embracing this side of yourself.
Thank you.
Your mother and I have been talking about you a lot.
And you see, he opens the doors to his quarters.
And you see, Mima is in the center of the room.
Mima, this is also so wonderful because I've been wanting to talk to you
because I've been wanting to talk to you because I've been getting stronger and I think I
You know the juke the druid change where you suddenly live super long
Oh, and I just it just feels really complicated. It's just really nice to have my mom and dad around right now
Well, it's so nice to have you around moonshine. Yeah tell me
around right now. Well, it's so nice to have you around Moonchan.
Yeah.
Tell me.
Do you know the shape change spell yet?
You see, she sticks out her tongue and it appears forked. Sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss This one is not a good idea. I can't believe I'm not a good idea. I'm not a good idea.
I'm not a good idea.
I'm not a good idea.
I'm not a good idea.
I'm not a good idea.
I'm not a good idea.
I'm not a good idea.
I'm not a good idea.
I'm not a good idea.
I'm not a good idea.
I'm not a good idea. I'm not a good idea. I literally was like, I literally was like, oh, like I can't wait to see Lekona's in
me, Morgan, and then that shit happened with Beverly, but I was like, well, it got to
be truthful to exactly what Mom-Chine would want to say to save them.
Anyway, I'm excited for this old Cobb reunion.
Hard one.
You follow Cobb back.
He's kind of shooting the shit.
He takes you to the house that Cobb was sharing with
Red and Gunther and a Gwain and stuff and he takes you into the house
And you see that Jaina and Mama are there waiting for you
I I've been the need of Mama
Welcome home my champion my queen my sister and my best friend what could be
better you see O'Cob walks over and he pulls out a long case and he goes I got
something for you here brother for me God you shouldn't have but shit I got you
I pat my pockets I also got you a gift you go first shit, I got you, I pat my pockets. I also got you a gift.
You go first.
All right, I got you a billy full of lead.
You see, he opens it up, pulls out of a lot of bust,
and blasts you in the stomach, and as Bama goes for your neck
and Jaina swings her hammer, everybody roll initiative.
Fuck this.
19, 11.
14.
Sweet.
Okay, we are going to set all the surprise rounds first.
So a hard one.
Right off the bat, Ol' Cobb tries to pump you full of lead.
First thing he's going to do is a concussive shot.
So he shoots at you with advantage because you're surprised.
Is only a 17 to hit misses.
It still hurts in a, in a, it feels like a hit.
Yeah, you dive out of the way like, hey, what the fuck, man?
Stay still, God damn it.
No.
I'm old, I only got one eye, man.
That is a 24 to hit on the second one.
That one does.
Hard one you are hit with 33, with a concussive shot.
And then he takes his third shot.
He's gonna hit on that one, that's a 26 to hit.
But on that one, he only does 10 damage.
Next in the initiative order is our friend, Cran.
Bev.
Good old Cran.
You see glazed eyes, Cran.
This little grizzled monster hunter goes up to you
and full on anime style.
Nothing personal.
Just stabs into your gut.
It's extremely personal.
It's so absolutely personal.
Bev, that is a 24 to hit.
That hits. And that is 13 24 to hit. That hits.
And that is 13 damage on the first rapier attack.
Okay.
Takes a second attack.
They're rolling with advantage because it's surprised.
That's why they're hitting so much.
This one's a 21.
Does that hit you?
That's my armor class exactly.
Got it.
So that hits you.
That is 14 damage.
She takes a third attack.
Wow.
A 21 to hit. That again that hits again this time she does 13 damage
Then that is hard ones turn hard one you are surprised you do not get to act or do anything you just can I make a face? Yeah
Okay, I'll make a face and it'll be kind of like this. Oh
Keep your damn stupid face still goddamn it
That is Durlin's turn Durlin is gonna do a little swords dance and shuffle forward
But they didn't teach you this one in green team camp. Ha ha you know they didn't
Your damn right. I know they didn't I rolled badly
He You're damn right. I know they didn't I rolled badly He trips over himself despite having advantage and misses he gets a 14 to hits oh
Classic Darlin. This is I resent you. This is why I'm doing this
He does 11 damage on the second attack and on the third attack
He hits with a 25 to hits and he does another
10 damage great next in the initiative is Mama who goes for your throat
My champion will put your larynx on my trophy case
Your wish is my command. I move my beard aside present your neck. I can't say no to you
It's hard one to stoop it to like understand what's,
does he just think everyone's mad at him?
I think he, with Cobb doing it, he gets it.
She does manage to hit you.
She does a big, she does 22 damage on the first hit
as she bites into you.
Second one is a only 18 to hit.
So that's gonna miss.
Yeah, that misses, but that's the damage that hurt most of all.
Wow, okay. Then Jaina goes, and she swings her hammer at you. You were never good enough
for my sister. That I actually agree with.
You let her die! I know! That's a 21 to hit. That does. And I deserve it. 22 damage to you on the first attack.
20 to hits on the next attack. That misses. Misses. It takes a third attack. Swings heaving the
hammer just this unnatural bloodlust. That's going to be a 24 to hit. 18 damage on the last hit.
Moonshan, that is your turn.
Okay.
You're surprised, taking a back,
as you see this beam of cold energy coming towards you.
Do it.
And your mother as a snake snapping at you.
Oh.
That is a Gwain is up in the initiative.
She was the one who fired the arrows. Let's see if they hit Beverly.
She is from a hiding position. You do not see her right now, Bev.
Oh, more friends. That is a 26 to hit hits and Bev. You know that she is like an alchemist
type ranger and she usually does like poison-tipped arrows and stuff.
You feel as this arrow hits you, she knew she was gonna be fighting you and you feel like
cold icy cold in your veins. Like she made something special for you that wasn't poison.
You are hit for 10 piercing damage and 28 cold damage. Wow. I'm so proud of how strong
all of you have become. Second attack. Ooh, shout out to the two crew and the three crew. That's
gonna miss. That's gonna miss. And the third arrow, yeah as the first arrow hits you,
you jolt back, second one is lightning fast,
but you're able to move back.
Last one is gonna hit, that's 26 to hits.
And that one is going to be seven piercing damage
plus 24 cold damage.
Oh, that is Bev's turn.
Bev, you are fucking flabbergasted.
Because every green teen you've ever known except for Irland is trying to kill you right
now and it's horrifying.
Then that is Lucana's turn.
Um, the cone of cold is going to go off now.
He thought, is this just supposed to be another lesson?
Is this a lesson that I'm not understanding the mean enough?
Moonshine, this is because I'm disappointed in you.
All right, go ahead and make a con saving throw.
I rolled 219.
Nice.
So that becomes a 23.
Okay, so you're only going to take half.
Ooh, let me see.
A ninth level, kind of cold of still.
Whatever, I'm at least proud to have saved. Okay, so after saving, so Moonshine, he blasts you with this
cone of cold. You only take 32 damage because it's already halved. Okay. And then
Mima snaps forward in snake form. I never seen you take this form of a snake before me ma That ride will you never did know me very well. Did you oh?
I didn't it's not for not asking anything. I don't know about you. It's cuz you with help
She snaps at you
verbally and physically
First attack is 20 to hit is that hit hit you? That does hit. That's my
last. Okay. Best snake I have been bit by me.
Ma. You are constricted for 21 and you are grappled as she wraps around you and
then she's gonna try to bite into you. This is so brutal. 29 to hit. That hits.
12 damage on the bites. Second bite attack is gonna be a 30 to hit. 17 damage on that bite.
And then at the end of the round. I'll take these bites as kisses, Mimo. On initiative one,
Bev, you see Erdan, all of these like cysts are popping and everything and he just turns into a liquid and melts away smiling.
And you see the rath disappears.
That is back up to Cobb's turn.
Cobb is going to take some shots at a hard one,
doesn't have advantage anymore.
First shot is only a 13 to hit.
Boom, misses, echoes through the house,
hits a picture of you two guys hanging out together.
I would say you're losing your touch,
but that one seems like it was on purpose.
Next one is a 24 to hit.
That hits.
Okay, he's gonna use his conclusive shot again.
18 Thunder damage and 8 regular damage.
Alright.
And go ahead and give me a strength saving throw to not be knocked prone.
Fuck yeah, gladly.
Hmm.
19.
19.
You're fine, you bounce back, you steal yourself.
Next attack, shout out to the three cre misses
um does that hit another picture of us yeah it's another picture of how many framed photos of us are there
I don't know I seem to remember at one time we were really good friends
But then I think we had a fallen out and we're uh I love no we're having the falling out
I love the falling out is happening right now
Oh no.
You're getting between me and my good friend, Diola,
and the Rape.
Listen to yourself.
I love ghosts and rates and stuff.
That's just me, man.
This is always in me.
This is in me, in any way.
This is hilarious, dude.
That is crans turn.
Crans.
It's just a fucking slaughter. Wow.
Attacks with a rapier.
They're not rolling with advantage anymore.
So it's gonna be harder for them to hit.
Misses on the first attack.
That's a 13.
Second attack.
Ooh, Roles Terrible.
Misses.
Last attack she makes is a 22.
My ass is just a little chunkier now, so it hits.
She stabs into your chunky ass for 16 damage.
Okay.
And then a hard one that is your turn, what do you do?
You see, Jaina, Mama, and Olcover clearly possessed.
Okay, you know, God.
Get over here, you killed my sister, and you are no longer my champion.
Give me your body so that I can stuff it and put it in my trophy room
Yeah, man, and I don't want to hang out with you. I hate jokes. I hate keeping it like I love the Allah
One day we're all gonna fucking laugh about this and swear to God
And I bowed a mama as I leap out the window and run away
So are you gonna disengage? I'm gonna take a full disengage sweet
So are you gonna disengage? I'm gonna take a full disengage.
Sweet, hard one, you disengage, you leap out the window.
I'm gonna say I will allow you to do a stealth check.
I'll allow you to disengage and also hide
because you're leaving the building.
Actually, you know what? Go ahead and give me an athletics check
to do it in a dope way.
And then if you do, I'll let you hide as sort of a free action.
Uh, shoot, that's only a 30.
Amazing.
Hard one, you do full action movie dive through.
There's like one open window.
You elect to go through the one that is full glass
that is completely closed.
You shatter it and jump through it.
Go ahead and give me a stealth check
as you go to hide outside the house so they can't find you.
Okay, also I swan dive and it looks like I'm going to just
crash my head onto the ground outside
and then I tuck and roll with the last possible second.
Willy Wonka style.
15.
That is Durlin's turn
Durlin is gonna take some swings on Bev. Ooh shout out to the core four misses
That second attack is going to hit that's 18 damage Bev with a rapier attack
Stabs into you. Huh, it's just like when we used to do fencing practice. I'm scoring on you again Beverly
when we used to do fencing practice. I'm scoring on you again, Beverly.
Don't rub it in.
That is 24 to hit on the last one,
a total of 14 damage.
Whew, then that is Mama's turn.
Mama is going to jump out the window
and start sniffing around to see if she can't find hard
one. I'll roll a perception check. Okay so she doesn't have any special skills
based on this stat block. She's just gonna roll a plus one. She needs to get a
14 or higher to find hard one. I'm gonna roll in front of Emily here. That is a
nat seven. She fails. You see her sniffing
around and she starts going in the wrong direction. I want to reach out to her.
That is Janus. That is Janus turned. Janus starts sniffing around.
Janus jumps out the window and starts sniffing the ground like another possum.
So nervous I smell like sulfur. Someone was cooking eggs nearby.
I can't smell his natural smell.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
No, she rastled with him.
She knows his natural smell.
She's not has a plus six to perception.
So she needs to get lower than a nine to miss here.
Rolling in front of Emily.
She got a nine.
She got a nine on the dots, which gives her a 15.
Hard one, you see, Jaina stands over you with the hammer.
You can't hide, you little rats!
Swings down on you.
I'm gonna smack my hammer on the ground,
cast shield on myself.
Great.
She, you might wanna wait to do that,
she only got a 12 to hit on the first attack.
Oh, okay, then I will not do that.
They were, the reason they were like crushing you before
is because they had advantage.
They don't have it anymore.
You're like, well aware that your friends are under some spell.
So she misses big time on the first attack,
swings down into you.
You're like hiding in a bush and roll out of the way.
She takes a second attack.
Ooh, shout out to the core four misses.
Last one is a 22.
Do you want a shield?
She missed on two attacks.
No, I'll just let her hit.
OK.
So then in that case, she hits you for 19 damage.
OK.
After Jaina, moonshine, that is your turn.
OK.
So I feel like moonshine would somewhat
put together the pieces at this point.
Oh, yeah. But I even think that moonshine would somewhat put together the pieces at this point. Oh yeah.
But like I even think that moonshine would be like,
oh, I need to get to the all-caster.
Because she knows, oh, the usual spell that's being cast
on it isn't me, Mon Connissar.
Do you want me to roll an Arcona?
Do you want to roll an insight check?
Yeah, can I do like Arcona or something since it's a-
Go ahead and roll Arcona or insight.
Okay.
Can I use pop-off or help?
Yes.
Because I need to make sure that moonshine knows this.
Okay, I got a 24.
A 24?
There we go, nice.
moonshine, you totally, now it all snaps into place.
This is, Mimaw would never do this.
You haven't known Lucana's that long.
It would be insane for him to betray you
in any kind of calculated way.
The shield is down,
something might right in the city, something city in the city.
Okay, so I cast a ninth level dispel magic on Mima, and then I book it for the all-caster.
A ninth level dispel magic? She told me what she was doing, she was doing a spell that
I know is a ninth level spell, so there you go. Ninth level spell. I will not fight you, Mima.
Holy shit.
If you do a ninth level spell magic,
it just literally no spell can beat that.
So you see, you cast this spell magic.
And you see, you ain't a snake.
They're saying you, Mima.
You see, Mima recoils back from you and she goes
Mochad what happened? What's your daddy doing you see he's like
What are you what are you doing Jolene after her? I'll explain it later and then I run for the all-caster I'm booking it out of this room. She goes all right
I'm I vaguely remember what's going on. I'm sorry Mochad. I'm sorry Mochad. I'll stop this one
You see she turns into a bear and bounces on Luconus
to like tackle him.
Okay, so he doesn't get any opportunity to take him in.
He does not get opportunity,
because he's not gonna take a physical attack on you.
So he goes back a little bit.
So then I use my movement to start going
towards the all-caster.
Sweet, Moonshot, use your movement to start running
down the hall away from Luconus' quarters.
You see, Mimaw behind you turns into a bear and jumps and tackles
Lucontus and I'll have her do a strength check to restrain him. There's natural 19 and she
has a ton of strength as a bear. She just you see her holding him down. Moonshine you
begin running down the hall. Great turn. You see all of these as you're running down the
hall Moonshine you see air elementals heading towards you
And you hear the sounds of like almost riots in the city of the sound of like
commoners
Running towards you like they've just been given the okay to go can I ask one more question on my turn
Just like and have a good idea. I know that the all casters like in the basement, right? Yes, yes
Where am I geographically?
I will roll a pure luck check. Actually, you know what? Go ahead and roll be a pure luck check and we'll determine how far Lucanis' quarters are from the all-caster. 12. 12.
Okay, I'll say one full turn of dash,
you'll be able to get that to that like great haul
where you're over it.
So if you want to like melt into stone or something,
you can go down, but you'll need to use an action dash.
Yeah.
So it might take you two turns.
Okay, cool.
Okay, next in the initiative order is a Gwayne
who is still hiding from you, Bev.
Oh!
Just more arrows come at you.
Roll the natural 19. That's a 27 to hit.
Bev, she does 26 cold damage to you.
Shit.
And then eight piercing damage.
Fuck me.
I have very hurt.
She takes a second attack.
Heist one is a 16. she's still rolling from being hidden.
Last one is gonna hit.
Can I try and you shield on that last one?
Yes, that last one was only 23 to hit.
Great, I'm gonna use shield on the last one
because I'm a block of HP.
Jesus Christ.
Wow, wow.
Well, Bev, that is your turn.
Thank God, okay.
Great, I'm glad I use shield then. Okay, great, I'm glad I used Shilvan.
Okay, can I do a quick insight to see if the manifestation
of these boils has like a woken
some sort of fiendish presence?
Go ahead and give me a, yeah, an insight check with advantage.
That's an at 20.
Don't, okay.
Awesome.
Bev, based on what Erdan was saying to you, it seems like essentially what happened
was the wraith slowly possessed Erdan was like dormant in him and then while you guys
were gone came back and took over everybody else.
These other people don't have the disease.
They are being charmed by the all-caster.
Erdan is the, Erdan is the race now, essentially.
Okay.
Yeah, so if I try to use, turn the faithless,
it would not work on them, probably.
These guys are not undead,
they are just your friends, but charmed.
Okay.
In that case, wait, turn the faithless.
Yeah.
That is fay though.
I would say that Cran and Durlin have been around long enough in the fay while that
I would count them as fay.
Wow.
Okay, all right.
That's better than nothing.
So there's three folks in here now.
Yeah, I will use, I will cast turn the faceless.
I hold up my turtle symbol and I say,
it's really great to see you all.
And they're going to need to make a wisdom saving throw.
Sweet.
And I believe my spell save is 20 now,
because it's eight plus proficiency plus charisma.
Cran fails.
Great.
And Dirlin fails.
They both rolled the Nat 7s.
She Cran and Dirlin look at each other,
then look at Bev, and then look at each other and go,
it's not worth it.
He's too badass and cool.
And just take off down the hall.
Thanks, guys.
A Gwain is not turned, though.
But OK, Dirlin and Cran are running. You don't see where A Gwain is not turned though. But okay, Durlin and Kran are running.
You don't see where a Gwain is.
What are you doing?
You still have movement, you still have bonus action, et cetera.
I know that the Alcaster has been corrupted.
I know that Moon Channes probably pieced this together.
I need to get down there to help assist her
with whatever restorative spell she's going to use.
So first and foremost, I will look at my amulet as a bonus action.
And then I turn to where I assume iguan is,
and I say, smell you later, and I dive out the window.
Wait, I guess I'm in an office, aren't I?
Yeah, you would assume that she is probably out the window.
Like, she's probably perched somewhere out, shooting into the office.
So actually, going further into the castle, we will probably get you away from a Gwain. Okay, so I say later. What are you freaking nine?
I fart as I do it
Yeah, I'm gonna do a like reverse summer salt out of the office door sweet and then book it down the hallway
Okay, that's a, switch and then book it down the hallway. Okay. And then, so I use my Amulet
as the bonus action there.
I used my movement.
I'm gonna use my action surge,
and then I guess just fully dash.
Sweet, go ahead and roll me a luck check
to see how close Urdan's office is to the great hall.
That's an eight.
An eight.
Okay.
So you use your action surge.
You do a full dash.
You have run further than moonshine,
but you'll get there about the same time as her.
Great.
That makes sense.
Cool.
So you are running down this long haul,
rushing, you hear riots outside as swarms of people
begin heading towards the university to stop you.
Hard one, you out in the city, see like,
commoners and stuff just like booking it.
Before my turn ends, can I send Jojo to pursue a Gwain and try to restrain her?
Sure, yeah.
Cool. Go ahead and do a perception check for Jojo.
Cool.
That's an eighteen
uh... she rolled a nineteen on horse on her stealth so he flies out the window
following the trajectory of where the arrows came from
he's going after her you get the sense that inside the university you'll be
safe from a gain for now okay that she was like the bud shooting at you from
far away
i love you she not our friend. She not our friend anymore dad
She's our friend. It's complicated. I'm so confused dad
I love you my sweet strong son. I love you dad
Okay
that is
Lyconis's turn
He is going to do something.
You don't know what.
I know where he's going.
But you see at the end of Luconic's turn,
that is now Mimaw's turn, Moonshine,
you see down the hall behind you,
Mimaw barreling down the hall as a bear going,
he teleported, I don't know where he went,
but he teleported.
No, he did, made up with Mimaw, maybe we'll try to plane ship down thereed I don't know what I'm doing. No, he did.
Me and up with me.
Well, maybe we'll try to plane ship down there.
I don't know.
She's going to take the dash action.
She goes over.
She scoops you up.
You're now riding on the back of this giant bear.
She charges forwards down the head.
Oh, that means that we could get over it.
Yeah.
That is back up to Cobb.
Hard one has been discovered.
He's gonna take some shots at Hard one.
Ooh, crits on the first hit.
Ow.
Misses on the other two though.
That's good.
Cobb shoots you for 50 damage.
Wow.
And I need you to do a strength saving throw to knock it,
knocked prone.
34.
34, super pass.
You tight in your stomach as you're shot
with an actual bullet, but you're damn near a god,
so you don't fall over.
I got a new core.
Copshoots two more times, but misses.
That is crann, she's running off.
Hard one, that's your turn.
All right, sweet.
So I see the commoners running at me in my hiding spot.
You see commoners, some running towards you,
some running towards like the university.
You get the sense that your friends
are definitely in trouble too.
Okay, so, and I would know that they're probably
going to the all-caster, right?
Go ahead and give me an insight, check, hard one.
15.
15. 15.
You know at the very least that your friends
at the university are definitely in trouble.
Okay, so I'm gonna just tell Cobb, Mama, and Jaina,
I'm not afraid of you guys,
but we're just not doing this right now.
And I'll take a full disengage again
and run into the university. It's going and run it to run it to the university.
It's going to take you a couple turns to get there. Do you want a dash or disengage?
I guess I want to do whichever one's fastest.
Dash is fastest. If you action surge and keep running, you'll be able to get there faster to do kind of what Bev did.
Okay, I'm going to I'll do that. Sweet, I'll ask. I'll use my action search.
If you dash though, Jaina gets an opportunity attack.
Just one.
Just one?
All right.
I also have this new thing at level 19
that lets me gain five plus my con modifier to my HP
when I'm below half my points.
Great.
Okay.
So she takes a swing at you as you begin dashing
and that is a 24 to hits.
She does 19 damage to you, hard one.
Okay.
Get back here, you coward.
I'm not a coward, I am running,
but this is, I trust me,
this is kind of heroic what I'm doing.
Hard one.
You rush off full dash, action surge, full dash again.
You find yourself outside the university,
kind of near where the addition was,
where Boundor was sleeping,
and you see Boundor is in an intense fight,
just like he has mounted Couter,
and he's just punching him in the face
What are you doing man? What's gotten into you and you see a bunch of like glaed home guards are trying to stab into
Bound or a bound or is fighting them off hard one what the hell is going on man?
Jesus man either come with me or I'm gonna have to fucking come in there
Bound or we'll start acting our hard ones turn you see he
Punches in a cooter knocks him out and then that was awesome by the way cooter is strong as hell
He's like level seven now, but I'm kind of a god
But I was in the middle of a dad nap. He totally stabbed me and sucked. His ton of things still asleep. Down door is bleeding. No,
Tata Thin is not there. He is what also have been under the spell.
Oh, no. Also, oh, no. Yeah.
Um, that is Dirlins turn. Dirlins running away.
That is, um, Mom on Jane and all those guys cannot keep up with you with action surge and everything. So those guys are all gone. That is back to
Moonchains turn. Okay. So Mima got me 40 extra fee because she took a
dash. So I'm gonna move whatever I need to move to then get to right over the
all-caster cast stone shape. And then ideally I'd like to land on
Lucana's if I can knowing they just teleported in there. I can bonus action after I cast playing
Stone Shape I can bonus action going to a race
You as you as you rush down the steps and get to the great hall over which the secret basement sits
You see Lucana is waiting for you in the great hall there and holds up as one and get to the Great Hall over which the secret basement sits.
You see, Lucana is waiting for you in the Great Hall there
and holds up his wand at you.
Not one step further.
I put my hands to the ground and I cast Stone Shape.
He holds his wand up and he is going to cast...
I ain't gonna fight you daddy.
...counter spell at an eighth level.
All right, then I cast Counter spell at an eighth level. All right, then I cast Counter Spell at an eighth level myself.
You use Luconus' own teachings against him and you see his spell fizzles in his hand.
He bought what were you doing thinking you could go after your best student.
I feel proud, but also I hate you and I love the Allah.
Does that make sense? Does that sound the way?
At the end of this, honestly, you're probably
going to hate yourself a lot.
And I'll help you work through that.
And then I ston-stone-shape the ground and disappear.
You'd ston-shape you and Mima.
Make like a little stone slide.
Make a stone slide and slide through the floor.
That is Bev's turn.
Am I in vicinity of the slide?
I'll say, I'll say, you are able to get to the slide
and I'll say, even if it's not the language of
stone shape, it's cool.
You see moonshine and a bear begin to disappear
into a tunnel as Lucana goes, don't go in there,
you're not allowed in there.
Sorry, Sarah, I hate to disrespect you,
but desperate times.
And I head on the slide too.
Sweet. Um, Bev, you jump down the slide behind, um, Mima and Munchine. Um, I'll say it took you
a full dash to get there. So you guys Munchine, Mima and, um, Bev all plop down into the tunnel down
here. You guys see that, um, the allcaster is here and vulnerable and it is not being
guarded. In fact, you see that not only is Coex is gone, but some of his brass
scales have been left behind like they've fallen off. Oh, this is a bad scene. Um, that takes us back up to hard one.
So I'm still running through the university.
So you and you and Balnor are running through the university.
I'll say, I'm going to roll a D10 and you and Balnor are just
going to get rocks thrown at you by like random students
and stuff that are there just like random
commoners like riding as you try to run into the great hole. rocks thrown at you by random students and stuff. Better there, just random comedies,
riding as you try to run into the Great Hall,
you guys are pretty close.
If I get fucking taken out by a rock,
I'm pretty really sad.
First Titan killed by a stone.
Okay.
Titan fell by a stone.
So there are eight attacks coming at you.
Hard when you take 14 damage.
Okay. And Bound you take 14 damage. Okay.
And Boundor takes 16 damage.
He looks a bit worse for where?
Uh, what's up with these people, man?
You guys see the tail end of Beverly sliding down
the stone slide.
I'd recognize that new thick ass anywhere.
We gotta go follow that point.
You see, Ballnor joins you, starts running.
I'm going to say he'll use one of his action surges
and does a full dash.
He uses his new divine power, scoops you up and carries you
further as you guys both rush towards it.
You guys hop down the slide, moonshine and Bev,
you guys see hard one and bound or collapse
on top of you guys in this tunnel
near the carapace of Cooixis and the All Caster.
Holy shit, Bev, can I see your amulet?
Oh yeah, take a gander.
Are we out of combat?
You guys aren't out of danger yet.
Like, look how does it get to that?
The second I get a chance,
I'm trying to dispel magic on that all-caster
Yeah, so that is after hard ones turn that is going to be moonshine's turn all right
Seventh level dispel magic on the all-caster okay
Moonshine here's what I'm going to tell you okay you are doing
Essentially arcane surgery. Yeah, I assume on the all-caster because the all the allcaster also keeps the city afloat.
So I'm going to need you to get me in our car to carve out the effect that is causing everyone
in the city to go crazy. I am going to first off I haven't used my reaction. Papa hasn't done anything. Can I use Papa to give me a hell of a action on the arcana check? Yes.. I am going to, first off, I haven't used my reaction. Papa hasn't done anything.
Can I use Papa to give me a hell of action
on the arcana check?
Yes.
So I'm gonna do this.
If I fail the arcana check,
I'm gonna counter spill myself.
If I fuck up.
Oh my god.
Wow.
I'm furiously washing my hands
so I can be just like a nurse during this operation.
Yeah.
Yeah, everyone's sued up on I'm doing surgery. Okay,
so you guys all gather around the allcaster. These green gemstones sticking out of this arcane
apparatus. Moonshine. If this is the case, I'm going to do a sixth level dispel magic and save my
seventh level to be a counter spell of myself. Okay, Mo. Um, moonshine, go ahead and give me an arcana check
to try to dispel the charm.
25.
25?
Nice.
moonshine, you cast dispel magic,
a targeted precise dispel magic spell
into the allcaster and
I smell I smell coffee in the air cuz I'm like I'm taking it's taking me back to the library where I did all my wizarding
I have some beans. I'm just putting right under her nose. He's doing that double coffee thing and
The city does not stop levitating so you know you have successfully not done that okay and you guys
hear the sounds
of
People hitting the floor okay, so it sounds like like you heard like the distant rumbles of like a riot in the city
And right now you hear nothing. I mean you see you see me ma come me ma comes out of her bare form and she goes
I mean, you see, you see me. Let me look at me, Ma.
Me Ma comes out of her bare form and she goes,
I'm so sorry, baby.
I'm so sorry.
She, she grabs you.
We're really bad at all.
I mean, I'll take the hug.
It always feels good being my mom's arms,
but I need to make sure that what I just cut out
was the right thing.
Are you okay?
You're okay.
I'm all right, but I didn't have the spell cast on me.
Okay, let's go.
Someone, someone go up and check out Peepaw. Oh, run up. Yeah.
You guys go in and you see that Peepaw Luke is passed out. So it looks like just from exhaustion,
like whatever it was, just like overwhelmed them. He's out. Oh, okay. You guys, you guys
look out one of these giant windows. You see that there were people like almost like
zombie apocalypse style, like trying to like climb in the windows to get to you guys
hanging in the windows trying to like climb up into the university
people passed out at the door. You look out of the university doors into the city at large
and you see that everyone that was under the effects of the spell has now passed out and you see over
the horizon flying towards Gladehome and its vulnerable populace is Erdan a top-acrupted
skeletal coexis fuck this the new is this pestilence now and that's where we'll end our session
Oh my god, can you tell me though? Like everyone's passed out, but that doesn't mean I failed right? No, you that mean
Yeah, yeah, okay. Yeah, they're all just sleeping. It's fine. It's on the city was very tired
When you save the day and that means that everyone falls to their knees and passes out
You're scared that you didn't save the day
Yeah, no holy shit
What I work and we'll talk about this on the short rest but what a fucking interesting thing to now we have to go up against
quicks and
Erdan
Yeah, you're just making us fight our friends
It's good. It's good. I think you're good. You're smart. You're a great story.
This is also so bad for me because I used a ninth level and eighth level and a sixth level spell. I now have one seventh level spell left and then
how poetic was it that you got to counterPal though. Yeah, that was great. That was great. That was great.
Sweet guys, we'll talk about more of this over on the Patreon.
Patreon.com slash NAD pod.
That's NADD POD, don't sing yet.
We.
I actually finally learned the lesson.
I didn't even try to sing.
Oh, wow, really good.
Wow.
Yeah, guys, do we have anything to plug this week?
I want to, I guess, like, we did this on the short rest,
but I wanna give a shout out to everyone who's still
out there working in the hospitals and fighting.
Yes, yes, thank you for, I mean, doing the real work.
Thank you for, yeah.
The true Titans.
Being our hero.
The true Titans.
The true Titans of Earth.
And we're moving.
Cool, so yeah, we had some stuff sent to our PO box. Thank you all so so much for sending us these treats
First of all, we got some nice notes from Brian C. H
David T sent a lovely handwritten note on a nice. I want to say animal scanner a thicker burned canvas texture
boy very cool very legitimate
Anvisa texture. Oh boy.
Very cool, very legitimate.
And they also sent some custom dog tags
for pop-hop-hawkan-jaja.
Cute.
Awesome.
All of our beloved animals.
All three, a part of the story.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I want to read out what the dog tag say
because it's very cute.
Pop-hop says, if found, ask for legal advice.
Oh. Jaja says, I'm not ask for legal advice. Oh.
Jojo says, I'm not lost.
Just slow.
Oh, that's great.
And Kaka's, of course, probably the most touching of all says,
I don't know a hard one.
A gentle ribbing.
Very nice.
So thank you, David T. for those.
This look at some hand drawn merch ideas from Connor.
One of their ideas was a weird thumbs
up that says, opa hard one style. Jesus. So look for that. Just to ensure that I will be wearing
personally. Oh shout out to Landon and Lexi. They sent us a save the date. Congratulations on your
upcoming nuctuels. Whenever those may be, wishing you the very best trying to get that all sorted out.
when ever those may be, wishing you the very best trying to get that all sorted out, Godspeed.
Oh, and Ben Gamble sent us a copy of his book,
Dragon Suck, it's about a peasant,
kind of a saucy peasant who is tasked with defeating
an ancient dragon, it's kind of a sarcastic take on that genre.
You can find that online, believe Amazon,
it's available there, as well as other booksellers. a sarcastic take on that genre. You can find that online, believe Amazon,
it's available there as well as other booksellers.
Sweet.
And then, oh, most importantly, shout out to Jamila,
AKA at ChacoCopta on Twitter,
who made the entire first episode of our podcast
into a comic.
It's so cool.
It's so cool.
It's really interesting.
We should leave that shout out to the fucking front
of the episode, it's so good.
Yeah, it's so good. Yeah, it's all good.
You can read it right now at tapest.io slash series,
slash not another D&D podcast, the fancomic.
Actually not another D&D podcast, the fancomic,
or just Google, not another D&D podcast,
fancomic, I'm sure it'll work.
We also shared it on our Instagram and Twitter or if not.
So if you're trying to find an easier way to get to it.
Yeah, you can find it.
I trust you guys.
Yeah, it's another way.
You know the way.
Sweet guys, well that's it for this week.
We'll be back next week with another episode.
In the meantime, we got the short rest.
If you want to follow us on Twitter,
at CHMurf is me, at called these called well,
Adi, Axord is Emily and at Jake, her which is Jake,
and you can tweet about the show using
hashtag nad pod that's n-a-d-d-p-o-d.
Now it's we are we are we are.
Oh great.
The information we are we are.
The universe.
And now it is time to shout out our benevolent council of elders.
We've got Brad D, Dylan B, Danny P, Steelbreaker, and Samuel B, members of Luna's Flying Wolf
Pack.
They all own dope matching bomber jackets.
Unfortunately, the jackets got ripped to shreds.
The first time they transformed in them, but it looks super intimidating, honestly, so
it was worth it.
Beardman Dan, Adam R, Danielle, the Dastardly Dame, Alucard, and the Unread in-
Undead, and also Unread, just like Maveris, Undead incinerator, Henshman, who quit working for
the pestilence because they thought his plan to infect the people of Gladehome was just a little
too fucked up, even for a race.
Haldor Frostback, Jordan DJ, Jeffrey S, Cutter W, and Andrew M. Jojo's siblings, they're
all very proud of their big brother, who they affectionately call speedy, because how
much faster he is than all of them, ain't that cute.
Shoeberthem mushroom, Elena C, Michael McD, the head mixologist, Victor T. Bounder's
boy, and Michael C, enchanted pots
and pans who prepared the feast enjoyed by the band of boobs, normally the glittering
lady just eats an entire raw sheep while watching TV.
Yeah.
So they were thrilled to get a chance to properly entertain again.
Just an eye, Jacob C. Alina M. Dana G. and Paul G., a crew of Glade Home Disease specialists
who declared that Erdan
showed no residual signs of infections after banishing the sword, so when you think about
it, everything is entirely their fault.
Yeah, so not Beverly's.
Good, glad we all cleared that up.
Damial R, Destincy, Jive G, David T, and Aaron, Sully, a murder of infected crows led by
Kaka, currently attacking anyone with pronounced glutes impossible.
Improbable.
Quite unlikely.
Sitter Geo Salazar, Solomon Sakurai, Desai Swayni, Michael L, Trayle the Cray-Fay, and
Jori S, four legendary parents of the realm who have mastered the art of achieving a full
night's rest after only getting three hours of sleep in an easy chair, Boundor worships
at their socked and sanded feet.
Adam H. Ryan, Angel B. and Christopher D.R.
The Butler Guild, which is most certainly going to find Cordon Blue for allowing himself
to be called a butlerler and be treated so casually. Also the pleats in his pants aren't to code.
So after getting, especially not after getting drenched in the shower, so he's
got hell to pay. Richard, X-Mock and S.M.L. Troy Mixy and Drew Nasty, a nest of
unhatched baby dragon eggs which will come to know moonshine as their quote unquote
Mother someday and will learn to coexist with the small folk. Let us let us pray
Josh as Nicholas C Austin C. Christen P and Axel A Luna's anger management therapists
They actually don't work on getting rid of her anger, but instead
They actually don't work on getting rid of her anger, but instead water and weed it so that it grows into the beautiful garden that it is. Mike H. Matthew E. Catherine S. and Shadow.
A group of green teens that got in trouble for swearing on Pallor, they saw a flyingian, trust the traveler Robert F and Hunter R.
Melphs surviving ratlers who hated seeing me ma turn on moonshine but had to respect how convincing her shape change was.
Zolo Dolodolo Nick B. Burley T. Panama James and I am the atlas, a group of wizards that hold the record for greatest number of successive counter spells on one spell, it's five.
Which is honestly a pretty easy record to beat.
Watch your backs, everybody.
People are going to be coming for you.
Colton B. J. C. C. Lulu and Aiden R. H. Eguane's arrow manufacturers.
That's right.
They expressed concern when Eguane was loading up on arrows and carving Beverly's name
into them, but nobody really had
the mental fortitude to step in there.
Timmy R, Blitzbrig Demetri, J-Dragonborn, and Zach C, 4 of the townsfolk who threw rocks
at Boundor and Hard One, all of them hit.
Congrats guys, you brought me down to 4th fucking HP.
Lucas B, Jordan L, Tally X, Mateo C, Kazimir, the all-knowing
Tonathins, Goliath, Monkfriends who quickly scooped their sleeping buddy when everything went
down in Gladehome, a clutch scoop indeed. Kaley, Elise, Barnes & Nader, Christian A, Yens,
Christian T, and Luke H. Cordon's fellow butlers. Each one more subservient than the last.
It is said that they can bow so deep they can pass through floors. Oh my goodness.
Devin W. Chenua B. Jared E. Persephone and Eric McDee. The EMTs who nursed
Cudder back to health with good berries after Boundorn knocked him out, they shall hence forth be known as the Berry Boys, Berry Boys.
Reese and As Eric and Andrea B. J. Parker, Jonathan O. and Austin, MR, Ernan's team of dermatologists
who treated his boils so well that no one suspected anything was wrong until it was too
late.
Great work everyone, but also you have doomed us all. Steven C. Maxwell C. Mike K. Omri M. K. L. Mima's snake babies as is the custom
of the Crick every polymorph results in dozens of eggs being hatched. These beautiful baby
snakes are possibly the only good thing to come out of Mimos' snake shift. Scottie, Mikongji, Dan, and the Red Rain, a crew of Crick Elves who were so blacked out
on Crickwater that they couldn't function enough to attack the boobs.
Good, we salute you, you heroes.
Richard C. Caron T. Curtis S. Nathaniel P. and Nikki W.
Jojoz A. Some more.
Jojoz brothers and sisters all equally adorable, all equally young, Beverly's,
toward his children.
Andrew B. Christopher B. Nicholas P. Kevin M. Rahul N. Luna's pack, just a bunch of
swole wolves who love to hunt hard and party harder.
Nothing beats hunting and getting tanks.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Maribel, the Kitty Morphing gnome, Joe McGee, Meta Amps, Atticusy, Amy W and Grace G,
the team of therapists that it's going to take to help hard one get over the trauma of
being attacked by his noble possum queen.
We're going to need a breakthrough here, Docs, we really are.
Eric G, Michelle O. Gage M, number one, Beverlin fan, Jen R. Feldonis and Dave H. A group of teens
who is one year older than a Gwein, who actually looks up to Holy shit. Literally, the only people
in the world that a Gwein thinks are cool. Britney B. Eric F. Redneck Ruff, Christian F. S. and Jack L. Whiskey
Elementals. Oh my goodness. Whiskey Elementals. Oh my goodness, whiskey elementals.
They're like water elementals,
except a golden brown color and way, way, way, way, way sexier.
Y Grek32, Michael, K.M. Tingle, the Bard,
Kelvin Noodles, S.M. and Colton K.
Some of you go's most prolific clients.
They're actually confused why he hasn't been answering.
They're calls or texts, but it is
because he's dead.
You guys, I hate to be the one to tell you, but he's dead and he deserved it.
So sorry about that, but thank you all.